#Claudia making bubblegum pop

[withacapitalp]

Tell Him (Nothing) Everything Pt 2

Part One Link to ao3

Chapter Two- Second Mistakes

After their disastrous first meeting, Eddie found himself going to Steve’s bakery pretty much every single day. He would wake up, shower, put on at least semi-clean clothes, and walk down to Claudia’s just in time for the morning rush to be over. In fact, the only days he didn’t were Saturday and Sunday, because those were the days that Steve’s brother and his friends would hang around the cafe on and off all day. 

Needless to say, Wayne was ecstatic at this sudden one eighty. He had no idea what had happened to drag Eddie out of his depressive spiral, but he was happy about it all the same, and Eddie was happy that his uncle was happy. 

There was definitely enough happiness to go around. 

He and Steve entered into an easy kind of routine. For five or six hours straight Eddie would sit at the countertop on the far end of the bakery, writing lyrics and bars in his ratty old notebook while Steve ran his cafe and offered Eddie little nibbles to ‘taste test’. 

When things were busy Eddie liked to hop the counter to ring people up while Steve packed boxes of sweets and made drinks. And, when things were slow, Steve would turn the music up and dance around while he cleaned. Eddie was forced to put his pen down and watch the sinfully silly delight. There was no point in trying to pretend he wasn’t blatantly staring at Steve’s ass as he wiggled his hips and wiped down tables, singing along to ABBA and Bonnie Tyler in the goofiest voice Eddie had ever heard. 

Arguably, that might have been the best part of their new easy whatever this was, but Eddie knew there was something better. 

No, the best part was the talking.

Eddie hadn't realized how quiet he had gotten until he was back to jabbering all day long with someone who was easy to talk to. Steve just had this way of getting Eddie to open up, and for the first time since Chrissy, he felt like he had found someone to chat with that didn’t completely exhaust him. 

It was mostly because they never talked about anything too heavy. They definitely got to the personal- Steve’s brother, Dustin, was a frequent topic of conversation as Steve fretted about raising him ‘properly’- but they never got to the painful. Eddie didn’t ask why Steve was raising his thirteen year old brother at only twenty three, and Steve never wondered why Eddie was in town when he clearly didn’t belong in a place like Hawkins. 

It was fun. It was easy. 

It made Eddie feel completely guilty.

He wasn’t sure if he was even allowed to have good things anymore. He had been given the best person in the world, and he had destroyed her, so the universe had decided to give him another wonderful person? 

Didn’t it know Eddie was a ruiner? 

Well, if the universe hadn’t figured that out yet, then Eddie had resolved to not feel all that guilty about being selfish and keeping Steve when he knew he shouldn’t. He would hoard this happiness until the world righted itself and remembered that he didn’t deserve it. 

But for now, it was ten o’clock, and the cafe smelled like berries. 

“Helllloooooooooo, hungry customer waiting!” Eddie called out, obnoxiously ringing the bell over and over, needing to drown out both his thoughts and the disgustingly cheerful bubblegum pop playing over the speakers. 

“Get out!” Steve singsonged back, his voice growing louder as he came closer. 

“You’d miss me too much, Angeleyes,” Eddie replied, walking to his usual spot and hopping up onto the bar stool, not bothering to wait to see Steve come out from the back. Angeleyes was just one of the many nicknames Eddie had come up with for Steve’s…interesting music choices. 

“Don’t make fun of ABBA, or I won’t let you sample my new recipe,” Steve pouted as he walked over holding a still steaming tray of delectable goodies. His apron was a soft sea green today, the paw prints an icy blue that matched the polo he was wearing. 

Eddie couldn’t stand how cute Steve was, he really couldn’t. 

“What’s this one?” Eddie asked, reaching over. 

“Watch!” Steve immediately said, pulling the tray back so Eddie couldn’t burn his fingers, “Blackberry lemon crumble bars,” 

Steve put the tray down and carefully placed one on a plate, making Eddie’s coffee the way he liked while they waited for the bars to cool down a little. 

“I went out with Dustin and the kids this weekend and we picked a ton of them,” Steve said, passing over the plate and the cup. Eddie broke the treat in half, delighting in the shower of crumbs that fell on the china plate shaped like a cat.

The second the flavor hit his tongue he let out an absolutely sinful moan. At the start Eddie had tried to play it up, enjoying the way his noises would make Steve turn bright red, but he quickly realized he didn’t have to exaggerate anything. Steve’s food was just that good. 

“Sunshine, I’m gonna propose marriage,” Eddie said, his mouth still full, “Be ready for a big fat ring. I’ll wife you up, and then you can just travel the world with me and bake.”

“Don’t talk with your mouth full,” Steve automatically said, laughing softly and ignoring Eddie’s flirting the way he always did. He leaned over the counter, grabbing the other half of the bar and eating it much more delicately, somehow avoiding making a complete mess, “You should’ve come with us. It was a nice hike,” 

“Yeah, you lost me at the word ‘hike’. I don’t do hikes,” Eddie joked, conveniently avoiding the real reason he would never spend any time with Steve outside of this cafe, the reason he never came on weekends. 

Because not only was the idea of meeting Steve’s little brother was kind of intimidating (A child prodigy with a dungeons and dragons obsession? Yeah that kid was way too cool for his own good), but Eddie also knew that if Dustin didn’t like him, Steve would probably never talk to him again. 

Or worse, Dustin might recognize him. Then Steve really would never talk to Eddie again.

“Alrighty no hiking. Then what do you do all day? Besides coming here to bother me,” Steve teased, opening the display case and beginning to place the rest of the bars in a neat uniform row. 

“Nothing,” Eddie replied, grabbing his notebook and getting ready for their usual routine to start. He had a pretty good idea for some lyrics about berry kissed lips and tart lemons dripping sour into open wounds. 

“Sounds pretty boring,” Steve said idly. 

“Relaxing,” Eddie countered, looking up from his book, “You forget- I’m on vacation,” 

Well, bereavement. If running away from your entire life to hide at your uncle’s house in Podunk, Indiana could count as bereavement. 

“Ah yes, vacation from this mysterious job of yours that I’m not allowed to know anything about,” Steve said with a roll of his eyes. There was no heat in his voice, no edge to his tone, but Eddie’s stomach was starting to drop anyway. 

They knew all kinds of things about each other. Eddie knew all about Steve’s time as a high school jackass, and Steve had heard the calamities of Eddie’s own teenage years, but then there were gaps. Huge gaps. Big glaring gaps. Mostly on Eddie’s side. 

He couldn’t share most of the things that had happened in his last ten years without revealing his secret. Still, the longer he held onto pretending he was normal, the worse the fallout was going to be when he had to admit he wasn’t. 

“You can ask,” Eddie eventually said with a fake casual shrug, “Just no guarantees I’m gonna answer,” 

But he would. He had decided that if Steve pressed, if he really wanted to know, he would spill it all. The ball was unknowingly in Steve’s court, and that took the pressure off. Steve was the one who decided when this all ended and reality snuck back into their little corner of the world. 

“Nah, you’ll tell me whatever it is when you’re ready,”  Steve replied easily, once again keeping them both in suspense. The bell on the door jangled behind Eddie, signaling that customers had just entered. Steve greeted them with a big smile, and then he was walking away from Eddie who unabashedly stared at Steve’s back.  

Sunkissed Small Town Atlas, what I wouldn’t give to be on my knees holding your world?

God, Eddie was going to Hell. Those lyrics were even too dirty for Corroded Coffin. 

He wrote them down anyway. 

“By the way, Dustin burned me some new CDs of stuff he likes,” Steve said later that day when it was just the two of them again. He was elbow deep into the espresso machine, trying to fix something that was broken with the milk frother, and Eddie was about two seconds away from jumping into help him, “I told him that you’re into metal and rock too, and he said that these would be more your speed,”

“Burned CDs,” Eddie said with a soft laugh, coming around the counter and picking up the plastic cases Steve had nodded towards, beginning to rifle through them. They were covered in sharpie doodles and careful writing of every song. 

The kid had taste. Most of this was the stuff Eddie grew up on. 

“Hey, not all of us can afford music streaming,” Steve shot back, popping his head out of the machine for a second to stick his tongue out at Eddie before burying his face back into the mechanics. 

It was good that he did, because if Steve hadn’t, he would’ve seen the way Eddie’s jaw was dropping as he looked at the hand drawn devil mask on one of the CDs. An extremely familiar devil mask.  

“Corroded Coffin?” Eddie whispered faintly, all of his extremities starting to go numb. 

Was this Steve’s subtle way of telling Eddie he was caught? Was he trying to pull a joke or something? 

“Oh yeah, you’ll see a lot of them. He’s totally obsessed with that band,” Steve replied, cursing loudly as the machine began to spit water at him. Eddie abandoned the CDs and hurried over, helping Steve to do battle against his machine 

“Dustin really likes them?” Eddie said out of breath, panting as they both tried to come down from the high of fighting against the coffee demon. 

“Obsessed,” Steve gushed, grabbing the case with the Corroded Coffin CD and waving it around as he walked over to the player hooked up to the speakers, “He has all their music, a bunch of their records on vinyl, posters and everything. I even saved up to get him and his friends tickets to go see them live,”

Steve’s tone dropped at the last sentence. His brow furrowed, and his face pulled into an uncharacteristic frown as he slipped the CD in. The sound of Eddie’s own voice began to fill his ears. This was one from the before time, back in their MySpace/Youtube era before they recorded their first album. 

The kid really was a fan. 

It’s raining down. 

All around. 

Hellfire. 

God, sometimes it was hard to not cringe at his old lyrics. Sixteen year old Eddie really thought he was a genius. And his voice was still too high, it hadn’t fully dropped back then. Eddie decided to distract himself from the way the song made him want to curl up in a ball and die, focusing on Steve and the way he still seemed upset. 

“You sound disappointed. Not happy that your baby brother is a metalhead?” Eddie asked, keeping his tone light and hoping that would give Steve an out if he didn’t want to talk about what was bugging him. 

“Oh no, as long as he’s safe and happy I don’t care,” Steve said dismissively, waving a hand around his head, “I guess I just- you know the tickets I got him? The ones to see this band? They’re totally useless, because they canceled their whole tour.”

“The entire tour?” Eddie blurted out, rearing back with a jolt. 

He knew that they had to cancel at least the first few dates because he had disappeared, but the entire eight month tour?! They weren’t even supposed to start touring until next week, and Indianapolis was still three months away. 

The other guys were that sure Eddie wasn’t coming back…

To be fair to them, Eddie was also not so sure he was going back. But that had to be a shit ton of money, and without a lead singer or a manager-

Eddie had royally screwed his bandmates. His brothers. He had been so focused on what he needed, he forgot they needed him too. He forgot that without Eddie Munson, there was no Corroded Coffin. 

Chrissy would’ve killed him for that. 

If he hadn’t killed her first. 

Eddie couldn’t help the soft noise that escaped from his throat, and he walked on wooden legs back to his usual corner, tucking himself into the seat and trying to curl up and be as small as possible. Not only was the guilt back, but it had grown devil horns and demon wings, exponentially worse now that Eddie could no longer ignore how many people he was screwing over. 

“There’s a really big mystery about it. Apparently something happened to their manager and she died?” Steve continued to babble, completely unaware of the burning fire poker he was jabbing into Eddie’s chest, “The lead singer, Freddy something, was close with her, and after that he just kind of vanished. It was a big media circus,” 

Freddy. It wasn’t funny, because nothing about the situation was funny, but Eddie laughed anyway. He laughed, because if he didn’t, he was going to start crying. The laughter bubbled out and spilled across the countertop, sounding nothing like Eddie knew himself to sound like.  

“Eds?” 

Steve’s warm hand cupped his face, and when Eddie looked up a watery blurry version of Steve was looking back at him, and when he blinked to clear his vision, he became aware of the tear tracks already cutting through his face. 

Oh. Apparently he could do both. Eddie had never laughed and cried at the same time, but here he was. 

“What happened?” Steve asked, letting his thumb softly brush against Eddie’s cheek, wiping away the tears in a move that was so intimate it sent shivers shooting down his spine. 

The last person who had done something like this for him was Chrissy, and that comparison was just one shade too much for him. Eddie untangled himself from Steve and hopped down, going around the counter and grabbing the black apron with white paw prints that Steve left out for him, tying it around his waist and attacking the dishes in the sink with ferocity. 

Steve let him, sitting back against the counter and waiting. He had learned in the last few weeks that there were moments where Eddie just needed to do something physical to work out whatever was happening inside of him. The first time it had happened, Eddie had just paced for an hour straight, and he was sure Steve would kick him out when he was done, but the younger man had simply shrugged and offered for Eddie to do the dishes the next time instead.

‘Might as well get some free labor out of it’ had been Steve’s reasoning, and Eddie had wanted to kiss him right then and there. 

“Dustin’s pretty upset I bet,” Eddie finally croaked out after he finished rinsing out one of the cat themed mugs. It wasn’t just his bandmates he was letting down, but also all of the fans that had been loyal to them for years and years. 

Eddie was letting everyone down. 

“Well, he was at first, but he’s trying to be understanding about it. He said it was like if I lost Robin. I can’t even begin to imagine what that would feel like,” Steve said cautiously, as if he wasn’t sure that they should just drop the fact that Eddie had been crying only moments before. 

When Eddie didn’t say anything he crept closer, leaning into Eddie’s space to grab a towel and begin to dry the cups on the rack. 

“Are you o-” Steve began. 

“I’m glad Dustin isn’t too disappointed,” Eddie cut in, unable to hear those words. If he heard them again, then he would tell Steve the truth. 

He wasn’t okay. He didn’t know if he was ever going to be okay again. 

“I am too. I just wish I hadn’t spent so much money on those stupid tickets. That was Christmas and his birthday gift all in one,” Steve sighed. Eddie flinched at the sound, looking down at the soaped up canister in his hands instead of at the man he had personally screwed out of hundreds, possibly thousands, of dollars. 

“You didn’t get a refund?” Eddie asked, unable to believe that the other members of the band wouldn’t give everyone their money back. 

“Well some of it,” Steve said, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck, “I got the price of regular admission tickets back, but I got a bunch of extra stuff too- good seats, backstage passes, the works. All of that was apparently nonrefundable.”

“How much was it?” 

Eddie didn’t want to know the answer, but he needed to know. He was apparently a masochist now. 

“Backstage passes for all six of them plus me to chaperone?” Steve asked rhetorically watching Eddie wince in sympathy, “Yeah, I was feeling that loss for a few months,”

Eddie didn’t have any more dishes, but he had lots of energy, so he grabbed a washcloth and began to wipe down the counters, avoiding Steve’s eyes which he could still feel locked onto his back. 

“Geez, you must really hate that lead singer, huh?” Eddie was attempting to go casual, but he was so far from it that it wasn’t even funny, “I mean the dude just disappears because one person died?” 

Any second now Steve was going to call him on his weirdness, and Eddie was going to have to blurt out the entire terrible story and try to beg for forgiveness. 

“No, not at all,” Steve replied without giving it any thought. 

“Really?” Eddie breathed, turning around to stare at Steve with wide eyes. Steve shrugged, going back to fiddling with his coffee machine. 

“I don’t really know what happened, but if I lost Robin? I wouldn't want to talk to anybody, let alone jump up onto a stage and try to perform, or act like nothing happened. I think everyone just feels bad. Apparently the fans are still leaving him lots of tweets and stuff. Dustin told me some hashtag was trending for him a couple weeks ago,” Steve said, grabbing his phone with the obvious intent to show Eddie. 

He was going to look up Corroded Coffin. Which would lead directly to tons of headlines with Eddie’s face plastered on them. 

Eddie was up and moving before he even knew it.  

“What are you doing?” Steve asked slowly as Eddie grabbed his wrist and pulled it down, making sure Steve couldn’t look at his phone. 

“I don’t wanna see it.” Eddie said in a rush. 

He didn’t want his secret exposed, but he also didn’t want the reminder of who he was. He wanted to keep being Steve’s Eddie. A stranger with funny little quips and a refined palate. He wanted to be able to keep being this person for a little while, whoever he was. He didn’t want to go back to being the Eddie that had lost his Robin.  

“Please,” Eddie said, lowering his voice to a whisper. Steve stood there blinking at him for a second, staring at Eddie like he couldn’t really make sense of him. 

“Alright,” Steve said, finally hesitantly agreeing. Eddie breathed out a long slow sigh of relief, leaning back against the counter and letting go of Steve’s wrist. 

“You’re a really nice person, Steve Harrington,” He said with a tired grin. 

“And you’re a very confusing person Eddie Eddie,” Steve shot back with an incredulous little laugh. He pushed off of his own counter and held a hand out, “But you are a good taste tester. Now come back here and help me make this next batch of crumble bars perfect. I think it might need a frosting,” 

Eddie went willingly, the sound of his own voice over the speakers filling his ears. 

[an-actual-attack-helicopter]

Ever wondered what kind of music the Dragon Prince characters like/dislike?

Well I made a list because I have no life <3

Callum: Techno and house. He likes to dance. 🕺 He pretty much respects all music.

Rayla: Stoner rock. Like, Queens of the Stone Age type shit. Hates bubblegum pop and folk music.

Stella: Likes any music she can work out to. So like, power metal or something.

Ezran: swiftie. Hates derogatory rap.

Bait: Music that makes you poop. Hates all other music.

Claudia: Fairy metal. She also wakes up to nyan cat every day. Dislikes most classical music.

Viren: Loves very epic classical. Like, Carmina Burana level epic. He also secretly likes musicals and hates nyan cat.

Aaravos: OG Lady Gaga fan. Also likes Madonna and some Beyoncé but is forever loyal to Mother Monster. Hates Viren’s taste in music.

Soren: He insists that beatnik poetry is music so make of that what you will. And he is the only one who knows Viren likes musicals. Soren does too and they used to bond over it.

Corvus: Doesn’t really listen to much music. He says his favorite music is the sounds of nature. Dislikes electronic.

Terry: He likes folk music. A lot. No one knows what music he hates because he doesn’t wanna hurt anyone’s feelings by revealing it.

Zym: Anything Ezran likes because Zym is young and impressionable.

Opeli: Lofi jazz lmao

Runaan: Traditional moonshadow music. Doesn’t like anything else

Ethari: Same as Runaan but more open-minded.

Amaya: Metal because she can feel it physically. She knows a lot about the history of heavy metal and can explain the intricacies of each genre with remarkable accuracy. She dislikes music that doesn’t have much bass so she can’t feel it. (AN: imo best music taste here ironically lol)

Janai: Went through an emo phase. Hates scat.

[smellofemale]

i wanna talk about my 2nd bill dr🤭

the year: 2009 because bill in the humanoid era is my fav 😩

my occupation: musician and model

how he like realizes i exist: i live in NYC and he comes there on tour and stays at a hotel and on the TV there mtv comes on and one of my songs (i'm a musician in this dr and yes i did take half of gaga's discography) judas comes on and he sees the music video (it's a little risque🤭) and he just like immediately falls in love with me.

how we meet: at a party. i invite a friend that he just happens to be friends with and that friend invites him and he recognizes me from across the room and comes to talk to me (he kinda fangirls 🤭) and we just kinda hit it off automatically and we like flirt and stuuuufffrf ahrhjsrjuwirjr. he makes the first move by tha waaayyyy!!!! then he invites me back to his hotel room (but like the party's at my house so it's like ?????)

MY DISCOGRAPHY!!!! judas by gaga, Alejandro by gaga, paparazzi by gaga, bad romance by gaga, monster by gaga, lovegame by gaga, poker face by gaga, government hooker by gaga, heavy metal lover by gaga, fashion of his love by gaga, electric chapel by gaga, scheiBe by gaga, applause by gaga, born this way by gaga, bubblegum bitch by marina, teen idle by marina, primadonna by marina, how to be a heartbreaker by marina, homewrecker by marina, starring role by marina, are you satisfied by marina, i am not a robot by marina, oh no! by marina, toxic by Britney spears, circus by Britney spears, oops!...i did it again by britney spears, lace and leather by britney spears, womanizer by britney spears, fastlove by George michael, hella good by no doubt, luxurious by gwen stefani, and more original songs of mine 🤭 as you can see i am a pop princess hehehehehe (2000s pop is my guilty pleasure and that's the main reason i made this dr im ngl 😭)

my style:imagine 90s vivienne westwood,90s Thierry mugler and rick owens had a baby.

my appearance: literally just me 😭 so imagine pamela anderson in 1995, claudia schiffer in 1990 and bella hadid had a baby

ok that's it 😁 look how pretty ma doux is hehehhr

[winepresswrath]

Playing myself because there is no actual reason to keep Claudia dead in this universe. There are no rules, the points don't matter and I feel like she'd absolutely love the opportunity to unleash a misandrist vampire queen. Rock Star Lestat is yesterday's news I am here for Pop Princess Claudia.

[kittybennett]

your choice | anti-soulmate au where they weren't born with soul-mates and they meet in a group where other people who don't have them meet-up. and they come to the conclusion that they're not weirdos for not having them. cause they have the group and each other jhskfjksdf - @malcolmbrights​

ok i’m sorry this turned REALLY long but here we go.

aka: five times ev didn’t go to support group and one time she did

i.

Evelyn Reyes spends much of her sixteenth year of life staring into reflective surfaces in the vain hope that she will find a soulmark has bloomed on her skin while she wasn’t looking. Most people are born within them, though it isn’t entirely unheard of for the matching tattoos to make themselves known in the years between childhood and adolescence. A teenager already, Evelyn is a rarity, late even by the most generous of time frames, and this makes her a repository for her peers’ pity. She takes to wearing long sleeves even in the sweltering heat of summer to avoid questions, but finds that it’s all people want to talk to her about. No matter how they phrase their comforting platitudes or prying questions, it all sounds the same to her.

Are you scared that you might be utterly alone? How relieved I am that it’s you and not me.

Evelyn hates them all, but most of all she hates the guidance counselor who calls her into her office to offer ‘support’ and gives Evelyn a flyer for a group of people with deceased soulmates. It’s not the same, the counselor explains, but those in the group might understand what Evelyn is going through. They can sympathize on how horrible it is to not have a soulmate.

Her cheeks burn hot. She shoves the flyer into the pocket of her hoodie and begs to be excused. On her way home she tears the flyer into little pieces and throws it over a bridge, watching the pieces of paper flutter and land on the river below while angry, shameful tears prick at her eyes.

After that, she stops checking her body for new marks.

ii. The first man that Evelyn loves also takes pains to keep covered up. Unlike Evelyn, he actually has something to hide: a bright blue tattoo of a bird in flight. The space where it adorns his forearm is usually bandaged lest Jamie’s eager admirers find a way to replicate it and render the mark useless.

When they lie together at night, Evelyn traces the mark. It’s the closest she’s ever been to one that didn’t belong to either of her parents, and even at a young age she knew not to ask questions about theirs.

“They weren’t soulmates.” Evelyn tells her lover one night. “His died when they were little — childhood sweethearts. And my mom has never talked about hers, but I know he’s gone too. She wouldn’t have married my father or had me if she thought he was still out there.”

What she doesn’t confess hangs in the air. Jamie addresses it anyway.

“You know that’s not the reason you’re like this, right?”

Evelyn is silent but the finger that was tracing his mark stills.

“Evelyn. It’s just bad luck. Seriously.” He tilts her face so he can stare into her eyes. Jamie is rarely serious, so this sudden sobriety makes it difficult for Evelyn to hold his gaze, but she does. “Bad things happen to lots of people, and it’s not the end of the world. My cousin is widowed, and he remarried and—“

Before he can finish his story, Evelyn kisses him. And kisses him. Her distraction works.

That night Evelyn prays for the first time in well over a decade: asking for a blue bird on her forearm. ( She breaks up with Jamie a week later. Better to get out with her heart mostly intact. She never does find out what happened to that cousin of his, though sometimes she wonders if she should have let Jamie finish. )

iii.

“Would it kill you to write something happy for once? Just one ballad about summer love, or getting dicked down?”

Evelyn frowns. “You know I’m not the bubblegum pop type.”

“That’s for sure.” Her producer sighs. “Listen, you’re good. But can’t you just write a love song that isn’t super … intense and depressing? Give us something fun and light-hearted for once.”

“What if I haven’t felt that?”

“Then pretend, or talk to someone who has.” The producer fixes her with a look between pity and sternness. “Seriously, Evie. Don’t come back here without a love song. And get a therapist.”

Evelyn returns in a week with a song about the thrill of a first glance and the intense flush of devotion that follows it. The song spends several weeks on the charts and goes viral after someone creates a Tik Tok dance for it, though none of that matters to sole inspiration for the song: Evelyn’s new cat.

iv.

Her second-ever happy love song is not as commercially successful, but it is inspired by a human being this time. Naomi is brilliant, and funny, and the most talented actress of her generation (according to a Vanity Fair correspondent but Evelyn is inclined to agree). The first time she refers to Evelyn as “the love of my life”, Evelyn spends the better part of a week repeating the moment in her mind.

Naomi really should have thought to mention the caveat.

Three years later, Evelyn laughs at something a precocious child on a television program says and asks, “What would you do if your child asked you that?”

Naomi shakes her head. “Pour myself some scotch and direct them towards their other mom, or dad.”

Evelyn is frozen.

Other mom or dad. Not you. Not the love of her life. Because Evelyn is only the love of Naomi’s life … for now.

Evelyn turns off the television program. “You don’t think we’ll raise children together?”

Naomi looks sheepish. To her credit, she picks her words more carefully this time. “Evelyn … be realistic. I love you so much but - someday I’m going to meet the real thing. You can’t ask me to say no to them for you.”

Evelyn feels the same hot shame she did when she was sixteen and finally accepting that she had no soulmate and never would. This time she won’t cry, not in front of Naomi. “I’m a person. Not your training wheels.”

She moves out the next day.

v.

Dating apps aren’t much different, as it turns out. She has way too many messages from people who assume that being bisexual means she wants nothing more than to fulfill the threesome fantasies of heterosexual couples, and even more messages from people who think that because she is “unmarked”, she isn’t looking for anything serious. To be unmarked is to be written off entirely as a romantic partner, or at least as a serious one.

She deletes the dating app, but not before she posts a screenshot of her DMs to her Instagram with a caption finally addressing the rumors that she is unmarked.

I've always been private regarding the subject, but I owe it to anyone else like me to be more candid about my experiences as someone without a soulmark. Yes — I am unmarked, but not unworthy.

That night she’s flooded with messages from others like her, who thank her and repost her message. It’s humbling and uplifting all at once and Evelyn is guilty that she didn’t do it sooner. She responds to as many as she possibly can.

( One message stands out among the rest:

@ teorror: hey @reyevie​  - if you’re in nyc, my support group would love to have you! we meet at [ …. ] )

vi.

In the end, it’s not another rejection or loneliness or even solidarity that leads Evelyn to finally try talking to others like her.

It’s pettiness, and a lot of annoyance.

A former classmate posts a soulmate announcement on Facebook in which the caption describes meeting her soulmate for the first time as the single most important day of anyone’s life, the center of the human experience.

It makes Evelyn grit her teeth.

She is indignant that anyone would not consider the pain and feelings of inadequacy those words might cause for unmarked youth like the ones she’s received messages from, or her younger self. And she realizes with a pang of regret: it’s not just social media, or dating apps. It’s also the songs that people like Evelyn have written, the films and books that saturate the market that convince everyone that no other kind of love or measure of happiness matters when compared to romantic love.

As much as Evelyn craves it, she refuses to accept that it should overshadow every other aspect of her life.

She scrolls through her messages until she finds the one from @teorror again, inviting her to join his group and decides to show up and prove her point, even if she’s the only one who knows it.

To her initial horror, the group is small. There are only three people there, and Evelyn is just about ready to turn on her heel and walk away rather than join such an intimate gathering when a man bolts from his chair with an overjoyed expression on his face.

“Hey! You actually came!” He goes to her, and offers his hand to be shaked. “Can I call you Ev? Guys! This is Ev! The singer I was telling you guys about? Come on, sit down.”

The man she’s guessing is Teorror (Teo, she’ll later learn) guides her towards the others and the other man produces a chair for her and introduces himself as Rico.

Mercifully, they don’t ask her to introduce herself first or talk first. The woman next to her (Claudia) does, then Rico and Teo. Eventually they all turn to Evelyn.

“You don’t have to share if you’re not ready, Ev.” Claudia says, adopting Teo’s nickname for Evelyn. “The first time can be overwhelming.”

Ev nods, but feels she should try anyway. “I’m Evelyn — and as I guess you’ve figured, I’m also an unmarked.”

Immediately, a shadow crosses over the faces of the others. Evelyn stops.

“We try not to use that word.” Rico says gently and Evelyn can tell he’s taking care to not embarrass her. “It isn’t good to define ourselves by what we don’t have, rather than what we do.”

“Tell us about you. Teo says you’re a singer?” Claudia coaxes helpfully.

Teo offers Evelyn another wide smile. “I used to call myself leftovers. Or spare parts. I thought it was really funny, you know? But they’re right: focusing on what you lack just sets you up for more pain.”

It’s something to think about. She’s back for the session next week.

As the months go by, she sees the group outside of meetings too, starting with a potluck at Teo’s and leading to drinks and mechanical bull rides with Rico, or sightseeing with Claudia. At first she wonders what it might be like to share a soulmark with one of them … to find a soulmate after all … but eventually, she nearly stops thinking of the marks altogether.

Those fantasies end entirely after another night of dancing, as they’re having greasy fast food and Teo slings his arm around her as he tells a story that requires exaggerated facial expressions and wild hand gestures. She laughs and almost misses the moment where Claudia returns to the table with her order and slides her a crispy taco (Ev’s favorite) and Rico picks at the tomato (which Ev’s hates) and places it beside his own burger so that Evelyn won’t have to. They know her well, she realizes, better than anyone. They love her better than anyone …and suddenly Evelyn feels overwhelmed with her love for them in return.

Here is the intimacy she’s been craving her whole life: a love that doesn’t ask her to define herself by it, or insist upon its sole importance. It simply accepts, and gives. 

Evelyn can only wonder why she ever thought this wouldn’t be enough.

[suteshiro]

ALL of the asks.

Hey! I didn’t get to this right away so I’m making an educated guess on what ask meme this was for ksjvnksjfnv

chocolate: when was your first kiss?

Ah,, haven’t had that yet!

french vanilla: how old are you?

I’m 18 babey

cotton candy: three places you want to travel to?

America, Canada and I can’t really think of anywhere else because I just really want to see my friends skvjnfkjv

strawberry: a language you wish you could speak?

Probably Japanese! Hindi might be neat too

coffee: favorite cosmetic brands?

I’m not that into cosmetics skvnsjkfv but theres this one brand that keeps making Sailor Moon themed makeup, I think it’s Creer Beaute? I can get behind that. 

mint chocolate chip: indoors or outdoors?

I’m an indoors guy

cookie dough: do you play any instruments?

I’m learning the guitar! It’s mostly my voice tho

rocky road: favorite songs at the moment?

Rn I have All my loving stuck in my head skjfvnskjfv but I think my current favs are What’s a devil to do, Mordred’s Lullaby and Kick it up a notch? Idk, all I’ve been listening to lately is this one playlist i made for my character and every song there is great

butter pecan: favorite songs for life?

YOU CAN’T ASK ME THESE THINGS I’M SMALL AND INDECISIVE

Hijo de la luna has been in my heart for forever and will probably always be

Love like you is,,, very dear to my heart as a song that I can very much relate to

I can’t think of anything else at the moment sknsfvn

cheesecake: what's your zodiac sign?

Scorpio!!

toasted coconut: the beach or the pool?

Depends!! The pool is my fav by default bc I don’t have to deal with things like. The sun. But when I went to Córdoba with my friends and we hung out at the river I had a blast

chocolate chip: what's your most popular post?

A really dumb Yugioh shitpost sknvjsfvk it’s been years and every now and again it comes back and I die inside

bubblegum: books or movies?

hhhhhh both? A while ago I would’ve said books and they’re very dear to my heart but I’ve been having a harder time reading fiction lately. and I think there’s a certain beauty to cinema

pistachio: manga or anime?

Manga!!! Anime’s great tho. I have a great amount of respect and love for voice actors so I always love watching animated media

salted caramel: favorite movies?

Ponyo, Princess Mononoke, Princess Kaguya and Nausicaa of the valley of the wind are all. very very dear to my heart

Conqueror of Shamballa is also a fav skfvnskjfvn

Oh! And Moana!

I’m sure I have quite a few not-anime favs but I can’t think of any rn ksvjfnkfv

birthday cake: favorite books?

Geisha, a life by Mineko Iwasaki is very important to me. When I was a kid I was amazed by how much I related to her and really wanted to be like her. Also I just think it’s really cool that she went out of her way to right the wrongs of Memoirs of a Geisha (which I am upset about, let it be known)

Betibú by Claudia Piñeiro is a really really good Argentinian murder mystery and i looove it

Also Argentinian, I’m a big fan of La Doncella Roja/The Red Maiden

moose tracks: favorites for manga?

PET SHOP OF HORRORS

Uzumaki by Junji Ito!!!

Mermaid Saga by Rumiko Takahashi was very sadly short but I loved every second of it

orange sherbet: favorites for anime?

Card Captor Sakura and FMA03 are probably my absolute favorites

peanut butter: favorite academic subject?

uuuuuUUUUUH

i don’t know what counts as an academic subject skjvnksfjvn

one of the subjects i have in school rn is based around making a videogame and im having a blast

in General Aspects I love art and have great appreciation for computer science in theory though im starting to doubt whether its My Thing academically

black raspberry: do you have any pets?

sadly no

mango: when and why did you start your blog?

fuck, I think it was like 6 or 5 years ago by now skvjnskfn and it was to be able to browse tags easier I believe

mocha: ideal weather conditions?

warm, windy, cloudy

black cherry: four words that describe you?

Kind, loving, needy, emotional ksjnsfjn

neapolitan: things that stress you out?

trying to approach a wide subject im not familiar with. even when i know i can handle it and have an idea of where to start its just so overwhelming

raspberry truffle: favorite kind of music?

probably pop? I don’t know honestly

chocolate marshmallow: favorite brands of candy?

Bonafide, Royal, Cofler I think

toffee: a card game that you're good at?

I don’t fancy myself very skilled in any card games honestly skjvnskfjvn I enjoy this one called We didn’t playtest this at all. Oh and I love Uno/Crazy 8s

lemon custard: do you eat breakfast?

Yes!!! Every morning. Sometimes I forget to eat but I try to be very consistent with That

dark chocolate: turn ons?

Am I allowed to talk about this? Can I be horny on main?? Is this allowed??

fudge: turn offs?

See above skjnskjfvn 

peach: how do you relax?

if I’m doing real bad my go-to is a ghibli movie and some tea. I like laying down and playing games on my phone or reading to chill

praline: a popular book you haven't read yet?

there’s so manyyyy

The Magnus Chase saga I really want to read

Also Good Omens

superman: do you like sweaters?

Yes!!! but only if they’re Really soft

cherry: do you drink tea or coffee?

around 80% of my liquid intake is iced tea ksjvfnsfv mostly peppermint. I enjoy coffee when I’m made to drink it because I sweeten it to death but honestly I don’t drink it by choice unless I have to stay up quite a bit

dulce de leche: an instrument you wish you could play?

well, i really want to get into the guitar, but also I would love to... piano

blackberry: have you ever laughed so hard you cried?

just a few times, but yes!!

latest time was when a friend narrated to us the story of his fish and it fucking killed me, I wish there was any way for me to replicate that mess

ginger: a new feature you wish tumblr could have?

Give me an easy way to block through my side blogs pls

blueberry lemon: favorite blogs?

im having a Lot of trouble thinking of them rn ksjfvnkjsfnv but i just saw @un-repentant in my dash and everything they ever put in their blog is great

almond: favorite mean girls quote?

I,,,,, didn’t watch Mean Girls, 

butterscotch: what color are your nails right now?

They’re not painted, sadly

cinnamon: have you ever been confessed to?

Nope! I mean, I have had my feelings reciprocated but nobody’s come up to me to tell me they liked me without prompting on my side

blue moon: have you ever had a crush on someone?

Yup! Still do

cappuccino crunch: do you take naps?

Not often which is a shame bc I love them

mint: the most embarrassing thing you've ever done?

I don’t wanna think about it skjvnksjfnv

brownie batter: do you like sushi?

I love it and it’s sad bc I’ve only eaten it twice in my entire life

key lime: where do you want to be right now?

Cuddling with a good good friend,

red velvet: do you wear prescription glasses?

Yes! I can barely see without them ksjfvnkjsfv

green tea: favorite flavors of ice cream?

Mint with chocolate chips, bitter chocolate? idk how to name it in English, white chocolate and Kinder chocolate

[glamodasite]

How To Rock Red and Pink Makeup on Valentine’s Day

With Valentine’s Day literally at our door, it’s hard enough to finalize those plans with our boo or besties, let alone worry about what to wear and how to put together a fierce face. After all, it’s a day devoted to love so we’ll want to look the part, and what better time than V Day to pull out those bubblegum, rosy, and mauve-y pink shadows and blushes?

Pinks and reds are super fun to work with and the rosiness adds a touch of romance to any look. Don’t be afraid to go all-out; pinks and reds are not strictly for lips and cheeks. Rosy, and even red, eyeshadow are having a trend resurgence — and they’re easier to pull off than you think.

We’ve gathered up some tips on how to rock pink and red makeup this Valentine’s Day without looking like a flamingo. Trust, it’s gorge.

Eyes

For a super chic and subtle eye makeup look with a lot of charm, do a wash of color—lighter shades of pink work well so that you avoid looking like you’re the sad recipient of an unfortunate case of pink eye.

How-to: Sweep color across entire lid, if you stick to a lighter shade, you can build up the color to the desired intensity, and mishaps are a breeze to clean up. Add black eyeliner when using only one shade so eyes pop. For the braver, go ahead and ombré your eyelids with a lighter shade in the inner corners and gradually getting deeper and brighter as you make your way to the outer corners and creases of your eyelid. Leave full-out pigments of pink and red for high-impact drama. If you’re feeling adventurous this V Day, try a glossy pink eye shadow for more oomph and sex appeal.(Tip: rub a little Vaseline over shadow instead of forking over cash on a gloss shadow.)

Try: Too Faced Sweet Peach Eye Shadow Collection Palette ($49), for multiple shades of earthy pinks, and then some. Bite Beauty Multistick ($24) in Lotus and Macaroon, can be used on eyes, lips, and cheeks! Make Up For Ever Artist Shadow Eyeshadow ($21) in M806, ME866, and D862…but there are countless rosy shades in 4 different finishes from this line! Chanel Les 4 Ombres Multi-Effect Quadra Eyeshadow ($61) in Tisse Cambon. Milk Makeup Eye Pigment ($24) in After Party.

Lips

With light pinks you can go ahead and match lip color to eyeshadow as long as you’ve kept the color in the same shade family. For subtleness, use a pink gloss instead of lipstick. But, if you want your lips to do all the talking (and kissing) this V Day, go for a bright pink or red lip, just keep eyeshadow minimal.

How-to: With reds, intense pigments, and colors meant to stand out, use a bit of concealer before applying lipstick to fill in tiny lines and creases and increase staying power! Concealer on lips is truly your best friend: Besides increasing staying power, it prevents lipstick from bleeding, too. (Tip: Use a skinny brush to outline lips with concealer once you’re done applying lip color to add more definition to that gorgeous pout.)

Try: Kat Von D Studded Kiss Lipstick ($21) in Mother. Givenchy Le Rouge ($25), a red and a pink mini lipstick so you don’t have to choose. Marc Jacobs Kiss Pop Lipstick ($28) in Pow 600. Make Up For Ever Artist Liquid Matte Lipstick ($20) in Cold Pink. Marc Jacobs Enamored Hi-Shine Gloss Lip Lacquer Lipgloss ($28) in Moonglow and Love Buzz.

Cheeks

A bright red or pink lip requires little else, so opt for a sheer cream blush in a pinky hue to give that barely-there blushing effect. Or even a pink highlighter to add subtle color and sheen while your eyes and lips get the attention. If you want cheekbones to have all the fun, then go for a bright pink blush, just keep the rest of your makeup simple (unless you want to look like a color swatch).

Try: Nars Blush ($30) in Gaiety and Angelika. Tarte Amazonian Clay 12-Hour Blush ($28) in Dollface and Flush. Dior Rosy Glow Healthy Glow Awakening Blush ($44) in Petal. Benefit Dandelion Dew Baby-Pink Liquid Blush ($28). Becca Mineral Blush ($32) in Flowerchild or Hyacinth for high impact. Stila Aqua Glow Watercolor Blush ($26) in Rosewater. Hourglass Ambient Lighting Powder ($46) in Mood Light for serious pink highlight.

*Check out the slideshow above for pink and red V-day beauty inspiration pics.

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Claudia Mercado is a beauty-obsessed writer living in Long Beach, CA.

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