#Cas was not going to hide the snake from dean and sam forever

[shallowseeker]

Hardly any time had elapsed since Jack lost his soul, and it came crashing down so alarmingly quick. It was so unfair... Cas was on his way home to come clean about Jack. HE WAS ON HIS WAY HOME TO COME CLEAN ABOUT JACK. HE WAS ON HIS WAY HOME TO COME CLEAN ABOUT JACK. HE WAS ON HIS WAY HOME TO COME CLEAN ABOUT JACK. HE WAS ON HIS WAY HOME TO COME CLEAN ABOUT JACK. HE WAS ON HIS WAY HOME TO COME CLEAN ABOUT JACK.

I can't remember if it was you, Whiskey or you Cal, that said the timing of everything was so fucked up.

Cas went searching for a miracle, and he PRAYED TO GOD.

And then, ON CAS'S WAY HOME TO TELL THEM THE TRUTH, RIGHT AFTER PRAYING TO CHUCK ON JOSHUA'S BAT-PHONE, THINGS BLEW UP.

Jack's temper could have certainly flared all on its own. But it's so suss that Cas made his prayer, and then Mary almost-immediately died.

In 14x20, Chuck says he "heard him."

If Chuck heard him in 14x17, then ??????????????????

[wisteria-lodge]

Character Analysis: Sorting Castiel

courtesy of the @sortinghatchats​ system.

LION PRIMARY - Sense of morality and ethics comes from inside. Things just feel right or they feel wrong.

First things first. I completely get why people are saying that Cas has to be a Snake primary with his morality and motivations bound up in the well-being of Dean Winchester. His whole love confession was very Snake-flavored - “I cared about the whole world because of you” - such a Snake thing to say. And we know (from a couple alternate-universe Castiels) that Dean is the reason he tore up his entire life and rebelled against Heaven. So far so Snake.

But I want to talk about one of those other Castiels for a second. Apocalypse!Cas (with the Slavic accent) is loyal to Heaven, sure. But he’s also... not doing great. This Cas is twitchy, stuttering, he’s got about 15 facial tics. He looks like he’s gone half mad. He is not the cold, detached, selfish and hyper-capable Burnt Snake I would expect in that situation (*cough* Soulless!Sam). That’s a Cas who on some deep level knows he’s doing wrong, and cares.

The way I see it, sure Dean may have pushed him over the edge, but Cas was already doubting. Even back in Season 4 he’s telling us, “I’m not a hammer. I have doubts,” and making cynical little asides like, “they don’t tell me much.” Heaven has a very strict Badger primary culture, and “crack in his chassis” Cas knows he doesn’t really fit.

Dean quickly becomes the most important thing Cas’ life because he represents a way out: another group to join, another set of values. Dean is a Badger (like the angels) but a softer Badger, one Cas has an easier time agreeing with. Dean’s even the prophesied “Righteous Man” which means his morality comes pre-approved by God. He becomes Cas’ replacement Heaven, his commanding officer. Dean’s coping mechanisms and mission statements become Cas’ coping mechanisms and mission statements. Castiel tries to be part of the world though him.

But it doesn’t work. Because Cas is not a Badger, no matter how hard he tries to be. The first time we see him truly angry is also the first time he sees Dean as morally flawed. Cas beats him up, yelling, “I rebelled for this?! So that you could surrender to them? I gave everything for you. And this this what you give to me?”  

He’s doing what a lot of Burned Lions do, looking for an external conscience that gels perfectly with their own felt morals. And then getting angry when that person turns out to be fallible. Cas goes on a quest to find God (ie morality/goodness/meaning) using Dean’s necklace as a guide. Then when he fails to find God, he acts like it’s Dean who has betrayed him.

So Castiel starts down the Path of the Unhealthy Lion Primary. He declares himself the new God (the most extreme version of Exploded Lion possible.) And when that doesn’t work, goes insane for a while. He gets amnesia, hears Leviathan voices in his head, actually spends time in a mental hospital. It’s a dramatic way of talking about a Lion primary who has no idea what their internal voice is saying anymore. The whole Naomi arc just underlines this one more time: Cas doesn’t know what he’s doing, because he is controlled by Heaven. So he needs to to break though his brainwashing and find his internal sense of rightness.

I’m also thinking Lion primary because in order to heal, Cas has to go off by himself, get internal, and just sit with his thoughts. That’s what he does alone in Purgatory and through a lot of his “becoming human” and “hiding the tablets” arcs. The most dramatic example is when he dies for the fifth time and is stuck talking to the Empty’s Personification (who happens to sound a whole lot like Apocalypse!Cas...) 

"I'm already saved. You can prance and you can preen and you can scream and yell and remind me of my failings but somehow, I'm awake. And I will stay awake and I will keep you awake until we both go insane. I will fight you. And fight you and fight you forever. For eternity."

This is the moment when he plants his feet, stares down impossible odds and goes No. You move. Cas has gone deep, found his meaning, found that inner voice that will keep him going - and keep him stable - and he will never let it be taken from him again. He��s become the heroic Lion primary.

And that’s the context a lot of metas are missing when they talk about Cas ending up in the Empty during Season 15. The Empty is a place of great strength for Cas. So during his confession when he says, “happiness isn't in the having. It's in just being. It's in just saying it,” what he’s saying that he’s complete in himself, without Dean. In that moment, Cas becomes somebody who doesn’t need to follow anyone anymore. And if Cas wanted to have a relationship with Dean after that, well, he’d be in a good enough headspace to do it.

BADGER SECONDARY - fair, hardworking, shows up. Good at getting people to trust them, good at getting people to help them. If they see a locked door, they knock. 

This is definitely how Cas problem-solves. He makes himself part of groups, and once he’s there he takes on support roles and caretakes. Sometimes he lays on the tough love a little harsh, and can seem kind of direct-Lion-secondary flavored. But I don’t think Cas even has a Lion secondary model. It’s just his loud primary shining through. There is a cleanness and straightforwardness to Cas’ methods that is important to him as a character, and makes him a nice contrast to the Winchesters, who model everything.

In the later seasons, after he gets a little healthier, Cas starts to build his own family (Kelly and Jack to start.) But even when he goes dark, he goes dark like a Badger – Cas the blackmailer, Cas the interrogator.

He builds things a little bit at a time. That’s how we saw him learn to be human. He’s inspirational and effortlessly attracts allies. Dean responds well to those Badger secondary you’re safe with me vibes. And even Cas’ idea of how to deal with Empty on his his dark night of the soul is so, so Badger: I will sit here, and keep at it, and argue with you forever.

tl;dr

LION PRIMARY that is first burnt, then exploded, then burnt again, then healed / BADGER SECONDARY

[my-proof-is-you]

I Hate You, I Love You - Ch. 17

Summary:  It had been over a year since you had hunted with the Winchester brothers. You had felt you couldn’t hide your feelings anymore, so you left. While you were gone, life had been anything but good. When you meet up with the brothers again, you can’t resist staying with them. But your feelings for Dean are far from gone, and you’re afraid the pattern will remain the same. Can you hide what happened to you last year from the boys, or will the past come back to haunt you?

WARNINGS: Rape/Non-Con, mentions of graphic violence, torture

**I do not own the gifs or pics

Masterlist

You

You stood in a nearly empty room facing a bed. The same girl you had seen in your dream was strapped to it, her wrists and ankles rubbed raw from the restraints. There was a gag in her mouth, and her eyes were glazed over, devoid of emotion.

You rushed up to her, reaching to untie her. When you tried, though, your hand went right through the ropes. It was as if you were a ghost.

“No, no!” You yelled. You were sure that this was real. You looked at the girl again. She was pretty with dark hair and eyes. Her skin was much too pale, and if she hadn’t blinked, you’d have thought she was dead.

“We’re coming to help you, I promise,” you said to the girl, kneeling beside the bed. Her eyes didn’t move or focus on you.

Suddenly, she began to thrash around. She pulled at the restraints, ripping open her wounds and causing her to bleed. You stood and followed her wild gaze to the bedroom door.

Brad stood in the doorway, his favorite knife hanging limply from his hand. His eyes were on the girl, sizing up his prey.

His eyes flicked from the girl to you. You looked around you, thinking there was no way he could see you.

“Y/N...I’ve missed you,” he said in his snake-like voice.

“Let her go, you bastard!” You yelled. Brad ignored you, walking slowly closer. You tried to back away, but found your feet were glued to the spot.

Just inches from your face, you could smell his putrid breath as he spoke. “I know what you’re doing. I know you’re going to try to save her.”

You turned your face and closed your eyes, fear filling you at being so close to your nightmare.

“You can certainly try,” he said, sliding the cool steel of his knife down your arm. “But I will warn you...if you don’t come alone, I will kill her.”

Your eyes snapped open. “Don’t you fucking touch her.”

He smiled evilly. “Better hurry,” he said. He took both hands and shoved you as hard as he could. You fell backwards and sat up, finding yourself back in the Impala.

“You okay?” Dean asked, his worried eyes shifting from the road to you.

“Yeah. Let’s just hurry,” you said, not looking at him. You had to figure out how you were going to get the boys to let you go alone. You knew it wouldn’t be easy, but as you stared at the scenery rushing past you out the window, you began to think of a plan.

Dean

You had suggested stopping at a motel to get everything together that the three of you would need to end this dick. Sam and Dean were getting the weapons together in the motel when you said you were going to go out to the trunk and get some first aid supplies to bring as well. Charlie followed close at your heels, sensing your anxiety.

Dean was looking down at the guns while Sam was sharpening some blades when you came back in.

“Y/N, you can just put that stuff in this backpack. We’ll just wear it in so our hands are free,” Dean said, not looking up.

“Okay,” you said. Dean noticed you sounded a little off. He looked up to ask if you were okay.

Before he even had a chance to react, you had slapped a handcuff on each brother, connecting the other ends to the radiator.

“Y/N, what the hell are you doing?!” Dean yelled. You had stepped out of reach, grabbing the weapons and backpack before turning back to him.

Dean saw that your eyes were welled up with tears. “I’m sorry, Dean. This is how I have to do it.”

Before he or Sam could argue, you and Charlie were out the door. Dean heard the sound of his baby roar to life before you peeled out of the parking lot.

“Shit!” Dean yelled, slamming his fist into the wall. Sam was trying to mess with the lock on the cuffs, but had no luck.

“Don’t worry, man. We’ll get out of this and catch up to her.” He said it with an air of certainty, and Dean was jealous. He felt anything but certain at that moment.

“Do you have your phone?” Dean asked angrily. Sam checked his pockets and found that he did. Dean sighed in relief.

“Call Cas. Now.”

Forevers:

@malfoysqueen14

@divadinag

@lynne1993

@awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce​

@infj-slytherclaw

Deanies:

@tftumblin

@deans-baby-momma

This Fic:

@heyyy-hey-babyyy

@mere-mortifer

[shirtlesssammy]

14x18: Absence

Then:

This show is toying with our lives, all for the sake of narrative symmetry.

Now:

Sam and Dean are back at the bunker with no Mary or Jack in sight. One beer and some ironic praising of Jack later, Dean tries calling Mary, only to find her cell ringing from another room. “Try Jack,” Sam suggests.

Several calls to everyone else that will probably be dead by the end of this show (I’m in a dark place right now, guys) later, their one lead is with Rowena. She has a spell that might track Jack and Mary. Cas calls Dean back and confesses his concerns about Mary being alone with Jack. He’s concerned that Jack isn’t ok, and then tells Dean about Jack mercy killing Felix. Dean’s already in hyper-freaked out mode so he doesn’t take Cas’s revelation too well. And by that I mean he hangs up on Cas. Good job, Dean, dealing with your emotions like an adult human.

Anyway, they need to find Jack, asap. Sam brainstorms the idea of tracking Jack’s cell phone. They quickly realize that he’s flying all over the world.

Jack eventually ends up back at the cabin, his battery almost dead.

He flashes back to memories of his time with Mary. The flashbacks are all in black and white and there’s just a brief flash of yellow/orange between them and present day (v. cool.) While Jack remembers Mary, he’s visited by his very own Hallucifer. UGH. Although, while I didn’t put it together on the first watch, I feel like watching Jack being tormented by his devil father shows that Jack’s soul is not gone. He is in complete anguish about Mary throughout this episode --not something someone without a soul feels. Anyway, the dark part of Jack’s mind tells him to accept what he did. Jack insists that it was an accident, but the devil on his metaphorical shoulder tells him to tell Sam and Dean that --see how far that gets him.

He plays with Jack’s emotions to the point that Jack blasts him away. Oh, Jack.

Meanwhile, Sam and Dean are on their way to the cabin. Cas is going to meet them there. Sam tries to reason away Jack killing Felix. “Really, with the snake?” OH MY GOD. I feel like Dean has TOO MANY emotions and they’ve all bottlenecked and can’t get out so he’s gone into angry reactive mode and I do. Not. Like.

Once at the cabin, Sam finds the burnt corpse of Nick, and Dean, well, Dean finds a barren blast site of ash and nothing.

We cut to Cas, alone in his truck, flashing back to a memory of Mary and him soon after she came back. They were hunting together (despite the brothers believing she needed space to process her new world order). Ah, it’s quite a touching moment between the two of them and I’m getting sadder the more I watch.

For Sadness Science:

Especially this exchange:

Cas: I know you know this, Mary, but Sam and Dean, they’re glad to have you back. Whatever you still have to deal with and however long it takes, you should know they’re happy. Finally they don’t have to be so… so alone.

Mary: Castiel, they were never alone.

Mary’s words echo in Cas’s mind as he leaves his car to meet up with Sam and Dean. Once in the cabin, he finds Sam and Dean (who turns his back on him! Gah) and the charred remains of Nick. Dean insistes that they don’t know what happened, but if Jack did something to Mary --he looks at Cas and utters the words that will forever scar my heart: “Then you’re dead to me.” Cas takes Dean’s anger stoically, while Sam tries to reason with him. I mean, clearly, Dean’s anger isn’t at Cas, it’s at himself, at the circumstances, at the possible thought that he’s lost his mother AGAIN. (although this post by @tinkdw rings true and fits the lack of communication issues these two have had for some time now.)

Anyway, Cas gives his speech about Jack and his faith in him--and he’s using past tense!-- and I’m not ok. When Cas’s voice breaks at “We were a family and I didn’t want to lose that.”??? Bury me in a ma’lak box in the sea, guys.

Rowena calls. It’s nice to see that as Dean and Cas are breaking up, Sam and Rowena still are able to communicate. <3 <3 <3 Rowena can’t get a handle on Jack. “And Mom?” Sam wonders. “I don’t know what happened, or where she is, but I can tell you with certainty, Mary Winchester is no longer on this earth.” Fuuuuuuuuuuuucccccckkkkkkk. Cue Dean breaking a chair in 3-2-1…

Sam wants to know what they should do. “We fight. We fight to bring them back.” Dean wants Rowena to resurrect her. (Listen, I’ve read Pet Semetary...uh.) He barks at Cas to go to heaven and locate Mary. Sam and Dean are heading to Rowena’s place.  

We cut to Rowena working her magic, and folks, she is a sight.

There’s a knock at her door, and it’s Jack! Rowena offers to call Sam and Dean and Jack instantly shuts that down. He admits that he killed Mary and it was an accident. He needs Rowena’s help to undo it. Jack asks about a spell from the Book of the Damned. Rowena starts talking about one (and she looks ever so briefly at the door when she’s telling her story...LOVE that subtle bit of acting!!) The Necromantiorum spell requires simple ingredients and great power. There’s another knock on her door. Sam and Dean have arrived. Jack whisks her away to the bunker in a flash.

Cas walks through the playground at Heaven’s gateway, calling for an angel. Nothing but the wind answers him…

Meanwhile, Jack has flapped Rowena to the bunker to get ingredients. He sees marks on the floor and has a flashback about Mary. In it, she teaches Jack how to throw a knife. It goes poorly, but she is super supportive anyway. She even helps hide the damage to the floor. Mary Winchester, you are an A+ person! Sam approaches. He’s exhausted from the search for Michael-possessed Dean.

Mary tells Sam that she understands the parental guilt that Sam is feeling for not being there for Jack. She tells Sam that he’s amazing, brave and kind. I’m just gonna…cry in a corner for a while.

In the present day, Dean continues flipping out at Sam while he paces Rowena’s lushly decorated apartment. He circles back to Cas’s culpability, but Sam tells him that they both knew Jack was dangerous. Sam brings up the fact that he made the decision to use the soul magic to bring Jack back, unasked for by Jack. Sam admits that he peaced out on the bunker after Michael killed all the AU hunters, leaving the burden of parenting to Cas. Dean reluctantly admits that he’d let his guard down as well, ignoring Donatello’s warning about Jack.

Jack paces the bunker, looking a wee bit worse for the wear. Rowena tries to connect with him, but Lucifer butts in. He needles Jack about his plan to bring Mary back, painting it as a desperate ploy to get in good with the Winchesters again. Rowena gets to hear one side of the conversation and stays remarkably composed. It’s like a terribly uncomfortable cooking show.

Lucifer tells Jack that he’s just imagining the guilt and pain, as a soulless person. But COME ON, Jack is clearly suffering. This is more than self-preservation.

Rowena finishes collecting spell ingredients and asks for the last item: Mary’s body.

Um. Houston, we have a problem. Ashes apparently don’t count.

Sometime later, Cas stands in front of the sandbox. Just an ordinary, trench-coated dude hanging out alone in a playground. He tells Naomi that he won’t leave until he gets to talk to her. The portal ignites. Hey! Good job, Cas!

Dumah appears, gives Cas some extreme passive-aggressive sass, and asks him if he’s there for Mary Winchester. Um. Maaaaaaybe?

Cas tells her that he wants to bring Mary back, “Because she’s gone!” Hey. I’ll just be over here clutching a blanket around my shoulders to protect myself from all this grief everywhere. Dumah tells Cas that Mary is in a “special heaven” and has achieved peace, at last. We find all of this terribly unsettling, like the plot of this episode is a shark swimming around telling everyone that it’s a dolphin with sort of a wonky fin and just don’t look under the surface. Would you like to pet the strange dolphin? WOULD YOU?

Ha ha. Eh, sorry. Went a little off topic there.

Anyway. Back with Rowena and Jack, he flies her to the cabin and shows her the burn site. Rowena tells him that the spell won’t work without a body and the obliterated ash field is not enough. Jack decides he’s going to do the work himself, which Rowena thinks is a terrible idea. “A cardinal rule of magic,” Rowena cautions. “Disposition affects execution. And you are spinning. Whatever you bring back, it won’t be her.” Rowena refuses to help his mad scheme, compassion thick in her tone, and Jack tosses her all the way back to her apartment.

Rowena stands up, utterly pissed off, and calls Sam. She tells them what Jack is up to. “He’s desperate, confused, angry…” (Hmmm all emotions, you might say.)

She tells them that Jack may bring something terrible back with his attempted spell.

Cut to Jack who is attempting the spell. Oh man. He does the ritual and the skies open up in a heaving vortex of purple-black clouds.

While the spell works, Sam and Dean approach in the Impala. Jack cuts off Baby’s engine (oh NO HE DIDN’T) and finishes the spell.

Dean and Sam race on foot to stop Jack, but it’s too late. He greets them with, “It didn’t work.”

He flaps away and Dean races forward to something lying on the ground. It’s Mary Winchester….’s body. There’s no trace of life. Dean holds his mother’s body and flashes back to driving in the car with her late at night, headed towards or away from a case. She’s asleep on his shoulder and he looks down at her and just…

If you need me, I’ll be searching the nearby forest for my broken heart.

Jack holes up in some gross warehouse while Lucifer cozies up to him. Lucifer tells Jack that because of his failure to resurrect Mary, nobody will take him back into their lives. TFW won’t trust him anymore, so Jack can never trust them. Ugh, Lucifer, you’re the worst. (Man, I really look forward to the day when I won’t feel the need to type that anymore.)

At the bunker, Sam goes through old photos of Mary when Cas walks in. He tells Sam that Mary is in Heaven. “She’s at peace,” Cas says. Dean rather aggressively asks if Cas is just gonna take Dumah’s word on it, but Cas reports that Dumah took him upstairs and let him see Mary’s door. He opened it, and watched from the doorway as Mary lived in it. “She’s with John and there’s no sorrow. No guilt. Just joy.” 

Sam tells them all that Rowena thinks Jack just brought back an empty body. A replica, “incapable of holding life.” Ouch.

“What are we supposed to do now?” Sam asks, sounding lost.

“What we always do,” Dean says. Fight, right? Let’s FIGHT someone! Oh wait, no. What they “always do” is burn the bodies of their loved ones while clenching their jaws stoically.

We get a slideshow montage of Mary moments. MARRRYYYYY! ;__: (Boris: okay if they throw a new photo on the pyre every time someone dies, they’re gonna eventually run out of photos.) Cas tries to approach Dean in comfort but Sam holds him back and shakes his head as if to say, not now. The camera wheels away like a circling hawk, leaving the three of them alone at a crossroads. [Pun completely intended.]

Ceci N'est Pas Une Quote!

I don’t think Jack is well, Dean.

Who cares? It’s a snake!

I could heal you if you’ll let me.

It wasn’t bad. It was the absence of good, and I saw that in him.

I don’t know what happened, or where she is. But I can tell you with certainty Mary Winchester is no longer on this Earth.

Kids - they always surprise you.

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[themoonandotherslikeit]

What the Rain Can’t Wash Away- Chapter 4

*FINAL PIECE IN THE LOOK IN HER EYES TRILOGY*

Sixteen years after Lucifer rose, and Dean lost his wife he finds himself with a teenager, a Nephilim, an angel, and his brother living out a Full House rerun with some seriously dark undertones. How will he be able to raise his daughter, fight monsters, and deal with the loss of the love of his life? Sometimes moving on is the hardest part, but with the Winchester’s there’s always something harder around the corner. Isn’t there?

Chapter Four, Poughkeepsie 

Dean

"A... pearl?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"Yup," Sam said smoothly. "It grants your deepest desire."

"That means...Micheal gone. That's my deepest desire!"

"Exactly." Sam grinned triumphantly. "So you think you can hold off on the whole deep sea plan for a few days?"

I swallowed. If this was true.. then fuck. That could be the solution. "Seems a little too good to be true, man. Don't you think?"

My little brother shrugged. "Maybe, but we won't know until we try. Ya know?"

"Do you have any leads on it?" I pressed. I would be damned if I got my hopes up just to have something else fall through. Just to have another wild goose chase.

"Actually, we do," Cas said, literally stepping out of the shadows.

I jumped in my seat at the table. "Jesus, man! What're you doin lurking like that?"

"I wasn't lurking, Dean," Cas said with a huff. "I was just waiting for the best moment to bring you the good news."

"Well, it was creepy," I said, taking a swig of my beer. "What's the lead?"

Cas walked to the kitchen table. "A man named Larkin. He is a collector, of sorts. A procurer of rare occult items."

"Like Bela?" Sam asked, making a face.

"Not exactly," Cas said smoothly. "He keeps them for himself. Locked away. Sometimes he will sell, for a price, but something like this won't be for sale. It's too valuable."

"Right," I sighed, rubbing my forehead. "So what do you propose? We ask nicely?"

"I was thinking we should steal it."

"Cas, you naughty girl," I said through clenched teeth.

Sam shrugged again. "Won't be the first time."

"What's with you two?" I asked, standing. "You have a death wish for a half assed lead?"

"It isn't half assed." Sam frowned. "This is a real lead, Dean."

"Well, we don't know if we can get it or if it would even work."

"But we should still try," Cas said gently.

"Respectfully? Fuck no. This guy probably has an arsenal."

"So?" Sam rolled his eyes. "We have an arsenal. We can handle this, Dean."

"Just put me in the box, Sammy. Put me in the box and let me fucking rest."

I turned to leave but Sammy grabbed my arm to stop me. I turned to meet his pained expression. "Just let us try, Dean. Please."

I sighed. How could I say no to those fucking doe eyes? They were the same ones that got me a thousand times over. The same eyes that pulled me out of my head, out of the pocket that Michael had slipped me into. He gave me strength I didn't know I had. "Okay, Sammy. We can give it a shot, but we can't wait around forever. You got a game plan?"

"The start of one."

"How far away is it?"

"Bout seven hours."

"Good. We can finish the plan on the way. I'll let the kids know we are headed out on a case. Wheels up in ten."

  -Three weeks earlier, inside Dean's mind-

 I flipped the Tequila bottle. Once, twice. "Damn I'm getting good at that." I grinned to myself, finishing pouring the shot.

"Shit,” a voice came along with the chime of the front door. "It's really coming down out there."

I turned toward the familiar voice. Ava. "Hey, Sweetheart."

"Got your precious limes. Hope my Afro is worth it," she joked, shaking out her black curls. They were a bit bigger than usual from the humidity.

"Totally worth it," I grinned widely, gesturing for her to come to me. "We can't have the house special without limes. What are we, savages?"

She hopped up on the bar, and slid into my arms. I pressed a gentle kiss on her lips and she smiled against me.

"I missed you," I told her.

"I've been gone half an hour, you're so needy," she teased, kissing me again.

"Yeah, well, it felt like a fucking life time."

Ava grinned back at me. "Should we close up? It's pretty fucking dead in here."

"You're right," I sighed. "And I need to do the books."

"You're really sexy when you talk management to me." She wiggled her eyebrows.

"Well, Mrs. Winchester, I could use the help. Step into my office?"

"In a minute." She smiled. "I want a famous house special." She slid off the bar top and rested on a stool.

I sliced a lime effortlessly, like it was second nature.

"Have you heard from Nel?" She asked, leaning in to me, the tops of her breasts poking out from her V-neck.

"At the movies with Claire."

"That's a normal teenage thing to do. I'm so proud." Ava grinned. "Does this mean she's given up on the idea of being a hunter like Mom and Dad?"

"We aren't exactly hunting anymore," I said with a smile. I reached out and ran my thumb over her bottom lip. "We're business owners."

"Yeah, we are."

I sighed. "Yeah, Sam and Cas are still on that ghoul hunt in Wichita. Should be home soon though."

"Maybe we should hire Sam as a bar-back." She grinned. "With you two behind the bar we won't need to do ladies night to make extra money."

"Don't objectify me," I scoffed, even though I couldn't hide my growing smile.

"You love it."

"I love you."

"I love you too, Dean." She leaned forward, touching my cheek with her soft hand and kissed me.

Something inside me ached at the kiss, and I pulled her closer, deepening it. I would take her right there on the bar top if she'd let me. I would run into the rain and scream I love my fucking wife! There was no need, though, I had her, and nothing would rip me away from her.

"Two House Specials." I grinned, sliding her a tequila shot, a lime, and a beer. I opened my own beer.

"Best special around." She smiled, raising her shot glass. "To Rocky's, to our dysfunctional family, and to us. Love can solve anything."

"Fuck yeah it can." We clinked glasses and downed the shots.

Ava wiggled as the alcohol ran through her, and she wrapped her lips around the lime, sucking.

I hopped over the bar and swiftly walked to the front door, flipping the sign to closed.

"What're you doing?" She asked, removing the lime from her lips.

"Gonna do what I've been thinking about since the moment you walked back into this bar."

"And what's that?" She asked coyly.

"'Mere and I'll show you."

I walked to her, meeting her in the middle before pulling her into my arms. She fit there like she was made for me, like I was made for her. I captured her lips in mine and ran my fingers down her back.

"Dean," she whispered.

"Dean."

I turned, with my hand up her fucking shirt, to find Sam and Cas staring at me wide eyed.

Sammy stood there slack jawed like a complete creep.

"No offense, guys, I'm glad you're here, but Christ can you not watch?" I laughed, moving my hand out of Ava's shirt.

She readjusted her top and her hair. "Hey Sam, Cas. How was the case?"

"Ava," Sam muttered.

"What's wrong with you, man? Was it a tough one?"

"I'll get you two a beer," Ava said, going behind the bar. "We have this new one from Austin. It's an IPA, you'll love it."

"Dean," Sam said, grabbing ahold of me. He turned my attention from Ava behind the bar, one of my favorite versions of her, to him.

"What man?"

"What's going on here?" He asked low.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, shrugging him off.

"Glad you two are back safe," Ava said, cracking the caps off the beers. "I think Dean was starting to get worried." She smiled brightly. Damn she lights up a room.

"Was not," I grunted.

I made my way back behind the bar, and snaked an arm around Ava's waist. "What're you two waiting for? Want her to bring the beers to you? Drink up." I slid the beer to the edge of the bar, waiting for Sam and Cas to oblige. They'd never had a problem drinking my free beer before.

The two of them raced toward the bar and Sam placed his palms flat on the bar top. "We don't have time for this. I'm sorry, Dean..."

"Sorry bout what? I'll drink the beer if you don't want it, Sammy."

Ava laughed. "Not if you're wanting to... you know." She eyed me.

Cas raised an eyebrow. "Wanting to what?"

Ava looked to me for approval and I shrugged. "We are trying to get pregnant again. Now that things have slowed down... and beer can lower the sperm count. We already have a lot against us from our age. So no more than one drink a day. He promised."

I pulled her into my arms and kissed her. "And I won't break it." I swore to her. I looked to my brother and Cas, who honestly looked like someone ran over their puppy. "What the fuck is wrong with you two? Thought you'd be happy?"

"Dean.. None of this is real. Okay? The bar... Ava.."

"Excuse me?" Ava asked, moving out of my arms. "You've never met anyone more real than me, Sam Winchester."

"You're just a complex manifestation of Dean's memories designed to distract him," Cas said sadly.

"You really know how to talk to a lady, don't you?" She grinned. "Just have the beer, Castiel. You're a little tightly wound."

"Okay, listen to me," Sam said, frustrated. "You have to remember what's going on out in the real world."

"I know its raining." I gestured to the bay windows in the bar. "What else do I need to know?" My whole world is in here. I thought, kissing Ava's hair.

"No! I'm not talking about the rain. I'm talking about Michael."

I blinked a few times. "Michaels in the cage."

"Sam you okay?" Ava asked gently. "Was there something more that happened on the hunt?"

I stroked the length of her back, feeling almost blissful. I barely noticed what Sam and Cas were saying. Being this close to her just felt so fucking good.

"No, damn it. It wasn't a bad case."

"Michael is possessing you," Castiel said carefully. "You have to remember that."

"Come on guys," I groaned. "What? Is this some kind of joke?"

"No, Dean," Cas sighed. "It isn't a joke."

"Okay, okay," Ava said, putting her hands up. "If we are inside Dean's head then he should be able to control things, like a lucid dream?

Sam looked flustered. "I don't know, maybe?"

"Then let's go ahead and skip all the dirty stuff. Where's my baby, Dean? Get me pregnant with your brain," she said before busting into laughter.

"Baby, I don't want to miss the dirty stuff." I wiggled my eyebrows at her.

"Dean listen to me. This bar is not real. Ava isn't real. You know what happened to her," Sam said insistently.

I frowned. "Man, that's my wife. Stop talking about her like she isn't here."

"She isn't here, Dean. Ava.. Ava died that night in the church. The night that Lucifer rose. You remember that, right?"

I frowned and closed my eyes. Do I?

"It's going to be okay, Ave. I've got you. I won't let you go," I said into her hair. "You're the one, sweetheart. It's always been you. From the second I walked into that bar. It'll be okay, because everything with us is right. You're the only thing that's right."

I opened them back and she was gone. "Where the... where'd Ava go? Ava?" I ran out from behind the bar. "This isn't funny... this... this is my life." My eyes stung. "This is the dream!"

"No, Dean," Cas said sadly. "This is a dream, Dean. That's all it is. Please you have to try to remember, because the people in your life.. in your real life out there need you to come back. Eleanor needs you to come back."

Eleanor.

"No." I shook my head. "Nel's in a movie with Claire. She's being a normal kid. She's happy. We're happy."

Sams eyes flickered to mine and with a sad expression whispered. "Poughkeepsie."

"What?" My heart sunk.

"Poughkeepsie."

Ella

Two days after the boys went to look for the pearl

 "I haven't heard from them." I crossed my arms, pacing the length of the kitchen. "I'm starting to get worried. They call they always call."

"Maybe their phones are dead?" Claire offered weakly. She knew that this was as bad as I did.

"They always check in Claire. What if something happened? What if Michael escaped and blew them up? What if they're..."

"We will go save them," Jack said, standing suddenly.

"I know where they went," Claire said, meeting my eyes.

"You do? They told you?"

"I sort of... fuck. I didn't want to have to lie to you. They were looking for a solution for Michael. This magical pearl that grants you your hearts desire."

"So they think they can use it to get Michael gone?"

"Yeah. We think at least."

"Claire, why didn't you tell me?" I asked, desperately.

"We didn't want to get your hopes up if it wasn't going to happen," she sighed.

"Do you think it can really work?" Jack asked, hopeful.

"That's the idea."

"If they're still alive," I said, cracking my knuckles. "Jack's right. We have to save them."

"We could call another hunter."

"Claire, why don't you want me on this? I can do it. I know how to shoot, plus, I'll have you both with me." I smiled, taking her hands. "Let's go save our Dad's."

"Fine," she said curtly. "But I don't like it.

"Someone wise once told me that I don't have to like something, but I do have to respect it."

"What dumbass said that?"

"Mmm not sure, but damn I bet she was pretty," I said, placing a kiss on Claire's lips. "Wheels up in ten?"

"Really, Dean Jr?"

I shrugged with a grin. "Always wanted to say that."

"I will pack the snacks," Jack said with a nod.

"Not a lot though, Jack! We are taking the bike," Claire said flippantly.

It had to be a real funny sight seeing Claire and I on a motorcycle, with Jack in the sidecar. Like real fucking funny.

I borrowed one of Claire's leather jackets and my own boots. Jack was wearing one of Sam's jackets, even though it just about swallowed him whole.

"We have a long ride, so get comfy," Claire said, kick starting the bike.

I wrapped my arms around her waist, pressing my face to her back. This is all I need to be comfortable. You're all I need.

Claire turned back to me with a smile, before closing the plastic on her helmet over her face. "You're all I need, too."

—————

Chapter Five, Adventures in Babysitting

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My 14x17 Opinion

Game Night

This was the first new episode since “The Announcement” and I have to say I was putting off writing it. I usually post these the day after, but I procrastinated so it’s a bit late. So forgive my butt-hurt tardiness and let's have at it.

I enjoyed this episode, though it wasn't without some issues. I must say that I was pleased that it wasn't as Sam-lite as I thought it would be from the promo pics, trailer, and knowing Jared didn't work a lot that week, I will always want for more Sam in an episode, but all his parts were necessary and high quality in this one, so I'm not angry at all. 

We start the episode with Donatello making cookies, singing Raindrops are Fallin’ on my Head, which made me smile. It made me think of Butch Cassiday and The Sundance Kid and I love that movie, and if J2 ever want to play the leads in a remake, I would be willing to pay for it myself! 

Donny gets interrupted by the door, and we know this is a problem because its the first 5 minutes of SPN, let's be honest. As soon as I see the bad guy’s wedding ring, I think “Shit... here comes Nick”. I thought he was gonna kill him and I'm glad he didn't. I like Donny, he looks like my dad. 😊

Back at the Bunker, the fam is getting ready for “Winchester Game Night” and Dean is playing Mouse Trap, and having no luck getting it to work. I had that game as a kid too and was never able to get it to work either, but it was fun putting it together! I did think it was a little sad but fitting, that Dean would have played that game as a 4 yr old, but leave it to John and Mary to give Dean a game made for older kids, that never worked out the way it was supposed to and had too many small parts he could choke on. (the irony is not lost on me)

Mary and Jack are in the kitchen. I could literally almost smell the Jiffy Pop popcorn. A Saturday night staple at my house growing up (any of you out there ever taste that greasy salt left on the sides of the foil pan? Good stuff!) and Mary starts in with the questions for Jack. I got a kick out of him telling her its annoying, and her face after. It’s ok Mary, he’s fine, he’s just a teenager now. Something I guess she never got to experience from the adult side. 

Sam is out getting pizza, and all the times they’ve had pizza, I never really saw what Sam likes on his. Apparently both he and Dean like lots of pepperoni. Good choice boys! The joy is short-lived (of course) by Donatello’s call, and Dean and Mary go off to help. I loved Sam sitting there researching. I have always loved his look of interest and concentration during these times. Smart!Sam moment #1 he figures out the language is ancient Hebrew, #2 he has the moment of realization that he knows it’s from the Bible, and knows what chapter and verse. (demerits for the writers though for not knowing Peter is in the New Testament and is in Ancient Greek, not Hebrew, but kudos for Sam/Jared for at least knowing the book is located near the back of The Bible)

Mom and Dean in the car. Now we have the talk about how wrong she knows she’s been but how appreciative she is to have this time with him and Sam. Uhoh... sounds like lines typically given to a character who is soon to be killed off? Hmmm we’ll see. Soon they arrive at Donny’s to find Nick. He says he's poisoned Donny and to save him, they have to help him. He wants to talk. 

Back at the bunker, violent rage!Sam awaits!! GOD that gave me tingles in the best way! I loved Dean leading Nick down the hall in cuffs, in slow motion as if leading him to his execution, and Sam standing there with his chest puffed out like a friggin’ bulldozer, and the snarl and slam attack against the wall!! (hand me that towel, please??) Dean backs Sam off, lots of brother touching going on, but we need intel, we can't kill him yet. 

Now Sam is in self-loathing mode.... he thinks everything is his fault. So many people dying because of him. This is gonna be a big issue soon, I promise. Mom talks Sam off the self-deprecating ledge and tells him he gave Nick another chance because he’s a good man and that's why she’s so proud of him. Sam softens up into the sweetest “aww shucks ma” smile and I want to hug him💕 also, still lines are being spoken by mom that are synonymous with being killed off.

Now, I procrastinated talking about Cas and Anael because the whole thing was boring. I'm not a wife hater but at least make her necessary if you’re going to cast her. I was ok about her role as Sister Jo for Devil’s Bargain but she hasn't been necessary since. Cas wasn't even necessary in this episode. We knew he was hiding the fact that Jack killed the snake, and there are probably 1000 other ways they could have reminded us that the Samulet is still around and maybe they can use it, than for him to find a similar one in the thrift shop or whatever that place was. I dug Methuzula though, he was the oldest dude in the Bible. He wasn’t an angel, for any of you worried about him liking lasagna or why he couldn't just smite Cas... its because he's HUMAN just extremely old. 

On to more interesting things. 

Nick wants to talk to Jack. I was not pleased with Nick referring to Jack as his son. Im not 100% convinced that the writer (and all involved really) remembered that Jack isnt Nick’s son, but added that as a note of empathy Nick has for Lucifer, you’d THINK someone, particularly Jack would say “Im not your son” ?? but anyway, he gives intel to Jack and also gets his blood (dun dun dunnnn) 

Sam is again a smarty pants and knows the antidote for Thalium is Prussian Blue (makes note) and figures he can hack the live feed (brains are so sexy) I also love that Sam’s word is the go word. So many more decisions are made because Sam thinks its the best option than he's ever given for in the fandom. So Sam and Dean take Nick with them to find Donny. 

I really love the broments in this part. Dean tells Nick if he tries anything funny, Sam will shoot him. “And if anything happens to me....” “Sam will shoot me”  “To start!” says Sam... because if he hurts Dean, Sam isnt letting him off that easy. But in true SPN form, as soon as Sam and Dean are separated, shit goes south.

Mom calls Sam and lets him know Donny was shot up with Angel grace, as Jack figured out, Nick was playing them. Now the fight between Sam and Nick ensues! Nick tells Sam why he used Donatello, which was to bring Lucifer back, “You can't, he’s dead he’s in the Empty” Sam says but this show’s self-awareness gets me sometimes lol Nick’s like “Cmon Sam you know no one stays dead anymore” and Sam starts kicking his ass. 

Now, I have already seen a million of you whine and complain that Sam didn’t kill Nick. It’s almost as though some of you have never met Sam Winchester. Of course Sam could have killed Nick, and most of us wish he did, but Sam has stopped himself from killing humans before. He stopped himself with Jake in AHBL and also with Toni in 12x01. Unfortunately it always bites him in the ass. Could it be that Sam thinks if he can kill a human with his bare hands that he’s a monster? This isn’t bad writing folks, this is Sam’s character. 

Nick takes advantage of Sam’s hesitation and starts nailing him with a rock. Spewing crap about Sam being Lucifer’s Perfect vessel and such.... this can only mean that issue will be coming up soon! Sam gets in the car and starts laying on the horn for Dean, calling out to him... Dean hears Sam is in trouble, enough playing around here time to kill some demons. 

When he gets to Sam. he sees he’s badly injured. Sam can hardly hold on to consciousness, protective!dean kicks in! Apply preasure to the blled, call 911, call mom. Now check for brain damage and play a counting game with Sam This hurt my feels so much, it made it feel so much more serious than all the other head injuries he’s sustained. Dean and his caring big brother smile and light hearted speech so Sam doesnt panic just kills me in the best way!! Sam tries to count with him a little and breaks into “You always put me first... your whole life” and manages to muster a little smile. Dean knows Sam believes he’s checking out, and you see the fear all over Dean’s face as Sam fades away. (OMG these 2!! Every freakin time!!)

Meanwhile, Mary and Jack found Nick and he has summoned Lucifer and just about to take him in again (Lucifer looked pretty cool,,, gotta say) and Jack zaps Lucifer back into the rift (no not forever guys... cmon) and starts torturing Nick. Mary kinda flips out telling Jack to stop. He’s contorting his hand, burning him from the inside out... not simply killijng him. Mary is full on worried now. Jack stops and Nick is laying on the floor. Mary is in shock and tells Jack to go help Sam, He heals him and Dean cant even hide his relief as he turns away to catch his breath. 

Now Jack returns to Mary who is more than worried about how Jack was torturing Nick. We know the Winchesters dont mind killing, but draw the line at torture. However, Mary stupidly poked the bear. She could have just kept herself and Jack calm and talked to the boys later, but she poked and poked till Jack freaked out. Though I am wondering if Jack was also hearing Lucifer when he was shouting “Leave me alone!!” But in any regard, he looked at Mary and something happened. Fade to black. 

Aside from the Cas/Anael part, I really enjoyed this episode. A few issues yes, but it hit most of the marks needed for me to enjoy an episode. Ive already rewatched it twice and will again and again. 

On a scale of Bloodlines to Lebanon, I give this a strong 7.5 without the Cas/Anael bit it would have been an easy 8.

[thewnchstrs]

Home is Where I’m With You

Pairing: DeanXsister!reader, SamXsister!reader

Disclaimers: a few tears were shed, fluff

Word count: 1.6K

Masterlist

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I zipped up the last of my bags, panting with the effort of trying to get the rest of my things together, silently cursing myself for procrastinating packing until the day before I was supposed to move in. We had to leave today, the nearly ten and a half hour drive to Texas looming over our heads.

It was bittersweet. As I stood in the middle of my room, trying to memorize every piece of my first real home in over thirteen years, my heart swelled with memories.

“You ready, Y/N?” Sam’s voice asked from the doorway. I turned on my heels to face him, my arms secured over my chest. 

I nodded, taking my last glance before the spring of next year. I reminded myself that this wasn’t an ending- but a new beginning that had so much laid out for me. “Yeah, I’m ready.”

Neither of us made a move to leave, but instead, continued standing and marveling at the small room that had come to be much more than a bedroom. It’s significance to me might have sounded silly to some, but that didn’t matter.

“You know, I remember the day I left for school.” Sam said, nodding his head, his mouth slightly upturned in a smirk. “One of the scariest days of my life.”

I held my breath, worrying my bottom lip between my upper teeth as I looked to Sam, my older brother, someone who I could confide anything in. “Seriously?”

Sam nodded, “It’s a huge step, going to college. You’re an adult now, you’re responsible for much more than you were before. You’re in the driver’s seat now.”

“Damn,” I said, feeling slightly more on edge. “Way to lighten the mood.”

“But that’s not my point.” Sam said, shaking his head as I looked at him. “My point is that...even though it’s scary, and it’s going to be hard, you have so many opportunities laid out for you, Y/N. You’re kind, and strong, and smart as hell. Don’t let those challenges get in the way of all the things you’ll do.”

I smiled and nodded, grateful that Sam always knew exactly what to say. “Thank you, Sammy.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“Pretty nice digs,” Dean said, nodding as he walked the short length of the dorm room we’d just finished setting up. Well, that Sam and I just finished setting up. Dean said he’d be back when the heavy lifting was finished, Sam claimed it was because he didn’t want me to see him cry when he realized I was really going through with my college decision.

The last day and a half flew by quickly. Our ride to the school scarily normal, as if we were on our way to a new town on a new hunt. Dean played his music too loud, Sam pestered him about how he was the only person on the planet to still on cassette tapes. I listened to their back and forth arguments about if Bon Jovi was even all that talented, to which Dean came to the conclusion that it rocked...on occasion.

For the first time in a long time, I didn’t slide my headphones into my ears and I didn’t try to drown them out. Instead, I laughed at their attempts to out do one another, gave my opinion on whatever they seemed to be arguing about at the time, and even- though I’d never admit it- sang along to a few of Dean’s songs.

Where car rides this long used to feel like an eternity, now it felt as if I blinked and we were here, getting ready to say goodbye.

I finished hanging up the last of my clothes and rearranging my desk for the third time before I turned to my brothers who stood in the middle of the room, none of us unsure what to really do now. 

“Well,” Dean said after a few seconds of silence. “I guess, uh, we should get out of your hair, or something.”

“Oh, yeah,” I said nonchalantly even though my heart began to ache, “I mean I have a lot of, you know, things to do. New student things. Like, visit campus and find where my classes are, and stuff.” I opened and closed my mouth, knowing I was just rambling now. My eyes bounced from between the two of them, “So, I guess I’ll see you later. Or something.”

Sam swallowed roughly, pulling me close to his chest. The heartstrings keeping it in place bursting open, torn down the seams as I tried to think of something, anything to say to him. “Thank you for everything.”

Sam pulled away, the skin around his eyes becoming red as he smoothed my hair down as he shook his head, “Thank you.”

I held onto his hand before he turned making his way out the door, leaving Dean and I in the middle of the room. This would be much harder. Dean was practically my dad after our biological dad died, leaving Dean the responsibilities of parenthood lingering over his head. Dean had to be so much more than just a brother to Sam and I, and he did a damn good job at it. 

“If you need anything, and I mean anything, you call Sam or I okay? Just promise me that much.” Dean said, his voice low which meant he was serious. 

“You know I will.” I nodded. Dean smiled sadly as he pulled me in this time and we stood there for God knows how long. “Thank you.”

It felt as if there were a string tightly wound around us, trying to keep us from going our separate ways. He ruffled my hair and we both pretended not to notice how we cried. 

Dean turned on his heels but before he left, he pulled a small package out of the inside of his coat and laid it on my desk. 

“See you ‘round, kiddo.”

The door clicked behind Dean. I listened, my ear on the door as their footsteps receded farther and farther away, before I pushed myself off the door and grabbed the brown package, carefully opening it in my hand.

A small picture frame held a picture of me, Sam, and Dean out in front of the Impala at Bobby’s salvage yard. I remembered exactly when it was taken, and how mad I was at Bobby for having it printed. My hair blew wildly around my face, my eyes squinted and mouth wide open in mid laughter, Sam and Dean, beers dangling from their fingertips with their heads thrown back. 

I smiled at the framed picture, running my fingertips over the glass as I set it on my desk, knowing they’d be watching over me.

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10 Months Later.

Spring.

I nearly threw my car into park as I pulled up to the bunker, beaming with excitement at the sight of the old, rusting building. The sun hit it just right so that you could see every crack of the stone, every vine that snaked its way up and down the walls. The bunker had never looked so beautiful.

I raced down the concrete stairs to the front door, so excited that my hands shook as I tried to find the right key on my key ring when finally, the last one I tried slid easily into the lock. I pushed the door open with my shoulder, bursting into the bunker at the top of the spiral staircase.

“I’m home!!” I yelled, racing down the stairs. “Sam? Dean?” I ran toward the library where a few open books sat, papers scattered around them, but no Sam and Dean. 

This time, I tried the kitchen, running down the hallway and slamming to a stop in front of it, flicking the lights on when-

“SURPRISE!!”

Numerous voices rang out from the kitchen, balloons scattered the tile floors, a banner strung from wall to wall with “Welcome Home, Y/N” written in sharpie, and most importantly, Sam, Dean and Cas blowing on kazoos. I failed miserably at hiding my smile, throwing my arms around the three of them at once. 

“Welcome home, Y/N.” Cas smiled when I pulled back. I laughed, looking around at their decorations, noticing for the first times the streamers that were taped to the ceilings with duct tape.

“It’s good to be home,” I beamed.

“Good to have you back, kiddo.” Dean smiled, “Now. I’m going to cut into that pie,” he said, pointing in the direction of the carefully made pie sitting on the counter before pointing to me, “and you’re going to tell us everything.”

Dean quickly passed out the pie, all of us sitting around the table in the kitchen as I told them about the last ten months. Everything from the best to the worst classes, and how I bought a twenty year old car for $200 with less than ten thousand miles on it, eliciting an approving head nod from Dean. It all seemed so strange- telling them about my life that had changed so drastically in less than a year. 

“Sounds like an eventful year,” Sam said as I leaned my head on his shoulder. “You planning on going back-”

“Now wait wait wait,” Dean said quickly, licking the rest of his pie from his fork and pointing it toward Sam and I, “She just got back. She ain’t goin’ anywhere for a while.”

We all laughed, just like we did for the rest of the night where we stayed up, filling each other in on our now very different lives. College life is great, and I knew I wanted to go for as long as I could, but I would always savor the moments I had with my brothers most.

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[girl-next-door-writes]

A Kindness

Characters: Sam x Reader

Summary: Sam finally has the life he always wanted with you.  He was happy and everything was perfect but was it a little too perfect?

Word Count: 1500 words

Prompt: “Don’t mistake my kindness for weakness. I am kind to everyone but when someone is unkind to me, weak is not what you are going to remember about me.”

Warnings: Terribly written angst.  Sorry guys.

A/N: This my (late) entry for the amazing @atc74 and @d-s-winchester and their Double Trouble challenge.

Sitting behind the wheel of the car as the rain cascaded down the windshield he ran through his speech one last time.  As soon as he had discovered you were here in this town he’d had to come and meet you, tell you that he was sorry, that you were amazing and lovely and the best thing he’d ever had in his life.  He needed you, had been so lost without you in his life.  A smile played on his lips and he took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves, as he climbed out of the car and into the torrential rain.  By the time his long limbs had carried him along the path and up the steps of your porch the door had been flung open and you stood there, just as beautiful as ever. An effortless beauty in whatever you wore.  His rehearse speech died on the tip of his tongue and instead his body did the talking, hands cupping your face, lips pressing against yours, a sweet kiss which quickly became heated as your fingers ran through his hair and he lifted you up in his strong arms, carrying you into the house and kicking the door shut behind him.

Standing by the grill in the backyard Sam smiled at the little boy and girl running around squealing in delight as their Uncle Dean chased them. His eyes met yours as you walked across with a tray of drinks, placing them on the table before joining your loving husband at the grill.  His arm snaked around your waist as you leaned your head against his chest, your hands resting on your swollen belly where the newest edition to your brood was currently growing.  Sam kissed the top of your head, inhaling the familiar scent of your shampoo and letting out a contented sigh.  He had dreamed of this for so long but never really believed he would get it. Surveying his family, he smiled softly. Life was pretty damn perfect.  

Perfect.  Something completely free from faults. Something that has all the required or desirable elements, qualities or characteristics. Something as good as it can possibly be. The word had begun to haunt him. It was little things at first.  He had dropped a slice of buttered toast and it had landed butter side up.  You’d even made a joke about it being lucky and he had laughed it off.  One evening at dinner he looked across and saw his brother eating a salad with no complaint.  When he had questioned it, Dean had laughed it off, claiming that he was getting to the age where he maybe had to watch what he ate and rabbit food might not be so bad after all.  The nagging doubt began to grow and as he pulled the puzzle of his perfect life apart it became more and more confusing.  His brain was screaming at him that this was not real! That he was in danger.  His fight or flight senses kicking in over the slightest thing.  His heart, however, was telling him to leave it alone, not to risk losing this, losing you.  

The next morning he woke, but it still felt as if it were a dream. Something about this place was not real but he couldn’t put his finger on it.  It could be the shifting dimensions of the house, now he came to think about it. He tried his best to remember how many bedrooms they had, he could have sworn when they moved it there were only three but that couldn’t be right because there was the master bedroom, little Bobby’s room, little Jody’s room, the nursery for the new baby, the guest room where Dean practically lived, the other guestroom where Cas occasionally stayed, the room that looked out onto the backyard that his dad liked to… hold on, that couldn’t be right because his dad…His brow furrowed and the plaster on the wall to his right seemed to peel away but when he turned to look at it there was nothing wrong.  “Sam! Help!” your voice rang in his head and he wasn’t sure if he had heard the words or if he just thought he had.  A panic gripped him and he began to hurry down the hallway, only it didn’t seem to be getting any shorter.  Sam began to run towards the stairs but they always seemed just out of reach.  This wasn’t right.  His mind began to race through all the things in this life which were ‘off’ and he could feel the world shifting around him.  His single thought was that he had to get to you.

Sitting up he felt woozy, the bedroom unfamiliar and it took him a while to get his bearings and then it all came crashing back.  The rogue angel that was currently using your body as a vessel, the hunt, the ambush, the violet powder thrown in his face.  Scrambling to his feet he felt his chest tight.  That bitch had been hiding in you for months now, slowly taking over bit by bit and he’d been too caught up in trying to figure out how to tell you how he felt to realise there was something wrong.  He should have known something was wrong. Stumbling out of the room he found himself in a larger space, his eyes landing on your familiar figure throwing things in a case a few feet away.  You turned and looked at his way but he knew that it wasn’t you seeing him.  “Damn.  I was hoping that little spell would last long enough for me to make my get away. I did enjoy that dopey look on your face though, it must have been one hell of a dream world.” The voice was yours but there was a harsh edge to it he had never known and an anger gripped him.

“Why? Why would you do this?  Have you not taken enough from me?” he snarled, his grip on the angel blade tightening.

“Oh, come on Sam, we both know you’re not going to use that.  You aren’t strong enough to stick that nasty knife into this pretty vessel of mine.  I simply gave you everything you wanted. Consider it a reward for your… kindness.” The smirk looked wrong on your face, like it didn’t belong to you

“Don’t mistake my kindness for weakness. I am kind to everyone but when someone is unkind to me, weak is not what you are going to remember about me.” Sam pulled himself up to his full height.  Anger flashed in his eyes, anger and pain.  “What you did to me was cruel.  There was no reward in that.”

“It’s the only way you are going to get her back.  She is slipping away Sammy boy, I can feel it.  You want to say a final goodbye?  I could let her take the driving seat for a moment.” The tilt of the head and raised eyebrow was something he had seen you do a million times before and he wondered how much of you was still in there.  

“Please. Give her back to me.” His shoulders slumped a little as the familiar eyes rolled at him.

“Okay then lover boy.  You didn’t like my last gift, so I will let you have this.  It will be a final goodbye Sam.  Make the most of it.” As if a switch had flipped within your body he could see the change sweep over you and he ran to you, cupping your face.

“I love you.  I love you so damn much and I should have said that to you all the time.  You can fight this.” His forehead rested against yours as he fought back tears.  The spell had taken it out of him, but he wanted to remain strong for you.

“It’s the end of the line Sam.” You smiled sadly, a tear escaping and making its way down your cheek.  “You have to end this.”

“What?” he breathed, his hazel eyes searching yours, begging you not to ask this of him.

“This is our chance to end her.” You pressed his angel blade into his hand and pointed it at your stomach.

“I can’t. I can’t…” his bottom lip quivered, and you reached up to stroke his cheek.  

“You can. Nobody said it was easy.  What we do, we have to make sacrifices.  Help me make this one.” Your thumb brushed away a tear that was making its way down his face.  “I love you Sam Winchester.”    

Dean found his brother twenty minutes later, sat on the floor cradling your lifeless body and sobbing into your hair.  He spotted the bloody angel blade tossed across the room and put two and two together.  Looking up at the ceiling, he blinked back his own tears before crossing the room and wrapping his arm around his brother. Sam Winchester was the kindest man you had ever known, and the strongest.

Forever Tag List : @deanxfuckingadorablexwinchester  @nea90sweetie @knittingknerdy @feelmyroarrrr @vintagevalentinexx  @cojootromuelle  @littleblue5mcdork  @littlenerdgirl16 @mysteriously-lost @luckynumber1213 @palaiasaurus64 

 SPN Tag List: @thewhiterabbit42 @like-a-bag-of-potatoes @sumara62 @captainemwinchester @createdbybadappreciation  @nostalgic-uncertainty @princess-of-erebor1992 @sunskittlex

[supernatural-squadd]

Big Brother Knows Best

Winchester x Sister!Reader // Demon!Dean

A/n: I’ve been watching old episodes and getting fic ideas so bare with me and my little shit fics. I really almost didn’t post this one.

Warnings: Blood, Dean is a demon, Angst, mentions of death, violence?

Forever tag list: @Freaksforthewin , @thewinhunter, @cambriacaneatnoodles, @brokennoone , @youtubehelpsmesurvive , @chrisevansthedoritobastard , @winchesters-favorite-girl , @we-know-a-little-about-a-lot @godh8salyssa   @dean-baby-Winchester  @straightasdeanwinchester​ @animexchocolate​ @fabulouslycassie​ @lizbeth-loves-bobear @nicolesyneah25

Edit is mine

A firm hand gripped your own sweating one. Pulling you around the corner away from the taunting calls behind you.

“Can’t run from me forever, Sammy.” The voice speaking wasn’t that of your brothers, rather something entirely opposite. “And pulling our little sister into this wild goose chase? Not hardly fair at all.”

Words couldn’t express how badly you wanted to rush into your oldest brothers arms. Beg him to come back to you and be the man you knew he was. Every part of you knew Sam would keep you as far away from him as he could. He’d throw himself in between the two of you if it came down to it. No questions asked.

Your mind was snapped back into the current events when Sam grabbed hold of your shoulders and shook you.

“Hey, don’t zone out. Not now.” Taking a giant gulp of fear you nodded shakily. “Go.” His head nudged in the direction of a closed door.

“What? Are you out of your damn mind? I’m not leaving you here to get your head whacked off by our demonic brother.” With your right hand you held on tightly to his left arm. Just above his wrist.

“I’m right behind you, Y/n.” There was no use arguing with him. He wasn’t going to allow you to stand there next to him.

A bad feeling rested in the pit of your stomach. In every horror movie you watched when somebody said they’d be right behind someone, they were always lying. And they usually always ended up dead.

Bright red flashing lights beamed from unknown areas of the bunker, startling you. Just as your hand reached out to open the door it was swung open. Sam was breathing heavily and pushing you onward to continue running.

Dean was always the brother you thought to go to first when something is wrong. It was a natural feeling of pure protection when you were around him. Now he was hunting you down in your own home.

“Come on guys! Lets have a nice long chat. Crack a beer…go over things.” Hearing how carefree and reckless Dean was just in his voice shattered you.

The hallways seemed to be long and endless. Like a a giant maze. You had no idea which turn would lead to where, but you followed on the direct path Sam pushed you on. After all, big brother knows best. Your small scared body was shoved into a door which was locked after your entry.

“Sam? Sam, open the damn door!” This particular door was the only one hidden in the bunker. It was a secret escape route Cas and Sam discovered after Dean had bailed off with his new demon buddy, Crowley. The one way he had no knowledge of.

Heavy but slightly silenced breathing came from the other side of the metal sliding door. “You need to get out of here, Y/n. I won’t let him hurt you.” Their was a hint of fear mixed with strength in Sam’s voice. You knew what he was planning, yet hoping he wouldn’t have to do.

“I won’t let him hurt you either! You can’t lock me up and fight for us both, Sam! He’ll kill you. He’ll take his time and enjoy it.” Every word that poured from your mouth was at a whisper. Trying to prevent Dean from catching wind of the conversation.

“That’ll leave enough time for you to bail.” Sam had no intention of leaving Dean. He never did. But you didn’t plan on leaving either of them.

“Wonder what’s behind door number three?” A booming voice roared.

The sound of an axe hitting against the once perfect door protecting Sam was being hacked apart.

“Don’t come through that door Dean! You won’t leave me any choice.” You heard something coming from Sam. Something you hadn’t heard in awhile. Defeat.

Dean merely laughed and kept hitting away. “Or what? We both know what choice you’ll have to make. And we both know what that choice will be, Sammy.” The smile on Dean’s lips could practically be heard it was so loud.

“Dean! Please stop this!” Both of your fists began beating on the door as your voice yelled as loudly as it possibly could. “Fight this sickness inside of you. I know you can.”

“Personally, Y/n. I like the disease!” Another swing of the axe. The door was practically able to be entered through.

Footsteps ran away from the door. Sam was bailing, knowing Dean would follow for the thrill of the chase.

“No! Dammit stop it!” The edges around your balled up fists began to bleed from beating on the door so violently.

Another set of footsteps trailed off in the same direction. And the chase began. You could stand by and do nothing. Demon or not, it was your brother.

Quickly you scanned the room for a way to open the door, until a bright red switch revealed itself. Instantly you flipped it and the door slid open. The moment you turned to the left to run after them both, a strong set of arms grabbed to your chest from behind while the other snaked around your lips to prevent noise from coming out. Dean. .

Fear took over your body completely. “Sh sh sh.” His words silenced the tears and the small muffled noises coming from your closed mouth. “Walk.” A sharp object was poked lightly into the center of your back, forcing you to walk.

“Call to him.” He was going to use you to draw Sam out of hiding.

“It’s a trap don’t come out-!” His firm hand regained position on your lips, forcing you to stop speaking.

Hopefully- hopefully, Sam would listen to you for once and run as far and fast as he could in the other direction from your crazed brother. Of course this wasn’t the case. Instead his figure slowly crept out from behind a corner. His eyes widened as he saw a blade being pressed hard enough to draw blood against the skin underneath your chin.

“Let her go, Dean. It’s me you want dead. Not her.” Sam did his best to try and talk Dean out of his dead set plan. Hands being held up as a sign of surrender.

“Are you kidding?” The voice behind you laughed. “Why deal with one when I can deal with both?” As his lips spread into a smile, you couldn’t see it, but you knew it was there.

“Do it.” You finally found the courage to speak.

Sam scoffed. “Y/n, shut up.”

“Do it, Dean.” You pressed against the blade willingly, drawing even more blood.

“Shut. Up.” Sam protested. Trying to get you to stop encouraging it.

“You’re not the bad guy, big brother. You’ll always be my hero. I’ll always see you as my Batman and nothing can change that.” Slowly you closed your eyes, preparing yourself to feel the skin slice open even more on your neck.

A little movement happened behind you. By some miracle Dean’s grip on you was now gone. Instead Castiel held him from behind. Eyes shinning bright as he held your furious brother.

“It’s over, Dean.”

[waywardmoeyy]

My Guardian (Part 4)

Castiel x Reader

Word Count: 2100+

Warnings: swearing, fluff, oral sex (male receiving), smutty smut.

My Guardian Master List

You awoke to a loud crash coming from the kitchen. Cas. You lifted yourself up out of bed and slowly made your way to the small bunker kitchen. As you peered around the corner, you spotted a very busy Castiel. He stood over the stove, focused. Several pots and pans littered the floor, along with a few eggshells and a sea of coffee grinds.

“Um, Cas, what are you up to?” you ask, raising an eyebrow in suspicion.

Cas spun around, clad in a plain gray t-shirt you never knew he had and what looked like a pair of Dean’s old sweatpants. His hair was tousled atop his perfect head. He smiled sweetly. “You haven’t had a decent meal in the last few days. Dean left me instructions on how to make a few things, so I thought I would try it out. I don’t know how you humans manage this three times a day.” Cas’s nose scrunched as he furiously scrambled the eggs. Then, the toaster popped, making the angel jump. You laughed as you shuffled over to the coffee maker.

“D-Did you make coffee?” Your eyes widened. You were seriously impressed; especially since this was the same angel you wouldn’t trust with screwing in a light bulb.

“Yes.” Cas grinned proudly. “That was another thing Dean left instructions for. I hope I followed them correctly.”

“I’ll be the judge of that,” you chuckled as you poured some of the surprisingly normal-looking coffee into a mug. You took a sip, wincing a little as you waited for disappointment. “Mmmm,” you hummed. It tasted… normal.

Cas scraped the eggs onto a plate and added the two slices of toast from the toaster. Smiling, he handed you his culinary masterpiece. It looked just like what Dean made you and Sam sometimes.

“You need all the strength you can get. Dean and Sam will be back tomorrow and they want you to be ready,” Cas explained. Your heart jumped as you chomped down on a bite of toast.

Ready? “Wait, ready for what?” you grumbled as you chewed.

“To capture Crowley.” He tilted his head. “Did you think they were going to take down the man who did this to you without you?”

You scarfed down the last bit of eggs, trying to hide your excitement. You reached down for your mug, daydreaming about the thousands of way you wanted to torture the fucker. Not to mention how great you would feel about releasing all of those poor trapped souls he was using for who knows what.

“I thought they went down there to capture him. I didn’t know this was a scouting mission.” You smiled as you placed your dish into the sink. Then your grabbed your coffee mug and turned for the door. “I need to sit down. I’ve been standing for too long.”

Before you could take another step, Cas’s arm was around your waist, holding you up. He stood at your side, leading you to the entertainment room. “I’m glad to see you were able to get up and around on your own. You are gaining your strength back very quickly.” Cas sat you down onto a large brown lounge chair that Dean usually sat in. He pulled the lever on the side and the footrest popped out from behind your legs. He pushed the back of the chair farther backwards with his arm, so you were fully reclined. His legs straddled you,  his body hovering over yours. “It’s time for your next healing session,” he whispered into your ear. His voice alone sent shivers throughout your body. Your breath shuttered as his warmth consumed you. This time, there was no alcohol involved.

He moved his free hand over your stomach and a familiar blue light illuminated your torso. The pulling of your skin and the slight burn from the healing didn’t bother you this time. It made you feel alive.

Once the blue light vanished, Cas slipped his knees to either side of you so he was kneeling over you. His hand slid down your side to your hip, the other still pressed against the back of the chair. Your stomach fluttered like it was going to explode.

“You are so beautiful, Y/N.” Cas whispered, his nose grazed against yours, your eyes locked.

You let out a sharp breath. “Castiel,” you breathed. Your lips crashed as he pressed his body against yours. He nipped at your lower lip playfully, a low groan escaping his lips. The primal sound made you shiver under him. He glided his lips down your jaw to your neck, leaving light nips along the way. You whimpered as he sucked on the curve of your neck, leaving marks.

Suddenly, his phone began to vibrate in his pocket. Damn it Dean, horrible timing. Cas reached into his pocket and tossed his phone onto the small end table beside the chair. Then, he turned his attention back to you.

You slipped a hand up his shirt and ran your fingers along the tight muscles of his abdomen. Delicious. Cas ran his bottom lip lightly along your jaw back up to your lips. They met again roughly. His hand left your hip and explored the band of your sweatpants. He slipped his finger under the band, slowly running it from one side to the other.

His phone started to buzz again. Dean, seriously. You both ignored it, too immersed in each other.

“Y/N,” he panted as he came up for air. The two of you stared into each other’s eyes for what felt like forever.

He snaked both of his hands under your thighs, lifting you off the chair and into his arms. You wrapped both of your legs around his waist and threw your arms around his neck. The next moment you were against the wall. His lips met yours roughly as he ran a hand through your hair. He tugged lightly causing a moan to escape you. His lips pulled away. He raised an eyebrow and smirked. You could feel yourself blush. What could you say? Rough was always fun.

His rock hard erection pressed against your core. A warm tingle swirled in your stomach as your tongues danced. His hand slid up from your thigh and grabbed your ass, making you pant. He slowly moved his hips, rubbing his cock against your covered pussy. You both groaned loudly and you matched his rhythm.

Without warning his hand left your ass, leaving you to hold yourself up. He roughly pulled at your sweatpants, lowering them as he traced the curve your hips. His calloused finger glided down to your fold. He ran his finger back and forth as he realized how wet you were.

You whimpered as his finger traced circles around your swollen clit. He pulled his face from yours, his cobalt eyes fixed on your Y/C/E eyes. His gaze never faltered as he watched your pleasure filled expressions. Your eyes rolled back as the pressure in your core began to build.

“Oh, Cas. Just like that,” you mewled, letting out a small moan with each breath.

He quickened his pace with his thumb, inserting a finger into you. “Say my name again,” he growled.

Your eyes opened and locked to his. “Castiel,” you hummed. He let out a loud guttural moan that sent you over the edge. Your back arched as you rode the waves of your orgasm. His finger continued to swirl around your throbbing clit.

You smirked up at the angel as you ran your palm over his rock hard cock. He grunted, then pulled you off the wall and threw you onto the couch. He leaned over your still quivering body as he swiftly peeled your shirt off and tugged at your sweats. He yanked your pants and panties off in one movement, then slipped off his own shirt. You studied his rippling muscles as they swirled and swayed down his chest and arms.

Perfection.

You sat back up and quickly stopped his hands from undoing his pants. His hands lowered as you slowly brought the zipper down. Your other hand traced the rim of his boxers, which struggled to contain his throbbing cock. You slipped his pants and boxers down his muscular legs and let them fall to the floor.

“I want to taste you,” you growled up at him. Before he could react, you wrapped your lips around his manhood. You flicked your tongue over the tip where a small amount of pre-cum leaked out. His breaths became more erratic as you slid him farther into your mouth.

With a grunt, his hands grabbed your shoulders and shoved you back down onto the couch.

“I can’t take it. I need you now, Y/N. I need to be inside you.” He dipped down to you. The muscles of his broad chest skid over your breasts. He nipped at your jaw and neck as he slowly slid his swollen cock into your pussy, letting out a raspy groan. A loud moan erupted from you as he quickly began to thrust. “You’re so tight, so wet,” he stuttered into your ear.

“Oh, Castiel. Yes,” you hissed. His thrusts never slowed. You wrapped your legs around his waist and he slipped a hand under your ass.

His thrusts became more erratic along with his breathing. Then, he slowed a bit. You could feel every inch of him move inside your hot, wet center. You pressed yourself against him as hard as you could as you watched him with heavy eyelids.

“Castiel, come for me,” you commanded. Suddenly, this thrusts picked up again, more erratic than ever. He spilled into you, muttering your name between curses.

After spilling every drop he had into you, he pulled out and collapsed, spinning around and pulling you on top of him. You rested your head on his chest.

After a few minutes you spoke, “Where did that come from, angel?” You peered up at him.

“After seeing you injured and healing you, I realized how much I care for you Y/N. I guess the emotions built up over the last few days before… well… this.” He smiled, total contentment washing over his face. He wasn’t willing to admit that his feelings had been festering within him for much longer.

You said nothing, just smiled at the thought. You cared for him too. You knew he knew that. Sure, neither of you had much one-on-one interaction before you were injured, which you now regretted. But, there you were. Naked in each other’s arms.

Only one question remained. How the hell were you going to tell the boys? They were in for quite a shock.

After you two cleaned up, Cas reached for his phone to call Dean. He pressed speaker.

“Hello, Dean. You are on the speaker phone. Y/N is here with me.” Cas greeted the hunter. You rolled your eyes at his wording.

“You too. Cas, what the hell man? Why didn’t you pick up?” Dean reprimanded.

Cas paused and glanced over you. His cheeks flushed pink. You chuckled softly. “We were… preoccupied.” Smooth Cas. Very smooth.

“Great. How is the healing going? Is our girl going to be ready to roll tomorrow?” Dean had a hint of concern in his voice.

“Everything is going well, Dean. She is healing quickly. She is even doing some mild exercise.” You snapped your gaze to the angel, shocked. Now that was smooth. You couldn’t help but laugh inside. That must have been the first time you heard Cas tell a joke. Ever.

“Yeah, I feel pretty great, Dean,” you spoke into the phone, realizing that you hadn’t spoken to him since before you were injured.

There was a moment of silence before Dean said, “Y/N, it’s really great to hear your voice. I’m glad Cas is able to heal you and you two haven’t killed each other yet.”

“Yeah, I was sure you would be at each other’s throats.” Sam interjected. You chuckled again. You could say that.

“Okay you two, behave. We will be back tomorrow afternoon. We will make a game plan then.” Dean, the always fearless leader, instructed.

“Yes sir,” you chuckled. “See you tomorrow.” Click.

You turned to Cas, still stunned by his joke. You nudged his shoulder. “Preoccupied, huh?” you poked.

“Well, I was telling the truth,” Cas defended, chuckling. His laugh made your whole body warm.

“Yeah, that you were.” You smiled up at the angel and kissed his cheek.

**This was my first time writing a (published) love scene, very nerve wracking! Practice makes perfect. Thanks for all the love!**