#Connoisseur's Corner
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Girl, we gonna be fat as fuck with how much Rammstein is feeding us. 2.5 months of nothing but most delectable dishes served raw 👩🍳😩
The finest, most meatiest and savoury dishes in question:
(gifs by @dandysnob)
This feral fandom, each concert night as we stuff ourselves with this delicious meal:
#rammstein#richard kruspe#ask#Rammstein 2024#I'll be a fucking connoisseur at the end of this tour. and dead because how should I survive this#rammchaos#thirsting corner
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Literally never thought I’d be saying this and it absolutely does not make up for the rest of the. Everything. But somehow against all odds MHA has contained the ONLY bad dad redemption arc that has hit the mark for me.
Doesn’t happen in one episode, not expected to sympathize immediately with said bad dad
Also doesn’t pull the ‘being nice in your last five minutes of life absolves you from all sins’ bullshit that drives me crazy
Bad dad receives consequences
The true answer for how to atone for past behavior is apologizing and then fucking off
Bad dad is adequately beat to shit both physically and emotionally 👍🏻
Those who don’t forgive him right away or at all are not portrayed as petty or childish, it’s presented as a viable option
I’m glad I gave it a chance despite being initially suspicious. Endeavor redemption arc now and always amen. How MHA managed to pull that off is entirely beyond me
#I may once again be proven wrong if more bullshit happens#but damn that redemption can arc#bnha#welcome to Rose’s hot takes corner#if you can’t handle the heat stay out of the corner!!!#like it wasn’t perfect but as a connoisseur of bad dads in media it gets a rare stamp of approval
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replaying genshin on my alt makes me feel so many new kind of emotions, like yeah sure it's not as amazing and shocking the second time (except Kaeya, still excited about him) but oh my god I can u derstand the fucking lore now. I get the names and places and little details and I can brainrot twice as hard now with the fresh shit in mind
#Dainsleif was 'quite the connoisseur' according to Diluc and that's about drinks. I'm over analysing this#Dain was making his rounds around Mondstadt for a while before settling on the place Kaeya can be found in#but then on Caribert quest Kaeya greeted Daisleif as if presenting for the first time#so that means Kaeya saw Dain and avoided him like the plague at the beginning thus Dain basically having to corner#Kaeya on Caribert quest like I'm having so many thoughts#or maybe he was just looking for the traveler but I'm Kaye pulled so eh#like yeah abyss herald and all that stuff but why the tavern you know?#kaeya alberich
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Google photos was so real for this
#It made a college of slaps <3#Ignore child-dutchy in the corner#the spongebob connoisseur#Slappy laszlo
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𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐋𝐘 𝐒𝐔𝐑𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐄𝐒 1.6k words rich yandere x gn!reader — ko-fi | patreon | masterlist | inbox | taglist | home | req. & comms
tags sugar daddy, rich yandere, low-key obsessive behaviour, first meetings, college student reader, age gap, brief mention of a rapist (no description or anything more)
—📜" Being a broke college student, you decide to try your hand at getting a sugar daddy. You find someone who is... quite eager to know everything about you. It's weird because he doesn't seem to be the same person he was online.
They say to spend your youth on nightclubs and partying with friends. But really, they don’t know the true beauty of being in a jazz club and drinking all by yourself. There’s no ill intentions, there’s no partying until the sun goes down—just some nice music and good drinks.
People find it odd, sure. But nothing can beat this feeling for you. As you lay in a couch that’s worth double your college tuition, you drink champagne that's triple your college tuition.
How you ended up here is another embarrassing story. Hunting for a sugar daddy online is a clear plan for destruction. It could end well with a decent allowance every now and then, of course. Yet, fear gets the most of you. The thought that you end up with a fat well and alive man who asks for sex with his small dick looms over you like a gloomy cloud. That fear is there because your sugar daddy is anonymous.
Sighing, you drink another sip of the champagne as you fix your posture. Again. The seat in front of you is still empty. You’d think he wasn’t really being honest with you but he did have a reservation ready for the both of you.
It’s not bad to wait. Even if you do look dumb getting stood up, at least you’re enjoying yourself.
“You lonely there?” someone asks behind you.
Turning your head behind you, you see a towering man with a smile so bright you think you could be blinded by it. He looks elegant—the way he’s holding a glass like a connoisseur and his long black hair pulled into a slick ponytail. Fuck, is he your sugar daddy? He looks the age for it and honestly, he aged really good.
You tell him, “Maybe. Are you lonely?”
He chuckles and takes the seat opposite. Finally. “No,” he says, “not anymore, at least. All thanks to…?” he gestures to you.
When you tell him his name, he parrots it like he’s tasting it. “Beautiful. Your mother picked it out?”
“I’m sure so,” you don’t know, who the hell would know that? “It’s a generational name, really. In our family we keep reusing names.”
“So are you the second? The third?”
The third was your great grandfather but he ended up being a rapist. Eugh. “The fourth,” you answer. “But I never tell anyone that, actually. Bit embarrassing if they call me the fourth, so.”
He laughs, somehow finding you amusing. “Nicolas,” he says, “very nice to meet you.”
Was… his name Nicolas? You’re not so sure about that. From the site he only revealed his last name so that you could get the reservation. Huh.
“Nice to meet you, Nicolas.” The little twitch in his lips is unavoidable to your eyes, “You look very nice tonight,” maybe that’s why he took almost an hour to arrive here. “Do you live near here or?”
“Oh, no,” he shakes his head, “I come from Bolzano. But I came here from Portofino, where my heart currently is.”
You nod like you know where those places really are. Italy, you assume. “Very nice. I heard it’s a beautiful place.”
“Beatiful even more with company,” he puts his drink down. “How about you? What makes you come here?”
You, actually. You wanted to go here. “I was raised by my grandfather and jazz was his favourite. Every corner of the house Hank Mobley would be playing. I have his old records that he passed down to me and whenever I play it, I can see the way he dances.”
“So, come down here for a little trip to memory lane?”
Before you could answer, you think about it even more. The man you were talking was definitely not Italian, right? No, his name sounded British, at most. And Nicolas sounds like he has little to no knowledge about the fact that you two are supposedly on a date.
Fuck, did you get him wrong? I mean, he is interested, you think.
“Yeah, it’s nice,” you hum. You put your glass down too, clasping your hands. “I think I do need to go now. It was nice to have your company—”
“Going so soon? A bit rude especially if you came here to be mine for a price, no?”
You pause. Though you’re ready to leave this embarrassing meeting, you’re caught. You turn to him in confusion. So you were… wrong? Right?
“Sit back down, this champagne is a bit too new to me.” He raises a hand and someone immediately finds their footing beside him. Nicolas speaks in his own tongue, requesting something you don’t understand.
You’re promptly back on your seat with a small wave of his hand. “Come on, I think we have a lot to learn about each other. But I know you.”
Did he send in a private investigator or what? Fuck, man. You didn’t think that those things were real in real life. “How much do you know?”
He doesn’t answer. His legs are crossed as he watches the busboy leave to prepare your drinks. “How are your classes?” he asks, making idle conversation of things you’re a bit worried to talk to him about. “Hope you’re dealing well.”
“Yeah,” you say, unsure of this now. “It’s all fine, yes. Just a few projects and classes.” You wonder for a moment how rude it would be to ask for a price on your body right now. “Nothing interesting, really.”
“I’m sure anything you say is of interest,” he says, all too fond of you. “Tell me, love, you mentioned having difficulties with some of your professors.”
He wasn’t interested in all that before when you were talking. “It’s fine. Well, not like I can say no. It’s a bit hard when you’re paying for an education and you’re not being taught,” you laugh, “Self-taught learning, he excuses.”
“That’s simply lazy,” he excuses. “Fine arts is such a nice career path. No reason to be dismissive of students who want to learn it.”
Did you tell him what you’re studying?
The busboy returns and brings a drink to the both of you. The song changes and it sounds familiar. You could almost see your grandfather dance behind Nicolas.
“I’m going to guess that’s your doing,” you say, “Thank you. It sounds lovely.”
He smiles, “I’m not one for jazz myself.” He reaches for his glass and swirls in, taking a whiff of its scent afterward. “But I’m curious as to who you are. How you grew up is one of those things”
When the both of you talked online, you expected him to be more lustful than this. Maybe it’s the repeating innuendo in his messages. All of that persona is gone now as if it never existed. It’s concerning.
Both of you make small conversation. Mostly it’s about you. He asks every little detail about you, asking for things that not even your friends would care about. It’s the little things.
‘Do you like soft cotton or silk?’ You don’t really know the difference but cotton is nice.
‘How often do you see your family?’ Every or so month, you’d wager. But you make sure to keep in contact.
‘What’s your thoughts on caged animals?’ A bit cruel, but you can see where it can stem from. Still, it’s cruel. You’d never do it.
The night come to a close when you start to feel a bit light-headed with the drinks you’ve ingested. Nicolas puts aside your glass as he stands to go on your side of the table. “Maybe it’s time to take a break tonight, love?”
You groan. “Yeah, I guess that’s fine now. I’m really thankful for tonight.”
“I’m glad,” he says, pulling you up and helping you walk. You don’t need it but it’s nice anyways. “I can take you back to your dorm, yes? You don’t need to worry about anything else when you’re with me.”
In your pocket, your phone buzzes. You don’t get to check it when Nicolas wraps both of his arms around your waist. He pulls you to the exit and you swear you hear ‘Signore Giordano’ come out when the men bid him goodnight.
Which is weird, because his surname is Abbot.
The ride was a blur, literally. Maybe you’ve had too much to drink. The next thing you know is that both of you are in front of your dorm. It’s too dark outside. The streets are dead silent. The low rumble of his car is the only thing you can really hear.
He calls your name. “It’s time to go home. You can’t stay with me yet, love.”
You stretch in the seat. A car seat has never been more comfortable. “Been nice, really. Thank you.”
As you unbuckle your seat, he leans forward. His arm drapes over your shoulders as his hand comes to your face. “Then can I get a little reward? Just a little?” He turns his cheek, a grin on his face.
It’s stupid but oh well, he would pay you. You press a kiss on his cheek and he looks like the happiest man alive. He laughs, looking at you with stupid heart eyes. “Thank you. Call me with this number—” he places a card in your hands—”and delete that damn app. I’ll come find you after your classes tomorrow for your contract. You don’t need to find anyone else now.”
He leaves shortly after you get inside your dorm. You hear the revving of his car go in the quiet night. It’s relieving. You’re tired on your feet, unable to really process what happened tonight.
It’s whatever. It’s all done now.
You delete the app on your phone, swiping away a message you got from it. You’re pretty sure it’s from another match you had last time but again, you don’t need it anymore.
do not redistrubute this work as yours/without permission or feed to AI 📷 art by @ L0tus_Ren_ & @ Ivan Belikov
#🦁 ⋮ NICOLAS ⸝⸝﹒#⌗ . yanderes ! ⋆ ❞#yandere male#yandere monster#yandere#obsessive yandere#yandere oc x reader#yandere oc#yandere x reader#yandere core#yandere x y/n#yandere imagines#yandere drabble#yandere x you#yandere oc smut#yandere smut#male yandere x reader#oc x reader#yan x reader#yandere fic#yandere fanfiction
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Can i have a fluffy spencer x reader piece. Just something cozy where they are all at rossis maybe after a case for some team bonding and chill time. And like he is offering everyone wine and reader goes along like "i can't" bcs she pregnant? Fluff fluff super fluff pls
Spencer Reid x Fem! Reader Trope: Established Relationship; Fluff! Just fluff! wc: 0.6k A/N: Reader is not part of the BAU, hope that's alright. I had fun writing this, hope you enjoy! Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated 💗 Main masterlist
Special Diet. // Spencer Reid
Your fiancee and his team had been out on the field for three consecutive cases all over the country. Just through Spencer’s nightly ritual calls alone, you could tell how tired and stressed he was and by extension the other members. Which was why, during their second night back in home ground, you volunteered to cook them a small feast—as long as Rossi hosted it in his place, which he readily agreed to as he was never one to say ‘no’ when a culinary chef such as yourself volunteers to cook up a meal.
“So what did our local chef cook up for the night?” Morgan asked as the team sat around the laid out table by the backyard.
You smiled, placing the finishing touches on the table. “I wanted to give the Italian cuisine a break so I present to you, French delicacies. For the starters, we have here salade lyonnaise with slices of baguette—” gesturing to the mid-size plate to their upper left. “—our mains, steak frites, and yes, I remembered to make yours rare, Morgan—” a few chuckles escaped from the team members as the called out profiler sheepishly placed his hand down “—and profiteroles for dessert.”
Rossi then started going around the table with his choice of wine to match the lavish dinner you’ve prepared.
“If you weren’t engaged to Reid, I’d marry you,” Penelope gushed as she took a bite of her meal.
Emily chuckled. “Get in line, Penelope. I get to marry her first if she changes her mind.”
“You never fail to impress me, Bambina. Now can I interest you for a glass of Cabernet Sauvignon?” Rossi asked as he reached your seat between Spencer and Emily.
“Actually, no thank you,” your answer eliciting an echo of utensils being dropped on the table. “I’m trying to cut back.”
JJ leaned forward. “Our very own wine connoisseur is saying no to Rossi’s aged wine?”
“I’m trying this special diet,” you shrugged, subtly studying if any of the best profilers the FBI has to offer understood the real reason why. Based on Hotch’s small smile behind his glass wine, the unit chief had caught on quite quickly.
“You don’t need to diet. You’re petite and fit, right kid?” Morgan clarified.
The corners of Spencer’s lips pulled slightly up as he squeezed your hand in his. “Actually, she does need to stick to the diet.”
Penelope gasped, clearly appalled at the stance your fiancee had taken. “Take that back! No way you said that, Reid!”
You giggled at the affronted reactions of the team—minus Hotch and Rossi as the two older profilers clinked their glasses together at the side. “It’s fine, Penny. It’s the truth anyway.”
Emily sent a dirty look to Spencer before asking on. “What else does this special diet entail?”
“Unpasteurized dairy, cold cuts, liver, game meat, and raw sushi to name a few,” Spencer listed out loud and with each, the smile on his face grew bigger and bigger.
“Wait, isn’t that—” JJ mumbled before promptly standing up from her seat and rushing to give you a hug.
Morgan tilted his head to the side. “What? What did I miss?”
Spencer chuckled before revealing the most obvious clue. “She has to follow the strict diet for 36 more weeks.”
There was a beat of silence before shouts and squeals emitted from all ends of the table.
“You’re pregnant?” Penelope gasped.
Emily added on. “With boy genius?”
You both nodded, bringing out a printed sonogram safely tucked in Spencer’s jacket that was draped around your shoulders. It had been a surprise when you went in for your yearly check-up but it was the type of news that Spencer quickly became happy with. His own family was expanding and he couldn’t have chosen a better partner than you.
“We present to you, baby Reid!”
Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated!
#spencer reid oneshot#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fic#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x you#pau’s request inbox 💌#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds fanfic#criminal minds fic#spencer reid fluff#dr spencer reid#spencer reid
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spinning into love - oscar piastri
pairing: oscar piastri x reader
genre: smau, written
faceclaim: buseksc
spinningaroundrecords just posted!
our new stock is here just in time for the holidays ft. our employee's recommendation wall curated by yn
liked by user3, user45, user27 and 3,419 others
user1: damnn yn's got taste
user2: do you guys have the chappel roan record in?
->spinningaroundrecords: we do!! in coke bottle clear and the coral anniversary addition
Yn had always wanted to work somewhere in the music industry. She lived, breathed and sleeped the euphoria of discovering a new favourite artist or record. From the moment she could remember, the thrill of discovering a new song, a new band, or a hidden gem in the deep corners of an album was enough to make her feel alive. It wasn’t just the act of listening; it was the feeling of music that consumed her. The electric pulse of a bassline, the bittersweet strum of a guitar, the raw, vulnerable emotion in a singer's voice—it all gave her a sense of connection to the world that she couldn’t find anywhere else. Since she wasn't the most musically inclined herself it she was extra passionate as a listener to compensate for it.
So, instead of focusing on creating music, she threw herself into the art of curating it. She spent hours browsing record shops, digging through stacks of vinyl, and chasing after obscure releases from up-and-coming artists. She was a listener, a connoisseur, someone who appreciated the artistry and emotion that went into every note.
It wasn’t long before Yn’s obsession became more than a hobby; it became her life. After years of working in different parts of the music industry—interning, managing small acts, or just helping set up gigs—she finally landed her dream job at Spinning Around Records. The record store wasn’t just a place to work for her—it was a sanctuary, a place where she could live and breathe music every day. And now, she was a permanent fixture there. She helped curate the store’s staff picks, hosted events, and even started her own little side hustle recommending records to people who had no idea where to start.
Today, Yn was standing by the store’s employee recs wall, carefully adjusting the placement of a few albums. It was a busy December afternoon, just days before Christmas. The store was filled with people rushing in for last-minute presents, some browsing, some frantically trying to find the perfect gift for that one person who seemed impossible to shop for. Yn loved the holiday chaos. There was something magical about the way music could pull people in, especially when the world was a little colder and people needed a soundtrack to their lives.
As she was straightening out the stack of vinyl, the door chimed, and Yn looked up, expecting to see the usual rush of people coming in from the cold. Instead, her gaze landed on a man—tall, with messy brown hair, wearing a jacket and jeans that somehow looked effortlessly stylish if it weren't for the drawstring style to the jeans. He was scanning the shelves, clearly out of his depth, a look of slight panic in his eyes as he searched for something among the rows of records.
Yn smirked to herself, watching him for a second. She knew that look. He was the kind of person who was very last-minute with his Christmas shopping.
“Can I help you find something?” she called over, her voice friendly and easygoing.
The man’s eyes shot over to her, and for a second, he looked a little startled, as though he hadn’t expected someone to speak up. He quickly recovered, flashing a smile that was just shy of sheepish.
“I hope so,” he said with a small laugh, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m looking for a gift... for a friend. Not really sure where to start.”
Yn raised an eyebrow, noticing the slight hesitation in his voice. “Are they into music?”
He chuckled, looking almost embarrassed. “Well, yeah, but I don’t know what kind of music they’re into. He's picky...and plays a lot of piano ”
Ah, so he was one of those shoppers, Yn thought. The kind who had no idea what their friend liked, but was determined to get it right. She could work with that.
“Well, I’ve got a few ideas,” she said, pushing away from the shelf and walking toward him. “Do you have any idea what kind of vibe you’re going for? Do they listen to anything specific, or are you just looking for something cool?”
“Uh... cool is good,” the man replied, clearly relieved that she wasn’t judging him for his lack of knowledge. “Maybe something a little indie, or a bit retro? I’m just trying to find something that’ll stand out, you know?”
Yn's smile widened. “I’ve got exactly what you need.”
She led him over to a nearby display of albums, her fingers dancing over the spines of the records as she pulled a few out. “This one’s a personal favourite of mine," she hands him a copy of Dogrel by Fontaines DC "if you want something indie that might surprise him, this would be a good choice or if you want more of a classic album then I'm always going to recommend Grace by Jeff Buckley if he doesn't already have it. No collection is complete without it! .”
As she handed him a few records, she couldn’t help but glance at his face, noticing the way his eyes lingered on the artwork. There was something oddly familiar about him—like she had seen him somewhere before.
“Do you... work here?” he asked, finally taking a breath after looking over her selections.
Yn blinked, then laughed. “No I just give recommendations for fun and know where everything is...Yeah, I do. I’m Yn,” she said, holding out a hand. “I basically live and breathe music. If you’re really stuck, I’m your go-to.”
He shook her hand, his grip warm and firm. “Oscar,” he replied. “And... I think I might need more than just a go-to. I need expert advice.”
Yn grinned. “Well, lucky for you, I’m exactly that.”
Oscar hesitated, looking a little sheepish again. “I’m actually getting this for my friend. He invited me over to his family dinner, and... I need something that shows I’m not just a complete disaster at picking presents.”
Yn’s brow furrowed slightly, intrigued. “A friend? Who’s the lucky guy?”
“Charles,” Oscar said, a small smile tugging at his lips. “He’s... I guess you could say we’re not exactly from the same world, but he’s been super kind. I’m just trying to make sure I don’t look like a total fool showing up empty-handed.”
Oscar nodded thoughtfully, looking down at the records she’d picked out. “I think these might actually do the trick.”
“Glad I could help. Just don’t show up without one of these,” she teased, before adding with a wink, “and maybe don’t tell Charles I’m the one who saved your Christmas dinner reputation.”
oscarpiastri just posted!
family dinner
tagged: charlesleclerc, arthurleclerc, alexandrasaintmleux, leo
liked by charlesleclerc, landonorris, arthurleclerc and 691,203 others
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charlesleclerc: Always room for you at the table, mate. You’re family now. 🍷🎄
alexandrasaintmleux: So happy to have you with us! Next time, I’m picking the wine, though🫣
arthurleclerc: My nephew���🍼
messages!
yourusername just posted!
life lately🎼🎧
liked by oscarpiastri, yourbsf, user45 and 2,134 others
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yourbsf: Bestie, you’re just casually glowing in every single pic?? Teach me your ways immediately. 😭�� ->yourusername: It’s all the good vibes and late-night playlists 😌
user45: Not me zooming in to see what books and records are in the background 👀
user89: Can we talk about how Oscar Piastri is casually in the likes?? 🧐
->user34: Right?? What’s he doing here lol. ->user77: Someone’s a fan of more than just F1, it seems. 👀
user777: This is such a vibe—are you starting a Pinterest board for us, or what?
user90: “Life lately” but make it the main character of a coming-of-age film. 💿✨
oscarpiastri just posted a story!
[pic 1:🎶 ] [pic 2: Bake Off Ready?]
twitter
discogs!
profile: oscar81
recently added....
pools to bathe in ~ the japanese house
salad days ~ mac demarco
midas ~ wunderhorse
f1gossip just posted!
rumoured new wag yn ln was spotted at dinner with oscar piastri. could this be the mysterious record girlie behind his soft-launch posts?
liked by landonorris, arthurleclerc, yourbsf and 32,407 others
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user4: lando in the likes? he's so messy i love him
->user3: and arthur, they defo know something
user15: so when’s the hard launch? paddock debut in Aus or a Valentine’s post? place your bets, people
user11: i give it two weeks before he posts her blurry silhouette holding a coffee cup
yourbsf: @yourusername no way haha
->yourusername: 👀
oscarpiastri just posted!
now i'm lost in your melody
liked by landonorris, mclaren, charlesleclerc and 765,091 others
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yourusername: JEFF BUCKLEY?? i've taught you well☺️
->oscarpiastri: saving my music taste since we first met🧡
charlesleclerc: so this is who i have to thank for my present 😉 bring her to the next family dinner son i approve
->oscarpiastri: will do dad 🙂⬆️
landonorris: ok lover boy
mclaren: we can't wait to meet yn🧡
->yourusername: me too admin!!🧡
user7: sleeping on the motorway tonight
user29: love IS real
#f1#f1 fic#abby's writing#f1 fanfic#formula 1 fic#f1 smau#oscar piastri#op81#op81 x reader#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri smau
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Hotline to Heaven | Joel Miller x reader
✧ Summary: An inquisitive man gets more than what he's used to when he pushes the wrong number on a phone sex hotline.
✧ Content Warnings: MDNI ! 18+ only. dom!reader, sub!joel, pre outbreak, empty house means he's up to no good, porn connoisseur, phone sex, dirty talk ( i mean duh) mutual masturbation, swearing, orgasm denial, safeword mentioned but not used, talking him through it this time, a little aftercare, slight mention of one of my favorite movies bc I know Joel would've liked it too.
✧ Authors Note: This is my submission for @wannab-urs DMAMC 2025 that you can find the masterlist here. A goal of mine this year is to step out of my writing bubble when it comes to challenges and write things I normally wouldn't on my own. If you read my work, you know this is a roles reversed situation for me and I'm nervous to share it but also excited! Thank you, Gin, for letting me be a part of this, I love you <3 As always big ups to my twin for beta reading for me, love you, Ali.
red line divider | cover and matching dividers made by (Ali) & I |
✧ WC: 2.4K | masterlist | requests | update blog | ✧
Being a single dad was not an easy job, but Joel made it work somehow. With lots and lots of pancakes and promised sleepovers at friends houses if Sarah kept her grades up.
Another Friday night at home alone while Sarah was in the next town over, probably hopped up on soda and candy, Joel digs out his laptop from the bag on the floor and sets it up on the cherrywood coffee table. The house was quiet for the most part, the low humming of the dryer down the hallway in the laundry room.
Booting up the old computer, Joel tilts his head back on the sofa and makes sure his brown curtains are closed along with the white blinds he just put up a few weeks ago. Joel's finger moves against the worn trackpad, opening up the DVD rom to pop in the movie he rented from blockbuster on his drive home from dropping off Sarah.
Joel reads the cover while it loads to open. His favorite actress being the main character got him all excited and may have been the only reason he rented it to begin with. It definitely wasn’t because she was playing a vampire in a latex bodysuit.
About halfway through the movie and many scenes later of this character being an absolute badass, Joel could feel the growing tension in his jeans. Wanting to take care of the problem to finish the movie he'd grown invested in, he pauses it and opens up a web browser and goes to his tried and true adult website. The amount of pop up ads always annoyed him, he just wanted to find something to watch and keep it moving.
Until tonight.
A banner flashes right above the search bar filled with his previous endeavors, the colors immediately catching his eyes.
“What the hell is this?” He mutters to himself as he watches the words change.
A number pops up with tiny images of girls in the corner of the banner. Feeling adventurous, he digs out his phone from his pocket and dials the number before it changes to a new ad.
He’s met with an automated message, overly seductive and giving him the rundown of what he’s getting himself into. His finger hovers over the pound button to confirm he was consenting to this, that he was willing to continue. The line beeps a few times before a new message starts to play.
”Press one if you want to meet me, the girl next door.”
The voice changes to a new girl, “press two if you want to fix my leaky pipes.”
Another different voice, “press three if you want to punish me for not turning in my college essay.”
”Press four to meet me and my best friend, Layla.”
”Hit five if you wanna romp in the hay with me, yeehaw!”
Joel snickers at the generic attempt at a southern accent.
“Call me into your office by pressing six!”
Joel could hardly contain himself at all the options he was given, and he had three more he’d yet to hear.
“Select seven to meet me, Vixen the d-“
Before the voice finished speaking, his finger pushed a button and he wasn’t sure which one he chose. Frankly, he was excited for any of them.
Your line was ringing and it wasn’t too often it did, no one usually got past Katie and Layla.
Picking up the phone, you smile when you hear the southern drawl in his words.
“Have you been a bad boy today?” You almost whisper into the phone before he responds.
“Y-yes, I have, darlin.” His tone was a little confused, unsure of what he just answered.
You grin and sit up straighter.
“Well, good thing I’m in the mood to punish you.”
Joel’s eyes widen and he doesn’t know what to say. This wasn’t the number he meant to push. He wasn’t really the type of man to want to be told what to do.
From anyone.
“Darlin’ can you tell me which button I pushed by chance?”
He was trying to be as polite as he could and you were going to have some fun with this.
“You pushed seven and here I am; Vixen the Dom.” Smirking at the quiet line, you wonder for a split second if he hung up.
“I-I’m sorry…dom? I don’t know if this is really something I’m into. I mean, that’s great if you’re someone who can but that doesn’t sound like me.”
“I get it. You can’t let go of that control, scared to see a new side to yourself. I understand. If you want to hang up and redial I understand.”
Joel hesitates hanging up and he glides his tongue over his bottom lip.
“What exactly…would I be getting myself into with you, Vixen?”
What a curious man.
“You’d give me control, no backtalk, no resisting, you submit to me. There’s a safeword we can use at any point if it gets to be too much for you. At that point I’d stop and we can calm down, just talk. I never get mad at someone using a safe word.”
“A-and what’s the safe word?” The temptation in his voice shows you he’s interested.
“Hopscotch.”
His chuckle rings through your ear and makes your face warm, giggling at his reaction.
“So, you’ve stayed here this long and I can tell you’re curious. Are you going to let me take control of you, I didn’t get your name” You state, trying to guess before he answers.
“Joel. Names Joel. It’s a pleasure to spend the night with you tonight, Vixen.”
The respect he was giving already showed you how natural it came to him, he was this way in his day to day life.
“You’re going to be my good boy tonight, Joel?”
“Y-yes” he hesitantly responds.
“Yes, ma’am. Repeat it.” Goosebumps raise on your arms and the excitement shakes your core
“Yes ma’am.”
“I’m going to tell you what to think, what to say, I’m going to do everything I want to you until you’re begging me to let you come.” You bite your lip and smirk, your body excited for this phone call.
“I want you to close your eyes and I want you to grab your bulge and rub it, slowly for me,” You say sternly but seductively, propping your legs up so your knees are bent, freehand resting on your abdomen.
You can hear his belt jingle and some shuffling from the other end of the phone, causing you to smirk. He doesn’t get it, it’s new for him. It was painfully obvious but you decided to take it slow for his first time.
“I didn’t say to undo your belt and ditch your pants, did I? I said rub your bulge, just rub it.”
“Y-yes ma’am.” His breath was shaky from anticipation and nerves, it was cute. He has no idea what he’s getting himself into with you.
“Tell me how good it feels, baby. Tell me what you want,” you tease, your fingers dancing above your panty line.
“I wish you were here right now. Tell me to lay on my back while you get on top and ride my face until I'm begging for air. I want you to use me until you come all over my face and make me clean you up before you ride my big dick. Use me, Ms. Vixen, p-please.” Joel’s whimpers make you feel that boiling heat in your stomach before you feel your panties get wet, for a half second he takes your breath away.
“Ms.Vixen? Hm, you’re learning quickly I see. Reach in your pants and take your cock out for me, get it nice and wet. I want to hear how needy you are for me.”
You hear his belt unbuckle followed by the soft sound of him spitting into his hand, married with a groan of pleasure.
“Now, you want to be my good boy tonight, right?” You ask and dip your hand inside your panties, softly teasing yourself. This was so unlike you, normally you didn’t want to touch yourself during a call. He was different.
”You aren’t going to come until I tell you, alright? Think you can handle that, baby?”
“I can handle that, yes ma’am.”
Hearing the wet sounds from him jerking his cock off makes you grin and a moan almost slips out but you catch yourself and give a small giggle.
”It’s cute the way you fuck your hand and pretend its my pussy, big grown man just aching to be put in his place. I want to watch your face when I slip your cock inside me, baby. I’ll keep a fistful of your hair so you keep your eyes on me, let me watch you go to another planet when you realize how deep you are.”
Joel moans loudly and he can’t catch his breath as he imagines how good it would feel inside you and to be used by you.
“Y-yes please, Vixen. Ride my cock and make yourself feel good, I can be whatever you want me to be.”
You circle your clit faster as your legs tremble, your moans swirling together to sound like a beautiful harmony.
“I can ride you and wrap my hand around your throat while I put my panties in your mouth to keep you quiet, wouldn’t want anyone to hear those pretty whimpers, now would we?”
“Can-can you tell me what your panties look like, darlin’? Please.” Joel stutters out and moans just thinking about it.
Biting your lip, you hold the handset closer to your mouth as you continue fingering your soaked cunt with your other hand.
“They’re lace, black of course. With a little red bow right in front of the waistband. Sick little pervert you are. Makes my pussy so wet thinking about you trying to moan my name but I can’t understand you with them in your mouth. Even when you’re begging for more, begging to come I can’t hear you.”
Joel groans louder and all you can see in your head as your eyes are squeezed shut is how handsome he sounds Just the pretty whimpers he makes has you thinking how good looking he must be, how his dick is so slippery in his fist from all the precum and spit.
“I bet you’d lose your mind if I pinned your hands down and really took all control from you, wouldn’t you baby? You’d squirm and try to touch me but you can’t, not while I’m playing with you like a toy. You’re my toy, do you hear me? Mine. Say you’re mine while you jerk off.” Your breaths get shorter as you moan softly, finally letting him hear how turned on you are.
“I’m just your playtoy, Ms.Vixen. Onl-ly yours. I p-promise. Fuck it feels so good, shit.”
The silk sheets under your skin slide under you as you squirm, giving into him a little more with each beg he cries out. This feels like heaven and you can’t get enough of him. Part of you wanted to stop touching yourself to keep him on the phone longer, partially because you didn’t know if he’d ever call again.
“Let go of your pretty cock. Don’t touch it and listen to me.” You demand calmly and smirk when you hear him groan in annoyance.
“Is that an attitude I hear?” you ask condescendingly.
“No ma’am, no ma’am.” he quickly retorts. Good boy.
“I’ve got two fingers inside me right now but they just don’t compare to your cock I bet. You’d probably keep me up all night and let me turn you every which way but loose, hm? Think you could keep up with me, sweetheart? How about I cuff your hands to the bed and suck your cock until you can’t take it anymore and beg to paint my face with your cum.”
You can hear a slew of profanities and Joel groans almost in pain and he whines, “God dammit that’s so hot. Please let me jerk off, baby. It’s killing me not to touch myself while I think about stuffing you full of my dick. Your perfect body on mine, what a pleasure that would be. Please, may I touch myself?”
Clamping your legs closed so you don’t come yourself, you tell him to continue and soon once more your moans mix together.
“I-I need to come, Ms.Vixen. Please let me be a goodboy and come, p-please-oh fuckkk-”
“You want to come for me, baby boy? I’m going to have to think about whether you deserve it or not, sweetheart.”
“Let me show you how good you make me feel, I need you so bad. C’mon baby-oh shittt- please?”
Your breath hitches in your throat and you have this aching urge to hear him come and whimper in your ear. Hearing men be so whiny when they come was music to your ears.
“Go on then, show me the pretty sounds you make when you come, baby. Jerk that fuckin’ cock off while you think about me. Think about coming on my tits, these pretty fucking titties that would look even better with your cock between them. C’mon honey, come for me, right now. Be my favorite toy.”
That was all he needed to hear before he was groaning loudly into the phone, enough to make you cover your mouth and come with him. Couldn’t let him know how down bad he already had you.
Your ears were ringing slightly but you could still hear the shuffling from his end, probably cleaning himself up and the mess he made.
“You alright over there, big guy?” You ask, trying to calm your breathing.
“It was a lot, let’s just say I made a mess” he chuckles and sighs tiredly.
“How was that for your first time being a sub? I tried to take it slow for you.”
“That was uh, that was the best time I’ve had in a while. You really know what you’re doing, huh? I’d love to call you again, maybe your direct line next time?”
You shake your head and chuckle at him. Silly boy.
“I had a fun time tonight, Joel. Maybe if you call me again I’ll think about giving you my phone number.”
“Fair enough. Thank you, Vixen. It was a pleasure. Good night.”
“Good night, my good boy.”
The line goes silent and Joel puts his cellphone down on the couch cushion beside him, taking a deep breath as he circles back over everything he just did. Closing out of the tab and continuing his movie, he enjoyed it but Joel couldn’t stop thinking about you the rest of the night.
Even when he was in his bed trying to sleep, you consumed his brain and he needed more.
A lot more, but of course, only if you let him.
#joel miller smut#pedro pascal#joel miller x reader#joel miller#joel miller x you#the last of us#joel miller x f!reader#tw smut#sub!joel#dom!reader#dmamc 2025#joel miller tlou#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller fic#the last of us hbo#tlou joel#tlou hbo#joel tlou#pre outbreak!joel#*#my writing
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A/N : could not help myself okay I’m sorry
The afternoon breeze rustled through the trees, carrying the scent of summer grass and distant flowers. You sat cross-legged on the patio, your knees brushing against the edge of the lounge chair where Harry sprawled, head propped up on a cushion, a weathered orange book in hand.
"Charles Bukowski, huh?" you teased, craning your neck to get a better look at the title. "Isn't he a bit dark for a lazy afternoon or you know, for you ?" You said, with a teasing voice.
Harry’s green eyes peeked over the top of the book, a lazy smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. "It’s not all dark," he countered, flipping a page. "It’s poetry. It’s... raw." His voice dipped at the last word, as if tasting its edge.
"Raw," you repeated, mimicking his tone with a grin. "Look at you, the literary connoisseur."
"Oi, don’t mock me," he retorted, the book lowering enough for you to catch the light flush creeping up his neck. "Just because I don’t read your fluffy romance novels—"
"Excuse me!" you cut in, feigning offense. "Romance is a legitimate genre, thank you very much. And for the record, your taste in books is just as dramatic."
Harry chuckled, the sound deep and easy, like honey spilling from a jar. "You love my dramatic taste."
You didn’t argue, because it was true. Instead, you leaned back on your palms, tilting your head to the sky. The cobblestones beneath you were warm from the sun, and the distant chirp of birds filled the silence between your banter.
Out of the corner of your eye, you watched him. His face softened as he read, brow furrowing slightly with each line that seemed to strike him. His thumb absentmindedly stroked the edge of the page, the same thumb now painted a soft yellow that you’d insisted on doing last night. He’d let you, of course, laughing when you got a bit of polish on his knuckle.
“Do you want me to read you some?” he asked suddenly, breaking your reverie.
You turned your head, meeting his gaze. “Yeah,” you said softly. “I’d like that.”
Harry sat up a little, clearing his throat dramatically before starting. His voice, smooth and measured, carried the weight of Bukowski’s words effortlessly, transforming the poetry into something alive. You listened, entranced—not just by the poem, but by him. By the way he looked at you in between stanzas, as if gauging your reaction, as if each line mattered more because you were there to hear it.
When he finished, the world seemed quieter, like the poem had pressed pause on everything else. He closed the book with a satisfied sigh, looking at you with a raised eyebrow. “Well?”
“Very raw,” you teased, but your smile gave away how much you’d loved it.
He laughed, tossing the book onto the chair beside him. “You’re impossible.”
“And yet, here you are,” you shot back, crawling up onto the lounge chair with him. You nestled into his side, his arm wrapping around your shoulders as if it had always belonged there.
#harry styles writing#harry styles blurb#harry styles x reader#harry styles fic#harry styles x fem!reader#harry styles fanfic#harry styles fluff#harry styles imagine#harry styles fiction#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles#harry styles x you#harry styles x y/n#harry styles fic rec
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Updated my au's recap to add Tarkin and Krennic :)
And of course I updated The Science
[COMMISSIONS]
(also fixed Sabé's sexuality ! Thank you to the Sabé connoisseurs for letting me know she has a canonical boyfriend at one point ! xoxo)
Yapping below vvv
Welcome to me and my struggle with imperial military uniforms fjdkdkk they just so boring and often khaki-
For Tarkin I took inspiration from a Star Trek concept that I'm so mad isn't a thing in Star Wars... The dress uniform ! The classy, just for show, uncomfortable version of classic uniforms ! (Couldn't believe that wasn't already a thing in sw, but when I searched for it I stumbled upon a sub reddit called "the empire did nothing wrong" and sometimes self care is to not clic on the clearly far right corner of your fandom to look upon a shitty fan made alterations of imperial uniforms 🌸)
Also, I had to make a choice here... Do I make the empire more strict when it comes to gender norms and expectations i.e do I put Tarkin in a skirt gkkgkffn like, I already kinda did that with both Tarkin and Krennic keeping their hair long. But in canon imperial uniforms are unisex and the same for everyone, which is great to like know the imperial military (in universe at least) doesn't do sexism a lot.... But once again, the canon uniforms are a bit boring to draw, they don't have the more classy ones you would wear for special occasions and frankly if you want a side to show more gender inequality would you pick the mismatched rebels fighting for their rights and to overthrow the government, or the established force in power that is also incidentally an empire that took inspirations from a real far right party hmmmmm
Let's look at what I made different about the empire in my au, a) Palpatine is a woman, they have an empress but b) said empress force masced her apprentice and made *him* the figure head of her empire. When you think of the empire you don't picture an old woman in a bathrobe, you picture Vader, a tall muscular cyborg with no face a glowy sword and evil telekinesis.... That is gendered in the masculine (still a dyke tho, but random civilians wouldn't know that- they don't even know if he's human). Having a woman lead a fascist empire doesn't make it better- (in my country, France, the far right party has been lead by a woman for the last 20 years and that doesn't make it fucking better)
All this to say I put her in pants fjkdkd tested with a skirt but it felt too uncanny.
And I also made her stand in the worst position to draw (for me at least) : perfectly facing the camera with a stick up her ass and at parade rest so with her hands behind her back fjkddk I struggled so hard to make it look somewhat good, and I'm still not really satisfied- also Peter Cushing's face with a hat that covers his forehead looks very wrong to me fjfkk
But enough about Tarkin ! For Krennic I also modified the uniform :D (for a second time jfofk link to the first post with another version of her uniform), but hers isn't the fancy version, it's very much her work clothes ! Still trying to distinguish her from the classic military, since she is more of an engineer/architect, so she get heels, slutty white gloves and a dramatic cape coat. Also I loved putting her in a very strict outfit but making it a bit messy in small ways kgfkgj one side of it isn't zipped all the way down, and her hair is coming down from her hasty made bun :)))
PS : one must always picture the death star as the third member of this relationship <3
#this *should* be all of them#let's hope I don't have to edit this again in like 6 months fjfkdk#star wars sapphic au#wilhuff tarkin#grand moff tarkin#peter cushing#orson krennic#director krennic#tarkrennic#star wars original trilogy#star wars rogue one#star wars fanart#star wars#fanart#star wars imperials#toxic yuri#lesbian#art#my art#digital art#wlw
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Water... Connoisseur?// Neuvillette
synopsis: Neuvillette shares his love for water tasting with the Creator (ft. Paimon and the Traveler)
from aree: this was supposed to be a short funny little thing but as always i can’t keep my mouth shut and now this is 17 pages long
content: Creator!Reader; smol spoiler(?) for and inspired by Neuvillette's story quest and profile/voice over; Reader and the Traveler (and Paimon) have Siblings Energy; I headcanon that the Traveler can see their inventory the way us players can; Pure Crack; Probably OOC Neuvillette
fic length: ~5.3k
You are the Creator of Teyvat, spending time with the Traveler, Paimon, and Neuvillette. At one point, the Iudex offers for the four of you to take a break in his office and he'll fetch you some refreshments. Almost immediately, you see from the corner of your eye the Traveler and Paimon stutter out that they'll get the drinks themselves, but it's too late. You didn't see what was wrong with Neuvillette offering something to drink - if anything, you're curious to know what kind of drink he'd prepare for his guests. This was your first time tasting what Fontaine had to offer. So you let him go.
When Neuvillette leaves the room, the traveling duo beside you share a heavy sigh. You turn to them and ask what's wrong. They share a meaningful look. You'll see, they say.
Eventually, Neuvillette comes back rolling a small food trolley in front of him. On top are four silver pitchers and four goblets. Paimon sheepishly laughs, "Here we go."
You step forward - because it's clear to you Traveler and Paimon have no plans on taking initiative - and Neuvillette motions to the pitchers.
"Each one is from a different nation. I hope that you'll find at least one of them to your tastes, Your Grace. I assure you they are all of high quality, although I have no doubt of it since they are a part of your creation, after all. Personally, I can't say I favor one over the other. I find each one particularly special in its own way, so I must apologize if I cannot give you a recommendation."
You frown. You... made them? You don't remember something about creating a drink for each nation. Was this a recipe from your old life that only a dragon sovereign could remember? The Traveler clears their throat and mumbles something under their breath. You turn to them questioningly and you watch bemused as their mouth ticks up at the corners.
"It's water." The Traveler looks at everything in the room before their eyes land on you.
You blink. "Excuse me?"
"Haha.. It's just water... The drinks..." If Paimon was standing on solid ground, you think she would be bouncing on the balls of her feet, her arms behind her. When she meets your eyes, she lets out a sheepish laugh. "That's what Neuvillette means by they're from every nation. They're... spring water from different places."
You slowly look at the Traveler and Paimon in turn, hoping for a deeper explanation or for them to tell you they were pulling your leg, but both of them refuse to look you in the eye. Your mouth is opened to a permanent gasp of understanding as you turn back to the food trolley in front of you.
Oh...
"Is there something wrong, Your Grace?" You almost regret looking at Neuvillette. Although he doesn't usually show his emotions, it's almost like he can't help but show you how dejected he looks. To put it simply, it felt like you kicked an otter to the curb, sad puppy eyes and everything. You half expect it to start raining outside that instant. "I can arrange for the Melusine to make something else, if you'd like. I'm sure they'd be honored to -"
"NO! No. It's okay. It's fine, Neuvillette. Thank you for the offer, but it's fine." You shoot a frown at the duo, who have taken to plastering themselves on one of the many sofas in the room, intent on letting you handle the water situation. You breathe in and take a step forward, taking one of the goblets. "You said each one is special, right? I'm sure they'll taste... nice..."
You pointedly ignore the Traveler as they grumble once more (you pretend you didn't just hear Paimon say "no it won't"). You look at each of the pitchers and pretend to be thinking hard about your choice. It's kind of hard to make a choice now that you know they're all just water. Your only saving grace is you know where they came from.
"I think I'll start off with... Sumeru!" Neuvillette all but beams at your decision and picks up the selected pitcher. You're glad he did because you didn't know which was which. You pray to Nahida that you didn't make a bad choice (the God of Wisdom has yet to fail you since your descent and you hope that she has your back this time, too.) Holding out your goblet, you watch as Neuvillette fills the cup half way, almost hoping there's a telltale sign of a difference (or it's a different drink altogether).
It's just water.
"A wonderful choice, Your Grace. This particular water comes from Apam Woods of Sumeru. You'll find the taste to be rich and complex. Despite usually having to take the time to savor it to fully appreciate it, I'm sure Your Grace will have no problem distinguishing its special flavor, which is unlike any other."
Did he have to put the pressure on you like that?
You laugh sheepishly as you fight to give Neuvillette your best thankful smile. Taking back the goblet, you stare at your drink, deciding your best bet was to examine it if you were going to "savor" it. Maybe it was a different color? No, it's still translucent in nature. Swirling it a few times, it doesn't appear to have a thicker viscosity as it sloshes around your cup. As for the smell it was-
Wait. Huh?
"It's fragrant," you mumble. Only when you hear yourself clearly do you realize the room is silent. Looking up, you see Neuvillette staring at you, and behind you, even the Traveler and Paimon have taken an interest in your exchange. All eyes are trained on you, watching your reaction. You look back to Neuvillette as he lets out a hum.
"It's... fragrant? I must say, even I have never thought to discern its smell. For a moment, please," Neuvillette steps forward and takes a goblet for himself, pouring water from the same pitcher. He pulls the goblet up to his nose. "Hmm. As I thought. It seems I am unable to smell this fragrance you speak of. How interesting."
"Wait. If you can smell it..." You turn to Paimon as she looks at the Traveler. When they look at you, their eyes are expectant.
Surely, you can...?
Looking at Neuvillette, he gives you an encouraging nod. You raise the goblet to your lips and take a tentative sip. And then another. And then... another? You lower the goblet, and then turn to the Traveler.
"It tastes like flowers." You know you and the Traveler share the same incredulous look. You can just feel the disbelief and confusion pulling at your face. Looking at Paimon, she's just as confused, head in her little hands. "When I focus on it, it's floral. Kind of like... tea? Like herbal tea, just less strong. It could even be perfume."
"Marvelous," you look at Neuvillette, and it's clear to you he does not sense the growing bewilderment you and the other two are going through. He smiles at you softly, and you don't have the heart to tell him that water isn't supposed to have a flavor. "I don't seem to recall anyone else sharing my taste for water. But I must say - even I am unable to perfectly put a name or a description to the flavor I experience. It's almost always a feeling."
"WAIT! Waitwaitwaitwait! I wanna try, too!" Paimon rushes to your side and takes your goblet in her hands, ready to drink it. You hear Neuvillette clear his throat and turn to him as he fills the other two goblets with Sumeru water. Paimon lets go of your goblet and goes to take one for herself. You see the Traveller stand up and grab one too. "Is it different from the one we had before? Wait, but it's from the Apam Woods, too..."
The Traveler and Paimon take a big gulp at the same time, licking their lips and savoring the taste before eventually they click their tongues in unison.
"Nope." The Traveler laughs, almost amused and defeated at the same time.
"Nothing's different. It's the same water as last time!" Paimon stomps her little feet in the air. "Are you pulling Paimon's leg?"
"Of course not. However, I am curious. If it is fine with Your Grace, I would love to hear more about what you can taste," If you were honest, you didn't want any more of the spotlight on you - being the Creator, you've had enough of that. But Neuvillette seemed so happy in the moment you couldn't possibly refuse him.
"Well, besides smelling and tasting like flowers," you take a sip, letting it roll on your tongue. "It also has this sort of herby aftertaste? But only when I focus on it. Kind of like basils? Or rosemary? I can't tell you for sure what kind, but it kind of tastes like that."
When you turn back to them, you're surprised to see Neuvillette looking at you in confusion. Did you say something wrong?
"He doesn't know what those are, dummy," The Traveler sighs. You watch as they take a metal shaker out from their inventory and start preparing a drink of their own. Paimon watches on, excited of drinking something that wasn't just water. "They don't have those here in Teyvat, remember?"
"Traveler, I implore you to watch your words. Was it necessary to call Your Grace as such?" Neuvillette frowns.
The Traveler shrugs and you both share a secretive smile. "They prefer that over 'Your Grace', though."
Neuvillette turns to you with concern. "Is-is that true, Your Grace? Why would you prefer that name? I can't quite say I agree with that decision but- "
"It's fine, Neuvillette. I forgot you didn't know any of those herbs, so I'm sorry for that. Just know the water tastes like it has a bit of herbs or spice to it." You shake your head with a laugh, thinking of a way to change the subject. "Anyway, can I taste the other ones?"
Neuvillette almost visibly lights up at that and takes another of the pitchers, filling your emptied goblet with more water.
"This one is from Inazuma's Konda Village. For its mouthfeel, I find it quite placid." Neuvillette looks at you expectantly. You're reminded again of a puppy, or in his case, an otter. A very cute otter. As you put the goblet to your lips, you have half a mind to gift him a seashell.
You take a sip and almost immediately spit it out. In an instant, Neuvillette is by your side, throwing the goblet halfway across the room. Before you realize it, you're in his arms and he has half a mind to bolt out the room to get you to a healer until you stop him.
"WAIT! Wait, Neuvi, just calm down-" you descend into a coughing fit.
"Your Grace! What's wrong? Is it poison? Were you poisoned?! Oh no, Paimon can't look-"
"That's preposterous. I prepared the drinks myself," he says that, but Neuvillette talks like he's suddenly doubting himself.
"You sure you don't need to get healed?" the Traveler frowns in concern, turning your face this way and that, looking for signs of poisoning.
You shake your head again and swallow down another cough, clearing your throat. "No, no, I don't need a healer. I wasn't poisoned. I just wasn't expecting to suddenly take a shot of sparkling water."
The Traveler blinks, there's a pause as it sinks in, and suddenly they stand up and head back to the food trolley. They pick up the shaker they unceremoniously left when everyone panicked and resumed making their drink.
"Traveler, are you gonna make medicine for the Creator?" Paimon floats around you in concern.
"You guys can stop panicking. They're not gonna die," the Traveler sighs and looks at you with a face that can only be described as 'Are you for reals.' "I think they were just surprised with how the water tasted."
You motion for Neuvillette to let you down, which he does albeit very hesitantly. You merely laugh at the concern on his face and give him a pat on the back to reassure him that no, the Creator was not going to die on his watch just because of a bad drink of water.
The Iudex frowns hard looking at the pitcher of Inazuman water. "You called it... sparkling water? Pardon me if I'm wrong, but am I to assume water from Inazuma has different visual properties? Does Your Grace see something we are unable to? And if so, does this difference have an effect on the taste?"
You shake your head again for what seemed like the thousandth time, before you stop and think about it for a second. You head to the food trolley and pick up Paimon's empty cup. Pouring Inazuman water from the pitcher, you watch as normal looking water fills the goblet. The normal fizzle of bubbles you expect from a carbonated drink is not present, even as you swirl it around.
Before Neuvillette can stop you, you take a sip of it again. You hear him stifle a gasp. His hand is on your shoulder, ready to bring you to Sigewinne at record speed if needed. But you weren't mistaken - it really does taste like sparkling water. Weird. You turn to Neuvillette and try to look as reassuring as possible.
"So, back from... where I came from, we have this drink called sparkling water. It's not that it was particularly, uh, sparkly, but it did have a lot of bubbles. The water from Inazuma here looks like regular water, but it does feel like sparkling water in your mouth," you explain slowly. The look of doubt doesn't leave Neuvillete's face. "It's also not deadly for us, just like how this water isn't. I mean, you like drinking it, right? That means it's fine for consumption."
He visibly eases up at your words. He reluctantly lets go of your shoulder with a shaky exhale. You kinda feel bad for making him so worried. Eventually, you watch as he calms down from the panic earlier and suddenly he's back to his stoic self, unable to resist his interest in your water tasting experience.
"So this so-called sparkling water... what does it feel like? May you explain? I'm afraid I cannot quite imagine it." Neuvillette looks to be deep in thought and you laugh softly. He really was into water tasting.
"Oh? Paimon thinks Mondstadt has something similar."
The Traveler pauses from taking a sip of their new drink - Boreal Watch, you remember it's called - before opening their inventory. They scroll through a list of ingredients before taking out a single bottle. The bubbling liquid is a familiar sight. "They call it Fizzy Water. I used it to make drinks at Angel's Share once. Feel free to drink this, Monsieur Neuvillette. Master Diluc gave it as a freebie."
Neuvillette takes the bottle with a nod of thanks. He examines the packaging for a moment, pops the bottle open and takes a swig. There's a pregnant pause before he turns his back to you, takes his goblet and spits out the drink into it out of your line of sight. The three of you don't have to look at each other to know the expression the others have; Paimon sounds like she's close to tears from holding in her laughter.
When Neuvillette turns to you again, you give him a small smile, ready to comfort him, before he drops to his knee in front of you. You try to pull him up by his arms but he just holds on to your hands.
"Your Grace, please allow me to apologize for making you go through that."
"H-hey, I didn't mind you literally spitting it out, come on now, I basically did the same thing if not worse-"
"No. Not that, Your Grace. I also apologize for that, yes, but I refused to swallow that drink down no matter the cost." He's staring at you dead in the eyes and he looked so serious it was unnerving. "I'm apologizing for letting you drink the water from Inazuma. Had I known that is what you would experience, I would have skipped offering it to you as a refreshment."
"Please stand up. Don't worry about it. It's not that big of a deal," you pull on his arms again and he doesn't resist, standing back up. "I told you it's a normal drink from where I'm from, right? I was just shocked because I wasn't expecting it."
"Do you mean..." Neuvillette visibly cringes, much to your amusement. "People from your old land... like? To drink it? How... eccentric."
"So do those from Mondstadt, Monsieur Neuvillette," you turn to the Traveler in disbelief that they'd say that right now, but all they give you back is a devious grin peeking from atop their cup as they take another sip. "Dawning Dew was a bestseller."
Paimon clears her throat as she collects herself. "It's kind of funny that Neuvillette can't feel the fizziness when he's drinking? He said that he can feel what he drinks, not taste it. Paimon wonders what's up with that."
"What's Konda Village water like for you, again?" you hum.
"If I had to put a word to it," Neuvillette thought about it for a second. "Placid."
"Placid? That's one way to describe something." Paimon shrugs.
"Yes, that was how I would have described it," Neuvillette shoots a glare at the bottle of Fizzy Water and another concerned look at you. "After current events, I can't quite say the same."
Paimon was right, though. Placid was definitely a different way of describing things. Placid meant... calm? Or tranquil? You definitely didn't think that's how you'd describe Inazuma. Wait, Inazuma? And that feeling of sparkling water...
"Is it possible... You think it's 'placid'... because your mouth has gone numb?" you gape at Neuvillette.
He stares back at you blankly. The silence in the room is deafening.
“Maybe… don’t drink that for a while. Not until you’re ready again,” you offer.
“Agreed.” Neuvillette nods stiffly.
“Alright!” you clap your hands and turn back to the food trolley. “What’s next?”
To your surprise, Neuvillette’s hand wraps around your wrist as you manage to grasp the next pitcher's handle. He looks just as surprised as you do that he’s holding on to you.
“Neuvi…llette?” you blink at him.
“Forgive me, Your Grace,” he lets go like he was burned, but he doesn’t exactly move away. “But we can stop here if you so wish.”
“What do you mean?”
“What I mean to say is,” Neuvillette coughs into his fist, thinking hard about his next words. “Although I wish to learn more about the different tastes Your Grace can experience, I must admit I am unable to guide you nor accompany you in your journey, per say. Should there be something wrong with the following water samples, I can only watch and listen like the others, but not help until much later.”
You nod slowly.
“It means he’s concerned, dummy,” a voice calls out from behind you and you roll your eyes.
“Yeah, I kind of got that, thanks for the heads up,” you groan.
“If I am honest,” Neuvillette’s voice is soft, you’d even be confident to say it’s like he only wants you to hear. “I feel like a scientist watching my latest test subject. Fascinated, and yet should a problem arise, useless.”
“Hey, don’t say that,” you frown at him, but the expression easily slides off your face when he faces you (damn those sad otter eyes). Eventually, you offer him a soft smile. “If I really considered this as life threatening as you think, I would have stopped after the first pitcher. But I’m genuinely having fun, alright? So don’t worry too much about it.”
He doesn’t look quite convinced. You have been telling him to calm down a lot this entire time. When he opens his mouth to dissuade you, you beat him to it.
“I should thank you, you know.”
“Excuse me?” Neuvillette gapes at you. “I almost rushed you to a healer just a moment ago, Your Grace. I have done nothing to earn your gratitude.”
“That’s the thing, though, thank you for taking care of me this entire time, Neuvillette. You’ve been looking out for me every time we’re together, so thank you,” without thinking it over, you close the distance between you two and hug him. When you pull away, he’s intent on not looking you in the eye. “Thank you also for introducing me to water tasting. Never thought the day would come but here we are. It really is quite fun.”
“I see…” Neuvillette says, before abruptly turning around, giving you a clear view of his reddened ears. “Pardon me for a moment, Your Grace. I just… need to recollect for a moment.”
Before you can say anything else, he leaves your side and goes to get your goblet he threw earlier in a panic. He kneels down and picks it up, but instead of heading back towards you, he just sort of holds it, turning it around in his hand mindlessly. You watch, jaw slightly open, until you feel a presence behind you.
“I think you broke him.”
You turn to the Traveler with concern. “Yeah I think so, too, should I be worried?”
You both turn to Neuvillette, seeing he’s still busy with his goblet, before looking back to each other.
“I bet 500 mora he’ll go back to normal if you make yourself another drink.”
“It’s not really a bet if we agree on the same thing, though?”
You clear your throat, hoping to catch Neuvillette’s attention as you turn to Paimon. “Paimon, mind if I borrow your cup for now? We can share if you need it.”
“No, that’s okay. Paimon’s had enough of water. Paimon will share with the Traveler!” Almost on cue, the Traveler offers their drink to Paimon.
The moment you lift the next pitcher, Neuvillette is by your side in an instant, your goblet and his safely set aside for washing later. “May I do the honors, Your Grace?”
You offer your goblet as he holds up the pitcher. He pauses.
“Promise me we’ll stop if things get… awry.”
You smile. “You said it yourself, right? This is water prepared by the Iudex himself and made by the Creator themselves. I don’t doubt for a second that it’s not safe.”
Neuvillette shares your smile softly before pouring the water into your goblet. Third time’s the charm, right? You take a sip and… raise an eyebrow.
“It’s salty. Huh.” you take another sip. “Sort of metallic, too. That’s pretty close to the same thing but, yeah, I’d say it’s rather salty.”
“Salty? That’s quite strange.” Neuvillette double checks that he’s holding the right pitcher. “This water is from Liyue, particularly from Qingce Village. I know of the water from Liyue to have an enduring aftertaste, but I must say I was not expecting it to be salty.”
“Me, too; for Liyue I was kind of expecting it to have an earthy kind of taste. Whatever that tastes like, I don’t know, but I was ready for anything besides this,” you take another sip. “Can’t say it’s all that bad, though. I feel like I’m at a beach.”
“Only if you’re actively drinking the sea water.”
You don’t even bother looking behind you. “I said it ‘felt’ like. I didn’t say ‘taste’ like. Get your facts straight.”
Looking up at Neuvillette, you realize he’s only watching your reactions. He smiles softly when he finds your attention on him. Not wanting to be the only one “enjoying” the drink, you offer your goblet to him. He looks at you, slightly alarmed, but when you make no move to take the goblet back, he reluctantly takes it. He turns away from you as he drinks.
You hear the Traveler clear their throat behind you. When you go to look, their eyebrows are raised at you. They look to Neuvillette and then to you before scoffing. Oh… was it that intimate an action?
“A-anyway,” you clear your throat as Neuvillette hands the goblet back to you. There’s a small pleased smile on his face. “What do you think of when you drink water from Liyue?”
“For me,” Neuvillette closes his eyes for a few seconds, careful of what to say next. “I always thought it had a poignant touch to it.”
“Poignant?” What did you think of when you thought of poignant? Swirling the water around your cup, you recall a story quest. Liyue, salt, and water are key factors in its plot. A sad smile overtakes your features. “Ah. Yes, I guess poignant would be a good word for that. Salty is the right word, too.”
Neuvillette tilts his head to the side at your sudden change in demeanor. “Your Grace?”
“It’s nothing. Just thought I’d visit an old friend sometime.” you tilt your head back as you down the rest of the cup. “Anyways, I think I need something else to wash that off.”
“Ah, yes. I suppose that does come with consuming salty foods.” Neuvillette nods. “Would you like a different drink? Something aside from water, I mean.”
“Actually, water is good for washing off salt, so I thought I’d ask for more water.”
He holds up the last silver pitcher. “We have Mondstadt left, if you would like to give it a try right now.”
“How would you describe it?” you ask, but you’re already holding out your goblet.
“This particular batch is from Cider Lake.” Neuvillette fills your goblet a little more than usual, most likely to fully cleanse the salt from your palate. “Besides having a crisp and clear feel, I also find that it warms the heart.”
“Oh, wow, guess Venti’s got it nice going for him,” you lift the goblet to your lips and drink.
“I’d be bold enough to say it’s the only thing nice going for him.”
You almost spit out your drink for the second time this day. You turn to look at the Traveler, but they’re busy having a debate with Paimon. That means that the person who said that was-
Neuvillette takes the goblet from your hands and drinks. When you look at him, jaw hanging open still from disbelief, you watch as the corners of his mouth tick up.
“Are you allowed to say that?” you whisper. The Traveler and Paimon don’t seem to have heard, but you sure as hell did.
“I just did, did I not?” He offers a small smile that borders on innocent if it wasn’t so conspiratorial. “I have faith that the Creator will not spread rumors about me, I hope.”
You don’t know if you’d still call it a rumor when he so blatantly did it in front of you, but you end up laughing. You put both hands up as a show of surrender. No way in hell were you telling on the dragon sovereign of Fontaine.
“So, as for our final drink,” Neuvillette offers the goblet back. “What do you make of water from Mondstadt?”
You make a show of finishing the cup all in one go. “Out of all the ones we tasted, I think this has got to be my favorite so far.”
“Oh? Is it that good?” Neuvillette watches you keenly, awaiting for more details.
“Yep. It tastes like water.”
Neuvillette chuckles softly, but when you simply offer him a smile, his smile drops. “You… are not joking?”
“Nah. It’s exactly as you say - it’s crisp and clean. It’s how water tasted like back from my world,” you hum in delight. “It doesn’t remind me of anything else but the pure taste of water. Can’t put my finger on whether it’s distilled, mineral, or tap water, all I know is that it’s water for me.”
“Hmm. Although I want to say it’s rather an anticlimactic ending, I can’t say so. I leave today with the knowledge that there is still a water sample we can similarly taste.” Neuvillette smiles to himself once more. “But that’s enough of that. I believe I’ve put you through enough for today, Your Grace. Thank you for entertaining me and my hobbies.”
“I had fun! Make sure to call me next time you get a new sample, I’d love to have a taste.” You beam at him.
Neuvillette stares at you for a moment - was he waiting for you to tell him it was just a joke? Sure seemed like it - before his smile was back, relieved. You can almost see his little otter tail waving around. “Of course. I already look forward to it.”
“Are you done now?”
You take a step back as Paimon suddenly steps into the middle. Her little frown does little to make you feel bad. If anything, it has the opposite effect and you laugh. Her frown deepens at you as you rub her little head.
“Yeah, yeah, we’re done. We can get a meal now.”
“Woohoo! We're getting meals, plural. Where are we going to eat? Paimon wants some Fontainian Foie Gras!” you follow the fairy as she heads out the door, excited for the prospect of food. And then you pause as you remember.
“Ah, wait. Before we leave. Just one more thing.”
You head back to the food trolley and grab Paimon’s goblet. You make a beeline for a corner in Neuvillette’s office. You noticed earlier there was a small drinking fountain. Gathering enough water into your cup, you take a sip. You turn to Neuvillette.
“Oh my gosh, it’s sweet.”
==✿==|✧••❀••✧|==✿==
❀BONUS❀
The Traveler and Paimon share an exasperated sigh for what seemed like the hundredth time in the past week. Ever since the water tasting incident, the Creator and Neuvillette have taken to going around Teyvat, trying out different waters straight from the spring of each nation.
"Why do we have to visit each nation? Paimon thought you could just have them delivered straight to your office!" Paimon leans on the Traveler's head, tired from floating around so much.
"Appreciating the nation from which the drink came from is part of the experience, Paimon." Neuvillette swirls the water in his goblet, offering it to the floating fairy, who only takes a look at it before cringing away.
The Traveler and Paimon share another look. They know he just likes the opportunity to bond with the Creator over their appreciation of water.
"Are we going back home after this?" Paimon groans.
"I can make you some Sticky Honey Roast if you guide us to Snezhnaya?" You take another sip from your goblet, one made from pure magical ore.
("Your Grace deserves only the finest things, even if it's only dinnerware and the likes," said Neuvillette. "I may also add that a traveling merchant said that drinking from a crystal goblet highlights the taste of the refreshment, as it is free from the taste of metal usually found in a standard cup." You don't mention that you notice he has a matching goblet, right next to a pile of books on his desk. Embedded on it is a familiar seashell.)
In an instant, Paimon is by your side, eyes glittering with determination. "If you cook three Sticky Honey Roasts for Paimon, Paimon can take you to Kh'aenriah."
You lower your goblet and hold out a hand. "Two. And I'll throw in a Squirrel Fish if you find a lake where we can drink from."
"Deal." Paimon takes your hand and you shake on it.
The Traveller flops to the ground and sighs.
They knew they were going to be the one to look for that lake.
✨ Masterlist ✨
Taglist: 💛@wonpielle 💜@shikanosn
Disclaimer: Characters are not mine and belong to their respective creators. Their portrayal is merely my own interpretation of them and may not be accurate to their intended characterization. I stake no claim to the original works, only to the ideas and plot of the fictitious stories I’ve written them into.
#genshin impact sagau#genshin impact sagau neuvillette#genshin impact neuvillette x reader#neuvillette x reader#self aware genshin au#sagau#genshin impact x reader#sagau neuvillette#genshin impact reader insert
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hai!!! how are you doing? i saw ur doing requests again soon... and i wanted to request a tbb something ^^
how would they react to their s/o like. BITING THEM. not full on CHOMP! duh. but a little soft nibble anywhere(jaw, cheek, neck, hand, nose, YOU GET THE POINT)... like the same way you would bite when giving a hickey or biting an earlobe. cuz holy moly i need to bite the FLIP out of these guys.
thank you and i hope you're doing well :D
Aloha! Interesting Question 😁
The Bad Batch x Reader HCs - That Little Bite
Warnings: Mostly Fluff/ Partly Suggestive
Masterlist
Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)
Hunter
If you suddenly nibble his ear while he is cuddling, you will certainly not hear any complaints from him. In fact, it doesn't matter where you're gently nibbling, you'll hear Hunter humming contentedly. The next moment, you have at least one of his arms wrapped around you and are pressed close to his body.
He's crazy about your every touch anyway, and the more sensual and closer, the better. Small bites and nibbles are actually a good way to get his motor running if you're in the mood for more.
In any case, Hunter is a big fan and not shy when it comes to returning the gesture.
Echo
At first, he may be perplexed and keep completely still. Echo is trying to make sense of what is happening, but shortly afterwards you hear a soft laugh coming from his mouth.
“Am I that appetizing?” he teases you.
An approving coo from you and more small, gentle bites make him melt away. Whatever jokes may have occurred to him a moment ago are quickly gone again.
Don't be surprised if he sighs and shivers under your teasing touches, he enjoys every second.
Wrecker
He giggles, surprised, perhaps a little startled at first, but quite taken with the very sensual touch.
“Didn't you get enough to eat today?” he asks you teasingly.
Cling to him and keep nibbling, the jokes will soon be forgotten. His strong arms will pull you closer to him and a little later you will hear pleasurable sounds coming from his mouth.
As he gives in, he says softly, “Go ahead, make me your feast”
Tech
Your gentle nibble triggers a very abrupt, unexpected reaction. Tech jumps up and stares at you with wide eyes from behind his lenses.
“What's wrong?” you ask gently.
Tech clears his throat, pushes his goggles up the bridge of his nose with his index finger and seems to collect himself before answering in his trademark matter-of-fact tone.
“I'm confused. At the moment, I'm trying to categorize your actions on my body, which are new to me. Are these touches of an erotic nature? Do you just want to cuddle? Or should I perhaps be worried about a previously hidden tendency towards cannibalism?”
Disguising and suppressing the impulse to laugh with a cough, you finally answer, “Well, I'd say the first two options are true to a certain extent”
A small sigh of relief crosses his lips, then a smile twitches at the corners of his mouth before he lies back down with you and says, “I'm not averse to that. Go on if you like”
Crosshair
You hear a coo coming from his throat, a satisfied grin on his face. Crosshair is a connoisseur, especially when it comes to physical contact between the two of you. You certainly won't hear any complaints from him.
He lolls around like a cat, snuggled up to you, his long fingers trailing under the fabric of your clothes. Physical contact between you is like a balm for him.
But he doesn't just take, he's also only too happy to give. Don't be surprised if you suddenly find yourself lying under him, his teeth gently grazing your neck or nibbling teasingly on your earlobe. Basically, he's interested in just about every sensual touch in your relationship.
Don't hold back, you won't regret it.
Little Bonus
Gregor
He giggles his adorable giggle.
“Pretty daring today, I like that,” he says, quite taken with it.
Expect him to want a nibble too and very likely to leave a tender mark or two. Gregor is sensual and playful. Such moments often end in you rolling around in the sheets.
But it doesn't necessarily have to end like that, Gregor is also a cuddly bear and his strong arms are a great place to rest and recharge your batteries.
@rintheemolion
@andyoufollowyourheart @clone-whore-99
@brynhildrmimi @kaliel2310
@misogirl828 @tech-deck
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@ortizshinkaroff
@andy-solo1
@hunterssecretrecipe
@heyitsaloy
@greaser-wolf
@extrahotpixels
@hated-by-me
@hunterxcrosshair
@malicemercy
@bebopsworld
@echos-girlfriend
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@ivyyyyy
#star wars#tbb#the bad batch#clone force 99#sw tbb#tech#tbb tech#crosshair#bad batch tech#hunter#wrecker#echo#gregor#bad batch echo#echo x reader#hunter x reader#tech x reader#wrecker x reader#gregor x reader#crosshair x reader#bad batch#bad batch crosshair#bad batch hunter#bad batch wrecker#bad batch x reader#crosshair the bad batch#sw the bad batch#star wars bad batch#tech the bad batch#star wars the bad batch
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So. As something of a connoisseur of depictions of the 7 Deadly Sins in media, I was just mulling over FMAB and thought, “I don’t know if anyone as crossed this over with OM before, but that would actually be kinda fire though.”
Like, imagine each of the brothers with the destructive powers of their respective Homunculi.
~♡♡♡~
Lucifer coming off as the most normal at first, until MC catches how his shadow bends and curves to avoid harsh light. They swear they sometimes hear him chuckling in the dark corners of the House, but they never actually find him anything there when they check. Red eyes reveal themselves in unlit rooms and follow them through the halls, all the while they keep wondering how he always seems to know where they are whenever he's away…
Mammon hardening his skin to be tougher than diamond, then using it to reinforce his claws and smoothly cut a perfect circle into glass display case. Him letting himself get punched when things don’t matter, but instantly hardening his cheek to break the assailant's hand whenever he starts getting serious. Or literally using his body to protect MC from harm as their first man and loyal shield.
Leviathan having a MASSIVE aquatic beast form that he shoves into a normal sized body, making him feel even more distant to others. Using transformations to regularly make himself look like his favorite anime characters/idols since he can’t stand the thought of looking at his true form. Yet, he still has that conservation of mass going, so he can simultaneously look like a 12 year-old girl and kick a car down the street like a soccerball.
Satan using his gifted sight to become an absolute force of nature. Not just a mere brute, but a sophisticated and effective killing machine with the wit and reflexes to mow down entire armies before breaking a sweat. Never blinded by fury, but harnessing his rage behind every inescapable strike. Him silently vowing that any threat to MC or his family will barely get to finish a thought before he's cut them down with precision and grace.
Asmodeus mostly using his extending nails for glorious manicures, but not being afraid to pierce the heart or lungs of anyone he doesn’t much like. He hears an incubus talking shit from a few tables down and stabs a hole through the jerk's skull while never looking away from his milkshake. His fights with Mammon getting 1000 times more destructive as his razor sharp claws bounce off his brother's skin and dig into the walls and furniture. The only thing he hates about them are how long it takes to scrub the blood off his nails afterwards.
*silently contemplates the possibility of Beel ripping himself in half to reveal a nightmarish second “stomach” capable of sucking anything into a blood-filled pocket dimension of which there is no light, hope, or escape* … Okay, moving on.
And of course, for those unaware FMAB Sloth could run at like the speed of sound which was threatening because he was also a behemoth. However, Belphie probably weights 125 pounds when wet, so… I admittedly get a giggle at the idea of him giving Lucifer a speed-of-light drop kick from across the House. That is probably all he would use it for, too. Him just getting those horns out and going into ramming speed… What a menace
Bonus: Wonder what kind of alchemist Solomon would be? 🤔
#speedster belphie sounds so goofy#you actually expect him to run?? please#and i would kill to see satan take on a tank with just a sword#AND WIN#ill get my attraction to dangerous people#checked out eventually#obey me#obey me shall we date#shall-we-date-obey-me#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me leviathan#obey me satan#obey me asmodeus#obey me beelzebub#obey me headcanons#obey me belphegor#full metal alchemist#full metal alchemis brotherhood#obey me what ifs#obey me crossover
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Wanderer x Reader.
just a lil something for the birthday boy <33333333333333333
Atop the tallest tree in Sumeru City, you sit thigh to thigh with your favorite Vahumana student. Your legs dangle over the wide branch’s edge, where you happily swing them back and forth, your spirit as high as your altitude.
This enthusiasm isn’t mutual. Your companion’s in a fouler mood than usual, thanks to ‘that tedious busybody’ (aka Lesser Lord Kusanali) and a ‘ridiculous bleeding heart’ (aka you). Despite his many colorful complaints, he brought you along to one of his favorite spots. He didn’t drop you like he threatened to either! You’re grateful for every second you’ve gotten to spend not being a mangled splat on the ground.
“We’re in the nation of wisdom,” You gesticulate wildly to the civilization beneath you. “Knowledge is meant to be shared, not hoarded.”
There’s a deep sigh to your left.
“You’re incessant.”
“I have to be, or I’d know nothing about you.”
“Hah!” He barks a sardonic laugh, “Would that be so terrible?”
Without hesitation, you respond, “Yes.”
The Wanderer crosses his arms over his chest, unconvinced. Fortunately, if there’s anything you excel at, it’s proving points that aren’t worth the effort of proving.
“Consider this! If, during your many passionate attempts at courting me—”
(“A mistake, no doubt,” he chimes in, which you pointedly ignore).
“—I never learned anything besides the fact you go by a noun and are unfairly pretty, you wouldn’t have succeeded in wooing me. Where would you be then, hm? Brooding in some dark corner, downing bottles of cheap liquor, lamenting what could’ve been but never was? Have you ever considered that?”
“I'm considering it now. Enviously, at that.”
The Wanderer snickers at the pained countenance you adopt. You both know that’s a lie. Perhaps he’s tried to convince himself it isn’t, but that’s a him problem. If your attention was a drug, he’d be an addict; hence the integrity of your not-splatted body.
“Sure, sure, whatever you say. Nonetheless, my point stands. Relationships are about vulnerability. Communication. An open channel that extends both ways,” your plea doesn’t move him. So, you switch to another tactic. “C’mon. Throw me a bone here. Just an itsy bitsy teeny little bone.”
The Wanderer’s eyebrows pinch together, his lips set in a thin line. Incandescent indigo eyes consider you. Persistent as you can be, you’ve never pushed the subject of his past. You can read him like a gauge and know the instant to back off. If he genuinely wanted you to let this go, you would’ve. Sometimes he just likes being fussed over.
“Why do you want to know how old I am?”
And here you arrive at the heart of the matter — his birthday. Which, without the involvement of a certain benevolent Archon, would’ve come and gone unbeknownst to you. The Wanderer couldn’t care less about the special day if he tried. While his ‘birth’ may not have been the traditional kind, it’s no less significant to you.
Your Wanderer, your beloved Kunikuzushi, has been a permanent fixture in recent memory. Wherever you go, he isn’t far behind. He stands up for you when you don’t have the heart to say no, challenges your thoughts as much as you challenge his, and is earnest in every pursuit he deems worth the effort. You adore him. As such, you consider it your personal mission to express this sentiment whenever possible.
“It’s simple,” you explain. “You need a kiss for each year. Sorry, I don’t make the rules.”
The Wanderer looks at you like you just spoke another language. “What sort of rule is that?”
“The only kind worth following.”
He studies you carefully. You might be good at reading him, but he’s masterful at reading you. A true connoisseur. He knows when you’re lying to yourself before you even know. The concentration on his face relaxes into something amused, almost impish.
Uh oh.
His shoulders shake as he chuckles at a joke you apparently aren’t in on.
“Ah, you should’ve led with that,” he’s grinning now, contentment rolling off him in waves. His hand brushes over your collarbones, then your neck, finally settling on your chin. Transfixed by his beauty, you stay still as his face creeps closer. “If the earliest records from that place are to be believed, I’m around 500.”
You squint.
“Like… five with two zeros at the end…?”
“If basic arithmetic is to be believed, yes.”
“... Oh wow, that’s a lot of kisses.”
The Wanderer’s iris’ gleam.
“Brilliant deduction,” he rolls his eyes. Then, his wicked grin sharpens, his head tilting to the side in challenge. “Well? I’m waiting. Get to work. And don’t worry — I’ll keep count.”
Overcoming your initial shock, you press your lips to his in a featherlight kiss. Before he can reciprocate in kind, you pull back, enjoying the frustration this causes. His eyes narrow into a menacing glare. To soothe the irritation you’ve caused, you kiss his hand, gazing up at him from beneath your eyelashes as you do so.
Involuntary shivers claim his body.
Wordlessly, you stare at one another. Anticipation thrums in the air.
And then you’re upon one another once more — where you remain until the count reaches zero.
#writing for him is like an antidote for the soul#wanderer x reader#genshin impact x reader#scaramouche x reader#scaramouche brainrot#my stuff
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i gotta say, the thing i love about haikyuu is that all of the conflicts come out of the characters' choices. i'm no connoisseur of sports media, but in the sports movies i've seen before, the main character usually comes from a ~rough background~ or has major life events going on outside the matches and it's about the ability of sports to lift people up. i think writers tend to assume that's the only way to build stakes or get an audience invested. but in haikyuu, the characters play volleyball because they want to play volleyball. they could quit if it stopped being fun. all the challenges they face are challenges they've chosen because they love it, because it's worth it, even the moments of disappointment. there's obviously a place for stories about reluctant heroes or people backed into corners just trying to make it through, but there's something really refreshing about seeing a character throw themself head first into something. one of my favorite scenes is when yachi asks hinata why he wants to win so bad, and he's so confused by the question. "if I lose the season is over. i want to play volleyball."
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☁️ husband minghao x reader
☁️ everything is fictional and should not be taken as reality or representations. mentions of crying, not taking care of one self.
he’s been monitoring you for a while now, not making any hasty assumptions in case of being mistaken. but his observations were piling up and the case is coming to a close.
your dull eyes when you smile and laugh with others, your lack of input when you usually love to give feedback, your sluggish movements when you insist you’re just feeling a little tired, your slumped back when you think no one is around. and your sad, glossy eyes paired with a red nose that screams that you’ve been crying, but you still smile and pretend like everything is fine.
behind closed doors, you merely ate one meal or less a day, multiple instant cup noodles piled up in the trash — the amount of instant noodles you eat worries him. you sleep most of the day away, and you find no more joy in doing the usual hobbies you used to love.
“baobei,” minghao pulls the remote out of your hands, you were mindlessly pressing on the next channel button without realising that you looped multiple times — there wasn’t any shows that intrigued you even though you were once such a show connoisseur (your words, not his) — “don’t you think that’s enough remote clicking for today?”
he unceremoniously plops down beside you and pulls you closer to him with an arm wrapped around you. tilting his chin down to look at you, “how are you feeling?”
cradling your cheek in his palm, he looked into your dull eyes. a painful reminder of how you were struggling by yourself, the one thing you can’t hide. “i’m fine, why?”
tightening his grip on your shoulder ever so slightly you might not have noticed if you didn’t focus hard enough, minghao pulls you into his chest, and into the safety cocoon of his arms. he wraps both arms around your body and rubs your back.
“i know what i tell you might not be what you want to hear, i know i can't understand what you're going through, i know i can't force you to stop acting like you're fine. but i also know that i'm willing to take care of you, and listen to you. you don't have to keep up a front with me, you don't have to pretend when you're with me, you don't have to smile when you're upset, smile when you're happy, cry when you're sad, you can come to me, let your mask fall off and have even a moment of comfort by my side. it must've been lonely trying to hide it all by yourself and pretend to be fine on the outside, i'm here for you.
pulling you away just a little bit so he could plant a feather light kiss on your cheeks, leaving his lips there a tad bit longer than he usually does. he pulls away and wipes off the tears at the corner of your eyes you tried so hard to contain. “getting through today is hard enough, tomorrow will be hard too but you did so well and i’m proud of you. don’t be so hard on yourself.”
☁️ ila's back (hope to stay), yes this is a repost from coupstatu(?) i think so
#seventeen x reader#svt x reader#svt#seventeen#minghao x reader#the8 x reader#myungho x reader#xu minghao#the8#seo myungho#seventeen minghao#seventeen comfort#shuoast.fic
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