#Camilla Dot
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Camilla Dot, Happiness Awaits in streaming e radio dal 22/09
Dal 22 settembre 2023 sarà disponibile sulle piattaforme di streaming digitale e in rotazione radiofonica “Happiness Awaits”, il primo singolo di Camilla Dot.
“Happiness Awaits” è un brano che racconta un viaggio introspettivo nell’oscurità dell’anima, ci proietta nel mondo interiore di una giovane ragazza che lotta con il dolore e le ombre della sua mente. Inizialmente incapace di trovare riposo, il buio si insinua nella sua stanza alle 4 del mattino, costringendola ad affrontare i suoi pensieri più oscuri.
Con una melodia coinvolgente e struggente (la parte musicale affidata a Cristopher Bacco), la canzone ci accompagna nella discesa della protagonista nei meandri della sua tristezza. In questo momento di vulnerabilità, si addentra nel passato, rievocando i pensieri di morte che l’hanno tormentata.
“Happiness awaits” è un viaggio emotivo che permette all’ascoltatore di esplorare la sofferenza e la fragilità della protagonista. Eppure, nonostante il buio e la gravità delle sue riflessioni, c’è una sottile speranza che brilla attraverso l’oscurità, un presagio di felicità che attende di essere scoperto.
Attraverso la sua voce e la sua musica avvolgente, Camilla Dot ci invita a confrontarci con i nostri demoni interiori, sostenendo che la felicità, nonostante tutto, è sempre possibile. “Happiness Awaits” ci ricorda che, anche nel mezzo del dolore, c’è sempre una luce che ci attende al di là del buio.
Happiness Awaits, il singolo d’esordio
Spiega l’artista a proposito del brano: “Questa canzone è nata da un semplice messaggio delle 03:51 del mattino, mandato ad una persona a me molto cara. Si trattava di un momento di grande vulnerabilità, dove ogni parola era completamente sentita, ed fu proprio questo a rendere la canzone così importante per me.
Non cercavo conforto, ma ascolto, e la persona al di là dello schermo, inconsapevolmente, o consapevolmente, l’ha colto alla perfezione. Davanti ad un messaggio del genere, scelse di complimentare la scrittura, dicendomi che sembrava il testo di una canzone. E fu così che nacque ‘Happiness awaits”: una canzone il cui testo fu finito in dieci minuti, ma la cui melodia fu studiata per mesi e mesi per riuscire ad esprimere ciò che provavo quella notte. Il videoclip di “Happiness awaits” racconta la storia di una ragazza che, immersa nel suo dolore, si rigira nel letto nella speranza che i suoi pensieri antivitali vadano via da soli, e che riesca a dormire. Prova a chiudere gli occhi, e così inizia il suo viaggio interiore. Inizia ad immaginare tutte le piccole cose che vorrebbe poter fare, cose che normalmente non richiedono alcun sforzo ma che ormai lei da tempo non riesce a fare: prepararsi una semplice bevanda, guardarsi allo specchio, uscire di casa, in sostanza: vivere. Per una volta pensa veramente di avercela fatta, finché non riapre gli occhi, e si ritrova nello stesso posto, nella stessa posizione, con la stessa speranza di riuscire ad uscirne, forse, un giorno.
Chi è Camilla DOT
Camilla Dot, pseudonimo di Emma Camilla Candotti, è una cantautrice italiana nata a Padova il 22 ottobre 2004.
La sua avventura nel mondo della musica è iniziata all’età di soli 9 anni, quando ha iniziato a coltivare il suo amore per il canto. Ma non si è limitata solo a cantare: a soli 10 anni, ha cominciato a suonare strumenti musicali e a comporre le sue prime canzoni, mostrando un’incredibile versatilità e una creatività sorprendente. Continuiamo a seguire con attenzione il suo percorso artistico, sicuri che ci riserverà ancora molte sorprese e che il suo talento brillerà sempre di più.
“Happiness awaits” è il singolo d’esordio di Camilla DOT disponibile sulle piattaforme di streaming digitale e in rotazione radiofonica dal 22 settembre 2023.
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Some random drawings of Arkham. Lol idk
#drawing#art#digital art#dc comic fanart#dc comics#the riddler#edward nygma#ed nygma#the penguin#oswald cobblepot#music meister#darius chapel#flamingo#dc magpie#margaret pye#dc copperhead#larissa diaz#film freak#polka dot man#abner krill#baby doll#mary dahl#dc the mime#camilla ortin#dc black spider#arkham asylum#arkham#DC KKvers
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New au???
More likely than you think ;)
Will expand/explain in the next post :3
Commissions
#animaniacs#animanics 2020#ducktales#ducktales 2017#the owl house#yakko wakko and dot#yakko#yakko warner#wakko#wakko warner#dot#dot warner#dewey duck#ducktales oc#aged up characters#toh au#why didnt i use della as Camilla? she has a different role in the au ;)#also yes i used my oc....MY AU MY RULES >:D#id like to thank my beautiful and wonderful big brain of a wife for helping me with this au#stay tooned for the update!#screenshot redraw
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sketch of these freaks and geeks
#thought about them meeting and DIED#the locked tomb#tlt#gideon the ninth#gtn#gideon nav#camilla hect#palamedes sextus#palamedes the sixth#camilla the sixth#really enjoy the mange dot tool#canaan house
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I made the Canaan House cast in one of Makowka's Picrews!
I had a lot of fun with this...maybe I will attempt in other Picrews as well. Makowka's are so good guys. You can find this one here.
#gideon the ninth#tlt#the locked tomb#the necromancers have the colored dot and the cavs have the colored background#judith deuteros#marta dyas#coronabeth tridentarius#ianthe tridentarius#naberius tern#jeannemary chatur#isaac tettares#abigail pent#magnus quinn#palamedes sextus#camilla hect#dulcinea septimus#protesilaus ebdoma#silas octakiseron#colum asht#harrowhark nonagesimus#gideon nav#makowka picrew#makowka#canaan house#tlt characters#gideon the ninth characters
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My Check Please Fic Masterpost! 🏒✍🏻
👉🏻 Find me on ao3 at nostalgicplant!
Season of the Witch
Zimbits | 2k | Magical Realism AU | Complete
Bitty has three major problems: First, he is in love with his best friend. Second, he is magic. Third, he has no idea how to address either of those. A not-too-serious magic AU.
Sloshed With Gold
Zimbits | 14k | NHL!Bitty and Photographer!Jack | Complete
Lardo calls in a favor. It involves Boston Pride, photography, and a certain blonde-haired NHL player that Jack can’t get out of his head.
ᴇxᴛʀᴀꜱ
Podfic read and mixed by @chaoskiro
"boston pride hq playlist" by @ohyoufool
Creation Myth
Cowritten with @montrealmadison
Zimbits | 24k | Canon Divergence | Complete
Jack Zimmermann overdoses the night before the draft and becomes the face of the Aces anyway. It goes about as well as you would expect.
ᴇxᴛʀᴀꜱ
"what happens in Vegas" Official Playlist by @ohyoufool and @montrealmadison
Fic Binding Video by @ohyoufool
Call of the Champions
Lardo/Camilla, Zimbits | 13k | 2002 Winter Olympics AU | Complete
“Couldn’t find a mini American flag. Ran into an angel in the hallway. Don’t worry about it.” She shrugs her jacket tighter around her neck. Shitty blinks. “That’s a lot. I was doing shots with the bobsled team in the bathroom.” In the middle of a medal hunt during the 2002 Winter Olympics, Lardo manages to find something else she wants just as bad as the gold.
ᴇxᴛʀᴀꜱ
"Call of the Champions: A Lamilla Winter Olympics AU" Playlist by @jubileesbian
Official art by @virgoscringe
Austin
Zimbits | 18k | Canon Divergence | Complete
Bitty: a lesson in bitterness. “Say please,” Bitty breathes, something swelling inside his chest. Jack looks dazed, drunk at the sight of Bitty above him. “I’ll do anything you ask." He fills the space between them with his offer. “If you beg.”
ᴇxᴛʀᴀꜱ
"austin" Official Playlist by @ohyoufool
#thought it was about time for a fic masterpost!#ENJOY! and thank you to everyone who has given these so much love <333#graphic design is my passion dot gov#omgcp#omg check please#check please#zimbits#lamilla#check please fics#fic rec#check please fic rec#jack zimmermann#eric bittle#camilla collins#lardo#I speak#my works
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⚜Attuned Heroes Siegbert and Soliel: Siblings of Dusk, have arrived!
#xanlow#(implied)#fe siegbert#fe soleil#fe14#fire emblem fates#fire emblem 14#fe fates#i know that attuned heroes dont actually share a title but listen. look. listen. who cares#ANYWAAAYYYY wanted to give them some outfits based off of my consort laslow and legendary xander~!#soliel is also very inspired from legendary camilla :3 like aunt like niece (i guess)#THE siblings of all time. tee hee.#dots draws
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(Yet Another) The Secret History Fan Cast. . .
#the secret history#tsh#tshedit#litedit#litsociety#richard papen#henry winter#edmund corcoran#francis abernathy#charles macaulay#camilla macaulay#POV: I'm in the trenches in MyCast dot com#**myedits#**fandomedits
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okay for the no one who asked: here's my Mercymorn and Camilla met in BOE and she helped Cam meet Harrow theory.
The first time I read HtN, I thought she, Corona and Judith spent the time after Canaan house in the shuttle looking for Harrow and that's how they found her. Now we know they were with BOE (with very little freedom and a very incapacitated Judith), and that Mercymorn was also working with BOE at the time, it seems too convenient that they found Harrow the first time she was ever alone. Left by Mercymorn, who was loudly announcing how long she would be gone for.
I think Mercymorn helped Cam meet Harrow. Not sure why, and there's very little textual evidence, but a lot of situational evidence.
Here's the passage we get:
Harrow isn't a full lyctor. When she goes into the river her body just kinda slumps over. She even asks how is she going to protect herself. On a planet that is covered in life, leaving her alone is a terrible idea.
This might not be how thalergy works, but if you kill the source, the reflection will disappear. She had no real reason to leave.
Mercymorn was very nervous this whole chapter. It could be because of the recent dios apate minor, or maybe because she's planning something
It's not in the passage, but they couldn't land the shuttle properly because there's no where to land. Later, we see our BOE friends in a shuttle. Theirs could be smaller, but even so wouldn't Mercymorn be able to find the BOE shuttle? Wouldn't she report that back to Jod?
As mentioned earlier, and according to as yet unsent, Mercymorn has been working with BOE. Even going so far as to heal Judith. Camilla has been acting as Judith's other caretaker. It's not wild to think they would meet each other at some point
What is wild to think is how Camilla would have found Harrow. She was far away from the nine houses. As Harrow says "reachable only by necromantic means". And they meet on the first time Harrow has been alone on a planet. That just doesn't sound possible without help.
I don't know why Mercymorn would have agreed to help Camilla. She doesn't seem the type to help someone without expecting something in return.
I also don't think this necessarily means anything. Just something I've been rotating in my mind for a few months.
#the locked tomb#tlt meta#camilla hect#mercymorn the first#i feel like that pepe silva meme#or connecting the dots#anyway i'm going to sleep
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listen. let me play with my barbies okay. im having fun.
NOTE: not necessarily a "gender bend" i just wanted to make him cunty
#my posts#my art#sasha nein#sasha voice: jaaaaass fraulien slaaayyyyy#camilla they are yassifying me on tumblr dot com
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its so bad im drawing similarities between every other fandom im in and the aftg characters
#ME!#aftg#i say this again. help.#did not expect for it to get this bad when i picked up the foxhole court five years after i first read it#was reading a post about the one and only camilla hect and i was cosplaying that buzzfeed unsolved meme between her and one andrew minyard.#i connected the dots. you didn't connect shit. i connected them.
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Thank you Camilla
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Princess Diana's Outfit Choices Designed to Irritate Camilla
How Fashion Became Royal Warfare Princess Diana’s Polyester Power Play Bohiney Castle, UK — In the illustrious halls of Bohiney Castle, where every royal drama unfolds like a Shakespearean play, we bring you the latest unraveling of Princess Diana’s masterful use of fashion as her not-so-secret weapon. This wasn’t just a wardrobe; it was a collection of grenades, ready to be launched at Camilla…
#Camilla Parker-Bowles#Camilla&039;s Closet#Diana&039;s Wardrobe#Fashion Feud.#Fashion Statement#Fashion Warfare#Kanga Line#Polka Dots#Polyester#Princess Diana#public opinion#Revenge Dress#Royal Drama#Royal Family#Sartorial Strategy
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can't stop listening to the new beatles song so here r some "now and then i miss you / now and then i want you to be there for me" duos
#bailey & micah georgia & camilla audrey & ana alex & dot#they all make me so sad AUGH#esp georgia & camilla. twins best friends soulmates who stopped seeing eye to eye bc one had a bigger loyalty to how she's perceived than#her own sister#feeling like shes the only person in the world who sees u for u but still feeling SO insanely alone in the world#augh. AND ALEX AND DOTTTT#especially bc dot is dead!!! and alex has been unable to form a real meaningful relationship since!!!!!!#sobs#ocs
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Practice On Me — Part Three — Azriel x Reader
Summary: It’s not an Illyrian party without at least one person starting a fight. Azriel is a jealous little shit. Y/N wants to put the smile right back on his face.
(I really don’t want to ruin this chapter for u but I finished writing it and all I could hear was Camilla Cabello in my head singing “I’llll be hooome for chwismois” — you’ll see why)
Word count: 6.2k
Warnings: Some fiiiilthy language. 18+, NSFW, smut, minors dni 🌶️
It’s not that you and the others are trying to take advantage of Rhysand’s mother’s absence. But having an empty property at your disposal definitely comes in handy.
Particularly on nights like these, two weeks later, when the cottage is packed full with more people than it can reasonably host. There’s drinking and conversation and faces you don’t even recognise, and someone has brought Elpys Vine, a herb grown by someone’s sketchy great uncle on the continent that’s supposed to make you hallucinate.
Judging by the empty chair that a male opposite you keeps winking at, you think it’s probably having the desired effect.
The spot next to you dips down as Azriel takes a seat at your side. He hands you a drink, and so naturally, his arm drapes around your shoulders. It’s comforting — and also a relief, to know that things are still normal after what happened on this very couch two weeks earlier. Not a slither of awkwardness.
But your eyes have most definitely been snagging on every unfamiliar female around you and wondering if one of them could be the target of Azriel’s affections. If Kaeda is here tonight, he hasn’t said so.
Part of you wants to ask, and part of you…doesn’t. For whatever reason.
“This is definitely already way out of hand.” Az comments, cocking an eyebrow as he takes in the volume of people packed into the small space. “I thought it was supposed to be a small gathering.”
“That’s what Cassian told me, too.” You say, and then curiosity gets the better of you. You try to make it seem casual as you study the various females dotted throughout the room. “Is Kaeda here?”
Azriel’s eyes find yours, and he gives a small shake of his head. “No.”
“You didn’t invite her?”
“I didn’t invite anyone. That was Cassian’s job.”
You heave a very dramatic sigh indeed. Sometimes, Azriel is his own worst enemy.
Not that you’ve minded helping him so far — not at all. But surely there must come a point where he directs all he’s learnt at the intended person.
“I will make my move.” He tells you. “I’m just…not quite there yet. Still working on it.”
Fair enough, you suppose. Before you can say anything else, Cassian is suddenly slumping haphazardly into the space at your other side. One of Azriel’s shadows snakes out and clasps your drink before it can slosh down your front.
“Time for a game.” Cassian calls to the room, and you want to groan. Games with Cassian usually ensure chaos. “Let’s play Knife Point.”
There are enough enthusiastic responses that you know your reluctance will be wildly outnumbered. Knife Point is a game that’s used as a ruse to kiss as many people as you like — something you delighted in at fifteen, when kissing was still new to you, but you don’t feel quite the same excitement five years later. It’s pretty simple: a knife is placed in the centre of the table, and the players gather round. One-by-one, everyone takes their turns spinning the knife, and whoever the point settles on when it stops is who the spinner must kiss.
Basic, really. But Cassian loves kissing people.
You and Azriel share a look — one that says he’s no more excited for this than you are. And then you both crack a grin and settle into your seats, because you’ll always go along with Cassian’s shenanigans, even if you complain about them first.
“It seems only fair that the future high lord starts us off,” Cassian says, and slams a dagger down on the coffee table with unguarded enthusiasm. He grins at Rhys, who’s sat in an adjacent armchair with a curvy redhead on his lap. “Rhysand, darling — would you do the honours?”
Rhys flutters thick, dark lashes and gently removes the female from his thigh. “It would be my pleasure.”
The room watches closely as he spins the knife in a sleek way that has a few gazes heating. It spins fast, and then slows, slows, before landing on a female to his right whose name you don’t know. He angles himself towards her, and the smile he gives her most definitely has her falling head-over-heels in love, and the heated kiss he lands on her mouth most definitely has her falling head-over-heels in lust. She looks genuinely heartbroken when it comes to an end.
But then it’s her turn, and she’s kissing Jonan, an ex-fling of yours, and then Jonan is kissing Cassian, and then Cass is spinning the dagger and it’s pointing at you.
Your friend bellows a comical shriek of delight and jumps up so enthusiastically that this time, Az’s shadows can’t stop your drink from spilling. Cass is utterly oblivious as he turns to you with a wicked grin, holding his arms out.
“Come here, sweetpea.” He uses the nickname he’s called you for as long as you can remember. “Come make all my heated dreams come true.”
You snort, handing Az what remains of your drink and pushing to your feet. You intend to deliver a quick peck to Cassian’s lips, but so typically, he clasps your face with enough force to lift you from the floor, and his mouth lands heavily on yours.
Immediately, a chorus of jeers and laughs ring out around the circle. Cassian’s huge hand cups your jaw, and he kisses you like you’ve seen him kiss countless males and females before. It doesn’t matter that you’re his friend, an old comfort blanket — he gives you the exact same energy he gives them. He doesn’t do things by halves.
And the kiss certainly isn’t bad, if not a little strange. You can think of far worse people to be doing this with right now.
It goes on a little longer than necessary, and when you feel it deepen, feel Cassian’s tongue probing yours, you break away. Make a dramatic show of grimacing and wiping your mouth with the back of your hand.
“Damn.” Jonan snorts. “You didn’t kiss me like that, Cass.”
Cass smirks. “You’re not half as pretty, nor half as arousing.”
They squabble, and the game continues, and you slump back down by Azriel’s side, already tuning out the noise. You turn to retrieve your drink, only to find Az draining the rest of it.
“Hey.” You knock your arm against his. “I was going to finish that.”
He stares forward, not even looking at you as he quietly replies, “I figured you were too busy.”
Your face creases into a frown as you take in the stiff, rigid set of his body. He’s damn near hunched in that corner of the couch, and it can’t be comfortable with how his wings are a little squished, but it seems almost as if…as if he’s trying to put some space between you.
You try not to think too much about it as you return your attention to the game once more. The knife continues spinning and people continue kissing, and only once does the blade point in Azriel’s direction, to which he tersely announces he was never playing to begin with.
It’s that which makes you realise the reason behind his mood going south. He’s only just started exploring the art of kissing with you, only just started becoming comfortable with it. The last thing he’ll want to do is make a whole song and dance about it and kiss a near stranger in front of a group of people.
Combine that with his natural aversion to huge gatherings, and it makes sense, now, why he’s clutching your empty cup so tightly, and the muscle in his jaw keeps moving.
When everyone else is distracted, you place a hand on his arm.
“Why don’t we go for a walk?” You suggest. “Get some fresh air.”
But he barely looks at you. Just keeps staring forward. He shoots a quick, hard look in Cassian’s direction and rips it away just as fast.
“I’m fine here.” He says. “You knock yourself out.”
✧: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚
You know Azriel well enough to know when his social tolerance is at an all-time-low, and being at a party is the worst possible thing for him.
He goes more and more into himself, his brooding, and he seems to emanate an invisible signal that warns people to stay far, far away. Not even the drunken, giggling females approach him. The Shadowsinger is in a dangerous mood, and it won’t take much to set him off.
He doesn’t seem all that interested in talking to you, either, given that all your attempts have been met with quiet, one-worded responses. And so, figuring he’ll come to you when he feels like it, you wander off to get yourself another drink, and you sink into the throes of the party.
At some point, you feel a warm touch on your forearm, and you turn to find Jonan there. He’s a damn nice male — for an Illyrian. A little cocky, maybe, but kind. Not the sexist brute that so many of them turn out to be. You and he had been two eighteen-year-olds, excited about exploring each other’s bodies and sex in general. Realistically, it was never going to go anywhere, but you ended things in good spirits, and you’ve very casually fallen into each other’s beds on a few occasions since.
Judging by the way his dark eyes drink you in, you’re sure he’s hoping that tonight will end in the same manner.
“I haven’t seen you in a while.” You say as you pull back from the hug he gives you.
His eyes seem to glimmer with flirtation. “Perhaps you haven’t been looking hard enough.”
You snort. “Or perhaps you don’t train close enough for us to run into each other all that often.”
That’s definitely it. The Illyrian males are sorted into different training groups based on a whole host of different things. Unsurprisingly, Rhys, Cassian and Azriel are in the most skilled group. Jonan is in a different one.
And it’s Jonan’s group, you know, that has just got back from a harsh training exercise that takes them away for weeks at a time. Which is the most likely cause of you having not seen him in passing.
Azriel’s group will be the next to go on one last training exercise before everyone breaks for the winter solstice. They’ll be setting off any day now, as soon as they’re called forth by their general. A few weeks without your three closest friends is a thought you don’t want to linger on.
“How was the training exercise?” You ask, genuinely interested. There will always be a part of you that wishes that was you, out there, putting your skills to use.
But you’re female. And females stay behind.
“Fucking brutal.” Jonan answers. “The weather is bad this year, so we were out there a week longer than we were supposed to be. My sleep pattern is still fucked.”
“Sounds like you need to relax.”
“Oh, I do.” His eyes trail down your body. “Perhaps you can help me with that.”
You open your mouth, not entirely sure what you mean to reply. All you know is that you’re not jumping at the offer of easy, mindless sex like you have done in the past.
But before you can respond, Jonan is stumbling forward, into you. Thanks to a huge, muscled body knocking into him.
He whips around to face Azriel, spilled drink forgotten in his hand. You didn’t even see Az‘s approach.
“Watch it, Shadowsinger.” Jonan narrows his eyes at him. “You almost knocked Y/N over.”
Azriel stops and eyes Jonan with clear dismissal. A rare, antagonising expression sits on his flawless features. “Are you talking to me?”
“Do you see any other shadowy fucks around here?”
One side of Azriel’s lips twitch up in satisfaction. So rarely does he waste his time looking for a fight, but he’s looking for one now — and has found one.
“What I see,” he says, and steps closer to Jonan, towering over him considerably, “is an irritating little cunt who’s in my way. Move.”
But Jonan doesn’t move. Like a typical Illyrian, he salivates at the prospect of a punch-up. He looks a little pathetic as he tries to square up against Az.
“Now, now, Azriel,” he sneers. “That’s no way to talk about Y/N, is it?”
And the mention of your name in Jonan’s mouth is all it takes for Azriel to launch himself at him. There’s not nearly enough room for this, and as he grabs Jonan by the front of his tunic and slams him against the wall, all sorts of surrounding objects go flying.
At once, everyone is turning to watch the confrontation. And so fucking typically, of all the people in the room, neither Rhysand nor Cassian are anywhere to be found.
Which means you’re dealing with this alone. Because nobody else will care to break this up.
You curse quietly and jump in just as Jonan goes to land a hit on Azriel’s jaw. He falters as you throw yourself between them as best as you can at the angle. It’s not great, but you manage to wedge an arm between them.
“Hey. Enough.” You snap, and it feels like all the times you’ve reprimanded the camp younglings. “Cut this out right now.”
Jonan scowls. And actually says, “He started it.”
It makes you never want to have sex with him again. Never have you been drier between your thighs.
“I don’t give a shit. It stops now.” You stare between them seriously, and then you’re firmly grasping Azriel’s arm. “Az, we’re leaving. Now.”
There’s a moment’s hesitation, like Azriel really, really does not want to give up the fight. But then he’s letting go of Jonan’s shirt, more or less dropping him to the floor.
“Fine by me.” Az fucking smirks at the male. “Enjoy the rest of your night.”
You don’t spare Jonan a single further look as Azriel grabs your hand and pulls you through the thralls of people, all disappointed at a fight not coming to fruition. But their attention is quickly stolen by something else, and you don’t look back as you and Az step out into the cold.
Az begins to walk as though the past minute never even happened. You’re quick to catch up to him and grab hold of his forearm.
“Hey.” Your breath clouds in front of your face in the cold night air. “What was that?”
Azriel shrugs. “It was nothing. He is nothing.”
“You—”
“It’s fucking freezing, Y/N. Can we just go?”
You stare back at him. The urge to pry more, demand an explanation, is a strong one. But it is freezing, and in this frame of mind, you’re not certain he’ll tell you anything, anyway. He’s in a strange mood — probably in anticipation of the upcoming training exercise. Perhaps unwisely, you decide to drop it.
“Go where?” You concede. The biting cold makes the decision to do so much easier.
“Dormitories. You can stay with me tonight.”
Dormitories is a very generous term for the limited accommodation that is offered to each training legion. Most of it sits unused, due to the majority of Illyrians preferring the harsh, toughening dwellings of tents and crumbling old houses in all extreme weathers. But a certain amount of small, draughty rooms are available, and Az tends to make use of his when the cottage begins to feel too crowded, and he needs a break from living on top of Rhys and Cass.
There’s no hammering droves of snow tonight, and you’ve patched up your boots enough to hopefully last you a little longer. A broad expanse of stars glimmers above you, making it a rather pleasant night for a stroll — or it would be, if not for the unavoidable presence of Azriel’s bad mood.
Your attempts at conversation are met with non-committal responses, and by the time you’re kicking through the peeling wooden door to the accommodation, you’re fucking exasperated.
Azriel can be very, very insufferable when he thinks himself into a foul mood.
You could go home, back to your father’s house — you certainly consider it as you follow Az into his cramped dwellings, but…you don’t know. You wouldn’t like to leave him like this. To walk away without seeing him crack a little smile. In nine years of friendship, you’ve never done so before. So you shut and lock the door behind you, and resign yourself to a very silent, very tense night.
You press your back against the door, watching as Azriel perches on the edge of the bed and removes his shoes. Through the walls, you hear the distinct sound of skin slapping against skin, and the building moans of a female close to climax. This miserable building is more often used as a place for a quick fuck than it is to actually sleep in.
But Az doesn’t seem to notice as he shrugs out of his clothing, quickly slipping on a pair of low-slung cotton sleeping trousers, and sprawls out across the mattress, wings fanning around him.
You’re not sure why you don’t move, at first. Or maybe you are.
Your gaze snags on the toned muscles of Azriel’s torso, and the smattering of dark hair that maps a line from beneath his bellybutton to what sits under his trousers. You’ve seen it countless times before, and yet you can’t stop staring.
Particularly when he stretches his arms above his head, and then drags a hand down his stomach. To him, it’s a subconscious act, but to you—
You can’t stop yourself zeroing in on his hand. The very hand that touched you and bathed you in a pleasure so stunning, so splintering, that you hadn’t dared to try and replicate it yourself since. Such inexperienced fingers had coaxed such expert sensations—
“Are you coming to bed?” Azriel’s voice drags you from your thoughts.
“…Right.” You clear your throat. “Yeah.”
“There’s a shirt for you in the armoire.”
You shuck off your clothes, digging out the tunic you often borrow from Az to sleep in. He barely spares you a glance, his eyes glued to the ceiling. You can’t help heaving a sigh as you pad over and slip beneath the blanket. The faelights wink out, and for a while, you both lie there in silence. It’s you who eventually breaks it.
“Are you going to tell me what that fight with Jonan was about?”
Az slings an arm above his head. “You were there. I’d hardly call it a fight.”
“No, I’d call it an overreaction.”
“Jonan’s an arrogant bastard and everyone knows it.”
He brooks no room for argument. And he’s not exactly wrong, either. You know Jonan gets himself into more brawls than the average person. But Az wasn’t exactly justified tonight.
But before you can think of a response, he says, quietly, “Sorry — if I ruined your night.”
You pause. And then roll onto your side, staring at his outline through the darkness. “You didn’t. I didn’t want to go to the party, anyway.”
There’s a tiny, soft snort. “Me neither.” He agrees. “But going along with Cassian’s ideas is the story of our lives.”
“That it is.”
Az says no more, does no more. And you…you hate it. Because it’s not simply that he’s sleepy and dozing off beside you. He’s just as awake as you are. And his mood is still heavy and tense.
You can’t stand it.
It’s perhaps against your better judgement that you inch closer to him, your mind already made up about how you might lift his spirits. It’s dangerous, because your arrangement has simply been about helping him, and he’s always been the instigator, knowing what he needs and when he needs it. Which he most certainly isn’t doing now.
But you would be helping him…in a way. And you can’t lie and say that it hasn’t bothered you, over the past two weeks, that you didn’t get to return the pleasure he gave you.
It would still be a learning experience. That’s what you tell yourself as you press against his side and drape your arm over his stomach.
Az pauses, but this isn’t unusual for the pair of you. You’ve cuddled like this plenty of times over the years — with your other friends, too. And so there’s no hesitation as he slides an arm beneath you and tugs you closer, his wing tucking you in.
You rest your head on his chest, and you murmur, “I don’t want you to go on the training exercise.”
You really, really don’t.
You always miss your friends when they’re sent away, but it seems…heavier, somehow, this time. Like there’s more between you to miss.
That…that is not a good thought to have.
You banish it from your mind rather than dwelling on it.
Az’s hand presses against your back. “I’ll be home in time for Solstice.”
You hear the unspoken promise in that statement; the one Azriel knows you need to hear. Because this isn’t just about simply missing his company.
Solstice is…hard for you, to say the least. Being holed up with your father, him drinking from the crack of dawn until he collapses in a chair by the fire. His unpredictable, volatile moods and tendency to pick at you over every tiny thing. It’s the time of year you rely on your friends the most, and you spend the entire day waiting for your father to pass out so you can sneak away and forget him for a while.
Azriel’s bare skin is so pleasantly warm, lulling you back to the present. You shelve your worries for the time being, press your cheek against his pectoral, and breathe in his frost-and-cedar scent. His wing drapes over you, cocooning the two of you in your own little world.
And there’s no better place than inside that world to ease some of Azriel’s tension. Bring the smile back to his lips.
“…Az?” You whisper, slowly gliding a hand over his stomach.
His body tenses beneath you. There’s a pause before he answers, “Yes?”
“What are you thinking about?”
“Nothing…” He clears his throat. “Nothing much. What are you thinking about?”
The question is an opening for you to stop this right here. You could return a similar, half-assed response, remove your hand from his stomach and go to sleep. Like any sensible, reasonable friend would do.
Or you could be honest.
You could tell Azriel that your close proximity has you thinking all about the magic of his fingers, the sensations he wrought from you. You could admit that it wouldn’t be the first time you’ve thought about it since it happened — not at all. You could tell him that you’re still a little stunned, because besides yourself, nobody has ever made you come that hard.
You could tell him how badly you want — need — to return the favour.
And never one to back down from a situation, however daunting, you do exactly that.
“I’m thinking…” you murmur, and your finger begins to just slightly trace lines over his stomach. Your touch is so light, and yet you feel his body react beneath you. “I’m thinking that there’s more I’d like to teach you about touching.”
A little breath escapes him. “Oh?”
“Mhm.” That finger of yours gets a little bolder, making bigger sweeps over his skin and dancing close to his waistband. “But this time, I want to touch you. You made me feel so good, Azriel. I want to make you feel good as well.”
“You…you don’t have to do that.”
Gods, you know you don’t. You know this situation has never been about him expecting anything from you. Just a friend helping a friend out. No big deal.
But who says you can’t both get something out of it?
“I know I don’t have to.” You answer him. Your hand stops its movements, and you stare up at him, your eyes accustomed enough to the dark to make out certain features. “And I won’t, if you don’t want me to. Do you want me to?”
A tiny, tiny little pause.
And then Azriel rasps, “Yes.”
It’s a guttural, gasping sound, and it’s so delicious that you want to swallow it.
You don’t hesitate in moving your hand up to his face. You angle it towards you. Slant your lips over his.
And you smile. There’s a mulled wine that Azriel far prefers drinking over the piss-poor ale that most males around here favour, and it’s not the first time you’ve tasted it on him. It’s pleasing to explore — the spices and berries and damp heat of his mouth a combination that coaxes you to slide your tongue between his lips.
Az seems pretty well comfortable with his kissing technique, now. He leans into it, not at all tentative, his tongue meeting the strokes of yours. And then he suddenly breaks away.
“I like—this.” He pants heavily, breath fanning your face. “I like doing this.”
The words make something glow inside you, because that is precisely what you want. This isn’t just about teaching him the technicalities of physical touch. It’s about liberating him from the barriers he’s built in his mind, and showing him how much he can enjoy it.
And your friend deserves that.
You plan to really show him.
You slide your hand over his hip and haul him closer, eliminating the tiny little gap that existed between your bodies. An act that makes him suck in a breath.
“If I do anything at all that you don’t like, you need to tell me, Az.” You stare at him. “Okay?”
He nods.
“I need your words. Swear it.”
“Gods, Y/N, I swear it.”
He kisses you this time.
He really does like doing that.
The kiss is hot and hungry, loitering on the precipice of being frenzied. Azriel’s hand slides to the back of your neck, his fingers kneading the skin there. A dim faelight blinks back to life, bathing the two of you in enough warm light to see each other. His tongue pushes past the seam of your lips.
But you don’t give him the chance to stroke at your mouth. There are a million other places you can think of kissing; a million other places you’re just as desperate to get your mouth on.
Your lips glide along Azriel’s jaw with the lightness of a breeze. He goes still, appearing to wait with bated breath to see what you’ll do next, and how it will feel. He’s never been kissed here before.
Nor at his neck. You kiss the skin gently, at first, and smile to yourself at the little breath that hitches in Az’s throat. Something told you he’d be amenable to neck kisses.
Indeed, he is, as you attach your lips to the column of his throat and suck.
It’s a soft ungh, this time, that escapes him. A noise of both surprise and delight. Perhaps he never before considered the sensitivity of the neck, how enjoyable it might be to be kissed there. It’s one of many things you want to be the one to teach him.
You suck and lave at the area until his stomach is caving beneath your hand, and then you’re moving on, dragging your mouth over his collarbone. Down to his pectoral.
His skin is hot but its taste is cold — cold, like his scent. Frost and snow, icy starlight, the whipping winds and thrill of flying. Gods, it’s all delicious, and you close your mouth over his nipple, desperate to taste more.
Azriel starts, his back arching just a little. Your eyes flit up to his as your tongue teases the peaked flesh.
“This okay?” You check, allowing your teeth to graze just a little.
“Yes.” Az breathes. “I never considered that that might feel good for—for a male, too.”
You smile, repeating the action, fastening your lips totally around the nipple and giving a gentle suck. It earns you another quiet sound in response.
But you don’t want quiet. You want to make your friend feel so good that he can’t keep a lid on those sounds. The muscles of his stomach are quivering under your palm, and you decide it’s unfair to make him wait any longer.
So as your tongue circles his nipple, you slip your fingers beneath the waistband of his trousers.
You’re careful, even though you know the sharp intake of breath is a positive one. Nobody’s hands but his own have ever ventured here. You want him to be aware of every touch, every feeling.
Your fingers skate over the dusting of fine, coarse hair. And lower. And then your hand is on his cock.
The mere weight of your touch drags a breathless little noise from Azriel’s throat. And you pause.
Azriel is big, even by Illyrian standards.
From touch alone, you can feel its length, its thickness. You’re not entirely sure you can fit him in your hand, let alone anywhere else.
But gods are you willing to try.
You take your time exploring every detail, starting at the smooth, swollen head — already leaking a droplet of moisture —and circling its rim with your finger. Azriel’s hips jerk, and you smile, removing your mouth from his nipple to kiss further down,
“Still doing okay?” You ask, coasting your lips over his ribs. The pads of your fingers stroke over the head of his cock slowly, casually.
But there is absolutely nothing casual about Az’s voice as he grounds out, “I’m doing great.”
“Want me to keep going—”
“Please.” The word escapes his mouth before you can even finish the sentence. “Please.”
You smile, and you scoot lower down his body, giving yourself the perfect angle to explore the muscles of his abdomen with your mouth, your tongue.
It allows you to feel the exact moment you glide your palm down the length of Azriel’s cock, following the long, jagged vein.
Gods, it feels like it goes on forever.
The skin is velvety, smoothing over every vein, every bump and ridge. You explore it all, as much for your enjoyment as for his. You can’t imagine what it must be like to feel it sliding in and out of you, hitting a spot so deep inside you that you’d have to bite the mattress—
A thought you should not be having. It isn’t going that far.
And there’s a twinge of disappointment at that fact. But now isn’t the time for disappointment.
You trace the length of Azriel’s cock all the way down to his balls, and he’s trembling beneath you. You tug at his trousers, whisper, “Can I pull these down?”
It might be silly to ask, given that your hand is already well beneath the fabric. But you want him to have a choice in everything.
So when he gives a firm nod and lifts his hips for you, you tug the cotton trousers down, peeling them easily from his hips.
Azriel’s cock springs up. And it…it might just be the most perfect cock you’ve ever seen.
You damn near moan at the sight of it.
But before the sound can escape you, you smother it by pressing your lips to Azriel’s stomach. You kiss the skin, lap at it, graze your teeth over it. And your hand returns to his hardened length.
Finally — fucking finally — you wrap your hand around him.
Azriel makes a gasping sound at your touch, his hips canting up into your hand. He’s so responsive to your touch that you have to clench your thighs together to ignore your own arousal. This is about him. Entirely about him.
It’s about him as you slowly begin to pump his shaft, peppering kisses down and down until you’re at his hip. It’s about him as you squeeze gently and hear the hitching of his breath.
“So responsive,” you murmur, pressing a kiss to his hip.
“Is that—gods—” He hisses between his teeth as you pump a little faster, “—is that a good thing?”
“Very good, Az. I want to know that you’re enjoying it.”
“I am. Fuck, Y/N, I am.”
“Good.” Another kiss lands on his skin. “You’re doing so good for me.”
The praise drags another noise from the depths of his throat — the loudest he’s made so far. You don’t know whether he’s simply gaining in confidence, or whether he’s losing control. Maybe both. Hopefully both.
And you think you might lose control, too. Watch with rapt fascination as the head of his cock leaks, and it’s swelling, thickening in your hand, and you know he’s not going to last much longer.
You really want to taste him before he falls off the edge.
“Holy gods,” Azriel pants, his teeth biting into his lower lip. “Y/N, I don’t think I’m gonna last.”
“Don’t fight it.” You lick your lips. “Can I put my mouth on you?”
The question makes him fucking groan, and he chokes out an affirmative response, his cock rutting into your hand. You know he’s close, and you want him to finish. Preferably on your tongue.
And when you slide your mouth onto his cock, you know that’s going to happen.
You hollow your cheeks, sucking him into your mouth as much as you can.
Azriel shouts, his head falling back, eyes screwed shut. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!”
You suck on him, tongue tracing the length of the vein that’s beginning to throb. He doesn’t seem to be aware of the way he slides his hands into your hair, his hips rolling.
“Y/N,” he pants, your name languid and slurred on his tongue, “m’sofuckingclose.”
You pull your mouth off of him long enough to say, “Look at me. Watch me while you come.”
And then you’re sucking him again, your hand wrapped around the base of his length. You pump and lick him and bob your head in time to Az’s hips canting against you, and you think the sounds he’s making may just be the most beautiful ones you’ve ever heard.
And he watches you so closely, his brow furrowed, his lips parted, his chest heaving. Your gaze collides with his, and you’re hollowing your cheeks and giving a particularly harsh suck.
“Oh, gods, Y/N, fuck!”
Azriel spills into your mouth, shot after shot coating your tongue. You take it all, swallowing greedily, savouring the saltiness and the hint of something else that is just Azriel. It seems endless, and so do his groans, his constant string of curses, the jerking of his hips and the trembles wracking through his entire body.
You damn well suck him dry. Not a drop is spared.
As you finally pull him out of your mouth, wipe your lips with the back of your hand and glimpse his shaking, sated form, you know you’re committing the sight to memory. For when this is all over.
He’s…he’s a vision. Head still tipped back. Stomach and chest still heavily rising and falling. Pleasure still pinching his face. His hands are fisted tightly in the bedsheets.
You leave him to come down from his high. He’s still panting a little when his head lolls forward, and his eyes meet yours.
“That was—” His voice cracks a little. “God’s, Y/N, I don’t have words.”
“It’s okay.” You press a gentle kiss to his stomach, tucking his sensitive length back into his trousers. “Words aren’t necessary. You did so well.”
His arms are suddenly around you, tugging you up and against him, your body slanted slightly over his. All the earlier tension from the night is gone, and it’s just you and him, your love and friendship, your unbreakable bond.
Az holds you tightly, burying into your hair. And you think that this was maybe more than just…you returning a favour. You think this might have been a soul-shifting moment for him. Something that released him from the invisible bindings that have held him back for so long.
And it saddens you a little to think that that might be the end of it. That you’ve done all you can do.
But still, you’re honoured to have helped him this far. To have guided him through it.
“Thank you.” He whispers, dropping a kiss onto the top of your head. He’s still trembling, and he tucks himself in tight as if he’s worried he might break. “Just…thank you.”
You don’t quite know what to say. It feels a little…final, and you don’t like that.
So you simply nestle into his side, and you repeat your earlier truth, your voice a whisper. “I don’t want you to go on the training exercise.”
Because you know you’ll miss him more than you ever have before. It’s going to be far harder this time.
What, exactly, that means…you can’t bear to think of it right now.
And there’s no need to as Az holds you tightly, kisses your head again.
“I’ll be there with you on Solstice.” He says. “I promise.”
azriel tags: @hanasakr @positivewitch @ruler-of-hades @brekkershadowsinger @nightscourtt @imperfect0angel @luna-1-3-5 @hyacinthoideshispanica @lucyysthings @lahoete @littlemoonash @blacksstarrynight @azriels-mate123 @ghostly-poetic @frieddesigninspiringquotesslime @a-frog-with-a-laptop @illyriansimp @morrie-rose @passingthroughfireandshadow @illyrian-dreamer @azrielsbabyg @96jnie @mich0731 @mulansaucey @truthtellerfanclub @acourtofbooksandmagic @insightsonmylife @basicbittywitty @curbside-cyanide @acourtofchaosandmess @123345566 @starrynights-frostbites @eos-princess @thesillyyogourt @ona-raising-07-l @acediahamartia @dontfollowmepleaseitsannoying @polli05927 @asdfjklbooks @azriel-luvr @amysangel @humanpersonlasttimeichecked @wildflowernightmere @audie-writes @aaronwarnerswifereal @starxqt @lulufairbank @laurzwrites @livelaughlovenestaarcheron @girlwith-thecinder-blockgarden
#azriel#azriel x reader#azriel shadowsinger#shadowsinger x reader#azriel acotar#azriel x you#azriel fic#acotar#a court of thorns and roses#acotar fandom#acotar x reader#acotar writing#acotar fanfic#acotar headcanon#acotar smut#acotar series#azriel fanfiction#azriel shadowsinger x reader#azriel spymaster#azriel fanfic#reader insert#Cassian#Rhysand#Illyrians
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always innocent in red
#fe camilla#fe14#i need a tag for this au FKSJDFH#i THINK the fic title is gonna be#cherubs and death's head#so i'll go with that#i'll also tag it as#fates vintage au#but that'll be for things that aren't necessarily from cherubs too#i keep cycling which au is stuck in my brain. when will i make fanart for my actual ongoing fics dkfjsdkfhsd#dots draws#scheduled
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