#Cause Vale's parents let him do whatever he wanted and he thought it was normal to not know where your kid was or if they were safe

[ray935sworld]

You think Cele/ Pecco/ Bez ever called Vale to tell him he can't make it to the ranch the weekend cause their parents can't drive them (can't take public transport cause equipment) and on Friday Vale shows up at their school with the other academy kids he already picked up and is like

[syndrossi]

I know it's not that kind of story, but I do wonder what Daemon's response would be to the twins being attached to a parental figure that wasn’t him. Like their childhood caretaker who still looked after them even now. Other than the obvious dynasty ending jealousy. It's not as likely to have happened given Jon and Rhaegar not being normal kids, but I still think about it.

Oooh, I love this, let's see...

Least jealousy-inducing would have to be smallfolk caretakers. That would be someone like Perra, who was their nurse at the Gates of the Moon. I think any parent of noble birth would expect some level of fondness toward a nurse, provided she wasn't a terrible person. She loses points for being from the Vale, but at least she provided some stability/comfort for his boys, and it's not like she's a real parent like him. He would probably find a way to reward her in some way, even, so long as she stays out of their lives going forward, since Daemon really does want a clean break from the Vale for the boys.

Next up would be Lady Lynda, aka the closest thing in Resonant we have to at least one of the boys feeling some level of attachment. Neither Jon nor Rhaegar have spoken of her to Daemon yet, though they'll broach the topic eventually. I think this would be one step above the nurse in terms of jealousy, but because she's fulfilling a more maternal role, Daemon doesn't feel as threatened. His primary emotion would be something between gratitude (that someone cared for his children) and jealousy (she got to hug them when they were small and Rhaegar misses her). Again, he'd rather she play no role in their lives going forward, but he won't forbid the boys from seeing her. Depending on how furious he feels about Allard and how insecure he himself is, he might privately threaten/tell her to extricate herself from their lives.

Allard is a big jump in jealousy, in a world where he took an active, caring role in their upbringing that fostered a parental bond. Not only is there some noble (an upjumped bastard) usurping Daemon's position as father, it's a Royce, one of the very people who kidnapped his children from him and kept them for eight years (realistically, only 6 years for Allard). Literally any father figure being important to the boys is near world-ending levels of insecurity, jealousy, and angst for Daemon. Especially if Jon and/or Rhaegar express feelings of homesickness for the Vale/Gates of the Moon. Daemon pretty much would view their feelings of love toward Allard as malicious conditioning/outright theft and want to tear Allard down to prove him unworthy of their love. His constant digs at Rhea to Rhaegar, where he reminds him that she didn't love him enough or like he thought she did? 1000x worse here. There is no "live and let live" for Daemon. He wants the man ruined, reviled, and forgotten. No matter how much he cared for Jon and Rhaegar, it was not enough, and certainly not enough to forgive the stolen years.

Rhea is the obvious final candidate, in a scenario where she lives and plays an even greater role in their upbringing. She was the architect of his children being stolen, she kept all of those milestones for herself, and she stole their love from him too while making him the villain. But if he shows any resentment for it, he only proves her right. He can't destroy her like he wants, either. It's probably a cold war of passive-aggressive behavior, with Daemon trying to outcompete her for their love. He wants them to forget about her entirely, and he'll use whatever he has at his disposal to achieve that. If she still lives, he should be able to secure his annulment, so perhaps he rushes into marriage to provide an alternative mother option (if he's worried that "mere" relatives like Rhaenyra aren't enough). There's a level of misery in his children that would give him pause, though--like, if his vendetta is causing obvious distress/harm for an extended time, he will back off and try to find another way. But in his heart, he wants House Royce utterly destroyed.

[bssaz97]

Think you would do another part to the missing for a year ask

Missing For A Year… (II)

What originally was supposed to be a day of remembrance and comfort to those who had mourned the ‘death’ of the two leaders of (R)WBY and (J)NPR, quickly became a revelation of confusion and shock. For after almost a year after their supposed passing, Ruby and Jaune returned to Beacon at the day of their own memorial with more than a few surprises. Many of the friends family felt relief that their friends/children/sibling while others had.....unique reactions.

Glynda: For the love of-I JUST HAD THIS SCHOOL FIXED! (Starts to repair the damages done to the door) Mr. Pine would you be so kind as to bring back Miss Schnee and...the newly announced parents. Preferably before she tears the courtyard apart.

Oscar: I’ll try but I can’t make any guarantees.

Glynda: Understandable. Now hurry!

Oscar starts to sprint after them in order to calm matters before they escalate. Meanwhile, the remaining friends of Ruby and Jaune take in the new situation.

Blake: Are they going to be ok? Weiss seems pretty mad.

Neptune: Yeah she’s fine, the two of them... well not so much.

Sun: By the way, how’re you doing babe? I mean we just did get a major truth bomb dropped on us.

Blake: I’m really not sure what I’m feeling. Shock, elation, grief, betrayal.....it’s a mixed bag at the moment.

Sun: Hey take whatever time you need. In the meantime, want to go see the new babies!

Blake: .....Sure. I think that’ll be nice.

Neptune: Also should we get Ren? He’s been still as a statue for a good minute or two. I think he’s also forgotten how to breathe.

Ren: godchildren...godchildren...I’m a godfather...

Sun: Ok buddy come on let’s go. *Grabs him like a cardboard cutout*

Meanwhile....

Ruby: ‘Huff! Huff! Huff!’ I think we lost her

Jaune: *Kneeled over in exhaustion* Man, here I thought we were gonna be having a nice reunion with everyone. Not to run in our own funeral.

Ruby: Technically it was a memorial.

Jaune: Haha. Oh yeah like that’s way better.

Ruby: Look, let’s just see if we can talk to her. She seems pretty upset about it all. Can’t imagine what she’s going through. I mean we basically were proclaimed dead by everyone then to suddenly just stumble back into their lives unannounced and without warning.

Jaune: Yeah that would put her in a questionable state of grief.

Ruby: I wish we could make it up to her you know.

Weiss: Maybe you can by accepting your punishment... *Peeking over the bush they were hiding in*

Slowly the couple turned their heads backwards to see their assailant right behind them. Nervous expressions written on their faces due to the unnervingly calm the SDC heiress/huntress was being.

Ruby: Weiss...hey, how are you?

Weiss: Good...heard you’re married now...and with children.

Ruby: Y-Yeah. Had a really busy year.

Weiss: Oh I had a busy year too. By busy I meant that I spent most of the past year in grief over the death of two of my dearest friends.

Ruby: Oh...that sounds terrible.

Weiss: It was...but do you want to know what’s worse than grieving over the dead?

Jaune: What’s that?

Weiss: Finding our that all your grief was wasted on two absolute morons who didn’t even know the proper way to send a letter to their grieving friends. But who also managed to start up a new life entirely ignorant of the pain their absence caused others. But you want to know the bright side?

Ruby/Jaune: .....what’s the bright-

From a birds eye view, newly installed cameras recorded the sudden appearance of a massive snowy explosion in Beacon’s courtyard. The sound of the sudden explosion alerted the attention of the deputy assistant to the headmistress, as he saw a large amount of snow built up seemingly out of nowhere.

Oscar: Oh no...Welp! At least I know where they are. *Starts running*

It takes Oscar about five minutes to get to the epicenter of the explosion as he had to walk through all the snow built up from the explosion. There he finds Weiss holding onto a supply bag and a rather large ice cube.

Oscar: Weiss, did you have to do this in the courtyard?

Weiss: Yup.

Oscar: ‘Sigh’ Honestly I don’t blame you. By the way where’s Ruby and Jaune?

Weiss: Close by. *Uses Myrtenaster to spin the ice cube to reveal everything but the faces of the couple encased in the block of ice*

Ruby: *Teeth chattering* H-H-hey Oscar... how’s it...ha-hanging?

Oscar: I’m good.....are they ok?

Weiss: Oh don’t mind them they’re completely fine. This is just the punishment they are going to endure being stuck in one place for the remainder of the day. Right? *Glares at the two leaders*

Jaune: *teeth chattering* Y-y-yeah! To-Totally...no problems here! R-R-Right Ruby?

Ruby: *teeth chattering* Y-Y-Yep! Totally... peachy!

Oscar: Somehow I don’t believe...

Weiss: Oh you worry too much. They’re not going to get hypothermia from being in there. There Aura will protect their body temperature and the worst they can get from this is a cold.

Oscar: How kind of you.

Weiss: Do you want to go in the cube?

Oscar: *puts hands up in surrender* No! I’m good! I’m completely ok with being outside the cube.

Weiss: Good! Now come along you too, a LOT of people probably wish to see you right now. Weiss then uses her summoning glyph to bring out the Arma Gigas, who takes block of ice and carries it for her. With Oscar by her side the two begin to walk back to the main auditorium of Beacon.

Glynda: There you are Miss Schnee, did you manage to reconcile with- Why do you have a giant ice cube?

Weiss: Yes. I did in fact reconcile with my leader and her...husband. And for why I have this ice cube, see for yourself.

The Arma Gigas leaned down so that Goodwitch could see the couple’s faces.

Glynda: .....So I see. Well in any case, a lot of the Xiao-Long and Arc Families are eager to see these two. So would you mind if you could-?

Weiss: Of course.

Weiss’ summoning places the ice cube down and pushes it inside, causing the block to slide against the floor until it’s in the middle of the room.

Ruby: H-H-Hey everyone!

Taiyang: Ruby! *Runs over everyone in his path to get to her* My precious little bud! I-I can’t believe you’re here and alive! .....I...I thought I lost you too. *Hugs the cube*

Ruby: O-Oh Dad....I’m s-so s-s-sorry! I would h-hug you if-f-f my arms we-weren’t f-frozen.

Taiyang: It’s ok sweetie...you’re being here is all I need.

????: JAUNE MILES ARC!

Jaune: O-oh Crud...

A middle aged blonde woman marches over to the ice cube, with a frying pan in hand. Her eyes seemed to project fire despite having no magic.

Jaune: M-M-Mom! H-H-Hold on a s-s-second! I c-can exp-plain!

Mrs. Arc: Young man.....you...*drops the pan*

Jaune: Huh? *Face gets cradled*

Mrs. Arc: My baby...my baby boy.....*sobbing*

Jaune: M-M-Mom..... *Gets tarry eyed* I-I’m sorry for making you g-g-go through that.

Mrs. Arc: Oh Jaune...you have nothing to be sorry about my little blessing. You’re here now.

Nora: Awww! What a wonderful family reunion!

The others began to gather around the cube to ask their questions about where the two leaders have been this entire time, and the couple did their best to answer the many asked questions. Weiss even lessened the temperature of the ices o that they could say complete sentences without the cold stuttering.

Blake: Where happened to you two when you two defeated Salem?

Ruby: Well do you remember how she used her magic to bring the temple up to the atmosphere? Well when it was descending we saw that it was heading straight to the face of a mountain so luckily, both of us clung to a straying falling fragment in time while Jaune amplified our auras to withstand the impact of landing.

Jaune: Still has a bit to spare to heal us enough so that I could carry us to a nearby village. It was a fairly new settlement that probably was uncharted on most maps at the time.

Ren: Which means we wouldn’t have been able to find the village...

Jaune: Bingo!

Yang: *Holding Summer in her arms still, while the baby was contently playing with her hair* What happened to you afterwards?

Ruby: Well after Salem’s defeat, Jaune and I decided that we both wanted to take a little bit of a break from huntsmen work, so we decided to do some traveling. We already confessed to each other after the first month and got our marriage license in the second month at a court house. By that time we had gone from Mistral to Vacuo. But at the time of the third month.....I started to get sick, a lot. Didn’t take us long to go to a doctor to see why and to both our surprise I was a couple weeks along in my pregnancy.

Jaune: So we put exploring the world on hold and settled down in a local down in Southern Vale.

Weiss: How did you keep you’re presence under the radar for so long?

Ruby: Honestly we didn’t even know people were looking for us since Salem’s defeat so we just dressed like normal citizens and kept our hunting gear in our briefcases.

Weiss: Of course you did. *Face palm*

Nora: Welp looks like everything worked out in the end! All’s well that ends well!

•

•

•

Jaune: Um...Nora. Where’s Rowan?

Nora: Huh?

Jaune: The baby you were holding before we ran off you were holding onto him and now you’re not.

Nora: I’m not! *Looks all around herself, but finds nothing* .....Uh oh.

Jaune: .....Nora, you were watching him did you give him to somebody else?

Nora: I don’t think so!

Ruby: What! Nora did you lose my baby!

Nora: Ren did I give him to you?!

Ren: No I haven’t even gotten to hold him. *slightly disappointed*

Nora: Uuuuuhhh no, oh gods. *starts to hyperventilate* I don’t know what I did with him! I LOST THE BABY!

????: Ahem!

Nora and the others look to the source of the voice and there they see Whitley looking upwards.

Whitley: I think I found your missing baby. *Points Up*

Everyone looks up and to the parents surprise/horror, Rowan had somehow climbed up to the ceiling and was crawling on one of the ceiling beams.

Rowan: *Cute Baby Noises and waves at them*

Ruby/Nora: AAAAAAAAAAHHH!!

Nora: Don’t worry baby I’ll save you!

Weiss: Whitley! Why didn’t you tell us this sooner?!

Whitley: *Still looking up* He was doing fine climbing up there by himself so I wanted to wait and see if he could climb down.

Nora: *Up on the beams, slow to approach the infant* Hey there baby Rowan! Hi sweetie~ Listen why don’t you come over here to Auntie Nora. Come on~

Rowan: *Baby noises and crawls the opposite way*

Nora: Wait. No Rowan! You’re going the wrong way! Over HERE! Towards ME!

Rowan: *Baby noises but looks down to see the giant ice cube.* Aaaaaah! Ma! Ba!

Nora: Yes you want to go see mommy and daddy right? So just come over to me and I’ll take you to them. Ok sweetie!

Rowan: Hehehehe! *Falls over the edge*

Nora: NO! *Trues to catch him but fails*

Ruby/Jaune: ROWAN!!

Rowan falls down from the ceiling and just before he gets close to the ground his descent is slowed down before it stops completely leaving him completely suspended in midair. Then he is levitated over to his savior, Miss Goodwitch.

Glynda: Young man. I should let you know that playing in the ceiling is no place for a child to play.

Rowan: ..... *blows raspberries then laughs*

Glynda: *Smiles* You’re very lucky you’re not one of my students. Not yet anyway. Miss Rose, I believe this is belongs to you. *Levitates the baby over to Taiyang, who was standing right by her*

Ruby: Oh! My sweet baby boy, I’m so glad you’re safe!

Rowan: *cute baby noises* Ma!

Everyone: Awww.

Nora: AAAH! *Falls to the ground* .....I’m ok! Ow!

-End of Part 2-

Hope you guys like this second addition to the Missing for a Year post I made a month ago. Stay safe and I’ll talk to you all later!

[ezmodo]

Adulting

“Off to save the world again, Miss Ruby?”

“Nah, just Vacuo this time,” Ruby joked. “Vale’s going to have to warm up if it wants saving.”

The shop keep, an elderly man with kind eyes comically enlarged by thick-lensed glasses, laughed jovially as he rang up her items. The counter was piled high with their normal pre-mission necessities which she transferred to her backpack as the man punched the price into the register. She really liked this shop. It was a bit of a walk from her apartment out on the edge of the city but it was low traffic and mostly frequented by an older crowd that didn’t go gaga over the Ruby Rose.

It had been over two years since Salem’s defeat and people still wanted handshakes (sure) and autographs (awkward) and pictures (awkwarder) and hugs (nope!) from the “savior” of Remnant. Ruby had never been the most sociable person before everyone on Remnant knew her name and now she took every opportunity to avoid attention. What bothered her most was that she got all the credit. Her teammates got notoriety in their own ways – Weiss, the outwardly cold but caring co-head of the SDC; Blake, the soon-to-be leader of Menagerie and unofficial diplomat of the Faunus people; and Yang, expert huntress and regular tournament champion – but it was always the leader of Team RWBY who saved the world, not Team RWBY. And people didn’t even know who Team JNPR were.

“How long will you two be gone this time?” the man asked as he handed over her change.

Ruby thought it over briefly as she straightened out her pack. “Probably won’t be back until summer. Depends on what missions are available once we end up at Shade.”

“Well,” he said, “you two keep safe out there. Give Mister Jaune my regards.”

“Can do!” she responded cheerily, fixing her hood as she stepped out into the cold winter day.

“And let me know when I need to start stocking diapers!” he called after her.

She yanked the door shut a little hard at that, cutting off the shop keep’s good-natured laughter.

---

Ruby held her hood down from the wind as she rushed home. Winter had barely started but the cold was already brutal. The wind was thankfully at her back but it still cut right through her, pushing her to hurry that much more. Her face, at least, was warm, thanks to the shop keep’s parting words.

Why is everyone so baby crazy? she thought sourly. Yang was easily the worst. Her sister was ready (practically desperate if you asked Ruby) to be the “cool” aunt. Nora was a close second. She was already planning play dates for Ruby’s not-even-a-twinkle-in-anybody’s-eye and Nora’s little Hei, ignoring the fact that they lived on different continents. Weiss was pragmatic and blunt – Ruby honestly expected a slideshow presentation complete with charts and graphs on the benefits of starting a family early the next time they found themselves up in Atlas. Blake had quieted down recently; Ruby suspected that Blake’s mom had started giving her the same spiel. Ruby’s father, ironically, never brought it up once. Thank the gods for small miracles.

The Grimm didn’t magically vanish into thin air when Salem was defeated. Bandits didn’t trade in their swords for spades and hoes. There were still battles to be fought and people to save. Ruby knew starting a family wouldn’t stop her from being a huntress but she was living her dream. Why change things up now when they were practically perfect?

She wondered if Jaune got the same treatment on his end. Maybe having seven sisters and gods knew how many nieces and nephews already spared him the worst of it from his parents. He was the only boy, though, and he inherited Crocea Mors. She had met his parents twice before but they never seemed overly concerned about the family legacy. Jaune himself hadn’t brought it up but she suspected he felt much the same as her – getting to travel the world helping people with the love of their life at their side? Life was good.

Rounding the corner, home finally came into view. The two story apartment building was old but far from rundown. Six of the eight units were occupied by other traveling huntsmen, meaning they rarely ever saw their neighbors. The large courtyard out back provided an area for training in between missions, though she and Jaune rarely used it much, endeavoring to leave their apartment as little as possible during those few weeks out of the year they were at home.

The landlady was a giant ox of a woman, literally. The Faunus stood a head taller than even Jaune and cut an imposing figure, often standing out in front of the complex, cigarette clenched between her teeth and muscled arms folded across her chest. Despite her gruff exterior the woman was practically a sweet grandma on the inside, a wizard with casseroles and soufflés. More than a few times while they were home she would make dinner for them, bringing a giant dish of deliciousness over in exchange for stories of their missions. She wasn’t loitering outside as Ruby approached and began climbing the steps to their unit. This lousy cold must have been enough to keep even her indoors. If it’s going to be cold then it should at least have the decency to snow and make it worth it, Ruby groused.

Ruby could hear muffled music through the door as she came up to her apartment; Jaune must have beaten her back. They split up the last of their errands earlier. Ruby would finalize the particulars of their trip – verify contact with their first employer, secure bullhead tickets for the following morning, and pick up some last minute supplies on the way back, while Jaune would hit the laundromat and finish up their last load of laundry before they packed. She’d take walking back and forth across the city over the laundromat any day. Stuck in a cramped, stuffy room full of strangers who might want to chit chat for a couple hours? No thanks.

The door was left unlocked and she let herself in, quietly closing the door behind her. The music was coming from the kitchen, some girly pop song that had some not-quite-as-girly accompaniment. She could smell something cooking. Ruby sat in the cramped entryway and stripped off her hood, bag, and boots, humming along with Jaune as he mangled what was probably a top ten hit.

He most likely hadn’t heard her come in. Jaune could be a bit oblivious, in more ways than just the romantic. Ruby was convinced Jaune could be devoured by a Grimm right in his bedroll and not wake up until he was inside its stomach if she weren’t watching out for him. So, padding over to the kitchen without even trying to be sneaky, Ruby found him hamming it up, ignorant of his new audience.

Jaune Arc was standing in front of the stove, back to her, bopping from foot to foot along with the music. Clad only in black boxer briefs, a pair of limited edition Pumpkin Pete’s bunny slippers (don’t ask how many box tops those cost), and her own bright red apron that could just barely be tied around his broad back, Jaune put on quite the performance. Singing dramatically into a large rubber spoon, he hit notes that would have sent Zwei into a howling fit. At times he’d just bounce in place, pointing towards an invisible crowd as he crooned along with the song. And then he’d be sliding back and forth in front of the stove, shaking his rump and pulling moves that looked more like a medical condition than dancing.

Ruby quietly enjoyed the view as she thought of how best to mess with him. Clear her throat dramatically? Too cliché. Take a video? She left her scroll by the door with her backpack and she honestly didn’t want to miss a second of him dancing around in his underwear. She brought her hands to her mouth, still cold from outside, and blew to try to warm them. Inspiration struck. Jaune looks pretty warm…

Jaune had settled into a more reserved hip shake while he stirred whatever he was cooking on the stove. Ruby sidled up behind him quietly, holding her breath, and waited for the perfect moment to strike. She didn’t have to wait long as Jaune, satisfied with whatever he was working on, sat the spoon off to the side on a spare plate and went to turn off the heat. Ruby closed the distance instantly, wrapping her arms around him and pressing her cold body against his back.

Jaune gave a girly shriek and leapt into the air in fright, managing to drag Ruby up off the ground with him. Ruby let her hands travel up to his chest, feeling his heart pound as she pressed a cold cheek into his back. Jaune whined and tried to writhe away from the sudden chill.

“When’d you get back?” he asked, still trying to worm away from his frozen partner.

Ruby turned her head, switching one cold cheek for a colder one, causing Jaune to flinch. “In time for the concert,” she said cheerily, rubbing her cheek into muscle. She started to pull away, causing Jaune to sag in relief, before quickly snaking her hands under his apron and tightening her grip. Jaune squealed and made to break free. Ruby responded by leaping onto his back, wrapping her chilly legs around his waist while he flailed around their small kitchen.

It didn’t take long for him to give up. Panting for breath, he leaned back onto the counter. Ruby released him with a peck on the shoulder blade and a pat on the head. He grumbled in response as he stepped away, letting Ruby rest on the countertop.

“So, what’s for dinner?” she asked innocently, as if she hadn’t just submitted him to torture.

Jaune took a moment to straighten out the apron before turning back to her. It was several sizes too small for him (it was hers) and she was honestly pretty impressed that he had managed to tie it off at all. A cartoonish Ursa face was stretched across his chest, not quite reaching far enough to completely hide his pecs. It went down to about mid-thigh, covering his underwear and giving the impression that maybe that apron was all he was wearing. Ruby could definitely appreciate that.

“I’ve got good news and bad news and some more good news. First,” he said, both hands raised in a high five, “Mission accomplished – we’ve eaten every last bit of food in the apartment right before leaving.”

Ruby met his double high five enthusiastically with a shouted “boom!” She would never admit it to their friends but that was actually something they’d been trying to get right since moving in. It was surprisingly hard to do. She hated throwing out food right before a mission and a huntress could only live so long on pizza and takeout alone.

“What’s the bad news?” Ruby asked, leaning over to take a peek at the pot on the stove.

“Dinner tonight is mac and cheese. But we were out of milk so I had to make it with water.”

Ruby shrugged. That was survivable.

“But! We’ve got not one, not three, but TWO hotdogs chopped up in there,” he added proudly, getting a snort from Ruby. “Oh! And for dessert…”

Jaune opened the fridge and held a clear plastic bowl sealed in plastic wrap high over his head, as if to present the next animal king of Vacuo to his subjects.

“Mrs. Umber, the One True Landlady, long may she reign, has gifted us with cinnamon sugar cookies!”

Ruby jumped down from the counter. “The oven’s finally fixed?!” They kept forgetting to tell the landlady about it!

Jaune froze momentarily before clearing his throat.

“Mrs. Umber, the One True etc. etc. has gifted us with cinnamon sugar cookie dough!”

---

Ruby made her way back to their bedroom and changed into pajama pants and one of Jaune’s shirts that she pulled from the pile of unfolded laundry strewn across their bed. They’d pack it up properly before going to sleep. Or, more likely, they’d fall asleep on the couch and scramble to pack tomorrow morning before heading to the airport.

She rejoined him in the living room where he was putting their bowls down on the makeshift coffee table in front of the couch. The only proper furniture they had was that couch, their bed, and the workbench they kept in the second bedroom for weapon maintenance. The rest of their “furniture” consisted of boxes. Coffee table? Microwave and toaster oven box. Nightstand? Box marked “books”. TV stand? The box with the TV stand still inside.

Yang and her dad had given them plenty of guff about that whenever they visited. Ruby didn’t see the point. They spent most of the year out on missions and when they were home they spent all their time in bed or watching TV on the couch. Why worry about the rest? It seemed smarter to save their money anyway.

More than a year ago, Weiss had rounded all of their friends together and basically badgered them into setting up a somethingRA through the SDC. A portion of their earnings went straight into it without Ruby or Jaune having to mess with it at all. Ruby didn’t really get the specifics, but Weiss assured her it would let them retire and not have to worry about lien in the future. But why would she want to retire? Huntress for life, baby.

Ruby sunk into the couch and clicked on the TV as Jaune joined her. The added weight pulled her in comfortably against his side. “Wanna finish up Lodge Lodge?” she asked, already navigating through the menus to the cartoon.

“Mmm,” he agreed, mouth full of cheesy noodles. He chewed thoughtfully, a frown slowly growing on his face.

“Mmwha?” she asked, mouth equally full of cheesy noodles.

He swallowed with a grimace. “We don’t have any food for breakfast.”

“We’ll grab donuts or something on the way. No prob,” she said with a shrug. “I’m still crossing “Buy Just the Right Amount of Food So You Don’t Have to Throw Any Out” off of the bucket list.”

“We are terrible adults,” he laughed.

“Psssshh, if this is terrible then I don’t want to be good,” she said, sinking further into his side as the cartoon theme song kicked in.

[rheisa-midnightfury]

OC Interview: Ranaman

I got tagged by @serbaki a while ago and made an Interview with Taz, but I feel like I want to do it with Ranaman as well.

So... here goes nothing. And this time I’m tagging: @wolfgirlraz @ocarina-of-what @celestialkiri

1. What's your name? Lorewalker Ranaman attend.

2. What is your real name? Alright, I may not be an actual lorewalker. But I've been serving the palace in the Vale of Eternal Blossoms for many years now. Maybe I don't have the title, but I would truly consider myself as one.

3. What is that huge glass of wine is for? Oh my, dear. If my brother would have asked me that, I have most likely hit his head with the bottle. It is for drinking, of course. And to give some honest answers.

4. Are you single or taken? *Ranaman reaches for a wine glass and pours some of the red liquid into it. After a huge sip, he smiles shyly.* Do you know any lovely partner for me? Because I'm sure into a great party. If you know what I mean. I haven't find the right person for me yet.

5. Have any abilities or powers? Before Pandaria, I've spent some years at Dalaran. That magnificent city was the first place I've been after I have escaped from my tribe. The knowledge of the place made me stay for a little while. I learned some spells many would consider as frost magic. I have some practice in arcane spells as well.

6. I'm afraid we don't have time for long answers. So can you just tell the... main point. As you wish.

7. What’s your eye color? Dark blue. *Ranaman sips again*

8. I didn't mean that short. How about your hair color? My natural hair color is white as snow...Well, it became white. Before I left home, I had as orange hair, as my brother, but it became whiter and whiter by the days. Maybe because of the too much worry. However, sometimes I like to dye it pink, to match with robes. It's been a while since I wear it as pink.

9. Have you any family members? Apart from my twin brother, I can't tell for sure. I was just nine when I've left my father. Tazanor could tell you if he is alive at that very moment, or not. Our mother died the day we were born. I also have a daughter, named Vrin'na. The very first time and well... the only time when I slept with a woman... One of many secrets the Dalaran holds between its walls. I wasn't there when she grew up, I didn't even know I had a daughter until that lady showed up. We rarely see each other with Vrin'na, but she knows she can seek me up any time, and I'm always there for her.

10. Any pets? I have this flying mount,  a golden cloud serpent. I find Rukka when he was just a little hatchling and with the kind help of the Pandaren from the Order of the Cloud Serpent, I raised him up.

11. Tell me something about, that you don’t like! *A stagy smile appeared at Ranaman's face before sipping from the glass again.* If you have more questions like this, be prepared to meet the drunk and far less affable me. Oh heavens! Where shall I start? From a young age, I hate people who think stupidity is a... right.  Growing up with a company of berserkers, voodoo doctors, and hunters wasn't as pleasant as others from my kind would say.  Because of early experience, I try to avoid witch doctors and voodoo as well. And before you warn me again, there was no short answer to this question.

12. You are the man of many words, aren't you? That is what I'm good at, yes. I'm the troll who drinks and talks a lot.

13. Have you ever hurt anybody before? It depends. Verbal or physical?

14. Well... both? Verbally I hurt most people who think is smarter than me Or do something unwise, like my dear brother.

Physically? I like to give slaps to people who deserve it. I can't really take if someone insults me. Allow for my body type I would never pick up a fight with anyone. I'd rather freeze them to the ground and just walk away.

15. And have you ever killed anybody? We're getting closer to the drunk me. *Ranaman drinks again.*  I will not blanch over it, because there is no nice version of it. Let me just ask you something first. If you have the chance for revenge, would you take it?

16. Uhm... no? Well, I did. I don't believe in fortune, but it was something I can't deny that it was my fate. A man who soured my life was right in front of me. I haven't seen him in years and I never even wanted to see him ever again. Just to be honest. But there he was, encaptured my brother and was ready to... To... Whatever he wanted to do to Taz, wasn't metered at that point. The point is that I took my chance. They can say killing someone is never the right decision. But it's something I'll never regret.

17. Any hobbies? Quick change. I hope you're not afraid of me. That affair was something I would never do, but feelings are one of many things, are hard to control. Anyways... Hobbies, you ask? For now, I wouldn't consider it as a hobby, since it's become my normal life activity. But reading, for sure. It is something I do whenever I can, and when I sit down to enjoy a good book - mostly history ones - I usually have company. Most likely a bottle of red wine or a luscious Pandaren brew. Now! Activities, I don't do often, but I wish I could is traveling. Especially in historical places. Last time I visited the magnificent desert of Uldir. It is such a lovely place.

18.How about your sexual orientation? Let me just say that I both attracted to man and women. But when I'm looking for a partner, I mostly end up with a guy next to me.

19. Did you go to school or are you currently partaking in any educational courses? As I've mentioned, I had spent my early years at Dalaran, learning frost and arcane magic. Since I left the delightful city my life is dedicated to learning all the secrets of our world. You know, how they say: Once you stop learning, you start dying.

20. Do you ever want to marry and have kids someday? It is something I have never thought about. Maybe, if once I'll find the right person...

21. What are you most afraid of? I get the feeling you want to make me drunk. *Ranaman looks at the bottom of the empty bottle.* I don't think refilling would be a good idea... *He sighs.* Alright, as you might have already discovered I prefer keeping distance with witch doctors, but it's not a thing that causes me dreamless and wakeful nights. No. *He looks around suspiciously.* I hope this thing will stay between us! Remember when I said, I don't know if my father is alive... Well, seeing him once again, or even getting any news from him...is really one of my greatest fears. He is one person I want to forget.  But what I fear the most is one day... I'll lose my brother. Taz didn't know how much he means to me, and I never show...

22. You and Taz have such a strange relation. Tell me one thing that's not 'strange' about me. *He smiles gently, reaches for the glass and placing it back at the table right away as he remembered he already drank all of the wine.*

23. What do you usually wear? Mostly robes I sew with my very hands. I have several cloths in a different color, but particularly I wore pink and yellow, sometimes blue. Every piece of clothes has some Pandaren features, it's a small detail I like to add. When I'm alone... which happens to be quite often, I put on a white shirt and comfortable pants.

24. Do you love someone? Oh, dear! If only... *A dreamy smile appeared on his face and stared at the distance for a while.* For some years I thought I was in love with someone, who... happened to be my best friend. Now I understand and respect his feelings and will never try to poison his wife again. But currently, my heart is open, waiting for someone...

25. When was the last time you wet yourself? That's a thing I can't answer, probably when I was a baby or a toddler. I had no parent who could tell me about my childhood so...

26. How many friends do you have? Really close friends, well... they would be Ran'rak, my best friend I mentioned before and his wife, Rheisa. And of course my brother. They are basically my family.

27. What are your thoughts on pie? Oh, you got me! Sweets are one of my weak points. I prefer the cherry one most, but apple and any barry would do. With a huge amount of whipped cream. *He winked and smirked as he leaned back on the chair.*

28. Tell me about your favorite place? Pandaria and The Vale of Eternal Blossoms, obviously. *Ranaman let out a soft, hearty chuckle.* Apart from that, every calm place would do, with a small waterfall. It helps me relax and it's a great way to keep Taz away from myself since he is afraid of water.

29. Are you interested in someone? Not that I know of. Of course, I see some handsome man around, but most of the time I only get refusals. I don't even get the chance of a one night stand.

30. You seem a bit dow, is everything ok? Yes, my dear. You know, sometimes it's just hard. Waking up in the morning, finding no one next to you. If I don't think of loneliness, yes... everything is fine.

31. What’s your bra cup size or how big is your willy, depending on which one applies? *Ranaman grabbed the tip of his ear and started rubbing it as his cheeks turned red.* Who askes? *He gives a shy smile.* Considering my height and body type, I would say...  average? Get me some drink after this and I might show it to you.

32. I pass it, but er... t-thank you? I was just kidding my dear. After all, I don't think you're my type.

33. Well than! What is YOUR type? When it comes to man, I'd say... *He seems to ponder away for a second with a spark in his eyes.* I like the muscular ones, but don't think of huge chunky males. A thin-like body with some muscles, add a little chest hair and...*He swallows a huge and crosses his legs uncomfortably.*  S-so, next q-question?

34. You only mentioned man. Well, never thought about what I like about woman. Sure I don't like big curves, but if I think about it. It was just one time when I slept with a woman as I mentioned... After that night I never tried to flirt with any.

35. Any fetishes? I don't think that it would be considered a fetish. If I think about it... Hm... I like when my partner is stronger than me and carries me to the bed, taking the control. Of course, when I feel confident enough, I would also try to take the lead. I still don't know if it's a fetish... But mostly I like really emotional sex, holding tight my partner with many kisses... *Ranaman sighs and looks at the empty glass next to him, wishing for a refill for now.*

36. Well, I have some other questions, but each is so personal and such... So, I think I'll leave you alone. I appreciate it. You're such a considerate person.

37. Alright. So the interview is over. Thank you for your help! It was my pleasure. Take care, my dear!

[inthefallofasparrow]

‘Incomplete’ - RWBY fic

It had been her father’s idea. Just a trip to see how things had changed in the months since the attack. Maybe a glimpse of the hope that still lingered there; all the tireless effort being done to restore order and rebuild what had been destroyed. Maybe that might inspire her to…

To what?

Yang wandered listlessly down all the familiar streets in a daze, past alleyways and cafés, shops opening for business as usual; people clinging to the veneer of normality, no matter how fragile. The same lampposts and paths and doorways she had seen a hundred times before. But now she didn’t see them. The world seemed incomplete. Now her eyes were obscured somehow, drifting blindly over anything of significance, just in case she accidentally focused on something she didn’t want to see. Or rather, in case she expected to see something only to discover it was no longer there. A selective blindness, desperately preserving her memory of how things should be. Sometimes, she noticed her eyes drifting over her arm the same way.

She had run that night. Run until it hurt in her lungs. Run until her throat felt full of gravel. Run aimlessly, moving from one conflict to the next until it was just a blur. She’d been looking for her teammates, for Ruby, but she knew part of her had just been looking for a fight, for something to punch, for a way to prove herself. And now… well, what had she proved to herself? … Nothing good, in any case.

The students that had remained to help defend the city were set up in makeshift accommodation in front of the courtyard near the centre of Vale. Glynda had organised shifts for teams to be sent out on patrol; a careful surveillance to report and deal with any stray grimm activity that encroached on the borders of populated areas. Most of the creatures were too busy tearing Beacon apart, leaving the city largely secure, but there was still the odd incursion of Creeps or Beowolves drawn to the fearful populace that remained.

“Hello, Yang.”

Fox almost seemed to have snuck up on her, or perhaps she was just too distracted to have noticed him sitting alone on a bench at the northern end of the courtyard.

“Oh, hi,” she muttered, caught off-guard, “… uh, how did you know it was me?”

“Your clothing. It always smells a little… smoky.”

“Oh…”

He stared at her in the deliberate silence that followed. Or rather, he didn’t, obviously, but Yang still found his eyes a little unnerving. He nodded to himself, “How have you been since…?”

She sighed, “Not great.”

“no…” he agreed simply.

Yang shifted her weight awkwardly, “Where’s the rest of your team?

He feigned surprise. “You mean they’re not sitting next to me?” he joked, feeling the empty bench beside him, “Well, you’d better sit down, then. I’m suddenly feeling lonely.”

Yang smiled and relaxed, obliging him.

“We have the day off. I assume Velvet and Coco are probably practice sparring somewhere. Yatsu’s taken to going on long contemplative walks around the docks, but I think that may just be an excuse to be alone.” He shrugged, and then the heavy silence returned.

Yang had barely heard him over her thoughts. She seemed to have accidentally returned to a different Vale. This wasn’t the city she knew. It was an uneasy replica, apprehensive and tense, just waiting to collapse again. And that smothering tension in the air had been building well before the attack. When the alarms went off and the school was overrun, after getting over the initial shock, it wasn’t even much of a surprise that the world was burning around them. Everything just clicked together. Like everyone had been secretly expecting this chaos to break out all along, they just hadn’t realised it. But now it was so obvious. Why hadn’t they seen it coming? Why hadn’t they…?

“Yang?” Fox’s voice drew her back, “What about you? Where are you?”

“What? I… Back at my dad’s place on Patch.”

“No, I mean, where are you now?” He tilted his head curiously, “Something tells me you’re not really ‘here’.”

“Oh, sorry… I’m just… it feels -”

She took a breath and Fox turned away, not wanting to pressure her. She had wanted to say ‘incomplete’, but wasn’t sure what she would be referring to exactly. Fox began to speak, but the wind picked up suddenly and for a while that’s all they could hear. That was all she wanted to hear, if it drowned out that night. If it could just blow Vale away.

“I’m in a pit.” Yang confided wearily, “And at this point, I’m just too tired to pull myself out of it.”

Fox nodded again. The prominent scars on his arms looked angrier than usual somehow. Yang felt like some of them may have been newer, perhaps acquired during the attack. She looked away. She didn’t want to see that. If she could just avoid noticing those little things, then maybe … “We’ve lost so much. Everything’s shifted now... All the normal things that used to be important; classes, training, adventure, becoming a huntress, it’s just … none of that seems to matter anymore.”

That was more than she had intended to say. She didn’t really know Fox very well. Perhaps that was a good thing right now. “Everyone says, ‘Life will get back to normal soon’, but…” she looked down at the ground uneasily, trying to articulate, “I think ‘Normal’ has changed.”

“Normal always changes eventually.” Fox answered, turning to face her, “But you don’t have to go ‘back’ to get there. Normal doesn’t mean ‘how things were’. It just means ‘comfort’… ‘How we want things to be day-by-day, the safety, the familiarity’… But where does ‘progress’ fit into that? How do we move forward, if all we want is to go back?”

“Um… That was a little cryptic.”

Fox gestured across the courtyard, “You see that building over there?”

She didn’t bother to look, “Yeah.”

“Well, I can’t.”

Yang swallowed, caught off-guard again, “I, uh -”

“There was a time when being able to see was normal.” He explained gently, “And it still is for you. I can’t go back to that ‘normal’ now. But that doesn’t mean life is ‘abnormal’ for me.”

He ran a hand through his hair and leaned back, “We lose things sometimes, Yang. Sometimes, it’s friends. Sometimes, it’s hope. Sometimes, it’s a part of ourselves… And it’s normal to want them back. ‘Life’ is just what happens when you continue on without them regardless … But I think you already knew that.”

Her arm itched. She ignored it.

“Continue on regardless, huh? So stubbornness is useful after all. Better tell my dad.” That just made her think of Raven. That’s where she’d got it from apparently. Her stubbornness.

“Sometimes I wonder what my parents were like on a team together.” she noted, happy to change the subject, “With them dating, and my uncle Qrow... I don’t know, I figure that probably caused some, uh, conflict.”

“Team romances typically aren’t the best idea.” Fox grinned, “Coco and I dated for a while about a year ago.”

“Oh, what happened?”

Fox shook his head, “She worried about me. Always afraid I was in danger. It started affecting her judgment as a leader. So I made sure she knew I was capable, then I called it off. Distanced myself a bit.”

“I’m sorry.”

He shrugged, “Of course, she just transferred all of that fear and concern onto Velvet. I should have known, really.”

Yang blinked, “Wait, are you saying? Are Coco and Velvet - ?”

“It’s cute. They think they’re being secretive about it, but I can see it from a mile away… Well, not literally, obviously.”

Yang hadn’t seen Coco or Velvet since the attack, when she’d finally found Weiss with them. Weiss was safe. She was with the others. Now, she had to find Blake. That was all she needed to worry about. Find Blake, and then go look for Ruby. But first Blake. That was about as complicated as her thought process could have gotten as she ran. There was just too much danger around her to focus on anything more than basic goals. Her head was starting to ache from the exhaustion and her legs where feeling heavy and numb, but it wouldn’t matter if she could just find Blake. There were grimm all over the place, but that wasn’t a problem. She’d trained for this. She knew she was prepared for this. She just had to keep running.

“Dad’s pushing me to train again. I thought I was ready, but … coming back here. After everything that’s happened, I’m not sure whether I can now. Maybe I shouldn’t…”

Fox moved his head up slightly as the sun shifted out fleetingly from behind a cloud. There was a peacefulness in him that Yang envied. His demeanour was always calm, even if his voice was still lined with unease. “My father was a huntsman too, but I never wanted to be one when I was little. He pushed me to fight so I could defend myself, but the idea of becoming a huntsman… risking my life day after day, just as a job… Too many of his friends had died. Being a huntsman didn’t sound rewarding or heroic… it was just dangerous and stupid. There was too much to lose.”

The wind began to pick up again, rolling and howling, but he didn’t give in to it this time, “After my sight went, things started going downhill. Other things went wrong in my life and … well, I was in that ‘pit’ of yours a lot longer than a few months. You don’t need to hear the specifics, so let’s just say one day I realised most of what I was afraid of losing, I’d already lost by worrying about. Becoming a huntsman suddenly wasn’t that scary anymore. I knew it was dangerous, but I also knew I could handle it. I was still afraid. I was still angry. But I had a goal to work towards, and that helped me escape where I was.”

“Are you saying that I should -”

“I’m not saying you should do anything, Yang … other than what is right for you.” He turned back to her, the new weight to his voice seeming to still the wind now as he spoke, “If you need time, then take time. If you need to train and fight harder than ever, then do that. If you need to change your path, be ready to make that choice and commit to it. Do whatever you need to do… as long as you have a goal.”

She found Blake. It was a fluke, really. With everything that was happening that night, she could have been running, searching forever. She could have missed her entirely. She could’ve discovered her dead under the rubble. She could’ve never seen her again. But she found Blake. And then it was just anger and pain. Anger and pain and silence.

“When I lost my arm, I was -”

“Wait, you lost your arm?”

“Yeah, in the attack … You didn’t know?”

Fox paused, seeming annoyed, “Coco likes to keep things from me... I’m sorry.”

Yang didn’t bother to continue what she was going to say. She didn’t need to. And Fox didn’t prompt her to go on. Things were just left unspoken these days. Even their words were incomplete.

“You know,” Fox began again, after a while, “I haven’t actually seen this place. The courtyard. I’d never been here before, when I could still see, so … Would you mind describing it for me?”

Yang shrugged, “It’s a courtyard… I mean, there are trees and stuff.”

“Yes… and…”

“I don’t know … Concrete steps. Grass. A lamppost that’s sort of crooked… There’s a woman reading a book under one of the trees over there … sorry, I mean, to your left… Uh, there are some kids running around next to her. I think they were playing hide-and-seek, but one of them obviously isn’t any good at it... Now they’re heading over to the shops, oh, there are some shops on that side … not as many as there used to be. They sell ice-cream and coffee, cakes, you know. There’s a big red sign out the front with flashing light bulbs around it. Some of the bulbs are missing. Um… Across the road, there’s an old block of apartments. Some of the windows are broken and there’s a big chunk missing from the top floor balcony. I … don’t think anyone lives there anymore.”

“I can hear bees.”

Yang looked around, “Yeah, there are some bees about. The flowers are starting to open. They’re these little orange buds. I don’t know what they’re called, but we have them on Patch. Blue ones too, but they have a different smell to them. And over on the east side someone’s planted some violets. I don’t think they were there before… They’re nice.”

“I thought the flowers on the east side were yellow.”

“No, the… I thought you said you hadn’t seen the courtyard before.”

“I haven’t. But Coco already described it to me.” Fox smiled, “I just wanted you to see it.”

[chaosunmasked-blog]

The Unraveling

And here I still am. Sorry about the massive amounts of posts that just appeared.  For some reason, tumblr is blocked at my school, and I was only able to post when I got home. Not to mention I was in the hospital for a week. It was as if it were a best hit album of the best doctors of the bumfuck somewhere place that I attend college.  

Anyways, I was admitted twice in the same week! They let me go the first time telling me everything was normal and to follow up with my primary care doctor in a week. The problem: I don't have one in bumfuck nowheresville where I live. So, they said oh yes you can just stay here for a month until you get this figured out...Uhhh, what?

I don't think they understood that too sick to go to school means you have nowhere to live. Once you withdraw and you live on campus, you're kicked off the property. Also, what about my mom? My parents? They can't just zoom down here and buy a house or rent an apartment for who knows how long until I get better. They have to go to work so that they have the money to pay off my medical expenses. Newsflash: broke college student is even more broke when they have to bus themselves between doctors' offices, the ER and the local pharmacy. My meds now cost me $600 a month, which meant buh-bye spending money for college.  

So, I left. And then, I came back. Symptoms were worse and low and behold, I was admitted to the PCU, which is a step down from the ICU and tested and treated for the whole host of problems that a didn't have 5 hours ago. Yeah, right. They knew I was really sick. It just turns out the hospitalist was a bitch and discharged me knowing that I had a severe restrictive lung disease. Which the last time I check, doesn't mean nothing is wrong with you. My discharge papers also mentioned partially collapsed lungs and acute bronchitis.  The pulmonologist fought to keep me in, but she snuck me out after he left.

Anyways, new list of problems. In addition to the bronchitis and partially collapsed lungs. I have a severe restrictive lung disease, severe GERD which lead to a malformed laynx, extensive swelling and redness, my lungs were pretty much entirely inflamed except for a few spots in the upper lobes, lingual thrush, severely inflamed tonsils (which have been inflamed since July and no one inspected them, seriously??) and abnormal mucosa. I had three biopsies. Also, my arterial blood gases were way off, and I have a weak heart regurgitation throughout almost all of my vales. Also, a new deficiency: potassium. I'm just a leaking ship.  

So much for nothing's wrong right? Also, I almost died in between these admissions when I went to a 2nd hospital for a different opinion (still had that horrid breathing issuwe) and they gave me Valium. Despite the discharge papers from a few hours before stating I had a partially collapsed lung and acute bronchitis, they thought I had anxiety. I was brought back an hour later with increased difficulty breathing, stridor and was unresponsive. Luckily, my mom suggested Ativan which brought me back to life, somewhat.  

If the hospitalist had only done her job properly, her hospital would not be facing a large fine. And, I would have avoided that near death experience. But, in this country, no one cares as long as they get to go home on time. If that poor sucker dies on you, you still get paid. Right? Only matters how many dead bodies you can hide before you get that first million. You've got to be smart about it.  

The best part though was when I was sent home the second time. I was told by my pulmonologist that I was just freaking out over nothing. Everything I have is treatable and don’t go to a doctor for every little thing. However, my parents were told the exact opposite, which led to our little fight today over going to urgent care. I obviously lost as I was too weak to resist when they marched me to the doctor to get some new medication as my symptoms came back. Newsflash, new medication is not working.  

Then, I got curious and did something I hardly ever do, which is to read my medical records. And low and behold, I'm really sick. That's how I found out about all this restrictive lung disease, heart condition and how my body has landed me in a whole new town of fuckery. And don’t forget about that wonderfully high blood glucose, which no one cared to treat. And still is not addressing.  

So, that's almost every system of the body that my mystery illness has affected. It's destroyed my CNS, kidneys, liver, GI track, heart, lung, immune system/bone marrow, eyes, musculoskeletal system,  pancreas, urinary tract and thyroid (levels swing between the two extremes also a new discovery in the second hospitalization).

Yep. And despite all this the pulmonologist said I'll get better. I'm confident. We didn't find anything scary...Yeah, right. This stuff is serious shit. I felt like the ENT was the only honest doctor in the room. He said flat out, "You're too sick to be in school. You're seriously ill and need to be admitted to a hospital that has excellent specialists. I'm out of my depth here."  

And his statement is the only one that was honest. I mean. Seriously. He's good. Also, that nasal polyp I had. It wasn't a polyp. Whatever it was is unknown. Which is a problem. I mean a mass appeared in my nose several months before my health takes another nose dive and disappears. Doesn’t that warrant investigation?  

I also asked about my tonsils that back in July the doctor said they were inflamed due to multiple childhood illnesses. What the fuck? I asked them to take a look, and they said nope. That's what it is. Even though you're seven years removed from any major childhood infection that you had, your swollen tonsils are due to that. It's completely normal. Bullshit. I mean my primary care doctor looks down my throat and saw nothing? He didn’t see the large, swollen, red, thickened tonsils in my throat? All he said was, "You're really sick and don’t know it."  

He gave me antibiotics despite my lack of a fever. I didn’t take them because I didn’t feel like I had a bacterial infection. I had no fever after all. But, anyway it wasn't bacterial or even what he thought it was. He always thinks I have sinusitis, which I did not and do not have and he gave me the meds for that. Whatever freaky thing is growing on my tonsils is not responsive to antibiotics because it seems like it got a whole lot worse.  

But anyway, I am not surprised by this development. I'm fucking dying, and no one can figure out why. It has been the status quo for almost a year. Maybe hope still exists out there with my specialist in the middle of somewhere, but I can only pray he comes up with something when it's not too late. Or if the nurses will even tell him one of his patients is probably on the verge of death. (Honestly, he's the best doctor I've ever run across and the first to actually read my entire medical record, but his nurses are the worst bitches I've ever run into. I have to call several times in order to get my two buddies in there to get my messages through.)

Despite France's backwards culture, the doctors actually do a through job and take into account your medical history. Here, the docs throw all that away most of the time guess and nearly kill you (if it's not something mundane). I mean of all the docs I've been to, excluding psychiatrists and psychologists, he's the first to actually do his job. I guess it helps not being American trained? I can't give an answer as to why doctors are so shitty here versus any developed country, but ask a good doctor (if you can find one) and they'll give you a laundry list of issues they would like fixed. (Ironically, I know a good doctor and he prefers to treat himself before relying on one of his colleagues. That should tell you something.)  

Exhibit A, the urgent care center. What just happened to me this evening is a clarion call to all those who think America's medical system needs a wake up call. I told the doc, here's my medical record from my recent hospitalization. Her answer, "I don't have time to read that." Instead, she failed to take a medical history. I brought up my thrush infection, since it could cause some of my symptoms when it spreads. She said my thrush infection is something that should be taken up with my primary (which I told her I don’t have yet in the middle of bumfuck nowheresville) and gave me an inhaled steroid because my dad asked her for it.( Nowhere in the notes I received from the hospital did the lung doctor mention that I needed that.) And it didn't help anyway. So, there you go. Drug number 18 and it doesn't work.  

This is the problem in America. No one wants to do their job either as a citizen (the election of President Trump) or as a doctor except for the very few (25%) who actually like their jobs. I imagine in that 25% there are probably a good chunk of incompetent people so the percentage of good doctors that won’t kill you in the US is probably quite small.  

So, there it is. Sunday is on the horizon and I hope to make it to Monday at the least. But who knows. All I know is that those Syrian refugees being diverted away from the US are going to receive much better healthcare than myself.