#Charles leaving everything to eric is so funny I’m sorry

[hamletthedane]

imagine you go into X-men ‘97 thinking it's another cool superhero show where they fight bad guys, deal with mutant discrimination, etc etc

but turns out it's really a three-season long lawsuit in probate court contesting the Last Will and Testament of Charles Xavier. the X-men have to prove by preponderance of the evidence that Charles Xavier was unduly influenced to change his will to benefit Magneto. Magneto must prove to the jury that his relationship with Prof X met the legal standard of common law marriage (they secretly lived together, they held themselves out to the public as a married couple, etc). Wolverine accidentally kills the bailiff and has to prove his innocence.

I mean, *I* would watch that

[cdc1345711]

Cartoon-Force Scene-Charles’ Interrogation

(Ever since the Cartoon-Force enter the world of Zootopia they have been a pain in the GSD’s side so the GSD decided to capture them all bu only capturing about 14 or so C-Forcers so Charles had a plan to rescue them and to do so------he had to be captured himself-so since his capture Charles was sent to be interrogated by the GSD best agents)

Charles:So-you two are the ones who are gonna try to spill my guts?”

Jack:Agent Jack Savage and Cynthia Walker-and yes we are here to interrogate you Mr.Coburn”

Cynthia:It’s funny how that when we ran you through the computers it found no information on you or any of your teammates”

Charles:Well for one thing-me and my team aren’t from your world”

Jack:So if you’re not from this reality then why are you here?”

Charles:Why else-to raise your department Hell and to beat the ever living shit out of bad guys”

Cynthia:So your team is a bunch of lawless vigilantes”

Charles:Well we don’t necessarily believe villains should have ‘civil rights’ especially if they believe in the ex Zootopia mayor’s cause”

Jack:Zootopia’s ex-mayor?”

Charles:Bellwether the sheep bitch who turned innocent predators into savages and tried to turn Zootopians against each other”

Jack:Is that why you killed her?”

Charles:Sniper to the skull-instant death yes-but I don’t think you’re concerned with the death of one stupid sheep are you?”

Jack:Not in the least”

Cynthia:We want to know exactly how many are in your forces”

Jack:And the locations of all your bases”

Charles:(Snickers than laugh loudly)HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAAA-You got to be pretty stupid if you think i’ll sell my team out”

Cynthia:Talk or-”

Charles:Or WHAT-you can’t kill me,not because you need the info but because I can rapidly heal even if you destroy my body it’ll just grow back”

Jack:You expect us to believe you’re unkillable?”

Charles:Only one way to find out Jackie boy”

Jack:You’ll refrain from calling me ‘Jackie’”

Charles:Is it because that’s what your mother called you before she passed(both Cynthia and Jack made shocked expressions)which I’m sorry to hear by the way,I lost my mother too”

Jack:H-How the Hell did you know that?”

Charles:I know everything about the agents of the GSD-including Cynthia’s traumatic past in those camps-hope you got all those polar bear bastards,lord knows if you didn’t my team would have found them and ended it permanently”

Cynthia:Impossible-no one out the GSD knows-”

Charles:Before we head into a new dimension my team and I find out all we need to know about our future enemies......or allies”

Jack:(After hearing him say ‘Allies’)You really think we can be allies?”

Charles:Depends-”

Cynthia:On what?”

Charles:How well you treat my team-you do whatever Hellish shit you want to me but you so much as lay a paw or scratch on either of the 21 C-Forcers prisoners here I will raise Hell on this department”

Jack:And how would you do that while your locked in a cage with them?”

Charles:Let me answer your question with one of my own-you think this is the first time I allowed my self to get captured?”

(Jack and Cynthia look at Charles as he gives them a wise ass smile and they leave)

Charles:There’s one last thing I got to say”

Both:What”

Charles:I don’t know what horrific shit happened to make you two dislike each other but you need to let it go and talk it over-might make your lives happier on the account of if you really didn’t give a damn about each other then you Miss Walker wouldn’t be wearing Mister Savage’s necklace he got you on your birthday”

(Jack and Cynthia furiously leave the interrogation room)

Jack:Put Mister Coburn in with the other ‘Cartoon-Force’ prisoners”

(Prisoners take Charles to the cell with the others)

Jack:What do you think of him Walker?”

Cynthia:He’s a rude,vulgar creature with no respect for mammal’s privacy”

Jack:For once I agree-but he did say one point”

Cynthia:And what would that be Savage?”

Jack:After what happened on ‘that day’ why do you still wear that necklace I got you?”

Cynthia:(Eye’s widen)Because......It’s too good of a necklace to forget it”

Jack:(Confused)Alright-and there’s the other question he said ‘You think this is the first time I let myself get captured’”

Cynthia:You think he’s planning a Jailbreak with his team?”

Jack:It’s a high possibility-we must tell the guards to keep extra eyes on Charles Coburn and the Cartoon-Force-before he can exact his plans”

(Charles is in his cell sitting on his bed with his eyes closed)

Charles:(In his head)’Eric you there?’

Eric:’I am’

Charles:’I’m in tell the other to be ready with phase 2′

THE END

[didiletyouknooow]

55. Minor Thing

Hey, 

chapter 55! Thank you for reading every chapter and supporting me. The next two chapters are special in a way....I really hope you like it!  <3

___________________________

August

„What a great show!“ I told Sebastian when he left the stage. He smiled and gave me a kiss.

I was accompanying him on tour the last two weekends. His band played some small and two bigger German festivals. This one was the last one. I was always standing at the side of the stage and watched their gig together with the engineers and some of the other girlfriends who came to their shows. They were all very nice. The whole crew was. Tonight it was the last festival gig of the season so the band organized a little party backstage. It’s not that they didn’t party during their tour. They did it every night and sometimes I was a little bit tired of it. I mean, okay it’s fun and great to be at a festival and see all those great bands playing and afterwards getting into the backstage room or into the night liner having a few drinks and then playing the next gig on the next day. But I was a bit bored of it because every night was just the same.

Sebastian noticed that I didn’t want to party anymore. I was still hangover from last night. But seemed like the band wasn’t. It’s like they were 18 again. “Hey um, what’s wrong with you?” he asked me. At least he wasn’t drunk yet. “Nothing….I just don’t like to party tonight” “Hm….are you feeling sick?” “No, I’m just bored of all this party stuff” “Well” he sighed. “I know we did it a lot in the past weeks but….you know, festival season is a great season and we’re just fucking happy to live this life, play on stage every night. We’re playing the biggest festivals in Germany” “I know….and I’m so happy for you. But tonight I’m not in the mood to party. But, go and have fun, okay?” “Well….but without you it’s not the same” he said and pursed his lips. “Basti” I chuckled. I always called him like that when he was cute to me. And now he was. “Okay, but only a few drinks okay?” I said and got up from the chair. “Great” he grinned.

The guys in the backstage room were already tipsy. There were beer and liquor bottles everywhere. They definitely understood how to party I thought. Sebastian gave me a beer and we talked with his band mate for a while. I even started dancing together with him and the other guys and girls. It was okay, but I was still tired. Plus, it was so fucking hot and sweaty in this room. I needed some fresh air to breathe so I went outside.

The backstage area was next to a forest so it was a nice location. I said down at  a bench and looked at my phone. Molly sent me a pic of her little baby. Two weeks ago she gave birth to a healthy little baby girl. Eric called me after the baby was born. It must’ve been a difficult birth and it lasted very long. I felt so bad for Molly because in the end they had to do a c-section. She always wanted a natural birth but it didn’t work. But in the end the most important thing was that mother and baby wouldn’t get into trouble. So after 20 hours little Lorraine was born. On August 20. Andrew Garfields birthday. I thought about this crazy night last year when I met him. At that night I definitely wanted to party. Now I was just sitting here hoping that this night would end soon or at least my boyfriend wanted to go to bed.

I heard some noise coming from the stage. I looked at the time table and realized that Billy Talent were playing as the headliner. So I decided to go to the stage to watch their show. I texted Sebastian that I would come back afterwards. Thanks to my backstage All Access Pass I was able to watch the show from the stage. They were so great and they reminded me of my youth. I was 16 when I listened to them for the first time.

When I heard the first chords of “Surrender” I suddenly started crying. I didn’t know why. Everything was fine, I was okay. I mean, I was here with my boyfriend who just played a great show in the early evening. Everything was supposed to be fine, right? Why was I crying?

  “I think I found a flower in a field of weeds, I think I found a flower in a field of weeds. Searching until my hands bleed, This flower don't belong to me. Searching until my hands bleed, This flower don't belong to me. This flower don't belong to me. Why cant she belong to me? Every word, every thought every sound. Every touch, every smile, every frown. All the pain we've endured until now. All the hope that I lost you have found.” (Billy Talent - Surrender)

 Suddenly I heard a female voice talking to me. “Is everything okay?” a brunette woman asked me. I looked at her and nodded. Then I wiped my tears away. “Yes” I said. “It’s just….this song is so emotional and it reminds me of my youth” "Oh, I can relate to this” she laughed. “Not with this band but….with some songs in general” “That’s the strength of music” I said. “It definitely is! Music can do so much more than just being music. It lets you feel emotions you never felt before” she told me. Wow. Who was this woman? She sounded so wise and we shared the same definition about music!

We kept watching Billy Talents gig until they left the stage. It was awesome! Such a likeable band. Their singer, Ben, was so nice and funny on stage. They people were going crazy the whole time. “By the way I’m Emily” she said when the gig was over. We shook hands. “Eileen” I said. “Oh lovely name” Emily smiled. “Thank you” “So….why are you here at the side of the stage?” she wanted to know. “Are you working here?” “No….” I laughed. “My boyfriend played here today” “Oh great!” “What about you?” “Well” she chuckled. “I played here too” “Really?” “Yes….” “In a band?” I had no idea who she was. “Yep, my band is called Warpaint. We played on the other stage” “Oh….I’ve never heard of you. Sorry” I felt a bit embarrassed. “No problem. We’re not very mainstream” she grinned.

We talked for a while and Emily told me about their tour through Europe. Suddenly she started talking about her home town LA. “Wait” I interrupted her. “You’re from LA?” “Yes” “Me too!” “What? Really? Well to be honest, I already thought you’re from the states but I didn’t think you’re from California. Where in LA did you live?” “In….El Sereno” I said because this was the last place I lived. I wondered if Josh was still living there. I bet he wouldn’t leave his house soon. “Oh I have some friends who live there. They’re also musicians” she told me. “I think many creative people live there” “Defnitely!”

Emily and I walked back to the backstage area where we ordered some beer and kept talking. Suddenly I remembered that I once heard of her band before some years ago. But I didn’t know her. I asked her some questions about her band and she told me that they are doing music for many years now and they toured Europe and of course the States several times. She said she was hoping people didn’t think they only got a bit more successful because they had a popular producer for their first EP. I asked her who it was and when she mentioned John Frusciante I wondered if she also knew Josh? “He was just helping us with the recording and producing stuff, you know” she told me. “We’re friends with him….he was my boyfriend at that time but that’s all. We as a band always wrote our songs and music without any other person or help” “Wow, I didn’t know he produced it. Well, now he has a lot of time doing stuff like that” I joked. “He still makes music but no mainstream music….” Emily told me. “He left the Chilis after their biggest tour and his friend Josh replaced him” “I know” “Of course” she laughed. “I mean, everyone knows this band. Sometimes I forget it” “No I mean….I know them. Personally. I know Josh.” “Oh he’s a lovely person” “He is” I agreed with her. “How do you know him?” She asked me. I thought about it for a few seconds but finally said “I used to….date him”. “What really?” Emily looked at me with a questioning face. “Yes” I nodded. “It’s two years ago but….I know him and the band” “What a funny coincidence.” Emily said. “We’re not just both from LA, we also both dated one of the guitarists of the Chilis….the world is so small” she grinned.  Emily and I kept talking for a while. Eventually Sebastian came to us. “Um there you are” he said a bit perplexed when he saw Emily and me sitting in the backstage area. “Yes, sorry I forgot to come back!” I realized when I looked at the watch. It was already 1am. “It’s okay” he laughed and looked at Emily. I introduced both of them and they shook hands. My boyfriend seemed a bit lost. What happened to him? “Well I guess I have to go now. Thanks for the talk Emily, maybe we’ll see again in LA some day” I told her and then took Sebastian’s hand to go back to his band’s backstage room. 

“What is wrong with you?” I asked Sebastian who kept looking back to Emily for quite some time. “Eileen” he said. “You met Emily from Warpaint!” “Um yes, actually I didn’t know who she is” I grinned. “She’s a goddess!” my boyfriend suddenly said. “She’s so gorgeous and pretty and I always adored her!” This was the moment I started laughing. Now I understood. He liked her and was totally embarrassed and nervous to meet her. I couldn’t stop laughing. “Well this isn’t funny” he said.

  October

I looked at my phone. I starred at the screen for minutes. Josh’s number was looking at me but I didn’t do anything. It was his 39

th

birthday and I thought about congratulating him. But since he didn’t congratulate me on my birthday I wasn’t sure if I should do it. Maybe he didn’t want to do anything with me anymore. Maybe he already forgot me. Maybe he didn’t want to be friends with me anymore.

“Hey my little baby” I said when I noticed a little furball at my knees. It was Vilma. Sebastian’s and my new puppy. After more than one year of relationship and living together we decided it was time for the next step and since we both like dogs very much we adopted this little Cavalier King Charles Spaniel. She was only nine weeks old and we both fell in love with her immediately. She was so cute.

 December

 I was so excited! My family would visit us here in Germany for the Holidays. Everyone was coming: my parents and even my brother Marc with his little family. Sebastian and I were so happy that both our families could finally meet. It was a wonderful Christmas time this year. Sebastian and I prepared everything for some great days. The first Christmas day we spent at our home, my mother and I cooked some American traditional food. The next day we went to Sebastian’s family who even welcomed my family very open. They all got along very well and I was just happy for celebrating Christmas in Germany for the first time since I was a child!

Vilma was happy too because Sebastian’s parents have two dogs with whom she could’ve played the whole day. All in all it was just a great time and I didn’t miss anything or anyone.

On the last day of the year I skyped with Molly – and of course with little baby Lorraine. “You both look so fucking happy” I told her. Molly smiled all over her face. You could see that this little baby made her the happiest person in the world I knew. “Thanks….wow Eileen you can’t believe how happy I am. How happy we both are. Eric is just the best dad in the world and….wow, I still can’t believe that we were allowed to spent our first Christmas with our child” “It must’ve been a great and special time of the year” “Oh it was!” she said. “Of all the Christmas days prior in my life, nothing could beat this year’s Christmas. Spending Christmas with your child for the first time is the best thing in the world” Silence. This was a moment I thought about my lost baby again. I didn’t think about it very often in the last year but in moments like this I did. It was already 2.5 years. Our baby would’ve turned two in November…. “Sorry honey. I didn’t want to make you sad” I heard Molly saying. “No it’s…..it’s okay” I faked a smile. “I’m still so sorry” “It’s okay Molly. I’m fine. I’m over it. I’m over Josh and the baby loss and….everything. I’m happy with Sebastian and we adopted a little puppy in October who is the best and cutest thing in the world” I said and took Vilma on my lap to show Molly how cute she was. “She’s very cute” Molly agreed with me.

We kept talking about the Holidays and how we were going to spend New Years Eve. I told her that Sebastian and my family were partying in our flat doing some raclette. This was just a tradition in our family. Surely Molly only wanted to spend it with Lorraine and Eric. But the little family was invited at a friend’s house with some dinner and just having a nice evening. Molly was looking forward to it. “Who will be there? Do I know some friends you meet at the dinner party?” “Um….well” she said and it was the look on her face that revealed me what she was thinking about. “Will Josh be there?” I then asked her because I already knew. After our encounter at Molly’s Baby Shower we didn’t talk. We stopped texting and weren’t connected anymore. I guess that’s just what happens if one person finds a new partner. In our case I did. I didn’t feel bad about it….it’s just life. “Yes he will be there” Molly finally told me. “Oh okay….how is he doing?” I asked her. “Well actually” Molly started. I knew if she started a sentence like this she was still figuring out how to tell me the following information. “Molly, I’m not 18 anymore. You can tell me. Did he marry yet? Is he becoming a father?” I joked. “No….” Molly said. “But he finally found someone. He has a new girlfriend” “Really? Great!” I honestly felt happy for him. If he was happy then I was happy, right? “Who is she?” “Her name is Helen….she’s very nice. Such a nice person. She’s around his age and everyone fell in love with her very quickly. She’s just a very handsome, gentle and down to earth person” “Sounds like a serious relationship” “It is….I guess. They’re dating for half a year now” “Great” I smiled. “And she’s already having a daughter” “Oh….okay” “Yes….Josh is doing great as a step dad and getting along with her daughter very well” “Sounds great” I said. “Although it surprises me that he wants to date someone who has a child. I always thought he didn’t want to have kids” “Yes, after everything that happened to you two he didn’t. But seems like he has fallen in love again and we all know, you can’t control with whom you fall in love” “That’s aright….” I sighed. “They even moved into his house. So….I guess he’s very serious with her” Wow. I wondered why he was doing it. It took him so long to ask me if I wanted to move in with him. And now this woman and her daughter were already living in his house in El Sereno? “Sounds very serious” I commented. “Yes but….it’s just because there was some trouble in Helen’s life and Josh decided that it would be the best if she and her daughter will move to LA. He cares about them very much”

Later that night I was laying in my bed and couldn’t sleep. It was great to spend New Years Eve with my family. We had a wonderful night and I went to bed at 3am. But while Sebastian fell asleep very fast I laid there awake. I thought about what Molly told me about Josh. I couldn’t believe he was dating a woman with a child. It sounded so….serious. He must care very well about them. Although I didn’t know what happened to Helen that Josh decided it would be the best if they would move into his house but….this sounded so untypical for Josh. He only acted like this if he was very serious. So he must’ve fallen in love again. After all these stories about his hook ups with young girls in the last years he must’ve finally found someone. When I heard about his hook ups before I knew that he didn’t have anything serious yet. He was just having fun and was still single. Just to know that he was still single calmed me down. I didn’t know why. But now that Molly told me about Josh’s new girlfriend I suddenly felt sadness deep inside of me. Maybe even a bit of jealousy. Although I didn’t know Helen I felt like I couldn’t hate her. She seemed very nice and maybe she was the one he needed. Maybe she was the one who made him happy.

 February

 I was walking along the Mulholland  Drive. I just loved it. This was one of the best places in LA. I loved the view I had when I arrived at one special place on the route. It gave you the best view over LA ever. I didn’t know any better place in this city. Yes I was back in LA. But just for a vacation. In Germany there was a semester break so I decided to fly back home to LA for three weeks. Sadly Sebastian had to work on their new record in Berlin and couldn’t join me but I was happy to finally see my loved ones again. I spent some days in my parent’s house, helped them with the garden and made some barbecue. Then I visited my brother and we did some tours through LA together with his kids. Noel was six years and already attending school! Wow, I couldn’t believe it! He grew so fast. I think every time I saw him again after a while I said these words.

But my brother and I also did some hikes. Just the two of us. Like we used to do when we were teenagers. We had some great conversations about life, about dreams and hopes and it was the first time I told him that I thought about living in Berlin forever. I couldn’t imagine it. I loved Berlin and I loved living in this city right now. But I couldn’t imagine living there forever. I still saw myself living in LA some day. I wanted to grow old in this city. This was my home, my family and friends lived here and I couldn’t imagine growing old in another city. I also couldn’t believe starting a family far away from LA. They should be born and raised here.

I also met Molly and visited her and little Lorraine for the first time. It felt so good to have another niece. Lorraine was so cute and she also grew so fast! Molly and Eric looked tired but they also looked like the happiest couple around.

So after almost three weeks of being back in LA it was time to fly back to Berlin. But on one of my last days here in California I did a hike just by myself on the Mulholland  Drive. When I was standing at the top of it and took a look at the city suddenly a dog passed me. He was very big and started jumping and snuffing at me. He even licked my hands. I didn’t know this dog but he looked so cute. A bit tousled but I liked dogs like him.

Suddenly I heard a woman screaming his name. First I couldn’t understand it but when the woman came closer I could totally understand his name.

“Bowie! Where are you? Come back!” she screamed. Then she saw me and the dog. I wanted to grab his collar but realized that he didn’t have one. “Oh god, there you are!” the woman said relieved when she saw us. Bowie was sitting next to me smiling. Yes dogs can smile! “Jesus Christ Bowie! What did you do? Why did you run away?” the woman asked her dog. “Sorry, he just ran away so fast I couldn’t stop him” she apologized. “Emma, why didn’t you take care?” she asked her probably eight year old daughter. “Sorry mom, he was so fast” “Yeah, I know” the brunette woman was a bit stressed out but definitely happy that her dog didn’t get lost. “It’s my boyfriend’s dog and sometimes he’s just a little bit crazy” the woman told me. “But it seems as if he really likes you” she said laughing when she saw that Bowie was still licking my fingers. “I’m still sorry”. “Oh it’s totally okay. I have a dog myself. She’s not here but I get along very well with dogs” I told her. “Emma, please next time you give me the dog leash” the woman said while leashing Bowie. Then they said goodbye and went away. I kept looking at them. Although I didn’t know this dog I was wondering why he ran directly to me. I mean, I’ve never seen him before.

Well, sometimes crazy things happen.

 July

Sebastian and I packed our bags and took a flight to Canada to travel with a caravan through the country. We even traveled through Alaska and experienced so many beautiful places. These four weeks went by so fast. It was one of the best adventures in my life. I felt so close to the nature of our wonderful planet. During this journey my feelings for Sebastian got deeper and one day I even caught me thinking about staying in Berlin forever – or at least for a longer time than these planned two years. I had one year to go now but thinking about leaving Berlin and Sebastian made me sad. He was my rock, he was always there for me, I never felt so close to someone. Yes, I even didn’t feel so close to Josh. Although Josh’s and my relationship was very close we weren’t as close as Sebastian and me. Maybe it was because Josh started to distance himself from me at the end of our relationship. I often found myself wondering who he really was.

I forgot all the discussions I had with Sebastian. They were so little right now. After our vacation I realized that living in a healthy and happy relationship with a person you want to share your life with also means compromising. Maybe I needed some time to learn it. But I guess now I was able to compromise and it made me so happy.

When Sebastian and I came back from our journey we visited his parents who took care of little Vilma at that time. We told them about our journey and showed them many pictures we made. While looking at these pictures later at night I realized that I never looked so happy on a photo with my boyfriend. Maybe I needed this vacation to realize that I really loved this man and that I was sure that I wanted to share my life with him. The only thing I didn’t figure out yet was where we should live in the future. For the first time ever Sebastian even told me that he started thinking and imagining leaving Berlin to move with me to LA. I was shocked but also very happy when he told me about it. Again it showed me that he was totally serious with what we had. Although we didn’t have a normal background. When two people from two different countries on two different continents meet and fall in love there will always be a point during their relationship where they have to discuss where to live in the future. I knew we couldn’t live in Berlin for six months and then move to LA for six months. It wasn’t working. So we had to make a decision in the next year. I was afraid of doing it but I also knew that even when we would be apart for a few months or even one year we could do it. Something I wasn’t sure about when I was dating Josh. During that time I always questioned everything. But now I was sure that this relationship would be strong enough to overcome a distance. Even if it was a distance between two continents.

 December

 “I don’t know if I really want it. I mean, it would be like…forever, you know?” I told Marc. We were sitting at a rooftop bar in Berlin. It was almost midnight and we were sitting at this beautiful vintage couch talking for hours. Again my family flew to Berlin to spend´d´d Christmas with Sebastian and me. After last year was such a great experience they decided to do it again this year. I was so grateful that my family accepted my choice to live abroad for a longer time and even visited me for the holidays so we all could spend it together. Because this year Sebastian and I didn’t have time to fly to LA for the holidays. He had to play some special concerts between Christmas and New Years Eve and I had to be back in the office at January 3.

So after the Christmas trouble Marc and I decided to spend one day just the two of us. Maggie and my parents were experiencing Berlin with the kids and Sebastian was on tour. So my brother and I had enough time to have some deep conversations about life.

“Well, it doesn’t need to mean forever. But if you really decide to stay in Berlin for a longer time because of your relationship with Sebastian then it could mean forever, that’s true” Marc said. He was always such an analyst. “I don’t know if I really want to do it. I mean, a few months ago I was totally sure about it but now that my time in Berlin comes to an end in a few months, I don’t know if it would be the right decision” “Did you talk to Sebastian about it?” “Not really….the last time we talked about it I told him that I could imagine staying here in Berlin with him” “And what about him? Can he imagine moving to LA?” “Right now he couldn’t move there but….he said when the band’s current tour will be over in a year, maybe he could move away for one year…..maybe he wants to stay in LA after this year but….in the end he has his band here in Berlin. He’s totally based here and I can’t imagine him moving away forever. I mean, moving to LA with me would mean leaving the band and I don’t think he is ready for it now. Although he sometimes tells me how exhausting touring and all this stuff is but….he loves it. He’s a musician and he’s passionate. Maybe not as passionate as Josh but still….I don’t think he would leave Berlin for me” “Well but then he can’t demand you to stay in Berlin and leave your life in LA behind you.” “I already did it. Kind of” I said. “Yes but it was time limited. Your job was temporary for two years, so in the end you would’ve lived here for 2.5 years. That’s it. You still have your life in LA” “Actually I don’t” I interrupted him. “Why? Sure you have. You have your family there, your friends….” ”Yes, they are living there but I’m not. I moved away two years ago. A lot has changed in LA since I moved away. Some friends got married, became parents….some also moved away. Some settled down. Some started a travelling journey. A lot has changed there and so did I. I also changed. My life completely changed since I moved here to Berlin” “But LA will always be your home town” Marc noted. “I don’t know” “Eileen, come on, you love this city, don’t you? It’s your city, your home” “It is….” I sighed and looked out of the window. The lights of Berlin were shining into my eyes. It looked beautiful but also a bit ugly. Winter in Berlin wasn’t as beautiful and great as some of my friends in California imagined it to be. Surely it was cold, there was a real winter. But most of the time it was ugly weather, barely snow and if there was snow nothing worked. The subway was delayed, the buses had problems and you’re late at every appointment. Yes, maybe that was a typical German thing to think about. Being late. Germans aren’t late. They’re disciplined. “Just think about all the great memories you have of LA and all the great moments you lived there” my brother reminded me of my life in the city of angels. “Yes but if I move back I would start all over again” “But you wouldn’t be alone” “I know” I smiled at him. “Well, the thing is…..you’re right….LA was and will always be my number one city. It’s my hometown” I told him. “See!” Marc grinned. “That’s my little sister!” “The thing is, you can take me away from LA but you can’t take LA away from me. I will always be that little Californian girl with a tanned skin and no matter how often I dye my hair darker it will always get blonde after a few weeks because of the Californian sun” “Yeah!” “I was always an Angelino and always will be. That’s the problem when it comes to my current relationship. Sebastian will always be a Berliner. He’s living here for more than ten years now and grew up just one hour away from the city. “Do you think he could really leave his city?” I thought about it for a moment until I finally came to the conclusion. “No I don’t think so” “Well, then you have a problem. You should really figure out what you want, Eileen. Having a serious relationship with a guy you really love and who truly loves you back is great but what if you two can’t compromise where to live? It’s not a decision if you should live in LA or San Francisco. Even LA and New York would work somehow but….it’s a question whether to live in Europe or America. A decision whether to leave your country forever to move to a new country. Maybe to immigrate here in Berlin. I mean, re-immigrate. You still have your German passport….but, it’s still something….it’s a decision for a lifetime”

Wow hearing these words spoken by my brother made me emotional. He was so right. I had to make a decision some day. Now I had enough time to think about it but in four months I should knew where I would live in the future. Coming back to LA would also mean finding a new job – or at least talking to my former boss in the US if I could still work for him like he promised me two years ago.

But it also meant that I had to think about my future. Not only about my future but also about the future of my future children. Sebastian and I never talked about having a family together and I think since he knew about the loss of my baby three years ago he tried to avoid the topic but I know that he wants children some day. Now that we both are in our mid thirties we could give it a try. But should I really think about starting a family when I still don’t know where to live?

But there was another question my brother asked me which left me questioning a lot of my current life. “Do you love Sebastian deep enough to leave your whole life behind you and stay in Berlin forever?” It hit me. I never thought about it before. I never questioned it before. I knew that I loved him and that was all I needed to know. But I realized that there was more about a serious relationship than being sure you love your partner and your partner loves you back. It’s not easy to share a life with someone else. There are many discrepancies. Maybe that’s the reason why so many marriages don’t work out in the end. People are different and sometimes two lives can’t be combined forever. But I never asked me if I could really leave my whole life behind me. I mean, in a way I already did it – but with a ticket back home after 2.5 years. Although I didn’t have my flat in LA I still had most of my stuff locked into a garage. My family was living there. My best friends were living there. Plus one guy I thought I would love forever. Josh.

Imagining don’t living in the same country as him was strange. It’s not that I missed him or so. I didn’t even listen to the new Chili Peppers album which was released in summer. But somehow it always calmed me down to know that we were both living in the same city – at least we were based there although we both were often out of town. If I would stay in Berlin it would be finally over. I mean, it was already over for three years but if I would stay in Berlin forever we wouldn’t even meet accidentally on the street. He would completely be out of my life forever. Although he already was but….if I would move back to LA we could still run into each other and maybe get along as friends. Who knows?

I looked at Marc who looked at me with this typical ‘You will find your way little sister. You always did’-face. The moment was destroyed by Marcs phone who was ringing. “Oh sorry” he said and looked at it. He obviously got a message. “Who is it?” I asked while drinking my wine. It was already 2am so it must’ve been an American friend and not Maggie or my parents. “It’s just…it’s just a friend who texted me” he said. But the look into his eyes told me that it wasn’t just a friend who texted him. “Who is it?” I asked again. Marc looked at me and finally sighed. “It was Josh” “Josh? I didn’t know you two are in touch” I said surprised. “Well, we weren’t but it changed in the last months. When a friend ask me if I know someone who has knowledge about guitars I thought of Josh and then I texted him and he was totally kind and he came to my friend’s rehearsal room and gave him and me a lot of information about guitars and gave him many tips. My friend was like ‘Did you just call Josh Klinghoffer to give me some advice for a new guitar?’. He couldn’t believe it” Marc told me laughing. “But Josh was very nice and kind and he stayed for a few hours and in the end they even jammed” Wow, I didn’t know that Marc was in touch again with Josh. I mean, it was okay for me. They two liked each other and I was the last one who could say anything against it. “So since then we’re in touch” Marc ended his explanation. “I even went out with him and the guys from Dot Hacker for a few drinks. And now he texted me to ask if I want to be at their show in two weeks” “Oh, are they really touring?” I wondered. They never really did a whole tour yet. “No, they only play a special show in El Sereno and he asked if I want to come” Surely, as nice as Josh is, he asked my brother if he wants to come. “So you go?” “I think so” “Great….greet him” “I will” he said. “Then he’s doing fine I guess” I said and I didn’t know which answer I wanted to hear. Did I want to hear that he was fine, he was happy and got his shit together? Or did I want to hear that he was not doing fine because he was still struggling with our break up because he was still in love with me? No….I mean, no….I couldn’t thinks so. “He’s doing great! He’s very happy with Helen” Helen. Right. Molly mentioned her to me once. I stopped asking her about him afterwards. Maybe I didn’t want to hear how happy he was. “Helen, his new girlfriend?” I asked my brother. He nodded. “Yes, she’s very nice” “You know her?” I was surprised. “I met her once. She’s very nice, very down to earth. She’s just a normal woman from LA. I think she makes him happy” Marc told me. “And Josh is getting along very well with her daughter. He’s a great stepdad”

Urgh. I didn’t want to hear that. Definitely not. It only leads me to the question if maybe Josh was already looking forward in having own kids with Helen? “Hm…..good to hear” I lied a bit lost in thoughts. Now my brother obviously noticed that I didn’t want to hear more about Helen and Josh. “Sorry, I didn’t want to talk about it” “It’s okay” I lied. “Actually it makes me happy to hear that he’s happy too” I said.

After a few minutes of silence and drinking our drinks my brother finally came out with one last question that totally shocked me. “Um Eileen, may I ask you a question?” “Marc, we’re talking for four hours now. You asked me so many questions…..why are you asking this dumb question? Sure you can. Go ahead” I laughed. “Okay, um….would you choose Josh over Sebastian?”

Wait. What?

“Marc, what a silly question” “No, actually it’s a question you should ask yourself” “Why?” “Because….I have the feeling you still think about him a lot. I believe you that you love Sebastian and that he makes you happy. But the way you looked at me when I told you about Josh….the way you talked about LA and always mentioned your friends and also Josh….it just left me questioning if maybe you’re still a bit into him” “No….Marc! I love Sebastian and I would never ever choose Josh over him” I said. “Okay, just a question”

But the more minutes passed by, the more I thought about this question. Maybe I should ask myself if I would choose Sebastian over Josh. And to be honest….I didn’t know the answer. They were both very different from another. Although both are musicians living with each one of them was different. Right now I loved Sebastian, I was sure. But what if I would meet Josh again. It was already 1.5 years ago that I saw him for the last time. So what if I would run into him tomorrow? Without Sebastian by my side. Would I still be so calm and unimpressed like I was back at the Baby Shower? At that time I was totally in love with Sebastian, we were only dating for a year and still on cloud nine. But now that time passed by and we were already dating for 2.5 years feelings can change. You’re still in love and you love your boyfriend or girlfriend but you’re not on cloud nine every day. That’s the difference.

“Eileen, would you?” “Well” I finally sighed and looked into my glass of wine. “I don’t know” “I knew it” Marc said. “I knew you couldn’t say if you wouldn’t choose Josh over Sebastian. Because Josh is your kryptonite” “He’s what?” “You’re kryptonite. The one that go away. The one you still think about and imagine how it could be if you two would’ve figured it out” “Please, can we talk about something else?” I asked him. “We can” my brother agreed. “But maybe you should take some time to think about my question. If you’re still unsure about the answer in three months when you should have decided to stay in Berlin or not, then I don’t think staying here is the right decision” he said.

Marc was right. I thought about his words until the next morning. I didn’t sleep any hour. I just laid there thinking if maybe he was right. Maybe my brother was right and Josh was my kryptonite I could never really forget. Maybe he was the one but now I was happy with someone else? What I was sure about was that there was still a little piece in my heart that was wondering if Josh and I could get back together someday. But how?

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