#Caitlyn was probably like when is take your girlfriend to work day and they said “never” and then she went and cried to Vi about it

[like-wuatafauq]

As a butch I can confirm that Vi is wearing the uniform for Caitlyn and absolutely no other reason. She doesn't like listening to other ppl, she stole someone's jacket ,you guys really think she would wear an enforcer uniform bcuz she agrees with them? ERRRR WRONG she's just a butch who wears what her femme wants her to wear. In fact, I think after they fucked she wanted to steal Caitlyn's jacket, to which Caitlyn probably said "oh! Hellooo handsome" and then Vi had no other choice but to commit to the whole uniform just so Caitlyn could take it off.

In conclusion, Vi's just a butch guys, a butch who wears what her girlfriend gives her and does what she has to do in order to be close to her femme girlfriend.

[unluckiestmember]

Arcane Characters + Working at the Brothel

Summary: You finally got a job! But it’s at the brothel. Here’s how the Arcane cast reacts to it. 

Characters: Jinx, Vi, Caitlyn, Viktor, Ekko, Silco, Sevika, Mel, Jayce, Vander

Warning: None. Mostly SFW, some suggestive themes here and there though.

A/N: I personally would never work at the brothel. But if I did, you can catch me in the same room as the Brothel Girl ;)

Jinx

“You got a job?! That’s great news, toots! Where?... The brothel? Awesome! I’ll try and go there every week- No every day- No, no no! Every hour!”

Will literally be a super supportive girlfriend. She’s just excited at the fact you actually got a job after you’ve been complaining about being unemployed for so long. She happily goes to the brothel almost every day you work just to be your client. The visits are sweet, but also weird because sometimes she’ll pay you even though you both live together. But her actions are appreciated.

Vi

“Oh, you got the job? No way, that’s awesome! What’s the job though?... You’re working at the brothel? Huh. Okay.”

Honestly, Vi is okay with your line of work. Though she would lie if she said she wasn’t a little fearful for you. You are her lover after all! You mean the world to her and if she was to hear that someone touched you wrong or cussed you out for doing your job, she would probably kill someone. Luckily, her fear subsided when she spoke with Babette, who assured her nothing bad would happen to you. Sometimes Vi will surprise you at work when she’s done with her job early or has a day off. When she’s your client, you two will either talk for hours on end or use the many experimental rooms around you to your advantage. Wink wink-

Caitlyn Kiramman

“Congratulations on getting the job, darling. What will you be doing for work?... Oh. Um. Well, um. Alright. N-No, don’t worry. I’m okay… Why the brothel?”

Caitlyn is honestly against it. She might play coy and act like she’s alright with you talking to and doing things with strangers in Zaun, but she’s actually upset when you first tell her. She gives you a somewhat cold shoulder attitude for a few days until you confront her about it. It takes her some time, but she slowly warms up to you working at the brothel. She’ll sometimes show up and say she’s a customer to talk to you about her day. Be ready to have her visit you during hours if she’s had a terrible day at work.

Viktor

“Where will you be working now?... The brothel? Okay. Are you sure you want to work there though? I heard of the sort of things that happen there.”

Viktor is not against you working at the brothel. He just needs to make sure you’ll be safe. He knows Zaun can be shady with their business transactions, let alone that Zaunites can get handsy for little to no reason. If you assure him you’ll be okay, he’ll believe you. However, this doesn’t change that he will always be concerned about you when you’re at work. He’ll go to the brothel sometimes on his break just to check up on you. You can try and make him stay there for a visit, but he’ll politely decline. Besides, that’s not really his kind of setting.

Ekko

“The brothel, huh? What do you do there?... Oh, talk? That’s cool. So like therapy?... Woah. Woah! You sure you wanna do that?!”

Ekko will be super skeptical of your new line of work. He’s usually not a jealous guy, but when he hears that people will be paid to do whatever they want to you, he loses it. It’s not until you tell him that you have the decision to decline offers and choose what boundaries you have does he calm down a bit. He knows you are your own person, so he’ll let you stay at the brothel. But he’ll never tell you he has some firelights scoping out the area for your safety… Oops.

Silco

“You? Working at the brothel? I don’t think so, my love. I don’t think so…”

Silco is definitely against you working at the brothel. He knows about the kind of men and women that go there. Hell, he knows that Sevika goes there! You can try your damndest to go to work, but this man will use any excuse and obstacle he can find. Walking there? Oh no, an investigation was happening at the entrance. Got called in? Gonna have to decline because you had to go on a mission with Sevika. Because of his actions, you almost lose your job just as quickly as you got it. You know Silco’s secretly being a clingy boyfriend, but there’s so far you can go before your actions are borderline ridiculous.

Sevika

“... Wait. What?”

Sevika will be so confused as to why you got a job at the brothel. She’ll also become more cautious of going there. She’s a regular customer, so if she were to go one day and hear that one of the clients has been talking about her rendezvous to you? She’ll just want to crawl into a hole and die. After a few days of her avoiding you, she tells you about her visits. You’re understandably upset, but you forgive her as long as she hasn’t and doesn’t cheat on you. From that day forward, Sevika is still a regular, but she’s also your number one client.

Mel Medarda

“That’s good to hear, honey. Where will you be working?... Like hell you are.”

You can argue, you can talk it out, you can do sweet things for her, but Mel will never let you work at the brothel. She knows from her time in Noxus and through her mother how those kinds of places work. So the last thing she needed was to see or imagine you having one on one time with someone in an inappropriate manner for money. She doesn’t care if you can choose what happens to you, she will still stand against it. Before you know it, you’ve lost your job. But luckily Mel is quick to help you find another.

Jayce Talis

“So you’re working at the brothel? What’s that? Like a church or something?”

The poor innocent fool that is known as Jayce. He has spent his entire life in Piltover, never setting foot outside of the topside to explore the undercity. So of course he doesn’t know what a brothel is! He will think you have a sweet job helping people worship an entity or guide them in life. One day though, he chose to give you a surprise visit. And when he saw what you were actually doing? Well, let’s just say Babette closed the brothel down for a while when a bunch of enforcers came crashing through her place with a vengeance. By the way, you were fired.

Vander

“You finally got a job? That’s great to hear. So where is it, huh?... Oh, the brothel. You just gave me a reason to start going back there.”

Vander is supporting your work at the brothel. This big softy will literally pop up there occasionally to be your client for the entire day. He will take advantage of all the different rooms the brothel has and the services it provides with you by his side. Though you both have one rule; Never let the kids know, no matter what. Even if they question your line of work, keep your mouth shut. The last thing they need is their minds being blown when they hear what you do for a living.

Arcane requests are currently open! :D

Likes and retweets are always appreciated! I love you all, be safe and have a good day! <3

[gauntlets-shot]

[ FIVE KISSES ]  send for five times our muses almost kissed and the one time they do. - Vi to Cait

A collection of 'five times' drabble prompts | accepting

Mun note: Under a read more to not clog up the dash lol

Caitlyn would be lying if she said she hadn't thought about kissing Vi one too many times. The woman sparked something in her she didn't know existed but perhaps that was just love. That's what this type of love felt like. Despite it all, the two never really had a proper moment to kiss each other, but the feelings were both mutual and magnetic. The first time they had almost kissed it was during their first date. It was simple, a small picnic while they watched the sunset. The warm, orangey beams of the sun captured Vi's features perfectly and deep in her heart, Caitlyn had decided this would be the time. This would be their first kiss. However, when their faces got close and their eyes were shut, Caitlyn faltered thanks to the feeling of Vi's breath on her lips and she quickly retreated. She buried her face in Vi's shoulder and let out a sigh. "Sorry," Was all Caitlyn peeped out. She wasn't ready.

The second time was during a charity event for the Kirammans. Caitlyn had dressed up not just to look presentable but also to woo Vi. She had never dressed up for a partner before so she was going to seize this opportunity. At the same time, Caitlyn didn't dress skimpy. There was a stigma to dress in barely anything to look good for your partner but Caitlyn knew she could achieve the same effect under her own terms. She ended up choosing a nice black dress that showed off her back. During the event, Caitlyn finally got some alone time with Vi as they found a restroom. As she went to fix her girlfriend's tie, Caitlyn thought about leaning in for a kiss but instead, she smiled shyly and brushed her hand over Vi's shoulder. She was so handsome and it made her melt.

They were at work the third time. Caitlyn had just settled into her job as the Sheriff of Piltover and despite the job coming with an endless amount of action, it also came with an endless amount of paperwork. Caitlyn was nearly pulling her hair by the end of the day but Vi had come in with a cup of tea to help pull her over. The gesture was small but because Caitlyn was stretched so thin, it meant the world to her. "Thank you, my love," Caitlyn had told her and by some sort of impulse, she leaned in to kiss her but shrunk down. "Sorry, I'm just so tired...thank you again." She felt awful for the rest of the night.

They were sharing Caitlyn's bed the fourth time. It was funny that they hadn't kissed yet but were both willing to take a nap together. However, that nap quickly turned into an overnight stay. Caitlyn was completely fine with it, she didn't mind that they both were too tired to do anything besides cuddle and get up for food. It was like they were in their own little oasis and Caitlyn wouldn't have it any other way. The morning after, Vi was bathed in the gentle glow of the sunrise and Caitlyn was reminded of their first date. She got the urge to kiss her beautiful, pink haired girlfriend once again but because she was still asleep, Caitlyn ended up just kissing her forehead. It was probably the boldest she'd be for a while.

Caitlyn had just come out of the shower around the fifth time. She was comfortable with being in a towel in front of Vi but she still wasn't comfortable enough to be in the shower with her. Caitlyn had let Vi shower first so her girlfriend was clean and clothed already. "Can you hand me my shirt?" She had asked as she gestured over to her bed and used another towel to dry her hair. Caitlyn hummed softly to herself but as she spun around, she ended up tripping and falling right on top of Vi. It was a scene straight out of a romance novel as Caitlyn gripped her towel and blushed at the red head. Their faces were close again but the sheriff quickly laughed off the moment and went to get dressed. "If you wanted to cuddle again, you should've said so," She teased.

The time that they actually kissed was probably during one of the most boring moments of Caitlyn's day but the kiss made up for it ten fold. Caitlyn finally had an off day but she was spending it cooped up in her room, reading books. Vi unfortunately wasn't off so Caitlyn spent the day alone until her shift was over. Her girlfriend had swung by around the end of the day and just as Caitlyn was going to greet her, Vi was leaning down to plant a kiss on her lips. Caitlyn forgot how to breathe once they made contact and her face turned even redder than her girlfriend's hair. "I..." Caitlyn started saying but Vi cut her off and smiled as she held a cupcake out to her. "Cupcake for my cupcake," Vi told her. "Shut up, you dork," Caitlyn had said with the widest smile on her face.

[heyyyharry]

In Another Life Series: Chapter 6 - The Princess

…in which Harry invited his assistant Y/N to a red carpet event, and his girlfriend doesn’t approve.

Series description: Y/N and Harry are soulmates and destined to meet in every lifetime, but no matter how many times they reincarnate and find each other again, they never seem to get it right.

AU: reincarnation, soulmate!harry, prince!harry, assistant!y/n, witch!y/n.

Chapter 5 - The Love Triangle: Harry gets back with his ex and Y/N thinks it’s a terrible idea.

.

Harry felt guilty, very guilty.

He knew he shouldn’t have submitted the song, which was intended to be one for his girlfriend, but then he ended up making it about Y/N - his assistant instead. He wondered if it counted as cheating - to write a song about another girl while you were already in a relationship. He would defend himself by saying it wasn’t actually a love song. The lyrics were just describing a girl who was sweet and kind and had a radiant smile, the girl who made him feel good about himself, the girl who made him feel real, the girl whom he couldn’t stop thinking about no matter how hard he’d tried…

Well, now it sounds like emotional cheating, Harry thought to himself as he buried his face into the palm of his hand. Then he heard Jeff calling out his name all the way from the hallway of the studio.

“This song is gonna be a hit! I just know it!” Jeff marched into the room with a bright smile on his face and pulled Harry into a bear hug. “I’m so proud of you!” 

He pulled away, the look on his face turned serious. “Now I need you to finalize it!”

Harry was gonna say he’d changed his mind and that he didn’t want to put this song on the album anymore. However, he didn’t even get a chance to speak.

“Baby!!!”

Harry and Jeff shot their heads to the door, before either of them could figure out what was going on, Harry’s girlfriend - Lillie barged into the room and literally jumped on top of Harry, securing her legs around his waist as she clung onto his like a koala bear.

“I listened to your new song about me! It’s amazing!”

Harry widened his eyes at the girl in his arms, who seemed thrilled to bits. He opened his mouth to speak, but it took him a moment to get the words out.

“M-My song? How did you have my new song, love?”

“Jeff sent it to me.”

“Jeff?!”

The manager immediately raised both hands up in the air as he defended himself by explaining, “Lillie’s also working on a new album, so I think it’s good PR to let her listen to your song. You know, so she’ll get inspired to write something based on the same idea, like a dialogue between two lovers? People love that shit!”

Harry was speechless, he could think of nothing to reply so he stayed quiet.

“I know you wanted to surprise me but when I received Jeff’s email I just had to play the audio!” Lillie told him excitedly and pecked him on the lips. “It was soooo good! People are gonna freak! I’m so proud of us!”

“Yeah…” Harry laughed nervously. He couldn’t tell her the truth now, could he? “I…I’m glad you loved the song.”

Lillie jumped off of Harry then grabbed his face and kissed him hard on the mouth, mumbling against his lips how much she loved him and she couldn’t wait to write a song to response to his song for her.

Now Harry felt like he’d committed an awful crime. He had his girlfriend believe the song was about her when it was not. What was worse was him not knowing how to fix this. If he removed it from his next album she would wonder why and would go to the bottom to find out the real reason. He wasn’t afraid he would get into trouble, he was worried for Y/N. She didn’t sign up for this.

“I’ve got to go now.” Lillie checked her watched and looked up, grinning at her man. “I’ll call you later?”

“But love, you just got here.” He hadn’t seen her in two days and she would just leave after showing up for five minutes!

“I stopped by to say I love the song, but I’m very busy, H. I’ve got an interview and a photoshoot later!” She told him, stroking his hair then laid a kiss on his cheek. “I love you!”

“I love you too,” he said, but the words sounded forced coming from his mouth. 

Lillie turned to say goodbye to Jeff then headed straight out of the door without taking a second glance back.

“I’ve never liked her,” Jeff admitted once the door was finally closed behind Lillie. 

Harry looked at his friend, very confused, at the same time, annoyed. “Then why did you send her the song? It wasn’t finished and I’m not even sure I want to put it on the album.”

“You are putting it on your next album!” Jeff did a finger gun to his friend. “Believe me, Harold. You’re gonna thank me later.”

Lillie walked out of the studio and her chauffeur and assistant were waiting right outside by her red Maserati. The assistant frantically ran to open the car door for her boss and gave Lillie the hot latte she’d asked for earlier.

“What the fuck is this?” Lillie cringed after taking a sip. She had to cover her mouth so as not to spit it out.

“You told me to bu—“

“I wanted it hot! Now it’s like the North Pole in my mouth! Do you want to get fired?!”

“No, I—“

“Never mind. It’s yours now.” Lillie handed the drink back to the anxious girl, moving the sunglasses she was wearing on the top of her head back down to cover her eyes. “I’ve got a new task for you, Caitlyn.”

“Yes, miss Xander?”

“I want you to do some ‘research’ on the girls my boyfriend’s been associated with recently. I think he has his eyes on someone else.”

“But…I thought he just wrote a song about you.”

Lillie snorted. “I’m not an idiot, Caitlyn. He was clearly describing a different person in those lyrics. I want to find out who. But be subtle, the last thing I need is for those magazines to sense something wrong with our relationship.”

“I’m on it.” Caitlyn quickly pulled out her phone and typed down a reminder. “Anything else?”

“Call Jake and tell him I won’t see him again.” Lillie rolls her eyes, sighing. “I tried so hard to convince Harry to take me back. If he ever finds out about Jake and I, I don’t know what he’ll do. I can’t have him break up with me before my world tour.”

“Okay…call Jake and break up with him for my boss…” Caitlyn mumbled as she typed the words down on her phone. “Anything else, miss?”

“No, you’re good to go. Call me when you get some good news.”

“I will. I won’t let you down, boss!” Caitlyn smiled widely, watching Lillie get into the car, roll up the window on her side and tell her chauffeur to drive away.

…

Princess Emilié was requested by the Prince to meet him in his library. Edward had never asked to see her in private before, so she was very excited. She knew they weren’t allowed to be intimate before their wedding night, but he’d been really cold towards her since they first met. If they were going to get married, that would need to change.

“You asked to see me, Your Highness?” Emilié spoke softly as the guards closed the door behind her. Edward was going through the books on the shelf as he heard her voice and turned around to greet her with a smile.

“Princess, you’re here.” 

He put the book in his hand down on the desk and approached her. She expected him to at least give her a kiss on the cheek, but he kept his hands locked behind his back and a considerable distance between the two of them. 

“I wanted to discuss with you about my mother’s birthday.”

“Oh, the Queen’s birthday is coming soon?”

“Yes, it’s the end of this month. I think I’m going to organize a ball for her.”

“That’d be very lovely.” Emilié smiled. “I’m sure Her Majesty will be so proud of you. I can help pick out the decorations and the food to serve our guests if you’d like.”

“Great! Thank you.” Edward nodded once before he told her, “My mother loves the color yellow, so I would have our tailor prepare a yellow gown for you for the ball. What do you think?”

“I’m very grateful, Your Highness.”

“Please, call me Edward.” He smiled at her. His green eyes sparkled and it made her heart sigh. He was the most beautiful man she’d ever seen.

“Do you want to tell me anything else?” She asked.

“No, that is all,” he answered right away, and she’d never been more disappointed. He told her she was free to go and she had no choice but to follow his order and left him alone.

Emilié stormed out of the room, fuming with rage. Her two maids who’d been waiting outside, clearly didn’t expect that reaction from their lady. They hurriedly walked faster to catch up with the Princess to ask if she was alright.

“That little whore! He’s probably planning on fucking her behind my back!” Emilié said between gritted teeth. She wanted to shout it out to the world but she knew she couldn’t. People had been whispering about her being a glass doll on the shelf for decoration, whereas that girl, who had been seen spending a lot of time with her future husband, was the one he truly loved. 

Emilié didn’t care whether the Prince loved her or not. It was her name and reputation and power that she worried about. Emilié would be Queen of England once Edward had been crowned King, but she couldn’t risk losing her title if he was to make that peasant girl his official mistress one day.

“I need you two to help me with one favour.” Emilié turned to her maids, eyes burning with fury. “I need you to find out who this girl, Ann, really is. She’s been living in the castle for a while now but all we know is her name and nothing else. I believe she’s got a lot to hide. If I can prove to Edward that she’s not the saint he thinks she is, he’ll have to remove her from Court.”

The two servants exchanged anxious looks before turning back to their Princess. One of them spoke, “if His Highness finds out about this, he’ll have us both beheaded, my lady.”

“Then make sure he won’t find out. I don’t care how, but I demand progress before the Queen’s birthday celebration.” 

The two maids swallowed hard when they see the apoplexy written on the Princess’ face. 

“That whore might have his heart wrapped around her dirty little fingers—” she clenched her jaw “—but I’m the one wearing the crown.”

…

Harry had a meeting with Jeff and his producer so he wasn’t home that afternoon. However, he’d texted his assistant to come over and try on the dress she’d be wearing to the movie premiere that night. 

Y/N arrived at 4PM sharp because she was never late. Harry’s house cleaner let her in and told her he’d left her dress in his closet. Y/N later found out it wasn’t a regular closet. Harry’s ‘closet’ was in fact twice the size of her bedroom. It was like Narnia in there. 

She wanted to touch everything, but at the same time she would get in so much trouble for even laying a finger on one of his expensive velvet blazers. So she just admired the masterpieces that he would call ‘his clothes’ from afar and only took what was given to her.

It was a simple black dress hung in the middle of the room. It wasn’t complexly designed, but it felt expensive against her fingertips. Now she was afraid to show up at the event wearing a dress that was probably worth more than her whole bank account could afford.

After a moment struggling with the zipper, she finally put the dress on properly. Y/N stood in front of the mirror, inspecting her own reflection with a small happy smile on her face. She felt beautiful, expensive, and powerful. Then she began to wonder whether Harry felt the same way every time he put on one of his fancy suits, or he was already used to the feeling that he felt completely normal. Maybe she would ask him the next time they met.

Y/N suddenly heard someone open and close the door as they came in. She assumed it was just Harry’s house cleaner. But she was wrong. She nearly freaked when she turned her head and saw Harry’s girlfriend, the famous and beautiful Lillie Xander standing with her arms crossed, watching Y/N with an eyebrow raised.

“Oh…Hi!” Y/N exhaled a nervous laugh.

“Hi,” said Lillie with a friendly smile.

“Wow…uh…You’re Lillie Xander, Harry’s girlfriend…You look even prettier in real life,” Y/N blurted out. She knew she sounded dumb but she couldn’t help it. She had got to get used to seeing celebrities now that she was Harry Styles’ assistant. 

Taking a deep breath, Y/N rubbed her palms together and walked towards Lillie, extending her arm.

“Nice to meet you I’m—“

“Y/N, Harry’s assistant. I know,” Lillie replied but she just stared at Y/N’s hand with no intention of shaking it. The poor girl had to withdrew her arm awkwardly back to her side.

“Uhm…my flatmate…she’s a big fan of yours.” Y/N giggled as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “She knows everything about you.”

“Aww, that’s sweet.” Lillie put both hands on her left chest and sighed happily. “I love my fans so much.”

“I’m…sure you do. I’m sorry. It must be weird to find me here, but I swear I’m only trying on the dress for tonight’s event then I’m gone.”

“That I also know. Harry told me you were coming with him.” 

Harry didn’t tell Lillie anything. She’d learnt it from her assistant who’d done a pretty good job of digging the information from the people from Harry’s team. 

The singer forced a smile, putting both hands on her hips and straightened her back. “I feel so bad for not attending the premiere with him as I’m so busy with my schedules. That must be why he asked you to come.”

“Oh…” Y/N nodded then looked down to smooth a wrinkle on the hem of her dress, which caught Lillie’s attention and made her chuckle.

“Pretty.”

“Thank you.” Y/N’s lips curved into a soft smile. However, Lillie replied to that with a sarcastic laugh, which made the poor girl gawk in confusion.

“I didn’t mean you. I meant the dress,” said the singer as she put a finger to her lip and took a slow walk around Y/N. Her intense stare began to make the assistant feel very self-conscious.

“My boyfriend really knew how to pick out a dress, didn’t he?” She stopped, facing Y/N with a smirk on her face. “And he also knows how to make a poor little girl think she can be someone she’s not.”

“Excuse me?” Y/N had her eyebrows furrowed, yet the look on Lillie’s face remained unchanged. The singer took a step forward, causing the assistant take a step back.

“Harry inviting you to a red carpet event with him doesn’t mean he cares about you,” Lillie said under her breath, just loud and clear enough for the girl standing in front of her to hear. “It’s like charity work for him really, because he’s…Harry. He’s so charming that women cannot help but fall at his feet. Unfortunately, he’s in love with me. So whatever fantasies you have inside that little head of yours, they’re not coming true.”

“Lillie, I’m only his assista—“

“Right.” Lillie stood up straight and crossed her arms in front of her chest. “You’re nothing but an employee. That’s why you’re not going to the movie premiere tonight.”

“I am. He asked me to.”

Lillie furrowed her eyebrows as she snorted. Y/N had no idea why she felt intimidated by Lillie. In fact, she could just call Harry right now. Y/N almost reached for her phone on the table by her side, but she immediately got rid of that thought. It would be Lillie’s words against hers, and she already knew who he would believe.

“Wait until the whole world know that you’re a home-wrecker then.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I can just tip off some online magazines about you trying to steal my boyfriend, give them a bunch of money and they’ll write anything.”

“You—“

“But I really don’t have to go that far, I know you don’t want to drag Harry into a scandal. So why not be a good girl and walk away, hmm?” Lillie reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind Y/N’s ear, the smirk lingered on her face as she knew Y/N had nothing else to say.

This had never been a competition, but she won anyway.

“You can wear that dress and parade around for as long as you’d like, but—,” Lillie said, staring Y/N down. “Sweetie, it’s never gonna make you a princess.”

..

“Going somewhere?” 

The voice nearly made Ann’s heart jump out of her chest. She looked up from the piles of clothes on her bed and saw Princess Emilié standing at the door. 

While the girl was still speechless, the Princess slowly closed the door behind her and marched up to the middle of the room, scanning her eyes around, silently judging.

“What are you doing here?”

“That’s not something you should ask the future Queen of England.” Emilié snorted, yet it didn’t change Ann’s attitude towards her.

“I know no Queen but Edward’s mother. Until you’re legally married to Edward, you’re just a French Princess living at England’s Court.”

“How dare you call him Edward?”

“I’ve called him Edward since the beginning.” Ann rolled her eyes and carried on packing her belongings so she could leave before sunset. 

That answer really made Emilié’s blood boil. It took Edward more than a month to decide she could call him by his name, and this peasant girl had been doing so since the beginning? She felt disrespected!

“Are you leaving?”

“Yes.”

This answer, however, made Emilié elated. She couldn’t help the broad smile on her face as she took a step closer to where Ann was standing. “Did Edward ask you to leave?”

“No. It was my decision. If you’re here to tell me to stay away from your fiancé, you’ve got what you wish for. Now please leave.”

Emilié dropped her jaw and raised both of her eyebrows in reaction to what Ann had just said to her. “You cannot speak to me like that!”

“With all due respect, Your Highness, you haven’t been kind to me either. I honestly have no idea why you hate me so much.” Ann chuckled sarcastically as she inquired the girl in front of her. “What have I ever done to you?”

“Besides trying to seduce my fiancé!? Don’t even think I don’t know you’re in love with him.”

“Edward is my friend! If he doesn’t love you, it’s not my responsibility!”

“Oh he loves me.” Emilié snorted, trying to cover up the fact that those words couldn’t even convince her. 

“I’m going to be his wife. You? Do you actually believe he cares about you at all? You’re only here because he’s too kind to send away the person who saved his life. Our engagement is not only valid, but it also provides England with a strong alliance. So if he had to choose between you and England, Edward would not think twice to offer your life for the sakes of his people.”

“You don’t know him,” Ann spoke calmly because she knew her composure drove the Princess insane.

“And you do?” Emilié took a step forward, causing Ann to take a step back. “I’m the one who makes love to him every night, while you’re here alone in this room fantasizing about him.”

Ann tightened her fists. The thought of Edward and Emilié in bed caused her very much discomfort if she must admit, yet she just took a deep breath, kept her head held high and replied with confidence, “if he loved you that much, then you wouldn’t be here giving me empty threats, would you?”

Emilié opened her mouth to fight back, but she couldn’t think of anything to say. She had lost, even if she wouldn’t admit it. 

A girl like her, brought up in a royal family, so used to being spoilt and winning every game she’d ever played, couldn’t accept the fact that she had lost to a girl with no name. 

“I know you have secrets.”

Ann almost froze when she heard those words, and the look of terror which flashed across her face didn’t get past the eyes of Emilié. So it was true, the Princess put on a smirk, Ann was indeed hiding something.

“Secrets?” Ann squinted her eyes, still she was unable to hide the fear written on her face.

“I’m going to find out who you really are, and when the truth is out, you’re going to wish you were dead.” 

Emilié turned her heels as soon as she finished then headed straight out of the room, leaving Ann behind utterly shocked and afraid. If her identity got out, not only would the other witches be in danger, Edward would as well. 

She had to leave now, as fast as she could.

…

Y/N was bored.

She couldn’t concentrate on the Netflix movie on her laptop because she shouldn’t have been home that night. She was supposed to be at the movie premiere. 

She was supposed to be with Harry. 

It was a weird thing to say, but she missed him, her boss. That came out so wrong yet it was undeniable he was more than just ‘a boss’. She could lie to anyone but herself that she didn’t have feelings for him, when in face she did, more than her anticipation. She knew he would never think about her that way now that he was in a relationship. However, it wouldn’t hurt if she didn’t tell anyone about her feelings for him. Well, now that Y/N thought about it, maybe the only person she would hurt was herself.

“Why the fuck are you still home?”

Y/N nearly threw herself off the bed when she looked up from the laptop screen and saw Lisa.

“You should’ve knocked!”

“Why?” Lisa gave her flatmate a confused look and sat down on the edge of the bed, tossing her handbag down on the floor. “I was at work, going through Tumblr, expecting to see photos of you and your hot boss being hot on the red carpet but no, Lillie fucking Xander was by his side and I came home to find you in your PJ looking like a disappointment?!”

“Lillie went to the movie premiere?” Y/N laughed wryly. “She told me she wasn’t going.”

“The bitch lied! Ugh, I can’t believe you let her win after the shit she said to you this afternoon!”

“This is not about winning, this is about Harry.” Y/N’s eyes were shifted to her lap, watching her fingers toying with the hem of her PJ shirt. “I…I care about him.”

“If you care about him, please do me a favor and steal him away from that bratty Lillie bitch.”

Lisa’s reaction to the news surprised Y/N but at the same time amused her a whole lot. 

“Lis, I thought you were a fan of her.”

“Not anymore. That bitch messed with my best friend, she’s going to hell, rich people hell, if that’s even a thing.”

Y/N chuckled and rolled her eyes. “I almost asked for her autograph to surprise you…well…before she told me I was worthless and threatened to publicly humiliate me.”

“I don’t want her autograph!” Lisa cringed, but after a second thought she changed her mind. “Okay, maybe I do, I can sell it online and take you out for dinner.”

“I love you, Lis!” Y/N threw her arms around the older girl’s neck and pulled her flatmate into a hug. 

Lisa hugged her back just as tight, saying she loved her too, then pulled away, looking slightly puzzled. “But wait, did you tell Harry you weren’t going because of what his girlfriend said to you?”

“No, I told him I was sick.” 

“You sure look like you are.” Lisa sighed and rose from the bed then told Y/N she was gonna take a bath and then make dinner for the two of them.

But Lisa didn’t go for any longer than fifteen minutes. Suddenly, Y/N heard her flatmate scream out loud from the living, causing her to almost run out to check if her friend was okay. The moment Y/N set her feet down on the floor, she heard a familiar male voice speaking to Lisa outside.

“I’m here to see Y/N.”

Y/N hurriedly ran to close and lock her bedroom door as Lisa told Harry that she was in her room, too sick to come out. Standing with her back against the door, Y/N prayed that Harry would just leave after he’d heard that news, even though she knew someone like him would never.

There was a knock which soon followed by Harry’s raspy voice.

“Y/N, can I come in?”

…

“Ann, it’s me, Edward! Can I come in?”

Ann started freaking out when she heard his voice outside her small cottage. She ran to the door, placing her hands on it, trying to debate with herself whether she should just let him in or send him away.

“What are you doing here? Why did they let you go into the woods this late at night?!” She asked.

The Prince laughed as he heard her. Oh, how she loved the sound of that. She missed him, and she wanted to see his face, even though she knew it would kill her to look at him knowing he would never be hers. 

He shouldn’t have come here.

“I snuck out like I did last time.”

“And last time you ended up in a hole!” Ann laughed quietly, resting her forehead against the wooden door. “Edward, you must leave, it’s not safe here.”

“I’m not leaving until you come with me.”

“Edward, ple—“

“Tell me the truth. Why did you leave?” His voice sounded almost desperate, it broke her heart. She wanted to believe he cared about her, that he loved her as much as she loved him. Nevertheless, she couldn’t feed herself more hope for a love that would never be true. She must be insane to even think there was a way for them to be together.

“I already told you the truth.”

“No you haven’t, at least not all of it.”

She left, partly because of the prophecy that if she stayed she would put her own life at risk, mostly because she couldn’t stand watching him marrying another woman. She’d rather be dead then have her heart broken by him.

“Just—Just go, Edward. Go home.”

“I would leave everything behind for you, you know it.”

“Don’t say things like that!”

“Why?” 

She stayed quiet. If she’d said another word, she would burst into tears.

“I…I love you, Ann.”

Ann thought she’d misheard him. This couldn’t be truth. 

Did he just really say he loved me? He must be out of his mind! Said the voice inside her head.

As if the Prince could read her mind, he immediately argued with her thought, “I’m not insane. I love you. Why don’t you say something?”

She bit her bottom lip, trying to steady her breath. 

After that, she finally opened the door. 

There he was, standing right in front of her, as beautiful as ever. His green eyes flickered in the moonlight when he saw her face. They held each other’s gaze for a long moment, and Edward couldn’t stand the silence for another second.

“Please…say something,” he pleaded, needing to hear her tell him how she felt about him. He needed to know if he should stay or head back to the castle with a broken-heart. 

Ann felt her hands trembling and her breath heavy. Fear etched on her face as she stared at him. 

“I…”

Don’t Ann. No, don’t say it

“I love you, too.” 

She’d said it. 

The moment those words escaped, she felt relieved instantly, like a heavy weight had been lifted from her chest and she could finally breathe again. However, she had a feeling this would be the start for a lot of troubles lying ahead. 

Edward, on the other hand, had the brightest smile on his face, he was on edge of tears when he heard her say those four words. He took a step closer, reaching out to hold her face gently between the palms of his hand, treating her like glass, as if she was delicate and breakable.

“Am I allowed to kiss you?” He asked, only a breath away from tasting her lips. 

She didn’t hesitate before nodding her head constantly. 

And they kissed, for the first time. 

It was sweet, because she loved him and she’d been dreaming of this moment for the longest time, yet it was bitter, for she was doing what Madam Maggie had warned her not to. 

Little did she knew, that kiss had turned her whole world upside down. 

…

“Y/N,” Harry called his assistant again, knocking on her door a few more times because she didn’t answer him. “I know you’re still awake, your lights are on.”

Y/N squeezed her eyes shut and clenched her jaw, thinking how stupid she was to not turning off the lights. He would’ve left if he’d thought she was sleeping.

“Harry, shouldn’t you be at the after party right now?”

“I ditched Jeff and went to see you. Are you alright?”

Y/N ignored his concern and carried on with another question. “What about Lillie? I heard she was going too.”

“Lillie was only there to walk the red carpet. She disappeared right after.”

Y/N knew it! Lillie only wanted her photos on the news walking the red carpet with the love of her life. She acted like she was so besotted with him but in reality all she cared about was his fame and her own.

“Y/N, are you alright?” Harry repeated the question, pulling Y/N out of her own thoughts.

“I’m doing better,” she replied, smiling a bit at how caring he sounded. 

She wondered if he’d showed up because it was a right thing to do or he really cared about her wellbeing.

“Can I come in? I brought you soup.”

“Uh…No! Don’t come in.” Y/N backed away from the door and pretended to cough. “The doctor said I’m contagious. I don’t want you to be sick as well!”

“I’m sure it’s not that bad, please let me see you.”

“Just leave the soup in the kitchen. I’ll…I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Harry released a laugh when he heard her. “You’re not going to work tomorrow if you’re still sick, Y/N.”

“I always recover very quick, don’t you worry.”

“If you’re still unwell tomorrow, I’m taking you to my doctor.”

“You don’t have to.”

“That’s the least I can do for my assistant, right?” 

She sighed, not knowing what to say. She wished he hadn’t been so kind to her, maybe then she wouldn’t be feeding herself false hope for a relationship they could only have in her dreams. 

“Y/N?” Harry broke the silence between the two of them after a few seconds. 

She wished she could see his face, maybe then she could guess what was on his mind.

“Hmm?” Was her replied. 

He didn’t answer right away, so she assumed he was debating whether or not to tell her something. She felt her heart pounding inside her chest.

“I…” he began, taking a long pause, she wondered why. “What I want to say is…”

“Yeah?” She took a step forward, placing a hand flat on the door. She wished what he was about to tell her was exactly what she’d been wanting to hear.

However, this wasn’t a movie.

“I wish you had gone to the premiere with me.”

“Oh…” She couldn’t say she wasn’t disappointed, yet she felt like it was better this way. So she faked a laugh, he couldn’t see her face to tell she was only pretending. 

“It’s okay, there would be other events for me to attend with you.”

“Yes…Uhm…I guess I’m going now,” he said at last. 

She’d been waiting for that sentence ever since he got here, but now she didn’t want him to leave.

“Okay.” It was a lie. She wasn’t okay, not even a little bit.

“I’ll see you tomorrow? If you feel better…”

“Okay.” Stop saying okay, what is wrong with you?!  The voice inside her head scolded herself as she shut her eyes and exhaled deeply.

“Goodnight, Y/N. Call me if you need anything.”

“Goodnight, Harry,” she replied. 

Y/N heard his footsteps fading away and finally his muffled voice speaking to Lisa, saying his goodbye to her flatmate. Now that he couldn’t hear her anymore, she could finally confess what she knew he wasn’t allowed to know.

“Harry…” She whispered under her breath, for only herself to hear. “I’m in love with you.”

[apple-grass-and-smiles]

Final Conclusions

Ten conclusions people came to about Marcos Diaz and Lorna Dane, in reverse order. 

10. Esmé

Esmé takes a large amount of pride in being able to read people. Granted, it’s helped by being able to sense their thoughts, but even without her power she thinks she’d have been pretty good at it. But even a novice would have been able to figure out that what Marcos and Lorna had between them was love. And when she realizes that, as she watched him pull his girlfriend to his side as Esmé recounted the Hound girl’s horrific story, she rejoices. Because people who are in love are people who can be manipulated. People who are so in love that in a moment of sadness they can put aside their differences and hug are people who have something to lose and therefore something worth fighting for.

Yes, Esmé thought, I can use this.

And she does. She makes Lorna have nightmares and taunts her and makes it clear that an extreme stance now could mean Marcos and the baby being safe later on. And Lorna fall for each and every one of the deceptions and half-truths. Esmé doesn’t lie. She believes almost everything she’s saying. Yes, something needs to be done to stop the hate that mutants have been facing and she truly does think bringing down Campbell is the way to do that, but what she honestly doesn’t know is if Marcos will take Lorna back once she’s done what she had already set her mind to. Once upon a time, when fairytales seemed like they could be real life Esmé might have believed that true love could conquer and that the two lovebirds would be able to reconcile in the new world she, her sisters, and Lorna were building. But Esmé Frost had stopped believing in fairy tales a long time ago.

Esmé’s final conclusion: They may be in love, but no love is that strong.

9. Andy

Andy is a typical teenage boy and that more than anything is the reason it takes him so long to realize that Marcos and Lorna aren’t just dating but are instead head-over-heels crazy for each other. And really he only figures it out because he hears them say it. He’s 15 and a bit preoccupied with not dying for goodness’ sake! He’s not focusing on people’s romantic feelings. But even he can pick up on hints that people are in love with each other, especially when the hints are them saying those exact words.

Sure, there were lots of signs that they were probably in love before the day it finally clicked for him. They were dating. A kid was on the way. Marcos had gone crazy trying to get Lorna back. Lorna talked about Marcos a lot. And they spent a ton of time together. But Andy knew people at school who did all of those things too who then went and broke up. It was sad, sure, but it was also perfectly reasonable for him to think that maybe these two would end up just co-parents a year down the line with no romantic feelings between them.

He and the other kids are in training when it happens. First, Lorna nearly chucks a small pot at Marcos’ head, which is really funny for all involved (except maybe Marcos, but who knows for sure that he wasn’t laughing on the inside?) and brings an abrupt stop to the lesson. Some sort of mission is going on today. Andy isn’t very clear on the specifics but he knows that Marcos, John, and Shatter are heading out soon to try and meet up with a contact of some sort. The couple steps aside of the group of teens (“Lauren, you’re up. Try and see if you can get Andy to stop something without bringing the building down.”) and proceed to talk in hushed voices. He hears bits and pieces about the baby, training, being home before dawn, and the importance of not being spotted. All pretty normal stuff. But then Marcos says he loves Lorna and she says it back and it sounds nothing like the way kids at school throw around the terms or how people in movies might say it. It sounds like two people trying to put their hearts into three syllables, both painfully aware that eight letters can’t encapsulate their true feelings. It sounds a lot like a promise of forever. A promise that tomorrow they’ll still be together and that the same will be true in a year and for every day beyond that. It sounds exactly like when his parents tell him that they love him. And if there is one thing he knows it’s that if someone is talking like that, they’re never going to let go of each other.

Andy’s final conclusion? Sometimes when people say they love you they really, really mean it. And don’t get hit in the face with a spatula.

8. Lauren

Lauren is well-versed in the art of spotting crushes and relationships thanks to nearly four full years of high school drama. It’s not so much a skill as much as a means of survival. But the one feeling you don’t really see in high school is love. So it’s not until she sees her parents hugging a few days after being reunited that it clicks. Marcos and Lorna didn’t have the same vibe as the couples at school or the same look in their eyes as she had seen on countless faces as they looked at their crushes. Nope. Lorna and Marcos held each other like her parents did. Which meant only one thing: love.

“Hey, Mom. Can I ask you a question?” Lauren asked one day as she sat nearby while Caitlyn finished making the daily lunch of macaroni and cheese.

“Yeah. What’s up kiddo?”

“Do you think a relationship could survive all of, you know, this?” she asked, gesturing to the mutants around them.

Caitlyn turned away from the pot she’d been stirring and sat down on a chair near Lauren with a quizzical look on her face. “That’s an odd question. What brings that up?”

“I was just thinking about Lorna and Marcos. They’re obviously in love and I was just wondering if they had any chance of making it. Everything is just so crazy here and their lives are even more dangerous than ours and I’m certain having a baby on the way makes things even harder.”

“Honestly, I don’t know if they can make it. I want to think so, but, like you said, this isn’t an easy way to live. But what I can tell you is that I think they’re family and, just like us, it’ll take a lot more than this mutant insanity to ruin that. Now go and get your brother and dad for lunch. I put canned chili in the mac and cheese this time so it’s not a meal to be missed.”

Lauren’s final conclusion: Only two incredibly strong people could get through this still in love. She hoped Lorna and Marcos were strong enough.

7. Caitlyn

Caitlyn knows that the man sitting next to her in the car is in love as soon as he calls Lorna is his family. It clicks instantly because those are the words she’s been saying over and over as she tries to convince people to help her save her husband: “He’s my family.” And now here was a young man who was saying the exact same thing about this girl whose fate so resembled Reed’s.

Marcos’ eyes are focused on the road but she can see the desperation beginning to seep into them as he thinks about his partner who, for all he knows, he may never see again. No, Caitlyn reprimands herself because if Marcos doesn’t ever see Lorna again then there is almost no chance that she’ll see Reed and Caitlyn Strucker refuses to believe that such a thing could ever happen.

“She seems like a wonderful woman,” Caitlyn offers up like a life preserver to Marcos as he struggles to keep from drowning in his thoughts.

“She is. She’s amazing.”

“What’s she like?” Caitlyn is determined to keep him talking and focused. She knows just too well just how dangerous it can be to allow one’s mind to wander to dark places and she needs Marcos at his best if they’re going to pull this off and get back to Clarice before she destroys the Underground entirely.

“She’s… I don’t know. She’s like a force of nature. If she thinks something needs to be done she’ll do whatever it takes to accomplish it. She loves people more than anyone I’ve ever known and if you’re lucky enough for her to love you then she’ll do anything to make sure you’re safe. She’s smart too. So many of our missions have only worked because she’s planned them. She can be funny, when she wants to be. But mostly she’s just so strong. She’s determined and nothing can break her and…,” Marcos’ voice peters out as they approach the hospital.

Turning to the young man sitting next to her, Caitlyn reaches out a hand and places it on his arm. “Hey. We’ll get them back. Lorna and Reed.” Marcos offers a small smile in exchange as he parks and gets out of the car. When he looks back to make sure that Caitlyn is following him up to the hospital steps she catches a look of pure determination in his eyes.

Caitlyn Strucker’s final conclusion? Marcos Diaz will do anything to get Lorna Dane back and she never want to see what happens to someone who comes between them.

6. Reed

Reed Strucker had seen enough of cases of unrequited love in his life to know that just because one person was in love didn’t mean that the person they cared for loved them back. He’d also seen more than his fair share of people who got pregnant and didn’t stay with their partner. And it was for those two reasons that he didn’t assume that what Ms. Dane had with her child’s father was love. Sure, she refused to give him and the Mutant Underground up to Sentinel Services and nearly killed a police officer who had shot him but she could have just been loyal to her cause and someone who was clearly part of her team. Did her actions maybe suggest that she loved him? Sure. But he didn’t have enough evidence to pass a true judgement and expected to never have the information necessary to do so.

That is, until a little over 24 hours late when he found himself sitting across from Marcos Diaz, begging for help from the organization that he had just been trying to destroy. It’d been a long day.

And here was the thing, any doubts Reed may have had about the feelings between the two young adults fled from his mind when Diaz put his glowing hand right above Reed’s arm. That wasn’t the move of a casual boyfriend. Marcos was not making an idle threat. That was something that he would have done for Caitlyn or Andy or Lauren. That bespoke true love. Here was someone who was willing to risk everything for a girlfriend he had no guarantee of ever seeing again. Diaz had no way of being sure that Reed wasn’t actually working as a spy trying to get him in prison. There was no promise that Reed was actually a father with two children who had revealed mutant abilities the night before. And even if that was the case, Diaz had to realize the potential consequences of threatening someone who only a little while earlier was trying to prosecute his girlfriend. A simple boyfriend would have made some idle threats. But Diaz had a burning hot hand inches from Reed’s skin and that was the move of someone who was desperately trying to reunite with the love of his life.

Reed’s final conclusion: Don’t ever get between Marcos Diaz and Lorna Dane.

5. Clarice

Clarice felt horrible when she realized how close Marcos and Lorna actually were. Sure, she felt bad beforehand but this was on a new level. She had separated two people who were clearly very, very in love. How did she know they were in love? She saw it all over Marcos’ face. Heard it in his voice. Recognized it in the purposeful way he moved. Everything about his entire being screamed of a shattered piece of a whole that had been ripped from their other half. She knew the look. Not because she’d been that half but because she never had been.

Clarice Fong was pretty certain that she’d felt just about ever feeling on the spectrum. She’d felt joy and anger and heartbreak and contentment. But she’d never really felt that sort of love where you were certain that the whole universe had conspired to bring you and this other person together. But clearly Marcos Diaz had because everything about him was new to Clarice and that earth-shattering love was the only thing left that she hadn’t seen.

He was so desperate. That was the thing that stuck out the most to her. The way his shoulders slouched and his voice scratched and his eyes searched every room as if maybe, just maybe, he hadn’t heard her slip in a back door. Only she wasn’t ever there. And then his eyes would still and fall down to his hands, as if praying that maybe if he stared long enough her hand would appear in his.

Clarice’s final conclusion: Never fall in love with someone and then lose them.

4. John

John figured it out because Marcos told him.

“I think I might be in love with her,” Marcos had muttered one day.

John hadn’t really been listening (still wasn’t). “In love with who?”

“Say that a bit louder next time; I don’t think she heard you. C’mon, man.”

Much quieter this time,  “Sorry. It’s just not something you expect to hear.” A pause. “What makes you say that anyway.”

“I don’t know. I just… I don’t know. We’ve been together for half a year now and things are going great and I think I’ve loved her for forever but now it’s finally all clicking and now I’m aware of the fact that I’m in love with her and now I have no idea what to do,” Marcos looked at John with pleading eyes as he finished his speech.

It really shouldn’t have surprised John to hear. Afterall, the two had been nearly inseparable for the past six months. They ate together; they attended meetings as a couple; they tried to be on the same missions.  If you couldn’t find Marcos you just looked for Lorna because she was never far behind and vice versa. They had truly moved from being a pair to being two parts of the same, incredible whole. In hindsight, John should have known they were in love long before either had a chance to confide in him.

“So are you going to tell her that?”

“That I love her? I guess at some point I’m going to have to, but I just… What if she doesn't love me? What if I ruin everything? What we’ve got now is so good. I don’t want to destroy it just because I couldn’t keep my mouth shut.”

“Have you considered that maybe she’s thinking the same things right now?” John asked, looking at his friend with only a hint of pity in his eyes.

“No…”

Rolling his eyes, John responded, “Go and talk to her, you idiot.” And with that Marcos Diaz turned and nearly ran to find Lorna Dane.

John’s final conclusion: Love made people rather stupid.

3. Sonya

Sonya knew they were in love when she saw the way Lorna smiled at Marcos when he wasn’t looking. It wasn’t a bright smile, one with wattage that could outshine the sun, but a quiet one full of contentment and peace. And it was exactly the sort of smile that Sonya herself had when she looked at Johnny. And that’s when Sonya’s “best friend mode” kicked in.

The two women had only known each other for a couple of years but it had been enough time for her to see just how much Lorna shouldered on a daily basis. Between being one of the leaders of the Atlanta Underground and trying to deal with her mental illness without the help of medication (none of them could just swing by their local Walgreens and pick up drugs as needed), plus training kids to survive in an increasingly hateful world, Lorna was, in a word, swamped. Sure, Marcos had been a godsend in the beginning. He brought some much needed manpower to the Underground and he and Johnny had become a nearly unstoppable team. Overall, Sonya liked him a lot, but she also knew firsthand the dangers of a heartbreak. She’d seen in dozens of times in the women at the shelters. Women who, despite having been beaten and hurt over and over again, couldn’t help but cry because at one point they’d thought they’d been loved and now they were having to realize that their abuser’s feelings were far from love. Sonya didn’t expect Marcos to start beating Lorna, but she wouldn’t put it past him to end the relationship one day and to leave Sonya with a betrayed Lorna. (With a Lorna who looked at Marcos the way Sonya looked at Johnny, with a deep sense of longing and tears not far behind.) Sonya believed in her friend’s ability to overcome anything but picking yourself up after being in love and then losing that love was a messy and painful business and no one had time for that.

And then Sonya turns to see Lorna laughing at something Marcos had just said as he pulls her in for a hug and she can’t help but hope beyond hope that it all works out.

Sonya’s final conclusion: Marcos better not break Lorna’s heart or he was a dead man.

2. Lorna

Truthfully Lorna doesn’t really know when she actually fell in love. All she knows is that one day she was sitting there laughing with Marcos about something stupid and it hit her like a slap to the face. This wasn’t a crush. It wasn’t infatuation or just someone she really liked. This was it. This was Love with a capital ‘l’ and all the joy and sadness and fear that came with it.

In her head she swore like a sailor.

Not because she wasn’t happy or because she didn’t think Marcos was a great person or anything but because how could he, a rather exceptionally well-adjusted (all things considered) man ever love someone like her? Here she was, a terrifying mess of a person who was barely avoiding drowning in her duties with the Underground and rarely felt mentally stable. And there he was, a person who literally shone and would project rainbow lights onto the ceiling of their room when she was manic and couldn’t sleep and would hold her when she cried for hours on end until there was no more tears left to shed. How on Earth could two such completely different people in such a chaotic world ever dream of making this work?

She was yanked out of her reverie by Marcos’ voice. “Babe?”

“Huh?”

“Did you hear a word I said?”

“Yeah. Sorry. Meet with Daniel at 4:00 sharp to get the plans for the Sentinel Services building. Sorry. I was just thinking.”

At that Marcos gave her a look that wordlessly asked her to share what thoughts had dragged her away from him. And it was that look in that moment that sealed her fate, for better or for worse. That look that showed that he wanted to follow what was happening in her head whether it was good, bad, or incredibly ugly. He wanted to hear her thoughts and be told about the demons that ran through her mind oh so often. It made her stomach flutter with joy because maybe, just maybe, this could be something wonderful.

Lorna’s final conclusion: She was going to do whatever she had to to keep this going.

1. Marcos

Marcos fell so hard and fast that he doesn't even remember the 'falling' part, just the 'in love' part that he's found himself living in. And it is that last part that has brought him to a bar in the middle of nowhere with just a small bag of belongings and a deep-seated fear that he is about to be taken out by the cartel, despite promises from Carmen’s father that he could leave the family on good terms (Carmen was far less agreeable when he broke the news to her that he was leaving).

The drink he was nursing was doing absolutely nothing to take the edge off and he was bouncing his leg rapidly, trying to release at least a fraction of the nervous energy inside of him. In truth, he knew how stupid all of this was. He’d met with Lorna and John only a month ago and had helped them out a couple times since but he’d been adamant that he was not, under any circumstances, leaving the cartel. He’d come up with excuse after excuse and Lorna, with her quick wit and sharp tongue had called him out on each one. It was too dangerous, he’d say. She’d retort that the Underground protects their own and he’d be safe. Carmen would never be okay with it he’d sigh. She’d roll her eyes and promise him that truly she could find him another girlfriend if that was his hang up about the whole thing. He’d make a comment about it just not being a good fit and she would get up from the table and walk away because “that was the most ridiculous excuse ever”. (Years and years later, when Aurora is older and the world is a fair bit brighter and they’re not running and hiding anymore, Marcos will decide that it must have been during those early arguments where he fell for Lorna.) John hadn’t ever pushed Marcos to join them, but Lorna had pushed incessantly until he’d found himself laying in bed with Carmen desperately trying to come up with an actual reason to not leave. He didn’t love Carmen; they both knew that. It would be dangerous, but he knew that he could take care of himself if he needed to. And he did enjoy the work he’d done with mutants in the past. He’d liked the way the work had made him feel like he was making a difference. That’s it, he’d thought, that’s why I want to leave. But that hadn’t felt right either. There was something else. You mean someone else, a small voice in his head whispered. It wasn’t until he’d woken up with images of black hair and green nails in his mind that he’d begun to accept that maybe his heart was telling him it was time to go.

And that’s how he’d ended up sipping a truly horrendous drink in a bar at 4:00 in the afternoon on a Thursday, ready to leave the cartel to join a group of mutants.

Then Lorna Dane walked through the door and gave him that smile of hers and he corrected himself. He was leaving the cartel for the chance of a future with someone better doing something good, regardless of the cartel and his past and his flaws and the fact that this was all an enormous risk that could blow up in his face at any moment.

Marcos’ final conclusion: He was doomed. But maybe it’d be worth it.

[lolsmurfaccounts]

Funniest League of Legends Jokes on the Internet

When it comes to jokes, there are plenty of then out there, but they are even funnier when they are about our favorite games League of Legends is no different, and the bright and witty minds of the internet have come together to compile one of the largest collection of jokes about a fandom that is currently out there Just do a quick search for “League of Legends” jokes and you will find plenty of websites that feature them.

Dig a little deeper by hanging out on LOL forums and talking to people in-game and you’ll come across many more jokes But you don’t have to do all that work to get the biggest chuckle from LOL jokes, because we’ve scoured the internet and found the best League of Legends jokes out there, and then used super-secret-sciency formulas to rank and categorize them and have listed them here You don’t have to hang out LOLNexus and wait for the perfect joke to come along All you have to do is read below Here’s one to get you started:

Q: Why does Teemo live in a small house?

A: He doesn’t need mushroom

Best Q & A League of Legend Jokes

Q & A jokes are the most popular of the jokes out there for League of Legends players. Plus, these funny League of Legends jokes are all about characters in the game.

That seems to be the most creative outlet when it comes to creating these jokes. Lot os these funniest LOL jokes are the same ones that you will have made with your friends, but the Q & A section is definitely the biggest here. We have saved some of the best worst Q & A jokes for a lower section, but you should be able to get a laugh out of most of these.

There were a lot more jokes out there than just these, but we had to skip a few of them because the touched on racial or overly sensitive topics, or were simply sexual in nature (and in bad taste as well). Here are the very best of the Q & A jokes that we were able to find.

Q: Why didn’t Sivir win the spelling bee?

A: Because she could only spell shield

Q: Why did Fzz fall off his trident?

A: Because he’s unbalanced!

Q: What do you call Malphite getting a double kill against Azir and Anivia?

A: Killing two birds with one stone

Q: Why did Fiddlestick get promoted?

A: Because he was outstanding in his field

Q: Why do chefs love cooking for Ekko?

A: Because he always goes back 4 seconds

Q: Why is Yasuo the best roommate?

A; Because he always HASAKEY

Q: What’s the Yordles’ most hated phone carrier?

A: Teemobile

Q: What’s Vayne’s favourite site?

A: Tumblr

Q: What do you call a Blitzcrank with 6 Triforces?

A: A really expensive hooker

Q: Why is Tf an illegal immigrant?

A: Because he doesn’t have a green card

Q: Who is the most academically successful female champion?

A: Jinx She got A’s while the rest of them got D’s

Q: Why can’t Olaf find a handicapped parking spot?

A: He can’t be disabled

Q: Why did the manaless Syndra run from the teamfight?

A: She didn’t have the balls

Q: What do you call a game-winning laser?

A: Viktor-E

Q: How does Janna shield her allies?

A: With Ease (With E’s)

Q: When is a door not a door?

A: When it’s a Jarvan

Q: Why is Zilean the master of time?

A: Because he’s got a Zilean clocks!

Q: What do you call an AFK Shyvana?

A: A statikk Shyv!

Q: What is a marksman’s least favorite plant?

A: A-kali Flower!

Q: What do you call a Renekton support?

A: Gatoraide!

Q: What do you call a Camille that’s stealthed?

A: A Camille-eon

Q: Why did Nami fail her final year at school?

A: All her grades were under C!

Q: What did Aurelion Sol say when he bumped his leg on a wall?

A: Ao, my shin!

Q: What do you call a Warwick that’s MIA?

A: A wherewolf!

Q: What is the secret League of Legends religion that every player follows?

A: Siontology!

Q: What do Rammus and Malphite listen to?

A: Rock ‘n’ Roll! Ok

Q: Why can’t Gangplank play cards?

A: Because he’s always standing on the deck!

Q: Did you know that Alistar is dyslexic?

A: He always goes oom!

Q: What do you do to a toxic Zyra?

A: Repot them!

Q: How long does it take to save up enough money for a Locket?

A: Aegis

Q: What do you call Renekton wearing a vest?

A: An In-vest-igator!

Q: What’s Lee Sin’s favorite game mode?

A: Blind pick!

Q: Where does Fiora water her plants?

A: En garden!

Q: How does Sona charge her phone?

A: With a Power Chord!

Q: What do you call Kennen when he is stunned in Lightning Rush?

A: Static Electricity

Q: How many bronze players does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Who knows – They can’t climb the ladder

Q: Why is Yasuo never locked out of his house?

A: Because he always Hasaki!

Q: Why was Caitlyn pulled over on the highway?

A: She was going AD miles per hour

Q: Why did Riot take off LeBlanc’s silence?

A: So she can hear the screams of her enemy as she one shots them

Best One-Liner League Jokes

Some of the best jokes out there from League of Legends players came as one-liner jokes. These have been pulled from around a dozen different sources, including the official game forums. It is impossible to know who to credit these jokes to, as they are repeated and passed around so many times until the originator of the joke is impossible to discern. Plus, some of these are pretty obvious, and were probably thought up by more than one LOL player at once. Check out these hilarious one-liner jokes straight from other players.

Lee Sin walks into a bar and into a chair, and into a table

Brand got banned for flaming

At the start of the game, Blitz said “Let’s go invade!” Then he ran very fast using his ‘W’ skill

Sometimes Volibear tells me jokes, but I just can’t bear them

Yorick walks into a bar, there is no counter

100 people followed Singed on Twitter They all died

You know Zilean is having a bad day when he asks you for the time

Katarinas dark secret is that she’s prone to getting dizzy

Trundle never ceases to be amazed about how everyone on the internet knows he’s a troll

Mordekaiser really hates airport security

Shacos darkest secret is that he’s afraid of children

Sometimes Karthus picks up a sword and pretends that he’s Arthas

Amumus favorite emote is /cry

Heimerdinger has a gadget for every occasion, but his friends think he went too far during the attack of a mariachi band of penguins dressed up as clowns

Once Evelynn almost choked to death, but nobody could tell

Evelynn is constantly being bothered by an old man named Gargamel

When Katarina got into the assassination business she made a killing

For some reason Alistar suffers from headaches

Soraka hates the saying “when you hear hoof beats, think horses”

Teemo is a big player in the underground drug market

Ryze’s big secret is a real shocker!

When Malphite and Rammus hang out they like to Rock n’ Roll!

When Udyr masturbates, is it considered bestiality?

Maplphite once took swimming lessons. He doesn’t like to talk about it

Warwick used to do a lot of huffing and puffing, and there were three talking pigs involved. So, don’t do drugs, kids.

Cassiopeia always knows how much she weighs thanks to all her scales.

Singed made a potion so strong it made him see double! Turns out it was just Shaco playing a prank!

Taric’s mother thinks he’s a real gem!

Vladimir really loves Bloody Mary! She’s his girlfriend!

Everyone stared when Lux asked if anyone’s got a light?

Once Kog’maw had a cold, but no one could tell.

Tristana is disappointed that it’s never a rocket in your pocket.

Sometimes, to mess with people Kayle and Morgana switch clothes.

You know what happened when Blitzcrank went on a date with katarina? He knocked her up!

Did you see Annie dance last night? She was on fire!

We would tell you a Pantheon joke but there are over 300 of them…

Noc Noc? Who’s There? Daaaaaaaaaarrknesssss

Best “Yo’Momma” LOL Jokes

One of the categories that seems to be severely lacking in the League of Legends joke world is the “Yo Momma” joke. These are a staple of any comedy gathering, and other games have tons of Yo Momma” jokes about them. But we were only able to find a few. Maybe you can come up with some of your own jokes in this category and add them to the game forums and other places where players congregate. In the meantime, check out these jokes, and remember, we are certain that YOUR momma is a very nice person and that none of these jokes actually apply to her personally.

Yo momma is so fat, Cho’gath feasted on her and gained full stacks

Yo momma so ugly she feared Nocturne!

Yo momma so fat, Fiddlesticks drained her and got diabetes!

Your mum is so fat she has to recall twice to get back to base.

Yo momma so fat, when Singed tried to Fling her, he broke his back

Best Worst Jokes about League of Legends

As we sifted through thousands of jokes to make this compilation, one thing became very clear: there were lots of jokes out there that really should just have been drug out into the street and shot. But some of those terrible jokes were so terrible that they were actually funny. Those are the ones that we felt compelled to include here. If you laugh at these, then you probably need to get some better jokes in your life. If you groan…well..don’t blame us. We didn’t write them. We wouldn’t admit it if we did.

Q: What does Mordekaiser hate the most?

A: Airport Security

Q: What do you call a Lucian that goes AFK?

A: A Black Leaver

Q: How do you beat Orianna?

A: Ochris Brown

Q: What car does Garen drive?

A: A FORD EMACIAAAA

Q: Why is Riven such a broken champion?

A: Because a sword mirrors its owner

Q:How many platinum 1 players do you need to replace a light bulb ?

A: None, they would break the ladder and blame everyone for it

Olaf: Hey Elise do you know what counters Vi the most?

Elise: No what?

Olaf: Me, because I’m a VI-king

A family was driving along on a road trip

Little kid: Ahri there yet? Ahri there yet? Ahri we there yet? Ahri there yet?

Q: Why does Viktor make a great friend?

A: Because he always has a spare helping hand!

Q: Why does Viktor always win his lane?

A: Because he always has the upper hand!

Q: Why couldn’t the potato play ADC?

A: Because no one would peel for him

Q: How do you troll players in League of Legends?

A: Yorick roll them!

Q: Why is Master Yi’s Q so buggy?

A: Because it’s “alpha” strike!

Teemo walks into a bar. “I’ll have a glass of water, please!”

(2 seconds later)

Bartender: “Here’s your wat… wait, where’d he go?”

Best League of Legends Pick-Up Lines

One of the League of Legends humor categories that was simply stuffed was the pick-up line category. Now, only a girl (or a guy) who actually played LOL would get these jokes. Anyone else would simply look at you as if you were crazy. There were hundreds and hundreds of jokes in this category, but we didn’t have the room for all of them, so we pared them down to some of the ones that made us chuckle. Remember, you use these jokes at your own risk. If you don’t have a significant other, you probably won’t after you use these pick-up lines either. If you already do have a partner, then you might be without one if you use these lines on them too. Let’s take a look at some of the best League of Legends pick-up lines.

Damn, if being sexy was a crime, I’d have to call Sheriff Caitlyn because you’re guilty as charged.

You know, if Ezreal saw you, he’d need a map. He’d get lost in your eyes.

Girl, is your name Ashe? Because your beauty stunned me from a distance!

Is your name Janna? Because you blow me away.

Hey girl, wanna come back to my base and check out my Needlessly Large Rod?

Are you an AD carry? Because I’m fired up and ready to serve.

Are you Cassiopeia? Because when I stare at you I get hard.

Are you Orianna? Because you can play with my balls.

Can I invade your jungle?

Can I put my doran blade in your doran ring?

Can I tap your dark spheres?

Did I mention its mating season?

Do you main Ahri? Because I find you charming.

Even if you were Singed I would still chase after you.

Girl you’re like draven – spinning me around town.

The League of Legends URF/NURF April Fool’s Joke

One of the jokes that we found to be the funniest didn’t actually come from the players. Many players will remember the URF and NURF April Fool’s jokes that Riot trolled everyone with if they have been playing LOL for any length of time. If you are new to the game, or for some reason, you haven’t heard about these, then allow us to enlighten you, because this was really a great prank, and the fact that Riot was able to change it and do it again – and fool everyone again – made it even better.

Okay, so the story starts with URF – a new game mode that the company claimed was going to be introduced temporarily to see how it worked out. The developer called it URF, which stood for Ultra Rapid Fire. It was supposed to make everything thousands of times faster, including attack speed, movement, crit damage and even gold was supposed to increase. Mana costs and cooldown times were also supposed to have gone up. Of course, the company made this announcement just before April 1st, and it turned out to be an April Fool’s Joke.

But then, they brought it back once again, this time calling it NURF (for New Ultra Rapid Fire) and it had the following specifications:

+100% mana and energy cost on all abilities

+200% cooldown inflation on abilities, items and summoner spells

+225 movement speed reduction

+200% delay between basic attacks

Critical strikes deal 50% of base AD

Units critically strike on 150% of attacks

Of course, that was exactly the opposite of “URF” and this one wasn’t real either. It was just another April Fool’s joke that fooled people..again.

[imtheiliad]

Art Supplies and Paper: Chapter 8

Author’s note: I don’t know how I feel about this chapter. Hope you enjoy it.

Another boring day at the office for Jim, yielded him to call Pam for lunch, he knew it was her day off. He dialed her number on his desk phone as usual, over the past few months he had memorized her number. The only drama in the office today was that the higher ups at corporate had found out about Michael and Jan’s, Michael’s boss, relationship, which would probably end up badly, but Jim did not care, to say the least. Pam answered the phone and agreed to come by, and they would go to lunch, she seemed excited to tell him something.

“Dunder Mifflin, this is Caitlyn, how can I help you? I’ll transfer you.”

Jim’s phone rang, he picked up.

“Hey, Jim, it’s David Wallace from Corporate.”

“Hi, David.”

As soon as he said that, Michael came out of his office and started bugging Jim about why the CFO of the company was calling him.

“There will be an opening at corporate soon, and I suggested that you come interview, the rest of the hiring committee agreed. So would you be interested in interviewing?”

“Sure, when?”

“Next Monday morning.”

“Works for me.”

“Alright, I’ll see you then. Bye Jim.”

“Bye David.” He hung up the phone and addressed Michael’s questions. At the news that there was a job at corporate, Michael practically sprinted the 4 feet to his office while calling out, “Caitlyn, get David Wallace on the phone!”

“This won’t end well.” Jim thought.

Pam entered the office, and Jim immediately hopped up and greeted her, and they headed out. They went to the normal place, Cooper’s. Ordered and then Jim mused, “What did you want to tell me?”

“Well, when we first met, I was applying to art school, I mean I only applied to Pratt, it’s something I have always wanted to do and my ex-fiance, never really supported me, because it meant that I would be living in New York for 2 years. That’s beside the point, the point is that I got in, and I’m pretty sure I am going to go.”

“That’s awesome!” Jim stood up to hug her in congratulations.

“The only thing left to do is go for an interview next week.”

“I have an interview at corporate, on Monday.”

“My interview is on Tuesday, you want to go together?”

“Sure. We could leave Sunday Morning so we could have a day in the city. I haven’t been to just see the city since middle school.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

They ate their lunch and headed back to the office.

Jim hugged Pam goodbye and sat down at his desk, and was greeted with Michael, “Heya Jimbo, when you goin in for the interview?”

“My interview is monday.”

“Hey, how about that, mine too! You wanna drive together, I could pick you up in the Sebring.”

“No thanks, I am heading up on Sunday with a friend.”

“A girlfriend? Why don’t you keep me updated on your love life Jim?”

“She is just a friend, and I think it would be inappropriate for me to keep you updated on my personal life.” Jim ended the conversation, and returned to making calls.  

A little later on he headed back to the annex to HR, to talk to Toby about taking Tuesday off. He seemed to think it was fine and gave Jim a form to fill out. Back at his desk he texted Pam, asking her about a hotel, he suggested that he book two rooms, and she pay him back for it. He booked a reasonably priced hotel, not too far from Pratt and the Corporate office.

[thebachelordiaries]

The Bachelorette: A Very Petty Review of Rachel’s Guys

The best part about reality television is judging people with no consequence.

I have no pity on these men. One will probably become The Bachelor, another will (hopefully) become Rachel’s life partner, and the rest will have an endless supply of hot chicks thirsting over them for the next three years. Yes, even Mr. Square Jaw is included in that statement.

This season of The Bachelorette has 31 men and most of them aren’t good enough to be with Rachel. I’m just being honest here. Rachel is gorgeous, smart, hilarious and has a rocking body. Boys can’t handle her, fuck boys will be destroyed by her and egomaniacs will be exposed by her.

I have so many questions for this bunch. Will this season’s villain compare to Chad? Who will get embarrassingly drunk on night one? Is it possible for these guys to create a bromance (circle jerk) bigger than Chase and Robby’s? Am I really expected to tell all these white guys apart?

WHY DO ALL STRAIGHT WHITE MEN LOOK ALIKE? UGH.

Let’s introduce ourselves to the 31 aspiring social media influencers who may or may not be vying for Rachel’s heart. This review is going to take awhile, so grab a snack.

Adam, 27, Real Estate Agent

Things were going badly out the gate after Adam called the fake-quirky white feminist Jennifer Lawrence his dream girl. The situation became a complete dumpster fire after he said the most “romantic” present he ever received was a threesome on his birthday. If anyone wants to know why I’m single, it’s because men my age consider threesomes romantic. 

Alex, 28, Information Systems Supervisor

I want to like Alex because I witnessed him put on a fantastic male stripper performance on the Ellen Show, but these answers make him sound like a wet paper bag. Alex claims to be a wingman and not a party starter, but the way he shook his ass on Ellen says otherwise.

Anthony, 26, Education Software Manager

Anthony’s answers make it seem like he is smart, funny without trying and successful. I just hope his head isn’t as weirdly shaped as it looks in this picture.

Blake E., 31, Aspiring Drummer

My first thought is, why is there more than one Blake on this season? I don’t even know one Blake in real life. My second thought is, does the occupation of “aspiring drummer” offer health insurance? Blake was engaged to a “crazy girl” for 48 hours and went to horseback riding camp when he was younger. Rachel, run. And don’t look back.

Blake K., 29, U.S. Marine Veteran

If he could be anyone, Blake would want to be “The Rock” because the famous actor looks good wearing a fanny pack. Blake also says he wouldn’t eat monkey brains or wrestle a crocodile for love. Blakey, stop trying so hard.

Brady, 29, Male Model

Yeah, Brady may be the conventionally attractive version of Casey Neistat, but that’s all he has going for him. Imagine being so ignorant to the rest of the world that the person you hate most is “The Situation” from The Jersey Shore. 

Bryan, 37, Chiropractor

I just realized these bios don’t say where these men are from. What the hell? Also, Bryan is hot, smart, AWARE OF THE REST OF THE WORLD and doesn’t have a weird-shaped head. What’s with kind-of old chiropractors never settling down? Apparently it is a thing. (This reminds me, I need to schedule an adjustment with my chiro.) I like Bryan, but he kisses and tells. On the Ellen group date he announced to everyone that he kissed Rachel already. Smh. Girls do NOT like snitches.

Bryce, 30, Firefighter

It appears that my high school english teacher was reborn as Mr. Square Jaw. Who the hell writes like this? “Laid back shot of gasoline when the fire starts to die.” “...eyes you could drown in and a smile that insults the sun.” “A fresh drink of water with a jolt of lightning.” Settle, down Nicholas Sparks. To top it all off, ABC deleted his transphobic comment after well-deserved backlash on Twitter.

Dean, 26, Startup Recruiter

There are some things I dislike about Dean, and some things I like. I dislike that he looks like an alien. I like that he called marriage an “institutionalized sham derived from religious beliefs” yet still wants to get married, because same.

DeMario, 30, Executive Recruiter

DeMario seems like strange dude. Half his answers confuse me. I feel like I had a similar reaction to him when he met Rachel on ATFR. I have one request: keep wild animals in the wild. No pet lions for you, DeMario.

Diggy, 31, Senior Inventory Analyst

This guy is funny, and evidently not a virgin (petition to get a virgin male on The Bachelorette. No, Sean Lowe didn’t count.) Several of his answers made me actually crack up, which is pretty hard to do. Sadly, I don’t think he’s marriage material at the moment. I also need him to explain this below answer further because I am jumping to some problematic conclusions here. 

Eric, 29, Personal Trainer

Ah, what would a season of The Bachelorette be like without at least one personal trainer? Eric seems like a serious dude with a type-A personality. He’s also a deep thinker and a health nut. He probably likes to act like he’s perfect, but he’s not. No one is. Your flaws will be exposed sooner or later, buddy. I’ll be watching you.

Fred, 27, Executive Assistant

I wanted to dislike Fred because he is dressed like an insurance agent in his picture, but his answers turned me around. His favorite artist is Jean-Michel Basquiat, and I believe Rachel put the same answer in her bio. Overall, his answers were 10//10. I can see him being accepted by Rachel’s intimidating father, the Hon. Lindsay. Others wouldn’t be as lucky.

Grant, 29, Emergency Medicine Physician

Grant is a doctor and kind of looks like a less-hot version of Dan Humphrey from Gossip Girl. On paper, him and Rachel would make a good couple. I can’t tell if he is good looking though, I need to see him in motion (it matters, OK?)

Iggy, 30, Consulting Firm CEO

Another “good on paper” kind of guy. I had a turtle named Iggy growing up so I really can’t get past that.

Jack Stone, 32, Attorney

What kind of name is Jack Stone? His name combined with the creepy expression he is making in this pic is not giving me a good first impression. His answers were decent. I like that he had some humility and “pleaded the fifth” on the bedroom questions. Thanks for being the only classy one.

Jamey, 32, Sales Account Executive

I know I just said this about the above person as well, but what kind of name is Jamey? That’s a name your mother calls you at home when no one is around while you’re between the ages of 6 and 12. Jamey is so far the shortest of the bunch at 5 feet 9 inches tall. He ideally would only date models and does not have female friends. I would say that I’d like to be his friend, but I have a vagina. Vaginas are for fucking, not friending. Basic Jamey logic.

Jedidiah, 35, ER Physician

Jedidiah looks like he shaved off his eyebrows and is now letting them grow back in. If you are wondering why this 35-year-old, handy, well-traveled doctor is single, look no further than the fact that he has some sort of strange obsession with wolves. All of his former dogs were more than half wolf and he has a wolf tattoo. I feel like this would be a red flag for most women.

Jonathan, 31, Tickle Monster

I hope Jonathan knows he is likely going to be put on the sex offender registry after his stint on the Bachelorette for his occupation title alone. He is divorced and likes to listen to Britney Spears and Flo-Rida. He was on the Ellen date so he, by some miracle, made it past the first night. 

Josiah, 28, Prosecuting Attorney

I hope Rachel has a thing for lawyers because ABC is really pushing them on her. Overall, Josiah seems like a good guy. Some things are better left unsaid though, like getting it on in his office at work. 

Kenny, 35, Professional Wrestler

I was hoping Kenny was an actual wrestler, but I have come to the conclusion that he is a Nacho Libre-esque performance wrestler. I am willing to put money down that he will show up in a wrestling outfit on night one. 

Kyle, 26, Marketing Consultant

I never want to hear this guy talk on television after reading his bio. These answers have gotten way too sexual for my taste. Kyle said his ex was into BDSM and he experimented with being a dom. Remember when I was shocked by the threesome answer? Things have escalated since then. He also doesn’t know what gluten is but tries to avoid it anyway. That says a lot about who Kyle is, and it’s enough for me to know I don’t want to know anything else about him.

Lee, 30, Singer/Songwriter

ABC needed to cross their T’s and dot their I’s. Personal trainer? Check. Approximately five lawyers? Check. Male model? Check. Singer/Songwriter? Check. Thank you Lee for fitting the latter demographic.

Lucas, 30, Whaboom

Lucas looks like Luke Pell if he was beaten with an ugly stick. I’m not even going to make a comment on his profession. Lucas says he would want to have lunch with a dead Bruce Jenner and an alive Caitlyn Jenner. I’m not sure if that’s how transitioning works. The person’s former self just doesn’t “die.” I do agree, however, that it would make for an interesting convo. Bruce would ask, “how’s everyone?” and Caitlyn would be like, “I ruined every relationship I had with our family. I hope that’s cool.” 

Matt, 32, Construction Sales Rep

I dig this guy even if he does have basic music taste. He has worked with inner city kids, and if he could be anybody for a day, he would be Matt Lauer, which I think Rachel would like. The craziest place he’s had sex was on a balcony of a cruise ship. I remember when I was on a cruise and all I wanted to do was make out with someone on the sun deck. Sadly the only guy who wanted to make out with me had a girlfriend, which is a metaphor for my life.

Michael, 26, Former Professional Basketball Player

Michael was a basketball player on the european pro circuit and (likely) a current crossfitter. He follows a Paleo diet, which if you didn’t know, is scientifically incorrect. Read up here, youngins. I forgot about the “former professional athlete” quota. I think we have reached our “standard Bachelorette professions” requirements but we still have about 6 more unnecessary men left. ABC is wasting my time 2017.

Milton, 31, Hotel Recreation Supervisor

The first red flag was that Milton has a tattoo inside his bottom lip, which is only cool when you’re 16. He has lived four months without power, I assume because he didn’t pay his bills (I could be wrong here.) He also wants to get “discovered” by being on this show. Last, but certainly not least, he thinks a man being romantic is emasculating. If god exists, this douche will get sent home on night one.

Mohit, 26, Product Manager

Mohit is a man of no limitations and does not let society’s demands define him. In fact, he listens to both rap and country music. Yep, you heard that right. We are in the presence of a true trailblazer.

That sound terrifying. What if the Tabasco ends up in someone’s private parts?!

Peter, 31, Business Owner

I see some grey hairs coming in, and I honestly dig it. Peter was on the Ellen date and my first impression of him was, “Fuck, he’s hot.” Peter is a former model and has finished three ironmans. He was supposed to tell a “fun” story about a one night stand but it honestly just sounded like he was date raped, so I didn’t particularly find it “fun.” (Side note: Imagine FEMALE contestants answering these questions? America would burn them at the stake.) Also, Peter, being a professional football player is not easy. How would you like permanent brain damage from numerous concussions? Didn’t think so.

Rob, 30, Law Student

Is is just me or does Rob look like Ryan Sutter? On the plus side, Rob said he has empathy, and most of the other men probably don’t understand what that word even means. On the negative side, Rob seems like someone who talks endlessly about all his worldly travels. Gag.

Will, 28, Sales Manager

Will was another guy on Rachel’s Ellen date. I don’t particularly find him attractive, but I enjoyed him on the group date and don’t really have anything mean to say about his answers. Maybe he will grow on me.

Prediction Corner

We did it, fam. We made it through all 31 contestants. I took me a couple of days, but whatever. What’s done is done.

Now that we got to know the guys, here are my way-too-soon-to-know-if-any-of-this-is-true predictions.

P.S. If you tag me or comment any spoilers on my page, take a good, hard look at your life. Why do you like ruining things for other people? Get a therapist and figure out those internal issues. Thanks. 

First Impression Rose: Bryan

First 1-on-1: DeMario

Final Rose: Fred

Future Bachelor: Alex. Or at least he’s going to become the hottest commodity to ever exist in Bachelor in Paradise. Low key want Ben to be The Bachelor again, though.

I am not going to defend any of these answers since I made them up at the top of my head. 

So there you have it. What do you think of this season’s contestants? I don’t think it’s possible that this season could be filled with more fuckboys than the last, so I will be entering Monday night’s season premiere with a positive mindset.

What contestant do you like the best? I want to know.

[a-smilethat-explodes]

Chapter 41- Explainations

The following day, I sat at the counter at work, studying for a test coming up. The door to Paul's office opened and Laura came out, hustling her kids with her. "I'm engaged!" she exclaimed, holding out her hand with a ring on it.

Wow that was fast. "Wow." I blurted out and then quickly added, "Congratulations."

"Thanks," she beamed back at me and then herded her kids out the door.

Paul came out a few minutes later, clearing his throat, smile on his face. I forced myself not to make a face. "I popped the question," he "confided" in me.

"Yeah, Laura just told me." I answered, forcing myself to smile.

"I know it's soon…" he leaned against the counter. "But I really like her… I mean, we're going to be taking it slow, long engagement, but I'm crazy about her," he told me seriously.

"That's great." I nodded diligently.

"Well I guess you wouldn't really know how it feels, to be really crazy about someone," he announced grandly.

I read between the lines of that remark and couldn't help but ask, "Excuse me?"

He looked at me sharply and then smiled an almost sympathetic smile. "I mean, I know that you don't have a girlfriend right now…"

"Actually I do." I replied, somehow managing to keep the bite out of my voice. Pompous, assuming, rude, son of a bitch…

"Oh really?" he asked, looking surprised. "Oh I thought…" he began and then trailed off, looking… disappointed? I suddenly realized that it had probably been a huge ego booster for him to have a girlfriend when I, who was younger and way more attractive then him, didn't.

"Yeah. Have a girlfriend." I answered briskly. "Are you leaving for the day?"

"Yes. Make sure to lock up," he quickly exited the store and I breathed a sigh of relief.

"He's finally gone." Christine surprised me by coming out of one of the aisles.

"Hey!" I smiled at her. "When did you come in?"

"You were talking to Laura," she answered with a shrug. "I figured I'd say something once you were alone."

"Oh. Okay." I smiled back and then leaned across the counter. She smiled back and we kissed.

The door opened so I pulled back quickly. "Am I interrupting?" Jake wiggled his eyebrows at us.

"I thought you were hungover." I answered, surprised to see him. "The last time I saw you, you were dry-heaving over the sink."

He shrugged as he tossed his return down on the counter. "Slept a lot, ate a little, threw up three times-"

"Ew." Christine interjected, looking thoroughly grossed out.

"I'm better now," he shrugged nonchalantly, looking at the new releases. "Got anything new?"

"Maybe." I answered, shaking my head as he wandered off.

"His resilience amazes me." Christine shook her head with a smile.

"I rule at life." Jake answered from the shelves.

The door opened again. Cassie entered with a small smile. "Hey." I smiled at her.

"Hey," she smiled a little more back.

"Cassie?" Jake popped out of the shelves. "Haven't seen your lovely face around lately," he glided over smoothly.

Cassie looked pained. "Jake-" she began with a sigh.

"Leave her alone, Jake." I said patiently.

"Dude, how many times do I have to ask you to hook it up?" Jake complained as Cassie slowly inched away.

"Many more since my answer is still no." I replied sweetly.

"That's the jealousy talking." Jake smirked before retreating back into the shelves.

"I'm just returning a movie." Cassie held up a movie then set it down on the counter.

"Thanks." I answered.

"Hey Christine," she smiled at Christine in a clear effort to make nice.

"Hey." Christine smiled back.

"Well I have some studying to do. See ya." Cassie left.

I sighed and dropped my face into my arms on the counter. I felt a small cool hand touch my arm gently and peeked out. Christine smiled at me and said quietly, "It will get better."

"I hope so." I mumbled back, words muffled by my arms.

The door opened again so I popped back up… only to see Alexandra coming in, holding a little girl in her arms. "Hey." I said, surprised.

"Hey," she answered, pushing her sunglasses on top of her head. She looked thoroughly uncomfortable.

"I'm going to go look for a movie." Christine breezed away.

I waited for Alexandra to speak, not eager to piss her off, knowing that we were on fragile ground already.

"So… how's business been?" Alexandra asked in an uncharacteristically quiet voice. I saw Jake come out of the shelves, clearly about to pose a question, and then stopped dead in his tracks at the sight of Alexandra. He blatantly stared at her. I tried to ignore him.

"Good." I nodded a few times. "Who's this?" I asked, smiling at the little girl, who was clearly related to Alexandra. She had the same pale blond hair and green eyes.

"This is my daughter Caitlyn," she answered and then looked down, smiling softly at her daughter. "Caitlyn, this is my friend Erik." Caitlyn smiled back shyly.

"She's cute." I told her softly.

"Yeah she is." Alexandra smoothed her daughter's hair down and then looked up at me. "I just came by to drop this off," she handed me an envelope. "Give it to Paul, please?"

"Sure." I nodded.

"I'll see you around," she smiled one more time and then left the store.

"That was Alexandra Grayson." Christine popped out of the shelves the minute the door shut.

"Yeah." I agreed.

"Dude who was that, she was hot." Jake said faintly.

"She used to work here." I answered.

"She was the hot blond girl?" he demanded. "Wow too bad I didn't catch her when she still worked here," he shook his head and headed back into the shelves.

"Wow… she looked good." Christine muttered, almost to herself, as she came over to the counter.

"What do you mean?" I asked, not used to my girlfriend saying when other girls looked good.

"Last time I saw her, she was a mess… pregnant and just kicked out of her house." Christine mused softly.

"What?" I demanded.

"Yeah, there was something with drugs too," she answered distractedly and then looked at me. "You didn't know?"

"No." I answered, still stunned.

"Yeah, her dad works with mine." I caught the small grimace at the mention of her dad but didn't comment on it. "It was a huge scandal two years ago when Robert Grayson's daughter was knocked up and on drugs. Well at least according to my mom and her stupid country club friends."

"Wow." I mused quietly.

The door flew open and Paul came in, looking annoyed. "Forgot my wallet," he grumbled, pissed off.

"Hey, this is for you." I handed him the envelope from Alexandra.

"What's this for?" he asked, looking at me suspiciously as he ripped open the envelope, even more annoyed at being derailed from his apparently busy schedule.

"Alexandra came by and dropped it off." I answered.

"What, she wants to apologize for walking off her damn shift?" he muttered, mostly to himself, as he pulled out a single folded piece of paper. He frowned and pulled a check in his other hand as he read the letter and then read the check. "Did you know about this?" he demanded, thrusting the letter at me.

I took the letter, read it, and then stared at it in shock. I was in so much shock that I didn't even register Paul snapping at Christine, asking her if she didn't have any place better to be.

The letter read that Alexandra had been the reason why the window had been smashed by that brick a few weeks ago. She had an addiction to drugs, she didn't specify what, but she had gotten in a bunch of trouble with it. She would be entering rehab the following day for her addiction but her father thought that Paul was entitled to getting money for the window that had been smashed because of her. Enclosed was check for 1,000 dollars.

I set the letter and check down on the counter, shocked.

"Did you know about this?" Paul demanded again.

"No, of course not." I answered honestly.

He eyed me for a moment and then snatched them both up. "Whatever. Got money out of the situation," he said, mostly to himself, dropped it off in his office, and then stormed out.

"What is it?" Christine asked once he finally left. I told her. "Wow," her eyes widened. "Well… I'm not really surprised…"

I thought back to the night of the window smashing… I remembered how unusually rattled Alexandra had been about it. "It makes sense now…" I mused quietly to myself out loud.

"What does?" Christine asked curiously.

"The night the window was smashed, she was really upset… like more upset then someone would be." I answered.

"Hmm…" she muttered thoughtfully.

The door opened again. Mrs. Carlson and the clan bustled in. I saw Jake come out of the shelves and then turn right back around. It probably would've been better for him to announce his presence or try to sneak out but… whatever. "Hey Erik." Mrs. C said cheerfully.

"Ewik! Ewik! Ewik!" Aidan yelled, reaching out for me.

"Hey buddy." I smiled back and took him when Mrs. C handed him to me. Christine smiled, clearly touched, as Aidan grinned at me. He jammed three of his fingers in my ear of course but I patiently pulled them out.

"How are you, dear?" Mrs. C asked.

"Good." I answered. "Have you met my girlfriend, Christine?"

"I've met you before but I don't remember her being your girlfriend." Mrs. C answered, turning, and smiling at Christine.

"Yeah we weren't dating then." I replied.

"Well I'm glad that Erik seems to have found him a nice girl." Mrs. C smiled kindly.

"Thank you." Christine smiled back.

The clan had run back into the shelves. "Jake, Jake, Jake!" they shouted ecstatically when they found their big brother.

"Hey guys." I heard Jake mumble.

"Jacob?" Mrs. C whirled around, eyes narrowing. The kids dragged Jake out of the stacks, chattering excitedly to their favorite older brother.

"Just returning a movie, Mom." Jake said with a sigh.

"And you didn't come out and say hi when I came in?" she demanded, indignant.

"Mom-" Jake began, beginning to get annoyed.

"Are you sleeping enough?" she asked him critically.

"Yeah Mom," he answered wearily.

"Because you have dark circles under your eyes, it doesn't look like you've really been sleeping," she answered, sounding concerned.

"I was up late last night," well that was somewhat of the truth.

"Were you drinking last night, Jacob?" Mrs. C asked, voice dangerous.

Wingman time! "We were up late celebrating my birthday, Mrs. C." I jumped in, pulling Aidan's fingers out of my nose.

She turned around and looked at me, eyes narrowed, which gave Jake an opportunity to send me a grateful look. I smiled back sweetly at Mrs. C. "All right…" she said slowly and then turned back around to Jake. "You should come around the house more often, we miss you."

"I can tell." Jake answered dryly.

"You know why I needle you, don't you?" Mrs. C demanded, exasperated. "It's because I miss you!"

"Well I'd miss you more if you weren't ragging on me so much!" he snapped back, picking up one of his little sisters who had been tugging on his t-shirt.

Mrs. C paused and seemed to consider his words. "I only rag on you because I want only the best for you," she finally said softly.

He softened at her quiet words. "Ma… I quit school," he blurted out softly. Way to tell her at a random moment, Jake.

I braced myself for the explosion… that never came. "What?" Mrs. C whispered, stunned. "But… why?"

The kids all went quiet at Mrs. C's quiet words… I suspected that they knew something was wrong when Mrs. C was quiet. Aidan even stopped trying to lodge his fingers into my ear.

"I hated it… I don't know what I want to be," he shrugged, not looking her in the eye.

"What have you been doing all this time?" she demanded, voice still quietly stunned.

"Working," he answered.

She stared at him for a long time before finally saying quietly, "We'll talk about this when you come over for dinner tomorrow night. You'd better be there," she grabbed all the kids and herded them out the door.

Jake sighed and looked defeated. "She had to find out sometime… right?" I asked him softly.

"I thought she was going to blow a gasket," he admitted.

"Me too… she took it… well not good but not bad either." I answered. He looked depressed so I said, "Come on buddy… it'll all work out."

"Sure," he said softly and then changed the subject by asking, "Do you have Terminator 2 in?" as he disappeared back into the Action movie shelf.

He left after renting Terminator 2. Christine hung around a little while longer before heading home herself.

I locked up the store later that night and stood on the little porch outside the store, staring at the bare trees lit up by the moon light.

I'd changed… a lot had changed in the last couple of weeks. Had it been a good change?

I walked over to my car, lost in thought. I was stunned to see Alexandra leaning against her parked car next to mine.

"Hey." I said, surprised.

"Paul called my father a few hours ago and thanked him for the check," she said softly. "He talked to me too and told me that he'd showed you the letter and the check too."

"Yeah." I nodded.

[itsjaybullme]

The Worst Things to Say to a Woman During Sex—According to Real Women

PeopleImages / Getty Images

You know not to tell your girlfriend that her butt looks big in those size-too-small jeans and you wouldn’t dare allude to how scary she is during that time of the month. But despite all of the female intel passed down from one generation of men to the next, a lot of dudes seem to be totally clueless when it comes to what’s kosher to say between the sheets.

Sex hormones can make you blurt out some crazy stuff—we totally get it. But there are some things that even the most laid-back ladies won’t let slide. How can we be sure? Because we asked 17 women to reveal the very worst thing a guy has ever said to them during sex—and laid it all out for you here. (You’re welcome!) To ensure you don’t make a bedroom fumble you won’t be able to recover from, read on and find out what they said.

1. "Helloooo?"

“There was one time that my high school boyfriend picked up the phone while we were going at it doggy style. Unless an Adele song is playing in the background, "Helloooo?" is the last thing I want to hear while doing the deed.” — Victoria, TX

2. “When’s the last time you worked out?”

“After I broke my leg in college, I put on a few pounds. And one night, while my (former) guy and I were having sex he said something like ‘make sure you always work out.’ Let’s just say he’s an ex-boyfriend for a reason.” — Meg, NJ

3. “Keep doing that, Sarah—I mean, Caitlyn.”

“During sex one of my ex-boyfriends called me by his last girlfriend’s name. That was a mood killer.” — Caitlyn, MI

4. “Hold on, it’s my mom!”

“One time my guy and I were in the middle of really hot sex when his phone started to ring. Apparently it was a special ringtone he had set up for his mom so he immediately stopped and told me to hold on so he could send it to voicemail. Talk about a major mood killer. The lesson here, guys: Make sure your ringer is off on date night!” — Steph, WA

5. “You look so sexy when you do that, Cuddle Muffin!”

“I once dated a guy who would always call me by my pet name when we were having really hot, kinky sex. Mind you, he called me Cuddle Muffin so it was really distracting and always ruined the hot vibes we had going on.” — Lauren, FL

6. “Can you remind me to pick up the dry cleaning after this?

“One time during sex with my boyfriend he kept rattling off items from his to-do list and asking me to remind him about them when we were done. Obviously, he wasn’t too focused on the fact that he had a naked girl in his bed. Maybe he just had a lot on his mind that particular day, but it was a huge blow to my self-esteem.” — Alexis, NH

7. “Do you wear a padded bra?”

“One of the first times I fully stripped down with my boyfriend, he said something along the lines of ‘They’re smaller than they look with your shirt on. Do you wear a padded bra?’ Way to knock a girl's confidence, buddy!” — Abby, OR

8. “Where did the condom go?”

“In the middle of really hot doggy style sex with my college boyfriend, he suddenly yelled ‘Oh my god! Where did the condom go?!’ We searched for like 10 minutes trying to find it with no luck.” — Danielle, OK

9. “You’re so sexy, baby!”

“I absolutely hate when guys I’ve just started to date say things like ‘Your so sexy, baby’ in bed. It seems so cliché and ungenuine, which totally turns me off.” — Jesse, NY

10. “Are you close?”

“While going down on me, my guy said, ‘Are you close? Just cum already.’ At that point, I told him to just give up. Mood = killed.” — Madison, NJ

11. “Am I hurting you!?”

“It was one of the first few times I was having sex with my then-new boyfriend, and I was on top. When I was getting close to the finish line, he yelled ‘Oh my god! What's wrong?! Did I hurt you?’ I was about to have an orgasm and he mistook my “O” face for a wince. It was a really long time—like over a year—before I had the confidence to be on top again. If your girlfriend is in pain, she will tell you, guys. Trust me.” — Liz, AZ

12. “Don’t tell anyone about this, OK?”

“I was dating this guy from my geology class in college, and after a few weeks, we finally slept together. Everything was going fine, until halfway through he stops and asks me not to tell anyone that we were having sex. When I asked why he said that he really wanted a serious girlfriend and he didn’t want word to get out that he sleeps around. I wanted to slap him across the face.” — Alyssa, MA

13. “Getting you in bed was easier than I thought it would be.”

“I had heard that this guy I was seeing was a total jerk but didn’t want to believe it. When we finally slept together he said to me, ‘Wow, getting you in bed was easier than I thought it would be.’ To make matters worse, he had one of those big red Easy Buttons from Staples next to his bed and he pushed that, too. When the button blurted out ‘That was easy’ I wanted to curl up and die right then and there. Needless to say, I learned the hard way how big of a jerk the guy really was.” — Alexis, ME

14. “Let’s make this quick, OK?”

“It’s so annoying when my fiancé tells me that he wants to rush through sex because he’s tired or needs to wake up early. It’s basically code for, ‘I need to get off and I don’t really feel like putting in the time to make sure you cum, too.’ No, thank you! That’s what your hand is for.” — Kayla, PA

15. “I love you!”

“Freshman year of college I was dating this guy, Ryan. The night we decided to exclusively date—which was a month or so after we met—we went back to his place and had sex. And right in the middle of it all, he called out, ‘Oh my God! I love you!’ Um, thanks? Needless to say, we ignored each other for the next three and a half years of school.” — Emily, WV

16. “Can we try this thing I did with my ex?”

“Sometimes when my boyfriend and I have drunk sex he will ask if we can try certain positions that he use to do with other women. Nothing makes me more jealous and angry in the bedroom.” — Heather, CT

17. "Does that feel good?"

“I hate when a guy asks if what he’s doing to me in bed feels good. If you have to ask the answer is probably no. Thinking about all the ways I can get out of answering is really distracting and takes away from anything he’s doing right.” — Brittany, DE

from Bodybuilding Feed http://www.muscleandfitness.com/features/edge/worst-things-say-woman-during-sex-according-real-women via http://www.rssmix.com/

[heyyyharry]

The Boy Next Door - Part 6

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5

Masterlist

An angsty/fluffy series in which you and Harry were childhood best friends who lived next door from each other, until he became Harry of One Direction and you moved out of town. Years later, you two meet again when you and Harry come back home for New Year.

Warning: probably many grammar mistakes because no proofreading (i’m so sleepyyyyyyy).

(Harry's text / yours)

I miss you - H

You just left my house an hour ago!

Am I not allowed to miss my best friend? - H

And you didn't need to put your initial at the end, I knew it's you, silly. :)

Sorry! I forgot my wallet at your place.

Yeah, need me to bring it to you? Going out for lunch anw.

That'd be great! I'm at the studio, I'll send you the address.

Can't wait to meet ya!

Okay, gotta get back to work. I'll see you later, yeah?

Okayyyy, see you later petal! Have a great day! :)

... ... ...

You're in the back of a taxi, on your way to a studio to meet Harry. As you're looking out the window, it occurs to you that maybe you're not doing it right, trying not to fall harder for your best friend. You don't even make effort to avoid spending too much time with him, well, you should but you cannot, and you don't want to. You feel good when you're with him. You sleep better when he's there. He makes you feel safer. He feels like home. You can name a million reasons not to give up on him. I mean, you lost him once and it'll kill you if you let it happen again. However, it's not always the same person that comes back. Intentionally or not, you know he’s going to break your heart. 

“Hey, I'm here. Where are you?” you say to Harry on the phone as you enter the room.

“I'm at the back, dealing with something. Did they let you in? I told them to let you in.”

“Yeah, they did. If you're too busy I'll just give your wallet to someone.”

“No, no. It won't be long. Wait out there for me, alright? I want to see you.”

“Okay,” you say before hanging up with a big smile on your face. 

“I want to see you" You're replaying those words inside your head in the sound of his voice. You know this is wrong but at this point you genuinely believe he does have feelings for you. Maybe he left his wallet just to have an excuse to see you. Maybe...The thought of “maybe" makes the butterflies in your stomach go insane. Your palms sweat and you’re grinning way too hard. If your brother was here he would make fun of you for this, you just know it.

“Hello! Can I help you?”

You're stopped by a woman who looks a few years older than you. She's probably one of Harry's staff. 

“Are you lost miss?” the woman asks, eyeing you from head to toes like you’re here with bad intentions, which makes you feel awkward.

“Um, no.” You shake your head. “I'm here to see Harry...Styles”

“Really?”

"Yes?”

“I'm not sure Mr. Styles has an appointment with anyone at the moment...” says the lady as she pulls out her phone, probably to check the schedule. Yup, she's definitely working for your best friend.

“I'm his friend from high school actually. He might not have told you about me. We recently got back in touch. He told me to wait out here. That's why the security guy let me in.”

The woman still doesn't seem convinced.

“I can call Harry and he will confirm this.”

“No, it's fine. If you said so I believe you. You look harmless anyway.”

“Thank you?”

Your reply makes the woman laugh. “Nice to meet you! I'm Christie, Mr. Styles' assistant.”

“I'm Y/N! Nice to meet you!” you grin at Christie and shake her hand. It's bothering you a bit because Harry hasn't mentioned you to his assistant yet. If the staff who's closest to him doesn't know about you then you're sure nobody else knows. Why hasn't he talked about you?

"Do you know when he'll be done in there?”

“It might take a while,” says Christie as she rolls her eyes. “His girlfriend is here.”

You look at her, shocked and confused at the same time. “His...girlfriend?”

“Yeah, Caitlyn, the model. He might not have said anything but he's always visiting her. In fact, she spent the night at his house two nights ago.”

“Two nights ago?” You can feel your voice shake as those words roll out of your tongue. That would mean the night you called him when you arrived in L.A. He was with her when he was talking to you, and he lied.

Christine notices the change of expressions on your face and she starts to freak out. "Oh God, I shouldn't have told you that! Harry told me not to talk about his relationships with anyone!”

“Don't worry, I won't tell,” you promise without even looking at her. Of course you're going to keep this to yourself and let it eat you up gradually every time you think about it.You feel a lump in your throat and the butterflies in your stomach burst into flames. Now all you feel is stupid. You're not special. He can have any girl he wants and sadly you're just one of them. The things he said to you, leading you on, making you think he felt the same way, were probably the same things he said to her, and the others. You're just making a fool out of yourself, for sticking around, for showing up here.

“Can you give Harry his wallet for me?”

Christine looks at the wallet and then you, in confusion.

“Don't you want to stay and see him?"

“No. Tell him, and his girlfriend, I said hi.”

... ... ...

“You can't keep coming here, Caitlyn! You know that! We cannot be seen together!” Harry growls in frustration as he turns his head to the door, thinking about how he will explain to you when he walks outside with Caitlyn. The girl in front of him keeps closing the distance between the two of them by putting her hands on him and having him shrug them off a few times. Clearly their relationship is something more to Caitlyn now and Harry's regretting not ending it when he could have.

“I miss you!” the girl pouts and tries to steal a kiss but Harry refuses to comply. Normally he would be down with it, she's a pretty girl and she's willing to let him do things to her, but he's done with all that now. It suddenly feels wrong. You're not his and he's not yours, he's allowed to be with anyone, but he can't do it, not when you're outside waiting to see him, not when all he wants is to see you.

“C, don't!” he warns the girl, but she doesn't get it.

“What is wrong with you? You said you missed me the other night,” she says seducingly while holding onto his shoulders, giving them a squeeze. Her fingers trail down his arms, to his hips, around his waist, and end up at the front of his belt. Harry immediately grabs her wrists.

“C, you need to leave.”

“You didn't say that when you were inside of me.”

“Enough.”

Caitlyn freezes. None of this makes sense to her. She's not used to being rejected and Harry fighting her off really offends her. She looks at him in anger, with her eyebrows furrowed and her mouth slightly opened, she shakes her head. There's hurt in her eyes and he never feels so bad.

“What's wrong with you today?”

“I think we should stop seeing each other. And you should stop coming to see me like this,” says Harry with his eyes on the floor. He hates it when he has to break someone's heart. But at this point, it's either Caitlyn’s heart gets broken or yours, and he doesn't even hesitate. He feels awful that he took this too far when clearly Caitlyn has had a crush on him since the first time they hooked up. His life was a mess before you came back. Now he must admit that he's been an asshole and try to fix this mess. 

“So,” Caitlyn speaks up, pauses a bit and chuckles sarcastically. “You've found someone else and suddenly I’m not worthy of your time anymore?”

“It's not about anyone else. It's about me not being able to give you what you want. I wish I could, but you deserve better. We've got to stop before it gets worse.”

“You know what, Harry? Fuck. You!”

“I'm so sor-”

Words don't matter anymore when it's already too late. Caitlyn storms out of the door before Harry can finish his apology, leaving him behind, alone in the dark room. This time, he knows she won't come back.

... ... ...

You come home that day and check your phone to see 12 notifications from the same person.

Hey, why did you leave? Christie said you were in a hurry but I thought we were going to have lunch.

You left me on read! Is everything alright?

**1 missed call from Harry

**2 missed calls from Harry

Love, why aren't you answering your phone?

You left me on read again. Did I do something wrong?

Please talk to me.

**3 missed calls from Harry

Please answer or at least reply. I'm really worried.

**4 missed calls from Harry

I don't know what I said or did that upset you but please call me back or text me back. Whatever I did, I'm sorry. Please talk to me.

**5 missed calls from Harry

And suddenly your phone buzz with a new notification. Another text from him.

I'm coming over.

(part 7)

[heyyyharry]

The Boy Next Door - Part 3

Part 1

Part 2

Masterlist

An angsty/fluffy series in which you and Harry were childhood best friends who lived next door from each other, until he became Harry of One Direction and you moved out of town. Years later, you two meet again when you and Harry come back home for New Year.

Dinner is on the table. Everyone’s gathering in the dining room, and somehow you end up sitting in front of Harry, and the girl who introduced herself to you as his girlfriend. You try not to pay attention to them, pretending you don’t see them touching each other’s hands, whispering in each other’s ears and laughing together. Witnessing this makes you start questioning yourself why you’re even here. You came here hoping after tonight you could finally be a part of his life again. But now this girl, this beautiful girl shows up and everything changes. All the certainty and security you’ve felt since you woke up in his arms this morning has all disappeared. Harry feels so far away even though he’s sitting right there on the other side of the table, right in front of you.

Harry’s looking at you now. You can feel it, but you’re acting like you’re too busy eating to notice. You’ve been trying your best to avoid starting a conversation with him. You don’t know whether you are mad at him for saying he’s not dating anyone and letting you find out through the girlfriend herself, or you’re just too heartbroken by the fact that the man you’ve always loved now belongs to someone else, someone, in your opinion, is better than you in every way. You know it’s wrong to put yourself down like that, but it’s just how it is.

“Y/N,” the brunette named Mandy speaks up, making you flinch at the sound of your name. You immediately look up from your plate.

“You’re so quiet. You haven’t talked much since you got here.”

“Yeah, sorry. I just don’t have many interesting things to talk about,” you say, laughing nervously as everyone’s eyes are on you. You’re not trying to be sarcastic or anything, you’re telling the truth. You doubt anyone here wants to hear about your university life instead of Harry’s tour or his girlfriend’s daily struggles as a model.

“You’re a student?” asks Mandy’s boyfriend, Aaron, one of the three people Harry invited here tonight. You think they’re just trying to be nice by starting a conversation with you so you won’t feel out of place. However you would like nothing more than to be invisible.

“Yes, I live in London, only here for a week and then I’m flying back.”

“So soon?” asks Anne.

“Yeah, I’d love to stay for longer but I’ve got so much work left unfinished.” You give her a slight smile.

“Totally relatable!” Caitlyn joins in, which surprises you a bit, for she hasn’t said a word to you since the awkward introduction in the kitchen. You thought she didn't like you very much. Well, that might be the case, if she ever finds out you’re desperately in love with her boyfriend.

“I normally get like a few days off once in a while and then I must get back to work asap. It's exhausting flying from places to places. But hey, us girls have got to be hard working to take care of ourselves, right?”

You nod, smiling at her. She seems like a lovely girl. Why does she have to be lovely, a model, and Harry’s girlfriend at the same time? It’s so unfair...

Caitlyn turns to Harry, “your friend's so cute. How come you’d never told me about her before.”

It came out as a joke but it leaves Harry at a loss of words. 

“Yeah, I can't believe you guys have been friends since middle school! That's so freaking amazing!” You just shrug and give Mandy a smile, not knowing what to response to that. She doesn't just stop there though.

“You’ve been friends for so many years it's really weird that you two have never…you know…wanted to be...more.”

“I’m feeling like we’re interrogating poor Y/N. Just let the girl eat in peace,” says Gemma’s boyfriend, the fourth guest to this dinner. He doesn’t forget to add in some laughter to make the atmosphere less serious and more relaxed. You cannot thank him enough for saving your ass. This conversation could have gone worse and you don’t think you’d be able to sit here through it.

Caitlyn lets out a laugh and shifts her attention away from you, so does everyone else, so does Harry. His eyes are back on Caitlyn, where they should be. And yours, on him, where they shouldn't be.

Everything around you seems to fade and the voices are muffled in your ears. The only thing you hear is silence and the only thing you see is him. After all this time, after all these years.

Caitlyn’s touching his hair, caressing his face. He smiles at something she says and then she presses a kiss to the corner of his lips as if they were the only two people in this room. You hate this feeling. You feel like you cannot breathe, your chest is heavy and your stomach’s twisting. You've only felt like this twice in your life. The first time was when Harry first told you he'd got a girlfriend, his first girlfriend, whom he had broken up with a few weeks before his life-changing X-Factor audition. The second time is this moment right now. Sure it hurt you in the past seeing pictures of him with other girls during your seven years apart, but it's different now that it's happening right in front of you.

“Where are you going?” Gemma asks when you push back your chair and stand up. You tell her you just need to use the bathroom and then you'll be right back, but only half of that is true. You are going to the bathroom, but you probably won't come back. You excuse yourself and make your way out before anyone else can say anything to you. You need to get out of here, this room at least. Everything following after is like a slow-motion movie scene. You rush to the closest bathroom, lock yourself in and try to catch your breath. As the cool water’s splashed on your face and you look up at your reflection in the mirror above the sink, you finally come to your senses. Your brother was right. You should've stayed home. 

“You alright in there, love?”

Harry. The last person you want to see right now. You open the door and he’s waiting right outside, looking so worried for you it almost makes you want to change your mind.

“I’m fine. Can't a girl just use the bathroom?” You try to fake a laugh but it's not very convincing. Harry doesn't laugh or at least smile back, he keeps a straight face and tells you, “let’s go back, yeah?”

“H,” you grab the sleeve of his shirt when he's about to turn away from you. “We need to talk.”

“Is there something wrong?” Harry looks at you in concern. You wonder if he really doesn't know or he's just really good at pretending he doesn’t know. Either way, you're mad at him.

“A lot. But I would like to start with why you lied and told me you didn’t have a girlfriend.”

“Who? What are you talking about?”

“Caitlyn.”

“Wait, did she tell you she’s my girlfriend?”

“She isn’t?” The look of confusion on Harry's face begins to make you confused!

“No!” He looks dead serious so maybe he’s telling the truth. None of this makes sense though.

“But...You two were holding hands and you even let her kiss you.”

“How do I explain this to you?” Harry puts his hands on his hips and presses his lips together. Maybe he's searching for the right words to put into a sentence in a way that won't offend or hurt your feelings. But there's no easy way out. “Caitlyn and I are friends…but…um…but we…we’ve decided that if we're not seeing anyone then we can sometimes meet up and, you know...”

“So she’s your fuck buddy?” you keep your voice down, eyes widened in disbelief and shock.

“I don't have feelings for her, not like I do for...” There’s a pause before he goes on, “...someone I would make my girlfriend. So I’m sorry she told you that. I'll talk to her about it.”

“Does your mum know?”

“No, mum doesn't care who I'm with as long as I'm happy. Gemma knows though, but she doesn’t judge me.”

“Hey, I’m not judging you.” You glare at him, offended by what he seems to imply.

“Not saying that you are but you’re giving me that look, as if you don’t know me.”

“Exactly, because I don’t, not anymore.” 

“I'm sorry, love...I didn't tell you about her because I was scared you might look at me differently, and wouldn't want to let me back in again,” Harry says as he reaches out to grab both of your hands. You have no idea why you let him do so. You don't want to be near him anymore but at the same time you want him to hold you and love you forever. 

“But that's it. I told you everything else this morning, in your room. I was completely honest. I didn’t hide anything from you.”

“Are you sure? Because you didn't mention why you didn’t call, or try to reach out for me for seven fucking years.”

Harry's reaction is exactly what you expected. He always knew this moment was gonna come eventually. He's just not prepared to have this conversation with you in such a sudden. So now he's standing in front of you like a statue, unspoken words stuck in his throat. You don't like it at all, but still you pull your hands away from his grip. They immediately withdraw to hide away behind your back while his hands hang there for a second before falling back to their original places on his sides, leaving him in an awkward standing position.

“I regret it everyday, not reaching out for you...But I really didn't have a choice,” he says.

“Yes, you did. And you chose to abandon me.”

“I-I've been trying to make it up to you, petal.”

“By inviting me over to meet the girl you fuck and ignoring me the whole night to talk to her?” You break your own heart by saying these things out loud. To hear yourself say it rather than the voice inside your head is much more devastating. By the expression on Harry's face, you know he didn't realize until now that he's hurt you. Of course, because you never told him until now. He would never make you sad intentionally. It just didn't occur to him that some things he did and didn't do hurt you. He looks guilty and you feel terrible for making him feel like it's entirely his fault. 

You take a step closer to him, wanting to wrap your arms around his torso and pull yourself into his chest. But instead you just reach out to hold his left hand in your right . He looks down at you looking at him. You take a deep breath.

“This morning with you made me think that we could go back to normal, like seven years had never passed. When we were alone, it felt like nothing had changed, but put us in a room with other people, you suddenly feel so distant.”

“I'm still me. I'm still Harry. Let's...let's go back, okay? After dinner, we'll talk this through, I promise.” His voice is shaky and he's talking fast like he always does whenever he's nervous or scared. 

“I don't want to go back there and I don't want to talk. I want to go home.”

“Please love...” Harry holds your face gently between his palms and you flinch at the contact. His tender gesture makes you feel like the most fragile thing ever, and maybe it's true.

“Don't give up on me,” he says.

The problem is you're not sure if you can. Not when he's doing this to you. Why is he doing this to you? Why is he touching you, looking at you like this? Why is he saying all these things? Like he's in love with you, but in fact he's not. You want to kiss him so bad, especially when his face is this close to yours and his breath is fanning your face. He's making you feel things you're not supposed to feel and you don't want to go there anymore, because the next thing you’ll know is another goodbye and promises he cannot keep. 

You take another step closer, letting your nose brush against his and surprisingly he doesn't pull away. He's looking at you, you're looking at him. If anyone sees you two right now, they might assume that you two are in love. 

“H, I need to-” you whisper breathlessly, not even sure what you're trying to say but that doesn't matter anymore; not when Harry attaches his lips to yours and kisses you like it's his first and also last kiss.

(Part 4)

This part sucks but it'll get better, I swear.