#CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP TIME TO CHEW UP MY LITTLE QUOTE UNQUOTE JOKES

[muirmarie]

something about the fact that half my writing battle involves the fact that I've been trying very, very hard to chew up and swallow any/all whine-y/joke-y complaints about writing that allow myself an escape hatch. like I'll find myself realizing I'm really fighting myself re: sitting down and making myself write, and that what i WANT to do is to just kind of shrug it off with a wink and a joke, and like.

instead i have to be really ruthless about not giving myself that escape hatch??? because i don't know why, but MAKING that joke-y complaint FEELS like an escape hatch to me?

like i think the instinct is to blow off a little steam that way and then get some commiserations and thereby giving myself that allowance?

but if i delete it and don't allow myself to post it then i'm still just. SITTING there with it. Sitting there with the not-having-written.

like I have to be very fierce and CONSCIOUS about not letting myself blow off steam re: writing too often, at least for right now, because i NEED that steam lmaooo

i am a little train who wants to complain my engine room is getting too hot, but i do in fact need the heat if i'm going to go anywhere