#Can't shake an instinctual distress and can't shake the repeated images of worse and worse scenes in my head from it | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

vamptastic · 3 months ago

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apologies in advance to anybody else who is emetophobic. anyway the accursed beasts (my dogs) threw up like a gallon of water on the floor and also some undigested grass. which is really cool. and really fun to help clean up. and i stepped in it barefoot accidentally which made me momentarily feel as if i was trapped in the stomach of a whale. And I will now have disgusting intrusive imagery of it in my head for the next couple days even though the actual thing was not that gross

#emetophobia #I'm at least beyond panic attacks of this stuff (at least when animals do it) but the intrusive thoughts #(sorry if that's inaccurate by the way but it's the closest term i know- they're like Sticky and deeply distressing)#don't seem to really be getting better #Seriously this literally just looked like a puddle of piss with grass in it like it wasn't even bad I just #Can't shake an instinctual distress and can't shake the repeated images of worse and worse scenes in my head from it #I don't like. Have OCD but the type of intrusive thoughts featuring upsetting imagery is really close to how this is for me #I also still freak out and have to leave if someone TALKS about throwing up even though them actually just doing it isn't so bad #I think it's like the dread and anticipation of it that makes it more panic inducing #Idk. I would like to just Get Over This and be an average level of bothered by it but the imagery part just won't go away #Even though my ability to like be around and clean up the actual substance has improved by having pets #Idk if I'd even call it a phobia anymore since the panic attacks mostly went away and I don't do anything special to avoid it

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