#Caitlin's Mini Reviews

[bronx-bomber87]

Hello my wonderful fandom family :) We're finally back to new eps. I wasn't ready for this episode in the least. Idk I was ever gonna be ready tbh. If this isn’t the most apt ep name ever following the last ep. Bare with me as I once again sort through my thoughts and such. I'm really struggling with the 'mini' portion of these reviews the last few eps.

Ain't nothing mini about my emotions haha But I am sure come summer they'll be more refined for sure. Also thank you to anyone who reads these thoughts and enjoys them. It's still a trip to me people appreciate my thoughts. I just want to be a ray of sunshine and positivity with these.

A source of comfort while we all go through this together. Cause that's the beauty of fandom. Going through it together. Once again wanna preface there will be ZERO tolerance for bashing of any kind. They are both going through it right now. We all love these characters so much its why we're on here. I love conversation and comments but not spreading hate. With that in mind let's start eh?

6x07 Crushed

Tamara moving out still..... Ugh. I’m so sad about this. Truly the end of an era right here everyone. Also Lucy not wearing her necklace gut punch already to my feels...Poor Lucy wants her to stay but would never ask Tamara to do that. I wanna cry already for Lucy....I hate her necklace being missing and it's very obvious it's missing. *sad sigh*

I do love Lucy taking Tamara out to fancy dinner least. Channeling her emotions into something positive. Wanting to love on her before she goes. Tamara mentioning Tim getting kicked out of Metro…She isn’t wrong it is down hill after the pinnacle of Lucy indeed. Trying to give her a compliment but Lucy isn't taking it that way. I wanna cry for a second time. She looks so distressed. *sigh* Two massive pillars in her life are now gone and it's felt in this brief moment.

Tim in his old Metro office disassembling it. My heart. You all know how much I loved him In Metro. Killing me. Also just shows how much of a nose dive he took after this Ray debacle. Grey seeing this and sighing before going in after him. Tim seems like he’s in robot mode when Wade enters. Saying all the things he thinks Grey wants to hear since he’s back. No real emotion behind it. Just the grunt mentality he thinks he should have.

Gonna be more than just his trust you’re gonna need to earn back my love….Love Wade having him to ride along with Dr. London. Anyone needs it our boy does right now. Of course Tim bites back on this idea why wouldn’t he? Wouldn’t be Tim if he didn’t. Tim saying breaking up with Lucy has nothing to do with the Ray situation. Uh... it has everything to do with that my love EVERYTHING.

Grey standing his ground saying if he wants to regain his trust this is where it starts. I love him saying breaking up with Lucy and being bounced back to patrol due to being reckless makes him question his judgement. As it should…You forget Timothy this man watched you grow with Lucy for years. Saw how much she made you grew and joy she brought out in you. Of course he is questioning your actions. He just watched you throw away the best thing ever that's ever happened to you. Your judgement is being judged severely....

I adore Wade Grey. He's not only putting Tim in his place and saying he could mandate therapy (which he would be justified in doing...) Or take the ride along. Then saying he’s taking Lucy out too. Just so he knows he is looking out for them both in this moment. The man knows what he is doing.

I can’t believe Smitty doing breakup odds. I’m incensed by this tbh. Also I want punch the dude who said Tim would’ve cheated. He would NEVER. How very dare you. I hate that list. It makes me wanna rage out so hard. If any of them knew them at all they’d know it would never be something like that. Also her and Aaron? Ewww no no no.... Lucy had every right to ream Smitty out more than she did. So inappropriate it's insane. For shame sir truly.

I'm glad she shut it down. Last thing they need is the station gossiping about them like this. They're going to anyways but Ugh I hate this whole thing. I feel sick. Of course she runs into Tim right after.... Worst timing ever. Breaks my heart because he still is excited to see her but she isn't ready for him. How could she be? He looks so sad. But Tim what are you expecting my love? No way she is ready to be near you let alone talk. This hurts to watch…Lucy trying so hard just not to have a meltdown right there in the station.

I was very excited for him to have this ride along I will say and this opening scene is why. Dr London on his ass already. I love it. As she should be. Saying he’s bringing Aaron as a buffer. Which he is… Classic avoidance attachment style. That’s our boy. She’s not wrong he prefers surface level relationships (other than Lucy...) to a deep intimacy. His default state with anyone who isn't his girl.

She has him dead to rights already. Saying it’s a defense mechanism when someone is raised by an overly strict or domineering parent. A father. She’s not wrong. We all know his history. Tim of course isn’t about this whatsoever only making her assessment about him even more valid. Their scenes starting off real strong.

Grey wanting to check in on Lucy I do love it. He’s not wrong she’s been through HELL this year. The detectives exam, Jeff Budney and now losing Tim. God this hasn’t been an easy season for her. To say she's going through it is the understatement of the century. I'm hurting for her so very much. Her entire world has been rocked to it's very core in the last week alone. Not mention everything else before this.

It’s so awkward Lucy inviting everyone but Tim to Tamara’s going away dinner…. In front of Dr. London too. That shot from Tim’s body cam seems very intentional. As he looks at everyone she’s inviting but him. Way his head goes back and forth. Grey patting Tim on the arm on the way out. *phew* Rough start to the shift.

Of course their first call is disturbingly close to what she and Tim are dealing with. Not exactly what Lucy needs. Hearing this woman talking about thinking he was the one then it just ended. *heart clutch* Crushed is an apt name for how I was feeling during this episode.

Lucy has clearly kept this all inside for too long with her reaction to the situation. Wade would never set you up like that. Just shows how hyper sensitive she is atm. Why he's doing this ride along with her. He wants to keep you sane not crazy. I wanna hug her so much. 'I do watch too much reality tv. It's my bad' Lmao. Needed a little levity. This made me chuckle.

We hit the ground running about breakups with Dr. London. Honestly no need to beat around the bush for this observation of Tim. ‘Breakups are a trigger for many men. Especially since stereotypical gender roles prevent them from seeking out help. For fear of appearing weak.’ If that isn’t Tim and this entire situation right now…

Hell that's his ENTIRE life. He was shamed into never wanting help and if he did he was meant to feel weak for it. Just like she is stating above. She is very good at her job and just getting started. Tim can't hide in any of his normal brush off statements. Which I love. She has him pegged already and it shows. Quite the opening jab from her to start this off.

Lucy looks on verge of tears at all times right now and I’m dying. Especially when Grey brings up his name. Asking if they’ve talked since the breakup? Melissa straight killing me in this shop right now everyone. Those pre tears.....Saying she thought he didn’t care about her personal life. He’s not wrong if it affects her job it does matter. The point of this ride-along. To gauge where she is currently.

‘Smart to make the connection between IA and them breaking up. ‘Just a bad week.’ Oh its so much more than that…. Lucy protects him of course with the unethical portion. Bad place or not she's not going to cast any suspicion with that. But It’s so very clear she is painfully unaware why he did this to her. To them.

Only that he’s not emotionally available to her. *sigh* This is true. The man is a disaster zone atm. I mean he’s definitely occupied mentally in a way she doesn’t understand yet. Hell I don’t even think Tim understands it really. All he knows is he think's he's toxic and she’s better off without him. Which is a huge part of this episode tbh.

So she isn't wrong he is not emotionally available right now. That much is painfully true. The joke about the Diamondbacks was funny but sad at the same time. They found good way of getting little funnies in there with Grey. I do appreciate that. I'm a sports girl so I this made me smile.

Dr London really coming at Tim in this next section. She is wasting ZERO time with him. ‘Lot of romantic feelings start out as platonic love.’ Going right for it when she says he and Lucy were friends first right? His reaction…Gonna makes me bawl Eric. Hurts to watch this. Looks like he wants to cry. Ugh Tim. Killing me softly. She is getting under his skin quicker than he was expecting and you can tell. Hitting at a very raw nerve he's trying to keep hidden. He looks so distraught and emotional when he replies 'I was her T.O.'

Tim saying he’s not depressed. Oh my love….but you are. Depressed and wracked with a massive amount of guilt. ‘I broke up with her.’ So so defensive. Can’t let good doctor see this whole thing is crushing him. That would be weakness. He is fighting off a panic attack in this moment. So unsettled by this entire interaction. She is picking up on that guilt that is all but exuding out of him in this moment.

She really brings it home saying internalizing guilt and shame leads to self directed anger. Self harm and suicide. If that isn't Tim Bradford my god. The self directed anger is him in spades. His face while she tells him all this.. Oh my lord. She has him dead to rights once again. He is experiencing so much guilt about it and it’s written all over his face. Tim is barely keeping it together while she is telling him stonewalling will only get him sidelined. Honestly I’m glad she’s confronting him like this. Coming at him so hard cause Tim needs that especially right now.

He can’t have passive people in this life when it comes to this kind of stuff. The one person who could knock sense into him he’s pushed away. So Dr. London being here is much needed. Of course Tim snaps at Aaron cause he can’t handle what he’s currently going through. Lashing out because what she is saying to him is true and he isn't able to handle it. Hitting very close to home. So he's defaulting back to S1 Tim in this moment. Destroying Aaron in the process..

I love them talking about Tamara and the unconditional love Lucy has shown her. It’s so true. It’s that love that gave her courage to leave. Even though it's hard to watch happen. It shows what accepting unconditional love can do for you. Lucy bringing back to Tim because how could she not? Mentioning about letting people go even if you really care about them them. *sigh*. You can tell she is on the verge of tears once again.

That feeling where you've been keeping it inside for far too long. It comes out in anything you talk about. Like right now in this moment. Even talking about Tamara is cycling back to Tim and it shows how deeply upset she is. How could she not be? She is losing two of her people in one fail swoop. It's a miracle she hadn't lost it sooner than this moment tbh.

Lucy crushing me some more in this episode. Further proving she has zero idea why Tim did what he did. How he could let go so easily. It was a blindside for us all but none more than for her. His person. The one who never ever expected him to leave her side. Tim did leave her with a cheap cliche nonsense about deserving better. It's so much complex than that but I can see why she is so angry about that. She deserved better than that.

It’s what upset her so much in that 6x06 scene. Because it felt like a cop out to her. When it’s so much deeper than that but Lucy doesn’t know that. Thats what killing me and her. Lucy going off saying it was her decision to make what she deserves. It’s true. She is so justified in saying this. Sadly Tim made that decision despite her willingness to love him no matter what.

Took away her choice to keep him even if he felt he wasn't worthy. Wasn't just HIS choice to make. That's what pissing her off and rightfully so. He doesn’t understand the unconditional love she had to give him or how to accept it. All he could see was how much better she was without him. All she wants is a real conversation with him and she didn't get to have that. He took the choice away from her and she's left holding the emotional bag of it all and it sucks.

Punches keep rolling with Dr London. Attacking his problem at it's damaged root. As much as he is trying to bury it he cannot hide from her and her assessment of him. This is a huge turning point in the ep. Tim saying he owns his mistakes and moves on. So cut and dry and she isn’t having ANY of it. Nor should she. He hasn’t moved on in the slightest. Once again pegging him for not only not being over it but having his whole identity being wrapped up in acting honorably. If he was past that he wouldn’t have ended things with Lucy. We wouldn't be here. But he feels not worthy and not honorable enough for Lucy so he cut ties.

Her noting it’s had a devastating effect on his self esteem. Which is why he is punishing himself. i.e He let the love of his life go. He feels he doesn’t deserve such things for being so un-honorable. My broken boy. Tim isn’t sure what’s she is getting at. Asking what she's talking about? She continues to portray him accurately. That he is punishing himself by depriving himself of something he loves. Something that brings him joy. Or someone....Clearly that someone being Lucy.

The joy she brought to his life he no longer feels he deserves. Lucy was the one constant in his life that made him happy. So he’s depriving himself of it in order to punish himself. This sounds so harsh and severe but I relate to this. When I was new at my current job. I wasn’t very good at first. I was down right on the verge of being fired. I got a game plan to fix myself from my leader. BUT I was punishing myself for not being good enough in the first place. How did I do this? I took away something I loved and brought me joy. Music.

I refused to listen to music during my job because I felt I didn’t deserve it. I wouldn’t let myself enjoy it till I was better and had earned it back. I got to a place where I let myself have something I loved back and it helped so much and ultimately got me through it. So I relate to Tim doing this to himself i really do. He is denying the one person who brings him joy because of that self-punishment. He feels he has failed who he should be therefore he can't have what he wants and needs most. Lucy. You can really see it hit Tim by time Aaron rejoins them. She hit the nail on the head and Tim is feeling it.

Lucy spotting Tim and touching her tattoo SO MUCH. Ugh my heart. Her grounding method to remind herself she's a survivor. The problem with all that is him being the reason for that reminder. Which just hurts. I'm not crying you are....Tim so out of his depth all he can do is be awkward with his ‘Clocking out?’ Babe....No...(Also I feel personally attacked by this song they chose for this scene.)

Lucy calling him out for it instantly. Because well she’s his person. Bad place or not she is always gonna tell him what he needs to hear. Won't let him hide behind niceties. Confronting that things aren't ok between them and she won't let him use it to hide. Asking for a real adult conversation with him. One which he is NOT ready for. This hurt to watch not gonna lie. This whole situation hurts.

Tim deflects….with another cheap answer of saying he can’t give her what she wants. Ugh. You are everything she wants you foolish man. I don’t blame Lucy for cutting that convo off at the knees. She wanted more depth from him and got nothing in return. Telling him he has more to figure out than she realized…and feeling like she is no longer than person to help him with that.

My heart is breaking all over again… Lucy always felt she was his person to get him through anything and to hear this only hurts her further. Coming to that realization and taking off because of it. The song running through this scene is poignant and hurtful…Also the continual clutching to her tattoo as she departs from him. I'll just be weeping in the corner don't mind me....

I wasn't expecting the scene we got here in Grey's office. But was so pleasantly surprised. My hope was that Dr. London broke through to him. That his ride along with her wouldn't be a one-off. I’m so proud of Tim I can't even tell you. To not only see he has work to do but to ask if he could start seeing her as a patient. He seemed disappointed she didn't mandate sessions. Which he needed so he could advocate for himself. Blair had pegged him early on and I think this will be so so good for him.

His healing journey is starting now and I’m so excited for him. Even though my heart is outside my chest right now for our couple. This is going to be good for Tim. I know people have been weird about Dr London. I haven’t gotten a bad feeling from her. I could be wrong but haven't gotten that. I think this is the healing Eric was talking about. That journey he needs to be in order to find his way back to Lucy. Grey's line was perfect. It's SO hard to ask for help. Tim can see something is wrong and wants to fix it. This is a beautiful start to this journey for him.

This final scene with Tamara and Lucy made me cry. This whole ep has made me cry really. Their relationship has always been one of my favorites. To watch how they’ve both grown. How Tamara learned to trust again and receive that unconditional love Lucy had to give. Gah I love it so much. Took a broken untrusting girl and molded her into a confident bad ass. I've never been able to classify what they are. They're sisters, friends and family all wrapped up in one.

Hard to watch Lucy lose this piece of her life on top of everything else. Tim may have a lot of growth to do but I think Lucy too has room to grow from this all as well. She has been given quite the bad hand in this season. Maybe she can get some direction and clarity what she wants to do with career and such. I hate that she has to be the collateral damage to everything this year. It's hard to watch. But I am interested to see how she handles it all. See how she stands after all this. I think as hard as this is will end up making her more resilient.

Lucy been struggling with her own stuff this year as well. Being so good about pegging everyone around her but being blind in her own self awareness. it's going to be interesting to see how Lucy handles everything moving forward. I hope you all know how deeply my heart breaks for her. I don't like seeing her hurt anymore than I do Tim. I wanted to cry for her most of this episode. That being said I do think this growth journey will be good for her as well. Like Eric said she'll be ok they'll grow stronger from it. Can't wait to see how it plays out.

I wasn’t expecting one more scene with him reaching out like this. Telling her she was right. He’s mad himself. That stark realization that is coming over him. My god I’m so proud of him I could burst. Not only advocating for himself but telling her it was an emergency. When everything inside him is trying to do the 'honorable thing' and not call it an emergency when it is. To see he's not being a burden by reaching out like this. It’s so hard to take care of yourself when you don’t think much of yourself. It’s a foreign feeling and to act on it even more so.

Learning it’s ok to ask for help, to be imperfect, to set healthy boundaries and grow. Not an easy place to get to. This scene is HUGE for Tim. Now I mean this in the nicest way I can muster but If you can't grasp how groundbreaking this is for him you don't get him as a character at all. Nor do you understand the gravity of this SL/situation. Of what this final scene represents for him. Tim is seeing something is broken within himself and he doesn't know how to fix it. All he knows is something is wrong and he doesn't want to feel this way anymore. He wants to understand why and to get better.

I know I spent most of my 20's running away from therapy. Saying I didn't need it. That it was non sense. Pushing everything down and deflecting like Tim did. Wrapping my identity in the same things. Being SO DAMN HARD on myself. I still struggle with this but learning to give myself more grace. I can't properly explain the feeling you get when you realize you can't out run your demons anymore. What sets off something inside you that says 'I don't feel right, I don't know how to fix it but I know it's time to.' All I know is what sets it off is different for everyone.

For me it was the fact that I was set off by a kind comment. It was from a sweet lady who was a client of mine. Who commented on earrings my mother had gotten me. I hadn't thought much of it then she looked me in the eye with so much sincerity and said 'Your mother must love you very much.' That comment just hit me so hard. Triggered me. Cause some of my deepest seated trauma comes from my mom. I remember getting in my car and crying after. Texting my sister and telling her I thought it was time I got help. All I knew was something was wrong and it was clawing to the surface and I couldn't ignore it any longer.

That's Tim in this moment. Ray resurfacing was his demons coming up for air and not going away. This is his 'Come to Jesus.' moment about himself. Knowing what Dr. London was telling him today rang true. He just doesn't know to handle it and is reaching out for help to sort it out. Now He couldn’t gotten to this place without Lucy let’s not forget that. Tim wouldn't be in the place he is without her. BUT this is not Lucy's responsibility to fix. Nor should it be. As much as we love her being his person, this is Tim journey to go on.

Now my family/friends got me to place where I could see I needed help. Just like Lucy has for Tim. But it was up to me to take the first step. That's what this scene represents for him. His first step on his journey to healing himself. He knows he has work to do and I know he'll do it. He and I are alike and he will put his all into this. I'm excited the writers did what they did in this ep. Shows they're going to put the proper care into this SL. I can see a pathway way to their healing now and I feel like I can breathe for the first time in three weeks. I'm excited to see where the rest of the season goes for them both I really am. As always thank you for any likes, comments or reblogs I get for these they mean the world.

~~~

Side notes-non Chenford. Mostly lol

I like the idea of Celina moving in but she’s not wrong it would be an emotional minefield… but do love the idea of her living Lucy I don’t want her to be alone. Have one little win for her.

This was the song during that finale scene. Thank you D to finding the link above. it's Chenford Personified in this ep. Once again whoever is doing this songs. You need a damn raise this hurt so good. The lyrics were so Poignant and painful. These one were my fav. 'I miss you. I miss you. I’ll always forgive you."

She will forgive Tim because that's who Lucy is. One of the many reasons Tim fell in love with her. That never ending desire to trust people and forgive them. To see the best in them. She will look at the deeper meaning of his actions and help him past them once he gets there himself. He will have to earn that forgiveness of hers and I have no doubt he will.

This will be a process of that I have no doubt. It won't be quick or easy but my god it'll be worth it. They always are. I don't expect this to be resolved by seasons end but I do expect them to be on their way there by the finale. This is a beautiful growth journey they're about to embark on and I'm ready to go on it.

[samkerrworshipper]

sticker chart | kyra cooney cross & reader x arsenal women’s team

r and kyra r the pranksters of the team… but what happens when they take it too far and the arsenal parents seperate them as a result

no warnings just some fluff angst and chaotic bestfriend energy

“Kyra, Y/n, time out, right now.”

It was Steph’s burst of anger that had your eyes bursting open, both you and Kyra sharing an apprehensive glance. The both of you looked up from your current predicament, which was the drink bottle that you’d just emptied onto Alessia’s head. Her jaw was almost on the ground, and her body was shaking already from the cold water.

In a split second telepathic decision you and Kyra made the decision to bolt, sprinting away from the training ground and your teammates as fast as possible, the both of you cackling as you made it into the safety of the London Colney gym, running as fast as possible into the team room and the both of you searching for a hiding spot.

“In the cupboard.”

Kyra motioned towards the cupboard in the corner of the gym, the long rectangular cupboard being just large enough for the two of you, so you squeezed into it, just closing the door in time to hear a series of footsteps running towards the gym.

The both of you held your breath, holding in the laughs that were building up in the bottom of your stomach.

The two of you were trouble. Always setting up pranks and getting on the nerves on your senior babysitters. Majority of your pranks were centred around Vic and Alessia, the two of you taking advantage of the younger, innocent girls who were so easy to target. It got you in a lot of trouble, especially with Steph, Caitlin, Kim, Leah and Viv, who were stretched thin trying to stop whatever menacing plans that you and your best friend were plotting.

It was a pointless task, the two of you were unstoppable, and always finding yourselves in trouble. It had gotten to a point where you’d been separated indefinitely in training, and the two of you were on your last chance at Steph’s house, being told that the next time you shaved her dog in the middle of the night or woke her and her fiance up with screaming noises. The two of you for whatever reason just couldn’t stop, you were invincible in the world of pranks and it was completely destructive to the Arsenal community, no one was safe.

The both of you bit down on the insides of your cheeks as you heard the doors to the gym open, and a pitter patter of cleats tapping against the floor of the gym.

“The both of you have three seconds before all of your tv privileges and cheat days are taken away for the next month.”

You shook your head at Kyra, whos eyes bursted open at the mention of the removal of your cheat days, Kyra, for whatever reason, had been craving deep fried chicken and a icecream sundae. It was weird, and normally every Thursday you had a cheat day, so her craving could be relieved, but last Thursday the video review, for whatever reason, had gone over by two hours, so by the time it was over it was far past the time window of getting food, leaving a very grumpy and hangry Kyra who was desperate for the foodher body was craving.

Cheat days were her weakness, so you pulled her hand down before she had the opportunity to open the cupboard doors and reveal your hiding spot to Steph.

“1.”

Kyra’s body shook against your own, her bones jumping inside of her body in an attempt to try and leave the box that you’d inserted yourself.

“I swear to god if I get to three and neither of you are out here I’m calling mini and Sam.”

That was definitely another weakness for the two of you, the both of you slightly terrified of the idea of your seconds moms getting a call about your less than adequate behaviour.

“2.”

Steph’s voice loitered, she was leaving room for the two of you to come out.

You were stubborn, Kyra was not, you fought to keep her from fighting her way out of the cupboard, but it was a losing battle, that had the two of you tumbling out of the wooden box and leaving you completely vulnerable to Steph, who marched her way over to the two of you immediately.

“I’ve had enough of you two today, your going to go to the lockerooms, sit in your cubby for twenty five minutes and think about your fucking behaviour before you go and apologise to Vic and Less, am I clear?”

With Steph’s towering form above you, neither of you were in any position to refuse, so you just nodded like kicked puppies and picked yourselves up from the floor, dragging your feet towards the locker rooms, your bodies slowly moving like prisoners walking into a jail.

When you got to the locker rooms, the both of you walked over to your respective cubbies, sitting down and facing the wall.

It was a fairly common occurrence for you two, you spent probably eighty percent of all your time at London Colney besides training in your cubby, at least one training a fortnight saw you here, if not more. You didn’t really mind, it was worth it considering all the fun you and Kyra got up too.

Replacing Leah’s shampoo bottle with pink hair dye, stealing all of the girls clothes whilst they were in the showers, tying everybody's cleats together, mixing up all of the jerseys in the laundry room, replacing the water jugs with apple cider vinegar, replacing all the name tags on the secret santa gifts, taking Alessia’s beloved car for a joyride, showing up to training on moon boots and crutches, faking running away.

The list was endless, concerningly. It got you into trouble, for sure, but for you guys it was some light hearted fun, your way of keeping yourselves entertained in a foreign country that was still new to you.

You could hear Kyra thinking from the other side of the room, out of the two of you she was the more remorseful one, but she was also the plotter and cheekier one. You ran along with whatever she came up with, and your commitment to whatever plan she had was unmatched, once you decided you were doing something you committed.

“Kyra for fucks sakes stop the tapping.”

It was driving you insane, listening to Kyra’s fingers tapping against the wall of her cubby, one of her anxious habits.

“Time out is silent time, speak up again and I’ll start the timer over.”

You tried to block out Steph’s voice, but it hung over you like a big grey cloud, your brain silently drowning itself in your skull as you studied the uniform wall that was the inside of your cubby. It was exceptionally boring, and it didn’t seem to matter how many times the two of you found yourselves in this situation, it was still as boring as ever.

You listened out for people coming in and out of the locker rooms, the door swinging open and the sound of studs against concrete. You weren’t rewarded with the sound of voices or conversation, everyone who filtered in being silent. It was hard to monitor who was coming in and out with your vision completely compromised.

You sat as still as you could manage, not at all wanting to have to sit for any longer than what Steph had already ordered you.

You didn’t doubt that she would reset the timer if you did speak up again, Steph was a softie, but she never let up on a promise, especially when it came to taking care of you and Kyra, something that you knew she was getting sick of, the both of you toeing the line constantly.

It did get you thinking, sure a harmless prank was fun, Katie was the biggest supporter of your pranks, always egging the two of you on from the sidelines, and yet she never got in trouble for it, it was always you and Kyra, the troublesome duo that had been adopted by the Arsenal parents.

“Both of you, turn around.”

You took a deep breath, shuffling around on your ass and blinking to adjust to the bright lights that were a vast contrast to the darkness of the corner of your cubby.

You were rewarded with the sight of Steph, Caitlin, Viv, Kim and Leah all with their jaws set and looking at you with significant disapproval. Alessia and Vic were loitering at their own lockers, sitting in the seats in front of them their hands and heads pointing down towards their laps.

“We’re sorry?”

Steph’s frown only managed to deepen, it was clear that she was nothing short of furious.

“You’re sorry? The two of you have single handedly pulled a series of completely destructive pranks that have taken it too far. Do I need to bring up the chalk spray paint on Manu’s car? Or the midnight door knocking at Stina and Amanda’s house? We’ve all given you chances, all enabled you to have a little bit of fun, but you’ve pushed it way past the point of funny.”

Kyra just closed in on herself, you had a little bit more fight in you, a little bit more defiance.

“We didn’t even do anything that bad today.”

Steph’s eyebrows rose even more than you thought humanly possible.

“That’s a joke right?”

You bit your lip, tossing up the day's events in your mind.

“I mean I don’t understand why Vic is here to be honest, Lessi whatever but we didn’t do anything to Vic.”

Steph blinked at you, her jaw almost dropping to the floor.

“So throwing Vic’s shoes on the roof of the building was nothing?”

You snorted as you recalled Kyra and your happenings of the mornings, which had included tossing a pair of Vic’s shoes on the roof, not to say that you didn’t get them down when the time came around for her to need them.

“We gave them back?”

This time it wasn’t Steph who answered your question, Caitlin stood up from her seat Walking closer towards you.

“You should be fucking glad you did. Look, I understand, you guys are young and you like to have fun, but it constantly being at the expense of everyone else is getting annoying, and neither of you have made any motions to stop or even begin to think about how your fucking pranks affect everybody else, Steph is stressed out of her mind having to babysit the two of you twenty four seven, we all are.”

You could feel the conversation leading somewhere, Kyra’s puppy dog eyes were pleading with Caitlin but her tough guy act didn’t fade.

“I’m getting the feeling that this is leading to something and I just want to put it out there that I dibs anywhere but Chelsea if we have to move clubs.”

Caitlin just rolled her eyes at your attempt at humour, it was humour hidden behind genuine fear, because there was no way in fucking hell you were trading breezy arsenal for Sammy’s Chelsea, where you knew she would drill sergeant you and Kyra into being boring and non pranksters.

“You know what we all have every right to send you off to Sam, how do you think she’d react hearing about all the shit that the two have you have gotten up to?”

She’d probably go ballistic. She’d gotten a taste of you and Kyra’s trouble making at the women's world cup and had very quickly put a stop to it, nipping it in the bud before it got to your current spiral.

“But you aren’t?”

You noticed from the corner of your eye that Kyra was looking very stressed from her corner of the room.

“Ky, come here.”

You opened up your arms to your best friend, unbothered as to whether or not you were disrupting Caitlin’s spiel, you were just worried about your friend. She slid her way across the benches until she made it to your side, digging her head into your neck and shoulder.

“No, we’re not, but honestly I think you’d prefer to stay with Sam then what you’re going to be dealing with.”

You visibly cringed, there wasn’t a lot of things that were worse than being in Sam’s bad books. You let your eyes flash across to the other captains and women who were in the room, aware that they were probably a part of whatever plot Caitlin and Steph had formed. Your curiosity peaked as you squinted at Caitlin, your anxiety spiking a little bit.

“W-what do you mean?”

Kyra’s voice quivered from your neck, her soft puppy dog pout hopefully doing wonders to convince the older women to back out of whatever they had planned. It was her signature move, and you were fairly sure that Steph would see through it, but there was always a point in trying.

“You’re both moving out of Steph’s, it’s not fair to her anymore to be burdened with the both of you. So Kyra, your going to Leah and Lia, Y/n you are staying with Beth and Viv.”

Your jaw slackened, Kyra jerking up in your arms as soon as the words left her mouth.

“What? You can’t separate us, we’re like conjoined twins, we’ll like die if you separate us.”

Caitlin kept up her stern facade, leaving zero room for vulnerability.

“You should have thought about that before you chose to take it too far. We’ve given you plenty of chances and you blew every single one off. So until the two of you can learn how to cohabitate without causing serious danger to the people around you, you’ll be separated. Beth and Lia have already been over to Steph’s house and collected your things. You both have sticker charts, when the two of you can go a whole two months without any seriously debilitating pranks then we’ll look at potentially letting the two of you move back in together.”

Kyra’s eyes lit up at the mention of a sticker chart, you were focused on your dignity, so even if the idea of shiny gold stickers did appeal to you, you tried to fight it.

“A fucking sticker chart? We’re not fucking six year olds and last time I checked this is a free country, so who says that you guys can control who and where we live anyway?”

This time it was Kim who stood up, intimidating both you and Kyra slightly.

“You’re acting like bloody six year olds. Last time I checked neither of you own apartments, neither of you have earned that kind of responsibility. So you are going to suck it up, your going home with a trusted adult and if you even try to pull anymore of the shit you’ve been pulling for the last few months there will be calls to Sam and Minnie who I have no doubt will have a lot more to say. Am I clear?”

Kyra and you nodded deftly, the both of you taken aback by Kim’s sterness.

“Do we get gold star stickers?”

You rolled your eyes at Kyra’s question, her big doe eyes peaking out of your neck to look at Kim.

“You can have whatever fucking stickers you like, I doubt they’ll be any need for them any time soon considering just how much trouble seems to find the two of you.”

You and Kyra played the pitiful act as you were led away by your respective caregivers, faux tears falling down your faces as Leah and Viv practically dragged you in the direction of their cars.

As soon as the car doors closed though and the babysitters were focusing their energy on the roads though, the two of you were already texting, plotting your next move in retaliation to the banishment that had the two of you grounded to Viv and Leah’s homes.

———————————————————————

notes:

thinking of turning this into a series of kyra and t just being completely chaotic besties so lmk how we feel about that !

[mhkeiger]

Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: NWT Cinq a Sept Caitlin Puff-Sleeve Navy Tiered Mini Dress.

[bulletnotestudies]

Welcome back to another autumn mini reading challenge! Like last year, this is a shorter one to bridge the gap between our longer summer and winter challenges 🍂

RULES:  → reblog this post if you're participating → the challenge officially starts on october 1st and ends with november 30th, but you’re welcome to finish it at your own pace → use the tag #studyblr w/knives reading challenge when you post your updates/pics → the challenge is ofc, as usual, also on storygraph (check the notes for the link)

once you’ve read a book that fits a prompt, cross it out on the above template and/or share your thoughts on it in a post here on tumblr; make sure to mark any spoilers (hide them under a cut etc.), so people can avoid them if needed :) you can also have just one post and update it as you go, or you can post good ol’ aesthetic book pics!

as always, if you have any questions, my asks are open 🍂

(our book recs for this challenge are below the cut)

Since this is a mini reading challenge, there won't be separate book rec posts, but we still compiled a couple good reads for you, just in case you can't think of a book to read for any of the prompts :)

The Atlas Six - Olivie Blake

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo

The Eight - Katherine Neville

Read any book released this year that you've been excited for!

The Charm Offensive - Alison Cochrun

Radio Silence - Alice Oseman

The Yellow Wallpaper - Charlotte Perkins Gilman

A book that makes you nostalgic!

The Inheritance Games - Jennifer Lynn Barnes

The Gilded Wolves - Roshani Chokshi

An Absolutely Remarkable Thing - Hank Green

Six of Crows - Leigh Bardugo

All the Light We Cannot See - Anthony Doerr

A Little Life - Hanya Yanagihara

Murder on the Orient Express - Agatha Christie

In My Dreams I Hold a Knife - Ashley Winstead

If We Were Villains - M.L. Rio

Maus - Art Spiegelman

Gideon the Ninth - Tamsyn Muir

The Dangers of Smoking in Bed - Mariana Enríquez

The Hollow Places - T. Kingfisher

In the Dream House - Carmen Maria Machado

The Anthropocene Reviewed - John Green

Smoke Gets in Your Eyes - Caitlin Doughty

Cemetery Boys - Aiden Thomas

Pumpkinheads - Rainbow Rowell

Dracula - Bram Stoker

A Dowry of Blood - S.T. Gibson

The Haunting of Hill House - Shirley Jackson

[sjgomzi]

Book Review:

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ to read #79 for the year- Daughter Of Hounds by Caitlin R. Kiernan.

A brilliant and action packed finale to her Deacon Silvey trilogy. This is a reread, and it gets better and better every time I read it. Kind of like a Kiernan’s greatest hits collection. The ghouls , Madame Terpsichore, The Bailiff, the underground labyrinth beneath Rhode Island’s Swan Point cemetery, The Children Of The Cuckoo, The Yellow House at 135 Benefit St, time manipulation, mini universes captured inside snow globes… all kinds of cool shit! Kiernan’s imagination and brilliant prose are on full display here. Can be read as a stand-alone, but my recommendation is to start with Threshold and then read Low Red Moon before tackling this. You will get so much more out of it. All three books are very different, and are all fantastic. As a matter of fact, go read everything by Caitlin Kiernan! 📚📚📚

[miskatonicaquarium]

Weird Fiction/Cosmic Horror Recommends

In a time of general uncertainty and anxiety, one thing that is certain is that weird fiction/cosmic horror has got your back. If you like to combat your growing sense of existential dread by reading about other people’s growing sense of existential dread, this is a list for you. Where texts and shows are available online, I have included links. Where they are not, I have included links to where they are available to buy.

Books

Agents of Dreamland – Caitlin R Kiernan

Government agents, ritual murders, a doomsday cult and a glitch in NASA’s interplanetary probe all feature in this deeply frightening and deftly written novella that takes classic Lovecraftian tropes and expands on them with mesmerising skill.

Wanderers – Chuck Wendig

When a sleepwalking epidemic hits America, those affected head towards a destination known only to themselves. Desperate to keep their loved ones safe, ‘shepherds’ follow the growing group to protect them on their journey. This is an incredibly rewarding read stuffed full of complex characters, apocalyptic horror and a long hard look at human nature.

Winter Tide – Ruthanna Emrys

After the government raid on Innsmouth, Aphra and Caleb Marsh are the only inhabitants of the town to survive the desert internment camps. When confidential, dangerous magic is stolen from Miskatonic University, the FBI are forced to turn to the last of the Marsh’s for help. An evocative and sympathetic novel that takes the antagonists of Lovecraft’s works and paints them in a new light.

The Fisherman – John Langan

This is considered to be a modern classic of the genre and for good reason. It’s best to go into this one as blind as possible so I’ll just leave you with this little quote: "I know Dutchman's Creek runs deep, much deeper than it could or should, and I don't like to think what it's full of."

Carter and Lovecraft – Jonathan L. Howard

A homicide detective turned Private Investigator finds himself embroiled with the last known descendant of H.P Lovecraft, Emily Lovecraft. When deaths that have an eerie resemblance to the writing of Emily’s ancestor begin to plague the area, the investigator finds himself drawn into a world he thought didn’t exist beyond fiction.

Rosewater – Tade Thompson

The first in an award-winning trilogy that blends science fiction into the weird in near future Nigeria. When an alien biodome manifests in the landscape, a select group of people in the surrounding area begin developing psychic abilities. A winding, disturbing tale with an original setting, voice and characters; this is the perfect read for those looking for a fresh take on the genre.  

North American Lake Monsters: Stories – Nathan Ballingrud

I am hugely obsessed with this – Ballingrud uses tropes and characters we are all familiar with and uses them to tell stories that shed light on the plight of rural, poverty-stricken America. He is a masterful author with a true gift for atmospheric writing (‘Late summer pressed onto this small Mississippi coastal town like the heel of a boot. The heat was an act of violence.’) and this collection will appeal to fans of Ligotti and Barron as well as those who are unfamiliar with the genre.

The Ballad of Black Tom – Victor LaValle

This is essentially a retelling of Lovecraft’s The Horror at Red Hook (but without the blatant racism, hooray!). A slow burn, cosmic horror noir featuring a who’s who of the Cthulhu Mythos, for those interested in the genre who do not get on with Lovecraft’s writing or the man himself, this is an excellent way to get all the good stuff without the bad.

Anthologies

A Lonely and Curious Country: Tales from the land of Lovecraft

Seventeen stories about Lovecraftian horrors in the most unusual of places. Lots of these work as mini-sequels to Lovecraft’s original stories so this is a good companion for those familiar with his work.

Lovecraft Unbound

As I’ve said before, Ellen Datlow is a powerhouse of anthology editing. Featuring a great spread of familiar mythos faces and more thematic takes on the genre, Lovecraft Unbound is one of the best collections out there.

Book of Cthulhu

There are a couple of these! All feature some of the best contemporary authors writing weird fiction. Quality of individual stories sometimes varies in Lovecraftian anthologies but that is not the case here. The first is particularly good as it also contains stories from older, more obscure writers who are hard to get in print.

Shadows of Carcosa

Twelve short stories that feature everything from the land of carcosa to the traditionally Lovecraftian setting of the cursed hills of New England. All of these are shorts written by classic writers such as Poe, Stoker, Bierce, Chambers and Blackwood.

Lovecraft’s Monsters

Another collection edited by Datlow. This one is particularly fun as it features illustrations, as well as a story by Neil Gaiman. Lovecraft’s Monsters is amongst my favourite of the anthologies as it is based solely around the creatures that crawl and squirm through the mythos. It’s also available as an audiobook!

Children of Lovecraft

Fourteen short stories including authors like Stephen Graham Jones, Orrin Grey, Caitlin R. Kiernan and Livia Llewellyn. Full of body horror, dread, surrealism and one of the best opening sentences to any short story.

She Walks in Shadows

A monumental, fascinating collection comprised of exclusively female authors. Offering a long overdue look at and development of the female aspects of the mythos, this collection gives a voice to the previously unheard. For those looking for a diverse, original and often deeply disturbing reading experience, this is your anthology.

Available online for free

The Lovecraft Ezine has a great archive here of all its previous issues

Weird Fiction Review is an excellent resource for online fiction – both excerpts from books and stand-alone short stories.

The Online Books page has direct links to the issues of Weird Tales magazine published between 1923 – 192. 

TOR.COM is an amazing resource for all kinds of science fiction and fantasy shorts. This is a link specifically to Lovecraftian fiction. There’s also lots of interesting things to read under the tag cosmic horror here.

Graphic Novels

Fatale - Sex, violence, cults, cosmic horror, imaginative period settings and gorgeous artwork. Fatale is one of the best comics set in the mythos out there.

Locke and Key - Many of you will be familiar with Joe Hill and Gabriel Rodriguez’s hugely popular (and now televised) series focused on a house above a portal to the plains of Leng.

Harrow County - Creepy, rural-based, folk horror series centred on a young woman who finds herself to be joined to the forest and the land in ways she could never have imagined.

The Squidder - A postapocalyptic Lovecraftian mess, I have included this because it is worth buying for the artwork alone. Ben Templesmith is an acquired taste but an incredibly talented illustrator whose work is uniquely suited to the mythos.

I have talked about these several times before but it is always worth checking out I.N.J Culbard’s graphic novel adaptations of Lovecraft’s stories, as well as the two anthologies that were released several years ago.

*** 

Films – Cosmic Horror

I have linked to the trailers for each of these, some are classics you will know, some are new. 

The Colour out of Space 

Die Fabre

The Dunwich Horror

The Endless

Event Horizon

The Void

Europa Report

Black Mountain Side 

Films – Folk Horror

The Ritual

They Remain

The White Reindeer

Night of the Demon 

Apostle

More generally, some good online resources for old/weird/out of print books are

Project Gutenberg – an online library of over 60,000 books in the public domain

Internet Archive – a great resource for obscure books (particularly historical)

Europeana – items from Europe’s galleries, museums, libraries and archives

Digital Public Library of America – similar to Europeana, but for America

Classic Literature – lots of 19th century gothic goodness in particular, but great for all the classics too!

And when it all gets too much and you feel like being your own creeping dread,  Here is a link to a fun game where you can be the rats in the walls. 

[taiblogcomics]

Something In The Blood

Hey there, food truck clowns. There's clearly a problem with my shipment at this point, so I'm just gonna keep reviewing Ravagers until it gets here. Sound good to you guys~?

Here's the cover:

Here we see an example of T-posing for dominance that just doesn't work. Brother Blood can't be bothered to even look at Ridge's display. This cover is very orange. I hope you like orange, because that's all this cover has going for it. Brother Blood rises, The Dark Knight Rises... What's with all the rising on this cover~? My interest certainly isn't rising, I'll tell you that for true~

So last time, Harvest sent out his best guy to collect his wayward charges, and they killed him by removing their tracking devices. Not to get all Staples commercial on you, but that was easy. So we open this issue with three extravagantly-dressed goth ladies handing Brother Blood his headdress and other ceremonial accoutremonts. The ladies inform Blood that one who bears power is coming, and use some blood to make a 3D sculpture of the Ravagers (including Beast Boy and Terra). It doesn't tell him which bears the power he's seeking, so he sends out his acolytes to retrieve them all. One in six chance, that's pretty good, right~?

So we return to our main characters' narrative with a splash page devoted to being a pin-up of Caitlin Fairchild. That totally figures, doesn't it? Despite her own undressed status (down to her underwear), she's recoiling in horror that the rest of her team have stripped bare and are splashing around in a river. Hey, guys, that's a different kind of two-page splash than you usually do around here. Ridge protests that they need a relaxation break for a bit, and honestly Caitlin could do with some relaxing herself. So Ridge uses his tail to drag her into the water as well.

But yeah, these teens are butt-ass nekkid now. Ridge is standing on full display, and thankfully he doesn't even have any junk down below. That's the probably the least horrifying thing, though, as Thunder and Lightning discover that the Tron lines don't disappear just because their suits are off. Lightning in particular begins having such a panic attack about it that Ridge has to haul Caitlin back out of the water so she doesn't get fried by Lightning's, well, lightning. Thunder, on the other hand, is immune to her powers, so he tries to calm his sister. He's been looking to channel all this stuff into action instead. And luckily for him, a bunch of Brother Blood's goons show up, giving him the perfect opportunity.

Meanwhile, a few miles north, Beast Boy and Terra are stealing baked goods. Beast Boy is insistant they gotta go, based on the dreams they had, but Terra is nonchalant. Girl, you two had identical dreams, and you're dismissing it? Before they can discuss it further, a bunch of stereotypical dads appear and point their guns at the pair. That's their baked goods, and ain't no kids stealing their bagels this morning, y'see? The problem, of course, is that they're holding at gunpoint kids who can make the rocks move and turn into wolves. They quickly beat up these average guys probably just having a camping trip,, but then BB gets another vision of Brother Blood's doings. No ignoring them now...

Back over with the other group, Ridge and Caitlin begin beating up the various Blood acolytes while speculating aloud where they came from. They're a bit mindless for any of NOWHERE's factions, at least as far as Ridge can recognise. While at first they can hold their own, the Blood goons just keep coming, and soon their numbers start to overwhelm the Ravagers. One even gets a pretty painful knife wound across Lightning's back. By the way, they've still all been fighting naked this whole time.

Just when they're about to get really overpowered, Brother Blood himself shows up. Surprisingly, Blood apologises for how rough things got, and uses his powers to heal the wound on Lightning's back as a show of good faith. He then declares they're all going to be good friends. Yay, friends! In fact, Blood promises to take all their pain away, which Lightning astonishingly notes is true.

As Terra and Beast Boy run through the woods towards the scent of whatever it is that's driving Beast Boy (I can't even call him BB too much, not when Brother Blood is also in the issue), they come across those dads again. Now I'm sure it really is a camping trip, because there's a wife and son among them now as well. But also among them are more Blood acolytes, all carrying big daggers and a huge skull-shaped cauldron between them.

I guess they're running low on blood and have decided these people will be their fresh supply. Beast Boy doesn't like that, and turns into a big red gorilla to beat them all up. And the comic ends with one more shot of Brother Blood, as he casually drains the blood out of Thunder, while Lightning gazes at him with rapt admiration. Hmm, methinks there may be something more sinister behind his offer of friendship~

Honestly, my main complaint about the issue is that everyone was either naked or nearly so for the whole thing. Otherwise, I think it’s actually a pretty good issue. No one’s being assholes to each other, there’s a battle being fought... Beast Boy especially gets in some good moments, and since we know where this all ends up, it only makes sense for him to get some focus. Brother Blood is also an interesting villain so far, despite my complaints last time about him debuting outside an actual Teen Titans story. And that’s pretty minor in the grand scheme of things. Now if everyone could just put on some damn pants for next issue, this could actually be a sort of decent mini-series~

[sonipanda]

Another unique pair hits the blog today, and I know it will be an acquired taste for some. I thought they were pretty cool and can be dressed quite well as long as you have the right outfit.

I can imagine serious colour being paired with this, taking colour blocking to the max However I played it safe and just went with one colour.

The Spec

Colour: Cayenne-Cycl

Size: Small

Denier: Around 20-30

Materials: 92% polyamide, 8% elastane

Price & Website: Unknown

My Outfit

What better way to create a look – pair navy. I went with my navy mini dress paired with my studded court shoes to finish the look. I thought it worked quite well if I say so myself 🙂

My Deets

Dress: Tezenis

Tights: Fogal

Heels: Caitlin Pan

    The Review

The Packaging: like the rest of them, these come with a plain front and the back has most of the details. When you get in, you will find them flat folded and wrapped around card. These do have foot and leg shaping to them, which will help to get these on 🙂

I will say these look quite bright in terms of the mustard base colour. Let’s see what they are like on the legs.

  Getting Them On: I did my scrunch and roll on the legs, taking care going over my anklets. I did notice that these become sheer on the legs, and not looking as thick as they did in the packaging.

  On The Legs: well this design is pretty cool right? I normally don’t like the mustard colour (never really liked it to be honest – I prefer my bright and bold yellows) however I did not mind this pair as it had a lovely run of colours going through them. As I mentioned previously, the colour did become sheerer when I got them on the legs. From far, the design does look a little odd; like woodwork but in colour, but close up it looks really nice. I’m glad I paired up navy as it worked well, and to be fair so would pinks to bring out the colour in the tights.

The quality of these are once again great and have not failed me; one of the reasons I like Fogal. They had a nice amount of stretch in them to ensure that my legs had good coverage and wasn’t ombre-ing on the legs. These are also quite hard to snag, as the design is – in a sense – printed onto the tights rather than sewn in.

The fit of these are true to size, and fit my legs well. I had enough stretch to hug the legs without it feeling too tight. The feel of them are still smooth and soft, even thought it may not look it. They don’t irritate the skin in any way and they are super soft inside too.

  The Toes & Ankle: so these do have reinforced toes to them, which you can make out better when you see it under my toes. At the top of my toes, the design starts near to the toe seams, although I was still careful with my nails in these. The toes had plenty of wiggle room and there was no pressure on the toes.

Around the feet and ankles, these have a smooth fitted finish.

  The Waistband & Gusset: another great band on another awesome pair of tights! They have the brand name going around the band, and there is a nice amount of elasticity in this band for it to hug my waist without it squeezing me.

They also have reinforcement under the band before it works into the design.

The gusset is a palm-sized piece in the middle of the tights, which sits nicely against the skin.

  My Thoughts?

I gotta say these were pretty funky and something I haven’t done something like this before. I love the quality of this pair and how they fit too. I would recommend if you can get a pair.

Fogal ‘Pioggia Colorata’ 551 Tights Another unique pair hits the blog today, and I know it will be an acquired taste for some.

[thebestplltheories]

PLL The Perfectionists - Season 1 Finale (and Season 1) Review

Here we go friends, season 1 of the spinoff is over and I have a lot to say. In this post I’m gonna review the finale but also season 1 in general.

Dare I say it, I think season 1 as a whole was flawless. Sure, some episodes were better than others, but no episode was down-right horrible, boring and without a purpose. All 10 episodes were great as the plot was constantly progressing. We started off with totally innocent characters, doing their best to be perfect in a high-pressure and competitive school. A person who loosely connects them is murdered and as the investigation unravels, the innocent people get pulled together by forces outside of their control. Consequently, they become best friends. Caitlin’s mother put it really well in episode 9: Caitlin got hit by a car, was dating someone who got murdered, is friends with a fugitive’s daughter and is hiding a bag of money. How did all this non-sense happen to someone who was so innocent and perfect 9 episodes ago? That’s what I love. That’s what’s entertaining for me. As Claire said, they’re trying to dig themselves out of a hole but they keep falling and the hole is getting deeper and darker. This whole plot about being almost strangers and then best friends is a plot that could have very easily been squished into the pilot, and at the time, that’s what I wanted. But now looking back, I really appreciate that they stretched this across 10 episodes. It feels organic that this friendship didn’t just happen the day after Nolan died. It happened after 10 episodes of chaos and that’s not forced. It’s realistic. So overall season 1 achieved everything a season 1 should achieve: it brought the characters together slowly over time and reinforced that bad things are going to happen to these previously perfect people.

Casting is spectacular. I’m absolutely sucked into the worlds of Caitlin, Dylan and Ava and whilst the addictive story is definitely contributing to these feelings, I need to give a shoutout to Sydney, Eli and Sofia. They’ve achieved the one thing PLL did that no other show has done for me since PLL ended: they created extremely loveable and addictive characters. Sure, I watch heaps of other shows, but there’s just something about the core cast on a PLL show that is different. 

Some quick reactions from the finale:

This whole time we were wondering what they will call this new enemy, yet it was right in front of us this whole time in the episode title! Not only was “The Professor” right in front of us, but the title literally says ‘enter’. You know... say hello to the new A. That’s essentially what the title of the episode says. Now I feel dumb for not guessing that. More thoughts on The Professor later.

"Jealous much?” was a shocker! I love Mona’s confidence. Even when Claire says “that’s not how this works”, she insists, and gets what she wants.

I’m so glad Mona is here in this show. I love the new characters and I would be watching even without Ali and Mona, but Mona just fits in so well. Like PLL, this seems to be another game, and Mona is falling back into old habits. She not only wants to win, but she wants to know who is smart enough to create such a game, and why and how such a game is created. “Dying before I find out who you are bitch!” Loved that!

Mona’s red coat... her dolls in her apartment... I appreciate that!

Blowing up the RV was unnecessary. I think they did that just to put an action shot in the promo, to attract viewers. That’s not a complaint, just an observation. 

PLL always succeeds at making the town feel like its own character. Rosewood was a town that kept attracting misery and murder, like a person. And now we have Beacon Heights; a town that demands perfection so much that you get kicked out when you fail to be perfect. 

I think the storyline with Dylan and Luke was not necessary for this finale. It’s a fantastic story that should be told, just not in a finale. I wouldn’t say it’s a filler story, but it’s definitely not central to this professor story.

As someone studying psychology, and is in their final undergraduate year, I don’t think it’ll help as much as Alison thinks it will (in terms of working out who the Professor is). She can study psychology all she wants but that doesn’t really give insight into a person’s twisted game. Anyway.

I kinda ship Mona and Mason! You could see it on Mona’s face that it was hard for her to lie to Mason like that. I guess she’s extra motivated to solve this game now so that she can go back to Mason.

Add “your lips are moving but I have no idea what you’re talking about” to Ava’s list of iconic one-liners! Everyone loves insulting Booker and I live for it. Mona’s “yes you need a makeover” comes to mind too!

I hope Booker doesn’t go away. She lost this mini game but she’s a great villain.

I hope that’s the end of the story of Ava’s father. I’m just not compelled by this one story, sorry. All I really care about is that Ava stays at BHU (because she has the money to pay). I don’t really care about her relationship with her father. Maybe this is due to the casting of the father? I don’t know, but I’m not drawn into this story like the others and I can’t pinpoint why. 

What a full circle moment, playing Poker Face in the final scene like they opened with Poker Face in the pilot! It’s a small detail but it just makes the show feel cohesive. Like a distinct beginning and end. Can’t explain it.

So season 1 is over and they STILL have not tapped into that amazing storyline they started in the pilot... “it’s exactly like you imagined it”. Surely the Professor will bring this up during the social experiment.

Beacon Guard is going to start to get annoying. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE this element that someone is always watching and listening, and that someone hijacked this system. But if they really need to find a safe spot every time they want to talk... surely the season 2 finale will be them destroying Beacon Guard!

The Professor! Wow. I’m... shook. 

With A, we were never really sure if it’s just a sick twisted game that someone is having fun with, or, if A actually chose these Liars because of a personal vendetta. But with The Professor, it is clear from day 1 that this is a game. It’s a social experiment. I fucking LOVE that idea. 

Again playing with that theme I touched on before: I love how previously innocent people are getting sucked into madness. 10 episodes ago, everyone was leading a seemingly perfect life and now they’re part of a social experiment that they’re forced participate in because they were recorded staging a crime scene and being involved in a shooting. That’s so twisted and it just really sucks to be them.

I lowkey want to cry for Ali and Mona. They went to hell and back in Rosewood and now here goes another potential 4 year mystery. Will they EVER live in peace? I mean, for the sake of this show, I hope the Professor makes this game as twisted as possible. It’s entertaining. But at the back of my mind I am crying for Ali and Mona. 

When all their phones rang/vibrated at the same time, I felt at home?? At that exact moment I had a rush of nostalgia. It’s close enough to the original series to provide that nostalgia that we all want, but it’s distinct enough to be its own show. I love this Professor storyline because I think they’ve found that perfect middle-ground.

I hope they don’t give the Professor a black hoodie, but if they really want to make this as iconic as A, they absolutely need to give this villain an outfit. 

Is the Professor a short/mini story arc? Or is this the series-defining story, like how A defined PLL? Will there be a Big Professor and Uber Professor (lack of better terms)? I’d love for this to be the series-defining story and enemy. I’m all for this social experiment. 

Did anyone notice the Professor speaking in the third person? Is that the writers hinting that there is more than one person here; the Professor AND a helper? Kinda like an A-team? Or was speaking in the third person just the way of emphasising the new name for the enemy?

So many questions about the Professor!

Tonally, this finale felt like a premiere. It raised questions rather than answered questions. It told us that there IS an enemy, rather than tell us WHO the enemy is. That’s an odd structure, but I’m totally okay with it for 2 reasons. Firstly, because I’m simply just not hungry for answers. The mystery is still new and fresh. We didn’t get our first major answer on PLL (who is original A) for 2 years. I’m not expecting an answer as to who killed Nolan within 10 episodes. Secondly, it’s fitting because the entire first season was spent establishing that friendship. That needed to happen before such an enemy was introduced. It would be awkward watching strangers get sucked into this social experiment together. Now that they’re friends and they trust each other, it’ll be more entertaining to see them respond to the Professor.

There’s so much to theorise about now! But I need to say it again: this show is suffering from a major lack of a quantity of characters. Every scene revolves around Mona, Ali, Ava, Caitlin, Dylan, Taylor, Booker and Claire. That’s literally all there is. There’s the occasional side character like Mason and Zac, but no one is really key to the mystery like Noel, Jenna, etc were in season 1 of PLL from the get-go. I like that we met Luke, and I think season 2 really needs to prioritise ASAP increasing the quantity of characters. The lack of characters makes me think that we have not met the Professor yet. It’s obviously not Mona, Ali, Ava, Caitlin or Dylan. Maybe Taylor, she was missing. That’s a theory topic. Maybe Claire. Not Zac. Maybe Mason. And my list of suspects ends there? Again, season 2 needs to increase the quantity of characters.

Now I’m just gonna sound like a broken record, but in the extremely low chances that someone at Freeform catches this post (hey, the cast reacted to Tumblr posts the other month so we know they do snoop here)... I need to say it again: it’s no secret that the ratings are low, so you’ve got a lot of work to do for season 2 to get this show the recognition it deserves. Please consider reading this post. Do not give up on this show. It has really high potential. It just needs a few tweaks in terms of promo and supply system. The low ratings do NOT correlate to low quality. 

Look at me, writing massive posts like this! I haven’t done this for a TV show since PLL ended. Only this show will get me intrigued enough to come online and talk. There’s something about the PLL universe that distinguishes it from other shows, in the best way possible!

[jbuffyangel]

Unconditional Love: Arrow 7x09 Review (Elseworlds Part 2)

The crossover was only five minutes long. Wow! It went by so fast.

Source: whoeveryoulovethemost

(Fair warning: if you are a Fl*sh fan I wouldn’t read this.)

Let’s dig in…

Olicity

I watched a lot of insufferable bullshit to get two scenes, but they are really good scenes. I love y’all and this couple a lot. Suffering builds character as they say, so maybe I’ll ascend to heaven body and soul because I put up with The Fl*sh for an hour. I’m also being a little overly dramatic, but that’s just details.

We didn’t start out great though. Oliver, B*rry and K*ra show up in Star City and rather than tell Felicity directly what is going on, Oliver chooses to keep her out of the loop. He feels they have enough problems as it is and he doesn’t want to pile on. 

Sure, absolutely. Totally right call, Oliver. More lies are exactly what are required to fix your marriage. Since Felicity is angry about lying you should lie even more, so she trusts you again. Your logic is spectacular. I couldn’t be prouder.

I honestly had a very low bar as I sat down to watch the Arrow hour of the crossover. I just didn’t want to throw things at the television like I had the night before. I did not achieve my goal. The bar was much too high.

I don’t know why Arrow thinks they need to add drama on top of drama. The writers do this all the time particularly with Olicity. It’s not enough Oliver didn’t discuss going to prison with Felicity before he made a deal with the FBI. Nope! He has to make the same mistake again, so the characters are triggered to discuss it in the current episode. 

Lying about prison is plenty to work through. Oliver doesn’t need to lie again, so they can talk about lying. One asinine, disrespectful, they’ve-already-dealt-with-this-issue-in-previous-seasons problem at a time please.

Then, Cisco and Caitlin try to pass it off like Ir*s knew immediately B*rry wasn’t B*rry and, once again, this proves they are true soul mates. Felicity immediately feels terrible about herself and her relationship with Oliver because she didn’t realize her husband wasn’t her husband. Maybe their disconnection is even more serious than she realized.

IR*S DID NOT KNOW IMMEDIATELY. She spent the better part of an hour figuring it out. When she wasn’t pawing Oliver like a cat, she was throwing B*rry and Oliver in prison because she thought they were crazy. Oh by the way, one of them was her husband, so she knowingly threw her spouse in meta human jail. She very slowly and reluctantly began to believe them 20 minutes into the episode. Yeah, that’s right. I clocked it.

When B*rry (Gr*nt G*stin) tells her, “No matter what mask I am wearing I will always show you my true face,” and tries to hold her hand she does not grab back (as far as I could tell).

That was a hell of a line. Perfect time for some kissing, but Ir*s is more concerned about B*rry becoming Oliver. She couldn’t bring herself to return any affection from the man she believed was Oliver Queen. Sorry kids, this is not how I define “belief.” But you know soul mates.

Felicity does not spend anywhere near the same amount of time with B*rry and Oliver as Ir*s did. 

Source:  hollandrooden 

They show up in Star City, nobody tells Felicity what is going on, she leaves to work out the lightning problem with Curtis, and the trio heads off to Gotham City. 

Source:  hollandrooden

Felicity spent 30 seconds with Oliver and B*rry compared to Ir*s’ 20 minutes. Yes, I clocked it again. Maybe if Felicity was given the same amount of time then she would have figured it out too.

Nobody tells Caitlin and Cisco Felicity doesn’t know, so they accidentally tell her about the body swap. Of course, it’s totally insane Caitlin and Cisco assumed Felicity’s husband told her the friggin truth right? *bleeped for barrage of expletives*

Source:  hollandrooden

Felicity: It’s not every day that you find out your ex is your husband and vice versus.

Does B*rry count as an ex? I guess they had a mini date and she did wear that dress. 

Also there was kissing. Yeah, okay ex it is.

Caitlin tells Felicity she shouldn’t read too much into Ir*s immediately knowing B*rry wasn’t B*rry. (I agree, particularly since she didn’t know immediately.) Caitlin says Ir*s just has more experience with B*rry screwing things up. Okay, she didn’t really say it that way, but she should have. What Caitlin says is Ir*s has more experience with alternate realities.  She also shares how Team Fl*sh locked B*rry and Oliver up in jail when they tried to explain what happened.

Felicity: I appreciate you saying that but it’s just another excuse in a long list of excuses for Oliver’s behavior.

Felicity is tired and she should be. Oliver always has a reason for keeping her in the dark, but it doesn’t make it okay. Those reasons don’t excuse all the lying. What Felicity wants, what she has always wanted, is Oliver’s trust and respect.

Source:  oliverfelicitygifs

I really love this scene between Caitlin and Felicity because it captures the struggle of marriage so well. Your partner will hurt and disappoint you at some point. We marry imperfect people. A very large part of marriage is learning how to move past the anger and find forgiveness. 

There are aspects of my husband’s personality I don’t like, but I know will never change and vice versus. Unconditional love doesn’t require you agree with everything your partner does. It doesn’t mean you can’t be angry with your spouse. However, it does require loving your spouse in spite of the things you don’t like. Unconditional love requires acceptance.

Source:  unicornships

This is essentially what Caitlin is telling Felicity. Yes, they have pretty big problems right now, but the only way through it is love. You have to hold on to the love you have for your spouse and let it guide you through the times you don’t like them very much. It’s the only way bridge the anger and separation. This is how you find your way through a fraught relationship.

I am not as angry with Oliver over his lie about prison as I was about the William lie. I don’t believe Oliver’s intentions were to exclude Felicity from his life. I believe he was trying to protect her and, to some extent, himself. Oliver knew Felicity would convince him not to go to jail and at the time he didn’t see any other way. At the end of the day, his actions were heroic even though they hurt Felicity in the process.

However, Arrow has done an absolutely terrible job of explaining Oliver’s point of view. They’ve never allowed Oliver to verbalize his reasons or even offer an explanation for why he didn’t include Felicity in the decision. The viewers shouldn’t have to get their explanations via interviews with executive producers.

I know we’re all as tired as Felicity is with the lying. However, this isn’t just about Oliver lying. This is about what will never change in Oliver. He will always be the one to fall on the sword. His heroic actions will often be detrimental to his relationship with his wife because those actions require sacrifice. It requires Oliver to put other people and other things before his own happiness. His selflessness won’t always be what is best or healthiest for his marriage.

This is why it’s important they are hashing this out. Oliver hurt Felicity. He shouldn’t have excluded her from the decision, even if he was afraid she’d talk him out of it. Felicity needs to be part of these decisions, so it’s easier for her to deal with consequences. At least then she can feel like she has some control or say in her own life.

Source:  hollandrooden

While Oliver was away, Felicity had to become someone else. Oliver left Felicity to the wolves and she had to learn how to protect herself. She is exploring her concept of morality and justice. Something Oliver has done a million times. 

However, when Oliver returned home and saw firsthand how Felicity has changed, she wasn’t treated with the same respect, trust and unconditional love she’s shown Oliver all these years. Felicity encouraged Oliver to find another way, but she was never judgmental about it. Felicity believed in Oliver no matter what.

Felicity’s darkness still pales in comparison to Oliver’s. She may be exploring the moral grey, but it in no way compares to Oliver’s forays. Felicity was greeted with disbelief and, “This isn’t you,’ admonishments instead of understanding and love. 

As I said, I have no problem with Felicity owning a gun, but I didn’t agree with how she used the gun in “Unmasked.” Oliver may have cause to be concerned, but he wasn’t asking the right questions to help Felicity. He was focused on what she was doing rather than listening to what she had gone through. Felicity trusted Oliver even when he was dropping bodies on a weekly basis. His judgment felt like a lack of belief and trust, which he has never felt from her even in his darkest of moments.

After spending some time as B*rry All*n, Oliver realizes he may have overreacted a bit to the changes in his wife. 

His speech is monumentally important for several reasons. Oliver has acted like a supreme jackass for the better part of seven months. He lied, excluded Felicity from decisions in her own life, and then judged his wife for the decisions she made in his absence. Homeboy needed one hell of an apology. As I said in the Watchover podcast this is bases loaded, two outs, bottom of the ninth, and in the last game of the World Series. Oliver needed to man up and be the husband (and superhero) Felicity deserves.

As speeches go, this is a spectacular one. If you are a long time Arrow fan, then you know this another role shift for Oliver and Felicity. Typically, it is Felicity fixing problems with a grand speech. She’s the one who expounds on how long and how much she loves him. It doesn’t mean Oliver loves Felicity any less, but he is more quiet and simple in his declarations.

Source: oliverfelicitygifs 

Not this time. This is really the first time Oliver has tried to quantify his love for Felicity. Oliver finds the English language falls woefully short as he tries to explain how much he loves Felicity, . There isn’t truly a word for how much he feels for her.

Felicity is on edge when Oliver begins talking. He tells her everything will be okay and acknowledges people change. However, none of that eases her anxiety or anger. It’s only when Oliver reassures Felicity his love for her will never change that we see her relief. Oliver may be right about all the other stuff, but what hits home for Felicity is his unconditional love. We can see how worried she was that the person she is becoming is going to cost her Oliver. What Felicity really needed to hear was that could never happen.

It’s also one of the first times Oliver’s love declaration is focused on Felicity. I love his vows, both sets. 

However, when Oliver is telling Felicity how much he loves her in these moments he focuses on the impact she’s had on his life. It’s a lot about what Felicity’s love has done for him rather than what he feels only for her.

It’s not bad thing. It’s doesn’t make his vows any less powerful or amazing, because Felicity has had a life altering effect on Oliver. However, I don’t believe this was the kind of speech Oliver needed to make in this moment. He needed to focus only on Felicity and how he feels about her.

Source: oliverfelicitygifs

And Oliver does focus on Felicity. BIG TIME. His judgment is gone and in its place are respect, love and understanding. Change is not a bad thing. Oliver understands as life goes on both Felicity and he will become different people, but no matter who Felicity becomes Oliver will always love her. He marries every version of Felicity Smoak, now and forever.

Of course, we knew Felicity is the love of Oliver Queen’s life. Hearing him say the words is another thing entirely though. Oliver quantifies his love for Felicity just as she has done for him. 

Felicity made it clear she fell in love with Oliver the moment he walked into her office. I suspected as much, so I never tire of hearing Felicity say this.

I also believe it took Oliver longer. He didn’t know what to make of Felicity Smoak at first. 

She sparked something foreign, yet familiar inside of him. Oliver came alive again when he met Felicity, but he didn’t know what it meant until later. Oliver fell in love slowly and then all at once.

“Love of my life” puts a stamp on his relationship with Felicity in a way Oliver has never done before. There never was or ever could be another woman in Oliver’s life who he loves more than Felicity Smoak. 

The petty side of me is also gleeful because when LL used this same terminology Oliver greeted it with silence. 

There is a vast difference between love and in love. LL stands at one of the spectrum and Felicity Smoak the other. 

Source:  felicitysmoakdaily

There is only one worth living for though and this is what Oliver is declaring. Felicity will always be Oliver’s life no matter who Felicity becomes. He will always choose her.

Trust is Felicity’s love language. Apologies don’t mean as much as Oliver’s belief and trust. So, Oliver saying he loves every version of her, and will be with her no matter what, is exactly what Felicity needs to hear. Oliver is giving Felicity the same love, trust and belief she’s always given him. This is the kind of husband and superhero she deserves. 

If Felicity is going to continue to examine her morality, and I think she should, then Oliver needs to give her unconditional love so A) she has the freedom to explore a darker side and B) so he can pull her back if she crosses too many lines.

Source:  felicitysmoakdaily

Oliver and B*rry have not switched back yet. Felicity believes she’s married to Gr*nt G*stin and the man standing before her, Stephen Amell, is not Oliver Queen but B*rry All*n. However, as Oliver speaks and Felicity listens to his words and hears the emotion in his voice, she knows it is him. Felicity knows this is her Oliver.

Source: oliverxfelicity

She whispers a sweet and soft, “Hi,” in recognition of who he truly is and then Felicity kisses him. I love how soft hellos are Oliver and Felicity’s way of reconnecting and reassuring. What was there in the beginning is still here today. What is most important remains unchanged.

It doesn’t matter to Felicity what body Oliver is in (although this was a serious upgrade, let’s be real). She recognizes her husband anywhere. 

What I love even more is Felicity initiates the kiss. There is no reluctance or hesitation. Felicity embraces her husband and accepts everything about him, as he has with her. 

They are both becoming different people (Oliver quite literally at this moment), but the love that binds them remains intact and will for the rest of their lives.

HERE ENDETH THE CROSSOVER! 

Yeah, I’m not kidding. We could stop right here. I care about nothing else. Here’s another kissing gif. *munches on popcorn*

Source: oliverfelicitygifs

Flash Mitch Leary shows up and interrupts Oliver and Felicity’s much needed make out session though. Probably would have led to sex. 

Way to go Flash Mitch Leary!

Because I do. Screw you Flash Mitch Leary. 

Did you notice Felicity clung to Oliver even though he’s technically still in the wrong body? All we do is win fandom!

Source: oliverfelicitygifs

Mr. Let’s Lay off the Public Displays of Affection doesn’t seem to mind at all. Oliver has no problem with PDA. It just depends who he’s PDA-ing with.

There are a few smaller moments in the crossover which shows us the miracle Felicity Smoak has been for Oliver Queen’s life. Oliver and B*rry are comparing notes on all the ways they’ve over simplified each other’s lives. B*rry has underestimated all the pain Oliver has survived. Oliver believes B*rry’s life is easy.

Oliver: B*rry I always thought you had it easy. Sunshine and rainbows… everybody likes you.

Stephen’s reading of “everybody likes you” is spot on perfect. Oliver is a little envious of the way everyone just accepts B*rry. Through the entire crossover Oliver has been the odd man out. He even remarks, “I guess I’m running alone,” when Kara zips off with B*rry to Gotham. Everyone has been taking pot shots at Oliver and stripping him down to his most basic and unpopular attributes. He’s a dark and hopeless man who fuels his anger via a mask and calls it heroism.

This is not the Oliver we know or Felicity knows. She is one of the few people who took the time to look beyond the surface to see the deeply good man underneath. 

Felicity has always believed in Oliver’s light. She’s always seen the hero Oliver truly is and his ability to inspire hope. Her belief is what made Oliver believe. He became that man because Felicity Smoak loves him.

This is why the unconditional love they share with each other is so important. Even among “friends” Oliver is treated with condemnation and judgment. Felicity is a rare gift and Oliver knows it. So, he chooses to give her the same unconditional love she’s given him. Oliver experiences the loneliness of judgment and never wants Felicity to feel alone with him. This is how you bridge the gap and build a marriage which will last until “death do us part.”

Source: oliverfelicitygifs

The Trashing of Oliver Queen

The theme for this year’s crossover is “Trash Oliver Queen.” It was two hours of nonstop dragging. 

Source: stephen-amell

The only reprieve we are given is during the Arrow hour of the crossover. At least those writers somewhat understand his character. Let’s run down the comments shall we?

"Oliver's life is completely defined by anger and vengeance."

"Please don't become Oliver Queen."

“Deck him B*rry! What? He’s a jerk.”

“Oliver Queen, the man who channels his hubris and anger and calls it strength.”

“One time Oliver cheated on his girlfriend with her sister.”

There’s probably more, but that’s plenty. 

Ir*s spends the majority of The Fl*sh episode terrified she’s married to Oliver Queen or B*rry will become Oliver Queen. Since it is the female protagonist making all these statements about Oliver Queen, it is simply accepted as truth.

What’s worse is Oliver doesn’t act like our Oliver.  Ir*s says Oliver is defined by anger, so he has over the top temper tantrums. I’m not saying B*rry wasn’t insulted too. However, when Oliver gets his digs in at B*rry he’s yelling. B*rry refuses to engage and walks away. This reinforces everything Ir*s has said about Oliver. It feels like the writers are saying, “See? We’re right! He’s just a horrible, dark, muscle bound hulk of angry. Isn’t B*rry so much better?” It’s disgusting. This is character assassination. Plain and simple.

It is so bad it became distracting. I couldn’t appreciate some of the genuinely funny moments because I was too busy fuming. 

I mean, B*rry is telling K*ra how slutty Oliver was back in the day. 

Source:  olivergifs

Alright, this was a tiny bit funny, but why are we rehashing the Sarah/Oliver/Laurel debacle? IT WAS TEN YEARS AGO. 

This is all an effort cast Oliver in a terrible light, while K*ra and B*rry gloat over it because he’s Gandhi and she’s Mother Theresa. Here’s a hot tip: If you are trying to get Arrow fans to watch the other shows then don’t insult their favorite characters.

The Oliver being described in this year’s crossover hasn’t been around since Season 3. In fact, it feels like neither The Fl*sh nor S*pergirl writers watched an Arrow episode after 3x02. I am willing to acknowledge Oliver has some anger, but he has not been controlled by it or fueled by it for YEARS. I’m not talking a few episodes or a season. I’m talking actual years of character growth being ignored to write this bullshit. SEVEN YEARS to be exact.

Oliver is defined by the love he has for his wife, son, team and city. This is a man who is willing to sacrifice everything for the people and city he loves. If Oliver was merely fueled by anger and vengeance he would have been done or dead years ago.

In Defense of Oliver Queen

Oliver suffered unimaginable nightmares for five years. He was tortured. Every single person he ever loved either died for him or because of him. He could never fully trust anyone. He had to make life and death decisions every day. He had to forge himself into a weapon, strip himself of his humanity, to survive.

The process in which Oliver Queen became the Arrow and the process in which B*rry All*n became the Fl*sh are night and day. B*rry was struck by lightning. But Oliver? Oliver became the Arrow through sheer force of will. He worked for it, trained for it and bled for it.  His survival depended on it.

B*rry didn’t lose himself when he became The Fl*sh. Oliver had to stop being Oliver Queen. He had to stop trusting. He had to stop believing. He had to stop hoping. He had to stop caring. He had to stop loving. He had to stop being a person. It was the only way for him to survive.  Humanity was just another thing that could kill him.

And yet, despite everything Oliver suffered, he retained his goodness. He fought his way back from the depths of hell and held onto his humanity. He found a way to love and hope again. Oliver Queen is a miracle.

This incessant need The Fl*sh has to compare B*rry to Oliver is a foolhardy endeavor. There is no competition, but writers confident in their character don’t need to trash another one to feel superior. Maybe The Fl*sh has to insult Oliver Queen because deep down they believe their hero doesn’t measure up. It makes me wonder because I’ve never seen television writers treat the characters that launched their show so terribly – and yes I include Felicity and Diggle. Oliver is written as a violent monster, Felicity is a ditzy bimbo, and Diggle could care less B*rry erased his daughter. Every time I watch an Arrow character on The Fl*sh they are a stranger to me. 

I don’t know y’all. This all feels like a massive inferiority complex.

Arrow has clearly shown there is a light in Oliver Queen just as inspiring as B*rry All*n’s or Sup*rgirl’s.  Oliver has evolved far beyond the man who came home from Lian Yu. He isn’t Season 1 Oliver no matter how hard The Fl*sh and Sup*rgirl try to characterize him that way.

He has evolved far beyond dough. Oliver is a baked cookie Felicity gets to munch on and enjoy.

In fact, Oliver’s heroism is what inspired B*rry to become the friggin Fl*sh to begin with! 

Yeah, that’s right Fl*sh people. I am not letting you forget your fave is a spin off launched from ARROW. No matter how much you trash Oliver Queen it isn’t going to erase history. The DCTV universe became a success because Arrow is a success. This is like pretending Ironman had nothing to do with Marvel’s movie franchise. Give me a friggin break. RESPECT YOUR ELDERS.

We also have to deal with severe continuity issues. Ir*s tells Oliver (who she thinks is B*rry) about how angry Felicity is he cut a deal with the feds without discussing it with her. Oliver looks shocked to hear this. 

Source: oliverxfelicity

SHOCKED. 

Oliver knows Felicity is pissed about him going to prison. He’s known it for seven months. If Oliver forgot then it was explained to him again during the massive fight he had with Felicity about it last week. It is clear The Fl*sh writers have not watched a single episode of Arrow this year, which is just aggravating.

This is all evidence to Ir*s that Oliver is a horrible person and she is so grateful she married Rainbow Brite. There is absolutely no way she could be married to Oliver Queen. Listen, cutie why don’t you take your moral condemnation and shove it where the sun doesn’t shine?

I seem to recall Rainbow Brite, aka B*rry All*n, made the exact same decision a few seasons ago. Didn’t B*rry go into the speed force without discussing it with you? Sure he did. In fact, Mr. and Mrs. Gold Standard went to couple’s therapy over it.

If there’s a storyline on Arrow then chances are The Fl*sh has copied it. I would be careful with the examples of how awful Oliver Queen is because I can match you example for example with how awful B*rry All*n is. At least Oliver pays for his mistakes.

If these characters had said Oliver’s life is completely defined by anger and vengeance during the first crossover (and they did) I would have said this is an incomplete picture of him. However, I could understand why someone who just met Oliver would feel like it is true. But we’re in SEASON SEVEN of Arrow. These people have fought side by side together for four years.

Ir*s’ attitude towards Oliver doesn’t even make sense. She was at his friggin wedding while he was bursting with sunshine and moonbeams. Ir*s knows Oliver is a good man, so this is equally an assassination of her character as well. But what else is new on The Fl*sh?

Even B*rry’s reactions to Oliver’s interactions with Ir*s are insane. He tells Oliver not to touch Ir*s. When Oliver assures B*rry he hasn’t he responds with, “You thought about it.” 

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? NO HE HASN’T. All Oliver has wanted from the second he woke up was to go back to his own bed where his REAL wife is.

The one climbing Oliver like a tree is Ir*s. The fact Ir*s is attracted to him isn’t a surprise to Oliver. 

Source:  supercanaries

This is not a detail she’s kept quiet over the years, but is also not something Oliver has encouraged. 

He practically glued himself to Felicity anytime Ir*s came near him. 

Source:  supercanaries

Oliver is frozen with shock and horror she acted on it. This was not the face of a man who has “thought about it.” Take up your insecurities with your wife Bartholomew and leave Oliver out of it.

However, if we’re talking about who “thought about it” then I submit this as evidence.

Source:  amunetblack

Spot the difference? This is the face of a man who is clearly enjoying himself. If there’s anybody thinking about touching his friend’s wife then it’s B*rry. Not Oliver. I don’t think either of them “cheated” but what annoyed me is the only one we’re commenting on is Oliver. B*rry, you dated Oliver’s wife. You’ve had TWO non platonic kisses. You are lucky to be alive. So, let’s cool it with the accusations.

Frankly, this year’s crossover feels like a retreaded ground. This argument B*rry is light and Oliver is dark was one made in the first Arrow/Fl*sh crossover. Both men had to learn and appreciate the kind of hero the other was. All the lessons B*rry and Oliver are learning this year are ones they’ve already learned. Only this time B*rry and Oliver have to switch lives. This is what running out of ideas looks like.

I mean, come on y’all. They actually had a scene where B*rry is held hostage, but convinces Oliver not to kill Deegan because “there’s a better way.” 

Source: olivergifs

WE. DID. THIS. EXACT. SCENE. IN. SEASON. 2.

I cannot even with this nonsense. 

Oliver stopped killing in Season 6!!! But it’s because of B*rry Oliver decided to find another way.

 Unbelievable. 

Do I think Oliver is going back to “I’m full of darkness” during the regular Arrow season? No. I don’t. We’ll go back to our regularly scheduled programming. Oliver will be our Oliver, complete with all seven seasons of character growth, and acting like the man we know and love. What happened in the crossover is all ridiculousness to sell the crossover story, which is continuing into “Crisis on Infinite Earths” in the fall of 2019.

If you think I am overreacting to how The Fl*sh characterized Oliver’s character then I would simply ask you to flip it. How would you feel if Felicity was talking about B*rry the way Ir*s spoke about Oliver? How would you feel if all of B*rry’s mistakes were dragged? How would you feel if the other characters believed B*rry’s selfishness represents everything he is? How would you feel if Arrow ignored five years of B*rry’s character growth? How would you feel if the other characters responded to B*rry as anything other than the hero he is? How would you feel if this wasn’t the first time B*rry All*n was insulted guest starring on Arrow? Methinks you would have a problem with it.

I am a little disappointed in myself for being so surprised. This has been a problem on The Fl*sh for a very long time. This behavior never happens on Arrow, I might add. The Arrow writers do not insult and trash B*rry’s character, so Oliver can look morally superior. So, thank you “Elseworlds” for reminding me why I stopped watching The Fl*sh. The writers are incapable of being respectful towards the character that launched their show.

What Did Oliver Promise?

Oh Lord Oliver. Why do you have to be so damn heroic all the time? It is highly problematic.

Source:  olivergifs

I didn’t pay much attention to the plot, because the plot made no sense.

Source:  clevercloudpoetry

This was fine for hours one and two, but then crap actually started to matter during hour three.  

I couldn’t understand why people were freaking out online about what Oliver promised. If you’d like to hear my realization in real time then listen to the latest episode of Watchover.

Oliver: You said I’d past the test if I knew my true self. Well, my true self is filled with darkness, but B*rry and K*ra are different. They inspire hope. They inspire people because they are the best of us.

Did Oliver promise his life to the Monitor in exchange for those ungrateful twats, B*rry and K*ra? 

Source: @olivergifs​

You bet he did.

This is why they are trashing Oliver so much in this year’s crossover. Oliver will sacrifice his life and B*rry, K*ra & Co., will realize he was a true hero all along. 

I might have to start saying a rosary to get through this.

OR they could have simply treated Oliver like the hero he is and the plot in the crossover would have made sense. I’m just brainstorming here. Don’t want to get too crazy with the ideas.

Source:  someone-like-robsten

Yup. Oliver will be a hero because of B*rry kids.

Oliver is not so subtle alluding to exchanging his life for Barry’s, hence his “I’ll get there some day,” but the line irritates me because this whole crossover irritates me.

Arrow has been moving Oliver toward a more defined moral code. He’s becoming the light for Star City. However, everyone acting like there’s been no character growth in this man for the last 7 years simply to sell this “Oliver is going to die” storyline in the crossovers is pure madness.

This dovetails nicely into the flash forwards doesn’t it? Essentially “Elseworlds” confirms, or at least heavily hints, Oliver dies and everything goes to shit because of it in the future. Well played, Beth Schwartz.

Are they going to kill Oliver? Yes, but it won’t be permanent. I mean, just say it out loud with me and you’ll hear how ludicrous this sounds.

Oliver dies during the “Crisis of Infinite Earths” or sooner. Felicity raises their children on her own. Star City goes to hell in a hand basket in 20 years. Felicity becomes an evil super villain determined to destroy the city and then she’s murdered. 

HERE ENDETH THE SHOW.

No. Absolutely not. I reject all of this. This is what Arrow (and the crossovers) are telling us happened, but these are same people who said Oliver is all darkness. So pardon me if I find their word suspect.

I believe there’s a high likelihood Season 8 could be Arrow’s finale season. In the midst of all this trashing of Oliver Queen, there also seems to be a consistent “passing of the guard” mentality. B*rry and K*ra are the heroes the world needs and Oliver is a piece of crap that kills people with arrows. It’s all in an effort to disentangle the Arrowverse from Arrow and Oliver Queen. Then they re-center it around B*rry All*n.

If Season 8 is the final season then Arrow just spoiled how their show ends. Oliver dies. Everything goes to crap in the future, but then his band of legacy heroes save the city 20 years later. Is it possible? Sure, absolutely. A hero’s journey can end with death, but announcing it or heavily foreshadowing like this takes away the shock factor.

This is classic diversion and red herrings. The writers want the fans freaking out Oliver is going to die while they are doing something else entirely. This reminds me a bit of Season 4. Everyone was so busy worrying about Felicity dying, and the red herrings pointing to her death, that nobody was noticing how Arrow was setting up Laurel’s death at the same time.

Yes, they are setting up Oliver’s death. 

Source:  olivergifs

However, they also set up Oliver’s happy ending. 

He wants to hang up the hood and live in peace with his family. The point of the “Elseworlds” promise is for Oliver to sacrifice his happy ending so the world can have the true heroes like B*rry and K*ra fighting for it. However, Oliver sacrificing his happy ending proves he’s just as selfless a hero as they are. But balance I guess.

All the “Oliver is darkness” nonsense is so heavy handed too. When Arrow introduces plot lines like this so early on, basically telling us how it all ends, then I give it major side eye. If Season 8 is the finale season then they aren’t telling us how Arrow ends a year before the next crossover.

So what is “Crisis on Infinite Earths?” Here’s a link explaining it more in detail, but essentially an evil version of The Monitor begins destroying the multiverse. Let’s call him Satan Monitor. A bunch of superheroes die and there’s only one universe remaining at the end. Satan Monitor has a side kick named Psycho Pirate. This is the masked man talking to the professor in Arkham. “Crisis on Infinite Earths” is also when B*rry All*n disappears (which has been a major plot point on The Fl*sh) and Sup*rgirl dies in the comics. This is the sum total of my knowledge.

We are supposed to believe the Green Arrow sacrifices himself for the universe and this is the ending of Arrow. However, “Crisis on Infinite Earths” will air in the fall of 2019. This is the beginning of Arrow’s 8th Season. Not the end. The other crossovers have always aired in the winter. They are not killing Oliver Queen in the beginning of Season 8. Nope. Not happening.

The fact they are threatening to kill Oliver so early is good for us. We always want the premiere and mid season to be a shit show, so we can get a happier ending in the finale. Consider the last time Oliver “died.” 

Things worked out okay for him in the end. 

And yeah, that’s also my hang up. They’ve already written the perfect death scene for Oliver Queen. It aired four years ago. Been there. Done that.

The Monitor: Are you truly that eager to die? No, not eager, but willing. Ready to.

Oliver willing to sacrifice himself is not a shock. This is not a man who fears death. When Oliver returned to Starling City, he did not expect to survive. He thought he would come back, save the city, but die in the process as some kind of atonement for his sins. 

As the season progresses, Oliver’s humanity begins to return and he becomes more and more attached to those he loves. This creates a struggle for him because he does not expect to live. This is why he told Tommy as he died,

So, it’s tough for me to see death as the ending for Oliver Queen. Yes, it’s possible. I won’t deny that, but I feel it is the more unlikely scenario. Particularly since the writers are heavily hinting at Oliver’s death and want us to be worried about it.

David told a fan at HVFF San Jose the flash forwards are one of the possible futures and we’d understand more in the crossover. 

@callistawolf and I were so confused because this is directly opposite of what Beth had said in interviews. TV Guide said Beth, “…confirmed that this is a fixed future, so we don't need to worry about B*rry All*n (Gr*nt G*stin) turning up and resetting the timeline or anything.” 

However, went I looked back at her Collider interview that’s not exactly what she said. She merely confirmed this future is not connected to Legends and the characters don’t know what happens in the future.

Is this a fixed future that we’re seeing, or is there the possibility that they can change things?

SCHWARTZ: This is not connected to Legends. This is our own future. They don’t know what happens in the future. Legends is like that and The Flash is like that, but on Arrow, they don’t know. This is very much for the audience. They don’t know what’s happening to them, in the future. It’s better that they don’t know.

She dodged answering the “fixed future” portion of the question. I have yet to find an interview where Beth comments on permanency. Sorry, David. We were wrong to doubt you.

We’re thinking whatever happens to Oliver is fixed during next year’s crossover. Maybe Oliver dies in the Season 7 finale as a fulfillment of his promise. Whatever happens during “Crisis on Infinite Earths” could trigger a change in the flash forwards. Right now, they can kill Oliver and explore what Star City is like without the Green Arrow in the flash forwards. If Star City has gone to hell then obviously this proves the Green Arrow is needed in the world, because he is also a true and inspiring hero. Oliver ultimately survives “Crises on Infinite Earths” and is able to save his city in present day. Then we are given a totally different future.

How are they going to fix it? I have no idea. Superman was ushered off to his happy ending with a pregnant Lois. So, maybe he comes back and exchanges his life for Oliver’s. Not sure. I’m just spit balling here. There’s lots of X factors I can’t answer, but this gives the Arrow writers the chance to write both an unhappy and happy ending. We don’t have all the details worked out. Maybe Oliver dies during “Crisis on Infinite Earths” and is brought back another way. It’s totally possible Oliver promised something other than his life too. 

However, they want us to believe Oliver Queen is going to die so I wouldn’t expect to see him in the flash forwards any time soon. But it makes no sense to kill Oliver Queen at the end of Season 7 or the beginning or middle of Season 8, when we know Arrow still has a whole season to film and Stephen Amell is under contract. 

The big question is does Oliver tell Felicity what he promised? I want to say yes, but I’m not holding my breath. Oliver’s heroic actions tend to run counter to his happy life with Felicity. Do I imagine there’s a world in which Felicity will be okay with Oliver sacrificing himself for B*rry and K*ra? NO. It’s the same issue we had with the prison arc. I absolutely think Oliver should tell Felicity, but I just don’t have confidence he will at this point. Hopefully, I am wrong.

Stray Thoughts

Stephen Amell and Gr*nt G*stin have amazing chemistry. They are the perfect straight and funny man team. There are genuinely hilarious moments throughout the entire crossover, but most of the funny occurred during The Fl*sh hour. Stephen Amell truly cracked me up. I wish I could have enjoyed it more.

I'm still comfortable with my hot dog meets sperm description for Stephen in The Fl*sh suit.

Are B*rry's abs photoshopped too? I have questions.

"There's no way I could be married to Oliver Queen. I mean babe come on. He's not my type." This gag will never get old for me. I love it. 

Oliver going all alpha male around Superman is the realest thing about this crossover.  Source:olivergifs

“I think a night in jail would do them some good.” HAHAHA Bl*ck S*ren left Oliver in jail for the night. Classic.

Oliver’s pettiness over Batman will never not be funny. Source:  dailydcheroes

Kate Kane is awesome. Something about her suit bugs me though. Can’t figure out what. Source:  veronica-lodge

Joe Wilson is a scarier villain in the two minutes he had on screen than Diaz has been in a season and a half.

I like how Felicity refused to dumb her genius down for Diggle. He is so in the dog house with her. Source:  felicitysmoakgifs

Who is going to tell Sup*rgirl she is gay or bi? Because she is. There was a lot of flirting coming from Batwoman and K*ra D*nvers didn’t seem to mind at all. Don’t even get me started on her chemistry with Lena Luthor. So yeah. Somebody tell her. Facts are facts. I’m with you SuperCorp! Source:  amunetblack

If we’re talking Oliver’s worst fear I’d pick Adrian Chase over Malcolm Merlyn, but whatever. Nice to see you again John Barrowman.

I love how they showed how good Oliver is with computers. Nice moment of continuity from the Arrow pilot. Source:  oliverfelicitygifs

Arrow filmed a whole new opening with Gr*nt G*stin, but was Stephen Amell afforded the same on The Fl*sh? NOPE. It was weird.

I think Sup*rgirl got the shaft story wise. She spends all her time refereeing B*rry and Oliver. I think we could find better uses for her character.

Jimmy Olson has facial hair and nothing makes sense anymore.

Is Dante alive in this reality? If not, maybe don't bring him up B*rry.

Is Superman getting his own show too? This is a lot about Superman. (Superman proposes to Lois and they move to Argo to raise their love child.) Nope. Superman is not getting his own show.

I think if you can make your own diamonds you could go at least 4 carats Clark.

Disclaimer: Any gifs on the blog are not mine. If you would like a gif removed from my reviews, please message me. 7x09 gifs credited.

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[bronx-bomber87]

Hello my wonderful fandom :) I CANNOT believe we are at the finale already. This season went by in the blink of an eye. I was VERY excited for this finale and what it would bring. They don't have a ton of moments. But the ones they do the writers made count. My goodness I was happy and hopeful after this episode ended. Hard to believe we won't see our babies on screen till 2025. *grumble*

D sent me something about that actually (thank you bestie) Here it be. A.H. saying he's pretty sure all networks are doing this mid season 18 ep start. One of the reasons being the Election coming up. They want to protect shows and their ratings from the debates, coverage etc. And those usually happen on Tuesday nights. Which is actually really intuitive foresight from ABC. So to protect our ratings and show I get it. Especially if we wanna lock down a S8. I don't love it but I get it. Anyways lets get to it shall we? My last "mini" thoughts of the season.

6x10 Escape Plan

Always makes me nervous for Lucy going UC but still amazing to watch her in her element. Even if it makes my stomach tie in knots. Now maybe this is just me but Lucy seemed EXTRA uneasy on this OP. This is pure speculation on my part. But could be lending a little more credence to this not being the path for her? Just the feeling I got while watching her in these moments with with the kids in this one and the sneaking around.

I will say I do love seeing Lucy with the kids. Gives us a glimpse into her as a mama. I'm liking what I am seeing. Can't help but have that thought. I really can't. Chenford has taken over my brain and I'm very ok with it. Smitty's text to Lucy did crack me up. 'Red incoming.' Gotta love Smitty. Lucy is giving me a damn heart attack being undercover though.

The panic in her soul is so evident the minute she sees Monica is approaching. The way she guides the kids out of the room. Then the sheer terror when the kids wanna take a shorter exit. She has to pivot and redirect them quickly. I feel like the pressure of this specific UC mission was getting to her. I really do. It was felt in all her movements and body language through out these scenes IMO. I could be wrong but it was just a gut feeling I got watching her.

I think her expression in this scene after Monica departs is everything. Melissa be crushing it out here. Almost like she has to take a deep breath. Calm her racing heart down before unrooting herself from that spot to investigate further. I feel like her look of unease and panic here brings home the point I've been making.

Her questioning if doing UC is worth this stress? Worth the constant worry? Like I said back in my 5x20 review. Just because you're good at something doesn't mean it's meant to be your destiny. i.e. Lucy being a permanent U.C. Pretty sure her cover is blown after she runs right into him but she got the info she needed. At the expense of my own anxiety and worry though ha

The look in this scene oh my lord. How can they have so much chemistry with just one look? Melissa and Eric are a damn treasure to this fandom. To this amazing ship. Tim saying 'It's good to have you.' That loaded look between them. *screams into a pillow.*

You know that man is happier now that she's folded into this OP. His eyes were on her from the moment she stepped on scene. Be more in love with her Tim please. Then sharing a look with Angela. I’m dying. Angela is us we are Angela. She is the fandom in this moment watching this exchange. *sigh* So good.

Someone please tell me how do they look so amazing just standing next to one another? It's unreal how they can exude SO much chemistry just standing next to one another. Forever floored by the amount of physical chemistry these two have without even touching. It blows my mind in the best way.

Also I always enjoy me some Tim in T.O. mode it's sexy af. It revs my engine to watch him back in leadership mode. Not gonna lie. So very confident and sure of himself. Gah makes me need to cross my legs watching him in action LOL Sorry (sorta)Feral Caitlin made a return there haha But I do love seeing it. Like he’s getting his mojo back professionally. It’s nice to see. Does my heart good to watch it.

Oh my word they haven’t really been alone to talk (not counting the hug last ep) since 6x06. I’m so happy. I was legit buzzing watching this. My heart Tim telling her he took her advice and went to therapy. Yessss been waiting for this to unfold. Was hoping when they got a moment alone he would tell her about it. Look at him taking the first opportunity they have solo to tell her this. The growth of this man is incredible to see. I'm so proud of him it's insane. He takes a beat and makes the best of their time together. Breaking the uncomfortable ice with it. *happy sigh*.

I'm so proud of him. I can't state this enough. It is NOT easy to have this convo let alone be the one to start it. Another way to see he's grown. Tim is tackling the conversation. Being the one to broach it. Not Lucy dragging it out of him. I love her telling him that's not normal what happened for him. Definitely hasn't been my experience haha I do love her following up her little joke with being serious. Wanting to encourage him to keep going. I love this. Doesn’t want him to think one bad experience will tar the entire profession.

Tim nodding with a smile asking her if she wants to know the irony of it all? Lucy of course does. Tim continues on that she was a good therapist. The sessions they helped him. Damnit Blair.... I do adore the way Lucy is looking at him while he speaks about this. That angry look she started with has softened quite a bit. Truly hope he continues in S7 and we get to hear about it. God I would love to see sessions. Some of my all time fav Beckett scenes in Castle's S4 was getting to see her sessions with her therapist. It's on my wish list. *fingers crossed.*

His continued sharing with Lucy makes my heart so happy it might implode. Letting Lucy know therapy despite Blair being dirty has been good for him. She unearthed things he wasn't even aware of. I felt the same way too after a couple weeks. I felt more regulated tbh. I had massive sleeping problems from age 15 to when I decided to go to therapy in my 30's. After a couple sessions my sleeping issue's were gone for most part. I had been carrying my problems for so long. Like a pressure cooker with no release valve. So with no outlet they followed me into my unconscious and manifested into anxiety attacks. Couple weeks of sessions and my sleep issues all but disappeared.

Therapy when you truly lean into it can do wonderful things. i.e. Tim opening up to Lucy like this. Also look how SOFT Lucy looks with him as he bares his soul to her. I would be remiss if I didn't go in depth on this. The look of pride and love splayed all over her face is everything. Also reverence and love as well. This episode has a lot of loaded looks and I ate them all up. We started this scene with her face hard and holding a lot anger still. Then Tim melts it with his genuine vulnerability and sharing of what going to get help has done for him. Not only that but giving her props for the original advice in the first place. I'm beaming with delight.

We move onto Tim is being anxious his sessions are going be heard for evidence cause of the FBI investigation. Ugh. This kicks Lucy's brain into gear about that. Asking if he said anything revealing about her? His reply had me rolling. I adore him making a joke like this. Letting her know he mentioned ‘Freak in the sheets.' about her. I’m dying. I have no doubt there is some truth to that for them both LOL Look at our boy making jokes and getting her to laugh. God it was so so nice to see her laugh again. He earns a smile out of her too. The first time he's been the cause of that since her gifted her that KIA Radio in 6x05. I'm floating. They're both smiling by end of this scene. *sigh* We needed this.

We got to see some BAMF Lucy in this moment. Something that just like Tim in confident T.O. Mode has been missing since 6x06. I love her being like take this guy my man is in trouble. Getting him dropped off and instantly taking off after Tim. Who is also trying to pull off some bad assery tbh. A little recklessly but that's why Lucy is coming after him.

She see's his play and wants to be there to back it. Literally waste's no time in pursuit of him. Peels right out of that damn laundromat after him. Tim's play going south VERY quickly when this guy catches on to him in the bed of the truck. Sends his gun flying and my heart racing.

Adore the worried wifey look as she watches from the car. It's pouring out of her in that brief shot. Well done Melissa. Just like Eric she knows how to convey so very much with just a look. Lucy knows Tim is in trouble. That she can't just sit there in pursuit of the vehicle without helping him.

Especially after she watches him get pulled into the cab. Knowing that he is currently at a tactical disadvantage. No way in hell she is leaving him to fight this guy off alone. Telling Lopez to take the wheel as she makes her way out to help him.

Lopez's face when she makes the jump is shocked and amazed. Lucy continuing her BAMF streak on this OP. I loved the surprised look on Tim's face when she first jumps on the truck. Like he can't believe she just risked her life to come help him out. He can't stay in the feeling long as she takes the guy out for them. But it needed to be noted his utter surprise she was there to have his back. Risked her life to do so. Such a bad ass battle couple. Back to back finales we get to watch them be poetry in motion in the field with a battle.

Oh my lord what an epic scene to watch. Lucy jumping onto that moving truck bed to save her man. They take him down together. Their work dynamic easily coming back into play here. They don't miss a beat in this moment. Working as harmoniously as they always have in the past together in the field. I love the looks shared once they've stopped the truck.

Especially Tim's. He is so damn impressed with her. Always finds a way to blow him away with the bad ass she's become. Man is falling in love all over again. It shows all over the two looks he gives her in this scene. First one is his falling back in love again. I mean he already was but think sunk him deeper. Second one is more of just being in awe of her. The pride he feels watching the amazing cop she's developed into. I love these two so much.

Let me start with how happy it makes my heart that Tim smiles when she walks up to him. Despite all the hurt just the sight of her elicits a smile out of him automatically. His walking sunshine. Love of his damn life. She truly is his happy place in human form. Lucy making a crack about him taking a half day. Their banter still simmering beneath the surface. It's a little subdued in this moment but it's alive and well with Tim's reply. He is ever the gentlemen letting her go first.

His elevator version of holding the door for her. That chivalry never dying with him. It's the little things. Can't ignore how Lucy is looking at this man the entire scene. From start to finish. With such reverence and love. Still so in love with this man standing in front of her. Lucy can't help it. She is a moth to a flame with him. Especially with Tim thanking her for saving his life. Let's delve into that a little shall we? Tim Bradford is saying he didn't have it. Admitting fault he would've lost that battle without her.

Saying not only did he not have it but Lucy did. That he wouldn't be standing here without her. Giving her the kudos and all the praise for saving his life. Far cry from 1x01 and his future reaction to that moment in S5. This is a different Tim we see standing before us everyone. The amount of growth in this moment is immense. Because not only did she save his life but she saved him in a deeper sense. Feels like it's truly hitting him like a freight train the impact she's had on his life. I think there is double meaning to his words above. It's what leads him into this next section below.

The loving expression on Lucy's face when she replies ' You're Welcome.' That look of I'm still in love with you, I would do anything for you despite the hurt, and her realizing the deeper meaning of Tim thanking her. The growth she is currently seeing in him is prompting this soft/warm look and even softer reply. It's what encourages Tim to say his next portion. You can see him psyching himself up before he turns around to apologize. To own what he's done to them. To her.

Tim starts his apology by telling her he knows what he’s done (thank you lord for this) That he knows he ruined everything. You sure did babe...but you’re gonna earn it all back I know it. Lucy has the most loving and forgiving nature. The biggest heart. Also we can see there is still a tinge of anger to her expression at first above. So that journey will not be an easy one for Tim. Nor should it be. He has a lot to make up for. But my god will it be worth it in the end. I truly believe that. I'm going to be crying river's when we get there.

Look at how he has grown. Immediately spilling his guts emotionally to her twice in one episode. Not once but TWICE. Hell three times really. With saying she saved him and admitting fault to what he's done. I can't get over this. He had two really hard conversations with her in this episode. Swallowing that pride of his he's trying to hard to overcome. Doing this in order to communicate better with her. To show her he's putting in the time and the effort. To let her know he knows he messed up and is owning that. Something Tim wouldn't have done before. At least not easily. These are great strides for him. I couldn't be prouder of where they are ending the season for him. Imma need more therapy though in S7 you hear me writers?

Tim thanking Lucy for extending him the kindness she has shown him. *my damn heart.* That he can never explain how much he appreciates it. That she could've easily turned on him and he would've understood. But that's not Lucy. We all know that's not who she is. Or ever will be. It's that forgiving nature of her's that is one of the many reasons Tim is so damn gone for her. I think there is once again a double meaning to his words. To me Tim is saying this is for far more than just post break up. It's for their entire relationship. Together/apart and especially when they were not 1-4. The kindness and the empathy she's aways shown him. Even at his worst.

Like I said earlier it's all hitting him hard. The place she held in his life for so long and the impact she's had on him. Imma cry. A giant epiphany moment for Tim I think. Maybe starting to slowly understand the unconditional love she has for him. This scene made me tear up. That anger that is still present melts away a little more for Lucy. If she continues to see Tim work on himself. He shows her his continued growth. No reason she wouldn't take this man back when he's put in the work to re-earn that place in her life. Tim saying he's gonna spend rest of his life repaying her back for said kindness. *screams into the void.* In whatever small doses she allows of course.

Respecting her boundaries and hoping she will allow him to do so. It's the sweetest most sincere part of his apology. The way she looks at him as he departs. *heart clutch* You can see he's stunned her into silence. But also Lucy can see the growth in him and it’s written all over her face. This is a fantastic way to end the season for them. It wouldn’t be right to get back together right now or even just a 'we almost died' hook up. (Wonderful fic's out there for that just recently BTW.) Just wouldn’t. As much as my shipper soul LONGS for them to be back together. Legit longs so much it hurts. This was a good way to end them for the season. With some hope, some growth and a path forward leading us to S7.

Some Final thoughts below. With a Chenford hug to this lovely fandom of ours.

First off I want to thank you all for doing this not so mini review journey with me. I was nervous to do them. Even after doing 9 plus months of them with 1-5. This was different. It was first impressions. Hope you all enjoyed them. I'm more than happy to do this next season too. First impression thoughts for S7 as well if you are all interested. Let's move onto some final thoughts I'm having. You know months could pass by when we get to 7x01 in their timeline. I’m hoping he’s in therapy during this duration. Ready to prove he wants to earn her trust back. To earn her back. I don't think for one second that moment in the elevator is the last deep conversation they're going to have before we get a reconciliation. Tim has her love. Always has. Always will.

Lucy's decisions and responses in 6x10 show that. No matter what she loves this man. What he needs to gain back is her trust. To prove over and over again. He's there to stay. To show her through kind acts. To rebuild his rapport with her. I’m excited for that journey cause when we get there. *phew* God the fandom is gonna implode with happiness. It’ll be well earned. Their relationship is going to be even better with the growth Tim has done. (Hoping for some more for Lucy as well and getting the support she needs/deserves)We saw massive results in this episode alone. Can you imagine how it’ll be when they’re back together? *chefs kiss* it’ll make all the hurt and pain so worth it.

Getting emotional writing about this. This ship has a stranglehold on my emotions and I’m ok with it. Eric and Melissa love our passion for this couple. So I won’t be ashamed for the affect it has on me. I’m excited for s7. It’ll be a long hiatus. But we will get through it together. I will probably wait till mid July to do my thoughts fully fleshed out for S6. Think we all need time for finale to settle. For us too as well. I'm most definitely not ready to re-dive into everything just yet. Especially 6x05/6x06. But I'm hoping couple month hiatus for me will help with tackling that. Then we can start that journey for us all to go on with my deeper analysis.

As always thank you all for the likes, comments and reblogs. For being interested in my thoughts at all. It means the world you have no idea. Love this fandom, love this show and this incredible ship we are so fortunate to have. So once again thank you all for being on this journey of S6 with me. Like said earlier I’ll get started in my fleshed out S6 reviews come mid July. :)

~~~

Side notes-Non chenford

Monica cleaned up a mess for Blair. Manipulated her by helping her most Monica thing I've ever heard. Glad to finally have answers to that. I knew it felt like manipulation. She had too much of a conscience to be dead inside and doing it for money. Sucks cause she is very good at her job. That scene with Aaron was a mic drop moment for him. So proud of how far he came this season as well.

Friggin Nolan never listens. And get shot for not listening. In the ass. Because he's a pain in one. Was apropos. Also he's right back to being a dumb putz to me. It was short lived john you made it half an episode before falling out of my good graces LOL

Once again music amazing for their final scenes whoever handled that this season crushed it. Bringing out all my emotions.

See you all later this summer for my in-depth ones. Till then be kind and rally around each other. Gonna be a long hiatus.

[sueboohscorner]

#TheFlash Season 6 Episode 5 "Kiss Kiss Breach Breach" Episode Recap and Review

The episode starts out in black and white, with a Cisco voiceover. It’s black and white up until someone comes in to arrest him, which happens in color.

12 hours earlier, Barry and Iris are going on a mini vacation. Cisco made something for while they’re gone: B.A.R.I. It stands for Barry Allen Replicated Intelligence and it knows Barry better than Barry knows Barry. The first thing it tells Cisco to do is send Ralph and Killer Frost to stake out Ramsey’s lab.

Joe decides to follow Nash. They struggle, and one of Nash’s gadgets goes off and cause the tunnel to collapse in front of them.

Cisco can’t sleep and almost cuts his hair. Camilla tells him that he’s been sleepwalking. While Cisco processes this, Breacher shows up and sits on the bed. For a while he doesn’t say anything, but then he tells Cisco that Gypsy’s dead.

They reconvene in S.T.A.R. Labs. Gypsy was looking for a hacker named Echo when she died. The Collectors have a net that can prevent criminals from traveling to different worlds and it’s still up, so Echo must still be on Earth 1. Camilla tells Breacher that Cisco isn’t Vibe anymore. Breacher asks about something called Breach psychosis, which can happen when suppressing powers. It causes hallucinations, weird blackouts and dry mouth. Since Cisco did not suppress but eliminated his powers, he shouldn’t be suffering from this. The B.A.R.I tells Cisco to go to the crime scene. Camilla decides to come with him.

Nash almost burns himself and Joe alive trying to get them out of their mess. In doing so, he eliminated most of the oxygen, so they now have 42 minutes to live.

Killer Frost is with Novok, who I forgot is still alive. He found evidence of Ramsey and warns Killer Frost off going after him. Ralph shows up and agrees with Novok. Killer Frost shouldn’t do this alone. Novok leaves and Ralph tells that she has to have faith in people. Killer Frost is sure that this is her problem and she’s going to solve it, but Ralph does give her an idea.

The Collectors are at the crime scene. They give Gypsy’s time of death at 2:30-4:30 am, but she’s been vaporized. The Collectors then lock down the area and tell Cisco and Camilla to leave. The head Collector rubs Cisco the wrong way and becomes the prime suspect.

Joe gives Nash the talking to that he so desperately needs.

Cisco has a plan, but it might involve seeing Gypsy die. There’s too much pseudoscience gobblygook for me to explain it properly, but essentially, he’s going to use something he got from the crime scene and his white noise machine to vibe her death. Breacher has to hold his hand to also be involved.

While they do that, Camilla is going to find the murder weapon.

She finds it in Cisco’s lab, and Cisco and Breacher see him kill Gypsy. Breacher’s first instinct is violence. Cisco insists that he didn’t do it and Camilla tries to step in between them. The obvious first theory is that one of Cisco’s doppelgangers killed her, but Breacher insists that they are all pencil pushers. Cisco is the only one capable.  After this, Breacher and Cisco come to the same conclusion: he has breach psychosis. Breacher gives him an hour to get his affairs in order and turn himself in. Otherwise Cisco will die.

Joe tells Nash about Crisis and the Monitor before he passes out. Ralph comes through the rockslide and gets them out, just like Joe had faith that he would.

Caitlin goes to Ramsey. He tells her that he’s learned to control his new power and asks her to join him. She’s always been a sister to him, and she’s already lost too much. She tries to tell him to be the man that his mother has so much faith in, but he’s way too far gone for that. When she realizes that, she tells him that his version of living is a nightmare. He begins to choke her, but then lets her go. The next time, he won’t leave her any choice.

Camilla still thinks that Cisco is innocent and confronts him for having no faith in himself. He created the B.A.R.I. so that he would never have to make any decisions, but Barry didn’t pick him to be the Flash. Barry picked him to be himself. This gives Cisco an idea.

He surrenders to the Collector and tells Breacher that everything he needs to know is in a holocube beside him. When the lead Collector tries to cuff him, the cuffs go straight through the hologram. The real Cisco walks in and tells them that he needed them to release the net and he’s going to find Gypsy’s killer.

He leaves them behind a forcefield and goes to the crime scene, where he finds his doppelganger Echo. He’s a multiversal identity hacker. He gloats about his evil plan while Cisco holds him at gun point. He says it was Cisco that killed her. When she saw his face, that was the second he needed to overpower her. Cisco takes too long to shoot him, so they fight. Echo has no such hesitation when he gets the drop on Cisco, but when he fires, it puts a forcefield around him. Cisco’s just plain smarter. The Collectors, who got Cisco’s message, show up and grab Echo.

Breacher, Cisco, and Camilla talk. Breacher is sorry that he didn’t have enough faith in Cisco and says that it was no accident that Gypsy lured Echo to this Earth before she died. She knew Cisco would catch him. He invites Cisco and Camilla to Gypsy’s funeral. He says that Gypsy would have liked Camilla. Cisco awkwardly tells Camilla that he loves her, which he has been trying to do all episode.

Barry and Iris get back from their vacation. Barry is completely unsurprised when Cisco tells him that he dismantled the B.A.R.I. They are so sorry about Gypsy and offer to go to the funeral too. Cisco tells them that Camilla is going to go with him. Gypsy may not have been the one, but she taught how to be who he needed to be when he found the one.

The rest of the team is in the infirmary with Joe and Nash. Now that Nash knows that they’ve spoken with the Monitor, he has a plan to save Barry. Of course he can’t just tell them. They have to meet in the tunnels the next morning.

While there was far too much technobabble, I enjoyed the theme of the episode and continuing to deal with Crisis without saying it every five seconds. 8/10.

[rabbittstewcomics]

Episode 366

Comic Reviews:

DC

Olympus Rebirth by Becky Cloonan, Michael Conrad, Caitlin Yarsky, Jordie Bellaire

Tales of the Human Target by Tom King, Greg Smallwood, Mikel Janin, Kevin Maguire, Rafael Albuquerque, Dave Stewart, Alex Sinclair, Arif Prianto

Marvel

A.X.E. Judgment Day 3 by Kieron Gillen, Valerio Schiti, Marte Gracia

Damage Control 1 by Hans Rodionoff, Adam Goldberg, Charlotte Fullerton, Will Robson, Ruth Redmond, Jay Fosgitt

Fantastic Four 46 by Dan Slott, Cafu, Jesus Aburtov

ComiXology

New America 1 by Curt Pires, Lucas Casalanguida, Mark Dale

Dark Horse

Minor Threats 1 by Patton Oswalt, Jordan Blum, Scott Hepburn, Ian Herring

Star Wars: Hyperspace Stories 1 by Amanda Deibert, Lucas Marangon

Boom

Magic: Ajani Goldmane 1 by Seanan McGuire, Ariel Olivetti

Wynd: Throne in the Sky 1 by James Tynion IV, Michael Dialynas

Dynamite

Dejah Thoris Fairy Tales by Ron Marz, Andres Labrada

Vault

End After End 1 by David Brian Andry, Tim Daniel, Sunando, Michael Russell

Archie

Big Ethel Energy by Keryl Brown Ahmed, Siobhan Keenan

Titan

Gun Honey: Blood for Blood 1 by Charles Ardai, Ang Hor Kheng, Asifur Rahman

Ray’s OGN Corner: The Witch Boy by Molly Knox Ostertag

Additional Reviews: She-Hulk ep2, Sandman, Nope, Game of Thrones, Daredevil by Charles Soule, Hamster and Gretel, Rage by Jimmy Palmiotti

News: More HBO cuts, Mr. Sinister event next year, Monica Rambeau mini-series, new Red Sonja movie, King Kong series on Disney+, bizarre new animated project, delays for Shazam 2 and Aquaman 2, Matt Shankman of WandaVision rumored as new FF director, Umbrella Academy gets fourth and final season, new head of DC film division, Omninews, Resident Evil cancelled, Wasp mini from Al Ewing, GoT gets a second season, Kyle Rayner Hispanic Heritage Month variant cover controversy

Trailers: Pinocchio

Comics Countdown:  

Tales of the Human Target by Tom King, Greg Smallwood, Mikel Janin, Kevin Maguire, Rafael Albuquerque, Dave Stewart, Alex Sinclair, Arif Prianto

Wynd: The Throne in the Sky 1 by James Tynion IV, Michael Dialynas

Deadly Class 55 by Rick Remender, Wes Craig, Lee Loughridge

Radiant Black 17 by Kyle Higgins, Marcelo Costa, Igor Monti

Swamp Thing 16 by Ram V, Mike Perkins, Mike Spicer

Department of Truth 20 by James Tynion IV, Martin Simmonds

Lonesome Hunters 3 by Tyler Crook

I Hate This Place 4 by Kyle Starks, Artyom Topilin, Lee Loughridge

TMNT: Armageddon Game – Opening Moves 2 by Tom Waltz, Fero Peniche, Ronda Pattison

Grim 4 by Stephanie Phillips, Flaviano, Rico Renzi

Check out this episode!

[amoreluxhq]

          welcome  to  amorelux,  FERA  LANE  !  you  probably  get  this  a  lot  but  you  sure  look  a  lot  like  caitlin  stasey.  make  sure  to  review  your  LEASE  AGREEMENT  and  pick  up  your  keys  !  and  don’t  forget  to  send  us  your  account  within  the  next  24  HOURS.

🌦  «  caitlin  stasey.  cis  female.  she/her.  30.  »  was  that  FERA  LANE  walking  through  the  doors  of  amorelux  ?  i  heard  they  just  moved  in  to  apartment  1401  from  TORONTO,  ON  and  work  as  a  surgical  resident.  they  seem  effulgent  &  sedulous  but  don’t  get  on  their  bad  side  !  they  can  be  gauche  &  perverse  trait  which  makes  sense  since  they’re  a  PISCES.  you  know  they’re  home  when  you  see  a  flash  of  dozens  of  mini  chocolate  wrappers  carelessly  discarded  on  the  floor,  the  glow  of  a  laptop  and  the  sound  of  incessant  at  an  unfathomable  hour  -  thousands  of  windows  open  -  hoping  at  least  one  of  them  provides  the  answers  you’re  seeking,  and  getting  a  haircut  instead  of  going  to  therapy  .  ↷  em.  25.  est.  she/her.  *kelvin

[inceptiondigital1]

28 Pack Sensory Toys Set

Fidget Toy

Fidget toys have become all the rage in recent years. From occupational therapy offices, to classrooms, to work meetings, these items have spread like wildfire for their usefulness in keeping busy hands and minds focused, as well as for the simple fact that they’re just plain fun. But what exactly makes one fidget toy better than another? And what kinds of things do we need to know prior to purchasing one (or a dozen) for the kiddos in our lives? For this, we’ve turned to Caitlin Sanschagrin, an occupational therapist and co-founder of Bright SpOT Pediatric Therapy serving Texas’ greater Austin area.

Choosing Age-Appropriate Fidget Toys

First and foremost, consider who the fidget toy is for.

“The purpose of fidget [and] sensory toys for toddlers is sensory exploration,” Sanschagrin says. “[They] are learning about the world through their environment, and offering them various sensory experiences encourages them to learn in different ways.” At this stage in development, she recommends sensory-based toys that have multiple textures, high-contrast colors, or even fun sounds, like crinkle paper.

Fidget toys for elementary-aged children are used more for regulation. “This means that fidgets can be a tool to either ‘wake up’ your body [and] brain or to calm yourself down,” she says. For this age range, she says the biggest benefit comes from toys that encourage more movement and strong sensory feedback. Kids might use more concentration while playing with these toys and often focus more on the toy itself.

“Additionally, fidgets that provide a sense of deep pressure, compression—or as we occupational therapists call it, proprioceptive input—would be a great option,” Sanschagrin says. “This would include things that make the child’s hands work hard by squeezing, pinching, stretching apart, or pushing the fidget.”

More Great Toys: Pop Mech’s 2021 Game and Toy Awards • These 10 Science Toys are as Entertaining as They are Educational • The Best Science Kits for Budding Experimenters

Teens and adults use fidget toys for regulation as well, Sanschagrin says, but tend to use smaller ones that are both fun and easily used while focusing on other activities. “Consider fidgets that would be inconspicuous when held in their hands or even fidgets that can be manipulated using only one hand,” she says. “These are the more traditional forms of fidgets, like the classic fidget spinner that was popular a few years ago.”

Sanschagrin recommends occasionally rotating fidgets, as kids tend to go through phases of what they like, and this will help renew their interest in their toys. “Also keep in mind the goal or what function you want to fidget to serve prior to purchasing,” she says. “If your child really likes the fidget using their fingers, a fidget snake is more likely to land rather than a squeeze ball.” Overall, though, she says fidget preference simply depends on the person, and parents should be open to trial and error.

How We Evaluated

To figure out which fidget toys would make the cut, I asked for recommendations from other parents, as well as from Sanschagrin, who uses fidgets in her occupational therapy practice. I also tested a few out and allowed my 7-year-old to test some, too. I read through countless reviews on various retail sites to see which ones consumers recommend, making sure to note which reviews were independent versus ones that were in exchange for free products, to reduce bias. After careful deliberation, these are the best fidget toys for all ages and a variety of purposes.

28 Pack Sensory Toys Set, Relieves Stress and Anxiety Fidget Toy for Children Ad

PACK OF 28: 3 Mochi Squishies, 3 Stretchy String Fidgets, 2 Mesh and Marble Sensory Toys, 1 Infinity Cube, 1 Fidget Pad, 1 Soccer Spinner, 2 3x3 Speed Cubes, 1 Tracks Fidget, 2 Snake Cube Twist Puzzles, 1 Puzzle Box, 1 Star Bouncy Ball, 1 Finger Ring, 1 Football Foam Ball, 1 World Map Foam Ball, 1 Bean Keychain, 1 Mini Pop Tube, 2 Flip Chains and 3 Fidget Spinners.

CHILD SAFE: Non-Toxic. Meets US Toy Standards. Safety Test-Approved. Durable. Superior Quality. Deluxe Set.

Fidget and Sensory Toys: A Perfect Way to Relieve Stress - Small Toys to Hold in the Palm of Your Hand. It's A Fun Way to Keep the Brain Focused and The Hands Busy.

POPULAR USES: For fun Birthday Party Favors, Classroom Rewards, Carnivals, Prize Boxes, Piñata Filler, Stocking Stuffers, Goodie Bag Fillers.

Great Design for Anxiety, Focusing, ADHD, ADD, Autism, OCD, Quitting Bad Habits, etc. Helps Relieve Stress. Get It and Share It with Your Friends for A Fun Christmas or at Party Time.

Fidget sensory toys help to relieve stress, calm nerves and increase focus for children and adults, especially those with ADHD, ADD, OCD and autism.

Ideal for parties, holidays, classrooms or for use as office toys. The toys keep you alert and focused throughout the day and help to develop new ideas. Great for students who can’t sit still.

Set of Animal Squishies Mochi Squeeze Toys: These squishies are amazingly soft. You will not be able to stop pinching them because of how great they feel and their squeeze ability.

Set of Stretchy String Fidget: Stretch, pull, twirl, wrap and squeeze them, then watch them bounce back to their original shape. These toys are perfect for sensory and tactile stimulation.

Set of Mesh and Marble Sensory Toys: Squeeze or slide the marble forth and back, bend it, fold it, squeeze the sleeve together and roll the marble like shaking bell.

Set of Infinity Cube: The foldable Infinity cube is composed of eight small cubes. Each cube can be rotated from any direction and angle. Hold it in one hand and make it into any shape you like.

Set of Fidget block: This fidget block features 6 sides for you to rub, roll, spin, press, control and switch; it is anti-stress cube.

Website: https://www.ebay.com/itm/374123315712?hash=item571b7cc200:g:bEcAAOSwJxVioy7q

[countjason]

Jason’s 8th Annual Post/Pre-Year Review/Goal

Last year, I didn’t do this so is this 8 or is this one again?  Maybe’s it’s 7?  Idk…let’s assume it’s 8.

I forget why I didn’t do this since I’ve been pretty good over the course of the decade in both setting goals and reflecting, both good and bad on the outcome of those goals.  I couldn't give you an answer why 2018 was so different than the previous 6 years.  For good or bad, these entries are the only ones I do and maybe the last on Tumblr now that the platform may be dying due to porn.  Either way, I will reflect in the best I can given I didn’t set goals for 2018 and start anew with goals for 2019.

2018 Reflection

Work

2018 was hard.  It started strong with the new position at my new job as a scheduler.  I soon realized, however, I made an ill-made choice.  I can't say it was a "bad" decision because, at the time, I wasn't happy on what became of me being a configuration, change, release manager and the prospect of me being a project manager was slim with the ongoing fight between our contract prime and my company at the time.  The decision to leave seemed easy since my current company had a pay increase so, hey, follow the money right?

Well, six months in and I began to grow tired of the sheer boredom of the job.  Here I go from running a major project, flying to Germany to work with the customer, addressing changes and being active (though be it not what I wanted  to do) NOW basically perform statuses once a month and learning nothing new.  It’s almost to the point where I think I’m forgetting some skills like my SharePoint knowledge since they don’t use that tool at all and caught in their own ways (and anytime you try to change or show them a better way, you’re immediately dismissed).  

I can pinpoint the exact day that started the ongoing job hunt. It was not after I graduated - no, it in September 2018 when my company posted a position for a project manager and I immediately inquired to my boss for which I was told I don't have enough experience for the role.  Not enough experience?  How the heck am I supposed to get experience when I’m not mentored, spinning in my chair picking my nose half the month and told there’s nothing else I need to do or I’m not physically doing any aspect of the job to gain said experience you want in a project manager here?  Do you really think I would leave you hung out to dry or wouldn't know where to ask for help should I needed it (which was likely)? Are you so concerned with your company image that the slightest ignorance in any area is a death sentence?  Here I was familiar with the protocol the company did for financials, scheduling, and other areas that I learned over the course of nine months but because I wasn't an engineer, I was told they wanted to more likely recruit talent from a competitor and more engineering minded despite the fact all the previous PMs had little to no engineering experience at all.  Mind you this was after graduating with my master’s degree in Project Management, have more certifications that are gold standards for my line of work, and just having a background in previous project management type functions and keep in mind folks - a PM is not necessarily the subject matter expert, they are what keeps the project rolling so you really don’t need to know every aspect of a program, just who to talk to and where to look.  

They made me a “Deputy Program Manager” after this conversation but the bulk of my job has been the same as I started...  

It didn’t help they screwed over one of my only friends I barely made at my company and he quit. I’m horrible at making friends and I respected this guy because he was one of the few people that valued my input and didn’t treat me like a high-school intern (“ok children, today we’ll learn what a work breakdown structure is…”).  

Now to continue and conclude with the job topic because this horse is beat’in to death (Sorry, Not Sorry PETA), I will say that the outlook VERY recently is looking good. I have a few more interviews between a couple more companies and hopefully, I can land where my talent is useful.

School

I graduated college in 2018 the 3rd time.  

This time with a master’s degree in project management as I previously mentioned.  It was never my desire after graduating in 2011 to go back to school but in 2015, after watching Caitlin struggle with part-time work and full-time school, I wanted to set somewhat of an example in that you can work full-time work and school and get done with things.  Fast forward to 2018 and I’m done with that and Caitlin is still in school.  I am proud of this accomplishment since the 21-year-old Jason would have never believed I’d have a master’s degree.  

There's some internal vindication for all those Navy Officers that were "better than me since they were Officers" or Chief’s that said “leaving the Navy would be the worst decision I ever made” that I now have a higher education than over half of them a decade later.  They say revenge doesn't feel good – they are full a shit or I'm messed up.   I got to fly my parents to Maryland to witness the graduation in person so at least I know they got to see that.  I did enroll at Columbia Southern University in 2018 to work toward my DBA.  I finished all my prerequisite classes but had to put my school on hold due to the expense of Caitlin's school doubling on me. More on this in 2019 goals.  I’m looking to start that back up in the summer if all aligns properly.

Entertainment

If there’s one thing that I like to do these days is follow NASCAR.  I turned into my father but don’t hate it really.  Here’s me running at New Smyra Speedway this past past weekend.

Unfortunately, when it came to going to NASCAR races this year, we bet and lost on rain occurring in Atlanta (we ended up getting a cat named “Rain De’Lay” as a result and I watched the race happen on TV even though every weatherman said it was going to pour!) and Dad got sick this year and he couldn’t come to the Roval race we planned as well. We did plan the Bristol night race in 2019 so hopefully, I can have that.  Caitlin was a trooper for going to the Charlotte race with me which I know she didn’t overly like which was expected...

BUT…she did go camping and see the north which leads to later this month in us going to the Asheville area of North Carolina for Christmas vacation. If there’s one time in my life I want snow to happen it’s coming up here soon.

Also in entertainment, we had mini-adventures that’s needed – I went to St. Augustine overnight hunting ghosts (or talking to a lamp) at the British Pub’s upstairs apartment.  

Worth noting but technically out-of-bounds for this topic is Caitlin and I went to New Orleans LATE December 2017 (so almost 2018). I also rode in a boat during the Gasperilla festival which is a whole new level of experience.  I am curious to know how many water balloons we will have this year?

We went to Daytona several times this year including our annual family stay at the timeshare and mini-getaways as recent as last week.  We also explored Washington DC and Baltimore during my graduation trip.

Okay – now planning/goals out 2019…

Get a new job – This one is important since 90% of my waking existence is at a job.  If I’m not happy there, it’s too my core and I’m not happy in general.  I wish I was better in this area since Caitlin works in the funeral business and has a better appreciation toward the little things but it’s still a thing since it is 90% of my waking life and I’ve worked since I was 16 yrs old.   I would obviously like to get paid what I feel I’m deserved too – not just get a job to get away from another job.  

Vacations – I have a cruise planned in May which is almost paid for and I would like to eventually go to Las Vegas.  I wouldn’t want to go to Vegas without a little money in my pocket, but we’ll see.  I also have the Bristol night race in August which represents the final bucket list race I could want to do with my Dad.  Does that mean I’m done after Bristol? Probably not but I could certainly wish my Dad off should he die knowing I got him there, Talledega, Daytona, Homestead, and Atlanta.

School – I got a long way to go for a DBA but I’d like to get the main classes started in 2019.  I gotta wait until money isn't so tight or there are options like tuition assistance but I'd like to get started in that.

Find more friends – A lot of my friends 8 years ago I don't really relate to now.  I'm simply not the same person. Those people, in most cases, are the EXACT same people and we don't relate.  Going back to 90% of my day with work, I need to find work friends but certainly not at my current job where everyone I work with me is 20 years older than me or are unsociable.  I mean it can't get any worse than now where I have a co-worker literally 5 feet behind me and insist to communicate primarily through email.  Even if it's not "work" friends, I need friends that have the same goals, likes, and what not.  That's why I like people like Eric or James– they have ambition in areas I like today. I still need to find a NASCAR buddy too but that’s surprisingly hard.

Health – Anyone that says getting older doesn’t suck can blow me.  I know less than 5 years ago, I could run in the morning and had gym buddies which motivated me.  Granted I was walking around like I was crippled half the time afterward, but it was fun.  I really don't have that same motivation these days.  I still go to the gym periodically but not as I used too.  I joke about my fat head so maybe in 2019, I'll find that extra gas in the tank and while I've accepted not being 180 lbs again, maybe just looking better which will make me feel better as well.  

Financially working in the right direction – To get my house, I had to use retirement money.  To fix the carpet that got destroyed in Caitlin’s library, I had to use more.  I have quite a bit of old debt and new debt that is higher than I like but there’s always been this assumption that I’m just waiting for the right job to pay me what I deserve, AND Caitlin will finally pull her weight since I support her. Once one or both those things happen, we will be able to work off that debt and maybe see the chances of retirement….eventually.  

Potentially Move? – Given the job prospects, I’ve been looking at opportunities to leave Florida. I am so over “hot, humid, high of 100” every-freakin-day.  Part of the upcoming North Carolina trip is to expose Caitlin to the cold. If she tolerates it, the option to move up north is more present. I mean hell, our house is an igloo anyway.  Even still talking about moving north, moving east in Florida has the same possibilities. I know 2019 may be too soon given the dependency I have with Caitlin but given the right situation, it’s entirely possible.  

Help Caitlin – I could jokingly say “well this is a huge project” but I don’t mean it like that.  She’s been fighting her demons and I’ve been helping.  I would also foresee myself assisting in her passing her classes and exams she needs to take but that’s really all on her and if she asks for it. In all, I just hope to continue to be a good(ish) role-model and help when I can.

Iracing – 2 more to 10…geez, we’re hitting the bottom of the barrel now.  This is just a hobby, be it an expensive hobby I built up, but I hope to continue doing well in the game and not get bored with it lol.  It’s just too expensive to not.

House Upgrades – I would like to upgrade the floors in the man cave and the bedroom in 2019.  This is a lot of work and shifting of things since I have the master bed which is huge in one room and the racing rig and desk in the other.  I have the supplies sitting in the corner collecting dust waiting to be done, but I would need to shift so much around to do it, I’ve told myself it can only be done if we move.  We’ll see, not putting a lot of hope in this one but it’s number 10 on the list.

Well that’s 2019′s plans for you and some reflection on 2018.  Talk to you next year Jason (and anyone else that reads my rhetoric).