#Can't remember what I used to fight for i rewind the tape but all it does is pause | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

frenchkisstheabyss · 6 months ago

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⛧𝙽𝚊𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚊𝚕 𝙱𝚘𝚛𝚗 𝙺𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝙸𝙸𝙸⛧

⛧ Pairing: poly!slasher!minsung x chubby!fem!reader

⛧ Genre: slasher au/horror/fluff/angst

⛧ Summary: It's been two weeks since that fateful night your crushes revealed their killer hobby to you. You promise yourself you'll never look back but your ties to each other can't be severed so easily. Especially not when your own gruesome urges begin to creep in and an unexpected visitor gives you the perfect opportunity to set them free. Do you have it in you to resist or are you destined to return to them?

⛧ Word Count: 2.1k-ish

⛧ Warnings: horror elements, masturbation (f w/ vibrator), blood, violence (none between you 3 though. you psychos love each other too much), someone breaks into reader's house w/ short fight scene after, erotic homicidal urges, dead bodies, strong language, you become a killer bby girl, suggestive convos, everyone gets kinda sentimental, & that's all.

⛧ A/N: I'm such a spooky girl at my core (it's where my writing roots are) so it's been fun writing this dark comedy/romance and I love you forever if you're joining this quite odd ride with me.

Also thank youuu @imperfectlyperfectprincess1 and @lxsunshine for asking to be tagged! I've never really had a tag list but if anyone else wants to be, totally let me know! 🖤

💀 <<< Rewind to Tape 1 <<< 💀

Somewhere along the way your wires got crossed. You could blame it on Han and Minho for what they did but that’d be unfair wouldn’t it? What they uncovered in you—the same darkness lurking within themselves—has alway been here and it refuses to be buried again. But you try.

It’s been a long 15 minutes soaking in this bath with one leg draped over the side of the tub and your waterproof vibrator buzzing away beneath the lilac bubbles. Music plays in your headphones, ambient tunes meant to melt the tension from your body. Squeezing your eyes shut you try—you really try—to chase off intrusive visions of two sickeningly handsome psychopaths. You don’t want to remember what you saw that night but the picture’s so clear in your head that it might as well be playing out in front of you all over again.

For the few seconds that you manage to shake the thought, your vibrator feels useless. It hums against your walls with all the enjoyment of a leg that’s fallen asleep. But when the image snaps back into frame—them standing there in nearly nothing, blood dripping down their bodies—it feels heavenly. The pleasure travels through you in pulses, spreading further out the longer you indulge in your memories.

This isn’t right. You have to stop. You know you do. So do it. You can’t. Lie to yourself all you want but this is what you need. Water splashes onto the floor as your leg slips into the tub, moans dancing freely from your lips. Your heart thumps like a techno beat, battling the light music in your headphones for dominance.

The pressure in your lower belly overtakes you, dangerously close to erupting. Crashing into your high, your eyes fall open and you’re met with a face you haven’t seen in months. You open your mouth to scream but a hand is already around your throat, dragging you out of the bathtub.

“Where’s my brother?” the man shouts, the dim lighting in the bathroom only partially concealing a face twisted with rage.

You claw at his hands, nails slicing through his skin like razors. He grunts, gripping his bloody hand, and tosses you across the floor. A framed picture crashes to the floor as you hit the wall with a thud, your ears ringing at the impact. Turning to lunge at you again, he trips on the soaking wet bath mat and falls at your feet. You latch onto the toilet, struggling to pull yourself up when you’re still covered in bubbles.

“I know you know something! So tell me!” he demands, catching you by the ankle. He uses all of his strength to drag you down but you’re too slippery to hold onto.

“I don’t know where your fucking brother is!” you scream, grabbing onto the toilet tank. Tucking your fingers under the lip of the heavy lid, you pull at it as hard as you can.

“You’re lying! Either tell me what happened or I’ll make you, you fucking bi—”

Ding! You swing around and crack him in the head with the porcelain lid. He stares up, not particularly at you, his gaze empty. Everything goes dark for him, blood gushing down his head, and he’s down. High off of adrenaline, you toss on your robe and run for the phone at the end of the hall. Hands shaking, tears running down your cheeks, you pick it up to call the cops. But something stops you.

Instinct takes over and your fingers are already dialing the new number. You wipe the tears from your cheeks and find yourself fixated on the bloody skin under your nails. The line rings so many times that you almost think no one will answer.

“My baby!” Han cheers on the other end of the call, taking a deep breath to calm himself down. “I missed you.”

There’s some shuffling followed by Minho’s voice, “We missed you!”

You flick the skin from under your nails, smiling to yourself. “Hi boys,” you sniffle, knowing there’s no turning back, “I missed you too. You wouldn’t happen to be, uh, busy tonight would you?”

Minho feels like an old man who can’t get his dick up. It might actually be easier if he were. At least then there’d be a pill to fix what he’s going through. Ever since you walked out that door both he and Han have had the worst dry spell they’ve ever experienced. The only dry spell they’ve ever experienced. The last body they touched was your ex’s. They threw it, every last piece of it, somewhere no one would ever find him and left it at that. It just wasn’t fun anymore.

Detectives call what they’re going through a “cooling off” period. It’s the time between murders when a serial killer returns to their normal lives, biding their time until they can kill again. Poking his spoon around in a bowl of soggy cereal, a pouty Minho doubts that’ll happen any time soon. “I hate this!” he whines, kicking his feet up on the coffee table.

Han pushes his legs away, flopping down beside him on the couch, “Get your feet off my coffee table.”

“Meh meh meh meh meh meh meh” Minho mocks, deflating when it hits him that he can hardly enjoy picking on Han anymore.

Han scooches closer to Minho, offering him a shoulder to lay his head on. Minho takes it, feeling Han’s sadness without having to see the heartbroken look on his face. No matter how much he teases him, Han’s his best friend. They’re brothers. They understand each other like no one else can and he knows how badly Han hoped you would too.

“You wanna go to the medical history museum tomorrow?” Minho asks, calling upon all of his cuteness to make Han happy.

Han doesn’t answer but exhales a “Hmm…” that signals he might be interested.

Minho bats his eyelashes, laying it on heavy, “Come on, they have the world’s largest collection of human skulls. You know you love good head. I mean, no, wait, that didn’t…shit.” Han hangs his head, laughing so hard it makes him wheeze. “Why would you say that? Just why?”

Minho sits up, elbowing him in the side, “Fuck you. I was trying to cheer you up.”

Han throws his arms around Minho, hugging him tightly, “Stop sulking! I’ll go! Who needs a girl when you have the world’s largest collection of human skulls, ya know?”

Minho narrows his eyes, resisting the urge to fight against the hug just this once. Deep down inside, really deep, he loves it. “Exactly” he huffs, “Women are a distraction anyway. We’re better off without her.”

Ring! Ring! Ring! The sound of the phone sucks all of the air from the room and their stomachs collectively sink. In record time they’re halfway across the room, pushing each other out of the way to check the caller ID. Your name flashes on it and Han snatches it up just as Minho’s fingers graze the buttons.

Han answers the phone, almost too excited to contain himself, “My baby!” Minho folds his arms, quietly judging Han for being such a dork about this.

“I missed you” Han says, lower this time, his back turned to Minho.

What happened to not needing you? What happened to being better off without you? Oh, fuck it.

Minho steals the phone, blushing so hard his ears turn red, “We missed you.”

A minimum of six traffic laws were broken when the boys realized something had happened to you. Of course you couldn’t tell them the incriminating details over the phone. Luckily, hearing you cry was more than enough for them to stop everything and speed across the city to check on you. They really only cared about seeing you again but the presence of a possibly dead body doesn’t hurt.

In your second stroke of luck tonight, if you can call it that, you’re positive no one knows he’s here. There’s nothing on him to track him by. He came only with the tools he used to break in and a taser he no doubt intended to use on you. And there won’t be any fuss from your downstairs neighbor. She hasn’t been able to hear since 1982. All that’s left is the matter of what to do with him.

Gathered in your bathroom, the three of you stand over the body carefully watching for signs of life. Han and Minho glance at each other behind your back. They’re both wondering the same thing but don’t know how to ask. They play a quick game of rock, paper, scissors. Han’s rock and he hates that for himself. Minho’s paper and he’s never been happier. Minho mouths, “Loser” and Han flips him off.

“Baby” Han says sweetly, holding your hand, “Were you and this guy, like…”

You stare at him, happy to be holding his hand but genuinely confused, “Were we?” Reading the room, you pick up on what they mean. “No, no, no! Never! This…” you say, kicking the motionless body, “Is my ex’s shithead brother. He broke in cause he wants to know where his brother is.”

Minho shrugs, pulling the belt to your bathrobe out, “Let’s make sure they’re reunited then shall we?” He wraps the belt around each hand a few times until there’s tension in the fabric and just enough room to fit a human neck. Minho sits down on the floor, positioning the man’s head in his lap. He’s ready to tighten the belt around his neck but there’s something bugging him. “Do you guys hear that?”

You all listen closely, picking up on a nearly inaudible buzzing. Han follows the sound over to the bathtub where the bubbles have long dissolved and spots the source immediately. He rolls his sleeves up and reaches into the water, pulling out your vibrator.

“Oh my god. Give it here!” you shriek, taking it and switching it off. You toss it in the cabinet under the sink, unable to handle how much they’re obviously loving this. “So, did you come at least?” Minho asks, relaxing his hold on the belt.

“I’m not answering that.”

Han’s studied you enough to tell when you’re lying. “She did! Did you think about us when you did it?”

Minho giggles, far too pleased with himself, “She did.”

“Go to hell!” you snap, getting on your knees beside Minho. You take the belt from him, winding it around your hands the same way that he did. “Show me.”

Your boldness throws them off—this is far from what they were expecting—but they don’t hesitate to guide you. Han joins you on the other side, showing you how to hold the belt properly. Minho checks the pulse before propping the body up for you. It’s weak but it’s there. It feels natural to be doing this together, like the space between them was always meant to be one you’d inhabit.

“Thanks for coming, you guys” you say, seconds from strangling a man, “Most guys won’t even buy me flowers and you risked the electric chair for me. That’s way sweet”

“You’re worth risking the electric chair for” Han coos, kissing you on the cheek.

Minho nods in agreement, kissing you on the other cheek, “Cutie.”

Your cheeks are so warm and you can’t stop yourself from smiling. You’re basically glowing at the love being poured into you. It’s perfect enough that you regret running away from it to begin with but that won’t happen this time.

“Aah!” the man croaks, shooting back into consciousness. He tries to sit up but you use the belt to hold him down, squeezing it as hard as you can around his neck. You lock your legs around him, something they didn’t need to instruct you to do, and hang on until he goes limp. They look at you like they’re terrified of you, afraid to make any sudden movements in case you’re in the mood to come for them too.

Han takes him by the wrist, checking his pulse, “He’s…dead. Holy shit. You killed a guy.”

“I killed a guy?”

“You did! Good girl” Minho applauds, breaking out into a happy dance.

You and Han join him, dancing to totally different songs in your head but celebrating together nonetheless. Han gets up from the floor, dusting himself off, “Now you’ve just gotta chop him up. Got any food in your fridge? I’m hungry.” He wanders off to the kitchen, leaving you and Minho alone in the bathroom.

Minho gets up too, kissing you on the top of the head. “I could use a midnight snack too” he yawns following Han’s lead, “Be careful with the radial artery, love. It bleeds like a bitch.”

Pushing the body off of you, you hop up to chase after them. “Wait! You’re ditching me for snacks? I don’t have the tools for this. And what the fuck is a radial artery?”

#stray kids x reader #stray kids x you #stray kids angst #stray kids au #minsung x reader #han jisung x reader #lee know x reader #han jisung angst #lee know angst #lee know x you #han jisung x you #chubby reader #plus size reader

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axailslink · 2 years ago

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Backseat memories

Riri Williams x poc FEM reader

SongFic: Touch me by Kehlani

Summary: You and Riri have agreed to forget that night but you can't lie it's always on your mind it's always on hers too. So what happens when you're haunted by the thoughts of that night as the same song you had on then plays now.

Snippet from the fic: “

A/n: Alright I hc that Riri has tattoos especially the one that Dom has behind her ear.

Awkward and uncomfortable are the best two words to describe your current situation as you sit in the back seat of your best friend's car with what you said was a light buzz next to an also lightly buzzed Riri Williams. "Yo Y/n" you glance over at Riri "yeah..?" She smiles as she leans back "remember last Friday?" You groan out of embarrassment "I was intoxicated just like I am now" "a drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts and if I recall that night you said "do whatever you want to me."

The memories play like a vcr tape you can rewind but due to fuzziness of your brain right now the thoughts are all over the place you can't remember who was on who was she licking you or the other way around? You're just remembering snippets. "I don't remember" you slouch into the seat as Riri smiles "I do. I remember we were both intoxicated like we are now and you just kept telling me how horny you were-" the embarrassment shoots through your face but Riri keeps talking "-you know you ramble when you're drunk you say whatever is on your mind with no shame. You said so much that night like "Riri right there" "oh God Ri don't stop" and my personal favorite "Are your windows tented?" Trying to keep a stoic facial expression doesn't last for long because the smile you crack at those last words brings a smile to Riri's face too "I was worried someone would see us... I remember... Some not a lot but I remember that I was covering my chest and looking around all panicked but you just kissed me and..." The memories come rushing back and with them comes that all too familiar feeling of wetness in-between your thighs one you wish would go away but it's hard not to get a little aroused at the thoughts. It's not something you can ignore with the ease because now that she's reminded you every time you blink you see her sprawled out before you every time you take a deep breath you think about how your breath hitched when her pretty manicured fingers were curled deep inside you and right now you're thinking about how tempting her stare is.

"And?" You stare at Ri who's sitting rather comfortably leaning against the door her legs in a nice man spread and her head against the window while those pretty brown eyes stay on you. Your attention is taken off of her momentarily when the sound of a familiar song plays from the radio you laugh while you realize Riri's confused to say the least because her brows draw together "that song...Touch me it played when I made you climax." Riri's the one who takes a moment to herself now reliving the moment too "oh you talking about when let me see" Riri hums to herself before scoring over to you "if I recall one of your hands was right here-" Riri grabs your left hand and gently places it at her throat and the other you off instincts slide to her clothed crotch "was it right here?" Riri just stares at you begging with those damned eyes of hers without having to say anything or make any gestures she's begging you to kiss her and you do. You lead with a gentle peck on her lips but she sits up on her elbows leaning up to deepen the kiss and you hum as she does so her tongue slipping inside of your mouth and fighting with yours. Without really noticing as if it's muscle memory your hand tightens around her throat cutting off that air wave just a bit not a lot but just a bit to make her dizzy to make her head spin make her surroundings seem more profound and that's what it does. Riri's so warm she's sitting up moving weakly as if you're sucking the life out of her with this kiss she rids herself of her shirt and loosens her pants. This is the moment your mind is dragged but to the reality that you're in the back of your friends car because you two are too drunk to drive home but obviously not drunk enough to be freaky horny fucks. Maybe you shouldn't do this. Here at least. You can almost scoff at those thoughts seeing Riri waiting on you to kiss her again those wanting eyes of hers give you all the confirmation you need as you kiss across her collar bone and loosen your grip on her neck so she doesn't pass out.

Your lips connect with hers again and she's a smiling mess but it's wiped gone as quick as it's found itself to her face when your hand centered at her crotch strategically takes a nice dip into her oversized jeans. As if to tease her you play with the edge of her underwear before allowing your hand to dip farther and cup her clothed pussy but like an alarm the music comes to an end and the conversations of friends beside the car has you running back to your side of the car and Riri doing the same. When the doors begin to open you scoot over to a poorly dressed Riri as everyone gets in pushing you into her you take a chance to smile at her before turning your attention to the conversations coming from both of your shared friends. "Leave it to Ri and Y/n to not be able to drive home."

A/n: obviously not edited like much because I have work and did this on the way there but I guess it was finally time to post this.

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tara-the-star · 7 months ago

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why is evermore (the song) by tsc so Jean coded

I meant ts it autocorrected 😭😭

ill be honest with you anon, evermore has always been a skip for me and i can barely understand what she's trying to say with this song, much less analyze it in the context of a character BUT let's give this a shot.

in no particular order, just whichever lyrics struck me first

Hey, December Guess I'm feeling unmoored

oh yes jean is 100% unmoored after eau. also the 'guess' can be taken as jean trying to identify emotions from the jumbled mess that the nest has him feeling post-tkm

Can't remember What I used to fight for

this doesn't even need an explanation, 'My name is Jean Moreau. My place is at Evermore. I belong to the Moriyamas.' is all we need, he has completely given up hope and has accepted that he was destined to face this pain

I rewind thе tape, but all it does is pause On thе very moment all was lost

this could be interpreted as jean trying to think of his time before the nest, back at marseille. the first scene where jean tries to remember elodie, he cannot go through with it purely because his memories are tainted with his parents' abuse and him being sold to the moriyamas. so the tape pauses on the moment all was lost.

Sending signals To be double-crossed

i cannot not think of kevjean in this. jean sending signals that he would do anything for kevin, and kevin nailing their coffins by using french in front of riko (i.e., double crossing him)

Writing letters Addressed to the fire

OKAY THIS it could symbolise holding on to something, knowing it is futile since it isn't there anymore, so riko, castle evermore, hell even marseille (i say marseille because there's a lot of 'burning the house down' talk regarding jean's family)

And I was catchin' my breath Starin' out an open window, catchin' my death And I couldn't be sure I had a feeling so peculiar That this pain would be for Evermore

THIS SCREAMS THE SCENES IN TSC WHERE HE'S STARING OUT THE BAY WINDOW MELANCHOLICALLY

And when I was shipwrecked I thought of you In the cracks of light I dreamed of you

mmm jeanee definitely. like he texted her in his last moments (at that time at least he thought those were his last) and 'in the cracks of light' (renee was described as the first bright thing to have caught jean's eyes) so yeah she definitely was a crack of light in jean's daily doom and gloom

okay yeah that's all i could think of, i'd love to know your thoughts on it too anon!

#sorry for the long post #but i kinda love analyzing gay stickball boys #or bi in this case wtv #anon <3 #asks #tsc spoilers #jean yves moreau #jean moreau #nora sakavic #the sunshine court #aftg #kevin day #kevjean

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viivdle · 10 months ago

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on today's episode of "taylor swift is SO jurdan coded" is "evermore feat. bon iver"

in my opinion, a lot of the songs can interpreted from both jude's and cardan's side and this one is a great example of it

"Gray November

I've been down since July" could very well be jude's exile - jude would be down because she was exiled (obviously), but we know cardan was extremely down too since he thought jude didn't want to return his letters

"Motion Capture

Put me in a bad light" - jude was put in an extremely bad light when cardan exiled her in front of everyone

"I replay my footsteps on each stepping stone

Trying to find the one where I went wrong" is one of the parts i think are fitting for both - jude has been raised as a mortal in elfhame, always having to watch what she's doing and make sure she's doing it correctly, i'm more than sure she'd overthink every single thing to find where she went wrong. on the other side, cardan has been raised as an unwanted princeling born under a bad prophecy, it clouded his whole being. for cardan's side i imagine both him as a child, trying to figure out what he did for everyone to ignore and hate him, and also him in the time between twk and tqon, trying to figure out why jude wasn't coming back despite his letters.

"Writing letters

Addressed to the fire" - i think this one is very self explanatory on cardan's side, but i think it can also be used as a metaphor for jude's efforts to fit in and prove her strength to everyone (ex: madoc) that she knows won't change anything anyway because she's mortal first, and everything she achieves is tarnished by that

"Staring out an open window

Catching my death" - this one isn't really something i can explain, i just imagine jude in vivi's apartment during the exile

"And I couldn't be sure

I had a feeling so peculiar

That this pain would be for

Evermore" again, fitting for both in a way - for both jude and cardan, they lived with something that shadowed everything they did. for jude, it was her mortality. for cardan, the prophecy. both of those caused pain (that they dealt with in very different yet similar ways, but not getting into that now) that they knew wouldn't go away. the second example, also fitting for both, is during the exile. jude was obviously homesick. despite the circumstances, elfhame did become her home and she was banished from it. on the other side, i imagine jude was the first person to make cardan feel at home, so in a way he banished himself from home by exiling her.

"Hey December

Guess I'm feeling unmoored" - again, exile (trying to speed this along)

"Can't remember

What I used to fight for" jude - through and through, it's her. she worked her way to not only being a spy and seneschal, but the actual QUEEN. and for what? to be exiled hours later? everything she touched and fought for turned into ashes.

"I rewind the tape, but all it does is pause

On the very moment I was lost" again, both - i could bring up the prologue of tcp, but i'm not doing that to myself. i think for cardan the most accurate moment was when jude tricked him and oak placed the crown on his head, those lyrics just FIT!! for jude the most important ones would of course be when she almost died but also when he saw cardan laughing with the folk.

"Sending signals

To be double crossed" - cardan. exile. letters. all i'm gonna say.

"Barefoot in the wildest winter

Catching my death" jude - i have to say it. jude when she almost died. you know the one i mean.

"Oh, can we just get a pause?" - i wish they would've gotten SO. MANY. PAUSES. this obviously applies to both. especially when cardan lost his family (it hit him more than he wanted to, i don't care) and, i'm sorry, when cardan turned into the serpent. i can see jude standing in front of him before she kills him so vividly when i hear this

"Cannot think of all the cost

And the things that will be lost" - i wish the two of them knew what was coming for them i'm sobbing

"I'm on waves, out being tossed" - pun intended

"And when I was shipwrecked

I thought of you" both fit - the amazing thing with jude and cardan is that no matter who was actually in danger, the other suffered too. when jude was held by the undersea, cardan went berserk. the time during jude's captive fits for many reasons (there was a pun intended by picking it). it also suits cardan when his family was BEING SLAUGHTERED AND HE SAW JUDE.

"In the cracks of light

I dreamed of you" again - both. i like to think of this as a metaphor, the cracks of light are the parts of cardan that were conscious when he was the serpent, not knowing anything but jude. and jude herself admitted that she dreamed of cardan, so i'm taking that one literally even thought there were no cracks of light during her exile

thanks for coming to my VERY long ted talk

"But I swear

You were there" cardan - again what i said above. he knew nothing, not even himself, but he knew jude.

#i doubt anyone actually read this #i kept it short near the end #i underestimated how much i was going to write #i apologise greatly #cardan greenbriar #jude duarte #jurdan #the cruel prince #the wicked king #tfota #the queen of nothing #the folk of the air #taylor swift #evermore #evermore feat bon iver #taylor swift evermore

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stop-ur-losing-me · 11 months ago

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evermore turned 3 years old today so in honor of that here are my fav lyrics from each evermore song:

willow- "show me the places where the others gave you scars"

champagne problems- "i never was ready so i watch you go, sometimes you just don't know the answer til someone's on their knees and asks you"

gold rush- "i don't like that falling feels like flying til the bone crush"

tis the damn season- "and the heart i know i'm breaking is my own, to leave the warmest bed i've ever known"

tolerate it- "i made you my temple, my mural, my sky, now i'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life"

no body, no crime- "i ain't letting up until the day i die"

happiness- "showed you all of my hiding spots, i was dancing when the music stopped, and in the disbelief, i can't face reinvention"

dorthea- "and if you're ever tired of being known for who you know, you know, you'll always know me"

coney island- "did I paint your bluest skies the darkest gray?"

ivy- "so yeah, it's a fire, it's a damn blaze in the dark and you started it"

cowboy like me- "and you asked me to dance but i said dancing is a dangerous game" but also "forever is the sweetest con"

long story short- "fatefully, i tried to pick my battle til the battles picked me"

marjorie- "should've kept every grocery store receipt, 'cause every scrap of you would be taken from me""

closure- "don't treat me like some situation that needs to be handled"

evermore- "can't remember what i used to fight for, i rewind the tape but all it does is pause on the very moment all was lost"

right where you left me- "if our love died young, i can't bear witness"

its time to go- ""or that moment again, he's insisting that friends look at each other like that"

#taylor swift #evermore #happy birthday evermore

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womanexile · 1 year ago

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do you think harry was the ex that tried to get back with taylor in 2016/17 that is implicit in why she disappeared poem?

I am by no means a poetry expert but yea it does to me. It sounds like she’s picturing this love there in the dark with her. This love helped her through it. This poem reminds me of evermore. Especially during the bridge.

Gray November

I've been down since July

Motion capture

Put me in a bad light

I replay my footsteps on each stepping stone

Trying to find the one where I went wrong

Writing letters

Addressed to the fire

And I was catching my breath

Staring out an open window

Catching my death

And I couldn't be sure

I had a feeling so peculiar

That this pain would be for

Evermore

Hey December

Guess I'm feeling unmoored

Can't remember

What I used to fight for

I rewind the tape but all it does is pause

On the very moment all was lost

Sending signals

To be double crossed

And I was catching my breath

Barefoot in the wildest winter

Catching my death

And I couldn't be sure

I had a feeling so peculiar

That this pain would be for

Evermore

(Evermore)

Can't not think of all the cost

And the things that will be lost

Oh, can we just get a pause?

To be certain we'll be tall again

Whether weather be the frost

Or the violence of the dog days

I'm on waves, out being tossed

Is there a line that I could just go cross?

And when I was shipwrecked (can't think of all the cost)

I thought of you (all the things that will be lost now)

In the cracks of light (can we just get a pause?)

I dreamed of you (to be certain we'll be tall again)

(If you think of all the costs)

It was real enough (whether weather be the frost)

To get me through (or the violence of the dog days)

(Out on waves being tossed)

But I swear (is there a line that we could just go cross?)

You were there

And I was catching my breath

Floors of a cabin creaking under my step

And I couldn't be sure

I had a feeling so peculiar

This pain wouldn't be for

Evermore

Evermore (evermore)

Evermore

This pain wouldn't be for evermore (evermore)

Evermore

Again she was picturing a love getting her through a dark time. Just thinking about him was enough.

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sapphires-and-silver-linings · 6 months ago

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Alan Wake 2: Lyric attribution and breakdown of the song "evermore" (by Taylor Swift, ft. Bon Iver) and how it pertains to Alan and Alice's marriage

I was just listening to this song after I finished watching a playthrough of Alan Wake 2 and almost every line was like a gut punch when considering their circumstances. It just perfectly encapsulates their relationship and the feelings of grief and hope they both have of getting back to each other somehow. Ugh, just beautiful. I think someone needs to make an edit of Alan Wake 2 using this song (I would but I have no idea how).

Anyway, I'll put the lyrics and my breakdown under the cut so you can think of Alan and Alice and see what I mean (spoilers ahead so be warned):

Gray November I've been down since July Motion capture Put me in a bad light I replay my footsteps on each stepping stone Trying to find the one where I went wrong Writing letters Addressed to the fire

I mean, if this verse doesn't just scream Alan going through the loop (spiral) in the Dark Place, I don't know what does. Even the part where he gets blinded by the flash of Alice's camera in Parliament Tower makes sense here with the third and fourth lines. And even the last two lines make sense with him writing and destroying and rewriting his works to find an out.

And I was catching my breath Staring out an open window Catching my death And I couldn't be sure I had a feeling so peculiar That this pain would be for Evermore

This part reminds me of that one video of Alice where she describes seeing a little girl losing her balloon out of her window and how that little girl was crying like she lost her whole world and Alice felt like she had too.

Hey December Guess I'm feeling unmoored Can't remember What I used to fight for I rewind the tape but all it does is pause On the very moment all was lost Sending signals To be double crossed

Alan again. The first part is more obvious, as he completely lost his way in the Dark Place and planned to stop writing altogether and just gave up. The second half works with all those videos you find on the scattered TVs in the Dark Place where he sees himself having a mental breakdown in the writer's room.

And I was catching my breath Barefoot in the wildest winter Catching my death And I couldn't be sure I had a feeling so peculiar That this pain would be for Evermore (Evermore)

No specific scene, but definitely reminds me of Alan having to suffer through the dangers of the Dark Place.

Can't not think of all the cost And the things that will be lost Oh, can we just get a pause? To be certain we'll be tall again Whether weather be the frost Or the violence of the dog days I'm on waves, out being tossed Is there a line that I could just go cross?

Alan again, lost on the lake that isn't a lake, but an ocean, trying so hard to find his way to shore. The last line can be a double meaning; Alan must write the perfect line to create a happy ending, or find the right line to cross to remember what needs to be written in order to escape.

And when I was shipwrecked (can't think of all the cost) I thought of you (all the things that will be lost now) In the cracks of light (can we just get a pause?) I dreamed of you (to be certain we'll be tall again) (If you think of all the costs) It was real enough (whether weather be the frost) To get me through (or the violence of the dog days) (Out on waves being tossed) But I swear (is there a line that we could just go cross?) You were there

I think this section of the bridge can be from both Alice and Alan's perspectives. Alice is figuratively shipwrecked due to her grief, Alan a bit more literally considering he's technically at the bottom of a lake. Alan is seeing glimpses of Alice in the Dark Place, and is using his desire to protect her and get back to her to push him into trying to escape again. Alice is using her art to reach through the void to lead Alan in the right direction.

(Edit: Alice also jumping into the Dark Place to help Alan also fits this part of the song.)

And I was catching my breath Floors of a cabin creaking under my step And I couldn't be sure I had a feeling so peculiar This pain wouldn't be for Evermore Evermore (evermore) Evermore This pain wouldn't be for evermore (evermore) Evermore

The first part of the last chorus is definitely Alan stuck in the writer's room, specifically after he was "killed" by the bullet of light and brought back to life. The second part is both of them, their hope making them realize that it will all be okay in the end. This loss is impermanent. The pain won't last. They will see each other again.

Anyway, this was just my silly thoughts about my current favorite video game. Their relationship is so tragically beautiful to me. Hope you enjoyed me overthinking about a song lol.

#alan wake #alan wake 2 #alan wake 2 spoilers #alice wake #alan wake x alice wake #song attribution

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