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#College starts next week and I'm already losing it
cillianistic · 1 year
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「 Cillian Murphy - photographed for Flaunt Magazine, 2010 」
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prettycottagequeer · 7 months
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ok maybe I'm a little late to this BUT I'm gonna do a to-do list motivation thingy because I've had the worst two weeks since I started college :)
SO these I should start on asap:
50 I make the snack I really want but I haven't had the motivation to make
100 I clean my dorm. another thing I've been meaning to do for a week
150 I do the presentation about mid-victorian fashion I've been putting off (due Monday)
200 I start memorizing the monologue that was due a week ago (now due Tuesday)
these can wait longer:
300 I spend time outside. It's so nice but I'm getting stuck scrolling because I feel like shit. vicious cycle ect
500 I start setting a better weekend routine (aka getting up before noon)
1k I start working out again. I was doing a routine to get more masc and build muscle and I liked it but life hit me like Crowley driving the Bentley and I've missed like 3 weeks
2k I buy my first binder. I've been coping with sports bras for almost a year now and I haven't been able to justify spending $50+ on a binder even though I know I'd love it and use it everyday.
Do I tag people? I don't know but I'm going to. @the-globe-theatre-maggot @weirdly-specific-but-ok @howmanyholesinswisscheese
here's just some context if you want to read, feel free to skip. some of this I've talked about in the maggot server, some I haven't, but I really just need a place for this to go that's out of my head. tw homophobia, transphobia, car crash(??)
How I Have Been Run Over By The Bentley Going 90 In Central London What Feels Like 50 Times In The Last Two Weeks
I'm going to college about 4 hours away from my parents, and it's been really nice. They.. suck, to say the least. transphobic/homophobic ect, super traditional conservative catholic, racist, all of it. so i tried to move somewhere where I wouldn't have to think about them and I could be myself and do what I can to be happy. March 1st was the start of my spring break, which meant going home because the dorms close. I was already not excited, but I was prepared. the problem with being away from home is I forget just how bad they are. My optimism gets the better of me and I think maybe this time they'll be better. so I decided to not hide my septum piercing.
that was a mistake. it starts a whole fight where they say we know you're trans, you're actually a girl and you always will be, we have the bones argument, they think I'm being influenced by demons or something (if only they knew about crowley) because I want to change my name, and they tell me that going on t will completely ruin my body and give me cancer and other things. They're also mad about my dyed hair, septum, and general style, and say I'm setting a terrible example for my (5) younger siblings and make it a point to tell me just how much of a disappointment I am. I think I'm pretty cute and fun but y'know, whatever. very fun time. I lie so much, don't give them any more details about my identity, and say I'm not planning to go on t to save my ass. which is all on instinct which makes me feel worse because if I'm really trans I should be able to stand up for that, right? maybe I'm faking the dysphoria.
the next morning I wake up really sick, and spend the rest of the week sick and feeling like shit because I'm home and back in the same place and situation I was a year ago that I thought I escaped. at one point I pretty much lose my voice but also kind of get gender euphoria from it. it's weird.
On Friday it's time for me to drive back 4 hours to school, and I make it about 3/4 of the way when google maps takes me on a random gravel road and I crash my car, really crash my car, like sideways-in-a-ditch-windows-broken-crawling-up-out-the-door crash it in the middle of nowhere. (I was fully paying attention to the road, it was raining and super slick) I call my parents because I have no one else to call and I sit in a Subway for 3 hours while they drive to get my car. when they get there they're (understandably) really mad, and they tell me that I'm not mature enough to be going to school so far away and I need to get my shit together and stop depending on them. which. is probably true. but made me feel even more stupid about the fact that I crashed my car. I get back to school and I'm still Very Sick with no energy or motivation to do anything. So I've spent the last week trying to get better and honestly to do anything. it hasn't really worked. I'm a lot better health-wise (Not emotionally), still sick but I have a lot of work due, so I really need a push to get started
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morwap · 2 years
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𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐈 𝐃𝐎𝐍𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐀 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐕𝐎𝐈𝐂𝐄 𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐒
➸ ex!theo nott x fem!reader
➸ smut | muggle! au | college! au
➸ nav | tn.mlist | A/N: i know some of you love love love theo and when i write for him y’all eat it up every time so i thought i’d give y’all a surprise fic with theo since i know i’ve been lacking theo content and i’ve been much more into marauders and other fandoms, i still get so many and still have so many requests in my inbox for him so i knew y’all were trying to be fed with theo content! so surprise and i hope you enjoy <;3
➸ toxic on and off relationship, p in v, face sitting, dom theo sub reader, make up sex, hair pulling, love bombs, riding, finger sucking, hand behind back, tity sucking, little bitting, creampie, praise, “good girl
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this happened over and over, you and theo fight then break up for a week then get back together. this time it lasted two weeks, the longest its ever been, maybe it was really over this time. you knew he was stubborn and took some days to himself before texting you or finding you somewhere but he didn’t take this long.
you waited for him to text and of course you could’ve texted first but you were overthinking it, why text if it was really over? you didn’t know how to feel, you felt like every other time with the voice in the back of your head saying “you'll be back together by tomorrow” but now you had a feeling in your gut that said something different.
you saw his dormmates on your way to your classes and they greeted you like normal which confused you even more. luna and cho told you that maybe this was for the better, you wouldn’t be under the stress of the fighting every week and focus on your school work and your job more than you already do.
it was the start of a new semester and luckily exams went by without causing too much stress. You wondered if the fighting recently on his end was because of the exams but he ended up passing with no struggle but you tried to understand.
Now it was the weekend, finally time off, you walked to your dorm and greeted people that wandered the hallways. luna had gone home for the weekend to see her dad so you had the dorm all to yourself.
you unlocked the door and pushed it open, kicking off your shoes and hanging your bag and coat on the coat rack on the door. you turned and was met with theo sitting on your bed, your string lights were still on since you didn’t turn them off when you left for your last class.
“hi” you mumbled, nervous that this was him saying goodbye. “How'd you get in here?” you asked.
“Luna let me in before she left, I needed to talk to you,” he said. You could see the flowers he bought on your nightstand. they were always done up pretty with brown paper and lace and ribbons tying them together. you nodded and walked closer to him.
theo took your hand in his, his thumb rubbing your skin softly.
“i'm sorry i didn't get ahold of you, i was just trying to figure out this whole thing because i really want this to work and i don’t know what's been going with us lately but i know it’s not healthy, padma gave me some advice and i really think it could help us” theo said. you nodded and sat next to him, still hand in hand.
theo continued to explain what Padma said and how it sounded like a good idea, he didn’t want to lose you and you didn’t want to lose him. you listened and gave your input every now and then and he listened to you, there was no fighting or snarky comments.
“thank you” you said when he was finished, you leaned closer to him and hugged him, his arms went around your waist and his face moved to your neck.
“i love you” he mumbled and you said it back.
you leaned back before leaning in and kissing him, there was tension already, you two had very high sex drives and had sex frequently and being apart and now together it just felt natural.
theo’s hands gripped you harshed and guided you closer. this was natural for you two, sex normally came after the understanding and apologies, the intimacy was the best part, a connection you hadn’t felt with anyone else.
you were in his lap, his hands unbuttoning your cardigan and moving it off you. you let it fall off your arms and onto the floor. you broke the kiss and moved off him and the bed, theo quickly took off his shirt and threw it to the floor then started working on his jeans while you stripped off your sweatpants. you kept your spaghetti strap shirt and underwear on.
theo kissed you again once he was just in his boxers, guiding you back onto him. He laid back and grabbed your hips. “cmon sit on my face” he said, breaking the kiss. you laughed softly and started to move up, you hovered over his face, one of his hands held your thigh and the other moved your panties to the side.
his tongue met your cunt, going over your clit, his hands now holding your hips to keep you where he wanted.
you closed your eyes and hummed, he was slow and easy at first then started to get a bit rough as he went, sucking on your clit then moving his tongue to your entrance and fucking you with it.
your hands gripped the headboard, one of his hands left your hip and took one of your hands that were gripping the board, intertwining yours and his fingers. He repeatedly licked your clit, making you moan and jolt with pleasure. you started to move your hips a bit, you were getting close which was fast but you hadn’t came in two weeks so who could blame you.
theo encouraged you with mumbles of “cum for me” and “cmon baby”
theo moaned against your cunt, his eyes were close as he pleased you, his other hands fingers dug into the skin on your thigh. his cock rubbed against his underwear, the stimulation making him leak precum.
one of your hands moved to his hair, bringing his face even closer as you frantically repeated that you were close, you tugged at his hair and it made him groan against you. you were so wet, his chin was covered with his spit and your arousal.
you felt it coming and you tightened your shut eyes, your breathing was picking up and the feel crashed down on you. you gripped his hair tighter.
once you were getting overstimulated he slowed his licks, you lifted up, pulling your cunt away from him, both of you panting.
theo kissed your thighs, he moved his hand to your cunt and pushed his middle finger in, earning a whine from you. theo’s ring finger joined.
“just wanna make sure you’re ready love” he said, a little smugness in his voice. after a minute he pulled his fingers from you.
you started to make your way back down to where you could straddle his waist. theo pushed his upper body up and kissed you, you could taste yourself on him. He broke the kiss and put his fingers in your mouth.
“you made the mess, now you clean it” he ordered, you sucked on his finger as he watched you with a smirk. theo pulled them from you when he thought they were clean enough.
“please, please fuck me, i want you so bad” you begged, you kissed his neck moved your hips a bit on his lap.
“how could i not give you what you want when you ask like that” theo said, his fingers taking your panties off, then you lifted up to get them fully off. your hands went to his boxers, pulling them down and letting his cock be free, no more friction from his boxers. you lifted up to move them then let them fall to the ground.
you moved over his cock, letting theo hold himself as you started to sink down onto it. he let out a relieved sigh once he was all the way in you.
you started to move, going up and down and sometimes grinding to get friction on your sensitive clit.
“holy fuck, you feel so fucking good,” theo grunted. his eyes closing for a moment and taking in the feeling.
“i missed you, miss you so much” you mumbled, moving your head to his neck, kissing his skin then sucking hickeys on him.
“i missed you too baby, it won’t happen again” he said promisingly.
theo took your hands and put them behind your back, one hand held yours there. you leaned away from his neck, his hand pushed the top of your shirt down and let your tits fall out of your shirt.
he moved his head down a bit, kissing your tit and biting softly, he moved to your nipple, sucking on and kissing the bud.
you moaned and your mouth made an ‘o’ shape, he groaned against you as your cunt tightened around him.
you whined when he bit you softly making him laugh. he left your tits alone now and leaned up and kissed you. theo was getting close now.
“i love you” he said, moving his kissed to your jaw then down your neck til he was resting his head a little on your shoulder and your face was nuzzled against his neck. his hand moved to your hip, making you go faster and harder. you clenched around him more.
“i love you too” you moaned. theo moaned and his abdomen flexed as he got closer and closer.
“im gonna cum-“ he started.
“- in me, please cum in me” you begged, you moved your fingers to hold on to his pinky finger.
“anything for you” he quipped, after a few thrusts he was cumming inside you, his cock twitched as your cunt squeezed him over and over. he shuddered against you, still moving you on his cock, he was getting overstimulated already but he wanted you to cum on his cock.
theo’s hand moved from your hip to your clit and started rubbing in circles, you breathed heavily as you were getting close. it felt so good having him take care of you again.
“m’gonna cum” you whimpered, theo’s cum was dripping from you and running down his cock to his balls.
“good girl, cum on my cock, you deserve it. you’ve so good, princess” theo whispered encouragingly.
he pressed a kiss against your head as you clenched around him tighter. he inhaled sharply, he was sensitive.
you let out soft noises as you came, cunt spasming around him and shivering against your boyfriend.
you both stayed there, theo let go of your hands and rubbed them to soothe any soreness. the mixture of your arousal, cum and his cum still dripped from you. you both rested against each other.
clean up was essential and couldn’t wait till the next morning or be fixed by a simple cloth or tissue. you showered together, the pillow talk followed from in there till you laid on clean sheets and cuddled. you had cleaned up the mess of clothes while he did the bed, your pajamas were thin since he would be in your bed keeping you warm.
you both fell asleep fast, faster than how you did when he was not with you.
luna came back to the dorm that morning, she knew she’d see theo, and at this point she thought about making a bingo card about you two, and she was right, there he was basically on top of you. you faced the wall with one hand pressed to your chest while theos arm was over you and his chest was half way pressed to your back, luna had no idea how you could sleep like that with him basically smothering you.
she sighed, it was cute in a way but even though she wasn’t the biggest fan of your relationship she knew she had to do something about your breakup with him and asked padma to talk to theo since she was going there to be a therapist and specifically a couples therapist. now she knew it worked but not like she had any doubt in the plan in the first place.
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taesanrot · 6 months
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[love these days] eunseok x f!reader | 3.3k best friends to lovers, implied college au, making out, alc consumption, mutual pining, mls are both a lil dumb, cute n fluffy w a lil smut n angst syn. in which you drunkenly attempt to prove to your friends that you have absolutely no feelings towards your best friend (spoiler alert... you fail) note. storyline is based off of the manhwa these days love special! it's a super cute one shot and a comfort read for me so you guys should check it out. ++ thank u so so much for the support on the teaser, i honestly wrote it on a whim but i'm v proud of this fic so i hope u guys like it as welll <3
you winced at how loud your friends were yelling, sipping on your drink in a weak attempt to calm your nerves. you'd foolishly thought that coming out to drink with your friends would lift up your mood after your terrible week.
you were immediately proven wrong, chaewon and anton's loud arguing was making your head hurt and you just wanted to go home and snuggle into your blanket.
staring at the table top, you lost yourself in your own racing thoughts. you were pulled out of your trance as shotaro nudged you. you looked up at him drearily, and he gave you a sad smile, ruffling your hair.
"what's up? you seem downer than usual." you gave him a weak half smile, opening your mouth to answer his question. you were interrupted by a loud outburst from sohee.
"what do you guys think about guys and girls being best friends? do you think they can stay platonic?" the entire table erupted with noise, everyone drunkenly chiming in to answer his question.
"what on earth are you saying sohee? of course they can!"
"don't you know if you like someone the second you meet them? how can you catch feelings after being friends?"
"kissing my guy friends sounds fucking disgusting, yall stay safe."
you stayed silent, knowing better than to respond -- you already answered sohee's question with your own traitorous heart. you glanced at the table next to yours, eyes landing on the reason you were keeping your mouth shut.
your best friend, song eunseok.
who you were, unfortunately, in love with.
you and eunseok had met in during your college orientation, finding that your personalities clicked quite well as you discussed your respective majors and classes. the rest was history, you two bonded fast, and you quickly became one of his closest friends. it didn't help that the two of you lived in the same apartment complex, meaning that you basically ended up walking home together everyday.
it became a routine, even if the two of you had separate plans you'd meet up somewhere and walk back together
if you were being honest to yourself, you'd been attracted to eunseok from the day you'd met him.
sometimes, you'd think back to the early days of your and eunseok's friendship and wondered how you'd manage to not confess right then and there. chasing the high of the closeness of your friendship had satisfied you somehow.
these days, though, you started to think that you were losing your mind. your feelings for eunseok have only grown stronger as time has passed, and it was becoming increasingly difficult to maintain your usual subtlety.
you felt like you were at your wit's end, ready to confess and be over all of this. and a couple days ago, you had been planning to do just that.
[...]
you reread eunseok's text in confusion, hoping you were walking in the right direction.
you had just gotten out of your last class, and eunseok had texted you to meet him and some other friends on the building's rooftop. you walked around a corner, recognize the back of eunseok's head and his terrible posture.
he was sitting at some picnic tables with two underclassman. just as you were about to wave, you hear one of the other boys speak.
"y/n.... as in kim y/n? you two are pretty close huh, eunseok?" you immediately darting back around the corner, hoping they hadn't seen you yet.
you pulse thrummed under your skin. they were talking about you. you felt your breath hitch as you heard eunseok's tired voice.
"cmon, you know it's not like that, sohee" sohee's loud laugh rang through the air.
"you wish it was though, don't you seokie?" a third voice, hong seunghan, chimed in. you cupped a hand over your mouth to suppress your nervous laughter. you heard eunseok shift in his seat before he spoke the words that would ruin your week.
"y/n.... she's nice and i like her. she's not even close to my type, though."
your face twitched and you clenched your hands into fists, nails digging crescents into your palms. you had to get out of here, and get out of there you did.
turning in the direction you'd come from minutes ago, you disappeared down the stairs, bolting to the comfort of your apartment. you shot eunseok a text later and make up an excuse, saying something came up on the way there. he never questioned it, thankfully.
[...]
remembering it made your shoulders sag, and you sighed for what had to be the 30th time that night, taking another swig from your beer.
of course you of all people would get rejected before you even had the chance to confess. you finally tuned back into the conversation. to your dismay, sungchan had begun to gush over his girlfriend of five years.
"it doesn't matter what i think, i'm already locked in for good." everyone rolled their eyes as he turned his phone around to show you guys pictures of his girlfriend, jiwoo, pictures that everyone had already seen a million times.
"isn't she so cute? i miss her, she's so busy these days."
huffing slightly, you felt your eyes waver over to the table next to yours. to certain brown haired boy, more importantly.
normally, eunseok would be drinking with you and your friends, but he was supposed to be getting to know some of the people in his major department better.
one of the students in question was doe-eyed underclassman sullyoon. your stomach turned uncomfortably as you watched her prettily laugh at eunseok's quips, covering her mouth politely and crinkling her eyes ever so slightly. it was impossible for you to look away as she unabashedly flirted with your best friend; the sight was almost nauseating.
jealousy tore through you, an eerie sadness filling you up from bottom to top. she was just his type, you realized, the epiphany making your mood even worse than it already was. today was the worst.
sullyoon's advances and your completely-not-subtle staring didn't go unnoticed by shotaro either.
"guess she's laid her claim on eunseok, huh?" he joked, nudging your side playfully. you dreadfully gulped down the last of your beer.
"how would i know?" you spoke gloomily, and a frown slowly etched itself onto shotaro's face as he put together the pieces in front of him.
his gaze remained on your dull figure for a moment longer before he suddenly sat up and gasped, grabbing your attention.
"guys, we're forgetting about the closest guy and girl here! aren't you best friends with song eunseok, y/n?" your eyes widen as shotaro's words boom through the bar. after a short pause, your friends went into uproar.
"hey, you're right, taro"
"do you like eunseok, y/n?"
"oh my god do you think they've kissed"
the words coming out of shotaro's mouth reached your ears almost in slow motion. your posture stiffened and you coughed roughly in shock, looking over to make eye contact with an unamused eunseok. his table had fallen into silence as well, everyone listening and waiting for what you had to say.
oh god, does he think i told him to say that? he's gonna think i like him. fuck fuck fuck.
alcohol tainted thoughts ran through your head as you panicked, trying to think of ways to shut down the conversation as quick as possible.
"you guys are crazy. me and eunseok could shower together and i still wouldn't catch feelings" seriously? that was the best you could think of?
berating yourself internally, you tried your hardest to fake nonchalance and act like that blatant lie wasn't tearing you in two. you glanced over at your best friend again, his expression unreadable. there was no going back; you really had to get over eunseok now.
tearing your gaze away from him, you downed the rest of your beer and glared at osaki shotaro's back.
[...]
"it's too earlyyyy we can't go home" chaewon half spoke and half shrieked, arm wrapped around sohee's shoulder.
"let's go to karaoke!" seunghan chirped, his suggestion earning cheers. you and eunseok both stepped away from the group, saying quiet goodbyes and excusing yourselves to walk back home. your friends cheered seeing the two of you walk away together, and you wished a hole would open in the ground and swallow you whole.
"god i feel like shit" you groaned, rubbing your forehead drearily. eunseok chuckled at your frazzled state, tugging the sleeve of your jacket and pulling you closer to him.
you held your breath as he playfully tugged the hood of your zip up over your face, laughing at the way you sputtered curses at him. the two of you bantered like this almost all the way until your place. when the two of your finally fell into a peaceful silence, you spoke.
"sullyoon seemed pretty into you." you craned your neck and tilted your gaze to the dark sky, hoping the boy next to you wouldn't be able to notice the sadness in your eyes. eunseok rolled his eyes at your question and coughed.
"did she, now?" playing dumb, he smirked at the way your gaze whipped to his face, staring at him incredulously. he hadn't helped himself to nearly as many drinks as you, a slight buzz coursing through his veins.
"i mean i found it pretty obvious." this time, eunseok laughed loudly. you really couldn't hold yourself back at all when you were wasted. your eyebrows furrowed and a blush ran across your cheeks at his laughter and response.
usually, you were pretty careful with how much you drank around your best friend, not wanting to unintentionally expose the feelings your fought so hard to hide from him.
unfortunately, past you did not anticipate shotaro's quips or the events of the past few days, the frustration leading you to allow yourself more drinks than usual.
the front door of your apartment complex came into view before eunseok could answer you. looking at your flushed face and droopy eyes, he decided it'd be best for him to help you to your place. the two of you rode in the elevator in silence, opening to your floor. you're face contorted in confusion as eunseok stepped out as well, hand coming to rest on your back as he led you to your unit.
"what're you doing?" you slurred at him. the fresh air had done nothing to sober you up, and eunseok rolled his eyes with a smile.
"making sure you actually make it to your bed." he fished your keys out of your pocket for you and opened the door to your small apartment. slightly tripping over your feet, you walked in and kicked off your shoes.
before you could even think of slumping onto the floor or your kitchen, eunseok grabbed your shoulders and led you to your room, laughing as you swatted his hands and sat on your bed.
you groaned as you leaned back and laid on your bed, exhaustion catching up to you. you brought a hand up to shield your eyes from the dizzying ceiling light. feeling the bed dip slightly next to you, you turned your gaze to eunseok. he was sitting right next to your laying figure, hand coming up to rub your shoulder lightly.
"cmon, you gotta actually get ready for bed." eunseok sighed and shook his head, pinching your neck and earning another groan.
after a painfully long amount of time, eunseok had managed to get you off your bed and into the bathroom. he helped your wipe off your leftover makeup and made sure you took out your contacts and brushed your teeth.
routine complete and pajamas adorned, you stood and stared at your awaiting bed, something stopped your from getting in and slipping underneath the covers.
eunseok turned off the lights in your bathroom and the rest of your apartment before returning to your bedroom with a glass of water.
"here, have some water." after seeing your stilled figure still standing next to the head of the bed, his eyebrows furrowed.
"are you okay?" the boy inquired. he reached his hand out to rest on the small of your back, but you turned and sat down on the bed before he had the chance.
"seokie..." you mumbled softly. eunseok felt his cheeks burn at the nickname the rolled off your drunken tongue. you'd only used it a few times -- almost always when you were intoxicated. eunseok never found it in him to tell you he loved it.
"i lied earlier, i'm sorry." you stared at your socked toes and eunseok's brows furrowed in confusion. lied? what is she talking about?
"about what?" you looked up to meet eunseok's eyes. they bored into you, sending a shiver down your spine as your mouth suddenly dried up. clearing your throat slightly, the secret you had been keeping for so long slipped from your lips.
"i can't shower with you." well, not quite. eunseok chuckled lightly at your serious tone.
"what? why does that matter?" he pried further, chuckling at your pout. you didn't find this situation amusing, all of the memories of eunseok rejecting you flowing back into your mind. letting out a tearful sigh, your face fell into your hands with a loud smack.
"i can't because i already have feelings for you!" eunseok's lazy smile dropped immediately, not only at the fact that you just confessed to him, but also because you were now crying into your hands.
"i like you so much, i'm sorry seokie. sohee was right about me." you sniffled and cried even harder into your hands, not realizing eunseok kneeling in front of you. your crying subsided as eunseok's hands wrapped around yours, pulling them away from your teary face.
"you're seriously something else." your best friend smiled at your teary eyes and red nose. even while crying you looked so adorable to him. you opened your mouth to whine at him but he placed a finger over your lips, continuing.
"i can't shower with you either, y/n" your face crumpled even more.
"because i'm not even close to your type! i already know that, you asshole." it was your turn to stare in confusion as eunseok laughed and shook his head.
"no, don't you get it?" a thick silence hung in the air as you racked your brain for any possible explanation.
because he wants to keep things platonic? no, that can't be it. or maybe ...
no.
does he... like me?
eunseok watched the gears turn in your head, seeing your face fill with realization before you spoke.
"do you l-" eunseok didn't give you a chance to finish your question, moving forward and swiftly capturing your lips in his own.
you made a noise of surprise before shutting your eyes, reaching for his shirt to pull him on top of you. eunseok was gentle as ever with you, laying you down on the bed slowly. hovering over you, he let his tongue run across your bottom lip, coaxing your mouth further open so he could taste more of you.
you sighed out in satisfaction as you felt his warm tongue explore your mouth. you don't know how long you'd been waiting for this moment. running your hands along the blades of his shoulders, you pressed them into his back, hugging him close as if he might disappear.
entangling his legs with yours, breathing the same air as you, eunseok wanted to capture this moment and lock it in his memory forever. he decided instead to let you know how he felt through his lips and hands, easing his fingers through your hair and sucking your bottom lip.
as he pulled away and the two of you watched the string of saliva connecting your lips, you wondered how you managed to bottle up your feelings for the boy above you for as long as you did.
twisting the hem of your shirt, eunseok looked into your eyes with a hooded gaze, drunk off of you.
"can i?"
[...]
opening your eyes slowly, you registered your surroundings. you were snuggled in bed, wrapped in your comforter.
as you mind flashed with the memories of the bar last night, you shot up in bed.
"morning." you screamed at the greeting, turning to see eunseok laying next to you in your bed, scrolling through his phone lazily.
"what are you-" you question was interrupted by a loud noise from the boy's stomach.
"ugh, i'm so hungry, lemme go pee and let's get something to eat, yeah?" eunseok fought to hide his laugh as he watched you scratch the back of neck in confusion.
[...]
you stared at eunseok intensely as he ate his burger and fries like a starved man. you and your best friend were seated in nearby diner. you wished you knew what eunseok was thinking; he hadn't brought up the events of the night before and you were starting to think they didn't even happen. not to mention your memory was pretty foggy following eunseok helping you to your room anyways.
you hoped nothing happened past the two of you making out; you'd really want to remember sleeping with eunseok if you did. looking up at eunseok nonchalantly sipping on his coke, your patience ran out.
"we didn't sleep together, right?" eunseok swallowed his drink slowly, letting your question hang in the air for the moment before answering.
"what do you remember?" he inquired and you exhaled shallowly.
"kissing. and you took off my shirt i think." the boy in front of you smiled. he was secretly very happy you remembered the night before. he'd be a little bothered if he was the only one who remembered your first kiss together.
"yeah, you passed out like right after that." he chuckled, watching your face turn bright red. chewing your bottom lip, you turned your focus back to your food. eunseok smiled softly at you. he thought you were too cute for your own good.
[...]
walking back to your apartment, you turned to eunseok.
"you never told me if you liked me." eunseok stopped in his tracks, turning to look at you in disbeilef.
"the making out wasn't enough of an answer for you?" he laughed as you smacked his arm, hoping no one passing by heard eunseok's crass answer.
"song eunseok!" smiling like you were the only person in the world, eunseok grabbed your hand and laced his fingers with yours.
"y/n, i like you too. will you go out with me?" swinging your arms, he pouted at you, waiting for answer.
"ugh, you're so corny." snatching your hand out of his grasp, you jokingly walked away from the boy, giggling.
"hey! you're the one with a crush on me!" he chased after you, laughing as he wrapped his arms around you and locked you in his grasp. turning in his arms to face him, you met his brown eyes and smiled prettily.
"i'd love to go out with you."
[bonus — the day eunseok "rejected" you]
"y/n.... she's nice and i like her. she's not even close to my type, though."
eunseok's words hung in the air as he searched for the right way to express his thoughts. just hearing your name made his cheeks flush pink. balancing his chin in his hand, he continued.
"somehow though, she seems prettier every time i see her." this earned a loud cheer from the two boys.
"eunseok hyung, you really surprised me." seunghan laughed at the eunseok's dopey smile.
"could you guys please keep it a secret for me?"
...
taglist: @shnnzsworld @beomgyusonlywife @pompompush @forrds @yoursyuno @snowyseungs @dreamiestay @taeraeverse
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@steddie-week day 3: discover + first kiss
"There you are!" Eddie says, like he's been looking for him everywhere, his face even lighting up as he enters the kitchen.
"Here I am." Steve shoots back.
Steve's sure that he's wearing a similar expression. He missed him.
After Eddie and Robin graduated, Eddie took a job at a local auto shop while Robin and Steve took jobs at the library and filled out college applications.
During that time the three of them had gotten really close, talking each other through tough times and celebrating what they achieved together.
Steve moved with Robin to start school at the beginning of this year and Eddie stayed with his uncle, still figuring out what he wanted to do with his future.
So, this is the first time they've been apart for months since they met, and Steve did not anticipate how much he would need to see him, to hear him.
The phone doesn't do his voice justice.
Steve puts the dough down to wipe the flour off his hands, but his eyes never leave Eddie as he drops his tote bag on a stool across from Steve.
"Can't believe they left you here with all the work, man" Eddie laments, shaking his head and walking around the kitchen island to where Steve is.
Steve's heart beats oddly fast in his chest as he huffs a small laugh and tries to figure out if a hug is okay in the split second before Eddie pulls him into his arms.
Steve wraps his arms around him and rests his chin on Eddie's shoulder, relieved.
"I don't mind" Steve murmurs, about making the pizza while the kids catch up with Robin and Nancy in the living room.
Eddie chuckles, softly claps his back and pulls away to grab Steve's shoulders instead
"Of course you don't" he says, with mirth in his eyes "How are you, Stevie?" he asks, his head tilting to the side and his dimples showing.
"Hi" Steve says to those dimples he hadn't seen in so long "I mean- good. I'm good" Steve smiles, genuinely delighted. "How are you? How was the drive?" Steve asks
"Ugh, it was hell!" Eddie slumps a little when he says it, his exhaustion evident "but I'm good!" he assures, "you know what I need?"
Steve shakes his head no "What?"
"To help you make like seven pizzas right now," Eddie answers, squeezing Steve's shoulders before letting go. "Where do you need me?"
That's a question.
It's not like Steve hadn't notice his crush on Eddie before he moved away, but he was kind of ignoring it, or at least trying to for the sake of their friendship.
Clicking with someone the way he did with Eddie was rare for him, he didn't wanna risk losing that, especially after so many failed dates; Steve was just kinda over the whole thing.
And Eddie never showed anything more than friendly affection so, really, it was the right thing to do to just, pretend like Eddie's eyes weren't the only thing he could think of when the sun first filtered through his windows.
And he'd thought it would go away in time, and then with so many miles between them.
But here he is again, asking how he can help Steve cook pizza for their friends and Steve kinda wants to cry a bit, because no, of course it wouldn't go away.
If anything it seems distance has made it worse, Steve feels intoxicated by the smell of cigarettes and pine trees.
"Um, there's two in the oven" Steve points out, "and everything's already chopped up, I guess you can help me put the toppings on these next two?" Steve suggests, going back to knead two more bases out of the dough he left on the island countertop.
"Yessir!" Eddie salutes, walking back to rummage in his tote. "I brought brownies for dessert," Eddie offers, bringing out the container "totally safe." he assures.
"I have ice cream too, which I assume im putting there?" Eddie asks, pointing to the refrigerator behind Steve, Steve nods.
Eddie brings out the tub of ice cream and spots something else in his bag "oh and I had olives!" he places an olives jar on the table before walking towards the fridge.
"I thought you didn't like olives" Steve comments
Eddie sticks his head in their freezer and answers "oh, I don't mind them"
Steve fully turns to him with a confused frown "no, i remember you specifically requesting no olives in our pizza for the past, like, year"
Eddie's making space in their freezer, moving things around. He casually says "that's because you don't like them, Stevie" and continues his task like what he just said has no significance at all.
Steve blinks, feels stuck to where he's standing.
Steve had mentioned he doesn't like olives maybe a week after the whole upside down business, when the kids had been at Dustin's and Claudia had offered him salad during dinner, which he politely refused, because it had olives.
Eddie was there, they had all been working on characters for their next campaign and stayed for dinner. Steve had only dropped by to deliver a book Dustin left in his car, and Claudia invited him to stay.
Come to think of it, Eddie had enjoyed that salad just fine.
Steve never mentioned olives again.
And it wouldn't be until a month later that Eddie would first order pizza for them making that specific request.
For Steve.
And it's so silly, it's such a small thing, but all of a sudden a myriad of small things are thrust in Steve's face.
Eddie watching Grease with him, Eddie always knowing how he takes his coffee, Eddie singing along to ABBA in Steve's car, Eddie complimenting the jacket everyone said made him look dorky, Eddie keeping a Tears For Fears tape in his car, Eddie using one of his sick days to help him pack the stuff in his room, Eddie memorizing his schedule and calling him multiple times a week for the past few months exactly when he knew Steve would be home and bored without Robin.
It's like someone lifts a veil off his eyes.
Steve's watched Friday the 13th five times and would watch it again if it was with Eddie, he knows Eddie takes his coffee with a frankly concerning amount of sugar, there's a Black Sabbath record in his room right now!
He's never put in this type of effort with friends before! They either have similar tastes already or Steve doesn't feel the need to match them anyways.
It's different with Eddie, it's like he wants to be connected to him somehow, make sure they're close.
He didn't know Robin liked tea until they moved in together! He knows Eddie categorically refuses to try tea in any form. And actually, his uncle got him thinking about it and he's considering to change that, Eddie told him about it last Thursday while Robin was at band practice.
He's never tried somebody else's music without them asking for it, he's never volunteered to watch a horror movie, he's never worn clothes he thought wouldn't fit his style, he's only ever done that with
"Eddie" he says out loud, it comes out a little breathless but Eddie doesn't seem to notice.
"Hmm?" he acknowledges, finally placing the ice cream in the freezer and Steve catches a glimpse of it as Eddie shuts the freezer door.
He turns to Steve and raises his eyebrows.
"Was that cookies and cream?" Steve asks
"Mhm. Yep" Eddie confirms
"Why'd you buy that one?" Steve wants to know.
Eddie shrugs " 'Cause it's your favorite" he answers, easy.
So easy. Like he didn't even consider any other flavor.
"Why did you buy my favorite ice cream, Eddie?" Steve insists,
Eddie splutters "I- I um, I mean do you not-?" he trails off and looks at Steve's posture, the way he hasn't moved a hair in the last couple of moments must click then. His eyes trail up to meet Steve's again and realization dawns on his face.
"Holy shit, Steve. You didn't know?"
"What?! What do you mean I didn't know? Who knew?!"
"I-! um, everyone? I'm not exactly subt-"
"oh my god!"
Steve can feel the blood warming his face and ears and it seems to spring Eddie back into action.
"I mean! Clearly not everyone knew! You didn't know!" he says walking over to him and running his hands up and down Steve's arms "pfft, practically no one knew!"
"Eddie" Steve wants to laugh but he's afraid he might burst into tears.
"I thought you knew" Eddie says in the smallest voice he's used so far, his hands stilling.
"I'm sorry" Steve says,
"No!" Eddie protests, his hands coming up to grab Steve's face "No, sweetheart, you have nothing to be sorry about"
Steve scoffs,
"Of course you didn't know!" Eddie continues "I never told you!" his hands caress Steve's cheeks and Steve thinks his knees might give out.
"So, I'm telling you now" Eddie says, determined. He takes a deep breath.
He looks into Steve's eyes and says "Steve, I am crazy about you. Not a day has gone by since the eighth fucking grade where I haven't thought about you. And since last year, it has been nothing but good things. I promise"
Steve snorts a laugh at that, his hands coming up to hold on to Eddie's wrists as they both shake with soft laughter.
"You have the most beautiful smile i have ever seen in my life" Eddie goes on. "You are the bravest, kindest, most badass person I know, your hair is a fucking miracle and your eyes. god, your eyes. i have tried to find something that even remotely gets close to the color of your eyes and I can't, and I've resigned myself to never finding it because even an exact match would not make me feel the way your eyes do. Because they're very pretty, but it's not about the color. It's just the fact that you're looking at me"
"God, Eddie" Steve sniffles, not sure what to even do with all the happiness inside of him.
Eddie scoffs a soft laugh "Seeing you happy makes me very happy." he explains "So i try to do little things that'll help that happen. That's why I bought your favorite ice cream, Stevie"
Steve smiles at him and rubs circles against his wrists.
Eddie, seemingly unable to stop talking says "it's selfish really, if you think abo-"
"I'm gonna kiss you now" Steve tells him
"Oh, oka-mmph"
Eddie's lips are soft and gentle and Steve has to coax him into being less tentative but once he does, Eddie kisses him insistently, never letting Steve get too far away, like he can't get enough of Steve. It makes Steve's heart flutter in his chest.
When they finally come up for breath Steve tells him "I can't believe you like olives" trailing his hands down his sides.
Eddie laughs, Steve loves that sound.
"I can stop" Eddie reminds him, placing a peck against Steve's smile.
"And I don't like them" he continues "i just don't mind 'em"
Steve hums a disapproving tone but still leans in for another small kiss.
"I only brought them in case anyone wanted them! they were left over I swear" Eddie excuses against his lips. Steve giggles, his hands now on Eddie's waist, toying with his chains.
"You look good today" Steve tells him
"Oh?"
"Smell good too." Steve says, nosing his cheek. Eddie shivers.
"Always do" Steve clarifies, his mouth coming back to kiss Eddie softly as his hands trail up to play with strands of his hair.
"Your hair's so soft" Steve continues "and pretty. You're pretty"
It makes Eddie blush and Steve grins, delighted by what he achieved.
"And you're brave too Eds, and badass, and cool and fun" Steve smiles when Eddie scoffs but once he sobers up he continues "And I think your eyes are prettier than rays of sunshine." Steve tells him "And I think I'd do anything for you" he adds.
Before he can register the way Eddie's looking at him, Steve's being kissed again with an assuredness that makes him sigh.
The only thing that parts them is the oven timer dinging and even then, Steve has to threaten Eddie with no pizza if he doesn't let Steve go.
Steve doesn't think he's ever been happier.
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disneyprincemuke · 9 months
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where the fun begins, 2 * ls2 (ms47)
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it’s friday: logan throws the party he’s claims he’s having just for you to come around, not even knowing if you’ll be attending
pairings: frat!logan x reader, college!mick x reader
notes: um im on my phone in school i dont have a word count and neither did i plan on making this this long… sry guys uwu hope u like it (i’m desperately running out of logan gifs pls help me)
biggest thanks to @angsthology for helping me out with the white man fight and smug logan because i couldnt, for the life of me, figure that scene out so thank yew baby :*
(f1 masterlist)
| one | two | three | four |
friday rolls around, two days since logan had seen you in the bowling alley with another guy. he also spent the last two days organising a party, completely last minute, sending the entire house into a frenzy to set it in stone.
typically, parties are structured and planned at least two weeks ahead of time. but this time is different.
he can't ignore the frustration that clouds his thoughts when he thinks of that night. or you, in general. all he sees is you wrapped around someone else's arms.
he's been watching the door for the past hour, curious if you had taken him up on his invitation. it's been two hours since the start of the party, and logan knows damn well that word has gotten around about their open house party.
it should have been invitational only, as they usually host their parties. but it's way too last minute to make it an exclusive party. so, they made sure word got around.
he knows that you know what time the party starts. because mick's friends have already made their way into the frat house, drowning in alcohol and pressed up against girls on the dance floor. he only wonders if you would ever come by.
logan folds his arms over his chest, smiling smugly as he watches the crowd pour into the dimly lit home. he turns to oscar. "see? i told you i could pull it off."
oscar stops next to him, hands in his pockets. "i got to say – this is the most effort i've seen you put in a girl," oscar teases, glancing at his friend from the corners of his eyes. "you must really like her."
"i just don't like losing," logan scoffs with an eye roll. "especially not to some loser like the guy she's with."
losing? no, he is jealous. but he would rather abolish this entire party as a whole than admit that to anybody.
"schumacher?" oscar laughs, throwing his head back. "he's not even a loser, mate. have you even talked to him?"
"whose side are you on, dude?" logan frowns, throwing his arms in the air. "there is a wrong answer to this question."
oscar rolls his eyes and punches logan. objectively speaking, he is on mick's side; for your sake. but in a friend perspective, he’ll always be on logan’s side. but even he can admit logan’s a bit of a dick sometimes.
"whatever, dude." he smiles to himself, watching liam open the door to let another crowd in. "it's a very well-put-together party. i'm surprised. where did you get the keg on such short notice?"
logan has this shit-eating grin on his face, one that oscar desperately wants to wipe off. but he can only step back and watch the downfall of all his antics. it's funnier that way.
"frederik knows a guy."
oscar raises an eyebrow. "alright, mate." he pats logan on the back. "liam’s hosting the beer pong. let’s go?”
logan shakes his head, staring at the door with his arms folded over his chest. “later.”
“staring at the door won’t increase the chances of her coming,” oscar hums proudly, patting him on the back. he pushes him through the crowd of college students and massages his shoulder as he tries to find where liam had set up the table. "and anyway, they're coming after pre-drinks."
logan stops in his tracks. "how do you know that?"
oscar steps back with a smirk. "lily told me. did i not update you on that?" he sighs dramatically and rolls his eyes. "must have slipped my mind."
he knew, since the night logan plotted this party, that you and your friends would be pre-drinking before coming here. another reason you're apparently dragging your feet here is for lily – not wanting her to be alone in a frat house.
as honest of a guy oscar tries to keep himself, it doesn't remove suspicion from him trying to take advantage of her. understandable and respectable. so he told you to take your time.
"dude!" logan scowls, shoving oscar back. "that's vital information you should have told me ages ago! i've watched the door like a fucking hawk all night waiting to see if she's coming."
"it's funnier this way," oscar giggles. "also, it's because i'm dating lily."
"you're what? since when? why didn't you tell me earlier?"
"way before you started seeing her. but you're focused on the wrong thing, mate."
"i doubt that, actually."
"oi, beer pong bitches!" liam screams, his hands cupped over his mouth as he beckons for the pair to approach him. he's knelt on a bar stool to catch their attention in the crowd. "logan is up first for the public versus the house."
logan chuckles, slowly making his way towards the beer pong table once more. "are you sure? i'm undefeated, mate," he turns to his friends, "you'll never get your turn if i'm up first."
frederik grins, gesturing towards the rows of red cups filled with sizzling cheap beer. "we wanna see how long you last."
oscar giggles, patting his back. "revenge for making us scramble to put together this party at such short notice."
"and anyway," liam laughs breathily, stumbling into logan's body. he takes a sip from the red cup in his hand. "we have another table for the casual games by the pool."
"and i don't get to play at that table? how rude," logan scoffs, stepping towards the table. he spreads his arms out as he looks around the crowd. "any takers?"
there are a couple who try taking logan down in his own game of beer pong. but as someone who's always in attendance at every party on campus, he's simply mastered the game – how to distract his opponents when he's losing, how to throw them off the game, and how to hit the ball into the cups.
he's figured it all out.
the games pass by very quick, and logan only drinks a couple of cups out of the 6 opponents that are brave enough to step up to the challenge.
"seriously?" logan giggles, slightly intoxicated from the beer. he watches the previous guy walking away, greeted by his group of friends and consolations for a 'nice try'. but logan knows it wasn't a good try. he didn't have a fighting chance at beating him. "where's the real challenge?"
"i could probably beat you."
he hears a chorus of 'oh's from his own friends crowded behind him, lifting his head to meet a pair of blue ones. he sees you first, hands on someone else's body and an arm wrapped around your shoulders. his eyes land on mick, smugly grinning at him with a hand inside the pocket of his jacket nonchalantly.
"yo, isn't that-"
"liam, read the room."
logan doesn't notice lily threading the edge of the makeshift circle over to his side, greeting oscar with a smile. he tilts his head at mick. "you think you can beat me? i'm undefeated, bro."
he sees you whispering something at mick, swatting at him with a small smile. logan knows that look: the flushed cheeks, swollen lips and slightly smudged mascara under your eyes. you'd drunk a little too much during your pre-drinks.
and so do you with logan: the heaving, permanent sly lazy grin and slumped shoulders. you even notice the way he's already slurring at his words.
"mick, should you really be entertaining this?"
mick smiles down at you, squeezing you with a soft shake. "just a bit of fun. we're at a party after all. i'll keep it friendly."
"i know you will. but will he?"
"trust me?"
you tilt your head and lift an eyebrow. you sigh with a small smile, "fine."
"asking for permission?" logan scoffs. "what are you, scared?"
mick scrunches his nose, lifting his hands from you. "no, mate. reassuring her," he smiles. he slowly tears his jacket off of his arms.
logan clenches his jaw at the sheer audacity when mick turns around and hands you his jacket. he feels a wave of anger, something he's never felt before, rising in his chest when mick leans down and presses a quick kiss to your red cheeks.
this might just be jealousy. but it's an emotion so foreign to logan that he doesn't even notice it. in his head, he's just mad that he's lost you to this guy.
someone rumoured to have gotten into the school through his dad’s connections.
"you sure you wanna embarrass yourself in front of her?" logan asks sweetly, biting down on his bottom lip. "one more chance to back out, schumacher."
mick shrugs and steps towards logan. "all in, mate."
"just making sure you don't embarrass your little girlfriend," logan grins, craning his neck slightly and squints his eyes down at you. "you don't want everyone to see him lose to me, do you? you should advise him otherwise."
you don't even get a chance to react before mick steps into logan's line of vision to you. "don't bring her into this."
logan scoffs, eyeing mick up and down. he furrows his eyebrows and tilts his head. "huh?"
"let's keep this friendly?" mick smiles. he extends his hand towards logan.
logan's gaze trails to the hand held out in front of him. he chuckles dryly before turning away, earning another chorus of gasps and shocked whispers around him, walking over to his side of the table. "you know how to play beer pong, don't you?"
mick purses his lips together, retracting his arm before padding over to his spot. "yeah."
liam looks between them, drunkenly filling up the new set of cups with beer. the kiwi can only hope that they keep talking so that he doesn't have to rush with the cups.
"i can teach you if you'd like."
"no, i think i can handle myself."
"alrighty," liam stands, clasping his hands together. "enough yapping. play the stupid game, you guys. it's just beer pong."
logan remembers a time when you used to be in this crowd. cheering for him instead of some random guy you met in one of your classes. you should be on the other side of the crowd next to oscar and arthur.
logan doesn’t do great with losing. if that hasn’t been implied, he doesn’t know any other way to show it.
mick crosses his arms over his torso. “make a shot, reigning champ.”
“i can be generous,” logan scrunches his nose, pressing his lips together. “guests first.”
the boy across the table shrugs. the game doesn’t go by as fast as the previous ones that logan plays. mick was actually true to his word, knowing how to play the game.
logan’s drank more cups than he’s ever in the entirety of the evening. he has to take a couple of deep breaths, staring down at the table when mick hits the ball into the last cup on his side.
he lost. he… lost? how is that possible?
“good game,” mick smiles with a polite nod across the table.
logan scans the table, taking his last cup into his hand. he hadn’t even stood a chance against mick. he still had more than half his set on the table.
mick swiftly turns around, ready to approach you when logan speaks. “one more?”
“mate-“
oscar taps liam on the shoulder, his one arm around lily’s shoulders, and grins. “no, let him do what he wants,” he glances at lily, who is smiling back at him, “i wanna see how this goes.”
“he’s gonna get himself into a fight, oscar,” liam mutters, pointing at logan. “you know him.”
“let him,” oscar shrugs. “he’s an adult — he knows what he’s getting into.”
“one more?” mick asks, halfway towards you. “are you sure?”
“yeah. best of three?”
“logan,” frederik calls out, pressing his lips into a thin line and shaking his head. “mate. he beat you fair and square.”
“no, it’s alright,” mick smiles. “no hard feelings.”
“very hard feelings,” logan mutters to himself, reaching to the side to open a beer can to replenish everything himself. “you stole my girlfriend.”
liam quickly takes over logan, swatting his hands away as he fills one cup sloppily with half of the liquid trickling down the side.
the next game goes by even quicker than before, the entire duration flashing right in front of logan’s eyes. he’s lost again. at least, it was closer this time. it was tied down to one last cup. mick simply played his shot better.
in normal circumstances, maybe logan would have just taken the loss as one would. but this is mick we’re talking about. logan will be anything but diplomatic about it.
“you had me nervous for a moment there!” you giggle. you move your arm out to avoid spilling the cocktail that frederik very graciously mixed for you during the game. “i thought you were going to have to play the third round.”
mick laughs breathily, blinking rapidly with a hand on his chest. “me too. i’m filled with alcohol,” he laughs, sweeping you into his arms. he pressed a sloppy kiss to your cheek, lifting you slightly from the ground. “let’s go whenever you want to?”
“aw, mate,” frederik sighs, heading over to mick. “house rules: the winner stays until defeated.”
“no way,” you whine, jokingly tearing frederik’s hands from mick. “i wanna head to the bar and get another drink with him!”
“fuck this,” logan mutters, throwing the racket down on the table. he snatches the last cup on the table and glances over at you excitedly bouncing as mick swept you up into his arms.
he rolls his eyes, whirling around and heading towards the backyard of the house.
mick hums as you engage in a conversation with frederik, his hand still on your waist. “um, hold on,” he whispers, tapping you gently. “i’ll go check on him. he looks mad.”
you tug on his shirt. “no, he’ll be okay. he’s just a sore loser, mick.”
he laughs, shaking his head as he detaches himself from your grasp. “i just wanna ask him if he’s okay. i’ll meet you guys at the bar.”
you hum hesitantly, letting go of his hands finger by finger. frederik nudges you in the direction of the bar where oscar and lily are already walking towards.
mick steps out into the backyard, hopeful to find the blonde that turned his back on them. while he didn’t frequent petty fights, logan’s reactions are just very entertaining to him. all because he had failed to appreciate your presence when he was blessed with it and mick stepped up to take you out on a date.
and when he was hearing whispers about logan remaining undefeated at the beer pong table, he took up on the chances. perhaps the alcohol made him feel slightly competitive.
he’s ashamed to admit that he let his ego get the best of him and that’s why he stepped up to logan’s challenge.
“mate,” mick announces his presence, slowly approaching logan sitting on one of the sun beds by the pool. “i hope you didn’t take the game to heart.”
“fuck off,” logan mutters, dropping his head low. he picks at the grass under the bed and clenches his jaw. “what are you doing here anyway? shouldn’t you be celebrating with your girlfriend?”
“she’s not my girlfriend.” logan looks up, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “yet.”
“seriously, what’s your deal? have you just come here to parade in my face that you got the girl or something?” logan pushes himself up to his feet. “i get it, man.”
mick sighs. “no. i was checking on you. you look like you had too much to drink there.”
“i don’t need you babysitting me,” logan shakes his head and folds his arms over his chest. “i’m a grown adult.”
“do you need some water? i don’t imagine you feel so good after chugging that much beer,” mick mutters under his breath. “you should really sit down.”
“don’t act like you care.”
“logan,” mick sighs, closing his eyes momentarily to let his frustration pass. “iced or room temp water?”
logan rolls his eyes. “stop acting all saint-like, man. i know you wanna hit me.”
“mate, i do not want to hit you.”
“for sure, you do. you just don’t know it yet.” logan shoves his hands into his pockets. he takes a step forward. “we all know you want to hit me. just do it.”
mick takes note of the step he takes, but stays planted into the ground. “i don’t want to fight you.”
“i know you do. the urge just hasn’t clawed at you yet,” logan grins sloppily. another step forward. “or are you holding back? because she doesn’t like messy guys and you’re scared you’ll lose her it you throw a punch?”
“i’m not holding back. fighting is a waste of time — i don’t like it.”
“she’s very conservative, dude, but she’s very forgiving,” logan nods, looking into the glass doors that lead into the house. he tries to spot you in the crowd but when he doesn’t, he returns his attention to mick. “you’re allowed a couple mistakes.”
“i’m not taking advantage of her like that.”
“i’m not asking you to take advantage of her kindness. i’m telling you that if you need to throw a punch or two, she will definitely forgive you. no need to be scared.”
mick laughs slightly, throwing his hands into the air to surrender. “i’m really not looking to fight with you. that’s beyond me, mate.”
“she appreciates when you let loose a little bit,” logan nods to himself. “why do you think we were going out all those months together? it’s not just cause i won her over with my charm, ya know. she’s got a bit of a wild side, mate.”
mick tilts his head, squinting slightly. he appreciates the extent logan is going to just to rile him up.
“if you don’t know that, then maybe she’s just not comfortable with you.” one more step forward. “i know so well a side of her even you’ve never seen before.”
“do you?”
“yeah,” logan answers in a low tone. he drops his head, one corner of his lips turning up into a smirk. “she’s got that perfect picture smile from a magazine, but you should have seen her when we went to this one party on campus.”
“ah. so?”
“do you know that she gets touchy when she consumes tequila?” logan perks up innocently. “very brave — she’s taken body shots before, you know. off of me?”
“okay? that was a frat party; of course you guys would host that kind of activity. i was there when that happened.”
logan ignores the jabs at the fraternity.
“kissed her yet? in case you haven’t, she tastes like those strawberry mints she always keep a tin of inside her pocket. they’re very minty, but it’s lovely.”
mick grins, pursing his together. “yeah, i know.”
“have you seen her in that one baby doll dress that she likes wearing a lot? what about her yellow sundress that barely covers her thighs?” logan pouts his bottom lip out. “it’s a scene when the wind comes by.”
“mate, you’re kind of crossing a line now,” the german chuckles. “don’t talk about her like that. i know you like her too.”
logan takes another step forward, eager to find that one trigger in mick. “do you know the mole she’s got on her hip? on the left side of her lower back. it’s really really visible when you’re fuc–“
“aw, fuck’s sake!”
logan almost bursts into laughter when he realises what had happened. his back meets the land of grass in the backyard, a pain shooting through his face. when he looks up, a crowd has formed around them during their conversation and liam is already knelt by his side.
lifting his head, he sees mick covering his face with both hands. he runs his hands through his hair as he looks down at logan with wide eyes, hands cupping his warm cheeks. “oh, my god. oh my god.”
oscar and lily pour out of the glass doors with a crowd following them out, the australian raising his eyebrows at his best friend lying back on the ground with a bloody nose.
“logan?” oscar asks, already knowing that he’s probably done or said something to trigger the normally calm headed man in front of him. “what did you do?”
logan scoffs, letting liam help him to sit on the sun bed. “i have the bloody nose and you’re asking me what i did? why don’t you ask him? he hit me.” logan points at mick as he takes the tissues that liam is putting into his hands.
oscar stares at logan. “really? you’re going with that?”
“yeah,” logan grins, glancing at mick. he presses the tissues to his nose, hissing when pain shoots through his face again at the contact. “god, dude. you don’t look like it but you can throw a punch.”
mick nurses his knuckle, taking a couple of steps back. “i know, mate. i’m not stupid.”
you stumble out of the glass doors, heaving as frederik keeps a firm grip on your shoulders. you were in one of the bathrooms upstairs — where it’s exceptionally cleaner — when mick threw the punch (frederik was holding your purse waiting for you outside the door).
when you made your way back down, the crowd inside the house halved. frederik would tap ollie, taking body shots off of someone, asking where everyone had gone.
and ollie, lying back on the table as he put salt on his stomach, pointed to the backyard and muttered something about a possible fight. “logan, maybe,” he muttered before promptly shooing you away.
you look at mick first, who has his shoulders slumped with oscar and lily by his side and is staring at you with guilt all over his face. then you look at logan, being nursed by liam and someone else, with a tissue and an ice pack against his face.
“yeah?” logan perks up with a scoff at you. “can’t pick who to nurse?”
@cashtons-wife @localwhoore @vroomvroomcircuit @foreveralbon @what-is-happening-helpp
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betterthanburrow · 1 year
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Afterglow - Joe Burrow
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Summary: After weeks of purposefully avoiding a conversation that you need to have with Joe regarding your future together, your relationship is put at risk because of your overthinking thoughts… In order to safe your relationship, you’ll just have to learn that the future will be okay.
Genre: Angst (Establish Relationship)
“Tell Me That You're Still Mine. Tell Me That We'll Be Just Fine. Even When I Lose My Mind… Tell Me That It's Not My Fault. Tell Me That I'm All You Want. Even When I Break Your Heart.” Taylor Swift; Afterglow.
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As football season has just come to an end, there are people already talking about the upcoming football season that is months away… Just a few weeks ago, your boyfriend Joe Burrow played his last college football game and won the National Championship for LSU which has made every college football fan excited to see what is the next step in his football career.
The people in the media are starting to talk about the upcoming NFL Draft which is still two months away and the rumors have been going around of which NFL team Joe Burrow will be drafted too… And your family and friends have already began to discuss your boyfriend’s career in the NFL before he is even drafted.
Despite all of these conversations happening, you’ve decided to not participate in these conversations… When people would ask you about the rumors that the media has been spreading about which NFL teams have been in contract with Joe, all you do is smile and say that you don’t know anything because it’s true, you don’t know anything because you don’t want to know.
The transition between college football and NFL has been a transition that you had been dreading to experience since the beginning of your relationship with Joe Burrow just a few months after he has transferred from Ohio State to LSU… For the last few weeks since the conversations about Joe Burrow going to the NFL started, you’ve tried as best as you could to not participate in those conversations.
While people assumed that you are being a good girlfriend and not giving answers to the rumors spreading around… Joe knew that was not the reason why you weren’t participating in the conversations with people, because you weren’t participating in the conversations about his future football career with him.
Throughout the past few weeks, Joe would notice how you would tense up when he or anyone around you would bring up the upcoming NFL Draft and the discussions going around of which team Joe Burrow would be drafted too… Anytime he would try to talk about why you get tensed up just by hearing the word “NFL”, you would just shut down the conversation and try to change the subject as fast as you can.
Joe knew that the transition from playing college football to playing in the NFL would be a big transition for him, but he always knew that transition would be a big transition for you as well… He has cared so much about you since the day the two of you met and he wanted you to be comfortable with the transition as much as possible. There was a huge chance that the two of you would be in a long distance relationship for some time as you would in your senior year at LSU while Joe would be starting his career in the NFL.
As Joe sat on the couch in your apartment waiting for you to get back home from work, he was watching ESPN on your TV hearing them discuss about the upcoming NFL Draft… And for some reason, he decided that today would be the day that he would finally have a conversation with you about the reasons why you’ve been avoiding the conversations about the NFL Draft and the future of his football career.
The sound of the apartment door being unlocked pulled Joe out of his thoughts and a smiled appeared on his face as he finally saw you walk into the apartment… He stood up from his spot on the couch and walk over to where you stood, giving you a hug from behind and a kiss on your cheek as you put your purse down onto the kitchen counter.
“Hi Princess.” Joe says after kissing your cheek, making you blush. “How was work?”
“It was good but it was a long day.” you reply, turning around to face him as you wrap your arms around his neck. “The restaurant was busy as always but, thankfully the day went by fast and now I’m home.”
“That’s good to hear.” Joe says with a smile on his face as he leans down to give you a kiss. Before you could kiss him back, he pulls away and the smile reappears on his face which causes a confused expression to form on your face.
“Is everything okay?” you ask, furrowing your eyebrows at your boyfriend. “You’re acting weird.”
“I’m acting weird because I asked you how was work and gave you a kiss?” Joe asks. “I’m just happy to see you now that you’re home from work that’s all.”
“Remember we have dinner plans with my parents tonight since they’re in town.” you say, as you move away from him to walk to the bedroom to change out of your work clothes into more comfortable clothes. “The reservation at the restaurant is at 8pm so we don’t have to rush to be ready just yet.”
Joe was hesitant to follow you to the bedroom, but he decided to walk back into the living room and sit back on the couch to watch the TV… He listened as the hosts at the panel talked about the upcoming draft and the high expectations of all the NFL teams to pick the best players to represent their team and to lead the next generation of football players.
You could hear the TV from your bedroom and cringed every-time you heard your boyfriend’s name. Which NFL team decided to draft him to their team is definitely going to be the luckiest team in the NFL… your boyfriend was something special on the football team; every football fan knew that, every person on every team that he’s played with or played against knew that, and you knew that.
You would never try to let your own insecurities and anxiety stop you from supporting your boyfriend and his dreams… but you couldn’t help but try not to overthink every little conversation that has been going on around Joe and the future of his football career during the past couple of weeks.
Before your overthinking thoughts take over, you finished changing out of your word clothes as fast as you could and tried to ignore the sounds from the TV… When you walked out of your bedroom and back into the living room, Joe was so focused on the things being said on the TV to the point where he hadn’t noticed that you were in the living room.
“Are you ever going to get tired of hearing the same conversations over and over again?” you asked, making your presence known as Joe turned his head from the TV to seeing you standing with your arms crossed over your chest and an annoyed look on your face.
“No… ” Joe answers. “People have high expectations of my future career in the NFL and I need to know what those high expectations are.”
“The NFL draft hasn’t even happened yet…” you say. “How can you know what those high expectations are if you haven’t even been drafted to a team?”
Joe shrugs his shoulders and you roll your eyes as you walk forward to sit next to him on the couch. “It’s not a bad thing to be prepared for what’s coming.” he says.
“I never said it was a bad thing to be prepared.” you defensively reply. “I’m saying this same conversation has been talked about over and over again… You don’t even know what exactly you’re preparing for, last time I checked you haven’t signed any NFL contracts.”
Joe decided to not respond to what you just said and focused his attention back on the TV; he realized that as much as he wanted to have this conversation with you right now, it was just not going to happen as he could tell that you were exhausted from work.
There was silence between the two of you; while Joe was watching the TV as the host panels continued to talk about the NFL Draft, your head was laying in Joe’s lap as you tried to tune out the noise by closing your eyes… It didn’t take long for you to fall into a deep sleep, Joe was used to you taking a nap after work if you had worked the day shift at the restaurant. Since the two of you would be out late tonight, it was best that you take a nap now or else you would be exhausted while out to dinner with your parents.
-
The night at the restaurant was going wonderful so far. It had been a couple of weeks since you’ve seen your parents since they live in a city in the north of Louisiana, the last time your parents were able to visit in Baton Rouge was a few days before the National Championship football game that your parents attended alongside you and Joe’s parents.
Your parents loved Joe since the first time you had introduced him to them just a few months after the two of you had started dating when the relationship was getting very serious… Just like everyone else living in Louisiana; your parents already knew who Joe Burrow was because of his college football career, but they learned how much he cared for their daughter.
As much as your parents knew how much Joe loves you, they were always very concerned with your relationship as they never wanted you to get distracted by love and not focus on your future career.
Over the past few weeks during phone calls, your parents have tried to get any information out of you regarding Joe’s future and what that would mean for your future together… but you always avoided giving your parents an answer because you couldn’t tell them the truth that you didn’t know the answer and that’s your fault for not having the conversation with Joe.
As your time with Joe and your parents went by at one of Baton Rouge’s fanciest restaurants, there was a bubble of anxiety forming in your chest because you knew at any moment the conversation would shift to the topic that you have been avoiding talking about.
The group was finished eating and we’re just patiently waiting for the bill to arrive and for the table to be cleared of the empty dishes… Once you heard your dad clear his throat, knots formed in your stomach as you knew that your dad clearing his throat was a way to get everyone’s attention because the important topic that he wanted to bring up into a conversation.
“Joe… There’s been a lot of talk about the NFL draft.” your dad says. “Are you excited about the future?”
“Yeah there sure has been a lot of talk recently…” Joe says, glancing over to watch your reaction to where the conversation was going before turning his attention to your dad. “I am excited for the next step in my career.”
“That’s good to hear!” your mom exclaims. “You’re truly something special on the football field! LSU was very lucky to have you leading the team to victory!”
“Thank your Mrs. Y/LN.” Joe says, blushing at the compliment from your mother.
“People have been saying that the Cincinnati Bengals will pick you as the first pick of the first round?” you dad says, taking a quick glance to you before looking back at Joe. “I guess Ohio wants their boy back.”
“Yeah I guess so… I would love to play for Cincinnati, I grew up as a huge fan of the team and I would have the opportunity to give back to Ohio.” Joe says.
“Ohio is pretty far from Louisiana.” your mom says.
“Yeah it is…” you mumble under your breathe, not realizing that Joe heard what you said.
“It is far…” Joe says. “But Ohio is home to me.”
Before either of your parents could respond to Joe, the waiter came to pick up the empty dishes and handed the bill to your dad who had offered to pay for everything tonight… Tension quickly filled the void of silence, you didn’t want to look over to look at Joe because the two of you knew he said something that had your parents concerned for their daughter.
“So I’m assuming that the two of you will be doing long distance for some time if you’re going to be in Ohio.” your mom says after the waiter walks away from the table. “Y/N has a year left at LSU… it’s not smart of her to give up her dreams of becoming a nurse just to be a football players’ housewife.”
The words that came from your mom didn’t shock either of you, she was always a very honest woman who would never lie to not hurt someone’s feelings… you and Joe looked over at each other and for the first time since the two of you started dating, neither of you could understand the expressions on your faces.
“We haven’t had that conversation yet.” you answered, looking away from Joe to look over at your parents.
“And why not?” your dad asked. “The two of you are in a very serious relationship with each other right?”
“This is a very serious relationship.” Joe defensively says. “We will have the conversation about us and our future when we’re ready to talk about it.”
“And when will the two of you be ready for that conversation… Will that be after you get drafted to the Cincinnati Bengals?” your mom asked, looking directly at Joe for him to give her an answer.
“The conversation will happen Mom.” you snapped. “We’re just taking things day by day right now. This just hasn’t been something that been on our mind.”
“Well… This is something that should be on your mind.” your dad states. “Your relationship is going to change the minute he is announced to be drafted to the NFL.”
“Trust me… We know that things will change.” you say. “At least, I know that.” glancing over at Joe to him furrow his eyebrows in confusion of what you meant.
“Don’t wait to long to have that conversation between the two of you.” your mom spoke just as the waiter arrives back at the table with the receipt of the bill.
And just like that, the conversation was over. There were things on Joe’s mind that he wanted to say out-loud but, he knew those things couldn’t be said in front of your parents in a restaurant with strangers around.
There was no point in staying seated at the table in the restaurant any longer, so the four of you got up front your seats and walked towards the front door out to the patio area of the restaurant.
Your parents pulled you and Joe into hugs as this would be the last time you would see your parents until spring break since they would be leaving Baton Rouge early in the morning tomorrow.
“Please talk to Joe about the future.” your mom whispers in your ear. “I don’t want to see you get hurt.”
You nod your head as she gives a kiss on the cheek before the two of you pulled away from the hug… Quickly, your gave your dad as hug as Joe hugs your mom before the two of you walk away from your parents to find the car in the parking lot.
There was silence between the two of you as neither of you knew what to say after the long night at the restaurant… There too much tension in the air surrounding the both of you and there was no chance that things can go back to how things usually are until the conversation happens, but while Joe was willing to have this conversation at anytime you still wanted to hang onto the hope that you could still push this conversation to happen at the last minute.
The silence continued all the way during the drive back to your apartment, not even the radio was on in the car… You wouldn’t even glance over at Joe who was just focusing on driving, you just stared out the window and watched the rain drops fall from the sky.
“Your parents are right.” Joe stated, looking over at you when the car reaches a red light. “We need to talk.”
“There’s nothing to talk about right now.” you respond.
Joe rolled his eyes in disbelief, “Are you being serious right now? You know damn well there is something we need to talk about.” he says
“I know there’s something we need to talk about…” you say. “But that doesn’t mean we’re going to talk about it right now.”
“Then when are we going to talk about it!” Joe asked as the tone of his voice was getting louder. “Are we going to wait to talk about it until it’s too late?”
“Maybe it’s already too late!” you yelled, finally turning your head to look at him. “You’re so ready to move on into the future… Like you said at the restaurant, Ohio is your home so you might as well leave everything you know and love in Louisiana here.”
“What you are saying?” Joe asked. “It’s not too late-”
“The light is green… Please drive so we can get home before the rain gets worse.” you say, interrupting him.
Instead of responding back to you and finishing what he was going to say, there’s a hurt expression of his face that broke your heart to see before he turned his attention back to the road and started to drive forward.
Joe didn’t allow his mind to overthink all the words that you had just said and what those words could have meant as he turns the volume up on the car radio to try and block out all the thoughts in his head.
The sweet sounds of Fleetwood Mac filled the void of silence in the car, Joe hummed along to the lyrics of The Chain as you continued to stare out the window… What could be viewed as a peaceful moment from strangers on the outside, was really just a moment of being blissfully unaware of the tensions heating up.
The rest of the car ride back to your apartment was silence apart from the low music from car radio, neither you to Joe dared to speak up to continue the conversation anytime the car stopped at a red light.
Once Joe parked the car right in front of the apartment building, you got out of the car not waiting for Joe to be a gentleman and open the passenger door… Quickly, you ran fast across the parking lot to get inside your apartment’s lobby before you could have the chance to get drenched of rain.
It caught Joe off-guard for a second that you didn’t wait for him to be a gentleman and open the car door on your side, but he was right behind you running to get inside the apartment lobby… No words was spoken as the two of you got into the elevator to go up to the second floor. It was a silence short ride to your apartment as tension filled the small space.
Once the two of you were in your apartment, Joe watched from the front entrance as you walked away from to go to the your bedroom… Suddenly, a feeling of anger arose inside of him and he couldn’t handle feeling the tension between the two of you any longer.
“So are we just not going to talk about it at all?” Joe asked, before you could enter the bedroom.
“Talk about what Joe?” you angerly asked, turning around to face him. “Do you want to talk about how you’re so ready to just leave Louisiana to go back to Ohio? Or do you want to talk about the NFL Draft? Or maybe it is a little too late for these conversations!”
“For weeks you never wanted to talk about anything to do with my future… and now all of a sudden you’re mad that we waited so long to have a conversation?” Joe yelled. “I tried to talk to you but you’ve shut down the conversation every single time.“
“You really are making this a bigger deal than it really is.” You explain, crossing your arms over your chest.
“No! I’m not making it a bigger deal than it is… because to me, this is a big deal!” Joe yelled. “The day of the NFL Draft will be the most important day of my life… you never wanted to talk about it or be involved in any conversations that I would have with people, but now you’re mad that we haven’t talk about our future yet?”
“That’s not why I’m mad…” you defensively say.
“Can you tell me the reason that you’re mad?” Joe asked. “I can’t read your mind to be able to understand why you’re mad all of a sudden.”
You rolled your eyes and sighed in frustration before responding to Joe’s question. “I don’t want to talk about it right now.”
“Why don’t you want to talk about it?” Joe asked.
“I’m not answering that question right now.” you say.
“Why?” Joe asked, getting more and more frustrated.
“Because it’s hard to talk about!” you yelled back at him. “You and everyone else are just so ready for the future to come and I don’t understand why?”
“I have been waiting for this moment for my entire life!”Joe snapped. “Am I just not supposed to be excited for my future because you don’t want to talk about it?”
“I’m not saying you can’t be excited about your future… But it just seems like you’re excited for a future that doesn’t involve me?!” you explain.
“And why would my future not involve you?” Joe asked, crossing his arms as he waits for your response.
You couldn’t give Joe an answer because the truth is that you didn’t know why Joe’s future wouldn’t involve you… How do you explain to the man that your own insecurities and anxiety are the reasons why the two of you are in this argument with each other right now.
“I’ll be honest with you… When I transferred to LSU, my main focus was just on football and receiving my masters degree. The past two college football seasons were my last chances at raising my college football credits for the NFL to see that I’m worthy of being in the league.” Joe explains in a soft tone as he walks closer to where you are standing. “But then I met you, and instead of changing my priorities for why I transferred to LSU, I just added being the best boyfriend that I could be to you onto the list.”
You look down to the ground as you try to blink away the tears that were forming in your eyes. As Joe stood in front of you, he studied your body language for a second before he continued to speak since you didn’t give him any sort of verbal response.
“If I have given you any reason to assume that I wouldn’t consider you to be apart of my future, then I failed at one of my priorities.” Joe says. You look up to him with a surprised expression on your face and shake your head in disagreement.
“No Joe… That’s far from the truth.” you trembled. “You didn’t fail at anything at all.”
“Then why would you think that I wouldn’t consider you to be apart of my future?” Joe asks again.
Once again you look down to the ground not being able to look Joe in the eyes as you couldn’t give him any reason why… Joe sighed and ran his fingers through his hair out of stress, he couldn’t understand why you couldn’t give him any sort of answer.
“You need to give me an answer before we continue this conversation.” Joe states. “Because the reason we’re not able to talk about the future is because you can’t give me an answer on why it’s hard to talk about.”
“You wouldn’t under-” you tried to explain, keeping your attention to the ground and shaking your head.
“Why wouldn’t I understand?” he asked interrupting you, raising his voice in frustration. “The only thing that I’m not understanding is why you’re mad at me for not having any conversation with you when I tried to talk to you about the future every chance that I got. You were the one to always shut down the conversations!”
“I didn’t want to talk about it then… and I don’t want to talk about it now!” you explain.
“Then when do you want to talk about it?” Joe asked.
Once again, you couldn’t give Joe an answer to his question because you didn’t know the answer to the question… You look up from the ground to give your full attention to Joe, who is standing right in front of you with his arms crossed over his chest.
For as long as you’ve known Joe, you’ve never seen him so angry and frustrated. You’ve seen him get mad after playing a rough game on the football field and upset if a football player from another team trash-talked about him at a press conference because he’s always been respectful to other football players… It broke your heart to know that the reason he is angers and frustrated right now is because of you.
“Do you want to talk about it the day before I leave to go back to Ohio?” Joe asked. “You want to talk about our future when we’re thousands of miles apart?”
“If you’re just so ready to leave to go back to Ohio… then why don’t you just leave right now?” you yell.
Suddenly there is a feeling of guilt in your chest and a visibly hurt expression on Joe’s face is formed. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out.
“Joe..”
“You’ve said enough.” Joe exclaimed. “Before I say something that I regret, I’m gonna leave and go stay at Ja’marr’s apartment for the night. We can’t continue this conversation anymore.”
Joe was already walking away from you and towards the front door as he spoke… You follow right behind him because you couldn’t let him leave or else you’ll break down into pieces on the floor.
“Wait Joe!” you yelled, with tears forming in your eyes. “Please let me explain!”
“Y/N.” Joe says, in the softest tone of voice that he has used since the two of you had arrived at the apartment. “I love you but it’s best that I go right now-”
“No Joe stop!” you say, reaching out to grab his arm to try and get him to stop. “We can talk about this now! Please don’t leave.”
Joe stopped in his steps right at the front door and sighed as he turned towards you. He sees the tears that are in your eyes and that have fallen down your cheeks and his heart breaks into pieces but as much as he wanted to wrap his arms around you and carry you to the bed room to give you the love and comfort that you need, he knew that he needed to leave because it was clear to him that the two of you aren’t in the right mindset to continue on the conversation.
“Y/N. I need to go.” Joe say, trying to pull his arm away from you to loosen your grip. “I’ll come back when both of us will be in a better mindset and we can have the conversation about our future.”
“Joe, please don’t leave!” you begged as your voice trembled. “I promise you that I’ll explain everything or we can pretend we didn’t have this conversation and go back to how things usually are.”
It hurt Joe’s heart to see the tears in your eyes and to hear the trembling in your voice but he knew that if there was any chance that there could be a future between the two of you… He needed to clear his mind before having this conversation with you again, because he knew things can’t go back to normal.
“Y/N. Please understand that things can’t go back to normal until we have this conversation.” Joe explain. “The conversation is about our future and if we can’t talk about that with both of us in a clear state of mind, then there’s a chance we won’t have a future together.”
Joe leaned forward and gave you a kiss on the forehead as a way to give you reassurance that everything will be okay… You closed your eyes to try and savor the moment as best as you could. When he pulled away and you opened your eyes, he gave you a soft smile and you could see tears forming in his eyes.
“I love you.” Joe says. “We’ll talk about this and I promise that everything will be okay between us.”
You nod your head and let his arm to let him walk away from you and leave your apartment. The second he walked out the front door, you broke down into tears and sat on the floor, crying your heart out in fear of taking the chance of losing a relationship someone you love and crying in frustration with your anxiety.
Joe would never let you know that heard your cries from outside your apartment right after he had closed your front door… It took all of his strength to not rush back into your apartment and to give you all the hugs and kisses that you would need to feel better.
-
It’s been one week since the argument with Joe and while you wish that things between the two of you were resolved, it just feels like things have gotten worser than you could’ve expected after Joe left.
You hadn’t texted or called Joe since he left your apartment, he’s tried to text and call you but you’ve ignored every message and voicemail that he sent… You didn’t even give him your work schedule for the week so he would know when you would be off-work.
Just hours after Joe left your apartment, you called your mom and sobbed to her on the phone. It broke your mom’s heart into pieces to hear her daughter cry in frustration of letting her anxiety win and not allowed you to open up to Joe about your insecurities.
Your mother gave you advice on how to reach out to Joe and have the conversation with him about your future without the conversation turning into an argument like it did that night… But instead of following your mother’s advice, you’ve just ignored all of the texts and calls from him. Which just made things even worse than they were between the two of you.
Over the past week you’ve barely slept in your own bed, eaten, or taken care of yourself because you’re mourning the lost of a relationship that hasn’t ended… Your only motivation right now is to go to LSU campus for your classes and to go to work at the restaurant.
“Tomorrow you need to talk to Joe. Things are only going to get better if you just talk to him about your fears of how you relationship will change when he leaves Louisiana.” your mother said when she had called you the night before to check on you since she hadn’t heard from you in a couple of days.
Once again you don’t follow your mother’s advice; as you are laying in bed, wrapped up in the sheets and comfortable as you watched re-run episodes of Family Feud on your TV… It was your first off-day from work in a couple of day, and instead of attempting to fix your relationship you just want to rot in bed by yourself.
You couldn’t help but think that the relationship is already over. The moment he left your apartment could have been the last time you ever see him in person… And maybe, that was the best decision for the two of you. Joe would be able to live his dream of playing for the NFL and you would continue your college classes and follow your dreams wherever it took you.
As you feel the exhaustion take over your body because you hadn’t slept properly in days… You heard the sound of front door being unlocked, but thinking that you were just making things up in your head due to how exhausted you are. You just decide to close your eyes and try to fall asleep in the comfort of your bed.
It was just a few minutes later when you heard your bedroom door open just slightly for someone to peek inside… but you made no attempt to open your eyes to see who opened the bedroom door or if it was just your mind making things up like it always does.
45 minutes later:
Your eyes fluttered open and the sweet smell of brownies filled around your apartment… You sat up in a panic as your mind was so confused, it was hard for you to tell if you were still in a dream or if you had put brownies in the oven before you came lay in your bed.
Just then, the bedroom door slowly open and a figure that you weren’t expecting to see was standing right there with a smile on his face… and the smell of brownies in your apartment finally made some sense.
“Oh hey! You’re finally awake!” Joe says.
“What are you doing here?” you asked.
“Your mom called me this morning…” Joe answers. “And she told me some things that I think we need to talk about… If that’s fine with you.”
You nod your head, “So you came to talk and make brownies in my kitchen?”
“You weren’t answering the door, so I used the emergency apartment key… And then I saw you were asleep in your room so instead of just waiting on the couch. I made the only box brownies that I know how to make without starting a fire.” Joe says.
Now things started to make sense in your head, you weren’t imagining someone in your apartment right before you had fallen asleep for a nap.
“I was thinking that we can eat brownies and talk.” Joe said. “Because I think we have waited a little too long for this conversation to happen.”
You didn’t respond, but you nod your head as you got out of your bed and follow into the kitchen where the sweet smell of brownies got stronger… Joe already had two plates of brownies on your kitchen counter, ready to be served and eaten by the two of you.
There was silence as the two of you are sitting on your couch with a plate in brownies in your laps… Despite both of you imagining this scenario in your head multiple times throughout the last week, neither of you knew what to say to start the conversation.
“Are you ready to talk now?” Joe asked, turning his body to face you. It takes you a few seconds to answer but once you look at him and nod your head, he gives you a soft smile before continuing to speak.
“So… the first thing that I want to say is that I’m sorry if I ever pushed you at anytime to have a conversation that you weren’t ready for.” Joe apologized.
“You don’t need to apologize.” you respond, looking down at your lap, feeling the knots twist in your stomach. “I should’ve been honest with you about everything, it’s just hard open up about these kind of things because most of the time I don’t understand it.”
“I understand that things can be hard but… I want you to know that I’m always going to be here for you.” Joe say, placing his hand on your thigh to give you comfort.
“I know that…”
“Do you really know that?” Joe asks, “I don’t want you to just say that you know what I’m saying, I want you to understand what I’m saying.”
When you look up at him, you see the serious look on his face and that he’s not joking around in any way.
“I understand Joe.” you answer. “I’m not lying to you.”
“Okay… I trust you that you understand.” Joe says. “Because this relationship can’t work out when we do long distance if you don’t understand that I’ll always be here for you no matter what.”
The knots in your stomach twist tighter, the thought of being in a long-distance relationship made you want to throw up the brownies you had just ate… The sick look that had appeared on your face doesn’t go unnoticed by Joe, for a few seconds he was concerned.
“That’s what we’re going to do…” you slowly say. “We’re really going to have to do long distance?!”
“It’s either we do long distance… or we break-up.” Joe says. “And as much as I know long distance will be hard to get used too… I would rather do that than to break-up, even if we could decide give our relationship a second chance after graduate.”
It took you a few seconds to get some of your thoughts together on what would be the best way to respond to what Joe had just said…
“I don’t want to break-up either… but you do realize that we’ll be in a long-distance relationship for a year.” you explain. “I don’t graduate until next year in May, do you really think we could do this?”
“I think we can do it.” Joe said. “It’s going to be hard, but we can get through it… a year is going to go by fast and then after you graduate, we can take the next step in our relationship.”
You dropped your head down to look at your lap and pulled the string from your socks to try to distract yourself from not overthinking… At first Joe thought the conversation was over and as he tried to move closer you on the couch, you lifted your head to be face to face as your eyes widen in panic from overthinking.
“What if it’s not worth it?” you asked and before Joe had a quick to ask what you meant, you continued on speaking in a panic. “What if it’s not worth long distance? We’re going to be apart for over a year and what if by the end of us doing long distance we release that our future will never be able to intertwine with each other. Then what, we just give up on a relationship that we could just give up on now?!”
Joe was taken back by surprised of your what you had just said, he wasn’t expecting that you would overthink the future and he thinks back to what the two of you had talked about at the beginning of the conversation.
“You’ll have a crazy schedule with football, I’m going to have a crazy schedule when I become a nurse… I don’t think that we’re going to see each other ever!” you rambled. “I’m not going to give up my dreams to become a football players’ housewife after spending many years studying my live away!”
The repeated words that your mother said at the restaurant stung Joe more than he’ll like to admit… Since the day he met you, he’s been very supportive of your dreams of becoming a nurse even helping you study for tests and letting you help treat his scars and bruises after football games.
“Take a deep breathe…” Joe whispers, moving closer and placing his hand on your back as he rubs his thumb in slow circles. “Remember what I talked about… I’m here for you, talk to me. Don’t overthink.”
When you look up at Joe is when you realize how much closer he is to you than before… It took a few deep breathes for your heart to stop feeling like it’s going to pound of your chest and the knots in your stomach started to untwist.
“First of all, I would never force you to give up your dreams and your career just to become a housewife…” Joe states. “I support your dreams just like you support my dreams. We will figure out everything when we get there, for right now let’s focus on us now.”
“But I can’t focus on us now-”
“Yes you can.” Joe says, interrupting you. “Let’s just focus on each other for now, the future will be okay.”
“The reason I was so scared to have this conversation with you was because of the future… I tried for so long to imagine a future where we wouldn’t have the be separated for so long.” you confess with tears in your eyes. “I was scared that when you leave Louisiana that you’ll never want anything to do with anything from here. I don’t want to be replaced by another woman that you could meet and fall in love with in Ohio.”
“Princess no… Please don’t think that way.” Joe say, pulling you closer to him so that you could wrap your arms around his waist and press your head into his chest as the tears started to fall down your cheeks.
“I can’t… I can’t help it.” you cry. “I can’t help to overthink everything. I was scared to have this conversation with you about our future because I thought that you wouldn’t want me apart of it.”
As Joe continued to rub circles on your back with his thumb, he placed his hand on the back of your head as your cried into his chest… It broke his heart that he never realized any of the signs you could’ve gave him for why you never wanted to have this conversation.
“Please just trust me and trust us.” Joe whispers then pressing a kiss to the top of your head, “I promise that everything is going to be figured out, we just have to talk about all of these things one day at a time.”
You didn’t verbally respond, but you nodded your head and got even closer to Joe… The cried and hiccups started to slow down as you were calming down. You had got very overwhelmed of an anxious feeling too fast for your mind to handle which causes you to get emotional very fast.
As the two of you sat in silence, there was a realization that it is going to be hard for you to start opening up about your anxiety to Joe, but like he told you before… All you had to do was trust him and you understood.
-
The sun was setting over the wonderful city of Baton Rouge and the beautiful colors of red, orange, yellow, and pink spread across the sky… It was a beautiful sight to see from the rooftop of your apartment.
Your head was laying on his chest, as his arm was wrapped around your shoulder pulling your body as close as he could to him… His head rested on your head and you tried not to overthink about how the two of you wouldn’t get to experience these kind of moments much longer before Joe leaves Louisiana.
“When we are apart… Just know that you can always look at the sun setting and know that I’m watching the same sun set.” Joe whispers, giving you a kiss on the forehead and the giggles the he hears from you makes his heart swell up with glee.
“You’re so cheesy!” you say, lifting your head off his cheek to look at him with a smile on your face. “What rom-com movies have you been watching on Netflix?”
“Only the rom-coms movies that you force me to watch!” Joe says. “I don’t think I have ever watched any rom-com movies before we started dating.”
“Yeah I could definitely tell from a mile away.” you jokingly say. “At least now your taste in movies has grown so much since we’ve watched a majority of the best rom-coms that have ever been released!”
Joe shook his head and laughed, “I wouldn’t say my taste in movies has grown just because of rom-coms.”
You gasped and Joe laughs at your surprised reaction. “Just because you said that… we’re watching a new rom-com movie tonight!” you exclaimed.
Joe groaned with a smile on his face as he pulled you back to lay your head on his chest… There was a moment of peaceful silence as you just enjoyed your time together because it was a known fact that there wouldn’t be too many more of these kind of moments to experience with each other for a long time.
While thinking too far into the future still formed knots in your stomach and made you feel sick, all you had to do was take a few deep breathes and just remembered the words that Joe had promised to you.
You don’tknow what the future will hold, you didn’t want to think about how things will change for better or worse for your relationship… But all that you knew right now is that your future with Joe will be okay.
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Author’s Note:
it’s been two weeks since i’ve published any sort of fanfiction, i didn’t mean to make any of my readers wait so long to read something new. it just took me some time to find inspiration to write…
thank you all for the love and support! 🤍
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medusapelagia · 1 month
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23 Meet me at Skull Rock
written for @steddieangstyaugust (prompt: Skull Rock) and @augustwritingchallenge (Prompt:Musician ), @aug-kissed (prompt: Using Tongue) Rating: Mature Relationship: Steve/Eddie TW: no one Words: 1403
(Did Tumblr eat my fic... AGAIN?! Yes! It did! But now I'm smarter and I have copies! Lol XD)
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The car is parked down the road, hidden behind a thick bush and a big tree, the same place Steve used every time he hung out at Skull Rock. Nobody could see it from the street and that gave him all the privacy he needed.
Steve has been to Skull Rock so many times by now, but every time was different from the time before.
There was a time when he was still King Steve and he used to come here with the girl of the week. There was a time when he was just Steve, and he drove Nancy here just to look at the stars and intertwine their fingers. There was a time when he was a warrior, ready to fight, and he came to save a friend.
But this time...
This time is different from all the other times.
This time is a goodbye.
Eddie hasn’t really told him, but when he asked him to meet at Skull Rock Steve immediately got it. The road is close enough to the highway. They can share a joint, drink a beer or two, and then Eddie will drive his car far away from Hawkins. From the place that was never home to him. And Steve will remain. Because his roots are deep and strong and he can’t move. Not when the boys are still there. Not when Robin has promised to take a year off to help him figure out what he wants to do with his life. Not when his parents finally came back to take care of him even if he doesn’t need it anymore.
“My liege! Come! Sit down! I already started a fire and brought some s’mores.”
Steve sits on the ratty blanket Eddie has laid down on the ground to protect his royal ass from the bumpy rocks, grabbing a marshmallow and stabbing it with a stick, roasting it on the flame.
Crackers and chocolate are waiting for him at Eddie’s side when he puts the hot candy out of the fire.
“So, you’re going to try?” Steve asks, squishing the marshmallow between the crackers and the chocolate.
“I have nothing to lose,” Eddie mumbles, his mouth full of crackers and some chocolate dripping down his fingers.
“Musician. That’s a cool career.”
“That’s the dream: playing my songs in an arena full of people who sing along with me. And there are other benefits. Like groupies, free stuff, and money. So much money.” Eddie adds in a dreamy tone.
“Yeah. It sounds, nice.”
“I know I’m dreaming big, but you should try it sometime. It really changes your day.  And even if I won’t make it, I will be far from this stupid town anyway, so that’s a plus. In a big town like Los Angeles, I could get lost in no time. No more angry parents threatening me or Wayne, no more slashed tires. No more spray paint on the trailer. Yeah. It sounds like Paradise.”
“The boys?”
“Jeff is coming with me, he is going to attend college in California anyway, And next year Gareth and Frank will graduate too so we’ll be reunited. And maybe we’ll finally make it big. If not, there are so many bars where we could play. I'm not worried at all.”
Steve nods quietly while inside him his feelings are bubbling like a hot soup. He reaches out to grab another marshmallow, and his hand bumps into Eddie’s. The metal head smiles brightly, “Didn’t know you had a sweet tooth,” he says, offering him the bag to grab another candy, but that seems to be Steve’s breaking point. He drops the bag of candies, not caring about ants or other insects, and pushes Eddie with his shoulders to the ground.
“Tell me to stop,” he whispers on Eddie’s lips, “tell me you don’t want this and I’ll leave.”
Eddie’s eyes have always been big, but right now they are huge pools of chocolate brown staring at him in astonishment.
He doesn’t ask Steve to stop, he doesn’t push him away or scream against him, he grabs the back of Steve’s head with one hand and drags him toward himself. Eddie tastes like chocolate and candies with a hint of cheap beer, that’s what Steve will remember about his first kiss with a man. His hands are strong and his long slim fingers are curling on Steve’s back, urging him closer, and closer. They’re chest to chest, Steve practically crushing Eddie with his body, and then Steve’s tongue pushes a little bit harder and Eddie grants him permission to kiss him deeply. Their tongue meets halfway, as if they couldn’t wait to finally touch each other. Steve’s tongue twirls and moves faster into Eddie’s mouth and Eddie follows his lead, obediently. It’s not so different from kissing a girl, the only difference is Eddie’s chapped lips and a hint of beard growth brushing against Steve’s chin, but Steve doesn’t startle at the realization that he’s kissing a man. He just makes himself softer and kinder, not wanting to leave Eddie with a bad memory of their first kiss.
Steve doesn’t know how long they keep kissing, he hasn’t made out for so long in months and he’s somehow surprised when he finds Eddie straddling him, their hard dicks brushing one against the other behind their jeans.
But then Eddie retreats, crawling backward on the blanket.
“What was that?” he asks, cleaning his mouth with the back of his hand, and Steve knows he fucked up, he really did.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
“Is that so? I don’t know what I was thinking?! You fucking kissed me, man!” Eddie yells, “You… you stole it from me!”
“I didn’t steal anything.” Steve replies tiredly, “I kissed you, I made a big mistake, and I’m sorry. Shouldn’t have done that.”
“No, you should have not!” Eddie insists, and now he’s standing, touching with his fingertips his plum lips, “Why did you do that?”
“I don’t know Eds. I wanted to, okay? You’re leaving anyway, why does it matter? It’s not like you have never been kissed before!” Steve sighs, brushing a hand through his hair, and then the realization hits him. “It wasn’t… it wasn’t your first kiss, right? You… you have all those dirty magazines you bought in Indy, you always talk about that stupid hanky code. You… you have never been kissed before.” Steve whispers, pinching his nose, “Listen, man, I’m sorry, ok? I didn’t mean it.”
“You didn’t mean it? Thank you, Steve! That makes things so much better!” Eddie complains, his arms crossed in front of him, “Hey Eddie, I stole your first kiss because I was drunk and sad. I don’t even like boys but you were here so I just did it. Sorry. But we’re fine right?” Eddie yells, mocking Steve’s voice.
“That’s not… It’s not like that, ok? It wasn’t…”
“It wasn’t what? An experiment? A test?”
“I do like you, moron!” Steve finally yells and his voice reverberates in the quiet of the woods, then he lowers his tone, “I do like you. I have liked you for quite a bit but I never gather the courage to say anything. And now you’re leaving and I won’t see you again, and maybe you’re right, I’m sad and drunk. But I did mean it, Eddie. It wasn’t an experiment. I swear.” Steve almost whispers, avoiding staring at Eddie in the eyes. 
The metalhead is still standing in front of the fire, his silhouette dark and ominous.
“You did? You really meant it?” Eddie asks, and this time it looks like his crossed arms are pulling him together instead of shielding him.
“I did. I do.”
Very slowly, Eddie sits back on the blanket, “I’m going to leave anyway,” Eddie reminds him.
“I know. It’s the right thing to do.” Steve agrees.
“But maybe… you and Buckley could think about joining me next year. Or the year after.”
Steve reaches out with one hand, caressing Eddie’s arm.
“I’d love to.”
“So… maybe we can try again? Practice makes perfect, you know?”
Steve chuckles, “Yes. Yes, we can. Come here, babe.”
They kiss until the sun rises and when they get back to their cars Eddie’s last promise is that he’ll call him as soon as he’ll find a place to stay. And if Steve is already waiting for Eddie's call, sitting next to the phone, is none‘s business.
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loves0phelia · 4 months
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Hi! Can I request a Zach Maclaren one shot? Him and reader are college friends. Zach invited them to go skiing with his family. But due to sudden invitation there's only one bed. Fluff (no smut pls)
One Bed
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Summery: The request
Words: 1.5k
Warnings: grammar mistakes
A/N: Thank you xxx feel free to request whenever you want!
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The chime of the bell above the door signals the entrance of a customer entering the coffee shop you worked at. Typically, your days were intense and you stayed alert to any new customer not to lose track but today it's slow and tranquil, so you don't feel the need to run immediately to the customer.
You're slowly cleaning the table to remove any crumbs left and the dirty cups of coffee, you thought you would leave the person to think about the order for a second but a pair of hands gripped your waist.  “Boo!” A loud scream escaped your attacker's mouth in an attempt to startle you. Your heart leaped, and your body instinctively flinched.  You quickly pushed away and jumped, what felt like feet away. "Zachary MacLaren, what the hell is wrong with you!" Your angry voice echoed off the walls of the shop as you yelled his full name. “Zachary?” He holds his stomach while bending over, laughing uncontrollably. “I hate you, you know that?” A small smile tugged at the corner of your lips despite you desperately trying to show your anger. “Hate me? I think you meant love” He smirked and playfully draped his arm around your shoulder. You giggled before pushing away from his embrace. “What do you want to order, Zach?” You made your way around the counter where the register was. “Nothing, I just wanted to make sure you were still coming to the ski trip” Gently, he placed his elbow on the counter and leaned down to press his chin against his hand while smiling up at you. “Of course, I'm coming, I'm not gonna miss the opportunity to see you fall on your ass” After your sentence Zach fake gasped. “I'll let you know that I'm an impeccable snowboarder. If someone falls it's gonna be you.” He starts to walk backward to the door of your workplace. “We’ll see about that Zach” “I'll come pick you up at your dorm room Friday after class alright?” You nodded before saying your goodbyes. “Wipe that smile off your face, girl,” Your boss' voice cut through the air, and you felt the heat rise to your cheeks. You hadn't realized the effect Zach had on you. You couldn't wait to spend the week with him and his family. … Friday, during class you weren't paying attention. All you could think about was your excitement for the upcoming trip a few hours later. When Zach came knocking on your dorm door as he had promised two days prior, you were already prepared. Your suitcase was filled with your essentials and you were ready to go.  You both made your way to his house where the rest of his family was. He just needed to come get you and you would all be on your paths to the beautiful house next to the ski mountains. He opened the door and you were met with chaos. His mom and dad were running around with last-minute tasks and his sister was looking for snacks in the pantry for the road. There was also a boy around Avery's age sitting on the kitchen island with a BattleToad backpack. “Hey Malix, what are you doing here?” Zach asked him. “He's coming with us! isn't that awesome? Mom said I could bring a friend this year since you always bring Y/N” His younger sister answered for the boy and your cheeks flushed at her innocent comment about you. You and Zach were indeed glued to the hip, always following each other wherever you went “Since Avery is too young to sleep with a boy,” His mom interjected and his sister made a gagging sound, “I figured you and Y/n could share the second master bedroom while the kids take the separate rooms” The air in your lungs left your body as if you were hit by a train. You and Zach sharing a room? “Oh yeah that's fine” He answered casually with not one hint of hesitation in his voice. Throughout the entire ride to the chalet, you were pressed against him. His legs, much longer than yours, needed more space which made the both of you closer than ever.  When you finally arrived at your destination you felt the air enter your lungs as if you hadn't taken a single breath since your departure. You along with the rest of his family entered the house, It was still just as pretty as the preceding years. It was massive and spacious. But also rustic with a touch of modern. You would kill to own a place like this one in the future "You coming?" Zach was already halfway up the circular stairs, his and your suitcase in hand. You nodded hastily and rushed to catch up with him.
He pushed open the two wooden doors revealing the bedroom you would both sleep in tonight and the rest of the week.
The room was spectacular, the queen-sized bed was filled with cozy pillows and soft blankets, and there was a fireplace in front of it as well as a TV, The big windows allowed the sun to shine brightly and make the room warmer. 
“Are you sure this isn't your parent's room?” you asked with your voice a little bit trembly, you felt nervous, happy, shy?
“Oh, I'm sure” His lips turned into a big grin and he unexpectedly dropped your bags and ran into the bed. He jumped and landed with a loud “Oof” before snuggling inside the blankets.
“This is so much better than the crappy single beds!” he laughed. “Come on!” He motioned you to copy his previous actions and you couldn't help yourself. You ran and landed beside him, making you both giggle.
“Zach let's go skiing!” Avery barged into the room and yelled excitedly.
“Now? We just got here” he sat up prompting himself on his elbows.
“Pleasee I really want to show the mountains to Malix” She begged her brother.
“Alright” he agreed and she screamed in victory rushing downstairs to announce the news to her friend.
“Do you want to come with us?” He asks as he stands up from the criminally comfy bed.
"Of course," you nodded. In a swift motion, he grabbed your hand, pulling you up from the bed. You stumbled, landing face to face, chest to chest with him. For a moment, you both locked eyes before quickly jumping apart.
"Sorry," he chuckled nervously. All you could do was tuck a strand of hair behind your ear and dismiss him with a shy smile.
After a long evening snowboarding, you all returned home to find a warm meal prepared by his parents. The dinner was lively, filled with discussion and laughter.
And later that night, you cozied up in bed, content and warm.
“Hey, I made us some hot cocoa” You accepted the mug he handed you with a “thank you”, and took a sip. The chocolate taste was heavenly on your tongue.
You and Zach chose a movie on Netflix and watched it until you were both tired. You turned off the lights, extinguished the fire, and lay down together. You were facing his back and as if he read your mind he turned to face you. Even in the dark, you could see him looking at you.
“I'm sorry about earlier, I didn't want to make you uncomfortable.” He said calmly which made you shake your head disapprovingly.
“You didn't make me uncomfortable, Zach just nervous…”
“I'm so sorry I didn't mean to, really I just wanted to help you get up. I should have been more soft instead of pulling you like that, It was dumb of me-” he rambled and you cut him off.
“Not nervous in a bad way” you sighed desperately.
“No?” he asked confused.
"I… I like you, and I like being close to you, but it makes me a little nervous," you admitted, your voice trembling. When you were met with silence embarrassment flooded over you like a wave. Quickly, you hid beneath the blankets, wishing you could disappear from the face of the earth.
“Hey” His hands searched for your face in the blankets but failed.”Come back” 
You slowly pulled the blanket away from your face, meeting his eyes once again. His warm hand gently rested on your cheek, offering a comforting touch.
“I thought you would never say it” Confusion filled you.
"Wait, what?" you asked, expecting an answer. Instead, his response was his lips pressing gently against yours.
As confused as you were, you kissed him back, which only made him press deeper. His hand slid to the back of your neck, taking your breath away.
His soft lips detached from yours and you took a small breath.
"I knew you liked me," he said, a cocky yet happy smile gracing his lips.
“What-!” His lips once again connected with yours to shush you.
“I like you too though” His smile grew against your lips and your heart grew in size. Turns out sharing a bed was the best thing that could happen to you and Zach.
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latinare · 2 months
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This is a really vague question maybe you have some insight on.
I'm monolingual; I very casually study Spanish, ie duolingo, very slowly reading Harry Potter in translation, bantering with my mexican coworkers, etc, but I'm barely past where I was ten years ago in college. My grandparents native language was Sicilian, and so that's really been the dream to someday learn Italian. But for where I live, Spanish is a very practical language, and Italian really isn't. I'm scared to stop the small amount of Spanish study that I currently do and lose it, but at the same time it's not my ultimate goal. There are really only so many hours in the day.
How much Spanish do I need to learn before I can put it to bed and start clawing my way through Italian? Can you think of any benchmark I could use? I realize it's not an either/or situation, but I was hoping you might have some advice as someone whose language journey seems to be much more advanced that my own.
Thanks for your time and any thoughts you might have!
This is a good question and I think one all language-learners struggle with. I don't know that there's one good answer, but I have a few thoughts that may or may not be helpful.
When you study something, even if you have to set it aside at some point, you don't lose it completely. The next time you pick it up, it's easier and quicker to get back to where you were. It's okay to study cyclically.
You can study things in the cracks of your day. I have Latin vocab pinned above the sink to learn when I'm washing dishes, and I translate posts for this blog while I'm nursing my baby. I read Geoffrey of Monmouth when I have ten free minutes and feel like it. It doesn't look like enough time to study a language, but it adds up.
Studying a second language in the same family can be fascinating because they share cognates (cousin words) and grammar elements. Digging into this can deepen your understanding of both. (Sicilian and Spanish are both from the Romance branch of the Indo-European language family.)
Finding a way to work a little Spanish into your week may help you retain what you've already learned. (Maybe leave Harry Potter in your backpack to read when you're in a queue or waiting room?)
One of my personal language-learning benchmarks is being able to understand spoken humour, so I'd contest that bantering with coworkers in Spanish makes you more than monolingual. :)
Ugh, I feel like I'm not saying much that's concrete. I really hope you get to study Sicilian though! Best of luck with both, and any future linguistic endeavours too!
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mymindcreatedthis · 3 months
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Trash Talk 18+
Beth England x Reader
Word count: 2,203
Warning: Smut, Teasing, daddy kink, Unprotected sex, Creampies, blowjob, Throatpie, Anal, Rough sex, squirting, hair pulling, clit teasing, Positions: Doggy, Missionary.
*Y/n's pov*
I was sweating bullets as I wait for a certain phone call. The coach from England came to one of my college games and told her that I had talent and wanted to invite me to the next camp.
After 5 minutes of waiting my phone rings. I click accept and hold my phone up to my ear.
"Hello?" I ask.
"Hello, may I speak to Y/n please." They ask.
"This is her." I say.
"Hi Y/n this is Sarina the coach from England I was calling you to inform you that you've been selected to join us for camp in 2 weeks. So I have details for camp for you, you and Beth England will be roommates this camp. Beth will pick you up at the airport when you land, Beth and the girls are super excited to meet you." Sarina says.
"I can't wait to meet them either and start this new journey." I say.
"That's all the details I have for you right now. I'll inform you on the rest once you get to camp." Sarina says.
"Thank you coach. See you in 2 weeks." I say.
"See you in two weeks." Sarina says.
She hangs up, I set my phone off to the side and start packing and getting ready for camp so I don't have to worry about packing the night before.
I finish packing, my phone pings letting me know I have a new text message. I grab my phone and see that I have a text message from Beth England.
Beth: Hey Y/n! How everything is going good. Just wanted to reach out and let you know that you and me will be roommates and I'll be picking you up from the airport. Me and the girls can't wait to meet you."
Me: Hey Beth! Thank you for the info, I can't wait to meet you and the girls either and can't wait to be your roommate this camp.
Beth: I'm excited to be your roommate too.
I continue texting back and forth with Beth the rest of the day.
*Next week, Day of camp*
My alarm goes off at 3 am. I turn it off, I get up and start to get ready. I brush my teeth and hair and make sure I have everything packed and ready to go.
I grab my things, I call an Uber and head to the airport. I pay the driver, I grab my things and go into the airport.
I hand the lady my ticket and board the plane. We finish boarding and take off, after a four hour flight the plane lands. I grab my bags and get off the plane.
I get my suit case from baggage claim and go outside to find Beth. Beth was already outside waiting for me. I smile and walk over to her.
"It's nice to finally meet you." Beth says.
"You too." I say and hug her.
Beth helps me load my bags into the trunk. We get in the rental car and start driving to the hotel. we get to the hotel, Beth parks the car and helps me carry my things up to the room.
Beth unlocks the door and opens it. We both go in, Beth closes the door behind us and locks it. I take off my shoes and set my bags off to the side. I plop down onto the bed and sigh dramatically.
Beth giggles. "So dramatic."
"Mhm shut up." I say laughing.
Beth turns on the tv and her Xbox and turns on call of duty modern warfare.
I sigh and look over at her. "Really?"
"Yes really? You play?" I ask.
I nod. "Yeah I play, how good are you?" I ask teasing her.
Beth smirks and looks over at me. "I'm a legend."
I giggle. "Pfft yeah okay."
"Yup, you prepared to loose?" Beth asks.
I smirk, I sit up and take one of the controllers from her. "You're on Beth. Let's see what you got."
I win our first game, We decide to do best of 4. Beth ends up losing the first game, Beth starts to get angry at the game. I laugh at her frustration.
"What's wrong?" I ask teasing her.
"I want a redo you fucking cheated." Beth accuses.
"What? How did I cheat?" I ask.
"You were screen peaking." Beth says.
"No I wasn't, I won fair and square." I say.
Beth gets the second game loaded up and we start the game. Beth pauses the game for a second and looks over at me.
"Let's make a bet." Beth suggests.
I smile. "I'm listening."
My massive dick springs out and fully at attention Beth gasps and looks at my dick. I take off her clothes leaving her completely naked.
I Lean in kissing her. Beth kisses back, it turns into a make out session. I lay Beth on the bed, Beth wraps her legs around me as I continue to make out with her.
My dick pokes her inner thigh as we make out. Beth moans in the kiss, she breaks away and rests her head against mine.
"Please. Please Y/n I need your dick inside me." Beth cutely begs.
"Are you sure? I don't have a condom on me." I say making sure she wants this.
"Yes I'm sure, just cum in me I'm on a pill. Make me your personal cum dumpster." Beth says.
I nod, I rub my dick through Beth’s soaking wet folds. Beth moans in pleasure as I do this, once my dick is wet enough I slowly slide my dick inside her. Beth moans and looks deep into my eyes.
I moan as her walls immediately around my dick. "Shit baby, you're really tight." I moan.
"Stretch me out and fill me with your massive load." Beth moans.
Fuck that may have been the hottest thing I've heard. I slowly thrust in and out of her. Beth wraps her legs around my waist and pulls me closer to her.
"F-Faster." Beth moans.
I put my arms on the sides of her and pound her pussy faster and faster. Beth moans in pleasure, her eyes roll to the back of her head as I continue to fuck the daylights out of her.
"Fuck....Fuck....Fuck." Beth squeaks out with each thrust.
I continue to pound her g spot. I rub her clit with my thumb Beth screams in pleasure as I do this.
"I'm gonna squirt." Beth screams.
Beth squirts all over my dick, hand and fingers. I pound into her pussy faster than before, my balls slap against her skin as our moans fill the room.
"I'm close." I moan.
"Me too. Don't you dare stop, pump me full of your fucking cum." Beth cries out in pleasure.
I go faster and harder, I moan as I feel that all to familiar feeling in my balls.
"Here it comes baby, get ready for my load." I moan.
Creampie #1:
I can't take it anymore, I bust my load deep inside her. Beth Cums all over my dick, we both moan as I shoot ropes of thick sticky cum deep inside her and paint her walls white.
I help Beth ride out her high, I slowly pull out of her. Beth moans and holds her legs up as thick cum oozes out of her and onto the bed.
I move Beth to the middle of the bed and put her in doggy position. I rub my dick through her cum filled folds and slowly slide my dick back deep inside her cum filled pussy.
"So tight and warm." I moan.
"You feel so good inside me stretching me out. Drain your balls in me." Beth moans.
I grab her hair with one hand d, I place my hands on her hip and slowly thrust in and out of her as I pull her hair.
I moan, my balls slap against her skin as our moans fill the room as I go a bit faster. "Mm fuck." I moan.
Beth moans loudly in pleasure and grips the sheets as I pound her pussy from behind faster and faster.
"Fuck yes! Just like that." Beth screams in pleasure.
I moan, I go at an angle and hit her g spot. I pull Beth's hair and tilt her head back. I smash my lips against hers and kiss her deeply. Beth moans in the kiss as I continue to fuck her brains out.
I moan as I feel myself getting closer. "Shit I'm already close to cumming again." I moan.
"Me too, cum in me." Beth moans.
I smirk and continue to pound Beth’s g spot. Beth screams in pleasure and squirts all over my dick and the bed. I moan in pleasure as I feel my balls tighten.
"I'm cumming!" I moan.
Creampie #2:
I can't take it anymore, I bust my load deep inside her. Beth cums all over my dick. We both moan as I shoot ropes of thick sticky cum deep inside her and paint her walls white.
I help Beth ride out her high. Once we both come down from our highs, I slowly pull out of her. Thick cum pours out of her pussy and glazed her folds and drips down her thighs and onto the bed and bed sheets.
Beth moans as my cum oozes out of her. "Mmm fuck my ass."
Fuck I didn't know Beth was into anal. God she has a fat ass, I smirk and kiss her ass. I squeeze it a bit, Beth moans as I do this.
"Mmm you want me to fuck your ass slut?" I ask, I tease as I squeeze her ass a bit.
"Yes daddy. Please fuck my ass and cum inside me." Beth moans cutely and begs.
I scoop up some of my cum and rub it on her asshole using it as lube. I rip my tip through her folds and slowly slide my dick inside her tight asshole, I moan as her walls immediately clench around my dick.
"Oooh fuck." I moan in pleasure. "Your ass is even tighter baby. I could cum just from being inside you."
"Good, pump my ass full of your cum." Beth begs.
I smirk, I slowly thrust in and out of her ass. Beth moans as I start to thrust in and out of her slowly.
"F-Faster." Beth moans.
I pick up the pace and go faster, my balls slap against her skin as our moans fill the room.
"Fuck....Fuck.....Fuck." Beth squeaks out with each thrust.
I moan and continue to fuck her ass from behind. Beth moans loudly in pleasure.
"Fuck daddy you have amazing dick game." Beth moans.
I smirk. "Yup and it's all yours the rest of camp just as you are mine of the rest of camp."
"Yes please daddy. Please fuck me the rest of camp." Beth moans.
I pound her ass harder and faster. I moan as I feel myself getting closer to cumming. Fuck her ass felt so good, I don't think I can last much longer. I was gonna bust my load in her ass at any second.
"Beth baby, I'm close." I moan in pleasure.
Creampie #3:
I can't take it anymore, I bust my load deep inside her ass. Beth moans and cums all over my dick. She moans as I fill her up with my load.
"Mmm fuck." Beth moans.
I moan as I shoot ropes of thick sticky cum deep in her ass and paint her walls white.
Beth switches positions and makes me lay on the bed. She lays between my legs and takes my dick in her mouth. I moan as she slowly bobs her head, my tip hitting the back of her throat.
"F-Fuck Beth just like that." I moan.
Beth hums and bobs her head faster and plays with my balls. I moan and hold her hair up as she continues to give me head and sucks the soul out of my dick.
"Shit baby; you really know how to suck dick." I moan.
I moan in pleasure and throw my head back and close my eyes enjoying the best blowjob I've had. I moan as I feel myself getting close.
"S-Shit, Beth baby I'm close." I moan.
Beth Hums against my dick and continues to suck the soul out of my dick. I moan and grip the sheets as Beth continues to suck the soul out of dick.
"I'm gonn-" I try to warn her but I’m unable to warn her in time.
Throat pie:
I'm unable to warn her in time, I bust my load in her mouth. Beth chokes and gags a bit as I cum in her mouth.
Beth swallows my load and licks up the rest of my cum.
"Fuck that was the best blow job I've gotten so far" I moan.
Beth giggles and kisses me. I moan as I taste myself on her lips. Fuck my cum tastes amazing, Beth Drags me to the bathroom.
"Come on let's shower, you might get Lucky and get another round in." Beth smirks at me.
"Fuck I'm looking forward to the rest of camp." I mutter.
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cafelattaes · 9 months
Text
death by a thousand cuts | njm
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summary : in which you find yourself watching as jaemin gradually becomes out of reach; forcing you to confront the painful reality that your story is heading towards an inevitable end, even if you’re not ready to admit it.
pairing : jaemin x fem!reader
genre : college au, angst
word count : 2.3k
playlist : the last time, you’re losing me, sad beautiful tragic
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in your dimly lit room, the blue light from your phone screen cast a cold glow on your face. your eyes kept going back to the last message you got from jaemin. you'd been staring at the same words for what felt like an eternity, as if they were mocking you. each repetition intensifying the sense of heartache and resignation you felt.
'i’ll be right back'
you let out a long, heavy sigh that carried all your disappointment and frustration. a whole week had passed in the blink of an eye, and his silence felt louder than ever. you were stuck in a cycle of waiting, hoping things would change with each passing moment.
jaemin’s words had become nothing more than empty promises. it wasn't the first time this had happened, but the disappointment still stung just as much. you glanced at the screen again, feeling a mix of sadness, anger, and tiredness. you were exhausted from always being the only one trying, always begging for a little effort and attention. it was wearing you down.
with a heavy heart, you set your phone down. you faced the hard truth that you needed to let go of the relationship. it wasn't making you happy anymore, and it was time to accept that.
what started as small hurts - like paper cuts on your heart - had already been turned into gashes. all the little things that bothered you, the ones he kept dismissing thinking they weren't important enough, had built up over time. now, they were boiling over, pushing you towards the end of something you once cared about.
you could feel yourself slowly falling apart, bit by bit. the relationship that once brought you joy was now the very thing causing your pain. as you sat there in the darkness, you realized it was time to put yourself first and let go of what was no longer good for you.
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FIVE MONTHS AGO
'hey jaem, are you doing something right now? i miss you :('
‘i’m sorry, baby. i'm not done with our cases and research yet. we’re also studying for upcoming exams so i can't go’
‘oh, okay. no worries! make sure to get enough rest when you’re home.’
‘you too, love’
a familiar ache settled in your chest. you understood the difficult nature of dating a medical student, but it didn't make the loneliness any easier. this was the longest you and jaemin had gone without breaking up, and you were determined to make it work.
fighting the urge to let past grievances resurface, you swallowed your disappointment. voicing out your feelings would only add to jaemin's stress, and that was the last thing you wanted. you didn't want to burden him with your feelings or ignite conflicts during a time where his focus needed to be on his studies.
you busied yourself by scrolling through your phone and randomly navigating your friends' instagram stories. a post from jeno caught your eye - a group picture with jaemin. but your stomach twisted as you saw minjeong, smiling next to your boyfriend.
she was jaemin's childhood friend. the girl who had feelings for him even before you came into the picture. your mind raced with unwelcome thoughts. what if her presence stirred up old feelings? what if it made things more complicated?
you tossed your phone aside, desperate to shake off the sinking feeling. you didn't want to be jealous of her, but it was hard not to be. her confession to jaemin before you got together still haunted you. despite his reassurances and clear boundaries, a nagging doubt remained.
she was a constant in jaemin's life being one of his closest friends. you had to accept that, even if it bothered you. there was nothing you could do to change their history or their friendship. as you lay there, you tried to push away thoughts of jaemin and minjeong together.
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after a long day of immersing yourself in your studies, you felt your phone buzz with a message from jaemin.
‘hey! are you free today? let’s go on a date :) i miss you a lot.’
‘sorry, im too tired to go out these days. i just want to rest after spending so much time studying’
‘oh no baby :( it’s fine. do you want anything? we can just stay and relax at your place instead. but only if you want to’
‘okay’
an hour later, your doorbell rang. jaemin stood there, a warm smile on his face and your favorite snacks in his hands. as you took them from him, he made himself at home. while you were preparing the food, jaemin approached from behind, wrapping his arms around you and planting a soft kiss on your head. he rested his chin on your shoulder, his familiar scent enveloping you.
"we don't see each other a lot these days. i missed you so much," he murmured.
your heart clenched, a sudden wave of longing and sadness washing over you. you missed him too, more than you cared to admit. since getting back together, you'd been bottling up your thoughts, afraid of triggering another breakup. the past few months had been a struggle, leaving you feeling fragile, as if the slightest nudge might shatter your composure.
“i missed you too,” you whispered, your voice barely audible.
jaemin wasn't oblivious. after a few years of being together, he could sense when something was off. he noticed your growing distance and your brief and detached responses to his messages. the disconnect was palpable, yet, he too was hesitant to address it. he chose to ignore the underlying issues, preferring to maintain a facade of normalcy rather than risk a conversation that could lead to losing you again.
the thought of another breakup being the final one sent a sharp pain through his chest. he tightened his embrace ever so slightly, as if trying to hold onto this moment, onto you, for as long as he could.
as you stood there in his arms, a heavy silence hung between you. both of you were acutely aware of the unspoken words and suppressed emotions, yet neither dared to break the fragile peace. the weight of your shared history, the fear of another painful separation, and the hope for a better future all mingled in the quiet kitchen, leaving you both longing for a connection that seemed just out of reach.
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THREE MONTHS AGO
you were drifting off to sleep when your phone's sudden ring jolted you awake. noticing it was a call from mark, you answered.
‘hey, y/n. sorry to bother you. can you pick jaemin up?’
‘where?’
‘we’re at a bar. i’ll text you the address. i can’t drive everyone home since i also had a few drinks. hope you don’t mind.’
‘yeah, it’s fine. i’ll be on my way.’
‘thanks y/n.’
you left your place once you received the address from mark. you arrived at the bar shortly after, scanning for familiar faces. you spotted mark, struggling to detach himself from haechan's clingy embrace.
“hey," you called out.
“oh, y/n, you’re here.” jeno waved at you. “jaemin, your girlfriend’s here.” jeno shook him roughly, prompting him to get up.
“y/n, did you know? jaemin said that you’ve been-“ haechan was cut off by mark’s swift slap on his back.
“you guys should go," mark advised. "jaemin is completely drunk. he nearly passed out in the bathroom.”
“alright, we’re off. you guys take care on your way home.” you said, supporting jaemin as you left.
the cool night air hit you as you hailed a cab. after some effort, you managed to get jaemin home and settled on your couch. you removed his shoes and brought a damp towel and water.
“jaemin, do you need anything?” you asked softly, wiping his face. he remained silent as you helped him into a more comfortable position.
“you’ve been spending a lot of time with eric,” he said unexpectedly. your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. you’d only seen the guy twice this week for some club related-activities.
before you could respond, jaemin continued, his words slightly slutted. “stop seeing him, or he might get the wrong idea.”
oh.
jaemin had mentioned before that he didn't like eric, misinterpreting your friend's comforting presence during your breakups as romantic interest. despite eric's past hints of affection, he had always respected your boundaries. all your friends knew jaemin was your world, even when you were supposed to be forgetting him.
“we’ll talk about that when you’re sober. you need rest now.” you said, standing to get a pillow and blanket. but jaemin grabbed your wrist, pulling you back.
“you’ve changed,” he began. "you used to make time for me, no matter how busy we both were. but now... your love feels different." he paused, swallowing hard. "i tried to get your attention, you know? even ignored you on purpose sometimes. but you don't react. you don't get mad anymore."
jaemin's eyes met yours. "are you getting sick of me? of us?"
his confession hit you like a wave, leaving you breathless. it was the first time jaemin addressed your situation honestly. you never realized he was intentionally ignoring you. up until now, you'd always been the one to initiate difficult conversations, baring your soul only to feel unheard days later. eventually, you stopped trying, leading to your last breakup.
when jaemin asked to reconcile, you couldn't bring yourself to refuse, just like all the times before. despite the emotional turmoil, being with him felt infinitely better than being without him. but now, uncertainty weighed heavily on your heart.
"i'm just... i'm so tired, jaemin. it feels like i'm the only one who's actually trying," you said, tears welling up your eyes. "you say that you love me, but where's the proof? i can't remember the last time you made an effort for us. do you even love me the same way you used to?"
you continued, your voice breaking. "you have no idea how much i've been holding back. there are days i want to scream at you and beg you to put me first. you always have time for your friends, but what about me? i get that you're busy most of the time but it feels unfair. i would drop everything for you in a heartbeat."
you wiped your eyes roughly, your frustration palpable. "i've lost count of how many times you've been 'too busy' for me, only to find out you were out with your friends. i'm not asking to be your whole world, but am i even still a part of it?"
"y/n, i..." his voice cracked. "i didn't know you felt that way. i never meant to-"
"but that's just it," you interrupted, voice softening with hurt. "you didn't know because you stopped paying attention. we got too comfortable. we no longer care if we hurt each other's feelings."
jaemin's glassy eyes fixed on you, the weight of his mistakes sinking in even through his drunken haze. he had always played it safe, overlooking the signs and letting you suffer alone. now, he realized the extent of the damage he caused.
"i'm sorry," his voice hoarse. "i'm so sorry. i didn't realize... i've been such an idiot." he reached out for you, managing to take your hand and gently pulling you into his arms. he kissed your forehead, a silent plea for forgiveness. in that moment, he wished he could shelter you from every mistake he had ever made.
"i don't need you to apologize, jaemin. what i want is for us to go back to the way things were before." your words carried the weight of longing for the happiness that once defined your relationship.
but as you both sat there, the air was heavy with an unspoken truth. despite the closeness of your bodies, there was a distance that couldn't be ignored. you both knew that no matter what happened, you could never truly return to how things used to be.
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PRESENT
three weeks passed since you last spoke with jaemin. despite the tears you shared that night he was drunk, nothing really changed. jaemin only became more cautious, and you wondered if he'd do anything to fix your relationship. you already shared your feelings, so the next move was his. but it seemed you both silently knew that things had gone too far to save.
you were stuck in a waiting game, each hoping the other would end things. part of you wanted jaemin to be the one to do it this time. he never fought to keep you before, and you were afraid that if you ended it, you might give in again if he tried to come back. you wanted him to make that final choice, to let you know it was really over. but deep down, a small part of you still hoped he might surprise you and fight for what was left of your love.
even when it came down to it, jaemin couldn't find the courage to end things. in your mind, you begged him not to leave things unsaid. after all you'd been though, how could he just walk away without a word?
as hours turned to days, days to weeks, and weeks to months, the harsh reality set in. you had to move on without getting closure on your story with jaemin. he never found the words to end things properly. instead, he took the easy way out, leaving you to deal with the pain alone. he left behind a heartbreak that time couldn't easily heal, forcing you to pick up the pieces by yourself.
in the end, you were left missing him, carrying the memory of what you had and what could have been. the empty space he left became a constant reminder of a love that faded away quietly, leaving you to face the future alone.
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chemicallady · 1 year
Note
Heyyy, would you possibly be able to do a Noah Sebastian story that is like a brothers best friend dynamic? I live eat and breathe this stuff lol
I WANNA FEEL LOVE AGAIN
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Couple: Noah Sebastian x Fem!Reader
Content Warning: slight mention of sexual intercorse. Nothing too deep, I'm saving it for next Chapters
Summary:  you're a real mess, your life is turning into a living hell, so your brother Matt convinces you to move in with him in LA and start working for the band he's taking care of
A/N: I dont wanna spoil to much in here, because... Well, you' ll see. English is not my native language and no one peer review this ff. It's gonna be a world of fun, I already know it!
Important! I don't know Noah or Matt or any of the real people portrayed un this story. This is fictional!
Enjoy then 😏
Ouch, I've lost myself again
You've always been around, unseen. Having a brother like Matt could be a blessing and a nightmare in equal parts. You were feeded with stories about gigs and musicians while grow up with your older brother, who is dear to you in a way that actually you cant explain. Matt as always been your twin flame even if you are younger than him. You grew up looking at him with a lot of respect and it broke your heart when he left Texas, moving to California. At the time you werent ready for the big change and your brother's friend were still a bit mysterious to you.
You were used to spend as much time as possible in his company, but with this fresh start for him, you just fell into the ordinary. Nothing against your life, by the way; your parents always supporting, best friends ready to drive you to the closer pub and deliver the best night possible, a lovely boyfriend who adored you in any meaning.
You loved the shit out of Shawn. He was your person, the one always there when you were in need. Your high school sweetheart. Maybe he wasnt your first kiss or your first fuck but he was the one who made you feel like it was worthy, living for someone else. The one who pushed you to improve yourself for your own sake, that helped you in finding a job for the local tattoo shop as a piercer when the school was over.
You did everything in your power to be the best girlfriend possible. You decoreted your shared flat in the warmest way possible. You turned down a good scholarship for that college in Montana, pissing your parents and brother for this lost opportunity. You gave up to your dream to be a writer because he had to stay in Texas and take care of his mom. You helped him through the loss, when she die.
But it wasn't enough.
You loved the shit out of Shawn and he loved you in return, but it wasn't enough.
Your relationship suffered a slow, agonizing death with multiple attempt of reanimation. Vacations togheter, a bigger flat, a cat.
Nothing compensate the distance between the two of you and he was the one brave enough to call it for a quit. You knew was gonna happen but it didn't hurt you less. Moving back to your parents, while quitting your job just to avoid to meet him everyday, took you to the bottom. Then the shutdown decided to kick you while you were already down, spending days in bed just listen music or watching anime whitout any chance to go out with your friends or for just a walk.
Everyone was really worried about you. You lose weight and that energy that always marked you.
And you stayed there, drowing in your own misery until Matt decided that enough was enough.
《 Pack your shit, you're moving in with me to LA. You're done making mom and pops that upset.》
The end of fall 2021 signed your rebirth. Matt found a bigger apartment for the two of you and Lucifurr, your vicious black cat which has an obsession in chewing cables and destroy everything paper made. You have always want to leave nearby the ocean and Malibu had a ton of opportunities to offer you. You started a yoga class the same week you moved, in order to make some new friends. Accoding to Matt, there are a lot of things to do around the band he is working with, Bad Omens.
You offer yourself as a merchgirl, but since you're a good writer an even better in tolerate people bullshit (you have to be karmatic, all the teens who came to get a piercing to the shop have always made a scene in front of needles), you could be perfect as a PR/assistant for the band. You remember them barely because someway somehow, these are the guys who steal all the time Matt has. Time that you never get.
You remember this four guys with long hair, basic metalheads, except for the drummer. You remember when you gave him the nostril after a show in 2015, maybe 16, and he took it like a champ whitout complaining. You remember the singer, this slenderman type of guy with beautiful long hair that looks like silk. You've never felt more envy of someone else hair like that. And also the other three guys were nice, especially Vincent. The only one who you can connect to a familiar face because you two got a nice conversation on tattoos when you visited Matt, three years ago.
They are nice.
You've heard stories about them at every phone call.
But still, thieves of precious moments that you want have again in your life again between you and your brother.
All the missing birthday, all the call postponed due to technical issues. He wasn't there to pick up your pieces when Shawn get a rid of you.
And Matt wasn't supposed to, but being selfish, you wish he was there.
But he is now and this is enough to bring the light back to your life. The long talks after dinner, movie nights, everything is back to the normal between you two since you moved and it's restoring.
With this wave of good mood, even if you havent forgotten Shawn yet, you enroll to gym, so you can work out after yoga.
And is in this specific place that you meet Eric.
The first time you caught him lurking at you you were running on the thremill.
There is something familiar in him but still, you dont know anyone in LA. You were the one who actually landed the first conctact with this new alien subject, so introvert to avoid your eyes.
《 Today is hot as hell, right?》
Talking about the weather is the easiest card to play. He smiled a bit shily to you before answering. 《 Don't tell me, I hate how hot is in here. Are you new? I've never seen you around》
《 I just moved in with my brother, actually. 》
《 You're a southie for sure. I like your accent.》
You giggle at his words, while he gets some confidence, passing a hand through this short hair. 《 you got me. You don't sound californian as well》.
《 Maybe because I'm not》. There was a moment in which he seemed to be doubtful, like he changed his mind and he didn't want actually to talk with you. He looked at you with a weird expression, like he realised something was off. 《 What's your name?》, he asked then, almost suspicious.
And then you lied. You rarely give your real name to strangers. A self defence mechanism for girls. 《 Vanessa. You?》
He looked more relaxed, 《 Eric.》
《 Nice to meet you Eric... Do you know a nice bar around? 》
《 Maybe I know a place 》 he reflected, smiling a bit malicious. He was definitely flirting. 《 Can offer you a beer or something? Just to welcome you in town.》
You are not ready for a new story yet, but after almost a year after you broke up with Shawn, you needed at least some human conctact. Eric was nice with you since the beginning. He invited you to this dive bar after the gym a couple of times, not far from your place. He paid for you a couple of cocktails while having a real nice Conversation. A superficial one, about the tattoos that covered him. About living in LA. You mentioned your brother a couple of times and he talked about his roomates and all the crazy things they have done during the pandemic.
He told you he is a Producer and you told him you're still unemployed.
One way or another, he got closer to you in a matter of days. And when he kissed you, you obliged and kiss him back. One thing leaded to another and the two of you ended fucking in the back of his SUV. And oh boy... you needed it so much. It was a quickie, but he seemed to be promising. His long fingers stimulated you untill you cried out for pleasure. His mounth divoured you inch by inch. And his cock....
He knew how to use it, let's say that.
After, he gave you his number and the two of you planned to see each other by the end of the week, at the gym, after your yoga class and his class of jujitsu....
The morning after you're fresh and relaxed like you weren't in months. Matt tends to be overprotective so you didn't told him about Eric while you were having breakfast. You need to know this guys deeply before accept that you know have a situationship. And your brother doesn't need to know about you screacting you itchies.
He has a hot temper when someone looks at his dear little sis.
After breakfast you got ready to meet the band again after almost three years.
《 I can't believe Vincent quitted. He was the nicest.》
Matt sighs while driving to the guys' house, mentally focused on the traffic. 《 youll see him when we'll be in Virginia, don't worry. 》
Your eyes slip on streets and houses, wards and parks but you still feel like You're in a new country. You don't know how much it will take to get used to California.
《 here we are》 , Matt says, parking. 《 let's refresh the rules.》
《 Oh c'mon, I'm not twelve anymore》
《 y/n 》
《 alright! I don't have to embarrass you while you're free to be mean on me. I don't have to embarrass myself talking shit just because I'm nervous and if the music sucks, I can't tell your precious Noah.》
《 You can do better but, more or less, that's it. Lets go. I need another coffe and maybe something sweet before start to film the music video. 》
It's so weird filming inside a house and not in a proper set but all this low budget bullshit are quite the normal for small bands, you think.
You have to be their assistant and eventually a PR- so Matt can stop to bitching on twitter all the time- and you know nothing about bands.
According to Matt, you're going to learn quick.
According to Matt. You know that he picked you up for the job so he can force you to write what he wants.
And continuing to bitch around through you.
The guitar player greets you at the door and introduces himself again as Jolly. The rest of the guys minus Noah are in the garage. It's marvelous how Orie, one of the guys who lives here, a director, reorganize the space with tubes and flashlight.
《 What's the name of the song, again? 》 you ask to Nick Folio, whos already youre favorite.
《 Artifical Suicide》 it's the answer, while he takes his place back behind the drums.
《So emo》 it's your honest observation that makes him laught. Matt looks at you in a way that if he could, you would be incinerated where you're standing. You're already embarrassing him.
Nice.
You regret nothing.
It's a lil sister job to make her brother in troubles, that's what pops always says.
Mike brings you a coffe that you accept with a smile, than tells everyone the news about the singer that is still not here.
A diva, of course. That's your first thought. Every singer is a natural diva.
《 He is still looking for the glove.》
《 He would lost his head if it wasn't attacked to his neck》 , a solid comment arrives from Ruffilo, immediatly followed by an annoyed reply from behind you.
《 I can ear you motherfucker. You are- what the fuck?》
You turn in time to face the famous singer and almost choke with the coffe.
《 Yo Noah, do you remember my sister, y/n?》
You see Noah turning pale for a second while trying to say something in return.
You're also speechless for a second, before putting your shit togheter so Matt wont finds out in the first five minutes. 《 Howdy! You... you cut your hair. Nice. I didn't know》
You didn't.
That's why was so easy for Noah to be Eric for almost a week. For a hook up with you. His best friend sister.
....Splendid.
You're fucked.
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mssonepiece · 9 months
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🩷High School Sweetheart🩷
🩷Chapter 1🩷
The Text?
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Megumi Fushiguro x fem!Reader; Modern AU, no curses, cursed spirits or possession of cursed techniques; Reader and other characters are in college.
1.3k+ Words
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Dear Megumi, we've been friends since middle school and I've been thinking maybe it'd be nice to know if you feel the same way that I do about you.. I hope I don't regret this... I feel more close to you than any of our other friends and lately I can't stop myself from wanting to be around you all the time, it's okay if you don't feel the same. I love being your friend and I'm so scared to lose that because of this.
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Looking at the message you typed out on your phone five minutes before you think of how this is the corniest text you've ever written up in your life. It would be utterly embarrassing to send this message just to be left on read or be told that your feelings are not reciprocated, making things awkward between the two of you. But you've felt as though you've had this crush on Megumi for so long that it's either shoot your shot and try to be something more or force yourself to stop hanging out with him in hopes to lose all romantic feelings toward him. Will that ever happen though? Would you be able to lose feelings even if you did ignore him? The more you think about the situation the more you feel like the text is a bad idea. Is it a good idea to ruin this friendship for the chance of something... more. Ding
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~After The FaceTime With Maki~
You and Maki talked on the phone for a good hour and a half before you had to end it short for a bit of grocery shopping. You should have done it much earlier in the week, then you could have stayed on the phone longer. If you don't go today though then you will have nothing to eat tonight. On the way there you think back about what Maki told you over the phone. She of course had more to say about Mai, they've been living together for a year now in an apartment their parents pay for but Maki is the only one doing the daily chores around their house. You think that if you were her, you would have made Mai do more or move out way sooner. Maki of all people is surprisingly patient with her though.. at times.. It seems like she's also having the usual problems with her father too. They always seem to have some sort of dispute going on but today was particularly bad. He doesn't accept what college she has chosen to go to and is trying to have her drop out and transfer to the same college that Mai attends. Mai goes to a more high-league school but Maki has no interest in going to a school that is only to help her family's public image... It's that bad. Well her father called again pestering her this morning and when she declined for the hundredth time, he called the college board saying that Maki was very interested in transferring soon, even asking for her transcript. He's taking things too far, you can't help but feel bad for her. Wishing you could have talked to her more on the phone and carried on walking the short way to your local market.
The sun is setting, casting a beautiful blend of colors across the cloudless sky. On the side of the sky where the sun has already subsided, stars are starting to appear. Your feet slowly stop moving forward as you crane your neck up, getting a better view of the whole night sky. You could look at it forever but the awkward feeling of standing in the middle of a sidewalk was creeping up on you, making you take slow steps towards the market again. It's a silent walk other than the cars and people passing by. It's peaceful. Well until the sudden thought of wanting to share this moment with Megumi. Leading to a slideshow of thoughts. Your head felt like it was spinning and full of so much information that it just wanted to drop on the hard concrete ground.
The market doors seem to appear in front of you out of nowhere, arms instinctively reaching out to pull the handles. Maybe you've been a little in your head lately because of this whole Megumi thing but none of the choices of action are appealing. If you were to end up ruining your friendship with Megumi over some high school crush then you’re sure you could never forgive yourself. He’s always been there, mentally and physically. Ever since you first became close in middle school he has been the first friend you would choose to hang out with, even though he can be a bit of a bore sometimes he is good company. You could be sitting in silence together for hours, him reading a book and you playing a video game, watching a show, or sometimes reading along with him and neither of you would have anything to complain about. But if you carry on feeling like this without ever telling him then it would soon be too hard to even be around him anyway. It’s slowly becoming a comfort to have him just hanging around whenever you have something you need to do. You would have even asked him to come along shopping with you if you had not felt embarrassed by the whole text you wrote up earlier, and didn’t even send. The urge to text him now is strong but what to say isn’t coming to mind. You’re better off getting what you need from the market and going back home. Maybe then you'll be able to think of something to send him.
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Setting the few bags of grocery’s down on your dining room table you finally take a deep breath for the first time in what seems like hours. Reaching back for your phone from the back pocket of your jeans, you open the messages app. 
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After updating Kirara and texting Maki again about your crush situation, you decide it’s best to put your phone away for a bit while you make dinner. Choosing to ignore the fact that you told both of your friends you were going to text Megumi. But also sending a text to Nobara that will catch her attention, riling up her pho mo.
Your kitchen isn't very big, only having a small one bedroom apartment often doesn't come with much foot space. You still try to make it look nice with decor and furniture. Plants really have helped with brightening up your home, bringing different greens and yellows throughout your house. It makes you feel like your apartment is 'homey' and more livable. Everywhere you've lived before here never really felt like your own. Going from your family home, to a year long roommate situation, and finally now you rent your own apartment off-campus. It's such a different feeling knowing that you have the place to yourself and of course the responsibility of the bills will definitely make you feel that difference too. It's close to campus, just a short five minute walk. You're even able to stop by Starbucks everyday, you don't.. but you could. You basically live in the center of town so you can walk to most places with ease, making rent much more tolerable too when not having to pay for a car. You'll have to deal with your college loans later in life, but that's the least of your current worries.
Dinner is as boring as usual, chicken and rice. Anything that is quick and easy to make so that you can relax sooner. It doesn't take long to make the rice and start on the chicken. You start to feel like it would have been better to order food but it's all worth it when you get to sit on the couch with a steaming bowl of chicken and rice. Situating a pillow in your lap, then the bowl of food on top. You use your right hand to hold the bowl in place on your lap and the other to reach for the tv remote now that you're comfortable, turning on the television to Netflix most recent watches. Episode 13 of "Orange is The New Black" brightens the display from the dark loading screen previously there. You raise your hand to the spoon sitting in the white glass bowl and take a bite from it as the show starts. You hear a faint ringing of an iPhone from the kitchen but choose to ignore it til the end of the episode.
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Masterlist
Let me know if you want to be on the tag list!
Tag List~ @m00nglad3-mp3 @we-loveebony
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studyblri · 1 month
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🐈‍⬛️༉‧˚。🎓𖤐₊˖°. a lil update ₊ෆ🍙⋆🫧‹𝟹🎧⋆˚✧˖
⊹ I'm done with my last internship!! which means im no longer a student, but now unemployed :DD
⊹ I went to a wedding for the first time in about 7 or 8 years, i think. it was lively! (I took the middle-left picture there.)
⊹ I (unintentionally) lost weight. Around 7-8 kilos since may. i mean, i needed to lose weight and I still do, but the fact that it happened without dieting makes me happy :)
⊹ I’m visiting Germany in September!! I’m sooo excited because the only time i’ve been abroad was for just 4 days, but this time i’ll be there for almost a month!! i’m trying to stay calm, but i’m seriously so excited!!!
⊹ I need a series to binge!! i officially don’t have school starting tomorrow!! it’s impossible to believe lol. i need some dramas to watch… please suggest some ;)) (i also love true crime docuseries!)
⊹ i still have some things to do, though—like graduation and internship paperwork. It’s just paperwork, but the deadlines are important, and there’s a lot of it. So, I still need to focus and get things done. (boo hoo)
⊹ College is over, but I still need to study for language proficiency and master's exams in November. I'll be updating this blog more frequently from now on!!
⊹ I'm starting therapy this month, and this time I'm determined to go through with it. i know it's a bit ironic, being a psychology grad and being scared of therapy :) But i never knew where to start or how to openly face the challenges. Sharing everything with a stranger also feels uneasy :) I still don't feel fully ready for it, but I've decided to cross that bridge when I come to it. I just need to take that first step,,
TL;DR
I’ve closed a chapter in my life now, and I’m already excited for the next phase—my master’s journey. For this summer, I had so many plans, but I couldn’t find the time for most of them :( Now, I’ll focus on relaxing while also staying productive over the next two months. I don’t want to push myself too hard, though, because I haven’t had a vacation longer than one month since 2020!
╰┈➤‎ ‧ ₊ ˚ ✧ [ ♡٭* 🎧💿༘ ⋆๋࣭ ] ✧ ˚ ₊ ‧
For the past two weeks, I’ve been listening to just this album. Thanks to Google’s algorithm, the moment I started listening, my YouTube recommendations were flooded with analysis videos about Tyler, the Creator and IGOR :) He’s truly an amazing artist, and although I don’t have enough knowledge to praise him thoroughly, I can definitely appreciate how impressive this masterpiece is. You’ve probably heard it before, but I hope you’ll click and listen to it from start to finish again when you see this post!
bye!
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wanderingsoul6261 · 11 days
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Credit for gif goes to james-beaufort
I'm not really sure I like this. I'm in a writing funk right now, it seems. Edited it to the best of my ability at 1:30 am. I have more ideas coming out for this man, like another part of the x Tailor!Reader series.
This is a two in one. Got two requests that I felt I could put into one piece of writing. Like I said, I'm not sure I like it, so I might end up rewriting it or something. Time is just difficult between work and college.
Warnings: none that I can think of other than implied sex.
She sat outside, her feet dangling in the pool, moving back and forth gently, watching the ripples moved through the water. The sun beat down on her, but it wasn't hot, a soft breeze moving through the air making the day bearable, and maybe the only bearable thing all week. 
Her hands were settled in her lap, the ends of her summer dress fluttering slightly in the breeze, her hair following the same motion. 
James watched her for several moments, stepping out of the back patio doors of her home. The light chatter of her parents could be heard inside, providing an added sense of domesticity to the moment. 
I love you. 
The words almost came tumbling out of his mouth. Know one had been good enough for her, treating her as if she was a waste, the second best that wasn't even that. His heart thundered against his chest, threatening to blow through his chest as he finally took a step towards her. 
She startled, twisting around to look at him as his feet scraped against the cement around the pool.
“Sorry.” He spoke softly, as if speaking too loud would ruin the moment, as if it ever could. She visibly relaxed and he watched as she slouched slightly, watching him as he moved to take a seat next to her. 
It was silent. Crickets starting coming out as the sun set and the moon started it's adventure across the sky, the light from the manor behind them the only light source. The two of them sat shoulder to shoulder, the only sound being their breathing as they took in the presence of each other. 
He waited for her, not wanting to push, wanting her to talk about the guy that broke her heart once more, leaving others to pick up the pieces. James was mad at the way he treated her, always forgetting that she was there, leaving her on the sidelines when she should have been with him in the game. James had always known he would never treat her like that.
“Am I the problem?” His heart shattered. He snapped his gaze towards her, eyes wide as she looked at him with doe eyes. Oh how he loved her eyes, grateful that he had them in his life. 
“What- no. Of course you aren’t the problem.” He exclaimed. “You could never be the problem.” Her name fell from his lips as a sigh. “We never know why people do the things They do. But I know you didn't deserve it. No one deserves what has happened to you. Someone will Come around eventually and want to devote their entire being just to make you happy.” 
Like me. 
He thought to himself, and as she leaned against him, her head resting on his shoulder, he knew would want to do just that. But there was a risk, and he couldn't lose her entirely if the relationship were to ever fail. So he would sit and watch from the sidelines, loving her from a distance. 
—---
“James!” 
His turned around to see her, excitement in her eyes as she rushed over to him. Several others in the hallways gave her looks, but the two of them were two focused on each other to really care. 
A small smile slowly made its way to his face, her name falling from his lips as she neared him, coming into earshot. 
“Heard that your parents are out of town. You and Lydia can come over. We can hang out! Mom and dad will be home, but they already said it’s okay.” James took in her excitement, the corner of his eyes crinkling as he watched her ramble. 
“We’ll be there.” He said, stepping in, before she spoke too much and forgot what she was asking. She paused, taking in her words, and his eyes moved over her face, taking in her excitement and the way her eyes twinkled as she spoke to him. It was hard to believe that a few months ago she had her heart broken. 
The two started to walk shoulder to shoulder down the hallway to their next class, which just happened to be with each other. Her voice was music to his ears as she spoke to him, going on about what the three of them could do. Movies were brought up, with popcorn of course, although she didn’t fail to mention that she might read a book at some point, or have her sketchbook and paints littering the room as the movies played. 
He didn’t care though and neither did Lydia. Hanging out with her was a breath of fresh air, because while her parents definitely had money, they didn’t let it speak for them like many others at Maxton Hall. The family was true to themselves, and it was a nice change amongst the others. 
“Do you want me to talk to Lydia, or should I?” She asked. James tilted his head in her direction, thinking for several moments before he answered. 
“I’ll talk to her. Don’t worry that pretty head of yours.” James said, and he could have sworn that her face blushed slightly before she looked away from him, her lips curling into a smile. “Is there anything that you want us to bring?” He asked, his eyes remaining on her. 
The two of them continued to take steps closer to their next class, but moved slightly slower than the rest of the students rushing past them. They reveled in the company of the other, enjoying each other’s presence better than others around them. 
“Nope.” She said, looking up at him. “I got it all handled. You guys just bring yourselves. Not too hard is it?” She asked. James shook his head, his gaze stuck with hers as they finally walked into their next class. She flashed him another smile, his heart soaring into his throat, threatening to choke him as his steps faltered. 
He needed to remain on the sidelines though, but as the night came to exist and he watched her instead of watching the movie, reading her book or sketching, her legs draped over his legs while Lydia lounged on a bean bag, it was becoming more and more difficult. 
———-
He couldn’t remain on the sidelines any longer. It was becoming harder for James to keep himself in check as she continued to talk to other guys. It had been a year since her last break up, and she felt comfortable enough to talk to another again. 
Which led them to where they are now. 
James stood against a wall, watching her from a distance as she smiled and laughed at something that another student from Maxton Hall told her. It looked genuine, and her eyes held that twinkle that they had been void of for so long. 
James clenched his jaw as he watched the two converse with each other, his knuckles growing white as he clenched the glass in his hands. 
“Jealousy doesn’t look good on you, James.” Alistair came to stand next to James, looking over at his friend briefly before his gaze moved to where she stood with the other guy. The two watched as her gaze slipped past the guy, catching sight of the two friends. Her smile had grown impossibly wider before she turned her attention back to the one before, but her smile wasn’t as big this time. 
“I don’t want to get in the way of her happiness.” James said, knowing well enough that Alistair knew about his feelings for her. “And that’s exactly what I’d be doing if I confessed. There is too much at risk Alistair.” 
“She feels the same way. You should see the way she looks at you when you aren’t looking.” James turned back to his friend, caught slightly off guard. There was no way she felt the same way. 
“There is no way.” 
“You are just too blind and oblivious. 
“I know what’s in front of my face when I see it.” Alistair only scoffed. 
“Keep lying to yourself. But I firmly believe that you need to talk to her, and soon, because you might not have that chance for long.” His friend patted his back, leaving him to sulk behind himself, a half empty glass of champagne in his hand. James turned his attention back to her, finding her already staring at him and the umpteenth time since he had known her, his heart threatened to pound out of his chest, his throat going dry as he watched her. The palm of his hands grew sweaty, wiping his one hand on his slacks, before switching his glass into his other hand and repeating the motion. 
He was always so calm and collected, so organized, but she had the power to unravel him and do it with little to no effort. 
James watched as she politely excused herself from her current conversation, and had taken the look on his face as an invite to walk over to him. He licked his lips, watching as she neared him, his heart starting to thud against his chest, and as she finally reached him, chest pressed almost together, James knew that he wasn’t going to hold back anymore. He was done with the sidelines. He was done watching.  All he wanted to do now was run the game by her side. 
So he set his glass of champagne down on the nearest flat surface. He turned his attention back to her and set one hand gingerly on her cheek, the other on her waist, before he dipped his head down and swallowed her lips into a kiss, knowing without a doubt that she could probably feel his heart threaten to beat out of his chest. 
———
“Will you marry me?”
He couldn’t help it when the words slipped out of his mouth. James laid with her in bed, their bodies bare and covered with marks made in coital bliss. His hand skimmed down her waist, stopping on her thigh and drawing small shapes into the small skin. 
She seemed better relaxed than at the start of the encounter, and knowing that it was her first time, James did everything he could to make her comfortable. He couldn’t ever think about doing anything in any other way, not when he loved her so much. 
She froze, but the smile remained on her face. 
“What?” She asked. James swallowed, his body growing hot with anxiety, sweating, even if the blankets only covered a small portion of his body. 
“Marry me.” He said, furrowed his brows, and then corrected himself. “Will you marry me? Please?” Her smile turned into a grin. 
“No fancy plan?” She asked, and he was relieved when she didn’t say no, but he had yet to receive a yes. 
“I did, but I- the moment.” He paused, struggling to find a better way. “I don’t need some fancy plan to propose to you. Plus I don’t have a ring. It just came out and I might have made a joke out of it, but then I didn’t want to. I want to marry you.” She gazed up at him with an easy smile, eyes crinkled and dimples showing. 
“Yes, I’ll marry you.” She responded. James surged forward at her answer, his lips pressing kiss after kiss over her face, her name and ‘I love yous’ falling from his lips as a mantra, the promise of their future filling the room as he tightened his grasp on her, pulling her closer to him to show her once again, how much he loved her. 
-----
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