#Carls is set as a lead opposite Melissa… we love to see it

[mikereads]

Mirandy fans wake up a new ship is coming.

[nailtravels]

Wow.

So that just happened. Maybe the mostmilk fun ever. With zero bugs and perfect weather, how can the same festival keep getting better? Sure, the music is great, but it’s about so much more than that. Can it ever reach some kind of ceiling? Maybe not, Grasshopper. Sure, there were Chris Robinson fans, but there were also Umphries fans who drove right past Atlanta, en route to The Spirit of Suwannee Music Park, because that’s just where they had to be. There’s no place better.

Rednecks, hillbillies and hipsters. They came from all over to attend the 2018 Wanee Festival and this year’s mammoth-sized hot air balloon of a party certainly did not fail to impress. After being invited, Corporal Turner politely replied, “That festival is a little fast”, and he was probably spot on. Even without the likes of Luke Sidewalker, the Captain and Clayopheus III, the glorious festavarians found themselves lurking all the way down into the darkest halls of the slickest funk.

All the way down to Chinatown. Welcome to Wanee ’18: It’s time to panic.

Saturday afternoon Peach Stage Wanee Festival 2018

At some point, many people feel the weight of age and responsibility and find it necessary to put down  childish things.  There are others however, who’ve decided to verge from that path and decorate themselves with glitter and feathers.

They are the Wontons. The Watusi of the First Order. They have no trouble playing with  childish things.

When in doubt….twirl.

Even with the bogus paperwork, it’s getting harder to smuggle Lucienda into The Spirit of Suwannee Music Park. They call it progress but it’s looking more like Colorado or Oregon. In those places, hushed voices still decry her an outcast, forever exiled from their private parties. Especially Longmont and it’s unusual brand of stickiness. Usually it wouldn’t be a problem, but after the Luke Sidewalker “incident” at Spring Reunion, a modicum of adult caution can surely be afforded. Between smashed guitars and bail money, these trips are beginning to cost a pretty penny.

It was Melissa’s turn to have some fun. She never claimed to be a prophet, but she knew what kind of party awaited her at Wanee and Live Oak. It was always the most ridiculous and hilarious gathering of fruitcakes ever. Their utterly ludicrice behavior was matched only by their ability to uncontrollably love everyone around them.

She’d predicted that the festival love-meter would be set at 11. No festival can boast more good vibes. Along with a generous helping of Allman brothers originals, Wanee takes great pride in its vibe. The love-meter was definitely pushing into the red and it appeared as though the governor had been removed.

Listen for the crack of the whip. Look under the Thunder Chicken and the Mullet.

Wanee 2018 Highlights:

WSMFP: Friday and Saturday night the Peach Stage turned into a bubbling froth of rock-n-roll stupafunk, as Widespread Panic brought their pounding slather to Live Oak. Double IPAs and good scotch were replaced by Natty Lights and Evan Williams as the Spreadnecks, Spreadheads and even Spreadnexicans took over the camp grounds and danced until their eyes hurt. Listen for the fireworks because it’s only rock music and this place just turned into Fort Sumter. One thing is for certain, Widespread Panic makes girls bounce, grunt and pop. They turn into howler monkeys that bounce around making clicks and funky humming sounds.

Jimmy Herring and John Bell of Widespread Panic. Wanee ’18: photo by J.Nail

J.Nail, Scott and George

Duder and El Dudarino

George and Cassie

A.J. and Karisa

As The Crow Flies

Boone Hillbillies: Jessica said she would never camp next door to hillbillies again after the “trouble” with the Roanoke mafioso a only a few years ago. It had been either Clayopheus III or Darth Waffle who initially planted the dark seed of sin but harsh memories still lingered. Once you’ve picked up with serious mountain people, there’s no telling when things may turn south, but dear Prudence, you can bet your bottom shilling that it’s going to happen. Run off from her own spot at the Poncho Tree by Sabrina and Steve at the Camp Happiness field site, she was poking around the Farm Field, haggard and worn, run off like a red-headed stepchild and looking for a new place to set up camp. Her rainbow would finally curl to the ground at the Farm Field, right in the middle of a group of derelict Boone, North Carolina hillbillies.

Huckleberry wore tie-dyed green overalls as he took a snort from the jug. When it was warm, he donned the shorts overalls and likely had several more in reserve. He and his woman Dewdrop, who was also known to pull a cork, had some kind of matching flower tattoos that made a picture when they pushed their necks together. They were definitely from North Carolina. You could smell the moonshine and see the gummies stuck in their tooth when they spoke up close. Their posse brought cute girls with them from App. State, but the only skin anyone would see would be A.J.’s butt cheeks as he used the area next to our camp for his water closet. He relieved himself just outside of his tent in what would be called a side yard, or at the very least, a commons, and we subsequently used the area for the same end. The only casualty was poor Smitty, whose tent was pitched in the depressed ravine between the two camps.

He woke up screaming profanities as warm urine trickled through his thinning hair. The altercation that ensued left one hillbilly with a barbecue skewer sticking out of his quadricep and another peeling melted plastic from his skin after his camping chair was knocked into the fire. The moonshine ignited into billowing black smoke that got the attention of a lady policeman who broke up the fight. She had worked security with Hambone at Telluride and stayed around for some boiled peanuts and PBRs. Before it was over she’d traded her handcuffs and a confiscated five strip to Lefty for an angry hand job. Things were f’sho getting ridiculous and that was before the homeless girl showed up.

Baitbucket had always been attracted to homeless girls, ever since Denver and the one who lived in tunnels. This girl didn’t live in tunnels and she wasn’t even homeless, but she did work in a homeless shelter and that was good enough for union work. Sometimes you can just tell that a girl used to have dreadlocks.

Jessica used to think she was making friends at festivals, but these people were never going to amount to friends. They don’t call it the “Wanee Family” for nothing.

So this just happened. Wanee 2018: photo by George Rodgers

The Gay Dolphin: Much Wanee love goes out to the proprietors of the best bar in the Hidden Woods. Serving oysters and gumbo during the day, ginaritas in the afternoon and gin and tonics in the early, early morning. It’s quite a hike toward the river but this out of the way nook has a 2-6 am happy hour can’t be beat. Find Beth the bartender for late night cordials.

Their late-night fire circle music was one of the tastiest scenes around. Thanks to Ed on vocals, Mike on slashing lead guitar and CJ on drum bucket. We’re proud to announce that the talented Maren is the newest nailtravels intern. Look for her stellar photography in upcoming articles. Check out Mike’s shop at Dixie Workshop Inc. for all your custom kitchen needs. Whether it’s computerized design, woodworking, molding or furniture, let them be your first stop for high end custom cabinetry. It’s pretty fancy stuff, but you’re worth it.

Thug Life: Jessica had been doing so well. Although a complete chemical toilet, she’d managed to hold it together from Wednesday until Saturday. Things began going south as she teamed up with Charlotte County crackers long enough to take several snorts from their jug of crotch whiskey. Just before the Carl Benson set, she began complaining of hot flashes and broke into a foamy sweat. Melissa tried to drag her away from the coach and out into the dirt road so she wouldn’t get her sick anywhere important, but after all attempts failed, Jessica dropped her head into her lap and vomited out her crotch whiskey and purple ringers.

Thanks to the common Gainesville street criminals for contributing the breakfast espressos and caramels. Saturday dn Sunday breakfast also contributed greatly to the overall continued success of the entire group. Y’all are definitely what’s referred to as “upper stock”.

Thanks to nailtravels contributing photographer, George Rodgers for lending his eye to the project. It was a pleasure to finally see our credentials being used to take quality concert photographs. You are the wind beneath my wings.

Remember, if he’s carrying a new bag and wearing clean New Balance shoes, then he’s a cop dressed as a hippy. We’re not trying to be rude, but you gosta go.

E A Sy Thug Life: Wanee 18: photo by George Rodgers

In between flasks of crotch whiskey and Pigeons Playing Ping Pong, there must be time for an gyro. Nutrients are a real thing and if you don’t take care of yourself, you’re going to be useless to the rest of us. Think about it.

Wanee Restroom Guidelines:

Put your bracelet on the opposite hand from which you wipe.

Bring baby wipes for ultimate freshness and hippy baths.

The adult diaper section of the store also has extra large wipes.

Your best chance for warm water is either four in the morning or four in the afternoon.

The showers toward the river and in the loop are lovely and offer more hot water.

Take a hippy bath in the Suwannee River.

Vaping is Science.

Darkstar Orchestra on the Peach Stage. Wanee ’18: photo by J.Nail

“Mushroom Madness”

Marcus King. Wanee 18: photo by J.Nail

Tips to Making Friends with Your Neighbors:

Introduce Yourself: Before you try to sell anyone a poster, visit and have a little fellowship.

Contribute: Chicken thighs, burnt pig bone, guitar music or firewood. It takes a village to raise a party. Everyone had something to offer. Maybe your job is just to lend a little harmony. Thanks for showing up.

Be Courteous: Everyone understands that the rules that apply to family camping are different when piling together into the forest. That being said, there is a limit to how much late-night Club Boca anyone wants. Go ahead and let your freak flag fly, but know that if you get too amplified in the wee hours of the night, you may get a visit from a Florida Moose. This doesn’t end well for you, my precious.

Share: The last thing you want is to leave a pile of warm chicken for the Chihuahuas. It’s worse than finding beer and food coupons in your pocket once you get home. Break everything out and use it with the people around you. Likely, they will do the same thing and you’ll put together a stone soup. And why can’t a Bloody Mary have a cheese puff? Maybe you need to check it out.

Phil Lesh on the Peach Stage. @Wanee ’18: photo by J.Nail

Phil Lesh and the Terrapin Family Band: The Grateful Dead bassist continues to stomp the living hell out of jam band rock tunes. Dropping bombs hither and yon, his Terrapin Family Band came through with a severe layer of pump and bump and a tasty West LA Fade Away and the Rippin’ Ripple, which was a severely sassy way to end the show. Find ol’ boy Steve and Mr. Larose next time you’re listening to Phil drop bombs everywhere and looking for someone with which to frolick.

Gary and Shannon

Dumpsta Sugar Phunk Magic

Smitty, Ted and Moose

Nice lids yo.

Dimples Dyes. Wanee ’18: photo by J.Nail

As The Crow Flies

Melissa and Jessica

Wanee ’18: photo by George Rodgers

Darkstar Orchestra at Wanee 18: photo by J.Nail

Thomas and Moose in their pajamas,

Chris Robinson Brotherhood

Friends and Family: Thanks to all the folks who spent the festival working while the rest of us trickled lazily through the meadows and forests trails. The first stop we always make is to Jade at her traveling wearable art  boutique. A Bazaar Universe is the perfect stop for some soft wrist warmers and droopy hats. Check out her Facebook page and take a look at her wares. She is so awesome. When you’re done there, also visit Dimple’s Dyes and check out her beautiful creations on her website and Facebook. Remember, cowboys are fascinated by hippy girls.

Be sure to visit the The Allman Brothers Band Museum at the Big House. It’s where the Allman Brothers Band, their roadies, friends and families lived from 1970 to 1973. Visit their website or ramble down highway 41 and walk the hallowed grounds of the band that shaped the music industry and are credited with being the forefathers of “Southern Rock”.

Chris Robinson Brotherhood. Wanee 2018: photo by J.Nail

Chris Robinson Brotherhood/As the Crow Flies:  Blessed be to Scott for dragging everyone away from the fire and reminding us that Chris Robinson was playing on the Peach Stage. Sometimes the fire breathes you. Welcome to the world of the prolapsed sand dollar. The Chris Robinson Brotherhood on Friday and As The Crow Flies on Saturday was a combined treat for the masses. The hippy funk of Friday’s show was a super pleasure, especially with keyboardist Adam MacDougall with his touches on everything from Dylan and Parliament Funkadelic to psych rock and Chicago rhythm & blues. Soooo Good.

Typical Wanee Directions:

I’ll be the first one here. Look for me.

We’re in the back of the loop.

We’re by the lake, next to David.

We’re in the bat field.

Look for the tapestries.

Look for the blinking lights.

We’re right behind the Grateful Dead flag.

Look under the Thunder Chicken.

Look for me lying unconscious next to my van.

Look for me sleeping under a tarp.

Look for me peeing in a hammock

I’ll be the last one here. Look for me.

As we move ever close to the environmental consciousness of festivals like Telluride and Rockygrass, we’re starting to see more advocacy groups devoting their time to Wanee. WWALS is a nonprofit educational corporation advocating for watershed conservation and stewardship of the Withlacoochee, Willacoochee, Alapaha, Little and Suwannee Rivers. Mad props to WWALS Watershed Coalition, Inc. for their work with the Alapaha River Water Trail and the First Annual Suwannee Riverkeeper Songwriting Contest. These are perfect reasons to get involved. Visit their website for upcoming outings and events or email them at wwalswatershed@gmail.com and contact@suwanneeriverkeeper.org.

Darkstar Orchestra. Wanee 18

“Help or get some.”

Cameron was plum tuckered out when he dropped into his love-wagon and headed toward Gainesville. His wrists were draped with bracelets and the dusty windshield was cracked and covered with parking stickers from this and other festivals. A hot shower was in his future where he would give a serious scrubbing to his feet and nails. It would take more than a few days to get those Wanee feet clean. He had, after all, slept under his car for no apparent reason.

Good job Wanee for picking up all your festavarian gear once again. The Culture of Wanee lives! Except for a delicous gross of Mardi Gras beads, there were few ground scores to be had, as usual. Park employees such as Matt (i.e. Toe-mas, Glimmer Man) were quick to applaud the efforts of the attendees again this year. It’s so nice to play with professionals.

Thanks to Wanee Festival for inviting nailtravels to be part of the action. It’s still the best party around. Thanks to The Spirit of Suwannee Music Park for providing a sense of place that transcends everything else. With Suwannee River Jam and Purple Hatters Ball on the horizon, it doesn’t have to be so long between trips.

  Remove your love governor.

Wanee Festival ’18: It’s Time To Panic Wow. So that just happened. Maybe the mostmilk fun ever. With zero bugs and perfect weather, how can the same festival keep getting better?