#Class 144
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emilytakesphoto · 2 months ago
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pacers my beloved
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national-rail · 2 months ago
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See pinned for more info!
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aronaax · 1 month ago
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crazy chicks and their reality bending fathers
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inspired by the art for dis song ^ its a bit Freaky so i’m not gonna add it here 😒
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aortaobservatory · 1 year ago
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Hello! So, I wanted to know this: What's your take on the Seer of Blood? Your analyses on classpects and how they interact is pretty fascinating to read!
Thank you! The Seer of Blood is a canon classpect that belongs to Kankri, and I will say that one of the things that got me into classpecting as a whole was how... flatly the dancestors were written as characters. I figured that looking at their classes would help to ascribe some deeper meaning to them than how they were portrayed in canon, and I believe wholeheartedly that I am right about that.
The analysis written below is my own writing, analysis, and thoughts. The statements are my own analysis, but they may function as a “fill in the blank” statement for you to create your own interpretation of the classpect as you please.
-aortaObservatory
Seer of [Blood]:
Know - Too Little Experience with Blood
A player who lacks experience with [Responsibilities and Camaraderie], leading to a fierce drive to study [Promises and Relationships] and gradually learning of its potential to affect them or the ones around them
A Seer of Blood is surrounded by impulse and independence, and lacks responsibilities and camaraderie in their life, and as a result are driven to learn everything they can about how promises and relationships work in order to understand what they previously lacked.
Seers study their aspect, craving knowledge of it from their previous lack of it. They seek knowledge of their aspect with a fierce intensity in order to gain more understanding of it, acknowledging the potential consequences of doing so and dealing with them later. Their challenge is to learn how to translate their insight and knowledge into action and decision, as well as learn how to manage their engagement with their aspect so as to not overwhelm themself or others.
Inverse Classpect Analysis of Seer
Seer of Blood: Blood (Promises, Responsibilities, Relationships, Camaraderie) is passive and lacking. Too little experience with aspect causes lack of understanding of it.
Inverse: Witch of Breath
Breath (Impulse, Adaptable, Freedom, Independence) is actively changed within the Seer as they experience Blood (Promises, Responsibilities, Relationships, Camaraderie) to understand it from its passive presence.
Breath (Impulse, Adaptable, Freedom, Independence) embodies the Seer, but is changed to Blood (Promises, Responsibilities, Relationships, Camaraderie) as they experience Blood (Promises, Responsibilities, Relationships, Camaraderie).
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skeletalheartattack · 1 year ago
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Favourite personal weapon?
(you CANNOT say battleaxe!)
probably scythe. like i know it's not really good at all for like. combat. but like look at that shit. pretty dope blade while i hold the stick. sooo cool.
#ask#anon#im not sure anything else really compares. i dont honestly think about real life weapons that much really that said.#not without being like. shotgun. or double barreled shotgun. atleast if were restricted to melee combat here.#most games i tend to play shotgun a lot#except tf2 recently where ive been shooting pee darts and donking folks with cannon balls#granted. i range from class to class with no real like... goal? whatever fits the situation and that im confident in.#like i like playing soda popper milk fan o war scout a lot. i like playing pee sniper w/ shahanshah.#for demo i tend to always go loose cannon scottish resistance scottish handshake#scottish resistance cause i like coating a battlefield with stickies and just doing my best to detonate them when i think its important to#fucking hate sticky spamming btw. valve had the right idea nerfing that shit when they did. yknow. before they reverted it.#those things should be doing 60 damage when spammed... and like can do 144 after like a second or two or whatever#that way it punishes spamming and rewards using them as traps#but then the people who have sticky stranges would get mad or whatever. idk. its weird to me that valve reverted the nerf somewhat#it does a lot of damage and you dont gotta even hit the enemy directly with the projectile. so its an easy weapon.#idk.#for heavy i dont have a real loadout im happy with. i tend to go brass beast family business and eviction notice#ik tomislav is like the best overall minigun but. idk.#eviction notice really sucks but once someones pestering me up close i really like to chase them down while punching them#since most of the 9 classes cant get out of range. ive managed to do it a bunch despite how much i dont like the weapon.#like. i wish it didnt have the max health drain. id prefer if like. i couldnt be overhealed if i had them equipped.#the slight speed increase is. okay. paired with the increase in speed when hitting a player.#though if it was simplified. id add those two stats together for the on hit attribute.#so like... less damage. faster swing speed. faster movement when hitting an enemy for a second. and no overheal when equipped.#instead of it just being a weirder worse gru.#that way its just about punishing players who get too close. and makes you weaker if youve got a medic. since you cant be overhealed.#soldier... i just use rocket launcher/black box panic attack and whip. nothing really unique about my playstyle with him.#engineer. panic attack pistol gunslinger or jag.#im no good with the widowmaker and i like having 6 shots so id rather not use the frontier justice.#anyway im at the tag limit. thank you for the ask anon!!!
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aluria-sevhex · 1 year ago
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how the fuck do i do classpecting there's so much analysis that's been done on this shit at this rate im gonna have to do this shit myself
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hellokenmaz · 1 year ago
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Trying to catch up on lectures for an exam for a class with a lecturer that I absolutely cannot stand in any capacity. 😭😭😭😭
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adhdheather · 8 months ago
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i cant believe i just abandoned dark shadows like that while watching the phoenix arc, i rlly need to start marathoning that show again
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griffmeistergeneral · 1 year ago
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Pacer 144011 disappears into Ingrow Tunnel
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localbardofmind · 9 months ago
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holy fuck its been a year
and finally
this fucking thing is done
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happy 413 (for me at least) yall
heres the extended extended zodiac chart. names under the cut
time: arsein, taursein, gemsein, cansein, lesein, virsein, libsein, scorsein, sagisein, caprisein, aquasein, pisein
space: argi, taurgi, gemgi, cangi, legi, virgi, ligi, scorgi, sagigi, caprigi, aquagi, pigi
heart: arlio, taurlio, gemlio, canlio, lelio, virlio, liblio, scorlio, sagilio, caprilio, aquilio, pilio
mind: arna, taurna, gemna, canna, lena, virna, libna, scorna, sagina, caprina, aquana, pina
light: arpin, taurpin, gempin, canpin, lepin, virpin, libpin, scorpin, sagipin, capripin, aquapin, pipin
void: arittazius, taurittazius, gemittazius, canittazius, leittazius, virittazius, libittazius, scorittazius, sagittazius, caprittazius, aquittazius, pittazius
breath: arui, taurui, gemui, canui, leui, virui, libui, scorui, sagui, caprui, aqui, piui
blood: arcep, taurcep, gemcep, cancep, lecep, vircep, libcep, scorcep, sagicep, capricep, aquacep, picep
hope: arcius, taurcius, gemcius, cancius, lecius, vircius, libcius, scorcius, sagicius, capricius, aquacius, picius
rage: arinorn, taurinorn, geminorn, caninorn, leinorn, virinorn, libinorn, scorinorn, saginorn, caprinorn, aquinorn, pinorn
life: arscies, taurscies, gemscies, canscies, lescies, virscies, libscies, scorscies, sagiscies, capriscies, aquascies, piscies
doom: armina, taurmina, gemmina, canmina, lemina, virmina, libmina, scormina, sagimina, caprimina, aquamina, pimina
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darkmatilda · 2 months ago
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╰┈➤ HALLOWEEN TRADITION
in which one you and reid match your outfits every year for halloween
tw: mention of shoo!ing, dea!h of an animal
contents: spencer reid x fem!reader, they're both obviously in love with each other, time skips
words: 7.5k
a year ago
“Oh, I already ordered. Caramel cappuccino, almond milk, double amount of vanilla syrup and cinnamon sprinkled on top, am I right?
“Your photographic memory is sometimes just terrifying”
“Thank you. By the way, are you still afraid to order this coffee in front of Rossi?”
“Yep. I always take regular macchiato. The last thing I need in work is his judgemental, Italian look…”
Meanwhile, as Reid let out a short laugh, you quickly took in your surroundings: the brick walls and oak tables, the decorative pumpkins by the entrance, and the menu hanging above the barista’s counter, adorned with (artificial) leaves. Just like every corner of this trashy coffee shop was trying to remind you about autumn.
 One thing about you — you were an extreme autumn lover, who unfortunately was allergic to pumpkins, so you couldn’t fit the autumn white girl stereotype completely, by ordering a pumpkin spice latte. And you would rather die than wear a sweater. All of them were scratchy. 
“So” started Reid, hitting a notebook cover with a pen. "I spent all of last evening and more than half of this morning writing down ideas for our Halloween costume this year. I made sure none of them were too similar to our last year's outfits or anything our friends have ever worn to make sure we’ll be the best-dressed people at the party”
“God, Reid, you really took it seriously this year” you raised your eyebrows, shocked and full of admiration at the same time. “And how many ideas did you find?”
“143”
“143?!” you repeated, assuming that he was just joking. Spencer was looking at you with a deadly serious face. “Are fucking crazy? How are we going to choose between 143 ideas? I can’t even choose what socks to wear in the morning…”
“144” he corrected. “When you were saying that I came with another one, Tyler and Marla from Fight Club…”
You had this tendency to forget the names of fictional characters (though, somehow, you could name every American serial killer who ever existed and everyone from your high school class. It was both funny and slightly terrifying that, in two cases, those names overlapped) so it took you a moment to realize who Reid was talking about.
“A guy with a red leather jacket? And this woman who was always smoking?”
“Their names are Tyler Durden and Marla Singer. I don't mean to sound rude, but you made me watch this movie and claimed it was one of your favorites, yet you don’t even remember the main characters' names?"
You shrugged your shoulders. You could say nothing in your defense, that was just the way you were. A subtle smile danced on your lips.
“When I started working with you” you meant the whole BAU “I couldn’t remember all of your names. About two months later I slowly started to recognize them because of how you were addressing each other but because everyone was calling Hotch by his surname I didn’t know his actual name for, like, years…”
Disbelief showed on Spencer’s face but then got replaced with amusement.
“Years?”
“Don’t you dare laugh at me because of my memory problem, mrs. I know the moon signs of everyone around me…”
He raised his hands in a defensive gesture.
“How could I dare, ms. I don’t remember my boss's name even though we’ve been working together for five years…”
“I couldn’t remember it back then! Shame on you, Reid. I shared my secret with you and you immediately started laughing…”
“And what did you want me to do? Make you an appointment with a neurologist?” 
That's what our usual conversation looked like. Like a professional ping pong game. Year after a year, month after a month, day after a day you were just becoming better and better players. 
Waitress came along your table, setting your orders on the table. You always had to smell your coffee first, cinnamon aroma ticked your nose. 
“"Not that it means anything, but my memory problems have worsened since I met you." you said, taking the first sip of a coffee. 
“What do you mean by that?“
“Well, I don’t have the need to remember anything when you remember literally everything that comes your way. You've spoiled me a bit in this regard."
Spencer smiled softly, with a little bit of pride, caused by your words. 
“ Always at your service”  he declared. Suddenly his back went straight, as he probably reminded himself about something. ”Did you call your brother today? It’s his birthday… 
“ No way” you jumped on your seat and immediately started looking for your phone to check what day it was. 14 October. “God, Reid you’re right. I completely forgot…Have I already told you how much I love you? 
You standed up, ready to leave the coffee, declaring that you’ll be back in a moment. People around were having their lunch. The whole place became too noisy for a birthday phone call with your older brother, who lived in a different state. 
“Not today” He replied shortly. 
“So, I’m telling you now, Spence. You’re the best friend I could ever imagine…”
As you were busy with dialing the right phone number and trying to wear your coat at the same time, you couldn’t see how his smile faded after the last sentence. 
a week later
“It cost me like half of my salary” You said, tossing your dark hair back so it wouldn't accidentally catch fire while lighting the candle. A damn expensive candle, as you mentioned. “Another half goes for that little shit”
With a nod, you indicated the ginger cat that had already settled comfortably next to Spencer. He didn’t take his eyes off the laptop screen, checking something with a furrowed brow. With one hand, almost automatically, he gently scratched Mr. Cinnamon Roll behind the ear.
“It’s made only with fully natural ingredients. Vegan friendly. People with migraines friendly. Almost everyone friendly, except of your wallet” You continued your speech, agitated, recalling the guy in the store who refused to sell you a simple, cheap autumn candle, explaining its poor quality, and convinced you to buy the most expensive one he had.
Finally, the wick caught fire.
“So, you’ve got something?“
It was a late evening after work when you both felt exhausted, yet you decided to meet at your apartment to search online for essentials for your Halloween costumes. The idea of going as a couple from Fight Club had won.
You were supposed to be Marla, and he was to be Tyler. You weren’t a couple or anything like that, but for the past five years, it had been your tradition to wear matching outfits for the halloween party organized by your team. Usually, various other friends would join, and having more people allowed for a best costume contest, which you nearly won every year.
“Yeah, but you probably won't like that, considering that you’ve just confessed to spending your entire paycheck”
You set the candle down on the small coffee table in your living room and joined him on the couch, almost crushing Mr. Cinnamon Ball. He didn’t look offended by that — this cat would rather be crushed than leave Spencer’s side. Somehow, he loved him more than the hand that fed him. 
Sitting so close to your friend, your head nearly touched his shoulder, but neither of you minded.You had known each other for four years. You met regularly to watch movies or just to chat, and more than once, you had fallen asleep with your head resting on his arm, that was way more comfortable than any pillow. The rest of your team sometimes joked about your close relationship, but in your opinion, it was only because you were almost the same age! And maybe a bit because you felt the most comfortable in his presence, you understood each other the best, and he made you laugh the most…
For God's sake, why did you start thinking about that at that moment? When you were so close to each other and his gentle scent was slowly enveloping you...
Okay, you’ve thought of him as more than just a friend once or twice. Like that time he stayed over at your place, and you didn’t want him to sleep on the uncomfortable couch, so you shared your bed. You felt so good waking up next to him and regretted that it was just a one-time experience…
You realized he must have said something to you, but you were too lost in thought to hear it.
Instead of repeating himself, Reid pushed the laptop closer to you. On the screen was a website featuring an auction for….the original red leather jacket from Fight Club! You almost screamed. If you had won her over, the victory would have to be yours...
Your enthusiasm faded like a blown-out candle when you saw the final bid amount. 
“What the fuck? That's more than the total of our annual salaries…” 
 "Actually, it’s twenty thousand less than..."
You both fell silent in disappointment. Then, a very silly idea came to your mind.
“Reid” you started slowly. 
“"Oh no, I know this tone. You're either about to say something extremely absurd or something inappropriate, and I don’t know which one scares me more."
 "But listen. We'll wait for the auction to end and for someone to buy that jacket. Then we’ll talk to Garcia and convince her to track down the buyer. We'll go, knock on the door, and when they open it..."
"We’ll politely ask to borrow it?"
"No, sweet boy, we’ll show our badges and say the auction was illegal, and we need to confiscate the jacket."
Spencer burst out laughing.
"Your ideas are brilliant. But how are you going to explain this to Hotch afterward?"
“He won’t find out”
“He find out”
“Okay, you’re right. He’ll probably find out”
A silence full of smiles fell between you.
Spencer closed the auction page and started browsing something else when you let out a laugh at your own thoughts. 
“Okay, I have another idea that won’t cost either of us our jobs,” you said, capturing his attention. He tore his gaze away from the laptop and focused completely on you and your trembling lips, which hinted that you weren’t going to say anything serious “The beginning of the plan sounds the same but instead of showing our badges, you’ll give him a blowjob… “
“Fuck you!” he shouted, unable to stop himself from laughing. At the sight of his expression, a wave of laughter hit you so hard that Mr. Cinnamon Roll jumped off the couch and ran away from his sick owner. “I’m not giving any random guy a blowjob in exchange for a jacket. In exchange for the original diaries of Einstein, well, I wouldn’t say no; I would think about it, but not for a jacket!”
“But it’s the jacket from Fight Club, Spence. Brad Pitt was wearing it” you encouraged him, amused. "Besides, how do you know some guy will buy it? It could be a woman.” 
Spencer rolled his eyes and was ready to continue arguing on the topic, but suddenly it seemed as if he changed his mind. His expression grew more serious.
"Actually, it doesn't change much, but that's not the point. What worries me more is that I've lost my touch. Maybe you'd want to replace me in this? The buyer might not be satisfied."
He said it in a tone as if he were talking about a truly serious, real transaction, which only amused you even more. Also pretending to be serious, you patted him on the shoulder.
“Don't worry, Spence. I'm sure you'll manage just fine.'"
"Really? What makes you think that?"
You considered making a joke, but then you realized what you were talking about while studying him. After a whole day at work, he looked... surprisingly... attractive? With slightly tousled hair and two buttons of his shirt undone…
"‘Nothing,” you replied. For the first time in his presence, you felt slightly embarrassed to continue the topic. Your closeness on the couch didn’t help at all, and you regretted scaring off Mr. Cinnamon.
“No, something makes you think that” 
The tension between you escalated to the point where you weren't sure if he was still joking. You realized that in this silence, every change in your breathing would be audible, so you tried to control it. 
What makes you think that? Spencer just seemed that way. I mean, you often talked about your relationships, and you assumed that his potential partner would lack nothing.
Embarrassed, you wanted to say something when he suddenly burst out laughing.
"Jesus, we were talking about blowing somebody for a jacket. Why did you get so scared? 
You hit him on the arm so hard that he let out a groan.
"I didn't get scared! You just suddenly became so weird that I didn't know if you were joking or what” 
"‘Of course I was joking. Why would I ask you that seriously?” he asked, and you noticed that he also carried a hint of embarrassment.
"I have no idea. Maybe you wanted to know my opinion or something” You desperately tried to return to the atmosphere that had existed between you just a moment ago, one that felt more friendly.
Spencer swallowed hard. It was clear he also preferred to drop the topic. 
“I don’t know why you would have any opinion on that, but let’s get back to what we were talking about before you switched into perverted weirdo mode...’"
After his words, you had to hide your face in the sleeve of his shirt, unable to contain your laughter. He seemed surprised by your reaction.
“ What? What did I say this time?” 
“Perverted weirdo” you blurted it out, almost choking on your words.” You called me a perverted weirdo…”
“Well, considering your recent ambiguous comments…”
“I'm going to tell Emily about this. Hey girl, you know how Spencer called me last time? A perverted weirdo…Oh no, I got your shirt dirty with my makeup… “
Spencer looked at the sleeve of his shirt and shrugged, saying, "It's nothing."
"No," you shook your head, trying to rub the stain off his shirt with your fingers, but of course it didn’t work. "I spilled coffee on your pants last time. Take it off; I'll wash it today."
"It's late; you’re not going to deal with washing my shirt right now. Let's get back to looking for our costumes."
You agreed and once again found comfort leaning on his shoulder. He still held the laptop on his lap, and whenever you wanted to type on the keyboard, you had to rest your elbows on his body, on the lower part of his stomach. Why were you even paying attention to that? You shaked your head and leaned over the laptop when you found the perfect shoes for Marla's costume.
In that position, you couldn't see Spencer, but you felt he was almost completely still. After a moment, however, he slowly reached for your hair, gently brushing it with his fingers as if checking its texture.
"We don't need to buy you a wig, right? Your hair will do just fine."
You murmured in agreement as he continued to play with your hair, probably unaware of how much he was distracting you. You had been staring at the picture of the shoes for five minutes and couldn’t remember what you wanted to check. Ah, the size!
"Reid, we have a problem," you said. "They don't have my size. I checked to see if a larger size would be available, since I could stuff them somehow, but the smallest is a 10!"
"Your shoe size is 7; in such large ones, you'll either look ridiculous or kill yourself before even arriving to the party…Do they have to be those specific ones? Maybe you can find some others..."
"They have to be those! They're identical to the ones Helena Bonham Carter wore."
Spencer sighed thoughtfully. His breath tickled the back of your head, which distracted you slightly once again. Anyway, this one time, you came up with a solution faster than his brilliant mind…
You turned your head toward him — after he stroked your hair you were very, very close to each other. The flame from the candle on the table reflected in his eyes, filling the area with the scent of cinnamon that had lingered for a while. When your face unexpectedly came just in front of him, he looked at you with a surprise and a gaze that he had never given you before. It was as if he were trying to stop himself from doing something, while at the same time, a voice in his ear incessantly urged him to go ahead.
You looked away to avoid doing something foolish. You could feel warmth on your neck and cheeks. Finally, you remembered what you wanted to ask.
"Spence, what’s your shoe size?"
5 years ago
 It all started when the rest of your team found out about Penelope and Morgan's Halloween tradition. Every year, the two of them held a movie marathon of the scariest films they could find, watching them until sunrise.
 "Why didn’t you invite any of us? I love watching horror movies with friends!" Prentiss exclaimed indignantly.
You were on board a private jet. You had been working with this team for only a few days —  in fact, this was your first trip with them to work in the field.
The prospect of solving the case had you feeling stressed, and you were also wondering if you would find common ground with your team. You lagged slightly behind, pretending to read a book while actually listening to all the conversations around you. You wanted to get to know everyone better. Someone sat down beside you, leaning in to read the title of your book.
 "Rebecca. Have you gotten to the part where it turns out Maxim killed his wife?"
You looked shocked at the second youngest member of the team. You had a serious problem with remembering names, so you only knew his last name. Reid was a tall man with longer hair, dressed in a vest with a shirt peeking out from underneath. Until now, you hadn't formed much of an opinion about him, but that was about to change — he had just spoiled the ending of the book for you.
“No, I haven’t gotten to this part! “
An older man in a black suit chuckled quietly to himself.
"Guys, listen up," said the brunette with bangs, wearing a tight red shirt. "It just came out that Morgan and Penelope have their own secret Halloween tradition."
The woman mentioned was present only on the laptop screen. She was working with you remotely and seemed really nice to you. 
"Sweetheart, we weren't trying to hide anything from you; it just happened that we didn’t mention it..."
"That’s exactly what hiding is," Reid added, giving you an apologetic look for spoiling the book.
"What do you say to all of us getting together this Halloween? The whole team?" asked a muscular man dressed in gray, sitting across from Prentiss with his elbow casually resting on the table. "With a special invitation for you, newbie."
Saying this, he winked at you. You were surprised, but still smiled. Are there better circumstances for getting to know your team than a party? Everyone around you approached this idea. 
a week later
You stared at your phone in fear after just ending the call. JJ said something came up and she wouldn’t be able to make it to the party. You knew her best out of the whole team and had hoped that with her there, you would feel more at ease. Most importantly, you were supposed to wear matching outfits. You realized your breath had quickened slightly. You weren't sure if anyone else besides you planned to dress up. After all, they were mostly older than you —  maybe they weren't into that anymore?
 Back in high school, you were the only one who showed up in costume, and you felt embarrassed the whole evening walking around in a zombie farmer outfit while all the other girls wore mini skirts and beautiful, subtle makeup. You didn’t want to go through that again, but making this costume had taken you a lot of time. Recently, you and JJ had been enchanted by the animated movie Corpse Bride, and you planned to dress up as the title character and her rival, Victoria. Since you loved dressing up for Halloween, you chose the more challenging costume. You bought a cheap white dress that you styled to look more tattered. You applied pale blue makeup and heavily contoured your cheekbones. You even managed to get a veil.
In fifteen minutes, you were supposed to be at Morgan's house. If you removed the makeup, you wouldn’t have time to do anything else. You contemplated what to do. Ultimately, you decided it would be a shame to waste your hard work, and soon you found yourself in the car, heading to the address you were given. As you parked, you felt stress start to take control of you.
You needed to sit in silence for a moment, so you turned off the engine and stared at the empty sidewalk in front of you. Morgan lived in a large house in a quiet neighborhood, where all the homes were spaced far enough apart to host small gatherings without bothering anyone.
Suddenly, someone appeared by the driver's window. You screamed in surprise, your thoughts racing back to all the cases when women were killed in their own cars. 
You quickly realized that it wasn't another UNSUB. That one wouldn’t have screamed alongside you.
“Damn it, Reid, you scared me!”
“You scared me too” he managed to say, placing a hand on his chest. He glanced toward the house. "Weird that Morgan hasn't come out to help yet."
“Maybe the music is too loud and he didn’t hear. There are quite a few cars. Did they invite that many people?” you wondered as you got out of the car. 
Reid glanced at your costume. He wasn’t dressed up at all, just wearing a plain dark gray blazer and a shirt.
"Is that some fashion trend, or are you dressed as a zombie bride?"
“Neither, actually,” you replied, feeling stressed about being the only one in costume. “It’s from the cartoon Corpse Bride.”
“I haven’t seen it,” he admitted as you both headed toward the entrance of the house.
“It’s a great animation,” you recommended. “You should check it out. Although, from what I’ve noticed, you prefer reading more.”
“Not entirely. I like movies too, but I rarely choose cartoons,” he said, ringing the doorbell.
“You don’t know what you’re missing,” you replied.
A very short girl you'd never seen before opened the door. She seemed slightly tipsy, confirming your suspicions that people from outside the team had also been invited.
"Oh, you dressed up! How cute!" she said, delighted to see you both, even though she didn’t know you. "Wait, I think I even know who you are. Emily and Victor from Corpse Bride?"
She pointed at the two of you, at your dress and his gray blazer. You exchanged glances, realizing she must have mistaken his usual clothes for a costume.
"No, we’re not…" Reid began to explain.
"Actually, I was supposed to match costumes with JJ…"
But she wasn’t listening. She let you in and shouted through the whole house,
"Look at their matching outfits!"
Everyone gathered around to see you, and you endured the whistles and applause with growing embarrassment.
Penelope appeared right beside you, placing her hands on your shoulders and inspecting your makeup closely. "Oh, sweetheart, you really went all out. This must have taken you ages."
"Which is more than I can say for you," joked Prentiss, holding a beer bottle and pointing it at Reid. "You decided to keep it a secret for a better effect, I assume?"
Reid tried once more to explain that it wasn’t intentional, but you stopped him with a nudge. He looked at you, puzzled.
"Let’s go get a drink," you suggested.
Not waiting for a response, you grabbed his wrist and pulled him along.
"I’m not going to be the only one in costume, so you’re going to stick with me and pretend we planned this all along."
He let out a surprised laugh, thinking you were joking at first.
"Wait, seriously? So… I’m Victor now?"
"Yes, you’re Victor, and you accidentally proposed to me. By the way, I’m dead."
"Okay," he blinked, processing the information. "I definitely need to watch that movie."
You spent almost the entire evening sticking close to each other. Without you by his side, Spencer looked like he wasn’t wearing a costume at all. And without Spencer next to you, you felt a bit awkward.
A few hours later, the two of you were sitting alone in the kitchen, drinking non-alcoholic cocktails and talking about… psychology. Not exactly a party topic, but somehow that’s where your conversation about favorite sodas had ended up.
“Next year, we have to do this again. I mean, plan a costume together. On purpose this time."
Spencer nodded.
"I think I even have an idea."
And that was how your tradition began.
now
He said Halloween is for kids. 
Starting from the beginning, everyone always asks how you met Travis. Well, your story has some potential for a romantic comedy — if only you were a bit more attractive and funnier to make it more watchable on screen. And maybe if there were some breathtaking plot twist. But real life has little in common with a romantic comedy, and you didn’t meet under any crazy circumstances. You only had potential. It happened during your rehabilitation.
Perhaps we need to go back a bit further. Six months ago, Emily passed away, and you weren’t even there for the funeral because, in the rescue attempt to free her from Doyle’s hands, you were shot. Seriously wounded. You spent two weeks in a coma. That might not seem like a long time, but when you woke up, it felt like years had passed. Everyone around you seemed so distant, changed, almost as if you’d suddenly appeared in an entirely different reality.
The following weeks were even more blurred, like rain hitting fiercely against the window with such frequency that the droplets slowly merged into a single cohesive stream. You weren't accepting visitors while in the hospital; something was wrong with you. Perhaps it was due to the grief and shock from Emily's passing, along with the trauma. You didn't want to return to that job; you were too afraid of the risks. Of dying yourself or losing someone from your team and having to relive it all over again. Fortunately, you quickly received an offer for a transfer. An office job, terribly boring, but there was something in that monotony that filled you with a sense of safety. You hated it, but you were afraid to engage in anything else.
Before you took the job, you had to go through rehabilitation. It was led by Travis, eleven years older than you, which stunned your older brother when you introduced them. “You’re dating a guy older than me?” he asked, shocked. They didn’t hit it off, but you didn’t worry too much about that. Everything in your life had changed, and being in a relationship with an older, more mature guy made you feel more stable. And since so many things had changed, why not go all in? You moved in with him. Just as you were starting to climb out of the pit, another tragedy struck. Mr. Cinnamon Roll was diagnosed with stomach cancer and passed away despite treatment.
Since that moment, you almost stopped talking to your old team. You still loved them — they were like family to you, but whenever faced with life's struggles, you felt that burning need for isolation. On the day Mr. Cinnamon Roll died, you received a message from Spencer, asking how you were doing and suggesting a meeting. You stared at your phone for hours, and ultimately replied to him only the next morning with a brief, "Sorry, I didn't notice you wrote." He responded just as briefly. He was also suffering due to the circumstances and probably didn't have the energy to chase after his friend who openly refused to give him any attention.
You pushed him away because you weren’t ready to confront what you were feeling. Something had happened between you during that Halloween party, shortly before Emily's death. After that, you acted as if nothing had occurred, but both of you knew that you needed to talk about what to do with your relationship. But before you had the chance, there was Doyle, your accident, then Travis, and it seemed that everything that had ever been between you was lost. A new agent, Ashley, joined the BAU. You knew her —  you were around the same age, and sometimes you caught yourself wondering if something might blossom between her and Reid.
You thought that if you accepted the loss of your previous life, it would be easier to move on. It was the opposite. Day by day, you felt more and more depressed, empty inside. This morning, you went into a café to buy coffee. While waiting for your order, you looked at the tiny pumpkins on the counter and realized it was Halloween—the holiday you used to love so much. This moved you, and for the first time in a long time, you felt a spark of life within you. You felt like you wanted to do something. Dress up as a character from a cheap horror movie, have a few drinks. Maybe even go trick-or-treating, hiding behind a mask like kids do. You did that with Spencer two years ago, but no one wanted to give that tall guy any candy.
You shared this idea with Travis.
And he said that Halloween is for kids. 
a year ago
“How the fuck I’m suppose to walk in these….”
As soon as you saw him in a black dress that reached mid-thigh (it should have been longer, but you bought it when you still assumed you would be the one wearing it), a short fur coat of the same color, and sunglasses, you nearly choked on your laughter. And when he added black heeled ankle boots and started cursing their practicality, you fell onto the couch, unable to stand on your legs any longer.
Mr. Cinnamon Roll watched his antics with curiosity.
“Run away, little one,” Spencer advised him. “Those heels are so sharp I might accidentally kill you.”
“Don’t exaggerate. I wear shoes with higher heels every day.”
“Your spine will thank you for it in ten years.”
“Alright, mom.”
The deadly shoes landed on the floor. You were planning to leave in an hour and a half, once you finished perfecting your costumes. Until then, Spencer had no intention of risking his life by parading around in them. He lay down on the couch next to you, the dress ungracefully riding up.
“Now it’s your turn to change,” he said, pointing to the Tyler Durden costume lying on the table. “And mine to laugh.”
“First, I wanted to do makeup.”
“Is that necessary?”
“Are you kidding? What kind of Marla Singer would it be without a bold smokey eye?”
“Fine by you,” he muttered, looking at the watch on his wrist. “One hour and thirty-three minutes. Will we make it?”
“Relax. Remember, for a better impression, we need to be a little late.”
You disappeared for a moment into your bathroom, only to return with a makeup bag in hand. You had bought a new eyeshadow palette specifically for this occasion. Tilting your head to the side, you looked at your friend, wondering in which position you would be most comfortable working on him.
“Okay, lean against the couch,” you instructed, feeling like a professional makeup artist. “And don’t look at me like I’m a mad scientist trying to perform some dangerous operation on you.”
“From my perspective, that’s exactly what it looks like. A mad scientist and a dangerous operation. Just don’t accidentally poke me in the eye.”
“God, Reid, I’m not going to do this with a knife…”
You stood in front of the couch, facing him. Following your instruction, he rested his head, but as soon as you tried to apply the first product on his eyelid, you felt that you weren’t doing it precisely. You sighed.
“It’s uncomfortable for me to work this way. I have a better idea. Lie down.”
Reid looked at you with raised eyebrows but obediently lay down on the couch. You sat on a free spot next to him, leaning over his face. You were glad he closed his eyes. It would be awkward to be this close and still have to endure his sharp gaze. Your hair brushed against his neck. A gentle smile appeared on his face as soon as the brush touched his skin.
“This is quite nice,” he said.
You didn’t respond, focused on turning him into a doppelgänger for Marla Singer. You would sooner die of embarrassment than admit it out loud, but you deliberately prolonged the entire process. You felt as if you were working on a painting. Additionally, you enjoyed the awareness of having him beneath you, so defenseless and completely unaware, that you wondered what it would be like to kiss him.
You would simply press your lips together to see what would happen. There was a possibility he would push you away, but even considering that, you were ready to do it. You didn’t even try to push those thoughts away. They had completely dominated your mind, and you were just observing them from the sidelines, wondering where they came from. Throughout your years of friendship, you had never experienced them. Or rather, you had experienced them so rarely that you didn’t consider them significant. After all, everyone sometimes feels like kissing their friend. The problem was that for quite some time, the only thing you had been thinking about was his lips on yours.
Spencer opened one eye. You felt as if he had caught you doing something wrong.
“What are you thinking about?” he asked, his voice slightly husky.
You brushed aside the one strand of his hair that had strayed onto his forehead.
“About one of my friends.”
“You look worried. Can I ask why thinking about this person makes you feel that way?”
You let out a quiet laugh. You wondered if he knew you were talking about him. He should have.
“I doubt you want to hear about it,” you replied evasively. However, after a moment, you broke down and added something more. “Do you ever feel like you want to do something stupid so badly that you feel like you're physically shaking, even though you know it’s wrong?”
He frowned slightly. You accidentally applied too much eyeshadow, licking the tip of your finger to wipe away the excess product from his skin.
“Can you give a specific example of such behavior?”
You shrugged.
“I don’t know. Kissing a friend, for example.”
He smiled gently.
“Well, in that case, yes. All the time.”
You exhaled through your nose, feeling a painful tightness in your chest. You didn’t know what was happening to you.
“Done,” you said, abruptly rising from the couch. “I need to change. We don’t have much time.”
“There’s still an hour and eighteen…”
You grabbed your costume from the table and hid in the bathroom, not hearing the end of his sentence.
one hour and eighteen minutes later
Usually, nighttime drives had a calming effect on you, but this time it was completely the opposite. You were in a small space with Spencer, with whom you had just had… let’s call it a complicated conversation. You felt every part of your body tense.
You hated yourself. You hated that you didn’t understand what you were feeling. You hated that you didn’t know what you wanted. You felt like banging your head against the steering wheel. Maybe the sound of the horn would bring you back to your senses.
Reid just stayed silent, inscrutable.
“I’m afraid we’ll be right on time,” he said after clearing his throat. “And you wanted to be a little late.”
“So what should I do now, drive around the city for the next ten minutes?” you asked, slightly irritably.
He shrugged stiffly.
“Or stop and wait. It’s a much more environmentally friendly option.”
In the end, you pulled up outside Morgan’s house, where the annual Halloween party was set to take place for the fifth year in a row. You sighed with nostalgia and turned off the engine. You might have been in the middle of an emotional crisis, but you still intended to win that contest. And that meant waiting out those ten minutes.
You adjusted the sleeves of your red leather jacket.
“Remember when we dressed up as Harry and Voldemort?” you asked suddenly. That had been your first intentional costume pairing.
Spencer let out a short laugh.
“For the next two days, I couldn’t wash off all that white paint,” he muttered, reaching into the black purse you had lent him. Spencer had been outraged that mini dresses had no pockets, leaving him with nowhere to keep his things. You frowned when you noticed he had taken out his wallet. From it, he pulled out a photo taken on that memorable day, showing the two of you standing in front of the fireplace at Morgan’s cabin. You had your arms around each other, Voldemort and Harry Potter.
“You carry our photo in your wallet?” you asked, touched, admiring the picture with delight.
Slightly embarrassed, he nodded.
“And not just ours,” he reached into his wallet again, this time pulling out a photo of Mr. Cinnamon Roll curled up on your lap. You leaned closer to Spencer to get a better look, almost forgetting about your earlier conversation.
You extended your hand, but instead of taking the photo, you just grabbed his hand. He squeezed it tightly and briefly kissed the back of it.
“It’s been ten minutes,” he announced, letting go of your hand. “We can go inside now…”
He trailed off as you suddenly grabbed a piece of his fur and pulled him as close as possible. You felt as if someone stronger had taken control of your body and finally did what you had wanted to do for a long time. You were kissing him.
At first, he froze as if spellbound, completely surrendering to the pressure of your lips. You pulled back a little, unsure if you should continue.
“Why did you stop?” he asked softly.
“I wasn’t sure if you liked it.”
He laughed right into your mouth and resumed the kiss in a hungry way.
“I wanted to do it earlier,” you admitted after a moment. His eyes were shining, and yours probably were too. “When I was putting on your makeup. You had your eyes closed, and it was all I could think about.”
His hand rested on your neck, his thumb gently drawing circles on your sensitive skin. You had your arms around his neck, entwined like strands of hair in a braid.
“Good thing you didn’t,” he said. You raised your eyebrows in surprise. “I’d venture to guess we wouldn’t have even made it to this party.”
“Don’t get too bold with your assumptions. I wouldn’t let such good costumes go to waste…”
He kissed you one more time, pulling you close by the chin. Okay, he was right. If you’d done this earlier, you’d probably still be at your apartment, entirely wrapped up in each other. In fact, you’d lost all interest in going to that part
You spent a good few minutes smiling at each other, foreheads touching. You felt the need to talk to him — to make sure this wasn’t just a release of the tension that had been building between you recently, but something more. Before you knew it, though, you were walking arm-in-arm toward Morgan’s house.
“This year, you’ve outdone yourselves,” he commented as he finally came out of his shock at seeing Spencer in heels. He, too, was in costume. For the past four years, it was almost impossible to find anyone there without one. You could say you were the ones who started the trend.
Without letting go of his hand, you encouraged him to spin around in a circle. All evening, you wondered if people noticed that something had changed between you or if they just assumed it was all part of the act. His hand almost never leaving your waist, your conversations with faces close together, the prolonged disappearance in the bathroom under the pretense of fixing his makeup.
“Have you thought about what we’ll dress up as next year?” he asked, pinning you against the upstairs wall, his hand slipped under the fabric of your loose shirt.
You looked into his eyes thoughtfully.
“I liked the idea of Mia and Vincent from Pulp Fiction.”
“Mia and Vincent. White shirts and fake blood. Don’t you think it’s a bit too simple? We should raise the bar each year.”
You rolled your eyes.
“So, what is your suggestion?”
now
 You lay in bed next to the sleeping Travis, staring at his bare back.
Every day, he started with a run around six in the morning, so he didn’t let you drag him anywhere in the evening, despite it being Friday. You tried to fall asleep, but you knew it was useless. You’d always been a night owl. Besides, it was Halloween—your favorite holiday, and for the first time in years, you were spending it with your head on the pillow at 10 p.m.
You sighed and quietly, so as not to wake him, went to the living room to watch some show on TV and maybe have some ice cream. Sitting on the couch, you constantly felt the urge to reach out and pet Mr. Cinnamon Roll, who used to keep watch by your side. Each time, it ended with you touching the cold leather of the couch instead. You buried your face in your hands, stretching the skin on your cheeks.
You couldn’t live in this emptiness any longer.
It happened so suddenly. One moment, you were curled up on the couch, and the next, you were slipping back into the bedroom to grab one of Travis’s plain white shirts from the closet. Just regular black jeans. The only thing missing was fake blood, but you decided you’d just be a more polite version of Mia.
Your heart felt like it was about to burst from your chest as you drove. Doubts crept in, and the absurdity of your behavior caught up with you. It was highly likely that your previous team had stopped organizing those events due to circumstances. And even if they were still happening, why would you feel invited? You had limited your contact with them, almost cutting it off in recent months.
Your breath was painful as you pressed your hand against your side, where a scar from a gunshot wound marked your skin. The red light of the traffic signal turned into the flashing lights of an ambulance. You were inside, bleeding, the whole world blurring around you.
You tried to calm yourself so as not to accidentally cause an accident. However, that tragic feeling didn’t leave you even when you found yourself there again. For the fifth year in a row, on Halloween night, at Morgan’s doorstep.
Derek opened the door for you, wearing a plain t-shirt. No music was coming from inside, and no cars were gathering around. He blinked in surprise at the sight of you.
You greeted him sadly, ready to throw out some excuse, though none came to mind. You had shown up unannounced, unwelcome, when he was probably spending the evening at home working or resting. A flush of embarrassment covered your cheeks.
Before either of you could say anything more, Penelope appeared behind him. She wore a headband adorned with little pumpkin decorations.
“Morgan, we have a serious problem with picking a movie because Hotch…”
She stopped, stunned by your presence. But a moment later, she shouted your name and swept you into her embrace.
“Oh, why didn’t anyone tell me you were coming!”
Over her shoulder, you could see Derek’s gentle smile.
“We went back to basics, and instead of throwing a party, we’re just watching movies,” he explained, eyeing you closely. “But costumes are always welcome. You’re not even the only one who thought to dress up.”
Both of them pulled you into the living room, where the rest of the team was arguing about which movie to watch. As all eyes turned to you, you felt like someone had forcefully shoved you onto a stage and blinded you with a spotlight aimed directly at you. Lost, you didn’t know what to say.
Then your gaze landed on that one person sitting alone in an armchair. Dressed in an identical white shirt and a black blazer draped over the arm of the chair.
You managed to smile at your Vincent.
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emilytakesphoto · 8 months ago
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train stations (with trains in them)
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drdemonprince · 3 months ago
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Yo, I just got $144 from that Juul class action lawsuit settlement in spite of having never purchased a Juul product in my life. Thank you, Dr. Price, for giving me the inspiration and courage to defraud corporations for fun and profit!
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I just got $151 today in the Juul lawsuit!
Also, Tubi users!! you can get some money right now! Just fill this shit out:
Curious to learn more about filling out class action lawsuit claims for fun and profit? Read here:
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legallypunkin · 5 months ago
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FULL CLASSPECT SPRITE SHEET
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Hey guys, here’s some Homestuck sprite bases I finished a while back that you might find use with!! All 144 main classpects are here for your spriting needs, with the bases taken from the wiki. This should be uploading as a PNG, though things have been wacky so who knows haha. These are free to use, no credit needed, because I really just slapped the colors and logos on xD
UPDATE: here is a link to the master classes!!
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aortaobservatory · 1 year ago
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Vriska jumpscare. Posting this separately for a bulk ask.
The analysis written below is my own writing, analysis, and thoughts. The statements are my own analysis, but they may function as a “fill in the blank” statement for you to create your own interpretation of the classpect as you please.
-aortaObservatory
Thief of [Light]:
Allocate - Too Little Value towards Light
A player who craves [Knowledge and Evaluation] due to a lack of it, and thus actively takes it from others, hoarding [Insight and Meaning] to benefit themself and/or their circumstances
A Thief of Light lacks knowledge and evaluation in their life, resulting in a fierce desire to possess such things for themself and leading to them not understanding the value of the insights they gain and what that means, as they take knowledge and the evaluations of others from others and hoard it all to themself for their own benefit.
Thieves take their aspect, either craving it fiercely from their lack of it in their lives or simply because they like it, stealing and hoarding it all for themselves and their own personal benefit. Despite their outward confidence with their aspect, they often take it at face-value without learning of its true value, being unsatisfied with how much of their aspect they hoard and craving more and more. Their challenge is to focus less on attaining and more on learning about the value their aspect, as well as to let others have their aspect and learning why it is important to others.
Inverse Classpect Analysis of Thief
Thief of Light: Light (Knowledge, Evaluation, Insight, Meaning) is acted upon. Too little value towards aspect gives means to allocate it away from others, taking it for care of the self.
Inverse: Page of Void
Void (Secrecy, Unknown, Potential, Possibilities) passively utilizes itself in the Thief as they actively undervalue Light (Knowledge, Evaluation, Insight, Meaning) to take it.
Skill of Void (Secrecy, Unknown, Potential, Possibilities) is used as the Thief undervalues Light (Knowledge, Evaluation, Insight, Meaning) to take it.
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system-to-the-madness · 11 months ago
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Strawberry Daifuku - Sugawara Kōshi x Reader
Pairing: Sugawara Kōshi x fem!Reader AU: college!AU Genre: hurt/comfort Word Count: 3 144 Summary: Suga plans to confess to you the day before Valentine’s Day, but the conversation takes a different turn A/N: I know, usually chocolates are given on Valentine’s Day, not Daifuku (filled mochi), but I made some today for the first time so…
Masterlist
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Sugawara Kōshi was not entirely sure why he felt like a complete fool, standing in front of your door, and yet hesitating to ring. It was the thirteenth of February, just one day before Valentine’s Day, and while he knew that on Valentine’s Day the girls were supposed to confess, he felt like he actually couldn’t stand bottling up his feelings even one day more. Especially when he was placing his bets on you confessing first.
Would he even have a chance with you?
It was weird, he had known you for three years already, having met you at the entrance exams to the university. You had talked then, and when you had bumped into one another at the orientation a few months later, it felt like you both had chosen the other as your ride-or-die. After that it hadn’t taken Sugawara long to fall for you. It had crept in on him since day one, he realized, and the following years he had tried his best to keep his feelings in check.
But what were you feeling for him? He wasn’t sure.
He knew you considered him as one of your closest friends, so there was definitely the risk of losing this friendship if he confessed and you didn’t reciprocate his feelings. But then again, you were both finished with your third year of university. The next year would barely consist of classes, instead you’d both focus on your part-time jobs. You already had a job-offer lined up for after graduation, and Sugawara was aiming to join the masters-degree in one year before starting to work as a teacher. That meant, in the next year you’d both be busy, you’d both drift apart. You might never again be as close to each other as right now, so this felt like the last possible moment to tell you the truth.
He couldn’t wait for tomorrow and the chance that maybe you would confess. Not that he thought you might. You didn’t exactly act like you were interested in him in that way.
Admittedly, he also didn’t know what you acted like when you were interested in someone. In the three years of your friendship, he had never once seen you express any sort of interest in anyone. Which, as foolish as it was, had always given him the hope, that he might have a chance to worm himself into your heart after all.
The person brushing past him in the stairwell on their way downstairs tore him out of his thoughts. Still feeling incredibly foolish, he exhaled with a sigh and pressed the doorbell. The ringing could be heard through the door, and a moment later the sound of something cluttering and muffled swearing.
Suga hid his giggle, and quickly straightened his face when he heard steps approaching the door. A moment later it swung open, revealing you, dressed in a pair of sweatpants, an oversized shirt and an apron. You only took a quick look at Suga’s face before you already turned around again.
“Come in,” you greeted, “I have something on the stove.” Aaaand you were gone again.
Quickly Suga pushed his foot into the closing door, stopping it from falling into the lock. Mumbling a quiet ‘Ojamashimasu’ as he stepped into your flat, he toed of his shoes in the genkan and followed you into the kitchen, just in time to see you pull a pot from the stovetop, and pouring the white, liquid content into a bowl.
“Cooking,” he asked, stepping closer to see what you were making.
“Uhm, not really. Making chocolates,” you corrected, taking a whisk, and beginning to stir. That was when Suga spied the carton of cream and the empty chocolate bar wrappers on the counter.
“Oh, for tomorrow?” He hadn’t imagined bringing up the topic so quickly.
“What’s tomorrow?” Or not.
“Valentine’s Day…”
“Oh, no,” you shook your head, mixing the cream with the melting chocolate. “You know me, I stopped giving away Valentine’s Day chocolates after middle school.”
“I just thought, you know, making chocolates on the day before Valentine’s…” Suga trailed of. “Maybe there’s someone you want to confess to.”
You chuckled amused. “I wouldn’t confess to someone just because it’s Valentine’s Day. The chances of getting rejected are just as high as every other day of the year.”
“Wait, you’ve never tried confessing to someone on Valentine’s Day?” So his chances of getting a confession from you tomorrow had never existed anyway. But also, it suddenly made him doubt that it might be a good idea to confess to you now.
“No,” you admitted, stirring the chocolate-cream mix a little harder. “I wouldn’t confess to someone unless I were fairly certain they’d reciprocate my feelings… Besides, why should I confess to someone, if they’ve can’t be bothered to confess to me any other day of the year? Apparently, they’re not interested enough in me, for me to make the effort of confessing on that one special day. If I want to confess, I might do it as well on any other day. And besides, I’ve never seen the sense in confessing just to confess. And it makes things awkward, especially if it happens between friends.”
Suga felt his heart dropping. Had you figured out his feelings for you? Was this your way of saying ‘Keep that confession and let’s pretend everything’s back to normal’?
“I think most people who confess, knowing their feelings aren’t reciprocated, do so for closure,” Suga said, wondering why his voice suddenly sounded so sharp.
You seemed to have noticed his change in tone, too, looking up from the bowl you had kept stirring.
“Yeah, of course. And if that works for them, that’s cool. Doesn’t mean it would work for me.”
Suga blinked. He felt like he had been rejected even without having confessed anything yet.
“Sooo, you’re just making chocolates for fun? Or as friendship-chocolates?”
“For fun, I doubt anyone would want to eat my chocolates,” you laughed, as if trying to dispense the suddenly tense atmosphere.
“I would,” Suga shrugged, making you look up again.
“Is that your way of saying after three years you’re finally expecting chocolates on Valentine’s Day from me,” you laughed again, raising your eyebrows at him teasingly.
“Well, not expecting,” Suga defended, making you laugh even more. Oh, how he loved that sound. “Just… I wouldn’t complain.”
“Yeah, you and sweets,” you laughed. “But friendship-chocolates are usually store-bought, right? Wouldn’t it be weird to give you homemade ones?”
“I don’t care, chocolate is chocolate,” Suga mumbled, but he couldn’t deny that getting to eat something you had made would mean more to him than getting something he could as well have bought for himself in the store. “I mean, all you have to do is say ‘Those are friendship-chocolates’ and the other person knows what’s going on, right?”
“I guess so,” you agreed, grabbing the bowl you had been stirring the chocolate in, and emptying the contents into a prepared form, laid out with baking paper. “Aw man, this is not turning out nice.”
Suga couldn’t help the giggle that slipped over his lips as he watched you try to smooth down the surface of the chocolate in the baking tray, but it kept sticking to the knife you were using, creating waves, and refusing to smooth down.
“Oh, by the way, why did you drop by?”
Right, there had been a very specific reason. When he had stepped into your small flat, he had been very certain he would finally have the courage to confess his feelings for you. But now…?
The conversation of the past minutes had taken any confidence he had had. Not only was he more convinced than ever that you didn’t like him back, but you had also made it quite clear, that you would think it would make things awkward if someone confessed to you, who you didn’t feel the same way about. And suddenly he felt like it would be best to lie, as usual, while also trying to make his escape as quickly as possible.
“Oh, no reason really,” he answered, but there was one thought in the back of his mind that he just couldn’t get rid of. “Do you really think, someone who truly likes you, wouldn’t confess just because they can’t be bothered?”
“Well, no, of course not,” you sighed, still fighting a silent battle with the chocolate. “It takes tremendous amounts of courage to confess. And perhaps the person thinks just like me, that it’s not worth confessing if they’re not sure I like them. But if they aren’t sure I like them, it’s probably because I don’t. Because I’m really bad at hiding when I like someone, so if I did, they probably would have noticed very quickly. Why do you ask?”
Giving up the fight with the chocolate, you stood up straight, giving Suga a long look as if you expected him to say something. It felt like the way you were looking at him caused something inside of him to tense, all these feelings he had buried deep inside his chest for so long.
Couldn’t you avert your gaze? It was driving him crazy, made him feel like you were reading deep in his soul, laying bare all his well-kept secrets. And then it was too much. Just a minute ago he had decided against telling you the real reason for his visit, and now-
“The real reason I came here today was to tell you that I’ve been in love with you for the past three years.” The words came over his lips so quickly and fluently, he didn’t even know how the phrase had formed in his mind, and before he could quite register the surprised expression in your eyes, or the way your mouth dropped into a tiny “o”, or the way your breath hitched, he continued. “I know you think it will make things awkward, and it probably will. But I owe it to myself to be honest about the way I feel, and I’ve lied to myself for long enough, telling myself it’s okay to just have you as a friend until you eventually fall in love with someone and get together with them. But the truth is, I couldn’t stand that pain. I still value as a friend, but until I’ve dealt with these feelings, it wouldn’t be fair, not to either of us, to continue like this. Sorry.”
Not giving you a chance to respond, not wanting to hear those fateful words of ‘I’m sorry, but I don’t feel that way about you’, he quickly turned around, slipped into his shoes, not bothering to put them on properly, and escaped through the front door. It really felt like an escape, out of that small room of yours that smelled so nicely of chocolate and the laundry detergent you used and your shampoo. Out of that room that seemed to close in on him with every second that the realization increased that he’d never get to call himself yours. Just out of that room. And away from you.
The door was already falling into it’s lock when you called for him, your voice carrying something akin to panic, but Suga ignored you, just sprinted down the steps, grabbed his bike and made sure he got home as quickly as possible, hoping nobody would see his quivering lip or the tears on his cheeks.
-
Suga tried to call Daichi at last half a dozen times before he turned off his phone, unable to see your name appearing on the screen again and again as you tried calling him. Daichi was probably still at work, so he couldn’t answer, Suga reminded himself, as he buried himself in the blankets on his bed, turning on some anime he had watched over the past few weeks. Outside it had gotten dark quickly after he had returned home, and eventually he had fallen asleep to the noise of the show still running on the small screen of his laptop.
The next morning was, much to Suga’s dismay, bright and sunny. The weather had quickly taken a warm turn after the cold of January, plum blossoms already blooming on the trees he could see from the window in his dorm. Yesterday around this time, he had still imagined what it would be like to take you out for a date today. Nothing grand, maybe buy some cake at the small bakery at the corner, or at the convenience store, take a blanket and sit in the sun at the side of the river. But now the good weather did nothing but annoy him, so he pulled the curtains closed and tried to ignore the world outside. Which worked quite well, until the doorbell rang around noon. Wondering whether he had forgotten about an online order he had made, he got up and opened the door, only to come face to face with you.
You were nervous, he could tell that from even just a glance. Yesterday he had not only been disappointed and sad, but also angry, more at himself than anyone else. But now, with a bit of distance to his outbreak the day before, it was easier to stay calm.
“Happy Valentine’s,” you smiled shyly, avoiding his eyes, as you held out a small box to him. It was one of those cute Valentine’s Day paper boxes he had seen in the 100yen shop for the past weeks.
“Uhm…,” awkwardly Suga stood in the door, before hesitantly taking the box from you. “Wanna come in?”
“Are you sure?”
It felt like a stab to the heart. How had he managed to make you feel anything but welcome in his home in the span of a few minutes yesterday afternoon?
“Yeah, I mean…”
He stepped aside, holding the door open for you. You mumbled the usual greeting as you took off your shoes and stepped into the small, single room apartment.
“I tried making strawberry Daifuku. Emphasis on tried,” you explained, standing around a little helplessly. Suga motioned for you to sit down on one of the cushions of his small table on the floor. “I couldn’t find any red bean paste though, so I made them with chocolate cream.”
“You made them yourself,” Suga wondered, placing the small box on the table, and fetching two plates from the shelf above the sink.
“They’re for valentine’s day after all. So, I thought I might as well put in some effort. They’re kind of ugly though, just saying. Well, not ugly, they just look… authentically handmade.”
Suga giggled at your comment, placing the plates down on the table and fetching a bottle of milk tea and two classes.
“I thought you weren’t in the habit of handing out friendship-chocolates,” he teased. Sure, it kind of hurt, knowing you had rejected him yesterday, although technically you had never phrased it. He was just infinitely glad, that he hadn’t completely destroyed your friendship. “Or friendship-Daifuku, I guess.”
“No, I’m not,” you answered, and the suddenly tense tone made Suga freeze mid-motion, making him look up at you. “Those are not friendship-chocolates.”
“What?”
“They’re just… ordinary Valentine’s Day chocolates. The kind you give to the person you like, to confess to them. Because that’s what I’m here for. To tell you that I like you and have liked you a lot for a long time and- yeah. That’s why I’m here anyway.” You exhaled shakily, still not looking up at Suga, who stood like frozen half-way between the fridge and the table you were seated at.
He blinked a few times, trying to make your words make sense in his head. You liked him?
“Why didn’t you just say that yesterday,” he asked the first thought that popped into his mind.
“I tried,” you defended, finally looking up at him, and could see how close you were to bursting into tears. “I tried, but you just ran away and then wouldn’t answer my calls! And I wasn’t sure if you wanted to see me after that…”
Suga swallowed thickly, walking the rest of the way over to you, crouching down besides you and placing the glasses down.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, brushing the back of his fingers over your cheek. “I’m sorry for being such an idiot and confessing in such an undignified manner. And then running away before giving you the chance to answer. I messed up big time.”
“It’s okay-”
“It’s not. It’s really not. But unfortunately, I can’t change how much of an idiot I was in the past, so let me make it up to you? We can go for a walk, take the tea and the Daifuku, sit in the park for a bit and talk? If you’d like, that is.”
You took a deep breath and nodded, a smile finally tucking at your lips.
“Sounds like a date,” you teased, making his heart skip a beat.
“I was hoping for it to be one,” Suga grinned, standing back up.
He already knew exactly which spot in the park he wanted to take you to. Not the one underneath the plum blossoms. The grass there was in the shade, and without the sun it wouldn’t be warm enough for the thin jacket you were wearing. Instead, he’d take you to the other side of the river, that was in full early spring sun, from where you’d have a perfect view on the blossoms. And when you had eaten the treats which you had made and drunk the tea he would bring, he’d tell you again how much he liked you. Properly this time, without the annoyance and impatience in his voice, only with affection and warmth. Because you deserved nothing less than that.
Holding his hand out to you, he helped you off the floor, but didn’t let go immediately. Instead, he brought your hand up to his lips, placing a soft, lingering kiss on your knuckles that made both of your cheeks heat up.
When he pulled away, he quickly busied himself with throwing on a cardigan and pushing the bottle of milk tea he was still holding into one of the pockets before he grabbed the box of treats you had made for him and held his other hand out for you again. After a moment’s hesitation, you placed your own in his, watching as he closed his fingers around yours gently.
“Let’s go,” he smiled, guiding you out of the apartment, locking the door behind you. As he was walking down the stairs, the first box of sweets he had ever gotten for a Valentine’s Day in one hand, your hand in the other, he couldn’t wait to turn the rest of the day into the best first date either of you would have ever been able to imagine.
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