#Can we please stop holding book characters to these crazy standards

[spicysoftsweet]

Chapter 9

Masterlist

tw character death

Mitsuya was used to listening to crying, comfortable even. It was a normal human response after all, and his sisters cried all the time.

But Kumi cried in a very odd way he wasn’t exactly prepared for. Without warning, in the middle of a conversation about her and his plans for high school and beyond, tears had started to run down her cheeks and her speech had paused for a moment, before she continued to speak as though nothing had happened.

She wiped her tears with the back of her hand as though she’d simply sprung a leak, and promptly continued, her voice wobbling a little, but still smiling.

“I-if I at least stay in T-Tokyo after graduation, we can still be friends even if we don’t go to the same high school, right?”

He furrowed his eyebrows.

“Why wouldn’t we stay friends?” He asked, confused.

She grinned widely from across the low table in his home, her eyes shining still.

“Promise you won’t get tired of me.”

Mitsuya looked at Kumi’s obvious forced smile and wondered if Toman was the only thing Baji had dropped. His behavior was stranger than usual definitely, but maybe he was really just showing his true colors. Even if defecting to an opposing gang was unreasonable (even by Baji standards), Baji and Kazutora had always been terribly close, and if Kazutora changed, so could the latter.

“I won’t,” he replied.

He, like Mikey, didn’t want to end up fighting his friend, but he wouldn’t mind landing one solid punch for good measure.

---

“I don’t know if I wanna be an angel this year,” Kumi mused as she walked out of the convenience store down the street with her best friend trailing closely behind her. She unwrapped a lollipop, sighing before popping it into her mouth. “You get to look cute and sexy in the devil costume and I’m probably going to look like a nun,” she pouted.

Kaksi took the bag of discounted pre-Halloween candy from her and fished for a milk chocolate bar, unwrapping it for a bite.

“We can trade if you want.”

Kumi turned to her with surprise, but Kaksi grinned appropriately devilishly.

“But you won’t look scary at all, so how can you be a devil?” With that, she held the bar in her teeth and squished Kumi’s cheeks, causing the latter to frown and swat away at her hands.

“Stop!” She whined.

Kaksi laughed louder, which led to her chocolate falling to the ground which had her gasp in dismay.

“Karma,” Kumi pretend-disguised the remark with a loud cough, wincing as Kaksi gave her a slap on the shoulder, then giggled back. “Don’t worry, you can have mine.”

“As I deserve,” Kaksi said, then glanced at her watch. “We should head there quickly, the store will close soon.”

“Mm.”

The girls managed to find their way to the corner shop and picked out their outfits, taking pictures together as they tried their accessories, a white halo for Kumi and a pair of red devil horns for Kaksi.

“You didn’t want to trade?” Kaksi asked, looking through their pics on her flip phone as they walked home, shopping bags in hand. “We can still swap if you want.”

Kumi shook her head.

“My parents are already being too lenient by letting me go out for the parade tomorrow in the first place, so putting on leather on top of that will probably be pushing it,” she said, with a dramatic sigh.

Kaksi laughed.

“You know, for a moment I was wondering if you’d change being around gang members for so long, but it seems like you’re still a goody two-shoes after all.”

Kumi smiled in response but her smile was a little less bright this time, and Kaksi frowned. She’d almost gotten over the sting of Kazutora essentially breaking things off with her but she had to remember that Kumi’s situation was still fresh in her heart.

An idea suddenly popped into her head, and she grabbed Kumi’s hand suddenly, turning around to face her.

Kumi’s eyes widened as Kaksi’s beamed.

“Hey, we’re gonna be friends forever, right? A pair, you and me, right?’.

Kumi nodded slowly in agreement, not exactly sure where Kaksi was getting at. Of course, she was her best friend.

“So… I think we should make a pact,” she proposed.

“What kind of pact?”

The sun was starting to set, pinker than usual, and with the wind picking up in that late October evening, Kumi had the feeling that whatever Kaksi was about to say next would be terribly poignant. She found herself holding her breath, as Kaksi continued.

“When we’re old maids later on in life, we should just buy a huge house in the woods and live together. We can get dogs and cats and make a garden where we grow our own food and not worry about any mean losers that just fight all the time. We’ll buy lots of books and play music all day and you can do all the cooking because I hate cooking but it’ll be amazing. What do you think?”

Kumi’s smile was genuine this time. She clasped her other hand over Kaksi’s warm ones.

“It sounds amazing.”

Maybe Kaksi was the only person she really needed after all, Kumi thought.

---

Even if Kumi was trying to focus on literally anything else aside from Baji, there was a small part of her that still worried about the tension brewing between the Tokyo Manji gang and Valhalla, and the thought of another brawl landing him or even Mitsuya in the hospital seemed to haunt her. It didn’t help that Mitsuya had told her that there would be ‘Toman business’ on the afternoon of Halloween and so he’d have to pass on going to the parade with her and Kaksi. She had insisted that they could all go, and he’d told her that there was something big, without really giving her additional details.

Big was not good when it came to gangs.

All day Kumi dwelled on it until she felt that she had to say something by the time lunchtime rolled around, starting with a long sigh to feign nonchalance.

“So I know we’re not supposed to discuss they-who-must-not-be-named anymore,” she started, stopping abruptly when Kaksi raised her eyebrow at her, “but I feel like something bad’s gonna happen.”

“Like what?” Kaksi asked, barely looking up from her plate.

Kumi frowned.

“I don’t know, Mitsuya wouldn’t really tell me but supposedly they’re preparing for something today and with all that’s going on it seems like it might be a bigger deal this time,” she continued. At this point, Kaksi’s curiosity must have been piqued because she finally looked at her then propped her face up by her elbow on the table.

A slight embarrassment ran over Kumi when she considered how obvious it was that she was still worried about Baji despite the fact that he’d been awful to her, while her friend seemed to take everything in stride.

While Kaksi seemed to be thinking, Kumi decided instead to content herself with spoonfuls of rice.

“Maybe I am nosy,” she laughed out loud for a moment once a couple minutes passed. She considered the idea of showing up again, in front of Baji who probably only found her annoying by now, and she considered that the idea of being chased away a second time was too much to bear. Maybe if she didn’t annoy him, she could pretend that they hadn’t really broken up, just drifted apart. That would work, wouldn’t it?

“Well I’m curious now,” Kaksi said, rising suddenly.

Kumi remembered this exact scenario from just a couple days ago and immediately regretted saying anything.

“Actually maybe this time we shouldn’t-” she began.

“It’s just information. We don’t have to do anything about it,” Kaksi insisted. Kumi agreed.

“Let’s try to ask someone after school.”

...

The school seemed to empty out before either girl could corner a single person. It was odd really, and when they reunited from their different classes, both grimaced as they realized they had absolutely no intel for each other.

Despite the nagging feeling in the back of her mind, Kumi went home to prepare for the evening parade after separating from Kaksi at her house. Walking the rest of the way, she contemplated further the idea of getting over her feelings completely, reanalyzing nearly all of their interactions over the past couple of years to determine what she had missed. This only made her sadder, and by the time she was nearly at her door, she was holding back sniffles.

She hated the fact that she cried so easily.

Not paying attention to where she was going, she found herself running into another boy her age, surprised when she realized it was Yamagishi of all people, one of Takemitchi’s friends that she’d seen a couple times but not really interacted with.

“Oh my gosh, sorry!”

Yamagishi looked at her in surprise.

“Kumi-chan, what are you doing here?”

She tilted her head, surprised by the question, pointing to her house a few paces away.

“I live here?”

Yamagishi’s face turned a deep shade of red, and he laughed nervously.

“Ah, yes… well, it was nice to run into you,” he said, politely, dashing in the opposite direction.

Kumi thought about the weird encounter and considered shrugging her shoulders and going on her way, but then she stopped in her tracks, and ran back to catch up to him.

“Hey!”

Yamagishi stopped, surprised and looked at her in surprise. Kumi faltered a little, phrasing the question, then blurted out, “you know a lot about gang stuff, right?”

Yamagishi scratched his head sheepishly but was clearly pleased. “Yeah, of course. I can literally tell you anything!”

Kumi nodded. “Have you heard about anything big happening tonight? With Tokyo Manji or…?” She didn’t outright say Valhalla, but it was the more pressing question for her.

Yamagishi furrowed his brow.

“Toman’s going to have a huge fight today, if it hasn’t already started…”

Kumi held her breath.

“Where?”

“There’s an old junkyard. I considered going just to see, just because I know it would be crazy, but my parents wanted me home unless I’d get in trouble. They’re going against Valhalla, everyone in the delinquent community knows about it.”

Her heart thumped, and she immediately went ahead to send a text to Kaksi to meet up with her immediately.

“Please tell me where it is.”

---

By the time the girls made it (with multiple wrong turns) to the junkyard, where there were even more people than the Valhalla hideout those couple days before, the fight was more than half over.

At least in sheer numbers,the crowd had already started to thin from Valhalla’s 300, including Baji, Kazutora, and the tall, lanky and obnoxious-sounding boy the girls would later know to be Hanma, and Toman’s 150, including Mikey, the source of all their problems, Kisaki and the rest of the gang they knew well. There were enough bruises and injuries and unconscious boys to go around, and while Kumi and Kaksi froze in space, their eyes quickly scanned the crowd for those that they cared about the most.

The first thing Kumi saw in the distance upon arrival - what they both saw - was the knife in Baji’s hands.

A knife that was raised to the heavens, loud words that sounded like nonsense to her tumbling out of his mouth, and a bold smile on his face.

What is he-

Before Kumi could even process the situation further, or even take account of the other bodies in the junkyard, Baji plunged that very knife straight into his abdomen.

And her heart stopped.

“Kei!”

Maybe his eyes widened for a moment as he searched for her voice, and he did finally see her running towards him, as he collapsed immediately into Chifuyu’s arms who were closer, stronger and faster.

He hadn’t factored this into his move.

In fact he’d thought about what he was doing but he hadn’t really thought at all, had he? Just doing whatever it took to save Kazutora.

Making his death matter.

Bambi, I…

“Kei!” Kumi screamed again, crying this time as she ran, until she found herself intercepted by Mitsuya who saw her run into the fray in time and held her back.

“Let me go!” She shrieked.

Mitsuya said nothing, but held on to her with all his strength, arms tightening as he turned her away, as her screams mixed with Chifuyu’s.

“Someone call an ambulance! Someone stop the bleeding! Please let me,” she sputtered and choked for a moment, losing the ability to breathe. “Let me help him!”

There was nothing she could do. Mitsuya’s grip was like iron and his hold felt like betrayal, and as she watched Baji, turned away from her while he said his final words, her stomach writhed in despair.

Her voice seemed to die in her throat.

“P-please let me go,” she continued helplessly, knowing that Mitsuya wouldn’t give in even for a second, and once she had lost the strength to scream hysterically any longer and her legs grew unsteady, he allowed her to fall to her knees and double over in sobs.

This was cruel, Mitsuya thought, but he could see that Kazutora and Mikey’s standoff was escalating and she couldn’t be in the middle.

Kaksi covered her mouth as she took in Baji’s corpse in turn and it seemed as though time had gone to a stand still until she heard the sickening crunch of Mikey’s knuckles connecting with Kazutora’s jaw.

“I’ll kill you!”

The words came out of Mikey’s mouth, repeated like a mantra and with them, his punches were heavy and relentless; Kaksi could sense the immediate intent to kill.

She couldn’t pretend she didn’t understand why. Kumi was curled into a ball beside her and within Mitsuya’s reach, still sobbing inconsolably while Chifuyu’s eyes clearly went in and out of focus, staring at his friend’s body. She could see the subtle pain behind Mikey’s voidless eyes.

Mikey was absolutely going to kill him.

Her feet moved on their own, faster than she had ever done before, dodging the arms that attempted to stop her. Kaksi could feel her heart racing and her stomach turning at the sight of her ex-boyfriend’s blood being splashed onto the floor. She couldn’t understand why no one was stopping them.

Baji…

Baji had just injured himself and this fight needed to end. So she didn’t think twice, loudly screaming at them to stop before getting in between Kazutora and Toman’s leader. She faced Mikey while her ex-boyfriend was shielded by her back, even though she was slightly smaller than him and much weaker.

The look in Mikey’s eyes was one she had never seen before. She shivered, realizing in what position she had just put herself in. But Kaksi couldn’t turn back now. The fury in his eyes spoke for him and she was unsure about what would happen to her at that moment. Takemichi stood behind while Chifuyu was still focused on Baji’s cold body in his arms. He watched the scene unfold, holding his breath but thankful that the girl had been quick to act.

“Get out of my way,” Mikey told her in an icy voice.

“Mikey, ple-”

Kaksi’s eyes widened as she felt Mikey’s strong hold on her. She let out a whimper as she felt herself pushed to the side, violently falling onto the ground. Everyone surrounding them watched in shock as Mikey aimed for Kazutora again. Takemichi took a step forward but to his relief, Kaksi was standing up again.

The pain from her fall was still present but she didn’t hesitate to run over to Mikey again, this time wrapping her arms around his waist and pulling him back as hard as she could. He hit her once with his elbow and she cried out, unsure about being able to take another hit. Unfortunately, Kaksi only managed to put him off balance slightly despite being taller than Mikey and giving it all her strength.

The second hit she received had her fall back down, her hands as well as her knees covered in blood and dirt. That hurt, her breathing was heavier this time and she took a moment before standing up again. But the sight of Kazutora’s bloodied face and the sound of Mikey’s knuckles meeting bones was too much.

“Stop!” she screamed again, even louder than the first time, throwing her body in between the two boys again.

The sound of Draken’s voice calling out the girl’s name could be heard as his eyes followed Mikey’s fist but it was too late. Takemichi cried out watching her take a direct hit for Kazutora. Kaksi wanted to scream, the blunt force stronger than anything she had ever felt before but the sounds were caught in her throat as she found herself unable to breathe. She stumbled backwards. Mikey, stunned by the sight of her falling from his blow instead of Kazutora, stayed immobile.

What have I done?

Takemichi caught the girl in his arms, preventing her from hitting the ground, clearly unable to stand anymore. Horror took over Kazutora instantly as he watched her limp body, the pain probably too much for her to have withstood. He stepped forward, fury taking over him again at the sight of his unconscious darling.

Mikey didn’t move, eyes glued to her as Takemichi slapped her face gently in an attempt to wake her up. He didn’t mean to hurt her, he was aiming at Kazutora. He would never ever hit Kaksi, he thought as guilt washed over him. He would never hit a girl, and especially not this girl, his friend, or maybe more.

“You fucking asshole!” Kazutora yelled his fist connecting with Mikey’s jaw for the first time after a while.

The pain brought Toman’s leader back to his senses and it was instinctively that he blocked Kazutora’s next move. Takemichi watched once again, anger taking over him this time. They couldn’t be serious. He screamed out of frustration for Kaksi who couldn’t, Kumi who was still held back by Mitsuya and everyone surrounding them.

“What the fuck do you think Baji died for and Kaksi took that punch for?”

Kazutora’s eyes filled with tears as he looked over to his best friend’s corpse and his ex-girlfriend’s unconscious form. Mikey was about to argue but Takemichi cut him off, getting impatient now.

“He died for Toman! He died for you two, god damn it!”

Takemichi’s tears fell onto Kaksi as he gently moved her body, taking off his jacket hurriedly to put it under her head before walking over to the two boys fighting. But as the piece of clothing was folded, the charm Takemichi had kept with him fell, catching Mikey’s attention.

“Kazutora didn’t kill him!” he continued. “He killed himself because he didn’t want Kazutora to feel responsible! Because he wanted you to forgive Kazutora!”

Takemichi stopped for a moment, the sobs racking his body making it hard for him to speak.

“Everything Baji did,” he said. “He did it because he loved you guys! Why can’t you understand this?”

Kazutora found himself unable to move, too many conflicting emotions taking over him while Mikey kneeled, picking up the charm that was sent flying. He examined it carefully before asking Takemichi where he had found it. Then Mikey’s eyes widened in shock as the founding members of Toman realized who it belonged to and what it represented. He couldn’t help the tears blurring his vision at the realisation of what they had just lost and at what cost exactly. For a moment Mikey reminisced, brought back to Toman’s founding day.

“I didn’t create Toman,” he explained. “Baji did.”

Kumi, who had thought she didn’t have any more tears to cry, felt a new wave wash over her as her shattered heart ached harder. The emptiness she felt, piercing through everyone who had known Baji.

If one of us gets hurt, we’ll all protect them. I want a gang that’s all for one, and one for all.

They could all picture Baji saying those words, whether they had been there or not to witness it two years ago and at that moment everyone found that they couldn’t muffle the sounds of their pain anymore.

There was a pause that hung heavy, impregnated with tears, but where they all remained unmoving, as they considered everything that had been said.

Kumi stirred finally, wiping her tears, and turned to look at Mitsuya. He eyed her carefully, his own eyes no longer dry, and in a voice that sounded too pained to be speaking, she begged for a chance to move.

“It’s safe now, right? I’m not interfering anymore.”

Without waiting for an answer, she rose and walked over slowly to where Chifuyu still held her first crush, love, whatever she would call it. Chifuyu didn’t look up as she knelt down across from him and placed her head against Baji’s chest, her heart sinking as she couldn’t hear a heartbeat. Throat drying up, she might have deluded herself into imagining something, anything where there should be a sound, so instead she lifted her head quickly, and gently slapped him on the face.

“Wake up,” she whispered. She tapped his face again with her open palm, again trying to ignore how unnaturally cold his cheek was on contact.

She took a deep breath again, then thumped his chest again, a little harder this time. She knew very well that this was futile, and if anything she was upsetting Chifuyu even more, who had started to shake, but she was going to do this. She had to do this.

“Wake up, the fight is over and you’ll be fine. Someone called an ambulance and you need to get checked, but it’ll be okay.” She paused, and bit her lower lip.

She reached over to untie his ponytail, letting the hair tie sit on her wrist. As luck would have it, this one she recognized; he had borrowed it from her. She swallowed hard, as she ran a hand through his hair.

“Kumi, he’s-” Chifuyu started then stopped once she cut him off sharply.

“I know.”

Despite this, she still shook him.

“I forgive you for being mean, okay? We still have dates and movies to go to,” she leaned in closer to whisper in his ear, as though that was the reason why he wasn’t responding to her, not the fact that he was no longer breathing.

“I’ll learn how to make that yakisoba you like. Your mom promised to teach me before, remember? It won’t be as good but you have to promise to eat everything.”

“Kumi,” Chifuyu repeatedly her name softly, and she swallowed a sob but kept talking to the dead boy before her.

“I never gave you those chocolates I owe you, remember? You can’t die before I do that.”

As she said this, the tears she’d thought had run out just earlier seemed to replenish and she buried her face into his jacket and finally let herself weep fully, her arms around him.

“You’re so fucking mean, Baji Keisuke.”

[kickingitwithkirk]

Deuxième Omega: Part II

Summary: Jensen is not dealing well with his unexpected divorce and before the ink is even dry, he is pushed into another union with a complete stranger.

Pairing: Alpha!Jensen Ackles x Omega!OFC

Word Count: 2859

Warnings: A/B/O, angst, angry Jensen, cursing, illness, arranged marriage, divorces, talk of Alpha dominance over Omega, suspected eating disorder, past abuses, vehicle drama

A/N: Sorry this took so long to get this part out, my antique laptop decided to eat over 2,000 words and have had to piece back together from memory so hopefully it makes sense.

A/N II: There is no intentional hate or malevolence intended towards any of the Ackles family. This is a purely fictional piece containing real and created persons/names/events set in the fictional A/B/O verse. 

Part I

*Supernatural doesn’t end in season 15 and some dates/events have been altered to fit the story.

*no beta, all mistakes are mine

The Next Day

Jensen waves his hand around again at that buzzing insect driving him crazy. He’s finally conscious enough to recognize the sound, it wasn’t a bug but his phone vibrating incessantly. Picking his head up and instantly regretting it starts patting around the bed for his phone.

“lo...”

“Are you still drunk?” A deep, honey-whiskey and way too damn loud for the morning voice barked at him.

“Jared?”

“No, fucking Misha.”

“Too early for your shit Jay...”

“Dude, it’s three-thirty in the afternoon.”

“WHAT!” Jensen yells sitting up too fast, the pain ricocheting throughout his head sends him flying off the bed, barely making it to the toilet before regurgitating everything he ingested last night. The toilet automatically flushes as he sits back against the bathtub groaning like a dying water buffalo.

“Really wish you'd hung up before sharing that,” Jared quips in a queasy voice, “I’m gonna regret this but Face Time me.”

Jensen cracked his eyes open enough to locate the button and tapping it Jared appears dressed in his running gear with a bandana holding his hair back. “No offense but you look like hammered shit. I was gonna call earlier but Gen threatened to have my left nut if I did.”

Jensen grunts and closes his eyes against the bright outdoor light emanating from the phone.

“Are you…” Jensen tunes him out for a minute then,“ ‘cause there’s something you need to know about, it’s really bad.”

He opens his eyes and it’s worse than he could have imagined going by the expression on Jared’s face.

“One of your clan sold you out, got it all on cellphone video, social media’s blowing up. Hell, even Fox News Channel picked it up.”

Jensen listens to the description of his expressions at the surprise traditional ceremony, his drunken stumbling around the reception with his new wife submissively following, his scoffing at the speeches during the reception and ignoring his silent, veil wife sitting next to him.

“My favorite bit was Alan and Josh carrying you out of the can.”

Jared's expression turned serious, “People are talking, we can't cover for you anymore. I got a text from higher ups cause no one could get hold of you for obvious reasons. PR’s gotta get ahead of this.”

“I’m a fuckup.”

“Yeah but we still love you. So, what's her name?”

Jensen licked his lips, biting the bottom one.

“Please tell me you know her name.”

“I..I don't even know what she looks like Jay.”

Jared ran his hand over his mouth, “The first thing you do is get up, take a shower and brush your goddamn teeth. Then you apologize, fucking supplicate yourself, to your new wife..unless you’ve already decided to put her aside.”

Jensen's head snapped up unbelieving that his friend, the man who was his brother in every way except blood, could think that of him.

“You really believe I could do that?”

Jared smiled, “No, you're too good of a man, an Alpha, to do that. I want you to remember one thing, in all this, she’s not the one who screwed you over.”

***

Jensen stepped out the shower forgoing shaving since the show was on a short break. He wiped the steam from the mirror and stared at this haggard expression and developing beer gut. I’ve got to get back on my exercise routine. Makeup and wardrobe could only mask so much.

Reaching for his bath kit he knocked a hand towel off the counter. Bending over to retrieve it he noticed a shoe with netting in the wastebasket. Pulling it out he saw a brown smear inside one of the heels, remembering how much trouble she had with them last night and made a mental note to inquire about her feet.

Washing his hands and searching through his kit realizing he’d forgotten his toothbrush. Opening on the cabinets he located the complementary ones. As he’s brushing Jensen sees another brush sitting in a glass by the other sink with a neatly folded hand towel and hanging washcloth.

Huh, she must have forgotten hers too.

Tossing his kit bag in the suitcase he dressed in a pair of well worn jeans and a T-shirt. Quietly entering the common area the curtains set open just enough for him to see her curled up on the couch, still in her wedding dress, asleep. He walked over to check on her when a knock at the door made her bolt upright.

“It's room service, I asked them to text so not to wake you.” He answered the door and had a brief word with the waiter who apologized, the ticket didn’t say not to knock. They deposited a coffee decanter, several covered dishes, bottles of water and left taking the cart with them.

Jensen sat down and before he could ask how she took her coffee, his wife scrambled off the couch and was kneeling at his feet, head bowed and hands folded in her lap.

“What are you doing?” He asked incredulously, having never seen anyone do this before.

“Awaiting you instructions Alpha.”

“Instruc...get up!” He gripped her upper arm, shocked at how far his fingers wrapped around it and helped her to the other chair. Sitting back down Jensen got his first look at his new wife.

Sleep tousled, dark blonde hair frame cheekbones overly prominent for the shape of her face, wide set eyes a blue-grey color with amber rings around the pupils. Her lips were full, the bottom lip slightly off center. She was not the Hollywood standard of beauty he was used to, and if compared to them, she’d only be considered moderately pretty.

“I was only doing what is expected…”

“Kneeling at my feet like an obedient dog!” He barked as she said, “..of the Omega.”

“What’s expected?”

“In the book..”

“Please look at me when speaking.” She raises her eyes but doesn’t meet his, “..it states that the Omega is subservient and the act of humbling ourselves shows respect for the Alpha, as is their due.’

Jensen sat back shocked, running both of his hands through his still damp hair, making it stand up to resemble a hedgehog. He was in over his head and, for one of the few times in his life, didn’t know what to do and the first person he would have turned to for advice had banned all communication.

He took a deep breath to refocus and leaned forward, resting his arms on his legs to look her in the eye, “I need you to forget what I said last night. I..I’m angry, feels like I..we..were ambushed by this situation. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you, I’m sincerely sorry.”

“I don’t understand, are you apologizing to me?”

“It’s what people do when they’ve done something wrong and what I did was unforgivable. I want to make it up to you if you’ll let me and hopefully we can make a go of this.”

She looked at him dubiously but nodded once.

***

Jensen finished the last dregs of his coffee while packing, having decided to head back to Austin tonight. Clif had texted him he was ready whenever they were.

Sitting down on the bed he listened to the running shower and reaching his phone picked it up to start recording a video message.

He apologized for his atrocious behavior the last two years, asking the fans not to take it out on the show, this was all on him. To his coworkers for having to cover for him, they should have never been put in that position and if he had better character they wouldn’t have had too.

He next apologized to his family for his inexcusable behavior last night, which should have stayed private within their clan, and fully accepted his banishment by the clan leader, his father, for however long he deemed fit.

He lastly apologized to his new wife, they were irrecoverably tied together and he’d do whatever she demanded from him to make up for the horrendous treatment he’d shown her and hoped she’d give him a chance to make a go of their marriage.

He uploaded the video to his few online accounts and turned the phone off, wearily running a hand over his face. Getting up to take one last look he found his jacket from the wedding hanging in the closet.

Folding it he hears a crinkling noise and reaches into the inner pocket finding the marriage certificate. Tossing the jacket on the bed he unrolls the certificate reading his wife’s name Iseult.

“It’s pronounced Ee-sult Alpha.”

Jensen's head jerked up in surprise, “Hey, um, we're heading out as soon as you're ready.”

“Oh, okay, I’ll need you to button my dress Alpha.” She said repacking his bath kit she'd borrowed.

Jensen furrowed his brow, “Wouldn’t you be more comfortable in something else, I mean, I’m telling you what to wear but it’s a three hour drive to my..our home.”

Iseult looked down playing with one of the pearlescent buttons, “When I married my hus..ex husband, our prenup stated that I only got what I had in my possession at the time. Apparently, he disposed of my things at some point,” she fanned out the shirt, “this dress, shoes and veil, your mother purchased them otherwise the media would have had a lot more to exploit at my..our expense Alpha.”

“Let me give you something of mine.”

“Anything of yours will swallow me, you're much more solid. There is a Walmart on..” she abruptly stopped at Jensen's raised eyebrow, “I’m sorry Alpha, I overstepped my place.” She bowed her head and hunched her shoulders, exuding the scent of fear as if she is expecting punishment from him.

What had happened to this woman to make her believe she should cower and gravel? Jensen manages to keep his anger in check, not wanting her to be more scared of him than she was, thinking who the hell is her ex-husband and what had he done to make her like this?

Jensen slowly walked behind her and gripping the fabric was once again dismayed at how prominent her shoulder blades were, his gut telling him her slenderness wasn't something natural.

As he fastened the buttons he spoke in the gentle voice he used when Jared's daughter Odette was upset, “If you can survive till tomorrow I’ll take you to get whatever you need.” She nodded once.

“Can I make one request Alpha?”

“You don’t have to request anything, just ask.”

“I have a prescription I need refilled, there’s a pharmacy on Wilmont, it’s on the way.”

He plucked the jacket off the bed and held it open, “Please, it's getting chilly.” She slid her arms into the sleeves and Jensen saw she was right about being swallowed. He put on his ball cap and headed out.

When they got off the elevators Jensen went deeper into the hotel. He stopped at an employees only entrance off the kitchen and knocked twice. A double knock answered and he pushed it open to reveal a waiting SUV. He introduced Clif and handed him the bag, taking it to the vehicle's rear and loaded it before getting back in.

The wind had started picking up ahead of the late autumn thunderstorm. Iseult grabbed her whipping hair in one hand and her skirt in the other as Jensen opened the back door.

“Iseult?”

“I was waiting for you Alpha, its proper etiquette.”

“I was raised it’s proper for a lady to enter first, please,” he held his hand out to her.

Iseult released her hair and hesitantly took his hand. Jensen felt a skittering sensation go up his spin as Iseult quivered, staring into his eyes as a whirling wind intermingled their scents, enthralling them.

Clif politely coughed, “We need to go before the bottom falls out.”

A tremendous thunderclap sent them scrambling into the car as the heavens let loose.

***

The trip to Austin was darker than usual, the weather slowing the drive back and with the incident at the pharmacy, Jensen still couldn’t believe it, refusing the prescription now that she was married to an Alpha, needing his verbal consent.

Clif interceded before he went off about the subjugation of Omegas in modern society, reminding him they were in predominantly conservative Texas, where this thinking was considered normal, not California.

Jensen glanced over to see Iseult staring out the window when his phone vibrated. Picking it up from the cup holder he saw a text from Josh.

>Jenny, know I’m not supposed to be in touch but call me!!! Need to know the shit going down here.<

Josh picked up on the first ring, “Man, all hell breaking loose. Your wife's ex didn't notify his clan that he was divorcing or remarrying her and they’ve filed an appeal with the Pack council to get her back.”

“We were married in the Traditional...”

“The fuck Jenny, did living in La La land make you forget everything? Your the second son of a clan leader, you know Pack law supersedes all federal, state and religious laws. They’ve dug up some obscure sub-clause that states a clan has first right to remarry an Omega within the clan and if they don’t whoever takes them must pay settlements.”

“What are settlements?”

“Has your brain fallen out of your ass? The bride price.”

“Josh, that's insane, it's 2020....”

“No shit Sherlock, but this is Texas. Fuck, dads back already. I’m gonna leave my phone on, keep your goddamn mouth shut or it's gonna be my ass too!”

Jensen can’t make out anything then his mother clearly says, “..they are asking what for her?”

“Ten million.”

“Your shitting me!”

“Joshua, language young man.”

“Five of it’s compensation for damages done to the Omega.”

“What damages? Jenny’s got a temper, what Alpha doesn’t, but he wouldn’t hurt anyone unless he was forced to.”

Alan cleared his throat in the manner Jensen had come to know that something’s making him uncomfortable. “It seems the Omega was..unsullied when she married her ex-husband.”

“Holy shit! You mean she’s never been with an Alpha before Jensen?”

“Joshua, I will not tolerate that language and we will absolutely not discuss your brothers new wife’s...virtue.”

Jensen hears the tinkling of glass, “Donna, did you know about any of this?”

“Well..no, of course not.” Her answer wasn’t very convincing.

“Donna, what are you not saying?” Alan’s Alpha voice resonated, he only used it when his mate was being evasive about something she’d done.

“When Danneel wasn’t willing to reproduce for Jensen I put out some feelers about finding him an Omega…”

“Jesus Fucking Christ! Even if it is acceptable for Jensen to have a second wife with Danneel being a Beta, he would never agree to it.”

“I’m not telling you again about your language. I might have, at one of my appointments, casually indicated to Brent that I wanted an Omega like his.”

Who the hell is this Brent?

“Wait, Brent Worthington?!”

Jensen dropped his phone. It smacked against his other hand turning on the speaker allowing everyone in the car to hear.

“Donna, have you any idea what you’ve done?”

“I never thought he'd actually offer her, they always seemed so happy together.”

“He took your casual indication as an actual offer for his wife. You do understand that while we have to deal with each other they are still our rivals.”

The Ackles and Worthingtons were two of the original founding clans of the Dallas Pack, and rivals for centuries. Iseult had been married to the only Beta son of Abraham, the Clans Alpha, like Alan.

Josh’s voice shook as he spoke, “Mom, if the council decides to return her do you have any idea what they’ll do if Jensen’s already mated and claimed her?”

There’s a ringing phone and Alan answered, his voice loud then faint, apparently pacing around the room.

In the SUV dim interior Jensen could see Iseult shaking, awaiting the decision.

“The council sided with the Worthington's stating the law…”

Jensen’s inner Alpha raged, loosening a wrawl causing Clif to jerk the wheel, swerving across the wet lanes, throwing Jensen against the seat in front of him, landing on the floorboard before the vehicle was under control and stopped on the shoulder. Twisting around he sees Clif opening the back door checking on Iseult while Alan’s voice filled the otherwise silent SUV.

“...but taking into consideration today’s social climate they came back with the final decision since she remarried another clan leader's son her status is unchanged, so if we send her back there’s no penalty for damages. If we choose to keep her, it’s five million due to the Omegas age.”

“What did you tell them dad?”

“I told them we were keeping her, I won’t be the cause of anymore upheaval in my son's life. However,” Alan’s voice turned hard, “the council has ordered additional financial penalties set against both clan leaders for the transgressions committed by their families.”

“How much?”

“I paid twenty-five million for a Deuxième Omega.”

tbc

SPN: @donnaintx​​​​​​​

Dean/Jensen: @flamencodiva​​​​​​​

[miminiac]

Korrasami had build up, just maybe not one you identified with and that’s okay...

I am tired of the LGBTQ+ community hating on Legend of Korra (LoK) for not being gay enough. The critique that there wasn’t enough build up is (1) not productive at all and (2) honestly, not true. There was build up. It may not be the build up every LGBTQ+ person will like, and it may not relate to the experience of every person’s coming out, but it was there. Korrasami was something the creators had tossed around as soon as Book 1 (not that they necessarily had permission to do anything about it). Take this quote from Bryan Konietzko’s tumblr post after the finale aired:

As we wrote Book 1, before the audience had ever laid eyes on Korra and Asami, it was an idea I would kick around the writers’ room. At first we didn’t give it much weight, not because we think same-sex relationships are a joke, but because we never assumed it was something we would ever get away with depicting on an animated show for a kids network in this day and age, or at least in 2010. (link)

The post also discusses how Makorra was never meant to be endgame after Book 1. Again, the time LoK was airing was at a point where states were passing laws to actively prevent gay marriage (LoK ended in 2014, legalization of same-sex marriage by supreme court ruling wasn’t until 2015––context is important). Did they actively write a romance in Books 1 and 2, no they did not. However, as many creators and writers, they let the characters lead them and they discovered that Korra and Asami were more than just friends. Again, taken from the same post:

The more Korra and Asami’s relationship progressed, the more the idea of a romance between them organically blossomed for us

So what we have with Korra and Asami is not a planned romantic relationship from the very beginning, however, the characters have been leading them there since the beginning, whether they realized it or not. Now, I am a big fan of Barthes’ “Death of the Author”, so I 100% percent think that viewers/readers have the ability to inject their own narratives and that multiple narratives can coexist. However, the point of this post is to explain why a critique of “wish they did more” is not productive when it comes to discussion of LoK of a piece of LGBTQ+ media representation. Therefore, I turn to the creators to show that there was intent and there was subtext and build up within Book 3 and 4 (as Bryan discusses in his post, please read in full when you have time).

A lot of Korrasami was hidden in subtext, and that happened because of homophobia within the industry, which still exists today. Content creators of LGBTQ+ media continue to have to walk a fine line. Take Noelle Stevenson talking about Catradora:

My big fear was that I would show my hand too early and get told very definitively that I was not allowed to do this

And like with Catradora (though a little easier since Noelle told viewers that every character is a part of the LGBTQ+ community by default unless explicitly stated otherwise), people saw Korrasami from as early as Book 2 (if not Book 1 on a rewatch).

At the time LoK started airing, I still thought I was straight; I still thought I was straight when I was watching the third season and telling my then boyfriend how Korra and Asami were going to be a couple by the end (literally, when they interacted in the first episode of season 3 while Asami taught Korra how to drive, I turned to him and said it; he said they would never do that and it was a pipe dream). I continued to see Korrasami’s friendship build into something romantic (even if the characters themselves were unaware of it).  

Come Season 3 Episode 9, where Asami carries away a helpless Korra, mimicking Katara having carried away a helpless Aang. For those who had watched the original series and were big Korrasami shippers, this scene basically made it canon. It could be argued as the point that maybe the friendship switched to something more romantic. The rest of season 3 and all of season 4 only added moments between these two (side note: I came out as bisexual soon after season 4 started airing, though I had been questioning my sexuality probably since the end of season 3).

Now is the Korrasami relationship perfect, absolutely not. Bryke admits as much, but it was a significant step forward. Again, this happened in 2014, so a lot of narrative within media of states passing laws to discriminate against same-sex couples and deny marriage. The hand-holding scene everyone screams about not being enough. Well, they received plenty of homophobic backlash from that.

The critique that they didn’t do enough is not productive. It is a critique that could be said about most main-stream LGBTQ+ media. I get that we are tired of scraps; I get that we are tired of having to read between the lines because creators are still afraid to come out and say it (pun intended). However, to critique LoK as “not being gay enough” ignores the context in which it was created and what that representation meant to many of the viewers (like myself) who were discovering themselves and their sexuality at the time.

Avatar: the Last Airbender (ATLA) was made for 8-13 year olds (from season 1), and I would argue that LoK was made for that same group of people, who would have then been 14-19 years old when LoK first aired. Thus, LoK was being watched by those entering high school and college––a time of self-discovery.

Additionally, a critique that LoK doesn’t do enough leads to an idea that there is “a right way” to create a LGBTQ+ relationship, which I would argue is harmful to the community at large. If you did not identify with Korra’s coming out, that’s completely valid. If you did not identify with the way the Korrasami relationship progressed, that is also valid. But you cannot invalidate the relationship of Korrasami, as a relationship built off a friendship and mutual respect that blossomed by into something more. The relationship was not sexualized with wistful glances and blatant sexual tension, instead, it was built on a friendship and respect for boundaries.

Again, multiple narratives can be drawn given each viewer has a unique set of experiences. One such reading could show that Asami was more in tune with her feelings for Korra than Korra was about her feelings for Asami. And, instead of flirting non-stop with Korra, Asami respects Korra’s space (though we all saw her check out Korra’s back muscles) and recognizes that Korra has a lot on her plate being the avatar, a relationship is not something on the forefront of her mind. It is only after defeating Kuvira (and the healing/growth from a few episodes prior in "Beyond the Wilds”) that Korra is able to truly understand her feelings to Asami, suggesting they take a trip together––just the two of them.

Now, you may not identify with that type of coming out, but other people do. And to argue that “LoK didn’t make Korrasami explicit enough” undermines the experiences of those in the LGBTQ+ who heavily identified with Korra’s experiences and her coming out.

Holding LGBTQ+ media to this higher standard is inherently toxic. I would like to believe that these creators are coming from a good place with good intentions. There is nothing toxic or abusive in the way Korrasami is portrayed. There is nothing unrealistic about the way their relationship progressed throughout the series. It was not a fan service––it was the natural progression of the characters.

And let’s not forget that Korrasami is not only confirming a relationship between two women, but it is also two women of color. Now, it may not seem like a huge deal within the contexts of the Avatar World, but it is important to remember the context of where this show was airing.

There are things we can critique LoK on. It isn’t perfect. We can discuss the hiring of white voice actors (as a way to hold new media that is being created or will be created accountable, not as a way to just hate on LoK); we can discuss the voices within the writers room and the lack of diversity there. These are critiques that can be made of ATLA and LoK and countless of other media produced. This is a valid critique when used constructively. It is not meant to tear down an entire piece of media and everything that it has done for various communities, but rather to point to a flaw within the way media is being produced and the racist, sexist, and homophobic systems in place that determine what and how media is produced.

If we are to critique, we could look to reimagining how we create and consume media, not tearing down media that has already been produced and stands in a pivotal spot of the community. As Audre Lorde says:

For the master's tools will never dismantle the master's house.

If we are continually operating within the systems of oppression, we will never truly be able to dismantle them. Thus, to operate within the institutions of Nickelodeon, Netflix, Disney, etc. is to be beholden to the rules and constraints of a moderate, heteronormative, sexist, racist society. If creators stray too far from that line too quickly, there will be backlash. The perfect LGBTQ+ representation cannot exist while made within these institutions.

I would like to mention this statement is not to say that we cannot critique or boycott movies or shows that are performative in their diversity. There is no excuse for Hollywood after the successes of Black Panther (2018) and Crazy Rich Asians (2018) (and others) to not fill the crew and writers with the same representation being shown on the screen. We can, and should, hold production companies accountable––and given the internet, it is something we can do even early on in the production process.

I have gotten a little off track, but my point is, think about your critiques. Really ask yourself if it is a productive critique, or if it is critique that actually harms or is toxic to the community. Critiques are hard, I understand that. When we first start to think critically, it is easy to just jump on these “low hanging fruit” type critiques. It takes practice and comfortability learning and expanding your world view to construct a critique that looks at context from various point of views and experiences.

[keepyourpantsongohan]

Ayesha Liveblogs Death Note

I’m watching this show specifically because of that text post that said, “Watch how quickly this one guy decides to be the worst person ever” and he has killed two people in the first ten minutes

Though 2 be fair he’s killing people to save people so it’s a trolley problem kind of thing for now

“In fact I’ve been waiting for you... Ryuk” ok weird flex Light but u do u

“You’re the first one to use to this extent in five days” WAIT DID HE MURDER ALL THOSE PEOPLE IN FIVE DAYS I THOUGHT HE WAS JUST LOOKING AT A LIST OH MY GOD??

“So there isn’t a price to using Death Note?” said Light, as if killing people is just a normal thing that we all do

Fhkjfhfkjb Ryuk really went ‘u used the book so we’re friends now’ 

I was wondering why the book was in English, and I guess that makes sense British and American imperialism really Did That

“I can write down the names of criminals, and slowly reduce the number of evil people” uhhhh doesn’t u being a Book Murderer also make you a criminal Light

“Human lives shouldn’t be taken so lightly” bah dum tss

Also I guess that revelation lasted about thirty seconds for you huh

Update from 15 seconds later: Even less than that

“I would create a world of earnest, kind humans” really because I don’t think places that allow the death penalty are generally nicer societies 

It’s interesting that they use English in the classes and the notebook but the conversation at Interpol takes place in Japanese (despite the implied internationality and Ryuk’s aforementioned claim about English being most common) 

Huh I won’t lie I do think it’s confusing that the main characters are L and Light, which also starts with L

“I am justice” I mean if anything this show just proves that no one should be allowed to use the death penalty on apprehended suspects in criminal justice cases ever 

OH SHIT PLOT TWIST HIS DAD’S A COP (IT WAS IN THE TEXT POST I THINK BUT I FORGOT)

Wow this show is full of mind games already I guess I can see why like, crime show fans would dig it

“But I’m going to say this as your roommate” OH MY GOD THEY WERE ROOMMATES KJHRGKJHKJHG

Interesting that someone is following Light specifically already

I mean not to poke too many holes in your plan Light but wouldn’t it clash with your plan to become God if you die at like 35 or smth 

“You’re already much more of a shinigami than they are” Ryuk said my friends are BORING I want to hang out with this MURDER TEEN

“I may not look it, but I’m pretty popular” Light is exactly the kind of guy who ends up in a true crime special where a bunch of people say he seemed like a nice, charismatic young man

Man this poor girl that Light brought on this date is going to be straight traumatized after this

I mean isn’t it MORE suspicious if someone dies around someone with direct ties to the police even if it’s not a heart attack

“You were indeed a brilliant FBI agent once, but now you’re my fiancée” kjhfkjhg WHAT FBI AGENTS CAN’T BE MARRIED 

“Once we have a family, you’ll be so busy that you’ll forget that you were an agent” I’m not a fan of Raye Penber 

What’s the point in killing Raye at all???? He told you he was part of a special investigation so clearly he’s not that suspicious of you

Light sure is bold to announce his Killing People Experiments in the middle of a busy sidewalk 

Incredible that consistently no one notices Light’s increasingly threatening declarations????

Fjkfkfhk these five cops finding out their Hail Mary is this strange little goblin man,,,, wow

This woman has really pushed Light to the brink just by giving a fake name, I admire her tenacity

Cops wearing fake IDs really did not age well oh boy

SERIOUSLY HOW DOES NO ONE EVER HEAR LIGHT SAYING SUSPICIOUS THINGS IN PUBLIC THOROUGHFARES HE LITERALLY JUST SAID “I AM KIRA” AS A DETECTIVE WALKED BY, WHILE HE WAS TALKING TO SOMEONE HE KILLED IMMEDIATELY AFTER

Wow it really took only eight episodes for L to track Light as close as one of two families

“You have a wife and daughter, right?” “I know!” I mean..... not 2 be that guy but... cops

 “To me, apples are like... Well, like cigarettes and liquor to humans” Vcvhcjhj every once in a while Ryuk says something that really tickles me

I know the word sociopath is kind of outdated but man does Light have actual interests outside of school or does he just do stuff to fill the void of his lack of interests (outside of murder)

JKHGKJHGKJHKJHG I cannot believe that this has turned into a fake classmate situation first of all 1) are you going to become friends and 2) How old are you Ryuzaki/L?

“Where is that rich kid from? And he’s even at the top of his class? What a jerk” honestly a mood

I DESPERATELY want Light’s mother or sister to overhear his evil cackling will someone finally eavesdrop on this god complex

“If I sit normally, my reasoning skills drop by 40%” weird flex but same 

Sidenote: I can’t believe how many episodes of this show I already have watched

Ngl I was VERY shook that Mr. Yagami had a heart attack. Also does Light care if his family lives or dies or is he kind of neutral on the subject? 

“If Kira is an ordinary person who gained this power, then he is a very unlucky person” Dad and L said ‘if u ARE Kira could you please stop murdering thank you <3′ 

Light really underestimated how much cops hate anyone who has killed a cop oops

OH SO IT’S NOT LIGHT I WAS WONDERING WHY HE HAD NOT MADE AN APPEARANCE THIS WHOLE EPISODE U MEAN THERE ARE TWO GUYS WITH THIS EXACT SAME IDEOLOGY AND PLAN? INCREDIBLE

Update from ten seconds later: Two people, I guess

Well this explains the girl in the short dress which serves as the Netflix thumbnail of this show I was wondering when she would show up 

Also she sounds like she’s very young? Clearly Shinigami don’t have a minimum age of informed consent when it comes to their Murder Eyes Contract 

Hahah I bet Light didn’t imagine that his petty and fucked up apple joke would bite him so quickly in the ass

Dhkjdhdkjhd Misa is so bold dropping her Death God deets in a video for anyone to see 

“The way to kill a Shinigami, is to make them fall in love with a human” does this mean that Ryuk is going to fall in love with Light or Misa? Both would make me uncomfortable

Oh wild guess Misa became a Death Note Wielder through the Power of Unreciprocated Voyeuristic Love

“Yeah, I have a girlfriend now,” said Light, after a girl contacted him through a series of anonymous video tapes implicitly vowing to be his disciple 

“No one could tell who he’s attached to if I’m with this many people” [20 seconds pass] “Found him!” HAHAHA the funniest part of this show is consistently watch Light going “got ‘em” before it immediately is revealed that he doesn’t got ‘em 

Why is Light so incredibly searchable??? I think the only way people people could find my height online is if I happened to answer it for one of those Facebook note memes in 2007 lmaoooo

“There are many places that will go and sell your personal records” ah, data breaches; a problem that has not gotten any better in the last 15 years since this anime came out

HKJHFHKJFHF Light immediately jumping into fake-dating his weird disciple in front of his mom... what is this show

“Please make me your girlfriend” OH MY GOOOOOD

This is one of the weirdest romantic dynamics I’ve seen in recent memory but you know what? Whatever, at least it’s not Anxiety and Murder

“Does that mean I’ll have to deal with her until she dies?” Light is truly exuding some Ladybird Book of Dating Energy rn: 

The fact that to kill L all Light had to do was get an obsessive girlfriend... astounding

Beautiful that it took Misa less than a week of knowing Light to ruin his whole 15 episode game plan and also life

“I think I may be Kira” Well this show keeps taking one escalation after another this is exhausting why can’t Light just be a normal person who found it, tried it out of interest in the occult, discovered he’d committed a horrible atrocity and then went to therapy for the rest of his life only to confess to Magical Murder on his deathbed while his family goes, ‘Wow, Grandpa’s crazy’

Does L not think that keeping three different people imprisoned for days on end will lead to some psychological repercussions for him

FOR WEEKS ON END????? OH MY GOD???? The fuck L, I know two of these people are murderers but there are some minimum conditions of correctional facilities and this seems a little Stanford PE

THE DRAMA OF THIS EPISODE I KNEW IT WAS GONNA BE A BLANK BUT HOW FUCKED UP TO PUT EVERYONE THROUGH THIS L I THINK YOU NEED THERAPY!!!!!!! I MEAN LIGHT AND MISA ARE MURDERERS BUT FORCING A MAN TO HOLD HIS SON AT GUNPOINT AFTER IMPRISONING THEM FOR OVER A MONTH IS REALLY A REFLECTION OF A COMPLETE LACK OF EMPATHY (especially when you think that this version of Misa and Light don’t know anything!!! Oh my god!! The fuck)

“I will make arrangements so you and I are together 24 hours a day” call me crazy but I would not want to spend 24/7 with the man who imprisoned me for over a month while playing cruel psychological games all the while

“I’m one of those people who’ll accept Kira, I’d think of ways I could help him” Misa said Bimbo Rights

“I could never toy with a woman’s emotions like that” Light’s dating life and personality has gotten a LOT funnier since he forgot he was a murderer I kind of wish THIS could be the whole show 

Also: Nice to know Light USED to have standards of how to treat women

Honestly fair play to both L and Light they both deserved to be punched and it’s funny to see eighteen episodes of mind games culminate in punching and kicking each other in the face

“Matsuda’s being an idiot again” “Well, Matsuda is a natural at that” wghkjhgkj what has Matsuda done to any of you

"He’s punishing criminals as a front, and killing people for the benefit of this company” is Light unknowingly going to solve the murder chain he himself started... inspiring

“I was testing you” this is why Light is your only friend, L, Aizawa has kids and it’s a dick move to ask him to put his convictions before them

Poor Matsuda realizing he’s got the least to offer to their team... me in high school science labs 

I understand Aizawa’s moral crisis but why do NONE of these cops care about their wives or daughters they’re just kind of like, ‘I will provide for you but I have no interest in or fulfillment from being part of your life’ (ACAB)

Matsuda is truly about to die for being dumb and eager to help 😔 Rest in Pieces

“We must not allow Yotsuba to figure out that we are investigating them,” said L, just after it cut from Matsuda being obvious about investigating them. Oh Matsuda 😔 you’re so bad at your job 😔

MATSUDAAAAAAAA oh thank goodness; Bimbo Rights save the day

“I can’t go along with your idea, it’s wrong!” said Light, despite the fact it took him 15 seconds to get over murder the first couple of times he did it 

Staaaaaaaaay Good Light, I don’t want ur Deathnotesona I want this young man with moral convictions!!

The level of hubris it takes to answer a phone call during your secret Murder Meeting while people continue to talk about their Murder Plans is just out of this world

“If I die, you could probably become the successor to the ‘L‘ name,” said L, to the person he has been trying to catch for twenty episodes 

“I won’t say anything under any kind of torture” “Yes that’s true” Which he knows because he tortured her for six weeks!! You see that that’s fucked up, L, right? RIGHT??? RIIIIIIIIGHT? (LIIIIIIIGHT???)

Seriously not to beat a dead Shinigami but Light is so much better like this. He doesn’t want to throw people’s lives away for the investigation! He wants to protect Misa! He thinks Kira is wrong! Why does he have to be a murderer!!! Why can’t this show be about a nice young man!!!!

“Hey Ryuzaki, that’s messed up!” THANK YOU LIGHT AGAIN I KNOW YOU BOTH HAVE KILLED PEOPLE BUT YOU DON’T KNOW THAT RIGHT NOW SO FOR ALL MISA KNOWS HE’S JUST A GUY WHO TORTURES HER AND TELLS HER CRUSH WILL DIE IF SHE DOESN’T HELP

Wow Rem is so ride or die for Misa protecting Misa from creepy Higuchi, giving her info and telling her to trust Light, that’s love bitch

Props to Misa for getting a confession out of Higuchi after one (1) car ride 

Why do I feel like L is going to be responsible for reawakening Bad Light is it because he psychologically tortured him for six weeks? Had his dad hold him at gunpoint? Forced Misa to investigate on his behalf? Constantly and unerringly presses him on what Kira would be thinking as he’s handcuffed to him 24 hours a day? Maybe!! This is like Build-a-Bear but he’s customizing his Teen Murder Friend 

“Only Mr. Matsuda can do [the mission to lure out Higuchi!Kira]” Death Note really said the Himbos, Herbos and Thembos shall inherit the Earth 

They keep saying they don’t know how he kills but it seems pretty obvious that he writes down their names to kill, they literally saw him do it

I really don’t want any of the investigation team to die but things are not looking hot :(

“Ryuzaki, I never knew you could fly a helicopter” “It’s just intuition” what does that MEAN

“Those aren’t allowed in Japan,” said Light, about a gun, as if he had not killed probably thousands of people without one 

In spite of this fact I really do want Good Light to stay 😔 Why! Can’t! This! Show! Be! About! A! Nice! Young! Man!

Also they really are playing into this father-and-son duo I will be very sad when the dad inevitably dies as I’m sure he will 

Family side note: I’ve been wondering this since the prison ep but where do Light’s mom and sister think he IS now that he’s dropped out of first year uni to be a teen criminal investigator handcuffed to a maladjusted homebody private eye

AIZAWAAA and also the other two guys I guess there was a plot relevant reason for him to rejoin the police huh

Well what a clean ending to this Kira arc. No one died and the killer was caught! Yikes that the next ep is called ‘Revival’ tho 😔 Rest in pieces Good Light

Also a new and very threatening intro???? What happened to the Twilight Apple Hands 

BOOOO I knew Light would get his memory back but I was hoping it would at least fuck him up for a while he sorted out his two personas but I guess all roads eventually lead to Bad Light 

Full disclosure I stopped watching for a few days just after Light got his memory back and let me tell u coming back later hasn’t made it any more tolerable I am truly not built for this EUGH

“Do you really want to halve your life a second time” “Well, that can’t be helped” REALLY???? CAN’T IT BE HELPED MISA??? WHY ARE YOU AND LIGHT SO CRAZY

Oh I guess we’re back to Light saying incredibly suspicious things right near the investigators lmao what if those cameras secretly had audio or you know, L simply knew how to read lips 

“Misa, let’s make a new world together” Remember a bunch of episodes ago when Good Light was all ‘I could never toy with a woman’s emotions’?? What was the reason!!!

“Have you ever told the truth at any point in your entire life” L cutting straight to the core lmao (also the answer is obviously ‘no’)

This show has taken a jarring tonal shift why are they having a post-rain-confrontation massage and towelling each other off this is a level of intimacy I was not prepared for I NEED PEOPLE TOOK LOOK AT THIS:

OKAY OKAY OKAY I KNOW THAT IT WAS PROBABLY NOT THEIR INTENTION BUT THE ONLY WAY I CAN READ THIS SCENE IS AS “Don’t kill me Light~ 🥰 I’ll fuck you~ 🥰” 

I guess L knew he was forcing Rem’s hand to kill him if he disproved the rules written in the book?? But to what end omg how does this help anyone 

“In April 2012, Light Yagami, age 23, joins the National Police Agency” should’ve known we’d land here eventually (ACAB)

Ah, I see another person who doesn’t know how to sit, clearly they will inherit the L title next lmao

Update from the first few mins of the next ep: “Near should succeed L” told you

“There’s no way I’m letting Sayu marry a detective” ahjfkhkjf he’s a little old for her I think but it wouldn’t be the worst thing this show has done romantically lmao; maybe Sayu would get to investigate her brother

“I might’ve considered going out with you, if you were a little younger” HA GOOD FOR HER

“[...] the Japanese police are unreliable. In order to solve this case, we want you to hand over the notebook to our country.” Of all the Japanese-speaking Americans in this show, this is the most accurate jkhfkhf the US government really is Like That 

Ah, so that’s where Mello’s gone, oh how the turn tables 

Also way to sell your subordinates out immediately, NPA Director, will you give them the Kira task force’s home addresses too

The real question is if Light actually cares about his sister enough to prioritize her over the notebook

“Call me... N” Oh my good L... M(ello)... N(ear)... Oooooooooooooooo

It’s my saving grace that I only need to get through 9 more eps but as always I must wonder where this is going will Light just die and end up in Shinigami purgatory while the people who knew him after the fact go, ‘hey, that guy was fucked up’

“If things get bad, I’ll have to kill Sayu” well I guess that answers that question, my expectations of Light are so low and yet he continues to find new ways to be awful

Good for Mr. Yagami and Sayu for getting out of that alive I guess but hoo boy I think this is going to have some psychological repercussions for both of them 

Uh oh this episode is called ‘Father’ I’ve been dreading this one bc I think that means Mr. Yagami is about to die 😭😭😭

“It was an institution for brilliant children, to raise them to become L‘s successor” okay calm down Professor Xatari that’s not what children are for lmao 

Well I guess it’s a lot easier to track down info about these two guys than it was to figure out L lmao

HAHAHA Sidoh haunting Ryuk to ask for his stuff is a fun addition to this madness  

“He’s scary for a human” jkhhfjh how unhinged does Mello have to be to threaten a literal Shinigami 

I truly don’t understand the logistics of how they revealed Ryuk to the police force isn’t the second Kira notebook supposed to belong to Actual Kira, in the police force’s eyes????? I do not understand how Light can just turn up with another notebook and everyone’s like ‘sure cool’ did I miss something 

Mr. Yagami killed for being unable to take human life ugh this is the worst 

“You’re not Kira. I’m really glad.” WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THIS IS SO SAD MR. YAGAMI NOOOOOOOOOO THAT’S WHY HE RENOUNCED OWNERSHIP OF THE NOTEBOOK 

Neither Mello nor Near seem overly concerned with the lives of people around them does being a Super Genius Investigator also mean you have to be a dick (is this Benadryl Coddleswab Sherlock syndrome)

Lmaooo genuinely love how it’s constantly apparent that Light is the least smart of all of the smart people Light spent five years working on his reputation and it took Near one (1) phone call to destroy it 

Ghjkhgkhgkgjh Light outsmarted by Near yet again never think people will prioritize principles over money

Lol yeah Aizawa needn’t have given a name after he said the “Deputy Director Yagami would kill Kira and then himself” thing, you don’t do that just for anyone who was he fooling 

How does Light keep track of all the renunciations and notebooks bc I certainly can’t 

Ffhkfjhfj Mikami truly looks like the son of L and Light it’s like Light missed him and was like, “Miss u boo :( (even tho I kinda killed u) I’ll adopt An Evil 27-year-old in ur honour :)”

Is Mikami’s story really, ‘I got bullied in high school and have mommy issues so now I think people I don’t like should die’ ok Shonen Snape 

“I just want you to meet with me and hear me out” Light really proving to Aizawa that he can lie AND manipulate people’s feelings 

“The truth is, she’s not smart enough to be my partner” first of all Light I think this show has proven you’re not that smart, and Misa’s Herbo Energy is effervescent and will outlast you, and third of all go to jail

“He’ll look suspicious if he doesn’t say something soon” “Ide, have you ever been in love” Matsuda continues to be the only good part of this show

“You’re the only man I’ve ever respected and admired in my life” GET SOME THERAPY KIYOMI

“You’re going to be the goddess of the new world” so it’s not enough for Light to be a murderer he must also be a cheater

Lmao Near’s powers of perception do seem a little B/BC S/herlock because L tried for literally months to work out the possibilities and Near is just like ‘I KNOW IT NOW’

“The only thing I can deduce from this is that Light Yagami is popular with the ladies” HEAVEN KNOWS WHY (PUN NOT INTENDED)

Every moment Aizawa gets closer to proving Light is Kira is another step closer to death 😔

“This is definitely Mikami’s handwriting” Not to be a know-it-all, Near, but handwriting analysis has been proven faulty many times in multiple courts of law

This truly is a game of Cat and Cat. All these hidden plans give me a headache fkjhkfjh call me Misa-Misa and spin me sideways I don’t have the braincells to spare

Well this is definitely some kind of s*xual assault absolutely fucking hate it wow this show truly just drains the life out of you 

“Matt, I never thought you would be killed” why wouldn’t you think that at this point anyone who comes close to this investigation eventually dies (also wjkhkjhgk why is Matt special didn’t you kill all those thugs you had before -- Mello said ‘the lives of my allies are only important if they are drawn in handsome protag style’) 

As of yet I haven’t really talked about Near’s wild toymaking but hoo boy is that L finger puppet something to observe

“Everyone who knows about the existence of the notebook will die” I’m still pulling for their survival, particularly Matsuda (himbo rights!!!)

Imagine if they just shot Light Yagami on sight how ironic would that conclusion to all these mind games be 

“I’m waiting, for the one who will solve everything, to arrive” Lmao if it turns out L is alive I’ll pee laughing this show is so fucking stupid 

Take a shot every time there is a Humpty-Dumpty-in-Puss-in-Boots style explanation about how everything actually happened

“I’ve won, Near” I bet/hope what gets Light caught is his inability to hold in his hubris for one (1) minute

Although the last episode is called New World, in which case maybe he wins in a very weird ending to a very weird show

Sjkfhkjhfkhfkjhf well I guess what gets Light caught is that the person he invited to be his murderous disciple keeps calling him God

“A second ago, you said ‘I win.’ That’s as good a confession as any” HA hubris strikes again also bold of Aizawa to clap Light on the shoulder knowing he is a mass murderer

Ohhh Matsuda he’s so nice and believed the best of Light :((((((((((((

Watching Light become increasingly desperate and crazed is very uncomfortable give it up dude u’ve been beat (though I suppose there is time for everyone here to be murdered still lmao)

LMAO LIGHT SAID “IF YOU CAN’T BEAT ‘EM, CONVERT ‘EM”

Yeah I figured if one of them was gonna shoot it would be Matsuda :( :( Good for him for not killing Light tho!!

Huh I guess that’s the end of the show I thought Light would die but I did think we’d at least get to see him in Shinigami Purgatory or smth... what a wild ride. This certainly was a show.

[etherealwaifgoddess]

Extraordinary

Characters: Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: Steve is just trying to get through his day to day life in the wake of The Battle of New York, working at SHIELD and trying to ignore his own personal demons. Then he meets Y/N, a librarian who sees more than just the mantle of Captain America. 

Content Warning: some negative inner dialogue

Word Count: 3.1k

Author’s Note: Hello lovelies! This was written for the oh-so-talented @lancsnerd ‘s 1k Challenge. I picked the quote “You’re not special. You’re extraordinary.” for Steve. I really had a blast with this prompt and I hope you all enjoy the fic! XOXO - Ash

Extraordinary

“A hero? Like you?” Tony spits out incredulously,  “You're a lab rat, Rogers. Everything special about you came out of a bottle!”

Tony’s words echo in Steve’s head as he wakes with a start. Heart pounding, chest heaving, he tries to get his bearings. A dream. Just a dream. The words though, those still sting. Even a year later Steve can’t shake the feeling that Tony was right. Shit. He’s never getting back to sleep now. 

Steve drags himself out of bed, ignoring the alarm clock’s judgmental blue glow of 4:15am. At least he made it past 3am this time. Sleep problems are common in people with PTSD, his therapist had told him. She offered him medication to help but Steve declined, not sure how well it would work with his super soldier metabolism anyways. He dresses quickly, wanting to get a run in before breakfast. Steve has plenty of time, SHIELD doesn’t require him to show up until 9am, but he’s normally there before eight. He likes feeling useful, and having a steady job at SHIELD has been centering for him.

Steve runs a full marathon before the sun even comes up. He returns home just over an hour later, sweaty and finally starting to feel his muscles burn a little. It’s nice being able to lose himself for a little while in the steady rhythm of his feet hitting the pavement. He stares at his coffee maker for a moment before deciding it isn’t worth the hassle. It’s strange, having the luxury of getting coffee out just because he feels like it. The 1940s still feel like they were a few years ago and Steve’s depression era values run deep. He will admit though, there’s something to be said for takeout. Steve powers through two protein bars as he gets ready for a shower, needing something in his system before he crashes. It’s obnoxious some days how much his enhanced body requires, but he manages. It’s just one of the many unexpected side effects of Erskine’s serum.

Surviving Project Rebirth had been a blessing and a curse. Steve had finally gotten everything he wanted; a chance to fight for what was right, to do something meaningful with his life. But it came with a high price: his freedom. Steve’s life hasn’t been his own since the moment he stepped out of the vita-ray pod. He wasted so much time being the military’s dancing monkey and then once they realized he could fight, it was one battle after another. Even in this new century, he was thrust into a battle for mankind shortly after thawing out. Working for SHIELD for the past year has felt like a vacation after WWII and the Battle of New York. 

Steve clears the steam from the bathroom mirror after his shower, needing to do a quick shave. He stares at his reflection long after his face is back to its standard smoothness. Tony was right, his inner demons whisper. Fraud. Nothing. Worthless. Steve knows he’s supposed to reframe his thoughts and move past his negative inner dialogue, but in the moment he just can’t summon the will to care. Running a comb through his hair, he heads into the bedroom to dress for the day. He may not feel up to it at the moment but given a little time and some coffee, he’ll be okay by the time he gets into the office. 

The sounds of the city in downtown DC remind Steve of the Brooklyn of his youth and he’s comforted by the familiar hustle and bustle. He almost doesn’t see the oncoming trash truck when you step off the sidewalk to cross the street. A step behind you, Steve catches the large green truck out of the corner of his eye. The truck barely stops at the light and makes an illegal right turn on red, barreling straight for you. Steve, in a burst of speed, slams into you, scooping you up in his arms and rolling into the other lane out of the way of danger. As his broad shoulders collide with the pavement he holds you as tightly as he can, letting his body take the brunt of the impact. People on the sidewalk scream watching the scene unfold, but it’s all background noise to Steve who is only focused on the squeak of surprise you make as you roll. 

You come to a stop with Steve below you and he’s frantic to make sure you’re okay. “Are you alright? Are you hurt?” he asks urgently.

You blink a few times, gaining your bearings. One minute you’re crossing the street to work, the next you’re using America’s most famous super soldier as a human mattress. Not how you expected your day to go, to say the least. “I’m okay. I think.”

Steve frowns, still concerned. “You could be in shock. Here, let’s get you up.” 

You start to get up on your own but the second you’re off him Steve jumps up and reaches out. You accept his hand, pulling yourself up from the dirty DC street and trying in vain to straighten out your clothes. Steve collects your messenger bag and has it ready to hand over as soon as you’re done fussing with your silk blouse that is definitely going to need a trip to the dry cleaners after this. “Thanks.” you give him a small smile as you take your bag. 

Steve feels his breath catch in the wake of your smile. You’re petite compared to him, your smart bun is a little mussed from the rolling and your cheeks are flushed. He tries to ignore his interest in your soft feminine curves but Steve would have to be blind not to notice you. Almost a hundred years old and he still doesn’t know how to act around a pretty girl. Idiot. Useless, his demons hiss. “Let me buy you a cup of coffee,” he blurts out before his brain can catch up, “If you’re in shock then I can at least keep an eye on you for a bit.” 

First he saves your life, now he’s offering you coffee. Captain America indeed. “You don’t have to, really. I was going to just stop in at La Columbe on my way to work.” 

“I was headed there too! Come on, I’ll feel a lot better knowing you’re not gonna pass out the second the shock wears off.” Steve gives you his very best earnest expression, “Please? I’m Steve, by the way.” he adds as an afterthought.

“Hi Steve.” you try not to laugh. Like you hadn’t recognized the literal symbol of America. “I’m Y/N.” 

“Nice to meet you, Y/N. So, coffee?” 

“Sure, why not?” you agree. Steve’s face lights up like the sun and you’re blinded by it. Part of you wonders if the truck actually hit you and you’re dead, or maybe in a coma dreaming. Only the slight ache in your shoulder gives you confidence that this surreal experience is your real life.

You follow Steve down the block to your favorite coffee shop, making small talk along the way by explaining you work at the library two blocks over. You’ve run the children's programs and adult literacy group there for the past four years. Steve seems genuinely interested in your work which is both surprising and sweet. 

There’s no line at the coffee shop so you take a minute to pick your drink while Steve orders his usual Americano and a bag full of breakfast sandwiches. He looks bashfully over at you once he’s done, insisting you add your coffee to his tab. You settle on a smoked butterscotch latte, it’s been a while since you had one. You stop there every morning before work but never order the same drink twice in a row.

You try to get Steve to talk about himself while you wait for your drinks but he’s adorably vague. “Steve,” you stop him with a gentle hand on his forearm, “I know who you are. It’s okay.” 

Steve barks out a laugh, “Sorry. I forget sometimes. Okay then, I’m heading into the office to consult on a mission from last week. They have me review mission reports to make notes on how we can improve things in the future.” 

“That’s actually really cool.” you tell him. You would have said more but your orders are up and Steve hands you your paper to go cup. “Well, thanks for the drink, Steve. And the whole saving me thing.” you joke.

“Any time ma’am.” he quips, full of cheesy Captain America charm. You’re surprised and delighted to find he has a little bit of sass to him. “Really though,” he adds in a normal tone, “Are you sure you’re okay?” 

“I am, thanks to you.” 

There’s an awkward moment before you part. You don’t want to come across as a crazy fangirl but you also want to talk to him again sometime. Then again, you’re a librarian who’s closest friends are books and he’s Captain freaking America. You squash down the impulse and part ways with a smile. At least you’ll have an interesting story to tell Ellen at work. 

A few days go by and Steve keeps hoping to see you again at the coffee shop. It’s completely ridiculous but he wants to check on you and make sure you’re okay. It also doesn’t hurt that you’re beautiful. Steve spends two days debating with himself if it would be creepy or kind to pop by the library to check on you. By Friday morning he’s talked himself into it as he wraps up his run. He throws on a smart looking button up shirt and makes sure his hair is slicked back nicely in a way Natasha insists is stylish. Fool. Impostor. Idiot. His head demons whisper as he checks himself in the mirror one last time. He forces himself to ignore them and heads out in the warm summer air. 

Steve realizes as he stands on the steps of the library that he doesn’t know your schedule. Or your last name. He steels himself for impending failure and heads inside. He can at least try. 

Your voice carries through the quiet library and it calms him immediately. “- and he hopped so high that his ears brushed the branches above. That’s good hopping thought little nutbrown hare…” 

Steve follows the sound of your voice across the library where he finds you sitting cross legged on a brightly patterned carpet in front of a small herd of preschoolers. Your tone and expressions keep the kids engaged as you read them a story and Steve is spellbound. He hangs back quietly leaning on a bookcase, watching you lead the group and waiting for you to finish. It doesn’t take long before the group disbands and you’re on your own to clean up after receiving a few enthusiastic hugs from the kids. 

“Hey, Y/N.” Steve says walking over to you. 

You look up, not having noticed him before. “Steve!” you try to stifle how excited you are by his presence. “How are you?”

“I’m okay. Thought I’d drop by to see how you’re doing.” 

“I’m fine, really. I promise. Your life saving skills are excellent.” 

“Glad I haven’t lost my touch being behind a desk.” 

“Definitely not.” you assure him, “So, anything I can help you with while you’re here?” 

Steve realizes he hadn’t thought much past seeing you again. “Could I take you out for a cup of coffee?” 

“I’m working right now.” Steve’s heart drops in his chest, “But I’ll be free for lunch around one.”

Lunch. Not just coffee, but an actual meal. Hope renews in Steve. “I can do that. I could pick you up here?” 

“Sure. There’s a few places around here, so we have options.” 

“Okay great,” Steve tries to reign in his enthusiasm, “I’ll see you then.” Steve gives you a blinding smile before you part ways and it makes you wonder if the fluttering feeling in your chest might be reciprocated after all. 

Steve arrives back at the library at one o’clock sharp, not really caring if it messes up his schedule at Shield. He never takes a real lunch, often just grabbing a tray of something in the cafeteria and dragging it back up to his office to eat while he works. It’s nice getting out in the warm sunshine in the middle of the day. Steve spots you coming out at the same time he’s heading up the stairs and he gives you a small wave. “Ready to go?” he calls as he meets you on the stairs. 

“Absolutely.” you grin, “What are you in the mood for?” 

“I eat just about anything.” 

“Me too. Um, there’s a really good taco truck around the corner. We could eat in the park?” 

“Sounds great.” Steve agrees easily. It’s not a conventional type of first date and that makes it almost more exciting to him. 

You show Steve the way to your favorite food truck where you have to suppress your surprise when he practically buys out the truck. He apologizes profusely, making sure the guys know if they need to wait on other people first he’s fine waiting. 

“Steve,” you finally attempt to get his attention, “You know it’s okay to order yourself a meal, right? You don’t have to keep apologizing, these guys are used to the lunch rush.” 

Steve’s cheeks redden and he rubs a hand on the back of his neck, a visible nervous tick. “I know.” he says, but his words don’t sound convincing even to himself. 

A few others do show up while you wait but as expected, the guys are used to the rush and have no trouble keeping up. After only a few minutes they’re calling Steve’s name and he hurries over to collect your bags. A pair of girls are eyeing him as he accepts the food, whispering in the least subtle way possible. They can’t be more than twenty and they’re frantically typing on their phones as they whisper. 

“Are you, Captain America?” the braver of the two asks him.

“Yes, ma’am.” Steve replies. His tone is friendly yet guarded and you watch him with curiosity. 

The girls giggle, and the other speaks up, “I did a whole history project on you and the Howlies a few years ago. You’re a real inspiration.” 

“Um… thank you.” Steve says, rubbing the back of his neck nervously again. “You ladies have a nice day.” He’s moving away before they can even say goodbye, making a beeline for you.

Finding a picnic table over by the shade trees Steve lays out the food, your taco platter looking pitiful next to his spread. Steve’s shoulders start to loosen a little as you start chatting about your day. You see him cringe when the girls from earlier walk past, but they don’t stop or say anything, only giving him quick little waves as they pass by. 

“That has to be a little overwhelming.” you comment mildly.

“Hmm?” Steve hums, mouth full of taco.

“Being recognized all the time.” you clarify. “It has to be a little overwhelming.” 

Steve nods, “Yeah, I’m still getting used to it. I just don’t get it. I’m really nothing special.” 

You laugh lightly, “Steve, you’re Captain America. You’re not special, you’re extraordinary.” 

“I’m just a kid from Brooklyn who never learned to stand down in a fight.” he shrugs. 

“And grew up to save the world. Twice.” 

“Nah, I had a lot of help with that.”

“You really suck at letting people compliment you, you know that?” you tease.

Steve sighs, shaking his head, “I just don’t get it. I don’t want to be Cap all the time. Sometimes I just want to be Steve Rogers.” 

“Well there’s your problem then.” Steve looks at you expectantly to continue. “Because Steve Rogers is pretty damn extraordinary too.” 

Steve stares at you for a stunned moment. He doesn’t even know how to respond to adequately express how much your words mean to him. No one has wanted Steve just for himself since Peggy and that had been a lifetime ago. For once the demons in his head are silent. Steve takes a long, steadying breath before speaking. “Thank you, Y/N.”

“Nothing to thank me for. Now, tell me, what does Steve Rogers do for fun?”

Steve laughs at the topic change. “Have you heard of the show Parks and Recreation?”

“That is literally the best show.” you give your words a Chris Traeger inflection and watch as a wide smile breaks out on Steve’s face.

“Nice. Well, I’m watching that right now. I’m about halfway through the list of important things to watch and this show’s actually pretty good.” 

“You have a list? What else is on it?” you wonder who made it for him and if any other of your favorite shows are on it.

“How much time do you have?” Steve jokes.

“For you, I have all the time in the world.” 

But you didn’t have all the time in the world. You didn’t need to get back to the library for the next group until 3:30 and you had thought that would be more than enough time. Instead the minutes flew by as you talked with Steve and by the time you finish, you’re racing back to the library to make it there on time. Talking with Steve was as easy as breathing and you were disappointed when you realized you were out of time. You had kept the conversation on generic ‘getting to know you’ topics, keeping away from anything Avengers related since he seemed uncomfortable talking about his public persona. While a tiny part of your brain had swooned over Captain America at first, you’re currently swooning over Steve Rogers himself. He’s kind, surprisingly funny, and as you suspected, genuinely a good man. 

“Y/N, wait!” Steve calls out, causing you to stop in the doorway to the library. You had already said your goodbyes but Steve’s mouth had gotten ahead of his brain yet again. 

You look to him expectantly, waiting for him to continue.

He takes a long breath, bracing himself against his own nerves.“Can we do this again sometime?”

“Yeah, Steve. We can.”

[mattygraygubler]

our campus: chapter 4 (tom holland fanfic)

summary: frat!tom and reader go to the same college and y/n is tasked with being his tutor, they don’t really get along at first (because i love reader and tom hating each other trope)

warnings: none ?????

word count: 2.1k

a/n: so many texts and so much dialogue fuckin kill me also texts are bold

for a list of characters click here

to be added to the tag list send me an ask !

masterlist

✰✰✰✰✰

“I don’t know what you did to get her to give you a second chance, but I need to warn you.” Ally said. Tom turned to look at her, they had only ever spoken when necessary for theater stuff. 

“Warn me?” He asked. 

“Y/N can make your life either very, very good or very, very bad. She has most of the professors in this school wrapped around her pinky. And she doesn’t make it obvious, but she’s the smartest person I’ve ever met. She can really help you if you let her.”

“Well, thanks.” He said awkwardly and turned back to his stuff. 

“One more thing.” Ally said. Tom turned again and raised his eyebrows. “Don’t you dare catch feelings.” “Seriously? No need to worry about that.” Ally scoffed. 

“I’m serious, Tom. Don’t. She doesn’t need that right now.” 

“Yeah, fine, I get it.” He said. 

“Alright guys let’s get started.” Gigi said, signaling rehearsal was about to start. 

* * * 

It was finally Friday, and your phone was blowing up as you walked to the library. Class had gotten out late, so you were walking as fast as possible so you wouldn’t be late to your meeting with Tom. 

Al

if Y/N is ok with it its fine with me

Iz

i still dont know how i feel about this

Em 

pretty pretty please guys i really like this guy and he really wants me to go

You

what are we talking about i was in class

Al

harrison invited em and all of us to the delt party tonight

Iz

and i said we shouldnt go bc of what happened

plus isnt tom a delt? wouldnt that be a bit awk?

You

honestly i couldnt care less. after the week ive had im gonna too blacked to even realize where we are

Em

lets take it to a vote

aye

Al

aye 

Iz

nay

You

im abstaining

Em

the ayes have it! delt BABEEEYYYY

ill have harrison put us all on the list

You 

glad we got that sorted ill see u guys at mine at 8

You walked into the library, checking your watch and seeing it was 4:02. You bit your lip. Hopefully he didn’t give you any crap for being late. 

You walked quickly into hlab, and you knew you looked like a crazy person. Your bag was falling off your shoulder, you had a coffee in your hand and your water bottle tucked under your arm, and your phone in your other hand. 

You scanned the room and saw Tom sitting across from Max, both of them had books out. 

“Hi,” you said breathlessly. Max slid over a seat so you could sit across from Tom. “So sorry I’m late, crazy day.” 

“No worries dar-” You heard him start to say darling, but stopped himself. “No worries. It’s only 2 minutes after.” 

“How long have you been waiting?” You asked.

“Max and I have been hanging out for a while, not a big deal.” 

“Speaking of, I’m on alc duty for tonight so I better go.” Max said, did his stupid handshake with Tom, and walked out. 

Hlab was almost empty except for some freshman. Most people don’t like studying on a Friday, who could blame them?

“So I got a copy of your lectures from this week. What do you want to start with?”

“I don’t care.” 

“Ok, what is currently confusing you the most?” He thought for a second before saying “Astronomy.” You nodded. 

“Great, grab your notes and your textbook.” He pulled out a notebook and his laptop, opening the online textbook. You pulled out your laptop and a pen and highlighter. 

“May I?” You asked and pulled his notebook to your side. You went through his notes, circling certain things with the pen and highlighting others. 

“These are really good, Tom. I like how you put question marks next to things that confused you.” He laughed. 

“Do I get a gold star?” He joked. You rolled your eyes. 

“So phases of the moon.” You started. 

“Wait a second,” he said after you had been talking for a while. “You’re telling me that the moon doesn’t actually, like, change?” 

“It’s all shadows.” You replied. He nodded and seemed to finally be getting it. 

“The phases will most definitely be on your next lab, which isn’t open note, so make sure you memorize them.” You said. “Let’s move onto stats.” He groaned. “What?” You asked. 

“Statistics is so stupid. Letters and numbers shouldn’t go together.” You rolled your eyes. 

“Stats is easy, I promise you. This is the first unit, all we’re doing is descriptive statistics and graphing. Let’s start with some vocab.” You said, highlighting certain words in his notes. 

Once you could see his brain was about to explode, you moved onto writing. 

“There’s not much to talk about, just email me your most recent paper so I can go through it and look for themes we need to discuss.” 

‘“Themes?” He asked. 

“You know, on going issues that need to be addressed.” He nodded and emailed you his paper, which you would read tomorrow. You heard your phone buzz and took a quick glance. 

Em

al dont be upset

Al

then dont give me a reason to get upset

what is it

Em

……….. It’s themed

Al

are you kidding? were not freshmen, i dont wanna go to a stupid themed frat party

Em

its blackout !!!! itll be fun i promise

You turned your phone back down and didn’t realize you had an upset look on your face. 

“Everything ok?” He asked. 

“Just arguing in the group chat.” 

“Do you need to go?” He asked. 

“No, no, just arguing about tonight.” 

“What’s tonight?” 

“Tonight is not related to political conflict, which is what we should be talking about.” He laughed. 

“Do you ever have fun?” 

“Excuse me?” 

“I’m serious, do you ever have fun, or do you just go to sleep surrounded by planners and textbooks.” 

“That’s not funny. There’s a lot more about me that you don’t know.” 

“Clearly.” 

“So we’re starting off with socioeconomic issues over time and the class strugle. Did you read the Marx chapters?” 

“Yup. Didn’t understand a word of it.” 

“Ok, let’s get into it.” You said and began rambling about the bourgeoisie and the communist manifesto. Politics was your favorite subject, you could talk about it for hours. 

You were having a really good discussion with Tom. It was global political conflict, and he was able to connect the themes to both America and England, which made you really pleased. 

You were pulled out of your discussion when your phone vibrated. 

Iz

pickin up panera anyone want anything 

“Jeez it’s already past 6:30, I gotta go.” You said. 

“Oh, I’m sorry.” He said. 

“No it’s not your fault, I get so into politics I lose track of time.” “I can tell.” He said as you both packed up your stuff. 

“Wanna grab some food?” He asked. 

“Sorry, can’t,” you said. 

“Why, got a hot date?” He joked. 

“Maybe,” you said. 

“At least let me walk you to wherever you’re going.” 

“You don’t have to do that.” 

“Well where are you going?” 

“Congression Hall?” You replied. 

“Wait, you live there?” 

“Uhm, yes? Me along with practically every other junior.” 

“What floor?” 

“8.” You said. 

“Should’ve guessed.” He replied as you started walking across the quad. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“Honors 8. I forgot you were in hc.” He was referring to the eighth and top floor of Congression Hall, which was reserved for the honors college juniors. 

“Yeah.” You said simply. 

“I’m on six, by the way.” He said. “That’s why I was curious. I’ve never seen you around there.” 

“I’m not usually, I only really use it for sleep.” 

“Of course,” he replied. 

“I assumed you lived in a frat house.” You commented. 

“Nah, next year.” He said with a wink. “Speaking of frat houses, there’s kind of this party going on at Delt tonight-” 

“I’m aware.” You said, cutting him off. 

“Ah, well, if you want I can get you on the list.” You smiled to yourself. 

“No need, I’m already on the list.” You said. 

“Oh?” He said, clearly embarrassed. “Because of delta nu?” 

“Nope.” You said, not offering any other information. 

“Well maybe I’ll see you there then.” 

“Even if you do see me there, I will be pretending I don’t know you.” 

“Why?” He asked, clearly offended. “I run that house.” He joked, trying to play off the embarrassment. 

“No offense, but your reputation would not be good for mine.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“Well I have a certain reputation in the greek community, and if people see me with you they’ll get the wrong idea.” 

“The wrong idea?” He asked as you walked in the lobby of your building. 

“Well, see, the thing is,” you said, stepping into the elevator. He pressed the button for six and eight. “I have certain standards. If people see me with you, they’ll think I’ve…” 

“Wow, you are really uptight, aren’t you?” 

“Excuse me?” 

“Certain standards? Jesus christ, you’re not the queen, Y/N. And I don’t have a bad reputation. But god forbid I don’t live up to your ‘standards.’” He said, storming off the elevator without another word, clearly upset. You sighed. Good job, Y/N. 

Tom got to his room and threw his stuff on the floor, collapsing on his bed. His head hurt from all the tutoring, and trying to focus on not staring at your lips. 

delt juniors

Tom

aight important question guys

Cal

whats up tommy

Tom

do you guys know a girl called Y/N Y/L/N? shes a delta nu

Joey

dan knows her ;)

Cal

fuck, Y/N? what are you doing with her? 

Tom

shes tutoring me stop buggin 

Max

i know her which u know shes in hc with me 

Liam

oh danny DEFINITLY knows her 

Will

who doesnt know Y/N? shes a hot commodity

Tom

what do you mean? 

Cal

shes like the perfect girl next door, totally hot and so smart which just makes her hotter

Will

doesnt help that shes a huge fuckin flirt AND can hold her alc

Joey

dan is being suspiciously quiet……..

Dan

shut up joe

Liam

care to share with tommy your story with Y/N, daniel? 

Dan

i hate u all 

fine

i was like in love with her freshman year

and i thought she was into me too

and we made out a couple of times but nothing else

the second she found out i was in delt she stopped talking to me

like complete radio silence 

Tom

wtf? Why? 

Cal

she doesnt fuck with delts

thats like common greek knowledge

Will

maybe its because shes gonna be dchi sweetheart? 

Joey

nah theres gotta be something else

Harrison

well i just put her on the list for tonite

Tom

wait YOU put her on the list?! 

Harrison

yeah i invited her friend Emily Gold and she doesnt go anywhere without Y/N and these two other girls

Cal

Ally Park and Isabelle Miller

Harrison

yeah howd u know? 

Cal

theyre like those cool girls from high school everyones obsessed with that are just out of everyones league

Tom

wow american high schools are so weird

Dan

tom if u wanna get with her i wont be pissed

Tom

nah like you said she hates delts, and after three tutoring sessions with me i guarentee i am her least favorite delt ever

Liam

theres no fuckin way she shows up tonight

she wouldnt be caught dead at a delt party

Noah

wait you said Y/N Y/L/N may come tonight????

DIBS

DIBS DIBS DIBS

I CALL DIBS

Cal

noah u seriously show up just to call dibs?

Noah

yeah bro have u seen her? if she comes tonight and any of you try to cockblock me i stg ill deck you

Dan

pretty sure tommy has rightful dibs to this one

Tom

nah fam she hates me so fuckin much

let noah try his luck

i doubt she’ll even show

Max

she’ll show. 

Tom

what makes u say that? 

Liam

max does know her best

Max

she and ally and emily and isabelle are ride or die. they circulate who picks what party they go to and if its emilys turn and harrison somehow conviced her to go, Y/N wont miss it

Dan

she hasnt set foot in a delt house since freshman year, you seriously think she’ll show? 

Max

five bucks says she does

Dan

youre on 

Noah

i just wanna make it clear

that if she does show

D I B S

[idreamofplaid]

Through the Fire

Square Filled: firefighter!Sam

Characters: Sam x Reader; Dean; Ellen; Bobby briefly; John and Mary mentioned

Rating: Teen

Summary: The reader knows Sam’s job is dangerous. One day she has to face the reality of that.

Word Count: 1297

Created for @spnaubingo

You knew what you were getting into when you married Sam. This could happen, happen any day. He could get hurt; he could get hurt badly. You had pushed that thought from your mind refusing to live in fear and miss all the wonderful moments you could share together.

When the fire chief called, you knew. It was in his voice before he even said anything. It was a house fire. The roof had caved in, and a beam had fallen on Sam. He’d suffered 2nd degree burns, and you needed to get to the hospital.

You felt hollow inside as you dialed Dean and asked him to meet you there. “Y/N, are you okay to drive? I’ll come get you. I can be there in ten minutes.”

Everything inside you was shaking, but your hand holding the phone was still remarkably steady like it didn’t know the foundation of your world had been shaken. “Just meet me there, Dean. I need to get to him.” Sam’s parents had gone to Florida for their wedding anniversary. They wouldn’t be able to get back to Lawrence before tomorrow, so you would call them later when you knew more.

Dean was waiting for you by the emergency room doors: He opened his arms and hugged you tight for a few seconds. You welcomed the brief opportunity to lean on someone before facing whatever it was that lay ahead of you. You reluctantly let go of Dean knowing you couldn’t put this off any longer. “How is he, Dean?”

He’d left his hands on your shoulders when you pulled back from the hug, and he looked directly in your eyes. “I don’t know, Sweetheart. They wouldn’t talk to me. They’ve been waiting for you; you’re his next of kin.” Dean said that last part as softly as he could because that couldn’t mean anything good.

He led you back to the admissions desk, and you heard him tell the nurse there, “My brother’s wife is here now.”

In a few minutes, an older bearded man walked up to you and introduced himself as Dr. Singer. The look on his face was serious and filled with empathy. “Mrs. Winchester, your husband has suffered severe burns, and he is in extreme pain due to his injuries. It is my recommendation that he be put into a medically induced coma while his burns heal.”

The words were getting all jumbled in your head. Suffered. Pain. Coma. “You...you want to put him in a coma?”

“It’s a standard procedure in this type of situation, Mrs. Winchester. When someone has been burned as badly as your husband, the pain is often too much to bear. The dressings on his wounds will need to be changed frequently, and that is particularly painful.” You didn’t respond. All you could think about was Sam being in pain. “Mrs. Winchester, I need your permission to do that. Your husband is incoherent at the moment,”

The shaky feeling inside you intensified. “Can I see him?”

The doctor nodded. “But you should prepare yourself before you go in.”

You tried to brace yourself for what you would see, but the sound of Sam’s screams was something you would remember forever. The only intelligible word he said was your name. You couldn’t touch him. They had strapped him down so he wouldn’t flail around and hurt himself more.

The nurse in the room with you had likely been in these situations before and could read your expression. She said to you gently, “He’s disoriented. He probably wouldn’t know it’s you touching him.” She smiled as she adjusted Sam’s IV. “But it’s clear how much he loves you and wants you with him. He’s been saying your name since he got here.” Tears filled your eyes.

You looked at her with pleading eyes. “Please, stop this. I can’t stand to see him like this.”

“Would you like me to let the doctor know you’ve agreed to the coma?”

The first tear made it’s way down your cheek, and you wiped it away. “Yes. Tell him yes.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You stayed by Sam’s side all the time except when Dean insisted you go home to shower, eat, and get some sleep. At those times, he took over for you watching his little brother. There was only one reason you didn’t give Dean more of an argument. You were carrying Sam’s baby, a baby you hadn’t had a chance to tell him about.

The nurse who had been so kind to you the first night they brought Sam in had become somewhat of a friend. You had learned her name was Ellen, and she had watched you sitting silently by Sam’s side, brushing his hair off his face and holding his hand. Looking at him lying in the bed it was hard to believe anything was wrong. Sam’s burns were on his chest and torso. But when Ellen or one of the other nurses changed his dressing, you could feel your heart get heavier.

Once you’d had to leave the room when a wave of Morning Sickness hit you. When you returned, Ellen gave you a knowing look. “Does he know?”

You shook your head and looked away at the monitor measuring Sam’s heart rate. The beep was comforting and the most frightening sound you’d ever heard. If it stopped, your world stopped with it. Ellen stopped to touch your arm on the way out of the room. “Just because his eyes are closed, it doesn’t mean he can’t hear you. Talk to him.”

After she left, you sat down in the chair beside Sam’s bed. You took his hand in yours. It was still so big, still felt strong. “Sam, it’s me. Y/N. I’m here, Honey. I’m with you just like I promised when I married you. I told you I’d stay by you through everything. And that night, when we were alone, I told you again. I miss you, Sam. I miss your beautiful eyes and the way you look at me.” You carefully lifted his hand and kissed the back of it. “I have something important to tell you. We’re going to have a baby. You’re gonna be a daddy, Sam.” You took a deep breath. “So you just keep getting better. Keep getting better and come back to us.”

Two days later Sam opened his eyes. You had been reading the second Game of Thrones book to him. He loved the show and had read the first book. Ellen assured you that just hearing your voice was good for him. You were reading about the latest evil thing the Lannisters had done when you heard Sam’s voice weak and hoarse. “Y/N.” You dropped the book and called for help.

Sam improved quickly after that. He no longer needed oxygen to breathe and had started to eat some solid food. You were feeding him jello that night when he put his hand on your wrist before you could gather another bite on the spoon. “Y/N, I’m sorry. I promised you I’d be careful. I never wanted to put you through this.”

You put down the cup and spoon. “Sam, I’m sure you were careful. You have kept every promise you ever made to me. Some things just happen, and you can’t do anything to prevent it.” You lay your hand tenderly on the side of his face and kissed him softly. You pulled back only slightly. Your face still inches from his. “Do you remember the promise you made to me when you said you’d give me the family that I wanted? It’s happening, Sam. We’re going to have a baby.” His eyes filled with amazement and for the first time in two weeks, you saw your husband smile.

Tags: @spnaubingo @tumbler-tidbits @coffee-obsessed-writer @girl-next-door-writes @sandlee44 @hunterscabin @cosicas-cuquis @ohnowin-chester @waywardbaby @akhuna01 @maddiepants @evansrogerskitten @just-another-busy-fangirl @sorenmarie87 @ladywinchester1967 @mrsdeanfuckingwinchester @sea040561 @atc74 @mrs-meghan-winchester @ellen-reincarnated1967 @volleyballer519 @bitterstar88 @timelordy-fangirl2 @stusbunker @mariekoukie6661 @myinconnelly1 @thoughtslikeaminefield @oldfreakything @wotinspntarnation @ackleholicwinchester @buckyscrystalqueen @death-unbecomes-you @supernaturalsammy01 @a-mess-of-many-fandoms @sammyimpala-67 @alleiradayne @fandomgalcentral @saltandburn-ilovesamwinchester @mrssamfuckingwinchester @daisymoder72 @arwenadreamer @emerald002 @letbuckyeathisgoddamnplums @wendibird @mereka18 @dean-winchesters-bacon @logical-princey @unabashedsoul97 @emilyshurley @theladydetective @fullmooner @fearthewalkingbitch @sammit-janet @crashdevlin @sculptorofbeginnings @seppys-return-to-madness @idabbleincrazy @waywardnerd67 @peridottea91 @team-free-will-you-idjits-67 @kickingitwithkirk @that67chevy @ballistic-bailey @beenlovingromansincedayoneish @spnxbsessed @ladylilithprime @closetspngirl @heycasbutt @sammywinchester-obsessed @the-is13 @deansyahtzee @thedreamsmith @taylasara @rebelminxy @focusonspn @dreaminblue67 @crazy-tortoise-lady @theholyfoxface @treat-winchesterswith-kindness @waywardwilled @cap-just-said-language @stupefystudies

[fanfics4all]

Different Sister

Request: Yes / No can you do something where reader is Betty sister (Alice and Hal are readers parents) and she start becoming friends with the serpents. Then she joins and Alice and Hal are very mad, and as punishment send her to the sisters of quiet mercy! can it be a jughead x reader cooper 💕💕 I hope you like the idea Anon

Request are closed <3 Have a nice day/night

Jughead Jones x Cooper!Reader

Word count: 2178

Warnings: Electroshock therapy 

Y/N: Your Name

Y/N/N: Your Nickname

Y/H/C: Your Hair Color

Y/E/C: Your Eye Color 

PLEASE DO NOT STEAL MY WORK, I WORK HARD ON MY FICS AND IT’S NOT COOL TO STEAL SOMEONE ELSE’S WORK!

If you want to be on the tag list for anything (My series fics, specific character fics, or just all of them) All you have to do is send me an ask and I will add you!

Masterlist

(Not my photo, credit to whoever made it!)

Growing up with the perfect sister and the almost perfect sister was hard. I was always held to high standards that I couldn’t live up to those standards. I was the disappointment to the Cooper family because I didn’t get A’s in school, I didn’t worry about college as much as my sister, and I joined the Serpents against my parents wishes. I joined to help my boyfriend Jughead Jones, the Serpents always liked me and Jughead was kind of their leader, just like his dad. My parents didn’t know I was in the Serpents and I was planning on keeping it that way for as long as possible. They already hated that I was dating FP Jones’ kid so if they found out I was a Serpent, I’m pretty sure they’d actually kill me.

I’ve been a Serpent for a little over three months now and my parents were none the wiser. I couldn’t be happier with the Serpents, since they were more of a family to me than my actual crazy family. They care about me more than my parents did and they didn’t give a shit about me being from the Northside, shockingly. I was walking home from school with Betty, I wasn’t wearing my jacket because Jughead and I wanted to keep it a secret. So it was hidden in my room so my nosy mother wouldn’t find it. We walk inside and there were our parents looking unhappy.

“What’d I do now?” I asked knowing it was probably about me.

“Betty, go to your room. This doesn’t concern you.” Our dad said.

“Whatever she did, I’m sure it wasn’t that bad.” Betty said and I smiled a little, she always did have my back.

“Betty go.” He said, but before she could move our mother pulled out my Serpent jacket and my eyes widened.

“Why do you have a Serpent jacket?” She asked annoyed and I bit my lip.

“That Beanie-Wearing Cab corrupted you! I knew he would! He’s just like his father!” She shouted and  I narrowed my eyes at her.

“Don’t talk about my boyfriend like that! The Serpents are a better family than you two!” I shouted back.

“Y/N.” Betty said in a warning tone, she was always trying to keep me out of trouble like the good sister she is.

“How dare you talk to me and your mother like that!” Our father shouted at me.

“I knew you would go down the dark road and ruin your life. I thought we’d be able to stop you.” Our mother said with a sigh.

“Mom, she’s not ruining her life!” Betty said shocked.

“Stay out of this Elizabeth.” She said.

“We didn’t want to do this Y/N…” Our dad said and I looked at them confused.

“Do what? Ground me again?” I asked and they shook their heads. As if on cue the front door opened and two male nurses walked in with a nun.

“What’s this?” I asked confused.

“It’s obvious you’re a danger to yourself, these people will help you dear.” Our father said and my eyes widened.

“The sisters helped Polly and I, now they’ll help you.” Our mother said and I shook my head.

“No! I don’t need help!” I shouted and tried to run, but the nurses grabbed me.

“Mom! Dad! You can’t put Y/N in there!” Betty shouted.

“We’re trying to save her Betty.” Our father said.

“Betty! Call Jughead, tell him what’s going on!” I shouted as they dragged me away. I saw her nod and then they threw me in a van.

Jughead’s POV

It was late and I was at the Wyrm with Toni, Sweet Pea, and Fangs. We were all hanging out when my phone started ringing. I pulled it out of my pocket and saw it was Betty. I looked at it confused and answered it.

“Hello?” I asked.

“Jug! It’s Y/N!” She said freaking out.

“What? What’s wrong?” I asked worried. Toni, Sweet Pea, and Fangs looked at me confused.

“My parents found her Serpent jacket and they put her in The Sisters of Quiet Mercy! We need to try and get her out of there!” She said and my eyes widened.

“They what!?” I shouted.

“Jug, we have to get her out.” She said.

“We will, where are you?” I asked grabbing my jacket.

“I’m at the school, I couldn’t be in the same house as my parents right now.” She said and I could hear that she was trying to hold back tears.

“Okay, I’ll be right over and we’ll try to figure out something.” I said and hung up.

“What’s going on Jones?” Fangs asked.

“Y/N’s parents found her jacket and now she’s in the Sisters of Quiet Mercy.” I answered annoyed.

“What?” Sweet Pea asked shocked.

“Well, we gotta get her out of that hell.” Toni said and I nodded.

“I’ll text Cheryl to meet us, she’ll help us.” She said and I looked at her.

“You guys wanna help?” I asked and they all nodded.

“Hell yeah, she’s our friend.” Fangs said and I nodded.

“Then let’s go.” I said and we all left for the school. Cheryl met us there and we walked in to find Betty freaking out.

“Calm down cousin, we’ll get her back.” Cheryl said going over to comfort her.

“We better do it fast.” She said sniffling.

Y/N’s POV/Two months later

It’s been two months that I’ve been in this hell. The first week I was here I was being my normal self and not doing what these phycos wanted me to do. I quickly learned this was a terrible idea… First they just put me in solitary confinement, but that did very little. So then they change my punishment to being smacked with a ruler, it was a little more effective, but I wasn’t going to let them break me with something so stupid. They learned this and changed it to something so much worse… Electroshock therapy… The fried my brain many times and finally broke me… I was terrified and did as I was told. If I did one little thing wrong I would get shocked, they never did it too high because they didn’t want to do permanent damage to my brain. I was so scared that when I wasn’t doing chores or art, or whatever other thing they made us do, I would stay in my room alone. I sat in the corner and rocked back and forth like a small child in a horror movie. They had broken me… I was nothing but a shell of my former self… I was no longer the Y/N Cooper that everyone knew, I was broken…

“Y/N, time for your medicine. Let’s go.” Sister Woodhouse said coming into my room.

“Yes sister…” I answered quietly. I got up and followed her to the common room. I got in line for my medicine and once it was my turn I took the cup. I swallowed whatever was in the small paper cup and tossed it in the trash.

“Why don’t you read a book child, you need to do something other than sit in your room.” She said and I nodded.

“Yes sister, I’m sorry…” I said and she smiled.

“It’s okay child, you’re getting better.” She said and lead me to a chair. She sat me down and handed me a book.

“Thank you sister…” I said quietly and she nodded.

“Read this until dinner or you will have to be punished.” She said and my eyes widened.

“Yes sister.” I said and immediately opened the book.

Jughead’s POV

We had finally figured out a plan to get Y/N out of that hell. It took us awhile since they covered up the tunnel Toni used to get Cheryl out. We found an old door in the back that they didn’t lock and snuck in. Once we were inside we split up in two’s, Toni was with Cheryl, Sweet Pea was with Fangs, and I was with Betty. We each took a different wing and went looking. Betty and I were looking through different rooms, occasionally hiding from nurses and nuns. We were searching for twenty minutes and were about to give up on our wing when I saw her. She was sitting in a room alone rocking back and forth muttering to herself.

“Betty!” I whisper-yelled and she came over to me.

“We need to get in.” I said and she pulled out one of her bobby pins. She picked the locks and we walked in.

“Y/N?” I said gently and she looked up, I’ve never seen her so scared in her life.

“What did they do to you?” Betty asked walking over to her sister. She gently placed a hand on her and Y/N jumped away. She tucked a piece of her Y/H/C behind her ear and Betty gasped.

“Jug, look.” She said and I walked closer. There were circular burn marks on the side of her head.

“Oh my God…” I said shocked.

“You have to leave. I’ll get in trouble. Please sister, I’ve been good I promise… Please don’t punish me again…” She begged and tears left her eyes.

“Y/N, baby, It’s me and Betty. We’re here to save you.” I said gently and she shook her head.

“No, I’ve been bad. I need to get better. I’m getting better…” She said and it broke my heart to see her like this.

“Betty, call the others and tell them to get here, we’re gonna need their help. Especially Sweet Pea and Fangs.” I said and she nodded. I gently touched Y/N’s arm and she backed away.

“It’s okay baby, you’re gonna be okay.” I said and tried to pull her to me.

“Please no! I’ve been good!” She cried and I hushed her.

“Shhhh, someone will hear you.” I said to her and tears just fell from her beautiful Y/E/C.

“You found her! Great now let’s get out of this hell hole.” Cheryl said.

“She won’t move.” I said and they looked at her.

“What did they do to her?” Toni asked.

“I think they electrocuted her.” I said and they all looked at her shocked.

“Those sick fucks.” Fangs said and everyone nodded.

“She’s not gonna come with us willingly. Fangs, Sweet Pea, I need you two to carry her.” I said.

“Why us?” Sweet Pea asked.

“Because she can’t fight both of you off.” I said and they nodded.

“Come on Y/N.” They said going to grab her.

“No! No! Please! I’ve been good! Please don’t shock me again! Please I’m sorry! I’ll be good I promise! I’ll be good!” She cried trying to fight them off.

“Uhhh, Jughead?” Toni said.

“What?” I asked looking at her.

“We’ve got some nuns and nurses coming…” She said and I looked down the hall.

“Come on, we gotta go!” I said and we all ran. Sweet Pea had Y/N over his shoulder and she was trying to fight out of his grip. We ran for the door we came in and just barely made it out. They put her in the back of my dad’s truck and we all got in. Y/N was crying and fighting the whole way back to my place. Once we got there Sweet Pea took her inside and put her on the couch. I sat next to her and tried to pull her into me again but she pushed me away.

“Y/N, you’re safe here.” Betty said sitting next to her sister.

“Please don’t punish me again. I swear I’ll be good sister…” She said crying.

“Shhhh, no one’s gonna hurt you again.” I said gently and pulled her to me. She tried to fight but I kept her in place, she needed to know she was finally safe.

“It’s okay Y/N/N… You’re safe.” I whispered. She looked up at me and it was like she was seeing me for the first time since we found her.

“J-Jughead?” She asked and I nodded with a small smile.

“I’m right here baby, you’re okay.” I said and she cried and held me tightly.

“They broke me Juggie…” She said and I sighed.

“I know… I’m sorry I couldn’t save you sooner…” I said and she moved closer to me.

“Don’t let them take me again… Please…” She begged.

“Never again, okay? You can stay here. We’ll all keep you safe.” I said looked around at everyone. She lifted her head and looked at her friends and family.

“Serpents protect their own.” Toni said and everyone nodded.

“I’m not going to let mom and dad find you okay?” Betty said and Y/N nodded.

“You’re safe here. I promise.” I said and kissed her head.

“Thank you…” She whispered and everyone smiled slightly. She was safe, but she wasn’t the Y/N we knew anymore… They broke her and who knows if we can bring her back...

Tag list: @les-bio-lie @tashy-bear @xrosesareredx @herokyolachan @ashwarren32 @hollie-blogs @schisbro87 @lover-of-books-and-teas @nerdygaloresposts @alex--awesome--22 @teenwolfbitches2 @genius2050 @drw0301bieber @tigermillionaire-philanthropist @marveloverdcsstuff @lady-of-lies @hiya-imthatgirl @answer-the-sirens @mindsetjupiter @averysinclaire @mittelerde1999 @sweetest-peas @rousewriter @jjkingston @k-is-cray @camiconfessions @thecaptainsgingersnap @pettyjayy @rainbow-noodles @lovelywordsblog

[maxattack-powell]

The Freshman 2-11b

The Freshman Book 2 - 11b Chapter 11b: A Hard Day’s Night 

***Labeled as 2-11b in my masterlist - new chapters added to include more***

Masterlist - go here for other chapters and related original fics

Disclaimer: The following are fics (adaptations from actual game chapters AND original works) to Choices: The Freshman series. It is a fictional adaptation. I do not work for Pixelberry Studios, the game developer or own the rights to the characters Chris Powell, Nicole or any other IN GAME character. All of the ORIGINAL characters, storylines and events were developed, by me, for this adaptation of The Freshman story.

Comments: I enjoyed playing Choices: The Freshman… But it needed more. I’ve included certain things that aren’t really full fic size in order to add more substance to the story. I ALSO have quite a few full size fics throughout. I wanted to see MC and Chris through their college years, and more… with additional angst, fluff, sweetness, real life and overall detail - so here you go.

Word Count: 10,232

NSFW moments in some chapters - Mature Readers Only Please

Paring: MC x Chris

POV: ~MC~ or ~Chris~

~MC~

The tall freshman begins to stir, something telling her that it was time to get up. She uncurls from her standard sleeping position and blinks slowly a few times. She’s cold, which by the looks of her surroundings, she shouldn't be. MC was still in Chris’s room, which means he should be wrapped around her, like he typically is when they sleep in the same bed. Her brow furrows as she begins to sit up, thinking that he must have left without waking her to go to the gym.

The sudden movement behind her startles MC and she spins quickly at the hip, eyes wide as she finds the quarterback in question still in bed behind her. She frowns when she looks at him though, instantly feeling that something was off. Chris’s body language was unusual for his normal behaviors, laying fat with one arm bent and laying across his eyes. That wasn't the strange part though, or the fact that he was completely without covers seeing as he is a walking furnace. It’s the flushed tint to his cheeks, the light sheen of sweet across his now bare chest that was worrying her. Chris went to bed wearing a t-shirt and had been under the covers with her when they finally passed out the night before.

Something was wrong.

MC moves gently, shifting her legs around until she's kneeling on the bed next to her boyfriend. She shimmies closer, leaning forward enough to grasp his forearm and pull it down from his face. When she does he takes a deep breath and shifts, but it sounds a thick and his eyes don't open. They just slide back and forth under his lids as if he’s in a dream. It’s usually not hard to wake Christopher Powell, something MC has learned the hard way over the last few months.

This was not a good sign.

She lays the underside of her wrist on his forehead and waits. It doesn't feel abnormally hot, but his skin feels warmer and a little clammy. MC sits back on her heels and chews her lower lip as she assesses his behavior. He doesn't seem to have a fever, at least not a high one. His skin still looks normal, minus the mild sticky feeling at the touch.

“Maybe he just had a bad night’s sleep?” She mumbles to herself.

Her spoken words change everything, turning him to her like a beacon of light in the night for a lost ship. Chris’s eyes flutter open, searching the space around him slowly before his gaze falls on hers. “Hey baby.”

Her brow furrows and he seems to notice, his own expression beginning to mirror her look of concern. “What’s wrong beautiful?”

She continues to chew on her bottom lip, occasionally shifting to gnaw on the inside of her cheek as she lays her hand on his arm. “Do you feel okay Chris?”

He frowns deeper as he sits up, his eyes never leaving hers. “Ayuh… why?” He reaches to hold her hand, wrapping his warm one around hers as he clears his throat. “What is it?”

MC pulls her hand from his, reaching out to place one flat on his chest, the other on his forehead again. “I woke up cold and thought I was alone… when I turned to find you in bed, you…” Her nose scrunches up. “Well you looked like you might be sick, I swear you were kinda hot and even sweating.”

Chris gives her a small smile. “MC, I don’t get sick… not like colds or anything. I’m alright.”

She shakes her head. “I donno. I think something’s wrong.” Her eyebrow arches as she continues to speak. “I mean seriously, you skipped going to the gym...”

He chuckles while gently wrapping his hands around hers before bringing them to his lips. He kisses both sets of knuckles lightly before resting their joined hands in her lap. “Okay, I skipped the gym. After yesterday I wanted to be here when you woke up... and I didn’t feel like fighting you to go with me this morning.”

MC snorts. “Liar.”

He shrugs. “I really am okay. My throat is a little sore but I was running around like crazy yesterday, I probably just need a day off.”

Her eyes narrow and he laughs again. “Come on Doc… let’s go get some breakfast and head to class.”

The pair manages to get ready for the day with just enough time to stop by the campus cafe and grab a few items. MC gives him a curious look when he orders twice his normal coffee order and barely eats his breakfast croissant.

As they walk towards their first classes, Chris catches her eyeing him suspiciously as he takes a long drag from his cup. “What woman?”

His smile was wide, but not as bright as she’s used to seeing. “Feeling tired? Not super hungry?”

Chris shrugs and switches his cup to the other hand before using the now free one to pull her close. When he doesn't say anything, her eyes narrow and she studies him even harder than before.

~Chris~

Feeling the hole being burned into the side of his face, the tall freshman turns and immediately begins to laugh. “Oh my god, whaaaaat…”

She stops and crosses her arms, forcing him to stop with her so he doesn’t drag her forward. “You're not a big coffee guy… remember? And not eating all of your food? Who are you…”

Chris takes a deep breath and shakes his head. He wants her to let this go. He doesn't get sick, not like this. Sure he had the flu once as a kid, but it’s rare for him to get sick. He wasn't sick. He can’t be getting sick. He doesn't have the time for something like this right now.

When his gaze moves back to hers he shifts uncomfortably. “I told you MC, I’m fine.” When her frown deepens he sighs and pulls her into his chest. “Really.”

She burrows her nose into his chest and he swears he can feel the cold tip through his sweater. “Can we go to class now? If we’re late, the professor is going to kill us.”

MC begrudgingly agrees and they make double time, making it into the room just in time to see the professor walking in. The day continues like normal, the two meeting when possible between classes, getting a bite together for lunch and eventually heading to their last class for the day.

~MC~

MC waits for Chris in the hallway outside of his history class and searches on her phone. She’s noticed his behaviors changing more throughout the day. He had become more sluggish, barely eating half of his lunch, drinking from his water bottle more than usual, let out the occasional cough. Things like that.

Being someone who had seasonal change reactions, typical sore throats and mild coughs thanks to her sinuses, MC was no stranger to his current predicament. If he would just let her help, she could possibly cut his inevitable suffering time in half. Maybe even lower, but he had been so stubborn with her all day.

The door to his classroom opens and she looks up from her position against the wall, her gaze gliding across student after student until they finally land on his broad back. When Chris steps out into the hall and he looks absolutely drained. She watches as he takes a deep breath, reaching up to drag his hand through his hair.

Compared to the cute, controlled loose curls it had when they left the suite this morning, it was now fluffy and generally messy. She can tell he has been running his hand through it a lot throughout the day. Just another sign that something isn't right. Chris typically only plays with or pulls on his hair when he’s anxious, unsettled, angry or upset in some way.

“Or sick.” She says softly to herself, adding it to the list as she begins to approach him.

Chris meanders through the halls, angling his wide frame between other students and faculty as he goes. MC watches his movements as she gains on him, shaking her head briefly as he continues to prove her theory correct. She sighs and reaches out, sliding her hand through his arm and hooking on his elbow.

~Chris~

He spins at the contact, his eyes down on the hand around his arm before he turns his gaze to its owner. His eyes look up and MC gives him a soft smile, watching his concerned expression from someone touching him so intimately. The moment he sees its her everything changes, his face becoming soft and loving.

“Hey babe… I was going outside to look for you.” He gives her a sluggish smile, doing his best to hide the fact that he’s actually starting to feel a little rough after the long day.

“We got out early so I waited for you.” She kisses his jacketed shoulder as he pulls her closer. “Come on, let's go back to the suite.”

They walk for a while in silence, almost making it to the parking lot of their building before Chris decides to say something. “You don’t have to do this yanno.”

MC glances over at him, her expression overly innocent. “Walk with you to the suite?”

He hasn’t forgotten her words of concern from earlier in the day. They are still quite clear on her face even though she hasn't verbally brought it up again. He takes a deep breath, doing a quick assessment of how he feels, deciding that it could be worse, deciding it's just some sinus irritation that will go away by tomorrow. There was no way he was going to tell her she might be right. He just needs to go to bed earlier tonight. Just needs to get more rest. He will be good in the morning. He has to be. Sebastian wasn't going to rest, so he couldn't either.

Chris takes a deep breath and shakes his head as he tightens his grip around her shoulders. “No Miss Cherry. Play nurse. I told you I was fine. I don’t want you to worry about me.”

“I didn't say anything.” She mumbles as she turns her focus forward.

“You didn't have to. I’ve seen the look on your face all day…” He leans over and kisses her temple. “I just need to chill out, take a break. I’ve been working too hard on this campaign stuff.”

“Uh huh.” She grumbles as they reach their building.

~MC~

They make their way inside and end up working on more homework for a while. Zack and Tyler are at the table too, working through their shared math class as Chris and MC work through various assignments.

After a while, Chris mentions needing another book and disappears into the dark hallway, heading for his room. When he’s gone for an unreasonable amount of time, MC stands and leaves the kitchen table to check on him.

The guys both look up and Zack frowns. “He’s getting worse isn't he…”

MC glances at him and nods with a frown. “Yes, and he's so damn stubborn about it.”

Tyler laughs and puffs his chest out, doing his best impression of his friend. “But Mainers don't get sick.”

Zack swats at him and he instantly deflates. “What… it's true. Cold and flu infection numbers are actually quite low in Maine compared to the rest of the United States.”

Their curly haired friend comically face palms as Tyler shrugs and throws his arms up in defense. “I mean...”

MC shakes her head and turns back to the hall, ignoring the two behind her as she approaches the quarterback's cracked door. She hears something further down the hall though and pauses, looking up to find Kaitlyn standing halfway out of her doorway, clearly frozen when she sees MC.

The tall blonde opens her mouth to say something, but she never gets the chance, seeing how quickly Kaitlyn turns back into her room and shuts her door with a little too much force. MC sighs loudly, not realizing as Abbie walks out of her room a second later, glancing at Kaitlyn’s door with an arched brow.

She turns to look at MC as she heads towards the living space and pats her on the shoulder. “Just give her time… I’m sure she will figure it all out.”

“Yeah.” MC says in a hushed breath as she glances briefly at the shut door before turning to face Abbie and jutting her thumb behind her. “You might want to get out there. Zack looked like he might choke Tyler soon.”

Abbie laughs softly and shakes her head. “Maybe I should go back to my room instead.”

They both chuckle before Abbie gives MC a warm smile and moves towards the shared suite space once more. When she turns and faces Chris’s door she hesitates before she knocks. A small smile appears when she hears a soft snore spill through from the other side though the crack. Pushing the door open just enough to peek inside, she finds Chris sprawled out on his bed, one leg hanging off while a book lays split open on his chest.

She pulls her bottom lip in as she takes a few more steps inside and bends over him. Her wrist finds the same spot on his forehead from earlier in the day and after only a few seconds she jerks it back. His skin was hot, and upon further assessment, she found his cheeks were more flushed than when he ran a two miles’ sprint. Chris had his fair share of rosy cheeks on occasion, but this was more than anything she had seen outside of some serious cardio.

“Shit.” She hisses out, quickly covering her mouth as she stands back up and watches for his response.

There was none, except for a unusually loud and thick sounding snore. He really was getting worse.

“Okay. That’s it Powell.” He doesn't budge and she leaves his room, pulling the door closed before cutting into her room and digging through her nightstand.

She finds what she's looking for fairly quickly, grabbing an over the counter cold medication combo that has helped her okay before. She leaves and goes back to the shared space, snatching his water bottle from the table before heading into the kitchen to refill it with cool water, knowing most people need something to help get the medication down and he needed to stay hydrated.

As she moves around the group at the table, Zack looks up and frowns when they lock eyes. “That bad?”

MC doesn't say a word, her lips pressed tightly together speaking volumes and Zack nods. “What can I do MC?”

She sighs as she fills up her boyfriend’s bottle, twisting the top on tightly and wiping off the excess drips with one of the dishtowels. “He really hasn't eaten much all day. I’m about to give him some of these to help what may be a mild fever. Hopefully it will make him feel better too, but he really needs to eat more.”

Zack stands, patting Tyler on the back and getting an affirming nod from Abbie. “We’ve got you. Just tell us what to get.”

MC looks up and sees them all stand, her heart swelling with love for her friends. “Really?” When they flash her concerned smiles she lets out a held breath. “You guys are the best. I was going to go out but--”

Tyler and Abbie head towards the door to grab their jackets as Zack pulls his off the back of his chair. Tyler gives her a warm smile once more. “You stay here, get him to take that stuff and drink a lot of water. Text us what you need us to pick up.”

Abbie fixes Tyler’s jacket hood before turning to MC. “That includes something for you to eat too you know.”

MC laughs at Abbie’s motherly tone as Zack gives her a quick hug as the trio heads out. She pulls out her phone and quickly sends them a group text with some of Chris’s favorite foods from different areas close by, telling them to get whatever was most convenient for them, doubling whatever they order to keep it simple.

She also asks if they can grab a few more medications from the pharmacy near campus since her stash is a little low. She brought what she had from home when she started this year, and hasn't needed to use them until now, but she knew it wouldn't hurt to get a few items.

MC wants options just in case she can’t slow it down quick enough and it tries to spread into his lungs or something. She knows chances are good Chris will fight her on taking the medications tonight, but she believes she has a better chance of getting him to take them herself, then she has getting him to see the nurse first thing in the morning.

She grumbles incoherently to herself as she snatches the water bottle from the counter and heads back to his room, checking her pocket for the little bubble packet as she closes his door once more. He hasn't moved. She can’t help but smile at him, thinking that he looks kinda adorable when he’s sick. Not that she enjoys that he’s in this crappy situation, but the way he's laying right now reminds her of a soft little boy. He looks so young, so innocent at this moment.

Approaching his bed, she moves the book from his chest and sits on the edge, resting her hand where the book just was as she speaks. “Chris.”

Nothing. No response as he continues to drag in ragged breaths.

“Christopher Powell.” She says with a little more force, this time getting a reaction out of the long legged quarterback.

~Chris~

“Wha… MC?” He turns his head towards her, his movements and words groggy as he places his hand on hers. “Oh, hell. I sat down to check something and I must have fallen asleep. Sorry babe.”

She shakes her head and gives him a reassuring smile. “Here… take these.”

Chris sits up and gives her a curious expression as he holds his hand out and two identical white pills fall into his palm. He looks up and finds her giving him a serious look. That’s when he knows it’s over. He can’t fight her on it now, especially when how he really feels starts to seep in.

He takes a deep breath and closes his hands around the medication, reaching for the offered water bottle with his free hand. Without a word he tosses them in and swallows with a few gulps of water.

MC shakes her head. “Drink more please. You’ll need it.”

“This will be more than enough to shake it… you'll see MC.” He gives her a small smile, feeling his sore throat pull from the gesture. He does his best to hide his grimace but she sees it and his shoulders fall slightly. “Not falling for it, huh?”

For the first time all day he sees a genuine smile crosses her lips. “Nope.”

He chuckles and then groans. “Ugh, I shouldn't have done that.”

MC stands and gestures towards his person. “Come on, strip.”

His left eyebrow arches sharply as he looks up at her. “Um, what?”

She laughs. “I mean get out of those jeans and stuff. Get comfortable. You’re not going anywhere.”

He opens his mouth to argue but the daring glare she sends his way makes him snap it shut instantly. Without a word he stands and removes his jeans and button up, replacing them with long sleep pants and a soft Hartfeld hoodie. The more he moves the more he realizes how cold he is, how heavy his head feels. ‘Shit.’

“Cold?” She asks quietly as he sits back down on the bed and nods. “I think you’re working up a fever, but that medication should help soon.” She pulls his covers back as she hears the front door open and close. “Here, get in. I’ll be right back.”

Chris takes another big drink of water and props his pillows up so he can lean back against the headboard. He looks over towards his nightstand and realizes that he didn't bring his phone or anything back with him. Almost as if she knew what he was thinking, MC re-enters his room with a stack of his books against her chest with one arm, the other clutching a few plastic bags.

“Don’t you dare.” She threatens, making him smile as he watches her lay the stack on his desk and pull out his phone from her back pocket before tossing it to him.

He easily catches it without looking, his eyes glued to the bags in her hands as she approaches his bed once more. MC silently begins to pull item after item out of the noisy plastic and sets them down on his nightstand. His nose has begun to become useless, the congestion now bad enough to hinder his smelling ability, but a few distinct ones still make it through.

“What did you do?” He smiles wide when she looks into his eyes, giving him one in return.

“Our friends offered to pick something up while I checked on you, and they kinda got one of everything instead I suggested… so you have to eat it now. At least half.” She gives him a ‘try me’ look and he laughs.

“Half?” His eyes widen as he looks at all the items on the flat surface next to him.

“Yes sir. Zack said he would come in here if he had to.” She tilts her head and points at him with a little attitude, the curl at the end of her lips giving her seriousness away. “Don’t make me feed you Chris.”

His smile grows even bigger. “What if that’s exactly what I want…”

She scoffs at him, the smirk only growing. “You would, wouldn’t you.” It wasn't a question and they both laugh.

He does as she asks, eating more than half of the items their suite-mates brought back. It was easy for him when he started assessing his options, quickly realizing that every single item was a favorite of his. He watched MC eat as he finished the beefy burrito in his hands, his chest tight from thinking how awesome it was that she knew him so well already.

After they finish eating, and MC threatens him to not leave the bed for anything other than going to the bathroom, she cleans up and leaves to change into something more comfortable too. Chris plays on his phone as he waits for her to return, scrolling through his social media accounts to check on his friends Ryan and Ethan.

MC slips back into his room and shuts the door softly before sitting on the edge of his bed, facing him as she shuffles through the handful of items they collected at the pharmacy. He inconspicuously takes a picture of her from his point of view as she tucks some of her hair behind her ear. He pulls up his Instagram and ads a short caption before tagging them both and posting it.

dontcallmerogers08:  i dont think i mind being sick if i get all my favorite foods and a personal nurse.

It only took a few seconds before they were both making comments below.

ryan_thehawk22:  are you serious? tell her i have a cough and need assistance.

clark25superman:  @sw33tcherrypie don’t tell me he’s tricked you into thinking he’s sick? Cherryfield men don’t get sick.

Chris laughs when he sees their responses, making MC look up at him with the craziest look as her eyes narrow at him suspiciously. “What’s so funny…”

“Where’s your phone…” He tapers off as he looks around, finding it on his nightstand and handing it to her with the notifications blaring on the screen.

He watches her face as she opens the app and finds the post notifications. The smile that slides across her lips makes him feel better than anything the medication has done for him so far. She begins to type away on the screen and he waits for his phone to react, knowing it will light up in seconds. When it does, he pulls it up and grins with anticipation.

@sw33tcherrypie:  He’s not faking boys. The Captain is down. Find Tony and Bruce. We need backup.

Chris looks up at her with a blank expression, finding her wearing a shit eating grin as she shrugs. “What… Bruce is a doctor. And Tony is resourceful.”

Chris sighs as his phone buzzes again, knowing what type of comments he might see next.

clark25superman:  I was going to say something to that effect, but @sw33tcherrypie said it way better than I could have. Told you she was a keeper Rogers.

He looks up and finds her blushing, clearly avoiding his gaze, making him let out a huff of air through his grin. “I swear. I have the worst wingmen, ever.”

ryan_thehawk22:  they could never make CAPTAIN ROGERS behave. avengers civil war taught us that. its all up to you @sw33tcherrypie dont let us down.

MC starts to laugh and he looks up once more. “You okay there, big guy?”

Chris snorts with mild irritation. “Wrong. Avenger.”

She busts out laughing then and he tries his best to hold his ugly expression before losing the battle and joining in, knowing damn well that she mixed them on purpose to get a reaction out of him. After a few seconds of vigorous laughter, he starts coughing a little, his chest crackling more than he expected it to, but he plays it off and takes a drink of water as he avoids her gaze.

~MC~

Her ears don't miss the sound and she frowns as she watches him. “Will you see the nurse in the morning… please? I’m worried it’s getting worse.”

Chris waves her off and leans back, sliding further under his covers. “It’s not that bad MC. Seriously. I just need sleep. Okay?”

The irritated tone in his response stings a little and she nods once before tilting her head down, focusing on the small boxes in her hands as she remains quiet. Chris starts to fidget as the air in the room becomes a little tense while MC shuffles through a few items. She stops and opens one to pull some more medication out before laying them on his nightstand. She stands and lifts his water bottle, finding it half empty. She decides to refill it and returns it to its spot next to his bed before turning to face him.

MC clears her throat and gives him a small smile as she stands next to the bed. “I left you a few more to help you through the night… if, um… if you need it.” Her eyes flick to the table and stay there, doing her best to not to let his words bother her more than they already have. “Wait until after midnight to take them though… so they are spaced out enough.”

She turns without another word and walks towards the door, pausing when Chris speaks behind her. “Hey… wait.”

MC doesn’t quite stop as she opens the door and spins, backing out slowly when their eyes meet. “I still have some homework to do, so… so I’m going to go to my room, that way… that way you can rest. I’ll be across the hall if you need anything.”

Chris raises his hand, halfway reaching towards her as he opens his mouth to respond, but she cuts him off quickly. “Goodnight Chris. Sleep well... okay?”

~Chris~

She doesn't wait for a response as the door closes between them. The freshman quarterback sighs, his hand dropping to his side on the dark comforter with a muffled thud.

“Smooth Powell.”

He contemplates getting up and knocking on her door, knowing he would be interrupting her studying, but he feels he should apologize for being so hard headed about everything all day. He knew he was irritated though. Not at MC, but the fact that he didn't have time for this right now.

Ethan was right, they never got sick at home. So why now - why when he has so much class and campaign work to do? He groans as he accepts that he might actually be getting sick sick and not having some seasonal reaction like he had hoped.

Clenching his jaw, Chris reaches for his bedding, ready to flip it open and rush across the hall to his girlfriend as he envisions groveling at her feet. However, before he can get a handful of comforter, his phone lights up and he hesitates. All movements stop except for his hand as it snatches the phone, his eyes finding a text notification from Ryan.

‘tell me youre going to get a sponge bath’

Chris rolls his eyes and shakes his head as he types a quick response. ‘stfu hawkins.’

‘did you at least ask?! im pretty sure MC would do anything for you. especially if youre sick. dont waste this opportunity Chris’

His jaw clenches as he types a response. ‘too late. already blew it.’

‘how?! five minutes ago you were basically posting heart eyes’

‘hi, my name is chris powell and i dont get sick.’

‘touché’

Chris begins to type another response when a text from Ethan pops up on his screen.

‘Steph and I only have a few things to do before next week and were thinking about visiting you guys for the weekend if it was cool with you two, but if you're sick…’

His eyes light up at the message, knowing MC would be happy to see them both so soon. Chris had a feeling he might need some help digging himself out of the hole he just put himself in too. He quickly comes up with a plan, already deciding that he would go to the campus clinic as soon as it opens in the morning. He wanted to reassure MC that he would be okay, before asking if she would like to see them. Knowing he wouldn't be up for a lot of activity during their visit, and she would definitely bring it up, he starts thinking of relaxing things they could do around campus with their friends.

‘im going to see the nurse first thing in the morning just to be safe. i’ll let you know by noon’

‘Wow. Your mom can’t even get you to see the doctor. I’m impressed.’

‘dont be. it’s not my idea.’

‘You don’t think I know that?’

‘ha. touché.’

Chris snorts humorously at the odd circular conversation between his two friends before looking at his door again with a sigh. He stands and walks over, opening it enough to peek across the hall and see that her door was shut and there was no light showing underneath. Deciding that she either was or would soon to be asleep, Chris decides not to disturb her and turns back to his room with fallen shoulders.

He crawls back into bed and makes sure he verifies where the medication is that MC left him before he turns off the light and sets his alarm. She will be gone for class before the clinic opens so he sets it with enough time to get ready in time to make it across campus and be first in line.

-------

Instead of sleeping peacefully through the night, Chris wakes up more than once with mild hot and cold chills. Turning on the nightstand light, he groggily fumbles around until his hands find the little bubble packet and he sighs with relief. It was 2 a.m. and he had been struggling to stay asleep for at least an hour now.

He shakes his head, making a mental note to thank MC when he sees her in the morning for her foresight. After swallowing the two white pills with a large gulp of water, Chris drinks down about half of his bottle and curls back up into bed.

“Would have been better to let her take care of you, moron.” He mumbles.

The medication kicks in and he finally finds some peace, sleeping solidly for the next few hours until his alarm goes off. When he reaches over to hit snooze, he rolls flat onto his back and groans.

Yep. He was feeling worse.

Getting dressed as quickly as a sluggishly sick man can, Chris finally opens his door and looks across the hall. MC’s door is pulled to, but not fully closed. He knows she’s not inside though, feeling as if something was missing from himself like every time she was gone. He pulls out his phone to check the time, verifying that she would be in class already before noticing a text.

‘Hope you're feeling better. I’ll bring back some noms.”

Chris can't help but smile. Even when he had been an unwavering ass the day before, she still wanted to help him. He grabs a few of his books just in case by some miracle he feels normal in the next hour and makes his way to the kitchen, stuffing them into his bag as he leaves the suite.

It hadn't been very cold this week, but Chris continues to get mild chills, his coughing increasing as he makes his way to the campus clinic. He shakes his head as he reaches for the door and enters the waiting area. To his disappointment, he wasn't the first student to enter the same door this morning.

Letting out a frustrated sigh, he signs in and gets comfortable in one of the chairs, accepting things probably won't move as fast as he had hoped. He really wanted to get back to the suite before MC, to surprise her with a note or something from the nurse, to hopefully make her feel better after last night. He doesn't really know if the clinic gives out notes, but he’s going to ask for one anyway.

The nurse finally calls his name and holds the door as he enters the small exam room. She asks him many questions about his symptoms while taking his temperature and blood pressure. She continues asking him how long he’s felt this way, what he’s done to help, and other similar questions.

He laughs. “Me? Nothing… my girlfriend on the other hand…” He continues to tell her what MC has done, how she's cared for him and what she gave him in as much detail possible.

The nurse smiles. “Sounds like you're in good hands. Let me listen to your heart and lungs. I want to make sure she has nothing to worry about.”

Chris shakes his head but smiles as he takes deep breaths when instructed. She removes her stethoscope and writes down a few notes on his chart before turning to face him.

The look on her face makes Chris frown. “Not good?”

“Well, it’s not that bad. Yet. But from the sound of your lungs, it might try to settle in. How are your sinuses? Is there pressure and pain?”

Chris thinks for a moment and looks back at the nurse. “Some. But only since this morning…”

“Keep an eye on that. The swelling could get worse and you might have some serious headaches. You mentioned some decongestant and expectorant medications that she had?” Chris nods. “Those will help keep you clear, but continue to drink a lot of water. They will do their best to dry you up.”

He nods and smiles, thinking about MC and how she tried to tell him all of this last night. He was just too hell-bent to listen. “My home nurse has been all over it.”

She laughs and grabs his chart as they walk to the door. “Glad to hear it. If you continue to manage the symptoms you have, things shouldn't get too much worse, but come back immediately if they do.”

Chris starts to walk out of the door but suddenly stops, spinning to face her with wide eyes. “Oh, uh… can I get a note?”

She gives him a curious look. “For class?”

He laughs and feels his face warm slightly as he glances at the now full waiting area behind him. “Um, not exactly… for MC. So she knows I came in this morning.”

The nurse smiles wide and laughs, instantly reminding Chris of his Grandma Louise. He makes a mental note to call her soon. She’s always happy to hear what he’s been up to and how MC is doing. She also asks him, without fail, when she will get to meet his ‘lovely’ girlfriend. It makes him grin every time, even though she can't see it on the other side of the phone call.

He focuses back on the present when the nurse hands him a small slip of paper. He reads it quickly and thanks her, heading into the hall and pausing to check the time. MC’s first class was going to end in about fifteen minutes which gives him enough time to get to her building before it lets out. 

He walks as briskly as he can, stretching his legs to the limit, but his energy is lower than usual and the cooler air makes him cough a few times. He doesn't slow down though, wanting to surprise his girlfriend with his clinic visit.

Finally making it to her building, he slips inside and finds a water fountain near her room, silently cursing himself for leaving his water bottle back at the suite. He groans a little and tries not to cough when a tickle in his throat teases him. The repetitive action was giving him a growing pressure headache. He hates headaches.

Chris checks the time again and before he can look up, the doors open in a flurry of activity down the long hallway. His eyes shift over and focus on the one closest to him, immediately searching for MC.

When the line of students slows and he doesn't find her in it, he frowns, mumbling to himself. “She never skips class…”

“Chris?” He startles at his name being called and spins in place, finding his beautiful target behind him.

He gives MC a small smile. “Hey baby.”

~MC~

She closes the distance between them, her brows furrowed as she studies his face. He looks about the same, except for the more frequent coughing, and that makes her frown. “What are you doing… I thought you were sleeping in.”

He reaches into his pocket and pulls out the small square of paper, unfolding it before he hands it over. Her brow stays drawn as she reads the note scrawled across official Hartfeld Clinic stationary. Twice to make sure she read it correctly.

              MC ---

              Please continue with your current course of action in

              treating Mr. Powell. I believe his present state will begin 

              to improve as long as you maintain your existing care 

              plan for him. If anything changes, please don't hesitate 

              to send him into the clinic.

She looks up from the small paper in her hand and bites her lower lip as she tries not to laugh. “You asked for a note.”

“Ayuh. I wanted you to know that I appreciate what you did… or tried to do... last night.” He smiles but she notices it doesn't exactly reach his tired eyes.

“Oh, um… you’re welcome Chris, but I didn't really do anything.” She stumbles over the words, feeling her cheeks heat up a little as she looks around the hall to see if anyone is listening, folding the note up and putting it in her pocket.

“That’s not true. You knew something was wrong before I did… and even when I was being a hard headed ass--” She reaches up and covers his mouth, making him pull her hand away in time to laugh once before it turns into a small series of coughs before he collects himself.

“Even though I was being a complete mule...” He tilts his head as she arches a brow in approval of his edit. “You still tried to take care of me. So thank you… and I’m sorry.”

Her chest swells from his words, her entire body warm from the look in his eyes as he holds her gaze with his.

“S’okay…” She whispers as she cups his face with both of her hands, pulling his slightly taller form down so she could kiss his forehead. When he stands back up straight she snickers at his worried expression.

“You thought I was going to try and kiss you?” Her nose wrinkles. “No thanks. You have cooties Mister.”

He pulls her into his chest and squeezes her tight, chuckling softly as not to start coughing again. “I’ll remember that MC… My cooties are your cooties woman. In fact... “ He leans in close, whispering into her ear. “They are already inside of you… this very second.”

She pulls back and gasps before swatting his chest. “Chris!”

He laughs hard and ends up coughing worse than before, making MC frown deeply with regret. “Okay Captain, we’re going home.”

Chris catches his breath and clears his throat the best he can before standing straight once more. “Yes ma'am. Lead the way beautiful.”

~Chris~

As they head out into the quad he turns to her, the curiosity getting the best of him. He clears his throat and tries to squash the uneasy feeling when he silently asks himself if he really wants to know.

“Hey, MC?” He nods back towards the building as they continue to walk. “Why weren't you in class?”

She blinks a few times before realizing what he means. “Oh! I was, I just left a few minutes early to find Dr. Yates before his office hours were up.”

Chris makes a cute confused face, his features scrunching up almost comically as he tries to understand. “My history professor?”

She nods and he continues, still confused. “Why..?”

“I told him you were sick and asked to pick up any assignments or information in case you weren’t going to make it in for the next class.” She chews on her bottom lip, waiting for his reaction.

He stops, automatically tugging her to stop with him since he had his arm around her waist. “You did?”

MC studies his face and adjusts her bag strap across her chest. “I was actually on my way to meet with a few other of your professors when you stopped me in the hall.”

He just stands there, staring into her big hazel eyes for a moment as he thinks about what she said. MC’s eyes flick back and forth, searching his face for something as he processes her actions.

“What… is that bad?” She sighs and grimaces. “Does that make me the clingy helicopter girlfriend?”

His lips slowly curl at the ends. “No.”

She shifts to where she's standing in front of him and he wraps both arms around her waist, doing his best to calm his heart, now fluttering happily in his chest. “Then what’s wrong…”

“Nothing. I just… well, the only person that’s managed to take care of me like that is my Mah. And honestly, I fight her on it whenever she tries. I always tell her to worry about Kyle and AJ… that I’ll be fine.”

“Sounds familiar.” MC snorts with a smirk.

“Ayuh. But that’s just it… you bulldogged your way in, kinda like she did.” The text from Ethan pops into his head. “Possibly better than she did.” His eyes grow wide. “Hell. Don't ever tell her I said that...”

MC laughs and snuggles into his chest as he wraps his arms tighter around her. Chris smiles too and buries his nose into her hair, swallowing a cough as a cool breeze cuts through them. Nothing was going to stop him from enjoying this moment. He was starting to feel miserable, but this was also one of the best days of his life. After Nicole, Chris doubted ever experiencing feelings this strong for another person again. He honestly wasn't sure it was actually possible, until he ran into MC that first day. Everything started changing from that moment forward.

He stands up straight and shakes his head, starting to feel a little overwhelmed by his thoughts and needing a change of subject. “Hey uh, you said something about lunch?”

She leans back and arches an eyebrow. “Yeah, no. We're going home, and then I will go get some cold friendly food while you rest.”

Chris grumbles in agreement, not wanting to argue with his personal nurse any more than he has to. He knows she will win no matter what. He decided last night that she would. They make it back to the suite and he takes a hot shower to loosen his sinuses and relax his aching muscles as much as possible before drying his hair and changing into a warm set of clothes to climb into bed with. Nurse Cherry’s orders. He wasn't going to go against them.

~MC~

She moves quick, wanting to see if she can find a few more of his professors on her way to pick up lunch. It was a good sign he was hungry, and MC knows that when Chris is, he will find something to satisfy that hunger. The sooner she gets back, the better chance she has to keep him quiet inside the suite. After grabbing a few more assignments from a couple professors, MC heads towards a specific eatery on the edge of campus.

Cutting through the athletic buildings would be her shortest route from her current location near Williams Hall. With her collected information secure in her bag, MC starts to jog briskly through the winding paths. She cuts corners when she can, running under trees and zooming past buildings as she checks the time on her Fitbit. She thankfully hears a sound that is clearly too close, making her gaze pop up just in time to stop herself from running straight into a wide, Hartfeld University logoed chest.

“Oh..!” She gasps out as she raises her hands to avoid slamming her face into the black and red athletic jacket.

A pair of large hands steady her, holding her upper arms firmly as she adjusts and stands straight once more. Her eyes look up and grow wide as they see the slightly taller man, realizing who it is instantly. “Coach Cohen!”

He gives her a small smile and head nod. “In a hurry?”

Her face heats up as she takes a step back with embarrassment. His hands release her and he crosses them in front of his chest as she nods.

“Yes, actually… Chris is sick so I’m on my way to get him some of the spicy chicken soup from Lucky Bamboo.”

Coach Cohen’s lips turn down in a small frown. “Powell is sick?”

She nods again and looks past him once before turning her gaze to him again, not wanting to be rude but also feeling like she should get moving. “Yes, the nurse thinks it’s a cold but he started coughing more today so I’m trying to keep it from getting worse.”

He gives her a genuine smile. “Hmm... I actually have some remedies and tricks that work for me that I usually send to my players when they are under the weather. I can send to his email, but would you mind checking to see that he reads it for me? I know how the guys can get about things like this sometimes.”

MC smiles. “Yes, of course. That would be great.”

“Thank you. I know he’s been busy with the student council campaign but he’s still one of my players and I want to make sure he gets healthy as soon as possible. He’s been very busy from what I’ve heard from some of the others guys. I was a little concerned that he might overdo it.”

“You and me both Coach.” She sighs and her eyes flick to her Fitbit to check the time.

He notices and smiles. “Alright I will let you go. Thank you for letting me know… and for taking such good care of my quarterback. I’m going to need him.”

She laughs. “You’re welcome.”

He moves aside and gestures for her to continue on and holds up his hand to wave once before he turns and disappears around the corner of the nearby building. MC runs faster than before, trying to make up some time so she can get back to said quarterback as soon as possible.

~Chris~

MC makes it back in record time with a large container of the best spicy soup in Hartfeld along with a few of his favorite comfort foods. He learns that she also managed to track down a few of his other professors on her way out, gathering a handful of assignments so he doesn't fall too far behind if things do get worse over the weekend.

Working for Vasquez did provide a few perks for MC, a big one being developing relationships many of the faculty while running errands for him. Usually her work for Vasquez annoyed Chris, since he clearly took advantage of her situation on many occasions, but right now it was benefiting him and he had to begrudgingly appreciate it.

She brought some vitamins from her room along with a few other items, the most important one in his opinion being a diluted eucalyptus oil that he gladly let her rub into his chest when she told him what it was. It’s supposed to help with his congestion, but he just wants to enjoy the soothing feeling of her hand gliding across his aching muscles. In the middle of her aromatherapy massage, Chris remembers he wanted to ask her something.

“MC?” When she looks up from his chest he feels his heart skip. There’s something about them, he really enjoys looking into those eyes. “Ethan told me last night that he and Steph are probably free this weekend.” He mumbles as his eyes slip closed, thoroughly enjoying her touch.

When her movements stop, he opens his eyes and find her still looking at him but this time with a concerned expression. “But you’re sick… you need to rest.”

He gives her a reassuring smile and reaches up to lay his hands on hers, holding it firmly against his chest. “I will… he knows we can’t do anything crazy. It would be a good distraction… just FYI, if you try to make me stay in bed all weekend I promise you I will lose my mind.”

She laughs. “Okay, then tell them we’d love to hang out. Oh! Maybe we can go see the latest Justice League at the Hartfeld theater? My friend Sarah could get us a few tickets for free.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Chris smiles and pats the bed next to him, slipping his arm around her and pulling her close as he sends Ethan a confirmation text.

Another hour passes and he tries to hide it, but his cough gets worse. MC grabs a bottle of cough suppressant from the nightstand and turns to him.

“This will really help…” He nods but hears the pause. “...but it might also knock you out for a while.”

Chris lets out a sigh and looks at the time, seeing that Ethan and Steph won't leave Boston for another two or three hours at least. “How long?”

He smiles as she makes a cute face, scrunching her lips together and to the side as she twists the bottle in her hands as she thinks. “Maybe a few hours… at least it can for the average person. With you... “ Her eyes move up and down his wide frame, “...probably less.”

His eyes narrow as she gives him a snarky smirk. “What are you trying to say MC?” He reaches out, swallowing his own laugh as she rolls her eyes playfully. “Just give it to me.”

MC pours the required amount into the small cup that came with the medication and he grimaces as he swallows. “Ugh, gross.”

He begins to panic as the thick substance doesn't quite miss his tongue, reaching for his water as she intercepts the cup. “Water.”

She frowns and holds the cup closer to her chest and leans away from him. “Wait… you have to give it a second to coat your throat, or you'll just wash it all off.”

His mouth falls open as he shoots her an angry look. “You didn't say I couldn't drink water after that… that… I can't even think of the right words.” He makes a small gagging sound.

“You can… just after a minute or… two.” She gives him an apologetic smile.

“Minutes?!” He gasps. “Okay no. It’s totally been long enough MC.” He extends his long arm and makes a grabbing motion with his wide hand.

She shakes her head, trying to lean back as she attempts to hold onto the cup. “I’m going to regret this, aren't I?”

He leans forward and snatches the cup from her, chugging down the entire thing in only a few gulps, still grimacing as his eyes water from the foul taste of the medication.

“Nasty.”

She frowns. “I know… but it will help you feel better soon.”

He takes a deep breath and shoots her an apologetic look, knowing she’s right. “Sorry. Thanks for putting up with me.”

MC gets up and kisses the top of his head before leaving with the empty cup and small medication cup. When she returns she not only has refilled the cup, but also his water bottle, placing it all back down on his nightstand before she turns to leave.

“Whatcha doin’?”

She turns in the open doorway. “I was going to grab one of my books so I could hang out with you in here?”

Chris shoots her a small smile as he gets comfortable against the pillows. “Okay, I’ll allow it.”

With another laugh she leaves but returns in just a few short minutes. He looks up from his phone when the door opens, quickly noticing that one of her favorite books is tucked under her arm, but more importantly she is wearing his favorite long pajama pants and his red Henley. The same pajama pants that accentuate her long toned legs and the same red Henley he will always remember her wearing in their building’s laundry room that one night.

“I've been wondering where that thing went.”

She gives him a cheeky smile and shrugs. “Uh, you kinda gave it to me.”

His eyebrows raise in unison. “Oh, did I?”

She pulls her bottom lip between her teeth and grins as she puts her book down on the nightstand and crawls onto the bed next to him. “Yup.”

He just shakes his head and smiles, scooting over to give her more room. Once she gets situated he slides further down the bed and wraps himself around her, laying his head in her lap as he starts playing music just loud enough for him to hear on his phone.

At least that’s what he thought. As Scary Love by The Neighbourhood starts playing on his phone, Chris rolls his head to look up and into her eyes. He sees her swallow as she listens to the lyrics and a small smile crosses his lips. He was starting to feel a little sleepy, but was sure the feeling would pass before too long.

He was wrong.

All it took was for MC to reach down with one hand, running her fingers through his hair while she held her book with the other and he completely forgot about his phone, about Ethan coming to visit, the campaign, everything as he drifted off to sleep.

~MC~

She knew he was out when his body weight melted into hers and his breaths became slightly erratic. It’s really the soft snores that seal the deal. MC swallows her laughter and instead smiles so hard her cheeks hurt as she bends over slightly to look at his peaceful face.

The blonde runs her hand through his hair a few more times, pushing it up and away from his eyes as she studies his features. His hair was starting to get a little long, falling towards his beautiful blues more and more with every day. She knew he would probably get it cut soon, so she wanted to enjoy this slightly shaggy look while she could.

He adjusts against her, his lips parting slightly as he continues to sleep in her lap. MC turns his music off and goes back to her book, reading chapter after chapter for the next hour or so before he stirs again. When he shifts in her lap she lifts her book and looks down, finding him looking up at her through small slits as a lopsided grin slowly crosses his lips.

“You’re pretty.”

She shakes her head and snort laughs. “Uh huh… and you look like you're floating.”

Chris lets out a sleepy laugh and makes a few sounds in what she thinks is an attempt to mimic a jet engine before making a ding and speaking in an authoritative voice. “We are experiencing a little turbulence. Please sit down and buckle your seat-belts.”

MC’s mouth falls open as she closes her eyes. “Oh no.”

“What.” He says and blinks a few times, trying his best to focus on her face.

“You really don’t take medications or anything much…” She was starting to realize that the cough syrup was affecting Chris more than she thought it would.

“Newp.” He says and laughs, making him cough once. “Cut that out.”

She puts her book down on the nightstand and tries not to laugh as he talks to himself, his words a little garbled. “Go back to sleep Rogers.”

MC nods. “That might be a good idea. Sleep it off.”

Chris nods exaggeratedly. “I agree baby… beautiful…” He grins wide suddenly. “My girl… my MC.”

Her entire body warms under his loving gaze. Chris’s eyes just about close as he peers through the small slits once more. He gives her a sleepy smile as he attempts to lift his hand to cup her face. She smiles back, her eyes crinkling at the corner as she helps him by holding his hand to her cheek.

“...love my girl…” He mumbles as his eyes finally close and his arm turns heavy in her hands.

MC blinks a few times and her mind flashes back to their trip to Boston, thinking about that one night when she thought he said something like ‘love you’ before falling asleep. Her eyes fall back to his peaceful face and she shakes her head, reminding herself that he currently wasn't exactly awake and clearly a little altered thanks to the medication. She also reminds herself that he didn't say ‘I love you’ exactly, and that he was probably just talking about how she was taking care of him.

“But what if he wasn't…” She whispers to herself in the quiet room. They have not been an official couple for very long, and they only met at the beginning of the school year. Could it even be possible? She starts to think about how she feels about him in turn, startling herself with the realization that it was, in fact, very possible. MC swallows as she compares how she’s felt over the many months, how things have changed and how clear her feelings are for Chris now.

She jumps when he starts singing, very roughly, with a wide grin out of nowhere. “It's been a haaaaaard day's night, and I been wooooooorking like a dog.”

Her eyes shoot down and she sees that his are still closed, making her wonder if he was awake or if it was some type of sleep...singing?

“It's been a haaaaard daaaaay's niiiight, I should be sleeeeeeeeping like a log. But when I get home to you I'll find the things that you do, will make me feel aaaaaaalright.”

She quickly covers her mouth so she won't interrupt or worse, wake him up. MC recognizes the song, it’s name being the first thing out of Chris’s mouth. Her dad loved The Beatles so she had grown up hearing just about every song they ever made on the weekends. Chris continues to mumble sing, his eyes opening slightly as he looks up into hers, letting her know he was in fact now awake. At least on some level. Coherent was another story.

“When I'm hooooome everything seems to be riiiiiight. When I'm hooooooooome feeling you holding me tiiiiiiiiight, tight!” She grins as he skips some of the lyrics, clearly not fully focused but doing his best in his medicated state.

He chuckles softly and closes his eyes. “My beautiful girl… working hard to take care of me.”

“Holding you tight?” She can’t help herself.

Chris grins hard, showing his perfect teeth as his eyes stay closed. “Ayuh.”

He shifts and nuzzles into her thighs, letting out a content sigh as he wraps his arm around her legs and pulls her as close as possible. Within seconds his breathing pattern changes and she can tell he’s once again asleep.

Not quite ready to dissect her thoughts about what she thinks she may have heard before his random song interruption, MC reaches over and grabs her book and flips to her bookmark. She needs to distract herself from the scary but simultaneously exciting thoughts that are trying to take over.

Now wasn't the time.

Chris is sick.

He’s been rambling.

He doesn’t know what he’s saying.

That’s clear. Right?

Part of her feels disappointed for a moment but she shakes it off. She knows he cares for her, that's obvious, and right now he needs her to care for him. MC continues to read her book, just about finishing it when she sees his phone screen light up next to her. Glancing over she sees that it’s a text from Ethan.

‘We’re about to leave. Everything still good?’

She smiles and picks it up, sliding the notification open to respond. ‘Chris is asleep right now but we will be mobile when you guys arrive.’

‘You sure MC?’

‘Very, you need to see this kinda behavior in person lol.’ She takes a quick picture of him passed out, laying across her like a giant six-year-old.

‘Haha. Okay that alone will be worth the drive. Take lots of pictures. They will come in handy at some point I’m sure. See you guys soon.’

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[marshmallowfin]

Marshmallow’s Monster Prom Guide: (Incompete)

Last Updated on: 05/18/2018

So I don’t know if this will help anyone because I’m gay and bad at math and don’t know how stats work in this game but here/s basically what happened to me which playing monster prom. 

Sorted by character, so if you’re looking for an interaction with Scott and Liam it should be under both characters. 

If anything seems unclear or confusing please feel free to message me! I’ll try my best to help! 

QUIZ QUESTIONS:

SEEN THIS POST: http://marshmallow-wagon.tumblr.com/post/174031514875/marshmallows-monster-prom-question-guide

Miranda Vanderbait

Food poisoning: (Polly/Miranda)

I surely do! It’s entitled “Silver-wear” and it’s where you take your most expensive cutlery and dress it in very fancy tiny outfits. (Miranda)

Yup. It’s called “dying”.

Silverware: (Miranda/Damien)

The fishing knife. (Miranda)

A spoon. What, you need a blade they kill people?

Their own sport: (Liam/Miranda)

Obviously the sport bard assigns inspiration kicks to the metaphysical linebacker, who scores 11 points for each poem he successfully publishes in The Atlantic. Didn't you read the rule book? (NOT SO CREATIVE, -2 fun and -1 bold)

Don’t you see? The points were inside us all along!

A new kind of serf: (Polly/Miranda)

Ooh, Miranda, you should get a puppy surf! It’s not an actual serf —  dogs! (Miranda <3)

You should get a party serf,Polly! A surf to experience your hangovers for you!

Inventing new silverware: (Miranda/Scott)

The salad harp.

Hands. (Scott <3)

Damien La Vey

DamienXLiam fanart: (Damien/Liam)

What the fuck is this? This fuckery, dear Damien, is ART. I present to you...yaoi. (NOT SO CREATIVE. Damien <3? -1 fun and -1 bold)

Don’t be silly! You don’t want to fight me…you're clearly fighting against your urge…for cuddling!

Silverware: (Miranda/Damien)

The fishing knife. (Miranda)

A spoon. What, you need a blade they kill people?

Duct Tape: (Scott/Damien)

Don’t worry Damien, you can keep the Duct Tape of Retribution for your nefarious purposes.Coven, why don’t you use the Scotch Tape of HEY, Cut That Out! instead? (NOT SO CREATIVE, Damien <3. -2 fun, -1 bold)

Scott, you don’t really care about the DUCT TAPE, right? You like having a cool shiny thing! But watch me as I use my sweet negotiating skills to get — wait for it! — Two cool shiny things!!!

Interdimensional bachelor part 2: (Scott/Damien)

Sign the name of Tyrelliott the Terrible, thus summoning him.

EAT THE CONTRACT. (SO BOLD, +2 fun and +smart)

Badge Bikini: (Damien/Polly)

You know what crazy chaotic? Being single and partying forever! Destroying the institution of marriage. (SO BOLD, Polly <3, +2 fun and + bold)

Chaos is always better with some sensible agony — replace all the water in the school with swarms of mosquitoes!

Where to hide the body: (Damien)

Disguise him is a drinking fountain. No one will know the difference.

Just chuck him in my garage. He’ll blend in perfectly with my collection of vintage dead bodies. (SO BOLD, +2 smarts, +1 charm)

Think fast of get punched: (Damien)

Jokes on you, pal: I am a pragmatist. I avoid any kind of idolization of the past because it has no use, and therefore refuse feeling any kind of melancholy.

No time to think of anything clever… Start dancing for no reason! (SO FUN, +2 Bold and +1 fun)

Angry at a Banana: (Damien)

Defend the bananas honor.

Eat the banana. (SO BOLD, +3 bold)

Scott Howl

Fad Diets: (Scott/Polly)

Have you heard of the Imhotep cleanse? It’s where you only eat things that came from mummy. Mummies are rare, so you get super skinny. Plus you get to Rob tombs!

You’ve heard of the Paleo diet. Not try the Jurassic diet! You can eat anything that isn’t dinosaur. Killing a T Rex alone will get you super buff! (SO BOLD. Scott <3. +2 charm and +2 fun)

Duct Tape: (Scott/Damien)

Don’t worry Damien, you can keep the Duct Tape of Retribution for your nefarious purposes.Coven, why don’t you use the Scotch Tape of HEY, Cut That Out! instead? (NOT SO CREATIVE, Damien <3. -2 fun, -1 bold)

Scott, you don’t really care about the DUCT TAPE, right? You like having a cool shiny thing! But watch me as I use my sweet negotiating skills to get — wait for it! — Two cool shiny things!!!

Mobile Game: (Scott/Damien)

Show them at the phone equipped with Pokémans Go can also be used as a football! (Scott <3)

Say nothing. Help them with steamed vegetables.

Power “Drink” aka Cocaine: (Scott)

using your vast knowledge of aromatherapy, give him some lavender-scented cocaine to neutralize the regular-scented cocaine and relax him a bit.

GIVE HIM A FLASHY FIDGET SPINNER. (SO FUN, +2 charm and +1 smart.)

Eating food: (Scott/Liam)

Obviously the lychee-fruit flavored custard with a side of tofu and a drizzle raspberry extract is the most superior food on the plate.

Go for the brightly-colored bag of meat biscuits that somehow has...an anime drawing of Scott’s face on it?! That says “SCOTT SNACKS”?! (Scott <3)

Interdimensional bachelor part 2: (Scott/Damien)

Sign the name of Tyrelliott the Terrible, thus summoning him.

EAT THE CONTRACT. (SO BOLD, +2 fun and +smart)

Get him back on the team: (Scott)

Spike the punch with Coke on prom night! If the whole schools team is on Coke, coach will have to let you all play! (SO FUN, +2 fun and +1 fun)

All we gotta do is convince coach that cocaine is a good thing! A little hands-on demonstration won’t hurt…

Goat Head Potato Chips: (Liam/Scott)

Assemble an army of vengeful on the go torsos. (SO SMART, +2 creative and +1 smart)

Write an extremely mean blog post.

Sexiest Monster: (Liam/Scott)

Make your own version of the magazine, featuring a three-winged chupacabra on the cover.

Lean heavily on the “warrior” part — storm MONSTER Magazine and hold the editor-in-chief captive until he promises to stop exclusively promoting one aesthetic as the pinnacle of monster sexiness. (SO BOLD, +2 fun and +1 charm)

What should we cheer for bro?: (Scott)

We should cheer for the working class! Nothing will aid the rise of the proletariat like a hearty cheer!

We should cheer for each other, because friendship is the greatest part of all. (SO CHARMING, +2 bold and +1 fun)

Scotch: (Vera/Scott)

Yeah, it’s called Scott’s, but today is opposite day, so everything that Scott’s is actually Vera’s. (Vera <3)

You’re right Scott! That drink is your birthright! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!

Inventing new silverware: (Miranda/Scott)

The salad harp.

Hands. (Scott <3)

Damien vs. you: (Vera/Scott)

Here’s what I’m gonna do, Vera: I’m gonna give you hundred bucks, and you’re going to teach me your secret Oberlin combat style. (NOT SO WEALTHY, -2 bold and -1 fun)

I don’t know. Probably die, unless some big, strong, good-at-sports man decides to teach me how to fight. But where whatever find such a man?

Liam de Lioncourt

Liam’s writing: (Liam)

Passionate argument for the legalization of recreational chimera toxins.

A chilling expose the pasta industry’s Griffin-trafficking. (NOT SO BOLD, -2 charm and -1 smart)

Bats are so chiche: (Liam)

A hotdog stand.

A general feeling of unease. (NOT SO CREATIVE, -2 bold and -1 smart.)

Time Machine: (Liam)

3.85 billion BC, so you can be into existing before was cool.

Everyone knows that the dopest time in monster history was 1925… Specifically July 26, 2 AM to 5 AM. (NOT SO SMART, -2 fun and -1 smart)

Their own sport: (Liam/Miranda)

Obviously the sport bard assigns inspiration kicks to the metaphysical linebacker, who scores 11 points for each poem he successfully publishes in The Atlantic. Didn't you read the rule book? (NOT SO CREATIVE, -2 fun and -1 bold)

Don’t you see? The points were inside us all along!

DamienXLiam fanart: (Damien/Liam)

What the fuck is this? This fuckery, dear Damien, is ART. I present to you...yaoi. (NOT SO CREATIVE. Damien <3? -1 fun and -1 bold)

Don’t be silly! You don’t want to fight me…you're clearly fighting against your urge…for cuddling!

Eating food: (Scott/Liam)

Obviously the lychee-fruit flavored custard with a side of tofu and a drizzle raspberry extract is the most superior food on the plate.

Go for the brightly-colored bag of meat biscuits that somehow has...an anime drawing of Scott’s face on it?! That says “SCOTT SNACKS”?! (Scott <3)

Goat Head Potato Chips: (Liam/Scott)

Assemble an army of vengeful on the go torsos. (SO SMART, +2 creative and +1 smart)

Write an extremely mean blog post.

Sexiest Monster: (Liam/Scott)

Make your own version of the magazine, featuring a three-winged chupacabra on the cover.

Lean heavily on the “warrior” part — storm MONSTER Magazine and hold the editor-in-chief captive until he promises to stop exclusively promoting one aesthetic as the pinnacle of monster sexiness. (SO BOLD, +2 fun and +1 charm)

Liam’s got no game: (Polly/Liam)

Coating yourself an insect pheromones. Don’t go after people: make people go after you. (SO SMART. Liam <3. +2 charm, +1 smart)

Dancing so hard that you also separate into a cloud of locusts.

You can’t sit with us: (Vera/Liam)

Well, I guess I’ll be going then, because there’s no way anyone could ever be as cool as Liam.

Let me ask you this: would an uncool person be giving Vera 50 Monster Dollars right now? (Vera <3)

Monster-Judge: (Vera/Liam)

True hideousness is on the inside — in your organs! A person with their organs on the outside would be the most hideous. (NOT SO CREATIVE, Vera <3?, -2 smart and -1 creativity)

A toned body, symmetrical face, nice features… Because traditional beauty standards are hideously mainstream!

Polly Geist

Liam’s got no game: (Polly/Liam)

Coating yourself an insect pheromones. Don’t go after people: make people go after you. (SO SMART. Liam <3. +2 charm, +1 smart)

Dancing so hard that you also separate into a cloud of locusts.

Badge Bikini: (Damien/Polly)

You know what crazy chaotic? Being single and partying forever! Destroying the institution of marriage. (SO BOLD, Polly <3, +2 fun and + bold)

Chaos is always better with some sensible agony — replace all the water in the school with swarms of mosquitoes!

Indementional game show: (Polly/??)

I present you with my grandmother‘s wedding ring… Still attached my Naked grandmother!

(Jaw unhinges, bees pour out.) (SO BOLD, +2 creative and + bold)

Financial Slaves: (Vera/Polly)

You can easily grow this arrangement into a business…just escalate and delegate! Have the financials slave go and acquire his own financial slave to give HIM money, and THAT financial slave go and find a financial slave… (Vera <3)

TELL HIM TO MARRY A LLAMA. (Polly <3)

Make them look dumb AND make money: (Vera/Polly)

why don’t you make up a phony work out craze? It worked for Frank Pilates, the inventor of Pilates. (SO CREATIVE, +1 creativity, +2 smarts)

Oh man, do I have a great praying for you: I call it “stealing”.

Food poisoning: (Polly/Miranda)

I surely do! It’s entitled “Silver-wear” and it’s where you take your most expensive cutlery and dress it in very fancy tiny outfits. (Miranda)

Yup. It’s called “dying”.

A new kind of serf: (Polly/Miranda)

Ooh, Miranda, you should get a puppy surf! It’s not an actual serf —  dogs! (Miranda <3)

You should get a party serf,Polly! A surf to experience your hangovers for you!

Fad Diets: (Scott/Polly)

Have you heard of the Imhotep cleanse? It’s where you only eat things that came from mummy. Mummies are rare, so you get super skinny. Plus you get to Rob tombs!

You’ve heard of the Paleo diet. Not try the Jurassic diet! You can eat anything that isn’t dinosaur. Killing a T Rex alone will get you super buff! (SO BOLD. Scott <3. +2 charm and +2 fun)

Reverse Romanian Wilkinson: (Polly)

I love… Done that one loads of times! Just name a time and a place, and I’ll reversus all over your Romanian Wilkinson. (SO CHARMING, +3 fun)

Throw a smoke bomb and escape while leaving a replica of yourself. That should buy you time to figure out what a Reverse Romanian Wilkinson is!

Bored forever: (Polly)

You don’t have to. Whenever you get tired of existing, just go piss off a priest. (SO FUN, +2 bold and +1 creative)

Meth.

Casino date: (Polly)

Walk up to the closest blackjack table and that at all… On red.

Find the nearest horse race in literally bet your life on it. (SO BOLD, +2 fun and +money)

Impersonations: (Polly/Scott)

WOOF WOOF, IT’S ME SCOTT: A DOG BOY WHO IS BAD AT IMPRESSIONS.

LOOK AT ME I’M POLLY LOOK AT ME GO!!! (Scott <3)

Vera Oberlin

You can’t sit with us: (Vera/Liam)

Well, I guess I’ll be going then, because there’s no way anyone could ever be as cool as Liam.

Let me ask you this: would an uncool person be giving Vera 50 Monster Dollars right now? (Vera <3)

Monster-Judge: (Vera/Liam)

True hideousness is on the inside — in your organs! A person with their organs on the outside would be the most hideous. (NOT SO CREATIVE, Vera <3?, -2 smart and -1 creativity)

A toned body, symmetrical face, nice features… Because traditional beauty standards are hideously mainstream!

Her stalker: (Vera)

Threaten to feed a damsel to a sea monster. That’ll distract him.

He looks Greek. Why not bribe Zeus, the King of the Gods? (SO WEALTHY, +2 fun and +1 smart)

Cools and Un-Cools: (Vera)

Un-Cool students should have to carry Cool students from class to class chaises. (SO CREATIVE, +2 money and +smarts)

Rotting squid should be thrown at Un-Cool students to remind them how uncool they are.

Perfect Poker alternative: (Polly?/Vera)

Russian roulette.

The stock market. (SO SMART, +2 fun and +1 money)

Scotch: (Vera/Scott)

Yeah, it’s called Scott’s, but today is opposite day, so everything that Scott’s is actually Vera’s. (Vera <3)

You’re right Scott! That drink is your birthright! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!

A Dinner gift!: (Vera)

A magic mirror that will always tell her how fabulous she looks.

The head of her greatest enemy. (NOT SO BOLD, -2 charm, -1 bold)

Financial Slaves: (Vera/Polly)

You can easily grow this arrangement into a business…just escalate and delegate! Have the financials slave go and acquire his own financial slave to give HIM money, and THAT financial slave go and find a financial slave…

TELL HIM TO MARRY A LLAMA. (Polly <3)

Make them look dumb AND make money: (Vera/Polly)

why don’t you make up a phony work out craze? It worked for Frank Pilates, the inventor of Pilates. (SO CREATIVE, +1 creativity, +2 smarts)

Oh man, do I have a great praying for you: I call it “stealing”.

Damien vs. you: (Vera/Scott)

Here’s what I’m gonna do, Vera: I’m gonna give you hundred bucks, and you’re going to teach me your secret Oberlin combat style. (NOT SO WEALTHY, -2 bold and -1 fun)

I don’t know. Probably die, unless some big, strong, good-at-sports man decides to teach me how to fight. But where whatever find such a man?

SOMETHING HAPPENED TO…

Banned from the club: (Vera/Polly) (This depends on who has the higher charm score, the names don’t super matter.)

______! It’s hard to admit, but they could charm the pants off a statue — and have, on several occasions!

______! No kidding, I want to watch them seduce the entire population of Lemuria from orbit!

(If right: SO CHARMING, both gain +2 fun and +1 charm) 

______’s cultural literacy: (Liam) Sabotage

______’s is so cultured, they can tell the difference between theater and theatre. (Gives ___ Liam <3, +3 creative to you)

______’s is so uncultured, they think “sonnet” is a female son.

Polly’s Deathday Party: Sabotage

______?! That reckless bastard eats gluten! GLUTEN, I tell you! She’ll be dead by noon, probably. (They get Polly <3, you get +3 fun)

______ is going to be around a loooooong long time, trust me — she already has a place reserved in a retirement community, and has taken up bingo, and became an expert knitter...game over. I mean game not over. Not for a long time. She is gonna die an old, old monster.

Interdenominational Prince

Help him fix his TV

Fuck that, let’s make up our own ritual. (+4 creative)

How about the ritual where you give me a pile of money and go away.

Indementional game show: (Polly/??)

I present you with my grandmother‘s wedding ring… Still attached my Naked grandmother!

(Jaw unhinges, bees pour out.) (SO BOLD, +2 creative and + bold)

Interdimensional bachelor part 2: (Scott/Damien)

Sign the name of Tyrelliott the Terrible, thus summoning him.

EAT THE CONTRACT. (SO BOLD, +2 fun and +smart)

THE COVEN:

An Adventure?

Stop the crime ghost who’s been taking over children’s bodies and using them to rob banks. You have a never-before-seen plan… (+4 creative)

Take on the greatest villain of all: income inequality.

Reverse Romanian Wilkinson:

You are trapped tackling online searching in a very short-sighted way… you need to come up with unexpected search terms that will point you in the right direction. (NOT SO CREATIVE, -2 charm and -1 smarts)

Use your people skills to get the three witches to admit they know what a Reverse Romanian Wilkinson is, and to tell you what you need for it.

COACH:

Drink of choice?

Both. (+4 bold)

Whiskey.

[wyrdautumn]

The Apothetry Ithnomik

So, now that me and Jacqueline were officially a team, I wanted her help with something that’d been bothering me for a while. Given that I am a hacker of dubious moral character, I like to make a habit of breaking into any encrypted linkservs I happen to find myself in range of, just for funsies, and on the off chance I might learn something interesting, or have a chance to quietly beef up some nice person’s network so they’ll be safer from unscrupulous actors such as myself. A few months before everything started I ran into some nodes around the city that had some weird stuff floating around them, and I mean weird, at least by my standards at the time. For a while I was convinced I was looking at some kind of dog fighting ring, but, the stuff I was seeing didn’t seem much like dogs, if you follow my meaning. I had kind of decided to let it go, wrote it off as some hoax, or at least above my pay grade. None of it was cropping up near my neighborhood--and you’d best believe I was checking--so I could let it be somebody else's problem and hope I would find out it was just some kind of ARG someday.

But once I had Jacqueline on my side, I thought it would be worth another look. I took her to the last place I had picked up some suspect LMs and asked her to look around a bit, do her arcana check thing. I was kind of hoping she'd put my mind at ease, tell me I hadn’t stumbled onto some dangerous magical shenanigans, but if I had that kind of luck I wouldn’t be telling you about it. No, once we started digging, we pretty much found what you’d expect--somebody in the city was summoning monsters from demonworld and making them fight each other for sport. Even putting aside the ethical concerns--Jacqueline had a whole thing trying to explain the nature of all this, all I really got out of it was that people expect the monsters to feel pain so they do, which seems like a shitty deal if you ask me--this whole thing was obviously obscenely dangerous and was only going to end with a lot of people dead, and we were gonna have to make it our problem before it became everybody’s.

Once you knew what you were looking for, these guys weren’t too hard to track down. They were setting up this whole big arena, converting an old warehouse into a more permanent establishment for their bloodsport. Aethersport? Hard to say if those things bleed.

Anyway, we knew where they were going to be, so all we needed was a plan. Jacqueline really didn’t like the idea of going somewhere with, like, people. She was wary, didn’t want anybody seeing her, being able to track her down. Fair enough, right? Easy fix: she lives in shadows, she can hitch a ride in mine. She keeps hidden and when she does her thing we just pretend it’s my thing. All we had to do was arrange a meeting with the boss, talk him down or scare him straight, and send anything he already summoned back where it came from. So, I tracked down the ringleader on the underweb, hacked into his deck, and wrote us an invitation in the form of some malware.

It was a harmless little thing, just locked up his deck for a bit, played some spooky music, showed him this magicky sigil Jacqueline helped me design like something he might have seen before, then deleted itself and left him a spoofed “let’s talk” message with no sender. Pretty basic trickery, easy stuff once you have access to the deck, but all the effort went into presentation. Everything we had on this guy told us he didn’t really know what he was doing, and if we made it look like this was a supernatural attack and not just some copy-paste warrior level bullshit hacking he’d probably buy it. If it worked--which, of course, it did--all we'd have to do was show up for the next fight and he’d have to bring us right to him.

They built their arena out where the factories used to be, did up the interior nice and classy like some upscale nightclub from the 20s. They kept the place admirably discrete for how much they put into it, but even if we hadn't stepped in, there was no way they were gonna keep their secret for long. Maybe they thought they could pass it off as a regular speakeasy and buy their way out of prosecution when the time came. But then they probably woulda left a bunch of angry fuck off monsters rampaging through the city before it got to that point, so maybe foresight just wasn’t their thing.

I wanted to look the part, so I borrowed a few fashion pointers from Jacqueline and ran with them. I got this flowy gothy dress and witchy black jewelry, and then I threw on combat boots and a studded jacket to add a little punk touch for me. It was a sick look, honestly, and it did the trick, ‘cause I was barely there two minutes before a few burly-ass toughs dressed up like they thought they were Secret Service came around and brought me to their boss.

They called him Cowboy, on account of his whole affectation. Wide brimmed hat, southern twang, low-key aggro with a genteel frontier greed. We’re talking a guy who missed the point of a lot of spaghetti westerns. He didn’t waste any time once his goons deposited me at his table overlooking the pit. “You’re the one who sent me that message,” he said.

Obviously I was going to play it a little coy. “Maybe. I haven’t seen your messages.” That was a lie. “How should I know which one you mean?”

“The one that damn near broke my deck, of course.” It hadn’t done anything of the sort, but I put a lot of work into making him think otherwise. “You know, I figured this’d happen eventually.” He was sitting almost sideways on his booth chair, holding the neck of his whiskey with the tips of the fingers, and all I could think about was how he would seem even less cool once he inevitably dropped the thing. “Gotta be other folks in on this shit. Somebody had to write the book, after all. I knew I’d wind up catching y’all’s eye eventually.”

“Is that what this is?” I asked him in my best husky witch voice. “A cry for attention?”

“Please, darlin’, I’m not so pathetic as that. This here is just good old fashioned capitalism. Man takin’ his advantages and turnin’ them to cash, like nature intended.”

I couldn’t resist. “So you’re using the powers of the arcane to get rich quick. I suppose it’s less pathetic.”

“Heh. Had a feeling you folks’d be like that.” Cowboy grinned like a jackal. A really smug jackal you wanna punch in the face. “Cuz I’m a businessman, and I knew if y’all were businessmen--or ladies, ‘course”--yes he did say that--”and you had the kind of power I got at my hands now, let alone whatever other crazy shit I can only imagine, the world’d be run by folks like us.”

What a fucking idiot. But I needed to keep him talking. “So you’re going to offer me your business acumen.”

“Don’t get ahead of me now,” he said. He sat up for once and leaned in. He really thought he was a viper. “I still don’t know who you are. Or why you wanted to meet me in the first place. I got my ideas, but I know you have your own agenda. So tell me what you’re here for and let’s see what deal we can cut.”

The thing about knowing you’ve got all the cards is there’s not much point in lying. So I was straight with him, which, believe me, that’s not something I can say often. “I’m sure you realize I’m here to stop this.”

He just shrugged. “I figured it might be something like that.” Then he leaned back with that same punchable look. “So what will it take to change your mind? I know I can. Otherwise you wouldn’t have bothered talking to me.”

This guy thought he was so clever, and he was just ludicrously wrong about absolutely everything. I needed to make him see it. “Think about this,” I told him. “That book of yours, do you even know how old it is? How many hundreds of years, do you think?”

“19th century,” he said. “Had a dealer date it for me, before I figured out what it was.”

“19th century,” I repeated. Jacqueline whispered in my ear. I followed her lead. “Been around a while, then. And you’re right, that’s just the tip of it. Knowledge you can’t fathom, back to the dawn of civilization. Old, old, old secrets. Don’t you think that’s odd?”

“Not especially. Everybody knows magic’s out there now, it only stands to reason there’s people who always did.”

“That’s the point. Some people did always know. And all that time, the entire history of the human race, not one person ever had the bright idea to use that knowledge for personal gain. Nobody ever thought they could take that power and run the world with it. That’s what you believe, right?”

“Well, no, when you put it that way, I’m sure somebody tried. Maybe they just weren’t any good at it.”

He really didn’t get it. “Listen to me.” I looked him dead in the eyes. “It's not gonna work. Whatever you think is different about you, you’re wrong. What you’re meddling with here is dangerous, ‘Cowboy.’” I added the sneer. Couldn’t help it. “You’re playing with fire and when you lose control it’s going to burn a lot more than just you.”

Cowboy almost seemed like he was listening, which surprised me. “Let me show you something,” he said, and he waved his hand to pull up two screens for me, one for each of the monsters he had locked up in the pit that night. There was a mean-looking two-legged coyote thing--I figured it was supposed to be El Chupacabra--and some sort of freaky lion bear snake chimera creature that, I’m gonna be honest, looked a lot grosser in real life than it would have on an album cover.

But the weird thing about them was, they were just kinda… standing there. They were moving back and forth a little bit, but their motions were repetitive, like they were stuck in some sort of idle loop. “That’s always what they do,” Cowboy said, “least til we open their cage and let ‘em at each other. They’re dumb sons of bitches, ma’am, ain’t inclined to go huntin’ for nothin’ that ain’t directly in front of their face. We let ‘em kill each other, then we shut the winner in for a few days ‘til he fades away an’ goes back wherever he came from. Any poor bastard you put in front of ‘em is gonna get ripped to shreds, sure, but it ain’t a problem so long as you don’t let any poor bastard put himself in front of ‘em.”

I’m not kidding you, that was his grand fuckin’ scheme. That was his defense! ‘This is totally safe because everything about it is the exact opposite of safe!’ It really threw me for a god damn loop. I had no clue how to respond to that. So I looked back at the screens, and I almost forgot about all the bullshit I just heard, cuz El Chupacabra was looking back at me.

I guess Cowboy saw it on my face, cuz he glanced at the screen too. “Oh, huh,” he said. “Yeah they do that sometimes. Nothin’ ever comes of it though, it’s just kinda creepy. They forget all about the camera once they catch sight of each other.”

A jingle played over the building’s speakers and an announcer told us bets were closing in 60 seconds. The lights dimmed around the room and a spotlight came on over the pit. At this point I was genuinely pretty spooked, and I looked at Cowboy and told him, “you have to call this off.”

“Relax, darlin’,” he said, and he took a big swig of whiskey. “Why don’t you just enjoy the show?”

It was hard to keep my cool, but I thought freaking out then would ruin all that effort I put into building the facade. We always thought we were gonna have to drop in on the fight and let Jacquline take care of the monsters anyway, so I figured, okay, I guess we can just stick to the plan, why not?

But it didn’t feel right. Somehow I knew we had miscalculated. I looked back at the screens, and El Chupacabra was staring back at me, I swear looking right into my eyes. Like, right into them. Almost like--well. I guess I had a hunch. So I got up. I moved away from my seat. And its eyes followed me.

“Shit,” I said.

Cowboy turned to see what I was looking at. After a few seconds, it clicked. “Shit,” he said, and I didn’t hear what he said next, because the announcer came on again and said there were ten seconds left. Cowboy held a hand up to his ear, looking concerned, and started talking to his staff, but it was too late for them to do anything I guess, because the countdown kept ticking, down to 3 seconds, to 2, to 1…

There was a loud siren. I saw the cell doors open on the monitor and both monsters charged out of the gates. I whipped around, leaned over the balcony Cowboy was using as his perch, and watched with what I would say was an appropriate amount of terror as the monsters leaped straight out of the pit onto the floor below us.

So right away there’s pandemonium, people screaming and yelling and running, tables getting bowled over by the people and by the monsters, Cowboy spilling his whiskey all over the floor. About half of the guards ran for their lives, the other half drew their guns and started firing like that was gonna fuckin’ do anything, but luckily for them El Chupacabra and his buddy weren’t interested in the bystanders. They were coming for me. Or, more likely, for Jacqueline.

Less intelligent demons don’t really know how to deal with Jackie, is the thing. Most of the time they know she’s a threat to them, and some of ‘em try to run away or give her the slip, but you’d be surprised how often they just pick the biggest threat in the room and run straight for it. Normally that suits us just fine, but Cowboy picked the exact wrong time to show some common sense. He jumped right into action, to his credit, running off to help evacuate his customers and barking orders to the staff, and the first thing he did was make sure they threw on the lights. And they had gone all out with them, like full on covering the room with floodlights, I guess for specifically this kind of situation, which is almost an admirable precaution except for how utterly futile it is. But more importantly it just really fucked us over, because a room that bright ain’t got no shadows.

Jacqueline was wavering beneath me, the faint shadow I was casting barely enough to hold her. The monsters were skidding up the stairs, El Chupacabra leaped forward and smashed the seat Cowboy had been using, everything was going wrong and I realized I was going to die. I didn’t have very many options. And I wound up doing the thing I always do when things go sideways, like seriously you’d be surprised how much this comes up--I threw myself off the balcony and hoped for the best.

Bad plan. It’s always a bad plan. I took a hard fall and smashed into the ground. I was lucky I hadn’t broken anything, but I was bruised and hurting and winded. I could feel Jacqueline’s weight shifting around in my shadow. She didn’t have much to work with, to fight the monsters or to keep me safe. I felt paralyzed. I think she did too. And I didn’t… I didn’t like what I was doing to her. I didn’t want her to have to watch me…

Well, I didn’t want to die either. And the monsters had already leaped down. They were closing in on me, cautious, afraid of whatever scent they had picked up from Jacqueline. So I spun up my deck and beamed the worm I prepared to every device I could reach. I’d hoped to do it properly, have time to slip it by anything using more than basic security, leave my fingerprints off of it, but I didn’t have much choice. All I could do was brute force it and hope it got where it needed to.

I crawled backwards as best I could, my deck vibrating madly in my pocket, worried that if I tried to scramble to my feet one of them would take the chance to pounce. The ominous tone I cooked up started playing from somewhere in the distance, then it spread across the room, one device at a time. Then I heard it coming loud, from the monitors above the pit, and the house lights blinked out all at once. I felt a lurch in my stomach and I was gone.

Before I knew it I was back on my feet, somewhere else, still in the building but I couldn’t tell where. I was disoriented, the lights were all off save for a few bright floodlights casting long dark shadows all over the room, and the red glow from the monitors I hacked gave everything this super menacing vibe. Before I could get my bearings I heard a roar and felt something coming up behind me, and I dropped to the ground.

The chimera barreled past me and tried to swerve back around. It skidded into the wall, but that didn’t slow it down. It came crashing back toward me, but I saw the shadows swirling around me and I knew I didn’t have to be afraid of it. We had already won. So I charged right back at it. It swung its paw at my head but I ducked below it, sliding beneath its underside, and I gave it a hard uppercut in its soft underbelly that did absolutely jack shit. But then a thick lance of shadow shot out from beneath me, piercing the thing straight through its middle. It writhed and roared in pain, or whatever living aether feels, and the pillar of shadow lanced out again, stabbing it from the inside with a bunch of big nasty fuck-off shadow spikes, and then the thing just… wasn’t, anymore, and the shadows receded, and the chimera was gone.

Before I knew what was happening, I felt something swinging at my head, and then I was gone too. My stomach lurched and I was somewhere else again, but El Chupacabra must have been catching on, because I barely had time to register it barreling towards me, claws ready to rip my stomach out of my gut, before I was nowhere once more.

You have to understand, Jacqueline does the shadow thing easy. It’s second nature to her, like she knows the dance so well she doesn’t even realize she’s dancing anymore. She’ll shift and shape and reform however she wants and it doesn’t phase her in the slightest. But I can’t do any of that, and I definitely couldn’t do it back then, and being shoved in and out of your entire reality like that really fucks you up when you’re not used to it. So when I tell you I was doubled over on the ground sick to my stomach in just the grossest most pathetic seasick haze, I just want to make sure you know, for the record, that I’d like to see you take it any better, all right?

But, so, okay, yes, I spent the next minute or so shaking on my knees trying not to retch, so I kind of missed the next little bit after that. But I imagine a bystander would have just seen me grappling with my super anime inner demons and exploding in a big jaggy ball of shadow rage that eradicated El Chupacabra before it could try to get another hit off, so that’s the reality I’m gonna choose to live in.

Once I managed to gather my bearings, I took off to track down our friend Cowboy and finally finish the job. Luckily I didn’t have to go far. He was very courteously waiting for me by the bar, surveying his mostly-destroyed club. As far as I could tell everybody else made a break for it. But I guess he realized we still had business.

He tried to keep himself together, but he was fidgeting nervously and avoiding my eyes. “Well. It’s fair to say a lot went wrong here. But, I will point out, those things only had eyes for you, and clearly you had ‘em licked, so frankly I don’t know who you have to blame ‘cept yourself.” I think he could tell I was stabbing his head in my mind. “But I’m not a fool, no, and you’ve made your point, so, maybe it’d be best if we worked something out. I’m not adverse to bringing in an expert when the situation calls, and havin’ somebody who can keep the beasts in check is only a fair precaution, I would think. Obviously you can’t be in the room with ‘em, but--”

“Stop talking,” I told him. I stepped forward. He flinched. He was scared of me. That was Jackie’s cue. The shadows started swirling around me again, and Jacqueline rose from my shadow, half-formed in shadowstuff, shaping herself as a demonic figure towering behind me. We advanced on Cowboy. He staggered back, swearing under his breath.

Jacqueline took over from there. “You don’t understand anything.” She made her voice raspy and deep, a slight echo of Harvey’s cocky drawl underneath it. “This, all of this, this is the misguided workings of a neophyte, dog-paddling in water deeper than the deepest ocean, arrogant and ignorant of how small he is, how dark the waves below.” Cowboy had his back against the wall. “I could unmake you with a thought, and I am a shadow of the beasts you fail to see rising up to swallow you whole.” The shadows swirled and formed into a great scythe that she held in her towering shadowy hands, perched above Cowboy’s head, ready to strike. “This is a mercy.”

The scythe came down and passed through Cowboy. He gasped and shuddered and almost fell over, but I grabbed him by the neck and stared into his eyes. “You won’t be summoning anything again. You can try, but it won’t work. It never will. Let it go and live your life, Cowboy.”

I let him drop to the ground. I’m pretty sure he passed out. So we just left him there, and hoped he learned his lesson. If not, well, at least his next scam couldn’t be any more dangerous.

...

Nah. It doesn’t work that way. But what Jacqueline keeps telling me is magic shit’s all about, like, faith. And then she walks that back because that makes it sound like she means religious faith, and it’s not that, or like it can be, but it doesn’t have to, or something. I’m not gonna pretend I get it. But I think what it’s really about is, like… the belief that things should work the way you expect them to? You gotta have confidence in what you’re doing, and that’s what she took from him. Lot of work to make a white guy feel insecure, but I guess you can’t argue with results.

[keanu-reevesblog]

The Best Way To Get Started Is To Quit Talking And Begin Doing.” – Walt Disney

This straight-to-business quote comes from the man who created the happiest place on earth – and a multibillion-dollar empire. Click here to tweet this inspirational quote.



2) “The Pessimist Sees Difficulty In Every Opportunity. The Optimist Sees Opportunity In Every Difficulty.” – Winston Churchill

When it comes to success quotes by famous people, Winston Churchill’s inspirational words of wisdom always make the list. Click here to tweet this quote.



3) “Don’t Let Yesterday Take Up Too Much Of Today.” – Will Rogers

Will Rogers was an American actor, cowboy, columnist and social commentator who believed in keeping forward momentum. Click here to tweet this quote.



4) “You Learn More From Failure Than From Success. Don’t Let It Stop You. Failure Builds Character.” – Unknown

When you replace ‘lose’ with ‘learn’ in your vocabulary, the thought of failure becomes less daunting and lets you focus on growth. Click here to tweet this.



Click the link button below to sign up for my daily quotes email that includes many more of my most popular inspirational quotes, delivered to your inbox daily. It will empower and motivate you to take action, create success, and enjoy life – no matter how tough it gets.

5) “It’s Not Whether You Get Knocked Down, It’s Whether You Get Up.” – Inspirational Quote By Vince Lombardi

Vince Lombardi was an American football hero who’s uplifting words frequently make it onto Top 10 Inspirational Quotes lists. Click here to tweet this quote.



6) “If You Are Working On Something That You Really Care About, You Don’t Have To Be Pushed. The Vision Pulls You.” – Steve Jobs

Steve Jobs truly captured some of the wisdom of life in this statement. Do that which you are passionate about and your work will feel effortless.



7) “People Who Are Crazy Enough To Think They Can Change The World, Are The Ones Who Do.” – Rob Siltanen

I believe this is one of the best quotes to live by because it reminds me to think without limits and never doubt my wildest thoughts.



8) “Failure Will Never Overtake Me If My Determination To Succeed Is Strong Enough.” – Og Mandino

There’s a special place in my heart for these inspirational words. They remind me of my unwavering determination to become a motivational speaker.



9) “Entrepreneurs Are Great At Dealing With Uncertainty And Also Very Good At Minimizing Risk. That’s The Classic Entrepreneur.” – Mohnish Pabrai

This line always puts a smile on my face because it alludes to the excitement of not knowing what to expect but seeing a possible life-changing outcome.



10) “We May Encounter Many Defeats But We Must Not Be Defeated.” – Maya Angelou

Maya Angelou was one of the top civil rights activists and embraced a spirit of positive thinking and sheer determination.



11) “Knowing Is Not Enough; We Must Apply. Wishing Is Not Enough; We Must Do.” – Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

This piece of wisdom is one of my favorite quotes for students. It reminds us to apply what we learn and take action toward success, rather than waiting and hoping.



12) “Imagine Your Life Is Perfect In Every Respect; What Would It Look Like?” – Brian Tracy

The exercise mentioned in this excerpt of my personal development philosophy is one of the keys to gaining clarity for what you really want in life. Start with a clear vision of your ideal life and happiness, then work backward to achieve it.



13) “We Generate Fears While We Sit. We Overcome Them By Action.” – Dr. Henry Link

I love this pairing of quotation and image (below). Before we act, our imaginations often run wild, but when we move forward we often find the path ahead far less daunting than the horrifying version we had created in our minds.



14) “Whether You Think You Can Or Think You Can’t, You’re Right.” – Quote By Henry Ford

Truly a quote to live by, the American captain of industry, Henry Ford, made this proclamation while reflecting on his life. He is still one of the wealthiest figures of the modern period. Ford also said, “Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.”



15) “Security Is Mostly A Superstition. Life Is Either A Daring Adventure Or Nothing.” – Life Quote By Helen Keller

Helen Keller is the author of this thought-provoking quote about life. I love her adventurous spirit and all or nothing attitude!



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16) “The Man Who Has Confidence In Himself Gains The Confidence Of Others.” – Hasidic Proverb

In this powerful Hasidic proverb, we learn an ancient truth that still holds up in modern times. The power of self-confidence is just as strong today as it was a long time ago. You can still change the thoughts of others by changing your thoughts about yourself.



17) “The Only Limit To Our Realization Of Tomorrow Will Be Our Doubts Of Today.” – Motivational Quote By Franklin D. Roosevelt

F.D.R. famously alluded to the impactpositive thinking can have on the world, stating that our doubts, or our self-limiting beliefs, were the only restraints on the possibilities of the future.



18) “Creativity Is Intelligence Having Fun.” – Albert Einstein

Albert Einstein authored this encouraging and uplifting quote. In just five words, he captured the essence of his intellectual philosophy and inspired others to embrace the creative process.



19) “What You Lack In Talent Can Be Made Up With Desire, Hustle And Giving 110% All The Time.” – Don Zimmer

Professional baseball player and coach, Don Zimmer dedicated 65 years to the sport. The wisdom he left behind implies that will power and dedication are just as important as ability. Again, alluding to the concept that success is formed in the mind before it is manifested in reality.



20) “Do What You Can With All You Have, Wherever You Are.” – Theodore Roosevelt

At number twenty, we have one of the most famous quotes about life by Teddy Roosevelt, who served as President of the United States from 1901 to 1909. A true optimist, he believed in the value of always giving it your all, no matter what you have or where you are.



21) “Develop An ‘Attitude Of Gratitude’. Say Thank You To Everyone You Meet For Everything They Do For You.” – Encouraging Quote By Brian Tracy



22) “You Are Never Too Old To Set Another Goal Or To Dream A New Dream.” – C.S. Lewis



23) “To See What Is Right And Not Do It Is A Lack Of Courage.” – Confucius



24) “Reading Is To The Mind, As Exercise Is To The Body.” – Brian Tracy



25) “Fake It Until You Make It! Act As If You Had All The Confidence You Require Until It Becomes Your Reality.” – Brian Tracy



26) “The Future Belongs To The Competent. Get Good, Get Better, Be The Best!” – Success Quote By Brian Tracy



27) “For Every Reason It’s Not Possible, There Are Hundreds Of People Who Have Faced The Same Circumstances And Succeeded.” – Jack Canfield



28) “Things Work Out Best For Those Who Make The Best Of How Things Work Out.” – Positive Quote By John Wooden



Related: Sales Quotes to Motivate Your Team to Sell More Effectively in 2019

29) “A Room Without Books Is Like A Body Without A Soul.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero



Download My Free E-Book of Motivational Quotes to Live By

Click the button below to get my e-book with 15 questions to ask yourself to stay motivated and many more inspirational quotes that will empower and encourage you to take action, create success, and enjoy life.



30) “I Think Goals Should Never Be Easy, They Should Force You To Work, Even If They Are Uncomfortable At The Time.” – Michael Phelps



31) “One Of The Lessons That I Grew Up With Was To Always Stay True To Yourself And Never Let What Somebody Else Says Distract You From Your Goals.” – Michelle Obama



32) “Today’s Accomplishments Were Yesterday’s Impossibilities.” – Robert H. Schuller



33) “The Only Way To Do Great Work Is To Love What You Do. If You Haven’t Found It Yet, Keep Looking. Don’t Settle.” – Steve Jobs



34) “You Don’t Have To Be Great To Start, But You Have To Start To Be Great.” – Zig Ziglar



35)  “A Clear Vision, Backed By Definite Plans, Gives You A Tremendous Feeling Of Confidence And Personal Power.” – Brian Tracy



36) “There Are No Limits To What You Can Accomplish, Except The Limits You Place On Your Own Thinking.” – Brian Tracy



Need a Bit of Motivation?

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Motivational Quotes For Leaders

My best quotes about business success have been inspired by the world’s best leaders. Whether you’re an entrepreneur, business owner, or manager, here are 20 leadership quotes to help motivate yourself to peak performance.

Remember that true leadership is about striving to become better in all areas of life and empowering everyone around you to become the best versions of themselves. Always focus on improving your leadership qualities as well as others around you.

20 Success Quotes For Inspirational Leaders

Here are 20 of my favorite inspirational quotes for business leaders. If you find them to be particularly motivating, please share this post with your friends.

37) “Integrity Is The Most Valuable And Respected Quality Of Leadership. Always Keep Your Word.”



38) “Leadership Is The Ability To Get Extraordinary Achievement From Ordinary People”



39) “Leaders Set High Standards. Refuse To Tolerate Mediocrity Or Poor Performance”



40) “Clarity Is The Key To Effective Leadership. What Are Your Goals?”



41) “The Best Leaders Have A High Consideration Factor. They Really Care About Their People”



42) “Leaders Think And Talk About The Solutions. Followers Think And Talk About The Problems.”



43) “The Key Responsibility Of Leadership Is To Think About The Future. No One Else Can Do It For You.”



44) “The Effective Leader Recognizes That They Are More Dependent On Their People Than They Are On Them. Walk Softly.”



45) “Leaders Never Use The Word Failure. They Look Upon Setbacks As Learning Experiences.”



46) “Practice Golden Rule Management In Everything You Do. Manage Others The Way You Would Like To Be Managed.”



[valrnyxs-writing-corner]

Short Story: Compounds & Friendship

DO NOT USE THIS STORY OR ITS CHARACTERS UNLESS YOU CREDIT ME!  If you want to use the setting or some of my characters please ask or credit me. Thank you!

-~-~-

Warnings: Slight cursing and slight violence with weapons

-~-~-

Katsumi Akuma woke up to the sound of alarms going off. Everyone was rushing around, grabbing their important belongings, and running out the dorm part of the compound. Katsumi gathered all her belongings in a rush. Why are the alarms going off? She thought. I don’t see or hear any sign of attack. Once she had all her belongings secured, she managed to stop someone.

“What’s happening?” Katsumi asked the partly familiar person. “Why are the alarms going off?”

The semi familiar person Katsumi asked had dark brown hair and eyes. She was wearing a black shirt with grey cargo pants, which was Teikou's standard issue uniform. She also had a rare, black leather jacket tied around her waist. The girl looked at Katsumi like she was crazy. She started to push past Katsumi, but then an explosion rocked the compound. The girl paused and looked at Katsumi.

“There’s your answer,” the dark haired girl answered as she joined the mob of people. Katsumi still didn’t know exactly who was attacking, but she took the explosion as a warning to get out of the compound and join the rushing crowd.

She followed standard protocol which was to keep silent and move as fast as you can. In case of an emergency, all residents had designated Teikou compounds to go to if their compounds were ever attacked. The compound they were currently fleeing was the Kyoto compound. Katsumi’s assigned emergency compound was the Tokyo compound.

In most people’s opinion, the Tokyo compound was the most dangerous as it was the closest to the Akuyaku’s base. That’s probably because it was the most dangerous, but Katsumi didn’t mind. She liked danger and fighting. Unfortunately for her, she wasn’t cleared for fighting; however, she would be soon. She was very close to completing her training as a front line fighter. Katsumi huffed as she made her way over to the group that was headed to the Tokyo compound.

The people in the compound were split between each person’s usefulness. The people most proficient at fighting were mostly sent to the more dangerous compounds in the middle of Japan. A few of these fighters were sent to each group going to the less dangerous parts of Japan. The people who weren’t proficient at fighting were split evenly between each group.

The Tokyo group would be traveling with the people bound for the Nagoya compound, as it was on their way to the Tokyo compound. The Tokyo group would spend the night there before continuing to head to Tokyo. Katsumi was excited to go outside as she hadn't been above ground since she joined Teikou.

Another explosion rocked the compound, and their superiors yelled at everyone to hurry up as they would be leaving in one minute. Katsumi watched her compound mates scramble to get into their designated groups. She turned to face her group leader who instructed everyone to start moving.

While they walked through the tunnels to the outside, Kastumi spotted a familiar person. She walked to the front of the group and poked the dark haired girl in the back. The dark haired girl turned her head towards Katsumi.

“Hey,” Katsumi said. “I never got your name from earlier.” The dark haired girl looked incredulously at Katsumi. Katsumi wondered what she did this time to offend this girl.

“Are you serious?” The girl asked. Katsumi laughed nervously

“What?” Katsumi replied.

“You seriously don’t remember me?” The girl asked.

“No?” Katsumi rubbed the back of her neck.

“Are you kidding me! I sat next to you in class and I was your sparring partner!” The girl practically yelled. She threw her hands in front of her in exclamation and let them fall back down to her sides.

“Ooohhh, that’s why you look familiar,” Katsumi laughed. The dark haired girl facepalmed and groaned.

“I still didn’t get your name though,” Katsumi said.

“It’s Yumiko Mizuki,” Yumiko replied.

-~-~-

As the group neared the Nagoya compound, they came across some Akuyaku goons. Some of the younger fighters, such as Katsumi, wanted to take the group out, but their superiors said it would alert the Akuyaku to where the compound was. So, the Teikou group scurried around the Akuyaku goons and made their way into the tunnels of the Nagoya compound.

Closer to the middle of the compound, they were stopped by two guards with makeshift masks on their faces. The group separated in two and went in different directions. The Tokyo group was brought to a secluded dorm area in the compound and were told not to leave unless told so by another soldier.

The dorms were set up as twin size bunk beds in rows covering the whole room. There were two bathrooms on opposite sides of the room. One for males and one for females. Both bathrooms had changing stalls, toilets, showers, and sinks. Before the guard could leave, Katsumi stopped them.

“Why do you have masks on?” Katsumi asked. The guard looked uncomfortable and glanced to the side before answering.

“We have an epidemic in the compound and we don’t have a cure for it,” the guard replied. “It’s killing a lot of people in the compound and we are grateful for the new arrivals, even if they come from a destroyed compound.” The guard finished speaking and quickly walked out of the dorms.

Katsumi made her way to an empty bunk and chose the bottom bed. Katsumi unpacked her book from her sniper rifle bag, to keep her entertained until dinner came. Dinner came and went, and Katsumi laid down on her back and continued to read. She was so engrossed in her book that she didn’t hear Yumiko come up next to her bed. She bent down next to Katsumi’s ear.

“Boo!” Yumiko yelled. Katsumi flailed her arms and legs, book still in hand, and somehow fell off the other side of the bed. She picked herself off the floor and looked at the book on the ground.

“What the fuck, Yumiko!” Katsumi exclaimed. “You made me lose where I was in my book!” Katsumi picked the book up off the ground and brushed it off. Yumiko looked at Katsumi like she had lost it.

“That’s what you’re worried about?” Yumiko smirked. Katsumi let out a sigh and looked toward the ceiling. Her eyes passed the bunk above her and made it to the ceiling. As she immediately looked back to the bunk above her, she locked eyes with someone staring at her. Katsumi yelped. The person fell back against her bed laughing.

“Hey!” Katsumi yelled. “That’s not funny! You have someone staring at you from above like a fucking creep!” The person just kept on laughing. Katsumi looked across the bed to Yumiko. She looked like she was trying to hold back a laugh,

“It’s not funny!” Katsumi yelled again. Yumiko couldn’t contain her laughter anymore and burst out laughing. Katsumi groaned and threw herself onto her bed face first. Katsumi heard the person in the bunk above her climb down the ladder and poke her leg.

“Are you going to turn over so we can have an actual chat?” the person asked. Katsumi just groaned in response.

“Come on, be nice,” Yumiko said as she prodded Katsumi’s side. Katsumi groaned out a “fine” and rolled over. The stranger who was standing next to Yumiko had shoulder length-dyed green hair with the roots showing at the top of their head. They had dark blue eyes and were wearing Teikou’s standard uniform. They also had a purple hoodie over their grey black shirt.

“Hello! My name is Kazumi Wakana,” Kazumi stated. Yumiko introduced herself and Katsumi. Just as they were done with introductions, their superior yelled at them to go to bed as they were getting up early to travel to the Tokyo compound.

“Well, goodnight you two,” Kazumi said. “We can talk more tomorrow.” Yumiko bid a goodnight and Katsumi hummed in response. She sat up for a second to put her book away, take her shoes off, and climb under the covers. She drifted off to sleep before the lights even went off.

-~-~-

Katsumi woke when breakfast came. She was slow to get out of bed, so there weren't too many breakfast options. Once she had eaten, she went back to her bed to pick up her sniper rifle bag. As Katsumi neared the door where everyone was waiting to go, she managed to avoid her torturers from the night before and continued to evade them for three days. On the fourth night, they were attacked by a group of about 100 bandits who had decent fighting skills. Katsumi was behind a rock setting up her sniper rifle. This is when Yumiko and Kazumi decided it was an appropriate time to try and talk to Katsumi. Kazumi and Yumiko walked up directly behind Katsumi.

“So what’s up?” Kazumi asked. Katsumi rounded on Kazumi with a handgun pointed straight at their head.

“Whoa, ok,” Kazumi said, putting their hands up next to their head. Katsumi groaned and holstered her handgun. She turned back around and continued to set up her sniper rifle.

“So you're not going to talk to us?” Yumiko questioned. “Even though we are right here and you’ve been avoiding us for days?” Katsumi replied with a “yup” popping the P, as she finished setting up her sniper gun.

“Why?” Yumiko asked again. She walked closer to Katsumi and put a hand on her shoulder. Katsumi rounded on Yumiko and slapped Yumiko’s hand off her shoulder.

“Are you guys really doing this right now?” Katsumi yelled. “I can’t believe you two! We are in the middle of a fight and you want to go over why I haven’t been talking to you! Unbelievable!” Katsumi pointed at Yumiko. “You should be up high and have a good vantage point, shooting the bandits with your bow!” Katsumi turned to look at Kazumi. “And you should be down there,” Katsumi pointed to the ground where their group made camp. “cutting up bandits with your sword! But nooooo, you came up to me to talk about your friendship problems!” Katsumi spat the last words out and turned back to her sniper rifle and shot until she ran out of bullets. She then pulled out a knife from her bag and made her way down into the fray.

Yumiko and Kazumi just stared after her and watched her fight until the battle was over. They both silently picked up Katsumi’s sniper rifle and bag the best they could and carried it back to camp.

-~-~-

The next day Yumiko and Kazumi found Katsumi in the front of their group walking with their group leader. “Hey, Katsumi could we talk about yesterday?” Kazumi asked. Katsumi glanced over at them with a scowl on her face and looked back ahead. Their superior nudged Katsumi and gave her a pointed stare. Katsumi looked annoyed.

“Fine, but we aren’t talking up here,” Katsumi stated. The three of them fell to the back of the group. They walked in silence, both Yumiko and Kazumi looked to the ground guilty.

“Kastumi, we’re really sorry,” Yumiko spoke, breaking the silence. “We shouldn’t have tried to talk to you in the midst of a fight. We should have been focused on the battle and because we did nothing we lost a couple of friends.” It was silent for a minute until Yumiko nuged Kazumi in the arm.

“Um, yeah,” Kazumi stammered. “I thought it would be a good idea because you were alone and you had already set up your sniper rifle so you couldn’t move. We’re also sorry for standing about like idiots after you went off on us.” It was silent for a while before someone spoke again.

“I’m sorry for going off on you like that,” Katsumi apologized. “I shouldn’t have done that and I also shouldn't have evaded you after we left the Nagoya compound. It was rude of me. Also, thank you for picking up my sniper rifle and my bag.” Katsumi looked at the ground and rubbed the back of her neck. Yumiko and Kazumi looked shocked. Katsumi looked up at Yumiko and Kazumi.

“Why do you look shocked?” Katsumi asked with confusion coloring her tone. Yumiko and Kazumi laughed.

“What?” Katsumi asked again. “Did I miss something funny?” Yumiko and Kazumi’s laughter slowly stopped as they caught their breath.

“You missed nothing,” Kazumi replied. “We were just surprised you apologized because in class you always seemed so cold and dismissive.” It was Katsumi’s turn to be shocked and then her expression morphed from shock to an apologetic smile.

“So we’re good now?” Yumiko asked. Katsumi nodded.

“Yup, you might even say we’re friends,” Katsumi replied. Kazumi had a mock expression of shock on their face.

“Oh my gosh!” Kazumi said in mock amazement. “Can you believe it Yumiko! We are considered friends of the great Katsumi Akuma!” Yumiko followed Kazumi and fake gushed over being friends with “The Great Katsumi Akuma.”

“Watch it you two, you’re pushing it,” Katsumi growled. Yumiko and Kazumi cowered in fake fear and then all three of them dissolved into laughter.

[holidaysat221b]

Part One of the List of Sherlolly Prompts as of 12/12/2017

As of 12/5/2017 the Prompt List has been split into two parts due to size.

Here is a link to the very informal Sherlolly Prompt Fest FAQ

Below is the list of prompts submitted to @holidaysat221b.  Where possible, we have tagged the submitter so that credit can be given if a prompt inspires someone to write a fic or create a piece of art.

Some submissions were specifically labeled as Art prompts, and they have been separated into their own category.  However, if you are a fic writer and one of the art prompts calls to you, go for it.  Likewise, if one of the other prompts makes you want to draw, have fun with it!  Prompts that have been filled at least once will be followed with an *, in case that influences your decision to work with one.

We only ask three things:

1) If you use one of the prompts on this list, please remember to credit the prompt and prompter somewhere in your fic summary/art description or in your notes.  It’s the polite thing to do.

2)  Please submit an ask or message @holidaysat221b with a link to your work, the prompt you used, the prompter, and how you want to be identified (in cases where your Tumblr and fic/artist name are different).  This will allow us to share your work with our followers and tag the prompter (if possible).

3)  We have set up a Sherlolly Prompt Fest Collection on Ao3.  If you are planning to post your fic or art on Ao3 and would like to add it to the collection, please do.  As of this moment, the collection is open and unmoderated.  Please remember to credit the prompt and prompter in your fic/art notes.

On to the Prompts as of December 12, 2017

Art

Art prompt:  (I’ve wanted this like burning for five years, I’ll never give up asking)  Sherlock and Molly, the cake scene from Sixteen Candles".   Only in the morgue and Molly’s wearing the lab coat.  -   @sunken-standard *

Art prompt:   Potter!lock.  Don’t care if it’s student Sherlock and Molly in their house robes, teachers, wizarding professionals, a recreation of the Order of the Phoenix group photo with Sherlock characters instead. Whatever.  Just as long as it’s Potter!lock.  -  @darnedchild

Art prompt:  Molly and Sherlock’s first real date gets interrupted by a case.  Are they dressed up for a fancy evening, or wearing something more suited to fish and chips and a walk around the park?  -  Anonymous

AU/Works that do not/will not fit in with the series current on-screen canon

Sherlock: A TV series featuring a hot guy with awesome deductive skills, his best friend the doctor, the exasperated detective inspector, the sweet landlady, and the pathologist. And no, the pathologist isn’t in love with the hot guy.  -  The Silent Fangirl

A post TRF fic, where Sherlock takes Molly with him, but they return to London a couple years later than in canon because Molly got pregnant along the way (or even twice), so now they are three/four of them instead of two? -  @mychakk

“We had chips. She liked me.” – Sherlock in TLD. What could have been had he and Molly gotten chips in TEH: A kick to Tom’s butt. Happy greeting (a hug at least!) at the end of TEH. Quite a lot of sex with Sherlock instead of Tom. Molly the best man’s date. A (sophisticated. Or not) Molly/Janine cat fight for Janine hitting on SH moments. Dancing, so much Sherlolly dancing (and no leaving early). Probably no Shezza (Shezzer?)—which, hmm, is a shame (But maybe they’ve their own not-being-on-a-sex-holiday-but-sexing-a-lot time). A real proposal to Molly. Molly at family Christmas, maybe even a Christmas wedding. Solving CAM without the threat of exile sharpens Sherlock’s deductive abilities. No Norbury as Molly’s already expecting their first offspring, so Sherlock doesn’t taunt needlessly. Mary as the Sherlolly baby godmother as she’s alive! Culverton Smith is taken down by the duo of Mary and Molly while the latter gives birth there (because the ladies are awesome, plus Mrs H tackles him down). John is so impressed he doesn’t look at any other women. Molly’s big heart brings Eurus from her metaphoric plane the moment she steps into 221B, plus baby Holmes wins her heart too. The Holmes family reconciliation and Eurus is in therapy instead of being a multi-killer. Baker Street Boys Team continues while Baker Street Girls Team gives them a run for their money. Mycroft asks Lady Smallwood out himself to her astonishment and internal squealing. Mummy Holmes gets more grandkids than she could’ve imagined. And basically, everyone walks happily into the sunset. The End. Please note, some things can obviously be modified.  -  @mychakk *

AU: Molly runs away from home when her parents try to arrange a marriage for her. She wants to pursue a life that involves science and marry for love if she ever gets married at all. She meets Sherlock, who is being pressured by his family to marry a nice girl they found for him who loves science as much as he does. It will be interesting when they figure it out.  -  @shadowyqueenbeard

AU. Instead of dying, Mary actually does hide from Sherlock and John effectively and they don’t find her. Still wracked by guilt and worried he’ll never see her again, John still imagines her in his mind and Sherlock still goes after Culverton Smith … possibly both to save John and because maybe Smith knows something about where Mary went? To solve the mystery and bring Mary home, Sherlock and Molly team up.  -  @rooneykmara

Uni!lock Sally wakes Molly at 2 am because her junkie boyfriend of dorm 221b is streaking across campus calling her name, so she better stop denying that she’s his girlfriend.  -  @escaily

To cover her butt during New Year's Eurus lies and tells mummy that Sherlock has a wife, and Mycroft borrows her 'Sherlock's wife' excuse whenever he wants to avoid sticky topics during holidays. The lie gets bigger the more Sherlock avoids family meetings. Until December when Sherlock finds out he's married to a forensic (E), sex addicted(E), petite (E), intelligent (M), very forgiving (M) paragon of virtue (M). Now he needs to find a stranger that fits the description before Christmas.  -  @escaily

Rock Royalty AU.  That AU in which Mary drags Molly into an edgy rock concert of her favorite band “Baker Street Boys” even though everybody and their mother knows that indie acoustics and hippie music is Molly’s thing.  Enter Sherlock Holmes lead band member, (the type of Rock Star that sings ‘Wanted Dead or Alive’ while high as a kite) famous for his electric violin solos, addict past and cold attitude.  He tries deducing the girl less likely to throw herself at him out of all the fans and finding that one concert goer who doesn’t get turned on by his music. Turns out that Molly the ‘I-said-I’m-not-a-groupie’ pathologist in training is actually an interesting girl when she’s not covering her ears, even if Sherlock needs to educate her on the finger points of violin appreciation.  Basically a fic where the Rockstar wants to turn this hater into a fan but actually ends up falling for her instead.  - @escaily

Crossovers/Works set in or inspired by another specific fictional universe (ie Potter!lock)

I’d really like to see a Daemon (from the His Dark Materials books by Philip Pullman) version of Series 3/TAB/Series 4 (any or all of those), especially when it comes to the ILY scene.  -  Kay

iZombie!Sherlock – Think of this, if Sherlock gets infected we have: 1) Sherlock with white hair 2) Sherlock getting brains from Molly “for experiments” 3) Sherlock getting different attitudes (hippie brain = hippie!Sherlock) 4) Paler than normal pale Sherlock 5) Sherlock with red bloodshot eyes.   Also:  If Molly Hooper gets infected, it’s like she’s the Liv Moore of Barts.  Lestrade as Clive (and relieved to be not only depending on Sherlock to solve crimes).  Sherlock deduces Molly’s hair color and tan (because Molly can’t show up to work with white hair, even whiter skin color, and very slow pulse rate).  Major asshole Boss being the one shipping tainted Utopium to Britain.  -  The Silent Fangirl

Superwholock!Sherlolly  -  The Silent Fangirl

Doctor Who!Sherlock - Molly Hooper as a companion  -  The Silent Fangirl

Me Before You!Sherlock  -  The Silent Fangirl

Molly Hooper as “Mary Reilly”.  -  @darnedchild

Dracula!lock, but maybe mix it up just a little.  Sherlock as the object of Dracula’s affections (Mina) and/or Molly as the vampire expert (Van Helsing)?  - @darnedchild

Sherlock and Lady Molly of Scotland Yard.  Molly Hooper as Lady Molly from “Lady Molly of Scotland Yard” with her crime solving partner Mary (Morstan).  (Note from Mod -  “Lady Molly of Scotland Yard” used to be available via BBC Radio 4 Extra on demand, you may still be able to find it online somewhere.)  -  @lullikiish

A Hades and Persephone AU with Molly as female Hades (the unrequited love at first, the proximity with death) and Sherlock as a male Persephone (the curiosity, the lack of eating).  Irene would be a great Poseidon (the chaos provided by the ocean, the sailor knots).  As for John, he would be a great Hermes!  -  Kay

Gimme “The Full Monty”, baby. Surely someone can find a reason to have Sherlock, John, and Greg get their kits off? Or Molly, Mary, and Sally? Mrs H could give professional pointers and tips to whomever you’re planning to get starkers.  -  Anonymous

A Sherlolly version of “It’s A Wonderful Life”. Sherlock gets to see what his loved ones’ lives would be like if he never existed, realizing the positive impact he had on them when he was alive.  -  @simplyshelbs16xoxo

Something similar to “The Ransom of Red Chief”, only in this version the kidnappers have figured out that Molly Hooper is a pressure point for Sherlock Holmes. They take her captive, intending to blackmail Sherlock or hold Molly for ransom; but Molly Hooper is having none of that nonsense. While Sherlock works to save her, Molly finds ways to torment, injure, and outwit her captors. Whether she escapes on her own, finds a way to let Sherlock and John know where she’s at, or ends up driving her kidnappers crazy to the point that they give up and send her back is up to the author. Could go humorous or dark very easily.  -  Anonymous

Clique/Sherlock Crossover - After the events of TFP, Molly Hooper (who is actually Jude McDermid) decides to go back to Edinburgh, broken-hearted & bound to continue the “family business” after years of running away from it. Gone is her long hair & colorful jumpers: she completely changed her look & have every information about Molly Hooper destroyed. Years passed, she forms the Solasta Women’s Initiative, much to her brother’s delight, until a horrific event brings Sherlock Holmes back into her world again. It’s more of a Sherlolly/Judelock mash-up where Sherlock wants to know why she left, who she really is, & how he’s still madly in love with her. Molly/Jude is more like she’s finally embracing the life she thought she never wanted, until she realizes that she can never forget the love she has for Sherlock. Can she be Jude & love him as well? Can Sherlock accept her true reality, or does he only love her as Molly & not Jude. Throw in a nice mystery/thriller plot too! Oh yeah Mycroft, who knew Molly is Jude from the beginning but decided to let Sherlock figure it out on his own, is determined to stop this union at all cost. Pls include all the girls & guys in Clique, especially Holly since she’s a badass off to take down Jude and her “girls” no matter what! It’s a crazy plot but if you’ve seen the 1st 2 episodes of Clique, it screams for a Sherlolly crossover fic! Thanks for reading this uber-long fic prompt!  -  @violetjersey

A reversed Potter!lolly with Sherlock being the Muggle-born, while Molly’s the pureblood witch (the likes of Luna Lovegood). Sherlolly, of course.  -  @mychakk

Agatha Christie’s “And Then There Were None” – because I always think of the movies when I see Mizjoely’s U.N. Owen tag.  -  @darnedchild

We know Molly can keep other people’s secrets. Maybe Molly has a few secrets of her own, i.e. her very secret collection of FWBs. Because honestly, you think she would just sit alone in her home every night, year after year, quietly pining for a romantic relationship with Sherlock? And what a surprise when Sherlock and their friends find out…maybe at Sherlock and Molly’s wedding? Crossover possibilities depend on FWBs selected…Q (James Bond), Loki (Avengers), Doctor Strange, etc.  -  @rubyred7531

Crack!fic based on an episode “Friends”.  Sherlock marries Janine.  (Maybe for a case, or because Molly is still engaged to Tom.)  Unfortunately, he says Molly’s name during his wedding vows . . .  - @shadowyqueenbeard

Period pieces/TAB

Victorian “Hooper”lock—Molly in disguise as “Hooper” the man, and they work together on a case and sparks fly. They flirt and all, and Sherlock can’t figure out right away that she’s a woman, and I think it might not even bother him that much.  -  @lullikiish

TABverse – After the whole bride thing Molly Hooper asks Sherlock to help her create a new Alias for herself, something ‘detective proof’.  The thing is that Sherlock doesn’t approve of the nurse Alias, or shopkeeper, or the governess one, or the maid costume (brothel girl disguise almost kills him).  For Sherlock her new persona will just have to be the wife of someone with status, someone like him.  -  @escaily

Song fic/Inspired by lyrics

Song Fic:  Adele’s “Water Under the Bridge”  -  @darnedchild  *

Song Fic:  … I would love something based on “Samson” by Regina Spektor please.  -  @chelle812

Song Fic:  Katy Perry’s “Unconditionally”  -  @darnedchild

Song Fic:  Texas’ “I’ll See It Through”  -  @darnedchild *

Song Fic:  … I’ve got a quote from a song.  “You only know you love her when you let her go.”  (Note from Mod - The song appears to be Passenger’s “Let Her Go”)  -  @flowerstar5  *

Song Fic: Angst.  Based on the ABBA song “Knowing Me, Knowing You”.   Sherlock and Molly have tried to have a serious relationship, but it just didn’t work out.  -  @shadowyqueenbeard

OT3/Sherlock, Molly, and ?

A case involving wine and stolen spatulas leads to Mycroft Holmes being attracted to Molly Hooper.  Too bad Molly’s had enough of the Holmeses, and Sherlock mooning over her really isn’t helping.  (Molly Hooper/Mycroft Holmes/Sherlock Holmes)  -  The Silent Fangirl

Molly wants to meet The Woman.  Irene and Sherlock are still friends, and Molly is curious.  Much to everyone’s surprise, Molly and Irene hit it off fairly quickly.  (Sherlock Holmes/Molly Hooper/Irene Adler)  -   Anonymous

When Sherlock is injured and stuck in a cast up to his thigh, Mary and Molly find out JUST how grumpy he can get.   They end up putting him by a window with binoculars, his pain medication, snacks, juice and his mobile.  What happens next?  (Molly Hooper/Sherlock Holmes/Mary (Morstan)Watson)  -  @penaltywaltz

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

Evading eternal gloom and chaos in general | November Goals Update

Hey People of Earth!

Today is December 1st. Which means, November (death) is over, and I can officially restart life during Christmas break in 21 days. November as a whole was much better than October (so much, we don't even compare the two) which is strange, as November is the month of death usually because school gets crazy. Regardless, I’m very pleased that I somehow evaded eternal gloom (for the most part) in November.

Some cool things happened this month, including two university open houses in two different locations in Ontario (London + Windsor = two road trips, two weekends in a row), that high school dance life (my first hs dance when ur last year is next year and this is the first social occasion you’ve attended haaaa lol rip) and Literally The Worst Case Of Writer’s Block Ever I Kid You Not. (Which I will definitely go into in this month’s writing update!)

Overall, November was this very chaotic amalgamation of busy, but cumulatively, was pretty darn memorable. Darn.

Onto the goals.

(Also, I don't know if I’ve ever explained this in recent years, but I work with goals in a very strange way. As in, I don't really work with them, as in, I write these posts every month with goals, then never refer to them for the entire month, then come back a month later ?? and ?? for some ?? reason this ?? works ?? it’s also very entertaining to laugh at my failures is that morbid that I enjoy this very much oh no)

(I enjoy writing these posts a lot though, they give me some time to reflect on the last 30 or 31 days I’ve lived and they act as a great routine. :))

Anywhoozies, onto the things I did and mostly did not do:

1. Hit 15k in FOSTERED #6

So. Let’s just talk about this goal very briefly, shall we. As I mentioned above, November and I did not get along in terms of writing, as in, November served me a big ol’ slice of Writer’s Block and left me to choke on it. I wasn't really expecting this block to be so severe, but it was a thing, and it was very real. I mentioned this in DtWT #66, and I know writer’s block is controversial (some people thinks it’s a bullshit excuse, some people don't care, some people strongly believe in it, etc). I stand on the side of ‘in creative fields, every artist is bound to run into some form of a challenge at some point in their career’. As a creative person, I've experienced tons of creative block. In some cases, yes, this block is caused by fear, lack of ideas, sometimes procrastination, but ohhhh myyy, November’s writer’s block was none of these things.

Initially, it was straight up fear, I’ll admit that. I was just starting this book, didn't want to screw up the beginning of the *very last* book, couldn't piece together ideas that I thought were good even though @sarahkelsiwrites​ was very honest about them and had good feedback, etc, etc. I would say the first week and a half of this block were straight-up fear based. And then weeks 2 + 3 came and it sort of wasn't anymore. I wasn't scared to write this book because at this point, I was pretty fed up with my moping and fear, and just wanted to get some words out.

*and then the words stopped coming and they just stopped coming*

(which isn't entirely the truth, but let me elaborate)

In this time period, I was still writing. I was still hitting my 250 goal almost every single day, and there wasn't one day I didn't go about writing, or go about figuring out how to go about writing. To me, writer’s block doesn't mean I’m not writing. It just means there’s this disconnect that prevents me from immersing myself into my work, thus holding me back from creating the best thing I possibly can, OR making me think I’m creating something of unsubstantial standards. Does this make sense.

So yes, I was very out of it, and I really do think this block was triggered by fear, and once I got over that fear, lingered. BUT I’m doing MUCH better now, let’s not jinx this, AKA I hit 15 587 words this month and when I made this goal literally didn't think I would haaaa bless.

2. Outline more of ALANNIS, and like maybe try to finish it, though I mean this isn’t going to happen, so yeah, just work on it pls

No. lol. So. I’m going to count this as a half win, because I did complete this goal, but not by much. In October’s post, I mentioned I wanted to go through this outline to see if I could possibly shift some of them into the POV of my boi Matthew. This novel is narrated by Chris, and while I love my girl, something was missing from the story, and so I was like, yanno, screw it, let’s see if I can find some chapters to give to Matt just for the hell of it. Overall, I found about 12 or so chapters I could give to him (excluding new ideas that I haven't gotten, but yes), which is pretty good. Not sure I even want to do this dual POV thing, but I mean, I worked on the outline sort of so. (I really need to get on top of this thing I’ve been outlining it for like a year oops.)

3. Upload cover making video

So abridged version of this disclaimer: basically, my hard drive died on me this month, it had all the footage for all my upcoming YouTube vids, including all the speedpaints and cover making vids, lol sigh back up your stuff kids, didn't listen to myself, rip my data, you will be missed (didn’t lose anything personal and my documents are always protected because they’re the most important) SOOO that happened. HOWEVERRR, this is not an excuse for why I did not finish this goal because I literally had another cover making video exported and ready on my computer BUUUUT I’m vERYyyY extra and wasn't liking how my THUMBNAIL was coming out so yesterday when I was scrambling to actually get this goal done because good job time management, was like yo okay imma redo this tomorrow, and so here’s the thumbnail:

And here’s the ugly shit it was before:

AND ACTUALLY, the only reason I never got this vid up like I dunno THREE WEEKS AGO WHEN IT WAS READY, was because of this THUMBNAILLLL WHICH HAS BEEN LIKE A 2 WEEK PROCESS.

(why do I take these things so seriously)

(this thumbnail took me longer to make than the goddamn book cover)

(I digress so sorry for that rant)

(th u mb n a il)

I did get the video up today, though, and you can watch it right here:

4. Read a book yo.

I actually did this, lol. I finished Kristen Martin’s Shadow Crown this month and started History of Wolves by Emily Fridlund, but I’ve been reading that one at school and like, so far, I’m getting the vibe that I need some hardcore tea and snow and a fire log and some peace and quiet to just appreciate this book because so far I’ve read it in math class and while I do enjoy my math class, i’m getting the feeling this book ain’t no math class aesthetic. (so, the answer is, no I didn't finish this book, but yes, I really really want to because i’m liking it a lot so far and the voice is nice as fuuuuuuuuh and dooooon’t get me started on the writing clapz for dayz)

5. Finish another character portrait

I actually did four portraits this month, two of which are Christmas gifts so I can’t share those at the moment, but here’s one I did of @sarahkelsiwrites​’ character Simon:

(and you can watch the speedpaint HERE)

And then one I did of Quinn, my MC for THIS IS WHERE THE END STARTS:

(which might be my favourite piece of art and you can watch the speedpaint HERE)

6. Find and finalize an ALANNIS epigraph

I dunno why this is still a goal because I’m literally not going to do it if I’m hardly working on the darn outline, but yes, no, fail.

7. Work on FOSTERED #5′s book cover

Epic fail, XD. I don't like the design of the re-designed FOSTERED covers, but for the sake of consistency, I’m going along, and that's serving for some unenthusiastic cover designing but I do need to get this done so I can order copies. (WHICH, by the way, I have a new copy of I’M DISAPPOINTED to order, a copy of my sister’s novel, A HAPPINESS TO WONDER, a copy of my novelette sort of thing THE TREATED and on top of this FOSTERED #5, you can totally call me cheap for realllyyyy not wanting to pay for that shipping twice, lol. Point is, I’ll be doing an unboxing because those are literally my favourite videos ever and I’ve watched every single one on YouTube no lie. ;))

So those were the goals. Finished 4ish/almost5 out of 7 goals this much which is pretty ass, but the ones I didn't finish (with the exception of one AKA THE OUTLINE) weren't super important. Some shtuff I’d like to get done in December:

1. Hit 25k in FOSTERED #6 (aka REWIRED)

2. Outline more of ALANNIS, and like maybe try to finish it, though I mean this isn’t going to happen, so yeah, just work on it pls

COME ONNNN

(it’s literally been so long since I actually outlined this book)

3. Upload a video

4. Read a book yo.

I really do doubt I’ll get this one done, but it’d be real nice.

5. Finish another character portrait

7. Work on FOSTERED #5′s book cover

Probably also won’t finish this oneeee haaaheeaahahe

8. Make a character aesthetic

(this is sort of a cop out because I have to make one for Lonan this month since his birthday is on the 9th and for those birthday posts I need one but also I've been telling myself to do this since the start of November and ohhh noo I’m running out of time oops)

So that’s it for now, folks. I hope your November was great. :) Keep an eye out for the monthly writing update! That’s it for now, thanks for reading!

--Rachel

[nilesheron]

The Boogeyperson (Notes on Failure)

“I'd love to tell you that this [email, sent 3-weeks later than it should have been, without the article you’re hoping would be attached,] isn't indicative of the way things have been going over here, of late, but this is supposed to be an Op-Ed on failures, right?”

I wrote Model D’s Editor on July 7th at about 12:15 AM. The email is a long-winded amalgam of self-deprecation and shame – an attempt to explain why I was so late delivering this article, and how that played into a perspective on failure that has plagued my life and career, and how I’m trying to change my mindset.

The cliff notes: “Failure,” too often, is a warped looking-glass; an inappropriately binary, self-assessment.

The idea of a looking-glass self, paraphrased and adapted, is that when we see ourselves (in our minds), often it is as we expect other people see us.

We look at the rubrics and standards we’ve fallen short of (or, I suppose, exceeded, but this is my article and I don’t personally know what it’s like to exceed a standard I’ve set).

In our mirrors, we are the weight that shouldn’t be hanging from our bodies, the skin that’s oily, teeth that are not perfect and straight and white, the things we said wrong yesterday, things that are too big, things that are too small – we see that we aren’t millionaires at 30 like we told our high-school classmates we would be. We’re closing in on 35, now, and it seems less and less like we’ll be able to retire immediately thereafter, as was our original plan. We have failed all of the past-versions of our projected future best-selves.

Failure, for everyone I’ve met, is a reflective property.

I’ve never in my life heard someone use the word “failure” to describe another person who actually tried to do something -- that is, of course, outside of caricature representations of slightly-shady-tough-loving aunties going off on main-plot characters on silver screens… And even then there’s usually a reconciliation point later in the script where they explain “it’s not that you’re a ‘failure,’ you’re just not giving yourself a chance to succeed – because you’re acting stupid. Stop holding yourself back.” Then they hug, and nephew/niece has a self-betterment montage on the way to their eventual “win scenario.”

In real life, people say all kinds of messed up stuff about us, but it’s usually not “look at this failing failure of a human being.” That’s not to say that we always (or ever) know how to help and support each other – especially within our economic decisions – but, you have to work really hard to generate active naysaying… and to the literal point I’m making here, not even your haters – I promise – no one is sitting at home or elsewhere calling you “a failure.”

No, no, beloved: “Failure” is a title you judged, juried, executed, and decided to carry around with you all by your onezie (I’m speaking to myself, here).

(Maybe I’m just a crazy person. It’s cool. You can stop reading if none of this resonates…)

So why are we so obsessed with failure. Why are we so terrified by it?

Easy answer? Because we’re narcissists, and somewhere, it’s just easier to think about ourselves outside of the reality that at any time, each of us is one of seven or 8 billion people currently living on Earth. We are obsessed with the idea that not only are we each snowflakes, but that some snowflakes are “objectively” better than others. And whether or not we admit to ourselves that this is a race, we all tend to embody the immortal words of Ricky Bobby -- we want to be first, not last. (This is a whole article in itself, but let me get back on track, here…)

At this point, I’m convinced that we are dealing with a word misunderstood – which is especially problematic because it’s also a word we almost exclusively use internally – and inappropriately constrain to a point of binary evaluation. We use the word as though our life is a pass/fail course. I mean, I suppose at end-of-life you could force an objective net-positive/negative evaluation to determine that someone was or wasn’t a failure, but it’d be really tough (case in point: Is our president a failure?). In any case, it’s certainly damn-near impossible to evaluate while your lungs are working. And yet, we do. Constantly.

I dropped out of high school. I dropped out of college. I started writing a book (I stopped writing the book). I started recording an album (I stopped recording the album). I started a company (it didn’t work). I started another company (it didn’t work). I lost a promotion opportunity (and the job all together) because I had never gotten my GED. I got a GED (at 26). I started another company. It went really really really well, until we got buried in cease and desist orders by the state of Michigan alleging we had committed umpteen securities violations (we proved that we hadn’t; it then didn’t work).

I turned 31 in June. I’ve pretty much set most of my romantic relationships on fire (#foreveralone), and have some honestly-not-terrible-but-totally-anxiety-inducing debt to show for the various entrepreneurial attempts and adventures I’ve made and been on.

My crowning achievement, most days, seems to be the fact that I haven’t starved or actually fallen on an actual sword throughout my adult life-to-date.

I give you this self-immolating recap of my past 13-14 years because despite the fact that by so many objective metrics I feel justified in considering myself a failure, I actually can’t think of anyone who would describe me as that. That’s not a humble brag. I can think of lots of people who don’t like me, much. But on the long list of warts and flaws, I just don’t think (hope, pray, and please don’t pop my bubble) that anyone would call me a “failure,” no matter how much feeling like one has defined my life.

This article is actually appropriately timed (God tends not to make as many mistakes as it feels like we do). I’ve been thinking a lot about the things that happen to us when we are consumed with fear, especially within entrepreneurship – and often within a low-to-moderate income demographic filled with people of color (read: Detroit).

Much more interesting to me, despite what the long-winded pre-amble above might lead you to believe, is the fact that thinking about failure as a binary, death-sentencing, singular event has a problematic impact on the way we look at success and ourselves. For the purposes of this discussion, I’m looking at my fellow entrepreneurs of color, but the theory generally applies much more broadly.

Especially as people of color, we are trained to make safe choices. We are conditioned to survive (or succumb) to flagrant school-to-prison pipelines, presumptions of guilt, police encounters, and implicit biases in job interviews (and most other places, too). We are taught that when you have a “good thing” like food, and shelter, and clean water (depending on what county you live in), that you should double-down, and protect it. We are taught to be risk-averse, and the ugly beast of a boogey-person who lurks on the other side of risk is named Failure.

We are taught not to dream big, not to quit stable jobs, not to concern ourselves with building new wings, and not to jump off cliffs, because – and it is implicit in the wary knowledge passed down from the ancestors – that we will fail (and die, or otherwise fall victim to a world not built for us).

We are taught, frankly, that risk is for white people (there are skydiving and board game jokes, here).

We are taught lies.

(To be fair, it’s not only black folk who are given these constructs, I would just argue that we suffer more from the systematic integration of them.)

Yes. Lies. All of them.

And maybe the most damning of all is the often-unchallenged notion that the entrepreneurial problems, hurdles, setbacks, set-ups, pitfalls, fall-throughs, and plain bad luck are all close kin to our aforementioned boogey-person homie Failure.

But wait… The fundamental purpose of a business is to bridge a gap, or solve a problem, right? Entrepreneurs succeed by “fixing” market failures at a level of proficiency worth paying for (as opposed to a theoretically more arduous status quo). Rarely do businesses create something truly “new,” but rather, they solve a need that has been solved before, but in a “better” way. It, therefore, doesn’t take much logical deduction to realize that fundamentally businesses exist to address failure – if your brain is spinning, it’s because we haven’t really given ourselves many easy “wins,” here, logically speaking. The point, here, is why would we assume that the thing built to solve the problem can’t have problems of it’s own? It’s as if we think we’ve failed as soon things become less than a cake walk, or smooth flight.

I’m about to deliver the let-down of the century. I know, I’ve built this up. But here it goes: I don’t have a solution, for you. But I do hope that sharing some thoughts of my own regarding how I diagram the problem in my personal life has helped you do the same.

One positive step that I have taken, of late, has been to just speak some of this stuff to myself, aloud, in hopes of forcing my brain to recognize the subtle differences in language we can use to frame ourselves (and our ventures). Our language, so often, informs our thought processes around faulty assumptions that we don’t even realize we are reinforcing.

I remind myself of these regularly:

Words and specificity matter. It is far (far) easier for a business to fail than a human to fail… A business failure is simple: There is no more resource to pursue “the things.” You ran out of steel for the bridge or some other metaphorical mettle that it would have taken to finish / float / fly. It’s okay. It happens. There are entire articles (books, sub-genres) about people who have failed in businesses on the path to eventual success that came before you, and if you’re lucky, there will be articles about your failures for the folks who deal with these same dilemmas in 20 years.

Every business (and person) has problems. Great businesses find ways to solve those problems, which for the most part are not unique, in new ways that give them advantages over the other people who have tried to do it. So stop being shy about them. They are NOT indicators that you are failing, or a failure. Seek help, talk to people, get advice, talk to more people -- this is the job. These problems are what will make you great, and these problems are to be expected (read: not an indictment of you, just what comes next).

If this were easy, we would all be millionaires.

Trust yourself -- and this one is huge -- logically, you couldn’t trust a failure, so the sooner you can remind yourself that you’re not a failure, the sooner you can get back to trusting your greatness.

Repeat the affirmations and positive steps outlined in 1-4.

The take-away, I hope, is that by recognizing failure to be what it is (internal motivation), hopefully we can distance ourselves from the fears, and start making better choices regarding our businesses and lives. Entrepreneurship is a lonely, boobie-trapped path along the side of the jagged cliff that we jumped from. We are carrying our wings and dreams as we descend into a canyon, before -- if we are among the few -- we can climb back up the other side and tell people “we made it.” Just like all of the successful entrepreneurs before us, we’ll tell people how hard it was, we’ll tell people that it didn’t work, but they won’t remember the part where we tell them about how we didn’t fly across the gaps, but that we fell down and then climbed back up. We will tell them that it doesn’t work the way you plan it…

They won’t listen. None of us do. We are dreamers. They will just hear that we built wings, and it worked out okay in the end (that we weren’t failures, like they fear they are), and they’ll build their wings and walk up to the cliff.

The best thing we can do -- now and then -- is welcome the questions, embrace the problems, and hope that somewhere, someone, will listen to us when we say (over and over and over again) that we are here to listen and talk to them through the things that scare them. We will tell them to hire consultants, and rely on experts, and use their networks. We will try to create as many success stories as possible from the group of people who follow us, if only because it will mean there are that many more survivors available to answer questions like for the next batch.

And if we’re lucky, we can help them unlearn their fears.

In the words of someone smarter than me:

“Failure, if it is anything, is about not trying, not about not succeeding.”

This article originally appeared in shorter form on www.modeldmedia.com. This was the original version that I wrote, but it was (as you might see) long as shit, so it had to be paired down. Thanks to the editorial staff over there for helping me get this in at a word count that was postable, but for anyone who wanted the full-text, I wanted to share.

Be great.

-Niles Heron