#Colors kina fucked up but i think it good now

[farkleysparkley]

Did i eva post this? Lil mj from early february🙌🏽🙌🏽

[sunmoonandeddie]

‘cause you are, you are

pairing: lumberjack!bucky barnes x reader

word count: 8,436

summary: Bucky’s found someone out on his front lawn during a snowstorm.  Well, Alpine found her.  If only he knew what he was getting into.

warnings: Bad words!  Violence!  Mention of kidnapping!  Mention of military violence/injury!  Mention of suicidal thoughts!

a/n:  So the song I listened to that kinda really inspired this is ‘Get You the Moon’ by Kina.  Also, this was commissioned by @buckysbunny​ and I really hope you love it, babe!

“Come on, Al,” Bucky said as he led his dog up the front steps of his cabin, carrying all the grocery bags inside.  He had a cigarette between his teeth, keeping it steady as he unlocked the door and let the gorgeous samoyed inside.  “Atta girl.”

The cabin was just as he left it three hours ago when he left to go grocery shopping.  As it should.

And Alpine was already standing at her bowl, wagging her tail.  She knew what time it was.

“You hungry, baby girl?” He asked with a grin as he grabbed the beef he’d been thawing in the sink and opened it up.  “Today’s a beef day.  We both know how much you love cows, yeah?”  He put a cup of beef in her bowl, powdering in her supplements.  “The best girl deserves the best food, yeah?” He asked as he cracked two eggs on top of it, before setting it on the ground.  Bucky couldn’t help but grin at the way that Alpine sat there in front of the bowl, waiting for the go ahead as her tail wagged aggressively.  “Eat.  Good girl.”

Kicking off his boots, he started up a fire in the fireplace.  The clouds were rolling in, the sun already setting.  He’d lived on the mountain long enough to know when the first real snow of the season was setting in.  They’d already had flurries, sure, but…  The first real snow was the first one that had everyone locked inside, unable to go anywhere for weeks.  He could smell it on the air.

Thankfully he was all stocked up on wood, so they’d be warm.  He’d already moved up Alpine’s dinner time so it would still be light outside when she needed to go outside to use the bathroom.  And they had more than enough food in the fridge and in the deep freeze to last them the entire winter, if they needed.  They’d be okay.

Honestly, his biggest worry was losing Alpine in the snow.  She was a big floof of white fur.  She always came when he called, but still.  It was the principle of it.

After she went to the bathroom, the two of them curled up on the couch while he ate and they watched whatever DVD he popped in.  He’d probably binge watch the box set of nature documentaries he’d gotten.

They were… relaxing.  After spending a few tours in Afghanistan, he needed relaxing.

It had been ten years, but… some things don’t fade with time.  Some things stick like gummy bears on a car seat in July.

It was past midnight when Alpine raised her head from his lap, a low whine in the back of her throat.  By then, he’d cracked open a beer and been fully ready to fall asleep there.

“Al?  Come on, baby girl, there’s nothing out there,” he said reassuringly.  It was snowing heavily, and he’d estimate there was already about seven inches deep with no sign of stopping.

But Alpine gets off the couch and runs for the door, barking sharply.

“What the hell has gotten into you?” He asked as he watched her.  “Alpine, come.”

For the first time in the four years since he’d gotten her, she didn’t listen.

Instead, she let out another bark as she clawed at the door.

“Al,” he groaned as he forced himself up.  He left the beer on the coffee table before heading to the door.  “There’s nothing out there.  Just snow.  You’re just gonna get cold and get the floors all wet.”

But, alas, he’s a slave to the desires of his puppy.

It’s kinda pathetic, really.  Not that he cared.

He opened up the door to let her out, frigid air blasting him.  The snow crept up onto the porch, and there was so much coming down it looked almost like a curtain.  “See, Al?  Nothing.”

But she ran out into the snow, nudging at what just looked like another pile of fluffy white snow.  She let out a whine, the only parts clearly visible of her being her dark nose and eyes.

And that’s when a head appeared, and his heart stopped.  What the fuck was a woman doing out in the middle of a snow storm?

Despite the fact that he wasn’t wearing shoes and he’d just changed into a fresh pair of sweats, he ran out to where Alpine was still trying to nudge her awake.  The snow was freezing his toes as he reached down and scooped up the girl, woman, whatever, and carried her inside.

“Come on,” he called out to the samoyed, who was following quickly after him, her tail tucked between her legs.  “You’re such a smart puppy,” he cooed as he laid the girl on the couch.  “You knew she was out there and made sure I got to her.  Good puppy.”

From the color of her lips, there was no doubt in his mind that hypothermia was starting to set in.  And from what she was wearing?  Come on.  She didn’t even have shoes on.  Just two pairs of socks.

Fuck.  He’d have to strip her down.  He needed to get her warm, and the clothes she wore weren’t doing anything to help her since they were thin and soaking wet. “You better not kill me when you wake up,” he grumbled as he pulled her clothes off of her, keeping his eyes averted.  She didn’t even have underwear or a bra on.

It wasn’t that he was some kind of creep.  He just felt awkward.  He didn’t know this woman and he wasn’t some kind of life saver.

Bucky was alarmed by the amount of bruises that covered her body, though it looked as though there was a purposeful lack of them on her face.  There were also what looked like fresh scrapes along her hips.

He wrapped her in every blanket he could find after grabbing fresh clothes from the laundry room and redressing her, cocooning her before shoving the couch closer to the fire so that it may warm her easier.  But she still seemed so cold.  He moved to the kitchen, taking a few hot water bottles from the first aid cabinet and warming them up before gently dabbing one at her face, the only part of her still exposed.

Bucky knew that the only thing he could do now was wait for her to wake up.  Pressing two fingers to her neck, he let out a sigh of relief when he felt her pulse.  “You’re not out of the woods yet,” he said as he grabbed his beer and took a swig.  It was going to be a long night.

Alpine was more than happy with the addition of a new person in their home, if not still a little worried.  She climbed up onto the couch and curled up against her, sniffing at her face and giving her a lick before lying her head down beside her.

“She’ll be okay, Al,” Bucky said quietly as he reached out to give her scritches right above her tail.  He wasn’t sure if he believed it, but…  Maybe Alpine would understand and calm down a little.

My first thought when I woke up was that I was warm.  Really warm.

I hadn’t been warm in such a long time.

My eyelids were so heavy, and I had no desire to open them just yet.

What would I find when I woke up?  If I was back in His possession, in his house, I…  I would need to resort to Plan B.

Technically, Plan B had been Plan A a few times, when things had gotten… especially hard.  But He had caught me before I could succeed.

The last thing I could remember was stumbling through the snow.  I’d managed to finally get out after planning it for months.  I waited until He’d gone out for his nightly trip to the bars before pulling on my two pairs of socks and slipping out through the broken basement window.

The broken glass that I had thought would cause me to freeze to death had become my salvation.

I had been going down the mountain, following the road.  But it had started to snow.  I’m not sure how long I had been walking when I could see the path anymore, or when I saw the light.

The first light I had seen in the stifling white.  It had been coming from a window, cutting through the storm like a beacon of hope.

The wave of relief I had felt at the cabin slowly taking shape in front of my very eyes had been euphoric.  I had started to think that if I was going to die, at least I wasn’t going to die in captivity.

But I hadn’t even made it to the porch steps.

Which brought me to where I am now.  Wrapped up in what I was pretty sure was several blankets.  But I could smell… dog?  He didn’t have a dog.  No pets allowed.

He also didn’t have a crackling fireplace, from what I remember of the few times I’d been allowed upstairs.

Yeah.  Definitely no fireplace.

I made sure to stay completely still as I felt two calloused fingertips press against the pulse point in my neck.

“Well, Al, her heart rate has increased…”

So it was definitely a man.

I’d gotten really good at pretending to be asleep over the years.  Like, really, really good.  It wasn’t often that He’d been able to tell that I was awake if I didn’t want him to know.

There was a whimper, and then a rough tongue licked across my face.  The dog.  Which was (hopefully) this ‘Al.’  I didn’t want to deal with more than one man.

The man sighed and walked away.  “You gonna keep watch over her, baby girl?  I gotta go get a shower.”

Did he think the dog was going to answer him?

As soon as I heard his footsteps going up a set of stairs, I took in a deep breath before slowly letting it out.  I needed to get out of there.  Immediately.

I just had to slip out without him hearing me or the dog making a scene.

I slowly opened my eyes, even though it still felt like I had washers glued to my lashes.

And there was the fireplace.  It was so nice and warm…  I hadn’t felt this toasty in years.  The basement was always so frigid, and with the lack of blankets provided to me, I was always at least a little cold.

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to stay for a little while…

No.  I shook my head as I forced myself to sit up.  I couldn’t stay.  I had to get out and get down the mountain to civilization.

I gasped as I felt the rough tough on my cheek again, turning to see a huge white dog that looked more like a cloud than an animal.  “Shh…”  I had to work to get my arms out of the blankets to pet it, but it was then that I realized I was not in my original clothing underneath all the swaddling.  My heart sank to my stomach as I felt a wave of panic.

Had he touched me?  Was he no better than Him?

I got most of the blankets off and frowned as I looked down at sweatpants and the long sleeved shirt I was wearing.  They were far too big for me, but they’d have to do.

I kept my steps feather light as I looked around the space I had found myself in.  It was a living room, and rather cozy.  Rustic looking.  I could see the kitchen to my left, and a silent debate with myself started over whether or not I’d have time to grab food for myself before running.  From the way my stomach growled, I knew that I’d have to.

I hadn’t eaten since yesterday, since today was not my scheduled day to eat.

The cloud dog followed me to the fridge, its tail wagging as I grabbed what I could reasonably carry.  It took everything within me to not stop and play with her.  I hadn’t seen a dog in so long, especially not one so sweet.  Its tail kept wagging even as it watched me stealing food.

I was reaching for the jar of pickles when I heard the cocking of a gun, and I turned around to see a large, burly man pointing a handgun at me.  The food in my hands dropped to the ground as I threw my hands up, my heart racing.  The jar of pickles shattered, the glass flying all over the floor.  “I-I’m sorry!  I’m sorry!” I gushed, feeling sweaty under the pressure of the barrel being pointed at me.  “I don’t know where I am.  I j-just woke up and I’m s-so hungry.”

Bucky’s heart pounded as he got out of the shower, hearing a commotion downstairs.

His instincts took over, and he didn’t have time to even think things through before pulling on a pair of briefs and grabbing his handgun from his bedside table before slipping down the stairs.

He had the gun in both hands as he peeked around the corner, seeing a girl digging through his fridge.  It was the cocking of the gun that alerted her to his presence, and she whirled around.

She was pretty, he could acknowledge that much.

It was when she was rambling that suddenly he remembered.  The girl in the snow.  But he’d been certain that she wouldn’t wake up for at least a few more hours.

His startling blue eyes stayed locked on her as he flipped the safety back on.  But he still kept it raised.  “Who are you?” He demanded, his voice gruff, deep.

She gave her name, and he frowned.  Just a first name?  No last?

“Where did you come from?”

“U-Up the mountain,” she said quietly, a few tears rolling down her pretty cheeks.  “Please, I…  I mean no h-harm.  Please.  I’ll go.  I swear.”

He shook his head, slowly lowering the gun.  It wasn’t like she was much of a threat.  She clearly had no idea what she was doing.  “Don’t be stupid.  You already almost froze to death once out in the storm.  Leaving would just mean that you wasted my efforts to save your life.”

“Thank you,” she said stiffly, still not moving from where she was.  It sounded more like a question than a statement.

She was skinny.  Scary skinny.  Of course, he’d seen that when he’d undressed her, but it was even more alarming seeing her in his clothes, seeing how they draped from her frail, bird-like shoulders.

He nodded to the mess around her.  “Stay still.  I don’t want you cutting your feet on the glass.”  Luckily she had the sense to listen as he swept up the glass and pickles, picking up everything around her before mopping.

He didn’t like being close to her, and she clearly didn’t like being close to him either.  Good.  It meant they would be less likely to step on each other’s toes.

Bucky was already very aware that she was going to have to stay until the snow let up enough for her to leave.

“I’m assuming you’re hungry?” He said as he put the mop away.  “You can have food.  I’m not going to starve you after rescuing you.”

She nodded, her stomach grumbling.  “Yes.  Hungry…”

Pointing to the fridge, he leaned back against the kitchen island.  “You can get whatever you want.”  He watched curiously as she reached into the door and grabbed the container of cottage cheese.  “Did you want some warm food?”

“This is fine.”

“You sure?”

“Mhm.”

She was weird.  But he couldn’t really judge considering the fact that he had no idea who she was or where she had come from.

Maybe she was a Russian spy or something.

No, that’s stupid, he reminded himself.  Your military days are over.  No one is looking for you anymore.

He showed her to one of the guest rooms once she finished eating the entire container of cottage cheese, eyeing her in case she vomited.  He had no idea how the hell she did that.  He liked cottage cheese as much as the next person, but still.

“Um…  There’s a shower through there.  And I can… get you some more clothes and stuff,” he said softly.  He stayed far away, out of her reach, and he noticed her doing the same.

She nodded, chewing on her lower lip as she looked around.  “Okay.  Thank you.”

“I’ll let you… get to it then,” he said awkwardly.  A frown settled across his face as he watched Alpine jump up onto the bed as the girl looked into the bathroom.  “Traitor.”

“Can you show me how the shower works?” She asked, poking her head back out.  “And…  What are the… shower rules here?”

A wave of confusion spread over him.  Shower rules?  “Uh…  Just… let me know if you’re gonna shower soon so I know not to use all the hot water?”

“That’s it?”

“Uh… yeah.”

“Oh.  Okay.”  She glanced over at Alpine, who was lying on her bed.  “Are you…  Are you showering soon?”

Bucky’s head tilted to the side, his brows furrowed.  His dark hair was still wet, and he was still in his briefs.

The girl nodded, letting out a weak laugh as her face flushed.  “Right.  Sorry.”  She pointed to the bathroom.  “The… shower?”

“Right!”  He slipped past her into the bathroom, making sure he didn’t touch her, before showing her how to work the knob and change the temperature.  “There we go…  Uh…  Have a good shower.  And I’m James… by the way…”  He let out a huff of air as he stood there with his hands on his hips.  “Right, um…”  He felt a bit awkward as he left quickly then.

I waited until after James had left to lock the bedroom door, swallowing as I shoved the desk chair under the handle.

There was a low whine, and I turned to see the cloud dog still on the bed.  I had thought it had left with him.  “Hi.  I thought you left.”  I reached out and scratched behind its ear, the fur soft under my fingers.

After taking a few minutes to just pet the puppy, I headed to the bathroom where the shower was still running, the mirror fogged up.

It had been so long since I’d had a hot shower.

After locking the bathroom door, I stripped off the clothes I’d been given and folded them nicely, laying them on the counter.  I could see the scrapes along my hips and cursed, wiping off the mirror so I could attempt to see them better.  I was covered in bruises, and the scrapes were clearly fresh.

But I had no idea what James thought of them or where he thought I got them.  Fuck.

I’d have to come up with some kind of excuse unless I was ready to tell him just where I’d come from.

Which just felt like it’d be so much work.  I wasn’t ready for that yet.

I didn’t come out of my room for the rest of the night.  It was the first time I’d ever been truly alone in years.

Even when He was gone, I was never truly alone.  Not when cameras captured every square inch of the basement.

When I crawled into bed, the cloud dog curled up against me and rested its head on my back.

I slept better than I had in years.  Even if I did end up vomiting up the cottage cheese.

Bucky was still confused by the girl three weeks later.  The snow hadn’t let up, which he was kinda upset about because she’d eaten one of the two containers of cottage cheese her first night.

He liked his cottage cheese.  And she ate it.

Which, okay.  He had been able to tell she was hungry and she clearly needed the food more than he did, but still.  She couldn’t have chosen something else?

Now they were having to ration the cottage cheese.  They had about half a cup left and they were both waiting for the other one to finish it off.

He was about ready to just tell her to take it.

He also didn’t understand how she’d stolen his dog from him.  Alpine had transferred her love and loyalty over to the strange girl within thirty seconds of meeting her, and it appeared that there would be no changing that anytime soon.  The dog was always at her side and wouldn’t even go outside to use the bathroom unless she sat on the porch, bundled in one of Bucky’s coats and wrapped in a blanket, and watched her.  Al didn’t even sleep with Bucky anymore.  She slept with the girl, her head on her back as if she was ensuring that she was still breathing.

On one hand, it was absolutely precious.

On the other, Bucky had lost his cuddle buddy.

But they gave each other a wide berth.  They never touched, which he was grateful for.  He didn’t… like touch.  And he got the implication that she didn’t either.

“You know, you living here kinda reminds me of the 2020 pandemic,” he said nonchalantly as they sat in the living room watching tv.  He was on the recliner, and she was curled up on the couch with Alpine in her lap.

Her head tilted to the side as she tore her attention from the movie playing on the tv.  “The what?”

Bucky blinked.  And then he blinked again.  “The…  The 2020 pandemic?  The pandemic three years ago?” He said slowly, his brows furrowed.  “Covid-19?  Everyone had to wear masks?  America was literally a cesspool of selfish assholes who were so stupid they believed Trump?”

“Trump…  Isn’t he that celebrity show host?  He was on Home Alone?  The Lost in New York one?” She asked.

He was going crazy.  He was sure of it.

“What?” She asked, sitting up a little straighter as she crossed her legs applesauce style, causing Alpine to whine before settling back down in her lap.  “Did I say something wrong?”

Bucky leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees.  “Donald Trump became president in the 2016 election.  Then Biden won in 2020.”

Her eyes were wide, her cheeks flushed.  “Oh.”

“How did you not know?” He asked.

She shrugged, wrapping her arms around Alpine.  “I… haven’t watched the news… in a while…”

The man could understand that, but the whole ‘not watched the news’ in a bit really only worked when it came to things like… like a celebrity doing something stupid or a law being passed.  Two whole presidential elections?  That was…  That was Amish levels of ignorance.  Even if she didn’t watch tv, there were billboards and signs and merchandise like those stupid Make America Great Again hats.

As if America had ever been great.  And he had a double right to say that, since he’d been a stupid eighteen year old kid that the military had preyed on, getting him to join up and head overseas when America had no reason to be there.

He’d lost his arm because of it.

“How long has it been since you watched the news?” He questioned, his heart racing.  He had a bad feeling about it.  A really, really bad feeling that settled in his gut.

She buried her face in Alpine’s fur, her shoulders rising and falling as she huffed.

She’d put on some weight since getting there, thankfully.  He’d been making sure she got all her protein and started her on vitamins supplements he had.

“Eleven years…”

He paused, blinking slowly.  “Eleven years?  What the hell do you mean ‘eleven years?’”  He took a moment when he saw the way she flinched away from him.  He’d figured out pretty quick that she couldn’t handle any raising of the voice.  She’d shut down.  “I’m sorry.  I’m sorry.  But…  I still don’t know anything about you except your name.  Not even your last name.  I don’t know where you came from.  I still don’t know how the hell you ended up in my front lawn, half frozen to death.  I…”  He sighed.  “What happened?”

She was quiet for so long that he was sure she wasn’t going to reply.  He started to get ready to stand up, letting out a huff.

“I was thirteen,” I said quietly, my voice barely audible.  Alpine’s fur was so soft in my fingers and against my cheek.  It kept me grounded, kept me tied down to the Earth so I didn’t float away in the cloudy memories that covered the sky in my head.

Bucky was watching me closely, clearly surprised that I’d actually spoken.

My throat felt so dry.  “Um…  It was a few months after my birthday…  And I had just gotten a new phone.  It was… It was one of those sliding phones with a full keyboard?  It had a touch screen, and it was cherry red.”  I couldn’t help but let out a weak laugh as I remembered that stupid phone.  I’d been utterly obsessed with it, like any thirteen year old would be.  “I was in eighth grade and even though most people I went to school with already had an iPhone, that phone was the coolest thing ever.”

He was watching me in a way that was so intense, so focused.  I hadn’t ever had someone look at me like that.  Like he was actually listening.

“And, uh…  I used to walk to the river in the woods by my house,” I said, my voice growing soft again.  “I would go and sit and read on nice days…  I didn’t really have… friends.  I was a bit of a loner, and new.  We’d just moved there that April.”  My heart ached.  I missed that river.  I missed my parents.  More than anything.  “There was a man that I’d see sometimes at the river fishing…”

Bucky’s breath audibly hitched, and I could see his hands gripping his knees tightly.

“I was lonely,” I said, my voice cracking as I clutched onto Alpine that much tighter.  The puppy let out a whine as my eyes water.  “I didn’t have any friends yet.  I was an o-only child…  So, yeah, I’d talk t-to him.  I didn’t think it was wrong.  I f-figured if he was going to do something, he would’ve done it the f-first eighty times I s-saw him.”

“He took you, didn’t he?” He asked quietly, his voice gravelly.

Avoiding his eyes, I gave a short nod.  “Yeah.”

He stood up, his jaw set as he reached for his phone.  “We have to call the police.  If you were being held in a house on this mountain, then that means whoever took you lives close enough for you to have gotten here in a snowstorm.”

“NO!” I said as I scrambled up.  Alpine flopped to the side with a bark as she watched me scramble to knock his cell phone out of his hand.  “No cops!” I breathed out, eyes feral.

“Okay,” he said quietly, his voice soothing as he held up his hands in surrender.  “Okay.  No cops.  I won’t call the cops…”

I could see the confusion on his face, but a wave of relief washed over me as he agreed to not call the cops without asking too many questions.  I’d already shared so much.

“Do you want to watch a movie?” He asked, casually switching the subject as he sat back down.  He didn’t even grab his phone.

“Yeah.  Yeah, that sounds good,” I said as I took my seat again, swallowing thickly.  “Can we watch that one you were telling me about?” I asked as Alpine licked my face before settling in my lap once again.  “The…  The one about the Day of the Dead?”

An easy smile spread across his lips.  “Coco?  Yeah.  We can watch whatever you want.”

There was a shift in the air after she told Bucky about where she’d come from.  They still kept a generally wide berth, but… they were closer.  He was definitely in no hurry for her to leave.  Not when he could keep her safe in his cabin.

He felt a wave of protectiveness every time he thought of her.  He had someone to take care of now.  Other than Alpine and Steve when they were kids, he’d never had that.  Even Rebecca had been so independent growing up.

He liked having someone to protect, to take care of.  He liked checking in on her when he woke up in the morning and when he went to bed.

Which he’d started doing once she’d stopped locking her door at night.

Bucky liked preparing her breakfast and coffee for her in the morning, slowly helping her increase her food intake without hurting her tummy.  He liked checking in on her and making her laugh with his stupid jokes.

He liked… her.  She was easily the prettiest gal he’d seen, even if it was unassuming at first.

But he wasn’t a creep like the man who took her, whoever he was.  He wasn’t going to pressure her into being with him just because he was providing her shelter and food.

He wouldn’t use her like that.

And besides, it wasn’t as though she would want him.  She had just turned twenty-four that year, and he was forty-one.  There was a good seventeen year age gap, and it felt even wider once he’d realized that her education had effectively stopped at thirteen years old.

Of course, he’d started to remedy that.  He’d found some kind of online learning platform that he’d remembered from the pandemic.  Parents had started the free service in order to make sure that kids were still getting their education as schools shut down and they were pushed into Zoom classes in the autumn of 2020, after America failed and sent them back to school.

She was a lot smarter than she realized, and he made sure to tell her as often as possible.

They had a camaraderie that he hadn’t ever expected to find after he’d pushed Steve away.

Steve had been lucky.  He’d been good enough at drawing that he’d gotten a full ride to art school.  He didn’t have to enlist in order to have a future.

It wasn’t that Bucky was bitter about that.  Steve deserved it.  And now Bucky’s job was taking pictures of the mountains he lived on, and he got paid so much that he really only had to work a few months a year.

“You always talk about Steve,” she said softly one night as they ate dinner in the living room, as per their routine.  “Do you still talk to him?”

“Uh…  No,” he said quietly.  “Lately I’ve been thinking about reaching out, though…  I miss him.”

Her head tilted to the side as she looked at him, her spoon halfway to her mouth.  He’d made chicken tortilla soup, since that had apparently become her favorite.  “What happened?  If you don’t mind me asking…”

Bucky smiled weakly down at his own half empty bowl.  “Well…”  His spoon clinked against the side.  “It was hard after I came home… from overseas…  I’d lost my arm…  I wasn’t the same guy I was…”  He took a deep breath.  “I was angry… at everything… and I took it out on him, even when it wasn’t his fault…  And then one day I just packed up and left.  Found my way here.  I bought this place with the money I had and fixed it up…  It was a real dump.  Basically foreclosed.  But I spent an entire summer fixing it.  Had to get it done before the first snow.  And it also got me to figure out how to use my prosthetic.  It’s some… fancy experimental thing.”

There was a flicker of the lights, and then nothing.  It went completely dark.  The heater stopped, the clock on the top of the stove went off.

“Bucky?” She whimpered, the fear evident in her voice.

“Hey, it’s okay.  It’s okay.  I’m here,” he said as he used his phone flashlight to illuminate the situation a little bit.  “I’m gonna find some flashlights, okay?  You stay right there with Alpine.”

She nodded, setting her bowl to the side and wrapping her arms around the puppy.  “Okay…  H-Hurry back.”

Oh, he definitely would.  He didn’t wanna leave his bear cub alone for too long.

He found two flashlights in the basement before coming back.  “Okay, let’s get all the blankets and stuff together,” he said as he handed her one of them.  “It’s gonna get cold real quick without the heating working.”  There was no way he was gonna be able to get out to look at the generator with how heavy the snow was falling.

They piled all the blankets up on his bed before she crawled under the mountain of them, Alpine curling up next to her like always.

She watched as Bucky sat on the edge of the bed, watching the slow rise and fall of his back.  She could practically see the steam coming from his ears from how much he was overthinking.  “You can take your arm off, you know,” she said quietly, sitting up on her elbows.  “I’m…  I’m not gonna think it’s weird.”

Bucky let out a weak laugh.  “You sure, bear cub?” He asked, his voice wavering.  “I don’t want to freak you out…”

“Something that’s a part of you could never be bad,” she said quietly.

His heart stuttered inside his chest.  He didn’t know what to say in reply.  He’d never had someone say something like that.  His hand was shaking as he reached up and undid his prosthetic.  It was a whole thing he went through every night and every morning, since it was attached to his nerves.  He hissed as it finally came off, setting it in the open case on the ground as he rolled his shoulders a few times to get the tension out.

“See?” She said as she watched him, her eyes running over his back muscles and the scars that covered his shoulder.  “There’s nothing bad about you.”

Bucky slowly crawled under the blankets, staying on the other side of the bed.  He didn’t want to make her uncomfortable.

“You gonna stay over there all night?’

He blinked, and then he blinked again, his eyes staring up at the ceiling.  “I…  What?”

She was still sitting up on her elbows, her lower lip caught between her teeth.  Her eyes were flickering between the blankets and him.  “You don’t have to stay over there…  I’m not… gonna break if we cuddle, you know…”

Bucky’s heart stopped inside his chest as his mind went blank.  He suddenly wasn’t thinking anymore about how he might hurt her.  She wanted him.  Or at least… wanted him to cuddle with her.

Which he was more than happy to comply.

I scooted over a little closer to Bucky when I realized he was frozen staring at me.  He seemed to be in shock over the fact that I wanted to cuddle.

“Jamie?” I said softly, my fingers grabbing onto his arm and tugging him closer.  “Please?”

I watched as he swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he nodded.

“I mean…  You don’t have to,” I added quickly, feeling a flash of anxiety.  What if I had imagined everything?  The flirting?  The calling me bear cub?  “Not if…  Not if you don’t want to.”

Maybe my emotional growth was just as stunted as my educational growth.

But then moved closer to the center of the bed, his strong arm wrapping around my waist and pulling me close.  So close that I was lying on top of his chest.  He was so nice and warm.

And so strong.  He wasn’t like one of those guys in Hollywood or the bodybuilders that were all dehydrated in order to look like they had a twenty pack of abs or something.  He was the real kind of strong.

It was sexy as hell.

And it had been so long since I’d had a gentle touch…  Or had someone hold me just for the sake of holding me.

I hadn’t realized just how badly I needed it until Bucky was holding me close, his lips pressing to my forehead.

“James?  If you don’t mind me asking…  How did you lose your arm?”

I could feel the rise and fall of his chest as he took in my question.

“You don’t have to tell me.”

“No, I…  I want to,” he insisted as he brought me that much closer.  His chin rested on top of my head.  “I was on break…  And these little local kids loved playing hopscotch with us.  We’d draw out the hopscotch on the ground and we would use a little rock and all that…  Then one day, there was a truck out by the road.  One of ours.  We didn’t think anything of it even though it wasn’t where it was supposed to be.  We figured that out later.”  He pressed his lips to my head.  He was trembling, even if he was trying to hide it.  “We were searching for a good rock to use… and when I got close to grab a rock under the wheel… someone set off a bomb.  Blew my arm clean off.  It was all in… all in slow motion.”  Bucky sighed, shaking his head.  “I’d rather it be me then one of those little kids though.”

I sighed, squeezing him tight.  “You’re a good man, James.”  He clearly didn’t wanna think about it anymore, so I quickly changed the subject.  “Have you ever had someone braid your hair?” I asked as I reached up, running my fingers through his long hair.

“Can’t say I have,” he said, a chuckle reverberating through his chest.  “Why?  You wanna braid my hair for me, bear cub?”

I hummed, twirling a strand of his hair around my fingers.  “Mm…  I think it’d look real pretty braided…”

“Pretty?  You calling me pretty?” He snorted.

“Mmhm.”

“Why’s that?”

“‘Cause you’re pretty.”

By the blush on his cheeks, I could tell that he hadn’t ever been called pretty again.

And I knew I’d have to start calling him pretty a lot more.

Bucky had a shy smile on his face as he squeezed me closer to him, burying his face in my hair.  “You’re prettier, bear cub.”  He kissed my forehead again, humming.  “Get some sleep.  I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

It was another two months before there was a break in the snow long enough for them to be able to head to town for more groceries.  Plus, they needed to stop and get her some clothing that actually fit her.

Not that Bucky didn’t mind her wearing his clothes.  He liked it a lot, actually.  His little bear cub in his sweaters and such.

But she did want some pants that fit her proper and some underwear, at least.

And she was excited, but clearly anxious.  “Come on, Alpine,” she said happily as they ran out to the truck, Bucky following quickly behind.

“You’re adorable,” he said softly as he climbed in the driver’s seat.

“Shut it,” she said, covering her face in Alpine’s white fur.

He was falling for her.  Hard.  Even after the electric came back on, they hadn’t stopped staying in the same bed.  It just felt natural.  They hadn’t done anything more than cuddle, but he wasn’t exactly in a rush.  Bucky was very happily letting her take the reins when it came to how quick they moved.

But he did wanna talk to her about being together officially at some point.

The one thing he was really worried about was the fact that she still wouldn’t let him call the police.

He just wanted to find the man who had hurt her and wring his neck with his bare hands.

Or at least have him thrown in jail.  At the very least.

The first thing they did was get her some clothes and shoes so she could change into them, even though he was pleased to note that she did keep on his sweater.

She looked really, really good in green.

Like, really good.

“We need at least two containers of cottage cheese,” she said as she grabbed them, grinning.

“Oh, yeah?” He asked, coming up to her and wrapping his arms around her waist.  He couldn’t help it.  He loved touching her.  Preferred to have at least one hand on her at all times.  “Better make that three containers, bear cub.  From what I remember, someone ate an entire container in one sitting and then promptly threw all of it up.”

“I don’t know who you’re talking about.”  Her cheeks flushed as she nuzzled into him.  “And I only have two hands, James.”

A slow smirk spread over his lips as he looked at her pretty face.  He loved getting her all flustered.  “I didn’t say you had to grab it all at once.”  As if to make a point, he reached over and grabbed a third container, moving to set it in the cart.

It was when he had turned his head away for less than thirty seconds that he heard the sound of plastic hitting the ground, and saw cottage cheese splattered across the marble tiles.

“Bear cub?” He said in confusion as he looked around.  But she’d disappeared.  His brows furrowed as his eyes met Brock Rumlow’s, who was glowering at him for some fucking reason.  His eyes flickered down to his outfit, his heart stopping inside his chest when he saw the badge.

Brock Rumlow was a police officer.

His bear cub hated cops and refused to let him call the cops.

She’d disappeared when she saw him.

Fuck.

He didn’t like the thoughts that were running in his head.

Bucky had to find her before Brock did.

He didn’t even attempt to act nonchalant as he ran through the store, leaving the cart there.  His heart was absolutely racing.

Alpine wasn’t sitting outside the front door where they’d left her.

He rushed to the parking lot, breathing out a sigh of relief when he found her and Alpine in the truck, huddled down on the floor.  “Oh, thank fuck,” he breathed out as he got in the driver’s seat.  He didn’t even buckle before he was peeling out of the parking lot.  “He’s not gonna touch you, baby.  I promise.”

She looked up at him with glassy eyes, tears staining down her soft cheeks.  “H-He…  He’s the one who…”

“I know,” he said quietly as he reached over to take her hand, intertwining their fingers and squeezing.  He was flying up the mountain as fast as he could without spinning out, heading for the cabin.  “I know that it’s him.  But he’s not going to touch you, okay?  I’m not gonna let him.  I’m gonna protect you.”  He handed her his phone out of his pocket.  “Bear cub, can you go to my contacts and call Sam?  Tell him we need him as soon as possible.”

She nodded, her hands trembling as she found the name and called.  “H-Hello?  This is Bucky’s friend and w-we need someone at Bucky’s immediately.  Please.”

When they got back to the cabin, he rushed her inside.  “Go upstairs to our bedroom, lock the door, and then go to the bathroom and lock the door,” he said.  “Take the handgun in my bedside table with you.”

“J-Jamie, I’m scared,” she whimpered, her hands shaking.

He rushed forward, his hands holding her face as he pulled her into a kiss.  “It’s all gonna be okay.  But don’t come out for anyone that isn’t me, alright?” He said softly, caressing her cheeks.  “Take Alpine with you.”

She nodded, and he let out a sigh of relief as she went.

He grabbed the gun he had hidden in the living room, quickly loading it.  He knew that Rumlow would be coming up after them, especially if he was the one who had kept his precious girl kidnapped for over a decade.

He had a lot to lose.

But so did Bucky.  He’d just gotten his girl, and he wasn’t losing her anytime soon.

Bucky Barnes would not be losing the one person that made him feel human again.

And if it came down to it, and he died protecting her, he’d be okay with that as long as she was safe.  He’d just have to bring down Brock with him.

He stiffened as he heard the car pull into the drive with a roar and then the slamming of the door.  He knew it wasn’t Sam.  It would take him longer than that to get up there considering when they’d called.

Brock didn’t even bother knocking.  He shot through the lock and threw the door open.

It was all a blur.  Bucky shot at him and managed to catch him in the thigh, but Brock just kept coming.  He was pretty sure he had a bulletproof vest on, too.

“So this is where the little brat’s been?” Brock snarled, glaring as he pointed the gun at him.  “I figured she’d died out in the snow.  Would’ve been better if she had.”

Bucky wasn’t going to dignify it with a response.  He knew Brock was just trying to rile him up to get him to fuck up.  And he couldn’t let that happen when his girl’s life was on the line.

What he did do was aim at Brock’s hand and get him to drop the gun before he rushed forward and pinned him to the ground to wait for Sam.  He shoved him to the ground, glaring at him harshly.  “You will never touch her again,” he hissed, emphasizing each word as his hand wrapped around his throat and squeezed threateningly.  “And I’d fucking kill you now, but you don’t deserve a quick death.”  He spit in his face.  “I want you to get put in prison for life, and I want to hear about how your ass is getting kicked everyday for kidnapping and raping a little girl, and holding her hostage for over a decade.  I’m gonna personally make sure you never see the light of day again.”

As soon as the door opened and Sam came in with two other officers, he lifted his hands in surrender, getting off him once he knew that Brock wouldn’t be able to get out.

Before anyone could stop to question him, he ran upstairs.  “BABY?” He called out as he knocked on the bedroom door.

It took less than thirty seconds for his girl to open the door and throw herself into his arms, Alpine barking excitedly behind her.

“Hey, Alpine,” he said with a laugh as he scooped her up, wrapping her legs around his waist as she buried her face in his neck.  “Did you protect your mama?  Yeah?”

She let out a weak laugh as she nuzzled in further.  “Are you okay?” She asked, her voice cracking as she pulled back to look at him, holding his face as she checked him for injuries.

“Bear cub, he didn’t even touch me,” he said softly, holding her close.  “He’s in cuffs now, being put in the back of a cop car to go to prison…”  He kissed her forehead.  “He can’t ever get near you again.  They’re gonna search his place and it’ll all be over.  You never have to go back there ever again.”

I jerked awake, letting out a broken scream.  Sweat dripped down my back, tears rolling down my cheeks.

Alpine let out a worried whine from where she laid on my feet, keeping them toasty.

“Hey…  Hey, I’m here,” Bucky whispered sleepily as he brought me into his chest with his one arm.  His prosthetic had been taken off earlier.  “I’ve got you, bear cub…  I’m right here…”

I crumbled into tears as I was pulled onto his lap, my nose brushing against his neck.  “J-Jamie…”

“Was it the dream again?”

I nodded, my hands grasping at him to hold him close.  “I wa-was back in that basement…  W-With Him.”

He had gotten to see the basement first hand.  The concrete walls.  The dirty mattress that rested on the ground without any sheets.  The bugs and the rats that I had shared that space with.  The broken window that Brock had covered with a trash bag.  The cameras.

He’d seen me through the whole trial.

It didn’t take long for Brock to be put on trial and found guilty.  Hell, the jury only deliberated for an hour before coming back and giving their verdict.

With all the evidence from his cabin and his own poor defense, I didn’t even have to testify, which was a relief.

The piece of shit actually thought he’d get off easy.  But he got fifty years, and considering he was already over forty, it wasn’t likely that he’d ever get to leave prison again.

There was a bit of… question about what would happen to me after.  Where I would go.

My parents came to see me at Bucky’s, and they started talking about me going home with them and how they still had my room all set up.

But I just couldn’t leave Bucky and Alpine.  Not after everything.

And as much as I knew that me being taken wasn’t their fault, I didn’t feel safe with them like I did with him.

I thought Bucky was going to cry when I said that I wanted to stay with him.  He’d rushed to reassure them that he was going to take care of me and he was already working on helping me get my GED.

They seemed to like him, which was good.

And yeah.  The nightmares still came back sometimes.  I would always be haunted, even with my therapists’ help.

“I’ve got you…  He’s never gonna touch you again.  You’re safe,” Bucky whispered as he kissed my cheek.  He pulled back, his hand cupping my face.  “I love you.  And I’ll never let anyone hurt you ever again.  And you know Alpine won’t.”

“I know,” I said softly as I rested my head against his chest as he laid us down again.  “I love you, too.”

No, the nightmares didn’t go away.  But that didn’t matter when I had Bucky.

[blueboltkatana]

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

GUrll ur so sexy... Like you're Hot. I don't care if you were bullied in school, you're sexy, they lied.

Also bitch I KNEW i related to you too much our ascendants are both in leo we're so hot.

Ok ok no now I'll stop complimenting and start with the roasting here we go:

So the sun is your sense of "self" it represents you on the more base level i guess you could say, like what most people think you're like is represented by your sun. With Sagittarius being your sun it means you're very energetic Especially for those things you are passionate about, you might have gone through a LOT of hobbies, only a few of them stuck around but you like to try things. You're curious about the way people's minds works, you wanna figure them out. If the conversations you have don't involve some form of psychoanalysis or philosophy you might loose interest. You are a Talker, maybe you talk very fast or you are often told to lower your voice but you don't do it on purpose you're just very very animated. You are kina volatile, in the sense that you value freedom in everything, love, work, hobbies. You have a huge rebellious streak and you kinda like testing your luck. Think adrenaline junkie. It's cliché but with this much Sagittarius in your chart you prob love traveling, like i said you will chase freedom because you associate it with happiness. If you find people that make you feel free then you feel happy. Rules don't go well with you. You don't really like being involved with fights per se but you LOVE debating, if you can beat a motherfucker with nothing but facts and logic you will and you will enjoy it.

Your way of flirting or making friends is "lowkey bullying" or my favourite "verbally throwing hands". If they shoot back you get heart eyes (my mars in sag agrees). You can be tactless as fuck tho. Like you will say some outrageous shit that MIGHT be funny if the timing is right or MIGHT make everyone in a 5 mile radius mad.

I NEED to talk about your moon in sag bc Babe, babe the moon tells us about our emotions and how we deal with them, how we express them and how they shape us. But BABE. Sagittarius moons are so bad at comforting people it's embarrassing, trying to make them think of smth else or do smth else to distract from the situation is NOT a good way to deal with your emotions... Avoiding your emotions like the plague is not gonna invent a vaccine... Saying "everything is fine :)" DOESN'T MAKE ANYTHING FINE PLEASE GO TO THERAPY. ok to give you some credit, you don't let shit bring you down, no matter what you always get up and that is a *strength* that i admire, but love you're burning the candle at both ends, especially if you get yourself in More problems by trying to distract yourself from One problem.

Also you've had a horsegirl phase or a dog obsession phase or both huh. AND your love language is sarcasm but the type that you will make someone laugh when you're insulting them. You're also hilarious irl you're prob the "funny friend" but with that scorpio mars and venus baby inside ur sad and dark as fuck ripp.

I also wanted to talk about your mercury in sag... Babe... Do you know what a brain to mouth filter IS?! do you recognize that word?!?! Cuz you have never used yours i think. Like you are hilarious but that's because you have dolphins in the head cavity baby. Not trying to say you're stupid, you're actually very smart and opinionated, probably have been told that you'd be a great lawyer or smth. But miss gurl please think before you speak for the love of god ur gonna make someone cry. Also ur mouth is foul. Have you ever spoken a sentence without a "fuck" or a "cunt" somewhere in there?! God bless.

Now for your scorpio Venus I'm just gonna say, more confirmation that ur Sexy as Fuck, scorpio venuses are just sexy, amazing partners, VERY passionate, whoever dates you will never forget you, for better or for worse you'll forever be on the back of their mind. You had a harsh emo phase huh, maybe loved some obscure shit like witchcraft or just love dressing all black like someone's mother died, i bet you wear silver jewelry a lot, maybe necklaces or rings or chockers. If this isn't how you dress now it was prob a major phase in your life. Or maybe you just love horror movies idk

Being as passionate as you are you don't take well to being mistreated or lied to, you might like to plot revenge and things like those, you wouldn't do anything... You actually prefer letting things go but you WILL make an elaborate scenario in your head at 3am or even as you stare right in the persons face.

With mars in scorpio you might be kinda passive aggressive, maybe you act like things don't really bother you but you throw a comment or two once in a while just to stir the pot bc you can't move on lmfao.

You are attracted to people that are introverts or generally just mysterious, like i said above the nature of the Sagittarius is to Learn and to Study. People that you can't immediately figure out intrigue you. All your crushes are either on geminis or water signs lmfao.

The best careers for you are the ones that allow you some freedom of either movement or expression and something that can keep your mind from flying away, something that keeps you intrigued, like research or writing. You're a very "all or nothing" person and it can sometimes scare people away, i advise you to work on compromising, being less stubborn and more open with your emotions and desires.

(part one bc I'm taking too long and I don't wanna keep you waiting so much) I'll reblog this with part 2

Alright here we go part 2 of Roasting hella until she finds out I'm hiding in her walls.

I will skip over some planets that are Very slow moving and usually don't talk about you as an individual but refer to your generation as a whole.

I wanna focus on lilith for a sec bc worstie lilith talks about our fears, our more "darker" side that we hide from ourselves as well as the people that we love. Lilith in aries in the eleventh house tells me you might be afraid to take charge, you gravitate towards positions of leadership but you let go on the last second, almost afraid to have too much control, very often self sabotaging your own success. Your anger and you own ambition might scare you, you might be afraid of appearing too aggressive bc under your skin you have a deep rooted anger and rebellion that you wish to relieve but you can't find a good enough outlet, some things soothe it but you always feel like it never leaves. It might be related to some form of resentment that you never truly dealt with and now it sits uncomfortably with you and you just can't get over it and it bothers you. You might have been shy in groups as a child, maybe you talked a lot but it was always from a fear of the silence not always because you had something to say. The eleventh house is that of groups and friends and social awareness, technology and your hopes and wishes for the future, having lilith in this house talks about someone who had a hard time feeling comfortable around people OR someone who wasn't very accepted. You might have desperately wished for friends but have found it hard to find any. Or if you did, you deep down felt very alone. I would advise to learn to accept your anger and deal with it in healthy ways instead of brushing it off and repressing it.

The north node talks about what you need to focus more in your life for example in your case with Gemini in your North node you need to focus more on your communication letting go of anxiety and your relation with other people you need to become more interested in intellectual pursuit and growth. You need to let go off the need to always be right and look more at details instead of focusing on on the bigger picture all of the time. When your North node is is in Gemini then your South node is in Sagittarius which tells me that what you should focus less on is your pursuit of freedom and your rebellion. Be more aware of your words and use them with maturity.

Now let's have some fun with the ascendent in leo which we share and now i see why ur so relatable. The first house or the ascendant is that very superficial layer of our personality, it includes the way we carry ourselves, our style, the little habits or quirks we have. One thing about leo ascendants is that we have an obsession with our hair. Hair is important to us, some have huge hair that might remind you of a lions mane, others just have very unique style or color but we ALL are lowkey or highkey obsessed with it, either constantly touching it, pulling it, chewing on it, cutting it or dying it in unique ways you name it. You might have a rather large nose or cat like eyes.

This ascendent is full of life and light, very funny, light hearted and luxurious, you want to live that good life and i don't blame you. A negative aspect is that we come of as intimidating to others. ALL of my friends AND my ex have at some point told me I was intimidating to them. It makes us prone to overcompensating for it later in life so maybe now you're super outgoing and extroverted and you approach people first and try to be super friendly. Also you're an attention whore (affectionate) with a flare for the dramatics, very flamboyant, you basically fill the room with personality, it attracts attention and you love it. You're what people would call a "sunny" person.

You're hella competitive (get it lol) and you LOVE fighting your way to the top and crushing the competition. You're probably a weirdo that low key likes school. Not the way it's run or the teachers or whatever, but the "idea" of school. If you could just learn all your life you absolutely would.

Second house in virgo. The 2nd house is the house of money, work, income, daily routines, values, material possessions, habits, work ethic ect being in virgo it means you can have an extremely good work ethic, you put a lot of thought in planning and mapping your work, you might get overly critical on your work though and often undermine your own success and efforts because they didn't fit your impossible standards. You can be very organized in your work, you want things to be a certain way and if they don't follow your plan you will Make them. Its a good position for virgo but yoh need to be aware of not overworking by trying to do Everything on your own. Let others help you, and let people in your work do their own things don't try to help if not asked to because you will overwork yourself.

The third house is that of the mind, thinking, communication, siblings, interests and early education, in your case it is in Libra which means that you're early education might not have been very stable or it was a period of time that you look back with a lot of fondness but not much substance. You are a good talker but you get lost when it comes to details, you are indecisive when it comes to settling on an opinion on something if you don't have All the facts first, you always want to be right. You are pretty open minded and easy to talk to but you might have the bad habit of rambling off topic. You change interests constantly and you prob like to talk about others, you wanna know the tea if it kills you. You prob had a crush on a childhood best friend or on a hot neighbor. Your relationship with your siblings might be pretty good, friendly, no particular resentment or anything like that, you might be the one that everyone treats a little better, people let you get away with things more often, you might be the one that takes 2 hours in the bathroom lol.

Oof fourth house in scorpio babe how are the mommy issues? 😬 How is your relationship with your femininity? Having trouble with keeping secrets? So the fourth house is the one responsible for your home roots, your family, self-care, emotions, your mother, women and your femininity and having Scorpio here tells me that you might have very strong ties to your family, but they weren't healthy or emotionally supportive. You have grown with people that might have undermined your emotions, people that didn't teach you to set healthy boundaries and maybe even manipulators and gaslighters. You might have been the type to put your foot down a lot a home, assuming a very dominant role as well as the defender. You're very private about your family life and don't want to let people too close.

Ah i just noticed u have like 3 planets in this house including ur Sun and Moon, babe this house is what you need to focus on when you go to therapy. This almost secretive, guarded approach to understanding your own emotions is very prominent in how you see yourself, how you feel and with Pluto there, how you change. I could say the biggest changes in your life have happened in these areas and they have left the biggest impacts on you. Yes you are passionate and protective but don't let bad feelings marinate forever, address them and then move on from them because they're just weighting you down.

Fifth house in sag, also the house of your mercury. This house represents Love, romance, creativity, self expression, joy and childlike spirit. It tells me the way you express your creativity is through words which makes sense since you're a great writer, but not only, the way you express Love is also through your words, expression and free thoughts are your way you tell your loved ones how much you mean to them, think poetry, long rants, music recommendations bc of specific song lyrics, you have been writing form childhood and it's one of the ways you express your view on beauty as well, to you love is freedom and freedom is expression.

Capricorn in the sixth house paired with both uranus and neptune being in it tells me there is something about your knees, joints, bones or teeth in particular that stands out when it comes to your health, maybe you tend to break your teeth, maybe you like chewing on crunchy foods, maybe your joints crack a lot, idk but I'd drink my milk if i was you, take care of your joints and bones. Also for you, being emotionally unwell often translates to being Physically unwell as well, so be mindful of your emotions because they do affect you physically. You need to keep hydrated also and your health plan needs structure for it to work bc that neptune makes everything very chaotic and uranus constantly makes you bored and wanting to spice things up. Take care of your emotional needs just as much as you would with your physical ones. And for the love of jesus be CAREFUL with alcohol or smoking because that neptune in ur health house could mean serious trouble if you let it become an addiction, don't push it.

Aquarius in the seventh house of relationships, marriage, contracts, business partners ect means you are untraditionally traditional. That makes sense in my head let me explain. Aquarius is a sign that seeks individualism desperately, it likes to feel like a special person, impossible to understand. Yet always feels comfortable in the structure of traditional and safe paths. So for example you might marry someone in a way that is not traditional but at the end of the day you wish for your marriage to have a stability you would feel safe falling into. Also it says ur gay. Air signs in the relationship house says ur gay i Make the rules.

Pisces is in the eighth house of sex, intimacy, shared finances, inheritance, taxes, loans, property, mystery, partner's resources. This tells me you fuck with feeling lmfao. Or you simply make your love life something "special", a connection that only you and ur person can share, it's what makes you an amazing lover and an unforgettable one as well. But as amazing as you are at creating a otherworldly atmosphere, ur just as shit at setting boundaries and saying something when you don't like something. You don't like to see things that you love ending and a failed relationship makes you blame yourself too much, you have the tendency to stay in situations where you are being mistreated but you tell yourself It's on you.

A recurring theme I'm seeing is some weakness when it comes to liars or manipulators in your life. So either you irrationally fear people are lying to you because you "lie" to them about yourself or a lot of people in your childhood might have used lying or gaslighting as a way to keep you under control. I would advise to try not to overthink and become paranoid, people love you and they believe in you and they aren't deceiving you, they don't secretly mean something different from what they have said. Listen to your intuition about people sure, but don't confuse it with anxiety.

With lilith and aries in the 9th house of travel and higher education and religion I'm gonna assume you might have religious trauma. Religion might have been a way that people used to try and control you, if not religion then some form of system or government law. Being queer i completely understand the sentiment but in your case it's take a step further because you Value the ideals of this house so much, with lilith here, it's like at som point in your life you were finally awakened to how much injustice there was in the world ant that has made you very inclined to take action, you cannot stand unjust government or non tolerating religions. You might have felt crushed under an unjust system and it took you a lot of will and conviction to find your individuality and build yourself how you wanted once you were free.

Your midheaven in taurus tells me you are one that will achieve any goals you set your mind to. It might take you time, you might procrastinate around it, but at the end of the day, you will do it and you will do it well and it will be rewarding. If your father isn't a Taurus then he was a stable figure in your life, very much a rock for better or for worse. In your career life people will see you as very competent, very down to earth and helpful but you know you just procrastinated till the last second possible and stayed up all night do finish your work... You will seek careers that you believe will guarantee you stable income and a comfortable life. You might indulge in luxury from time to time because you think in order to get the position you want at work you need to look the part. Ultimately it's your sheer stubbornness and spite that gets you all the way up to the top of the food chain.

The eleventh house of groups, friendships, humanitarianism, and social awareness is in your case in gemini. It tells me you value friendship extremely and you surround yourself with a diverse cast of friends, you couldn't mix your different friend groups if you tried and you have tried. You have the habit of being too friendly to everyone which makes you end up with more friends than you know what to do with. You are approachable but people can get the impression that you are putting up a show or a facade and your emotions arent genuine, it's not always the case but you need to be more truthful and assertive, put some boundaries and don't let people get away with shit you don't like. Your public persona is very well liked, seen as fun and bright and smart and overall a joy to be around.

Now that last placement... 12th house cancer, i have the same placement and babe I'm sorry for all the shit you have been through. You deserve the freedom to be unhappy and to express that unhappiness in healthy ways. You deserve to be given unconditional love and support no matter how many mistakes you say you have made no matter how overly pessimistic you are about yourself it doesn't matter you're amazing and i love you and you deserve the world.

With jupiter the planet of expansion in the 12th house of endings, spirituality, solitude and karma?! Gurl i did say u were a cult leader but i didn't think it was astrologically backed up rippp. But it also says you might have a hard time getting the motivation to finish things, you might take a long time to finish a project. This house placements also tells me you're amazing at writing emotional ass fantasy stories which by now we have confirmed, but if you have like, an original idea for a book don't hesitate to get it started babe bc u have a very promising placement for that. Don't get too dragged into a sad whirlpool of emotions and daydreams but bring your creative ideas to life and you'll be fine.

This is all I'm doing today and i think it's enough lol. I'm posting this I'm sorry to my followers for the long ass post I'll tag it so you can filter it. This was a whole psycho-astrological analysis of our favourite writer Hellspawn1975. I have wanted to study her like a new lizard species for a while and i finally got the chance thank you hella for the opportunity.

Final words to @hella1975 i hate you and I'll fuck ur mom tomorrow, gn babe <3

[threeletterslife]

ChANA!! I had a weird dream last night where you deactivated your Tumblr and I was like TT TT luckily I wake up and go "ah nevermind"... but ngl I was still kinda paranoid when I googled your Tumblr today 🤡 also, i'm reALLY EXCITED THAT YOU POSTED FLEETING FOREVERS OMG I'M SO EXCITED TO READ IT!! Does that mean you're back from your trip (and if yes, how was it :0)? Also... I'm a little late ;-; but could I send in two questions from the ask game? F, K, U, and V? If you're no longer answering 1

2 them, that's okay too heh. :] I hope you're having a nice day! ~🌻

ok wait sORRY I'M A CLOWN FJDSLFJDLFJD FLEETFOR HAS BEEN POSTED FOR SO LONG AND I NEVER REALIZED UM- sorry I'm just going to go sleep now because my brain has been *fried* for so long now jfdlfjoeiwjlsidjfdslfj 🌻

AHHH A DREAM THAT I DE-ACTIVATED MY BLOG?? goodbYE 😭😭 good news, though! it's safe to say that um, that's not gonna happen any time soon! i have too many things planned for this blog at the moment!

aLsO HAHA yes my lil break is basically coming to an end since i’m gonna start posting next week again! after my trip from florida i was writing nonstop to catch up 😭😭and my trip was GREAT! florida is so nice omg. i went to key west, miami and orlando; key west turned out to be my absolute favorite!!

LMAO OF COURSE IT’S NOT TOO LATE TO SEND QUESTIONS!! 

F. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it

omg this was hard. i’m very bad at remembering what i’ve written, so i had to do some digging to find a scene i’m genuinely proud of. (maybe it’s my own bias but my yoongi fics’ dialogue kinda hit differently?????)

"Why are you even here again?"

You pause. Actually, why are you here? You could've just simply walked away and never had this conversation with Yoongi. But you'd stopped. And now you're talking with him. You answer him truthfully. "I really have no idea."

Another pause.

"Are you gonna ask me to leave?"

"... No."

"Oh." You cock your head. "Okay."

The two of you stare at each other. A staring game commences.

But Yoongi blinks first, claiming you the victor of the little contest. "You can stay if you want."

You scoff. "Excuse me, I didn't know I needed your permission."

Yoongi throws his hands up in the air. "Do you always have to fucking pick a fight?"

"You're the one who starts them!"

"I didn't even say anything mildly rude."

—propinquity (law of seesaw)

originally, i was gonna pick an angstier quote, but i’m actually quite proud of this scene!! i think it really encompasses the ‘enemies’ portion of enemies to lovers, all the while hinting at something more (especially with yoongi suggesting that oc can stay with him)

K. What’s the angstiest idea you’ve ever come up with?

LOL the angstiest idea i’ve ever come up with??? HOW CAN I CHOOSE? at first, i was like, the exam. because, i mean, it’s sad. but then?? i was like... okay but don’t look back... but then no, because i totally forgot about where the colors fade. and then i thought about it some more and realized a whole ass before the looking glass exists. in conclusion, there is no conclusion 💀 especially because my angstiest idea is still in my drafts 👀👀

U. Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much

@jimlingss @inktae @readyplayerhobi 

all three writers are so, so talented!! i really appreciate writers who write angst—but the angst is so angsty that you can literally feel the words rip your heart in two 😩their plots, characterizations, obvious eloquence are just a fEW of their best qualities. you can find a lot of their fics on my recs page

V. If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

shit that’s hard. i’m not a huge fan of sequels or prequels so it took a while for me to come up with some ideas LOL. my number one choice, however, would be the sequel to game of temptation, by kina! i’m super invested in that universe, and ever since i finished reading it, i always wondered how the future events would actually play out

[strainingfororiginality]

Chapter 11.1 - Sacrifice

Creep - Kina Grannis

Just like an angel

Your skin makes me cry

You float like a feather

In a beautiful world

I wish I was special

You're so very special

But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo

What the hell am I doing here?

I don't belong here

I don't care if it hurts

I want to have control

I want a perfect body

I want a perfect soul

And I want you to notice

When I'm not around

The woman sighed as she looked upon the massive blank page before her. She glared at the paints that she had painstakingly organized on the table to her right while she was procrastinating. She picked up one of the brushes, still never used, and she squinted at it, testing its perky tip with her curious finger before setting it back down on the table. She tapped her right index finger on the hardback book next to the brushes and considered looking through it again. She read the title again and again: "Oil Painting: A Comprehensive Approach to Mastering the Medium."

Mastering? Hmmmm. She had always wanted to learn how to paint. There was no doubt she could learn to master it. She had been able to master anything she wanted, given enough effort, but … was she really this bored? Nah, it wasn’t boredom to want to learn a creative art, was it? No, it wasn’t boredom at all. She was restless. Relentlessly restless.

She left the table and walked to the expansive windows of the condo and stared out across the bustling and lively city of New York below her. Opening the door to her private balcony, she stepped out into the warm summer air and closed her eyes as the sun beat against her perfect, blemish-free complexion. As she took a deep breath in of the exhaust-filled air, the tiniest of breezes dislodged several of her dark amber hairs from the french braid upon her head and tickled her face as it danced across her flawless skin. Never looking down, she stared out directly at the twin building on the other side of the street and she ran her hand along the "X" that was etched into the railing.

It had been there ever since she moved in … at least that’s what she recalled. The realtor had explained away the mark as the result of the previous owners’ children, but as her finger tips prodded the grooves etched deep into the metal, she knew better than that. Didn’t she?

As always, when her mind wandered over the inconsistencies of the present, something would rock her back to the reality of this world. Her phone vibrated in her pocket as it received yet another text message. The wind gusted again and she pulled her light jacket around her, crossing her arms over her chest giving one last look at the skyline before returning to the safety of the indoors.

She considered not responding yet as she stared at the phone screen, but what the hell else was she going to do? Paint? Hmmm. Hmmmmm.

3 Unread Messages. Each one at least five minutes apart. He obviously struggled with each message sent. She had never had a man give so much thought or concern with how they would interact with her. It was almost nice, if it didn’t feel so off. She read them in order.

Missed you at class Monday night. Tsk tsk.

Anyways, hope to see you tonight.

xxx -Ron

She bit back the giggle that nearly escaped. Who signs their text messages with their names anyways? She would need to teach him a bit more about technology, she supposed. He was very sweet though. Very successful. Very smart. Very … hot. Ok yeah, too hot. Waaaay too hot. It actually made her uncomfortable. It all made her feel … wrong. This wasn’t the type of man who would like her, but as she walked towards the bedroom, bypassing the responsibility of the blank canvas, she caught a glimpse of herself in the reflection of the TV and accepted she was remarkably attractive by every standard that counted. Lovely even.

Just lovely or was she actually beautiful? No, not just that, she was nearly perfect. Yes, she was. She deserved this, didn’t she? She did. She assured herself and focused her attention back on the phone.

Will be there. Thanks for the reminder. xxx

She typed in the quick response to assure her new sensei she would indeed be at class tonight … maybe? Likely? She had see. She hadn’t meant to miss the last class, but she had drunk a bit too much again.

Hmmm. There was a thought. Drink? She stared at the filled wine rack across the open condo and then looked at the time. 2 pm. Well, it is after noon, so … Class wasn’t until 6 pm. Maybe just one glass? Eh, why the fuck not? Maybe it would help her get started on … painting. She had always wanted to learn how to paint, right?

Sure … why the hell not?

There wasn’t anything else to do, besides … her head was killing her … again.

Destiny Awakens - Missing in Action

"Sir!?" The Bene Elohim screamed up at the Left Hand of God over the sound of the debris hitting the cobblestone paths. “Where have you been?!?”

Uriel landed softly onto the road and tucked his Elohim wings tightly against his back before turning to face his captain. "What’s going on?" He screamed back as a flash of lightning sparked across the entirety of the sky and he looked up. At first he attempted to shield his eyes from its insane brightness with his hand, but Uriel had to close his eyes from the pain of it. The electricity arched, the brilliant white slowly faded and he could see two discernable colors left before it faded out entirely. Purple and amber.

The sound that erupted from the show of power was less like thunder and more like an explosion. Its volume caused Uriel, and all the watchers present, to cover their ears in a vain attempt drowned out the noise, but Uriel squinted at the pain regardless, fighting the urge to double over from it.

Then the clouds above parted as a tiny object broke through, torpedoing across the sky before slamming with impressive force against the southernmost spiral of the citadel. The brick of the tower disintegrated from the hit and the structure crumbled. The object continued its trajectory down onto the ground below, cratering it as it struck.

Uriel squinted and watched. He considered flying over until he saw Gabriel crawl out of the hole. The Hayyoth looked up into the sky as it began to glow brighter and brighter in violet intensity and there was a wicked grin on his face before the angel dove to the right with incredible speed as a marvelously thick lightning bolt barreled down from the sky directly above him, striking the ground where he was standing.

"What in the heaven …" Uriel whispered as The Messenger was airbore again. He followed the angel’s flash of flight back up into the clouds just as another figure broke through the same cloud from which Gabriel had first plummeted. Uriel squinted again and his mouth fell agape.

"Sir … is that …" The captain’s questions trailed off as it was obvious who it was. The Traveller and the Messenger were … fighting?

The clouds filled with a flurry of purple light as Gabriel came into contact with his little brother. Another explosion rang and both figures hurled back out of sight, through the clouds, clasped together as they disappeared into the sky.

"What do we do?!" The desperation in the captain’s voice was clear and Uriel was at a loss.

He reached out with his mind, but the Nexus was still cut off. First Michael, then Ozryel, and now …

Shaking his head, he never ripped his eyes from the sky as he address his men. "Stay out of their way?" Was that a question? Should it be an order? What the hell was going on?! The pair appeared again, still entangled together as they shot down into the heart of the citadel and buildings collapsed all around them. “Evacuate the citadel. Move everyone to the outskirts …”

"Stay out of their way, Sir?" The captain doubted the first statement. “But, shouldn’t we help them?”

"Uh …" Uriel looked at the man with utter confusion. “And which one would you suggest we help?”

"Shotgun!" Dutch belted as everyone exited the factory again. Quinlan was hopeful this would be the last time. “I call shotgun!” She screamed out again, to ensure everyone heard her loud and clear. As she made her way toward the front seat of the car, Quinlan was already there, opening the door and her nostrils flared at him. “No way dude, I said shotgun first. Them’s the rules.”

"Even if I knew what that meant ..." It was clear Quinlan knew exactly what her intent was and he grinned as he pulled the door open for himself. “I’ll be riding in front.”

"That is totally not fair." Her look of disappointment was quite satisfying but Barqan approached and Quinlan shifted his attention.

"I think this is a good time for us to part ways, Prince of Snakes." Barqan stepped forward and offered a hand to him. “As always, it has been a pleasure. Perhaps the next time we meet, it will be with less … violence.”

The dhampir looked down at the palm and ignored it, only smiling in return. "You are coming with us, Black King. I apologize if that was … unclear."

"Prince ... “ Barqan laughed off the order. Quinlan thought he might try to exert some dominance eventually, but he hadn’t expected it so soon. He found it quite brazen of the Djinn. “Our charge .. “ He waved at the the braves. Wait, was his intention to also take Quinlan’s animal soldiers? Hmmm. “... is to protect the gate, and I don’t see--"

"Your gate is contained in the world, yes?" Quinlan interjected. Barqan squinted at the dhampir, waiting for his logic to make sense. “Therefore, I would think that protecting the world includes your precious gate, does it not?”

"Of course, but if you fail, we will require more help than the Onondaga or my brethren can provide. The gate must remain open for the Army of Heaven to be able to march--"

"Correct me if I am wrong, but it is my understanding that the entire Army of Heaven was unable to do much against the Rainbow Child during his first assault. Is that not true?" Barqan’s silence answered his question. “However, speaking of your hidden brethren, we will likely require their help. It was suggested to me to find ...” Quinlan closed his eyes and pawed through his muddy memories of the moments before Raphael sent him back to be reborn. The pain had clouded much. “Raum, the Merciful?”

"That … will not be possible, I am afraid." Barqan’s eyes fell to the ground and he shook his head solemnly. His voice rumbled with grief. “Before she took me, I was informed of his passing.”

"He is … dead?" Quinlan questioned. “Are you certain? I was told by a trusted source that he was--”

"Oh yes. He is very dead. I beared witness to his end." Thomas chimed in and both men stared at the strigoi with horrified curiosity. How would … he know? Unless …

"You were there?" Quinlan asked. Damnation. “Was it Dawn?”

"It was the Morning Star." Thomas corrected, but explained further. “She was not in control at the time.”

"I was told they retrieved only two bodies from the rubble of my brother’s house in Rome." Barqan explained. “It was my brother, The White King, and … Raum. After the news broke.” This pained Barqan greatly. “I was on my way back to the camp when … she came for me next. But there are hundreds of souls unaccounted for. No bodies, no--”

"It was …" Thomas swallowed. “It was a massacre … unlike anything I have ever seen. And … I have seen many terrible things.”

Damnation. How bad had it gotten? Quinlan remembered the blood in the cabin and his desire to get moving was now stronger than ever. No further delays. "Into the car, Black King. This is not up for any discussion." Quinlan’s need to find her burned even brighter and as his emotional state flared, a flicker of purple electricity danced across his cold gray eyes.

Fet picked up on the display immediately. "Uh … Dat’s new …"

Indeed.

"You said you crossed over with … Divine Aid?" Barqan tilted his head to the right, peering with concern into the dhampir’s face. “I thought you said Ozryel helped you escape from Heaven. What are you keeping from us?”

Quinlan ignored the inquiry completely and pointed to the car. "I hate to repeat myself. Ride in the backseat or the boot. I leave the choice to you, Great Fire. Little Bear, we will take the lead. Follow closely." Quinlan called out orders in rapid fire. “Mr. Jacks, I apologize, it is quite cold, but would you mind remaining in the open to keep an eye out?” The hawk-man nodded without hesitation and leapt back into the bed of George’s truck. “You … with us.” He pointed to Thomas, not even affording him a name. “It will be a long ride and I have many questions. Gus--”

"I’m with the braves." The Boxer interrupted Quinlan, offering the same solution that Quinlan was about to give him and still not looking into his face. The attitude continued to concern the dhampir, but there was no time for it now. As Dutch started to march back towards the truck with Gus, Quinlan called out to her. “Mrs. Fet. You are with us.”

She turned and eyed Barqan, who was now smiling at the proposal and then she glared at Thomas who was already opening the passenger door. "Uhhh … That’s alright, love. I can ride with--"

"Mrs. Fet." Quinlan repeated, pointing to the truck. “There is no room in that vehicle and … I wish to be apprised of your geolocations real time. Please.”

"Fine. Whatever. I ain’t ridin’ in the middle between those two though." She pouted and Barqan frowned. Quinlan didn’t fault her for not wanting to ride in the backseat with the two non-humans, but this was the situation they were in.

"See! Told ya we shoulda got da van!" Fet shot her a dimpled grin over the roof of the car. This comment implied there had been some discussion of their rental car choice and Dutch had likely won the argument.

"Bloody hell … are you still on about that?!? There were only three of us! What the hell would we need an entire van for?" She complained. “And there were only gonna be four.”

"Ya!" Fet laughed. “And now der’s eight!” He pulled the driver’s side open and slid in, shaking his head as he sat. “Always be prepared, yeah? Always go for da van. From now on …”

Children.

They were all still children

… and he had missed them dearly.

Ghostblade - MythFox

"Sir?" The private stood straight as a board at the door, rapping on the frame gently to get the busy man’s attention.

Swiveling his office chair around, he met the soldier’s gaze and nodded, waving him in. "Did we get anything?"

"Yes, sir." The army-fatigued man handed a few printed pages to the senior agent and began to give a report as Smith looked over the maps. “Preliminary imagery from the location of the latest spike shows two vehicles. Both of which are now northbound. It looks like they are heading out of the contamination area.”

"Any idea where?" He flicked to the next page, which was a top down view of a factory and two tiny vehicles parked at it. As he flicked to the next page, the satellite imagery was shown zoomed even further on the same scene and a number of figures stood around the vehicles.

"Possibly Philadelphia, sir? There’s not much up else that way."

As the agent turned to the final page, he cringed. One of the figures looked ominously familiar to him. Even their best satellite imagery couldn’t make out strong details, but one of them was definitely slender, feminine, and blonde. "Velders." He glanced over at her confiscated laptop sitting on the bookshelf of his office. The words: “Anarchy Forever” etched into the cover of it. He had been waiting for this. He had been waiting for her to resurface. It was only a matter of time. “Just couldn’t stay away, could you?” He spoke down to the images and then turned his attention back to the waiting soldier. “Are we still tracking them?”

"Yes, sir."

"Ready the chopper. I wanna be there for this."

"Shouldn’t you stay here, sir? Until--"

"If she’s resurfaced, then it can’t be a good sign for any of us." He stood and grabbed his jacket from the chair, swinging it onto his back.

The soldier swallowed deeply and shuffled with nervous gestures as he spoke next. "Sir, one more thing."

"Yeah?"

"Preliminary autopsy reports from the bodies found at the location of the first spike came back."

"And?" Smith pushed.

"All four bodies were completely drained, with obvious signs of a strigoi attack. The location of the wounds and saliva are consistent. We’re still waiting for DNA to confirm, but ..."

"Ok?" The agent shrugged. Even with access to Velder’s strigoi tracking code, the infestation across the globe was proving to be difficult to eradicate. “And?”

"But … there were zero signs of the pathogen in their systems, sir. None at all and there were never any signs of transformation or reanimation or--"

"Are you shitting me, private?" Smith laughed out loud and the soldier looked at him with confusion. “You’re fucking with me, right?”

"No, sir." The man looked confused. “Does that mean something? We’ve never seen--”

"Yes. Yes we have, soldier." Smith explained, slapping a hand on the man’s back. “At Fort Detrick, before it fell.” He looked back at the figures on the blurry satellite photo and he tapped on the one that looked like it was hooded. “Oh boy, this day just keeps getting better and better.”

"Sir?"

"Have them run the DNA found against Subject Echo Tango and then ready a full team. I want everything we have in Philadelphia immediately. Snipers, drones, even call in the locals … everything. Understood?"

"Just for … two vehicles, sir?"

"Did I stutter, private?"

"No, sir."

Slow Hands - Niall Horan

No, no chance

That I'm leaving here without you on me

I, I know

Yeah, I already know that there ain't no stoppin'

Your plans

The private terminal was nearly empty; only a few people were scattered about, meandering while they waited patiently and impatiently for their flights. At least Philadelphia still had some life left in it and apparently plenty of money. He walked into the warm building and quickly scanned the minds of all those present.

That one right there. An older gentlemen. A shrewd businessman. He was the richest man present and his plane was being fueled for Bangladesh. This man liked women quite a bit. EL peeled back his memories and ran through scenarios to try. EL really didn’t want to have to fly himself. The task was obviously beneath him. There were much better things to do with his time, weren’t there?

He approached without giving much thought to the condition of her appearance, nor to the strangeness of the staff is her hand.

"Hey there." EL smiled. Should it be suggestive? Should he wink? How pleasant should he be? He had never actually tried to seduce anyone before, but he was sure he could muddle his way through this. Pointing to the empty cushion on the leather loveseat beside the fool, he tried his warmest and most genuinely fake smile. “Is this seat taken? Mind if I join you?”

"Sorry." Looking up from his newspaper, the gentleman, in his tailored suit and expensive watch, surveyed her up and down, his eyes judging every single inch of her with disdain. “I think I’d prefer to sit alone.”

Wait … what? Was he serious?

EL wasn’t being ignorant, but this reaction had just never occurred to him. She was cute. Downright adorable, in fact. She had many qualities that one should find desirable, but this human only chose to focus on the bits he disliked and the extreme level of scrutiny that ran across the man’s mind sent pangs of fury brewing into the Morningstar’s chest.

EL urged himself to remain calm. He could destroy the man’s soul. Fuck. He could destroy every soul in this terminal, but … stealth mode. The Traveller would be on him like a fucking hawk if he showed any amount of power right now.

Too old.

This man was her senior by 18 years. This man was old enough to be her goddamn father. EL refused the urge to shake her damn head.

Too short.

Who the hell was this man kidding? Who was he lying to? Himself? He liked Asian women and most of those conquests had actually been shorter than her. EL played them over in his mind and cringed slightly. Ugh.

Lesbian haircut.

Her hair was actually longer than his.

Too fat.

Wow. This one shocked EL. She was actually much skinnier than EL thought she should be. But given the man’s propensity for Asian women, maybe this one wasn’t shocking at all. Also, this man was easily thirty to forty pounds overweight himself. Fucking gross. Hypocritical asswi--

Is that a mop handle?

This did not look like a fucking mop handle. This was a GODDAMN CELESTIAL WEAPON.

Is that Duct Tape on her pants?

Yes. Yes it was. EL grinned uncontrollably. Maybe he should have found a tiny black dress to wear instead? Impractical.

Wait, is that … blood on her ear?

Whoops. Yeah, that one was all EL’s fault. Ending the man in the truck had been messier than he expected. His intention had just been to snap the man’s neck, but he used far too much strength. EL wiped the drop from her lobe quickly as he stared at the man with growing frustration. This man was repugnant, but his soul was shades of gray lighter than the dark that would require him to go straight to hell. Most of the people in this building fit into that same category. Hmmmm. He urged himself to remain patient again.

"I’m too short, huh?" It slipped out before he could catch it. “Who the fuck are you lying to, Robert Peter? Yourself?”

Whoops. The man adjusted with unease as his first and middle name slipped out of her mouth and he looked around, trying to spy a security guard as he folded his newspaper and flung it down on the table before him. "I think you should leave-"

"Listen, Bob. Let’s have a conversation, Gentleman to Gentleman, yes?" EL eased down into the seat the man had refused him. It would be necessary to take a different approach. Fair enough. He’d prefer it this way, in fact. “I’m in need of a ride, and lucky for you … you’re in the position to give it to me. I think you’ll find it’s in both of our best interests to be compliant in this matter.”

"In my best interests?" The man scoffed. “I don’t think you know who you are deal--”

"Do I not?" EL peeled apart his memories, looking for something to use. “Robert Peter Dupree? CEO of Baltic Sea Enterprises? Husband and father of three. Born in Iowa to Betty and Steph--”

"It’s definitely time for you to leave." Now the man was fully angry and he stood up, looking around for someone to remove EL.

"I wonder … does Sarah know your propensity for younger women?" EL knew she didn’t, or at least Robert didn’t know if she knew and that’s all that mattered. “How’s her chemotherapy going, by the way? Did she get into that drug trial?” She actually had, and EL knew it. “I wonder what the stress of this would--”

The man laughed out loud. "Ah, I see. You want to extort me?" He shook his head and EL relished in his ignorance.

"Exort? No, no, no. This is definitely more blackmail, wouldn't you say?" EL patted the leather cushion next to her body, inviting the man to sit back down. “The younger the better, right, Bob?” EL knew he hated that name. Only Robert’s older brother got away with calling him that.

The man’s right eye twitched slightly and his hand went up, finally flagging down the guard that had just re-entered the terminal from the bathroom. "I’ve had enough of this …"

"And the young girl in Montreal?"

EL licked his lips as the man pointed at down at him. "Wait just a fucking minute there … that was--"

"Wait … How old was she again?" The Devil laughed and scratched her chin with growing amusement. He enjoyed this game. He enjoyed the look on the man’s face. He enjoyed winning. “Was it 16 or 15? Or was it younger? I forget ...”

"That was not my fault … “ The man’s eyes flashed wider. “She said she was--"

"She said, or was it her pimp that said? I forget the details ..."

"You … you have no proof." The man spat. So certain because he had made sure it was all destroyed. All the proper people had been paid off and … there was just no way.

"I mean, Sarah might forgive you. Your kids won’t though. Children can be such fickle assholes … trust me. But … would your shareholders forgive you?"

EL leaned back and relaxed as the guard stood before them. A look of pure innocence graced his face as he waited for the man’s decision.

"Sir, is there a problem here?" The guard prodded while the man stared in horror.

Robert took a quiet moment to consider the situation and he watched an evil grin spread wider across her lovely spotted face.

"Sir?" The guard pressed again.

"No." Good boy. Good, good, good boy. “No, sorry. Just a misunderstanding. We’re fine.”

Once they were alone again, EL patted the cushion beside him, actually giving the man a little wink this time.

"What do you want from me?" As the man surrendered to the seat, he looked down at his empty palms, guilt washing over him. “Money?”

"Like I said before, Bob, I just need a ride." He pulled the glasses from her face, revealing his beautiful yet terrifying eyes as he patted the man on the back. “And then you’ll never see me again. Swear to GOD.” EL made an cross over her heart as he lied.

They’d all see him again.

Every soul on this planet would see him again.

He planned on it.

Every soul would see his face the instant before as he would erase them all from existence …

"Don’t tell people that." Michael shook his head, chastising his other as he watched the Onondaga eye them with growing suspicion. After the initial shock of their arrival wore off, they finally afforded the two Thunders a moment of solitude to rest. Michael, more so than Ozryel, required a moment to reflect and heal from what just occurred to him, both physically and emotionally. His divinity slowly pooling with in his soul, he struggled with the sadness that brewed in his chest and he relaxed fully in the chair they had ushered him to when he nearly collapsed to the dirt.

"Why not?" Ozryel shrugged innocently, defying her brother’s advice. “It’s the truth. I am the Angel of Death.”

"It doesn’t make people want to help us. You know that."

"Or perhaps …" She grinned devilishly. “It makes them even more inclined to help us.”

Michael shook his head and Barbara approached them with hesitation. Her eyes watching Ozryel with unease. "You feelin’ better now, Great Thunder? Mind if I bother you again?" Michael didn’t have to read her mind to pick up her condescension; it was rich in her voice. She had bombarded him with questions immediately after their arrival and he had dismissed her. Now that he was sitting and able to catch his breath, she began again. “Any idea where Our Great Fire is?”

"I know where he was, Barbara." Michael cracked his neck as he spoke. He understood the woman cared for the Djinn and he could appreciate her concern. “Just give me a few moments and we’ll go see if he’s still there.”

"If you would just tell us, we can--" She began to argue.

"We’ll get there much faster than you, my dear, even if you afford us the moments we require to … re-ground ourselves." Ozryel interrupted and the deer clan mother shot her a particularly nasty look. “Please, just give us a longer moment.”

The woman grumbled something in their native language under her breath and stepped away, though not far, maintaining an eye on their new visitors.

"OOoooo." Ozryel gritted her teeth and shook her head. “She does not like you, little brother.” She then looked around at everyone else eyeing her suspiciously.

"Yeah well …" Michael shrugged. “That makes two of us then, huh?”

"What?" Ozryel spun and scraped at their minds. “What on Earth did I do--”

"What on Earth? Are you serious? Oz …" Michael sighed. “You tried to take over the world!” He waved at her face. “They knew they were fighting a rogue Thunder last year. It’s pretty damn obvious--”

"So what?" She scoffed on the implication, refusing his explanation. “How do they know it was me?”

"Come on, Oz … you look just like your little meat puppets."

"Well … shit." She touched her face and then sneered in disappointment, resisting the urge to kick the medium-sized rock at her feet in a childish display of frustration. “Humans aren’t known for their overly forgiving nature. Well … that wasn’t me.” Michael stared at her and raise an eyebrow. “What? It wasn’t! How many times do I need to repeat mysel--”

"I don’t suppose you’d be willing to help us out a little while you’re waiting?" Barbara was back already, asking as she pointed at the blown over tents around the immediate area. Their impact had done more damage than just the crater on the ground.

"Help you out?" Ozryel was taken back by the request. “What? You want us to help you put up tents?” She was slightly insulted. They had no time for that! “Good lord, we really must be on our way.”

"It doesn’t look like you’re going anywhere right now." Barbara thrust a chin towards Michael, never breaking eye contact with Ozryel. The look on this woman’s face terrified Oz and a chill ran down her spine. Ooooof.

"Well … we’ll only be a minute." Oz tried to explain. “Then we’ll be off to find your Great Fire and my son and everything will be--.”

"Your son?" Barbara grinned slightly. “You mean … Baldy?”

This peaked Ozryel’s interest and she turned to face the woman with her full attention, her red eyes wide with excitement. "You’ve seen Quintus?!"

"Oh yeah …" Barbara waved her hand toward the parking lot. “He came through here a couple of hours ago. Made a phone call and tore outta here. That son of a bitch …” Barbara hesitated and the two women glared at each other over the subtle insult. “... took my three best soldiers with him.”

Ozryel beamed now as she clapped greedily and rubbed her hands together. "He’s here! He’s corporeal again!!! Come on, brother …" She turned and pulled Michael to his feet, very much against his own will. “Up and Adam, Leftie! We’re going now!”

"Oz …" Michael could do little against her strength, but he struggled to maintain his own posture as he stumbled slightly in his stance. “We need to take a minute. We don’t even know where to go …”

"We’re going to find Quintus. He couldn’t have gotten very far. You alright to fly, or would you like me to carry you? I’d actually prefer not to carry you, if that is possible--"

Her zeal frustrated him and he gripped his forehead. "Quintus is not the reason we’re here. We need to worry about Dawn and the Rainbow Child. I know that you want to--"

"That is precisely why we must find my child, you fool." Her tone had shifted dramatically and he stared into her serious eyes, his own face full of confusion. “Right now … reasoning with your child is the only thing that matters and I have severe doubts that she will listen to anything …” She waved at his body, pointing out his current weakened state. “Either one of us will have to say.”

"She’ll listen to reason." Michael spat back. “She isn’t a fool--”

"Reason?" Ozryel balked. “Because she listened to reason before, didn’t she? Have you not already tried to reason with her?”

The glare from her other was undeniably menacing and he gritted his teeth, sneering as he spoke. "Stay out of my mind, Ozryel." The only way she would know that is if she had taken it from his memories, like she had.

"Psh. Whatever, Goldie Locks." She waved off his burgeoning anger. “Your mind is like an open book to me. Always and forever, just as it should be.”

"Ozryel!" He took a step forward, but he knew was in no shape to even threaten to challenge her. He also knew he was in an irrational state over … everything … that had just occurred. “I’m warning you.”

"Oh … do you want to fight me now, Brother?" She stepped forward and challenged his obvious bluff, poking him violently in his sternum with her index finger and he stumbled back down into the chair behind him. “I know you are hurting. I know you grieve. I can feel it.” She gripped her own chest. “But that doesn’t make my words any less true and you know this.”

Michael was full of so much anger and frustration. Yes. He did know her words were true. He knew her logic was sound, but he argued still. "She is what matters right now … not him. You are letting your own love cloud--"

"Yes. Precisely. She is the only thing that matters right now, Brother, and he is the only person she will hear. As much as you don’t want them to love, as much as you long to control that. You can’t. And the more you try to push your own agenda upon her, the more you will push her away, My Gloriously Spotted One."

"Gah." Michael tried to wave it off, but Ozryel continued.

"She is as defiant as they come. Trust me, for I have experienced that fact personally."

"Fine." Michael surrendered to the logic of her statements. “So what do you wanna do? You just wanna fly around, looking for him like a pair of fucking vultures?” She furrowed her brows at his words. “He could be hundreds of miles away by now and very likely is, the little shit … I wouldn’t even know what direction to start.”

"If we are within a closer distance, I can reach his mind …" Oz looked up into the sky as she scratched the back of her neck.

"Uh ... Or … " Barbara was talking again and Ozryel swung around dramatically to express her continued annoyance at the woman’s presence. The deer clan mother was waving her phone towards the two arguing Thunders. “How about I just call them?”

[rarestereocats]

rundown of last night’s game!

we make our way to the last town of this mission.  before arrival,  i talk to Ilyana about my cousin,  Cat,  a bit and gift her her stuffed unicorn,  Princess Strawberry.  she notes that PS is actually blue,  to which i say that Cat was color-blind so #canon.  Industria also shares some of her chocolate stash with us all,  so hell yeah.

Carson,  while not as bad as some of the other towns,  still has no guards watching over,  so we head on in and are flooded by beggars.  Tenin does what he does and scares them off,  but Xaren calls one guy back to give our spiel and then we’re pointed to some fields to camp out in.  we camp the fuck out and gather up to alert the townsfolk and Thompson just comes out of nowhere with a fucking giant cowbell.

obviously stunned,  i gotta know where it came from.  family heirloom apparently,  but we all reluctantly turn down more cowbell and he’s a little disappointed by that.  as we have the day to ourselves,  he suggests we start a band.  jokingly going along with it,  Thompson thinks we’re serious and so,  the band is born.  there’s Thompson with the cowbell,  Elliot with the flute,  Elathera with the tambourine,  and Industria with her lyre and angelic voice.  oh and me being a stage mom.

the band surprisingly is not a disaster despite this odd combination of instruments and they rock the fucking crowd here at the camp.  as we do this,  Xaren goes to gather the townsfolk in a completely normal way and encounters an actual authentic redneck.  he gives the man a gold and is told to pass the word around about our camp,  but this dude wants to know what the catch is.  with no catch,  he hands Xaren his gold back and tells him that he just bought his freedom.

the man then goes on about having the last cow in town.  get all the milk you want and all that,  just come to my creepy barn.  Xaren gives a firm “no” to that and goes to leave,  but on the way back,  decides to peer into the barn anyways.  despite the implications that there’s something terribly wrong with the redneck,  there is indeed a cow in that barn and a lamp.  and the redneck rambling on about doing whatever it takes to get her that goddamn cowbell.

i decide to stir up drama before he returns cuz Thompson asks me what Xaren thinks of him.  instead of being an Honest Abe,  i tell him that Xaren doesn’t hate him.  in fact,  quite the opposite!  he’s got a crush on you,  Tommy.  Thompson is surprised,  but ecstatic and i realize that i’m gonna get my ass beat,  but i’m in it now,  folks.  when Xaren returns,  Thompson and his now inflated ego approach Xaren.

Industria and Elathera who heard me to tell Thompson that fake news pull each other aside to talk about it and wonder if they should tell Samuel.  with me panicking in the background,  Industria realizes what i’ve done,  but Elathera hasn’t caught on yet.  Thompson wants to netflix and chill,  but Xaren isn’t catching on either and says he’s gonna go chill with his actual boyfriend.  Thompson tells Xaren that i told him how he feels about him and now it finally clicks.

Xaren’s eyes seek me out and i go to hide,  but he Sees All.  i cannot hide from his fury now and as the truth comes out,  Thompson is shot down and feels like an asshole, but Xaren assures him that the only asshole here is me.  oops!  with Xaren storming over,  i climb up into the tree as he yells for me to come down.  Samuel walks onto the scene cuz obviously this is mildly concerning.  i still refuse to come down,  so Xaren has Samuel hoist him up to the branch so he can have a chat.

Tenin is also concerned and needs to know if it’s corndog time and i yell for him to save me,  but realizing he would probably cleave through Xaren with no hesitation if he thought this was an actual fight,  we calm him down and send him away.  as Xaren gets his balance on the branch,  i dart off higher into the tree to be a weenie.  he calls Thompson over and makes me apologize,  so i do so but not before lying and convincing them all that i misunderstood the situation.

he pulls my tail to get me down and i scream cuz excuse me,  my tail is sensitive,  so he gives up that pursuit and settles for climbing up to grab me.  i reluctantly allow it and so we start our journey down until he trips and we go tumbling into Samuel’s arms.  Xaren and Samuel abandon me cuz i am a Naughty Child,  but Elathera,  who still hasn’t figured out i was just being an ass,  stays to comfort me.  she’s a good friend.

Rikius comes over to see what the fuss is about and helps me off of the ground while Elathera explains what she thinks happened.  Rikius immediately knows it’s bullshit and gives me the Stare as i hide my face in my hands and it’s at this moment,  Elathera finally realizes what’s really going on.  knowing that Xaren probably needs some cooldown time,  i decide not to push my luck again and we all retire for the night.

come morning,  Elathera sets up another fortune teller tent so she can see if she can pry some more past life memories out of Xaren.  his vision’s pulled back to Remy,  who’s been inside the temple of the dead with Lucky for a month.  desperate for some fresh air and to get out of that creepy ass place,  they tell Lucky they should go to the beach.  after some convincing,  Lucky reluctantly agrees to a few days outside of the temple,  but they’re desperate to find and learn all the place has to offer.

they wanna spend another week or two there and Remy knows it’s gonna be longer,  so they call them out and now there’s some tension.  Lucky’s holding something back,  but before Remy can coax it out of them,  Xaren is pulled back into his own body.  after talking to Elathera about it,  she says that she doesn’t think the situation ended well for either of them.

with our mission finally done,  we get ready to head back home.  as we pack into the carriage,  i notice Sephi talking to someone.  so as her glance falls on me,  i goose Rikius,  who’s startled,  but doesn’t find it entirely unwelcome and she scowls.  she’s probably plotting to murder me as we speak.  Industria asks Xaren if he can train Ilyana in hand-to-hand combat,  so Xaren says she can join the lessons he’s giving to Sirqi.  she also asks Tenin to train her with a sword and he seems pretty fucking jazzed about it.

i talk to Ilyana about Cat some more cuz i’m pretty happy about Princess Strawberry finding a new home,  but unfortunately,  i get a little morbid when i think of my mom and tell this child that some monsters don’t look like monsters at first.  and everybody is immediately concerned,  even Xaren who’s still a little salty about the Thompson situation.  we drop the refugees off and finally head home to Florence.

Industria and Rikius get into a spat about the fact that we have prison cells in the manor and give each other some nasty ass glares and surprisingly,  Industria wins.  we get inside and our good pals Camilla and Ivy are there to join the order and to apparently escape pirates cuz uh oh!  they’re in trouble.  but it’s good to have them here and i’m noticing a trend of catfolk hanging out with drow and what the fuck is the deal with that??  do we all just naturally gravitate to each other or what?

after the room clears out,  it’s family intervention time with me again and i finally open up about my mom.  Trash Can Asri.  i tell them about how awful she is,  how abusive she was,  and how i’m absolutely scared of her.  Industria says i’m stronger now and that i have friends.  Power of Friendship,  ya’ll.  it can move mountains.  we have a group hug that even Rikius joins in on with no eye rolling or dramatic sighing,  so cue me sobbing.  with money to collect,  i ask everyone if you can use it to buy me a new mom and everyone is still concerned as shit.

Industria catches on that i’m holding something back and it’s time to unravel even more Tragic Backstory.  Kina is like an onion,  okay?  that trauma has many layers. i tell them how Asri forced me to kill somebody in cold-blood when i was just a teenager and everyone still loves me,  so let me cry some more.  Xaren asked if a kid was involved and i bring up how after it was all said and done,  i found the woman’s baby and everyone’s shocked again.

Trauma Shock and Awe.  Xaren leans in to ask me “are you...Mariellis?” and upon hearing my birth name,  i recoil back as sudden realization hits us both.  we knew each other before all of this.  everybody is pretty much “what in the goddamn”ing all over the place and Xaren explains how he talked with me every now and again when i’d come in to check on the child,  Ginger.  Xaren brings up how he held me when i was a baby cuz my mom left me crying my eyes out on a pew and then he brings up how absolutely unlikable Asri is.

with my tragic backstory unveiled,  we go to collect our money for the job well done.  we tell him how everything went,  where to focus most of our resources,  and then he asks if anybody needs promoting or demoting.  Industria immediately comes for Elliot (who thankfully isn’t here) and says he’s not cut out for the military and should be in peace corps or something.  we then bring up Thompson who seems a good candidate for promotion.  he asks how Xaren did and the reviews were nothing but positive.

with that done,  Xaren asks me to wait around the monastery and brings out Ginger.  it’s been two years since i’ve seen her so i talk with her a bit and the minute she starts wondering about her family is the minute i fucking died,  folks.  my soul left my body and it is not coming back.  i bid her and Xaren farewell and Rikius waited around for me,  so hell yeah.  i got held,  guys.  in public.  irl me begins sweating as he holds my hand and off we go.

after what Industria said about Elliot,  her and Elathera get into a catfight.  Industria explains where she was coming from,  bringing up how she’s not sure he’s cut out for the military and she needs to make sure we all stay alive.  she brings up how she’s not even sure she’s cut out for the military and Elathera asks her if she regrets joining,  but she doesn’t.  she got to meet us,  so she thinks it was all worth it.  with the catfight done and over,  they take Ilyana shopping.  good ol’ shopping girls.

i go to visit my family,  but the only ones coming along this time are Rikius,  Industria,  and Ilyana.  Ilyana gets to meet my sisters who are more than ecstatic to meet her and Sirqi is especially excited knowing that her and Ilyana are gonna be trained by Xaren together.  Rikius gets to meet my very big and scary dad (he’s a teddy bear,  guys),  who is absolutely stunned when he finds out we’re dating.  after i talk him down,  he goes over and shakes his hand,  nearly crushing him,  but you know how dads are.

he gives him the Designated Dad Talk,  basically “make sure you take damn good care of my little girl or i’m gonna take care of you,  if you know what i mean”,  but otherwise,  i’d say it went well.  i pull Industria aside to talk more about Asri and how Krag doesn’t know about it all and decide that maybe i should tell him.  i drag my dad outside to talk and Industria and Rikius begin arguing over what to do.  she thinks he should go with me,  but he thinks i need some space.

i tell my dad about the things Asri’s done,  except the murder cuz that is too much to throw on him at one time,  and we have another moment of just holding each other and weeping on the porch.  it’s what we do,  ya’ know?  he talks about how he wants to be there for me now and that he should’ve protected me and i am heartbroken.  i assure him that he did everything he could and as our moment is done,  we both hear Industria and Rikius arguing inside.

the minute i get inside,  Industria asks me to pick a side and i am baffled.  she tells me they were “discussing” what he should do in that situation.  i take Rikius’s side cuz clearly i needed some space if i excused myself like that and he looks very smug about that.  then...tea?  i tell them honey in tea obviously,  so Industria also gets to look smug,  but i quickly shut them both down when i tell them they’re acting like children.  pot calling the kettle black,  but nobody came for me after that,  so hey,  i fucking won.

my dad fetches Granny and the kids cuz it’s baking time and we all pitch in.  me and Rikius decide to stealthily get handsy in the kitchen,  but Sirqi catches on.  she asks me what her silence is worth and i tell her it’s worth not getting my foot up her ass and she glares at me,  but remains silent.  Rikius wins our little game cuz he’s smooth as fuck and somehow,  no one else noticed.

Elathera and Samuel have a talk about the Velevana situation,  but with no solid information to go off of,  neither of them really know what’s up.  they talk a little about religion and war and everybody else finally comes home.  Industria decides to be petty and before we close up the session,  she sprinkles salt on Rikius’s cookies.  like i said...children.

[r0rorowurboat]

All of them!

200: My crush’s name is: n/a lmao199: I was born in: naples, fl198: I am really: gay?? idk197: My cellphone company is: t mobile196: My eye color is: green/blue/gray/idk man195: My shoe size is: 7 1/2 8 sometimes194: My ring size is: um i think that was 7 too but i dont remember193: My height is: 5′4″192: I am allergic to:pineapples and penicillin191: My 1st car was: a v old red saturn190: My 1st job was: a waitress189: Last book you read: um i think it was uhhhhhh shit uhhhh god fuck it was the warrior cats book but!!! it was bc i was stuck at my sister house with nothing but bibles or that series to read188: My bed is: an air mattress atm187: My pet: is perfect and i love her her name is luna and shes a little black cat who loves cuddles and kisses186: My best friend:is wonderful and i love him185: My favorite shampoo is: uhm. error i hardly ever use shampoo bc i have v dry curly hair and it makes it horrible184: Xbox or ps3: pc boi183: Piggy banks are: cure182: In my pockets: they dont make pockets in womens fashion wtf are you on. but uh. usually my phone, wallet, and keys181: On my calendar: i.. dont.. have one. 180: Marriage is: alright i guess. tax benefits179: Spongebob can: do that annoying laugh 178: My mom: tries v hard177: The last three songs I bought were? *squints* i think... it was keshas new album?176: Last YouTube video watched: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQuR8LVKhUE175: How many cousins do you have? 2174: Do you have any siblings? yes i have 3 older sisters173: Are your parents divorced? yeup172: Are you taller than your mom? nope171: Do you play an instrument? not anymore but i used to play clarinet170: What did you do yesterday? uhm spent the day at home as usual[ I Believe In ]169: Love at first sight: nah man168: Luck: to an extent i guess?167: Fate: i dont think so. 166: Yourself: sometimes165: Aliens: yes164: Heaven: nah163: Hell: nah162: God: nah161: Horoscopes: yes160: Soul mates: nah159: Ghosts: hmmm probably158: Gay Marriage: yes!157: War: no156: Orbs: orbs?? what are those?? like in ghost hunter shows? bc if so then no155: Magic: hm. what type? i think theres stuff we dont know about but idk if id call it magic. I think certain things have more power than we give credit. idk its hard to explain.[ This or That ]154: Hugs or Kisses: hugs153: Drunk or High: drunk152: Phone or Online: online151: Red heads or Black haired: redheadsredheadsredheads150: Blondes or Brunettes: hmmmm blondes i guess?149: Hot or cold: cold148: Summer or winter: winter147: Autumn or Spring: autumn146: Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate145: Night or Day: night144: Oranges or Apples: hmmm oranges143: Curly or Straight hair: curly 142: McDonalds or Burger King: mcdonalds141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: milk chocolate140: Mac or PC: pc139: Flip flops or high heals: usually sneakers tbh but uhhh i own more heels then flip flops138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: hm i mean i guess sweet and poor? im already poor so137: Coke or Pepsi: i dont drink soda, water. or coffee136: Hillary or Obama: obama135: Burried or cremated: cremated134: Singing or Dancing: singing133: Coach or Chanel: um. walmart? 132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: who or who?131: Small town or Big city: hm idk. probably city? 130: Wal-Mart or Target: target129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: neither pls128: Manicure or Pedicure: hmmm manicure probs.127: East Coast or West Coast: i live on the east coast but idk west coast is home to a lot of friends so hmmmm126: Your Birthday or Christmas: its like a week apart there isnt much difference125: Chocolate or Flowers: chocolate124: Disney or Six Flags: disney123: Yankees or Red Sox: i dont sports[ Here’s What I Think About ]122: War: icky121: George Bush: memes?120: Gay Marriage: im gay119: The presidential election: my vote didnt matter!118: Abortion: its your body your choice117: MySpace: never had one116: Reality TV: i mean, its fake? entertaining tho115: Parents: eh. 114: Back stabbers: icky113: Ebay: cheap stuff112: Facebook: only for family tbh111: Work: pays the bills110: My Neighbors: dont know them109: Gas Prices: expensive108: Designer Clothes: overpriced107: College: wish i could afford it!106: Sports: nah105: My family: haha104: The future: haha[ Last time I ]103: Hugged someone: my grandma a few days ago102: Last time you ate: pizza a few hours ago101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: moving day seeing my extended family again100: Cried in front of someone: the other night with my mom or uhhh in call with kina today actually99: Went to a movie theater: wow uh pretty long time ago i dont actually remember98: Took a vacation: haha idk man97: Swam in a pool: wow uh idk96: Changed a diaper: hm last time i was with the twins. not sure how long its been. maybe 2 or 3 months?95: Got my nails done: when did my sister get married? years ago idk94: Went to a wedding: ^^93: Broke a bone: never have92: Got a peircing: about a year ago91: Broke the law: heh uh 90: Texted: a few hours ago[ MISC ]89: Who makes you laugh the most: probably kina or riley rn88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my mom tbh. the kids. wyatt. 87: The last movie I saw: the orphan86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: hm idk getting a job i guess85: The thing im not looking forward to: getting a job lmao84: People call me: by my name. but i have nicknames now!! Ray, rachi, babe, ray baby... its very nice and makes me feel warm and fuzzy and loved83: The most difficult thing to do is: hmmm clean? be honest about things that are bothering me? idk82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: never81: My zodiac sign is: capricorn sun aquarius moon80: The first person i talked to today was: the gc i think?79: First time you had a crush: i was v young and they had freckles and red hair and i died78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: um i try not to hide things in general! but someone who will call me out recently is raiken and archie lmao77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: riley lmao tho i beat her to it 

76: Right now I am talking to: riley75: What are you going to do when you grow up: i am grown up technically. uh. hopefully be an animator74: I have/will get a job: as a cashier probably73: Tomorrow: i have a job interview and then im gonna get coffee72: Today: was a long day71: Next Summer: hmmm idk70: Next Weekend: IDK GOD69: I have these pets: a cat!! who i love!!! and already gushed about but shes laying on my lap and purring rn and its so soothing68: The worst sound in the world: scratching against those uhhhh holographic things???? god i hate it67: The person that makes me cry the most is: hmnn my dad haha66: People that make you happy: my friends!!! Kina, Ali, Archie, Riley, Leo, Raiken, Mimi...... all of them good pals the squad my faves i love them65: Last time I cried: today rip64: My friends are: GOOD AND AMAZING I LOVE THEM63: My computer is: big! and i like it62: My School: none61: My Car: ded from the hurricane rip me60: I lose all respect for people who: are shitty? idk. 59: The movie I cried at was: hmmmm idk movies dont usually make me cry58: Your hair color is: uhm it was really dark blue but as the color has faded it kind of looks black/brown now57: TV shows you watch: a lot of them56: Favorite web site: uh i guess tumblr55: Your dream vacation: not being here!! probably just going around visiting everyone and hanging out having a good time54: The worst pain I was ever in was: tearing a ligament in my knee it hurt a lot53: How do you like your steak cooked: medium 52: My room is: messy51: My favorite celebrity is: ummm idk50: Where would you like to be: home tbh49: Do you want children: idk48: Ever been in love: ye47: Who’s your best friend: hhhhhhhhhhhh raiken46: More guy friends or girl friends: girls and nb babes45: One thing that makes you feel great is: just hanging out with people tbh44: One person that you wish you could see right now: i guess that would be my mom haha43: Do you have a 5 year plan: i did once. idk what happened to it haha i guess things never really go according to plan and it just hurts more to make one. just set goals, not plans.42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: i did once but i dont think i have the same values as i did when i made that41: Have you pre-named your children: i used to but idk if i want kids anymore40: Last person I got mad at: ummmm hmm 39: I would like to move to: hmm somewhere with 4 seasons not just summer and less hot summer38: I wish I was a professional: artist[ My Favorites ]37: Candy: kit-kats36: Vehicle: um idk small ones i guess35: President: obama? idk34: State visited: ooohhh michigan33: Cellphone provider: ive only ever had the one so idk32: Athlete: uh31: Actor: uh30: Actress: uh29: Singer: hmmmmmmmm rn i would have to say Bea Miller but check back with me in a week28: Band: The Silent Comedy27: Clothing store: hmmmm cotton on has really comfy clothes26: Grocery store: target or publix25: TV show: rn? bnha24: Movie: hhhhhh um idk uhhhhh moulin rouge i guess? it used to be my fav but idk anymore23: Website: tumblr22: Animal: elephants21: Theme park: epcot20: Holiday: halloween19: Sport to watch: none18: Sport to play: none17: Magazine: none16: Book: hmmmmm A Monster Calls15: Day of the week: none14: Beach: hh13: Concert attended: never been12: Thing to cook: uh i guess eggs11: Food: sushi10: Restaurant: its a really good sushi place with bubble tea and thai donuts that i dont remember the name of9: Radio station: hhh idk8: Yankee candle scent: idk7: Perfume: i dont really like perfume it gives me headaches6: Flower: ooooh gardenia5: Color: blue/green teal4: Talk show host: john oliver3: Comedian: hh2: Dog breed: hmmm husky? also labradors and uhhh all dogs tbh ohhh pitbulls and rottweilers i love dogs good yes1: Did you answer all these truthfully? ye mostly

[rarestereocats]

rundown of tonight’s game!

we get the card and go to head out when we’re beckoned by a beautiful nymph to a pink pond of healing water.  the nymph tells us that a witch named Pondera has asked for us to swing by her cabin,  so quick detour,  but kids,  we don’t trust like that.  we get there and she’s a beautiful witch living out there with her daughter,  Gabby,  and ushers us in.  she simply wants our jar of magic as it was originally hers and stolen by Hagatha.  in trade,  she’ll offer us the opportunity to ask our gods one question and receive an answer.

we give the jar of raw magic over and now one of us gets to ask a god a question.  both me and Xaren have a question,  so i ask for a two-for-one special.  she asks for another item to trade.  luckily,  i have a ring of communication on hand.  i ask her if she hates Hagatha and my party realizes i’m pulling off the scam of the century and the hag is just fucked over twice now.  not only does she have Fey spying on her,  she now has her fucking enemy spying on her and i got to ask Altamere a question.

i ask about the fate of my mom and he says her fate is undetermined now,  but she’s alive.  i’m not happy,  but satisfied with the answer.  Xaren asks an unaffiliated god about how much time he has before Velevana (evil goddess) comes for him.  he has until after the war.  after,  we head back to Haven to have the guardian teleport us to Terrindego.  we all get in a summer camp circle and hold hands uncomfortably and bam,  we’re there!

Xaren holds Samuel’s hand a little longer and we all catch on,  except Samuel and Rikius who don’t notice.  i give Xaren a knowing smile as he tries to play it off and get into the carriage.  we head out back home!  we meet with New Thaddeus and hand over the card.  he tells us to hold onto it and prepare to head out for the city of Trieste tomorrow morning.  we have the day to ourselves.

i pick up Muffin and take him armor shopping and also pick up some sick ass bracers for myself after dealing with some more cat racism.  with Elathera’s help,  i begin the process of teaching him tricks so he can pull his weight in this family and it’s all to the soothing soundtrack of Tenin’s battle cries in the basement as he trains.  he comes upstairs to make a nasty ass smoothie and challenge Samuel to a rematch,  where he wipes the floor with our poor boy and then ends up unintentionally mocking him and offending him.

Samuel heads up and makes a sandwich of defeat and comfort as Xaren stops by to rack up them sweet relationship points hang out with friends and gets a tour of our manor.  he ends up staying the night in our totally cozy basement and come morning,  Tenin has made us a really good survivalist breakfast.  Me and Samuel are the only ones to truly appreciate his craft though.

we all have dreams.  Industria dreams of beautiful,  colorful lights.  Elathera dreams of Cupcake.  and i dream of catnip and a wonderful high.  but this disturbs me as i’m now a sober cat.  everybody can feel my discomfort and see my nervous hand wringing at the breakfast table and they ask me what’s up.  i try to play it off,  but they all see through my bullshit and i come clean about what i was really doing in that alley the first time we met.  buying that synthetic nip cuz i couldn’t afford the good shit.  everybody gives me their tender love and support and tells me to stop suffering in silence.

after our small intervention,  we go and pick up Rudy,  and travel to Trieste.  we’re going to meet admiral Veeshee who will want to know of our success with the guardian.  as we pull up,  a beggar asks for coppers and we hook this guy up with a life savings cuz what the fuck is gold,  man??  for the people,  homie.  we get to see some naked ass religious statues which some of us may or may not be into and then meet the admiral.

we brief her on what’s going on and began concocting a plan to deal with the svartalfar.  Elathera is called out for collecting payment for a summoned being and is nearly fired,  we find an inn,  and commence our hotel rituals of heart-to-hearts and tender moments all around.  Rikius finally opens up to me as he sketches cuz he is totally a sensitive artist and after,  i head out and grab drinks with my BFF Samuel and interrogate him about Xaren.

i tell him how i see the way they look at each other,  he then deflects on me abotu Rikius,  and we just have a total girls moment there at the bar after i aggressively shoo the eavesdropping bartender away.  as Samuel leaves with some water,  i order my third glass of wine and take my drunk ass back to bed,  where i proceed to tell Rikius i met a guy named Jesus in the hallway and he turned the water i was supposed to be getting into wine.

come morning,  i’m face down in bed but still holding the wine of glass.  i get scolded by Rikius for my possibly developing alcoholism and he leaves with the glass and meets everybody else downstairs.  curiously he tastes the wine,  but is disgusted cuz it’s the cheap shit.  i finally come down and all we’re missing at the table is Industria,  who spent most of the night collecting information.  Tenin goes to retrieve her and upon thinking that assassins got her,  shatters the bedroom door,  not only pissing the bartender off,  but Industria too.

we go get some Calm Down Cupcakes and then break off for the day to begin our plan of hiring these assassins to kill Tenin so we can lure them out,  capture them,  and have them take us to their leaders.  Industria and Xaren go catch a play and later meet up with the svartalfar’s handler?? in the sewers.  me and Samuel hit up some restaurants all day cuz we fucking love food,  and Elathera,  Tenin,  and Rikius go visit a war museum.

with the contract signed,  we need Tenin back in Florence at the Spinning Wheel Inn in a week’s time.  but before we can hit the road,  we have one more night in the Mongoose inn and romance is in the air.  Samuel and Xaren have a mutual workout session and admire each other’s muscles cuz they’re gay as fuck.  as Xaren gets flustered,  Samuel admits his feelings for him,  making him even more flustered.  Xaren turns to Spirit Guide Kina who is yelling and choking on her water for this romance to blossom and soon their feelings are out there and exposed.

as they go to get drinks,  Samuel knocks on my door and yanks me out of the room.  he says i was right and i get excited until he smiles and says “now it’s your turn!” before shoving me back into the room.  i nearly trip,  but catch myself and Rikius asks what the fuck is going on.  i told him Samuel stopped by to tell me a really good joke and he asks what it was.  i stutter and say he had to be there and he looks slightly offended considering he wasn’t even five feet away from me.

feeling the heat rising in the room and suddenly feeling risky,  i hear Spirit Guide Xaren tell me to kiss him,  but instead i awkwardly blurt out that i like him.  he says he likes me too,  and smirks as he sets his book aside and asks if i need to talk.  i tell him it’s been awhile since i’ve done this shit,  so i stumble over myself and say that it’s out there so do what you will with it.  i sit down on the edge of my bed and hide my face in my hands.

i ask him if it’s getting hot in here and he says that he’s actually feeling cold.  my ears perk up and feeling risky again,  i tell him that i can fix that.  i panic again as he looks at me though,  so he turns his attention back to the book and as he does,  i make my way over and sit down next to him.  he peers up at me and i cuddle in closer as he wraps an arm around my shoulder and despite trying to keep the purrs contained,  i gosh diddly darn purred.

we all awake and get ready to leave this city for now.  as we go to leave,  the bartender calls Industria over to collect a letter addressed to her.  basically the Fuckening is going down,  so we end up riding down the side roads until we reach a small town where we think we’re meeting New Thaddeus and Veeshee.  surprise!  it’s a troll with nine faces who just wants to kick our shit in!  and kick our shit in,  he does!

i experience my second near death experience for this campaign and at this point,  dying might as well be a character trait for me.  Xaren saves me from being vored cuz he’s a fucking bro,  but ends up getting vored himself.  luckily,  after this thing nearly kills us and phones a friend for backup,  Tenin goes ham on it and slays it.  everybody escapes shortly after Elathera teleports me to the safety of the carriage and gives me a potion and we ride off,  escaping the grasps of a total party wipe.

we have thwarted the DM’s plans once again,  but for how long? (cue ominous,  but questioning piano jingle)