#Carter: I'm gonna take the thing

[manderleyfire]

BOYD CROWDER & AVA CROWDER in 'JUSTIFIED' (SEASON 2)

I lied for you taking that mining money. This is different, Ava. I guess me taking you in and building you up was a mistake. Just set you back to square one. That's not true. You took me in, and you healed me, Ava. You give me a reason to wake up in the morning. For that, I'll be eternally grateful.

[whore-ibly-hot]

"Special Delivery."

Yan!Boarding school stoner (Tyler) x Fem reader

18+ Minors DNI

Warnings: P in V sex, yandere behavior, Dub-con, drugging, mentions of weed, class economic divide? Spying, obsession, stalking, general yanderes, mention of drugs, taking advantage.

"Come on, it'll be funny!" Tyler whines through the door, and all you can do is sigh. The schools premiere culinary student and local pothead is standing in the hallway just outside your dorm, boxed up thing of greasy breadsticks, chicken parm, and an oven fired pizza in hand. Hand brushing back his hair, he knocks his forehead lightly against the door. "Cmonnnnnnnn, if you don't let me in now, Carters gonna chase me off n' we won't be able to hang out at all, even without this-"

He's taken aback as the door swings open, revealing you in your late night garb, prepped for movie night. He's thrilled to see you, and immediately enters the spiel he had prepared. Dropping the pizza box a little lower over his crotch playfully, he raises his voice a bit so you have to let him in your room. "Hey, pizza delivery," he coos, "got an order for DORM 113!" He yells over his shoulder, prompting you to drag him in with an embarrassed groan. "Somebody called in for an extra large sausage?"

"Gross, keep it down!" You scold, letting him in as you shake your head. "What is wrong with you?" He shuffles in and sets down the food.

"What? Am I not good enough, you specifically asked for the Italian place to send their sexiest delivery guy."

"Oh, was he off tonight?" You ask, and Tyler slaps his hand over his chest in mock offense. Flopping onto your bed, feeling the worn, school-provided material squeak and rustle below your weight. You roll over to face him. "Well, despite you being fuckin gross, I'm sure the food is good. What did you bring?"

"Got some Chicken Parm, some soggy-ass buttery breadsticks, and my Tyler special." He proudly holds up the box.

"A new special? Seems like everytime we talk you've got a new signature special dish."

"Nah, this one is definetly the best my-my genius science man brain has come up with, dude!" He assures, flipping open the box. The smell of warm baked cheese and pizza wafts to your nose.

Smiling, you both take some bites of the pizza, topped with all sorts of odd things. It's nice, admittedly, it does taste good. "Thanks for coming over, Tyler. This food does all look amazing."

"Course, man. Anything for my favorite newbie." He assures. The pair of you tuck in to the food, gorging yourself on the delicious food.

"Where's Pez?" You ask curiously as you lean back on your bed, having chucked a paper plate away and cleaned up a bit. You don't want any clutter on Harrisons side of the dorm.

"Where do you think, man?" Tyler groans, scooting back. "He's got detention again. He wanted to smoke a fat one before class but I was like 'Nah, let's just take one of my bomb-ass pot brownies, cause I knew he'd get caught cause this grass he's been using lately has a crazy sce-"

"Tyler." You giggle, looking at him and he shrugs, putting his hands up.

"My bad, sorry, back on track. Anyways, like I said, he totally got caught, and now he doesn't get to chow down. Shoulda listened to me, man." He brags. After a moment, he sits back up and glances away. "So, listen, we've eaten and stuff, what do you wanna do now?" He asks, though you can see him tilting a head back to his bag. "Dessert?" He suggests.

"You didn't-" You say, as he gets a small baggie from his backpack and gives it to him. "I told you, Pez wanted to have that blunt, so I had some extra edibles, you know?" He explains. "Okay, I promise I put some good shit in here, some new strain I bought. Were gonna get kinda sleepy, but to be fair it could just be the pasta." You take one and do a silly little cheers motion before taking a bright of the dense, moist brownie.

"Its great." And it is. For a bit. After the brownie settles in your stomach, a new feeling begins settling in there too. Something warm, tingling. "Mhmm, uh, Tyler? Are you feeling okay?" Glancing at him, his tan skin is flushed, eyelids a little droopy.

"I dunno, man. I feel kinda funky, and not like, in a bad way?" He's laying down on your bed, chest fast against your pillows.

"Maybe something was off with that weed?" You ask, shaking your head and woozy standing. The room spins a bit, and the pleasurable throb in your waist continues. "Let's go to the nurse. We can lie and say we just ate something bad."

Tyler doesn't get up to follow you. "N-nah, I'm sure it's just the food settling, probably. Let's stay here." He whines.

"No, cmon, Tyler. We could get really sick-" You tug on his limp arm to get him to sit up, only to figure out why he was so hesitant. "Oh!" You immediately drop him.

"Told you. Don't think it's 'bad weed' doing this. Sorry." He admits, looking down.

"So we're like, on those gas station sex pills or something? You said this was supposed to be a relaxing strain!" You exclaim. "That it'd help us sleep!"

"I thought it would! You know, keep up all warm and fuzzy till we drifted off... the label said 'bed fever'." He trails off, and you immediately freeze.

"Tyler, that's not-"

"Aw, shit!" He smacks his forehead and drops his face into his hands. He's clearly embarrassed and still sporting an erection which he tries to hide as best he can in his loose shorts. "I wasn't even thinking, that isn't what that means at all, is it?" You shake your head. "Feel like such a perv. I'm sorry man, I ruined this. Uh, maybe there's a way online to reverse it."

You shake your head and sit next to him. "No, it's okay. I know you didn't mean to, and to be fair you were probably high when you bought this." He nods, brown eyes sad and wide as he looks at the floor. You gently brush his long black hair behind his ear, rubbing his arm. "Its okay, it really is. We... I know harrisons out for a game, we can hunker down in here 5ill it passes."

"I know what to do." Tyler perks up, smacking his knee as he does it with courage. He seems determined. "Let me make it up to you."

"What?" You exclaim. It's your turn to flush, cheeks reddening as you swallow. "I don't know what you mean-"

"Its not gonna go away, you said so yourself. And if Harrison isn't coming back, you shouldn't have to suffer cause I accidentally laced your shit." He grabs your hand and squeezes it with his soft but callous ones. Another goes to your head. "See, you're burning up just like me, man-"

"I'm really fine." You lie. If the weed wasn't having an effect, his desperate and caring words paired with his big hands on you certainly was.

"Nah. I know it's having an effect, I'm hard as a rock right now, never seen my dick this mad. I know you've gotta be jonesing for some friction right now, babe." He puts a hand just over your inner thigh, but doesn't go further. "We don't have to, but if you'd let me I'd focusing on making it good for you. Making it up to you for my mistake; no reason you should have to be sitting there with a wet fucking kitty between those legs aching for something good cause of my mistake and me not giving it to-"

"Okay!" You yell. "Okay, just stop talking like that, we can have sex. Just keep it down." You've never heard him speak that bluntly about sex, he's more of an innuendo guy, but the weed clearly is having an effect. Still, it's sweet he seems so worried about your pleasure right now.

"You won't regret it. I'm gonna make this good for both of us, I promise. Gonna out-" He pauses and laughs as he slips of his shorts, making you raise a brow. "Gonna put this extra large sausage to good use."

You scoff and smack his chest. "I'll just touch myself if you're gonna be corny while we do this." You warn as you undress, dropping panties down of your legs and kicking them across the room.

"I'm not against seeing that either, but this is about me making it up to you." He reminds you. You both don't even bother with your stops, your pussy is throbbing in a way that makes your legs shake, and Tyler's still attentive even in his state of arousal. "Lay down man, no reason to be sitting. Gonna wear out those pretty thighs before we even get down to it." He adjusts some pillows behind you so they can properly cradle you to look at him without straining you. He wraps your legs up around his waist, the very ends of his hair tickling your feet. His touch is firm, but he's clearly taking in the scene in a calculated way. You've only seen him focus this hard on his passion for cooking, though you suppose this moment has plenty of 'passion' too.

"How do you wanna play this?" He asks, and you tilt your head, confused and resisting just humping away at his front for any kind of stimulation. "I mean, I know I'm aching to get my dick in you, but this is about you. You want it slow, o-or fast, or I can even just eat you out, I hadn't thought about you not wanting me in-" He's rambling now, his focus melting to anxiety. You press a single finger to his lips, and it seems to calm himself a bit. He sighs and looks down sheepishly. "Sorry."

"I want you in. Not too fast, but set a good pace. I'll let you know what feels good. I'm not used to what I like when I'm on weird horny-weed."

He laughs, one hand adjusting his meaty tip against your folds. Just the feeling makes you twitch, and as much as you would usually like taking your time with something as... impressive as his cock, you're both enduring the full brunt of the aphrodisiac now. You let out a slight hiss at the sudden stretch as he pushes in, but the drug has ensured your well lubricated.

"Shit..." He groans, sinking further to sheathe himself in your heat. "God, you feel so wet, so fucking wet. Holy shit- i-is this okay?" Through his own pleasure, he's resisting the urge to just start pounding away to make sure he's not going to deep to quick.

"No, s' good." You confirm, let the feeling of his hot member getting settled in you wash over you. "You can move, maybe just... angle a bit? Up?" You grumble.

He nods, adjusting his angle as he begins to roll his hips in and out of your limp form. You moan, feeling his weeping tip almost immediately brush an electric spot deep within you. "Fuck, god, yeah, there. Mm, right up there. You're really good at this."

He smiles, sweetly burying his head against your neck as he instinctively kisses a tender spot. His hands steady your hips as he thrusts away. "I'm good at following instructions, man." He groans. "S' why I'm such a good cook."

You snort, he can't seem to stop cracking jokes, even when he's balls deep in you. It's not long before the knot in your stomach grows tighter.

"Tyler, baby-" You feel his length twitch at the pet name. "Think it's happening, think I'm about to finish-" he nods his head rapidly along to each of your words.

"Lemme cum too, yeah? Not inside, but lemme cum with you, please, please man-" He's begging. "You're just fucking gripping down on my shit, and I-"

"Its okay, I'm on the pill." The idea of finishing inside is what sends him over the edge. His hips pick up the pace, cock eagerly seeking out the spongy spot inside you that makes you cry out as he spurts one, then two hot streams of cum.

"Fuck, fuck yeah, right there-" You're ability to keep quiet for fear of nearby dorm students hearing you disappears as the knot inside you zaps away into a red-hot pulsing in your womb. Groaning, you both ride out the high till he collapses just over you, continuing to nibble and kiss at your neck as a string of curses and praises leaves his loose lips.

After a moment, when the weed and the sex high seem to have worn off, he grabs some napkins that came with the food, rather unceremoniously dabbing you clean before chucking them. "Water for the lady," he hands you a cup, and you smile weakly from where you've wallowed in your sheets.

He grabs his boxers and slides them back on before finishing the food clean up you had begun. "No, Tyler, let me help with that." You try to stand, but he just gently pushes you back down. "Nah. I brought it, I'll clean up. Besides, I'm sure you've never had a guy rail your guts like that before, and you need to rest." He puts his hands up with a cheeky grin. "I appreciate the compliment. Huffing, you just roll over.

"Just..." You pause. He turns from where he was at your door, trash bag in hand and tilts his head. "Just come lay down when you're done." Another smile adorns his face. "Of course, man." He smiles.

In the hallway, there's a small 'ping' from his phone that gets his attention. A contact with a rather childish photo of Pez holding up a middle finger pops up. He looks at the message.

"How'd it go?" The message reads. Tyler types back.

"Fine. We had a good time, she's real fucking sweet. A total babe, keeps a cute room."

Another 'ping'. "You know what I meant. The weed, I told you it was intense, I tried it once." The text reads. "Thought my dick would fall off. You didn't use too much, right?" Pez asks.

"Course not." Tyler responds, typing with one hand as he chucks a trash bag into the chute. "I'm good at following instructions."

[katrotica]

It's unclear if Gabbie Carter has retired post-baby, or if she simply decided to use the natural break to pivot. I have a feeling she has retired from traditional porn but is still gonna be at it on OF and things like that, which I'm all for. I suspect that when you're busy taking care of an infant it's a lot easier to be able to just put the baby monitor on and go into the other room and shoot some quick little vids, than to go on set to likely creepy porn studios where you'd never ever ever bring your baby. In any case there are so many pics of Gabbie out there that even if she basically retires, I'm gonna have plenty to continue to make posters of her bc I really like her and think she's hot and cute and sexy.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Someone New 4

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include angst, pining, romcom tropes, and some darker elements later in the series. Some triggers may not be specifically tagged. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This fic will contain explicit content. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You’ve had a crush on your best friend for years, but you’re slapped in the face with reality when he takes things to the next level with his girlfriend.

Characters: Steve Rogers, Thor

Note: I got like insanely sick suddenly and I still feel off.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

“Sam, that paradise punch was a bad idea,” you groan as you struggle to get your bag out of the trunk of the taxi. 

“Whatever,” Sam slurs as he comes around, “I tipped the driver extra. Bud, you think you can get this out for the lady?” 

The driver is all to helpful as he comes around you take the handle from you and swiftly plants the bag on its wheels. It’s everything you have that isn’t bundled up into storage or sacrificed to the dumpster. You thank the man and swallow a belch. 

“Have a safe trip, miss,” the driver nods and turns to slap Sam’s arm, “and you, sir.” 

Sam salutes the man and pushes away from the cab, your carry-on slung from his shoulder. The two of you clumsily lift the bag over the curb. You look up at the airport as the roar of jet engines cuts through the dusky air. 

“I feel like I’m drunker,” Sam snickers. 

“Uh huh, me too,” you murmur. Two hours on his couch was barely enough. If anything, it’s just set your vision askew. “They’re not gonna let me board if – hiccup—I'm blasted.” 

“Don’t worry, we can get water,” he blathers and yanks your bag onto its wheels, “off to the land of vikings! Skol!” 

“Skol?” You follow him in a clamour. 

“It’s what they say, isn’t it?” He chuckles, “I saw it on a show or whatever.” 

“I... yeah, usually while they drink, not stumbling drunk,” you rebuff. 

“Sound pretty sober to me with all that whining,” he rebukes. 

“Whatever,” you roll your eyes and follow him through the automatic doors. 

He veers off and you follow him in confusion, glancing back at the check-in counter. He stops before a bright vending machine and feels around in his pocket. He taps his card and focuses intently on pressing the button. 

“Waterrrrr,” he drones and leans on the machine to reach through the slot. 

He hands it over and you unscrew the cap. You chug half the bottle and let out an obnoxious belch. You cover your mouth in embarrassment and offer him the rest. He finishes it off and you linger by the machine as you let the cool flow settle in. 

“Feel any better?” He asks. 

“A little. I’ll have a coffee on the plane.” 

“Nah, you should sleep.” 

“Maybe,” you take out your phone and tap the side button. Nothing. 

“Anything from Mr. Carter?” Sam asks. 

“No,” you black the screen and shrug. “Come on, I gotta check my bag.” 

“You should check that boy,” he blathers as he stands straight and once more yanks the bag after you, “tell him what’s what.” 

“Sam, he’s busy--” 

“He’s your best friend! At least, he likes to say so then do nothing.” 

“Quit,” you beg him, “this is hard enough.” 

“This is what you need--” 

“I know!” You throw your hands up and face him as you come up before the counter. “I know. Okay. I’m stupid and---” you shake your head and let the truth sink back into the depths of your soul. You face the clerk and sigh, “I’m sorry, I’m here to check my bag.” 

You pull out your wallet and slide your passport across the counter. You show your boarding pass and pay for the extra weight. Your bid a safe journey and carry on with only the smaller bag still on Sam’s shoulder. 

Wordlessly, you sit in a row of seats. You look up at the clock. You’ll have to go to the boarding area sooner than later. He won’t be able to come with you. 

“Sam, I’m sorry. I just... is it that obvious?” You croak. 

He puts his hand on your back and rubs it gently. It’s soothing. The tension trickles down your sides and seeps out. It feels good to admit it aloud yet mortifying just the same. 

“No, I just sense these things. I know Steve, I know you, and I know he doesn’t deserve you. Even as just friends.” 

“Ugh,” you put your head in your hands, “I am so stupid.” 

“No, you’re not. You’re human. It stinks. Our brains, our hearts, they aren’t logical, as much as we like to pretend,” he huffs, “trust me. We’ve all been there and if we haven’t, we’ll get our turn.” 

“Yeah, I guess,” you sit up as your eyes glisten, “I just... he said he’d be here. I thought I’d at least get that--” 

Your name echoes through the airy space and you wince. Right on cue, just before you can collapse completely. You turn as Steve rushes toward you. He wears jeans and grey sweatshirt. He remembered! 

You stand as Sam sighs. You smile, only halfway before you see the figure trailing behind him. Peggy looks less than excited to be there. Her sleepy lashes flutter as her wave hair is pinned back in a messy chignon, still elegant despite the carelessness. She wears a dark green trench over a silver satin nightie. She must’ve rushed out with him. 

“Hey,” Steve nears, “sorry I couldn’t make it for drinks, but I couldn’t miss take-off.” 

“Mmm, they don’t have any afternoon flights,” Peggy mutters. 

“They do but landing doesn’t line up with the train,” you shrug and glance at her briefly. Her glare darts back at you. You wonder if that work dinner was so impromptu after all. 

“Are you excited?” Steve drops into the seat next to you. 

“Uh, yeah, nervous,” you smile as the weight lightens from your chest. He came. Maybe Sam is wrong. Maybe friends isn’t that bad. 

“It’s going to be great. You have to send me updates, oh, and I’ll be sure to send you all the wedding news!” He grins, “I still can’t believe you’re going to be so far away.” 

“It’s a good opportunity,” Peggy intones as she sits on his other side, resting her hand on his forearm, “in her line of work, I’m sure they don’t come often.” 

You press your lips tight and look down, “yeah, not really.” 

“She can get out. Make new friends. Some girl friends, maybe,” Peggy remarks. 

“I’m sure she’ll make all the friends,” Sam interjects, “I hear there isn’t much sunlight over there, she’ll be a breath of fresh air for those grumpy vikings.” 

“Mm, yes,” Peggy grumbles as she trails her hand down to Steve’s. “Too bad you won’t make the engagement party.” 

“Or the wedding,” Steve adds. 

“Well, we’ve a full wedding party as it is,” she shrugs. “There’ll be lots of pictures.” 

“Right, yeah, I’m sorry to miss it all,” you frown. “I...” you sit back and nearly choke, “I’m gonna hit the bathroom.” 

You stand as Sam puffs out heavily and to your surprise, Peggy swiftly gets to her feet, suddenly very awake. Your soberness is setting in along with a pulsing headache. You really don’t want to deal with her. If you knew he’d bring her, you’d have told Steve to stay home. 

“I’ll come with you. I’m splitting at the seams,” she trills. 

“Alright,” you agree with a tint of uncertainty. 

She twirls and you walk parallel to her towards the bathroom signs. You chalk it up to the feminine habit. It isn’t unusual to visit the toilets in pairs, even without much kinship between you. It does however spoil your attempt at respite. You less so want to empty your bladder than clear your mind. 

You don’t say a word as you enter the bathroom. You go into a stall and she does the same. Your mind clogs your biology and you have to sit and focus before you can get a flow going. By the time you’re trickling into the bowl, she’s done. A toilet flushes and you hear her unlatch the door and approach the sinks. 

She’s in heels, even at this hour. The sink sprays out water and you listen to her hum as she washes her hands. You finish up and flush, coming out meekly to use the sink next to her. You focus on the simple task as she watches you in the mirror. 

Sensing her gaze, you look up and pull your hands out from under the censor-activated faucet. You meet her eyes and nearly wince at the steely intensity. You stand straight and move past her to retrieve some paper towel. 

“This is a wise decision,” she says, “well-needed.” 

You look at her again as you dry your hands, “thanks.” 

“Oh, I’m not congratulating you. About time you got some sense,” she sneers. 

You wince and crumple up the towel. You drop it in the bin and cross your arms, “okay, well...” 

“It’s better you’re not here for any of it. He doesn’t need the distraction.” 

You chew the inside of your lip as venom drips from her voice. You’re still slightly tipsy and too tired to process this. You have no response. 

“The distance will help you get over it. Finally,” she snips, “you know, I thought it was almost endearing at first then it just became pathetic.” 

You swallow. You’re humiliated that even she could see right through you. You can hardly blame her for her spite. After all, she’s his fiancée, not you. 

“He thinks it’s silly. He laughs.” 

You flinch then. Hard. Your chest rents and your stomach boils. 

“He knows. It’s obvious. I mean, it’s convenient, isn’t it? You’ll do anything for him and really it was rather helpful. Took a lot off my plate and his but it’s time for all of us to grow up. I will be his wife and he doesn’t need some girl to measure out his laundry detergent or remind him to eat.” 

You blink and look away. You cross your arms and push your shoulders up, “got it.” 

“So why don’t you go ahead and just put him on mute now?” 

“Peggy,” you whisper. 

“We’re getting married. You know you can’t stop it, that’s why you’re running away. So end it.” 

“You don’t have to be cruel,” you mutter. 

“I could be horrid. I could have been for all these years. I believe I’ve had remarkable restraint with you,” she points a manicured nail at you, “you should be thanking me for having the grace to do this in private.” 

Your lip trembles and your cheeks tug painfully. You nod and turn away, “don’t worry, Peg, you won’t hear from me. He won’t either.” You make your way to the door, “I wish you both the best.” 

“Mm, I pray you find some clarity and perhaps some maturity along the way,” she retorts as she follows you, heels clicking loudly across the tile, “perhaps you might find someone too. Someone you deserve.” 

Her last words sting. The derision is pungent enough to make your nose crinkle. Someone you deserve... because you could never ever be good enough for Steve Rogers. 

💟

You don’t look back as you go through the gate. You can’t. It’s too painful. The tears have receded but the pain is only deeper. Peggy’s words reverberate in your head, nipping at your ears as your nape burns hotter and hotter. 

She’s right. Sam too. This is overdue. It’s exactly what you need to do. You know it. It’s the reason you chose this. That moment when you were faced with being the eternal wobbly third wheel, you made up your mind. It’s over. That part of your life is behind you, but you don’t know that you’ll ever stop feeling this way. 

It’s hard to settle in your seat, even knowing you have ten hours of flying ahead of you. Disembarking alone will be another hour at least, then finding the train station, another few hours... It’s a lot of time to think and you just can’t stop. 

You don’t take the book out of your bag or touch the screen in front of you. Instead, you sit, slumped down in your seat, eyes drifting back and forth, as you wallow in your self-pity. You stay like that through the flight. You decline the mid-flight meal and the snack cart. You don’t even get up to use the bathroom. 

You close your eyes and float away into memory. You can feel the scene around you. You can smell the stale air freshener forgotten on the shelf above the desk and hear the muffled thrum of music through the walls. You sit on the bed, your textbook open in your lap and your laptop open by your leg. Steve’s on the other end, phone in hand, texting as his golden hair flops forward over his head. 

He’s younger. That rosiness still kisses his cheeks as subtle freckles speckle his pale skin. Yet he’s just a well-built as ever. Broad shoulders, chiseled jaw, long legs. He’s the very picture that should appear next to ‘hunk’ in the dictionary. Every girl’s dream. Your dream. 

“Huh,” he chuckles and drops his phone, “this girl in my history class wants to meet up.” 

Your heart plucks and you force a smile, “a girl? Meet up?” 

“Oh, yeah, she lets me copy off her pop quiz every lecture. Guess I kinda owe her.” 

“Wow,” you utter, the only noise you can eke out. Owes her? Funny, you did his laundry last week and helped him print out his term paper... what do you get? 

“Yeah, so uh, do you think you could send me a copy of your notes?” He pushes himself to the edge of the bed. “I probably won’t be back tonight.” 

“Right,” you nod and hide your embarrassment at the insinuation. 

“You can crash here if you wanna. Long way across campus at night,” he shrugs casually as he grabs his varsity jacket. 

“No, I’ll... I’ll just go now,” you get off the bed and close up your books. 

“Probably a good idea. Just in case she wants to come back here,” he chuckles, “see ya in poli sci?” 

“Sure,” you keep your chin down. “See ya.” 

Your eyelids lift as you come out of the dazed memory.  

New York is gone. Steve is gone. You’re all alone. You’ve left it all behind but that home was never a home. It was all a farce you built on a childish hope. You’re done lying to yourself. It was never going to be. You didn’t miss any chance at all. You just wasted your own time. 

You just languish there in the airplane seat. It’s still hard to believe it’s all real. It isn’t until the wheels bounce and hit the tarmac that it fully sinks in. 

You’re not doing that again. You’re better off alone. You have to be, right? You don’t really know. You don’t even know yourself. You just know the girl who only wanted to be what he needed. 

But what do you need? What do you want? Can you figure it out? Is there anything in this land for you that you couldn’t find in New York? 

At least you’ll have lots of time to figure that out. Intimate hours with yourself to dwell and cringe and regret. Time to think, time to move on, time to cut him out. 

As you join the line to have your Visa stamped, you pull out your phone and turn off airplane mode. You swipe through to Steve’s last message. It was weeks ago. That makes it easier to hit that button; ‘mute’. It’s a start. Maybe in a few weeks, you’ll be ready to hit ‘block’. 

[olderthannetfic]

Ayyy, there seems to be a lot of older people among the regular commenters of this blog so I'm gonna shoot my shot and ask for advice.

Idk if it's just the clinical depression but I can't help but feel like I'm never gonna find love as a straight girl. I don't hate men at all -- I've been very lucky to be surrounded by decent dudes growing up but shit. Lookin at the state of the world rn... Gen Z dudes chugging misogynist bullshit at alarming rates, women like Gisele Pelicot going through unspeakable shit from their own husbands... it's hard not to feel cynical. On top of that the decent dudes I know irl are all taken, I don't wanna go on dating apps, and as much as I wanna fuck an older man no decent one is gonna settle for a depressed young woman who's a 4 at best...

It's not that i don't have fulfilling friendships or that I don't value them, I just want to love and care for (and get dicked down by) a decent guy who feels the same way. I've always wanted that and I don't think it's changing anytime soon. Feels impossible though. I'm not sure if I'm the problem (I'm plain faced at best, no fashion sense or charm to speak of, though I do my best to be polite and kind) or there's just shit going on I've no control over.

--

People will give you a lot of placating nonsense, but the reality is that the supply of reasonably okay straight women is much higher than the supply of reasonably okay straight men. Finding a fulfilling long-term relationship is always hard anyway, but man... straight guys really need to step it up.

That said, a lot of people in general and straight guys in particular learn a lot from the breakdown of their first marriage/long-term relationship. Just because a guy is listening to godawful manosphere podcasts today doesn't mean he's never going to be dateable later.

Research on dating apps suggests that your average guy responds to pics where women have a lot of makeup on by looking for a hookup, passes by the ones with no makeup, and finds the ones with a little lipstick or something but not heavy makeup the most dateable.

While it would be nice if appearance didn't matter, if you're really worried about this, there are some basic things you can do where you'll get a lot of bang for your buck: Find one lipstick you can stand and learn to apply it. I like Bésame Cosmetics because I am a nerd and they sponsored a local film noir festival. Peggy Carter's lipstick was from them. They have the advantage of being intensely pigmented, so a quick swipe gives full coverage. I hate having shit on my face in general, so that's helpful. If eye stuff is less bleurgghhhh than lip stuff, learn to apply eyeliner instead. There are some liquid ones I really like even if it takes some practice to get decent at painting them on. You don't need a full face of makeup or really much of anything to read as Hot Girl™ to people who don't know anything about makeup and aren't paying much attention. Yes, even if you're a 4 and it's not just the depression talking.

Charm is hard. Some things can be taught, but a lot of that's innate. Fashion, however, is not. You don't need to be a fashionista to look better than a lot of the people around you. Save your money for fewer, better outfits. Buy things that fit well and get things tailored. Don't settle for ill-fitting clothes that don't make you feel good. Look for natural fibers and clothing that will last a long time. (And if you think you have sensitive skin that cannot handle natural fibers, you need to go up several price points on your cotton. Just saying.)

You can also increase your chances by doing activities where you meet more people who might be a good match. This means finding hobbies that actually have straight guys in them and going to in-person things where you meet new people. (This sounds obvious and pedantic, but I cannot tell you how many women I know who want a boyfriend but only do social things that are 95% women and 5% gay men.)

But the biggest thing you can do to stand out is... well... work on that depression. Self confidence and obviously being in a good place in your life are very attractive. Also, the good catches who haven't been snapped up tend to be the quiet, shy people. If you have your own shit together enough to detect and pursue them, you have a better chance of finding someone great.

I get that ~fix your depression~ is not helpful advice, but working on yourself in both important and relatively superficial ways is something you can control. Meeting the right person is not.

It might help to look at this as a 5-10-year goal and/or a lifetime goal, not a "Oh my god, my life sucks this year" problem. Yes, there's shit going on that you have no control over, but if that's your career and mental health and so on, you can work on that and be in a different place in a few years.

Frankly, I think a certain amount of cynicism is warranted, but that doesn't mean there are no decent guys or that you'll never find one.

[nonotnolan]

Group Project

"I don't care if most people skip this step," Aiden said, taking a pre-swap photo with Nathan. "I still don't completely trust Swapper technology, just... I don't have many other options. Professor Carmichael has been riding our asses all semester, and this damn group project is worth 50% of my grade. I, uhh... I appreciate you doing this for me."

"You're the one paying me," Nathan said, grinning into the mirror with two thumbs up. "As long as you follow the basic rules, I don't really care what sort of extra safeguards you want to throw in. And don't worry, I think it's cute. Commencing swap... now."

Aiden barely had time to panic before he found himself staring up into his former face. The biggest shock was feeling Nathan's coiffed hair brushing against his forehead. The nerd came well recommended by Frat Row-- at this point, he probably spent more time outside of his body than inside of it. Certainly it hadn't been Nathan spending time at the gym to earn these arms. He had graduated college last year, but instead of getting a full time job, he hired out his services to anyone who needed to pass tests or make presentations. At $500 per swap, the legality was the only barrier to making it into a career. "So, you remember the rules, right?" said Aiden's body.

Hearing his voice like that was incredibly odd. "Yeah, we've got to stay swapped for 48 hours or else the Campus safety test will know we used our Swappers. You aren't liable if you get caught, I already paid you up front, no refunds. We had to jailbreak our Swappers to override the 12 hour standard limit, so I'll get arrested if I try to contact customer service. Anything else I'm missing?"

"No hard drugs, but any amount of sex and alcohol is fair game," Nathan said, as he reached into Aiden's waistband to fondle his new package. "Nice dick, my guy," he said, giving him another thumbs up. "That's gotta be, what... at least seven inches?"

Aiden blushed, deeply embarrassed to see his body acting so corny. "A bit under seven and a half, yeah," he said. "Aa-anyway, I'll be at the house if you need me."

"Have fun," Nathan said, giving him an exaggerated wink and slapping him on the shoulders. "I've swapped with several of your brothers. I know you're gonna have a good time."

Preston was outside, taking advantage of one of the last warm afternoons before fall turned into winter. "Damn, bro, you hired Nathan? Looks like someone was worried about failing their classes. So, who are you?"

"It's Aiden," I said, feeling very self conscious about my newer, frailer body as I found myself staring at Preston's hairy chest.

He just laughed. "Wait, Aiden? I didn't even know you had a Swapper! Damn, dude, you must be desperate to pass."

"I... yeah," I said, avoiding eye contact. Was Nathan a gay man? That was fine if he was, just... did that sort of thing stick to the body? He'd never really noticed the cleft of Preston's chin before, but he was-- Nathan's body was-- incredibly horny.

"A word of advice, Newbie," he said, sitting down his book. "Most of the Swapper nerds, or at least the ones worth hiring? They're gay men. Don't try to fight it. Just enjoy the ride. You'll be back to your no-homo self in 48 hours." He flexed his chest, letting his pecs bounce. "Or maybe you'll be a bit more worldly," he said, laughing as Aiden tried not to sneak a glance. "Getting a compliment from a gay dude feels real good."

Aiden practically sprinted toward the main doors, eager to escape the awkward situation. "Yeah I'll keep that in mind thanks bye," he muttered, cursing Nathan's gym shorts and their inability to hide an erection.

"Well, damn bro, look who it is! Someone hired Nathan!"

Sitting over in the lobby were two other guys who were using their Swappers for the weekend. The guy in black was probably Carter-- the dude had a lot of Puma gear, and it was possible he'd changed shirts at some point. Besides, it was hard to imagine anyone else scowling that hard. The blonde guy, however... that could be anyone.

"Uhh, hey... guys..." Aiden said, quickly learning that Nathan had a foot fetish. "You, uhhh... you also have a group project tomorrow or something?"

The blonde guy just laughed, closing his laptop as he stood up. "Oh, I've got a group project in mind, alright. I was just telling Carter here, even though both of us look like twinks, neither one of us are really bottoms. But with Nathan's body here, well... I think that solves our problem. Don't you?"

He nodded, following wordlessly after the two men as they entered the nearby library room for more privacy. Just enjoy the ride, Preston had said. Aiden suspected he was going to be doing a lot of riding tonight.

[maximoffcarter]

Is it over?

Pairings: Emily Prentiss x reader.

Summary: Set on 6x18: Lauren. If the team noticed Emily acting weird, they didn’t say anything about it. For the last two weeks, Emily had been acting strange, kind of off which was weird about Emily. Reader was the lucky person who could say that she knew Emily more than anyone else in the team, but this time...she was not sure about it anymore.

A/n: So...just like when I asked when I posted my first Calex fic; is my blog gonna turn into Marvel, SVU and Criminal Minds? Maybe so🫢 I'm obsessed with criminal minds right now (yes, a bit late, I've seen some of it before but I've always been an svu girly) and I am deeply in love with Emily (not new that I found Paget Brewster gorgeous😮‍💨). Anywayyyy, first Emily fic✨ Yes…I’ll be taking requests🫢 I dunno if some things are accurate or not so bear with me but hope you enjoy this, leave comments, hearts, whatever you like and reblog so this gets some love🫶🏻

Part 2.

*not my gif*

If the team noticed Emily acting weird, they didn’t say anything about it. For the last two weeks, Emily had been acting strange, kind of off which was weird about Emily. Every once in a while, she’d crack a joke or even make fun of Morgan or Reid or anyone on the team, but nothing had been done. The cases they’ve had had been a bit of a pain, which could possibly be the reason why Emily had been acting so weird. Garcia was the first one to really say something to Emily, she had been teasing and trying to get information in case she had a secret boyfriend for the times she had been late to work, but Emily had stopped her from keep going and they just forgot about it for that moment. Reid then had asked her if she was okay and Emily had said that she was, even if she had started picking on her nails again and it was something that Reid had noticed she did when she was stressed, but again, Emily brushed it off.

The only person who could truly see Emily off work was Agent Y/n Carter, the one person that was the closest to Emily, who had always been there with Emily and for Emily, the one person that could really say that she knew more about Emily than anyone in the BAU. What they didn’t know is that y/n was not only the closest person to Emily in a friendly way, but they had been dating for the last year. No, it’s not that they didn’t trust the team, they loved them, they would do anything for them, but if they said anything about their relationship, which meant that there was a chance that they could be used against each other in case they got threatened or were hostages -which of course they hoped it never happened-. But they still wanted to keep the secret to themselves for as long as possible, and either way, they were able to enjoy it and have a relationship for them and only them.

“Hey, P! Leaving now, you need a ride?” Y/n walked to Penelope’s room and offered a smile.

“Ah, no sweet cheeks. Car is fixed, I’m driving myself now.” Penelope smiled as she grabbed her things.

Y/n nodded. “See you tomorrow then.” She was about to leave before she was stopped by Penelope’s voice.

“Hey honey?” Penelope asked softly.

Y/n turned to look at her and smiled. “Yeah?”

“Have you uh…have you talked to Emily?”

Y/n furrowed her brows as she stared at Penelope. “Uh…I mean…she was mostly with Morgan in the case so…not really. Why? Something wrong?” She tilted her head as she walked back to Penelope.

“I just…I’ve noticed that she’s been acting a bit odd.” Penelope shrugged. “I even asked her if she was preggo.” She chuckled.

Y/n chuckled softly as she shook her head. “Do we even know if she’s got a boyfriend?”

 “Well, she brushed it off when I mentioned it, but…you know…she’s been late these past few days and that’s not common of her.”

Y/n nodded softly and offered a smile. “I’ll try to talk to her tomorrow when I see her. But I’m sure she’s okay, P. Just…maybe stressed.”

Penelope nodded and smiled. “She trusts you more than she trusts anyone here, honey. I’m sure she’ll let you know if somethings going on.”

“I know.” Y/n smiled. “Night love.”

“Goodnight pretty girl!”

Y/n walked to the elevator and sighed softly as the doors closed. They had been busy with the last few cases that she hadn’t really paid any attention to Emily’s attitude or behaviour, which now that she thought about it, was really wrong of her, and she felt bad about it. As she got in her car, she decided to make a few stops before she stopped by Emily’s apartment. The whole ride, she thought of what exactly she was going to tell Emily, because she knew better than to get to her and be all like ‘oh you’ve been acting weird so I thought I could come and figure out what’s wrong with you’. As much as Emily loved y/n, Emily was not exactly an open book. She finally got to Emily’s apartment and decided it was better to use her key instead of knocking on the door. She walked inside the apartment and was greeted by Sergio, she closed the door softly and as she turned, she found Emily walking out of her room with her gun in hand.

“Woah, Em! It’s me!” Y/n raised her hands as she looked at Emily.

Emily sighed heavily as she put her fun on the back of her jeans and walked to y/n. “What are you doing here?”

Y/n cleared her throat. “Uh…” she looked down at her hands and had a bag of desserts and in the other hand, she had flowers. “I uh…well…I’ve noticed that you haven’t been yourself, I thought you were tired and exhausted, so I decided to…bring something.” She offered a shy smile as she looked at Emily.

Emily’s heart warmed as she stared at y/n, smiling softly as she walked to her, grabbing the flowers, and smelling them. “They smell wonderful.” She looked up at y/n and smiled. “Thank you.”

“Anything for you.” Y/n leaned in and pecked her lips softly. “I also brought your favorite.” She smiled.

Emily chuckled softly as she nodded. “Thank you.” She walked to the kitchen and took a deep breath. She grabbed a vase to put the flowers in and filled it with water. She hated that she had to tell y/n that she couldn’t stay, all she wanted was to be held and to have y/n with her, but she couldn’t put her at risk.

The thing was her nemesis was in the city. Just a few hours ago, she had met with the person she never thought she’d ever see again, the person that she had left in her past and that had been nothing but another case for her. Ian Doyle was looking for her, and she had now put everyone at risk, and the last thing she needed, was for Ian to find out that y/n was more than just a friend and a colleague, he had no idea about her, he thought that the most important thing for Emily was her life, and the team was her family, so in a way, y/n was still very much at risk, but at least he had no idea that she was more than just a friend.

Emily walked back to the dining room and smiled at y/n. “I’m sorry…I hate to do this but I just…” she sighed. “I think I’m getting that flu that Garcia’s been talking about.” She huffed a chuckle as she stared at y/n.

Y/n tilted her head as she pouted. “So you want me to go?”

Emily smiled sadly. “I’m afraid you’ll catch it, and it’ll be a fun thing to explain to the rest of the team why we both have it.” She grinned.

Y/n rolled her eyes playfully and nodded. “I guess you’re right.” She sighed as she stared at Emily, walking to her. “Em…are you okay?”

“I am.” Emily smiled.

Y/n squinted her eyes and raised her brow. “You’re not getting tired of me, are you?”

Emily felt her heart sinking as she stared at her girlfriend. She smiled softly and walked to her, wrapping her arms around her shoulders, and resting her forehead against hers. “I love you too much to do that.” She whispered softly as she smiled.

Y/n smiled widely as she wrapped her arms around her waist. “I love you too.” She furrowed her brows. “You’re really getting sick, Prentiss. You’d have joked about it.”

Emily shrugged. “I also like to tell you that I love you, because I really do.” She smiled softly, leaning in, and kissing her lips softly.

Y/n smiled against her lips and held her as close as possible. “Thought you didn’t want to give me the flu.” She whispered against her lips once they pulled away.

“A kiss won’t hurt.” Emily chuckled softly as she looked at y/n. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Y/n nodded. “Sure will.” She smiled. “Save me my dessert, I’ll come eat it when you feel better.” She grinned as she walked to the door, she petted Sergio before she finally left.

Emily sighed again and felt her eyes getting watery. She hated that she had to do this, she hated that she was pushing the one person she trusted with her whole heart…but again…that sounded pretty hypocrite since y/n had no idea about her past with Ian Doyle. No one could know. She preferred to lie about it than put them more at risk.

********************

Y/n stretched as she got up from bed and yawned. After the exhausting days that they’ve had at the BAU, she had returned home and gotten herself in bed, trying to get herself to get some rest before whatever event was going to happen the next day. But right at two am, there had been a knock on her door, which woke her from her beauty sleep. She walked to the door and looked into the small hole, furrowing her brows as she noticed Emily standing right in front of the door. She opened the door and smiled sleepily.

“You lost your key again?” Y/n raised her brows as she stared at Emily.

Emily smiled softly. “I forgot it at home.”

Y/n nodded. “And you forgot your keys too?”

“I just wanted to see you.” Emily said softly.

Y/n furrowed her brows but said nothing, grabbing Emily’s hand and pulling her inside the apartment, closing the door behind her. “What’s going on, Em?” She said softly.

Emily took a deep breath as she shook her head. “I’ve just been having a hard time sleeping.”

“Then stay here with me.”

“I can’t.” Emily sighed softly. “Sergio…he’s been a pain in the ass. He hates that I leave him alone.”

Y/n grinned softly. “I’m gonna start to be jealous of him, getting all your attention.”

Emily rolled her eyes playfully. She then cupped y/n’s face in her hands, bringing their lips into a sweet and tender kiss. Emily could feel her eyes getting teary, but she stayed close to y/n and kept kissing her softly. Y/n wrapped her arms around Emily, her hands going up and down her back, her fingertips delicately touching her as she kissed Emily back. Even if Emily had this tough, bad girl persona, everyone knew that Emily had a soft spot because she was also a complete nerd, and y/n was lucky enough to say that she was able to experience it. They both pulled away slowly, resting their foreheads against each other’s, smiling softly.

“You know I love you, right?” Emily said softly, smiling at y/n.

“I know.” Y/n pulled away to look into her beautiful brown eyes as she nodded. “And I love you. A lot.” She whispered softly as she kissed her nose softly.

Emily smiled as she ran her fingers through her hair. “This whole stress will end soon.”

Y/n furrowed her brows slightly but nodded. “It will. Maybe you should consider what Rossi said about taking a vacation.” She grinned softly.

Emily chuckled softly as she nodded. “Go somewhere far away from here, no cellphones or technology…just us.”

“Well, he meant only for you.” Y/n teased.

“But I’d take you with me.” Emily smiled lovingly as her other hand stroked her cheek. “I want you with me.”

“And I’ll always be here, Em.” Y/n smiled as she leaned in to kiss her lips again. “Always.”

Emily nodded softly as she kissed her lips again, smiling sadly. “Hey uh…” she reached on her pocket and smiled softly down at her hands. “I got you something.” She looked back at y/n.

Y/n furrowed her brows and tried to look at what Emily had in her hands. “What is it?” She grinned softly.

Emily smiled softly and then opened her hand to show y/n what she had in hands, raising her brow softly. “You always mention you like it.”

Y/n’s lips parted and soon after turned into a smile, looking back up at Emily. “Em…you…you wear this necklace more than anything.”

Emily chuckled softly as she grabbed the heraldic rose pendant and moved behind y/n. She moved y/n’s hair to the side and placed the necklace delicately. “You always mentioned how you liked it…loved it, actually. And I thought maybe you should have it.” She smiled softly as she leaned down to kiss her shoulder. “It’ll look better on you anyway.” She then moved back to face y/n.

Y/n looked down at it and smiled softly. “I do love it.” She looked back at Emily as she held it. “Em-“

“Consider it an early birthday gift.” Emily grinned.

“Still two months to go, though.” Y/n raised her brow as she grinned.

“I like spoiling you, and you know it.” Emily smiled as she wrapped her arms around her and kissed her lips softly. “I gotta go, it’s late.” She whispered softly as she stared at her.

“And Sergio is gonna kill you.” Y/n grinned playfully.

Emily chuckled as she nodded. “Yes.” She looked into y/n’s eyes and smiled, leaning in to kiss her forehead softly. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow.” Y/n smiled.

Y/n stared at her until Emily closed the door and then she was gone, her hands still in the necklace. She sighed softly as she locked the door, her mind spinning as thoughts started to cloud her whole mind. There was something going on, but y/n couldn’t figure out what it was. Emily was definitely not herself, but if she pushed, Emily would only brush it off and she’d say nothing was going on, but the more she focused on Emily, the more worried she was about her. But she was right, this would soon end, and they would be able to go back to their lives.

********************

The whole time they were at the BAU, y/n kept an eye on Emily, trying to focus on what Hotch and the rest of the team was saying about this whole case, but she couldn’t help but see every move that Emily made. She was quieter than usual, which was not normal of her, she always had so much to say about the cases, y/n always found Emily being the best profiler in the team, of course they had their own thing, and she didn’t just think about it because she was her girlfriend, but she truly admired Emily so much, it surprised her when Emily gave her attention and actually wanted to be with her, even with the slight age difference, Emily still had her eyes on y/n. So yes, y/n knew Emily better than anyone in that room, but lately, it seemed like what she knew meant nothing.

Once Emily and Derek were back, y/n couldn’t help but keep her eyes on Emily, but this time, her full attention was on her. Every reaction, every movement, every facial expression, she was trying to get anything she could. As they continued to talk about the case, y/n noticed the way Emily became more tense about it and the way she kept fidgeting with her hands. Before anything else could happen, once the team was a bit more distracted, y/n pulled Emily with her and pulled them inside the bathroom, locking the door behind her.

“What are you doing?” Emily asked, brows furrowed as she stared at y/n.

Y/n crossed her arms as she looked at Emily. “What is going on, Emily?”

Emily shook her head. “I don’t-“

“You do know.” Y/n said, trying not to sound upset or worried. “Emily, I can see the way you’re acting. You never get to work late, even when we have spent the night together. You have barely eaten anything, you’ve barely been sleeping, I can notice. You haven’t been yourself, Em.”

“Baby…I don’t really wanna talk about it.” Emily rubbed her hand on her face as she looked down at the floor.

Y/n shook her head. “I know you don’t. But Emily…you’re not okay. I can tell. I’m here, why won’t you talk to me?” She walked close to Emily and placed her hands on her shoulders, sliding them down to grab her hands. “Please. I’m worried about you, Em.” She whispered softly.

Emily shook her head. “I just…” she sighed as she looked back at y/n. “…I’ve been having these nightmares, I’m exhausted. I want this to end. I need it to end.” She felt her eyes getting teary as her hands landed on y/n’s cheeks, stroking them softly. “I’ll be okay.”

Y/n shook her head as she sighed, wrapping her arms around Emily’s waist. “I’ll stop pushing…but Em, seriously…I’m here.” She looked into her eyes as she smiled. “Come to me. Talk to me.” She whispered softly.

Emily nodded as she leaned down to kiss her lips. “I love you.” She whispered softly against her lips.

Y/n smiled softly. “I love you too.” She kissed her nose softly and then her lips again.

Emily sighed as she pulled away and smiled softly. “We should get back.”

Y/n only nodded and then walked out of the bathroom with Emily, making sure that no one had seen them. As they went back with the rest, y/n still had her attention on Emily but said nothing more. As for Emily, she knew that sooner or later, y/n would figure out what was going on, the whole team would figure it out and there was nothing that would stop them, so she had to act fast. Things were only getting worse, more people were dying, and it was on Emily, and the thought of it was eating her alive. If she didn’t do anything now, he’d soon get to all of them. He’d get to y/n.

********************

Y/n furrowed her brows as she walked around the halls, looking around. After they had mentioned the profile of Ian Doyle, they had gathered around to make a plan and see where they could go next and that’s when she noticed that Emily was nowhere to be found. She saw her once she arrived back with Morgan, she had a worried look, her face had entirely changed and y/n was sure this had something to do with this whole thing, but if she pushed, she knew that she wouldn’t get anything anyway. Once Hotch dismissed everyone, that’s when she noticed she was gone. What was she doing?

“Guys, I cannot find Emily anywhere.” Y/n walked to them and stared at all of them. “What?”

Rossi sighed. “We believe Emily is involved with this case.”

Y/n furrowed her brows. “What?” She shook her head. “No…she would’ve said something. What do you mean involved?”

“Years ago, she was undercover. Weeks ago, she mentioned a name, Lauren Reynolds. Saying she was gone. I believe that was her undercover name.”

Y/n felt dizzy for a moment as she stared at them, not sure what was going on. Emily would’ve told her the truth, as much as she had wanted to protect them, she wouldn’t have lied to her. But she did…that’s why she had been acting weird, she had been pushing her away, she didn’t even let her stay at her apartment. That visit at two a.m., the necklace, Emily repeatedly telling her that she loved her…Emily was hiding it so y/n wouldn’t find out. Emily was a hopeless romantic, that was not a secret, but the way she had been acting, the way she had spoken to y/n…it all made sense now. She was trying to protect her, Ian was after them, and Emily was going to deal with this alone.

It was like her body was acting on its own once they moved to review the information JJ had. She didn’t even know when JJ had arrived, but she was there, she was there to help with the case. Y/n only sat there and tried to focus on everything about which they were talking. Emily had been undercover…she had been one of Ian’s lovers…his lover. She had been involved with him and she was one of the reasons he had ended up behind bars. She had never actually asked much about Emily’s past jobs, Emily always told her about her life, she knew the nerd she was, the silly movies she loved to watch, the books she read, she knew her routine in the morning and at night, what annoyed her and what she liked. She knew Emily. Right? She knew her, she just…didn’t know this part. Emily trusted her. Or maybe not.

“Carter…did you know about this?” Derek snapped as he looked back at y/n, making her snap out of her trance.

Y/n furrowed her brows as she stared at him. “W-What?”

“You’re the closest to Emily. You spend more time with her than with any of us. Did she tell you any of this?” Derek stood up and kept his eyes fixated on y/n.

“Derek…no. I had no idea…I-“

“Please.” Derek scoffed. “You always say it, you know more about Emily than any of us. Why should I believe that you didn’t know any of this?”

“Morgan.” Hotch warned as he stared at him.

“No!” Derek looked at everyone and then went back to y/n. “You and Emily have been hiding this from us for days. She’s now on the run and we have no idea where she could be. So enlighten us, Carter. Tell us where she is so this ends now.”

Y/n stood up from her seat, feeling anger growing in the pit of her stomach. “I have no idea…where she is, Morgan.” She felt her eyes getting teary as she stared at him. “I didn’t know anything about this. She never told me. Trust me, I’m not stupid. If I knew where she was, I wouldn’t be sitting here listening to your crap. I wouldn’t have let her leave. You were the last one with her, what did she tell you?”

“She said nothing. Because she doesn’t trust us. Apparently, you included.” Derek snapped.

“That’s enough.” Rossi said as he stared at both of them.

“Why should I believe you? Why should I believe that you’re not covering for Emily? You’re best friends. You two are literally glued to each other, and you want me to believe that you’re not hiding anything from us? Emily put you up to this, but this has to end now, Carter!” Derek yelled as he walked to Carter. “You’re the person she trusted the most, huh? If she’s your best friend, then you’ll tell us whe-“

“She was more than my best friend! I love her!” Y/n snapped as tears rolled down her cheeks as she stared at Derek. She sobbed softly as she took a step back, feeling everyone’s eyes on her. She looked down at the floor as she shook her head. “We’ve…we’ve been dating for a whole year…we didn’t say anything because…we didn’t want anyone to use us against each other in case something went south on a case.” She said between sobs. “She didn’t tell me anything, Morgan.” She looked back up at him. “You’re right. Maybe she didn’t trust me. Maybe she just wanted to protect me. I don’t even know what to think. I don’t know what’s going on. So please…back off, and let’s focus on finding Emily.”

Everyone in the room said nothing more about the subject, Rossi and Morgan decided to go to Emily’s apartment and y/n went over her bag and handed them the key, staring at Morgan as she did and then leaving the room. She could’ve offered to go with them, she could’ve said that she would be the one going, but she knew that if she did, she wouldn’t want to leave, and she was now a bit afraid of what she might find there. She wasn’t upset…she wasn’t mad…at least not at the moment, she was just…confused.

********************

Y/n felt like she was numb at that point, only focusing on what they had to say about the case and following them around, barely saying anything. She was hoping that she’d wake up from this nightmare, that maybe, just maybe, everything was in her head, that she was actually asleep, and this would end soon. For a moment, she tried to go and clear her mind for a bit, deciding that Penelope could help at least a little bit, but as she walked to her office, she heard her talking and then she figured out what she was doing. She tried to swallow back her tears as she walked to her, offering a small as she turned on her chair.

“Hey, sweet girl.” Penelope said softly as she offered a small smile.

“Hi.” Y/n smiled softly and crossed her arms. “So…we figured out if Emily had a boyfriend, huh?” She chuckled softly.

Penelope nodded as she smiled. “I always thought you guys looked cute. I’m happy you’re actually a couple.”

Y/n smiled softly as she nodded. “Thanks.” She cleared her throat. “Any luck with the phone numbers?”

Penelope shook her head. “No…I’ve left a message in all of them.”

Y/n nodded as she sighed. “Do you think I could uh…could you…give me at least one to try it out?”

Penelope smiled as she turned her chair and wrote down one of the phone numbers, and then turned to look at y/n, handing her the post it. “I just tried this one, is the last one I found.”

Y/n grabbed it and stared at it for a moment, smiling softly as she looked back at Penelope. “Thanks, P.” She nodded before she left.

Y/n looked around the hallway and noticed no one was there, so she for her phone out and dialed the number. She bit her lip softly as she waited, part of her hoping that she’d answer and the other part just waiting to be sent to voicemail. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath as she heard the voicemail tone. “Hey Em…it’s me, y/n. Uh…Penelope gave me this number, we’re not even sure if you have it anymore or not…” she huffed a chuckle. “…I don’t even know what to say. I just want you to know that…I love you. I won’t ever stop doing that.” She sniffled, biting her lip softly as she tried to swallow back her sobs. “Just come back, Emily…please. We can fix this together. I just need you back with me.” She let out sobs as she looked shook her head. “Come back to me.” She sighed as she ended the voicemail and closed her phone, putting it back in her pocket.

Emily sighed as she closed her eyes for a moment. She was exhausted, she was tired, she wanted this whole thing to end, and the worst thing about this, was that she had no idea how this would end. She wanted to cry, she wanted to scream, she felt helpless but she knew she had a reason and purpose, she needed to put an end to this; he wasn’t going to win, not as long as Emily could stop him. She looked down at her phone and furrowed her brows as she noticed two voicemails. Her heart stopped for a second as she heard Penelope’s voice, her eyes getting teary. She hated so much that she was doing this to them, she knew maybe they’d hate her, but she was doing this for them.

She opened the last voicemail and she felt her heart sank, for a moment, her whole world had stopped. It was y/n. She was sure Penelope had given her the phone number. She closed her eyes as she felt l tears rolling down her cheeks. She never meant to hurt y/n like this, she never wanted to lie to her, she never meant to hide this from them, but she thought she’d be able to live with it and that nothing would ever happen, he’d stay in jail forever and no one in her life would know about it. But she was wrong. And she hated it. She wanted to drive back to her lover, hold her and kiss her, but she had to protect her, she had to protect her family.

“I love you…I’m sorry.” Emily whispered softly before she turned off her phone and took a deep breath.

********************

The whole ride to the Warehouse, y/n tried to keep her head clear, thinking that they would be able to find Emily and that this whole thing would finally end, that she’d be able to bring her home and both of them would work on this together. For a moment, as she heard more and more about Emily’s undercover and Ian, she felt herself getting angry at the whole situation. It was clear everyone was upset at the thought of Emily getting involved with someone like him, and she was not gonna lie, it upset her too, but then all she could think about was Emily; was she okay? Was she safe? Y/n knew Emily was a fighter, she could protect herself, but what if Ian had hurt her badly? She couldn’t help the negative thoughts that filled her mind. She grabbed onto her necklace and kissed it, trying to swallow back her tears. She flinched a bit as she felt a hand on her shoulder, and she turned to look at Derek, who offered a small smile.

Y/n decided she’d go in with Derek, she followed them around and her heart started racing as she walked through the warehouse. For a moment, she tried to think that this was just another victim, she wanted to try to concentrate the best she could and not lose her posture. She could almost hear Strauss yelling at her for getting involved even though she knew she should’ve stayed behind. When the lights went out, she felt like she was in a nightmare, following Derek as she kept looking around us, making sure to not miss any door or room. At some point, Derek told y/n to go first to have her back, and just as she walked into the very end of the warehouse, her heart dropped at the sight of Emily on the floor…bleeding.

“Emily!” Y/n dropped to her knees and placed her gun on the floor. “Derek, call an ambulance!” She placed her hand on Emily’s and looked at her, tears rolling down her cheeks. “Emily? Em…please answer me. I’m here.” She said almost in a whisper.

Emily opened her eyes weakly and stared back at y/n. “Y/n?” She whispered weakly.

Y/n nodded and smiled through her tears. “Yes. It’s me. I’m here.” She placed her hand on Emily’s cheek, stroking it softly. “C’mon, baby. I need you to stay with me, help is coming.”

Emily’s breathing was weak, she tried to keep her eyes opened to look at her lover, but it was becoming harder. “Love…I’m…msorry.”

“Help! Please!” Y/n turned to look at Derek with tears in her eyes and then went back to Emily. “No, Em. I know why you did this. I love you, okay? I’m not mad, I’m not upset. I’m here. Just please, please stay with me. I need you, my love. Please.” She cried out as she leaned down to kiss her forehead. “Please, Em…”

“I…love you.” Emily breathed out and closed her eyes.

“Emily! Please! Hurry up!” Y/n looked down at her and sobbed. “Emily!”

The time stopped as y/n kept yelling Emily’s name, and as she felt Derek’s hands on her trying to pull her back, y/n kept yelling and trying to get away from Derek. The paramedics arrived and were all over Emily, y/n could only feel Derek’s arms wrapped around her trying to stop her from moving, and y/n could not do anything else than let herself cry and scream in Derek’s arms. This was not happening. This was not supposed to happen. At some point she felt Derek picking her up and helping her walk so they could follow the ambulance, y/n was sobbing uncontrollably so they didn’t let her go in the ambulance with her.

The whole way to the hospital seemed like a movie, y/n felt like she was not there, she was just numb, and she had gone completely quiet. She could feel JJ and Derek holding her, but she only sat there, her eyes glued to the ambulance in front of them. And then, as if she had transported, she was in the visitors lounge with the whole team. She didn’t know when or how they had all arrived there, even Penelope. She had sat down alone, only staring down at her hands as she fidgeted with her fingers. She thought that she had ran out of tears because none were coming out of her eyes, she could feel her head throbbing, her eyes were swollen and her whole body was trembling. If this is a nightmare, just wake up. Wake up now. She kept repeating in her head over and over again. In the corner of her eye, she saw a figure moving, making her turn her face to find JJ and she stood up rapidly to walk to JJ.

“JJ?” Y/n asked in a whisper as she walked to her. She furrowed her brows when she didn’t say anything. “JJ…say something.” She made a pause and shook her head as there was still silence coming from JJ.

“No…” Penelope whispered softly, her voice breaking.

“Say something!” Y/n’s bottom lip trembled as she sobbed quietly. “Please…”

“She never made it off the table.” JJ said softly, but rapidly, as if she had pushed herself from saying those words.

Y/n felt her like time stopped once again as JJ’s words kept replying in her mind. She could hear Penelope and Spencer crying, she could hear them in the background, but all she could do was sit back down, just staring into nothing as her mind processed JJ’s words. She felt someone touching her shoulder, but she couldn’t make up the words that were coming out of their mouth, her mind had shut down entirely and her body couldn’t react. At some point she felt something wet on her face and she processed in her mind that she was crying and then her mind registered where she was. She looked up and found Penelope by her side, wrapping her arms around her and that’s when she felt her whole body giving up and she started sobbing again, screaming loudly as Penelope tightened her grip on her. She was living in the nightmare.

********************

“I really wish you would’ve told me, Em…I could’ve probably helped you.” Y/n whispered softly, tears rolling down her cheeks. “I miss you terribly.” She sobbed quietly.

“Y/n?” Derek asked softly as she stood beside her.

Y/n cleared her throat as she smiled sadly. “She gave me her necklace. The day before, she came to my apartment at two a.m. I guess she thought that…maybe if she went that late, maybe they wouldn’t be watching her or something.” She shrugged softly as she looked down at the grave. “She seemed so…worried but she was reassuring me that she was okay.” She huffed a chuckle. “I knew she was not, but I didn’t push. I let her have control. She kissed me and left.” She shook her head as more tears rolled down her cheeks. “I should’ve pushed.”

“We know she wouldn’t have told you anything anyway.” Derek sighed. “She wanted to protect us. Protect you.”

Y/n nodded. “I hate her for that.” She shook her head. “I should be upset that she didn’t tell me anything, that she got involved with him.” She sighed. “But I’m upset that she let this happen and I couldn’t be there to save her.”

Derek nodded. “We did what we could.”

Y/n looked up at Derek as she cried. “Did we?” She cried out.

Derek stared at her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her to him and kissing her forehead softly. “I’m sorry for how I spoke to you.”

“I forgive you.” Y/n whispered softly as she rested her head against his shoulder. “I’m sorry too.”

Derek shook his head. “We’re good, princess. And I’m here.”

Y/n nodded. “I know. I’m here too.” She sighed as she let more tears roll down her cheeks.

“So…wanna tell me how it all began?” Derek grinned as he looked down at y/n.

Y/n huffed a chuckle as she wiped her tears. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

“I do too.”

Y/n turned to look at Penelope and smiled softly. “You’re still here.”

Penelope smiled through her tears. “I didn’t want to leave you, sweet cheeks.”

Y/n smiled as she extended her hand for Penelope to take it. She then looked back at the grave and smiled. “I think Emily would love for me to tell you guys about how it all started.” She nodded softly as she knelt down and sat on the grass, followed by Penelope and Derek.

[literaryslapshot]

I'm sorry the mood board for coach!Sid and him sitting and reading to her in the bathtub 🥺.

Can you explain some more about that?

i would love to, actually. i would like to call this, sidney taking care of his woman after a long hard first week back at school.

coach sidney x teacher reader

"hey, i think you need to take a break," sidney said softly, his large hands rubbing your shoulders and laying a gentle kiss to your temple. you'd been lesson planning, emailing, and prepping for going on two hours now.

carter had gone to the first football game of the season with friends, so it was just you and sidney at home. he'd cooked dinner for you and helped you get things organized, but he stopped an hour ago. you found yourself drowning in papers and with highlighter marker all over your finger tips. he was right, but you needed to finish this if you wanted any chance at having a weekend with your boys.

"it'll be here tomorrow," he whispered, resting his palms on the table either side of you, trapping you in, trying to distract you. but you kept planning, kept digging, kept organizing. you kept marking, writing, typing until he sighed loudly and it took sidney shutting the lid of your computer and taking your pen out of your hand to get you to stop. "it'll be here tomorrow," he repeats with more punctuation.

"yeah, but i want to be able to spend time with you and carter tomorrow," you sighed, rubbing the tips of your fingers on your hairline, closing your eyes slowly.

"carter told me he's gonna be at the lake tomorrow with his friends. so it's just you and me tomorrow." sidney kissed your temple again, pulling on your hand. "go get in the bath, i'll come bring you a glass of wine. would you like me to read to you like last time?"

you hummed, standing up and stretching out your arms. "yeah, i'd like that."

as you sat in the warm bath, the bubbles had been fizzled out now and your once cold glass of wine now room temp. but you had all you need in this bathroom. sidney sat at the edge of the tub, the book the two of you had been going through together being read aloud. his soothing voice could put you to sleep, but the plot was just getting to the thickest point. "hey- stay awake, it's getting good." with his hand sidney flicked some water onto your face making you giggle.

you agreed on a stopping point in the book meaning it was time to get out of the tub. he wrapped a fuzzy towel around you, holding you close and swaying back and forth with him while he gave you soft kisses on your damp skin.

"how'd i get so lucky, sid?" your question made him chuckle.

"you're a helicopter mom who was threatening your sons coach," you scoffed and rolled your eyes attempting to pull away but he only held you tighter. "no no, i'm kidding. i ask myself the same question everyday, especially in moments like these."

[sansaorgana]

📻 PLAYLIST — LEADER OF THE PACK

TRACK 2. — TO KNOW HIM IS TO LOVE HIM BY LESLEY GORE ⏮ ⏸ ⏭

PAIRING — Benny Cross x fem!Reader

SUMMARY — You are still friends with Benny and your crush on him gets even worse. In the meantime, he meets new friends and they give you reasons to worry about his future.

AUTHOR’S NOTE — Once again – the gif is NOT a faceclaim & the Reader's looks are not described. I am sorry it's taking me slower than I expected to write but I am job hunting at the moment and I am very close to getting one job and last week I was doing things related to that. Please, keep your fingers crossed! 😇 If I get the job, I will still write just slower but if I don't... I'm gonna have more time for writing! 🤪

WARNINGS — era accurate sexism and mindset of characters (I assumed it would be like late 1950s / early 1960s and they are from a small town), Reader and Benny are still minors in this part

WORD COUNT — 4,060

ENGLISH IS MY SECOND LANGUAGE.

LEADER OF THE PACK (TRACK 2.)

You were still friends with Benny but he was obviously never invited again to your house and he had enough decency to never ask you why. Your mother hadn’t actually said anything about forbidding you to be friends with him so you didn’t feel like you had to hide that fact, although you were trying not to mention Benny around your family and whenever his name slipped out of your mouth, your mother and Luke were exchanging angry looks. Your father was oblivious to the fact Benny had been in your house once, so he was mostly just ignoring your little mentions of Benny’s name here and there. In fact, you were sure he was not listening to you at all.

The only thing you were worried about was the fact Luke was going to the same school as you. You didn’t want your brother to see how much time you were spending with Benny and that was nearly all of it. Thankfully, Luke was too busy developing his relationship with Patsy Carter and it included going on many dates but also trying to impress her on the baseball field, so he was mostly focused on practising.

That was not the last time you and Benny spent the time together outside of the school, though. A few weeks after the incident with your mother and Luke, Benny told you that you could come over to his place after classes. Your eyes widened at this proposition because you knew that he lived in a dangerous part of town. You didn’t want to phrase it this way, though.

“I don’t know, Benny… You’ve never mentioned inviting me before…” You looked down nervously when you were sitting next to him in the cafeteria.

“I know but I kinda, like, owe you now, don’t I?” He scratched the back of his head.

“It’s fine, Benny, really…” You smiled shyly. “I mean… You don’t have a mom to make us dinner, it’s fine, I understand…” You tried to assure him. 

“I’ll think of somethin’,” Benny mumbled and stood up, putting his hands inside the pockets of his jeans. “Well, fine, let’s not. Sorry for bein’ pushy,” he shrugged his arms and you looked up at the sound of his tone. He was angry.

You suspected why – he was ashamed of his place and now you had to confirm that he indeed had reasons to be. You didn’t even want to go there.

“Benny, it’s not what you think… I’m scared of your dad,” you bit on your lower lip. That was true, too. After all the stories Benny had shared with you, it would be crazy to not be afraid of that drunkard.

“He’s outta town,” Benny crouched down and his face visibly softened when he found out the reason. “I would never let him hurt you anyway, (Y/N). But he’s outta town and God only knows when he’s gonna be back,” he admitted.

“What?” You furrowed your brows. “Why?”

“He met some girl at the bar a few nights ago. He packed his bags, left me a note that he’s going to visit her. It’s not the first time he’s leaving like that but it’s the first time I’m left alone without my ma,” he admitted and your heart clenched in your chest at his confession. He was talking about it as if it was something completely normal and casual, he even shrugged his arms. But it was not normal or casual and you had to fight the urge to caress his face and hug him – you still hadn’t gained the courage to make him know how you felt about him.

“Well, okay, then, I can come to your place. Tomorrow?” You asked.

“Why not today, doll?” Benny winked at you.

“Because I have to tell my mom that I won’t be back for dinner. I’m gonna lie that I’m visiting Rachel,” you told him and Benny nodded.

“That Rachel girl… She doesn’t like me,” he pointed out and blushed a little.

“But she likes me. We’re best friends,” you assured him.

It was Friday and it was colder on that day than you expected it would be. You only wore a cardigan but Benny put his jacket over you and you felt like the most special girl in the world. You followed him to his side of town and you tried to walk as close as possible. You noticed, though, that he didn’t take the books from you this time. You wondered why. Was it possible that he didn’t want his friends from his street to see him carrying books for a girl?

Not long after, you realised that your assumptions were probably true. He was saying hi to many guys on the street and each was worse than the other. They were older than Benny, looking mean and scary, staring at you like you were a naive piece of meat.

“Is that your girl, Cross?” One of them asked. His jeans were ripped and he was wearing heavy black leather boots.

“Nah, just my friend. She helps me at school,” Benny answered and you knew that it was the truth but you still felt a little hurt by his words.

“You care ‘bout school?” The guy snorted. “Anyway, you gonna come over tomorrow and help me fix the bike, huh? I heard your ol’ man’s outta town again so Cassie can feed you dinner.”

“Yeah, I’m gonna come over,” Benny nodded and then he grabbed you by the hem of your jacket to pull you closer and drag you behind him. Apparently it was not in fashion here to say have a good day at the end of the conversation.

“Who’s Cassie?” You asked Benny, biting on your lower lip. You felt stupid for getting jealous just because some other girl’s name was mentioned but you couldn’t help it.

“That guy’s girl,” Benny shrugged his arms.

“What is his name?”

“Henry, but they call him Hammer ever since I remember,” Benny answered. “He lives with Cassie down the street.”

“So… They’re married?” You furrowed your brows.

“No,” Benny laughed at that and you didn’t like the way he did so – like you were stupid. Then he stopped in front of a house that looked like it had been built in the Great Depression and hadn’t been renovated since. “It’s here,” he pointed at the door with his chin.

“O-oh, nice,” you forced a smile and watched him unlock the door. Then, he held them open for you and you carefully walked inside. The interior looked like the exterior and you were thankful that Benny didn’t take his shoes off because it meant you didn’t have to either and you would rather not walk on this floor with your white socks on.

Beny helped you to get out of his jacket and he hung it on the wall before leading you to the kitchen. There was a small table by the window and you put the books there.

“Wanna drink somethin’?” Benny asked.

“Wouldn’t mind a cup of tea,” you admitted and sat by the table.

“Tea, yeah, sure,” Benny sighed and started to look through the cabinets. After two minutes you were convinced there was no tea in this house but he eventually found a bag and placed it inside a cup after putting the kettle on.

In the meantime, you looked around and you smiled sadly at the picture on the wall. There was a kind-looking but very exhausted woman with sad eyes on it that was holding a little boy on her lap. It had to be Benny with his mom. He caught you staring.

“It’s the only picture of her we have,” he admitted. “She didn’t like being photographed,” he explained.

“And the wedding picture?” You asked and Benny shook his head.

“She burnt it one time when my ol’ man was not coming back home for months. She didn’t expect he’d be back,” he told you.

“It’s a shame,” you didn’t know what else to say.

“He didn’t notice and she didn’t like the picture anyway,” Benny shrugged his arms and that was when the kettle began to whistle, so he stood up to pour the hot water inside your cup. He handed it to you and sat on the chair by the table as well.

“Do you want to start with doing homework?” You asked, trying to change the subject.

“I think it’s a waste of time,” Benny confessed and you furrowed your brows at that. “I mean, you’re wasting your time on me. I won’t ever be as smart as you anyway,” he shrugged.

“Well, I’m not trying to make you as smart as me, I’m just helping you to pass your classes,” you teased with a nervous smile.

“I dunno…”

“What about your mom? Wouldn’t she like you to finish the school year?” You tried a different tactic and Benny’s eyes saddened. Short silence occurred between you two and you sipped on your tea while waiting for his answer.

“She wanted me to find a proper job and all that. She wanted me to be nothin’ like my ol’ man,” he sighed.

“You won’t be,” you assured him. You knew it was a risky thing to say but you had a feeling deep down that Benny was not a bad boy at all.

Everyone was saying that he was because no one truly saw him. Your family and Rachel were seeing Benny in a context of his father and the neighbourhood he was living in. They didn’t care enough to look deeper and when they attempted to do so – like your mother those few weeks earlier, they were getting scared and turning their backs on him just because they would approach some difficult trait about him that they were not empathetic enough to forgive. But was it so surprising that a boy who had been growing up like this would have so much anger in him? No, it was not.

Even you were angry about many things – you were angry at your father for being cold and harsh with you and your mother. You were jealous of Rachel’s dad. He was treating Rachel and her sisters like princesses and he was always so warm and kind. He was making you feel safe in a way your father never could. And Rachel’s dad had been in the war as well but he was never using it against his daughters.

You were angry at your mother that she was so obedient. You knew that she was trying her best to be a good wife and mother and you admired her for that but there were limits to everything. Sometimes she should just step in and put her husband back in his place. You knew many women who were like this but not your mother and you were angry that she lacked the courage.

You were angry at Luke for treating you like shit and acting like an asshole while trying his best to be like your father and to impress him. He also was angry at you because, despite everything, he was never as smart as you and he could never go to college, so he couldn’t plan that after high school. You would be the only child who would probably go there and that was this only thing you were better at than him. It was bringing you lots of satisfaction.

But still, you were angry that you hadn’t been born a boy. You wouldn’t have to care about so many rules and you could be more free and more reckless… All of that while having the unconditional love of your father.

Yes, even you were angry about lots of things. So, you couldn’t even imagine how angry Benny had to be. About everything. That was why you weren’t surprised or scared while finding out more and more dark things about him. Because you knew that if you dug deep enough, you would find a diamond.

Or perhaps you wanted to believe that.

“You know, I’m jealous of guys like Hammer,” Benny leaned back in his chair.

“Why would you be?” You asked surprised. You couldn’t understand what was there to be jealous about – you had seen that guy and he was a bum.

“Well, he’s got the bike, he can just hop on it and ride wherever he wants. He’s free,” Benny explained to you.

“And Cassie?”

“Cassie’s just a girl. He can leave her behind anytime and she’s gonna wait for him,” Benny shrugged his arms and you clenched your jaw.

“So… Like your father?” You asked and he blushed.

“Nah… Come on, I was only sayin’... I didn’t mean that…” He started, visibly feeling stupid.

“Let’s start studying,” you decided in the harsh tone of a teacher while opening the first book and Benny nodded quietly.

You were doing homework and additional exercises for about two hours before your stomach began to growl. You were embarrassed about it but Benny quickly caught that and he stood up to put something inside the oven.

“What is it?” You asked, not trusting his cooking skills completely.

“I bought it in the market, it says on the box to put it inside the oven for some time,” Benny explained.

“Oh, okay,” you sighed with relief. It had to be one of those frozen dinners that your father was always saying they meant that the housewife was lazy. But Benny was not a housewife.

However, when the meal was ready and placed on a plate in front of you, you noticed that Benny was making himself a sandwich and the bread he was using did not look very fresh.

“Are you not eating dinner?” You asked him, surprised.

“I didn’t have enough money to buy two,” Benny blushed and you felt extremely bad.

“Well, I can survive without dinner once. Please, have mine,” you pushed the plate away to move it to his side of the table.

“No, I bought it for you,” Benny shook his head.

“I can have a sandwich,” you insisted.

“No,” Benny looked at you sternly. It made you look down and you began to quietly eat the dinner he had made for you. It wasn’t very good – you had to admit that to your father.

While eating, you considered all the ways you could help Benny with. Perhaps your mother would want to give him a second chance if she knew the truth about his current situation? Maybe she would at least give him some leftovers? Maybe you could give him your pocket money? But you knew that Benny was incredibly proud and you had a feeling that he would find it insulting if you even tried any of these things. So, you just had to accept this situation.

“I’m fine. I’ll be fine,” he broke the silence suddenly as if he knew what you were thinking about. “Hammer’s looking after me and so does Cassie.”

“That’s nice of them. Why are they like this?” You asked.

“My mom was babysitting him sometimes, he’s not much older than us. And I remind him of his baby brother who died,” Benny explained and you nodded. “Cassie’s my distant cousin, I think. At least she told me once that our mothers were cousins or somethin’, dunno. But she had it bad in life, her ol’ man was much worse than mine. She has a big heart, she helps everyone,” Benny added.

“I’m glad you have them,” was all you could say.

When you saw Benny again at school on Monday, he was wearing clothes that hadn’t been ironed at all. He never wore properly ironed clothes but this time they looked simply awful. You just had to point it out.

“I usually iron my clothes,” he told you, a little embarrassed. “But I had no time over the weekend. Had to take more jobs than usual, my dad’s still not back,” he explained. “Also, I met new people, you know?” His eyes sparkled with excitement and you sat next to him on the bench in the corridor but you had to admit that it was making you feel uncomfortable how other kids were staring at you two contemptuously. They also saw that Benny’s clothes were even worse than usual.

“Oh, really?” You asked him.

“So, I went to Hammer and Cassie on Saturday to help him fix the bike. He can do it himself but it’s faster when I help him and I like it because I learn a lot then. So yeah, I was there, fixing his bike, and his friends came over. They all have their own bikes, (Y/N). They’re all so cool,” Benny was visibly excited about it and you were nodding your head but you didn’t like his words at all.

You didn’t want to tell him about being careful around those people or that they could be a bad influence on him. You didn’t want to sound like everyone else and Benny liked you because you were different. But you just hated that he seemed to be more invested in those guys and their motorbikes than he was about school, upcoming exams and his future.

“What about Mr. Midler?” You interrupted his story about Hammer’s friends and Benny closed his mouth, confused. “The mechanic who was hiring you sometimes for the weekends? You mentioned he wanted you to work for him in the summer and perhaps he’d give you a job after high school? He has no sons of his own who would inherit,” you reminded him.

“(Y/N), please, Mr. Midler is history to me now,” Benny answered mysteriously.

“You had a fight with him?”

“Yeah, sort of,” Benny blushed.

“I’m sure it can be solved. Let me talk to him,” you proposed and Benny’s baby blue eyes widened at those words.

“No!” Benny shook his head.

“What did you do, Benny?” You asked him as your heart skipped a beat, expecting the worst.

“Nothin’, really, I was just rude to some of his clients,” Benny rolled his eyes and shrugged. “They were assholes to me and Mr. Midler said that I should have worn a fake smile and all that. But that’s not my nature, you know, doll? To just ignore when someone’s treatin’ me like shit.”

“Oh, I know,” you nodded and sighed. “Do you want me to iron your clothes after school today?” You quickly changed the subject and reached out to fix a wrinkle on his shirt.

It was a good excuse that his clothes were not ironed because you could touch him here and there, pretending to fix his appearance. When, in fact, you were just dying to touch him. You wondered what it would be like to be a girlfriend of a boy like Benny. It had to be completely different than to be a girlfriend of an ordinary guy like all the rest at school.

But you knew Benny would never want to date a girl like you. He was treating you like a friend but he would never see you as a woman. Yeah, he had to like real women. And you were still a child. Naive and innocent.

“It’s fine. I’m going to Hammer’s after school and Cassie’s gonna do that,” Benny told you and you took your hand away while nodding sadly.

Benny’s father didn’t come back home and he started suspecting he wouldn’t come back at all. It was better in many ways – his father had been a drunk burden after all. But he was an adult and he could earn more money. Even though he would spend most of it on alcohol, he still could pay the bills somehow with Benny’s help and now Benny was alone with it, which resulted in him coming to school less often.

And when he was actually showing up, he was talking mostly about Hammer and his biker friends. You were pretending to be interested in it but you were just begging Benny to open the books and catch up on the classes he had missed instead. Sometimes he agreed, sometimes he didn’t but you were positive he would finish this year with your help. Barely, but still.

You didn’t mind him having new friends but you had a bad feeling about those guys and the fact he seemed to be so fascinated with them made you feel frustrated because it was ruining your plans. It was silly, of course, to have those plans. But in your head, you would go to college and Benny would start his job as a mechanic after high school. You would marry him after graduating from college and you would start a family together. You would be a teacher and he’d fix cars for money. Maybe one day he would start his own business. 

Those were stupid and unrealistic dreams, of course. And the more he was talking about his new and awful friends, the more you were convinced that those dreams were even more unrealistic than you had been suspecting. Also, you didn’t like the fact that Benny hadn’t mentioned even once that you should meet his new friends.

As if he knew that you were completely out of a different world than them and he didn’t want to mix up those worlds. But would he eventually give up on one to focus more on the other? You knew he would never choose you. You were not interesting enough even though you were trying. You bought a black eyeliner and tried to make your eyes look like women in the magazines had them but you failed and decided to never use it again. You hid it inside your desk’s drawer with anger.

You also stopped wearing so many ribbons and pink sweaters but Benny didn’t seem to even notice anything. He was still treating you the same so maybe it had never been about your appearance. Perhaps it was about your character and that was more difficult to change. You didn’t want to change it either.

You loved Benny for who he was. Why couldn’t he love you just the same?

You were worried about him and you prayed at night to whoever would listen for Benny to finally see how much you cared about him. For him to give you a chance and you would take care of him despite what everyone would think and say about you for choosing a boy like him to give all of your love to. You wished you were both eighteen already so you could live with him and cook for him, iron his clothes, make his bed and all those things your mother was doing every day for your father. Sometimes, you were even sure that if Benny asked, you would not go to college and marry him straight out of high school.

That was how much in love you were. Or perhaps how foolish you were.

But there were also times when you loved him a little less. When you would come back home from school hurt – after Benny had treated you a little coldly or ignored you to talk about his new friends. You would sit on your bed sadly and hate him for the fact how much he was affecting you and how your mood every day depended on him. You wondered then why did you even insist on loving him so much…

So, one day, you tore a page out of your notebook and prepared a list:

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Reasons why I love Benny Cross ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ ♡ he can be mean but when he’s nice, then nobody’s better ♡♡ he makes me feel like the most special girl in the world ♡♡♡ he’s strong and doesn’t care much what others think of him ♡♡♡♡ he has the most beautiful eyes and his hair look like gold in sunlight ♡♡♡♡♡ he’s different than all the other boys I know – including my dad and Luke, which is a good thing ♡♡♡♡♡♡ he deserves better and I know I could give him the world if he only gave me a chance ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ his voice!!! ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ he’s taking care of me the way he can (carrying my books, giving me his jacket, making me food) ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ his lips were made for kissing, I just know… ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ when I make him laugh, I feel invincible

MASTERLIST

[toxicanonymity]

when raider met sweet pea

1k words  | analysis of raider!Joel x f!reader

Raider Joel Master List 

This is a peek inside early, unevolved raider joel in the original fic from March. We know how much he’s grown since then, but he’s done terrible, inexcusable things, and he knows it.  NOTES: You're referred to as sweet pea in this, Joel's pet name for you. General HC followed by Q&A. Thank you @milla-frenchy for always having good Qs. I have great Qs from others too that I'll get to as I can (looking at u @javier-penas-wifexx420, and others). To raider's pr team, sorry for going back in time but FIWB. WARNINGS: References to noncon, assault.

Here’s how I HC what happened under the surface:  When Joel interrupted the men from taking sweet pea, it wasn't a noble rescue mission. Mainly, he was fed up with the men and wanted to put them in their place. But then, one of the men used the butt of his rifle under her chin to make her look up, and this is what unlocked or triggered something in Joel:  She looked at Joel thinking he was saving her, and something in her face had a subconscious effect on him -- like he saw her hope and appreciation, and saw someone looking at him like he was a good man who mattered to them. It made him feel needed, which he hadn’t felt for so long that he didn’t even recognize the feeling, or know how to feel it, much less what to do with it.

That moment created the tiniest crack, a minuscule window into the man buried under the persona built by trauma and the apocalypse. The crack was too tiny to change his behavior yet, but that tiny window allowed him to see a glimmer of something else possible and allowed him to subconsciously connect with her in a way he hadn't connected in ages.  From his raider persona, everyone is pretty 2D, so consciously, he's not seeing or treating her (or anyone) as a real person at this point. But that moment still resulted in a “spark,” like a magnetism, and the crack in his shell grows over time. 

When he takes her inside: it was likely unusual that he took her somewhere private. Normally, he does things in front of the other men to show dominance (see Stash House).  Subconsciously, that tiny part of him wanted to feel like a protector, and taking her somewhere private may have been his pathetic idea of a protective gesture, physically picking her up and taking her away from the worse (more violent) guys.

He takes her to the room intending for her to suck his dick by default, but I don't think P in V was always his intent:  He doesn't threaten or mention fucking her upfront when he’s telling her what’s going to happen.  He tells her she's gonna suck his dick and to be a good girl and it'll be over quick. While she sucks him, he decides he has to have her (be inside her).  He says "alright sweet pea, now pull down your pants for me." He was acting on his primitive urges and what his body wanted in that moment for whatever reason -- he's a raider and has a huge sense of entitlement. Even though his escalation wasn’t out of malice, the effect is that he made the attack worse. He’s a bad person and a r*pist, and he knows it.

(Note, I’m only censoring this word because other people censor it and I sense some people find it jolting to see even if they read noncon. I'm not censoring it to try to make him look better. His past is a part of him, there's no getting around the fact that he's a r*pist. He's the last person who would want it forgiven or excused. He kinda hates himself ). 

Q: I've been wondering if he could have done to other women what he did to sweet pea in the 1st chapter

He did at least make other women suck his dick in the past. As for how he sees his past behavior now, it'll come out eventually, not like an OOC monologue, like a word in passing or implied here or there.

Q: I think you wrote somewhere that Joel didn't approve of the behavior of some of his men with women, and that Carter wasn't like that (was I dreaming?)  

The men who had sweet pea at the beginning of ch 1 are more physically aggressive and violent with women, physically forcing them and hurting them, whereas Joel calmly told sweet pea what to do (while he was heavily armed) and didn’t physically hurt her. The other men will smack them around and gang rape them. Joel feels like that behavior from men is weak, like if you're going to physically hurt someone, pick on someone your own size. He doesn’t feel moral superiority for this (I mean he doesn't see himself as a good guy), but he sees himself as stronger and more dominant than men who need to hurt a weaker person.

Q: Why is he so possessive and jealous, since day 1? In failed rescue : "He describes you. Joel’s jaw clenches and his eyes darken.  He waits a beat before answering." I love that 😏 but it's super fast. Did she trigger something in him from day one?

When he initially decided she's his so quickly, most importantly, he means she's not anyone else's. He's in charge, he's claimed her, he's dominant, and he's the boss. That was his original intent and he didn't expect it to go further than that.  But it goes beyond that because of the moment explained above. So it's also his primitive instinct that she's his, and that’s what you see when her bf describes her in your quote. Whatever connection or feeling was created by the way she looked at Joel made her special, and he couldn't let go of it. So she became like a precious possession at that point. Since then, he’s slowly evolved to where she’s not just a possession, but certainly still his. 

—

Thank you so much for reading. I really adore everyone's interest and investment in raider!Joel. If you love raider joel, please interact with his fics -- it's always better late than never. Comments mean a lot no matter how small, and reblogs mean a lot regardless of blog size. I know most of raider's fans started as lurkers, and I don't judge for your lurking era. Most of my tumblr bffs started as lurkers.

Ik the tense is all over the place in this sorry lol

TY ILY 🖤🖤🖤

[anonymityisfunwriter]

angel eyes.

Pairing - Steve Rogers x Reader Summary - There's a price for those few months of paradise, a price for allowing yourself to be hypnotized. You'll never be the same, but you're not sure you'll ever regret peering into those angeleyes.

a.n. - day 4!!! hope you guys are enjoying! i swear i do not hate steve. i promise i love him. i'm making it a goal to write something nice about him. probably. at some point.

Steve Rogers Masterlist | AnonymityisFun’s SongFics Anon's Birthday Celebration

"I'll see you later," you chuckle against his lips. You lightly push him away with a snort, "Go. You're gonna be late."

"I'm going. I'm going," he laughs. He pulls you back by your waist, "But maybe just another kiss. For good luck."

"Go!"

"Fine," he dramatically sighs, refusing to drop your hand. "If I have to."

"You have to."

He spares another tender kiss, gripping the back of your neck, "I'll see you tonight, okay?"

"Can't wait."

You watch him walk down the hangar to the Quinjet where his team waits for him. You can't help but wonder how you got so lucky, how you had earned the privilege of looking into those angel eyes.

"It's the eyes, you know."

You jolt at the familiar voice. "Sharon..."

She offers an apologetic smile, as though she knows the last person you want to see is Steve's ex-girlfriend. "I'm just - it's the eyes. It's a game he likes to play. Don't look too deep into them."

"Sharon, I..."

She sucks in a shaky breath, her eyes once bright and determined, now tired and almost... lifeless like she'd been burnt out and drained dry. "I wish someone would've warned me. I swear I mean you no harm. Just be careful."

Her words echo in your mind until Steve returns later that night.

It eats as you. Don't look into those angeleyes, she said. Those eyes you had the privilege of peering into day in and out. The eyes that you loved so deeply. How could you ever stop gazing into them?

"Steve?" It falls out of your mouth as you sit before empty plates, the meal you home cooked for him now cold. "What happened between you and Sharon?"

His eyebrows furrow, clearly thrown off by the question, "Sharon?"

"I guess I'm just curious."

"Did she say something to you?"

"I saw her earlier. She told me to be careful."

"To be careful? What, with me?"

You shrug, keeping the details of her warning close to your chest. "I don't know. Maybe."

He scoffs, "She was just - she was high maintenance. She wanted more than I could give her."

"Like what?"

He lets out a huff of air, his eyes rolling, "Like everything. It wasn't enough for her. Nothing I ever did was enough for her."

"Oh."

"Just don't listen to her. Okay?"

You nod, "Okay."

"That's what I love about you, you know." He stands, rounding himself to stand behind your seat. He wraps his arms around your shoulders, nuzzling his face in the crook of your neck. "You're not like other girls. You don't ask for too much. You're okay with keeping things casual."

"Casual?"

You only wish you would've listened to her warning. You wish you wouldn't have dismissed her as Steve's heartbroken ex.

It was so dream like. You're not entirely convinced you weren't hypnotized by those angel eyes. You fell face first into his paradise.

Dreamy nights spent with him whispering sweet nothings in your ear.

Lazy mornings spent in his kitchen.

You didn't see the mask slip until it was too late.

Not until you're the one asking for too much.

Not until you're the one he can no longer maintain.

Not until you're exactly like Sharon Carter.

Long after he discards you, you happen upon him one night. You're simply taking a late night around the perimeter of the Compound, one of the few bits of peace that you have in the aftermath of Steve Rogers.

And there he is. Standing there with a younger girl.

The look he gives her sends shivers down your spine. It's the way he used to look at you.

It occurs to you that she is you. The you from months ago. The you that fell into a blind paradise with Steve Rogers.

It's hopeless against those eyes. Against that perfect smile. Against him. One look and you're hypnotized. You know firsthand how easy it is to fall into the trance.

It's only in retrospect that you realize why his eyes were so angelic. Why they were so bright. Why they were so full of life and hope. It was the same reason that Sharon's eyes were so dull. Why you could hardly recognize yourself anymore. Because Steve Rogers is a man who takes. He takes and takes until there's nothing left.

You should warn her. You should offer her the same kindness Sharon Carter offered you. Maybe she'll use the wisdom better than you did.

The moment he leaves her standing alone in the pale moonlight, it's your one and likely only chance.

You approach her. As you gently touch her shoulder, you briefly wonder if you like exactly like Sharon Carter did when she warned you. Did your eyes look as lifeless and burned out as hers did? Did Steve's eyes glow even brighter because of it?

"Don't look too deep into those angel eyes."

Steve Rogers Masterlist Anon's Birthday Celebration

Taglist: @marianita195 @meli18gonzalez @ludicbouquetfromearth @matchat3a @famousbreadcherryblossomsstuff @valoraxx @blue786sworld @buckyandgeraltsupremacy @geminigengar @ansaturn @ecolle @lexhalstead3 @ybflkmj @mediocre-daydreams@shanye1112 @thegirlnextdoorssister @toomanyfanficsbruh @moonlightreader649 @breathtaking-cynthia @mirikusashes @beans-and-toast @niyahcoca @katiechikin @elxvrr @antiheroxsblog @infamouslyclumsy @krissydclayton93 @buckysbarne @deadheadwbedhead @qualitygiantshoepsychic @whitexwolfxx310 @getosprettyboy @matchat3a @weallhaveadestiny @mostlymarvelgirl @honeydew3064 @michealharrypotter @mrs-bucky-barnes-73 @withyoutilltheendoftheline @the-photo-hoe @rae-nna @sarachabeans1@double-shot-of-tequila @spookyparadisesheep @lunaalovesyouu @daisy-loves-bucky@roseproseposts @theoraekenslover@king814318 @maybesomedaytho @carlie-babes99 @sunshinechikin @as-white-as-snow-love @melala1030 @badasswlthafatass @armystay89 @multiversefanfics @cherrysscinema @breathlesspieceofdeath @ravenn-darkholme @bxckybxrnes24 @guiltyasreid @bellabarnes1378 @blithecapricorn @mrsnikstan

[cher-rei]

afterglow- pt 2 [ T.A.A ]

pairings: trent alexander arnold × fem!reader

summary: young and aspiring marketing and business major jamie carter (you) is privileged with working alongside the liverpool marketing and public relations team while also getting entangled with their star player and right back, trent alexander arnold.

[wc: 2,1k] [part 1] [part 3] [part 4] [part 5] [part 6] [part 7] [part 8] [part 9] [part 10] [part 11] [part 12]

genre(s): friends?? to lovers, work romance, fluff

warnings: swearing

notes: guys I totally forgot that curtis has a girlfriend help💀 so I'm just gonna remove her completely and in here they're not together... it's for the plot I swear

"what the fuck?!"

"jamie!" your sister's voice echoed through the house to your bedroom that early wednesday morning. it was normal for her to scold at you whenever you swore anywhere near her. which was all the time seeing as the two of you shared an apartment.

you didn't bother apologising as usual though and sat up straight in your bed, your blankets dishevelled and a look of confusion plastered on your face. "no way," you gawked at your phone screen and ran your fingers through your hair to try and comprehend what had just happened.

"there's really no reason to be shouting at 7 in the morning." you brushed your sister's comment off, the older girl taking it as a sign to join you on the edge of your bed to see what had gotten you all riled up.

she let out a heavy sigh as she moved you over so that she could sit with you. "speak woman. I don't have all day."

you took a breath and turned to look at her, eager eyes staring you down for any sort of explanation you could give her. "Okay so basically I just woke up and obviously my first instinct is to check my insta and twitter notifications because I got a bunch."

she gave you a look. "which isn't anything new. probably just a few followers or something."

you pointed your index finger in her direction. "exactly. but then--"

you turned your phone in her direction, your twitter feed showing up. "--I saw that I was being tagged like crazy. only to realise that this whole liverpool pr thing is blowing up."

maya gave you another look. as if you to say 'what did you expect?'. she began to get up from the bed but you quickly caught her wrist and pulled her back down again, urging her to stay for the rest of the story.

"jamie," she sighed. "you have an entire fanbase, of course they're going to go crazy over something like this."

you shook you head. "that's what I thought. but then I decided to go check my instagram notifications because apparently..."

you turned your phone screen to maya, displaying your follower list and lo and behold right at the top, your most recents followers queued up.

"what the fuck?!"

you jumped up at your sister's reaction. "that's what I'm saying!"

jude bellingham was one thing. but the entire liverpool squad?? there was no reason for that to happen at all. you were just some random twitch streamer on the p.r team, nothing more.

was it because I kicked the ball on monday?? it was so because I kicked that ball on monday.

you weren't going back to the training center for a while though. there were too many errands to run and meeting to sit through. and today's meeting at 10 was sure to pile even more projects on your table.

the match on saturday against wolves was going to be a premier league match so a lot of preparation had to be done for the interviews. yesterday's meeting already gave you a headache so today was going to be something for sure.

"is jamie not coming in today as well?" curtis asked no one in particular while his eyes roamed the hallways, yet there was no sight of the girl anywhere.

from beside him, trent quirked an eyebrow and nudged his arm. "you're on a first name basis already huh? you work fast."

curtis scoffed at his comment, recalling mpnday afternoon's events all to clearly after jaimie had left. "hey I'm not the one who stalked all her socials the second she left."

"what?" trent raised his hands in defence. "she looked familiar so I had to check."

"who looked familiar?"

the two jumped up at the sudden question, their glares shot at dominik who had pushed in beside trent who only shook his head, not bothering to brush off dominik's arm that was slung over his shoulders.

"the new p.r girl," he answered and put his phone away.

"jamie?"

trent shot him a weird look and then to curtis who was smiling from ear to ear with an 'I told you so' look. "what so you're all just on a first name basis? how did that even happen?"

the conversation carried on until they got to the field and even during their warm-up session. but it still seemed off to trent who grew more an more confused whenever someone chimed in with an "are you talking about jamie?"

it didn't make sense to him. they barely knew her or had any decent conversations. what difference did asking about where she was from or how many siblings she had make? but either way, the team wondered why trent has such a big issue with it.

"did you guys know that jamie's a twitch streamer?"

"what the hell?" trent groaned in obvious frustration when ibou chimed in while they were doing their laps around the field.

"what? are you just going to call her 'ms carter' for the rest of your life?" ibou asked again with a low chuckle which got a small shrug from trent.

"obviously not. it's just that she's a staff member and has a job to do." he turned his head to look at curtis who seemed fed up either the mini lecture that he was getting, but he felt that it needed to be said.

"she's not here to be your friend or--"

"--I fully agree with you trent. I'm glad some of us have common sense," harvey retorted out of nowhere.

seriously. they didn't even know he was there. the smallest of the group was adorning a look of determination as he jogged alongside his teammates. one that screamed, 'I hate jamie carter.'

ibou scoffed from beside him. "oh shut up. you're just mad because she's taller than you."

the group couldn't hold back their laughter as they watched harvey go quiet, a look of defeat on his face as she shook his head to the side. he'd get her back. one day.

but with trent's issue, everyone's argument was that they were just trying to make her feel comfortable. and he could give them the benefit of the doubt there, he knew how fans tended to react to situations like this and their presence in general was probably a lot to her.

but there was no reason to be involved with her personally. okay so what if he was the first one to follow her on Instagram?? when dominik saw that he was stalking her account his first instinct was to take trent's phone and follow her, just to tease him.

but then everyone followed her so that was kind of pointless.

after a bit more back and forth banter curtis let out a sigh. "but either way, she's friends with jude in a way or something." he gave trent a cheeky smile and the right back couldn't help but roll his eyes, knowing very well where he was leading with this.

"and any friend of jude, is a friend of mine," he finished and put his hand on his chest causing ibou to laugh but oh boy he wasn't finished just yet.

curtis took a moment to clear his throat and looked behind their group to see dominik running along with darwin and cody, laughing about what ever.

"if this is like any movie I've watched, then someone is walking out with more than just a premier league trophy."

that earned him a harsh slap on the arm from ibou but he didn't care and instead ran up in front of trent, now taking the liberty to jog backwards to take him head on. "what do you say? are you going to keep that 'ms carter' thing up until she becomes mrs alexander-arnold"?

"boys!"

everyone immediately halted at the sound of virgil's voice booming from the front with robbo and salah. "am I going to have to chase you to make you run any faster?"

you sat in the meeting room that afternoon with your laptop in front of you and your attention drawn to the front where the projector was with the media teams director, marvin colesmen.

he was a a slender man no older than 40, with blonde hair that was styled to the side. he wore a polo shirt underneath his blazer with a very obnoxious pair of socks as well.

"regarding our performance, we're doing fairly well but there's much room for improvement. but let's all thank clara for the last minute camera replacement last week since the last one broke."

everyone at the table immediately turned to look at someone who you remembered to be shaun. all he did was roll his eyes, and judging by the death glares he was receiving he definitely broke that camera.

mental note: don't break anything. ever.

"ms carter?"

your head snapped to the front at the call of your name, a bubble of anxiety filling your stomach now that you were put on the spot.

"do you have any thoughts on anything I've said?"

thoughts?? I don't have any thoughts??

"uhm..." you sat upright in your chair as you trailed off to formulate a response. "I think that more attention should be drawn to the team's more laid back promotional content."

great answer.

marvin tipped his head to the side at the response in intrigue. "care to elaborate?"

not really.

you licked your lips as you thought. "coming from a supporter, the occasional training video and interview don't really attract attention."

you watched as marvin urged you on with a nod. "and I think we should expand our content to something more entertaining. it'll be more rewarding for them team that way as well, I'm sure they're tired of answering the same questions every other week," a small laugh left your lips but you immediately stopped.

the room was dead silent and the atmosphere was a little too hostile for your liking. it was obvious that everyone was waiting for marvin to either shoot you down mercilessly or agree with you. but the experience was nothing short of terrifying.

the director nodded his head and continued to mutter something to himself before sending you a smile. "I'm giving you a week to come up with entertaining alternatives. if you convince me enough, I'll give you what you need since you'll be with the team from next week onwards unless I need you. you'll be joining them on the trip to molineux saturday morning as well. I'm sure the fans wouldn't mind seeing you in the booth either."

what's that supposed to mean?

when the meeting was finally over you didn't waste a second and rushed to pack your things and get in your car. you needed to hurry if you wanted to miss the rush hour traffic but of course you were wrong and sat in the car for an extra 40 minutes. lovely.

by the time you got back home, you felt as if every bit of energy had be drained from your body. you dropped your keys onto the counter in front of the door and kicked off your shoes.

"jamie?"

you let out a groggy "yeah" and dragged yourself to the kitchen where your sister was finishing up supper. you didn't say much and took your usual seat on one of the barstools and rested your head on your arm.

"so," maya poked your head. "how was work?"

as an answer you gave her a mumbled run down of your day, and by the time you were done the only words she heard were "broken camera".

she let out a hum regardless to show that she was paying attention and continued to stir the pasta in the pan. "well a kid fell down the slide today. I know I'm the teacher but I still laughed."

you couldn't help but cough up a laugh at her sudden confession. you looked up at her with a smile and she slumped her shoulders. "I just hope no one saw."

by the time you had gotten out of the shower. finished your night routine and ate dinner you were surged with a sudden burst of energy and needed to get it out. after a bit of scrolling through your socials and interacting with your followers and a much-needed poll on instagram, you decided to start a twitch stream.

and boy did it lead somewhere.

[whore-ibly-hot]

How would Mr. Critch, Mr. Murphy, Evan, and Carter react to Y/n getting sick?

(love your boarding school btw❤️)

(also I'm sick with a cold😫)

ARGHAHAHAHGG7RURH I LOVE SICK FICS!

Mr. Critch: He'd be extremely cross with you, what nerve of you to skip his class, is it because you think your special, being the head masters kid? He pulls Harrison aside, and demands the boy tell him why you aren't present. When Harrison explains, he scolds him harshly for not having you 'quarantined'. He quickly moves you to the nurses ward, wanting you to be away from contaminating others and full focused on making up the work you are missing. Still, he's oddly doting. He makes sure you're eating healthy, checking your fever and assuring you stay alongside him. He wants you obedient. He knows what's best, just let him treat you. He'll keep track of all your medicines, and the moment you're better he promises you can go back to your room with Harrison. He enjoys this quiet time with you, and a part of him, the one who reads to you while you try and sleep, wishes to imagine this moment as domestic.

"The fever should be breaking soon, it's okay." He dabs at your forehead. "I'll find a way to get you cleaned up after. I promise." He assures.

Carter: Much like Mr. Critch, he's strict about what you can do. As class president, it's his duty to prevent an outbreak. He'll bring you to the nurses office, and ensure you keep up with your studies. He's more condescending, constantly reminding you of how kind he's being, taking time out of his day to care for you when he could be working. You should be able to care for yourself, he'd say, but when you'd send him away, he'd refuse to go. He takes a little extra time 'diagnosing' you, it would help him for biology class, he claimed. He'd run his hands over your neck and shoulders, touching your chest and working his way down. He'd gently feel your head for fever.

"What?" He scoffs, looking at you with annoyance. "The nurse is far too busy to give you the treatment you need, I'm making sure you aren't worsening. Lift your shirt a bit, let's just continue the exam."

Evan: He's pissed. He just got out of a great fucking game, and you weren't even in the crowd, not even for Harrison. His cock was aching, he'd planned to drag you to the after party and get his dick into you, but you didn't show. He'll practically kick down your door, and he's quick about it once he realizes you're sick. He doesn't want Harrison being a bitch and trying to keep you in his room. He gets you to his dorm, gives you some cough syrup and an edible he snagged from Pez, to keep you mellow. If he can't fuck you, he's at least going to keep you around. You're still got, even with a red face and stuffy nose. He won't exactly be doting, you'd have to ask two or three times before he'd get you anything but water, but he does like the feeling of control he's got over you. He'd put on a movie and keep you on his lap, assuring you he's not gonna get sick. Let him kiss you while your sleepy, let him grope you while he changes you from your uniform to one of his oversized jerseys. And most importantly, he expects you to care for him when he gets sick from swapping spit with you.

"God, you're burning up. Good thing I brought you in here, huh? Wouldn't want that shit head roommate leaving you to suffer alone in your room when you got a big strong stud here to look after your sick ass." He groans, adjusting you so your head lays across his chest.

Mr. Murphy: Absolute caring bear man, you're immediately moved to wherever you feel safest, preferably his apartment at the school, but the nurses office or your own dorm works. If you choose his apartment, he'll be thrilled at spending the time with you, even though seeing you as a sick little thing makes his chest ache. He'd stand over the stove for hours, digging through old recipe cards from his mom. He's usually more of a meat and potatoes guy, but he'll try his mommas soup and roll recipes, just for you. He makes sure you take your medicine, but nothing you don't want to take. He refuses to let you think about your school work, and insists he'll excuse you and talk to Critch (he thinks that guy has a major stick up his ass). He's got the coziest place by far, thick quilts and a cozy plaid couch.

"Easy, kid, easy." You're desperate to chug down the soup, but he's pacing you. "If you do throw up cause of this bug you've got, that's fine, but I'd rather my cooking not be the cause. You've got all the time in the world to eat it, and I'll always make more if you want." He takes a spoonful from his bowl. "Don't make me feed ya now." He teases.

[storiesofsvu]

Solace in Solitude

Emily Prentiss x reader warnings: language, alcohol mentioned, smut! dirty talk, minor insecurity if you squint. If you haven't voted or what series I do next go do that! Though we all know Emily's gonna win... LOL. I do really want to write that one next but I also kinda wanna take a break from Em for a bit to branch out, not that I'm sick of her lol. We'll see what happens lol.

Neither of you were entirely sure how you’d gotten here.

It was an exceptionally hot weekend for almost being October, too hot to stay in the stuffy apartment with no air conditioning. In search of cooler air you’d ended up at a different bar, one with a very different vibe from your usual pub, one where heat wasn’t the only thing coursing through the air. You couldn’t pinpoint the moment when it happened but a few rounds of drinks and a handful of shots later Emily had you pinned to the wall in an alleyway on the way back to the apartment, her knee slotted between your legs as your lips chased hers for another kiss.

“You’re not the only one who needs to get laid Carter.” She husked, her teeth scraping down the column of your neck.

“I’m not fucking you in an alley.” You managed back between airy breaths and Emily chuckled, hand wrapping around your wrist to drag you back to the apartment.

The door was barely locked by the time Emily’s fingers were sneaking under the hem of your shirt, tickling up your skin before she tugged it over your head and it found home on the floor. Her hand cupped the back of your head, pulling you in for another heated kiss, her tongue easily slipping into your mouth as you moaned, fingers slipping into the belt loops of her shorts. You backed your way into your bedroom, lips dancing against hers, quiet moans escaping both of you. An arm wrapped around Emily’s waist and you turned her until the backs of her knees hit the edge of the bed. A small squeak escaped her lips as you broke the kiss, nudging her backwards while your lips traced down the side of her jaw.

“What?” You asked, nipping her skin softly, “you said you wanted to get off too.” Your hands tickled at the skin between her tank and shorts before they froze, “unless you changed your mind?”

“No,” She breathed out nudging at you to get you to continue sucking at her neck, her fingers wrapped around your wrist, guiding you away from the hem of her shirt, “just…leave it on.” She directed your hand to the buckle of her belt instead and you hummed in understanding.

Nipping at the crook of her neck, your tongue laved across the bite when Emily hissed softly and you placed a gentle kiss on the mark before sucking at her skin. Your hands swiftly made work of her belt, undoing her shorts and pushing them down her legs. She let out a groan when you cupped at her through her panties, her hips rocking toward the touch as pleasure surged through her, desperate to feel more.

“Don’t fucking tease.” She murmured and you laughed, pulling yourself away from her neck as your hands gently shoved at her hips.

“Then lie back and take those off.”

Emily dropped down onto the bed, fingertips slipping into the band of her panties to shove them down her legs, watching as you quickly ditched your own shorts, climbing onto the bed to capture her lips in another kiss. This one even more heated than the last as Emily’s hand tangled into your hair, keeping you close to her, tongue rolling against yours as her other hand easily undid your bra. Once the fabric had dropped from your skin her free hand began to toy with you, rolling your nipples, pinching them softly, pulling little moans and whines from you, muffled by the kiss.

Your hand squeezed at her thigh, fingers beginning to dance across her soft skin, tracing higher and higher with each rotation. She let out an impatient whine into the kiss and you smirked, nipping at her lip when she attempted to pout in frustration. Your hand cupped between her legs and her head fell back into the pillows when she let out a satisfied groan, her body tingling with pleasure. The heel of your hand lightly ground against her clit while your fingers started to trail through her folds, slipping in just enough to coax out her juices.

“Fuck…” Emily muttered beneath you, her breath picking up as her hips began to rock in time with your movements. You let out a prideful chuckle, shifting to sit up and she grabbed at your free arm, clicking her tongue at you, “get back here.”

She dragged you into another kiss, moaning into your mouth as your finger tips pressed into her pussy. Her hips twitched up toward the touch and you finally gave her what she wanted, sinking a single finger inside her, satisfied at the way her body practically melted beneath you. You thrusted a couple of times, your tongue dipping into her mouth at the same pace before you added a second finger and she broke the kiss with a moan.

“Oh god..”

“Relax…” you murmured, your nose nudging her chin so you could kiss down her neck again.

Emily’s hand tangled into your hair, holding you to her body as you continued to pump your fingers, each thrust shooting more pleasure through her. She could feel the sparks flying, soaring further south each time your finger tips brushed past the sensitive spot inside her. She let out a gasp when you suddenly curled your fingers, actually hitting it and she could feel your lips curve up into a sly grin against her skin. Whining softly her hips rocked up into your hand and you began to pump them faster, curling with each thrust and her heart was hammering in her chest. You nipped at the crook of her neck and began to make your way across her collarbone, barely able to leave a gentle kiss on the swell of her chest before the hand she had in your hair was pulling you back up into another kiss.

Her pussy was soaked, each pass of your fingers pulling more juices from her, smearing them across her inner thighs and leaking down your wrist. You could feel the way she was pulsing around you already, the tremors each time your finger tips pressed into her g-spot, her thighs quaking around your arm as her moans got louder and needier. You slowed, pressing into the spongey spot harder and longer this time,

“Oh fuck!”

“You gonna come for me?” You husked, your breath hot on her lips as she panted underneath you, a small nod of her head as her eyes scrunched shut.

Quickly changing the angle of your hand, your thumb found her clit, rubbing circles on it and she moaned loudly, her body tensing as pleasure rocked through it. When you pressed harder on her clit she could feel all of the fire racing into the pit of her stomach, curling tighter and tighter as you began to rub faster, timing it with the thrusts of your fingers. The moment you curled your fingers again she cried out, her pussy clenching down around you as her orgasm shot through her, the hand tangled in your hair tightened, nails scratching at your scalp. Her hips jolted up, thighs shaking as you fucked her through her orgasm until she collapsed into the pillows panting.

“Satisfied?” You asked with a smirk as you sat up, pulling your fingers from her before sucking them into your mouth to clean them off.

“Not until you’re so thoroughly fucked you can’t think.” She shot back, swiftly sitting up so she could flip you onto your back, her legs easily straddling your waist, pinning you to the bed.

Emily’s mouth began quick work on your body, kissing down the column of your neck, biting hard enough to make you hiss but hopefully not hard enough to leave a mark. Her tongue left wet paths over the indentations, mouth sucking at the crook of your neck harder when you moaned, back arching toward the touch. She nipped her way across your collarbone and licked a broad strip up the middle of your chest before her lips wrapped around one of your nipples, sucking it into her mouth.

Your hands easily tangled into her hair, pulling just enough to indicate that she should keep doing what she was doing. Every so often her teeth would dig into your tender skin, her tongue flicking patterns over your nipple while sucking, her hand mimicking her motions on the other side. You let out a gasp when her teeth sunk into the underside of your chest, this one for sure hard enough to leave a mark as she did it again, sucking at the same spot until she was satisfied and repeated everything on the other side.

You could feel the tension leaving your body, practically melting into the bed with each ministration of her tongue or fingers, knowing that this was exactly what you needed and she’d barely even started. Her free hand sunk down your body, tickling its way across your stomach until it landed between your legs, massaging at you through the lace of your panties causing you to let out a needy whine. Emily chuckled against your skin, her eyes darting up to yours, unsurprised to find your head thrown back in the pillows, eyes fluttering. Her fingers snapped at the waistband of your underwear before tugging at them and you were more than quick to help kick them down your legs, baring your pussy to her.

“So wet already.” She teased as her fingers swept through you, causing your hips to jolt up to the touch as you sucked in a heavy breath.

Continuing her movements on your chest, nipping and sucking at the supple skin her hand pushed your legs apart and her fingers easily sunk into your pussy. You moaned at the sensation, hips beginning to roll in the same rhythm that she set, whimpers and quiet groans escaping your lips. She crooked her fingers just right and you gasped, your fingers tightening in her hair.

“Oh fuck!”

“You like that?” She mused, her fingers curling again, pressing right into the spot and you practically whimpered.

“Mmhmm.”

“Good.” She pressed harder before pumping her hand a few more times, her fingers twisting and scissoring inside you before they suddenly disappeared from your cunt and squeezed at your hip, “over.” She slipped off you so you could do as she said, rolling onto your stomach, “where’s the strap?”

“Nightstand.”

She shifted off the bed, finding the toy and quickly assembling it with such expertise that your eyes nearly widened, she certainly did know her way around and what she was doing. She climbed back into the bed with a bottle of lube in her hand, settling between your legs she swatted at your ass and you eagerly popped up on your knees, presenting yourself to her and she hummed in appreciation. You heard the pop of the lube bottle opening before she smeared the toy with it and you gasped, nearly jumping at the coolness of it on such a hot night when she rubbed the tip against your cunt.

“Fuck..”

Emily spanked your clit with her cock a couple of times before thrusting it against your pussy, smearing it with your juices and pulling needy whines and whimpers from you. Her fingers returned to your cunt, spreading it open for her,

“Such a pretty pussy.” She praised, nudging the head of the toy into you, slowly sinking it in until her hips met your body and you let out a low moan.

“Oh my god…”

She dragged it out until just the tip was left still inside your wetness and then quickly thrusted back into you, pulling a breathy gasp from you and you pushed back against her, aching to feel it even deeper. Smirking, Emily braced her hands on your hips, fingers digging into your tender skin so she could set a steady pace, her cock fully plunging into your pussy with each thrust of her hips.

Flickering of fire began in your pussy, pulsing around the toy as heat built further and further through your body, sending a trail of goosebumps across your skin. It prickled just underneath the surface, feeling more and more like it was going to burst with each thrust of her cock. You could feel it down to the tips of your fingers and toes, curling, clenching at the bedspread while Emily continued to fuck you, the occasional thrust so hard it sent you bumping forward.

“Oh- g.. God don’t stop.” You managed, voice mumbled by the pillows and Emily didn’t even think of letting up the pace.

Instead, her hand snuck around you, fingertips finding your clit and she began to rub it in tandem with the pace of her hips. You felt the spark nearly burst inside you, pussy fluttering harder and tighter around the toy as it hit your g-spot with each thrust, juices practically dripping down your thighs. You let out a rather whiny moan, hands digging deeper into the bedspread as you pushed your hips back harder, making sure she was fucking you as deep as she could and she chuckled.

“Come for me.” She panted, pressing onto your clit harder as she rubbed it, “I know you want to, let me see how pretty you are when you come on my cock.”

It didn’t take much more than Emily’s voice husking those words to you for you to completely come apart, your cunt clenching down around her, a cry coming from your throat as your body practically collapsed onto the bed shaking. Emily pulled her slightly pinned hand away from your clit, watching the way your thighs continued to twitch as pleasure tore through your body. Her cock slowly thrusted in and out of you a few more times before it slipped from you and you let out a gentle whine.

“Satisfied?” She asked with a tease and you huffed out a laugh.

“Very.” Your eyes were fluttered shut, attempting to catch your breath but you heard the tell tale sound of the strap undoing, the toy landing on the nightstand to be dealt with later. Emily’s hand gently came to scratch at your scalp and you let out a satisfied hum, your body relaxing further into the bed.

“You okay?” She asked, still rather breathless and you nodded.

“Mmhmm.” You cracked open an eye, looking over at her, “are you?”

“Yeah.” She sucked in a breath, “more work than I remember.”

You laughed this time, propping yourself up on your elbows, “count it as your workout for the week then.”

“If all I have to do to get out of gym sessions is that then sign me up.”

You both laughed, then fell into silence as you both came down from your highs, finally able to catch your breath and relax, praying for the night air breezing in through the window to be cooler than the day was. You had your eyes shut when Emily spoke, her voice nearly hesitant,

“You know… this doesn’t like… change things, right? Like, I don’t like you like that or anything…”

“Not at all.” You mumbled, “just a friend helping a friend.” You extended a hand out to her and while she laughed, she high fived you, “now get out of my bed, I can already feel the heat radiating off your body and I refuse to sweat anymore tonight.”

“Don’t have to tell me twice.” She replied, hopping off the bed to collect her discarded shorts before disappearing through your bedroom door, making sure it was shut behind her before she finally collapsed into her own bed for the night.

_____________________

@mickey-gomez @momlifebehard @daddy-heather-dunbar @maybe-a-humanbean @rustyzebra @leftoverenvy @kades95 @dextur @supercriminalbean @daffodil-heart @its-soph-xx @just-a-torn-up-masterpiece @hopelesslyfallenninlove @peanutbutterprincess @emilyprentisssluvr @lex13cm @zizzlekwum @emobabeyy @riveramorylunar @scorpsik @happenstnces @sapphicprentiss @geekyandgay98 @pagetboobstarcomments @onmykneesformarvel @inlovewithemilyprentiss @desperate-gay @amypoehlfey @overtrred28 @regalmilfs4me @kalixxh @ara-a-bird @five-bi-five-mind @niyizh @inlovewithmiddleagewomen @hotchs-bitch @ollysmulti @kmc1989 @irishavengersassemble @romanoffsho @ratsnestinmyhair @assgardangod @originalbrunettecharacter @hopedoesntknow @dj-bynum3718 @venromanova @waitaminuteashh @noahrex @imlike-so-gaydude @wittygutsy @cx-emerald-cx

[voidvannie]

⋆˚࿔  ꒰ 𝗙𝗜𝗡𝗗𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗢𝗨𝗧 ꒱  𝜗𝜚˚⋆

⋆✩⋆ ─── 🎶and i thank god every day for the girl he sent my way🎶 - beautiful things, benson boone

⋆✩⋆ ─── pairing: jamie drysdale x isabelle hughes

⋆✩⋆ ─── beautiful things masterlist main masterlist

⋆✩⋆ ─── in which . . . belle finds out she's pregnant & has to tell jamie right away!

⋆✩⋆ ─── feel free to send in any request for things you want to see in this series, or in any of the other series on my page. Or if you just want to share some thoughts about what you read, or if you want to talk about oc's!

𝙳𝙴𝙲𝙴𝙼𝙱𝙴𝚁 𝟷𝟽, 𝟸𝟶𝟸𝟻 . ┊

belle grins as she stands in her and jamie's shared bathroom in philadelphia, her camera propped up on the rectangular jewelry box resting in the middle of the two sinks.

"welcome to jamie and i's bathroom. today is. . . ," she trails off, picking her phone off the counter to check the date, "december seventeenth. so, jamie and i have been married for six months, and i think i may be pregnant. i've had pregnancy scares before, but i feel different this time."

"it is super early in the morning, jamie is at the gym with carter and cam so i thought it would be the perfect time to take a pregnancy test." she holds the wrapped test up for the camera to catch it. "i'm gonna pee on this stick and i'll be right back."

"okay, that's done." belle caps the last pregnancy test and sits it back down on the bathroom counter, "i'm really freaking nervous. jamie and i haven't really been trying for babies, but we also haven't done anything to prevent babies from happening. either way, we'll both be excited and happy."

"jack will probably be the most excited out of my brothers, and most likely will throw himself a party. he's always asking me when i'm making him an uncle and i'm sure he has a bet going on with trevor." belle nervously fidgets as she tries to think of anything to keep her mind from wondering. "why did i think this was a good thing to do on my own?"

moments later, the timer that she has set up goes off and she picks the first test up, her jaw dropping as she takes in the small 'pregnant' on the small screen, "holy fucking shit."

flipping the other test over, she jumps in place as they also read 'pregnant', and she holds them up for the camera to see them, "holy shit, i'm pregnant! i'm fucking pregnant! i wanna call my mom but at the same time i want to keep this between jamie and i until i can at least go to the doctor and confirm that i am a hundred precent pregnant."

"jamie should be home in a little bit so the next time you see us, we'll be telling him that he's going to be a dad! okay, i need to calm my nerves down."

the camera view now shows jamie scrolling through his phone on the couch, freshly showered from his morning at the gym with a few of the Flyer's players and with no mind that he was being recorded.

a sigh leaves his lips as he locks his phone, laying it on his leg and throwing his head down onto the back of the couch, "baby! come sit with me on the couch! we can watch a movie!"

a angelic giggle rings through the room before belle moves into the view of the camera, a view of the three pregnancy test tucked away in the pack pocket of her blue jean shorts. "hi."

jamie smiles widely, leaning over to kiss her softly, "hi."

"okay, i know we promised to not be those kinds of couples, but i got you a present for six months of being married." belle smiles warmly at her husband as her hand moves to the back of his neck, gently scratching at his scalp.

"hmm, that feels nice." jamie's eyes slip close for a few second before he opens them back up, turning his head to look over at his wife with a stern expression on his face, "what did i say about just buying me shit? it's my job to surprise you with stuff, not the other way around."

"this is a good surprise, i promise. now, close your eyes and hold your hands out."

"baby, i swear, if this is another one of your tiktok pranks, i'm sleeping on the couch for a week." jamie sighs before doing as she says.

belle takes the test out of her back pocket and places them on his hands, "okay. open."

"holy shit! no fucking way!" jamie jumps up from the couch, pregnancy test hitting the floor as he jumps around, "no fucking way!"

the blonde watches her husband run around their living room before he rushes back over to pick the best up from the floor, his eyes closing over as he made sure he was actually seeing what he was seeing.

"baby, holy shit." jamie sits on his knees in front of belle, forehead resting on her legs as he took the moment in, "you're pregnant. baby, you're fucking pregnant."

"i'm pregnant." she runs her fingers through his hair as tears fill her eyes, one falling from her eye as she blinked. "we'll, it says that i am, but i'm not a hundred percent sold. i made an appointment for the doctor for thursday."

jamie nods, lifting his head up from her knees and bringing his hand up to wipe the tears away from her eyes, leaning forward to kiss her on the lips a few times, i love you's between each one. "i love you."

"i love you."

the video ends with a silent moment between belle and jamie, their foreheads pressed together before the screen goes black and the worlds, "baby drysdale coming 2026" appearing on the screen.

[mcflymemes]

PROMPTS FROM BEYONCÉ'S COWBOY CARTER *  assorted lines from the album, some slightly adapted, adjust as necessary

nothing really ends.

for things to stay the same, they have to change again.

hello, my old friend.

you changed your name, but not the ways you play pretend.

do you hear me?

let me make myself clear.

can you hear me, or do you fear me?

can we stand for something?

now is the time to face the wind.

can you stand me?

this isn't the time to pretend.

they used to say i spoke "too country."

they don't know how hard i had to fight for this.

goodbye to what has been.

you were only waiting for this moment to arise.

i had to leave my home at an early age.

i'm not in my bed.

i gotta choose myself.

i might cook, clean, but still won't fold.

i'm still working on my life, you know.

only god knows.

i got art to make.

i got love to create.

they won't dim my light.

i had to sacrifice and leave my fears behind.

you'll remember me, 'cause we got something to prove.

i will lead you down that road if you lose your way.

i'm born to be a protector.

even though i know someday, you're gonna shine on your own.

i gave water to the soil, and now it feeds me.

there you are, shaded underneath it all.

i feel proud of who i am.

i first saw your face in your father's gaze.

how many times have you let yourself get down?

be fond of your flaws.

i just hope you love yourself like that.

i really hope the best for you.

you're my love, my sweetie pie.

don't let go.

lay your cards down.

i'll be damned if i can't slow dance with you.

don't be a bitch.

there's a heatwave coming at us.

i give you kisses in the backseat.

you make me cry, you make me happy.

just toss it.

they couldn't have me and they never will.

sometimes i hold you closer just to know you're real.

sometimes i take a day off just to turn you on.

i could be your bodyguard.

you should let me ride shotgun.

you know how people like to start shit.

someone better hold me back.

i'm warning you, don't come for my man.

don't take the chance just because you think you can.

the games you play are nothing new.

you don't want no heat with me.

i know my man better than he knows himself.

shoot your shot with someone else.

i'm warning you, woman, find your own man.

i have to have this talk with you.

i really tried to stay cool, but your arrogance disturbed my solitude.

look what you made me do.

if you cross me, i'm just like my father.

you say move a mountain and i'll throw on my boots.

how does it feel to be adored?

think about leaving? hell no.

time moves quickly, and so do i.

i don't need anything.

here's to hoping i'll fall fast asleep tonight.

i need to get through this.

i came here for a reason, but i don't know the purpose.

time heals everything.

i'll be your backseat baby.

been a while since i haven't tried to pull away.

come here, you sexy little thing.

baby, you play too much.

i'm looking super hot.

i'm a fucking animal.

every time you know just what to do.

no one ever got me going quite like you.

girl, i wanna take you home.

they won't be around.

i hope that you know that once i loved you.

history can't be erased.

got you up all night and now you don't wanna leave.

how can a true love go so wrong?

put on a show and make it nasty.

let me sink into your arms.

i died and someone brought me back to life.

i plan to steal your heart again.

who am i to judge?

i will carry on.

baby, i've been waiting my whole life for you.

wherever you wanna go, that's fine with me.

all i see is the best of you.

i'm gonna give you the best years of your life.

you owe me a debt.

i hated you once.

tap me on the shoulder when you reload the gun.

i know they're looking for me.

i fall to pieces each time i see you there.

it don't matter what nobody says.

we can take back roads.

just say what you need from the store.

i'm coming home.

take that shit on the chin.

have mercy on me.

this house was built with blood and bones.

i need to make you proud.