Tubbo: Why have they changed it? These colors are awful. I– ew! I actually hate it! Where– what happened to the orange? Why’s it purple?
Tubbo: [Realizes] OH—
Tubbo: Oh, I'm actually– I'm actually a bigot, it’s Ace Race, I get it. Ohhh, ohhh that’s awkward. Ohhh, that's awkward. I’m a bigot. Oh, I'm a bigot. Oh, I'm a bigot. Ohhh. It’s crazy that they let bigots into MCC these days! Well actually, they’ve always done that.
I honestly think Lakan's character design is smart.
Lakan's character design was made to be sus AF. When he was introduced, either in the manga or in the anime, the first thing you would have thought was "this guy looks sleazy", or there is an immediate reaction of, "i hate this guy". Because he has a generic design for an actual sleazy, character, you know that character in any anime that with one look, you know he is the bad guy. It also adds that Maomao's response to hearing that he is nearby or she could possibly meet him was with wary or fear, in case of the anime, that one jumpscare scene of angry Maomao.
And then we finally get to see him in action, he presented himself as this drunkard high official that seems like he would take advantage of anyone and everyone, he would take the woman he is infatuated with, with force. He invokes hate and disgust, it is fueling the 'hate bonfire'. we would never root for this guy, we hoped that he would never get Maomao ever.
And then we get the chapter Balsam and wood sorrel, Lakan and Fengxian's history, we got slapped so hard with their reality, and all that hate bonfire got immediately doused in one swoop. He was the opposite of everything we saw him as the audience.
He never forced himself upon Fengxian, he loved and respected her too much for that.
He wanted to marry her, it was against his will to just up and leave her after they had their first night.
Finding out that Fengxian was gone broke him.
She was the only person he could see her face and she was gone.
And then he met Maomao, he sees her face too, he described her as like a Wood Sorrel, the nail polish Fengxian used, this was their child and all he wanted was to be with her and raise her.
After all that the biggest gut punch for us the audience is when he was about to choose the Courtesan to redeem, without getting Maomao's hidden message. Meimei bless her heart, she was also inlove with him but she still led him to Fengxian, after all those years and all the damage to her face due to Syphilis, he still recognizes her voice and her face, she was still the most beautiful person he has ever met.
We the audience judged him right away from the moment we met him, but all along we were so wrong in a way. He is just a doting father to his children and loves his wife no matter what.
If this doesn't invoke the iconic
You need to check if you still have a heart 😂
He is admittedly sleazy when it comes to his job as a strategist,but that's besides the point cause that's his job lol..
So Corinna Schumacher, whose husband is literally the most legendary Ferrari driver and king/ hero/ God of the Tifosi, was in Monza, home of the Tifosi... JUST TO SHOUT AT JAMES VOWLES FOR PUTTING MICK ON THE SPOT LIKE THAT?!?!
*You are responsible for your own media consumption*
Mentions of: Dumbification, intimate dreams, bongage, choking, praise and degradation, dry humping, use of the word "slut", masturbating
General:
- First thing to note about Jesse: he is panromantic, meaning he adored his darling for how and who they are. Does he have sexual urges? Yes and those sexual fantasies of his darling develop as he descends into his obsession. Does that mean he feels like he NEEDS to have sex with his darling? Absolutely not. Give him a fleshlight and his darling's undergarments and he's good to go. Would he want to have sex with them? Yes but if they ain't into it, they ain't into it, but that's fine because he just wants to spend every waking minute being with them.
- Jesse is definetly a switch. Yes, he'd love to use his whip to tie your hands above the bed and watch you squirm underneath him in pleasure but he also would love the idea of waking up to see you straddling him and looking down at him with hungry eyes.
- LITERALLY DOESN'T CARE IF YOUR EXPERIENCED OR NOT, HE IS COOL EITHER WAY. If you're inexperienced then he'll try be as gentle as possible, softly guiding you through it and showing where to touch and helping you. Will absolutely stop in the middle of sex if you have any concerns and it's amazing how goes from seductive to listening to you so patiently and smiling softly at you as you speak on your concerns and he tries to reassure you as best as he can or tweak his whole approach and once you're all good, he goes back to being seductive.
- If you're pretty well experienced, he is absolutely excited to see it for himself. Would love to be beneath you even when he's the one domming/topping because he wants to see if he can make you experience an orgasm like you've never felt before or touch you in ways you've never been touched if you let him.
- Jesse would feel an extreme amount of guilt at first. He wakes up in a coldsweat in his tent in the jungle because he had an erotic dream about the two of you and he just pants softly before he rubs his face and tries to shake it out of his head.
"C'mon, Jesse, the hell's wrong with ya?"
- He knows he has feelings for you at this point, he just isn't yet aware of how dark they are. In the beginning, he'd try to wake himself up as fast as he could when he had those dreams but the deeper he becomes obsessed, the more he allows himself to indulge in them.
- You wouldn't know about this either, since he's very good at treating you same as ever. He might be easily flustered around you a lot more but he plays it off as just lack of sleep from researching and adventuring and thats why he's so weird and out of it. But then you look away and he just stares intently at your ass and shakes his head and goes back to what he was doing.
- If you happen to leave an article of clothing or something in the archives of the university you both work at, like a scarf or a jacket or anything else then it is his now. First he would put them over his pillow and cuddle it and pretend it was you but then one night he had one of his damn dreams again and well, he felt absolutely pathetic as he used it to try and get rid of his boner. When he returns it after it loses your scent, he makes up something like that it was in the lost-in-found but really dirty so he took it home and cleaned it. His heart soars when you smiled and thank him but frowns when you ask: "Jesse, you're honestly the most amazing friend anyone can ask for!"
"Aw, shucks, darlin'...That's-...That's real sweet of ya."
- WHEN YOU TWO FINALLY GET TOGETHER, IF YOU WANT TO EXCITE HIM: use the keys you have to get into his house and wait for him nude. He'll come home, tired and exaughster but when he walks in the bedroom and sees you there with your legs spread nice and open for him. He just smiles like a doofus and is quick to strip and jump in bed with you.
Kinks:
Dry Humping: God he will absolutely hump his hips against his bed or his pillow when he thinks or dreams of you. In general, he'd love how sensual and exciting dry humping is. Like, you'll he bent over one of the tables in your shared work spot and you moan softly and desperately as he grinds his hips against you from behind, or maybe you'll wrap your arms around him and grind against his thigh and palm at the bulge in his pants and he'll squeeze your ass through whatever bottoms your wearing. It's like heaven honestly when he looks down at you and your looking up at him, your eyes dreamy and half-lidded but when he hears footsteps of the annoying headmaster, the both of you are talking about the history of some civilization and once he leaves, you and Jesse look at each other and smile. But yeah, you wouldn't even have to be naked for Jesse to want to bend you over the table, just let him hump you from behind and massage your chest as he leaves hickies on your neck.
Fingering: God please just let him shove his fingers in your hole and give you the most pleasure you've ever experienced. His hands are big and calloused from his adventures and sometimes you catch yourself noticing the veins on them. They'll feel so good as he uses them to squeeze your thighs and they'll feel even better once they're inside you. If AFAB, PLEASE LET HIM FINGER YOU IN THE MIRROR. Lean against his chest and moan and beg as his fingers explore inside of you and fuck you so good that you'll keep a hand on his wrist to let him know that he's not done yet. Let him see himself touching that sweet pussy of yours and how he leaves you so nice and wet. If AMAB, him jerk you off and if you'll let him, stretch out your ass. Just him gently whispering about how good his darling is doing for him as he pumps your cock with his hand and praise you for taking his two fingers so well and being so good for your sultry moans and whimpers.
Brat taming: Yandere Adventurer has the whip and the "fuck around and find out attitude". Jesse is a sweet man but even he has his limits, especially if it's his darling trying to tease him sexually or being a little difficult. When he finally gets his hands on you, he will make you absolutely cry as he somewhat mocks you.
"Aw, whats wrong, poor baby? Don't worry, after ya learned your lesson, Jesse'll take care of you real good. Just hold on a lil' longer~"
Pegging: LOOK, IF YOU WANT TO BEND HIM OVER AND TIE HIS HANDS BEHIND HIS BACK WITH HIS OWN WHIP AND RAIL HIM WITH A GIANT STRAP ON, HE WON'T STOP YOU. If you want to grab his lil pony tail and pull it back so you can hear him beg and yell like a whore in his southern drawl, he is down for that. If you want him to get on his knees and suck on your strap on and then grab his hair and face fuck him with it for the fun of it, HE HAS NO COMPLAINTS. But like, only if you want to tho-
Anything that has to do with you sitting on his face: Please let him eat you out. When you're stressed, sometimes he just thinks that maybe you'd be a little less stressed if you just sat on his face and let his tongue take away all the stress from your pretty little head. If you're worried about hitting him, he will reminded you he got trapped in an elephant stampede and survived somehow.
"...A-Are you comparing me to an ELEPHANT?"
"WHA- NAH, I'M JUST- That definely ain't what I meant! See? This is why ya gotta sit on my face so I don't say dumb shit like that-"
".... Have a good day, Jesse-"
"DARLIN', I JUST MEANT TO SAY YA DON'T GOTTA BE AFRAID OF ME GETTIN' HURT!"
Manhandling: Look, he grew up in a farm in the south so he absolutely is able to to toss, choke, and hold you down but since it helped him realize his own strength, he knows how gentle he's gotta be with you too. But yeah him just holding your wrists above your head as he pins you against the wall and his other arm wrapped around your waist so he can fuck you. Or like, 69 you but HE'S STANDING UP. So if you're sucking him off but slowing down, he can grab the back of your hair and bob your head for you as he does his part to make you feel good.
- Bondage: Loves the idea of tying you up and being tied up himself. HE'D BE SO DOWN FOR SUSPENSION but understands if you don't want to do it, but let him tie your hands together and tie your legs apart. Another thing is that he's escaped ropes before so when you tie him up and he acts all whiny and helpless as you tease him, just know that he's actually enjoying it. Also, about those dreams he's had, he's definetly had one where he got stuck in a bunch of tree vines and was suspended from the ground but was exactly crotch level to your face and instead of getting him down, you sucked him off. He walked into a wall the next day and when you asked about his black eye, he tells you that it was a hitman-
- Choking: It goes without saying that Jesse won't try to hurt you, since, after all, he's fucking you so YOU feel good but he does like it when he leaves bruises on your neck from his hands or small indents if his nails and he licks over them when you're both in the bathtub and he's cleaning you up. If you choke him out? Instantly nutting and he's absolutely shameless about it.
Praise/Degradation: If want to be praised, he's got you! He praises you all time in non sexual ways but moments when you're sitting on his lap and he's planning for his latest trip that he decides to be mean and whisper sweet nothings and seductive praise. For degradation, he's a bit hesitant and would want to talk about it since he doesn't think people who love each other should say things like that to each other but if you're into it, watch him slowly enjoy calling you his cockdumb slut. He also likes praise himself, no matter whose being more submissive that session, but if you want to degrade him, he'll hesitantly allow it but the longer he's with you, please call him a manwhore. A pervert who instantly opens his lega for you and only you. Be smug that you got the most amazing and impressive historian underneath you and his eyes are rolled back as you call him some mean names that don't cross over the line TOO much. Whether you're being mean or being nice, he loves it, but he comes to find out that you being a bit mean to him hits different.
- Overstimulation: THIS MAN HAS SO MUCH STAMINA IT IS INSANE. NO TOY CAN OUTDO OR MAKE YOU FEEL HALF AS GOOD FOR AS HALF AS LONG AS HE CAN. Cry as he fucks you through your orgasm, go numb with pleasure as his mouth licks and sucks whatever it can reach, and whimper timidly when you feel his calloused hands grab you and pull you into him because he promises this is the last tine and he'll be done. Alternatively, OVERSTIMULATE HIM. Put him to the test by using so many toys and vibrators on him while having him eat you out or such or bitting into him. Watch as that happy little smile turns into a lip bite as you make him orgasm for the 6th time that night and how he'll hasp in surprise as you get ready to make it 7.
- Dumbification: He loves watching you turn into a babbling mess. He loves having intelligent conversations with you but he also discovered that he loves it when you talk absolute nonsense because his cock is pounding you so good. He will get dumb with you two and soon you both are just two bodies pressed each other mindlessly fucking and he loves it. He loves that all you can do is incoherently beg for him not to stop and that your whines are the only thing that his brain can hear and that the pleasure of his cock being squeezed by you is the only thing he can feel.
Content Advisory: Fem Reader, Eventual Smut, Eventual Dark Content, Sukuna/Yuji Hybrid, Exterminator Sukuna (by day)/Rocker Ryo (by night), Reader Has Trauma, Mentions Of Being Abused (Reader), Graphic Everything (If you can't stomach content covering abuse, stalking and sexual assault this isn't a fic you want to read. I'm going all in), Bartender Reader, Reader has a kitty and a cat (lol).
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I might have missed something but I'm sure I covered the triggering stuff.
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WC: 3k words.
A/N: The chapter titles sometimes have links to songs of the same name. If you want to listen while you read, it's an option.
Minors do not interact with my works. Ageless blogs and underaged blogs will be blocked.
The beauty of this whole scene is just breathtaking to me and I appreciate this moment so much. 😭 I once saw Rick and Michonne's dynamic described as “healthily reliant on each other” and that’s really a great way to put it. I mean there's a reason TOWL's description says, "Without each other are they even alive?" And this s7 finale scene illustrates how Rick and Michonne breathe life into each other. I always love it when Richonne’s deep love is so visibly poured out, and this moment just perfectly captured how much they love and need each other, and how they truly are one...
This scene arrives after all the wild events of the season 7 finale. Rick and Michonne had a day, y’all. 😣 Like being harassed and betrayed by Jadis and her people, losing Sasha (😢), Michonne having to fight for her life on a balcony, Rick and Carl on their knees devastated thinking they just saw the matriarch of their family fall to her death, and Negan coming this close to killing Carl before a whole tiger saves the day. Safe to say they’d been through a lot and needed to now be back in the arms of the one who makes them feel most safe. And so that’s exactly what happens. 😌
As soon as Rick and Carl are able to go check on Michonne they urgently run over to find her, and I love how much her boys love her and how happy they are to see it wasn’t her that fell. If my eyes don’t deceive me, Rick really does look upward and seems both relieved and impressed that Michonne took care of business.
So then Rick enters this room where Michonne is leaning against a wall and all bloodied and it’s heartbreaking to see. I always think about how she must've been so seriously hurt to have to just stay in that room during the battle 😢 cuz I know if any ounce of her could have continued to fight with the others, she would have.
Rick immediately gets rid of his gun when he sees it’s her and he is so gentle with her when he stoops to her side and calls her name. At the same time, you can really hear and see the utter concern he has as he worries if she’ll respond. He loves her so much, y’all. 😭 It’s always so clear. Especially the second time he says her name, you can just tell that losing Michonne would break him.
I'm sure he knows it too. Like in the van in 7.12 he expressed knowing it was possible they could lose each other, but for both Rick and Michonne, seeing the other "fall to their death" and thinking they lost them just really confirmed that the loss of the other would be pretty unbearable.
Also, the way he takes the biggest breath when he finally hears her breathing. My heart instantly melts. It’s beautiful. And it is such a vivid illustration of the way she has his heart. Like truly, it’s like her little breath put breath back into him.
It feels like Rick now knows the exact feeling Michonne felt when she thought she lost him in Say Yes. He experienced that same emptying when thinking he saw her fall. And so being back with her just brings him back to life, and I feel like it confirms to him how much he can’t lose her. Like they still can technically, but also they can't.
I love the tender way Rick places his hand on her face and whispers "you’re alive" with so much relief. And you can tell this whole time he’s trying to figure out how to touch her without hurting her. #Magnets.
And the way Michonne can’t even fully open her eyes but just hearing his voice and feeling his touch puts a smile on her face. Y’all...their love is so palpable, and they are seriously the best soulmates on TV. Just had to reiterate that. 🙌🏾
The way Michonne clearly reaches for him too. I feel like it has to be such a relief to her that he’s also alive after the last thing she saw was basically him getting grazed by trifling Jadis before the fight broke out.
Carl joins them, and I know having her boys back with her after all the chaos that ensued really does cement to Michonne that they’re the ones who live.
And then I absolutely adore that it seems Rick kisses her hand. And then, even in so much pain that it hurts to talk, Michonne, the resilient queen she is, still nods and tries to instill encouragement and belief in them by trying to say their ever-so-important and always true motto - we’re the ones who live.
But that Rhonda Rousey trash chick really did a number when choking her, so Michonne can’t fully get the words out. So, to just make the scene even more romantic, Rick knows exactly what she’s trying to say, and he says in the warmest sweetest voice, "I know" three times.
Y’all, it makes me teary the way he speaks to her. 🥲 Both of their Richonne tones are A1 always. It is so caring and gentle, and I love that he sees that she’s in pain and he again softly touches her and lets her know it’s okay cuz he knows what she’s trying to say, and he believes in their motto too.
And he shows how much he believes it even more when he says with conviction “We are. We will.” Genuinely romantic and moving. 😭😭 Like genuinely no one should be surprised that Rick and Michonne's return to the franchise is being marketed as an epic love story because their journey has always been a love story. And a love story for the ages at that. 😌
I love the way Rick looks right at Michonne this whole time, again just letting her be the sole focus over anything else going on. And it’s sweet cuz in the s7 msf she was the one reminding him they’re the ones who live, and in the finale, it’s them both knowing and believing it together. 🥰
There's also something so powerful about the two of them affirming this to each other after their previous partners both didn't have that same 'we can live and make it' mentality. It just further shows how Rick and Michonne are truly more aligned at their core.
And then you really see those magnets kick in cuz Rick is like somehow someway I still need to hug you. And I just adore this hug. 😭 I love it because it’s Rick wanting to offer comfort to her, but it’s also very much a comfort for him too.
You can just see it in the way he leans into her like this is the one moment in the day where he can just release and be Rick the human being, in the arms of the woman who loves and takes care of and offers the utmost warmth to him.
I so appreciate that Rick and Michonne are able to equally be that invaluable source of comfort for each other - because they’re strong for everyone else, but with each other they can just be all of themselves.
And I love how, even in her pain, Michonne still passionately embraces him (with her hands in his curls once again, cuz of course 😋) You again just see how much this husband and wife can be human with each other and how much being in each other's arms is where they feel most at home. After everything they'd been through that day, just being back with each other began to restore them.
It’s also really sweet that Carl is right there to see all this. I love that during this time Carl and Judith got to grow up in a home where their parents so deeply loved each other. irl, it’s important for kids to see their parents value each other.
(also the only thing that could have made this scene better is if we got to see Carl eventually join in on the hug. i tease that this is 'the greedy hug' because Rick really said look I need my time with Michonne and Carl is just gon' have to wait his turn lol 😋)
And I notice how Carl had been being strong all episode but it’s only when he sees Michonne that we see him get a bit more emotional. Michonne has always meant so much to him. That's his mom. So it’s sweet that it’s in this moment where Carl finally can’t help but react with a bit more emotion.
Also it makes me think of how little Carl was there to witness that bullet exchange between Rick and Michonne in Clear, where his little self seemed to be picking up on a vibe between them. And now here he is older, and seeing exactly the love that was deep under the surface between Rick and Michonne back then.
(Side note: of all the deleted TWD scenes I’ve seen, the one from this ep with Michonne giving a speech to Carl (and Rick) really should’ve been kept in imo, especially as a full circle moment to this scene here)
And I love that they really stay in that hug for a moment. Richonne never rushes when expressing their love. And the visual of the three of them, the golden trio, is just beautiful. 🥹
Season 7 made a lot missteps but truly when it came to Rick and Michonne’s love story this season they never missed not once. In the area of Richonne content, season 7 is one of my favorites for them because there's just an abundance of Richonne gold throughout.
And concluding Richonne's s7 arc with this gorgeous moment where they seem so relieved to be alive with each other and to be the ones who live and to hug so passionately is great.
And then later to see Rick tending to Michonne while she healed. It was a lovely way to close out the Richonne content of their first full season as a couple. Every season, Rick and Michonne always land on unity and love no matter what they go through.
Scenes like this #18 one make it so clear that what we’ve always been watching is a love supreme between Rick and Michonne Grimes (as Rick has now made perfectly clear for the people in the back #MyWifeIsMyChoice). And I love to see it. 😌
for all of reddits faults its at least the best place to go when im standing in HEB and hear a loud ass plane and im thinking "goddamn that was a loud ass plane" and i wanna like, make sure its just some military cunts doing a flyby and not a Worryingly Low Plane or st
anyway @identifying-planes-in-posts whos this bitch bejng loud over HEB
Joel has a past with Etho, and It is the one secret that he keeps from Lizzie.
The war was still going strong, and Coral Crest just had a victory on the outskirts of their border. They took many prisoners in the aftermath of this long and bloody battle. Among these prisoners was Etho.
By this point in time Etho was pretty infamous and it was a big deal that he had managed to be captured at all, so his arrival at the castle, of course, caused quite the uproar. Joel was too curious for his own good, so he couldn't help but sneak into the dungeon while Lizzie and his father were asleep to see if the rumors were true. He was shocked to find that they were.
Etho struck up a conversation with Joel the second he got close enough to the cell. Joel, who hadn't even realized he had been spotted, was scared at first. However, he couldn't deny his curiosity, so he stayed and talked with him.
Etho admitted to Joel that he got captured on purpose, and that he was just bidding his time until Coral Crest put him on trial and had him killed. He talked about wanting to be free; free from the war, free from Wintertide, just free from it all, and that the only way he thought he would ever find that was through death. Joel asked why Etho was telling him this and he just shrugged and said he was going to die soon anyway so he might as well get it off his chest.
Joel went back every night after that to talk to Etho, fascinated by the strange enemy solider. As time passed, he got to know him, and in turn opened up to him as well. They became friends of sorts, or at least as close to friends as two people on opposite sides of the war could be.
He then realized that he really didn't want Etho to die, something that was inevitable the longer he was in Coral Crest. Months had passed since the initial capture, and they had indeed put him through a trial at this point. His sentence was death, just as Etho had predicted, and the date was fast approaching.
So, Joel did as he does best; he acted brashly and with little to no second thought.
In the dead of night, Joel set fire to one of trees in the courtyard. He had carefully planned it out and made sure that it would not spread to anything else, but it was still enough to cause a panic. While everyone was occupied by the flames, he stole the keys to Etho's cell and set him free.
Etho was confused and at first refused to leave the cell, determined to meet his fate on the gallows, but Joel told him to go have his second chance, make amends, and be free. Etho still wasn't sure, but he eventually caved, unwillingly to let Joel's kindness go to waste.
Somehow, Joel got away with it. He hasn't told a single soul about the deed, because if he did, he would surely be charged with treason. On Etho's part, he never told the tale of how he escaped, because he knew that in doing so, he would put Joel in danger.
Lizzie knows, but she doesn't say anything. She watched Joel sneak out every night, she watched him set the fire, and she watched Etho make his escape into the dark. She kept her silence over the years only because she trusts Joel with her heart and soul; she trusted his judgement enough to keep his secret.
Neither of them could have anticipated that Joel would come face to face with that familiar scarred man when Lizzie sent him to Wintertide to get in contact with the resistance.
if i ever do actually hit the age of 30 and people fucking tell me im old or otherwise try to shame that, i will start hitting people with hammers btw. girl i spent half my life thinking i'd die the moment i hit 18 dont shame me for getting older i didnt think i'd get this far dipshit do you know how excited i am to be 40 or maybe even 50 ill kill you
after 2015 until 2018 it seemed that things had calmed down a bit between valentino and marc, in the sense that they had started to be polite between them again and valentino no longer seemed to be on a war footing. then after argentina obviously the situation worsened again. in the podcast where valentino spoke in 2021 if I'm not mistaken, when he talks about marc,however, he only refers to the events of sepang and not to what happened in argentina which instead seemed to have been the final “divorce”. so my question is, during 2016 and 2017 did valentino just pretend to put up with marc? because in that podcast you can feel valentino's resentment is still a lot even after many years, so I imagine it must have been even greater in the two years immediately following sepang, even if it didn't seem if you see how he behaved
well. look. it was reflected in how valentino behaved... I think sometimes if you see isolated photos and gifsets, you can maybe be left with a bit of a mistaken impression of what that dynamic actually looked like for those two years. they got to a point post-catalunya where they were civil to each other, and maybe they'd exchange two lines in greeting, at podium celebrations, when somebody in a presser made a joke... and maybe marc at the very least was sincerely hoping they could get back to something like what they had before 2015. in reality, though, it was still very very far away. it wasn't open hostilities... at some point in 2016, valentino realised he simply couldn't go on like this. I talked about it a bit here:
you get this discrepancy in his 2016 output, actually. if you compare what he's saying that autumn for written press interviews vs what he's saying with marc right next to him... he'd clearly decided there was zero point in directly fanning the flames. at the sepang 2016 presser when marc and him are quizzed on what had happened the previous year, he just goes with marc's response and decides against reopening the controversy by adding anything from his side. but he still made it clear he hadn't changed his mind in interviews from the exact same time period! at times, he tolerates marc's tentative advances - at other times, he's almost accidentally sucked in, like he can't quite help himself from laughing at something marc has said. but there was never a period where he forgave marc for what he'd done... for various reasons he just decided he wasn't going to harp on about it too much. he did basically say as much post-argentina 2018:
but yeah, argentina 2018. it's an interesting one, isn't it? the stuff that valentino says there doesn't actually feel... quite in line with anything else he's said about marc. typically, when valentino criticises marc, it really is all about sepang 2015 - it's very focused, very specific, he's talking about being unable to forgive marc on a personal level for something marc had done to valentino... but it's not like he's really coming at marc for anything else... when other riders have gotten into spats with marc, he's stayed out of it - and generally he remains pretty neutral when he talks about everything else concerning marc. so, for example, there's a world where the moment alex rins is saying marc doesn't respect other riders in 2019, valentino immediately jumps at the opportunity to offer his hot take... but he doesn't do that. and yes, he had criticised marc's riding before, in particular in marc's moto2 days, but obviously those criticisms were considerably more restrained and sounded at times quite worried for marc's sake. (he also got close to that in silverstone 2016 when he remarked marc had 'something special' for their battles, but a) he's not wrong, except insofar as it's clearly mutual, and b) he explicitly said he didn't have a problem with that fight and considered it hard but fair). in 2017, when valentino was criticising other riders for being too aggressive... well, he wasn't doing so with marc, and he even conceded the point to marc in subsequent races after marc had obliquely criticised valentino at cota for his rhetoric not matching up to his own riding. when valentino's young riders have gotten into their own spats with marc, he's not waded in either, at most saying stuff about marc's fight with pecco that from his lips sounds almost like something akin to praise. radio silence after bez's run in with marc at the end of last year... argentina 2018 is the exception not the rule
and you know... at the end of the day, that was an emotional reaction. valentino might be wearing the habitual smile on his face during the media debrief and sound reasonably calm and composed, but he was furious. which, it's always worth remembering, isn't an entirely unreasonable reaction to that specific situation. yes, valentino doesn't have a clean track record either, but you're going to struggle to find such a... weaponised carelessness, a blatant disinterest in his fellow riders while shoving them aside, in the way marc was exhibiting that day - and indeed that whole weekend. looking back, of course argentina 2018 ended up being an isolated blot on marc's track record that he's not come close to repeating since (yes, he's made high profile errors that took out other riders, but it's different)... but we didn't know that at the time. also, I doubt valentino much appreciated being treated just like an obstacle in marc's path! the fact that valentino wasn't the only marc victim that weekend kind of has an interesting effect, because you have to doubt whether it would have helped if valentino felt like he was being targeted specifically by marc, but on the other hand... well, it's almost disrespectful, isn't it... being singled out is in a way still better than being brushed aside like any other rider
still, valentino's pushing it with his criticisms, he's out of line, and he clearly did lash out in the heat of the moment - which was of course largely a product of the resentment he'd been holding onto those past two years. calling marc's behaviour that day dangerous? sure, you'd find a lot of agreement for that. saying that marc was ruining the sport? that he was intentionally causing other riders to crash? ... well, hold on one moment. I reckon the simplest explanation is the best one here: valentino was angry and said stuff he wouldn't otherwise say, which we know because he's not done so before or since. of course, he was never going to retract what he said about marc that day - he wasn't ever going to apologise for it. not with their history, not when there was still just enough about those argentina comments that he meant... so he wasn't going to feel too much regret about the bits he wouldn't have said under any other circumstance. the problem post-2015 for valentino is that constantly signalling his fury to the world wasn't doing him much good... but pretending like everything was just fine clearly also took a bit of a toll. argentina 2018 wiped the slate clean - even though they gradually crept back towards basic civility after that. and valentino really didn't continue with that line of critique... since then he's basically completely reverted back to a sepang 2015-centric approach. maybe a few hints at it... in 2021, he said something along the lines of how he doesn't feel good when he's on-track with marc, but that's pretty generic while also crucially being personal - he's not saying marc is a problem for the series, he's saying it's them specifically that have an issue with each other
which doesn't mean he didn't believe what he said in argentina 2018 in the moment... when they reconvened in cota and had marc and valentino do separate media debriefs from the main presser, valentino said he stood by his comments - but also didn't actually repeat them or elaborate on them or anything. he's back to terse short responses to the press' questions, saying he wants to focus on the race ahead: kind of the go-to approach when it comes to marc post-sepang (with notable exceptions). he's walked his strongest comments back as much as he was probably ever going to - by simple virtue of the fact that he's left it at that. and you know, he's a complicated guy... 2016-17 was both pretending and it also wasn't. he didn't act like everything was forgotten, but he certainly was willing to let people believe that this relationship might end up being mended - which quite frankly was probably never going to happen. mostly, he was just sort of sick of the whole thing, struggling to enjoy himself in what had become such a charged, hostile environment for all the riders involved. at the same time, look - fundamentally, the interpersonal chemistry with marc was always fine. they click as people! they click as riders! marc makes valentino laugh! sometimes, that line between 'pretending' and 'letting yourself pretend' and 'actually not pretending at all' can be quite thin. when valentino talks in that time period about how much he enjoyed a battle with marc, of course he isn't lying - because he really does enjoy those fights! that's what racing is all about for him, and that's something him and marc still share! as long as marc isn't barging him aside and causing him to crash, that is. maybe it'd be easier if it were all a pretence, but it wasn't... sometimes, when you say you thought a race was hard and fair, you really do mean it and you really did have a lot of fun. sometimes, the struggle isn't actually acting nice for the cameras, it's trying to bite down the temptation to laugh alongside your sworn enemy
see also assen 2016... like, isn't this kinda wild? you've just had catalunya the race before, you've just had the mere semblance of a tentative start to a possible reconciliation - then they return to the place that was really the beginning of the end for them. they go on a few track familiarisation laps, including to check out the resurfaced final chicane (aka the scene of the crime). they race each other on said track familiarisation laps. then marc brings it up in the presser, giggling about the whole thing, and apparently valentino also finds it pretty funny - before he visibly swallows up his grin. later that weekend, marc pointedly decides to try out valentino's final chicane move himself during the warm up session. this is all obviously deranged, but it's a type of deranged where they are fundamentally on the same wavelength. it's the kind of ridiculous behaviour they're both incredibly fond of... you see it in how valentino shrugs off the towing at catalunya 2019, and thinks it speaks to marc's smarts and wiliness - unsurprising, really, because they're so similar in that regard, and valentino has never shaken his admiration for marc as a competitor
valentino can clamp down on his animosity towards a rival during his direct interactions with them... lord knows if you watch a few of the casey and valentino face-to-face interactions over the years, you really wouldn't match that up with the sheer vitriol of some of the stuff they were concurrently saying about each other in the press. that rivalry was never really personal (on valentino's end), it was never fraught in the same way (for valentino anyway) - still, it shows he's theoretically capable of separating this stuff out when he needs to... and he just about managed with marc for two years. if he had just been waiting for an excuse, surely you would have heard at least a hint of that when him and marc swapped paint in 2017. you never quite knew how he was going to answer the inevitable questions about marc's riding, but no direct criticism was forthcoming at any stage. the post-argentina 2018 rhetoric wasn't in any way premeditated from valentino's side, and personally I don't think he was just waiting for an excuse either. it was the result of a constant internal conflict between knowing that engaging in any more active beef with marc wouldn't do anyone any good, and the fact that he still hadn't forgiven marc... and then a race came along that simply pissed him off enough to push him over the edge
from 2016 onwards, valentino both very much wanted and very much did not want further conflict with marc, and neither of those impulses ever quite go away. usually, he's disciplined enough to avoid stoking the flames any further... potshots to the press outside of the paddock are essentially a free and harmless outlet in that regard, and even there you can tell he was trying to scale it back in the years where he was being forced to directly interact with marc. he was pretending and not pretending and sometimes pretending like he wasn't pretending and sometimes pretending like he was pretending. maybe it would have always just taken one major on-track confrontation for things to fall apart between them again... but you do kinda have to acknowledge the whole thing was really unfortunate. I've long thought that something like sepang 2015 was pretty inevitable as long as valentino managed to put himself in title contention once marc had joined the premier class, but I don't actually feel the same way about argentina 2018. an awful marriage of circumstance and coincidence and bad choices caused the relationship to fall apart again this badly. valentino might have had some more or less sincere misgivings about marc's riding, but at the end of the day he wasn't going to ever express them unless it got personal - because all of these people are incredibly self-centred and valentino wouldn't have felt like it was worth it. he lost his temper, he said some stuff he might partly but not fully believe, he's not inclined to bring it up again. that's that
Overall Content Advisory: Fem Reader, Eventual Smut, Eventual Dark Content, Sukuna/Yuji Hybrid, Exterminator Sukuna (by day)/Rocker Ryo (by night), Reader Has Trauma, Mentions Of Being Abused (Reader), Graphic Everything (If you can't stomach content covering abuse, stalking and sexual assault this isn't a fic you want to read. I'm going all in), Bartender Reader, Reader has a kitty and a cat (lol).
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I might have missed something but I'm sure I covered the triggering stuff.
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WC: 4.1k words.
Chapter Specific Content Advisory: Limerence, Male Masturbation, First person perspective.
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A/N: The chapter titles sometimes have links to songs of the same name. If you want to listen while you read, it's an option. This one has two songs that both fit the vibe in different ways.
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Summary: Darry's only sixteen when his parents die, and after two years in the foster care system he makes it his goal in life to bring both of his brother's home. But what happens when Sodapop has spent his time in the system on the west side? And what happens when Ponyboy spent his time in the system in New York?
Chapter Two: You're Lost and I'm Scared
Warnings: Food mention, lightly mentioned abuse. If I forgot anything please let me know.
You can also find this on AO3
Chapter One
Taglist
“Are we gonna go inside or?” Ponyboy asks, awkwardly nodding towards the door.
“Yeah- yeah sure.” Darry places a hand on Soda’s back, guiding him gently to the door, Soda swallows as the trash bag crinkles under Darry’s fist, he feels like every nerve in his body is on fire, like something is horribly horribly wrong.
They all step into the house, Ponyboy entering last, the door shuts quietly behind them. Soda watches as Pony’s eyes roam over their small living room, taking everything in as though the space is new to him, Soda wonders how much Pony remembers of their childhood home. Was it so different now? Without their parents, without their friends, the house feels empty. Soda had thought it would finally feel full with Ponyboy home. Soda watches as those stormy gray eyes land on a neatly hung picture of their family from years ago, their parents standing on either side of the three brothers, all of them laughing. When Ponyboy takes a deep breath and then quickly looks away Soda wonders if they should take the picture down, none of them can stomach to look at it these days. Pony’s eyes haven't become any softer, if anything he looks more upset, anger holds the place where sadness belongs, and Soda wishes he knew why. Soda wishes he could read his baby brother's mind the way he used to when they were little.
“Are you hungry?” Darry questions, having paused in the hallway between their bedrooms and the kitchen, he’s still holding that stupid trash bag, Soda hates it.
Ponyboy’s cold eyes turn to their oldest brother but he doesn't respond, he simply shrugs and makes his way further into the house. “Where am I sleepin?”
“Our old room” Soda says, trying his best to smile. “Darry is gonna move into mom and dad's room eventually. I'll take his room and then you can have our room. But until then we'll be fine bunking together like we used to, right?”
“I guess.” Ponyboy grumbles. “Can I?” He hesitates, moving closer to their bedroom.
“Yeah! Yeah of course honey! This is your home, you can-” Soda doesn't get to finish the sentence before Ponyboy is shutting their bedroom door in his face.
The door doesn’t slam but it’s enough to send Soda over the edge, it’s all so overwhelming, the quiet anger, the silence, the crushing disappointment, the way the trash bag crinkles as Darry sets it on the ground next to the door, the shut door. Soda tries to hold back his tears, really he does, but the second Darry pulls him into a too tight hug Soda can’t help but begin to cry.
“I know Pepsi-Cola. I know.” Darry whispers, keeping his arms wrapped around Soda as he gently guides his brother into the kitchen, nudging Soda into a seat at their small dining room table. Darry’s fingers slide over the old wood of the table, anxious and searching for something to hold onto. “Breathe Soda.”
“He’s- Darry he looks so- so” Soda hiccups softly, shoving his hands into his eyes in an attempt to stop his tears. “I thought- he didn’t even- lord, I couldn’t even hug him- those bruises-”
“He’s home, a few more weeks and he’ll be home for good. Let's focus on that for now, okay? I need you to stay strong little buddy.”
It’s not an option, not a request. Sodapop must stay strong, has to hold it together. They all do or they put everything, all of Darry’s hard work these past few years, at risk. So, despite the tornado of emotions tearing Sodapop apart he nods, and does what he has to in order to calm himself down while Darry gets started on dinner. Soda turns on the tv, unable to take anymore silence and then helps Darry cook. They don’t say anything, but Darry’s tense the entre time the weight of the world holding him down, Soda wishes he could do something to take some of the burden. When the food is ready Soda shuts off the tv and gently knocks on his bedroom door, flinching when the door swings open almost immediately. Ponyboy looks the same as he did an hour ago except for the red around his eyes, had he been crying? Soda's heart breaks at the thought of his baby brother hiding in their room to cry alone, as a kid he used to come running to Soda when he was upset.
“Darry made stew if you're hungry.” Soda steps back as Ponyboy silently steps out of the room and into the kitchen, he follows silently behind. The overbearing silence is back, he can't remember a time when the house was this quiet. Even after their parents died there hadn't been a quiet moment, there was always noise. Crying, screaming, apologies from people he knew and people he didn’t, promises of prayers for a family no one was willing to help. Whispered promises of a better future Soda wasn’t sure Darry would ever be able to fulfill.
In a way Sodapop can't explain it feels as though there's a complete stranger sitting at their dining room table. Of course, things change, people change, but Soda likes to think he hasn't changed that much in the last three years. Steve is still his best friend; he still hates school and loves going to drag races. He's still himself even if he's changed, even though he spent two years on the West side. He could say the same about Darry, despite how tired his big brother is these days he's still Darry. But Ponyboy… He's a complete stranger. Everything about him is new, his clothes, his hair. God even his voice is completely different. Ponyboy had been such a bright, kind, loving kid. He cried once when he accidentally stepped on a bug, Steve had teased the poor kid for weeks. Now though Pony looks angry, horribly angry, he looks like he couldn't care less that he's finally seeing his brothers again after three years of being separated. He looks a hell of a lot like the boys in the tougher gangs, deep on the East side. The anger, the silence, it’s all Soda can think about, it breaks his heart.
“I took the weekend off of work.” Darry says suddenly, Soda guesses he's gotten sick of the silence too, tired of watching Ponyboy push the same piece of broccoli around on his plate. “I thought we could all do something together.”
“The gang is itching to see you.” Soda chimes in, perking up at the idea of getting out of the house. “We could go to the drive-in with them, or maybe play football in the lot? Or if you're not up to seeing them we could go visit mom and dad's grave? You probably haven't-”
“No.” Ponyboy snaps and then he pauses, and slowly he takes a deep breath before speaking again. “We can go to the drive-in, or the lot. I don't care. I don't care what we do.” There's a moment's pause, everyone trying to process the sudden outburst. Soda wonders briefly if this is the same Ponyboy from all those years ago.
“Is there a reason you're so upset with us? I thought you'd be happy to be home.” Darry says, blunt as a baseball bat, Sodapop expects an explanation, or maybe even silence, what he doesn't expect is for Ponyboy to ask.
“Why aren't you in college?”
Darry's brows furrow, his hand curls into a fist around his fork, for a moment he looks just like their dad. Soda holds his breath, watching as Darry straightens in his seat, as his jaw clenches, “What?”
“You should've gone to college, that’s what you were suppose’ to do.” Ponyboy says and then he stands, chair scraping harshly against the floor. “I’m not hungry.” There’s a pause, a moment of hesitation and then Pony walks swiftly away into their room, grabbing his trash bag of things on the way, the door doesn't slam like Soda expected, instead it gently clicks closed.
“I'll talk to him” Soda says before Darry has a chance to speak. Soda abandons his plate and Darry at the table. Not bothering to knock, he walks into his and Pony’s room, shutting the door gently behind him. He watches as Ponyboy sits on their bed, back turned to Soda, the crinkling of the trash bag is the only indication that the kid is moving at all. Soda is silent for a moment, allowing them both a moment to gather their thoughts. Soda’s eyes scan over their bedroom, it’s changed a lot these past six months, two child sized beds turned into one large bed, cars themed curtains turned to simple black. The only thing that hasn’t changed is Boots. Ponyboy’s childhood stuffed bunny is proudly in the middle of their bed just as it always was, this morning Soda had left it sitting up against his pillow, now it lays face down in the middle of the bed. Soda wonders if Ponyboy had moved it before dinner, if he’d held it while he cried just like Soda has so many times over the last few years.
“You know Darry tried to get them to send you Boots, but they wouldn’t do it. Wouldn’t even tell us where you were so we could send him ourselves.” Soda says, slowly moving closer to their bed. “I know you’ll be home permanently soon but if you wanted to take him with you on Sunday-”
“Didn’t I say I ain’t a baby?” Pony says, there’s anger in his words but Soda can’t help but think that the words don’t just sound angry, they sound tired. “I don’t need a stuffed animal.”
“Well,” Soda sits on the opposite side of the bed, carefully picking boots up, running his fingers over the stuffies old blue and gray fur. “I do sometimes. When I have a nightmare, or when I think too much about mom and dad… I needed Boots a lot before, when I didn’t know if you were okay. I’d hug him and hope that somewhere you could feel me hugging you.”
There’s silence, for a long, long time, long enough that Soda considers leaving, maybe sleeping with Darry or on the couch, anything would be better than the silence, just as Soda begins to stand Ponyboy says, “You should keep it.”
“Okay” Soda whispers “Whatever you want, Pony.”
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It doesn’t take long for Soda to fall asleep after the excitement of the day. Ponyboy doesn’t say anything else for the rest of the night and Soda doesn’t push. He helps Darry clean the kitchen, shaking his head when Darry asks what happened. He sets out some clean clothes for Ponyboy to sleep in and slides under the covers. It’s become normal for Sodapop to wake up in the middle of the night, nightmares and anxiety brought on by his foster house make it difficult to get a good night's rest. So, when he wakes up at two in the morning he doesn’t think much of it, sleepily sitting up and stretching, popping the bones of his fingers and his neck with a soft sigh. It isn’t until he stands, deciding on grabbing a glass of water before crawling into bed with Darry to hide in the safety of his brother’s arms that he realizes what woke him up wasn't a nightmare at all, it was Ponyboy getting up.
Anxiety fills Soda’s heart; suddenly very awake Soda makes his way out of his room and down the hall. Was Ponyboy running away? Was his brother so upset at being home that he’d waited until everyone was asleep to take off into the night? What if he was hurt? What if he’d been afraid, or crying and hadn’t wanted Soda to know? Soda longs for the days that Ponyboy would crawl into bed with him after a bad dream, letting Soda take all of his worries away.
Soda breathes a sigh of relief when he rounds the corner to find Ponyboy standing in the living room. He’s still here, Pony is home, he’s safe, he’s on the phone- he’s on the phone? Soda backs up a bit, hiding as much as he can in the hallway, he knows eavesdropping and sneaking around aren’t good, his mama would surely yell at him for it, but he can’t help but to be curious. Who the hell would Ponyboy be calling at this hour? Soda watches as Pony finishes dialing and slowly puts the phone up to his ear. There's silence as the phone rings and rings and then Ponyboy is speaking, and Soda desperately wishes he could hear the other side of the phone call.
“It's me” Ponyboy says, his voice is so soft Soda can hardly hear it. “Nothin’ nothin’ sorry.” A pause followed by, “Yeah I'm-I'm in Tulsa”
Soda takes a deep breath, relieved at least that Ponyboy isn't on the phone with their social worker. “I'm with my brothers. I just-I hate this.”
Ponyboy's words make Soda's heart race. He hates it? Hates them? Soda can't imagine why, what had happened in the few hours they've known each other again. Was Ponyboy angry that Soda got to come home first? Did he hate them because they didn't find him sooner? Or was he angry because he had a good placement and felt like his brothers were ruining his life trying to get him back? But with the bruises…
“I do trust them. It's not that-”
Soda slides down the hallway wall. Trust… He trusts them? But he seems so angry- it's all so much, so confusing. Soda has never felt so unsure in his entire life, even after his parents died, he knew what to do. Knew he had to fake nice on the West side until he could finally leave, knew he had to follow the rules with the hopes of seeing his friends and older brother at school and any moment he could find to escape. Now with Ponyboy… It's like he doesn't know anything at all, he used to know everything about his baby brother.
“I am trying-” Pony's voice raises and Soda finds himself watching Darry’s bedroom door, worried that the noise will wake their older brother. “I am trying! I am okay- I just hate this. There's no point in bein’ back home like this. Havin’ to be here- they wanted to go visit mom and dad-”
Soda flinches, was that what had upset Ponyboy? Of course they all missed their parents, being back in their home had been so difficult for the first few weeks. Soda had found himself sitting on the porch most days, too afraid to go in without his parents there, but too afraid to leave with the fear of not being able to come home. Soda figured Ponyboy would be overwhelmed, thought maybe he would cry, he hadn't been expecting anger but maybe he should’ve.
Soda remembers being angry that first year. Stuck on the West side, separated from his brothers, living with people who didn’t care about him, only taking care of him to show him off like some charity case, the pity of strangers he wished he never met. In the blink of an eye everything had changed. Where he lived, what he was allowed to eat, to say, to wear, even how he wore his hair. He hadn't fit in anywhere anymore, not with greasers and not with socs, for a while it felt as though he hadn't even fit in with his own friends. The only comfort he had was Darry. But it's been years since then, and over time he'd learned to deal with the grief. He's still angry, of course he is, but life goes on, in order to survive he'd had to set aside his anger. Soda finds himself wondering if Ponyboy had used anger to survive.
Soda finds that he can't listen anymore, that the anxiety and fear are eating him alive. The idea of Pony not wanting to be home- Soda quickly and quietly makes his way into Darry's room, shutting the door gently behind him. Darry hardly even wakes up as Soda slides under the covers, using his big brother’s arm as a pillow.
With no one there to listen Ponyboy's voice breaks as he continues speaking. “They're gonna get sick of me. They're gonna get sick of me and send me away and I don't wanna be here. I don't wanna get attached to bein’ home just to get sent away again.”
A tired gruff voice answers, “Pony come on man. They're your brothers. They ain't gonna send you away.”
“You don't know that. I'm trouble. That's what everyone keeps sayin. You know they won't keep me around if-”
“Knock it off, ain't you supposed to be smart? They aren’t gonna get rid of ya and if they do I'll deal with it okay? When do you get home?”
Ponyboy sighs. “Tuesday, I think.”
“Then I'll see you Tuesday. Just keep your nose clean until then kid. And try. I don't wanna be woken up again.”
“Dal-”
“Go to bed.” The line goes dead no sooner than Dallas has finished talking and it takes everything in Ponyboy to keep from crying. He simply sets the phone down and makes his way back to his and Soda’s room. When he opens the door to find Sodapop gone, boots left fallen over in his place Ponyboy can't help the way tears gather in his eyes, he’s never wished he was in New York so badly before.
guys i'm taking my works off of wattpad bc wattpad readers scare me so bad omg. the vibes are just...the vibes are just so off, SDKHFDSJ sorry to any of my readers that prefer to read on wattpad, but i'm just gonna post on tumblr n ao3 going forward!!!