#Chakotay seems like SUCH a 'made you a thing in the shape of a heart' guy

[bumblingbabooshka]

Chakotay makes Tuvok heart shaped pancakes and Tuvok just starts eating them without commenting on that so Chakotay’s like “Tuvok. Do you notice anything special about these pancakes?” and Tuvok like...squints at them a bit before saying no. 

“About their shape?? Maybe???” Chakotay prods. Tuvok squints harder. “You did not accomplish the perfect circle which this dish is usually served as.” he finally says. “It matters not.” he assures Chakotay. People make mistakes. It’s fine. Chakotay’s eyes widen. He smiles. He is sort of frustrated but moreso absolutely about to lose it laughing because of this weird obstinance. He’s like “They’re in the shape of HEARTS Tuvok and I ‘accomplished’ it perfectly.”

Tuvok examines the pancakes one final time before looking at Chakotay like he’s the most confusing person he’s ever met. “This is not the shape of a heart.” This leads to an hour of arguing about the shape of a heart. They’re both pulling up images on each other’s PADDS and Chakotay eventually calls Janeway in and is like “KATHRYN. Tell me what shape these pancakes are in.” and Janeway, sensing a chance to be hilarious, rubs her chin and goes “Hmm...some sort of misshapen circle...” Tuvok (smug): My thoughts exactly. Chakotay (losing it, loving it): NO. No I know you know what it is Kathryn!  Janeway: Hmmm.......~

[songbookff]

Valentine's j/7 ❤

I’m making this an established janeway/seven. Set whenever you want it to be. Also it turned out a waaaayyy longer than I thought...so I also posted it on A03. Thank you, anon. If you want me to gift you the fic on A03, just message me your username. Or if you want to stay anon, that’s fine too. 

In the early morning, Captain Janeway entered her office and went straight for her replicator. Coffee was calling. She gave the computer her normal order, but to her surprise, when her coffee appeared, so did a single red rose. 

Tentatively, she reached out to touch the vibrantly colored rose. Attached to the green stem was a note. It was odd, to see the cardstock, although replicated and the small ribbon that secured it in place. In printed script, it read: “Roses are red...” 

Kathryn pulled the rose up to her face, knowing that the scent was replicated, but reveling in it all the same. She turned away and made it halfway to her desk before she remembered that her coffee was still sitting in the replicator. Even a red rose couldn’t completely distract her from her morning cup of survival. 

Rose in one hand, coffee in the other, she slipped into her chair behind her desk, only to find a small bouquet of purplish-blue flowers. A blue ribbon tied the stems together and another note attached. This one read, “Violets are blue...” 

She set down the rose and her coffee (after a quick sip of course) and picked up the bundle. These felt different than the replicated rose. Katheryn’s eyes widened when she realized these were from Voyager’s own botanical gardens. They were real violets, not generated by the computer. They felt much more delicate than the rose and she could see the tiny imperfections of being grown rather than created. They were truly beautiful. 

After replicating a small vase with water to set them in, Kathryn tried to start her day. However, there was the faintest smile on her face and she was convinced her coffee tasted better this morning. Finally, she pulled up her data padd to review the reports from the night shift. When the padd turned on, a single message appeared, marked urgent. 

Odd. Usually urgent messages were reported by the computer so that she didn’t miss any when she was sleeping or off duty. She pressed open and the text read: “...I would like to spend dinner in the holodeck just with you.” 

This time, Kathryn didn’t attempt to suppress the smile. Whatever Seven was up to, she had gone out of her way to surprise her this morning. The poem sounded familiar now. It was an old Earth romantic ballad of sorts: “Roses are red, violets, are blue...” usually followed by a rhyming ending that expressed love and adoration. It was clever, really. 

And very unlike Seven of Nine. This of course, only intrigued Kathryn more. 

However, she did have a ship to run. So she pulled up the reports and began reading, trying not to let the beautiful flowers on her desk distract her. It seemed everything had been quiet the night before, so the reports were short. A blown fuse on deck three had been the only excitement of the night and had been resolved within a half hour. 

The door chimed after an hour, and she rose for her morning meeting with Chakotay. He entered the office was a pleasant smile, hands tucked behind his back. “Good morning, Captain.” 

“It has been...” admitted Kathryn with a smile. She couldn’t help but noticed he had a mischievous look in his eyes. “Chakotay, what’s going on?” 

“Can’t slip anything past you,” he chuckled. “Nothing new to report, although B’elanna claims to have come up with an idea to maximize our warp capacity by another percentage. I’ll be sure to have someone double check her math before she begins any experimentation. Although, Tom has volunteered to do the preliminary fight tests on the shuttle. So she can’t think it’s that dangerous.” 

“Just make sure Harry is there to monitor,” replied Kathryn with a smirk. 

“Will do. Also, I have been asked to make a delivery.” From behind his back, Chakotay produced a red box that had been formed in the shape of a geometric heart. He was grinning from ear to ear now, obviously in on whatever Seven was planning by the looks of the box he was holding out to her. 

Curiously, she took the box, surprised a little by the weight of it. Under Chakotay’s excited gaze, she opened it to find an assortment of tiny chocolates also shaped as hearts. They appeared to be different flavors and if she could guess, different fillings as well. 

“What is going on?” she repeated, astonished at the chocolates. 

Chakotay laughed and shrugged, innocently proclaiming, “I’m just they delivery guy. But I do have strict instructions that you are to try one before we get out on the bridge.” 

Chocolate wasn’t something she normally indulged in, especially not for breakfast, but the warm feeling in the pit of her stomach, knowing somehow this was all Seven’s design, forced her to comply. She picked a dark brown piece with a red swirl design and popped it into her mouth. 

“Well?” asked Chakotay, eyebrow raised in anticipation. 

“Dark chocolate with cherry. Absolutely delicious,” declared Kathryn. Then she let out a chuckle at the ridiculousness of the situation. She set the chocolates on the desk next to the rose and the vase she had put the violets in. 

Together, they exited her ready room to start the morning on the bridge. Her crew was bustling as usual. To be honest it had been a dull week, but after all the excitement they had recently, Kathryn was glad for the down time. There was maintenance to be done and the crew were rotating on new shifts to get some down time. So for the next hour, Kathryn read reports in the Captain’s chair, tuning out the business of the bridge. 

That is until Harry Kim was at her elbow. He cleared his throat and hesitated, “Captain...” 

“What can I do for you, Ensign?” asked Kathryn. Noticing the nervous expression on his face, she added, “What did Lieutenant Paris do now?” 

“I’m right here!” came the exasperated call from the helm. Tom whirled around in his seat, throwing his hands in the air. The tension broke and Harry managed a short laugh. 

“As you were,” ordered Kathryn. Tom turned back to his helm, but not before giving Harry a wink. 

“Captain, I need to borrow your badge...and your pips...”

“Excuse me?” 

“Just for a few minutes,” he hastily said. “I just need to upgrade the badge!” 

“And my pips?” Kathryn raised an eyebrow. Harry stood firm under her gaze and reached out his open palm. 

Chakotay leaned over in his chair and whispered, “Don’t interrogate the poor kid. Just give him what he asked for...” 

It suddenly dawned on Kathryn that this was another part of Seven’s elaborate plan. Of course, she had no idea what in the world Harry would do with her badge or rank, but wordlessly she plucked the badge from her chest and allowed Chakotay to help her unpin the four pips from her collar. 

Eagerly, Harry hustled away without another word. Amused glances were being exchanged between her bridge crew and she swore she saw Tuvok give Harry a nod of approval as he left the bridge. Kathryn spend the next half hour wondering what in the stars everyone was up to when Harry returned, velvet box in hand. 

Wordlessly, he handed it to her before scurrying back to his post at Ops. Chakotay was staring at the blur of stars on the viewscreen now, purposely giving her a moment of privacy. Kathryn opened the box to reveal her comm badge and four shining pips staring back at her. She hadn’t seen them this polished since they were new, well before Voyager had entered the Delta Quadrant. 

It wasn’t that she didn’t take care of her hardware, but keeping them shining was the last thing on her mind during most of the journey. But here they were, good as new. The badge gleamed too, no residual fingerprints any more. She pinned it back on and nudged Chakotay to help her put the pips back on her collar. 

Harry cleared his throat from Ops and she turned in her chair to face him. With the slightest red in his cheeks he said, “I think you’ll find I took care of the problem you were having with your badge sticking.” 

“Very good, Ensign,” was all she could think to say. For the past two weeks, she had been complaining that her badge needed to be hit twice on occasion to connect to the computer. If they were in Starfleet space, the comm badges would be replaced regularly so this wouldn’t happen. 

The rest of the morning went on as normal, although now Kathryn was wondering what else could possibly happened. Lunchtime came and she made her way to the Mess Hall. There were a few crew members already enjoying lunch. However, she reached the replicators, a voice called out. 

“Captain! Your lunch is already ready for you.” Standing behind her was Icheb, proudly holding a tray. “Today the kitchen has prepared a vegetable and bean stew with a side of crusty bread.” 

Icheb, still learning about human cuisine seemed unsure of what he was saying, but a steaming bowl sat atop the tray and a slice of toasted french bread rested on a napkin next to it. The stew was reminiscent of one that she had grown up eating, although it was usually replicated if she remembered correctly. It was a favorite of her father. 

“Thank you, Icheb,” she said politely, taking the tray from him. He gave her a quick nod before turning on his heal to go back into the kitchen. Kathryn gave a small shake of her head in amusement. What a day this was turning out to be...

The stew was tasty, if a little heavy on beans and the bread was as crusty as Icheb had said. Still, it was a good lunch, one she had not been expecting. As she wiped up the last of the stew with her bread, Naomi Wildman slipped into the chair across from her. 

“Hello, Captain.” The girl had a broad smile on her face. 

“How are you, Naomi?” asked Kathryn, wondering what Seven could have put the child up to. 

“I have something for you,” replied Naomi with excitement. From her lap, hidden from Kathryn’s view, she produced a small stuffed bear. It was brown with a red bow around the neck and wasn’t much bigger than Naomi’s hands. She pushed it over for Kathryn to grab and then slipped off the chair and skipped out of the Mess Hall. 

The bear was soft and fit perfectly into Kathryn’s grasp. The little thing made her smile, right there in front of the other members of the crew in the Mess Hall. Most were grinning back at her and now Kathryn was certain that the entire ship was in on Seven’s escapade. 

She took the bear back to the bridge with her and said nothing when Chakotay tried to cover a laugh at the sight of it sitting on the arm of her chair. She had no idea what had possessed Seven, or rather Naomi, to give it to her, but she enjoyed the little stuff thing. It was silly, but sweet. 

Two hours later, Tuvok called her attention, “Captain. I believe it is time to report to your quarters.” 

“I’m on shift for another three hours, Tuvok.” 

“I will escort you to your quarters.” The answer was firm and when she looked behind her, he had left his post and was waiting by the turbolift doors. 

Everyone on the bridge seemed to be determined to stare at their consoles and not look directly at her. Well, she had played along all morning, why stop now? With a sigh, she pushed herself out of the Captain’s seat and walked towards the exit. 

“Forgetting something?” asked Chakotay, holding up the little bear. He was failing miserably at keeping his face neutral.

“You have the bridge, Commander.” 

“Yes, sir.” 

Kathryn retrieved the bear with a roll of her eyes and then allowed Tuvok to escort her back to her quarters. “Tuvok, will you please tell me what is going on?”

“I have been sworn to the strictest of confidences.” He continued to look straight ahead. 

“I know Seven is behind all of this...but it’s interfering with my job now.” 

He didn’t answer until the reached her door and then he slowly turned and spoke, “I would never place you or this ship in any precarious situation. I assure you that this is in your best interest and should a situation arrive that would need your direct attention, I will be the first to summon you.” 

“Thank you, Tuvok.” He held up the Vulcan salute and then left her to enter her quarters. 

When the doors whooshed open, she could hear soothing music playing. The lights were dimmed and there was a large porcelain bathtub where her coffee table used to be. And Neelix was standing behind it, grinning from ear to ear. 

“Captain! Welcome to Neelix’s home spa treatment!” he greeted her with a grand motion of his arms.

“How...?” Kathryn glanced back at her closed door and then back at Neelix. 

“We were worried you may not have appreciated the intrusion. But I promise that I haven’t been in any of your personal belongings. I brought all my own things. Your table was the only thing removed.” He winked at her and then, like the showman he was, waved his hands dramatically and began by lifting a small bowl from the small table he had arranged next to the bath tub.“Today I have for you the most luxurious and moisturizing face cream that will leave you glowing and relieved.” 

Placing the bowl back down he reached for a bottle and wine glass also sitting on the table. Pouring the red liquid into in the glass, he said, “A top of the line red wine that comes from Earth, the French region, I believe. It is dry with a hint of blackberries and oak.” 

“And here,” he pulled a leather bound book from seemingly thin air, “Is your entertainment for the evening. A romance novel circa the twentieth century, for your enjoyment.” 

“All of this in what is called a ‘bathtub’.” Neelix motioned towards the tub with a sweep of his hand. “I made some adjustments to make it more comfortable. I have no idea how humans could stand sitting for long period of times with that shape. Seven wanted everything to be as historically accurate as possible, so we’ll just have to keep that secret to ourselves. The water will remain the most comfortable of temperatures for the human body and it has bubbles that give off the scent of lavender.” 

“Thank you?” Kathryn eyed the bathtub wearily and then back to Neelix. 

He had produced a plum colored robe and walked towards her. The silk was soft on her hands when she grasped the it. “I will leave you know. Just let the computer know if you need anything. Your next guest will be arriving at eighteen hundred hours to help you get ready for your dinner on the holosuite. The computer will give you a fifteen minute warning.” 

Neelix left with a wink and a smile, leaving Kathryn alone with the robe and bathtub. Self care like this wasn’t something she indulged in anymore. It made her a little uncomfortable at first, as she stripped off her uniform and put on the robe. 

A sip of wine helped relax her senses and she liberally applied Neelix’s face cream to her face. She figured that even if Neelix had somehow given her something that she was allergic to, the Doctor would be able to set it right. Once the face mask had been applied, she slipped off the robe and climbed into the tub. 

As she lowered her body into the perfectly warmed water, she found the modifications that Neelix had been talking about. Instead of the rounded bottom of the tub, she found a soft, almost cushiony chair, waiting for her to rest on. She sunk back against the porcelain with a sigh. 

After another sip of wine, she reached for the book. She hadn’t read it before, but it looked like something she would enjoy. It as written in the twentieth century, but appeared to take place in the eighteenth. Soon, she was entranced in the story, with nothing but the soothing music, warm water, and delicious wine to fill her mind. 

The computer chimed some time later, altering her that she needed to get out of the tub. There was a towel hanging from the edge of the tub that she used to dry off and then put the silky robe back on. The door chimed and she said enter without even asking who it was. 

To her surprise, B’Elanna burst through the door, a black garment bag slung over her shoulder. She took one look at Kathryn, frowned, and said, “What the hell do you have on your face?” 

Kathryn had completely forgotten about the face cream and hoped she wasn’t supposed to have removed it after a certain amount of time. “I’m not sure she admitted.” 

“Well, go wash it off while I get these out.” B’Elanna made a shooing motion while she walked over to Kathryn’s bed. Kathryn went into the bathroom to wash off the cream. To her relief, her face appeared to be fine. In fact, she felt light and refreshed. 

When she came back in, B’Elanna had laid two pieces of clothing on the bed. One was a dark green gown, with a lace pattern overlaid on the silken material on the chest. It was belted at the waist and floor length. The second was a light grey suit, with a silken green shirt beneath it that matched the dress. Both had obviously been tailored to her size. 

“I have no idea what Seven was thinking, putting me in charge of getting you dressed. So I got some opinions from the other women in the crew and we decided on these two. There is a bet going about whether you will pick the dress or the suit. I’m betting on the suit, so don’t let me down.” 

Both garments were beautiful, but B’Elanna was right, the suit was probably more her style. The dress was beautiful, but the thought of wearing it down to the holosuite for anyone to see made her uncomfortable. 

“I’ll wear the suit, but leave the dress.” Maybe later she could put it on just for Seven. 

B’Elanna clapped her hands together in triumph. “Alright, so Seven wanted this to be authentic, hence the real clothes, but I’m not a stylist. So I programmed the holodeck to do your hair and makeup when you enter. She’ll never know. And don’t worry, I am a firm believer that no one needs makeup, so it won’t be anything heavy.” 

If there was one person on this ship that Kathryn trusted wouldn’t overdo her hair or makeup, it was B’Elanna. “Thank you.”

“Alright, let’s get you into this thing. Wouldn’t want to keep the Borg waiting...” she grinned at her own joke and Kathryn rolled her eyes. It was a teasing that had been occurring since Kathryn and Seven had made their relationship public. 

The pants and shirt fit like a glove and B’Elanna helped her get the suit jacket on. B’Elanna stood back, admiring her work. “Huh. It does look good.” 

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” replied Kathryn sarcastically. “But seriously, thank you.” 

“Don’t mention it.” B’Elanna straightened her collar and added, “Seriously. Let’s never mention this again.” 

“Deal.” 

The two women left the Captain’s quarters and headed toward the holosuite. There weren’t too many crewmembers in the corridors. Kathryn wondered if they had been instructed to make themselves scarce or if everyone was just busy. Waiting by the holosuite was Tom Paris, bottle in hand, leaning against the bulkhead. 

Tom let out a whistle when Kathryn and B’Elanna approached him and his wife punched him in the shoulder for it. Kathryn only rolled her eyes. “Is that bottle for me?” 

“The finest champagne I could replicate. I did a little magic with the replicator to get around the safety features, that that there is the real deal. Harry and I tried a dozen just to make sure you got the best one. It’s authentic as you can get this far into the delta quadrant.” Tom handed her the bottle with a wink. Then he slung his arm around B’Elanna’s shoulder. “My fair lady, would you escort me back to our quarters. I seem to have lost my way.”

“How much did you drink, you idiot?” B’Elanna grabbed ahold of Tom and as they walked away, she called over her shoulder, “Have a good evening, Captain.” 

“Go get the girl!” shouted Tom, encouragingly. He let out a hoot that was quickly shushed by his wife. 

Bottle in hand, smile on her face, Kathryn entered the simulation. She walked into what appeared to be a countryside vineyard of old Earth. A single table for two was set on a stone patio that had fairy lights strung up in the air. A pair of candles lit the table on a white table cloth. Long stemmed champagne glasses were paired with white china plates. 

“Hello, Kathryn.” Seven of Nine walked out of the vineyard across from Kathryn. She was dressed in a beautiful, shimmering full length red dress. The neckline dipped to reveal just enough of her chest to make Kathryn blush. It was held up by slender straps and blonde hair was curled on her shoulders. The color was gorgeous and Kathryn was sure that her jaw dropped. 

“Seven...you look...” Kathryn gripped the neck of the champagne bottle tighter as she tried to find the right words. “You are beautiful.”  

“I am partial to the dress,” replied Seven, looking down at herself. “It is impractical, but I believe it has the desired effect.” 

“All of this is beautiful,” said Kathryn as she approached the table. “Today was been wonderful. Quite surprising, but wonderful.” 

“Your suit fits you well. I find that my attraction to you is heightened in that outfit.” Kathryn allowed herself to blush under Seven’s gaze. Seven motioned for her to take a seat. 

Suddenly, the Doctor, dressed in a tuxedo appeared out of thin air. “May I take that bottle from you, Captain?” 

“I...yes...” Kathryn handed it over, surprised by his appearance. He deftly popped the cork and poured out the two glasses as the women seated themselves. 

“Tonight, I will be serving a lobster linguine. We will begin with a light salad to prime the palate and then we will move to the main course. A decadent chocolate cheesecake will be served for dessert.” He gave them a smile and then snapped his fingers and the salads appeared on the plate in front of them. With another snap, he had disappeared. 

“Seven, what is all of this?” asked Kathryn. “Not that I don’t appreciate it, but I don’t understand.” 

“As you know, I have been studying Earth history to help reconnect with my humanity. I came across several holidays and traditions that have intrigued me. Some of them were based on religious or political movements of the time. I found one particularly of interest now that I am in a relationship with you. It is called ‘St. Valentine’s Day’. Have you heard of it?” 

A smile graced Kathryn’s face. “I have.” 

“I was confused by the history at first. There are conflicting thoughts on the origins of the holiday, but all seemed to be grim. However, it transformed into a day to celebrate lovers. When calendar dates were still being observed, it occurred annually on February fourteenth. I decided to make today Valentine’s Day for just the two of us.” Seven tilted her head to the side. “I thought it would be romantic.” 

“It is...” murmured Kathryn. She took another bite of salad. “I don’t know that much about the history of Valentine’s Day. I understood your poem this morning. I think it is a traditional Valentine.” 

“Yes. Roses and violets. Although, the name violets implies a purple color rather than blue, I did not correct it in order to continue the rhyme. I read that a dozen roses is a common gift, but a single red rose often implies more intimacy. Therefore, I provided a single red rose and a dozen violets.”  

“Chocolates are a traditional gift for lovers, even now. I can’t wait to eat the rest of them.” 

“I too am found of chocolates,” admitted Seven and Kathryn filed that information away for use at a later date. “Another traditional gift is jewelry. However, necklaces, bracelets, and rings are against the dress code. And you do not wear any off duty.” 

“So you had my pips and badge cleaned.” Her heartbeat quickened. Seven had thought all of this through. It really was romantic. Kathryn wasn’t sure she could love the woman more, but somehow, she still had the ability to surprise her. 

“Another common gift was stuffed animals. The Doctor explained that these are not taxidermized animals, but fluff stuffed fake figures. They are more commonly used by children for comfort. A ‘teddy bear’ is a traditional stuffed animal.” 

“It was cute,” laughed Kathryn and to her pleasure, she saw Seven’s eyes light up at her reaction. “The spa was nice, too.” 

“I am pleased that you enjoyed it.” Seven gave her a natural smile. Goodness, she was so beautiful, especially over candlelight. 

The Doctor cleared his throat to announce his return. He snapped his fingers and announced, “Dinner is served.” 

The salad plates disappeared and were replaced by a delicious looking pasta dish, topped with pieces of lobster. Breadsticks appeared in the middle of the table. Seven motioned to the food and explained, “Many references sourced traditional pasta from the Italian region of Earth was a common Valentine’s meal. Others reported that a home cooked meal that was nostalgic was also a good choice.” 

“So you made my father’s favorite stew.” 

Seven nodded. “You don’t have many favorites, but you talk about your family so often. I thought it would be the correct touch.” 

“It was perfect.” Kathryn reached across the table to take Seven’s hand in her own. “All of it was perfect.” 

“I believe the correct response would be that you are perfect. But I think that is incorrect. Everyone has flaws. It is in our nature.” Seven gave her hand a squeeze. “But I feel like you deserve to be treated with perfection, because I love you.” 

“I love you, too, Seven.” The candlelight twinkled in their eyes. 

“We should engage in eating this meal. My research says it will be pleasing to the palate,” added Seven with a tiny smirk. Kathryn laughed and picked up her fork to dig into the pasta. 

Seven was right, it was delicious. And so was the slice of cheesecake that they shared for dessert. When they were finished, the Doctor appeared again. “I hope you enjoyed your dinner tonight. If you will stand please, I will delete the table and leave you two ladies to enjoy the rest of your evening.” 

Both Kathryn and Seven rose to their feet. The Doctor snapped his fingers and the table disappeared. He gave them both a little bow and then snapped himself out of the simulation. Upon his departure, music starting playing. Soft, but with a dancing rhythm. Seven offered her hand and Kathryn accepted. 

The two began dancing, slowly turning on the stone patio together, beneath the moonlight and the tiny string of lights above them. Kathryn pulled Seven’s thin body tightly against her own. She dropped her face to press their cheeks together, breathing in the scent that was Seven. 

Kathryn loved being this close to Seven. They fit together so well. It was something that Kathryn had never experienced with anyone else. She loved the feel of Seven’s body against her own. 

“I am pleased that you are my Valentine,” whispered Seven in her ear. Kathryn smiled and pressed a kiss to Seven’s collarbone. 

Then she pulled back just enough to lock eyes with her lover. Gently, Kathryn raised her hand from Seven’s hip to cup her face. Then she firmly pressed their lips together. Beneath the moonlight, Kathryn kissed her Valentine. 

[marigoldseesstars]

I've just watched s5e17 of Voyager and damn. Sometimes I forget that star trek is capable of weird, cerebral, fucked up sci-fi shit. I always think of it as this lovely campy gay little franchise (which it is) but sometimes it really hits you with something devastating.

My thoughts on the episode below the cut (spoilers)--btw this little rant is so so so long, and so incredibly niche, I’m sorry. I just have to get it out of my system.

OK! This is the episode where we get an update on how the Voyager crew’s alien clones are doing. Yes this is weird, no it doesn’t make sense, and yes i love it. 

So at the beginning of the episode, Tom and B’elanna get married. The crew also now has a stylish warp drive mod that lets them go faster, and everything feels surreal--like we’ve missed an episode where all of this gets set up. But all of the characters are behaving normally, so we don’t immediately question it. Then the ship starts going screwy. There is this gorgeous shot where the crew throws rice as Tom and B’elanna leave their wedding, and the rice falls in stunning slow motion through a jeffries tube that has begun to destabilize and is warping and distorted UGH the cinematography!! This bit really sets the tone. The episode is dream-like, unusual.

It’s also heart-wrenching. The jeffries tube anomaly is discovered and people begin to get sick. B’elanna gets sick fast and dies. Yes, just after she marries Tom. This episode pulls no punches. Tuvok and Chakotay rush to discover when things started going wrong with the ship, realizing that its sort of... decaying and that the decay had to have started months ago. They trace everything back to the demon planet where they left their alien clones several months back. They realize that they never left their clones on the demon planet--they are the clones. And they are, like the ship around them, decaying.

Janeway still has it in her head that they need to continue heading for Earth. That’s home, she insists, she made a promise to get her crew home. And this is where the episode really beings to fuck me up. This is Janeway. We know from the episode Demon that the clones are perfect copies of their human counterparts--they have the same memories, the same personalities. For all intents and purposes, this really is Janeway. This really is the Voyager crew. More on why that is a gut punch later though because first EVERYTHING HAS TO GO WRONG.

People are dying left and right, the ship is falling apart. They try to land on another class y planet but are stopped by an unknown but rather hostile alien species. Janeway finally makes the decision to warp speed the hell back to the demon planet they came from. 

But even with their new fancy warp drive, it’s not enough. Things are looking grim. So grim Neelix has to step up and become CMO. Whole decks become uninhabitable, as they fall into the same destabilization we saw in the jeffries tube. Janeway literally dies in her command chair, on the bridge.

This episode is weird and dark, ok?

So we near the end of the episode and all that is left of the main cast are Harry and Seven. Dear ensign Harry is in charge now, occupying the bridge all by his lonesome. Seven is running engineering, it seems, by herself. She has, at the late captain’s orders, created a time capsule of the crew and mission logs--proof of this crew’s existence, in case they don’t make it back to their planet. Harry gives the order to launch it. The launch mechanism fails like everything else on the ship and destroys the capsule.

But!!! the barest glimmer of hope. They detect a ship, just outside of comm range. Seven puts it on the viewscreen and it’s the other Voyager. It’s the most haunting vision of Voyager you will ever see--it’s blurry, seen through static, and you know that it’s just slightly too far away. Salvation is just out of reach.

The clone ship is so out of shape now that they can’t send a hail at warp. But Voyager can’t stop either, the systems have degraded. Harry tells Seven to simply drop the core, which, of course, could destroy them. You can’t just drop out of warp.

But they do, and they (just barely) survive the drop out of warp. All power is directed to structural integrity, there are only a few minutes left until the other Voyager comes into range to receive the distress signal. Harry looks on, grimly. 

And then suddenly our view point changes. We are on the normal Voyager’s bridge. The lighting is bright, almost disturbingly cheery. Everyone is alive. They are pursuing a distress signal. They drop out of warp to come across what looks to be a recently exploded...something? It’s a cloud of dust. Janeway notes in a log that they received a distress call from an unknown ship, and that it was destroyed, all crew lost. They move on, unaware that they just witnessed their own tragic end.

Like. What the hell. It fucks me up so bad. But you know what fucks me up worse? Let’s go back to my point about the clone crew truly being the Voyager crew, as much as the real crew is the Voyager crew. This is some sadistic writer’s way of reminding us as an audience that there are stakes. Voyager is lost thousands of lightyears away from home. The odds are against them, even if Janeway is a Han Solo, never tell me the odds type. This episode is a devastating reminder that the crew isn’t infallible. The clone crew is just as clever, just as strong, just as crafty, as the true crew of the Voyager. And they disappeared. Into oblivion. As if they never existed. 

Like, of course this can’t happen to the real main cast, cause it’s their show. You can’t just kill off a whole crew in a Star Trek show. But it proves that there are things bigger, and badder, and more insurmountable than even a Starfleet crew can handle. There is such a thing as a no-win scenario in the Trek universe.

And it really punched me in the gut, ok?

Thank you for reading if you got this far.

[mia-cooper]

2019 fanfiction in review

I usually put more effort into pimping my favourite fics of the year, boosting a few new writers in my fandoms, etc. This year, however, I have not, for reasons both within and beyond my control. Which is pretty much my excuse for not Doing Better with writing for the past month or so, but hey. At least there’s this.

.......................................................

1. Best fic(s) you read all year, and why?

How can I even begin to list all the beautiful, shocking, feel-good, feel-terrible-but-in-a-good-way, envy-inducing, page-turning, soul-destroying, fluffy, hilarious, infuriating and horny fics I’ve read this year? I can’t. So I will instead list three that come immediately to mind.

@curator-on-ao3 – The Dismissed Protocol (rated T, VOY, TNG, Janeway & Crusher)

This fic made me angry. So angry that I left a ranty and incoherent comment, slammed down the lid on my laptop and stormed around the house for a bit. Why was I so pissed, you ask? Because this fic hit a good few of my personal triggers around bodily autonomy and the right to make informed choices, and because although the fic ends triumphantly, it’s somewhat of a pyrrhic victory and it left a really bad taste in my mouth. Which, considering this is fiction, is the mark of some really good writing. When it comes to tackling difficult topics with a fresh and thought-provoking perspective, and without opting for the easy answers, Curator never disappoints. This story is just one of many examples of that in her work.

@love-in-the-time-of-kolinahr​ – it will take place without witnesses (rated E, DSC, Pike/Number One)

Okay so let me start by saying it was the author’s fucking EXCELLENT pun of a pseudonym that made me read this in the first place. Then it was the poem they quoted (Discovery by Wislawa Szymborska, which is like a portentous rocket in the guts). Then it was Una’s scales-off-the-eyes, we-are-true-equals, don’t-bullshit-me-lover candidness in the way she sees, talks to, knows Chris Pike. I adore Pike in his laconic-space-cowboy-with-a-heart Disco incarnation, I like him a lot as the CoolDad in AOS, but this fic? This fic gives me smart, forthright, deeply tender Number One, and Pike as the fractured and very human hero I hope like hell we’ll see more of because they are definitely making a Pike series RIGHT? It is written. Anyway… this fic is beautiful and harsh and deft and real and sexy and poetic and at its core it’s about love, and who doesn’t love love?

@captacorn​ – Stars in a Ruined Sky (rated M, VOY, Paris/Torres)

It took me a while to read this one because CaptAcorn was posting it at the same time I was writing my epic, and I had no brain space to maintain a hold on someone else’s dark and compelling plot. But when I picked this one up, I couldn’t put it down. It is AMAZING. A Timeless AU, set in a universe where Voyager crashed and most of the crew survived, this goes where no other 100k+ epic I’ve read before has dared to tread, and it does so without flinching. The details are what make this unforgettable – there’s no magic reset button, so when something bad happens to the crew, there are actual lasting consequences – but it’s the humanity of the characters (if I can use that word to describe a crew that includes aliens) that makes it unputdownable (fuck off, my nana said that’s a word). This is not an AU I want to think happened, but CaptAcorn makes it one that rings true. And I’ll definitely read this again when I have the emotional fortitude for it.

Wow, there’s no Janeway/Chakotay in my top three. What? So here’s a bonus:

Northernexposure’s trilogy – Soft Light, Aftershocks and Resolution (rated E, VOY, Janeway/Chakotay) – three for the price of one! I mean, when northernexposure posts a new fic I race to read it no matter what, but smut! Beautifully written, true to character, sexy sexy smut from one of my all time favourite authors! How could I turn that down?

2. Best fic(s) you published all year, and why?

Mmmyeah to be honest I kinda feel as though my writing peaked in 2017, but here we go.

Desperate Measures (rated E, VOY, Janeway/Chakotay and other pairings) – because there’s angst and smut and the plot is twisty as fuck and I feel like there’s a pretty satisfying payoff. And it’s really long and relies on the reader engaging with my OCs which people seem to have done, which makes me think that if I ever do want to go write another original novel, maybe I won’t want to burn it as soon as I’m done.

This Is The Moment (rated M, DSC, Pike/Tyler) – because these two have exhausting chemistry and I couldn’t not write this but it was hard to make it come out of my brain the way I wanted it. But I’m really happy with it.

And I have a soft spot for First Officer’s Log (rated T, VOY, Chakotay & Tuvok, implied Janeway/Paris), because I just really love Threshold, okay? And while the episode is wack on so many levels there are really dark and heavy themes to explore there which I feel have gone very unexplored and I hope my fic struck that same balance between moral philosophy and holywhatthefuckery.

3. Favourite opening line(s) in a fic you published in 2019:

From Bad Maquis (rated M, VOY, Janeway/Chakotay):

The only thing more restrictive – and bosomy – than this outfit, Kathryn mused as she stared at her reflection, was her holodeck governess costume.



Still, at least she didn’t have to leave her quarters wearing this getup, and thank goodness for small mercies. Because she was on the verge of backing down from this challenge as it was, and Kathryn Janeway did not chicken out. Ever.

I mean, it sets the scene, doesn’t it? Who doesn’t love Janeway in leather.

4. Favourite closing line(s):

This is maybe cheating a little bit because this fic isn’t finished, but this first chapter can stand alone and I won’t be continuing it for some time (first, I have to finish the two prequels, haha). Anyway, these are the closing lines from Inertia (rated T so far, VOY, Janeway/Paris and others):

When the daze clears and Tom looks up to discover that his hovercar is parked in front of an address he’s never visited but has nonetheless memorised, maybe he should feel a little bit surprised.



He doesn’t. No matter how far he tries to go or how long he stays away from her, turning up at Kathryn Janeway’s door is inevitable.

Why do I like it? Well, I have an everlasting appreciation for Janeway/Paris, for one thing. For another, if you read the rest of the story and understand what Tom has just learned, you’ll want to know what happens next. I hope. I sure want to know.

5. The fic that was best received, and your favourite comment(s) on it:

That would be Desperate Measures again. It’s my longest fic by far and I was absolutely bowled over by the response to it, but one of my favourite comments on it is this one:

It actually looks like Janeway is saying gimme and it cracks me up.

Honestly though… the depth and kindness of comments on that fic in particular, the time and thought and effort that people have put into their reviews … it made up for every moment I wanted to chuck it in and never look at that fic again, or any other.

6. The fic you wish had gotten more love:

Honestly, I was surprised there was so little response to my @voyagermirrormarch​ fic trilogy, Heaven in the Shape of Hell. I really thought they’d be crowd pleasers, but it shows what I know, lol. I haven’t even finished the third one because the lack of interest made me wonder if they were just really shite, but I’m not so butthurt about it anymore and I will come back to it someday.

7. How many fandoms you wrote for in 2019, and which inspired you most:

Does Star Trek in all its incarnations count as one fandom? If so, I wrote for two (Trek and Marvel). If all the different versions of Trek count separately, I wrote for seven (MCU, AOS (that’s Trek Alternate Original Series, not Agents of SHIELD), Disco, Mirror, Enterprise, DS9 and Voyager).

Anyway, I guess I’ll never stop being inspired by Voyager, so even if Disco season 3 and the Picard show do nothing for me, I’ll always have that.

8. Your favourite pairing(s) to write for:

I mean, Janeway x Chakotay, for sure. But I’m deeply, deeply invested in Janeway x Paris at the moment.

9. What you’re writing now/next:

I’m struggling through the second part of what was supposed to be my contribution to @25daysofvoyager​. I’m actually going to post the first part once I’m done with this quiz in the hope it’ll kick my ass into gear. I’m also on semi-hiatus from Kinetic Friction, but I’ll be going back to it as soon as I’m done with my 25 Days fic. At some point after Kinetic there’ll be the sequel, and then the rest of Inertia. I’m also contemplating something for Threshold Day, possibly throwing something into @voytalentchallenge​ (don’t count on that one), and I have an idea for a pre-Enterprise D, pre-Voyager meeting between Picard and Janeway (with smut, obvs), plus all the other fics I’m definitely going to write …

And of course there’s my meat raffle. Time to pimp that one again. Donate to AO3 and if I draw your name out of the hat of randomness I’ll write you a fic to your specifications (roughly).

10. Writing goals for 2020 (word count? new fandoms/pairings? anything?):

Look, I’d just really like to actually write to some of the prompts I’ve had sitting in my ridiculously complex filing system without getting sidetracked by the newest shiny thing to catch my eye. In terms of fandoms, I hope I’ll write more for Discovery, I’m looking forward to Picard, and I would like to branch out from Trek a bit. More MCU, definitely, and maybe others if I get inspired. The main thing I want out of writing fanfiction at the moment is for it to continue making me happy, though, so I just hope I keep having fun with it.

[secretvixen83]

The Nicrean

Dust swirled in the air as the smell of fire wafted from what seemed like everywhere. In the middle of it all stood Anaris. Her five-foot four-inch frame seeming tall against the decimation around her. The place she stood used to be a capitol city and was normally teeming with busy people. That was no longer the case. The buildings lay in ruin, the once marvelous cobblestone streets were destroyed, and even the sun seemed dimmer. As she looked around her, Ana felt lost and hopeless. This was her home, and now there was nothing left. She was shocked out of her reverie by a massive explosion a few blocks away. Over her right shoulder, she saw a new onyx colored plume of smoke rising through the sparse cropping of trees that were left. Her heart sank as she smelled the fresh fire that had erupted. The Arconis had probably just destroyed the last hope of saving Nicrea.

           There were no longer any civilians left on the surface of Nicrea. The only ones left were Anaris, and the military. They had issued the evacuation notices five sunrises ago and had been able to hold the Arconis off until now, when the reinforcements came. Anaris’ deep blue eyes scanned the skyline looking for any sign that the Arconis were heading for her. She then shifted her gaze to the spaces where buildings, homes, and trees once stood. Nothing in their places was a good thing and a bad thing. Either way, Ana knew she wasn’t getting out of this alive. The question she asked herself was, My way, or theirs? She knew if the Arconis caught her, they would torture her and kill her.

           With a shudder, and fear and resignation in her soul, she turned to look at the violet waters of the Nicrean Sea. The beach between her and the water held so many memories. The summers spent digging for shells with her mother, kite flying in the spring with her father, and watching the surfing competition with her cousins. All the memories were gone. The sand was empty, and the upper layers blowing about in the wind. She had long ago run out of ammunition, so she knew she had to take her chances on the Nicrean Sea being her final resting place.

           Barely paying attention to anything but her thoughts, Ana almost missed her right ear twitching. Her ears were short but pointed on the upper edge and could hear things far away from her. If her ear twitched, something was much closer than she wanted it to be. As she looked behind her, Ana knew what was coming. Just as she saw light reflect off the first Arconis’ armor, she began unbuckling her boots hurriedly. She decided to keep her armor, the weight would drag her to the ocean floor quicker. The Arconis wouldn’t follow her into the water (she hoped), and as soon as her last boot was free, she tore across the sand like a marathon sprinter to the water. The water was almost frigid to her and she breathed in sharply. She never looked back, she kept her eyes forward, and could feel the water soaking through her clothes, making them heavier, and beginning to drag her down. Ana couldn’t hear the Arconis behind her anymore, and her ears were filled with the sound of the tide breaking around her. Her armor began pulling her under when the water was halfway up her breastplate, and she didn’t fight it. She took one last breath and gazed around her as she closed her eyes for the final time. Or so she thought.

            Tom hated doing inventory checks. He only accepted this because the Captain was furious with him. He had tried to make things better but made them worse instead. The Captain had every right to just eject him out into space and watch him die. Instead, she assigned him these menial tasks that made his brain bleed of boredom. At least he was still alive though. As he entered the cargo hold, the lights were dim, and he could easily make out the shapes of the crates he was looking for. As he sighed and set down his equipment belt, he caught a whiff of something he hadn’t smelled in almost ten years. His brain quickly perked up and tried to place the smell. Saltwater?! How would saltwater be on the ship? They were 80 years from earth. He pushed the smell to the back of his mind and filed it under wishful thinking.

           Anaris opened her eyes. She was no longer in the ocean, but instead in what seemed to be a cargo hold, not unlike the ones she had been in on the Nicrean ships. Her ears told her that there was someone else in the room with her, so she tried to hold in the overwhelming urge to orally expel the water she had intentionally swallowed. She failed miserably and expelled the liquid contents of her stomach. Gasping for air and wiping her mouth on her sleeve, she nervously glanced around the large crate that concealed her and saw him. Tom heard the familiar sound of vomiting coming from behind him and turned to see an almond shaped blue eye watching him from between the crates. Keeping her ears trained on the humanoid, she began to remove her armor as quietly as she could, leaving the dagger her grandfather had given her on her hip. She ran her fingers through her almond colored hair, and quickly put it into a battle braid. Then she sat on her haunches and tried to figure out the humanoid.

           Tom, in his laidback manner turned back to his gear, which included two drink tubes, a hand-held inventory tracker, and his communicator, holding a small handful of tiny screws. “It’s amazing that without this tiny screw in the right place all hell will break loose.” He said it more to amuse himself about his current plight than for any other reason. He was putting the screws back in the box when he heard a sharp thud that sounded heavy, and metallic. Automatically drawing his weapon, he spun around to the same place he had heard the vomiting from before.

           “I know you’re here! I won’t harm you, as long as you don’t harm me!” There was no response. “Look! I will even put my weapon away! Just come out! If you’re hurt, I can help you!” Tom was putting his weapon back in its holster when he saw something move in between the shadows cast by the crates from the corner of his eye. When he looked at her, his jaw dropped. She was a humanoid figure, and a biped. Remembering himself, he asked her to stop when she came within a foot of him, and they could clearly see each other. Anaris and Tom stood looking at each other for a bit before Anaris spoke. “Where am I, and who or what are you?” She knew it sounded harsh and crass but she didn’t care. She had wanted to die. Not end up wherever this was. Tom leaned up against a large cargo case and tried to look relaxed to show he wasn’t a threat to her. Anaris didn’t change her posture, and Tom saw the dagger on her hip.

           “Well,” he started. “Currently you are on a ship in space headed back to Earth. I’m Tom, and I’m supposed to be doing inventory as a punishment. I am also a human.” Tom let his answer hang in the air for a moment, and then hoisted himself up on top of the crate and sat. “What about you? Who, or what are you, and how the hell did you get on board?!” Tom let her take her time in answering, and as he took the first swallow of his drink tube, she responded, “I think I died.” Tom immediately choked on his drink, and after a few seconds of sputtering, he was able to choke out, “Excuse me?” Anaris replayed the events of her last moments on her home planet to Tom, who stayed quiet, listening intently. Just as Anaris finished, A huge wave of space interference hit the ship, and rocked it massively. Tom fell off the crate, and Anaris fell to her knees. When all was quiet again, Tom looked around, and moved to help Anaris up. He extended his hand, and she looked at it, and at him questioningly. “I told you, I won’t hurt you.” He said coaxingly.

           She took his hand and stood up. Tom saw that in the fall, her dagger had sliced her leg and fallen out of its scabbard, and immediately pushed the wrist unit he wore. “Bridge” came the reply. Anaris realized it was a woman’s voice and didn’t know how to feel. “Captain, what was that space wave? It was felt all the way down here!” Tom said, watching Anaris’ blood drip to the floor. “We aren’t quite sure, but it seems like a planet nearby exploded.” Came the Captain’s cool reply. Anaris quickly turned and ran away from Tom. Not because she was afraid, but because she no longer had a home, and she didn’t want him to see her cry. Anaris heard Tom ask the Captain and First Officer to come down immediately. Tom found Anaris again and tried to coax her out again. She wouldn’t budge. “Come on, I promise no one will hurt you here.” Tom said calmly, extending his hand again patiently. “How do I know?” she cried, “That you aren’t like them?!”  Ana decided to face whatever was coming and stood up abruptly. Before anyone could say anything to her, Ana sharply said, “It was a planet that exploded. It was my Nicrea.”

           The Captain and First Officer looked her over as they entered the hold, “Why did it explode?” She asked this of Ana like she was asking about the weather, and Ana couldn’t take it. “We were attacked!! The Arconis destroyed EVERYTHING!!” It was then the Captain’s heart softened. It was palpable in the room, and it even disarmed Ana’s apparent anger. This time when the Captain spoke, it was soft, and heartfelt. “How did you end up here?” Ana glanced at Tom, and Tom nodded. “I tried to drown myself in the Nicrean Sea and ended up here.” Ana said as she registered for the first time that there was pain in her right thigh. Ana’s vision began to waver, her legs refused to hold her up. As her vision darkened, and she began to fall, Tom caught her. Without missing a beat, Captain Janeway ordered him to take her to see the doctor.

           “An exploding planet, a stowaway, and all of this started because Tom had to do inventory.” Chakotay stated as he smiled and chuckled. “Yes, it seems that she is as lost as we are, whoever she is.” Kathryn responded as she walked beside her first officer out of the cargo hold. “You know, lately there have been a lot of new beginnings on board this ship. I believe we may have another to add to our expanding list.” Janeway nodded, smiled, and said, “I am all for new beginnings.” Making their way to the bridge, Chakotay and Janeway discussed multiple things. Ionic polarization shifts, anti-matter waves, and ship repairs to be made once they could find a small corner of space to be “safe” in. To Chakotay’s dismay, nothing too personal. Nothing about their kiss, nothing about what she had said in the Ready Room. Was she trying to forget? He hoped not. As they entered the bridge, he was brought out of his reverie by what they were seeing on screen. A large cloud of what seemed to be gas, detritus, and some sort of moisture was in front of them.

           After a second’s long pause, Kathryn asked, “Nicrea?” Chakotay realized she was talking to him. “Probably, which adds validity to our stowaway’s story.” They nodded in agreement and stood staring for a few moments. Something about the cloud was oddly beautiful. If you hadn’t known it was a planet, and countless souls had just died, it could be mistaken for art. Chakotay knew he had to pull his head out of a romantic mind set so Kathryn wouldn’t give him that look that she gives when Tom frustrates her. He hated that look and tried his best not to earn it. There were times that he couldn’t avoid it though, and he smiled to himself as he thought about it.