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scorpiofangirl1109 · 4 years ago

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My Cats OC Part 54

part 53- https://scorpiofangirl1109.tumblr.com/post/646877506005254144/my-cats-oc-part-53

hello everyone! welcome to part 54 of my series on kiki! this is going to be another cats human au headcanon. i hope you guys like it!

i am only getting one update out before bed but this will be the longest one i have written yet so i think that will make up for it!

a quick shout out to @the-pied-pipers-assistant for talking through this idea with me! i really appreciate it! you are awesome for listening to me ramble on and on all of the time lol.

in this headcanon kiki will be 2 years old!

munkustrap honestly was lucky because when kiki was usually a pretty easy baby. and she was usually pretty happy as well. of course there were moments kiki would scream and cry loudly or she would be fussy. but generally munkustrap was lucky that kiki was easy.

as kiki came a toddler she was still pretty easy for the most part. but munkustrap noticed kiki was starting to become a bit more stubborn at times such as when he tried to get her to eat a vegetable for example. but kiki was still pretty easy. but still had tantrums like all toddlers did.

luckily munkustrap was patient and was able to handle kiki’s temper tantrums calmly and was willing to wait as long as he had to until she was done.

but once kiki turned two she threw a curveball for munkustrap when she started to hit the terrible twos stage.

a little while after demeter moved in with munkustrap and his daughter, kiki learned how to climb out of her crib. up to this point kiki had always slept in her crib just fine. she would remain in her crib during her naptime or all night before letting munkustrap or someone else would get her out.

one night after being put into her crib by munkustrap, kiki slept for about two and a half hours before she woke up. normally kiki just went back to sleep. but this night was different, she wanted to go see her mama and daddy.

so kiki got up and after a bit of effort the toddler climbed out of her crib. she fell to the floor landing on her bum but was quick to get up and rushed over to the door and managed to open it despite munkustrap’s best efforts to child proof kiki’s room.

the toddler walked into the hallway dragging her kitty cat nd disney princess blanket with her.

she could hear the tv was on downstairs so she walked to the staircase. but there was a baby gate at the top and kiki could not get it to budge no matter how much she tried.

so after trying and failing to open the gate kiki started calling out for munkustrap and demeter, calling out “mama!! daddy!!”

munkustrap and demeter had not heard kiki on the baby monitor which was on the coffee table. it was a video monitor and the last time they had checked it kiki was fast asleep so they has assumed she was out for the night.

but when they heard her little voice calling out for them, munkustrap and demeter were quick to get up and rush up to go see what was wrong. so when they found kiki sitting in front of the baby gate on the floor with her blankie and kitty cat they were confused.

munkustrap knew for a fact he had put kiki in her crib after finishing her bedtime stories. so why was she out in the hallway?

“kiki why are you out of bed love? daddy put you down to go night night.” demeter asked as she opened the gate and scooped kiki up in her arms.

kiki snuggled into demeter before saying “i wakes up.”

“but it is late love, you need to sleep.” demeter told kiki looking down at her.

“kiki how did you get out of bed?” munkustrap asked kiki looking at his daughter.

“i climb out.” katie said with a shrug as if it was something she always did.

“kiki you can’t climb out of your bed. you could get hurt.” munkustrap said as he and demeter were walking back to kiki’s room.

when they got back into the room, demeter kissed kiki's head before letting munkustrap take kiki in his arms so he could put her back to bed and she could go back to sleep which kiki did do after she was sung a lullaby.

this kept happening every single night afterwards. it was clear kiki would get out of her crib as much as she wanted. so when demeter said that kiki should get a big girl bed munkustrap didn’t want to. but eventually demeter convinced him it was necessary.

so he decided to take kiki’s convertible crib and to make it into a toddler bed. for kiki and they even took kiki out so she could pick some bedding for her big girl bed. she choose a disney princess bedding set that matched her favorite blankie.

when the day came to actually convert the bed, munkustrap had his brother tugger over to help him when he and misto had come over. tugger initially tried to back out but eventually agreed to help out munkustrap while misto and demeter were downstairs entertaining kiki.

it took a while to disassemble the crib and to convert it to a toddler bed. with quite a few curse words coming out from the brothers. but eventually they finished the process even if it took a while and kiki had to nap in munkustrap and demeter’s bed.

when kiki saw her bed, she was confused at first about what had happened to her crib, she asked munkustrap as tugger held her “daddy what happen to my crib?”

“well you’re a big girl now. you get to have a big girl bed. and you get to sleep in a big girl bed.” munkustrap told kiki.

after dinner, misto and tugger left and demeter and munkustrap got kiki ready for bed like any other night. but when they tried to tuck her in kiki freaked out and was screaming loudly. she was clinging to munkustrap and was not wanting to sleep in her old bed.

demeter tried to put kiki down as well but it did not help either as kiki kept doing the same routine. after what seemed like a lifetime, kiki eventually had worn herself out enough through her tantrum that she had fallen asleep.

over the next few nights putting kiki to bed consisted of having a huge tantrum and putting up a fight about sleeping in her bed, when kiki managed to sleep, he would not remain asleep for long as she would always climb out of bed and go running to demeter and munkustrap. she just did not want to sleep in her big girl bed.

this was very hard on demeter and munkustrap having to be up constantly trying to get kiki to sleep and stay in her bed for more than an hour and a half at a time.

naturally the couple became very sleep deprived from staying up with kiki. this took a toll on munkustrap especially as he was the one getting up with kiki the majority of the time. the last time munkustrap was this exhausted was when kiki was newborn and waking constantly for feedings or diaper changes.

it started to show how exhausted munkustrap was. he started to develop bags under his eyes and dark under eye circles. plus he started to drink way more coffee than usual. munkustrap pretty much looked like a sleep deprived zombie. most nights ended up with kiki sleeping with munkustrap and demeter out of sheer desperation to get her to sleep at all.

he was so exhausted that one night he ended up falling asleep on the floor next to kiki’s bed. he was in there because every time kiki would get out of bed, he was there to put her right back in. but the whole process took a lot of of the sleep deprived father and caused him to pass out on the floor.

kiki looked down at her daddy and got one of the baby blankets near her rocking chair and covered munkustrap with it. after this she sued this as a prime chance to escape her room and run to hide to avoid going into her big girl bed.

demeter had noticed it had gotten very quiet in kiki's room so she walked down the hall to see what was happening. as soon as she stepped into the room the woman noticed munkustrap passed out on the group, which was evident from the quiet snores coming from him. but she did not see kiki and searched the room not finding the toddler anywhere.

demeter sighed as she now had to go find kiki who was “playing hide and seek”. after searching the female found kiki with her kitty cat hiding behind a curtain, she could see kiki's little feet sticking out even though kiki tied to wrap herself in the curtain to hide.

demeter walked over and gently pulled the curtain from around kiki and picked her up before kiki could dart off. she walked kiki back to her room and tried to put kiki to bed. but of course the toddler dug her heels in and refused to stay in bed throwing a tantrum.

kiki was always loud during a tantrum and this was no exception. but amazingly somehow munkustrap slept through kiki have a tantrum even as kiki screamed “nwo mama! pwease!” as demeter kept putting her back into bed. when kiki did somehow fall asleep, demeter to had to nudge munkustrap awake and get him to go to bed since he was so tired.

the couple hoped kiki would outgrow this and get used to it. but it did not get better. as the tantrums kept happening every single night and no one in the house was getting enough sleep

one night demeter walked into the hallway see munkustrap looking very sleep deprived and disheveled. in addition to his under eye bags and under eye circles munkustrap's hair was all messy, as if he had not brushed it for weeks and he was in his pajamas and old tattered bathrobe. munkustrap was also half asleep as he was trying to get a screaming and crying kiki to sleep. a cup of black coffee in his free hand

demeter was very concerned at this sight and also she was afraid he was going to drop kiki from how he kept nodding off.so she quickly rushed over and took kiki in her arms ordering munkustrap to bed.

munkustrap shook his head saying “no...i’m fine....really.” but from how he was struggling to remain awake. while holding a crying kiki in her arms she tried to force munkustrap to bed even if he kept refusing.

demeter still tried to calm kiki down and nothing that usually worked for kiki, helped at all. and the female was quickly running out of ideas and she did not want to put kiki in bed with her and munkustrap.

it got to the point where demeter got so desperate she got her car keys and loaded kiki up in the car with her kitty cat and blanket to drive around until she fell asleep. munkustrap heard demeter open the garage and after learning what she was doing, he insisted on coming along. demeter kept trying to go to sleep but it was falling on deaf ears so she gave in and let munkustrap come.

demeter put baby shark on for kiki and put the song on loop so it would keep playing and once she backed out of the driveway she started to drive around to get kiki to sleep.

after a while, kiki fell asleep in the backseat, but munkustrap had also fallen asleep. once at home demeter turned off the car. and stopped playing baby shark off her phone. the female also nudged munkustrap several times to wake him up.

demeter was extremely careful and managed to get kiki into her bed and tuck her in without waking her. this was the first night in a long time kiki did not come into bed with munkustrap and demeter.

the woman knew she could not drive kiki around while blasting baby shark every night, so the next day when munkustrap was at work and she went over to see her parents for advice. she had kiki with her that day because kiki’s daycare center was closed because of pipes bursting in the building/

jenny and skimbles told demeter that they had experienced this with the twins, jerrie and teazer when they were the same age and the key was to just keep at it. even if it took 70 times that she needed to keep putting kiki back in bed and reassure her that she was going to be ok.

demeter decides to take her parents’ advice and tells munkustrap to help her with putting kiki to bed. after they read to kiki, demeter puts kiki down in her bed and munkustrap tucks her in.

kiki of course is not liking this and she cries getting out of bed. demeter stand sup and puts kiki back into bed tucking her in again telling kiki it was time to go to sleep. the toddler cried and once demeter sat down she got out of bed but this time munkustrap picked up kiki and out her down again.

kiki keeps getting out of bed every time she is put down in bed. so demeter munkustrap take turns putting her back into bed reassuring her that she is ok. it takes a while and after countless time kiki learns to stay in bed and si crying but remains in bed.

not long afterwards kiki finally goes to sleep and demeter and munkustrap quickly leave the room. they keep doing this every night and it only takes a few nights before kiki’s bedtime tantrums stop and when she is put down for the night she remains in bed.

when kiki is finally sleeping in her big girl bed and not fighting them about going to bed, this takes a lot of stress off demeter and munkustrap and they are able to get the sleep they need. well at least demeter is most of the time because while munkustrap is seeping more, he still stays up way too late doing work, only going to bed when demeter makes him.

alright that is part 54! this is the longest part i have written so i hope you all enjoyed! let me know what you guys thought and i will see you all for part 55!

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the-coolest-mallard · 5 years ago

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Like a Kickass Guy | ASC

Louie gets high at Mei’s party and texts Nemo and Tae.

@justkeepdancing-nemo @moon-yeongtae

Louie: holy shit u guyyyyyy Louie: shit has been going dowwwwwwwwn. Or upside down? down and up really lol Louie: i may not have muscles n shit but guess WHAT I DID Tae: hulked out and killed someone? Louie: woah man no! Duuuuuude have u seen me? impossible Louie: i'm too cute to go to jail yet Louie: i mean EVER Louie: im too cute to go to jail EVER Louie: did a keg stand lol. sorta Tae: whoa nice Tae: how you feelin? Louie: a m a z i n g Louie: you won't BELIEVE how good i am Louie: i felt like IRON - no. i felt like CAPTAIN AMERICA. LIKE A KICK ASS Louie: GUY Tae: nice dude i'm glad ur having fun Tae: is mark there Louie: he was here somewhere. he asked me to come Louie: dunno where he went. maybe he's with johnny idk Louie: but who cares lol Louie: i'm great Louie: no more sads Tae: wow you're really drunk huh? Louie: nooooooooooooo Louie: haha I was gonna drink Louie: but then this weird girl showed up Louie: and now i'm super

Tae: but you said you did a keg stand Tae: that's like drinking isnt it? Louie: is it? i thought it was just a hand stand on a keg lol Louie: who knows? not me Tae: i mean i guess Tae: what weird girl Louie: idk blond. weird. she wanted me to CHEAT ON MARK WTF Louie: i mean she seriously helped me out but also Louie: wtf Louie: weird. so weird. but we went to the bathroom and she Louie: gave me t his stuff n i'm like Louie: wow i mean i can't stop talking Louie: i think I've said some seriously stupid shit Tae: wait Tae: what? Louie: what? i didn't tell you anything stupid did I? Louie: i don't think i did. thank god. imaigngi f i told u that Louie: lololol i'd die forever Tae: louie what are you taking about what stuff Louie: stuff? which stuff Louie: im not tellig Tae: what did she give you Louie: ohhhhhhhhhhh Louie: oh i can tell u that haha Louie: she called it all kinds of weird stuff like snow white or whatever which is bizarre af but whatever Louie: i like sniffed it and it felt super whack Tae: LOUIE WHAT THE FUCK Louie: and then it was like Louie: wow Louie: idk man i wanted to not feel sad and i feel good now Tae: holy shit what the fuck i cannot believe Tae: louie that was so dumb Louie: you're so dumb! Louie: no that's not true Louie: you're my faovriedgof person ever Tae: where the fuck is nemo why isn't he here to tell you how stupid that was where are you Tae: you're at mei's right Louie: yeh i crashed lol Louie: well no mark and johnny wanted to crash Louie: and since mark's been cool and let me stay at his place i was like Louie: well i should probs go Tae: yeah well THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD'VE FUCKING DONE COKE OR WHATEVER YOU DID jesus fuck Nemo: wait wtf did i just read Tae: yeah Tae: i have to go fucking get him Louie: why are you maddddd? im not bugging anyone! i'm having fun! Nemo: wait whats going on! Nemo: louie are you okay? Louie: i'm FINE Louie: i'm super Nemo: he did cocaine? Louie: super human Tae: he's at mei's party and he fucking YES Louie: you could say Louie: ughhh stop making this so big Tae: do you know how many kids my brother had to see in the hospital bc of drugs louie? Nemo: yeah that stuffs really bad Nemo: its human chemicals Nemo: do you feel okay? are you dizzy? Louie: do you know what else is bad? life. being sad. freddie mercury leaving too soon. presidents. earthquakes Nemo: louie D: Louie: tthe hunger games Tae: hey louie seriously how are you feeling like Tae: in your body Louie: that's a weird thing 2 akks dud Louie: im fine! Tae: okay but like Tae: if u close ur eyes and like idk try to feel what's happening like is your heart beating really fast? do you feel like puking? do you feel like you're moving? Louie: oh i mean yeah lol Louie: my heart is skipping faster n when i Louie: wait i gotta shut up shut up Nemo: tae yah is that bad? Nemo: would jun hyung know? Tae: i'm asking him right nwo Louie: so fussy you guys are fussy im gooood Nemo: louie just keep texting u ok Louie: look how good i am Louie:

Nemo: very pretty Tae: yeah gorgeous how's your breathing Louie: wouldnt u like 2 kno Louie: how's your butt Louie: bet its still kicckable Tae: you have literally never kicked my ass at anything Tae: nemo does your appa know about this stuff? you probably shouldn't ask him huh? Louie: DON'T AOISFJPDOGN Nemo: its human drugs Nemo: so not really Louie: 4 THE LOV OF GOD Louie: that guy lredy probs haaaaaates me Nemo: his magic wouldnt work either i dont think Louie: im a toxin to freidn parnets Nemo: yeah if he ever finds out we woudl be banned from being in the same school i think he'd transfer me to that catholic place and appa hates catholicism Nemo: this is why you shouldnt do drugs louie :heart: dont yu wanna keep being my friend Louie: :cry: :cry: :cry: Louie: you're my best mate wgodidpsdggdfh Louie: you too tae Tae: wow rude Tae: oh okay Louie: wow Louie: dont be such a bitch tae Tae: well you started it when you did cocaine Louie: i used to think u were the coolest but maybe im demoting u n promoing Louie: nemo Louie: nemo ur the new hottie Tae: the what Louie: what? Tae: louie i'm coming to get you Louie: whyyyyy the partys still partying Louie: ppl be FITIN Louie: man ud fit right in with your muscle bod Louie: well cept one fitghts girls Tae: where are you in the house Louie: idk the dance place. the life space Louie: where everyone is? Nemo: is jun going too? Nemo: aghaldkfjaskldfj Tae: yeah Louie: wait wait wait wait wait Nemo: ugh im sorry i cant be there Louie: where u going Nemo: louie im so sorry just keep texting us Louie: no Louie: i should dkslefadkad Tae: hey louie what's your favorite queen song Louie: skedlolde Louie: what? ohhhhh wow tough choice man i mean Louie: there are soooo many good SONGS Louie: lately i've been listening 2 somebody to love a lot cause i been dfpsogdpsjsd Louie: buuuuuut Tae: i like don't stop me now Louie: that's my OTHER FAVORITE Louie: man u vibe so well with me i hate it Louie: ha ha ha Louie: j k this is why we're bffs Nemo: hey queen was on the CD you gave me Nemo: ive been listening to it! Louie: reallyyyyy? did you like it? Louie: hey hey tae tae. taeeeeeeee. tae you should send a slefdie Louie: slefit Louie: sel fie Nemo: course! i love it Nemo: maybe i'll pick a song and choreo a dance for it Tae: you want a selfie? Louie: oooooo yes please nemo Louie: and def yes pls tae Louie: do smehthing cute Nemo [deleted]: ugh louiealkf Nemo: where's mark again? Nemo: im gonna text mark Louie: idkkkkkkk Tae:

Louie: he went to do some stuff with johnny Louie: woahhhhhhhhh Louie: waogdisjdpsgjosg Louie: shit Tae: that's me coming to get ur dumb ass Louie: wait ur coming to get me? Louie: shit shit shit wait i gotta skedoled Louie: skedadled Tae: what? Louie: well much as i think ur great im ok Louie: also i thinkk hoooo shit Louie: gotta ifnd a window lol Tae: louie if you don't stay there i will fucking murder you Tae: i'm serious Louie: deth by tae or tdeth by uncle d when he fins out Louie: shit mn if i stay its a double featur Nemo: :/ Nemo: please louie, we're worried about you Nemo: we love you! we just want to make sure you're okay Tae: yeah Tae: you're gonna stay the night with me okay Louie: oh god Tae: it'll be great Louie: hahaahahahahahaha Louie: N E M O Louie: tell him why i suddenly Louie: sgosigdsgsdg Nemo: louie i think you should Nemo: um drink water Louie: im good ill just find Louie: makr Louie: mark Nemo: that's also good please find mark Louie: n go to his place? Tae: what did i say Nemo: nothing he's on drugs Tae: i said stay put Louie: im really good thouuuugh Louie: n mark will look out for me Louie: marks nce Tae: well mark left u alone and you did cocaine so i mean not that that's his fault i'm just saying Nemo: ugh what if mark did cocaine Nemo: u dont think mark did cocaine did he Louie: dont blae me him 4 ME BEING ME Tae: DID MARK DO COCAINE Louie: honestly i dont dieossgodkh Louie: NO Tae: fuck Nemo: he might not have! we dont know Louie: i dont deesrve mrk naywayl ol Tae: nemo never do cocaine please Nemo: i cant see mark lee doing cocaine unless someone told him it was fun dip Louie: he n johnny were just doing fun stuff 2gether Tae: lmfao Nemo: id probably DIE if i did cocaine so dont worry ahha Nemo: big no no for fairies Louie: speaking of immenditd death Louie: we sure windows r no go Nemo: which is why u shouldnt do it solidarity c'mon louie Tae: if you aren't there when i get there i will be very upset Nemo: he will be Nemo: wont u louie Louie: im scared i dont want the lady 2 yell at me Louie: pls i wanna leave Tae: I'm almost there Louie: DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD= Louie: what if i hid in the bathroom Nemo: its gonna be okay louie :heart: Nemo: just um, sing a little queen Louie: no its not ill be ded 4ever n dragged home n stuck with my asshole fam n never escape n ded Nemo: you won't be dead you'll be safe Louie: shit someone said its the COPS Louie: im double triple dead Louie: n thats bullshit Louie: my fam isnt safe they suuuuuuuck Tae: WHERE ARE YOU Tae: fuck there are so many people Louie: trapped in the prison of xistance Louie: a house of horrs Louie: horors Tae: i'm serious louie i can't find you Louie: just make urself taller Louie: ill see you Tae: i'm gonna yell for you Louie: ok ok ok Nemo: ugh fksjf

#justkeepdancing-nemo #moon-yeongtae #t: like a kickass guy #r: lemo #r: taekwonduck #r: afternoon snack club #tw: drugs #i mean that's a main topic

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ladyspaceradio · 7 years ago

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Fire and Glass Chapter 9

AO3 Link

“Honey,” Soft strokes caressed her cheek, drawing Grace from the warmth of her dreams.

“Mmm?” She nuzzled deeper into the worn blanket beneath her folded arms. Someone chuckled in her ear.

“Honey, it’s time to get up.”

Grace opened her lids, blinking them to stare at the pale gaunt face in front of her. “What time is it?” She yawned stretching her arms before reaching for the frail hand that had been touching her.

“I think its seven.” Ellen whispers.

Rubbing her eye, Grace leaned back onto the bed looking up at her mom. “Only you would say it’s time to get up.” She grumbled wiping away the sleeplessness.

“Gracie Girl.” Ellen smooth the hair back from her face. Her hands were a little steadier today than yesterday. It was these small things that gave Grace hope that one day, one day, she would be better. But the truth was staring at her with loving eyes and a body that was wasting away. Ellen Ryder was never going to get better. “What are you still doing here? Go out, see the world.”

She’s wearing that frown again, the one that means she’s been thinking too hard about her situation.

Grace blinked. “I don’t want to go out mama.” She rubs the cold hand between her own. “I want to spend my time with you.” For however long that might be.

Ellen shook her head, what was left of her curls swayed with the movement. “No honey, I mean go out. GO, live your life the way you want to. Not how your father wants you to.”

Snorting Grace raised her brow. Here came another talk about her future. Ellen Ryder was a worry that her daughter would forever be cloaked the the shadow of her parents.

“Dad can’t tell me what to do.” She pointed out. “I’m too stubborn, like him remember.”

“Grace Nova Ryder.” Ellen caught her cheek, pinching it.

“Ellen Grace Ryder.” Grace sasses back pinching her mother's own cheek and earning a small smile that actually reaches her gray eyes.

“Don’t make the same mistake I did Gracie girl.” Ellen’s lip fall back into a frown. “Don’t waste your time on projects that will never matter.”

“Ma-”

“Ssshh Grace.” Ellen catches her chin in her shaking grasp. Her eyes are filled with tears as she talks with a ragged wobbly voice. “Please listen to me. I don’t want you to regret your life. Be truthful to who you are.” She moves her hand, cupping Grace’s cheek. “Go out and see this galaxy. Become a pro wrestler, or open your own business. Fall in love and for god's sake tell him,” Ellen paused, blinking tears from her gray eyes. “Or her, you know I don’t care.”

“Mama.” Grace sighed exasperated, trying to hide her own growing pain at her mothers words. The wishes of a dying woman.

“No, I know you Grace. Love is a scary thing to you, and I won’t deny that. It's scary, but I want you to go out and fall in love. That is my last request as your mother.”

“Don’t talk like that! You are going to be fine!”

“Just like your father, stubborn to the core.” Ellen sighed pulling Grace close with a weak tug. “I mean it Grace.”

Moving forward Grace buries her face into her mother's shoulder. Inhaling her scent, the stench of the hospital overpowers everything else. There was no longer the hint of vanilla on her mother's skin, only disinfectant.

She doesn’t even smell like herself anymore.

Tears start blurrying her vision. ”I’m sorry mama.” Grace choked as she pressed her forehead to the thin, too thin,shoulder.

“It’s alright Gracie girl.” Frail, cold fingers slide through her scalp. Rubbing away the worries that could wait till later.

When there would be no more fingers able to run through her hair.

“Promise me Grace,” Grace moved her head, pressing her cheek to her mother's collarbone so that she could look into her eyes. Gray, gray eyes that she had inherited. “Take care of your father and brother. They need a Ryder woman in there life.” Ellen gave a chuckle. It was weak and laced with a slight cough.

“They wouldn’t know how to breathe without me.” Grace added humorously, even though she was screaming inside. Begging for her mother not to go, not to leave her this responsibility.

“I know you’re strong Gracie girl, my strong, strong girl.”

Grace closed her eyes, hot tears spilling out of her lids.

---

Waking with a gasp and being disoriented was something Grace was used to. What she wasn’t used to was the throbbing twinge in her side and the blinding over head light.

“Mama?” Grace twitched as she lay there squinting at the light above.

Had she fallen asleep at the hospital again?

Shifting she moved to sit up when pain laced her side. A jarring call to reality.

“You're the reason my Taoshay is gone!”

Grace gasped, hands flying to her side to stop the bleeding. Only there’s no hilt buried deep in her side, no gushing blood, just her tattered shirt and a blood stained gauze.

Brow furrowing, she tried to remember what happened.

There was the angry blue eyes, so much like the ocean orbs she knows so well, the knife and the color red.

Blood, so much blood.

She remembered seeing Jaal in the sea of people. Staring at her with an expression of pure pain and horror and then….

Nothing.

Where was she? The tempest infirmary, but….where was the tempest?

Oh god, had they left Aya already?

I didn’t get to say goodbye.

A ragged sobbing like groan worked its way out of her throat. Biting back on the sorrow, Grace pressed a palm to her forehead trying to stave off the tears persistently pricking at her eyes. She never got the chance to ask him if he wanted to stay with her! Oh god, she might never see him again!

“Ryder,” SAM stirred at her pained breaths. “doctor Lexi is on her way.” SAM paused, the brief span of silence was filled with her soft keening noises. “Ryder I am not detecting any pain, just mild discomfort. Is there anything I can do?”

“Nwoo.” Tear were free falling now, big fat droplets rolled down hitting the edge of her hair line. The harder she tried to stop the burning sadness the more she cried.

She didn’t want him to go, ah god when had she fallen so hard? It didn’t seem logical. Yet the pain she felt in her heart the torn ragged pain that hurt far worse than being stabbed told her otherwise.

Jaal had taken a very important piece of her heart.

“Grace,” Lexi was there, hands touching her face. Slightly damp, suggesting the doctor had been doing something that involved water when Ryder woke up.

“Grace, Are you in pain?” Lexi was pulling up her shirt, probing the healing wound.

“Nwo.” She hiccuped, unable to wrangle in the welling tears spilling from her lashes and rolling down her cheek. “M’ybe.” She’s taking such ragged breaths she can feel the internal stitching pulling with each inhale.

“Grace, you have to tell me what’s wrong so I can help.” Lexi looked down at her, worrying.

Was she bleeding again? It felt like there was a knife imbedded in her heart.

“I-.” Grace pressed the heel of her hand into her eyes. “I can’t-stahp!”

“Doctor T’Perro, I am not sensing an imbalance of homeostasis within Ryder, she is in normal levels. Perhaps it is the pain medication.” SAM suggest.

“It could be.” Lexi pulled back going to her charts as Grace continued to make wounded noises.

The medbay door opened and Lexi sighed with what sounds like well worn exasperation “I told you to wait.” “No.” A voice rumbles, low and harsh. “Jaal-” Lexi starts but is promptly hushed by a low growl.

“Not when she's like this.” the last word is snarled out

Jaal?!

There’s a wailing gasp that leaves her lips, a name crying in non-syllable words. As the soft noises rent the air, she feels someone touching her, stroking her hair, crooning away her pain.

Moving her hand, Grace stared up at the ocean of stars gazing down at her with such adoration.

“Shh Grace, it’s alright.” He wiped away the salty teardrops before leaning forward till his nose was pressed against her temple. Little puffs of breath ghost across her wet skin.

“What is wrong with her?” Jaal asked as he purred against her ear.

“It’s the drugs I think.” Lexi appeared again, with a light this time. Grace shifted as she shined it into her eyes.

“Tell me how you're feeling Grace.” Lexi prompted.

“I-i-I don’t-” Her words were lost in the sobbing hiccups of a turmoil emotions. Like a dam that was broken the flood fell upon her.

Jaals whispering to her, trying to sooth what was broken. “You’re safe here Little One, I have you.”

Grace gasped, latching onto the arm he used to brace himself on the bed. She’s babbling, jumbled warbling words that make no sense. “N-o leaving, I’m sorry. Stay stay.” She clings to him, afraid that if she lets go she’d drift away in the sea of emotions threatening to crush.

Lexi’s speaking in the background, her voice a dull hum that Grace can’t focus on as she’s hysterically trying to merge with the arm holding her. Jaal shifts above her, sliding an arm beneath her shoulders to hold her closer to his chest. Grace buries her nose into his shoulder, keening.

It wasn’t till she felt the sharp prick of a needle in her shoulder that she realizes Jaal was holding her while Lexi puts her under. His eyes, those blue eyes, are the last thing she sees before sinking back to darkness.

Stay.

This time Grace doesn’t dream. It just feels like a warm blanket of darkness that has wrapped her up.

When she wakes again, it’s to the sound of snoring.

Groggy from the drugs, it takes her a moment to place the loud disjointed rumbling sound. Head rolling to the side Grace stares at the large male occupying the room with her. Part of her recalls the episode, the tears, and phantom pain of her heart, but the drugs simple dull her memory enough to make her think it was all a dream.

Still she can’t help but feel soothed by the presence of the large angara sitting in the too small chair.

Jaal’s large form was uncomfortably slumped in a chair beside her bed, legs stretched out and his arms folded. They really needed to get some Angara friendly seating on the Tempest.

Grace gazes at him till a shadow shifts in the corner separating from the rest. Cora steps into the light, her face looks tired, worn from worry.

“How you doing Ryder?” Her voice is the softest whisper. Grace doesn’t know if it's her drugged up mind or because she’s so quiet that it takes her a while to process what she’s saying.

“Fine.” Grace finally croaks, her voice sounds like sandpaper rubbing together. She wants to sit up, but her limbs feel as if they are weighted down. Not to mention her mouth feels like Tuchanka.

Raw and dry.

“Here.” Cora moves quietly across the room, to the side table and offers the cup that had been sitting there. She has to help Grace sit up to drink it.

“Thanks….” Her gaze falls back to the angara in the room.

“He’s been with you since the incident.” Cora says. “Lexi had to have Sam lock him out….and then she needed Drack to physically pull Jaal out after that because he just kept bypassing the lock.”

Grace turned to look fully at him again. Studying his lax facial features. “Why?”

“You’ll have to ask him.” She shrugs.

“Even if I ask I’ll probably just end up even more confused.” Jaal had a way of doing that. Confusing her with his actions, his words, his all consuming stare. Things that she just seemed to lack the instinctive or cultural context for.

Despite knowing next to nothing about the man, there was something that continuously pulled her to him. An invisible tether on her heart that tugged at her till she was in his presence. It was disconcerting.

“I think he likes you.”

Grace blinks at the statement and looks back at the biotic. “What?”

Cora shrugs. “I think he likes you-more than just a commanding officer.”

Grace feels her heart thump harder at her words before shaking her head.

“He’s requested to stay on the tempest, with you.”

She freezes, head in mid-shake, when her eye snap back up to Cora’s raised brow, almost smug look. “W-what-”

“Tann’s already approved it.” Cora states, she almost seems to enjoy Grace’s pinkening cheeks.

Despite her hazy thoughts, Grace can decipher the glee that comes from this knowledge.

He’s staying!

Swallowing, Grace licks at her chapped lips. “That’s good, we’ll need knowledge on the angara culture, diplomatic advantages.”

Cora didn’t look like she believed Grace’s reasoning. Not the Ryder cared all that much. Her heart is still thumping in excitement while she has funny flips in her stomach. Taking a deep breath, Grace smooths her hands against the worn blanket.

It’s quiet for a moment between the two before Grace speaks again.

“Did anyone file a report to Tann?” She asks in a low voice, eyes looking up at her second in command. This was a tightrope, when it came to the command of the Tempest and her crew Cora and her tended to butt head on what was the ‘greater’ good.

“Wanted to,” Cora admits. “But SAM suggested you wouldn’t want that.” Grace had a feeling that by ‘suggesting,’ he blocked her.

“Ya.” Grace closes her eyes. “It would be best not to file it.”

“Why?” Cora’s tone isn’t clipped, or harsh, like it usually is when they come to clashing ideas on a topic. Perhaps she’s finally putting faith in Grace’s decisions.

Or it’s because I’m injured….

“The angara are a new race and our people aren’t always the trusting kind.” Grace rubs her eyes. She feels tired already. “If this gets out, they will view the angara with even more suspicion. And we don’t need that.”

“And if the news of the Pathfinder being stabbed got out….” Cora hummed tapping her chin. “There would be unease between the Nexus and the angara, I see.”

“Mmmhmm.” Grace sags against the pillows her eyes dropping, the drugs in her system finally pulling her back into exhaustion.

“I suppose we could claim that there was data corruption-”

“Cora.” Jaal rumbled, his voice soft and gravely. “Let her rest.”

Harper turns seeing that Ryder had passed out against the pillows with her mouth hanging open and drool dripping out of the corner of her mouth. She could wait to talk to her again. “Of course.” She glances at Jaal as he tucks the blanket around the young leader, gentle and soft in his motions.

She smiles to herself as she slips out the door. Grace would be well looked after.

---

For three days she stays in the care of Lexi, on the astoundingly uncomfortable medical bed, that became item number two on her mental list of improvements for the Tempest. She has on and off visits from her crew, most relaying information about the on goings of the Nexus and Aya. Lexi won’t let her deal with anything she deems stressful and had restricted Ryder’s omnitool uses, so anything brought by the crew was welcome… even if they did get the evil eye from the residential doctor.

The only constant visitor was Jaal, who was always present when she was awake.

… Minus the once she woke up and he was gone… and that didn’t last long.

Grace had awakened in the middle of the night, where she laid in the small, rock hard cot for a few silent moments before realizing she was alone. Sucking in a breath, Grace threw her covers back preparing to start wiggling out of bed when the door dinged, allowing access to whoever was on the other side. Flopping back into bed she threw the covers over her face and pretending to be asleep. If Lexi saw her, she would run more tests… and Grace was getting tired of being prodded, poked and scanned.

She wasn’t broken damnit!

But the heavy footfalls indicated it wasn’t Lexi who entered, but rather the large bulky form of her angara companion who seemed to be orbiting her side since the attack.

Ryder twitched just slightly when a very large warm hand gently caressed her forehead, pushing back her hair.

And then he kissed her. W-what?!

His lips were warm, warmer than the fingers running through her hair, as they pressed into the skin of her forehead.

WHAT?!

She feels him sniff again, letting out a long breath before purring out a word that didn’t translate. “Taoshay”

Grace laid there, forcing herself to breath slowly, she couldn't’ stop the twitch when his lips moved away.

“Ssshh.” He stroked her hair, purring for a moment before he began to hum. A pleasant soothing sound as warmth washed over her skin. He was singing to her.

Lullaby?

Grace realized, he thought she was having a nightmare and was trying to soothe her. She hadn’t realized that there was a tear rolling down her skin till a warm finger brushed the wetness away.

“Never again.” Jaal promised, his voice coming from above her as he combs her hair. “I won’t let anyone hurt you ever again.”

With his words in her ear, Grace fell into an actual sleep, no nightmares, no memories, just a pleasant dream of strong arms and husky voices.

---

There was something going on between her and Jaal.

This was a thought that kept circling round and round in her mind. Was there something going on between them, or she was imagining things. But-

He kissed her!

There was something going on between her and Jaal.

And around the circle it went. Grace pondered this over and over again. Her inexperience with men was becoming blatantly obvious as she floundered around Jaal. Turning red faced, unable to look at him when he smiled at her, stuttering during conversations.

Worst of it all she didn’t even know if he was feeling the same because he was a FUCKING ALIEN. It wasn’t like he was a Quarian or a Drell, those were cultures that, while rare, weren’t complete goddamned mysteries! Shit, at least then she’d know to wow him with her tech prowess or… okay all she really knew about Drell was that some of them couldn’t tell the difference between black and red, but that was STILL more than she knew about the Angara!

At one point during her stay in the med bay she thought for certain something between them, like honestly he’s giving her heart eyes-till she looked out the window in the medbay and saw him and Peebee.

That put an end to the butterflies in her stomach like a frag grenade.

It wasn’t that they were doing anything scandalous, they had just been talking.

But it’s how they spoke with their body. How Peebee swayed towards him hand on his chest speaking with a soft look as Jaal recuperated with a smile on his own. He seemed relaxed, comfortable in her presence, not minding the straying lingering touches.

Something clenched in her chest as Grace turned away from the window, from the scene that brought forth a need to throw something at them to make them STOP looking at one another like that.

She grabbed her brush instead.

Releasing the rat nest of her hair, Grace began yanking it through her tangles, uncaring when her scalp screamed at her for ripping strands out. Her frustrations made her movements jerky and harsh as she hissed in pain before continuing to torture her scalp.

She felt like a schoolgirl whose date didn’t pick her up for prom. Like there was ice in her veins and shard of glass in her stomach. She had been foolish to think Jaal was being anything but nice! Hell he probably felt responsible for her injuries-

Grace’s breath hitched as she realizes that was why he hovered at her side, why he was being so attentive. Not because he liked her-

More than a commanding officer-

But because he felt guilty…

Grace wanted to scream, instead she rubbed her burning eyes and went back to yanking the hairbrush through her tangled tresses.

Stupid, stupid, stupid-

“May I?” The baritone voice startled the FUCK out of her. With a gasp Grace, hairbrush in hand, turned to look at the male watching her trying to tear out her hair.

“Uh,” She’s gaping at him as he smiles back, he’s moving closer the longer she stays silent. “W-” She coughs before clearing her throat. “What?”

“Your hair,” He leans forward picking up a few strands, letting them fall from his ungloved fingers. “May I brush it?” His eyes, those damn beautiful eyes are looking at her. Earnestly willing her to submit to his request.

Grace could feel the blush creeping up her neck, darkening her cheeks the longer she stares at him.Before she can think better of it, her hand moves, offering up the brush.. “Sure….just be careful.”

Jaal smiled at her, one of those gentle looks that had her heart flipping inside. “Of course.”

Stop it Grace, she scolded herself, looking away from him as he settles on the bed behind her, large thighs encasing her between his legs.

Warmth radiating off of him enveloping her in his scent, his bioelectricity dancing down her back. Grace shivers when he touches her. Her arm erupted in goosebumps as her stomach fluttered, full of butterflies. She ducks her head, hiding her red cheeks while biting her lip. Jaal seemed almost hesitant as he ran the bristles through her locks.

“Like this?” He ask, breath hitting the back of her neck.

“You can be rougher.” Grace breathed before clearing her throat. “I mean you can put more pressure into it, my hair’s thick... got lots of tangles.” She closes her eyes, trying to wrangle in her thumping heart.

There was nothing going on between them...

Jaal made a sort of strange low noise almost a soft keen yet ended in a clearing of his throat before she felt the brush stroke through the strands gently but firmly.

Twice Grace opened her mouth to say something as he brushed her hair-twice her jaw snapped shut as the image of Peebee popped up in her mind. She wanted to ask him what was going on. Why he hovered around her, if he had something going on with Peebee or if this was just something his people did.

She didn’t want to read too much into something that wasn’t there.

Which is why Grace almost cried in relief when the baby pyjack climbed onto her bed and into her lap with a purring chirp. Her fingers went to stroke Perry. Her little pyjak seemed insanely happy to have his ‘mother’ around more often. So much so that his klepto “Gift Giving” habits had increased. At the moment he had some sort of tool.

Most likely Gil’s.

The monkey like creature held the tool out to her with a happy chirp as she scratched his head.

“Oooh I always wanted a...sonic screwdriver.” Grace crooned at Perry who made a happy trilling sound before nuzzling into her stomach. For a minute Grace can focus on Perry rather than the angara wrapped round her-

Till he speaks and her body attunes itself to him. The fact that his breath hits the top of her head, the way his muscular thighs seem to press into her, keeping her in place, how his hand runs the brush awkwardly through her hair while his other hand cups the back of her neck. Gentle and warm it makes her shiver when his thumb rubs her skin softly.

“Ryder,” There was a hesitant tug of the brush, Jaal’s voice brimming with nerves.

Grace bit her lip, holding her breath as she waited for him to speak. “I was wondering…..when you are better….if you’d like to go through Aya-with me-I mean eat on Aya with me….” He made a chuffing noise, like a big cat, at the end of his faltering sentence.

Gray eyes peered over her shoulder, looking at his face. Twin blue ocean’s glanced at her before skirting away. Her heart thumped hard against her chest, as she licks her lips.

Was he-

“You want me to go eat with you?” Her voice was soft, trembling just slightly.

Was he asking her out!?

“I-yes.” He looked up, capturing her gaze. “Would you like to accompany me….to the tavetaan? I hear there is an angara fruit that is most agreeable with humans.”

Was this a date?

Grace banished the thought, this was Jaal. An angara that didn’t know anything about human customs. Still her heart was beating rapidly against her ribs as her trembling fingers burying themselves into Perry’s fur.

Turning she smiled at him. “I’d love to.”

-----

It’s not a date.

It was a mantra she kept repeating in her head till the day came where she stood in front of the mirror in the Pathfinder quarters practicing breathing as she switched through all her clothes.

“Not a date.”

“Ryder,” SAM popped up on her desk. “Would you like me to ask Mr. Ama Darav if that is his intention?”

“NO!” Grace whirled around, hands waving. “Nooo no no. It’s not a date I’m just…” Building imaginary relationships with her crewmate because she was a lonely pathetic woman?

“Shit-” Grace turned to the mirror again picking up a tube of lipstick. “It’s not a date.”

Grace applies her mother's favorite burgundy colored lipstick before looking at her reflection. The color stands out bright against her tan skin and flushed cheeks. For a moment Grace pictures what the color would look like smeared across Jaal’s pink skin.

Grunting she wiped the color away on the back of her hand before sighing at the sight of her stained skin.

“I’m just pretending.” She whispered finally, shoulders slumping. “I have to remind myself not to read too much into someone's intentions.” She turns wiping the lipstick off on the silky sleeveless black shirt before tugging off the clothing that was far too inappropriate for this sort of thing.

There was nothing going on between her and Jaal.

He was being kind, showing her Aya when she hadn’t gotten the chance before. Probably trying to make up for the guilt. Or maybe showing her all of Aya wasn’t so bad, as she had experienced it as.

“How do you know the other's intentions if you never ask?” SAM inquired as Grace tossed on a pair of jeans and old well worn t-shirt.

Smoothing out the wrinkles of her shirt Grace stares at the mirror while pulling her hair into a ponytail. “Sometimes SAM, you don’t want to know their intentions.”

“What if they are what you want?”

“What you want isn’t always the best thing SAM.” Grace knew this from experience. She thought she wanted her last boyfriend, and that turned out to be a huge mistake on her part. “Sometimes taking the gamble isn’t worth the price you pay.”

“As you say, Ryder.” SAM’s orb disappeared from her desk as she tightened her ponytail, telling herself she wasn’t a coward.

She didn’t want or need to be in a relationship, and this was for the best, she didn’t want to embarrass herself in front of Jaal, to make things awkward between them when she was finally managing a friendship between them.

Jaal met her at the Tempest ramp, he seemed to be overjoyed to see her, as he swept her up in his arms and purred against her shoulder.

“It is good to see you on your feet Grace!” He laughed.

She gave a small nervous chuckle in turn. Her thoughts drifted wondering if this was a celebration that she survived…

“Come, we have much to see.” Jaal hummed, his bioelectricity danced across her skin creating warmth and goosebumps. He grabs her hand and proceeds to walk across the street, Grace has to jog to keep up with his long strides.

She’s silent for a moment, searching her mind for something to say as she tries to keep pace with him. “....Jaal.”

“Yes Little One,” Jaal peered down at her, his strides slowing to accommodate her her shorter legs.

“I-uh...Thanks for doing this.” She’s blushing again and wants to smack herself for acting like a teenager with her first crush.

Get it together!

Jaal beams at her, eyes crinkling with pure joy. Grace struggles to breath beneath his gaze. “It is not a problem, I am all too pleased to be taking you out.” He stops and lowers himself till they are face to face. Grace goes still, eyes wide while a big hand cups the side of her face. “I am glad to see you well.”

Holy shit.

Grace shook her head, following him as he tugged on her hand. She had seen it on Voeld and here on Aya, the angara were a hypersocial people. Constantly touching and hugging. Leaning into one another as they talked. This wasn’t anything else, he was just being who he was raised to be.

But even as she logically thought out the facts, Grace could feel her heart clench as he pulled her to his side to squeeze through a crowd. How her stomach flipped when he dropped an arm around her shoulder to anchor her to him as they walked into the Tavetaan. Logically his actions made sense, but her heart kept telling her there was more to Jaal’s actions.

Despite her best efforts, Grace found her glass heart wanting to give another shot at a possible pain that would utterly destroy her.

Jaal guided her to a secluded corner table overlooking Aya. the table was surprisingly small compared to all the other tables meant for large gatherings.

“Here Ryder.” He pulled a chair out for her to sit. She raised a brow at this.

Very gentlemanly…

“Thanks...Jaal?” She hesitantly took a seat looking expectantly as he stood by the table beaming down at her. “Are you...are you going to sit?”

“I will, after I get the food.” He’s bouncing on his feet like an excited puppy now. “I’ll go get it.” He paused. “Are you comfortable?”

“I am.” She raises a brow as he seems to think something over then nod to himself.

“Okay I’ll be right back.” He’s beaming when he turns to leave but stopped to look back at Grace. “Stay put...okay?”

She rolled her eyes at his tone before nodding her head. She couldn’t help but smile at his enthusiasm. Tracing her scar, Grace looked out at the tables, seeing angara families gathered around, most laughing and being boisterous, but there was one table that caught her eye. A couple leaning into one another. The female was perched on the male's lap, she was smiling gently running the pad of her finger down his nose before kissing the flap tip.

Grace looked away from the intimate moment to her hands.

“SAM,” Grace started popping her knuckles as the AI stirred to life in the back of her mind. “Do me a favor and look up angara customs and cultures. I think it’s time we start learning about our new neighbors.”

“Of course, Ryder.” SAM was quiet for a moment. “Shall I start compiling all the data?”

“Uh….categorize them. Important, not important, and things you think I would find interesting.” Grace leaned back in her chair, starting to scan the crowd.

What was taking him so long?

“I will do that right away.” SAM disappeared and Grace was left to her silents and crowd watching.

As the minutes ticked by the the lone human started gardening more attention, Grace decided it might be best to go find her angara-Jaal….he wasn’t her angara.

Grace groaned and stood, her small stature made it easy to weave through the thin parts of the crowd.

Grace caught sight of him quickly as his form tended to loom over everyone else's. She almost called out to him, but all words died in her throat as she choked on a sudden inhale.

Jaal stood amidst the scattered crowd of the Tavetaan, but he was not alone. He had his arms wrapped around a pretty pink female angara who was pressing her head into his.

There was a burning pain in her chest, where her heart lay. Sucking in a sharp breath, Grace tried to turn away but found herself transfixed on the scene before her. Watching as the pink angara reached up cupping Jaal’s face and laid a gentle kiss across his cheek.

Like a biotic punch to her sternum, pain radiated out of her chest stealing the very breath from her lungs. Fisting her shirt, Grace about-faced and started walking in the other directions. No destination in mind other then she just had to get away.

Unfortunately it seemed she had been seen as she tried to slip through the crowd.

“Grace!” She heard Jaal call.

Sucking in a ragged breath, Grace debated making a run for it before she decided she was being ridiculous. Trying to control her shaking, Grace turned towards Jaal.

“GRACE!” Jaal was jogging towards her. “Where are you going?”

“I uh...I’m not feeling good?” She winces at the uncertainty, but Jaal doesn’t seem to notice as concern immediately crosses his face.

“Is it your wound?!” He’s closing in on her reaching for her shirt as if to check the healed injury.

Grace shakes her head stepping back. “No!” She crosses her arms to keep him from flashing everyone on the street. “No I’m just-” Jealous, hurt, confused about these feeling that I shouldn’t have- “Dizzy.”

“I’ve heard of this.” Jaal suddenly lifts her, placing her onto a nearby table. “I will get you some water. Lexi has informed me on some of the causes of dizziness.” He’s petting her hair, crooning gently at her while Grace’s cheeks flame.

“Jaal?” A sweet voice comes from behind the broad shouldered male and he immediately stiffens. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing,” He looks over his shoulder, shifting to block whomever it was.

Grace’s brow dips in confusion as he seems to be actively trying to keep Grace out of sight.

“Oooh nothing? Or someone?” The voice purrs before growling. “Jaal. MOVE.” The pink female pushed him out of her way before she let out a delighted gasp at the sight of Grace fidgeting beneath her equally blue eyes.

Eyes that look like a sea of stars.

“Oh, she’s adorable!” Annnnd Grace was being hugged by a stranger…. again.

Jaal huffs as he stands, hovering over the pair. “Grace, this is my sister Veala.” He explains, face pinching a bit.

Sister.

Grace felt like smacking herself as relief flooded her veins.

“Uh hi.”

Her awkwardness must not have translated because the pink anga- Veala, just seemed to brighten at the sound of her voice. “Oh Jaal! She even sounds adorable!” Okay so adorable was a good thing… right? It meant his sister liked her….right?

Veala is cuddling her close, petting her ponytail. “And so soft! Avela was right!” She hums before pulling away. “I was just telling Jaal,” Veala shot her brother a look. “The Ama Darav mothers are not happy that he hasn’t told them about you.”

“Why would he tell them about me? I thought he was only allowed to send reports to Evfra?” Grace was confused, more so when Veala gasped and began to wag a finger at her brother.

“Jaal Ama Darav! You STILL haven't told her?! Ooooh! I’m telling Sahuna!”

“Veala no!” Jaal’s hands shot out, immediately grasping the pink angara’s shoulders and giving Grace a pained look. “Give me a moment Grace, I must speak with my sister.”

“Uh,” Grace looked between them, suspicious. This wasn’t the first time Grace suspected Jaal was hiding something. Anjik and Avela had all mentioned something about a bond, even the Moshae had alluded to something, and now Jaal’s sister who, at the moment, was giving him the most exasperated look….

“Sure….I’ll head back to the ship.” she would question him later. What was a bond? Why was Sahuna so upset with Jaal for not telling her about Grace? What he was hiding from her?

“NO!” Jaal protested, his sudden booming voice startling both Grace and Veala.

“Uh you okay there Big Gu-mph!” Grace squeaked at the sudden massive angaran arms pulling her into an equally massive angaran chest where he stood cooing and purring over her.

“You can’t walk through the city alone!” she’s trying to figure out why the hell he sounds so… panicked? anxious?... before Grace feels something nuzzling the top of her head and starts to turn red.

Was he coddling her!?

“Jaal!” Grace squirms in his hold, but the aforementioned massively muscled arms just tighten around her. “No.”

Grace grunts as she grumbles beneath her breath. “Okay, okay. Fine!” She shoves at him, well, she tries to shove at him. “I won’t go anywhere.”

“Promise?” He purrs the question, rubbing his cheek against her head. Her breath hitches as she freezes in his arms. What the fuck is he doing?

“Yes-now let go.” Grace gripped at her shirt as he pulls back a bit, beaming at her.

“Stay put, when I’m done I’ll get you some food. It will help with the dizziness.”

As he stood back with Veala, talking with her in a quiet voice, probably communicating more with their bioelectricity. Grace can’t seem to look away from him. The longer she finds herself staring... the harder her heart races.

The unwelcome realization comes to her the moment he looks her way, a soft smile curving his lips.

She realizes how supremely fucked she is. Because Grace Ryder was falling in love with Jaal Ama Darav, and that never bode well for Grace. Because when she loved... it crumbled underfoot, turning to ash and dust, leaving her burned in the process.

Hello Lovelies! I know its been a while, you'll have to forgive the tardiness. Life has been sucker punching me hard. but no worries I haven't given up on this story! Updates might be once a month since schools started again but I'll try to keep them regular now. I have a HUGE thanks to all of your love and support! You guys have been awesome I couldn't ask for better readers.

And as always I have to say a thank you to @lunamkardas, if not for her constant support this chapter would have made it to the light of day!

And now a note from @lunamkardas:

THERE YA GO YA THIRSTY BITCHES AND BROS. HAVE MO SEXY PINK MAN.

Until next time: She wasn't avoiding him per say, just choosing to leave the room when he entered....that was cowardice just strategy!

#Jaal x F!Ryder #jaal ama darav #mass effect jaal #jaal x ryder #jaal x sara #soulmates #mass effect andromeda #Mass Effect

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bonobojosocialcommand-blog · 5 years ago

Text

My name is Raven Gray and I have a story to tell.

Raven is a trickster in the prevailing view of mythology of which I know very little of and profess to know even less in the era of falsified understanding and also, that there is a whole system of thought here that I can only illuminate as the aptitude of my archetype would allow, that of a guide for travelers, as I assume we all are on some level, traveling from one universal guise to the next, some thru the underworld and some in the more bracing and binding spot light of the mainstream that, in this rendition of the world and it’s ways, went thru a time of crisis and a time of change and ultimately a transformation of which this narrative talks of deeper things in the CDN context, ciphered in order to deflect the idea that I can do anything about the current problems I have and so have created this fantasy-scape in order to escape from the bondage of duality and the menace of plurality and the demonized universality that I encounter daily, no I write this as a warning and as a piece of satire and as a filament of revenge and a notation to the Goddess that I seek to serve her and in what regard does Kali require me to be a warrior on the field of battle because underworld guise is a short-form for corruption and so this is not something you can do for very long before you realize, your an outlaw in a broken system.

Now how did I manage that?

I can’t really say so I will disclose what it was like to be sixteen at a time when context collapsed, noticeably speaking.

My parents are my guardians and they work for the State in one capacity for another, in the medical system, coming home one day with sorrow in their eyes but saying very little. I didn’t know what to make of this because I stay home from school, home schooled by a neighbor and only going into town once or a twice a week for supplies and to say hi to people that have ties to the rural economy, whatever that happens to be in this instance. We are a town on the lake,and big money on the lake too, always been there, more on the American side of things, Hollywood choosing NWO as being the place to coincide with their desire for privacy. The timber mills have been revived recently but it’s all robots, and the tourism, well, my parents kept me away from it. They keep me out of sight, really, and it’s been like that for a long time. I lasted one year in school and my parents pulled me out after that year. I can’t really say what happened, it was too long ago but whatever the case may be, I had a surprise the next morning when my dad was on the phone, usually emphatic about things, curiously defeated and laconic in his ministration to me after he clicked off from her.

Do what she wants.

I always do, I said.

No, really, he said. If she says to lick her ass, do it.

I’m sure it won’t be necessary I said but my ears burned and my mom wouldn’t let me out the door.

You look like a disgrace right now. Go up and change your fucking shirt. Tighter pants. And fucking do something about your breath. Stupid fuck.

I ignored her. I always do because I can for some reason, something about the way I got here and the way it went at school, I live at home and I educate myself continually on anything and everything available. I want to be a commando some day and my mom assures me I will, when she’s not bitching at me to take care of my physical appearance. I took my time and she took it as a signal to show up, unannounced. She’s not my real mom, I don’t have a real mom that I know about, not in the real sense of being related by virtue of exception; I seem to be exceptional and that is not my doing and not for me to know what’s been chosen for me, and why I should abide by that social selection. She told me to not wear underwear.

I said what?

You want to be a commando right?

Oh fuck off.

She hit me with the back of her hand.

Off.

Fuck you.

What? Do you know what could happen if you don’t go over there and it goes well. Do you know what could happen to us?

No…what…fuck man…stop scaring me…why can’t you say something about this…I told you…

Because there is no fucking way, don’t you get it…we are on the wrong side and you aren’t on any side, don’t you understand…you read A Star Named Henry like we told you right? Just fucking do it Raven fuck man I don’t have time for this fuckery, I have my own things to do before…

Oh God I thought but it came out of my mouth and I cautiously brought down my jeans and let my guardian pick the outfit for what was supposed to be a yard work gig followed by some kind of tutoring for a friend from Taiwan?

Just make it works she said, pointing at the thing between my legs. What is that?

What?

That?

It’s your foreskin.

Yes.

Wait…

I can’t believe she did that but walking out the door, I didn’t feel undesirable even if I had to go and clean something, realizing suddenly what will happen if it’s not that way…

And as I try to learn from life, that is a lesson in being good to yourself…

I remember this time very well for what came later. It was a crisis and people were dying. I know because I saw them on the road, in the cars, other cars pulled up and they were just looking around and I melted by on my bike and they didn’t see me go by or at least I didn’t think so because I was up above on the roads above the highway, paved and discrete from the gravel interstice of the old mining sector and a necessary risk when going to see Addie Packer and her friend Minnie from Taiwan, a young exchange student who fortuitously, answered the door without looking this way or that, asking me how the weather was. I was about to say…

And they held up their hands.

It’s the white terror but now it’s gray terror and people are scared about the focus of the surveillance that has taken over the public trust without scaling itself as anything. I know what happened with Snowden but I don’t trust it in the sense that he depends on Russia for his abiding safety from the USA, maybe it is the USSA at this point…like how does this even work and so I’m not Snowden but I also recognize when people are looking at me and so they are scared, not so much about the cocaine they have hidden in the compost toilet of the cabin way up in the mining zone of Timber Town, and how that works for the people who come from LA and Berlin and Moscow to party in places that are so discrete, you would think there was something in the hillside. I know from my sojourns there is something to think about here, and this part of the world, NWO, it’s perfect in the central sense of being central, close to the center of the Country and where the State retreated too when Canada fell apart for the last time, and the Resistance scattered, things looking dire here and so Taiwan has a certain interest in placating this particular aberration while it lasts, it’s only been two days without police on the job and we can say light entertainment on television where the death panels aren’t operating and you can’t see anything that you don’t want to, so we have to put up our own show and it was easy to see what it would be now that I’m in the mode. Waiting in the wings was hard to do in the sense that I always knew I had a purpose, and as a frame of reference, I had to express myself and not betray any hint of the calamity happening off-screen, in non-data world and in the involuntary mixture of finances, crimes and investor confidence such as the terminal liquidity of the dollar ended and the yuan was too toxic to be spent on necessities and so things became social currency in so many ways, hence the brick of cocaine and the handguns.

We spent some time shooting that day. I had a Mauser 9mm they had Glocks, they had an AK that had a buck to it. They gave me a .32 to use in case something crazy happened when I went to certain people’s houses as I went to do the yard work and there was no one there. I came home and my mother started to cry. I turned around and said, what can I do about this and went waited on the steps of their house until they came home, surprised to see me still there after three hours in the cold, waiting for someone to come by, knowing what was at stake if I didn’t show up. After that, and what happened, the risk to me, they sent me to Addie and Minnie to get sorted out and get in play of where I need to be when I needed to be there. My parents had time to hide and so they did. The team that showed up. Couldn’t get in. Couldn’t get it. They could get me but they didn’t want me like that and so finally the Stressors came home and Mrs. Stressor told me that I looked like I was a wraith and I should wear baggier clothes. But at the same time, the woodshed needed to be cleaned and so could I please go there and start?

It was a much delayed event. Once you get sucked into this headspace you realize how macabre it is to think attention is connection, yes it is, but there is something else there too and IDK what it is. Man cannot live on bread alone and people watching other people don’t have agency like they think because on the outside at the outset, the woman in question had control. But I was the object of desire and there was some kind of moment of decision that had left normal parlance in the dust and so there weren’t words for how she felt and she just cried and cried and cried and said sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt anyone…

And then we had to lay down and yes, I did lick her asshole…and she paid me to do so and paid me to be around, to keep her company and to talk to people for her such as it was underworld guise to do so. That was the code for corruption such as Canada became too corrupt, too evil and an extra-judicial State form of tribunal came from abroad and deposed the weak central authority until they ran for parts North of Winnipeg, but really Minaki, that’s where the State ended up. Why there is always killing involved in power politics, doesn’t have to be but for some reasons, these idiots thought it was fine to take a shot at the State or what’s left of it and greased some innocent people. No? What is this then, and who made these friends of my family so unhappy? I can’t tell for sure because I know nothing of the world outside my home town for not having been there in time, that is I traveled when I was young, to New York, Cape Town, Mumbai and Jerusalem, my real parents disappeared, my guardians are religious folk with ties to evangelicals but also involved in organized crime that I learned about slowly as it was obvious who I was to be if they could outlast the present regime of terrorists.

Now it’s gray terror and it’s all fucked up.

I was going to leave the Stressor’s but Mr. Stressor told me to stay and we went out on the deck and he started up the BBQ. I asked him what he thought and he said of what.

Of me giving you a blowjob right now.

Oh IDK about that.

No?

What did you want?

Well…

Oh I see, how about we wait for another day and involve your friend in there…

How do you mean?

Well, I’ll sketch it out for you electronically and get back to you…people need to see something to calm them during this time of uncertainty…I hate gray terror, it’s social extortion, but where is the State?

In hiding, in Minaki.

I’m as much the State of influence at 16 and doing what for this man for others to see as desperation equity, like these people want some kind of fleshly tribute and in that way all I can do is thank Google for the pop-up historicfact, Rome was run by prostitutes in the Tenth Century and the Pope was assassinated in Belgium and that was because the Swiss Guards were absent and ISIS found the pontiff and there was going to be a war, so we had a chance, but only if we got it together and got this cordon up and the State back on it’s feet. I have to get to Minaki somehow and there are insurgents everywhere, more like irregulars that are not loyal to the Sun State such as narco-democracy is going to outwit this particular calamity in function and in form. The only problem is, some men like this, don’t like drugs and I have to say to him, I can perform that way if I take this drug and he says, fuck this, I hate dope and what it does to people. We go for a ride and I try to convince him. Just let me do what I need to do, your wife did and it was fine. I’m not letting you do this when I want to do that; I know I said, so what’s the hold up?

There is none he said. Take off your pants and get the fuck out of the car you little fuck.

And he threw me out, in my home district, on the wavy roads with no way to get back to safety except through the cross fire of endurance and desecration because there are trucks loading and there are convoys racing and I don’t know where I am but in the woods and naked and how did I get here because he took everything off me and I will remember him for being so smug and so delirious at the same time.

I was found but not in the way I thought. Some hikers got to me that night, hikers with lights, they were berry hunting in the dark and they were not clothed, either. I couldn’t believe it, and it was Addie’s gofer, given who Addie was in the Party, she had perks and one of them, was a houseperson, and so that one stood in for her and the real article came out to look for me, sans pyjama and with her friend Suzette, a big Native woman that also took off the finery to escort me to safety in some kind of context zone given that physicality had taken over and we are on the knife edge of solidity and solvency and sobriety and context is portable and they hooked me up to a context machine, and it’s only been forty five minutes since I disappeared from the car, a date gone wrong, he thought he was getting his dick sucked but I thought he was going to kill me and so I ended up naked in the back of his car and I ran and now he’s got some explaining to do and his wife is currently telling him fuck off and he shrugs and they are going to have a fight that she can’t win but also she doesn’t need to given what they suggest about me. Get Him Out of the Woods and into Town and get him working at North Works, NOW, get him out and about, the conquerors are in town and they will get to Minaki if they know where it is, it’s 60 miles separating this and the end of the Earth, get the fuck on your bike and start riding okay, it’s an old suspension model and yes you are wearing clothes but you won’t always be able to, so remember that, just do what you have to do for the conquerors, who are looking alien species anyway and have abdicated share social understanding in favor of purity of mind that is only dedicated to one thing: consumption.

Let them consume you and let them feast on your beautiful body. You are going to be outside, it’s summer in NWO and there is lots of traffic and this is parallel conceit, you are invisible except for people that need to see you. Go. And yes, you can do that before you go, if it gives you courage.

No, it’s like communion.

Explain?

I can’t…it’s the breath of death, captured in a little bit of moisture between your posterior elements…

Whatever keeps you alive my sweetling…

And she kissed my mouth, Addie Packer, fucking Commie and the only reason I’m alive right now. My guardians?

IDK where they are and I might never see them again.

On the bike, the pressure is insurmountable as long as I remember that I am who?

What?

Where?

Blowing through that push and if it gets tense, clothes are coming off in this gray terror such as I get to the top of the first hill and have an idea, from Addie Packer of course, why not just strip down mostly anyway and live it like that, and dare them to intervene, they want us lower than them anyway, this red faction in a blue town, not that it matters, I’m Gray and Blue and Red have always been fighting and black is always completely in the enforceable dimension of notoriety, Blacksburg Virginia, remember that shit from KillTube? I have seen Kill Tube and I have isolated from that strata of insanity such as it seems on the way in that there is some kind of unearthly providential experience happening and people just walking right by me in the dark and don’t say anything and I don’t know what they are doing, but I’m naked and it’s funny to think of me riding down the dirt road in NWO, nothing on me but a backpack with provisions and trying to skirt the pressure, and the filaments of danger such as I couldn’t make the turn on the T to go left so I went straight and I went up the big hill, streaking my whole neigbhorhood, this bare bum flashing by and everyone that was out, not saying a word.

I won’t say about my front because I was endowed like a prince and it was a mystery to me, because it got in the way, trying to do stuff, I could literally sit on my dick. No really, I had a big fucking wang and so when it came to it, Bridget the neighbor rode out with nothing on and I was like, huh, that’s what she looks like and she was huh, I knew what he looked like and I was like what the fuck am I going to do with this cos we have to ride but is there a hurry? We are on the highway and there is a way in the woods to ride for a long stretch that is parallel to the asphalt but terminates in a swamp. We pick the swamp route and she says literally, let’s go thru the swamp. Both of us are naked riding bikes in the middle of the blazing hot midnight sun such as it’s sweltering, that’s why I do it, take my clothes off, you have to understand it’s a lot hotter than it used to be and she agrees, this Bridget of my life and she is like, yo, stop staring at my butt and I was like, sorry honey, I can’t not, it’s big…

What?

Don’t slap me.

Look, I have to tell you she said as we dismounted and walked our bikes into the undergrowth, looking at the onrushing headlights as if it was a dream. Everyone is so busy they can’t see us right now but when they can, they aren’t going to be happy with anything you say, they are going to cluster around you and put thoughts in your head that they then act on and so if you don’t have the right thoughts, the Machine will kill you, or so they say, IDK, I have wrestled with it recently. It killed my friends she said, I’m one of the few left and now I do things on the side of the road for people that remember their bodies and have compassion or just need to put on a show or like the way my body looks when it’s nude because I don’t wear very much any more and so the partisans are naked socially but clothed culturally such as they are the shock troops of an eco-movement that is heading this direction after having been routed in Copenhagen according to some kind of news source, and who got routed, for what, do they mean routed like shown the way and then pointed themselves to their destination, or eliminated from battle?

Will we ever know?

In the meantime, the eco movement isn’t touch with me, so I have to get in touch with it, and it might be the wrong eco fascists for this guy. Angie is going to get me thru the swamp but I have to get up the lake and into town on my own. That shouldn’t be that hard once I get onto the Winnipeg River and into one of the rich Brits have vacation properties here now and it’s all Potemkin and I know vaguely where the sore sports are, and the sweet spots and I know people think I’m the Second Coming but who cares, it’s not important what people think, it’s important I get to flesh out the necessity of content in a fractious time and illuminate my surroundings with the providence of my own time in the sun and my own passage towards grace and understanding of the necessities and duties that come with a life well lived. A life not undone and I ask her, can I hug you before we plunged into the swamp?

She says yes and then pushes me down for tribute.

The Planet of the Bonobos has already started and I am the chief of their tribe.

#amwriting #draft #underworldguisecontent

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