#Childhood Love
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Miss you, darling. Miss you so much. I hurt you so much when I was hurting, and it was the same from you to me. I hope you're doing well and I hope you don't ever get near me. I'm sorry for resenting you
#web weaving#web weave#webweaving#on grief#on love#childhood grief#childhood love#queer love#childish#so childish
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Ooooooh my lil babies! I love so much the fact that he's always looking at Anya🥹😍
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Draco had looked at him and wondered if it was worth growing up and meeting new people if he would never love any of them as much as he loved Harry.
When We Were Angels || Drarry - Orphanage AU
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Will You Remember?
inspired by the song: Will You Remember? by The Cranberries
Childhood memories, mentions of reader being female and in a dress, childhood crushes but they’re stupidly oblivious.
TW: MENTIONS OF KINICH’S CHILDHOOD (i.e. alcohol abuse, child abuse, child abandonment & death)
Im writing this at like 02:00 so please spare me ☹️ I also don’t know where the hell this even goes i was kinda just writing to write so uhm..!
<3 Seeing you, again. For the first time in what he can only assume must have been years. Of course he still remembers you. But why..?
First Meeting
The two of you had first met as children. Kinich had a regrettably bad childhood.
The constant beatings, berating, arguing, was something he had grown all too accustomed to.
Still, he was only human. A child at that. There were times where after his mother had left, and his father was gone, that he’d go out into the forest to gain a sense of self.
The forest acting as a fortress for him, solitude from the outside world.
When he saw the glimpse of someone in his fortress, he was immediately on the ready, hyper aware.
Hiding and peeking around trees, only to see a sniffling girl adorned in a dress. Her hair had looked rather messy, and there were small scrapes littered around her knees and elbows.
She had obviously looked as if she had fell, probably got lost too.
After finding that the person who had invaded his space was indeed no threat, he approached her. Although, not having much ‘people skills,’ he came off rather harsh.
“Who are you.”
This only made the young girl distress even farther, a sigh escaping him.
How was he supposed to even approach this?? Was everyone this much of a crybaby?
Young Kinich, trying his hardest to soften the tone of his voice and seem more approachable, copying the demeanor of his mother whenever she used care for him.
“..Are you okay..??”
That definitely seemed to go better, in his opinion, as the girl didn’t immediately start sobbing more, but rather managed to choke out the words..
“I want to go home.”
..Great. That gave him so much information.
He, and all his little child wisdom, replied:
“Oh. Where?”
Kinich had just asked a simple question, but to you, it was so complicated.
You didn’t know where you were, who this strange boy was?
All you knew was that: you were hurting, you wanted to go home because you missed your parents.
Seeing that his question didn’t get him very far, he wordlessly left to go back to his house, planning on grabbing bandaids for you.
He came back, half surprised to see you in the same spot you were; not even moved an inch. This time however, you weren’t crying as much, all that were heard were now small sniffles as you rubbed your eyes.
He wrapped his hand over yours and drags you over to a tree nearby that you could sit under.
Once he has you sat down he pulls out the small bandaids from his pocket and fumbles to open them, putting them on the small cuts you had.
Little you had no idea what to think. First this boy seemed harsh, or rather intimidating? but now here he was knelt on the ground next to you patching you up.
As he did so, all you could do was look at him.
“Will you remember me?” You asked rather abruptly.
It caught him very off guard, it was a rather random question. He gave no reply.
Once he had finished he once again, wordlessly walked away, but this time farther into the forest. He stopped at a couple steps before looking back at you.
You perked up at the fact that he stopped this time. Taking advantage of the boy who provided help was still within eye shot, you chased after him.
He’d continue to walk, but whenever you’d fall a little too far behind, he’d stop, and wait. Then he’d continue on again.
Eventually this had led you back to the entrance of the village you lived in. You started to sprint towards it, thinking that you had made it back by pure luck.
Second Meeting
The second time you had met as kids, was when Kinich had to go to the market. His father was now dead, and he now had to find his way around life, as if he wasn’t beforehand.
His father’s absence of gambling had definitely made it easier to manage mora.
But just because he now had mora, he was still bargaining ever stall he could.
“Now i’m sure that we could get a fair price on this..”
Kinich suggested to the stall owner, but just then out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a familiar figure..
He could t quite place from where though.. Her hair was the first thing he had noticed.
‘it’s styled nicely’ he thought.
As you turned and he was able to see your face, he then remembered where you had looked so familiar from.
You were that girl he had helped a couple years back… but why does he remember you so specifically.?
You held flowers in your hands that day, a bouquet of peonies.
You walked up to the stall he was at to briefly talk with the owner, who was more than glad to help you rather than Kinich.
He would often steal small glances in your way as you stood next to him reciting your order to the owner, who obliged.
As the owner grabbed the requested items you had caught one of his looks he thought was sly, and waved to him.
He managed a small wave back, but that was about it. He didn’t know how he was supposed to interact with you. It’s not like he knew you all well.
But something about your bright smile made his stomach feel weird. He wasn’t too sure what it was, but it was very unpleasant.
As you took your things from the owner and payed you spared him another wave.
“Goodbye.!”
From then on,
he would always see you around the area, whether you be completing commissions for the adventurers guild, grabbing supplies, or simply wandering around.
It seemed as if you were now everywhere.
Everywhere he’d look, you were there.
He tried not to dwell on it, but his eyes would always linger on you. He told himself it’s because he wanted to “keep the people safe.”
At some point he’d sub-consciously look for you, brushing it off once again as ‘keeping people safe.’ He was oblivious to the meaning of the feeling he’d get in his stomach anytime you’d smile or wave at him.
‘Is this what people meant by butterflies in your stomach?’ He pondered.
At one point or another, you both had run into one another while doing a commission.
He had been looking for a missing Saurian. Presumably the one you were currently knelt down by that was injured.
“Oh! Kinich! That’s your name.. right?” You asked nervously, you had heard of him from other villagers, it also helps that you’ve seen him around a lot.
“Yes. That’s me.” He replied with his usual monotone voice. It made it hard for you to get a read on what he wanted.
“Is there something that brings you over here..?” You questioned as you grab bandage wrap from your satchel.
You wanted to hurry and attend to the Saurian’s wounds before they got infected.
“I’m looking for a missing Saurian. I believe that is the one i’m looking for.” He nods his head at the Saurian you had currently been taking care of.
“Well, unless you’re looking for a Mrs. June’s missing Saurian, then you have the wrong one.”
“…that’s exactly who i’m looking for.”
There was a short moment of silence.
“…you’ve got to be joking.” You deadpanned.
Turns out the woman recruited more than one person for the commission..
You sigh as you pick the baby Saurian up, stand up and walk over to Kinich.
“Hold your arms out.”
He hesitates, before slowly holding his arms out.
As he does you hand him the baby Saurian.
“Get the poor thing back to Mrs. Jones, she’s probably worried sick.” You softly smiled at the baby.
“You should come with so you can collect part of the pay.” Kinich inquired, seeing as you had done part of the work, it was only fair you had also gained some reward for it.
You waved your hand as you walked opposite direction of the village.
“Take my part of the payment as an exchange for when you helped me back then, or something..”
Ah. You still do remember that. He wasn’t the only one. He remembers that event pretty well too.
You pause for a bit, not turning around to face him.
“..Do you remember that..?”
Of course he does.
He remembers your messed up hair.
He remembers your beautiful, but dirtied, and tattered dress.
He remembers how scared you looked.
“I do.”
Just as you.
You had remembered his beautiful eyes.
You had remembered his blunt, but comforting words.
You had remember how he had patched you up.
“I always remembered you.”
#genshin impact#fluff#kinich#kinich x reader#natlan#help guys#childhood love#malipo kinich#kinich x y/n#kinich x you#genshin natlan#fem reader#you remember#memories#idk what else to tag#pining#just random things#i don’t know#i don’t know what i’m doing#genshin x you#genshin x reader#genshin kinich#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact x you#saturnitiez
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Douzième Fille
12th girl
××《☆》××
××《☆》××
Years have gone by. It's now 1971. You've peaked in your career. You've become well known. But what happens when an all too familiar face returns, now more drawn to you?
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Joseph Descamps x Reader
Warnings: steamy ASFF???, angst, swearing, alcohol consumption, shlut shaming (fuck that old man), implied smut in the end (i didn't write smut yall im nervous)
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Chapter nine: You belong to me
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You and Joseph called consistently. Phone bills got higher, but both of you could care less. Both of you sent letters, pictures, and postcards like you promised.
Joseph often sent you pictures of him and George. He sent you postcards from Italy, Germany, and some cities in France.
You often send pictures of yourself, Callum, and photoshoots. You sent him postcards from Milan, New York, Copenhagen, and more. Mostly fashion capitals in the world.
Every letter you'd send each other would contain your days, food you tried, people you met, places you've been. But in the end of each one, there'd be the same sentence.
"I love you. See you soon."
It always said that.
Years pass, the calls get less consistent, the letters talking about your days now talk about your weeks, then they start talking about your months.
You talk about college now, parties you've been invited to, alcohol you tried.
Less and less postcards. Only three to five would come in a year now, the only thing written in them is the place they've been to.
Seven years have passed. It's 1971 now. You're 23 years old. The phone ringings have stopped. The letter boxes are empty.
Joseph was now merely a memory. Something you've locked inside you. He's beginning to collect dust.
You write in your notebook about your day. You sit on your matress, only an underwear on and some sheer shirt. Your hair is up in a messy clip, bangs blown on your forehead.
Safe to say you're famous. You've been in countless magazines, influencing famous celebrities. For example, Jane Birkin with your full bangs. You actually have her number. It's in the room... somewhere.
Life in Paris has been... alright, you could say. Sure, it smells like piss, and sure, it's filled with rude people, but you grew up here, so might as well accept it.
Callum's been a big help. He's a famous photographer and car enthusiast now. He's done almost all of your photoshoots. There were some rumours that developed about you two being an item, but you quickly shut that down.
A knock is heard on your flat's front door. Callum walks in, a paper bag in hand, and a lit cigarette between his lips.
"Pretty girl," a nickname he never seemed to want to let go, "your wine is here."
You get up from your place, strutting down some steps and kissing Callum's cheek in greeting. You head to the bag placed on the kitchen counter.
"Fuck yes. Thank you, Callum. You're an angel." I place them in a gift bag, saving them for a future event.
In three days' time, a gala was to happen. It would be filled top to bottom with riches, designer clothes and items, jewels, and anything else that screams luxury. And what you're most excited about is the fact that it's a masquerade.
You, for one, were invited to this gala. The people who were invited are sort of a VIP. Only close friends of the host would be there, and knowing the host, they were luxurious as well.
Your dress was ready. Your gift was ready. Everything was ready. Even your plus one, who is very obviously Callum, was ready. Everything would be perfect.
But you were nervous. Something deep inside your gut was telling you something would happen, and you couldn't tell whether it was a bad sign or a good one. You were hoping for the latter.
It crawled through your skin. You weren't one to get nervous, especially after all the exposure to the media in the past couple of years. So this wasn't exactly normal.
Your heart was exhilarated. Your mind was all over the place. What if you didn't look your best? This was a question you haven't asked yourself in a long while. You've been so self-assured, but what changed it now? That gut feeling sucked.
You take your mind off it. You'd rather talk about your plans for that evening.
The dress you, Callum, and your stylist picked was an archive of Audrey Hepburn's 1956 film Funny Face. It was fluffy around the bottom, the end cutting off in the middle of your calf. It was off shoulder, drop waist, coloured white with accents of pink and blue for the flowers imprinted.
Some things to add on were long white silk gloves, your mask that covered anything but your eyes, along with a pair of white kitten heels, pearl earrings, and hair pieces. It reminded you of when you were young. You, in high school with your puffy skirts, pearl jewellery, and kitten heels.
There was something bugging you. Something you're missing. It was a nostalgic memory. It's something you were trying to figure out, but before you could, Callum's arm wraps around your shoulders.
"You alright, pretty girl?" He asked, worry etched in his tone.
You simply smile at him. "Yup. All good."
××《☆》××
You were riding around Paris in your vespa, the wind blowing through your hair and messing it up. It was an hour before midnight, the air colder, and the streets lit up with lights.
You wanted some air. Something about what happened earlier made your mind jumble over what it could've been. You needed to stop it from running around. It would've kept you up all night.
Your coat was on, keeping you warm. You had borrowed it from Callum, using the excuse of the fact that it was bigger, meaning it would keep you from the cold. Which was true.
He barely even used it anyway. It didn't even smell like him. Callum smelt like new cars, cigarettes, and hair gel. This coat wasn't too far, but it wasn't that close. It smelt like cigarettes, yes, but also expensive cologne. Callum doesn't wear that type of cologne.
It got your mind running again. You roll your eyes to yourself. You thought this would help. You speed your Vespa up, making it around l'Arc de Triomphe, turning to a road and going straight ahead.
The wind blew harsher, your nose getting irritated from the cold. You guess Callum's coat wasn't enough. You make some turns again till you get to Pont d'léna, now making you ride face to face with the sparkling Eiffel Tower. You got here in time for it.
Your awe for the tower never really faded even after seeing it almost every day for the past several years. Many people wish to see it for the first time again, but you, it will always feel like the first time.
You turn your head back to the road when you go right, on your way back to your flat. Your neck hurts a bit from craning it to the tower, but most of the time, it's worth it.
Again, you feel nostalgic. There's a tall figure standing on the side of the road looking up at the tower. His hair was messy, so as yours, and he was smoking a cigarette. He had something wrapped around his head. You couldn't quite focus on what he looked like exactly from the speed you were going.
You turn your head to the road again. What was that? It was probably a man you've seen around the streets, or somebody you worked with. You shrug it off and continue your ride home.
××《☆》××
It was the morning of the gala. It would start somewhere around six in the evening for dinner. You woke up early for the day.
You're outside a café with Callum, sipping on piping hot coffee and eating your pastries. Every once in a while, a flash is seen in the corner of your eye. Fans or paparazzi, you pay it no mind.
"Is there anything else we need to do or get before we prep for the gala?" You say, putting your cup down gently onto its plate.
"Nope. You seem a lot more nervous than usual. Is there something you wanna change up?" Callum asks, taking a puff out of his cigarette. You shake your head.
"Yeah, I don't know. I've been feeling it since yesterday. There's just... I think something's gonna happen. Something big." You shrug, crossing your arms and leaning on the table. Callum nods, leaning forward too, mirroring you.
"Ah, well, is it good or bad?" He questions, butting of his cigarette. You think for a while, reminiscing on the feeling.
"Actually, it might be good. That's why I'm nervous, you know? I don't want anything to get messed up. Because if something bad were to happen, well..." I shrug, hissing. Callum chuckles.
"Well, alright. We'll double-check everything so it goes smoothly for you, pretty girl." He pats your arm, reassuring you. You grab a hold of his hand, squeezing it and saying "Thank you."
It was afternoon now. You began to prepare for the gala. Your team came in a few minutes ago, and they begin working on you. You're sitting in your chair with your makeup artist fixing you up when the phone rings.
"Callum, can you get that, please?" I shout towards him. He comes out of the kitchen and into the living room we were in. He picks the phone up. You had a clear vision of everything. He leans against the wall, greeting the caller.
Then, his face shifts. It morphs into something you can't read, but Callum seems to hold in a smile. When he notices you looking at him, he turns his back towards you. Instead of speaking in a normal volume, he began to whisper.
What the fuck was that? Who could the caller be? It's probably one of his hookups, for sure. You let it slide. You'll ask about it after.
When Callum hangs up, you immediately call after him.
"Callum, who was it?" Callum turns around, hands in his back pockets and lips pursed. He does this when he's trying to hide something. You raise your brows.
"Just... someone special." He flashes a quick smile and then runs out of the room. Oh. You were right.
"Someone special" was a code name for one of the boys he fell in love with during your time here in Paris. You both were still in college. He was from the architecture department. Things happened, and things fell apart.
But then, you weren't so sure. Every time someone special called our place after their relationship, Callum was always sad after. Maybe something new happened?
When the clock hit five, everyone was on their way down stairs. You were fully prepped now, in your makeup, and dress with your jewellery and heels. Your mask was on, and you put on a large white fur coat.
Upon exiting your apartment complex, bunches of paparazzi blocked by barricades took pictures of you with their bright flashes. Callum and your team huddled around you, trying to get you safely in the car.
You get in your vehicle, and Callum had made an arrangement that he was to drive it. Nostalgia has filled your senses these past few days. You wonder what would come next.
When you arrived at the venue, wlaking through high ceiling halls and large oak doors, the room was filled with masked people, all dressed in various colours. They stood, laughed, and talked, all while drinking their preferred drinks.
It was a bit chilly in here, and you started to regret leaving your coat in your car. You didn't want to ask Callum to go with you to get it, seeing him already in conversation with the guests. You decide to go to the bar area instead.
You get your drink, fiddling with your hands as you wait. The ballroom was elegant, so much more brilliant than you thought it could be. Though, it felt rather lonely. You shake off the feeling once you receive your poison of the night.
Then, an announcement was heard. Everyone was to grab a partner to accompany them to dance. You promised Callum to enjoy the night, and you guess a dance could fulfil that.
You opted to a man who was sitting in the same bar you were in. He brought you a sense of familiarity for some unknown reason. He was slouched in his seat, ash brown hair a bit messy. He was turning his glass in circles.
"Hello." You greeted. When he turned to you, your eyes widened in wonder. He only had one eye hole, the rest of his face covered like yours. He blinks, and you could slightly hear him breathing.
"Hi." He says simply. You scan him, and there's a feeling in you that you definitely knew who this was, you just couldn't pinpoint it.
"I know I'm not in the position as a woman in this economy," you roll your eyes, "but, would you like to dance with me?"
His back straightens, and you think you've made him uncomfortable.
"Oh. I'm so sorry for even think-"
"Yes." He cuts in. He offers you a gloved hand as he stands from his barstool. You're surprised. He's taller than you imagined.
You take a hold of his hand. It's warm. Familiarly warm. He leads you into the middle of the ballroom, other guests already forming into formation. He gently takes your risks into his hold, moving up to his chest. Again, it's so familiar.
He drifts his hands to your sides and clutches it a bit. You feel as though you knew these hands. Like you've memorised the lines on the palm, the way the fingertips swirl, or how the muscles twitch and the joints move.
The orchestra starts to play, and you start to move. There's a flow you follow, and it feels so easy. You hadn't even known there was choreography, but the man you were with did. And he showed you through it.
You couldn't stop looking. Even if your neck started to hurt from looking up, even if you twirled, even if your eyes started to dry. You couldn't stop. And you didn't want to.
His eyes stayed on you all throughout the dance. The way he held you, the way he felt. He was so warm even if his body was covered in multiple layers of fabric. You could feel it. Like you've sunk into his skin.
When the dance ended, and he asked you to go with him, you agreed. You didn't know what he looked like. You only feel like you knew him, but you weren't sure. But even with that running through your head, you agreed.
The outside was cold but warmer than inside. You still shivered as you did before. Just then, a coat is wrapped around your shaking shoulders. You look up at the masked man. He took his coat off, now only dressed with a white button-up and a vest matching his pants. His already messy hair messes up even more now. It's in perfect condition to run your hands through.
You both make your way to the large railing of the balcony, taking a seat on it. It viewed the beautiful Eiffel Tower, its lights sparkling in the night. The wind blows once again. It's peaceful.
You turn your head to the man, and you almost fell over the rail. Sitting in front of you, his face finally unmasked, was Joseph Descamps. Out of all people, you didn't expect your first love to be sat in front of you. Seven years have passed, and he's still beautiful.
Your eyes began to sting as you lifted your hands to your face, discarding your own mask. He smiles, his pretty pink lips curving upward. He looks down, fiddling with the inseams of his pants. Again, it's familiar.
"Hi, Y/N." He whispers gently, taking a hold of your shaking hand. He takes your gloves off, putting them aside. He connects the tips of his fingers to yours, then encapsulates it in his warmth.
You can't speak. You can't breathe. You can't stop your heart from beating the way it was now.
"Seven years, and I finally see you again." He shows his teeth in his smile, and again, you can't stop looking.
"Still not talking?" He asks with a teasing tone, tilting his head.
"Did you know?" You asked, your voice so low you were surprised he even heard. Of course he did. He payed the closest attention to you.
"Know what?" He raises his eyebrows, anticipating your next words.
"That it was me?" He chuckles and shakes his head.
"Of course I did. I mean, I recognised you with one eye. I think I'd recognise you blind." He moves closer, bringing your hand up and placing a kiss on your knuckles.
You laugh. You lift your free hand up and cup his cheek. He leans into it, head laying heavy on your palm. He looks up at you, his eyelids heavy. Fuck.
He closes his eyes, taking his other hand to clasp at your wrist. He kisses your palm, leaving some wet patches from his open mouth. He trails his kisses up to your pulse, and you can't help but grab on his hair.
"Y/N, I've been looking-" Callum says as he runs towards the entrance of the balcony, stopping in his place at the sight of you.
"Oh, you finally met." Finally? You furrow your eyebrows, trying to figure out what he meant. Joseph pulls away from your hands, keeping his eyes on Callum. You turn my head back to the man in front of me, raising an eyebrow.
"What does he mean finally?" You ask Joseph. Callum walks towards us slowly, hands clasped behind his back.
"Uh..." Joseph looks to Callum. Callum raises his hands up. Joseph looks back to you, licking his lips before answering. "I planned it... sorry?"
"Planned it? Sorry? Joseph, why are you saying sorry? This is the best thing ever." You exclaim, and the two men just look at eachother.
"Not to ruin whatever the fuck you guys were doing just then, but the host wants some pictures, so..." He gestures to the door. You purse your lips in disappointment but nod. You get up and straighten your skirt, wiping off any wrinkles.
"I better go." You take your gloves and mask from where you were seated. "Can I see you after the gala?"
Joseph nods. "I was already planning on it." After prepping fully, you just stand there. You then lift your hand. "Bye."
Why was that so awkward? You'll save your self-beating bit later. Before you could even walk a step, Joseph takes your wrist again. You turn around to be met with a kiss on the corner of your lips.
"You look as gorgeous as the day you left." He whispers and presses another kiss on your cheek. They're beet red, you can feel it. He walks away, waving a bye to Callum, too. Callum slowly turns his head to you, then ushers you to go with him.
"What was that?" There's a cheeky smile on his face, and you try to hide your growing one.
"I don't even know."
××《☆》××
He was... clingy. The host, you meant. He was tall and built, but he was honestly so annoying. He kept bragging about his riches and talking about himself. The only time he shut up was when he took a sip of his whiskey.
You look around subtly, trying to keep yourself from rolling your eyes in front of the man, even though he could barely see them from your mask. Speaking of, he didn't wear one. This might've just been a party to make him somewhat the centre of attention for standing out.
"Dance with me, darling." You grimace. You're very glad for these masks. That nickname will be the death of you. And in a bad way.
"I don't feel like dancing. My feet are starting to hurt." I shrug, pointing to my ankles. You thought you were so smart, but he was just so insistent.
"Well, why don't we go upstairs? My office is free, and, you know," He comes disgustingly closer. You can smell his bad breath from his rotting yellow teeth. "I can help you with the aching."
Before you could retort, an arm wraps around your waist, keeping you still. You would've pushed away if you hadn't recognised his touch or his scent.
"Excuse me, sir. I must bring Ms. Pardine home immediately. She is busy tomorrow. And most definitely busy tonight." He turns his head towards you. He felt so tense. Like he was keeping something within him. A feeling so strong.
The man huffs like a child. "And who are you supposed to be?" He crosses his arms. He looks so immature, even with that saggy and wrinkley face.
"A close... friend." Joseph's hand slid down to my hips, clutching it slightly. He tugs you in closer, making you lose balance and place a hand on his chest. You refuse to look his way, or even anyones.
The other man scowls, disgust now visible in his face. "What a slut." He mumbles, finally leaving you alone. Joseph's grip on your hips tightens, and it starts to hurt you a bit.
"Joseph." You say, trying to gently push his hand away. He immediately lets go, turning to you worriedly.
"Shit. Sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you." He rubs your hip to relax it, but you don't relax one bit. Your heart hammers in your chest, and there's a feeling deep in your stomach.
"It's alright. Just take me home." I caress his neck before grabbing his hand, moving through the crowds of people. You try to look for Callum, but when you find him, he's talking, or quite literally eye fucking some guy he was conversating with. He can get home, you guess.
Joseph takes you home in his car. This felt weird. Not badly, just that you've never been driven by him. It felt comforting. You could get used to this.
You tell him the directions to your place, and when you make it, you pause.
"Come in?" You turn your head. Your masks were already long gone, and all you could see was his beautiful face again.
"Are you sure?" He asks, voice shaking. You can't believe he's still nervous with you, especially with that stunt he pulled with your wrist on a public balcony. You'll tease him about it soon.
"With you? Always." So then you went up to your room, and as soon as you did, his hands were on you again. He backs you up until your back hits the wall behind you. You're both breathing so heavy it's the only thing you could hear in the entire flat.
"I missed you. And I need you. So fucking much." He whispers, one hand cupping your face and the other roaming your waist. Your legs go wobbly, so you take your heels off, making you shorter than you already were standing in front of him.
"Fuck." You mumble. "Kiss me already."
He smashes his lips against yours feverishly, and you could taste everything he had that night. Wine, whiskey, cigarettes, and even strawberries. His tongue swipes your lips as he lets out a groan.
He pulls you closer, kneeling a bit to grab your thighs, then carrying you with ease, all while he loses his breath from kissing you. He lets go of your face to let his hands roam the area, not wanting to accidentally hit your wall.
"Bedroom?" He asks, parting for only a millisecond before placing his pretty pink lips on yours again. You have to fight the urge not to drown in him.
"To the left." He nods, continuing to kiss you as he reverts his way to the left side of your flats. You bump a few things on the way, like some side tables and magazines.
You finally make it to the bedroom, and he lies down gently onto your bed. He slows his lips, savouring the way you tasted. It makes you squirm in anticipation, and you feel a smirk on his lips as he continues. He parts away, a small string of saliva accentuating it. He pants before he speaks.
"I wasn't lying. I really fucking need you. Please. Please, tonight." He whimpers, arms wobbling from where he placed it to hover over you. You just can't say no.
One nod sealed the deal for him, and his lips were on you again. This time, it's on your forehead, your nose, your cheeks, your eyes.
He pecks down to your neck. Everything inside you feels so fuzzy, especially when he kissed and sucked on those sensitive parts. He lowers down to your shoulders, and you can feel the bruises forming. You love the way it feels. You love the way he feels. You love him.
××《☆》××
End - Chapter nine: You Belong To Me
Next - Chapter Ten: I love you
××《☆》××
WHAT'S UP GUYS??? So, like this is nice (i need him so bad OMFGGGGG) totally can still breathe after that last scene (i can't i want him pls omg) so like hope you enjoyed THAT cliffhanger. It's better than my old cliffhangers, right? But overall, i hope you enjoyed THE WHOLE chapter bcs its real nice, and it's all me. ONE CHAPTER LEFT!!!
#joseph descamps#joseph descamps x reader#mixte1963#fanfic#reader insert#reunion#paris france#reunion smut#“i missed you” smut#implied smut#steamy#time skip#time lapse#after college#after highschool#childhood love#enemies to friends to lovers#enemies to lovers
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gojo satoru as childhood lovers trope
for as long as you could remember you had been by gojo’s side. looking up to him with adoration, for everything he did, he did with grace and perfection. you were glued to his arm, not that he minded. he liked knowing you were with him at all times. he could protect you and be there for you whenever you needed him. most would say you were two pea’s in a pod. not only did your big gleaming eyes of admiration boost the too tall for his ages ego but it also made his heart soar with something he couldn’t describe being as young as he was.
but the young boy knew it was a feeling his mommy and daddy shared and he knew he wanted to share it with you even as you both grew to be as big as them.
a/n: short concept i’ve been thinking about. first post i am not a writer 😰
#jjk#gojo satoru#jjk x reader#jjk gojo#gojo x reader#jujutsu kaisen#satorugojo#fluff#gojo fluff#childhood love#romance tropes#gojo come back#gojo x you
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the boy who never understood me, the boy who made me feel unloved, replaceable and unimportant. the boy who has me crying months after he's gone. the boy who ruined my perfect, perfect idea of love. but also the boy who made me giggle into my pillow at night. the boy who took my side no matter what. the boy everyone thought I'd end up with. the boy I thought I'd end up with. the boy who taught me love. the boy who was my best friend in the whole world. the boy who's now gone.
#dark academia#quotes#love#poetry#light academia#dark academia literature#life#love quotes#original poem#chaoticacademia#friends to lovers#childhood love#first love
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Forever In My Heart | King Baldwin
Part I | Part II
Gif by @princess-of-thebes-1995 Dividers by @saradika-graphics pictures by Pinterest
Summary: Baldwin knew that his illness would not allow him to live long. Unfortunately, he did not have an heir to leave the throne to, and since he was of French origin, he demanded an heir from the French kingdom to take over the throne after he died. So King Louis VII sent his younger son and his wife to go to Jerusalem and make a deal with the King.
Warnings! : Toxic Relationship, (King Baldwin is 20, Prince Hugh is 25, Y/N is 19), No Y/N using (Princess Maria), Inspired by history. It is not real historical events exactly, There are chronological mistakes, I apologize for the mistakes I made in English that is not my native language and I am trying to improve my writing skills
A/N: No one's religious beliefs were disrespected. The story was written by researching the ideas of that period.
A/N 2 : You can imagine whoever you want to play the bad guy(Please comment who do you imagine).
" 5th June 1173
My lover who is more beautiful than anything. My lady with lips sweeter than honey, a complexion that would make the moon jealous, and eyes brighter than the sun. The angel who inspires me. You're in my dreams when I sleep, you're the first thing that comes to my mind when I wake up. I miss you so much that every day we are apart I pray to Jesus that my father will return from crusade as soon as possible and start making preparations for our wedding.
After that incident, after the doctors had a dilemma about whether I might be sick, I thought that your father the emperor wanted our engagement not to be official, using his relations with the Seljuk State as an excuse. Forgive me for such impertinent ideas, my love. I would never betray you and your family. However, the crusades that my father Amalric started against the Fatimids by joining forces with the French and Germans showed me that what prevents our marriage is fate. But I know. No matter how late it is, our lives will be united, you will be the most respected queen the Latin kingdom has ever seen. Christian and Muslim healers will soon produce a cure for my illness together. Don't think about me. I will be fine, knowing that you love me gives me strength, my queen. Always be happy, be healthy. Always remember me. Dream about our future during the days we are apart, because I do. May the God who reigns in the heavens and watches over the whole world protect you.
I think the reason you didn't reply to my previous two letters is because you were busy, but this time I'm eagerly waiting for you to reply to my letter, my love. My heart is with you forever."
Who could love a man whom even God has cursed?
1180 4th June
When the night covered the lands of Jerusalem like a blanket, Baldwin stood by the window and watched his kingdom. God had given this holy city to the Crusaders and had stood by them. The Latin kingdom acted as a protector against the increasingly powerful Muslim invaders. Although the failure of the 2nd Crusade had caused a lack of trust among the Crusader countries, he was the only great king who was able to unite the Holy Land after his father Amalric died. His people were pleased with him. Despite being a Crusader commander, he did not want anyone to be treated unfairly, regardless of religion or race. But why did the king not feel proud when his people loved him so much?
When he looked at his reflection in the golden goblet he held in his hand, the answer to the question was actually very clear. Despite everything, he was the cursed king. He was weak and incapable for Muslims. How could a king who was struggling for his own health deal with state issues? He was also a servant lower than a pig. He was created so ugly because they did not believe in the same god. Just as ugly and useless as a pig. Saladin should have been ashamed of himself for being defeated by a king who was a child and a leper in the battle of Montgisard. But no one had thought about it. His smart moves in the army and state administration, his choice of advisors and the poor-looking king proved his power. He was the only king who came into being on the bed to manage the war. His courage had inspired the painter.
It was normal for Muslims to spread such prejudiced and hostile gossip, of course. But it was the Christians whose ideas he had to fight against. They thought that God had cursed Baldwin when he was born. He was the one God did not like. He knew how dark his soul was when he created him. When he grew up, the devil would be his guide. He was a cruel, barbaric ruler whose mind worked for nothing but evil. Leprosy was his mark and badge for his past and future sins. He was branded so that the people would notice and stay away from this devil.
He had long forgotten his identity. The man he saw in the reflection in the goblet, with a rotting skin, was either a pig or a devil.
But he was not human in either world. When he could no longer hide this curse and his fiancée did not even deign to write him a farewell letter, he lost the last feeling that would remind him of his humanity. Love. No one loved a pig, they would detest it. No one would stray from God's path and fall in love with the devil. He would rather die. And what were the feelings? What were the longing and love he felt in his heart? Moreover, what was the sadness that was hidden behind these two feelings and spread throughout his body? These feelings grew stronger after he received the news that the crown prince of France and his wife, the Byzantine Princess Maria, would arrive in Jerusalem tomorrow. Could a pig long for? Could a barbarian be sad, or could the devil love?
Baldwin could no longer bear to see the truth reflected in the globe and threw it to the ground. So many years passed. Baldwin stood strong against the gossip about him. He only loved his kingdom and swore to protect it. He rewarded the oppressed and punished the oppressors so that people could live in peace and not have hostile feelings. However, the seeds of love that had been waiting to sprout in his heart for years blossomed with the news that he would see the woman he loved again, and the king felt hopeless.
As the medicinal drink spilled from the glass that fell to the ground spread on the stone floor, the bare parts of his maskless, bandaged face reappeared before him like a nightmare. As his breathing rhythm quickened, he heard a voice.
"When the Physicians were preparing the drink, I could tell from the smell that it tasted bad."
When Baldwin looked in the direction of the voice, he saw William coming from the darkness. The only source of light in the room was the moonlight.
"William," he said, trying to hide his emotions, "I didn't hear you come in."
William smiled warmly. "You wouldn't have heard of it if there was a rebellion, your majesty, and forgive my impudence, but the reason for this has to do with your guests tomorrow."
Baldwin turned toward the city. "I was sure I would never see her again. But now, in the castle of Kerak, Raybald of Châtillon is hosting them."
William looked at the king. "Indeed, you should have known this day would come. Your relations with the Kingdom of France are strong."
"Maybe I was just afraid that day would come."
"You're still in love with her."
"Every minute I thought I had forgotten her, my longing for her grew my love."
"Princess Maria was a good match for you. She was very intelligent, kind, and combative. A fine queen for the Latin kingdom," he said, and the melancholy gaze of Baldwin, which he did not want to show, gave him away, caused William to apologize. "I apologize if I went too far, your majesty. I just wanted to recall a pleasant memory."
A beautiful memory. It was true. Every moment Baldwin spent with the princess was special. He could talk and laugh for hours about any memory he recalled. Baldwin was not born into a loving family. When he ascended to the throne, his kingdom was on the verge of division. His illness pretended him weak against his enemies. But in all his misfortunes, Maria was his white rose, and no matter how pessimistic he felt a moment ago, he now smiled because of her.
A bitter smile, ""Do you think she can still wield a sword skillfully?"
He had the same bitter smile on his face. ""There is no doubt about that, your majesty. Perhaps once they are settled in the palace you can challenge her to a duel and see for yourself."
Although this idea sounded nice at first, the facts were obvious. He replied in a reproachful tone, as if rebelling against fate. "How can I do this when I can't use my limbs and can't see in one eye, William, tell me!" He looked harshly.
"These words do not seem to belong to you, my king. Weren't you the king who learned to use a sword with his left arm because his right arm betrayed him at every opportunity? You designed special stirrups for your numb legs. You led fights with that blind eye of yours. Now don't tell me you avoided a duel with a 19-year-old young woman."
"I don't want her to see me like this, Will. My body is decaying day by day. God's curse is growing stronger and my resistance to pain is diminishing." He looked at the view again. "I don't want her to remember me like this. She confessed that she was amazed by my beauty the night we fell in love. He turned back to William and pointed his finger at his face. Look at my current state, the boy she fell in love with is dead. The Leper King was the end of that beautiful boy."
Baldwin suddenly felt unwell and William held him as he collapsed to the ground, his legs shaking.
"Your Majesty, you need to rest now."
William called to the servants to take Baldwin to bed. The servants came to them in a hurry and, taking kings arm, carried him to the bed. One left to get water. Another was adjusting his pillows. Finally William warned them to leave the room and approached Baldwin.
"You have always been a good boy, Baldwin. You are the best king the Latin Kingdom has ever seen. No ruler after you will be able to hold these lands together."
"I would not want this. I hope that people will recognize my efforts and protect the lands from hostile armies."
Before leaving William Baldwin's room, he spoke one last time. "Prince Hugh will take more care of you both, your majesty. Be careful."
Maria had been nervous since they arrived at the castle of Kerak. Representing the Komnenos dynasty had been a heavy burden on her shoulders. About six years before she was born, dark times had passed over Manuel I and the Byzantine lands. Constantinople had been sacked, the city almost destroyed. Châtillon had been the emperor's worst nightmare until Manuel took revenge on her. He disturbed the people as if he owned the Byzantine Empire. Maria's nanny would tell her these dark memories before she went to sleep at night. Maria was a naughty child and would tell the story that Châtillon would come back one night and kidnap the naughty children. But Maria always trusted her father. Although he seemed like an emperor who was afraid of the Turks and had a weak political mind, Maria was smart enough to understand her father's strategic steps. That's why she never feared Châtillon. Her father may have suffered great losses during those times, but later he took his revenge on Châtillon in a satisfactory way.
Baldwin did not attend her and Prince Hugh wedding. He was too tired to go to France. Otherwise, his death would have come sooner, and Saladin's army would have occupied Jerusalem long ago. Therefore, Reynald of Châtillon attended the wedding as regent. Emperor Manuel saw this as an insult, and the ties between him and the Latin kingdom were almost broken. But Baldwin, the Latin king, knew his former father-in-law well. He had observed the emperor very well during his engagement to his daughter, and had skillfully kept the bond between them together.
Despite everything, Châtillon must have been unable to stomach the emperor's revenge, for he was taking a jab at the princess who had joined them at the dinner table. He was talking badly about her father. He was making fun of the Byzantine Emperor, implying that if the emperor did not come under Crusader countries protection, the Muslims would give up Jerusalem and occupy Constantinople, and they would be successful. Therefore, it was very lucky for the princess to marry the son of the King of France. Maria would of course say something in response to these words, but the crown prince of France thought that women were stupid and should not meddle in state affairs. What did women know except intrigue, sex, and having children? Whenever Maria spoke, her husband humiliated her in front of the lords of the other kingdoms. She did not want to experience the same thing again. She felt sad enough when she thought of Baldwin anyway. But both Maria's and the prince's minds were changed by Châtillon's audacity. He had brought up the subject of Baldwin and the princess's broken engagement. Maria felt uneasy. She knew that her husband had always kept his eyes on her, for it was a sensitive subject.
When Châtillon noticed the tension between the two, he explained how strong the bond between her and Baldwin was. He had read Maria’s letters impudently several times before the curse of leprosy had set in. He disclosed some of the love poems in these letters. Of course, he could not remember the exact words, but he sang similar sentences with a mocking grin. Hearing these things made the Prince angry. The gold goblet in his hand almost bent, but he tried not to show it. He looked at his beloved wife with a meaningful smile. Not wanting to appear weak, he intervened. “I thought your engagement was a political agreement, my lady. Would you care to give me more details? I would like to hear it.” He brought the glass to his lips, finished the wine in one gulp, and slammed it down on the table.
However, Maria knew that the prince intended to ask her this question. If she was not satisfied with the answer he would give, his revenge would be severe. Hugh had threatened her with his dynasty. The prince was madly in love with her and knew that his love was unrequited. He was jealous of her in front of everyone and everything.
She was trying not to give away her lie as she pushed the toasted almonds on the Blancmange that had just been served into the rice fish paste mixture with the tip of her fork. "We were both kids at the time. Our alliance against his half-brothers brought us closer. These are childish feelings." These words were lies. Every emotion she experienced was too mature.
Raynald lifted his globe to his mouth and drank the spiced wine, smearing it through his filthy beard before scraping the remains of the wine away with the palm of his hand. "Your mind was capable of writing love poems as a child."
Prince Hugh gritted his teeth. He should have cut off the head of the daring man in front of him with his sword, but he was too arrogant to show his jealousy to anyone. Instead, he chose to show his anger to his wife by stroking Maria's hair harshly. She had to be careful.
She looked bravely at Reynald. Looking into his eyes, she put the Blancmange in her mouth and began to speak, ignoring the rules as she chewed. "I am flattered that you find the love poems written by a little girl mature. Yes, Baldwin and I were mature, and I was smart enough to see that you were a pain in the neck when you were still a mercenary."
Raynald looked to the prince to put the princess in her place, but Hugh agreed with his wife, and for once, though he didn't show it, he was pleased with her headstrong nature.
Then he looked at the princess with greed. "It was obvious that the daughter of the Byzantine emperor would not suit the future king of France."
Maria stood up, her chair leg scraping the floor. "Then you should know to watch your step when talking to me."
Then she turned respectfully, in a way that glorified her husband. "Master of my heart, if you allow me, I would like to go to the chapel and pray."
The prince was unsure of what to say. He did not want to be angry with his wife, for she had put Raynald in his place, who had insidiously planted the sin of jealousy in his heart. He was also flattered by his wife in front of the other lords and barons at the table. He only gave his wife permission to go to the chapel.
She grabbed the hem of her dress so as not to fall. So she left the room and walked quickly down the corridor. Talking about her memories with Baldwin broke her heart. His look, his smile, his conversation, his intelligence... She had never known a man like him in the Empire or the Kingdom of France. Her mind was always on her old love. She had stolen her own life. She spent her youth in the bed of a man she did not love, thinking of Baldwin. Now she was in pain and wanted to be alone, alone with the Virgin Mary.
One of her maids would come to her. She called to her lady, said that her son were crying uncontrollably. Little Philip needed his mother. She ignored the maids calling her as she ran down the hall. But the baby wanted her mother and was crying non-stop. But a child from a man she did not love would not be good for her right now.
She just wanted to go to the chapel and pray before the Virgin Mary. She was on her knees, placed her elbows on the altar. "Hail Mary, Full of Grace, The Lord is with thee. Forgive me, I cannot guard my ideas from sin as I guard my chastity. Holy Mary, Mother of God. I am weak, the love that the devil has cultivated in my heart becomes sweeter to me every day that I do not see him. Please hear me, tear down the walls between us and inspire me to forget him. O Virgin, holy and merciful, obtain for all who offend thee the grace of repentance, and graciously accept this poor act of homage from me thy servant, obtaining likewise for me from thy Divine Son the pardon and remission of all my sins. Amen." She placed her palms crosswise on her chest. She was crying, convulsing with tears.
The prince and princess of France entered the holy lands with four horse guards in front and six behind to protect the gift chests. The royal coat of arms, the 'fleur-de-lys', was carved on wood on the body of the carriage, and the windows were covered with curtains in the color of the coat of arms's base color, the blue, thus completely cutting off communication between the people and the nobles.
But it was impossible not to notice such a long convoy. The children playing followed the horses and did not leave its vicinity, hoping to see who was behind the curtain. But the princess saw them. She had slightly parted the fabric and was enjoying the excited running of the children speaking in a language she did not know. Meanwhile, her husband, who was sitting next to her, distracted her by holding her hand. When the young princess turned her head to the prince, the smile on her face disappeared.
"Don't let children know you're looking at them, my lady. Then they'll have the brass face."
She looked at him smugly. "They are children. At least don't act arrogant towards children!"
Hugh gritted his teeth. He should have put her in her place, but their baby Philip’s nurse intervened to calm the anger between them. She smiled and called out to the princess as she sat across from her, put the baby to sleep in her arms.
"Your Majesty, in a few years your son will be running around the palace corridors just like them."
Maria smiled at the woman. "I hope he becomes a guardian of peace and justice." The word that crossed her mind was 'like Baldwin'. But she could not say it.
The nurse looked at the baby. "There is no doubt about it, my lady."
Prince Hugh was very angry with his wife. He could have given her a severe punishment, but his love was holding him back. Instead, he used his ambition for his son. He smiled arrogantly. "He will be a king in the Latin lands, a nightmare for Muslims! He will send the unbelievers to hell in this world. He will slaughter the unbelievers mercilessly. Otherwise, how can he be the commander of the Crusader armies?"
Maria hated herself for marrying such a cruel man. She could assure herself that the children's voices he heard outside had become screams of pain in his imagination. And look at the nobles who considered Baldwin a barbarian! What a disgrace! The princess was about to continue looking out the window in anger when she turned her head and caught the nurse's eye. The woman gave her no words. Her expression begged his majesty to be silent. For his well-being and peace. Maria smiled with tears in her eyes and did as he said, smiling slightly.
Meanwhile, William, who had received news that the royal carriage was approaching the palace, was giving orders for the final preparations. Sybilla had to make sure that the food and organization were perfect. The servants were arranging the prince and princess's favorite fruits and wines on the table in their rooms, and the gifts to be presented to the royal family were being counted in the great hall.
Baldwin lay on his back in his bed, surrounded by four physicians who were helping their assistants apply ointment to his wounds.
"Ah," sighed the king, "at last, my love. At last, I will be able to witness your beautiful smile again."
"Be a little faster!" But even that was tiring him. He was excited to greet them and wanted to stand up in defiance of God.
The physician warned the king, "Your Majesty, you must lie down for a day and wait for your skin to absorb the medicine. It will be more beneficial."
Baldwin gritted his teeth and spoke threateningly. “Are you disobeying my orders?”
The physicianstammered. He emphasized that he had been misunderstood. He apologized and ordered his assistants to hurry. After applying the herbal mixture to the king's wounds, they wrapped clean, white bandages crosswise, using two layers of cloth so that the skin would not be visible. Cotton fabrics in particular were imported from the Mediterranean. Otherwise, his completely covered skin would not be able to breathe and would become damp, and the amount of salt in his sweat would cause Baldwin to suffer in pain. In fact, the ointment was already hurting him enough.
One of his servants came to him with a silver cup in his hand and supported his back, allowing him to straighten up. Thus, he drank the healing water easily. As he was sliding the last sip from his lips to his mouth, William entered. He too might not have been in favor for king to welcome the royal family, but he knew that his life was short. Seeing the woman he loved should have been more important than the pain he would suffer. Who knows? Perhaps the last time they would meet would be Baldwin's funeral. Maria stood in front of her childhood love's coffin, crying heartily, and they would say goodbye to each other for the last time, and the only memory she had of him would be the metal mask.
"Your Majesty," he said with a wry smile on his face, "I have come to take you. News has come that they have almost arrived. Everything is ready in the outer courtyard. After the welcoming ceremony, you may proceed to the great hall."
Baldwin confirmed William and after the bandaging process was completed, he stood up. My God! For a moment, the King seemed to forget about the curse. He thought they were just like those two beautiful children from ten years ago. Two noble children who will live their love that has not been granted to anyone else. He hadn't even gotten help from anyone when he was sitting up in bed. Love must have been such a miraculous feeling. None of the physicians' ointments could give him the strength to stand up in minutes. The verses from the Bible that were read to cure his illness were of no use. Only his passionate longing for Maria gave him strength. It healed his melted bones and allowed his joints to bend freely. It allowed his joints to bend freely. Perhaps he would soon have the power to expand the borders of the Latin kingdom. But no! The truth had a bad habit of coming out at the wrong time. He was standing from William. He was only five steps away.
"Let's go." King said. At this moment, a servant called out to him, came to him with quick steps and held out the mask in his hand.
"Your majesty, mask!"
There's that Silver mask! The evil Witch who took him away from life. The King looked at the mask's artificial lips, hollow eyes, and metal eyebrows. He was the only person in the room who saw the mask's devilish grin. It was as if the mask was mocking him. He knew how much the woman he loved would pity him when she saw his sick body. And Baldwin's embarrassment must surely be the amusement of the mask. Once again the King was defeated. Although he had the arrogance of a king when he took the mask from the servant's hand, William knew the dramatic mood of the man he had known since childhood. So he supported the king with his words while his face was completely covered with a metal mask. When the servants grabbed his arm and tried to help him walk, he gestured with his hand for them not to come.
"The king looks quite healthy. No need."
William stepped back from the door and cleared the way for the king to exit.He clasped his hands in front of him and waited for Baldwin to come out. However, after their King left the room, William followed him to accompany, followed by the servants. It was noon. Light seeping through the corridor windows illuminated the gray stone walls. The designs and art of Arab architects were on display.
"My legs are shaking William. "This is not because of my illness," he said. He could keep Saladin and his armies away from his lands. He could win the battle. But for love, he was still young.
"I know, your majesty. Although not as excited as you, I'm excited to see the princess too."
Beautiful, attractive, innocent, seductive. Which word was more appropriate to say to the holy beloved? Which one would he choose to describe the relentless love inside him? Or were the other adjectives hidden behind these words what made his fall in love? Was it her stubborn and strong stance that made her seductive, was it her helpfulness and fairness that gave her the name of innocence, was it her white skin and wavy hair that reached down to her waist that made her attractive or was her beauty and grace necessary? There was no definite answer to these questions and even the answers that suddenly came to his mind were not enough to learn the reason for his feelings for her. The way he looked at her or the way she shyly looked away from him, he would now forbid each other. If their eyes met, it would be a sin. Then how would Maria have the courage to go to church again and ask for forgiveness?
All this was going on in the king's mind. When the horse carriage carrying the royal family entered the courtyard. The prince and princess were presented. The King was sitting on his throne waiting for them. But what he was most worried about was how he would react when he saw Maria. And that moment has come. As she descended the wooden steps of the carriage, Baldwin’s eyes went there. The years had made her a mature woman and made her beautiful. The dark brown tone of her hair had lightened, and blondes were mixed in between. Her skin was smooth as in her childhood. The cherry cheeks that adorned her snow-white face had not left her. A storm had formed in his heart, his love had turned into a natural disaster. When she descended the creaking steps and her feet touched the ground, Maria looked up at the king. Her honey-colored eyes sparkled. She had seen the child behind the metal mask in Baldwin’s eyes.
But the maid who got out of the carriage was carrying something in her arms that revealed the sin of their love. One of the heirs to the crown. Prince Philip. Maria's son by Prince Hugh. This child would have been theirs if this disease had not taken him prisoner. William expected the king to make a welcoming speech. But Baldwin seemed rather absent-minded. “Your Majesty,” he warned his king, “you must pull yourself together. The princess is now a married woman with a heir."
William was right. He had to come to his senses quickly and fulfill his duties as a king. The Latin King stood up, holding on to the arms of the prepared throne, and greeted the Prince and the Princess. He said it was a great honor for them to be here. Because he was on very good terms with King Louis VII of France. That's why it was such a pleasure for him to welcome the future heir, the Prince, and his wife, Princess Maria. Of course, when he saw Princess Maria next to the Prince, these words he said were completely fake. Even though he knew that Maria and the king were old childhood friends, the Prince did not allow Maria to speak and spoke to the king himself. Because he knew she still love this king with the ugly rotting skin. The king could not look at Maria. Because if he did, everything would be understood. So he averted his eyes, but Maria looked at her old friend William and smiled. Old memories had gathered in her eyes and came out.
William spoke up. "Your Majesty, if you wish, we can place the gifts of the Kingdom of France in the great hall. This will provide a much more intimate setting for the gifts presented during the banquet."
"Good thinking, William," Baldwin said. "Let's do what's necessary."
After the prince and the king finished speaking, they went inside. The servants showed the nobles to their rooms so they could get ready for the feast while their belongings were being put away.
Baby Philip had a separate room. They went to their rooms with the nurse.
When they came to the room, the bathtub was ready. The bathtub was made of white marble, shaped by marbles extracted from the Anatolian Seljuk lands. It was filled with water containing jasmine essence and leaves. Arab servants surrounded the bathtub, one had a silver tray, a loofah and soap on it. The other had a loincloth in his hand.
Princess Maria knew that Muslims were very clean. This was the most important thing for Islam and they were very contemptuous of people who were not clean.
The servants took off Maria's clothes, covered her private parts with a loincloth, and holding her hand, they sat her in the tub.
A woman took a copper bowl and dipped it into the jasmine water in the bathtub and poured it on the princess's hair. The cold drops of water cooled the roots of her warm hair. The weather was so hot here that the coolness of the water was a relief to her. She leaned her head on the edge of the tub and positioned herself so the other woman could massage her shoulder.
Her muscles, which had been tense due to sadness and her husband's irritable character, began to relax. The woman's delicate fingers were moving around the girl's shoulders and neck. The drops of water that had begun to dry on her skin were keeping it cool in the hot air. She was half asleep, half awake, dreaming but barely aware of what was happening. She didn't even realize when the woman's delicate, thin fingers were replaced by thick, calloused ones. Baldwin was in her dreams. She was sitting in the arbor of the palace in Constantinople, in the gardens with their many varieties of flowers, with Baldwin's head on Maria's lap. His eyes were looking up, into the honey-colored eyes of his beloved wife. The sun was streaming through the wooden planks of the arbor and making the heavens in Baldwin's blue eyes shine. She stroked his light golden brown hair. His skin was soft and shiny, just like when he was a child, and his lips were thin and small.
"My beautiful lover." He said. But voice was not like him. "Are you thinking about me?" The girl's eyebrows furrowed. As if this was a rebellion against passing into the real world. She opened her eyes and sat up. When she looked up, she saw Hugh sitting on the edge of the tub, looking at his wife with longing. But the same was not true for the princess.
She was serious. "What are you doing?"
Hugh replied as she stood up, using the sides of the tub for support. "I thought my wife missed me." He stood up too and caressed her cheek with the back of his hand.
Maria lowered her eyes, raised one hand, and asked the maids to help her get out of the tub. But the prince was on edge against his wife's cold attitude. He watched with anger as he was left alone.
The servants were massaging Maria's body with various oils and combing her hair. Meanwhile, her assistant was choosing a beautiful outfit for the banquet. But Maria was nervous. She and Hugh had not touched each other for a long time. They had never brought each other to the perfect peak of orgasm. That letter from the Latin palace had changed something and the prince was aware of it. She knew that Hugh would use the maids to do this. Even though he knew that adultery was one of the greatest sins, the prince felt entitled to it. Perhaps he wanted to make the woman he loved jealous and take revenge. But he never achieved his goal. Because Maria could never love her husband enough to be protective or jealous of him.
As if it were a ritual, a rite, he would ask for sexual intercourse in the palace of the man she loved. He wanted to trouble her conscience.
While her dress and jewelry were being prepared for the feast, the servants dressed Maria in a white silk nightgown, the sleeves of which were wide and connected to the skirt like bat wings.
When the princess returned to bedroom, she did not see her husband. This was a relief to her.
"Where would you like me to put these clothes, my lady?" Maria was startled by the old woman's question. She answered with a faint smile on her face. "Put them where the emerald green surcoat is."
Then she went to her jewelry. They were in a carved wooden chest on the table. She put her fingers inside and began to rummage through the earrings, necklaces, and rings. The necklace she would wear to the banquet was very special. Among the betrothal gifts that Emperor Manuel had burned or distributed to the poor, the only gift Maria had saved was the beautiful necklace designed by Baldwin. The pearls hanging from the edges of the gold collar surrounding the red beryl, emerald, and alexandrite stones...
She called her maid over and told her that she would be wearing this necklace as an accessory to the dress they had chosen. The woman was fascinated as soon as she saw the necklace. "This is very beautiful, your majesty."
About ten minutes later, the prince called out to his wife, who was giving instructions to her maids to put away the clothes. "You must be happy to see your childhood sweetheart, my love." Maria was startled by her husband's voice as she smoothed down the pearl-embroidered dress in her hand. She ran her fingers over the soft texture of the shiny fabric and handed it to the maid. "The same topic again?" Then she looked at her husband. "That's in the past, you know. Ten years is a long time to forget."
Hugh grabbed his wife's arm tightly and turned her towards him. He clenched his teeth and swallowed. "For the mind, yes, but for your heart? Was ten years enough?"
Maria did not say a word, and that was an answer for Hugh. He squeezed his wife's arm tighter. The young woman groaned, feeling the pain in her arm deeply. She frowned under the pain and tried to pull away. "Leave me alone!"
The maids were disturbed by the tension between husband and wife and did not know what to do.
Hugh brought his face closer to hers. "If that's true, I swear..." he was cut off by a knock on the door.
Maria looked into her husband's eyes without the slightest trace of love.
She ordered. "Come in!"
The young servant girl ran to Princess Maria and bowed before her.
"Your Majesty, forgive me. Your son Philip, I believe, needs your help."
Prince Hugh was also angry. Were all those nannies interested in his heir? Just as he was about to attack the young girl, Maria grabbed his arm. "My prince, please! Have some patience!" She was worried. "Is everything okay? What's wrong?"
The girl was not very good at lying, she stammered. "He wouldn't stop crying. We thought he needed his mother. The mother's scent calms babies."
Hugh glanced at his wife contemptuously. "Your motherhood is as bad as your wifehood!”
Without saying anything, Maria left her husband and ordered the young girl to take her son.
The maid was escorting the princess to the room where Philip was staying. Maria noticed that she was quite excited. She had thought of scenarios such as her son being sick. She started asking the girl questions. Was her son sick? Maybe something bad happened to him and they were afraid of the prince and didn't tell her. The girl's nervous attitude made the princess even more nervous. "Stop, I order you!"
The girl stopped suddenly and looked like a child being scolded by her mother. Maria could see how frightened her face was in the candlelight. "What's the matter? You look very nervous."
The girl stuttered and pointed to the hallway behind Maria. “This way, my lady.” Maria swallowed and looked at the hallway the girl was pointing to. It looked much more ornate than the others. The work on its door was magnificent and decorated with gold leaf.
Maria frowned. "Philip isn't there, is he?"
The girl shook her head. “No, your majesty. Just come in. He’s waiting for you there.”
When the soldiers waiting at the door saw Maria, they immediately moved and opened the door. Maria knew very well who was waiting for her inside. She walked through the door with excited steps and went out to the balcony with the most beautiful view of Jerusalem. The two soldiers standing here welcomed their princess and escorted her to the door leading to their king's chamber.
The soldiers brought the princess to the door and left. Maria took a deep breath, knocked on the door and entered that was nervous. It was the first time she had done something in secret from her husband. She was sure he would punish her if he knew where she was. She could not leave the bedrooms. He would put guards at the bedroom doors.
She looked around. The objects were as if they were showing off in the light of evening with sun. This was not the room he had stayed in as a child. It was his father's room and its size was dazzling. It was a room worthy of a young king of the Holy Land. Maria looked at the bed across from her in admiration. Her childhood love was resting in this bed, leaving his scent on these sheets. She slowly approached the bed and picked up the burgundy-colored pillow. She wrapped her arms around it tightly, as if she were hugging Baldwin. She buried her head in the soft texture of the pillow and breathed in the scent. It smelled just as she remembered. It was so clean, smelled of soap and incense.
The princess remembered the dream she had the night of their engagement. It was a terrifying nightmare, to be exact. She had longed to speak to the bishop of Hagia Sophia. Even though the priest had interpreted her nightmare positively, Maria was always anxious. She was afraid of the end of their epic love. And one day, those things she feared separated them until death. When all these memories came to life before her eyes, a small smile appeared on her face. However, her eyes denied this smile and tears were streaming down her cheeks.
"Is that you William? I've been waiting for you." It was Baldwin's voice, and it came from afar. Maria, with the remorse of her sin, did not want to be caught by Baldwin, and her whole body trembled. When she turned her head to the silk tulle curtain that separated the room, she saw his silhouette and dropped the pillow in her lap to the floor.
Take the pillow or leave the room… While she was trying to choose the right way in this dilemma, Baldwin pulled the veil aside and entered.
“Maria, you…” Baldwin stood there in shock and could not finish his sentence.
There he was, Baldwin. The man whose happiness she had forgotten for years with his longing was standing right in front of her. Baldwin was no different. He felt much stronger now. He never expected to meet those meaningful eyes again. Alone. It was as if their cursed love had flared up again.
Baldwin did not want Maria to get into a difficult situation. As soon as he saw Maria approaching him, he spoke up. "It is not right for you to be here, my lady. Please do not do this to us."
Maria, on the other hand, was determined. She had been imprisoned by a man she did not love for years, and when she could no longer stand this torture, the man who was her ray of hope stood before her.
They were standing face to face when she replied, "I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be."
Her hands were on groin, her nails tearing at the flesh on the sides of her fingers.
Baldwin replied, his voice filled with reproach. "You gave up on me, Maria. I learned of our separation from the letter your father sent to the palace. You didn't care to send a farewell letter."
Maria was crying. She looked into the king's eyes. "This is not true. I swear."
"Tell me what is right," he said. "Of course you couldn't go against your family, I understand that. But what about your love? Your fear got in the way of your love, and I couldn't read your last letter that smelled of roses, is that right?"
"No. You don't know how strict my father is. I wrote you letters many times. I wanted to send them secretly, but my nanny betrayed me. That's why I always got caught. I gave up because a young girl died in pain because of the letters I wrote you. I wasn't afraid of my father, Baldwin. I didn't want innocent people to suffer because of me." The words barely escaped her lips as she sobbed.
The girl took Baldwin's right hand, wrapped in a white bandage, and caressed it. But the effects of leprosy were beginning to set in again, and his arm was numb. What a disappointment it was not to be able to feel the woman he loved while she held his hand! "Oh God, please," he whispered. He did not care how great a sin adultery was. He wanted to feel the touch of the woman he loved. He wanted to experience the sexual urges he felt for the only woman in his life, past and future, who would love him. Not now, his inner voice said. He did not want to die without being drunk with Maria's love.
Baldwin took his right arm and pulled it from Maria's hands. He held out his left hand. "Come on Maria, come with me. We have a lot to talk about," he said. Although the princess realized that Baldwin could not use his right arm, she did not show anything so as not to upset him. So they went behind the silk veil.
The evening view of Jerusalem was almost under their feet. They sat on the couch. Their eyes met suddenly. It was the first time Maria saw her friend, her love, with a mask on his face, and it was painful for her soul.
"God has given you the most beautiful design of all his creations, Maria. You took me back to my childhood."
Maria smiled. "You too, my dear. The innocent, well-intentioned child standing before me has not changed at all."
Baldwin took offense. "You needn't pity me. I have been the god-cursed king for too long."
Maria put her hand on Baldwin's silver mask. Since she couldn't touch his skin, she had to be content with this. "You're still that boy I fell in love with." She caressed the cold, hard, emotionless mask. "The eyes looking with courage and hope. That boy whose character and heart I admired, has now grown up and become the greatest king the Latin Kingdom will ever witness."
There was surprise in Baldwin's voice. "Do you really think so?" He knew what was being said about him outside the borders of the kingdom. Even Saladin did not take him seriously at first. Until he saw that the king was a formidable enemy, he didn't respected him. Still, his illness had become a symbol of bad luck in many kingdoms, especially Byzantium, and had caused political relations to be damaged. If an agreement was made with the Latin kingdom, the curse of God would be poured upon them.
"Even if you gave me all the jewels in the world, it wouldn't satisfy me as much as your love." Her lips trembled, the area around her eyes turned red.
She was trying to control herself not to cry. She brought her face closer to Baldwin and buried her head in his neck, witnessing his scent and warmth. "You are not only the king of the holy land, but also the king of my heart," she said.
Baldwin was ashamed. He had never been so loved and pampered by a woman. He could even see his mother at political meetings. It had been a long time since he felt like a man. He had forgotten that he was a man because in other kingdoms he was nothing. Muslims called him a pig because they did not believe in the same God. Andalusian Arab historians spoke of him as a disgusting creature. According to Christians, he was the child of the devil and God punished him with ugliness and pain as a price for the cruelty and misery he would bring to the world. Jews living in his kingdom cursed their kings because they were not under the rule of a glorious king and prayed for his death. However, even though all that was left of that beautiful child was a piece of rotten flesh, he was reminded that he was human by the woman he loved, without knowing what he had become.
"You are here with me now, Maria. We may never meet again, but it is a great chance that you are here with me now."
Maria tried to smile, but tears were flowing relentlessly down her cheeks and down her chin, dampening Baldwin's white bandage. "I beg you, don't talk like that! Make me forget about reality for one night. Let's be in a fairy tale. Kiss me and let us to live happily ever after."
"I promise, Maria. I'll only make you live your fairy tale tonight."
Maria wrapped her arms around Baldwin's still feeling hand and lifted it into the air. She brought her lips close and kissed it longingly, many times.
Baldwin kept his word and wanted to talk about the good times.
"After reading the letter from the French court, William and I discussed whether she could still use a sword."
Maria wiped her tears and smiled. "I haven't used a sword since I got married. Hugh says it's not for women."
"It is unfair, the land of France has lost its best knight."
Maria shrugged. "If you're not my opponent, I don't care."
Baldwin's voice was full of affection. "We can reminisce whenever you want."
Maria snuggled up to Baldwin. She leaned her head on his chest. "It's okay, I don't want you to get tired."
Baldwin's numb arm was finally beginning to get feel, and he lifted his arm with difficulty and effort, and as he gently stroked Maria's hair, she looked happily at him without lifting her head from his chest.
"Maria, my beautiful queen. While my illness cannot prevent me from fighting the Ayyubids and leading my army, shall I miss the chance to duel with you? I will definitely be ready for it tomorrow."
"I would be honored, my king," said Maria. If she had married Baldwin, she would have been queen, and in their correspondence Baldwin always referred to Maria as "my queen." The fact that he addressed her with the same title, just like in the old days, showed the greatness of the love in his heart.
At the end of this entertaining conversation, Baldwin grew quiet. There was an inexplicable sadness in his voice. "You said your father was strict. You said a girl died because of us, Maria. What have you been through?"
Maria lowered her eyes as she remembered. Her eyes were red and a few tears slid down her cheeks to her chin.
"Several times one of the young maids helped me to smuggle letters into my room. The niche in the wall where i had once kept my doll was filled with letters from you. But the day the nanny discovered our secret, father showed no mercy. "she sobbed . "The young girl was punished by the priest reading verses from the Bible, supposedly purifying herself from her sins. Hot irons, daggers and hot oil. The girl fainted many times due to this unbearable pain and her weak body could not stand it anymore. The girl died."
"I never thought the emperor would be so afraid of our love that he would slander God. No God would allow such a punishment to be given to a virgin girl."
"I couldn't write you back. Because I never got to your last letter. The last time I saw it was among the gifts from you were being burned, in the middle of courtyard." She was sobbing and repeated over and over, "Forgive me, forgive me, my love."
Baldwin's heart ached as if it had been thrown into fire, and it was because of sadness and despair that Maria has.
"If I had a chance, if this curse would leave me alone, I would make you the happiest woman in the world," he said, stroking her hair.
But Maria, angered by this statement, rose harshly from her king's lap, her hands resting on Baldwin's groin, gripping the fabric of his robe tightly. "Please stop cursing your illness! You shouldn't care what people think. And I don't believe the thing what they think God says in bible. God holds you up as an instance to all; the kingdom of heaven is strengthened in your hands."
Baldwin put his bandaged hand around the girl's neck and pulled back the hair that covered her beautiful neck. "How can you be so sure about God, Maria? Are the priests wrong?"
"Did you not show your power, despite the limitations of your illness, and become a king loved by your people and respected by your enemies? You keep a part of God within you. You are not that man hated by God, Baldwin. If you were, I cannot imagine the illness that Hugh would have suffered," she said, laughing wryly at the last sentence.
When Baldwin returned her smile, Maria could tell by the sound he made as he laughed. and Maria thought.
"I would like to see your smile, enslaved by the mask, one last time, my dear," she said. There was sadness on her face.
Baldwin was embarrassed. "You know it's impossible, Maria."
Maria frowned. There was a half-mocking look on her face. "Why is that impossible? Has the evil witch completely transformed your face into a silver mask?"
"No, of course not. But the man under the mask has already killed the beautiful boy you remember."
"Then how come I'm looking into that boy's eyes?"
Maria slid off the couch and sat on her knees on the floor, looking pleadingly at the man she loved. For Baldwin, this was the moment he had feared.
"I beg you, let me touch your skin one last time, my dear."
The healers did not yet know about leprosy. There was only suspicion in their conversations. Despite this, they made definite statements and the worst thing was that it was contagious. Moreover, the woman he loved wanted to touch him. If anything happened to her, she would never forgive herself. Even this idea was enough to terrify him and he quickly stood up. He was going towards the window to get away from her.
"No, Maria. Don't ask me to do this!" But his muscles had become one with his illness and betrayed him once again. Baldwin lost control of his body for a moment and stumbled. Maria cried out as he lost his balance. "My love!"
Baldwin was down on one knee, his left hand on the ground, supporting his arm.
He felt that the woman he loved had hold his arm to save her king. When he looked up, Maria looked at him with a feeling that was companions of love and fear.
"Oh Maria." He didn't want her to see him like this, but fate betrayed him once again.
Baldwin got up with Maria's help. There was almost no distance between them. They were looking into each other's eyes with love. Despite the illness, the fake marriage, the years that passed, their love had not diminished even for a day. They could see the storms in the sea of love in their eyes.
"Come on, let me touch you one last time, Baldwin."
"If it infected to you, then I'll die."
"Nothing will happen, I promise."
"How can you be so sure?"
"Because I have what those incompetent healers lack."
"What was that?"
"Wouldn't some stupid servant have been infected by now?" Maria put her hand on the mask. "If they understood enough about the disease to be sure it was contagious, why couldn't they find a cure?"
Baldwin took Maria's hand and caressed it. "Okay then, I'll take off my mask. But if you care about me at all, don't ask to see my face."
Maria objected. “But…” But Baldwin was determined.
"I want you to always remember me as beautiful, Maria. Like that child whose beauty you admired and confessed to. Otherwise, I will spend the rest of my short life as an unhappy man."
Although Maria wanted to prove that she would love him in any way possible, Baldwin's request prevented her. Maybe not with words, but nodded, avoiding her eyes.
She closed her eyes and waited. But the king had another plan. When he left the dream queen and did not return for a while, Maria opened her eyes. Baldwin approached her with a piece of black cloth in his hand. He knew that Maria was a stubborn girl, so he had to make sure her eyes were closed. His hair, made of golden threads, had fallen out, leaving a purulent, bloody scalp in its place. His facial anatomy, which resembled a Greek statue, was now in a state of great destruction. His lips were falling apart, the bones in his nose were melting. He was not ready for Maria to see him like this, and he would never be ready. His concreteness should live as a memory, in Maria's dreams.
He lifted the cloth up and folded it into a strip to fit his eyes. It was much better this way. He could now let her touch him freely. He placed the piece of cloth over Maria's eyes, wrapped it around her head, and tied it at the back as ribbon. When her eyes closed, the pinkness of her sweet lips could be seen in all its glory. What wouldn't he give to kiss those lips? Her kiss reminded him of God's forgiving side. But all he had to do was get rid of the mask. He took it off, praying that everything would go well.
While Maria was waiting for Baldwin, the world was pitch black for her. It was like a blind man trying to witness life. Her ears were much more sensitive now. She could hear the friction of the silver mask sliding across his skin. She waited. She waited for the best moment for Baldwin.
"Are you ready?" he asked. Maria had been ready for him years ago.
Baldwin gently held the girl's wrists, as cautiously as if he were holding a glass rose branch. He could not control his breathing rhythm in excitement as he brought her delicate fingers close to his deformed face. And when her fingertips finally touched his rough skin, Maria sighed with joy. He needed to feel this warmth so much that he had finally managed to overcome the despair that had been following him for years.
“Baldwin,” she said, her voice catching in her breath. The happy expression on her face gave way to a sad plea. She took his face between her hands and caressed his cheeks with the thumbs. "I missed you so much. I had a hard time not rebelling against the fate that separated us. But God rewarded me with you for my wait."
"You are the only sin I do not regret, the only sin I will not beg God to forgive me, Maria," Baldwin said. Nontheless Maria's fingers seemed to be trying to explore the face of the man she loved. She saw nothing. If someone else had been standing in front of her instead of Baldwin, it would not have mattered. Still, she saw the anatomy of his face not with her eyes but with her touch. Baldwin's words fueled the impossible love she felt for him.
"You too, my love," she said, rising on her toes and pressing her lips against the calloused, chapped lips of the man she loved. A passionate act that proves that she doesn't care about his illness. Maria's lips were the heaven Baldwin had not experienced in this life. Baldwin's lips must have been dark sin for a married woman. But this sin was only the price of their desperate separation.
They said goodbye to each other for the last time, feeling their skin, before their love was lost in the sands of Jerusalem. Baldwin's virgin lips were alive with a woman's lust, and he didn't want this moment to end. God, I wish time would stop right now. If only the fairy tale these two poor lovers were living would never end.
Maria put one arm around the king's neck. With her other hand she felt around his body and found his hand and held it. She put his hand on her breasts. She squeezed his hand together to show him that she wanted him to caress it. Baldwin's hand was on the princess's breast while her hand was on his hand. Their kisses were much more passionate now. Their tongues were dancing on the wet skin. Their lips were in awe, as if they were reading a verse from the Bible. Baldwin slid his hand from his princess's breast and down to the curve of her waist. Her body shape had such an aesthetic. Her rounded lines were satisfactory. He almost lost himself in the complicated paths of love. But he suddenly remembered that he had to protect the honor and dignity of the woman he loved. He didn't want her to see her as an unchaste woman who was cheating on husband with another man. Baldwin turned away from her. “We must stop now, my lady,” he said. “This is not right for you.” He took his mask from the table where it had been placed and began to place it on his face.
"But we both want this. Or have you given up on loving me?"
He was so close to her as he untied her blindfold, he could feel her body heat. "Maybe my body will not live thirty years, but my soul will be exalted with love for you, my queen." He said. When she removed the tape completely, Maria was once again face to face with the mask that had ruined the life of the man she loved. But despite everything, she was grateful that she could look into his eyes. "Forever," he said and she looked into his beautiful eyes as he finished the sentence.
Maria's eyes got wet again. "My love is yours forever, my king," she replied.
Unfortunately, the end of this miraculous moment came early. William called out before entering. She was startled.
"Your Majesty, I have to take the princess away now."
Baldwin caressed the girl's cheek one last time. "My moon-skinned love, with eyes brighter than the sun. You gave me the most beautiful gift in the world. Thank you, I am grateful to you."
He had so much more to say, but whatever he didn't talk about turned into tears in his eyes after she left. He had to calm down before going to the banquet and pretend that this moment had never happened.
#king baldwin x you#the leper king#king baldwin x reader#kingdom of heaven#king baldwin iv#koh fandom#edward norton#forbidden romance#forbidden love#baldwin iv x reader#love#historical crush#baldwin of jerusalem#childhood love#innocent love#medieval#middle ages#baldwin iv x oc#impossible love
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I'm Not Afraid | Chapter 24
Word Count: 3.1K Warnings: mentions of child endangerment and abuse
Story Description: (Y/N) Argent arrived at Beacon Hills to put to rest her father’s sister, Kate Argent. For the first time, her family has decided to settle down and sustain a life in this interesting small town. After 17 years, (Y/N) has the opportunity to establish interpersonal relationships but will she be ready to face the complications that come with relating to her cousin’s, Allison, friends; especially, the infamous Derek Hale. She will face the adventure of being associated with the Derek and McCall pack, as well as being faced with the discovery of certain aspects of her life she never imagined.
A/N: next couple of chapters are gonna delve into Henry's past, so hopefully I can get them out on time since I don't really have to follow a timeline.
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“I guess this is as good a time as ever to tell you,” Henry sighed as he sat on their breakfast nook table. “I think it's best if you sit down, kid.”
“Absolutely not,” Rebecca interjected. “We agreed, Henry. It is not the right time.”
“Not the right time?” the man exclaimed. “She is begging us for answers. I won't keep lying to her anymore. I've done what you wanted for long enough. (Y/N) knows the truth, and she knows it today.”
Henry and Rebecca shared a menacing stare. Each was testing to see what lines would be crossed and weighing who would be the one to break the pact they had made close to eighteen years before. The woman could see her husband's resolve strengthening as the seconds passed. He was going to tell their daughter everything, and he was going to do it now.
Henry Argent had been raised to hate the supernatural. From a young age, he had been trained and conditioned to hunt the dangerous creatures that threatened the existence of humans. And he truly believed it was the right thing to do. Being brought up by a man like Gerard Argent did not give much space to believe it was us against them.
Months after turning twenty-five, his father sent him on a solo mission to Maine on a covert hunting mission disguised as an arms deal. Gerard had wanted to send Chris, but his recent marriage to Victoria and subsequent hunter training had the younger man's entire focus. It was no secret that the man favored his two younger children, always had. The evidence was in the time he invested, in the trust he bestowed upon them, and in the cases he threw their way. But that didn't stop Henry from trying his hardest to get on his father's good graces, even if the old man did not care for it. Maybe he had known who his son was long before he'd had the chance to figure it out.
That was the moment he crossed paths with Rebecca Maynard, the oldest daughter of a fellow hunter family. They had seen each other in passing, mostly in group training, but had never gotten close enough to share a word. And since every mission needed a matriarch, and since she was of close age, she had been chosen to lead the assignment.
On the flight to Maine, his home state, Rebecca sat next to him. She was cordial enough but nothing to write home about. They mostly spoke about their mission. The werewolf pack they were hunting had allegedly been responsible for the deaths of five people so far in the town of Fort Kent, and it was rumored more were to follow. The hunters had been on high alert by the brutality of the murders—people found with their chests slashed deep enough that only one creature would be able to do it. At least, that's what they had been told.
Henry didn't think much of Rebecca then. She was attractive, smart, and charismatic enough, but simply not for him. She was the kind of girl he could see himself spending the night with, maybe a couple of months of a relationship, but anything past that was a cruel joke. One cosmically cruel joke.
Stepping foot in Maine felt like coming home. He had spent less than five years there, but something about the place called to him. It had started as a small rumbling in the pit of his stomach when he was across the country but quickly turned into an unrelenting tug that pulled him there, especially to the town of Allagash. Odd, given that he was born almost six hours away in Westbrook and had never stepped foot that far north in the state.
Yet, he did not speak of this need to go north. Instead, he settled with his team of hunters in the Argent property in Westbrook—a well-equipped and opulent home that kept appearances, just like the Argents knew to do.
“Alright,” Rebecca said as she laid out a map of Maine on the dinner table. “We are around five hours away from Fort Kent, give or take. As of now, there have been no more reports of attacks. It seems after our little werewolf friends raged six weeks back, they've been satiated. But there have been reports from our sources that a pack has been seen around the area.”
“How can we be sure it's them?” a rookie hunter asked. “I mean, it's not like they'd be walking around claiming the murders, right?”
“That's why we're here, Joseph,” she retorted as she rolled her eyes. “Tomorrow, we leave at 0600 hours for Fort Kent. I have a contact that's gotten us a hideout with all the necessary equipment to make them talk. If their information is good, we should find this pack hiding out in the Lonesome Pine Trails. Now, we know they may be violent, so if you see one that you cannot subdue, shoot to kill.”
The words fell so easily out of her mouth, Henry thought then. She was speaking about another person's life, but she valued it no more than an animal for hunting. He had been raised the same way as her, yet it had always made him uneasy to take someone's life. Maybe that's why his father had never trusted him to be more than the face of Argent weaponry. He was a good businessman but a terrible hunter—morality didn't pair well with murder, it seemed.
“Ready to go, Argent?” Rebecca asked, breaking him out of the trance he had fallen into since the night before. “I need you on top of your game today. I don't need to remind you that your father is paying real close attention to what happens here.”
“Don't need the reminder,” he sighed as he gulped the last of what was left of his coffee. “If I didn't know any better, he's hoping everything goes to shit to finally bench me.”
“Then don't give him a reason to,” she smiled. “Show him you're worth more than he gives you credit for. You're a great hunter, Henry. You just need to get out of your head.”
“Right,” he said. “It's that easy. Just get out of my head.”
But it was hard to do when he had a bit over five hours of driving to do by himself. Well, he was fine for the first three hours of the trip. He had popped an audiobook into his radio and had been able to tune out his thoughts for the first half of the book. It had been just what he had needed to clear his mind and focus on the fictitious narrative rather than the strange happenings his brain had concocted.
Yet, the closer he got to the north, the less he could concentrate on the words being read to him. There was an invisible pull that wanted him to stray off the path. He followed the trail of black SUVs up the highway, but as the minutes passed, the need to veer off track was almost unbearable. They were already so close to Fort Kent, only a few more minutes, and the job could be done. Then, he was just a plane ride away from Washington and the admiration of his father. Just a few minutes and the distraction would stop.
The cars took the exit to the town, a message appearing on Henry’s phone. They were only two minutes away from their destination. Just a right and a left after taking the exit, and they’d arrive. All he had to do was follow instructions and catch the pack that was causing a disturbance. That’s all. Follow instructions and win his father’s acceptance.
Follow instructions. Just follow the instructions.
But as the last SUV in front of him turned, he continued driving when it was his turn. He shouldn’t have; he knew that. But the pull was too strong. It made his muscles tighten, and his joints lock up. Taking the exit like he was supposed to would have been excruciatingly painful. He didn’t know how he knew that, but something deep inside him told him it would.
His phone flashed with message after message, call after call, but he ignored them all. He pressed his foot on the gas and didn’t look back. That was the moment he noticed his GPS hadn't even been programmed to Fort Kent. Allagash Wilderness Waterway, the screen read. Henry didn't remember ever writing that, but he also didn't remember writing the correct coordinates, either. Hell, he didn't even recall touching the machine at all. Yet, he didn't question why he was driving three more hours to the forest. The man simply kept driving.
The magnetism grew the less distance that stood between him and the woods. He'd only gone to the Allagash wilderness once when he was younger. His father had taken Chris and him there on a supposed camping trip. He had been fifteen and his brother just shy of twelve—Kate was only a couple of weeks old. The kids had been excited to spend time outdoors with their dad. With a baby at home, everything had come to a standstill with their training, all the focus set on crying Kate. They rarely had any bonding time, given their father's job either way, but it was one of the only moments they thought they could share with the Argent patriarch. But Gerard wasn't planning to spend a weekend with his kids by the campfire, singing and having fun.
No, he had something else in store.
The second they had arrived at the site, the man told his children to unpack the car. They each had a backpack they had packed, a tent, a cooler, and their father's own duffel. When they were done, they turned to search for their father, excited to know what he had in store. Instead, they were met with Gerard locking the car doors and lowering his window.
“It's time you boys learn how to survive on your own,” he had said. “In my bag, you have what you need to survive. All you gotta do is make it these seven days by yourselves.”
“Dad, you can't be serious,” Henry had chuckled dryly. But the stoic stare in his father's eyes told him all he needed to know. “At least take Chris with you. He's too young.”
“That boy is old enough because I say he is,” the man spat. “Now, it's your job as the oldest to make sure your brother survives, too. Do you hear me, Henry? If anything happens to Christopher, it'll be on your hands.”
The older Argent boy wasn’t able to be anything but proactive—not when his brother needed him. He had rummaged through their bags, quickly setting up the tent and making an inventory of the supplies they had. They would be well fed for the night, but it was clear he would have to hunt, fish, and scavenge for other foods. Even with precise rationing, the food they had come with would not keep their energy at a maximum.
Henry then used what was left of the sunlight to search for branches and tinder to build a fire for the night. The spot they were in wasn’t exactly a designated camping spot, and he couldn’t be sure what surrounded them. He had to work fast, fighting against the rapid decline of natural light. They only had two flashlights and no batteries to replace them. His father had said seven days, but he’d also said they would all spend the weekend together.
“Come here, Chris,” he called to his terrified brother. “I’m gonna show you how to make a fire, okay? Tomorrow morning, we’ll go in search of water. That’s the most important thing.”
“I don’t want to,” the younger boy had pouted. “Dad needs to come back. This is useless! We have money, Henry. Why would we ever need this shit?”
“Whether we ever use this or not after this week doesn’t matter, Chris. Right now, we only have food for tonight, maybe tomorrow if we ration it well,” he explained sternly. “Dad is not coming back, do you hear me? You need to learn this because, like it or not, we have to survive here.”
“We can get help,” Chris muttered as he crossed his arms in resignation. “Find some campsite near us and ask them to get us out.”
“You really don’t know dad, huh?” he chuckled. “He probably has made sure there won’t be a soul for miles, Chris. You don’t know him like I do. He told us to survive the week. We won’t go home unless we do.”
That night, Chris had cried for hours about going home. But by morning, he knew just how serious his father had been. And after two weeks, he learned how evil his father could be.
During that time, Henry taught his brother how to hunt and fish, his to skin an animal and drain it of its blood, how to conserve meat for longer, how to conceal his tracks, and how to read nature to keep himself safe. In those fourteen days, the older boy learned and taught as he went. His knowledge of survival had been good enough to keep him and his brother safe. But not without casualties.
When their father had returned, instead of receiving them with open arms and a congratulatory speech, his eyes went to Chris’ wounded arm. “I asked you for one thing, boy,” he spat. “You couldn’t keep your brother safe?”
“Dad, no. He…”
“Don’t defend him, Chris.” His eyes were red with fiery anger. He didn’t care that Henry had been hurt as well, a nasty gash from his face down to his upper arm. All he cared was that he had failed. “At least you were useful enough to keep him alive. Next time, he better come back home unharmed. I don’t need your mother’s nagging about him getting hurt. Am I understood?”
“Whatever,” Henry had muttered under his breath as he walked past his father to the car.
But Gerard stopped him by taking hold of his arm and squeezing unrelentingly. “What was that, boy?” he seethed. “The words out of your mouth better be “yes, sir,” or you might find yourself alone in these woods for far longer. So, you wanna say that again, boy? Are you going to make sure your brother doesn’t get hurt like he did this time?”
“Yes,” the boy said through gritted teeth, “sir.”
Chris had healed in a month, with barely a scratch left over as proof he had ever gotten hurt. Meanwhile, Henry was left with a scar that traveled from his neck to his arm. Thankfully, the cut on his face had healed, but he was left with a reminder of just how unimportant he was to his father. And it wouldn't be the last time the man would confirm it.
As he neared the wilderness, the memories of that moment flashed in his mind. The scar started to itch, and he began to think maybe it was time to turn around. Still, he remained on the road, no longer following the GPS, but rather the aching in his joints. There was nothing that could guide him better than that invisible thread that pulled him to the woods.
Henry came to a point where he couldn't drive anymore. It came down to pushing on with his SUV and risking damaging his only method of transportation or canceling it where he would find it if need be. The man was a hunter, and those woods were already second nature to him. Plus, he had the unmistakable inner guidance of whatever was calling him deeper into the forest. Maybe he was walking into a trap, but it was a chance he was willing to make.
The man strapped his backpack on his back and a rifle on his arms and set off to follow the invisible path that his body was setting. Every step he took was sure, and there was no hesitation in any of his decisions. If he thought right, he turned right. If he thought left, he turned left. He had never walked to somewhere he didn’t know with so much confidence.
With every foot he put of distance between himself and his car, Henry felt the pull getting stronger. He was going the right way, but he didn’t know why. What was waiting for him at the end of that invisible rope? Maybe someone had cursed him, and he was walking toward his death. Maybe he had finally lost his mind. But the maybes didn’t stop his stride. Henry kept going deep into the forest, following whatever it was that had brought him there. Deeper and deeper he went, forgetting his mission and forgetting his family. Whatever waited for him was his fate, and he would stop at nothing to follow it.
Suddenly, he entered a remarkably quiet patch of land, and quiet in the woods meant danger. He set his backpack on the ground along with his rifle, pulling out instead his handgun from his belt loop. A branch snapped behind him, and he turned toward the sound. It wasn’t an animal running in fear—it was far too precise and calculated. Whoever was out there had chosen to break that branch to get him turned around.
Without thinking twice, Henry turned back around in time to feel claws dig into his arms. The force of the person’s jump was enough to throw him to the ground, but not before he raised his arms to protect himself. His gun had been smacked from his hand, and all he had was his own strength to fight against whatever was attacking him.
The strength and the claws of his attacker could only mean one thing. He was fighting a werewolf with nothing other than his strength, and he wouldn’t survive with that alone. The man knew he needed to get his gun back, one way or another.
They stumbled on the ground as they fought for dominance, punches, and jabs thrown around blindly. It would be a fight to the death, and Henry had to make sure his prize was his life.
“Henry?” the attacker said as they pinned him to the ground as though he weighed nothing. “Henry Argent?”
When he finally looked up, Henry was met with a face he hadn’t seen in over a decade. “Raina,” he breathed. “Is that really you?”
Next ->
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#andreafmn#i'm not afraid#im not afraid#derek hale#derek hale imagine#teen wolf#teen wolf imagine#teen wolf rewrite#fanfiction#fan fiction#writing#angst#teen wolf fanfiction#teen wolf fic#teen wolf fandom#derek hale x reader#derek hale x you#derek hale x y/n#eventual smut#eventual romance#eventual fluff#eventual happy ending#childhood love#original character#flashback#memories#heavy angst#angst with a happy ending#ao3 fanfic#fanfic writing
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Never forget | Go eunhyeok
Note : what if go eunhyeok met his childhood love ?!
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Go eunhyeok pov
Suddenly, I found Y/N lying unconscious on the ground and her nose was bleeding. I carried her in the position of the bride and rushed her to the school clinic. Sue was walking behind me.
We rushed her to the doctor to examine her. She just said that her blood pressure decreased, especially with the ball hitting her head that happened to her. She lost consciousness. She installed a glucose solution for her and asked us to let her rest.
Su Ae and I kept sitting next to her. But I told Su ae that she could go to the lessons and write down the explanations and assignments. Su ae went and I stayed next to y/n .
Finally she opened her eyes and tried to get up, but I prevented her and told her that she should rest, but she tried to sit on the bed and I put a pillow behind her back to make it more comfortable.
"What happened?" she said. "You passed out and I brought you here, you must not be eating well." I said that while sitting on the chair next to her bed.
She noded her head looking at me and then said, "I'm fine, now you can go to classes." She said..."It's okay, I also find it an opportunity to escape from class, I also told Su Ae to write down the explanation for us"... "How was Su Ae?"..." She was crying until her eyes were swollen Especially since Minu's goal was to throw the ball at her, she felt guilty and thought that the reason is that you lost consciousness . But the doctor said that your blood pressure fall so that's why you lost consciousness " .. " oh I see " she already looked tired so I didn't talk much.
We stayed silent for a while till she said . " Do you want to listen to music? " She handed me one of her earphones , I stand up and set next to her in the bed , She moved a little to create space for me, and I took the earphone from her and put it in my ear.
We just started listening, I don't know, but maybe the music revived my memory.
*Flashback*
I was five years old, at kindergarten school, sitting alone in the school yard after my friends left me and did not let me play with them, I was crying until I felt someone's hand on my shoulder to look and find it was a girl of the same age as me , "Why are you crying?" she said, "my friends left me." She hugged me as she sat beside me patting me on the back and said "Don't be sad I'm here and we can be friends" I immediately cheered up and wiped away my tears "Really?" "Yes, we will be friends forever" She extended her pinky finger. "Pinky promise " "yes pinky promise " I also extended my pinky finger.
I was interrupted from the remembrance by The feeling of her head as she leaned on my shoulder , she fell asleep . I looked at her, I didn't even notice I was smiling all this time, old feelings seem to be back now .
#operation true love#go eunhyeok#pure love operation#webtoon#webtoon x reader#go eunhyeok xreader#manhwa#eunhyeok#x reader#manhwa x reader#childhood love#su ae#Spotify
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Hii! Thought i'd pop by And ask.. Did you become a tintin fan after you watched the 2011 movie Or read One of the books?
I remember that since i was in kindergarten, at the age of 6, i fell in love with Tintin. The only contact i had until the year 2011 was with the animated series from 1991. Unfortunately, i never had the opportunity to have his comics, so i kind of turned to look for more of Tintin when i had internet access in the mid-2013, where i delved deeper into it and managed to watch the live action and other animated content like the lakes of sharks.
I still don't have a Tintin collection 😔, but with the support of the internet i managed to read two comics – but i still hope to read more and have the opportunity to have the books in hand.
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fox_and_blueberry
#hoop embroidery#embroidery#country living#country life#country aesthetic#summer aesthetic#spring aesthetic#country summer#country spring#childhood memories#childhood#childhood love#summer embroidery#summer art#cozy atmosphere#cozy vibes
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I love so much the fact that Damian did everything to get Anya to dance with him without the others knowing he wants it by using this competition as an excuse so the others don't know he wants to dance with one" commoner" for fear of tarnishing the Desmonds' reputation🥹😭🥰
at the beginning damian kept repeating that he wouldn't dance with anyone and when ewen and emil started this competition he complained and ordered them to stop but when he saw that anya was starting to win he resigned himself and even told them to continue. 🥹😍
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When We Were Angels || Drarry || WIP
At the age of five, Draco knew Harry would be his best friend.
At the age of seven, Draco asked Harry to stay with him forever.
At the age of ten, Draco’s world crumbled after being taken away from Harry.
—Or,
On Halloween 1981, two babies were brought to Woldvale Orphanage: the son of a Death Eater and the Boy Who Lived. Despite all logic and expectations, the two of them end up forging a bond that would cross the tides of first love, growing up and apart.
READ HERE
I'm finally back with another long Drarry fic! What a journey… and I’m lucky enough to share it with my lovely beta, @pl0tty ❤️
#drarry#drarry fanfic#ao3#drarry fic rec#childhood love#Draco & Harry grow up together#draco x harry#my wip fic
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'for old time's sake' is such a beautiful phrase.
You're asking them to do something for the love that once was, for a time that has long passed.
#young poets#love#poetry#love poem#love quotes#poets on tumblr#female writers#childhood#nostalgia#nostalgic art#artwork#writing#writerscommunity#spilled poetry#love poetry#original poem#haha#love love love#loneliest#childhood love#70s#cats#flowers#kittens
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Puppy Love
(one-shot)
Chishiya x shy!reader [gn!reader]
/ᐠ。ꞈ。ᐟ\/ᐠ。ꞈ。ᐟ\/ᐠ。ꞈ。ᐟ\/ᐠ。ꞈ。ᐟ\/ᐠ。ꞈ。ᐟ\/ᐠ。ꞈ。ᐟ\/ᐠ。ꞈ。ᐟ\
You've never seen a pretty boy before. It made your heart race in ways you didn't quite understand yet.
Shuntaro Chishiya. The new student in your class and now the most beautiful boy in 6th grade.
"My mom says it's rude stare"
Chishiya was very quiet but he wasn't that unaware of his surroundings that he would overlook your blatant staring
You almost jumped at the realisation that you've been caught.
"Hey! don't just run away"
The boy tilted his head,not bothering to run after.
What a strange person you were
~*~*~*~*~*~*
You don't know why but you found yourself constantly wanting to look at him.
But you were smarter this time,taking quick glances.
Even then Chishiya noticed but he decided not to acknowledge it this time.
~*~*~*~*~*~
It was a cleanup period and Chishiya was wiping the windows with a damp cloth. He was blissfully daydreaming until something caught his eye. You.
He watched you closely,climbing that half wall. Yon probably got a scraped knee or two. Just for a stupid flower? What an idiot you were.
"Shuntaro, please clean. Now's not the time for daydreaming"
The teacher brought him out of his own thoughts. He offered a polite smile,nodding. "Hai! Sorry Sensei"
He'd rather her assume he was daydreaming than have other people know he was actually watching you.
~*~*~*~*~*
Chishiya was packing away when he saw something on his desk. A flower. It looked just like the one he'd seen you try to reach.
"Huh"
He glanced at you,almost amused by seeing you quickly look away and busy yourself with packing up as to not seem suspicious.
What was he supposed to do with a flower? You really were an idiot
~*~*~*~*~*
"Moom Shuntaro got flowers from a classmate!"
Leave it to his older sister Kuina to make a big fuss. "No I didn't!"
He huffed,glancing down at the wildflowers in his hand. "It's nothing"
He felt like his entire face was in fire,cheeks turning a light red.
"Don't touch it!"
"Why? I thought you said it was nothing"
Kuina was a loving older sister but she also took great pleasure in tormenting her younger brother.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Chishiya sighed. The older he got the more he was regretting going to medical school.
He leaned back,glancing at a small box. He moved out of his parents house,leaving most of his old stuff behind to live that minimalistic life.
But he kept that box. As a kid if he found something special it would all go in that little box.
He found himself picking up the lid of the box and going through things just to remind himself of simpler times.
That's when something caught his eye.
Wilted wildflowers. Without a doubt they'd crumble under the smallest touch so he didn't dare touch them but he couldn't help but almost smile when he saw them.
/ᐠ。ꞈ。ᐟ\/ᐠ。ꞈ。ᐟ\/ᐠ。ꞈ。ᐟ\/ᐠ。ꞈ。ᐟ\/ᐠ。ꞈ。ᐟ\/ᐠ。ꞈ。ᐟ\/ᐠ。ꞈ。ᐟ\
#chishiya shuntaro#chishiya x oc#aib chishiya#chishiya alice in borderland#chishiya x reader#chishiya x you#chishiya x y/n#gn reader#gender neutral reader#fluff#aib fluff#puppy love#childhood love#innocent love
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