#Cosmo was about to commit arson that day

[somnibun]

Just a lil shitty comic to show my pain

And of course, Dandy's greedy ass didn't give out any heals

[silver-the-pendejo]

Chapter One

It had been two weeks since the people from the Hivemind joined the chain, and it was obvious that they got along more with some of them than with others, having set their favorite people since the start.

Sky and Candy were almost joined by the hip, doing a lot of things together, including when Sky had to take night watch, Candy stayed up to help him sometimes.

Wild and Cloud, sometimes Cloud goes with Wild to help him hunt but not to cook. The first time they made the mistake of letting Cloud cook, the group almost ended up with food poisoning.

Bestie and Four, for some reason Bestie likes to pick him up by his scruff and then throw him over her shoulder, no questions asked, and Four got accustomed to it, because he had to walk lest, and for some reason he found it comfortable.

Legend and Bean, it was almost impossible to believe, but these two were friends. Legend show’s Bean most of his magical artifacts that he has with him, when to other people he is fussy and about to go for their throat.

First was half of the time with Silver and Chill, Silver being more chaotic and acting like a little sibling, meanwhile Chill acted like the tired older sibling, so First got accustomed to taking them on walks and sometimes playing hide and seek with Silver.

Wind and Fruit, the cute fetus couple for the group, were a part of little gremlins all the time, joking around, pranking people, being 14 year old childs, and not traumatized childs is better for these two.

Hyrule and Raijin recounted the medical supplies together during the night, and they also treated others' injuries after a fight with a monster. And for some reason Raijin was always making simple comments to Hyrule in English, because for some reason, when the Hivemind appeared, they had the ability to speak, read and understand Hylian.

Cosmo and Warriors had the mania to speak about skin care routines, how to maintain a healthy hair, and find various ways so Cosmo’s glasses didn’t fall during fights, or when they were running,

Time and Ko, for some reason Time listens to Ko babbling about Pepsiman when he does it, not saying anything, just hearing him and nodding with his head every time he says anything, or when he starts to speak about nonsense, he just listens. 

Twilight and Shaunti, Twi was overprotective of her to say the least,he let Shaunti use his wolf pelt half of the time,he try to cook food for her, but end up bringing the ingredients, like that one time when she wanted to eat chicken Nuggets, and when he found out that a chicken was a cuco in her world, so he tried to capture one, it didn’t end well and Fruit end up killing it, and Cloud was the one to prepare them, but at least he made the effort.

The other didn’t have established with whom they pases most of their time and mostly rotated, but it was funny, Rosie running around with Wind and Fruit after committing arson on a bokoblin camp during their third day on Wilds Hyrule. Puddle and Candy speaking puddle language in front of Sky and watching him losing his mind trying to understand them.Li, walking around with First, Chill and Silver , until Silver decides to run off to collect things and then come back with mud, about to make them join the chaos. Bean and Cuckie making chaos and trauma jokes in front of Legend, who is slowly losing his mind because of them.Nilo helping sometimes to make draws of each medicinal plant that they found to help Hyrule and Raijin to make the medicine. Honey sometimes goes along with Ko to speak about Pepsiman, and try to make Time go crazy, or this tree sometimes plans jokes and throws the fault in the gremlin duo and last, Padoru they join forces with Warriors and Cosmo to make the group decent, cause they don’t look decent half of the time.

But back to what is happening right now, it is simple: Wind and Fruit were missing, a thing that was worrying since they were supposed to be with the group, since Warriors were speaking with Artemis about the monsters that were having strange behavior. But when Rosie was about to ask Fruit a question, they realized that the cute fetus couple wasn’t there, and it made chaos start.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU TWO LOST THEM!??!”

“We looked away for one second and they were gone….”

“KO YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO KEEP AND EYE ON THEM, THEY ARE THE SECOND GREMLIN PAIR, AFTER ROSIE AND SILVER, AND YOU KNOW THAT THEY CAN COMMIT ARSON ONLY FOR FUN, AND YOU HYRULE, WERE SUPPOSED TO ALSO KEEP THEM ON LINE, THEY ARE CHILDREN, THEY CAN’T BE LEFT ALONE” 

Candy had been screaming for 20 minutes to Ko and Hyrule, shaking Ko  by the shoulders, and having a breakdown over it, Nilo and Sky tried to calm her down, but she shaked them off and continued to scream to Ko, meanwhile the others.

“Okay, so If you were Fruit and Wind, where would you go?” Time was making a plan to find them,  Warriors provide a map of the city, pointing the places were the two childs could be, Wild was trying to calm down Cloud, who was about to have a breakdown because Fruit is missing, yeah Cloud threat to kill them one time, but they are one of the kids, one of the beloved server gremlins.

“If it was Wind’s idea, and is more probable, somewhere near water” Li says while trying to keep Rosie and Silver calm, because they were speaking in Spanish, and by the sound of it, it probably was insults to Ko and Hyrule, and some other not good things.

“What do you mean more probable? Fruit is also a fucking disaster, maybe they where the ones that fucking drag Wind to explore, after all, they can’t even decide if they are going to sleep or not” Legend responded agressively, causing the other discussions to stop, except Candy, she was still shouting to the par of useless babysiters, and that the group look to him.

“What did you just say about Fruit, you fucking Pinky Pie?” Li got closer to Legend, with her hand forming a fist, the only reason they didn’t punch him was because Bean stopped them, but Bean was also angry, sending an angry glare to him.

“What you hear, you fucking imsonic outlander” Legend respond, about to say other insult, when Roise, lunged at him and started pulling at his hair, and bit the hand Legened used to try to get them off of him.

“DON’T YOU DARE INSULT FRUIT” Rosie continues with it, no member of the group tries to stop them, they stay still and see the chaos happens, meanwhile Time, Twilight and Warriors continue with a plan to look for the two fetuses.

—--------------------------------------

Meanwhile Wind and Fruit were exploring castle town, where mostly Wind was exploring and dragging Fruit along, Wind was very excited running around and seeing everything around the town, and Fruit was about to have a breakdown, cause they didn’t want to be in here, they wanted to be with the group, making plans with the fremlins to overthrow Time, Candy and Cloud as the group leaders.

“Wind, you know we were supposed to stay with Ko and Hyrule while the others discuss where to go hunt the monsters right? We are not supposed to be out here exploring, the group is going to be mad at us” Fruit was fidgeting with their hands, looking around and biting their lips.

“Is going to be okay Fruit, I don’t think they will get too mad, we can use our child privileges to save ourselves when the adult’s find us” Wind was sure that they were safe in there, until he started to hear people scream.

“What is happe… IS THAT A FUCKING DRAGON!!??!” When Wind looked up to where Fruit's hand was pointing, he saw a red dragon, more specifically a red dragon that had fire on his back, and that was coming towards them, wait, coming towards them?.

“FUCKING GODDES, FRUIT RUN!!” Wind took Fruit's hand and started running in the opposite direction of the dragon, dodging the other people who were running and trying to find a way to get back to the castle.

“I WANT CANDY AND CLOUD!!!!” Fruit was starting to have a breakdown while they ran, almost tripping and dragging Wind with them.

But no matter how hard they ran, they couldn't reach the castle when a pair of claws caught them and lifted them off the ground, starting to fly away and away from the castle and the citadel.

—--------------------------------------

“Commander Impa!! We have ugent notices from the castle town!!” One guard ran into the room, causing the fight that had broken out to stop, and all the people to turn around to see him.

“You have permission to speak” 

“Soldiers in the castle reported the Volga sighting, and so it seems. when he walked away, in his claws he had two people trapped” The soldier says, standing up straight.

“Wait, two people?”

“WIND AND FRUIT!!” And the chaos broke out again, only this time, because of the fear of what could happen to the two youngest of the group.

[thetygre]

30 Day Monster Challenge 2 - Day #10: Favorite Goblin/Orc

1.      Uruks

I wanna’ tell you a story, folks. It might sound a little familiar, but stick with me. Once upon a time, there was a farm-boy. A simple lad, who had high hopes for a life of adventure beyond the town. He wasn’t the brightest, but what he lacked in brains he made up for in bravery. One day, as you do, farm-boy was working out in the field with his family when a monster attacked. The local guard piled on to the monster, but they just couldn’t bring it down. It tore through soldier after soldier after soldier, just for the fun of it. Our farm-boy knew he would probably die, but he didn’t care. He had his chance and took it; he picked up a stick, ran at the monster, and brought it down. Our farm-boy became a hero.

That farm-boy’s name was Kravitz the Marked One. He was an orc slave working in the fields the first time he killed me. The warchief promoted him on the spot and gave him a set of armor. The second time he killed me they gave him a caragor to ride. The third time he was given command over a company of hunters. I got him on the fourth time, though, and recruited him to the Bright Lord’s army. I was going to make him Overlord of Nurn, and raise him up to sit at my right hand, a real rags-to-riches story. He helped me take the Overlord’s fortress, riding with me at the siege. But poor little Kravitz took a mortal wound there, one I couldn’t save him from. And as he lay there, dying in my arms, he looked and me and he said, ��Remember this moment, Tark. Remember it for as long as you live.” And I always did.

There’s a lot of other stories I could tell you. About Ugakuga the Maddest One, who saved my life, or Kellec the Tree Killer who communicated only in screams, or Flug the Ghul Lover who would track a matron across Mordor just to protect her. Uruks are rambunctious, and violent. They fight with each other even if you get them on the same team. They’ll betray you at the drop of a hat for the smallest slight. They pick fights with warriors and monsters that can kill them in one hit just to make a point.

But when they’re your own, you love them.

2.      Greenskins

The greenskins are the puncline to the grimdark joke that is Warhammer. While they’re in both the fantasy and 40k settings, they really stand out in 40k. Warhammer fantasy still has halflings, dwarves, and typical fantasy shenanigans to pick up the slack; 40k NEEDS some comic relief. The Orks aren’t concerned about empires or Chaos or the greater good. The Orks, pure and simple, are in it for the fun. They’re work is at its finest when its fast, loud, and in flames. Put together, they can generate a kind of psychic field that makes their beliefs a reality. This power is not used to reshape the fabric of the cosmos, but to enforce much more important principles like ‘things go faster when they have flames painted on. In the grim darkness, the orks are a pie to the face filled with C4.

3.      Order of the Stick

The goblins in Order of the Stick are kind of different from how they’re commonly depicted, but not too unrecognizable. They’re a monster race, living in the wilderness, trying to eke out a living, though they’re a bit taller and smarter than standard goblins, about on par with humans. But the thing that makes them stand out is Redcloak, and Redcloak is pretty great, both as an antagonist and a character in his own right. Redcloak has made decisions, bad decisions, decisions that he could have not made but he did because he felt he had to. And it’s interesting to watch him now, filled with regret, committed to this course, and wondering what will happen next.

4.      Nyambe

Nyambe-Tanda was an African campaign setting for 3rd. Edition D&D that not a lot of people remember. They should, because it was pretty great, both at representing an underexplored area of fantasy and also for its own setting features. Somehow, it blended West African mythology and post-modern tabletop fantasy masterfully. One of the best examples is its orcs.

You’ve got your standard narrative; at the beginning of time, there were the various races, and each of the gods favored one race over the others. Originally, the gods only divulged so much to the races because they wanted to keep things fair. But the orcs were having a hard time of it, living in badlands and scrounging for food. So their god, Ogun, the god of war, decided to give them a little boost. He made them stronger, faster, tougher than other races. But Ogun wasn’t just the god of battle; he was the god of blacksmithing. So the orcs of Nyambe learned how to mine and forge metal while the other races were still wearing leaves and furs. And by the time the other races figured out bronze, the orcs had iron.

From there, things went about as well as you would expect. The orcs swarmed out, conquering the continent one region at a time. The other races barely had metal, much less iron; any resistance was like bring a stick to a gun fight. Even after Ogun withdrew his patronage from the orcs, they turned to worshipping dark gods and demons, adding sorcery to their arsenal. The orcs set up a dark empire across Nyambe-Tanda, and it took nothing less than an alliance between all the races, the dragons, and God to stop them. The dumb orcs of Nyambe today are the cursed remnants of that empire, and their demon-haunted ruins still litter the continent.

Just think about all that. Look at how much the orcs did in this setting. And they did it for themselves; not for any god or Dark Lord, but because they wanted to. The Evil Empire that the plucky last-ditch rebellion had to stop didn’t use orcs; it was MADE by them. They fundamentally shaped the setting. In Nyambe, orcs are legendary and feared. Even the few remaining half-orcs are watched closely and with fear, looking out for any sign that the old powers might return. And that’s just such a massive departure from the norms of fantasy while still staying true to certain elements; I love it.

5.      Pathfinder

Pathfinder’s goblins are clearly descended from Warhammer’s; cheerful, incorrigible pyromaniacs who enjoy arson, butchery, and singing adorable little songs about how much they hate horses. Even their designs are cute; oversized head, constant grins, beady little eyes, big flappy ears, and a shark-like nose make them look more like gangrene bats than monsters. When Pathfinder was first released, it was decided by the Paizo team that they wanted their monsters to stand apart from the standard D&D variants of monsters, remaining true to certain aspects while inventing new ones. Goblins were the first example, and are still the most beloved. They became mascots of the system, and even a playable race. So much malevolent charm has been poured into Pathfinder’s goblins that you feel almost bad for killing them. You’ll have to though, because they really don’t feel bad about killing you and then burning your house down.

6.      Eberron

Eberron orcs are another attempt to experiment with the standard formula, seeing what can be retained and what can be changed. An orc on Eberron can still be a wild berserker, but they’re more likely to stick to one of the villages they live in as a farmer. Orcs in Eberron are the oldest species on the planet, predating humans and all the other races. It gives them this kind of grouchy veteran persona that pervades the whole race, and they tend to look down on the younger peoples. Eberron orcs are also a lot more spiritual, trying to live in tune with the land and spirits. It was the orcs’ druids that saved the world from extradimensional horrors long ago, and most of them stick to that tradition. They don’t want any praise or to be raised up as heroes, though. They mostly just want the young races to listen to them when they say important things like, “Don’t poke the fabric of reality” and “Don’t trust elves” and “No, ma’am, I would not care to do that with you.”

7.      Warcraft

It was inevitable that Warcraft orcs would be on here. There’s no escaping them; by now they’re probably more popular than Tolkien orcs. They actually have a fairly complex history and lore; addicted to demon juice, tricked by an evil shaman, warring with the goat-people. Thrall is still the coolest shaman in anything ever, even if it is kind of hard not to just call him ‘orc Moses’. Even their explanation for the green skin is cool; an eternal curse for drinking demon blood in wars past. Honestly, though, I loved the orcs best in Warlords of Draenor. The Iron Horde is what elevated the orcs from ‘kind of cool’ to full-on ‘Metal’. It was a shame to see them go, but that’s just how it is.

8.      Rankin Bass

My first orcs. I watched the Rankin Bass Hobbit films when I was a kid, so these were the first time I met goblins who didn’t come out of a fairy tale. They were scary more than cool, but they also had a kind of dorky charm to them. The original Hobbit goblins with their gaping mouths and giant fangs are still a classic. They seem like perfect fairy tale monsters to me, and fit right in to the Hobbit’s original tone. Also got to love those classic goblin hits like ‘Funny Little Things’. The orcs in Return of the King had way more variety in shape, and there was even some blurring between them and the trolls, but no particular design stuck with me. You know what did stick with me? The best damn song in the entire world, that’s what.

9.      The Wolverines

Stan Nicholls’ Orcs series is more in the vein of the Black Company or the Golden Age of Berserk than it is any other kind of orc story. It follows the exploits of a mercenary band of orcs while they traipse around first one fantasy world, then more. By the second trilogy, they’re freedom fighters for orc supremacy on whatever world they can find them. All the while, they never stop being just unapologetically bastards. You get a feel for the commanders and the soldiers, while taking in that whole mercenary life pastiche. Not anything groundbreaking yet, but still a good band.

10.   Goblin Slayer

Credit where credit is due, Goblin Slayer tries its damnedest to take goblins and make them horrific, intimidating monsters. Does it succeed? Ehhhhh... I don’t want to keep saying ‘Berserk did it better’, but it really is hard not to compare the goblins to the trolls from Berserk. Still, there’s stuff to applaud here. These are some nasty goblins, even in terms of design, with jagged shark teeth and dead frog eyes. If nothing else, it’s interesting to see the kind of hierarchy usually reserved for higher-powered monsters like dragons and demons given to the ‘cannon-fodder’.