#CURSE YOU HANNIBAL LECTOR AND WILL GRAHAM

[standing-flowers]

guess who finally finished the second series of Hannibal x3

I HATE THOSE GAYS I HATE THEM I HATE THEM HOW DARE THEY I SOBBED I BAWLED CURSE THEM I HATE THEM

[n3kk1tty]

Slasher Company AU

Art The Clown: List of Reasons He is banned from the office. Part 1

This is an AU in which all Horror Movie villains / Slashers exist and work for one company.

The List of his and his smaller companions offenses in the headquarters is long and continuously being added to with each time he breaks in.

This man is a troll, a being of chaos that listens to no one and can only be corralled by one retainer. Niki Dreadwood : one of the top three retainers in the head office.

The whole reason Niki worked her way up so quickly is because she was notably the only retainer able to keep up with the pair of clowns. This has been a blessing and a curse and it's not because her methods can be recreated by others easily. To work with these two you have to be able to take quite the beating and not take it to heart. Niki is a master at necromancy and healing so as the clown would torment her she'd brush it off with a laugh body parts regrowing in the blink of an eye which entertained the clown to no end. Not to mention Niki uses her magic to put on a good ol gory magic show for the pair, like keeping two murderous toddlers at bay. One dismembered body part at a time.

This has caused the pair to repeatedly break into headquarters and cause problems because Niki is not their retainer anymore and she keeps trying to replace someone in her old position. Art has flayed retainers alive, hit them with cars, tortured them while they were alive waiting for them to die and come back to start the game all over again. Just no one has the same joy and showman ship as Niki and the clowns. Niki often brings dead animals to life to dance for the pairs amusement or an occasional gun shot to Arts head as they get a laugh outta him and he behaves after he has had his fun.

A lot of slashers and people work in headquarters and Arts favorite punching bag is the very posh man of Hannibal Lector.

His Offenses include:

Shitting in Hannibals office on multiple occasions.

Jerking off and exposing himself to Hannibal Lector in hopes the man will chase him.

Leaving his genetic material all over Will Grahams desk in hopes to upset Lector further.

Putting things in Hannibals coffee.

Running up to Hannibal and stabbing him then running away.

Pouring a bucket of blood on top of Will and Hannibal during their lunch.

Hannibal is not usually a man to be bothered by such tactics but this feud has been going on for ages and the only way the poor doctor gets any peace or keeping the foul clown away is by promptly executing him on the spot. Hannibal doesn't tend to like using guns as it's not as artful but Hannibal is not killing Art for artful purposes or to make statements. He is simply executing a pest. When Art does get into spats with Hannibal you can see the Doctor following behind the clown with a hunting rifle.

Another being in the office who hates Art with a passion for his transgressions is Audrey 2 . This oversized pampered house plant is the resident body disposal unit for the cleaning crew sector. Audrey had multiple heads connected and spread through the magical building and is beloved by the many who work in the building as the plant will often sing for others.

What has Art done to Garner the wrath of this carnivorous plant? Quite simple. Pissed on him and fucked with Seymour.

See when Audrey was brought to the company so was Seymour as the plant refused to leave without him. So Seymour is now the resident plant expert in the green house of the headquarters. He spends his days taking care of exotic plants he loves, while helping dish out herbs to the retainers who need them for spells or healing potions. The pair are often in the garden enjoying singing show tunes together and Hannibal, Will and many others frequently take their lunches in the botanical lounge to enjoy the pairs company.

So what happens when a certain clown gets into this beautiful haven of music, plants, and comfort. Cause chaos of course.

His Offenses include:

Standing on a balcony and waiting for Audrey to open it's mouth wide during a particular Doctors favorite opera performance only for the clown to piss directly into the plants mouth.

Threw objects at the plant

Poured a bucket of guts on a unexpecting Seymour which upset the man and the plant.

Like to sit and unnerve poor Seymour until Audrey catches wind and makes a attack at the clown.

Will despises Art. Absolutely hates coming into the office when the clown has broken in. Not only had this asshole jizzed on the man's desk just to get at Hannibal but the clowns presence in general fucks with the man. The only reason Art hasn't attacked Will physically yet is one because Will is constantly strapped. This includes Wills gun that he is quick to draw and shoot at the offending clown but also his furry companion who Will gladly adopted soon after joining the company.

Who would this companion be? None other than Cujo himself.

This big pup loves Will and is willing to kill for the man in a heart beat. So when this clown gets even with a smelling distance this good boy is ready to rip Art a new asshole. And believe me. He has.

Nothing is more satisfying than watching a tall lanky clown sprint away knees to chest from a giant Saint Bernard who is quickly gaining on him. Cujo doesn't stop either unless he's commanded to or pulled off Arts mangled face. This pup is extremely big and a furry tank. The clown always loses.

What is the company doing to prevent damages?:

Have security on high alert for the clown all the time. Immediately summon Niki Dreadwood to handle getting the clown out of the building as soon as possible. If Niki is not available personal is instructed to minimize damages and keep watch and a distance. If the situation escalates the firing squad is required to put as much lead into Art as possible until he is incapacitated

This AU is free for people to join in the discussion and make content for this world. Make Oc's, art, or ideas till your hearts content using #SlasherCo tag to keep all the content easy to follow on Tumblr. I'm excited to see what comes from this adventure.

@getmeoutofhell this post is for you.

[p0isonedcherub]

a fleshy breakfast// hannigram

a/n: this is a joke oh god please believe me 

pairing: Hannibal Lector x Will Graham

warnings: cannibalism, the socks are off, blood, gore talk (stay safe loves) 

lovers prepare a fine breakfast to celebrate each other

////

“Will, I told you to clean off the counter.” Hannibal muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose with a sigh, his lips pulled thin against his face. “And with cold water this time..” he added, insinuating that there was another incident with a pool of blood dribbling off the marble. 

Will rubbed at his eyes as he watched his coffee lazily trickle out of the spout, sliding down into his mug. “Why am I always the one that has to clean the counter?” he grumbled, scratching at the shadow of a beard on his jaw. 

“Because you always get squeamish when it comes to cooking the meat, so I decided to split up the tasks with you. That seems fair, doesn’t it?” Hannibal retorted, splashing a bit of olive oil into a pan and turning on the stove, his free hand sliding a slab of bloody flesh over the slick skillet. 

Will grabbed his mug, turning around to glare at Hannibal. “Well maybe...just maybe...if you wouldn’t make human instead of bacon for breakfast, we wouldn’t have this issue.” he grunted, slamming a wet rag onto the bloody blemish. 

Hannibal let out a soft laugh, shaking his head. “My love, when you frown...it saddens me.” 

Will muttered curses to himself as he scrubbed at the counter, dragging the reddening rag across the blood. “I hate it when you’re sarcastic, you know that?” he scoffed, wishing he could instead smear the blood all over Hannibal’s smug face. 

Hannibal turned off the stove, making his way over to his grumpy partner and wrapping his arms around Will’s waist, squeezing his stomach. “You’ve shown me that you are not a morning person, am I correct? Could it be that you’re not a morning person because you wish to not face the reality of your day to day life?” he whispered, burrowing his nose into the sloping nape of Will’s neck. “Mhm. You smell amazing, I could just gobble you up.” Hannibal cooed, causing a chill to run down Will’s spine. 

“The problem with that statement is, you probably would eat me given the chance.” Will scolded, receiving a soft kiss on his lips instead of an answer.  

[glare-gryphon]

For @countthelions fic rec bingo card. I got bingo on the first line and ran out of steam by the third, so here is an only partially completed Rec List dug from my hoard of Ao3 bookmarks. GFFA how do you manage to do what you do  i have so much respect for it.

Anyways, this list is not intended to be Obikin specific, but due to being me, it’s still mostly Obikin.

1. A fic you love without knowing the source material: The Eagle and the Wolf by @fireflyfish

I’ve never seen the film this AU is built off of, but gosh darn it do I love some tragic lovers separated by fate. In this concept, Anakin and Obi-Wan are lovers, cursed to alternately transform into an animal form as the sun rises or sets. In the day, Anakin cares for a beautiful eagle, and at night Obi-Wan is stalked by the form of a great wolf. 

2. A fic with a premise that shouldn’t work, but does: Wake Up, Sleeper by penpenhooray

Breaking free from my typical Obikin recs, this is a Kylo/Hux story based around the concept that Hux is a sleeper agent for the Rebellion and the sole Jedi survivor of Luke Skywalker’s Jedi school. I admit I haven’t kept up with its sequels just due to time constraints, but By God do I love this particular work

3. A fic you’ve reread several times: A Robin Redbreast (In a Cage) by onawingandaswear

This is a Hannibal Lector/Will Graham fic exploring an alternative universe that combines elements of both NBC’s Hannibal, and the show’s source material Red Dragon. In this fic, Will returns to the Baltimore State Hospital seeking treatment the traumas inflicted upon him by Hannibal’s manipulations, but Chilton has other plans for Will’s mind, and he finds himself housed next to the man he both loves and despises in equal measure.

4. A fic you still remember many years later: The World Undone by @writegowrite

Can you all believe that it’s been nearly four years since Lily published this piece? Because I, my friends, had to do a double-take when I looked at the dates. Lily’s work has always been an inspiration, and The World Undone will probably always have a place in my heart as one of the best Sith Obi-Wan fics out there. 

5. A comfort fic: Wicked Thing by Imaginarykat I don’t think I need to explain this one. If you’re here, you already know.

7. A fic you’d print out and put on your bookshelf: Occam’s Razor by BlairRabbit

This is THE Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb fic, if you’re a fan of Pacific Rim and this pairing. It’s a post-film exploration of Herman and Newt’s drift compatibility in an unstable new world, and how their connection to the remaining Kaiju will shake that world to its foundations. This fic is a gut-wrenching and beautiful exploration of love and family and loyalty in the face of hate and terror. I can say this is one of my top 5 favorite fics ever. Not that there’s really a list.

8. A fic you associate with a song: Untouchable by Blu3sc0rpion

Song: Limi - Mona Lisa. Untouchable is my guilty pleasure fic and I love it so much. It does deal with some very dark content, but I like that kind of thing so.

9. A fic that inspires you: Reap What You Sow by mz_valkyrie

 I’ve been estranged from the Arrow fandom for many years now, but I can say without hesitation that Reap What You Sow was the series that first inspired a love of the A/B/O trope that I carry to this day. RWYS is an Oliver Queen/Slade Wilson alternative universe where an ill-timed heat brings a ghost and feelings long believed forgotten back into the life of Oliver Queen. There is a sequel that publishes sporadically, but I haven’t been actively involved in the Arrow fandom for some time, and am not up to date on it.

12. A fic that led you to making friends with the author: Pursuit by @icsek 

I honestly can’t remember if Icse and I were friends before or after she started Pursuit, but I do recall that discussion of this AU came up due to our mutual affliction of being Horse People. I still love this fic, and Anakin’s hopeless pining.

13, Free space: Conceal Me What I Am by @himboskywalker

A wonderful ABO fic exploring an arranged political marriage between Beta Senator Obi-Wan Kenobi and Alpha Jedi General Anakin Skywalker. However, neither man is what they seem, and must navigate their strange new relationship while hiding the truth of their gender from one another.

14. A fic you’ve gushed about IRL: Equinox by @writegowrite

Listen, I love all of Lily’s AUs and could probably fill an entire rec list with just she and Fishy’s works. However, Tikkun and I did talk about this one recently so it gets this spot. Equinox had me in suspense the entire time, and I waited for each chapter with baited breath.

15. A fic that reminds you of a place: The Princess, the Smuggler, and the Sith Lord’s Son by Sassophrass

This OT era fic explores an AU where Luke had come to be raised by Darth Vader as the heir to the Imperial Throne. I can tell you that this fic absolutely destroyed me emotionally. It’s an amazing piece, and I still have vivid memories of actively sobbing in my kitchen at a certain point in the story. 10/10 would recommend it.

[lathinhalei]

I'd love a Dexter crossover but without any of that Hannibal is killed by Dexter/mentors him/Will and Dexter team up stuff.

No, I just wanna see the Dexter cast react to the surrealist nightmare that is Will Graham's life. Because Dexter might not be "realistic", but Hannibal just functions on another plane of reality entirely.

Have it be mid or post s3 Hannibal, Lector's out of the picture and Will is at peak not giving a fuck. Maybe like s2 Dexter for BHB and the ideal cast.

Will not giving a fuck about the Bay Harbor Butcher because it's such a boring profile it's basically beneath him to even pendulum into that shit. Smirking at the team like, "Oh you think this is bad? Let me tell you about the totem pole guy."

And of course as soon as he turns up the serial killers start going from run of the mill to ludicrous. Because the nightmarish hellscape follows Will wherever he goes.

Debra reacting to her first Hannibal-esque corpse mural and Will fully realizing how Not Normal his entire career has been because all he can think about is how sloppy the composition is.

Will talking all poetic in his sad but creepy way while everybody side eyes him. Just the contrast between the way Will talks and the constant stream of curse words from the Dexter team.

Doakes getting distracted from his Dexter stalking because now he's actually come across someone MORE creepy than Dexter. Tails Will for a bit and catches him saving some stray dog on the side of the road. Only becomes more suspicious. Because like who the fuck is this guy even.

Will noticing Dexter is obviously a sociopath three seconds after meeting him and being like ehh whatever him and half the politicians in America amirite. He realizes who the Bay Harbor Butcher is the second he finds out the victims were killers, but doesn't do anything except fuck with Dexter by making cryptic remarks and vaguely suggesting he frame Doakes.

Will fucking with everybody in general. Alll the cannibalism puns and the most morbid of jokes. Just getting kicks out of disturbing them with the bitterest of Will smirks because their entire lives are so quaint.

I think I need to end this here. There's just so much potential for humor in colliding these two worlds that it's honestly kind of sad to see it go to waste in the few fics available.

[anndiscworld-phile]

Why is Shigure and Akito one of your oldest and strongest OTPs? What stood out about them to you compared to all the other ships in Fruits Basket?

hi anon! 

oh wow, this is such a great question. i took a little while to answer this because it really made me think. okay, so here goes

(it’s long so buckle in)

—

so first off, shipping for me is more than just liking a couple. 

generally, i ship characters because i find a relationship between them interesting and I want to explore it. there are plenty of couples, especially het, who i like a lot, but don’t actively ship. usually because i’m satisfied with how canon has examined that dynamic. that’s pretty much the case with most of the ships in fruits basket. i like kyo/tohru, yuki/machi, rin/haru, etc., 

shigure and akito tho, oh my. 

i think the reason they stand out as a couple is that they are adults in an unapologetically adult relationship. fruits basket is a shoujo series about teenagers aimed at a teenage audience. 

but shigure and akito aren’t kids. they have history. they fuck. they hurt each other, and not in the ‘someone surprise!kissed me and i didn’t push away immediately and you saw’ kinda way. they have done the kind of shit to each other that could power a dozen shakespearean tragedies. 

to 14/15 year old me, their relationship was so starkly different from anything i’d ever came across. shigure and akito’s relationship felt intimate and complicated. the other couples made me want to coo. they made my head spin.

and here’s the thing that really makes their relationship fascinating: shigure and akito are both horrible people. 

like, just setting aside the abuse akito and ruthless machinations shigure of these characters, they are horrible. akito is the kind of person who would sleep with someone else and think it’s justified. shigure is the kind of person who would sleep with your mother and think it’s justified. in a way, you’re almost like, thank god they ended up with each other, because you wouldn’t want to inflict them on anyone else.

and yet, they’re happy together. they’re a good couple. they love each other. and their love is what sets the stage for the series to take place

because we find out shigure is the one who kick started the plot. his needs and wants shape the circumstances that allow the story to unfold. 

what does shigure want? akito, all to himself. 

so what does shigure need? for the curse to be broken, so that akito’s connection to other members of the zodiac is cut. 

so what happens? the curse is broken. 

why? because shigure found out how to break it and he used tohru to do it. 

shigure loves akito unconditionally. if the sohmas take after their respective animals, then shigure does embody the dog in that he loves absolutely.

he has loved akito since she was a little girl. she can sleep with another man, and he will love her. she can abuse their relatives, and he will love her. but shigure will not share her. that’s, uh, as the kids would say, wack

oh akito slept with kureno. shigure despises the man and fucked akito’s abusive mother in revenge, but he still loves her. oh akito abuses their relatives. unfortunate, but he still loves her. no, breaking the curse helps everyone, but it wasn’t for them. it was for shigure’s happy ending. everyone else is just a piece in a game that has akito as the prize, and he won. 

my god is shigure’s devotion terrifying

all of this screams unhealthy relationship, but no, they work. they fit together. shigure has never been afraid of akito or pitied her. he loves her. akito knows she can’t control shigure, that he schemes and plots, and she loves him. 

it’s been a decade since i first read fruits basket and i still can’t think of many ships that are as messed up as shigure/akito. 

cersei and jaime lannister from asoiaf and hannibal lector and will graham, maybe. the fact that shigure/akito are in the same league as a cannibalistic serial killer and incestuous twins says something. and yet, they have the happiest ending and healthiest relationship of the lot.

shigure and akito are hades and persephone with teeth, they are a brothers grimm fairytale. their relationship plays out next to a bunch of kids falling in love and trying to live their best lives. of course i love them best 

—

thank you so much for this ask!! i don’t get a chance to talk a lot about my love for this ship, or this series, so i really appreciate the opportunity.