#Called vermicious knids?

[somesecretpie]

[shiveringfrogspawn]

From what I remember Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator was basically an episode of Doctor Who??

The Great Glass Elevator (which I am hereforth referring to as the GGG because I refuse to type that out every single time) was basically a see-through TARDIS. It had loads of buttons all over the walls, some of which made it go different directions/speeds, and some of which changed conditions inside (turned gravity on/off, etc.). I cannot remember whether or not it was bigger on the inside because I read this when I was eleven.

In the beginning they travel in time because, long story short, Charlie’s Grandma Georgina takes too many youth pills and ages herself back to before she was born. They have to travel in time to get her back from being ‘a minus’ before she disappears. They end up in a smoky, dark place full of monsters from which they have to rescue her and take her to the real world.

There is a hotel in a space ship for very rich people (Voyage of the Damned: Christmas special 2007, End of the World: S1 E2) that Willy Wonka visits with Charlie & fam later on that’s really nice yet FULL of these aliens called Vermicious Knids that look like giant, flesh-covered eggs balanced on the pointy end (which feels very much like an RTD-era monster if you ask me).

Willy Wonka is similar to the Doctor, with his crazy inventions and unbelievable genius. He fights the Vermicious Knids when they try to get inside the GGG to kill them. He basically adopts Charlie (as the Doctor does with companions), and helps the rest of his family to lift themselves out of poverty.

He is friends with ‘aliens’ (the Oompa-Loompas) and gets along just fine with all manner of creatures, travels extensively, and nobody knows exactly how old he is (remember, kids: in the book he is not a youthful Johnny Depp but a sprightly old man!). There is nobody quite like him. He dresses strangely and is generally agreed to be eccentric yet sweet, however he has a dark and dangerous side which can emerge. He doesn’t have very good social skills, but he largely gets along with the people of the town.

Anyway this is a very long post about a book I hardly remember, but all this to say: I want RTD to get Timothée Chalamet’s Willy Wonka into s15 so I can see him be devoured by a ginormous, carnivorous flesh-egg.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

[mlarayoukai]

Wildest thing is about the whole thing, the Second Willy Wonka book actually does have more stereotypical villains, the entire vacuum of space is full of shapeshifting omnicidal carnivorous aliens called Vermicious Knid, capable of moving at 11.5 miles per second, and every planet in the solar system used to be crawling with life but they killed and ate all of them, and only haven’t invaded earth because they can’t safely penetrate it’s atmosphere: “Wonka also tells Charlie that shooting stars are in fact Knids who are burning to death, due to their stupidity or boldness in attempting to attack Earth despite the well-known warnings”

Im not reading all this

[ender-sheep]

i can’t believe we got willy wonka musical backstory movie before a movie of the actual insane sequel like they go to space the grandparents get turned negative years old and there’s shapeshifting creatures called vermicious knids and you’re telling me that’s not movie worthy?

[princesssarisa]

Character ask: Grandpa Joe (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory)

Requested by @comma-after-dearest

Favorite thing about them: The wonderful stories he tells that reveal the history of Willy Wonka's chocolate factory, and his sheer joy when Charlie finds the Golden Ticket that propels him out of bed and gives him a new lease on life.

Least favorite thing about them: That in the 1971 film, he convinces Charlie to try the Fizzy Lifting Drinks, which nearly gets them both killed and leads to Wonka (seemingly) denying Charlie his lifetime supply of candy, and in response to the latter, he urges Charlie to sell the Everlasting Gobstopper to Slugworth.

Three things I have in common with them:

*I love chocolate.

*I love to tell stories.

*I sometimes lounge on my bed too much, but I have bursts of physical energy when I get excited.

Three things I don't have in common with them:

*I'm not a grandparent.

*I'm not 96 years old.

*I'm not married.

Favorite line:

The long stories he tells about Wonka's history.

And from the 1971 film, about Veruca Salt:

"If she's a lady, I'm a Vermicious Knid!"

brOTP: His son Mr. Bucket, his daughter-in-law Mrs. Bucket, his in-laws and bedmates Grandpa George and Grandma Georgina, and above all, his grandson Charlie.

OTP: Grandma Josephine.

nOTP: Charlie.

Random headcanon: Thanks to the revitalizing power of Charlie's good fortune and going to live at the chocolate factory, he'll live to the age of 122, the oldest age that any known (non-Biblical) person has reached in real life. This means that at the end of the book, he has 26 more years to go, and they'll be full and happy ones.

Unpopular opinion: The trend of hating him and calling him "the real villain" is ridiculous. Maybe it's just a joke that no one really agrees with, but it's become so widespread online that I think older fans who meant it as a joke have taught younger fans to sincerely believe it. He's not "lazy" or "faking disability" at the beginning of the story. He's 96 and 1/2 years old, and he's genuinely weak and bedridden, until the sheer joy of Charlie finding the Golden Ticket miraculously revitalizes him. No, it's not realistic, but this is a fantasy story. If you can believe in Oompa-Loompas, chocolate mixed by waterfall, chewing gum that turns a girl into a giant blueberry, etc., then you should be able to believe that sheer joy can cure a bedridden old man of his feebleness and make him leap up and dance. As for the Grandpa Joe of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, specifically, he is a flawed man. The Fizzy Lifting Drinks incident is bad: it's supposed to be bad. But "flawed" doesn't equal "unredeemable jerk."

Song I associate with them:

"I've Got a Golden Ticket"

Favorite picture of them:

These assorted illustrations:

Jack Albertson in the 1971 film:

David Kelly in the 2005 film:

[laineysbucketlist]

This book is actually intense it’s about these aliens called the Vermicious Knids (the k isn’t silent) who hunted the aliens on the moon and Venus to extinction, and now they’re coming to Earth

“Two holes are better than one.”

-Willie Wonka

[dungeonqueering]

A world renowned test kitchen existed in Waterdeep. It did tours, tastings, live audiences, shows, and even had a restaurant and gift shop located inside. It was far more than a test kitchen, it was an entire campus dedicated to culinary ingenuity. Then, mysteriously, it shut down ten years ago. Guards were paid to patrol the yard, and the gates were locked. Then, three years later, it just as mysteriously reopened. The gates unlocked to commerce only, and the doors to the buildings themselves never seemed to open.. The guards continued to circle, but the smoke stacks and other outward signs of operation came to life, and wondrous and horrifying smells came to life from within. Merely a month ago, the factory began selling a sealed anniversary edition of their very first cookbook. Some copies contain an extra recipe, never before seen. Cooks who can find this recipe are promised a tour of the Test Kitchen.

They are each allowed to bring two assistants if they so choose, be they sous chef or family or server etc. Each chef represents one of the 7 deadly sins, with Okizar representing Pride and Sloan representing Wrath.

The seven are ushered into the campus yard where they are told to wait for Sylvia

The next room is locked, and requires a combination (99-44-100% Pure)

This leads to the legal room, wherein all the Chefs must sign a contract that has comically small print to be allowed to proceed.

To proceed to the next room, everyone crams into a small room with only one door. Sloan makes her way around the entire room, and then back to the original door, leading everyone into the next room.

The Ingredient Room

A room full of various ingredients growing in fantastic ways. Meatless Meat from Meat Trees, Bushes that grow dozens of spices all at once, Giant mushrooms, plants that have bechamel as sap, etc.

We first See some Svirfneblin, working to harvest “Meatless Meat” from the “Meat Trees”

They are from a faraway and underground land full of desolate wastes and fierce beasts, such as the Wangdoodle, hornswogglers, snozzwangers, and the rotten and vermicious knids.

Gluttony Boi is eaten by a carnivorous plant.

The Svirfneblin start acting fearful. Sloan looks concerned. A pack of feral Svirfneblin enter the room. Combat!

Sloantanic (Boat)

The boat goes absurdly and magically fast through a tunnel that seems to be ripping through the fabric of reality. It’s all an illusion, of course. DC 13 Int Saving throw, or be Frightened for 10 minutes. Subsequent saving throws deal 1d6 psychic damage if already frightened.

See: Boat Song

If anyone says “Stop the Boat” they are suddenly all at their destination with no seeming decrease in momentum, as if they had been there for some time.

Test Kitchen 

The key to get in is two keys hooked via a small gear system to a single key. Thus, when you turn the one large key, it turns two smaller keys.

There are vats, cauldrons, ovens, stoves, and all manner of hyper-specific kitchen gadget emitting strange sounds, lights, and smells. Eggs being cooked in tubes, pots stirring themselves, pipes emitting scented smoke, etc.

The Svirfneblin are experimenting and trying out various recipes. The room smells chaotic.

Players are offered a chance to taste anything in the room. Roll 1d6. On a 5-6, they heal 2d6 HP. On a 3-4, roll on the wild magic table. On a 1-2, DC 15 Con save or be poisoned.

Sloan shows off a covered machine that has spinning and whirring parts. It produces an untested Scotch Egg, made from MyStErIoUs InGrEdIeNtS. Pride person eats it despite protestations, and it causes them to turn into a griffin. They have to be taken to be de-feathered and are disqualified.

There is a small room just off of this room where the “Ultimate Romantic Dinner” is being developed. The players may make suggestions. The Lust person, trying to seduce Sloan (so they can get the fortune via marriage) invites Sloan to try the romantic dinner. Sloan agrees. Roasted Lamb crusted in Fey mustard, served with grilled shadowgreens and potatoes grown with dragon fertilizer. Causes Madness, which doesnt affect Sloan as she is already mad. 

Lickable Wallpaper

The Bolognese tastes like Bolognese! The Pasta Salad tastes like Pasta Salad! The Mashed potatoes, remarkably, taste like fried brussel sprouts. We’re still working out the kinks.

Wild Magic Beer

We fight a wangdoodle, Hornswoggler, snozz wanger, and/or Rotten vermicious Knid

But only AFTER anyone who has tried this new fizzy beer has done so. Roll once on Wild Magic table each.

Envy tries to sabotage the brewing vat, but falls in.

Geese What Lay Golden Eggs

All recipes that involve eggs get them from the hatchery. There are five geese that lay golden eggs. They are delicious. Sloan offers everyone an omelette, which turns out to be those fancy japanese ones that you cut and they fall over your inner toppings. Everyone who partakes heals 2d6.

Bubble Room!

A fun room with flavored bubbles. The machine that creates them releases them too much, and visibility is heavily reduced. Another fight ensues, with visibility only out to ten feet. Greed Person is found slain after the bubbles disappear.

The Itis Room

What goes better with a nice meal than a post-meal nap? There are several beds where everyone can take a short rest. 

Sloth lady lays on an experimental bed despite protestations and is petrified.

Control Tower

Final Fight with Sloan and any of the critters we’ve seen before. Sloan makes it clear that she wants to lose, but she cannot be destroyed until someone else controls and owns her test kitchen. It must be earned by striking the killing blow with a special trident that is just a comically large fork.

Slaying her with that fork after having bested her reverts ownership of the Test Kitchen to you. The curse is lifted and you may do as you wish with the campus.

Vault

Roll 4 x Hoard

Silvia Sloan is a tall Half-Elf cursed to have a bond with her Test Kitchen until her death. She can only be slain with the trident she uses as a walking stick, which is a comically large fork. She has gaunt features and tan skin, as well as raven-black hair and hazel eyes. She wears a Yellow-Green and Red-Purple Chef’s Coat, and matching hat. Her movements are broad and eccentric. Sloan wants to be defeated, but feels the need to give ownership of the Test Kitchen over to someone first. She freely gives the Fork over to the party before their final fight, which is the final test to make sure they can keep the kitchen safe after her death. Ideally give her an emotional final request before the party double taps her. The fork is a +1 Trident that grants the wielder proficiency in Tridents and, if the wielder is a cook, grants them the ability to both attack and deliver a morsel to an enemy on the same turn. This can be done twice before a long rest.

Gluttony is a rotund orc man with a jovial attitude named Imsh. Wants to try all the flavors.

Lust is a Tiefling celebrity Chef named Palette. They/Them. Wants to marry Sloan for her fortunes.

Greed is a Halfling man who is literally just Skinner from Ratatouille. Named Merric.

Sloth is a High Elven woman who specializes in slow-cooking over extended periods of time. Very slow personality. Named Shanairra.

Envy is a Human Man named Ivor. Jealous of Sloan’s success.

Pride is represented by one of the Player Characters, and Silvia represents Wrath. You may need to adjust sins based on your players.

Raw Ass Lines for Sloan to say

“Is it my soul that calls upon my name?”

“Never Between Friends”

“You should never never doubt what nobody is sure about.”

“All my dreams become realities and some of my realities become dreams.”

“Hold your breath, make a wish, count to three.”

“No other Test Kitchen mixes their mother sauces by waterfall. It’s the only way if you want to get it just right.”

“The suspense is terrible.”

“No touching, no tasting, no telling.”

“Time is a precious thing, never waste it. *Throws clock into a vat*”

“Adding shoes gives it a little kick.”

“We are the music makers and we are the dreamers of dreams.”

“A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.”

“Adieu. Parting is such sweet sorrow.”

“You’re an Inhuman monster!”

“So shines a good deed in a weary world.”

BOAT SONG:

Round the world and home again

That's the sailor's way

Faster faster, faster faster

There's no earthly way of knowing

Which direction we are going

There's no knowing where we're rowing

Or which way the river's flowing

Is it raining, is it snowing

Is a hurricane a-blowing

Not a speck of light is showing

So the danger must be growing

Are the fires of Hell a-glowing

Is the grisly reaper mowing

Yes, the danger must be growing

For the rowers keep on rowing

And they're certainly not showing

Any signs that they are slowing

The actual monsters used can be tailored to the appropriate CR of your party. Whenever they try to roll to identify the monsters, they fail to as these things don’t actually exist, or at least shouldn’t. A high roll simply reveals that these monsters are some that no one that you’ve heard of has ever seen them before.

For me, I’m using the stats for an Ankheg, a Basilisk, a Dryad, and a Quasit. As well as, obviously, a Svirfneblin (Deep Gnome), and a Level 5 Half-Elf Cook.

[tomeandflickcorner]

Bonus- Star Wars Re-Watch notes

As a follow-up to the Star Wars reviews I’ve been posting for the past few weeks, I decided to post the notes I made during my re-watches for the movies.  The only movie that isn’t included among these notes will be the ones for Solo.  That’s because I wasn’t able to take notes in the thearte.

Hope you enjoy

Phantom Menace notes-

• I wonder if they’ll ever change the logo to 21st Century Fox. • So this all started with the debate on taxation for intergalactic trades?  Why does this remind me of how the revolutionary war started? • Hah.  Female C3PO. • Why is that catchphrase mostly associated with Han when everybody has had a chance saying it? • If they didn’t want them to be recognized as Jedi, why wouldn’t they go in disguise? • RIP, random unnamed people. • Force Power = Holding your breath for an extended period of time? • Hate to break it to you, Amadala, but I don’t think they’re interested in a peaceful negotiations. • Hi, Jar Jar! • Love that line, Qui Gon. • So, they just happen to be carrying underwater breathing apparatuses?   • If it’s that easy to enter the bubble houses, do many fishes accidently end up in there? • Oh, I love the elaborate fauna that exists in this world! • Did he just knock Jar Jar out with the Force? • How did the Queen manage to change clothes so quickly with the invasion going on? • I’m no expert, but I don’t think a contract is legal if it’s signed under duress. • Haha.  I gotta admit, I love that droid’s sass. • Surprised no one got grazed with all the gunfire. • Hi, R2! • That was a lucky shot. • R2 was catty even back then. • Of course everyone was blown up except for R2. • Lesser of two evils, I guess.  Reminds me of that scene from Avatar: The Last Airbender.  When Zuko and Iroh were trying to decide if they should risk getting caught by Azula or venture into the Earth Kindgom where they were considered enemies. • What’s Darth Maul’s story? • So, what’s the relationship between Naboo people and the Gungans?  Do they normally remain segregated? • Why would R2 be going with them? • Has Anakin never seen a young girl before? • So Watto’s species is naturally smarter than Gungans? • Why would Jar Jar think that a good idea?  Do they not have merchants in Gungan City? • Wait.  So….they can’t send transmissions, but they can receive them without an issue? • How can a protocol droid help his mom?  Especially since she’s a slave? • Also, how would Anakin have the time and resources to build one? • Revenge for what? • So you’re saying only Force-sensitive people can participate in Pod Races?  Or are humans usually less agile than other species? • Hang on.  So Watto enters this kid into the Pod Races, but he won’t let him build his own racer? • Great, a Jesus kid. • So, only Padmé cares enough to help free him from the jet engine thing? • How’d he get cut again? • Ah, the Midichlorian thing. • So, has Darth Maul been visiting every planet systematically?   • So, who’s Ani’s friend?  Why would he have come to the race when the other kids didn’t? • So. I’m guessing the main languages of Tattoine are Huttanese and Basic? • Hmm.  Are those flags representing the racers’ native planets? • What a dirty cheater!  He’s that threatened by this one kid, or is doing that to all the other racers? • Who’s the other Hutt with Jabba?   • And now we commence with the boredom. • Wait, was that Willow? • The Tuskin Raiders must be pretty bored to be waiting around to shoot at the racers. • What exactly is the route for this race? • Did he just Force Command that loose bit of pipe? • Well, that backfired on Sebulba. • JAWAS! • The Hutts must be pretty scary, if the threat of going to them is enough to get Watto to relent. • What kind of undershirt is that, anyway?  It looks like it’s made of sticks • Why were they running?  Did they know they were being chased? • Another small hint of who Padmé really is. • Why would she need to remember him?  Was it specifically stated they’d be parting ways? • You’ve known each other for three days.  Why would they care for each other already? • Did Jar Jar just comment on the Queen’s attractiveness? • Another costume change? • I like Mace Windu. There’s just something about him that puts you at ease. • He’s not as awesome as Yoda, though. • Is that Padmé or the decoy? • How old do you have to be to become a Jedi?  Do you have to be a toddler? • Never understood how fear could lead to anger.  Like, what if you’re afraid of leeches?  Or Vermicious Knids?  How would that fear lead to anger? • Awww.  They should have gone with Bali of Alderaan.  He’s a cool guy! • So, is Palpatine a native of Naboo? • Oh, is this where Obi Wan got the whole Point of View thing from? • How many times does this Queen change outfits? • What a twist! • So, the Gungans are basically canon fodder? • Is that the same technology they used to make the bubble city?  What exactly keeps the blaster fire out but lets actual people in? • Is that really the best hiding place Anakin could find? • Yeah, ‘I’ll try to override it,’ he says.  While reaching for the helmet.  He’s totally doing this on purpose. • Who keeps designing these places with walkways over gaping pits?  And not including railings?  Seems like a pretty stupid architectural flaw. • Yeah, but you can still go back to the planet while staying in the cockpit.  Just saying • What’s the purpose of these timed forcefields in this room?  Why were they installed in the first place? • What’s that supposed to do, dude? • Yeah, that’s a death.   • Why do we never see blood in these movies? • And of course the camera focuses on him when that question is asked. • What exactly is that static light ball?

Attack of the Clones Notes-

• So, basically, a bunch of planets are declaring themselves independent from the Republic?  Why does this sound like how America declared independence from Britain? • Hi, R2! • Wow!  Spoke too soon, dude! • Ah, so Padmé is still using decoys.  RIP, Decoy Lady. • Hmm.  Is Yoda suspicious of him?  That look he gave Palpatine just now… • So it’s been ten years since Phantom Menace? • Oh, Anakin.  Stop flirting with her. • Um…it might not be a smart idea to have this argument in front of them?  Just a suggestion. • Anakin’s attraction to Padmé seems very creepy to me.  He met her when he was nine.  And they haven’t spoken since then.  That’s not love, that’s obsession. • How’s that for a wake-up call? • Haha.  ‘You’ll be the death of me.’  Nice foreshadowing, movie. • The Death Sticks scene. Classic. • Yeah, Jedi Masters.  I respect you and all.  But it’s probably a bad idea to send the hormonal 19 year old to act as bodyguard to his crush. • Shut up, Anakin.  You could use a healthy dose of humility. • You’re not grown up!  You’re 19 years old! Talk to me in 10 more years. • So, what’s the story behind Obi-Wan’s friendship with this Dax character? • Wait.  If Droids could think?  Is Obi-Wan racist against Droids? • Was that a sex joke? • Well, aren’t we overly confident, Librarian Lady? • Wow.  Seems like everyone is racist against Droids. • Yoda, I love you. • So they really needed a kid to point out that the information about this planet was erased from the archives?  That doesn’t say much for the adults in the Jedi order. • So on Naboo, the Queen is more of a president? Serving a few terms and then stepping down to allow a new ruler step in? • Is this the new Queen of Naboo? • Oh, Anakin.  Shut up.  You’re kinda unlikable. • That’s right, Obi-Wan.  Play along.  Don’t let them know you’re completely in the dark. • Padmé, how can you be seriously charmed by him?  He’s being really creepy. • Ah.  A bounty hunter is here.  And you’re looking for a bounty hunter.  Coincidence? • Suppose it shouldn’t be surprising that these clones look like Stormtroopers? • Are they really swapping first kiss stories? • You’re talking about a dictatorship.   • And Padmé is on the same page as me. • PADMÉ!  THE WARNING BELLS AREN’T GOING OFF IN YOUR HEAD AFTER THAT REMARK?!  HOW TIGHT IS THAT BRAID OF YOURS?  I THINK IT’S CUTTING OFF THE BLOODFLOW TO YOUR BRAIN! • Yep.  There’s the bounty hunter’s armor. • Am I supposed to ship these two?  Cause I really don’t. • So. This order was made ten years ago.  Right after the end of the last movie, perhaps? • You’re telling me that Anakin never was allowed to visit his mother at all in the past 10 years?  I know Jedi mandate means you have to let go of your past, but come on. • Hello again, Watto. • Saturn Planet!  Saturn is my favorite planet. • Baby Boba Fett is a very violent child.  Laughing when he thinks his father just killed a Jedi. • Who finished building C3-PO? • Ah.  Young Owen and Beru.   • Why exactly would Tuskin Raiders abduct a woman?  For what purpose? • Padmé is still changing her wardrobe in every single scene.  Where does she get all her clothes?  Does she have a team of seamstresses following her everywhere and making these things for her? • Cameo of the Jawas. • So these are the Separatists. • Oh, of course she doesn’t die until right after Anakin gets there. • Ooooh.  Darth Vader theme. • Anakin, everything must die someday.  It’s the natural order of things. • Sooo…..no concern over how he just confessed to committing genocide, Padmé? • Who do the other two graves belong to? • So it’s Padmé’s fault Anakin is defying the Jedi Council. • So Count Duku was the Jedi who taught Qui-Gon? • Well, the Jedi didn’t sense Darth Maul before he appeared before them.  So it’s not that impossible that Darth Sidious eluded detection, too.  Just saying. • So, what does Yoda think about Palpatine getting these supreme powers? • At least the décor for this epic battle scene makes sense.  They’re in a robot manufacturing factory. • R2 can fly now?  When did that become a thing? • How do you know R2 is always getting into trouble, 3PO?  You’ve spent next to no amount of time with him outside of Tatooine. • You cut that a little close, R2. • Gotta admit.  First time I saw this movie, I thought this was going to be how Anakin lost his hand. • Wow.  So, we’re about to die.  Now will be the perfect time to admit I’ve been falling in love with your creepy, obsessive personality. • Obi-Wan’s sass is delightful. • Oh, I LOVE the creatures in this world!  And I really want a pet Nexu. • Smart move, Padmé. • Another Force Power- the ability to tame animals.  Awesome. • Mace Windu is awesome. • Ouch!  Yeah, that’ll leave a mark! • 3PO really is pointless. • Perfect timing, Yoda.  You’re the best. • Um… Is Daddy Bounty Hunter’s head still inside his helmet?  Baby Boba Fett is going to have quite the job scrubbing the blood off the interior • Death Star blueprints! • Does Yoda sense something? • You kinda asked for that, Anakin.  Only fools rush in. • Why do they never bleed when they lose a limb? • YEAH!  GO YODA! • So Yoda taught Dooku, who taught Qui-Gon, who taught Obi-Wan. • And Dooku escapes, despite everyone’s best efforts. • Imperial March theme! • Still don’t get why Padme fell for this creep.

Clone Wars notes-

• Ha!  Text crawl! • Oh, no text crawl • What is this?  A documentary announcer? • Jabba the Hutt has a son? • Why is it always Obi-Wan and Anakin?  Oh, right- they’re the main characters. • What was it Mace Windu said about Jedi?  That they were keepers of the peace and not soldiers?  That’s sure changed.  Obi-Wan is a general now. • Wait.  Did Obi-Wan say he got a new Padawan?  I thought you could only have one Padawan at a time.  That’s what they said in Phantom Menace. Isn’t Anakin still Obi-Wan’s Padawan? • Wait, she’s Anakin’s Padawan?  How?  I thought only Jedi Masters could train Padawans.  Since when is Anakin a Jedi Master? • How old is Ahsoka Tano supposed to be?  Anakin is saying she’s too young to be a Padawan.  But he was nine when he started training under Obi-Wan. • Jedi don’t run?  That seems like a dumb rule? • Oh, Obi-Wan.  You’re kinda extra, aren’t you? • How does it feel to deal with such an impulsive, headstrong Padawan, Anakin?  Now you know how Obi-Wan felt. • I just noticed.  Since when does Anakin have a purple lightsaber?  Yeah, his lightsaber broke in Attack of the Clones, but….didn’t he have a blue one in Revenge of the Sith? • And Anakin is still a jerk. • Does Anakin have a grudge against the Hutts?  Considering he lived on Tatooine…. • Wow.  That’s brutal! • Hmm...  I kinda like this background music. • Aw, a Pink Astromech droid with R2?  I ship it! • Too bad you never learned the lesson about humility, Anakin. • Is the protocol Droid Jabba’s utilizing the one we saw being ripped apart in Return of the Jedi? • So who’s this lady? • We still have an hour left?  What more is there to say?  They found the Baby Hutt. • Oh, that’s a diabolical move, Dooku.  Framing the Jedi for the son’s kidnapping. • Does Baby Hutt speak yet?  If so, he’d be able to set the record straight to his father. • Wilhelm Scream! • Why does he call her Snips?  I think I missed the reasoning for that nickname. • Props to this guy.   That was a brave move. • Do they know Mystery Lady? • Captain Rex is pretty cool. • I guess Baby Hutt physiological system isn’t compatible to this planet.  Is that why he’s sick? • Seriously, who is this Vestris person? • Okay, I know the Soldier Droids are the bad guys, but they’re hilarious. • RIP to those guys. • Well, that some getaway. • Wow, she’d make a good babysitter. • Ohhhh.  He was remembering how the Tuskin Raiders killed Shmi, wasn’t he? • Wow.  So you’re claiming that Baby Hutt is dead now? You’re gonna look mighty silly when he shows up alive and well. • Oh, hi, Padmé.  I didn’t think you’d appear in this movie. • Did R2 complain like that the first time he went to Tatooine?  Just saying, he’s been there twice before.  By now, you’d think he’d be used to it. • Wow!  They’re playing a different song? • Hey, who’s this voice actor?  He sounds familiar. • Well, that didn’t accomplish anything. • Oh, don’t get Anakin started on sand, Ahsoka. • Ah, maybe that scene wasn’t so pointless. • Oh.  Uncle Hutt is helping Dooku.  Now it makes sense. • How are you going to get out of this one, Padmé? • Hehe.  I like Baby Hutt. • Ah.  So 3PO now hangs around with Padmé the way R2 hangs around with Anakin.  I find that interesting since 3PO later sticks with their daughter and R2 is closest to the son. • I knew it!  He sent Ahsoka ahead with Baby Hutt. • R2, I think Ahsoka could use a little bit of help. • Oh, I was gonna say.  I didn’t think 3PO would have come here on his own.   • Doesn’t Anakin speak Huttnese?   Why didn’t he react until after the translation? • Kinda ironic.  Anakin helps save Jabba’s son, and Anakin’s daughter will eventually kill Jabba.

Revenge of the Sith notes-

• Huh.  Another kidnapping plot • Kinda like how Obi-Wan has kept R4 as his signature Droid. • Um… you might want to keep it down, Obi-Wan.  R2 is still in enemy territory. • Why is Anakin listening to him?  The fact that he’s ordering the death of someone without a trial isn’t very befitting of someone who claims to be a fan of democracy • Again with the Tusken Raider sounds.   • Why isn’t Palpatine’s attitude making Anakin suspicious? • Wilhelm Scream! • Well, that was a conveniently placed open door in the elevator shaft. • Where did this Grievous guy come from, anyway?  They pretty much introduce him out of nowhere. • I just thought.  Where did R4 go?  Did I miss that? • Oh, I guess she was destroyed during that gunfight.  Shame. • Didn’t Obi-Wan try to discourage Anakin from getting too chummy with the politicians? What changed his mind? • Okay, I don’t ship these two, but I admit.  I can appreciate the situation they’ve found themselves in with this pregnancy • Ugh.  This sappy dialogue.  Gag. • So Padmé is planning to go in ‘vacation’ for a few months? • Wise words from Yoda.  Shame he wasn’t there after Shmi died. • Again, why isn’t Anakin’s attitude about less democracy causing more concern? • Since when does Palpatine need to be represented on the Jedi Council? • Yeah, Anakin isn’t a Jedi Master.  So why was he given a Padawan in the Clone Wars series? • Can we get that story?  The one that shows how Yoda is on good relations with the Wookiees? • It’s treason to spy on the Chancellor? Well, wasn’t he basically asking you to spy on the Jedi Council? • Oh, he’s a good man, is he?  Yeah, he only told you to kill Count Dooku in cold blood and then expected you to leave Obi-Wan to die.  Yeah, he sounds LOVELY. • Oh, NOW you’ve considered the possibility that you misinterpreted the prophecy? • I like how Padmé is also having her doubts.  Because the Republic has become more of a dictatorship than a democracy. • And no one is going to point out how that statement about being unable to let go of their power might apply to this guy?  The one who stayed in office longer than he was supposed to? • That sounds horrible.  Preventing people from dying. • Let me guess.  You were that apprentice, weren’t you? • Ugh.  The Wookiee roars. • Was that a Tarzan yell? • Does Obi-Wan know they’re secretly married? • Dracula alien? • Oh, I want one!  I want the bird lizard! • Nice.  Four lightsabers. • What was up with the camera zoom into the eyes?  Never do that again, movie! • Okay, so Palpatine isn’t even pretending he hasn’t studied the Force anymore. • Oh.  That was….a bit anti-climactic. • Okay, Anakin is doing the right thing here, reporting to Mace Windu. • Can they sense each other?  Is that’s what they’re trying to convey? • Welp, RIP to those guys. • Aw.  I liked Windu.  Booo. • Awww.  Yoda is sensing this. • Really hope Lizard Birdie survived that fall.  He seemed so nice! • Yep.  Yoda is really feeling it now! • Sorry, dude.  Yoda doesn’t go down that easily. • Oh, hi Bail!  Did Padmé send you? • Shame this kid didn’t make it.  He had guts, taking them all on at once. • So Chewbacca was around even back then.  I wonder what a Wookiee’s lifespan is. • Hey, don’t leave out the fact that the Chancellor is a Sith!   • Great line from Padmé. • Yoda’s already checked the security footage, hasn’t he? • I really get the feeling Obi-Wan already knew they married in secret. • Oh, so NOW she’s hearing the things he’s saying. • YEAH!  I love Yoda!  He’s awesome! • Okay, this scene is pretty heartbreaking, I will admit. • So, how far along is Padmé supposed to be?  If Padmé is visibly pregnant, did anyone ever wonder who the father was? • Yeek, Anakin is a stubborn one.  Burned alive and he hasn’t died yet? • Hi, Luke and Leia. • Nice POV shot there. • RIP, Padmé. • Oh, NOW you care about Padmé?  Didn’t seem that way when you were keeping her in a Force Chokehold • Okay, I get why they want to keep the twins hidden, but…. isn’t that kind of obvious, to send Baby Luke to his father’s stepbrother?  Granted they only met once, but…..you’d think that would be an obvious place. • So R2 didn’t get his memory erased.  Meaning he remembers ALL of this! • Awesome how they’re playing everyone’s theme songs over this sequence. • And I love this final shot.  Great way to end it.

Rouge One notes-

• Planet! • A Saturn-like planet! • I can’t remember.  Do they ever explain the significance of that crystal pendant? • Okay, I get that Lyra loves her husband and all, but why would she run out like that?  It seemed like they had this whole escape plan worked out.  Besides, she had a responsibility to be there for her child. • Well, I guess she figured this bloke would be there to step in, but still! • And now Jyn is in jail.  For what, exactly? • Ring of Kafrene.  This trading post place is on an asteroid, from the looks of it.  How do they maintain a breathable atmosphere? • Kyber Crystals? • Well, that was kinda a jerk move. • This planet is called Jedha?  Is the fact that it kinda sounds like Jedi relevant.  Based on that fallen statue, was this the site of a sacred Jedi temple? • I wonder what these other guys’ stories are…? • Okay, so they came here specifically to get Jyn?  How did they know she was there? • Hi, K2S0!   • So this is Yaven 4, right? • Wow, they got a good replacement for Mon Motha.  She looks just like the original actress! • Bail Organa!  Why did they give you the Luke theme just now? • And was that the other Rebel leader?  The one who briefs everyone before the battle of the First Death Star? • Hi, Tarkin.  RIP, Peter Cushing. • Ah, so this is the site of an old Jedi temple? • Okay, but what do you plan to do when you find out that he’s not lying, dude? • Hey, those are the guys from Mos Eisley!  Are they currently on their way to Tatooine?  Considering what happens to this planet in a couple hours…. • So, what’s this guy’s story?   I get he was once a guardian of the Jedi Temple, but….was he Force Sensitive but just didn’t have a Jedi to train him?  Because I’m guessing he sees through the Force. • Where’d she learn to fight like that? • Nice fake out. • Seriously, you can’t tell me this guy isn’t Force Sensitive! • Really wish we learned out how these two guys met. • Haha!  ‘Are you kidding me?  I’m blind!’  I love the humor in this movie. • Okay, I get you were trying to keep her safe.  But it was a jerk move that you went about it that way.  You could have at least been honest about why you were sending her away. • So, according to this movie, the Death Star has a ‘volume’ button of sorts. • I’m guessing these six are the only people who made it out of the area alive? • I wonder.  Did Yoda and Obi-Wan sense this event through the Force? • Ah, can’t do it, can you? • Dude!  That was uncalled for!  He just told you they had nothing to do with it! • How was this guy not initiated into the Jedi order? • This is actually pretty good social commentary on what war does to soldiers, and the dangers of following orders blindly. • Does Vader live on Mustafar now?  You’d think he’d prefer to keep off this planet considering he believes this is where Padmé died. • Okay, I’m a bit confused.  They want to keep the Death Star a secret.  So how was it a good idea to destroy an entire planet roughly a week later? • Well, you’ve done a 180, Jyn.  Just a short time ago, you were content to just live with your head in the sand. • Aw, Bail Organa.  Wanting to contact Obi Wan again.  Shame you had to remain on Alderaan. • Hehe. ‘Are we blind?!’ • Probably a weird thing to comment on, but why do only the Imperials have Mouse Droids?  Why doesn’t the Rebellion have any? • Maybe because you’re a blabbermouth, 3PO?   • Nice that their arc has been completed; her giving him the blaster. • Gotta say, Cassian.  That was pretty stupid, calling him on the comlink at that precise moment.  If he closed the door, don’t you think there might have been a good reason? • Hyperspace Tracking?  Really?  If they had eliminated that file when they did…. • Then again, there’s probably a copy on another planet.  Considering this base will be destroyed in a few minutes….. • RIP, K2-SO.  You were the best. • Same to you, Chirrut.   • That thing was straight out of a video game! • Wow, that IS a cool move! • That’s one chilling image. • Kinda satisfying that this punk can see his death coming. • So, I’m a bit confused.  Was Leia among the ships converging around Scarif?  I thought she was supposed to go fetch Obi-Wan.  Did she just decide to take a detour first?

A New Hope notes-

• This text crawl is even cooler now that we know the details of Rouge One. • Wait, this text says Leia is heading home.  But wasn’t she going to Tatooine to fetch Obi-Wan?   Though I realize George Lucas hadn’t ironed out the details yet. • Always wondered what the story was with that other Protocol Droid.  The White 3PO. • How were they not hit while crossing the hallway? • Wasn’t R2 just with 3PO?  How’d he manage to distance himself long enough to meet up with Leia? • Hey, they mentioned the mines on Kessel! • What kind of insult was that?  What part of his statement warranted calling him a philosopher? • Pretty ballsy of Leia there, considering her ship just left Scarif. • Oh, shut up, 3PO.  You haven’t even traveled that far. • Eh, forget about him, R2.  You don’t need that whiny prissy pants.  He’s useless. • Jawas!  You know, I kinda wonder what they look like without those cloaks. • Well, that’s a convenient coincidence that they were both picked up by the same Jawas, despite going in different directions. • How does 3PO not know Leia?  Is the restraining bolt altering his memory? • And how would you know that, Beru?  Didn’t you only meet Anakin once in your life? • I never noticed how odd these scene transitions were. • What kind of a noise was that? • What? Since when did Anakin make any mention about wanting his son to have his old lightsaber? • So Palpatine has eliminated the Senate altogether? • Wait, he constructed it?  I thought the credit to that went to Galen and Krennic?  Who’s this clown? • Isn’t the Death Star already operational? • Yeah, so dangerous I won’t even bother going with you to assist you with my considerable powers. • Never quite understood what that orb thing was supposed to do. • I just thought.  Why did Luke not know about the Force until Obi-Wan told him when practically everyone else had a conscious knowledge of it?  Did his uncle purposely keep him in the dark? • So, what was this guy’s problem?  And how did they get off Jedha before it went boom? • Corillia mention.  Kinda cool how that ended up being Han’s home planet. • So the orb was a mind probe? • This scene seems pointless.  Didn’t the Greedo scene cover all of this?  Not to mention how Jabba is too small in comparison to how he looked in Return of the Jedi. • And it’s way too soon for Boba Fett to appear. • Didn’t they already buckle themselves in?  Kinda silly that they unbuckled again to visit the cockpit. • Yeah…. Weren’t they supposed to keep the Death Star from being noticed? • I wonder if Obi-Wan sensed the destruction on Jedha and Scariff, too. • Isn’t the exact same way Chewbacca lost against Tobias? • Luke, you didn’t even hear about the Force until a few hours ago. • What was with that smile, Obi-Wan?  Do you know something? • Heh.  Vader starts gesturing AFTER he’s done talking.  Bad dubbing work? • Interesting how everyone associated that statement with Han when everyone has said it. • Does Chewbacca know Obi-Wan was allies with Yoda?  We did see him and Yoda were pals during the Clone Wars. • I want a mouse droid. • And Vader senses Obi-Wan’s presence. • How does Leia know Obi-Wan goes by Ben now? • Well, him and the Emperor…..  Tarkin knows Palpatine can use the Force, too, right? • And Han just had to through in a loud yell as he jumped, didn’t he? • It’s just his imagination?  Then what made that sound, genius? • I can’t believe that worked!  Maybe it’s because of the whole Droid discrimination? • Huh.  So those guys walking past in the background obviously have no peripheral vision. • Yeesh, Leia.  Weren’t you on the Senate?  I hope you didn’t insult all other non-humanoid species like that. • Wilhelm Scream! • So Luke just happens to have a tether cord on his belt? • Hey, who’s that other Astromech Droid? • This lightsaber battle is kinda boring when you remember their last battle had them surfing down a river of lava. • Does anyone else find it strange how Luke didn’t seem shocked by hearing Obi-Wan’s disembodied voice? • Heh.  Gotta admire Leia’s decorum.  She could have easily been all ‘oh, boo hoo, the guy you met yesterday died.  It’s not as if your entire planet got blown up.’ • Big explosion for a one-man ship. • How on the world did you get all tangled up like that, 3PO? • Hey, don’t act like the Millennium Falcon can’t be tracked, Han.  Enfrys Nest was able to track it, remember? • Didn’t you already know about the weak spot, Leia?  Or are you still having doubts about Galen’s trustworthiness? • That was a pointless atmosphere shot. • Zebra Astromech Droid! • Kinda low-key disappointed we didn’t get a better idea of the friendship between Luke and this Biggs person. • Oh.  Calling the fat guy Porkins.  That was in poor taste. • Should have stayed on target. • Pride comes before a fall, Tarkin. • RIP, Biggs.  We hadly knew thee. • I wonder when Vader starts to suspect that this might be his son….. • I wonder what made Han change his mind.  Did he just decide he couldn’t ignore his conscience?   • Did he just call her Carrie? • I wonder who loaned Luke that outfit, considering he only came here with the clothes on his back. • So why doesn’t Chewbacca get a metal, too? • And the movie tries to create tension by not revealing R2 is okay right away…..

Holiday Special notes-

• Pretty sure this opening text crawl was added in by Star Wars fans and wasn’t part of the original broadcast. • Jumping right into the action with Han and Chewbacca evading Star Destroyers. • This introduction segment makes it look like this is going to be a Star Wars-themed variety show.   Well, if the shoe fits…. • I don’t remember most of these celebrities. • I want to know who decided against including subtitles in the scenes focusing on Chewbacca’s family. • Gotta say, it’s kinda hilarious.  This is supposed to be a holiday.  And they’re not letting the kid enjoy himself.   • Wait.  Do the Wookiees have garbage men on their planet? • Since when do they have cameras in the Star Wars universe that could enable them to have framed photographs? • Hey, the holographic chess board! • And the first pointless segment- Holographic acrobat parade. • And they’re giving the kid more chores.  I thought it was a holiday on the Wookiee planet.  Let the kid enjoy himself! • And Luke makes his cameo. • When did Luke meet these guys, anyway?  And why does he have to do maintenance on his own ship?  Doesn’t the Rebel Alliance have people for that? • Hey, if you’re not going to pay attention to R2’s warnings, you shouldn’t have asked him to keep an eye on the ship. • Well, that’s what you get for not listening to your Droid! • So….off-duty Imperials continue to wear their Imperial attire when they’re off the clock? • The Imperial guy couldn’t see right through that obviously coded message? • And they’re just recycling footage that never made it into the movie. • Okay, so are you going to stop forcing the kid to do chores? • Oh, no.  We’re getting a cooking show now. • I wonder what the rates are for shipping Bantha meat to other planets. • Stir, whip, stir, whip, whip, whip, stir.  WAAAAH! • How many arms does this cooking transgender lady have? • And back to Han and Chewbacca. • Now back to the Wookiees. • Why are you pronouncing Kashyyyk that way, guy? • Oh, it’s that merchant bloke. • Well, maybe they let you through because your ship wasn’t seen joining the attack against the Death Star. • Oh, goody!  He got me something electrical that I have to put together myself!  Exactly what every kid wants! • Oh, dear.  This segment. • They were aware that kids would be watching this, right?  I wonder how many parents went nuts and quickly changed the channel upon hearing what this woman was saying. • Is Grandpa Wookiee doing what I think he’s doing? • And she just starts singing.   Well, I guess it’s better than the….alternative.  They had to keep this Rated G, after all. • Oh, and we got Leia and 3PO. • How does everyone know Chewbacca’s family? • You can understand Chewbacca but not Mala? • Finally, 3PO is being useful!  Too bad he couldn’t act as translator through the rest of the special • Even though I’ve just met you, old man, I trust you! • I notice they never really explain what Life Day is. • FAKE OUT! • Oh.  The Nazi undertones are just seeping through the screen at this point. • And a Jefferson Starship music video. • And this is actually keeping the Imperials’ attention. • Well, then you’re a lousy general, guy.  If you can’t always control your men…. • Wait.  So you’re telling me someone makes animated cartoons about the members of the Rebel Alliance in this world? • Ah, a new planet.  Pannah. • Is that the Purplesaurus Rex? • And Boba Fett • Who puts a sleeping virus on an amulet? And why were they after the amulet in the first place? • What, he can’t even watch his cartoons? • Well, this is convenient, that the Droids can intercept a transmission that’s being made miles away. • No, he’s not Vader’s right-hand man.  He’s a bounty hunter.  So Vader just hired him. • They have stuffed animals of Banthas in this universe?  Wow. • Really?  We get an instruction video now? • So this world has Droids and Androids?  How come this is the only time we see an Android? • Maybe this is why.  Androids keep malfunctioning and breaking down. • Ah, more recycled footage. • Is this really required viewing for all Imperials? • Hi, Bea Arthur. • Does this guy have a volcano in his head? • And he has six fingers. • Oh, this guy.  Under normal circumstances, he’d be a bit of a jerk.  He’s the guy who thinks the waitress/cashier/etc. is flirting with him by simply being friendly, as per her job’s requirements. • Is there really that much Rebel activity on Tatooine for them to impose a curfew on the whole planet? • Bea Arthur sings! • Oh. Volcano Head stayed! • Dang it, Kid!  You can turn that thing off now! • Too late. • And he doesn’t immediately shoot the kid? • Ah, now Chewbacca and Han show up. • Wow, were Mama and Grandpa just standing around when Lumpy was being chased by the Stormtrooer? • Oh, this guy again. • What do you plan to do when they find the body? • What are they doing? • Now they’re in Snuggies? • Where are they? • Oh, no.  It’s an entire Wookiee choir! • Wait, where did all of you guys come from!? • Han, didn’t you just go back to the Falcon? • Do the other Wookiees even know who these guys are? • Tree of Life?  What are you….? • Oh.  Carrie Fisher is singing. • Chewbacca looks dead! • And random footage from A New Hope, reminding us we could have been watching a better movie. • It’s still going? • Okay, Chewbaca.  You and your family enjoy your invisible holiday dinner. • Finally!  The end credits!

Empire Strikes Back notes-

• Yeah, the Yaven 4 base was probably compromised anyway, since Vader survived the battle. • Wait, why is Luke leading them now?  Shouldn’t that be Leia’s job? • Ah, so Vader has figured out who Luke is, then?  Wonder what tipped him off?  Shame we couldn’t see his reaction to that. • Hmm.  I wonder how Luke adjusted to being on this ice planet, considering he spent his entire life on a desert world. • Wow, Tauntan Creature.  You couldn’t have warned him sooner? • I see you, movie, with you keep cutting to Leia so we can see her reaction to Han telling that other guy that he’s leaving. • Hehe.  I wonder what all those other random people were thinking as they passed by.  ‘Oh, boy, are those two at it again?’ • And when it comes to loyalty, Han gets top marks. • Well, that was convenient, that his lightsaber didn’t fall off before they reached the cave. • Didn’t Qui-Gon instruct you?  Well, I guess Yoda technically instructed you, too, as he taught you about Force Ghosts. • Aw, it’s Rouge Two.  *sniff* • So what earned this guy the prestige of being Rouge Two? • Ewwww.  George Lucas did know about the twist involving these two by this point, didn’t he?  If so, double ewwww. • Dang it, Chewbacca!  Why’d you have to alert the Probe Droid to your presence? • What were you going to say, Luke?  It looked like you were getting ready to say something. • So he can Force Choke Hold someone through a transmission.  Wow, that’s actually impressive. • So it’s official now.  R2 predominantly stays with Luke while 3PO is virtually claimed by Leia.  Interesting how the twins claim the droid the parent of the same gender had. • How did the Falcon get this damaged in the first place? • Would have been nice if they were able to tell us what R2 was saying.  Considering Basic uses a different alphabet. • I really do wonder if Han WAS secretly Force Sensitive . • Ah, our first hint of what Vader looks like without the helmet. • Yeah, you pretty much walked into that one, Leia. • Oh, and Tatooine wasn’t a strange place to find a Jedi Master? • So, obviously, Yoda knows who Luke is.   Meaning he’s acting like this to get an idea of his true nature.  But what about R2?  Wouldn’t he be able to recognize Yoda? • Ah, unplanned L3 reference. • What was with that third hologram that fizzled out?  Was the ship he was on that one that got hit? • Oh, was this how he figured it out? • Ah, Luke.  You failed Yoda’s first test. • So….that means Mynocks were living in the Space Worm’s stomach? • Why are you taking the weapons?  Yoda just told you that they weren’t needed. • So, obviously this was supposed to be symbolic of the fact that Luke could easily end up like Vader, but I wonder if it was also meant as deeper foreshadowing of who Vader really was…. • Hi, Boba Fett. • So, why exactly is Vader so interested in the Millennium Falcon? • Why does the Lightspeed feature still no work? • Dude, it was working!!!  Why did you give up? • Seriously, Han is really proving how cleaver he is in this movie! • Ah, Boba Fett anticipated that maneuver. • So, have Han and Lando met since the events of Solo? • Yeah, another.  That you didn’t bother to train at all. • I kinda like how we’re slowly but surely seeing Lando’s growing turmoil.  A nice lead-up to his final turn to good. • I wonder.  Does Vader recognize 3PO? • Hey!  Someone actually installed railings! • Ice Cream Machine!!!! • So, was that a garbage chute? • What exactly is Luke hanging from? An anti-gravity device? • Well, he probably didn’t think you were ready to know, Luke. • Wonder how L3 feels about the Falcon being piloted by Lando again.

Return of the Jedi notes-

• The Empire really loves their Death Stars, don’t they?  You’d think they would have decided to cut their losses. • Why no subtitles? • They really don’t tell 3PO anything, do they? • Oh, now they give us subtitles! • Wow, that scene was kinda dark. • Ugh, what is this song?  What was wrong with the last one?  Hasn’t Lucas heard that less is more? • Didn’t they say they were putting a restraining bolt on 3PO? • Hi, Lando! • So, with all the changes they made, they couldn’t make that effect look better? • How long were they waiting behind that curtain? • Yeah, how long has it been since the last movie?  Luke’s strength in the Force seems to have gotten stronger. • I wonder.  Does Jabba know he’s looking at the son of the Jedi who helped rescue his kidnapped son during the Clone Wars? • I wonder how long Lando was hiding out in this place.  How many sacrifices to the Rancor has he seen? • Aw, I feel bad for the Rancor keeper. • Well, that was an unceremonious way for Boba to go out • Aw, I REALLY hope Max Rebo got off before that barge blew up! • How is his training now complete?  Was he self-training between movies? • RIP, Yoda. • Oh, now he calls him Obi-Wan?  After he repeatedly referred to him as Ben prior to this scene? • So why couldn’t they inform Luke of his sister before?  I know they wanted to keep Leia’s identity a secret, but they could have mentioned a sister and introduced other potential candidates. • And Lando is a full-fledged Rebel, now? • Oh, Hi Mon Mothma!  Where have you been hiding all this time?  We’ve seen you helped found the Rebel Alliance with Bail Organa.  So why are we only seeing her now? • So, what was with Han’s feeling?  It’s not as if anything happens to the Millennium Falcon during the upcoming battle. • So Luke and Vader can sense each other’s presence, now? • This could be a good ride idea.  Endor speeder bike tour! • And enter the Ewoks! • This is even cuter when you realize Wicket is roughly 6-years-old in Ewok years. • Of course you didn’t sense it, Emperor Palpatine.  You underestimate the strength of family bonds. • What kind of animal was that? • Okay, I get the Ewoks have never seen a Droid before, but why do they think 3PO is a deity? • Hehe.  Luke is so amused by this. • So, they plan on eating the guys, but Leia gets the guest of honor treatment?  Odd. • I don’t get it.  They think 3PO is a god, but they don’t listen when he tells them to release Luke, Han and Chewbacca? • Is 3PO giving a full recap of the last two movies? • How does Leia remember Padmé at all, considering she died when she and Luke were only a few minutes old? • Oh, you’ve always known, Leia?  Then why were you kissing him in the last movie? • Well, would Padmé’s name hold meaning to you? • Bet that Ewok is having the time of his life! • Oh, Lando being clever and figuring it out! • Wow.  That’s a lot of Imperials. • Really?  They think it takes six troopers to capture one Droid? • And now that 3PO has served his purpose, he’s back to being useless and annoying • Ah, so Wedge is still around?  Wonder why he didn’t play a bigger role in the movies other than one of the Rebel Pilots. • You’re telling me none of the retreating Imperials paid any mind to Luke dragging Vader along? • So, who repaired R2? • Ah, the new ending. • Okay, I’m totally okay with showing the other planets.  But I do NOT LIKE this new ending music!  Give me the Yub Nub song! • And get that Haden Christianson Anakin off my screen!  Give me the original Sebastian Shaw Force Ghost!

Ewoks: Caravan of Courage notes-

• Oh, wow.  The old logo for Lucasfilm! • And we have a narrator in this movie? • And there’s a troll. • Are those ponies?   The Ewoks have Ponies, now? • With the narrator, this seems more like a nature documentary on Ewoks. • So this is Wicket’s family, then.  He has a father, mother, two older brothers and a baby sibling. • They have goats, too? • Wait, the little girl is back at the ship?  Then why couldn’t the parents find her before? • Haha.  The Ewoks really don’t like male humans, do they? • Strange bonding scene between the girl and Wicket. • She just said she didn’t feel so good, Mace.  I think it’s obvious she isn’t okay. • Ah, Ewok Slapstick. • Wait, so is this the Tree of Life they mentioned in the Holiday Special? • Mace, probably not a good idea to stick your hand into a strange hole in a tree on an unfamiliar planet. • Yep, that’s what you get! • And now we get a ferret?  Why are all these Earth animals on Endor? • And now, Wicket is learning how to speak Basic? • Cindel, I know you’re a kid, but do the Ewoks look as if they have a starcruiser? • What do you mean, they’re just animals, Mace?  This is the Star Wars universe.  You must have seen other Alien species before.  And the Ewoks are clearly sentient. • Was that a werewolf? • Mace, is it really smart to sneak out in the middle of the night?  You know nothing about this moon, or what kind of nocturnal wildlife there is. • And now you’re building a fire?  Wow, you’re dumb! • Finally! A strange Star Wars creature!  Though the effects are laughable, compared to the Rancor. • And now the Ewoks are there? • So Lokrey the Shamin…can use magic?  Magic exists in the Star Wars universe?  Or is what they’re calling magic actually the Force?  Can Ewoks be Force Sensitive? • The Giant Gorax, huh? • And the other Ewoks speak Basic now, too?  How did they learn to speak Basic so well? • Okay, that was a nice moment.  The Mama Ewok knowing her husband and sons are heading off on a journey they might not return from and reacting to it in an understandable way. • So we got Legendary Ewok Warriors, now? • So Deej and the two older brothers just get winged headdresses?   What purpose would those serve? • Why do you think there’re stopping, Mace?  They’re picking up their final band member. • Ah, a female Ewok.   • So….what was this test supposed to do?  The crystal turns into a lizard and then it’s a mouse?  What did that mean? • And what’s the deal with this lake?  How does it trap people below the surface?  A little context would be nice, Narrator? • And we have a legion of Tinkerbells? • HAHA!  I like that one Ewok.  He just looks around at all the mayhem and decides to just go back to sleep. • So the fairy thing feeds on laughter?  Is that what this supposed to convey? • That’s one powerful blaster to obliterate a rock. • Mace doesn’t recognize a spider web? • Okay, you destroyed the web.  But how do you plan on getting back? • Did the spider survive the fall, or is this a different one? • So, two Ewoks weigh the same as a human? • Nice fake-out, movie. • Yeah, that’s right.  You chopped down the spider web bridge. • So the Tinkerbell thing has a point in the movie. • Well, you got over your sorrow quickly, Mace. • Ah.  So you’re all just going to Tarzan swing across the gorge? • Didn’t the rest of the Fairy Family get absorbed into the candle? • Ugh, what a sappy ending line from Mr. Narrator.

Battle for Endor notes-

• And we open on Cindel and Wicket • Hey, the principal from Breakfast Club! • And Wicket speaks fluent Basic now. • They have school in the Star Wars universe? • And we’re jumping right into the action. • She can turn into a crow? • She seems remarkably calm for someone whose mother and brother died. • Kid, your whole family is dead.  I think it’s okay if you cry a little. • So the Ewoks are putting all their hope in Wicket and a 6-year-old?  (I don’t know how old Wicket is in Ewok years, but I’m guessing he’s still a kid, too.) • And people say the Stormtroopers have horrible aim? • Um…. They’re not the least bit concerned by the pile of loose bones? • So you plan on catching the flying creature on a glider? • And they’re completely unharmed after crashing?  At least have Cindel get some scrapes and abrasions. • And what is this guy supposed to be? • Cindel, you’re way too trusting.  For all you know, this guy could be in league with the guys who killed your family. • Yes, this is a great idea.  Go into someone’s house and immediately start snooping around. • Yeah, I get where this guy is coming from, but he’s not the least bit curious as to why this little kid is all alone? • Dude, they’re the ones who made the muffins! • Heh.  He used reverse phycology just now, didn’t he? • Did I miss the part when they introduced that critter as Teek? • Well, we’re finally seeing Cindel experience some psychological scars. • So, I guess these guys don’t get how technology works and think it’s a magical talisman? • You can make a pie out of flowers? • Also, weren’t you going to go looking for where the Ewoks are being held?  But instead, you go flower picking? • Noa, aren’t you the least bit concerned as to why they’re out in the woods without their parents? • Heh.  Nice callback to the last movie. • And I guess Wicket has completely forgotten all about his family, and how they’re all probably being tortured and killed. • Okay, she can’t sing, but she’s only 6, so it’s okay. • And the Witch Lady found them? • Cindel’s the only one who hears the voice calling her name? • Oh.  I hope that wasn’t a chamber pot. • Oh, now they hear the voice! • Again, Cindel is far too trusting.  I know she’s a kid, but still. • Yeah, how do you explain technology to people who only know about magic? • What exactly was in that water?  Alien Piranha? • Are they playing Sabbec? • Cindel!  Don’t you know when to be quiet!? • Well, that was a clever stunt. • Heh.  I see what you did there, movie.  Nice continuity in hearing the guards crying out when he cut the rope. • Noa, I don’t think it’s your place to put Wicket in charge of the Ewoks.  After all, his parents and brothers are probably there. • And the Ewoks now know how to use space cruiser guns? • Though I do like how the design of the gunner seats are similar to that of the Millennium Falcon.  It finally feels like a Star Wars movie. • Ah.  I guess that one is Deej. • Wow.  Sword vs staff. • Though what is that head carving on Noa’s staff supposed to be?   • Welp, that’s the end of that. • Oh, now Cindel is crying.  She didn’t cry when her family were murdered, but she cries when she’s saying goodbye to Wicket? • So Teek lives with the Ewoks now?

The Force Awakens Notes-

• Yeah, that makes sense.  Enough people looked at what the Empire did and said ‘yes, that was a brilliant idea!’ • Nice effect of the ship obscuring the planet there. • And there’s BB-8. • So, are we supposed to recognize this old man? • I almost commented on how this was the first time we saw blood in a Star Wars film, but I guess we kinda saw blood in A New Hope, when Obi Wan chopped off that guy’s arm. • So, what’s the story with this guy?  I get the feeling he was an old friend of the family.  Did he frequently have dinner with them? • I remember instantly liking this guy.  It’s the first time we saw a Stormtrooper, or any member of the Empire, having a reaction to what they were doing.  (Though the original Stormtroopers were all supposed to be clones of Jango Fett.) • So, was there a big battle on Jakku that we never knew about?  Considering there are all these crashed Star Destroyers lying around. • Wow.  That’s a really cool way to make food. • And an AT-AT Walker, too?  What happened on this planet? • How do people understand the beeps and whistles? • Does Poe know who this guy really is? • I see you cleaned the blood off your helmet. • Think I heard a Wilhelm Scream! • So these guys were raised from infancy, I guess?  Since they’ve only ever had numbers and not actual names. • I guess Luke’s name is even known throughout all of the First Order? • Were these the sinking sands that Rey was talking about? • I wonder how long he’s been walking through the desert. • Was there ever a headcount of how many applauded when the Millennium Falcon first appeared? • That was a risky maneuver! • Anger management, dude! • Also, I notice they mentioned the Falcon is a Corellian freighter.  Not many people acknowledge that. • Hehe.  The thumbs up from BB-8 • Hi, Han and Chewbacca!  Long time, no see! • A Raptar?   • Trillian Massacre? • Also, was there ever a book about how Han lost the Falcon? • Okay, cinematically, I get why these things didn’t eat Finn right away, but why didn’t he get eaten immediately like those other guys? • And they reveal who Kylo is in the middle of the film. • I think you impressed Han, Rey. • Heeee!  The holographic chess board! • This looks like a nice planet to live on! • So he knows Finn isn’t really in the Resistance. • What do you mean, she’s an acquired taste?  I loved Maz instantly! • Has nobody told this punk that Grandpa Anakin/Vader changed his mind and turned against the Dark Side? • So, what exactly triggers this vision of Rey’s?  Is it the fact that Finn leaving is making her remember how she ended up on Jakku? • How did Maz find the lightsaber?  Didn’t Luke lose it on Bespin? • They really love their Death Stars, don’t they? • Did Chewbacca ever use that thing before? • I think there was a book explaining the backstory between Finn and this other Stormtrooper. • Personally, I would have had the reveal that Poe survived be a bit more dramatic • So the Force can knock someone out now? • Ah, the Leia theme! • Oh, shut up, 3PO! • How long has it been since they saw each other? • Why were people apparently in an uproar over Leia not hugging Chewbacca?  She just did! • Awww.  I love the relationship between Poe and BB-8. • R2! • Who is this Snoke, anyway? • Bwaaahaahaa!  Kylo’s actual face looks weird.  This is the kind of face you’d think would be filled with acne. • I wonder what Rey’s Midichlorian count would be. • I LOVE THE STORMROOPERS’ REACTION!!!!! They’re like NOPE! • Hey, it’s Admiral Akbar!  And is that Nien Nunb? • Heh.  I kinda like how Han has become a believer in the Force. • Like that callback to A New Hope. • After all these years, they still use the same red alert sound? • When did Rey learn how to speak Wookiee?  Is it just because of her heightened Force Sensitivity? • Okay, I know that one character is Carrie Fisher’s daughter.  I wonder if she’ll play a larger role in Episode 9…. • Nice touch, showing Leia feeling Han’s death through the Force. • How exactly did they get ahead of them? • Interesting touch.  When the two lightsabers touch, it turns purple.  Nice attention to detail. • So now, the old Luke theme is Rey’s theme? • That’s cool, how she’s using the terrain in the fight. • Wait, why is the planet splitting apart again? • Oh, the fuel cells?  Was that because of Chewbacca’s bombs? • So, what exactly triggered R2 to wake up? • Is that someone’s grave?  Whose is it? • Hello, again, Luke!

The Last Jedi notes-

• The first time the Text Crawl is virtually pointless.  Absolutely no time has passed since the last movie. • Heh.  Is Poe just messing with him?  Ah, yes he is. • Haha.  Nice bit of humor with BB-8. • Okay, I get where Poe is coming from, but I think he’s letting his pride get the better of him here. • Yeah, they scored a victory, but at a cost. • Wow, that was an abrupt way to wake up from a coma. • Was nobody in the medical bay to stop Finn from walking around aimlessly? • Hahaha. • And the Porgs. • I just thought.  What did Luke do with his ROTJ lightsaber?  The one with the green blade?   • Oh, is it inside the submerged X-Wing? • Did Luke not sense Han’s death? • Seriously, did no one tell this guy that Vader turned good in the end? • Well, if you didn’t want to be found, then who created the map? • Oh, is that where the blue milk comes from?  These creatures? • That’s a big fish! • Is this the moment when Luke first realized Rey was Force Sensitive? • That’s a fair question, Luke.  Your sister and everyone else deserves an explanation. • Admiral Akbar! • Well, they did foreshadow this in Rouge One.  They had a file dedicated to Hyperspace Tracking in the Imperial database. • Oh, Leia and Kylo are sensing each other’s presence. • Mouse Droid! • Okay, this is an awkward scene, considering Carrie Fisher’s death. • Super Leia! • Haha!  Chewbacca and the Porgs. • This is a nice reunion! • Love the callback! • So they killed Admiral Akbar off-screen? • I don’t like Holdo. • Okay, first time I saw this, I wondered if that bomber who sacrificed herself was Rose’s girlfriend or something.  But they turned out to be sisters. • Hi, Maz. Bye Maz. • So they can communicate through the Force now? • I like the Caretaker Nuns. • Haha!  Luke, you nerd! • So, this island has a similar area to that cave on Dagobah? • Oh, so that’s why he didn’t sense Han’s death, then? • That is a good question. • Oh!  The rain crossed over! • Space horses! • Tragic backstory unlocked. • HAHAHA! • Luke does have a point.  The Jedi Counsel overlooked quite a lot. • Wait, so this guy could open the cell door at any time? • I can’t be the only one who is reminded of Trico when I see these guys. • So you killed your father because he was holding you back?  Is that what I’ve heard? • It’s like being in one of those mirrored elevators. • What is touching fingers supposed to do? • Yeesh. What a tangled web. • YODA! • Nice bit of wisdom from Yoda. • Wow, this movie is giving me whiplash. • Well, if they’d just TOLD HIM THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!!! • Okay, who even was Snoke? • Well, that was anti-climactic. • Dawww.  I want a crystal fox! • Awww, I love Poe and BB-8’s bond. • Millennium Falcon! • Does Chewbacca keep that Porg? • He just said that, dude! • Well, okay for you, girl.  But now everyone’s gonna die! • Okay, that scene is kinda hard to watch, considering…. • Haha.  That was cool! • Oh, NOW you figure that out! • Oh, they’re both sensing Luke dying? • Didn’t they already meet? • And there are the Jedi texts. • So now what?

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[likeahbraus]

What are your favourite potato dishes? I suggest you listen to a song called potato knishes.

… This sounds dangerous Nonny…

And EVERY potato dish is my favorite!!

((Or Dr. Suess-y with all the rhyming. I do not like Green Eggs and Ham I do not like them Sam I am.))

((Or Roald Dahl Vermicious Knids))

[justice-for-jacob-marley]

Whoa, whoa, hold, hold up????? He, he actually calls her Ruca????? In the movie??!!?? Holy Vermicious Knid!

Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (1971)