#CC needs to hand her rights over because this could’ve been better

[im-out-of-it]

“Do you remember what you said in the sanctuary? That we should pretend that nothing happened, and Paris was the first time we met?”

Thomas nodded. His stomach had feel as if it had been tied in knots of ice.

“We cannot pretend forever,” said Alastair. “Eventually the truth must be faced. All your friends hate me, Thomas, and with good reason.”

“No apology will make up for what I’ve done in the past,” Alastair continued. “And to make you choose between me and your friends only make it worse. So I will make the choice. Go back to the library. They’re waiting for you.”

“You followed me on patrol because you were worried about me,” said thomas. “You do realize- because you were there- that might have been why belial didn’t attack me? He always went after shadowhunters who were alone. But you were with me, even if I didn’t know it.”

“That’s just guesswork.” A vein pulsed in Alastair’s throat. “Tom, you patrolled at night because you like things that are dangerous and unhealthy for you. I won’t be one of those things.”

He began to turn away. Thomas reached out to catch at him, and the feel of Alastair’s shoulder under his feelings almost undid him. He had touched him, like this, in the sanctuary: had rested his hands on Alastair’s shoulders, letting alastair bear up his weight as they kissed.

“Don’t,” Alastair said, not looking at him. “It isn’t possible. It won’t ever be.”

I love that Alastair takes ownership and admits that his past actions were wrong. my man is always growing and we love him for that

as much as I want to support Alastair trying not to hurt Thomas, does he have any right making this decision for Thomas? I get why he doesn’t want to hurt Thomas or instantly get together. but in fairness, they already had their time apart. that’s why I think from the time of the two books: where they hardly talk, and then the big fight isn’t developed well. this would have been more serious if it were more (don’t have to date in secret but bloody fuck, have them communicate more)

I agree with needing time, developing their characters more, growing, realizing more things but I don’t agree with how it’s done. constantly in chain of thorns Alastair says how it’s not possible for them and how the merry thieves would all hate Thomas for it. but he never once asks Thomas what he wants. he just decides for Thomas. it doesn’t seem very Alastair like for me. he doesn’t seem the type to wish a decision over another being and having that control. well I mean, he did try to protect Cordelia so maybe it is a bit Alastair like but it still doesn’t feel in character for him

I just keep reading over this section and thinking about chain of thorns and I can’t help feeling that Alastair is making these demands. he kissed Thomas in the sanctuary, spent all that time with Charles instead, and is almost giving Thomas mixed signals in chain of thorns. he does tell Thomas it’s impossible for them but I don’t remember Alastair saying if they could be friends or if they were friends

and he talks about Tehran and even Thomas thinks “why does he act this way if he’s just leaving? does he wish for me to see more of him” or something close to that. Thomas is very confused and he’s not getting super concrete proof from Alastair

my problem isn’t with Alastair here, more with how it’s developed. I can tell he respects and admires Thomas very much and it doesn’t seem in character to basically say hey we can never be together I will make this decision for us so don’t try to ever have a relationship with me but I will be around you and we will lightly flirt and kiss but I will still make this decision for this

IM SORRY BUT THAT IS NOT ALASTAIR I REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT

Thomas has every right and a say if he wants to be with Alastair. it’s kind of like it’s taken away from him????? or maybe I’m reading too much into this????

as I said before, I think they had a lot of growing to do before they got together but I would have had them have a more close relationship before Thomas found out about the academy days. because it’s like they don’t even get a chance at being close until the last half of chain of thorns. I get if CC wanted it to show that Alastair has some growth and doesn’t want to ruin Thomas. he also feels as if he isn’t enough at times and what he would hate the most is hurting Thomas in any way

and maybe I’m just assuming things but I feel what she was going for was hardly communicate and then BAM HEY THOMAS AND ALASTAIR ARE FRIENDS?????? WOW WHO KNEW BECAUSE I CERTAINLY DIDNT FEATURE THEM MUCH AND THOUGHT SMALL HINTS WOULD BE BETTER

I like subtlety but not in this way

I don’t know, maybe I’m just rambling nonsense but it’s always put me off when I get to that section. don’t get me wrong, thomastair is fantastic and I love them but I don’t like how it’s worded or developed. there was so much work that needed to be done not only as a couple, but as two separate people. Alastair needed his pov, Thomas needed more development and not having everything be about James

I just feel like it could have been written better

[blue-m-d]

Thank You

HR Wells x reader

A/N: I was listening to Thank You by Pentatonix as I thought about this. And let me tell you I cried writing this. so if you read while listening to the song it makes the feels.. lets just say that I needed some tissues

***

It was almost seven and just like last four christmas eve’s, you were running late to pick up the gift and the special cup of coffee. Even if people thought it was kind of crazy of you to keep doing that after everything that happened. You didn’t care what those people thought. Because what brought you and him the most joy, was when you both started rambling throughout those years about the christmas presents and decorations. Talking about the perfect gifts for everyone, specially for each other… that was yours and HR’s way of keeping the joy and happiness to the team.

And it was what brought you both closer to each other, talking about starting the tradition together and keep it going within your children and grandchildren. All surrounded by Cisco’s, Caitlin’s, Wally’s, Joe’s and Iris and Barry’s children. Together as the big family you already were, but the one that you were going to become too.

You finally got to the shop to pick up “the gift”. You received a “Merry Christmas” from Mr. And Mrs. Denton, and old married couple you and HR met four years ago. You always bought everyones present from that shop so you knew each other, and you had come to care for them as if they were your own grandparents. In their shop you could find all handmade and unique stuff so it was perfect for each and every time you wanted something special to gift to your loved ones. You gave the old married couple a thank you and left the shop, not before giving them a present and a small smile. As you were going towards CC Jitters to buy the cups of coffee, you realized that there was a small note on a card that was attached to the gift.

“Tell him we wish you both a very warm and happy christmas. And that we are giving you all the care he told us he would’ve liked his parents could’ve given to you. Hope this photo brings back that joy and happy smile it brought to us that day. Merry Christmas, Y/N”.

It was indeed a photo the old couple had taking from you and HR the first time you went to their shop to start the Christmas tradition. You could clearly remember that day, and also the wall that kept you several minutes in awe as you watched all those smiles together. That day you and HR bought almost one of everything the old couple had inside their shop. And seeing those big smiles you stole from each other whenever you caught the perfect present for one of your love ones. And the way you and HR chatted about what gift would be better to whom… It was hard for the old couple to not smile at each other. Knowing quite well how that felt as they themselves did the same thing the first year of their marriage when they were almost as young as you and HR were.

When the old couple asked you both if they could take a photo of you to hang in their “happy married couple’s wall” you both couldn’t stop the blushing and as flustered as you were when you took a glance at HR’s red cheeks and big smile, you told them you were not married. You had started dating just some months before that christmas. The couple was a bit surprised to hear that, but not at all when they heard HR tell to himself “…yet.”. You didn’t hear that word because you were focused looking through your bag to pay for the last gift. It was for HR, so it was already wrapped so he wouln’t see what is was as he waited beside you.

To try and lift the awkwardness of the moment, HR made the inside joke about a small Wells with your eyes and graciousness, and you followed with “the twins will have your eyes and wonderful hair”. You both laughed and stared at each other with big happy smiles. What you both didn’t realize was that the other wanted that future for themselves with the other. Even if in both your minds you thought that it was too soon to talk about it.

That memory made you shed some tears, because that was the exact smile and moment the photo was taken.

You were almost at the door of CC Jitters where Barry, Iris, and Caitlin were waiting for you. So you tried to erase any trace of tears out of your face so they wouldn’t worry. When they saw you they each gave you a big hug. You hugged back and as you picked up the coffee cups they told you that the twins were with Joe, Cecile and baby Jenna at the West house. You said goodbye as you promised to be at the West-Allen loft as soon as possible.

You went to pick up the twins to take the present you three together.

Joe opened the door and as you greeted him, you saw the twins making funny faces to baby Jenna making her laugh. “They truly are amazing, like big brothers to baby Jenna” said Joe with a smile that showed how proud and happy he felt. “Yes, they are. A gift from heaven…”. Joe noticed the note in your voice, and gave you a small smile as he called the boys. You helped them put their scarfs, mittens and their overcoat on so you could get going.

“Can we get four Big Belly Burgers?” they asked as you entered the drivers seat after securing them with the seatbelts. You looked back to those baby blues that were shining with hope. They bring back that warmth you feel whenever you think about his eyes. “Are you going to share your fries like last year, honey?”. “Yes, ma’am.” “Well then we are going to Big Belly Burger to get them.”

They started chatting cheerfully with each other after that. They always get hungry when you start towards the road. Usually when you do get Big Belly Burger, they cannot wait to get home and start eating the food before you even get near the house. But just as last year, their excitement and joy to tell him a lot of things, kept them from eating before getting to the end of your small ride.

Just as you pull over, the memories rush back at you, and you curse this past year for not being able to come as often as you always did. Most of the special occations in which you came here, your throat closed up so it didn’t let you tell him a lot. But you still stayed there wanting his company.

The boys saw you get a bit sad, and they looked at each other remembering what they agreed some weeks ago. As you three walked towards the place, each one of you with something to share. You arrived, and greeted him with a Merry Christmas. You gave him his cup of coffee, one of the boys the present, and the other distributed the food to the four of you.

“Ma’am, can you sing the song from that band we heard on the radio the past month?” one of them asked you. As you remembered the song they were talking about, your eyes filled with tears, but you tried to calm yourself and started singing.

“Oh, Lord, it’s been a year. With little joys and little fears. It’s finally here, Christmas day. My love, I need some hope… A little faith, a hand to hold”

As you sang that last phrase, your boys took your hands in their little ones. You fought back the tears as you realized it. Smiling to them, you continued singing.

“It’s awfully cold, Christmas day. Watch the snow fall down like me sometimes.”

You look at his drumsticks. “But you pick me up, and then pick me up again.

Like winter leaves I can’t survive, without your light.” Your boys look up at you as you watch him all over their faces. That same smile and those same beautiful baby blue eyes.

“Thank you for your smile, it’s warmer than the fire.” Your boys smile bright back at you.

”Your gentle laughter is sweeter than a choir. I’ll never know, the right words to choose. So all i can say… Is thank you” HR…

*flashback*

That whole year was all about your plans together. But when you gave him the news… he fell silent. So you started to worry that maybe that wasn’t what he wanted. But then that big smile that was so characteristic of him, appeared on his face. He picked you up with so much joy, spinning you both in circles making you smile just as wide as him. But his next words weren’t the ones you had expected.

He put you down on your feet, and went to his fedora looking for something. “I first thought about asking you as soon as I got it in my hands, that was last week. But then I thought it was too soon so I thought about waiting till christmas. But this news…make me realize that I should’ve followed my first thought. So…” he turned around to face you after he found what he was looking for, but without letting you see it yet. “Ma’am,” he looked at your eyes, and got down on one knee. “Miss Y/N  Y/L/N, would you do me the honour of making me your husband?”

*end of flashback*

“We fell into the snow, and talked about growing old.” That Christmas together was all about your plans together, and just like the song… growing old, together as a family. You got married, bought a house together, your baby was on their way… until that May.

Tears started streaming down you cheeks.

“So here’s to a hundred more Christmas days. This house will be our home, and my heart will be your own. As the candles glow, Christmas day.”

At first you got a bit startled as your boys started singing the next parts with you. “Watch the snow fall down like you sometimes. But I’ll pick you up and then pick you up again. Like our winter tree on Christmas night, it needs some light.”

You hugged them, as you and your boys kept singing to him. “Thank you, for your smile. It’s warmer than the fire. Your gentle laughter is sweeter than a choir. I’ll never know the right words to choose. So all I can say, is thank you…thank you.”

You left his coffee and his Big Belly Burger and fries beside his drumsticks. You couldn’t even get a second bite of yours, but your boys ate theirs completely. Before you went back to the car you said your ‘see you soon’ and the ‘talk to you soon, dad’ from your boys.

As you entered the West-Allen loft, you realized you three were the last ones to arrive. Your big family was already chit chatting with some eggnog in hand. Your boys went directly to uncle Barry and Cisco. Barry distracted them with some Flash and Vibe toys, just as Cisco got behind them so him and Barry could start the tickle war. You couldn’t help but laugh as you watched your boys try to escape the tickling and fail while laughing uncontrollably. Their baby blue eyes shining with tears of joy from all that tickling. You can almost hear him laughing beside you looking at the same spot as you were. So happy, just like you.

“Spent all this time hanging lights, but I’m just blinded by your eyes. I look outside, the ground is white, but you and I should probably stay inside.”

It was definitely a white Christmas, just like HR liked them. You imagined a snowball fight as the team used to have, but with him and your boys. Those three pair of blue eyes blinding you with their happiness as they decided to make you join them by throwing snowballs at you. Then warming up near the fire with some hot cocoa and marshmellows in hand.

Their smiles, and laughter bringing you warmth, joy, and a pinch of sadness. You knew that daydream would not become true. At least not completely as you imagined it. But having your big family with you, was all you could ask for from that day forward.

You were happy you had them. All of them. And your boys were the reminder of how much HR loved you, and how much you loved him back. He was your angel, and you thanked the gods that made both your lives cross each other.

“Thank you, for your smile. It’s warmer than the fire. Your gentle laughter is sweeter than a choir. I can believe, this year you’ve got me through.

The least I can do… Is thank you.”

You looked outside the window and into that star he always said he liked to watch with his mother, and just…

“I love you, HR. We three do. With all our hearts.”

.

.

*****

@austarus I’m not too confident on myself to ask you to read this, but I would like to know your opinnion about it. I wrote it yesterday, and is my first short fic.  first reader insert too. nevermind, it my first finished fic, period.🤦🏻‍♂️ I have something some could call drafts, but they are just random ideas that i never finish, so this is the first i could kinda give it an end.😅

 If you like it, it’s kind of a present to you.😳😅

I’ve read most of the ones you’ve made about the Wells boys. I’m pretty sure that there’s some i’ve missed🤔, but I’m trying to get back on track on them😋. And all of them have changed my days, and given me some hope, joy, and also brought some daydreaming back🤩👌.

So if you like it it’s kind of a “thank you” for that.

if you don’t... well, I like getting feedback, specially from the ones I admire. It makes me want to get better with full energy c:

[redrobinhoods]

Age of Heroes | Chapter 6, Recovery/Retaliation

AO3 Link | 3550 words (approx) | Prologue, Chapter 5, Chapter 7

Chapter Summary: Obi-Wan makes preparations to depart Mandalore as Plo Koon engages General Grievous. Meanwhile, Ahsoka and Rex prepare for the war to end.

It is such a quiet thing, to fall. But far more terrible is to admit it." – Kreia, KOTOR II

“I understand your mission was a success.”

“Yes, I have Maul in custody.” Obi-Wan answered Master Windu. “The 212th and I are escorting him to Coruscant. We will be there within the next few hours, the last of my troops are pulling out now.” He looked around at those present; Mace Windu, Ki-Adi Mundi, Aayla Secura, and Master Yoda. “I was hoping that I could speak with Anakin, is he there?”

“I sent him to inform the Chancellor that General Grievous has indeed been located on Utapau.” Responded Windu. “Commander Wolffe has just reported that they have engaged Grievous.”

“Then the war could be over soon.” Obi-Wan mused.

“That depends on the Chancellor.”

“Indeed. Well, like I said, I will be back in a matter of hours. I am sure that at that time the Council will be able to discuss the best way to go about the removal of the Chancellor from office, if that is necessary. He may yet surprise us.”

“I can only hope that is so. We shall see you soon.” 

Obi-Wan stayed still until all the holograms had faded. Surely the Chancellor would not prolong the war? Even in his bid for power, could he really ignore the pleas of his people? Obi-Wan didn’t want to know the answer to that question.

He stepped out of his room and found himself gravitating towards the medical bay. He was met at the door by one of the clone medics assisting them. Obi-Wan had only known him a short time, and yet the man always knew what, or who, he was there to talk to him about. “The commander will be fine, sir. Everything will heal, he just needs rest and fluids.”

“Did they torture him?” Obi-Wan looked back to the end of the medbay, where Cody was warily watching the medical droid attempt to insert an IV.

“I believe so, but nothing that would leave a physical mark. We found traces of ozone on his skin, which leads me to conclude that he was shocked. Despite that, he’s in fairly good spirits.”

Obi-Wan couldn’t help a wry smile as in-good-spirits-Cody began to tell off the medical droid for being unable to find a vein. ‘I’ll stick the bloody thing in myself if you don’t stop prodding! Try this one.’

“Oh, evidently.” Obi-Wan made his way over to his commander, careful not to bump the medical droid as it prepared the second of two bags of fluid.

“How goes the war, General?” Cody smiled painfully up at him.

“Master Plo and Commander Wolffe have just engaged Grievous on Utapau. And it’s my understanding that Captain Rex is dying to speak to you.”

Cody closed his eyes as the droid bent back down over his arm and attempted a laugh. “I’ll call him later. This di’kut won’t stop stabbing me.”

“If CC-2224 would cooperate this procedure would be done in twenty-nine minutes.” The medical droid snapped back.

Obi-Wan gave the medical droid a sorry smile as he reached down to push Cody’s hair back from his forehead. It was growing long after the past few weeks on the frontlines and only added to Cody’s disheveled appearance. “Did Maul hurt you?”

“Just an electroprod. I can take it.”

“Cody.” Obi-Wan continued to run his fingers through Cody’s hair when he saw how the commander leaned ever so slightly into the gesture, though he knew that the man would fervently deny it later.

Cody opened his eyes again, running them quickly over Obi-Wan’s face before returning to his eyes. “His master has a plan; he wouldn’t stop talking about this plan.”

“What plan? Cody, what plan?”

“He wouldn’t say. Just that we clones are part of it. Part of the plan.” Cody raised his free arm to his head. “I’m sorry, General, I-.”

“It’s okay, Cody. You’re safe here. We’ll be back on Coruscant soon and we can go over this with the Council.”

“Please do not bother my patient any further.” The medical droid requested, pushing Obi-Wan away with a mechanical arm. “He is in capable hands.” Obi-Wan looked down at Cody, who gave him a terse nod of permission. Obi-Wan untangled himself from the medical droid and started off to the bridge, taking one look back to see Cody scolding the droid once more.

---

Plo Koon rushed after Grievous’ wheel bike astride the giant varactyl given to him by the locals. At the sight of the descending 104th, Grievous had rushed off from their initial confrontation with one of his MagnaGuard’s staffs, leaving behind his own lightsabers. If this was all the military might that the Separatists had left, a coward who ran at the mere prospect of defeat, Plo had the feeling that Anakin Skywalker’s vision may have been correct. Grievous wouldn’t get away this time.

Despite having only had the varactyl for a few minutes, Plo was becoming quite fond of it. It wove through Pau City in pursuit of the wheel bike with a will that matched his own. In a way, it reminded him of the clones; chosen for a battle for which it had no personal stake but it’s life, and, perhaps, relative living conditions. Perhaps later he could introduce it to Commander Wolffe. Now that would be entertaining.

They were gaining on Grievous now. Plo slashed at the back of the wheel bike with his lightsaber but was too far away to produce a slash of the size necessary to stop Grievous’ descent. With a grateful pat on the neck of his varactyl, Plo threw himself at the occupant of the wheel bike. Grievous snarled, attempting to strike him with the electrostaff. Plo blocked the attack with ease, pushing the staff to the side and taking hold of its handle with his free hand. Having better leverage than the seated Grievous, he pushed the staff into the rapidly spinning wheel and leapt clear. When his tumbling had halted, he found himself face to face with Grievous on a suspended landing platform.

“Give up, General.” Plo cautioned as he rose to his feet. “You will not be able to escape our forces.”

“Jedi scum.” Grievous hacked, reclaiming the electrostaff from the ground. Well, he had tried to reason with him. Plo stepped forward to meet the advancing staff with his lightsaber, only to be surprised when Grievous pulled out a pistol. He hadn’t noticed that. He pulled his lightsaber back to block the shot, successfully knocking the pistol out of Grievous’ hand but losing his own lightsaber to a swipe from the electrostaff in the process. Face to face with Grievous and with no other weapon, he dove closer to the cyborg and tugged open the general’s chest cavity, revealing his organic organs.

Grievous dropped the electrostaff and grabbed Plo Koon instead, throwing him first into his ship, then grabbing him again and flinging him towards the edge of the platform. Plo fought for a grip as he slid, finally finding one in the platform’s edge. His body swung over the sinkhole for a moment before he brought it to a still. He looked up to find Grievous advancing upon him, Plo’s lightsaber held in one of his mechanical hands.

“Your forces are no match for me.” Grievous said as he raised the lightsaber above his head.

Plo prepared himself to swing back onto the platform, he’d only have one chance to stop Grievous now.

A shot rang out.

Grievous stumbled backwards, the lightsaber falling from his hands as his organic internals burst into flames. Plo looked up to where the shot had come from to see Wolffe slowly descending to the platform, aided by his jetpack.

“Need a hand, General?” Wolffe crouched in front of Plo, offering him his hand.

“Thank you, Wolffe.” Plo accepted the outstretched hand of his commander and was hoisted to his feet on the platform. Once away from the precarious edge, he walked over to the middle of the platform to look down on the charred metal that had been General Grievous. He knelt down by the remains, rising again moments later with his lightsaber. “Impeccable timing, as always.” He said as he turned back to Wolffe, who had taken his helmet off to take in the sight.

“Just doing my job, sir.”

“And you have never let me down.”

Wolffe didn’t even try to hide the smile spreading across his lips. For a moment, everything was right in the galaxy.

---

Ahsoka found Rex in the first place she looked, the barracks briefing room.

“General Grievous has been engaged on Utapau.” She announced as she walked in, giving them no time to react with formalities.

“Maul’s been captured.” Jesse gestured to the briefing that he and the captain had been looking over. “The 212th is preparing to depart Mandalore and bring him back to Coruscant.”

“Commander Cody?” Ahsoka looked to Rex.

“Still kicking.” Rex grinned. “If it weren’t for Obi-Wan, I think he’d be on Utapau with the 104th right now.”

“The poor bastard.” Jesse shook his head, though his lips were twitching to form a smile. “Can’t even give Grievous a parting punch into the afterlife.”

Ahsoka laughed, joining her men at the briefing table. Dooku, Grievous, Maul, now for Sidious. Sidious, who had orchestrated the Clone Wars if Count Dooku was to be believed. She wondered how much carnage would have never occurred if it weren’t for his influence. She wondered how much different her life could’ve been.

“Ahsoka.” She jolted up to the sound of her name. She must’ve been lost in thought because she hadn’t noticed Jesse leave the room. “Something on your mind?”

She bit her lip, then wondered why she would hide anything from Rex. “As a Jedi, we were trained to be keepers of the peace, not soldiers. But all I’ve been is a soldier. I don’t know if I can be anything else.”

She watched with a bemused smile as Rex’s expression faltered for a moment. “Well, I’ve known no other way. Gives us clones all a mixed feeling about the war. Many people wish it never happened. But without it, we clones wouldn’t exist.”

“Then perhaps some good has come from all of this. The Republic couldn’t have asked for better soldiers, nor I a better friend.” She stepped forward and placed her arm on Rex’s shoulder. She was nearly as tall as he was now, counting her montrals. A far cry from the times she had once only stood as tall his elbow. He placed his hand over hers for a few moments then they both let their hands fall away as they turned back to the briefing table, alerted by a new message running across the hologram.

“General Grievous has been destroyed. They did it.” Rex said incredulously.

“So, what do we do now?” Ahsoka asked after a few moments of stunned silence.

“Wait for General Skywalker to return, I suppose. Not much else we can do.”

“No.” She mused. Finally, Rex turned off the briefing table and she followed him into the hallway. “I guess this is it. I didn’t expect it to be so unclimactic.”

“I’m sure it was much more interesting on Utapau. We’re not going to see any action here on Coruscant.” Rex’s comm beeped and he looked down to read the message. “Cody’s going to comm me in a few minutes. You’re welcome to drop in if you like.”

“I was just about to shower.” She stopped by the doorway to her room. “Besides, I’m sure we’ll all be seeing a lot of each other in the next few days.”

“Of course. I’ll see you later, Ahsoka.”

She waved goodbye as she stepped into her quarters to grab a towel. When she came back out Rex was gone and the hallways were relatively empty as she made her way to the showers.

‘Hot water will dry your skin out, you know.’  She could hear Fives’ voice in her head. But he wasn’t here anymore, so she turned the tap to the extreme and stood with her face under the water. The heat was nearly intolerable, but she welcomed the sensation. It took her mind off the war as it eased the deep aches in her bones. She could hear some of the other shower heads running but paid them no mind. The hesitations she’d once had about sharing the barracks shower had been quelled when she remembered that these were the same men that she showered with for the past three years. Any embarrassment at sharing a shower with a member of the opposite sex was long gone from the moment she’d been asked to please pass the nice soap. If she’d reached into the Force right now, she would’ve found that they barely noticed her presence. In the GAR everyone got so little privacy that they had mastered finding it anywhere they could. That was why she was here in the first place, to give Rex and Cody some privacy. She knew that Cody may not want to discuss the events of the past few days with her present.

Over the next few minutes, the other taps shut off one by one until she was left alone. It must be nearly dinnertime. There were very few reasons that the clones would not take advantage of the unrationed water on Coruscant. She prodded out into the barracks with the Force. The energy coming from the men was cheerful and relaxed, but there was something stirring underneath that she focused in on. Sterling. Vaughn. Ridge. They had closed themselves off from their brothers, and she could feel their discomfort and anticipation. They weren’t the only ones. She could feel more faint signatures of anxiety in the barracks. If she’d continued to look out, she would have found it in many of the battalions on Coruscant. But instead she focused back into their hall, reaching out to Rex. The unease was there too. And growing. She needed to talk to him.

She’d just reached out to the shower controls when a burst of pain erupted in her head and she fell to her knees onto the tile floor.

“You must choose.” The Chancellor? Why would she hear the Chancellor? He sounded like he was in pain.

“Don’t listen to him, Anakin!” And Master Windu.

“It’s not the Jedi way. He must live.” Master Windu was attacking the Chancellor.

“He’s too dangerous to be left alive.”

                                                        “Please don’t.”

                                                                                 “I need him!”

And the screaming. Ahsoka pressed her hands into her forehead as if that would dampen the sound. The water that had been a comfort to her stung her skin as if it was electrified.

“What have I done?”

“Anakin.”

---

Rex lowered himself onto his bed with a sigh, leaning back against the cold wall. He ran his fingers over the ridges of the holocomm in his hand, waiting for it to chime. He’d never been more grateful for privacy than now. On deployment, he slept in the same room as his men; the Jedi officers were the only ones to have their own private quarters onboard the cruisers. Perhaps if he was on a ship, he’d be taking the call in the officer’s lounge, where he could request a few minutes of solitude. Of course, if he was on a ship the call would be interrupted three minutes in by an emergency. On Coruscant, if there was an emergency Commander Fox would take care of it long before any request for Rex’s help was made. Unless, of course, there was another attack.

The comm chimed, and he answered before the first tone had faded. “Cody.”

“Rex.” The small blue projection of Cody answered. He was propped up against two pillows and Rex could see what appeared to be a medical droid gathering up instruments flickering in and out of the edge of the frame. Rex took note of the series of bruises down Cody’s arm that he recognized from his own experience with the Republic medical droids. Kix would’ve never left so many marks, but Kix wasn’t here anymore.

“You look like hell. How are you feeling?”

“Like hell.” Cody scoffed.

“Did he hurt you?”

“Just an electroprod-”

“Cody.”

“-And the lightsaber wound, but that’s just a scratch. Didn’t even hit the bone.”

Rex took in a frustrated breath. “Cody, he tortured you?”

“I’m fine, Rex. We were made to withstand almost anything. I just need to drink more fluids for a few rotations. That’ll probably stop the headache.”

Rex thought back to Wolffe and his headache. And yet, nothing had happened. They had successfully taken down Grievous and presumably his army. Perhaps they were all becoming susceptible to the changes in weather in their ‘old age’. Besides, Cody had been held by Maul for nearly two days, a headache was squarely in the realm of possibility for aftereffects. “If you so much as sway getting off that ship, I will personally see to it that you are sedated.”

Cody smiled and shook his head. Rex realized how tired the commander looked. “Honestly, Rex. I don’t think I’m going to make it out of this one.”

Rex’s breath caught in his throat as he tried to think of a response.

“I know that everything is fine, and we’ll be back on Coruscanti duracrete in a matter of hours, but I can’t shake this feeling.”

“What feeling?” Rex prodded.

“Like, I’m standing on the edge of a void. And I know that if I fall, I will never be able to get back.”

“It’s just Maul.” Rex had heard of how the dark side of the Force could cause terror in a being. It had to be him. Wolffe was fine, the war was as good as over, everything was going to be okay.

“Maybe.” Cody didn’t sound convinced. “I just need to get back to work.”

“You need to rest, Cody.” As if the commander would ever sit back and let others do his job for him.

“I have rested. Can you imagine this legion without me? It would be chaos.”

Rex laughed. Not matter how bad things seemed, Cody could always bring a smile to his lips. And he had a point. “Remember- you sway, we sedate. I’d hate for you to miss out on the celebration. I know you love the dress greys.”

“Mhm. They really bring out the bags under my eyes. Maybe after the formal dinner we could go get absolutely pissed at Seventy-Nine’s. You, me, Wolffe, Echo, Ahsoka, whoever else wants to join us.”

“Commander Tano is seventeen, Cody. That’s underage.” Though she’d soon be eighteen and drinking age in most systems, Rex still thought of her as the same brash fourteen-year-old he had met on Christophsis when it came to anything but combat.

“Four years older than we are. You can’t protect her forever, Rex. If she can fight in a war and die for the Republic, she can have a drink. Though, with the amount you lot drink, she may swear alcohol off entirely.”

“I’ll make sure Jesse is there if that’s our goal.”

Cody grinned and looked around the medical bay before turning back to Rex conspiratorially. “Do you really think we’re going to win?”

“General Skywalker thinks so. Why not?” Rex couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face. “Count Dooku is dead, General Grievous is dead, you’ve captured Maul. We may have just won the Clone Wars.” As soon as he had said it Rex knew that he was wrong. Fear roared up in his gut and he could’ve sworn he’d seen the flashing of lightsabers behind his eyelids when he blinked.

In that moment, Rex considered telling Cody what Fives had said about the inhibitor chips. He’d thought about it, he’d thought about him, every day. But Fives was killed, General Tiplee was slain by Count Dooku, and Kix had gone missing. Rex was sure that he was next on the list, and he could have never put Cody in that position. Then the moment was over, and the door to his quarters was sliding open to reveal a half-armored Jesse.

“Captain Rex, General Skywalker is on his way back. He wants to see you, sir.”

“I’ll be there.” Rex turned back to Cody, who was scanning over another message on the holocomm.

“I’m needed on the bridge, Rex.”

“Then I suppose duty calls for both of us.” As it always would; whatever it takes.

“I suppose so. I’ll see you on the other side of the war.”

Rex felt a hint of dread still creeping over his shoulder. Surely, the war was over. The Separatists couldn’t continue their onslaught without their military leadership and the man who arranged the war was close to capture. Yet, General Plo was right. There was something he was missing.

He tried to shove the feeling off, taking in his friend’s features; the scar that traced along Cody’s temple, the bags under his eyes that had been there since Christophsis, the unruly curls that were beginning to frame his face. He should’ve noticed them earlier. The time for teasing would come later. But the feeling was still there, and he began to understand how it must feel to stand at the edge of the inescapable void.

“See you on the other side of the war. Take care of yourself, Cody.”

[benhardyisdaddy]

Royal Protection - Part 13

MASTERLIST 

(so this part doesn’t have ben himself in it, but the next chap will so be prepared!!! also this is what i imagine y/n’s bedroom looking like lmao) 

Word Count: 1,439

Watching Ben disappear from you was the worst heartbreak you had ever felt. You ignored the stinging of your knees digging into the harsh gravel - your heart stung much worse. You were gasping for air as you clutch at your chest, wishing the car would turn around and come back. Wish he would come back. Lucy was holding you close to her, trying to calm you down. Your head was throbbing from your sobs as your mother and father begin walking down the steps, both utterly confused. 

“Y/n!?” calls out your mother, thinking something was horribly wrong. 

Joe was ahead of them as he runs to you and falls to his knees in front of you. 

“Princess,” he whispers to you, but is interrupted when your name is called again. 

You find enough strength to stand up with the help of Joe. Your eyes were swollen and red - tears did not want to stop flowing. You know for a fact how miserable and pitiful you look, but you don’t care. Your mother and father freeze when they realize how stressed you really are. 

“How could you do that?” you whisper to them, your voice breaking. 

They look at each other and back to you. 

“I don’t understand,” starts your mother. “He was only your security. It’s nothing to cry over-” 

“He wasn’t just only my security, mother!” you scream. “He- He saved my life! If it weren't for him, I wouldn’t be here!” 

“If it weren’t for him,” yells your mother. “You wouldn’t have been in that whole mess to begin with! He failed his job and his trust with this family! If he hadn’t of-” 

“It was my fault!” you scream, causing everyone to go silent. 

You’re breathing hard as your mother takes a step back, shocked by what you had just said. 

“I’m the one who texted Claire when you specifically told me not to. I’m the one who told her where I was! I’m the one who answered the door when I knew I shouldn’t! It was my fault, not his! And now he’s gone and I…” 

You pause and look to the ground, your chin trembling. Lucy wraps her arm around yours. 

“And now I’ll never get to see him again.” you whisper. 

Your father watches you with a heavy heart and opened eyes. He realizes the look in yours, knowing right away what you were trying to tell them. 

“See him again? Why on earth would you want to see him again? He was your security-” 

“You’re in love with him.” says your father bluntly, not taking his eyes off of you. 

Your mother gasps loudly as you look up fast, shocked that he would say that. The two of you stare at each other as a faint smile falls on his lips, letting you know that it’s going to be okay. You smile to him as your mother begins talking once more. 

“Love!?” she shouts. “That’s absurd! You hardly know the man! How could you ever think that!?” she asks your father, almost disgusted. 

“Because it’s true, mother.” you tell her. “Daddy’s right. I love him.” you say, shrugging and smiling. “I never planned on it happening, but…” 

“It just did.” your father says, finishing your sentence. 

You smile big and nod your head.

“You do realize a princess does not marry out of royalty? That you and… him would never be together? It’s rules.” 

“It’s a dumb rule.” you say bluntly. “It’s a rule that decided who you can and can not love and I will be damned if I’m told that. By you, by daddy, by anybody.” 

Your mother watches you as her nostrils flare and her jaw tenses up. The look of rage fills her face.

“And I will be damned if you think you can ruin this family with a silly crush. We’ve fired Benjamin and that’s final. You’re home now and we’re grateful for what he’s done, but that’s exactly what this is - done.” 

“Darling,” says your father to her. 

“No!” shouts your mother. “You will find another nice man who has value and nobility.” 

You raise a brow and fight the urge to say a certain few things you have on your mind. 

“You mean money.” you murmur. 

Your mother looks to you fast, a surprised look on her face. 

“Excuse me?” she asks you, offended. 

“Value and nobility are code words for money. You want me to end up with a royal man who has a lot of money. That’s what this family is all about, right? Greed? You didn’t marry daddy because you love him,” you whisper. 

You slowly walk up to your mother until you’re in front of her. 

“You married him, because you knew what he would become one day. King. And kings are the richest and most powerful in all of the land. Aren’t they daddy?” you ask, still looking at your mother. 

Your father sighs and looks down at the ground, not wanting to get in between whatever this is.

“How dare you speak to your mother like that.” she hisses. 

“And how dare you treat me like an object. Like my only purpose in life is to be your little doll.” 

“I am first and foremost a Queen,” she whispers. 

“Well maybe stop acting like a Queen and more like my mother.” you spat. 

Her face falls as you quickly make your way around her and up the stairs. She’s still stood there, staring in front of her - in space. You turn back around as Lucy and Joe follow you. 

“And maybe stop treating me like a princess and more like your daughter.” 

Your mother lifts her head and her whole body is tensed up. You can’t believe you just stuck up for yourself to her like that. You were proud of speaking your mind, but your heart was none the better. You make your way back inside the castle as your mother turns to your father, she can’t look him in the eyes. 

“She is to be grounded to her room until I’ve said so.” she tells him. 

He slightly frowns and sighs as he nods his head. 

“Yes, dear.” 

He turns around to walk away, but not before your mother reaches out and gently grabs his arm. He turns to look at her. Her face is filled with sadness as she looks into his eyes. 

“You know I love you… Right?” she asks, worry in her voice. 

He sadly smiles and cups her face with his hand. 

“Then you should know exactly how she feels.” he whispers before walking away, leaving her by herself. 

***

You were in your room with Joe and Lucy sat on your bed. They’re watching you pace back and forth in front of them. 

“He didn’t even say goodbye!” you say loudly. 

“In his defense, your mother probably wouldn’t have let him.” says Lucy. 

You groan and run a hand through your hair. 

“He could’ve asked the car to stop! He saw how upset I was and he didn’t even do anything!” 

Lucy and Joe look at each other and sigh. 

“Maybe everything that happened between us was just something to pass the time. Maybe,” you say, your voice going sad as you stop walking. “Maybe it didn’t mean anything to him.” 

Lucy shakes her head fast and she stands up quickly. 

“No, no, no! You should’ve heard his voice when he called me the day you went missing. He was beside himself, y/n. That wasn’t the voice of a man who doesn’t care.” 

“Maybe it was just the voice of a man who didn’t want to lose him job.” you tell her. 

She shuts her eyes and exhales. 

“You need to believe me,” she says. “I heard it in his voice. I think he would’ve done anything to make sure you were okay.” 

You look to her and smile at the thought of Ben comforting you when you were finally released. He did look so happy when he finally was able to hug you. Maybe she was right. You’re in mid thought when Joe speaks up. 

“You need to see him.” 

You both look to him fast and narrow your eyes. 

“Yeah, right, Joe.” you say. “I’m on total lock down. Remember?”

Joe has a mischievous smile and a devious look on his face. 

“Yes, you’re on lock down,” he explains. “But Lucy’s not.” 

You shake your head as you and Lucy both look at each other, not understanding. 

“Y/n?” he asks looking to you. “How do you feel about wearing Lucy’s clothes?” 

And then it clicked.

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[southsideprince]

aftermath - sweet pea/reggie

[ a solo para - written by cari, permission given by cc to write reggie. set after the removal of FP from Jaz’s trailer. 1,671 words 8,897 characters. tw: swearing, tw: mention of death ] @mantlethemcgnificent​

How had the night become this? All he had wanted, was to get his boyfriend back and enjoy spending the evening without any drama or bullshit. But as always, it seemed to follow them, determined to get in the way of them. It was hard to imagine, not even six hours ago they were on the sofa, peppering each other with kisses and whispered promises and declarations of love. To when the stranger interrupted their making up time, to the fear and anxiety both experienced as he went back and forth between the Stranger. The threat to his life, on Reggie’s, on Grace, Fangs and Hanna had dampened the mood. But with their new rules, total transparency and the fact they did anything reckless and stupid together the night which should’ve been simple ended up with them doing drive-bys, dropping off packages for the Stranger. This time, Sweet Pea had his own list which still remained in his pocket. Another to pass to Betty when he could see her next.

At least when that was over, they could go back to his. Make up some more, reassure each other both were fine. It had been fine until the texts came. Then before he knew it, he had a body on his hands, a boyfriend in tow, and now a freezer at the Wyrm currently holding the deceased FP Jones. It felt surreal, ridiculous even that they ended up with this. But the only thing that had remained in his head as a constant, was Reggie. How the hell could this man put up with him? Or want to be with him after tonight? He hated dragging him into it, he should’ve just left him asleep, he could’ve kept this hidden or bent the truth slightly. He’d rather do that than remember seeing the look of disgust, of sadness, of discomfort, and then some on his face. But here the man was, curled up in his arms on the small bed in the backroom. He wanted to take it away, to make him forget. No amount of whiskey would help, even if he had made sure to get a few shots down his throat when they arrived.

Sweet Pea wouldn’t sleep, couldn’t sleep. His mind was pondering what to do, his plans having plans, trying to see every angle. He had to break it to Jughead, they couldn’t just dispose of a body without his input. It was a conversation he was dreading. How did one bring up the fact your dad is dead and currently chilling in a freezer. But just why did the Stranger land it on Jaz. What had she done? It just didn’t seem it would be done over a few texts and a delivery. 

“You think too loud.” he was snapped out of his internal thought process by the quiet voice of Reggie. They were led on the bed, his arms wrapped around him as Reggie rested on his chest. “I thought you were asleep....” he replied, hand gently beginning to rub his back. “How can I sleep after....that.” he sounded haunted, it was enough for the guilt he had been feeling to triple. This was a part of his world he never wanted Reggie to get involved with. 

“I’m so sorry.” but even sorry wouldn’t be enough. He could apologize a million times but nothing would erase this from their heads. Was this going to be a constant thing with them? Tragedy, horror, drama, trauma- like a cosmic force was constantly wanting to test them. Would they ever just get a simple, unproblematic relationship? “Will you tell him?” the feeling of movement on his chest, he looked down to see Reggie looking up at him, chocolate irises questioning. “Yes. Despite my own feelings towards FP- it's still his dad. I’ll figure it out.” he had tried, to the best of his ability to move FP with dignity. Even if he had removed his jacket, a personal judgment he had made. FP didn’t deserve to wear it. 

“I won’t mention you, as far as I’m concerned you weren’t there. It will remain serpent business.” he didn’t think it would go over at all well if he mentioned just how many people were involved in transporting his body. “If you’re telling him....then that makes it slightly better. I just feel awful for him.” Sweet Pea felt awful also. FP might not have been the greatest within the serpents, nor the best father but at least he’d been present in his life. It was sometimes hard for him to consider emotional ties to fathers, with his own out of his life and a disappointment he supposed for a long while that FP became the man he looked up to. Who he based himself on. Only for it to become apparent he wasn’t the role model he wanted nor needed. But Jughead had always been different with his dad. “Same.” 

They fell into silence once more, Sweet Pea continuously running his hand up and down his back in a soothing manner. His other hand fell into Reggie’s hair, fingertips gently running through the strands. Until he felt fingers catch his wrist, stilling the motion. “What is that?” Sweet Pea looked down to find Reggie’s gaze on his arm. “What’s what?” More movement, Reggie sat up some more, finger tracing the picture on the inside of his wrist. “That.”

Oh. In the mess of the entire night, it had slipped from his mind completely. He focused on the tattoo which adorned the inside of his wrist. A football, entwined with a snake and two sets of numbers. “Ah...” he felt embarrassment and worry seep in as he watched Reggie’s continuous gaze on it. “I didn’t want to show it yet- if it's too much I’m sorry but I just wanted to show you how much I’m in for us. For this relationship. I thought, if you could see how serious I was, it would help in us getting back together properly. I wanted to surprise you. It’s weird isn’t it? Too much? Fuck.” he made to sit himself up further, pulling himself away from Reggie in an attempt to hide the embarrassment. 

“No- it’s-” a hand came out to grab his arm, stopping him from getting up completely. “It’s just a lot. That’s pretty fucking permanent, Pea.” it was permanent, it was a bold move to make. But Sweet Pea was, as always, a romantic. “Maybe that’s because I want us to be a permanent thing- look, I know I put the brakes on us. But I needed to figure out everything properly, and I came to the decision that you’re it for me. Okay?” he turned to look at him, eyes boring into his intensely. 

“I’ve been through this before, being in love and after that ended, I swore I wouldn’t ever go through it again. But then you came along and all this happened and I guess I just wanted to do something to not only reassure you but show you that you are now and forever the love of my life. And if this ends badly, I don’t want to regret it. I’ve never had a lover tattooed on me in any sense, but you’re the first and the last and if this ever is over, it will be my last everything. You could’ve walked away tonight, you didn’t have to stick by me but you did and I love you so much for doing so. I guess, I just love you. And I’m hoping, fate allowing, that I get to spend the rest of my life with you. Because I want too.” his words were earnest, his tone vulnerable. 

He just laid it all out, knowing others would think him crazy or ludicrous for saying and thinking such things at the age they were. High school relationships never did have a good rep for lasting. He was waiting for Reggie to say something, or do something, anything really to stop his heart from racing out his chest or the twisting feeling in his gut stop.

He was soon met with a dopey, besotted grin from Reggie enough to make him think it was a good thing and before he could say anything else, lips were upon his in a loving, passionate kiss which had him sighing with relief and pleasure as his arms wrapped around him to pull him close. “I love it.” the words sounded god-like against their lips. “I love you.” his heart soared at the affirmation, enough to know that despite what had happened that evening, that they were going to be okay. He decided, then and there, that this was the man he’d spend the rest of his life with. It was far off in the distance, but Sweet Pea knew that Reggie was it for him and when the timing and moment were right, he’d make that next step towards having him forever.

“I love you too.” he whispered, barely a breath as he captured his lips once more quickly. “And my offer still stands...” he added, pulling away slightly as his hands ran up and down his sides. “Of taking you away from here. If you want to. We can go, wherever we want.” his tone was sincere, his meaning truthful. “I’d like that.” and with that, lips met once more in a bruising, amorous kiss as both led back onto the bed.

For the rest of the night, contented in the fact if they’d survived this they could survive anything both gave in to each other over and over, each kiss, affirmation, touch, groan, sigh and movement made was nothing but love and a promise between them. It wasn’t until the early hours of daybreak, were both finally collapsed from exhaustion of the events which had occurred since the early evening before and as sleep caught them both, wrapped in each other it was almost easy to forget just what had happened. For now, it was just another hurdle jumped.

[the--blackdahlia]

Too Young to Fall in Love Chapter 26 (Dirt!Nikki x Reader)

Title: Too Young to Fall in Love 26

Summary: Nikki Sixx was a hard partying musician on the strip. He never expected to fall in love with anyone, until a girl knocked on his dressing room door looking for a ride home and took his breath away. Just like everything else Nikki did; the drugs, the money, the music; Nikki went hard with love. (Y/n) Bass never expected the bassist of Motley Crue to be the one to shake her calm and calculated life up. She had a plan. Graduate school, become an epic producer, and watch from behind the scenes as her brother’s band rose to fame. Nikki and (Y/n) were perfect for each other, too bad her brother, Tommy, didn’t think so.

Series warnings:  Smut (18+ Please), drug use, language, referenced miscarriage, drug overdose, mentioned attempted suicide, out of character moments for everyone in the band, the timeline might be a little screwy but it’s fanfiction! I know nothing of music production and my medical knowledge is really screwy, so it won’t be accurate.

“Bret, where are we going?” (Y/n) laughed. She knew he was in a band, but she had yet to meet his bandmates. Bret was all smiles as he led her to the rehearsal area. He was so excited to show her off to the guys.

"Well… I decided it's time you meet the band," he said excitedly.

“You want me to meet your band? Finally?” She asked. Bret laughed a little as he opened the door for her to walk in.

“Okay, meet the guys.” Bret said, smiling as he led (Y/n) to the rehearsal room. “That’s Bobby over there on the bass,” Bobby waved at (Y/n). “That’s Rikki back on the drums.”      

“Hey!” Rikki called out to her.    

“And over here is CC, our guitarist.”            

“Who’s she?” CC asked, looking down his nose a bit at her.    

“(Y/n). Producer, and my girlfriend.” Bret smiled proudly. (Y/n) smiled too, but not with as much intensity. She liked Bret a lot. He was bubbly and charming, where as Nikki was more rough and dark. He was everything Nikki wasn’t. And it made her miss him even more. The guys were all talking, but she wasn’t paying too much attention until Bret turned to look at her.  

“Well, if you haven’t noticed, we took the Motley Crue thing and flipped it.” Bret laughed. “Three blondes and a brunette.”  

“It works.” (Y/n) said, smiling. “Now, let’s see what you got.” She took her seat, ready to watch them.

The group began to play, and Bret looked at (Y/n). She was watching with a smile on her face. They weren’t Motley Crue, but they were pretty good. She sat back in her seat, letting herself enjoy the music.

At least it would help her forget for awhile.

****

Nikki was scribbling on a piece of paper when Tommy came in. Raising an eyebrow, he sat across from the bassist and read the words on the page.

“The blade of my knife faced away from your heart. Those last few nights it turned and sliced you apart…” Tommy read. “What the hell is this?”

"New song," he mumbled.

“This is about my sister, isn’t it?” Tommy asked as he sat across from Nikki.    

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I never liked Athena that way.” Nikki responded, not looking up from his bass.  

“Oh, cut it out Nik. You know what I meant.” Tommy told him.  

“T-Bone…” Nikki sighed. “If she loved me, she would’ve stayed. End of story.”      

“She did love you man.” Tommy ran a hand down his face. “She does love you.”          

“Well maybe loves better off dead.” Nikki grumbled. Tommy stood up.          

“Fine. If that’s the way you’re gonna be.” He left then, leaving Nikki sitting there alone.

"Yeah it's the way I'm going to be," he looked around and sighed. He let out a soft sob, the tears hitting his bass, black from his makeup.

****

“We have a new single from the band Motley Crue,” The DJ said as (Y/n) made her way to work. “It’s a little bit of a darker song, but hanging out with the Prince of Darkness will do that to you.” The song started to play and (Y/n) felt her breath catch in her throat, hearing Vince sing such twisted things about someone being so in love that he had to kill the girl who didn’t love him anymore. Her car phone rang then. She knew it had to be Vanessa.

“Hello?” (Y/n) answered.

"Did you hear the new song?" Vanessa sighed. She had broken up with Jovi and was at her new apartment.

“I know...I just heard it.” (Y/n) sighed. “Nikki wouldn’t hurt me. But that scares me…”

"I have no idea what he was thinking… (Y/n), are you going to be ok?" Vanessa wondered what was going on in Nikki's head.

“I honestly don’t know.” She sighed. “Is it sad that I wanted him to beg for me to come back at the wedding? I’m getting mixed signals from him and I don’t know what to do…” She rubbed her eyes. “Do you want to catch lunch today? Or are you busy?”

"Let's grab some lunch," Vanessa smiled. "Haven't gotten a chance to talk to you in a while."

“Okay. Pick a place. I’ll meet you there.” She sighed. She was so unhappy at MCA. She wanted to be back with her boys. “Talk to you later Nessa.”

Vanessa gave her a local restaurant they could meet at for lunch before hanging up.

(Y/n) went through her day and soon was heading to meet Vanessa. She could’ve sworn she saw Nikki walking by at one point, but she knew it was impossible. She took her seat at the table.

“Hey Nessa.” (Y/n) said tiredly.

"Hey girl," she gave her a hug. "You look…" Vanessa trailed off.

“Like shit?” (Y/n) asked with a bit of a laugh. “Not used to doing this much work without speed in my system...” Without Nikki worrying about her, she could take it again if she wanted to.

"It's called normal! You don't need it in your system it was making you crash hard and it can hurt you." Vanessa said as she looked down at her hands. "I think that’s one of the reasons that I left Vince…"

“Tommy says he misses you.” (Y/n) said. “Heather makes me come over for dinner once a week. And we don’t mention…” She closed her eyes. “What are we doing with ourselves Nes?”

"We fell for guys who weren't ready for us yet," she sighed. "I heard from Mick that Nikki is spiraling hard and fast."

“I wanted to kiss him at the wedding. I wanted to pull him back out of that dark pit he’s in. But I don’t think he’s spiraling because of me. It’s the drugs.” She closed her eyes. “How are you and John?”

"Broke up a while ago," she shrugged.

“I’m sorry.” (Y/n) patted her hand. “Bret wants us to move in together. I don’t know.”

"What are you feeling I mean how long have you guys been together?" Vanessa too a bite of her food.

"It'll be a year in a few months. I just don't know. I…" MTV was playing on the TV. Smokin' in the Boys Room was on. "I don't love Bret."

“Then why stay with him?” Vanessa looked at her. “It’s the reason I broke up with John, I liked him, he was nice… but… something was missing you know?” she whispered.

“I don’t know. I haven’t found a good reason to leave him. He’s a nice guy. He really is.” She ate her food.

“Yeah, but… if you aren’t happy… is it really worth it to stay?” Vanessa sighed. “It wouldn't be fair to him if you did (Y/n).”

“Yeah, I know.” She offered Vanessa a small smile. “You know, I heard Vince is single.”

“I know, he called me while he was drunk and high… I love him but… I tried to help him after Razzle… he needs someone better, if he couldn't change for me maybe for someone else,” she shrugged.

“That’s what I think about Nikki.” It was the first time his name had came from her lips in a long time. “If he won’t give up the drugs for me, maybe there’s someone out there he will give them up for.” (Y/n) sat up straight. “Let’s go get tattoos tonight.”

“Let’s go,” Vanessa smiled as she placed cash on the table. “We going to Mike?” MIke was their tattoo guy. He always knew what they needed.  

“Would I ever go anywhere else?” (Y/n) asked with a laugh.

As they made their way to the strip, Nikki and Vince were already there.

“She goes out with Bret Michaels… I mean…. I have blond hair… I think….” Nikki looked up at his dyed black hair. “I..I messed up and I don’t know how to fix it… I just feel empty… but I was feeling empty before I met her you know?”

“Yeah man. But there for that time you guys were together, she made you feel whole, didn’t she?” Vince asked. His eyes widened. “Oh holy shit.”

NIkki tried to turn and almost fell, “What?” he tried to find what Vince saw. Vince grabbed his chin and pointed his head towards the opposite sidewalk. “Oh fuck,” he whispered as he was sure his heart skipped a beat because of her and not the drugs that were wearing off.

“They’re going to Mike’s.” Vince announced. “Looks like she got a taste for tats. I like those wings on her back I saw at Tommy’s wedding.”

“Yeah, she did…” he muttered remembering the one tattoo she got for him while they were dating. “I messed up and I just need another fix… did I tell you that Doc brought my fucking mother to see me… I just… I hate the bitch and then she asked about (Y/n) and… I hope blondie is making her happy.” Nikki rambled as he felt the walls closing in.

“Why don’t we go over there and you tell her all those things you told me after the wedding? All those things you wanted to tell her, but you didn’t.” Vince suggested. “Or we can go to the club and you can fuck another girl who looks like her and kick her out without even getting her name right.”

She isn’t going to want me back, I can't stop my highs so right now… I just need to feel something anything… she’s happy I can’t ruin that… besides, I have a reputation to protect now.” The label kept pressure on him to keep being the bad boy to keep up with the drugs. He sighed and looked at Vince, “come on let’s get inside.”

“Okay…” Vince gave one last look over at the tattoo shop before following Nikki into the strip club.

It happened again, this time he went for the blonde that looked like her when he first met her. He could just imagine the happier days. Her name escaped his lips and no matter what the girl he was with muttered he still called out to (Y/n). Not realizing he was being rough with the girl. The drug taking over his inhibitions.  

He kicked her out after he was done and threw himself down on the bed, closing his eyes and trying to fall asleep.

“Nikki, where are we going!” her voice echoed. He smiled at the blindfold around her eyes.

“That is the surprise sweet girl,” he whispered in her ear as he led her to the car and helped her in. he had everything planned, just the two of them, a nice night, and a happy ending. He drove up to the restaurant and smiled. He helped her out of the car and they were led inside. He had everything planned. He was able to get them a nice secluded part.

“Are you ready?” he whispered in her ear, undoing the knot on the blindfold.

“Always.” She gave him a little smirk.

Taking off the blindfold he smiled, “Happy birthday sweet girl,” he kissed her cheek.

“Oh Nikki! It’s beautiful.” She turned and kissed him. “Thank you my silly boy.” She smiled sweetly at him. “I love…”

Suddenly, he was standing there alone.

“(Y/n)?!” he looked around. All he saw was darkness. Nothing around him. He looked around frantically. “(Y/n) where are you?!” He turned around as the darkness started to lighten. He turned to see a hospital bed, her laying there, eyes closed and alone.

“Nikki, I need to talk to you.” He heard her voice. He spun around to see a younger him, high as a fucking kite, sitting on the couch in their living room. “I...I was pregnant.”

The words filtered but they didn’t register, “that’s nice babe,” he said and propped himself on the couch holding her. He didn't realize that what he said would cause her more pain. “Having kids would be cool.” He didn’t realize she was crying, or why days later, she wouldn’t let him touch her.

But now he realized what it all meant. Flashes of times she said she was fine, but the light in her eyes seemed to fade. The way she helped clean him up when he got off his high. The times he would just be in a haze of drug induced bliss. The sadness in her face. He felt it all. The regret setting in, the pain he caused her.

Then there it was. The house. The glass laying everywhere, his blood staining the soft carpet from cuts. The picture of Disneyland laying on the ground. Her empty drawers and closet. The feeling of coming home from tour and seeing that her things were gone. The feeling of going to her office and seeing that she had left Elektra. It was enough to wake him up.

With a gasp he sat up in bed alone looking around. He felt the tightness in his chest, the feeling of loneliness. The words from his memories echoing in his head. And he did the only thing he could do then to stop them.

He reached for his needle.

Forever Tags:  @anathewierdo @dekahg @marvel-af-imagines @feelmyroarrrr @nanie5 @imboredsueme @gemini0410 @aiaranradnay @babypink224221 @mogaruke @xxwarhawk @sandlee44 @shatteredabby @caswinchester2000 @supernaturalwincestsblog @lauravic @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk @teller258316 @horrorpxnk

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[saiilorstars]

It Had To Be You

Ch.8:  Focus // [Story Masterlist]

Pairings: Barry Allen x Original Female Character

Summary: Barry tries to move on after Belén suddenly left the city, but in doing so he begins to harbor resentment towards her. 

Pronunciation of OC’s name: Bell-en. The last syllable has an emphasis so it’s not pronounced like ‘Helen’ would be.

~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~

In the following morning after going against 'Captain Cold', Barry thought a good (and hopefully civilized) talk with Belén was in order. Since she had no more classes, he assumed she would either be at home or at her job. Calling would've been pointless since she hadn't answered any of his calls the previous night so guessing was all he had to go by.

He was knocking incessantly on Belén's front door - he was hoping her father wasn't there so he wouldn't have to awkwardly explain the reason behind his pounds on the door. After five minutes of knocking, he gave up. Giving it one quick scope with his speed he finally concluded that no one was home.

That left CC Pictures.

"Hi, Barry," Linda greeted him from her desk when he walked in.

"Linda," Barry headed for her desk while taking a look at the current employees rushing about. He assumed after the tumbling train and cold gun incident, the news was buzzing with new articles. "I need to talk to Belén. Can you call her?"

Linda's face scrunched in confusion. "Barry, I thought you knew."

"Knew what?"

"Belén called in last night - she's left the city."

Barry's eyebrows raised, equally confused as the reporter. "She...she...she what?"

Linda rose from her chair, lightly tapping her knuckles on her desk. "I was hoping to bump into you or one of her other friends so that someone could explain this. She called in last night and said she was going to be taking a break. She understood her job here could be lost but she seemed very determined to leave."

"Did...did she give you any sort of reasoning?" Barry asked, the wave of guilt not wasting time in hitting. "Or, where she went to?"

"Nothing just that she needed a break," Linda shrugged, clearly doubtful that it was the truth. "I told her her job was safe. But, between you and I, if she's gone for a long time I won't be able to help her later on. You think you can pass on the message?"

Even though he had no idea where Belén could've possibly gone, he still nodded his head. "Yeah…"

"Barry?" Linda called when Barry was already halfway back to the doors. "Do you know why Belén would just pick up and leave?"

"Uh…"

"I mean, I know she's gone through a lot of stuff lately but if she wanted to do something like this she would've done it a long time ago…"

Barry swallowed hard and forced himself to shake his head. "N-no...not at all…"

Linda seemed to trust him but looked no less disappointed. With a polite smile, they bid goodbye and Barry rushed to go find the missing (possible) metahuman.

~ 0 ~

2 Months Later.

"Felicity, I'm here, but are you sure this is the place?"

"Positive, Belén. There's been tons of break-ins into this jewelry store by that gumbo woman."

"Plasticine, you meant Plasticine."

"Eugh, that's still a creepy name."

Belén rolled her eyes and came to a stop in front of the jewelry store that barely had any customers inside. It seemed like a perfectly normal jewelry store yet she has discovered - thanks to the wonderful techy powers of Felicity Smoak - that this was a preferred robbing spot for the metahuman known as Plasticine.

"Belén," came Oliver Queen's voice through her earpiece, "Remember what I told you to do."

"Yes, yes," Belén's eyes - which were hidden behind tendrils of vines forming a nice mask with small Azaleas decorating its corners - quickly glanced down at her hands. She flexed them over and over as she saw spots of green trying to make its way across her skin. No, she told herself. That needed to go away. "I learn fast, remember?" she answered in a perfectly normal voice, nothing that would ever indicate what she was trying to desperately hide.

"Two months is hardly fast."

"Shut up," Belén commanded and she was sure Felicity had done something from the other line to make it so.

As Belén's eyes re-opened, this time more focused on her task. Her ombre-blonde hair, which had been picked up into a high pony-tail, were being overun by thin roots with green vines that contained several small azaleas throughout its course. It was just enough to cover her blonde tips (in case any civilian identified it and configured back to her).

Her dark green leather jacket, whose green shade faded midway to turn into a hot pink just like her pants, was zipped closed as she burst into the store.

"Customers," her perfectly modulated voice (thanks to Felicity's addition to the earpiece) made everyone in the building stop, "get out."

See, the good thing about Central City now was that when some crazed leather bound person ordered those three words people listened in a snap. When customers had ran out, Belén sealed the door by wrapping her vines all over them.

"Freeze!" came the predicted security guard behind her.

"Belén," Oliver's voice warned the young woman before she made her move.

"I know," Belén rolled her eyes and thrust a hand back to the guard. A thick green vine had shot out from her palm and swiftly snatched the gun from the officer, breaking it two before letting it drop to the floor. "I don't mean to hurt anyone," she addressed the rest of the people in the room, "I need to talk to a certain employee: Alizae Fraye."

The woman in question squeaked in terror and instantly had Belén turning in her direction. Belén felt a little guilty since she already knew the woman thanks to her sister. She hoped neither would ever found out about this.

"I don't want to hurt you," Belén clarified. "I'm only here to ask questions."

The woman, a brunette, gave a light nod but it didn't mean she wasn't terrified.

"Belén, there's about two minutes before the police get there," Felicity called from the earpiece.

"Get in, and get out," added Oliver.

"A woman in purple, shoots some sort of purple gumbo, she comes here to steal every month or so. Correct?"

Alizae nodded.

"But she never hurts anyone does she?"

Alizae shook her head.

"And whenever she comes in, she always come straight for you. Why?"

Alizae shrugged. "I…don't know…" she croaked.

Belén looked around the room, the people paralyzed with fear of what she would do next. "There has to be a connection here," her voice hardened intentionally. "A woman with powers comes in here every month - always on the same day and time - and she takes a couple priceless jewelry then makes a clean getaway."

"She knows what she's coming for," the guard that had tried to shoot her was now helping, apparently.

That was a good thing, Belén smiled.

"It's like she knows where everything is," Belén acknowledged his help with a light nod.

"From the moment she got here," a third employee spoke up, a male, "she knew where everything was. Like...like…"

"She had already visited the store before," Belén finished for him. "See, I can understand that. She's clever, she scopes out her place before robbing it. What I can't understand is why she always comes to you," she pointed a pink nailed polished finger at Alizae. "Why you?"

"I swear to you I don't know," Alizae whimpered.

"And she doesn't hurt anyone either," Belén continued on. "This is like a normal day at the grocery store for her. But see, here's another thing: she's big and bad with her powers so she can do far better than measly jewelry here - no offense," she quickly added, "Why settle for this?"

"She says she doesn't like doing it," Alizae dared to reveal. "I can see it too - in her eyes - that she does it with hesitancy."

"Useful," Belén thought and looked up at the cameras. With both her hands she shot out vines and smashed them to pieces. "Sorry," she honestly said to the others, "I didn't steal nor hurt anyone but I still don't want trouble. This was interesting, thank you all."

With a wide smile, she let her vines enclose themselves around her body and in a snap, they fled the building.

~ 0 ~

"I should be leaving," Belén walked alongside Nina, the latter in regular clothes. The dark, lonesome street allowed for an uninterrupted conversation between the two.

"If you truly believed that then we wouldn't have left our suitcases back at my place," Nina smirked.

"Yeah, but...I don't know, I'm nervous," Belén bit on one of her nails.

"Course you are - you've changed."

"Thanks, Nina," Belén rolled her eyes. "I feel better, and I'm going to be better. It's just seeing them all…"

The two women trailed off at the sound of a police sirens. They exchanged concerned looks before running towards the scene. It appeared there had been an explosion of some sort. The consequences were grave but what really took it home was the man hanging onto a loose window scaffold.

"Help! Help!" the man frantically cried from the top.

"That's gotta be at least forty feet high," Nina raised her eyebrows.

Belén stepped fowards, turning her palms upwards. "Hmm…"

"Bells, don't," Nina warned when she saw the idea forming into Belén's mind.

"Why not? This is why I left in the first place. Besides, it's not the first saving I'd be doing."

"Yeah, but do this, and you could get caught by that someone you say you're not ready to bump into."

"That man is going to die and I'm not gonna let it happen because of silly nervousness." Belén made her declaration with the utmost honesty. Without hearing Nina's next response, she rushed off to go help the poor man that was literally hanging from a tearing rope.

She tilted her head and cracked her neck, simultaneously stretching her hands. Nina was right, the man was up at least forty levels and she hadn't quite stretched her powers that far. She needed to be extra careful. She cast another look at her hands and saw the same greeness trying to make its presence. I said no. She balled them up and backtracked a little before thrusting her right hand forwards and released one of her thick vines. It stuck to the wall like a suckers and she did the same with her other hand, landing the second vine rope-like mass. Using them like anchors, she brought herself up. Ignoring the fact she was oh-so-many-feet high, she got onto the falling scaffold, using one of her vines to keep it to a regular position.

"It'll be alright," she assured the awed and terrified man. "It's gonna feel weird, but I'll get you down," she promised.

Multiple vines extended from her body and wrapped around the man's body. Belén admitted there was the adrenaline she grew to love from doing stuff like this. It was rather wonderful knowing you could have peoples' lives in your hands - or in this case vines - and that you could keep them protected when no one else could.

Those were her thoughts as she watched her vines lower the man down the building. She gently let him down to the ground.

And then she got a crazy idea she knew Nina would scold her about later. She let herself drop headfirst and laughed as she put her hands together. They created an extra thick vine that helped her land with a front handspring move.

It would've been a perfect ending if there hadn't been a watcher nearby.

"Wo-oah…" she sucked in a breath at the sight of her good friend Iris West standing across.

Iris looked wonderstruck of all she saw - and with great reason!

Belén's first instinct was to look down. Her mask would only cover her so much, and she was no where near ready to try her...other side. But, her hair tips were covered with stringlets of roots and flowers till it covered up her identifiable blonde tips.

Iris thought for sure she had squeaked then. Yes, she was sure.

She made a step towards Belén but in the next second vines had entangled themselves around Belén and taken her away from the scene.

~ 0 ~

In Jitters, Barry sat alone at a table waiting for Iris to come over with his ordered coffee. It was a particularly casual day, waiting for STAR Labs to come up with an identity for the person who mysteriously bombed an elite storage room the previous night. This case, however, was more interesting than any other case: the army had come to take it over. Just like that, they swept up the case with all its compartments and took off.

But, Barry managed to snag the most important part of the evidence and got it to STAR Labs right away for analyzation.

"Oh my God," Iris' voice made him snap out of his thoughts. She was coming over with her pot of coffee, but her eyes were stuck past him to the doors. "Barry, look."

He followed her gaze and glanced back to see Nina Clarke coming. On any other occasion, the appearance would've been normal…

2 Months ago:

"Hey," Barry greeted Caitlin as he walked in, the bio-engineer anxiously looking up at him.

"How'd it go?" she asked.

"Not good," Barry leaned against the side of the desk. "Get this, Nina took an absence of leave-" he did air quotation marks, "-from the hospital this morning. I checked her apartment and she wasn't there anymore."

"That's highly suspicious," Caitlin made a face.

"Very," Barry agreed. "Belén leaves last night, and then today one of her friends does the same? And with no specific reason?"

"You think she's where Belén is?"

"Of course. But question is, where?"

At that moment, Cisco strode into the room, and he looked nowhere pleased.

"How'd it go with you?" Barry asked him, though by the big sigh Cisco gave he could tell it wasn't going to get better.

"I talked to Bells' dad and he said he had no idea Belén was going to do this," Cisco plopped down in one of the desk chairs.

"Did you believe him?" Caitlin arched an eyebrow.

"Yeah, he was looking worried too," Cisco shrugged. "But he knows where she is now-" and just as Barry opened his mouth he added, "-and he said Bells told him not to say anything. She wanted a 'break'."

"Looks like Belén doesn't want to be found," Caitlin concluded with the obvious facts. She leaned back on her chair, sadly smiling at her two friends. "I think we need to respect her decision."

"But that's just it!" Barry exclaimed suddenly, startling the two. "It was a stupid, rash decision! She left the city because of me! Because I...I lied."

The pang his heart gave was a painful one.

"Do you think Bells is back too?" Iris quietly whispered to Barry as the two watched Nina go up to the counter to order.

Out of everyone, Iris was the most concerned of Belén's friends. She really had no idea what possessed Belén to get up and leave the way she had. No one seemed to know where Belén had run off to, nor her reasons. Even her graduation party had been cancelled because of her sudden departure. Her father had picked up her certificate from the office the day before the graduation ceremony took place. As far as Iris knew, Linda had hired some newly graduated student to cover Belén's position in the meantime the woman was gone.

Overall, Iris was confused and she just missed her friend.

"We should talk to her," Iris resolved and glanced at Barry for his opinion. He was mildly glaring at the nurse and while Iris could understand (in some way) his annoyance with the abrupt leave, she hit him in the arm. "It's not her fault Bells left! Don't you dare ruin this," she warned with a finger before going to greet Nina.

Nina wasn't surprised to find the younger woman taking her order. She politely smiled. "Hello, Iris."

"Nina, it's been a long time," Iris mustered her gracefulness and patience for this conversation.

"Has it?" Nina chuckled.

"Only been two months but...who's counting?" Iris chuckled alongside but it was easily fake as Nina's. "Can I get your order?"

"Espresso, please."

Iris nodded and dotted it on the register. "So...are you back in the city for good now?"

"Oh yeah, definitely," Nina answered, reaching for her wallet inside her bag. "I had to take care of some personal stuff."

"Did that 'personal stuff' also require Belén?"

Nina didn't seem fazed by the question as she handed Iris a ten dollar bill. Her smile was gone but her voice was still polite. "Actually, it was personal matters for each of us."

Iris accepted the bill and worked with the register. "Was it resolved?"

"Hm, yes, in a way, it was."

"And is she okay?"

"In what fits, Iris, yes. She's finally accepted her brother's death but how well can a sibling be when they accept that their twin is dead and with no recovered body to mourn?"

Iris had held out Nina's change and was left to think about the question with a decent amount of guilt. She had never thought about Belén leaving for her brother. Truthfully, at one point, Iris believed Belén was just doing this on purpose. How was she supposed to know this was about Rayan?

"Is she back now?" she whispered. "Is she back in the city?"

Nina took her change and put it back into her wallet. "I'll wait over there," she pointed to a lonesome table near the doors then left.

Iris glumly went to prepare the espresso. It was then that Barry got up to take his opportunity.

"Hello Barry," Nina greeted without so much of a glance from her phone screen. "How's it going?"

"Are you serious?" the hard tone in his voice made her chuckle.

"Oh, don't tell me you're mad. Out of everyone you are the least person with the right to be mad."

"I don't think it's funny when a friend disappears and has all of us going crazy wondering what happened."

Nina finally raised her eyes to the metahuman, and her sarcasm was no longer with her. "She's fine, Barry. She left because she thought it was the right thing to do for her. It has nothing to do with what fell out between you two."

While it did relieve Barry somewhat it wasn't enough. He took a seat across her, earnestly speaking. "Where is she? Where did she go?"

Nina just smiled at him. "You'll see her again, don't worry."

"That's not what I'm asking," Barry snapped. "Where the hell did she go?"

"She won't be the same, though," Nina warned, acting as if Barry hadn't said anything yet.

"That's not what-"

"She's a bit scared though of how you'll react - how everyone will react…"

"Nina!" Barry had slammed a hand on the table, not loud enough to cause a distraction but enough to make the doctor flinch on her spot. "I have spent the last two months going crazy wondering where it is she could've gone to. I get it, I messed up, and she's mad. But the least she can do is give us a call to let us know she's fine."

Nina bit her lip, looking reluctant of her next words. "The thing with her brother, it's part of the reason why she left. I love her, I really do, but I'm afraid what's gonna happen now that...that she's…"

"Now that she's…?" Barry motioned her to keep going.

"Here's your espresso," Iris chirped and set down the coffee cup on the table. She looked between Nina and Barry, getting strange vibes from them. "Um...am I interrupting?"

"No," Nina picked up her espresso and got up. "It was nice seeing you guys. I have to get to my shift. Bye."

"Well that was strange," Iris sighed and looked over to Barry. "Did she tell you anything about Bells?"

Barry was left in an even fouler mood than before. "No," he answered shortly and also got up.

"Do you think if we-"

"I have to go Iris," was his last statement before promptly (and what Iris deemed as rudely) leaving as well.

He had only made it halfway down the street when his phone vibrated. As soon as he answered it, Cisco quickly told him of the last known address (which in reality was an emergency contact) of their new metahuman in the city. As it turned out, Bette Sans Souci had a an address not too far. Getting in the suit, he sped to go find her.

He came into an alleyway where a tall ginger woman had been running from a staircase. She yelped when he came to a stop right in front of her. Immediately, she backtracked but Barry wasn't gonna let her go.

"Bette Sans Souci? I need you to come with me!"

"Don't touch me!" the woman nearly pleaded but Barry grabbed her by the wrist and yanked her forwards.

Her hand landed on his suit's emblem and she blinked with terror as it began shifting into a bright purple. "Get whatever you're wearing off of you. Hurry!"

Barry wasn't one to listen to strangers so quick but just for once he would make an exception. He sped away from her and got the suit off just mere seconds before it exploded into nothing!

Back at STAR Labs, Cisco was trying to get through to Barry while Caitlin assured him everything was fine on the other side.

"Barry? Can you hear me? Barry?"

"There must be a perfectly reasonable explanation for why he's not answering."

And then Barry sped in, going for the spare clothes in one of the side rooms.

"Barry?" Caitlin eyed him curiously as he came back out with pants he surely did not have before and pulling down a gray shirt over himself. "Uh…?"

"Don't ask," Barry mumbled, still not over what happened.

Cisco's eyes roamed the entire room for his crimson suit. "I'm gonna ask. Where's my suit?"

"It's... Gone."

Cisco straightened in his chair, his brow furrowing."What do you mean, it's gone? What did you do with my suit?"

"It blew up, dude. I managed to get out of it before it went, "kaboom."

"My suit went "kaboom"?"

Barry ignored Cisco's processing and walked over to the desk. "Fun fact about Bette Sans Souci. She's not carrying bombs. She touched the emblem on the suit and turned it into a bomb. She's a meta-human."

Dr. Wells came into the main room having heard the revelation. "With the ability to cause spontaneous combustion upon tactile contact."

Cisco was scowling by then. "She blew up my suit."

Caitlin rolled her eyes at him. "You have, like, three more."

"Okay, I have two. And I loved that one!"

"All right, what else do we know about her?" Barry asked from the two, now a little more impatient to find her.

Cisco leaned towards one of the computers and began looking up the recent information they had downloaded on the metahuman. "Oh, I don't know. She's pure evil. We're gonna find this girl and send her butt into the pipeline. No one blows my tech to smithereens and gets away with it…" his irritated tone vanished upon seeing a picture of the mysterious Bette, "Unless she looks like that."

"I don't think she meant to hurt me," Barry admitted to them.

"Well, her being a meta-human explains General Eiling's interest in her," Wells remarked.

At that moment, Joe came in and didn't look too surprised of what he'd heard so far. "And why he stole the case from us. He didn't want anyone to know what she could do. So... Human bomb. Must be Tuesday in Central City."

"Yes, and General Eiling's not one to give up a potential asset without a fight."

"We have to find her before he does."

"Barry?" Joe asked once the others got to work. "Can I see you for a second?" Barry nodded and followed him out into the corridor. "We've got a problem with Iris. She saw a metahuman - upclose at a police scene."

"I wasn't there, it wasn't me," Barry's hands shot up in immediate innocence.

"I know it wasn't you - it was a woman, least that's what Iris says."

"Well, maybe it was this one," Barry gestured to the room but Joe shook his head.

"This one bombs, the one that Iris saw apparently shoots plants or something."

Barry stiffened, not that Joe noticed. He was too preoccupied with his daughter at the moment.

"She's writing a blog now-"

"I already talked to her about that," Barry reminded, though his thoughts were beginning to roam from the conversation.

"Talk to her again. And be more convincing."

"Okay," Barry nodded and was about to go back inside when he caught Joe's sharp look. "Oh! You mean, right now?"

"Yes, I do," Joe motioned him to get a move on.

"Alright," Barry hurriedly left.

~ 0 ~

Sticking to his word, Barry was back at Jitters and desperately trying to get Iris to sway from her sudden passion.

"You've got to stop writing about these people - they don't exist."

Iris scoffed and turned to him, lowering the tray she was carrying. "I saw one of them, alright? They do too exist. I went to that crime scene thinking just maybe I would get a glimpse of the Streak but instead I saw this woman who singlehandedly saved a man from plummeting to his death. She wore this green and pink outfit…"

While Barry was listening attentively to her description of this new metahuman (that clearly was not Bette) he played it off with disbelief. "I mean, Iris, come on. You were drinking last night at the bar," he reminded her of their previous night out with their friends.

"I was not drunk, and I know what I saw," Iris said with a hint of annoyance. "It was amazing. I watched her dive from a window scaffold and landed perfectly on her feet and she only used these vines," she turned over one of her palms for gesture. "They just shot out from her hands! And body! It was incredible, Barry!"

All the details began ringing a red alert in Barry's mind.

It was just oddly familiar.

"I want to have people know that there are these extraordinary people out there saving us. What is wrong with you?" Iris stopped to give Barry an accusing look. "This is important to me. Why can't you be more supportive?"

"I'm just... you haven't even put your name on it. How serious can you be about an anonymous blog?"

Iris had enough of all the useless questionnaires and comments on something she was really interested in. "Okay, you know what? Our entire lives, you couldn't scream loud enough that the impossible existed. And now it's actually happening in Central City. I have proof of it, and you don't want to know about it? That doesn't make sense, Barry. So when you're ready to tell me what this whole routine is really about, then we can talk."

In other occasions, her being mad at him would've been bigger but all Barry could think of was the last time he had heard of a metahuman with vines.

Well, he wasn't going to sit there and watch her laugh at him like that.

~ 0 ~

"I'm looking through them, Felicity," Belén was in Nina's apartment, sitting at the kitchen table with a laptop in front of her. She was talking to the blonde techie over the cellphone while looking at a previous robbery of the jewelry store she visited last night. "I just don't understand what exactly I'm looking for this time. Oliver's already had me scour through them for clues till I broke down and you know it."

"Well, here's the one I wanted you to look at," Felicity said and soon Belén got the ping of an e-mail alert. She opened it up to find a video, security footage, of the Stagg building.

"Felicity, what am I looking at exactly?" Belén asked in confusion as she watched the video. It had a viewpoint from a nearby building by Stagg's, and as the seconds went by Belén saw the woman in purple standing at the rooftop of a building that would be just across Stagg's.

"These are a couple of videos I montaged," Felicity began to explain. "See, this one was when there was the incident with Simon Stagg and the tons of clones."

"Okay…"

"Now this is the night where Barry fought said metahuman, and do you see what's happening in the meantime of this fight?"

"Nothing," Belén shrugged. "She's just...watching."

"Exactly - she's watching. And do you know what else I've picked up on?"

"No, but please tell."

"There's other security video feed of her just 'happening' to be around when there's a metahuman or robbery going on. It's not always but there's a good 80% she will be there."

"She's got no life, then," Belén joked to herself.

It was short lived as a strong wind blew everything save the computer off the table.

"Belén? Is something wrong?" Felicity's voice barely made a noise in the already silent apartment. "Belén…?"

Barry had entered in a completely abrupt and rude way into the apartment, but he currently did not care. Belén ended her call with one click of a finger and put the phone down.

"Barry…?" She rose from her chair, unsure of how to even talk to him anymore.

Barry was in the same predicament, unsure how to address the woman across him. There was a turmoil of emotions washing over him and he didn't know which one was the one he felt the most.

"How did you...how did you know to find me here?" Belén discreetly closed the laptop beside her.

"I saw Nina earlier today," Barry said quietly. He was staring hard at her, studying her appearance for anything that would tell him (or give him a clue) as to where it was she had gone off to.

Belén nervously bit her lip, her feet locked on the spot she was in. "No one knows I'm here, though. My Dad...he doesn't know yet. Can you please not tell him anything?"

Barry surprised her by lightly laughing. "I'm sorry, after everything you're asking me a favor?"

There was the seeping anger Belén had been expecting.

"I know I don't deserve anything but it's important," she whispered.

"You don't get to ask favors from me anymore."

"I know-"

"No you don't!" Barry snapped. "You left, Belén! You left without saying a word to any of us! One call," he pointed at her, "One measly call to let us know you were fine would've been enough. It didn't even have to be to me!"

"I told my father to tell you all," Belén meekly reminded.

"Getting a message isn't the same thing!" Barry's voice kept rising and rising, and he knew it was completely out of his character to do so but looking at her and seeing she was fine made it all the more angering when he remembered how guilty he'd been (and still was) for causing her to leave. "I thought we were friends-"

"So did I," Belén finally made a comeback. "I thought we were friends but then I came to the shocking surprise he'd been laughing at me behind my back by pretending to be some super hero helping me."

"And you thought the best way to get back at me was to flee the city?"

"My choice in leaving was not about you!"

"Yeah, right. Admit it Belén, you wanted to hurt me like I hurt you."

Now it was Belén growing angry, and unlike Barry she had less control of her feelings. She could feel that other side trying to creep its way to the surface. "Stop it! I left for other reasons that didn't include some silly revenge!"

"Are you sure about that?" Barry challenged her, taking a couple steps towards her. Her teary eyes were not going to get him to back down, not this time. "What I did was wrong, I admit that and I take my

responsibility for it. But what you did, hurt not only me, it hurt everyone else. You left us, and you made me feel like it was because of ME me. Do you know what feels like?"

"It wasn't like that," Belén persisted, but her voice was faltering.

Barry shook his head. "And then you come back as a metahuman - because don't you dare lie to me and say you aren't - and let Iris see you."

Belén's eyes shot up to him, surprised he'd figured it out and that he knew of the incident with Iris. "You looked at the results…"

"No, I promised you I wouldn't so I didn't. Iris told me about it, and it doesn't take a genius to figure it out if you were at the scene of your kidnapper's vacation home. You have powers and you've been using them!"

"And I suppose you're gonna fault me again because I didn't tell you?" Belén arched an eyebrow. "Because remember, when I met you I was under the belief you were just Iris' best friend who worked as a forensics."

"But now that you know, and that you're in this world, you need to know that Iris cannot know anything about us."

"What-"

"Joe doesn't want her to know and we have to respect that. But if she keeps writing about this, about you and me and anyone else, she's going to get hurt!"

"But I didn't plan on seeing her, honest! Like I said, no one knows I'm back!"

"I'm just giving you one warning, Belén. This was it."

Belén confusingly watched him head for the door. "So that's just it? You're not going to talk to me anymore?"

"Isn't that what you wanted?" Barry glanced back, reminding her of her requests. "You said if I talked to you again I would be punched."

"I was angry with you, Barry! I could've said a lot of things I clearly didn't mean!"

"Now I'm mad at you, and I think I know I mean it when I say don't talk to me."

Belén stifled a sob as she made to come after him. "B-Barry!"

But he was already gone.

Through her feelings, she felt that same feeling start at her hands. Gasping she looked at her hands and was horrified to see that emerald green beginning to fully cover her skin this time.

"No! No! No! No!" she dashed to the bathroom and slammed the door shut with lock. She put herself in front of the mirror to see parts of her face also sporting some blotches of green. "Go away! Go away!" she shouted at it and screwed her eyes shut, hands firmly gripping the edges of the sink.

"Go away, go away, go away, go away, go away," she repeated like a chant.

~ 0 ~

"And you said that to her? All of that?" Caitlin was gaping towards Barry after hearing the incident between him and the newly arrived Belén.

"Not cool, dude, not cool," Cisco said distractedly while recording Bette's numbers onto the computer.

They had finally met with Bette, under some bad circumstances, and took her back to STAR Labs to get a clearer understanding of her abilities. But due to General Eiling still after her, they were forced to take her into the training area a bit quicker than planned so that Dr. Wells could deal with the man.

"Barry, I don't think that was the best way to greet her," Caitlin gently said, understanding where Barry's anger was coming from.

"I couldn't help it!" Barry exclaimed and paced back and forth beside the table of computers and other objects for Bette's exams. "I was so mad that she came back like nothing!"

"Well, did you expect her to be begging for forgiveness?" Cisco asked, still appearing to be annoyed with him.

"No, Cisco, but I did expect some sort of explanation."

"So did you let her talk? Because you have a tendency not to when you're mad at someone."

"You know, it sounds like you're taking her side, Cisco," Barry suspiciously said, crossing his arms.

"I'm not," Cisco clarified before anything else was said. "It's just...I don't think what needed to be said was said. I wanna talk to Bells and find out why she left."

"Good luck," Barry scoffed and walked off to go see how Bette was doing.

"That went well," Caitlin remarked and eyed a boomerang Cisco had apparently brought for the tests. Bette was supposed to throw the objects to the sky for them to explode but clearly Cisco forgot about that small detail.

"I can't believe he shouted a her," Cisco muttered.

"Look, on some level, it is understandable. We can't blame Barry after these two months. He felt guilty, and he still does. What Belén did was wrong. What did she expect was going to happy?"

~ 0 ~

"What did you expect was going to happen, hm?" Nina stood in front of the couch where Belén was sitting.

The ombre-blonde was sitting cross-legged, currently sniffing as tears fell from her eyes.

"You left abruptly and you didn't even bother giving your friends a call. It's a natural response to be angry."

"I know I deserved it, but it doesn't mean it didn't hurt," Belén meekly argued.

Of course she had expected for Barry and the others to be angry with her decision and the way she executed it. She wasn't expecting some sort of big welcome back nor immediate friendship. Those were the first warnings Felicity, and then others of Starling City told her, but she was firm on her decision.

She still was.

"It doesn't help to cry, Belén," Nina sighed and walked into the kitchen.

"There's nothing more I can do," Belén finally looked up. "I messed up and these are the consequences that I have to endure."

"By crying?" Nina rolled her eyes and plopped down at the table, re-opening the laptop Belén had forgone a while ago.

"Well, I'm sorry but not everyone can be rigid like the great Nina Clarke is," Belén rolled her eyes but the statement seemed to only amuse Nina.

"I'm only saying instead of sitting on my couch and sobbing for your woes, go out there and do something about it."

"Like what?"

"I don't know, but I would start by returning your life to normal. Right now, you're stressed and your mind is clouded with Rayan's case."

"That's because he's my only priority right now. I'm not gonna get distracted."

Nina shook her head and raised her eyes from the computer screen for a moment. "Being what we are - metahumans - is already weird and distancing. Don't add unnecessary negatives to it."

Belén leaned back on the cushion, still pouting. Nina went back to the computer and for a while there was no more conversation. It wasn't until Nina gasped in what sounded like horror that Belén forewent her sad thoughts.

"Nins, what is it?"

"Your friend Iris really wants to die," Nina was blinking wide-eyed at the screen. Belén got up and rushed to go see what was Iris had done now.

"Oh my God," Belén said with a mixture of horror and weariness.

Iris had posted a new article for her blog...with her name written on it this time.

"She just doesn't get the memo," Nina scrolled through the newest post.

"Barry told me Iris posted a new thing about me, but I didn't really think about what would happen."

"This can't keep going. One of these days someone will make the connection she knows 'the Streak' and now you."

"It's my fault," Belén walked away from the table, running her hands through her now messy hair. "And you know, no matter what happens I don't want Iris getting hurt when she's the least one who deserves it."

"So what are you planning on doing?" Nina asked, genuinely curious.

"Exactly what Barry did to me when I most needed it," Belén turned around with a wide smile.

"Oh, no…"

~ 0 ~

Later that night, Iris was busy cleaning up inside Jitters so that she could properly close down and leave. There was a light knock on the door followed by a bell chime.

"Sorry, we're closed," Iris called without looking up from the dishes she was collecting.

"I was hoping you would make an exception."

Iris nearly let the cups in her hands fall after seeing several tendrils of vines passing through the doors. The tendrils swirled up from the floor into the shape of a figure until it became the familiar woman in green Iris had seen. "Oh, my God, it's you!"

Belén stood there in her 'vigilante' outfit, with the flower mask around her eyes. Her hair was covered in the strings of roots that hid her blonde tips.

"You remember from one night?" Belén mused, her modulated voice coming as not a surprise for Iris.

"Actually," Iris beamed and put down her glasses to go retrieve her bag behind the counter. "I knew you were familiar from somewhere and I couldn't just let it go!"

'Course you couldn't," Belén hid her smile by looking to the side.

Iris had pulled out her computer and set it on the counter. "There have been reportings of a mysterious new addition to the Arrow's team…" she turned the computer over to Belén's direction, "...it's you. Isn't it?"

Belén took no steps towards her. Instead, she extended a hand and with a vine sprouting from her palm she brought the computer over to her. She looked intently onto the screen where several news pictures had caught her in low resolution pictures.

"It's so you," Iris concluded on her own after taking a moment to really study the woman.

"Yes," Belén saw no point in denying what was so clear on picture. Slowly, she returned the laptop to the counter. "You looked me up?"

"Of course," Iris said as it were obvious. "Why wouldn't I?"

"Because you don't know me, no one knows me."

"I know. Right now, it's all about the Streak. But…" Iris came around the counter with a wide smile, "...girls need the recognition too, right? I saw you save that man last night, and I've been going through some of Star City's news online. You're a hero, just like the Streak. What have you been doing over at Star City though? Or, why did you decide to come here now?"

Belén sucked in a breath. "Can we speak somewhere else? Like, the rooftop?"

Iris nodded her head, forgetting her duties and motioning to the staircase leading up to the roof. Belén just smiled and motioned her go first. Iris did so and was halfway up when she realized the woman had never followed. She ran up the remainder of stairs and came to the surprise of finding Belén already waiting for her.

"How did you…?" Iris laughed, looking around for a clue as to how she was beaten. "How did you do that? You're fast too?"

Belén sat on the ledge of the building, leaning forwards over her knees. "It's much more fun using my vines to climb buildings. I'm no Streak but I do set my own speed records when I turn vine-ish…"

Iris figured and laughed again.

Belén remained serious and stood up. "I need you to stop writing about me, about any of us with powers. The Streak agrees."

"You know each other?" Iris brightened up, and Belén inwardly smacked herself on the face. Apparently, that was all that Iris had heard from her statement. "Are you like...like some superhero duo now? Or-"

"Iris," Belén raised a hand to cut in, "please just listen. It's not safe for you to keep writing about us."

"But there are a lot of people who need someone like you guys right now. To know that you're out there."

"Maybe not," Belén countered. "This writing stuff, isn't it becoming a problem for you and your family? I would assume they would be concerned for your safety. And I have to be honest, putting your name on this newest article wasn't your smartest idea."

"You read my article?" Iris gasped.

Again, she only heard the last of Belén's words.

"You are a fantastic writer and I have no doubt that you will go on to do amazing things in journalism...but just not with these articles."

"Why are you so keen on me letting it go? Don't you want people to know about you? To know about the Streak?"

"Personally, I haven't the faintest idea why you decided to post something about me," Belén put a hand over her chest.

"Because you're just as amazing," Iris shrugged, coming to take a step towards her. "You climb buildings with vines! Not to mention, you actually turn into vines! You are amazing!"

Belén bitterly laughed, and though it was dark Iris could clearly see the woman's green eyes glossy.

"What's the matter?" she gently asked. "You don't believe it?"

Belén looked at her friend with a sad smile. "You don't know me, Iris West. I am not grand, I am not deserving of any articles written for me. You want a hero, you go to the Streak. Me? I'm not a good person."

"Yes, you are," Iris was quick to interject, the soft smile across her lips nearly making Belén believe it. "Why wouldn't you believe it?"

"A good person doesn't hurt their friends nor family - that is exactly what I've done," Belén bit her lip, hating herself for talking about this...but her lips wouldn't stop opening. "I did a bad thing a while back. I was mad at a friend and I made a decision that same day that I knew would hurt him back." Belén then lowly laughed when she made the realization. "I guess, in a way, I wanted him to hurt like he made me hurt. But my decision didn't just hurt him, it hurt a lot more people...and I don't know how to fix it."

Iris wished nothing more than to go over and hug this mysterious woman who in reality seemed a lot more vulnerable than what the media portrayed. It was just a reminder that heroes were still human. "That doesn't make you a bad person," Iris gently declared. "Everyone makes mistakes, but what matters is how you intend on fixing them. This doesn't stop you from being a hero in my eyes."

"I'm not a hero, Iris," Belén reiterated.

Iris smirked, tilting her head in that way that told Belén it was already set in stone. "Too late. I just need a name to call you. Do you have one?"

"No," Belén chuckled and sniffed. "Because, as I said, I'm not a hero. I'm not doing this for glory or recognition."

"So why do you?"

"For someone very important in my life," Belén thought to her elder twin brother.

"Yeah?" Iris stepped forwards again. "Well then hear my side. I have this friend, and he had something terrible happen to him when he was a kid. His whole life, he's been telling stories about this impossible thing. And people laughed at him. And shrinks analyzed him. And he's been searching for an explanation ever since. But now, suddenly, it's like he's lost his faith. But you and the Streak... you two are proof that he wasn't crazy. Help me save my friend."

Belén could've burst into more sobs if she didn't have more control of herself. "He is a very lucky guy, you know."

"Believe me, he's not," Iris confided in a dramatic whisper. "He's overly clumsy and everything happens to him whenever it comes to dropping something, crashing into someone, or even just making friends. But this thing that happened to him as a kid, I can help him with that. This is why I'm doing my blog, please help me."

Belén raised a turned palm and slowly created a small, pink flower. But it was a specific flower, one that Iris saw a couple times.

"Is that an Azalea?" she pointed.

"Mhm. It's the source of my powers, apparently," Belén had a vine take the flower to Iris. "The thing about these flowers, they're adorable and they're beautiful...but they are also known for their deadly side."

Iris took the fragile flower into her hands and looked at Belén, confused.

"What I'm intending on doing others may call a suicide mission. I don't want you getting caught in the crossfire because of an article you wrote. Keep the flower, change your blog. Goodbye."

"But-" Iris called to the woman in vain as she dropped from the ledge again. She looked at her new flower and walked back into the building.

~ 0 ~

"Maritza's been slacking," Angie put a laptop in front of Rayan Palayta. "There's a new metahuman in town as reported by Iris West. Doesn't your sister know that girl?"

Rayan snatched the laptop to his lap and read the article Iris had written. "This one's different. She's helping the Streak. See, this is what I knew would happen if we let that speedster keep doing his thing."

Angie got up from the couch, looking suddenly determined. "Let me take care of her. I've been dying to finally debut out in the streets."

Rayan gave her a questionable scoff. "You? Are you serious?"

Angie nodded. "Well, she's not going to want to help you take down Wells and STAR Labs, might as well get her out of the way."

"Fine, but you'll eliminate her without a mistake," Rayan warned.

"Watch me," Angie smirked, more than ready to go out.

~ 0 ~

Belén wasn't sure who'd she find in STAR Labs that early noon she walked in. She didn't exactly know what she was going to tell anyone, much less how to even greet them. But she figured she had to start somewhere.

"Hello?" she peered inside the cortex room, only to find a ginger woman inside.

Bette glanced back and immediately took a defensive stance against her. Belén came out from the side with her hands raised.

"I'm a good one, promise," she said, but Bette still didn't look very convinced.

"Belén," Dr. Wells' voice startled the ombre-blonde from behind and made her spin around to meet the man.

"Dr. Wells," Belén put a hand over her chest, "Sorry, you just…"

"It's nice to see you back," he remarked as he wheeled further inside the room, giving Bette a reassuring nod everything was fine.

"Um, yeah," Belén sighed and turned in their direction. "I think you're probably the only one who can say that about me."

"Nonsense, I'm sure Cisco would be delighted to see you're back. He's in the experiment room if you're looking for him."

"Yeah, actually, I was," Belén glanced towards Bette. "Um, hi. I don't think we've met yet."

"Bette," the ginger said, but she didn't seem quite interested in making conversation. It worked just fine for Belén as she was more interested in seeing her friends.

"Belén," Wells called just as she crossed the doorway, "I know you must be having trouble adjusting to your abilities but please to take in consideration that STAR Labs is always here to help you."

Belén softly smiled at the kind words. "Thank you, Dr. Wells. I may just take your words to heart."

"We'll see what we can do," Wells reassured her and she went on just slightly happier than before. How could she know that he actually could care less whether her abilities developed or not? The only reason he extended the offer was for appearances and because of who she would end up being in the future.

Not to mention the losses she would end up suffering.

~ 0 ~

Cisco was focused hard on some sort of device in his work room when he heard a knock on the door behind.

"Can I come in?" Belén's voice startled him enough to drop what he was holding. She nervously smiled his way as he turned on his chair.

"Belén!"

Belén was relieved when Cisco rushed to meet her with a tight hug. There had to be someone who would be happy to see her right?

"Cisco, it's so good to see you," she pulled away and chuckled. "I missed you."

"Maybe next time you shouldn't leave!" Cisco playfully replied with and led her to a chair next to his.

"You're mad too," Belén sighed and sat down.

"I'm not mad, I'm just...so confused. Why'd you do it? Barry thinks it's because he didn't tell you about...you know…"

"Look, my decision may have taken that as part of the motive but it was also to learn to control myself, to learn how to fight." Belén lightly smiled and put a hand on the table. She let the tips of her nails release thin, small vines that soon rushed to cover up a book nearby. "Two months ago, I could barely do this."

"Barry was right, you were a metahuman," Cisco gawked. "Why did you keep it a secret? We could've helped you."

"Like I told Barry earlier, for me you guys were all just regular people. How could I go up to any of you say 'Oh, by the way guys, I seemed to have developed plant powers'. That's not exactly something easy to say. The only reason Nina knows is because she covered for me at the hospital."

"And she's the he only one that knows…?"

"Yes," Belén eyed him with plead, "And I beg you not to tell anyone out of this building. My dad still thinks I'm at Starling City with my friend Laurel and my mom - as of yesterday night - thinks I'm back with my dad."

"Neither knows where your are then?"

"Not even my sister. And they can't know.'

"But why?"

"Because I have to do something that isn't safe and I don't want any of them getting hurt."

"But...if you're doing this then you're gonna get hurt...and none of us want that."

Belén sighed, giving him a sad look in return. "I don't think 'everyone' can be spoken for."

Cisco immediately understood and reached for her hand, giving a warm pat. "Hey, look, Barry's going to cool down. But no matter what he's said he wouldn't want you getting hurt."

"I want to believe that," Belén whispered, her eyes drifting to the side as she uncharacteristically became quiet.

It was then that Caitlin happened to walk in, and Belén found herself in another round of questions and explanations. She didn't care, though, she was just relieved that Caitlin hadn't expressed any hostility against her (though she knew she very well deserved it). They spoke briefly about her powers, seeing

Belén wasn't very willing to release specific information about that side just yet. Their conversation steered more towards what she was doing in Starling City for the two past months, but even those were given short sentence answers.

They moved back to the main room, where Cisco came to the disappointing news that Bette had decided to leave.

"That's funny," Belén remarked by the side of Cisco's chair, the latter silently pouting for his loss, "She didn't mention anything about leaving when I bumped into her earlier."

"She wasn't doing well," Dr. Wells briefly explained. "Bette's metahuman abilities weren't exactly the best."

"How do you mean?"

"To make it short, Bette is literally a bomb," Caitlin made a face. "Anything she touches goes boom in about five seconds."

"Wow," Belén raised her eyebrows, "That can't be easy. Even with humans?" she asked for a clarification.

"Aha…"

"Ouch," Belén comfortingly placed a hand over Cisco's shoulder. "I'm sorry, Cisco. I'm sure-"

"Don't use the 'there's other fish in the sea' line on me," he playfully warned her, making her chuckle.

Her laughter was cut short when Barry walked into the room. She locked eyes with him and so she straightened up, meekly bidding goodbye. "I should get going…"

"Stay," Caitlin was the one to say, briefly glancing at Barry in a warning manner. She was not going to stand for a childish act from neither side.

"Where's Bette?" Barry decided to focus on anything else that wasn't Belén.

"She left," Cisco answered glumly.

"What do you mean? Where did she go?"

"She didn't say," Dr. Wells gave him the same answer he'd given to the others earlier.

"Well, where the hell could she be? We have to find her, she can't be on her own." Barry walked over to the desk, intending on starting a search for her. Cisco jumped on the opportunity to see the woman again and quickly went to do it himself.

"I got back on the military feed. Looks like they've gone to the waterfront to rendezvous with Bette."

"She's turning herself in," Caitlin realized and quickly looked at the others, all silently agreeing that was most certainly not going to happen.

"She's with the military?" Belén gaped, her eyes widening. "Barry, you can't go in alone. That's too dangerous."

Barry ignored her in favor of retrieving his suit. It had been left out in plain sight now that Belén knew the secret. Iris never came to the building as they had noticed long ago.

"Barry!" she cut him once he returned in the suit. "For God's sake, you're angry with me fine, but that doesn't mean I don't want to help you."

They had a mini-staredown that neither seemed keen on backing down from. Barry was silently wondering where Belén acquired this new sense of boldness she most certainly didn't own two months ago. He left the thought when he remembered Bette was going to get herself into trouble. Without saying a word, he sped out of the room.

Belén bitterly laughed as she spun towards the doors. "He's not getting rid of me that easily."

"What are you planning…?" Cisco recognized that idea expression that was currently taking over her face.

"I learned a new trick while I was gone," Belén gave him a sideways smirk. "Can you give me the location please?"

~ 0 ~

Under certain influence, Bette had planned a fake surrender with General Eiling by the waterfront of the city. But of course, the older man didn't believe it. That was why he was trying to be smart by pitching her an idea he thought she couldn't pass up.

"All over the world, people are plotting to destroy our country. To end our lives. Brave American soldiers are gonna die in that fight, but they don't have to. Because of you, we could have victory."

"All I've ever wanted was to make the world a safer place. And it will be when you're not in it." Bette chucked towards him and the rest of the soldiers small, purple glowing spheres that soon exploded and cause mayhem.

While most soldiers were unconscious, Eiling remained half awake. Bette walked towards him with one hand extended. She would blow him into smithereens. Barry arrived and blocked her way.

"What are you doing here?" Bette gasped at the sight of him.

"Being a soldier doesn't mean you're a murderer. Don't become one now."

In the midst of their distraction, Eiling had raised a gun from his spot on the ground and fired. Bette did a spin and fell to the ground with a bullet lodged in the middle of her chest.

Barry panicked and pulled off his mask as he got down beside her. "I'm sorry. I didn't see him."

"Don't be. It's not your fault. I'm glad you stopped me," Bette flashed a light smile.

"I'm gonna get you back to S.T.A.R. Labs."

Bette shook her head, feeling her strength fading fast. "Barry, Dr. Wells. He... he…" but her eyes closed before she could finish the sentence.

"Barry, watch out!"

Barry glanced over his shoulder in time to see her shoot a couple of thick vines that pinned Eiling to his spot.

"What are you doing here?" Barry hissed, though he still eyed the leather outfit on her. He remembered it vaguely from an old news report Iris once showed him in the past. "You were at Starling City," he whispered his realization. However, the brightening purple glow beside Barry grabbed both their attention.

"She's going to blow up," Belén rushed forwards.

"Guys, we have a problem," Barry spoke with the earpiece.

"Is Bette okay?" came Cisco's anxious voice seconds later.

"No. Eiling killed her. She's glowing. She's gonna detonate."

Caitlin gasped. "Oh, my God, a mass that size, the explosion, it would be... Devastating. Barry, you have to get her away from the city.

"But there's no time…"

Belén glanced towards the waterfront and suddenly shifted to Barry. "Random question...but can you run on water? You know, like they do in the movies?"

At first, Barry was intending on scolding her for asking such a ridiculous question at a time like this...but then he understood. "How fast do I need to go to run on water?" he quickly asked of the STAR Labs employees.

Cisco began making the calculations. "Assuming your weight... 450 pounds of force per step for vertical suspension. Accounting for fluid drag…"

"Approximately 650 miles an hour…" Dr. Wells figured out just before and spoke up.

"You have to outrun the blast or you'll die too," Caitlin warned.

Barry nodded and pulled his mask over his face again. He looked at Belén for a minute, this time not needing to voice his instruction. She got up and took several steps back.

"Stay mad with me if you must, but...good luck," she told him meekly from her spot.

For a minute, Barry's anger faltered. He shook his head then and picked up Bette, finding there was no time to waste. He sped off towards the waterfront, unable to hear Belén's small laugh as she watched him leave.

Her happiness didn't last long when she was shoved to the ground by something behind her. The moment she raised her head she saw blonde streaks of hair.

"Well, this city just doesn't stop with its freaky heroes," the new woman spoke up.

"We're called metahumans," Belén growled and jumped to her feet. "And let me guess, you work with Plasticine too?"

"I don't work for her," the blonde corrected. Belén desperately tried to get some good clues on this woman's identity, but much like Belén and Barry, her face was covered with a pixelated, half-mask. Her attire was a mixture of bright colors but the gold seemed to be her thing. Still, Belén didn't think too much. She thrust her hand forwards and shot a round of thorns in the woman's way. She was careful to have them miss any of the unconscious soldiers nearby.

While some of them did graze the blonde woman, it didn't cause much pain. "Ha! You're not fighting Plasticine now, sweetheart. I'm Pixel!" She literally disintegrated and reappeared behind Belén to give her a good roundhouse kick.

Belén went down to the ground, groaning. They were momentarily struck with a semi-earthquake which turned out to be the reverberation of Bette's explosion from the water. Pixel saw the Streak making way back to them, while simultaneously trying to evade the large wave behind him.

"Better get on with it!" she smirked but Belén shot back with a vine, slamming her down to the ground.

Belén didn't give her a chance to fight back and punched the woman out cold with another vine, least that's what she thought. Pixel, holding back her groans, reached for something in her back.

"Don't get near her!" Barry's sharp, irritated shout made Belén flinch and freeze on her spot. "She's dangerous."

"This isn't Plasticine!" Belén turned to him. "This is someone new! Don't you see? They're gaining numbers! And I have to know what it's got to do with my brother! I'll-"

A second gunshot rang in the air.

Belén gasped before falling over.

Barry acted fast and sped towards her, catching her mere inches from the ground. Her mask has dissolved into nothing, giving a clear view of her face.

"Oh my God…" Pixel muttered from her spot on the ground, her hand still holding the gun.

Normally, Barry would've fought off the man until he had answers but Belén's current condition required immediate attention. Without saying a word, he sped out of the place.

~ 0 ~

The first thing Belén was aware of when she became mildly conscious was the sharp pain on her lower back. She registered the fact she was on a bed of some sort. So, when she opened her eyes and saw she was in the STAR Labs room, it came as no surprise.

"O-ow…" she groaned and turned her head to the side, hoping that whatever hurt just stopped.

"You can't heal fast, can you?"

"Hmm?"

Barry was leaning against the threshold, his arms crossed. Belén could only look at him for so long before remembering all of that day.

"My genes didn't change like yours did," she replied quietly, her eyes drifting to a metal, wheeled table against a wall on her left. "Though my body does seem act more like a mushy ground for light injuries, more severe ones will affect me like normal."

"Do you remember what happened?"

"Um...there was Pixel, and then...I punched her...then you came, and...there was a funny noise in the air…"

"You were shot," Barry reminded, slowly leaning off the hinge.

"Hmm," Belén mused with a crooked smile. "I suppose this was all planned by Plasticine. It only makes sense."

"Why would they want you dead?" Barry asked the pressing question.

"It's kind of obvious, Barry. They're bad guys, it's what they do."

"Don't insult my intelligence," Barry shook his head. "Funny thing, I was going over Iris' blog and it just so happens she posted something new about a certain metahuman...that arrived from Starling City."

"Can we not do-"

"You left Central City with Felicity, didn't you?"

And there was the ringing question Belén had dreaded of the moment she returned.

"Yes, yes I did," she whispered.

"All this time I have felt completely awful about our argument that day. I understand it was difficult for you to forgive me for keeping all this-" he gestured to the lab "-a secret from you. I get it. But you did not have the right to turn the tables on me." By this time, he had begun to pace and Belén's eyes struggled to follow him throughout the room. "Because I don't care what you say, you were trying to get payback. But to put yourself in danger by actually going with the Arrow - and don't deny that's where you went because the news reports say otherwise - was completely ridiculous! I know the Arrow, I know what he does, and what he does is not what you should be learning!"

"You're right," Belén finally inputted a word, "about almost everything."

"Well…" Barry made a face at her, intending on staying mad but the way her glossy green eyes were looking at him made it more difficult. He exhaled dramatically and walked over to a chair, bringing it beside her.

"I did leave to get payback, and for that I'm sorry," Belén sighed. "But that wasn't my main reason. I realized that I didn't have control over myself, emotionally and physically."

"You're a metahuman, we could've helped you."

"No, you couldn't have. You would go incredibly easy on me and who would win there? Caitlin would go all 'mom' on me whenever I got a scratch. Cisco...well, Cisco would be the worst of them all. I love him but he's an overprotective friend. The only one that would perhaps help me for real would be Dr. Wells. Going with Felicity seemed like the only logical thing to do. It wasn't easy to convince Oliver - er, the Arrow - to help me, but Felicity stepped in and then my friend Laurel. When he agreed he saw me as nothing more than a student. There was no easy win, no light training. That is what I needed."

"And in the meantime not even a call ever crossed your mind? We were worried sick over you, Belén. Having your father tell us you were fine wasn't what we were looking for."

"I'm sorry…"

"You should be," Barry said firmly, but this time Belén noticed there was a lighter tone in his voice.

"I''m sorry I made you feel bad for two months. You have every right to be mad with me," Belén sighed in resignation.

"I was mad...and then someone shot you. I lost someone I barely started considering a friend, I don't really want to lose someone I've known longer."

"I wouldn't like to lose a friend like you either…"

There was a minute of silence afterwards.

"How about we move forwards, then?" Barry asked, giving her a light smile. "Maybe we can get back to where we were before all this happened."

Belén chuckled, and for a moment Barry couldn't tell if it was a genuine laugh or if it was an after effect of the anesthesia Nina put on her earlier. "Barry, I think that's quite impossible. You now run faster than the speed of light, and I'm part plant. I don't think we can ever get back to where we were."

"Sorry, Belén…"

"You know…you can start calling me Bells again if you'd like. My friends usually do that…"

Barry laughed and nodded his head. "Bells. That does feel nice to say again."

Belén smiled for a moment before feeling another jab of pain on her back. "Oh, that hurts."

"Oh, don't try to move much!" Barry quickly instructed. "The others should be back and Cait will help you with your things."

"Guess it's a good thing no one knows I'm back," Belén forced herself to sit up a little.

"Cisco told me about your little idea and your suicide mission. I don't agree with your strategies."

"Well, it's a good thing I didn't ask."

"Belén, you're doing this for Rayan, aren't you?"

The way Belén remained silent told Barry all he wanted to know.

"I thought you gave up on that…"

"Because I couldn't defend myself nor my family," Belén shook her head. "But now that I can, I am going to keep looking for my brother. Plasticine sending Pixel after me is proof enough that there's something going on concerning my brother. I have to find him, whether he's alive or...dead," she gulped at the idea, "But I have to find him so that I can finally put this all to rest."

"You want to find him?"

"Yes, I do."

"And you're not gonna stop at anything?"

"Nope."

"Fine, then STAR Labs is also going to help you."

"What?"

Barry stood up from his chair, looking like there was nothing else to discuss. "Now that you know who I am, and that you do have powers, we can work together - side by side - and find your brother."

"B-Barry, I can't...I can't ask you to do that," Belén said, the idea making he stomach churn.

"It's a good thing I wasn't asking, then," Barry flashed her a smirk.

"But...but you...you can't...n-not…" Belén was left sputtering as Barry turned to leave. "I don't want you helping me!"

"It's too late for that!"

Belén tried getting out of the bed but her back still hurt far too much for any movements like that. She was forced back to her bed. "Barry Allen, you get back here right now!"

Barry listened to her her shouting as he made his way out of the room, wearing a very widened smirk across his lips.

Just one small payback wouldn't hurt anyone.

[diredigression]

Abernathy Farm

The next installment in Sole’s post-frozen-dinner adventures!

You may notice I’ve changed tense and also some other dialectical details to better match the voice in Sole’s head. I'm also attempting to write Sole with PTSD, but I don't have actual experience with it so CC welcome!

CW: some violence, some PTSD

————————————————

The next day, all sign of the barely-sentient body that she had spoonfed for days is gone. Mr.. Garvey is once again the confident, in-charge Minuteman she met in Concord. “Sturges, great job on the construction! This place is practically draft-proof. And you’ve even got gardens and a water supply? Always knew I could count on you.”

Mr. Sturges hides a slight blush under a wide grin. “This place is really coming together, huh? I can’t take all the credit, though. Sole and Codsworth have really put the interior and garden together, not to mention taking over all the cooking duties!”

Mr. Garvey turns to her. “Thank you, Sole. I can’t say how lucky we are to have you with us.”

She smiles and bows her head delicately at the acknowledgment. “Just doing my part, Mr. Garvey. But, if I may, why did you call me Sole?”

He laughs, a belly-deep sound of delight. She recognizes this, logically, though her brain doesn’t connect with an echoing joy. “No need for ‘Mister Garvey’ here. Hell, you just saved us from a deathclaw and fed me for days. I think that puts us on first-name basis.” His tone suddenly switches to somber and hesitant. “He called you ‘Sole’ because that’s all you gave us instead of a name…You just said ‘I’m the sole survivor.’ What is your name? …Do you know it?”

I’m the sole survivor. She distantly feels a pressure in her chest, like the unease of far-off thunder. Name. She has a name, right? She fights to bring her mind back to the present question, racking her memories, but all she can reliably bring up is the past few days of work. And flashes of scenes, more feeling than picture. The desolation of her first view of the waste, from the top of the vault. The clinical unfamiliarity of the vault suit she still wears.

The vault of death.

Invisible chains suddenly bind her chest and she finds herself collapsing to the ground. Both men rush to her side, but her arm flails to swat them away as she buries her face in her knees and curls around herself as tightly as she can. She freezes there, unaware of the men watching or the passage of time, until the panic finally begins to ease its grip.

She raises her head, muscles still tense, and finds herself looking into the two men’s concerned faces.

“Sole? You okay?”

Her eyes drop. She breathes. Out, in. Out, in. Until she knows her panic is locked away again.

Then she plasters a carefree smile on her face and begins struggling to push herself upright. Mr. Garvey offers a hand, which she accepts.

“I’m so sorry about that, I’m perfectly alright. Just a little lightheaded. Yes, please, just call me Sole. I’m afraid I’ll need to rest for some time, but I’ll see you gentlemen for dinner, yes?”

The concern stiffens on Mr. Sturges’ face and deepens on Mr. Garvey’s. The two men look at each other.

“Very well,” says Mr. Garvey. “Sleep well, Sole.

———

After breakfast the next morning, Mr. Garvey begins filling a pair of packs. Mr. Sturges raises an eyebrow.

“Where we headed?”

Mr. Garvey frowns at the small pile of goods in front of him. “I think I heard of a settlement just west of us. We’ve made a really good start here, but we’re running out of supplies. I figure we go see if they have anything they can spare.”

Mr. Sturges nods. “I could use some materials for crafting too.”

Sole listens to their conversation from the kitchen, where she washes breakfast dishes in a bucket of water. More survivors nearby?

“Hey Sole, you met the neighbors yet?”

She starts. “Nossir, I haven’t.”

“Wanna join the welcome party?”

“I’ll come along if you’d like.”

“It’s a party then!”

Sole helps pack some food for the trip. Pretty soon they’re ready to go. As they pull on their packs, a round silver robot floats into the room.

“Mum? May I have a moment?”

“Of course, Codsworth. What is it?”

The robot lifts two of his long, jointed arms towards her. In the end clamps is held a silver softball bat. It’s clean and shiny, but scratched, and the Red Rockettes logo is still faintly visible. The handle is wrapped in athletic tape that has greyed and lost its stickiness, beginning to unravel.

“Oh, Codsworth! My bat, you kept it ready for me!”

“Of course, mum, I know how important your softball is to you. I’d hoped you’d have a chance to use it again.”

She takes the bat and automatically shifts into a casual batting stance. The weight of the aluminum is familiar in her hands, and a smile appears on her face as she takes a careful practice swing.

“Nice swatter you’ve got!” says Mr. Garvey. “That’ll be a good weapon for you, since you didn’t seem too comfortable with guns.”

Her joy turns to disgust and she clutches the bat to her chest, forgetting her manners. “What?! No, this is for softball! This isn’t a weapon!”

“Haha, what? I don’t know what vault you came from, but no one’s played softball or baseball in two hundred years. Surprised they didn’t mention it. Weapon’s all it’s good for now. I bet Sturges could mod it for you to make it more effective.”

There’s a lot to unpack in his statement, but Sole chooses to focus on the simplest part. The rest gets locked away. The rest, for now, doesn’t exist. “No, Mr. Sturges is not touching my bat. Codsworth, thank you, now please take this back and keep it safe for me for now.”

“Yes, mum.”

Mr. Garvey frowns. The bat safely out of harm’s reach again, Sole has lost her bravery and feels a familiar fear and shame begin to knot in her stomach at the sight. Dammit, she’s spoken out too bluntly. She’s hesitant and worried now. “What is it, Mr. Garvey?”

“…It’s just Preston, and I just want you to have a weapon. You need to be able to defend yourself. You know that, right?”

She does not, and she doesn’t know how to respond either. She folds her hands together in front of her and looks at the floor.

“Okay…do you know how to fight with a knife?” A head shake no. “A 10 mil?” No. “…knuckles? Can you punch?” No.

He sighs. “Even Diamond City residents are better prepared than this. Okay. Do you think you could swing a crowbar?”

She has nothing else to do, so she nods.

“Good. Sturges should have one lying around, and I’ve got some spare armor we can at least put you in. I’m not letting you go around unprotected.”

She allows herself to be dressed in the bulky leather armor. Soon she’s following Mr. Garvey out of Sanctuary, the heavy crowbar hanging awkwardly from her hand.

—————

Sole is harvesting melons, young miss Lucy Abernathy’s request in exchange for a few stims and some other supplies Mr. Garvey had requested, when she overhears him and the family patriarch talking in low tones.

“Most of them died. They gave their lives to protect the Commonwealth. It’s just me now.”

“That’s a damn shame. Those were brave men and women. If y’all had been here when those raiders hit, my daughter Mary might still be alive. Then again…feels like we’ve been on our own for a long time anyway.”

“Damn…I’m sorry to hear that. I wish we could’ve helped. You have my condolences. Is there anything we could do to help now?”

Mr. Abernathy had been despondent, hanging in the air as if the only thing keeping him upright was an invisible string at the nape of his neck. At first he just shrugs, head drooping and swaying gently. Then he pauses, then straightens slightly.

“I don’t have much to offer, but…Those raiders that killed Mary, they took her locket, too. It’s been in Connie’s family for generations. If you could get it back…it’d mean a lot to us.”

Mr. Garvey straightens his hat proudly. “I’d be honored to. You have my word as a Minuteman, I will do everything in my power to return that locket to you and Connie.”

Mr. Abernathy nods, a specter of a smile finally appearing on his face. You might be the one to make me believe the word of a Minuteman again. Thank you, Garvey.”

They shake hands and part. Sole gathers up the melons and heads towards the ramshackle house.

—————

They crouch behind a barbed-wire fence, watching the forested, still remains of USAF Satellite Station Olivia. Mr. Garvey watches the station from her left, while Codsworth hovers at her right, his thruster humming in the quiet. She’s not sure why she’s here or still armored or why Mr. Garvey is suddenly so cautious. He had just assumed she would join, so she did. They had stopped briefly at Sanctuary to reorganize their new supplies, talked briefly with Mr. Sturges, who had chosen to stay behind, and also talked with Codsworth, who had insisted on coming with Sole. Mr. Garvey’s laser musket is in his hands, while Codsworth’s three eyestalks scan the surroundings fretfully. Sole grips her crowbar tighter as their tension fills her.

Mr. Garvey turns to her. “The place looks empty, maybe they’re out somewhere else, but we can’t be sure,” he whispers. “We’re gonna try to just get in, find the locket, and get out. No heroics, no unnecessary risk. Stay well behind Codsworth and me and try to stay out of trouble. Got it?”

She’s not sure she gets much of anything. She nods anyway.

“Alright. Stay here for the moment until Codsworth and I give the all-clear.” He looks at the robot, who bobs an agreement. The two cross the fence and stalk towards the structures.

They’ve made it halfway when the ground erupts beneath them. A pack of malformed, dog-sized animals surrounds them, attacking. Sole screams, forgetting their attempts at subtlety. Mr. Garvey roars too, and the area lights up with his laser bolts and Codsworth’s flamethrower. The creatures’ screams are added to the din.

Then Mr. Garvey pauses and gestures wildly past the robot. “It’s mined!”

A massive explosion erupts. Sole is knocked backwards, and she scrambles to get her head under her hands. She huddles there where she’s landed, hiding under her hands, waiting for the next attack.

There’s only silence.

After several moments of frantic heartbeats, she summons the courage to turn and crawl back to the fence. The area in front of the station is now a dark blast zone, animal carcasses scattered around. She doesn’t look too closely at them. She releases a breath as she finds Mr. Garvey and Codsworth, singed but alive, picking themselves off the ground. Mr. Garvey rubs his ears, shakes his head vigorously, retrieves his musket, then looks towards her and gestures Come here. She crosses the fence and hesitantly picks her way forward, scanning for more of the creatures.

“Don’t worry, I think we got them all. You okay?”

“What on earth just happened? Are you okay? Codsworth?”

“These idiots apparently decided that strapping mines to a molerat was a good defense mechanism. It’s amazing they didn’t blow themselves up. We’ll have to keep an eye out for more traps inside.”

“Molerats? No. They don’t get that big. No. They must be…uh…”

Mr. Garvey frowns as she flounders, but Codsworth floats up and pats her shoulder with a claw, awkward and a little overly aggressive. “No worries, mum, they’re gone now. You don’t have to bother with them anymore.”

She stares at him, searching for confidence in the large glass eyes and finding enough to ease her panic slightly. “Alright. Um. I left the crowbar…” She runs back to grab it from where it dropped and returns. Mr. Garvey looks to the station door, breathes deeply, and opens it.

———————

The station is quiet. They make it to the bottom with no problems. They separate and begin searching the scattered toolboxes and desks for the locket.

“Hey, I found a key!” Mr. Garvey calls. “Think it opens that security door?”

It does, and he murmurs a small “Yes!” at the sight of the room and the supplies it contains. He quickly loops it, throwing the assorted weaponry into his pack. One item—is that a mini nuke?!—he cradles gently and wraps in a cloth before carefully stowing.

Then Codsworth’s aggressive shout from where he’d been stationed on guard in the hallway. “Hello! Fancy a bit of fist-a-cuffs, do we?”

Mr. Garvey whips around to Sole—”Stay here!”—grabs his musket and charges into the hallway. Sole freezes in a corner of the room. Yells come from the hallway.

A man charges into the room where Sole cowers. She notices the remarkably straight mohawk on his otherwise-bald head. She notices the cloth strips wrapping his arms and the armor pads on his legs and chest. She notices the knife in his hand. She notices the gaps in his teeth as he grins rabidly at her and shouts, “Come on, little girl! Let’s do this!”

Sole is frozen. The man dodges towards her, almost like a herding dog expecting a sheep to flee, but then realizes she’s not moving. His wild grin widens. “Too fuckin easy.” He moves closer.

The sound from the hallway fades as Sole’s world spirals down to the filthy face approaching her. Her breathing is rapid; his is heavy and gasping. He approaches until his face is right in hers. He raises the knife to her face. She can smell his rank breath and, separately, his rank body. He looms over her, and she manages to move just enough to stumble back, away from him, into a corner. He follows, never letting the distance increase. The sharp tip of the knife gently scrapes down her face. His eyes follow, and descend lower down her body, the grin never fading. “Ain’t you a pretty little thing.”

She can feel the crowbar in her hand, but she can’t manage to use it, even in the face of certain danger. His eyes return to her face. As he meets her eyes, she realizes that his are a startling light blue. They would be handsome, if he weren’t currently pressing a knife against her face. She realizes that he’s very young. Certainly much younger than she is. Just a boy, really. What is he doing here? What is he doing with a knife?

“Sorry, girly. It was fun while it lasted.” The boy’s grin turns to a snarl as he retracts the knife and then shoves it into her side.

————————

“Sole! Sole!”

“Mum!”

Her consciousness slowly returns to her body. Her arms are still flailing, and she stills them. Mr. Garvey rushes towards her and grabs her shoulders, pulling the crowbar from her limp hands.

“I’m so sorry we let him get through! There was a minigun…ah hell, you’re bleeding! Where are you hurt? Here, sit down…maybe not here…come over here…” He leads her to a chair, catching her when she takes a step and nearly falls. The stumble pulls her side, and she realizes it hurts. Mr. Garvey pulls off her armor and Codsworth digs through a pack. A blinding pain in her side; then, slowly, the pain is replaced by the itch of flesh stitching back together, beginning from deep under her ribcage.

Her eyes begin to clear. She watches Mr. Garvey replace the top on a bottle of alcohol. She glances over his shoulder.

The man—the boy—is there. He’s on the floor. His head has been replaced by a bloody pulp.

She leans over and vomits.

[xswestallen]

Better Late Than Never

Summary: Barry and Iris attend their ten year high school reunion.

A/N: I had a lot of fun writing this. I love jealous Iris. Requested by curveyhunnie. If you have any requests, feel free to send them to me.

Barry fumbled with his tie in front of the mirror. Since high school, he's become become a genius forensic scientist and the superhero vigilante, but he still hasn't mastered neckties. After 5 minutes of frustration, he gives in.

"Iris......" he turns to see her already waiting behind him with a clip on tie and a smirk. He snatches it from her hand as his cheeks turn pink.

Iris giggles. "Why are you nervous? It's just a stupid high school reunion."

"A lot of people we used to know are going to be there. Most of whom remember me as the weird, nerdy boy who's mom got murdered by his dad and now he believes in conspiracy theories. I want them to realize that they were wrong. Not just about the impossible being possible and my dad being innocent, but about me in general. I'm more than just a nerd." Barry says as he fixes his hair.

"Of course you're more than just a nerd, baby. You're also really attractive." Iris teases. She holds his chin and the he can't help the way the coroners of his lips raise. "I still don't understand why we can't just stalk them on Facebook from the comfort of our couch while eating ice cream."

Barry rolls his eyes and gives her a peck on the lips. "You don't understand because you were cool back then. I'm cool now."

Iris raises an eyebrow. "Babe, you use the word 'whom'. Ok, you're still not cool."

Barry feigned anger. "I knew I should've asked Cisco to go with me." he says, pushing her against the wall "But he takes forever to get ready, so I guess I'm stuck with you." Iris' smile is eclipsed by Barry's lips. He gently tugs on her lower lip, causing her breath to hitch. She opens her mouth, inviting him in. Just as heat starts rising in Iris, Barry pulls away. "You're not going to distract me. We're going."

"Fine." Iris sighs.

Barry resumes styling his hair. Iris goes upstairs to get the fancy heels she picked out for tonight. They're in her childhood bedroom. She and Barry are staying at Joe's house tonight since it's closer to the high school than the loft. When Iris comes back down the staircase, Barry is waiting for her by the door. The addition of high heels to her outfit doesn't go unnoticed. Barry's eyes are fixated on long legs, which look even longer now.

"I'm ready." Iris tells him.

Barry doesn't reply. He's still staring at her, smiling like an idiot.

"What is it?" Iris asks.

Barry shrugs. "It's like deja vu. We're at the house, getting ready to go to CC High. You look stunning. I'm hopelessly in love with you." Iris tilts of her and bats her eyes. "It's just like old times." Barry finishes. He put on his jacket and takes her hand. "Except," His eyes look adoringly into hers. His other hand caresses her cheek. "Now I get to tell you, and everyone else, how much I love you."

Iris goes weak in the knees. "Barrrrryyyy..." she says.

Barry often makes statement like that. Sweet, heartfelt declarations of his life long love for her, that she doesn't know to respond to. A kiss usually works, so Iris reaches up to neck and pulls his lips to hers. Iris wants the kiss to last all night long, who cares about the stupid reunion. But Barry breaks away, not persuaded by the longing look she gives him.

"I'm driving us." Iris says, pulling her car keys out of her purse.

"Just like old times." Barry repeats, remembering how she'd drive them since he didn't have a license.

The Central City High School gymnasium is filled balloons, streamers, a banner reading "Welcome Back Class of 2007", loud music, and barely recognizable people. Barry and Iris enter and are flooded by nostalgia. "Look," Iris points to a corner of the gym, "I threw up there once." They both laugh. "And the punch bowl is in the same spot they put it in for prom!"

Barry's arm is around Iris and she's leaning into him. They pick up their name tags and join the crowd of their former classmates. They make small talk with a few of Iris' old friends from the cheerleading squad, laugh at stories told by the valedictorian about his time in Amsterdam, and cringe at the jocks who peaked in high school. A few people apologize to Barry for comments they made about his father. It means a lot to Barry. The chemistry teacher tells Barry how proud she is that he achieved his dream of being a forensic scientist. After using the ladies' room, Iris visits the vending machine in the hallway she used to get snack from every afternoon. It still steals quarters.

When Iris returns to the reunion, she scans the crowd for Barry. Her eyes bulge and her blood pressure increases when she spots the name tag of the girl standing next to him.

It's Bec-ky Coo-per.

Iris walks right up to Barry and throws herself at him. She's kissing him with jealous passion, desperate for more of him. Barry stiffens at first, completely shocked by her sudden reappearance and outburst of affection. But then, he kisses her back. Their tongues dance together. Iris presses against him, feeling like nothing is close enough for her liking. She lifts a leg around him and he holds it up under her knee.

Iris' lips leave Barry's. "You're so hot, baby." she whispers, purposefully loud enough for Becky to hear. Iris can't keep her lips off him, so she kisses all over his face, his jaw, his neck. Her hands are running through his hair, messing it up. She yanks off the clip-on tie and starts buttoning his shirt. His collar bones are revealed and Iris waste no time before kissing them. Barry doesn't understand why Iris is doing this but it's ridiculously hot and he hopes she continues.

"Umm, I'm gonna go..." Becky says.

Only then does Iris cease her relentless kissing of Barry's body. He looks disappointed. Smudges of Iris' deep red lipstick mark up his face and neck.

"Oh, Bec-ky." Iris fakes a smile. She put her left hand on Barry's chest, flashing her wedding ring. "I didn't see you there."

"I always knew you liked him!" Becky laughs. "I think that's why we didn't get along. Anyway, see ya."

Becky walks away and Iris watches her leave with a smug expression. Barry bites his lip and glares at Iris. Once Bec-ky is out of sight, Iris turns back to Barry and buttons his shirt back up.

"I don't know what came over me." Iris confesses.

"Whatever it was, I liked it." Barry assures her, easing Iris' embarrassment slightly. He gives her a hug.

"Can we go now?" Iris asked, hopefully.

They sat in the parked car for a little while. Iris was mortified by her own behavior. "I saw her over here talking to you and something in me just.... snapped." Iris whispers with her face in his neck. "I wanted to claw her eyes out. I wanted to sink to my knees and suck your dick right there in front of her."

Barry gulped. His brain offers no suggestion of what to say next, except 'please do.'

"Uh, did you know that Patagonian maras get jealous too? They pee on their mate to mark their territory."

Barry regrets the words as soon as they leave his mouth. He needed to say something, but holy shit does he wish he said something else.

Iris screwed up her face in disgust. "Eww. Are you saying I'm like the Patagonian maras?"

"No! No, no not at all. I was jus-" Barry spluttered.

"Why do you even know that?"

"Well, I just, I, it.................... I'm not cool."

They both erupted in laughter.

"Just like old times." Iris said once the laughter subsided. "Nerdy Barry, my best friend."

He blushes. Their arms warm around one another. Exchanging looks of admiration, they're both blushing now.

"Becky was right." Iris admits.

"About what?"

"I did like you. Fuck, I was in love with you. I just didn't realize it was love. It was so natural to me that I didn't even think about it. I thought everyone felt that way about their best friend."

Barry smiles a somber smile. "I almost told you how I felt about you when we were dancing in this gym at our junior prom."

"Why didn't you?" Iris asks.

He's kicking himself for missing out on all those years he could've been more than friends with Iris. "I was a coward."

"Don't say that. You're the bravest person I know."

"You've always been my favorite person."

"And you've always been mine, Bear." They kiss, this time it's soft and sweet. Decades of love conveyed through their lips.

"I should've thrown myself at you like that at junior prom." Iris laments.

Barry beams. "Well, better late than never."

Iris climbs over the center console to share Barry's seat. He gladly welcomes the uncomfortable lack of space. Their next kiss is far less chaste. Iris is straddling Barry, his hands gripping her ass. The buttons of his shirt are being undone again. Her hands make the mess of his hair even messier.

Iris suddenly needs to know, "Do these seats go all the way back?"

[firesoulstuff]

26 or 35 and cc please!

I realize you said “or” but I still did them both!

Read on AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/12378978/chapters/29737536

Surprise

“Ugh, I’m dying…” Sara groans asshe pulls her head away from the bowl of the toilet and tries to get in abreath without inhaling the nauseatingly strong scent of the clean water that’spouring back into the toilet.

“I can assure you Miss Lance thatyou are not dying, but only experiencing morning sickness; typical during thefirst trimester of pregnancy.” Gideon’s ever helpful and barely sympatheticvoice sounds out from the ceiling above her, “Though your morning sickness hasbeen more on the sever side, it is not at the point of putting you in anydanger. I can admit you to the med bay for fluids, if you would like.”

Sara, feeling some semblance ofbetter, and fairly certain that she’s finished with vomiting for the timebeing, presses her hand against the wall and brings herself up to her feet.

“Thanks Gideon, but I think I’lljust give the home remedies another go.” She insists, she had allowed Gideon togive her an IV last week and it did help a little, but not enough that she’swilling to tie herself to the med bay chair again any time soon.

There’s a knock on the bathroomdoor, just as she gets to her feet, and she opens it to see Jax standing beforeher.

“Oh sorry,” He says, clearlyuncomfortable and she cracks a smile for him.

“No worries,” she promises,stepping out of the bathroom. “I was just heading out.”

“How are you feeling today?” Heasks, caring as ever, and the two of them begin heading down the hall towardsthe galley.

“Miss Lance is under the impressionthat she is dying,” Gideon chimes in before Sara can even answer, to which theblonde rolls her eyes and Jax winces with sympathy.

“So… not good?” He guesses, buttough as always Sara only shrugs.

“Not great,” she admits, “But I’llmanage.”

“You could still get off the ship,”Jax suggests hopefully. It’s not that he wants Sara to leave, far from it, buteven with her not going out in the field anymore (unless they’re in seriousneed of back up, but they are all doing their very best to avoid getting tothat point.) the ship still isn’t the best place for her. Time travel is,apparently, perfectly safe for pregnant women, even though they all believeit’s at least part of the reason her morning sickness has been so bad. None ofthem like watching her suffer the way she does when she races to the bathroomto empty her stomach, and it would put all of their minds at ease to see heraway from danger, even though they all know she’ll still be their best warrioreven at nine months.

“No,” she insists firmly,practically rounding on him. “We’ve been through this; time travel is perfectlysafe, so I’m staying on board until I can’t fit in the flight seat anymore.”She’s only half joking, Jax thinks, even as she glances down to her stillmostly flat stomach; her tiny bump barely evident through her tank top. “And bythe looks of things, that’s still a few months off.”

Jax rolls his eyes as she smirksheading into the galley. He supposes it’s best the others see her laughing,even if it is at his expense, she hates it when they all give her thatunavoidable look of pity when she drags herself in from the bathroom eachmorning.

“Good morning Miss Lance, Mr.Jackson.” Rip says as they walk in, distracted as always, this time withcleaning up his half finished breakfast. “I suggest the two of you eat quickly,we have a mission in 1980 for an aberration.”

“Great,” Sara huffs as she grabs abanana, “If anyone needs me after we land, I’ll be in the bathroom.”

 The aberration turned out to be aJohn Doe found unconscious in the park of a small town. Normally something likethis wouldn’t be a problem, but the detective leading the case is set totransfer to halfway across the country where he will end up leading the case onthe murder of John Lennon. Something that he will never do so long as this JohnDoe remains his current focus, according to Gideon.

They weren’t expecting removing theJohn Doe to be exceptionally difficult, even after they were informed that he’sawake and suffering from amnesia, and it wasn’t. Nothing about the mission wasdifficult, not in the least; it went off without a hitch.

Except for the fact that John Doeisn’t their average aberration, he’s Leonard Snart.

Stein’s theory is that the blastfrom the Oculus could’ve hurdled their teammate throughout time until he landedwhere he did, and either the landing or the flying through time and space ingeneral is responsible for the amnesia. Gideon agreed with that theory whenSara relayed it to her, given that Stein explained all of this to her throughthe comms.

The guys ended up bringing Len backto the ship, hoping to jog his memory or at the very least see if Gideon could.Sara though, she’s been holed up in her room ever since they got back. Shecan’t face him, can’t look into his eyes and face him not knowing who she is.She looks down at her barely protruding stomach with a small frown, resting herhand over it. If he were found as himself, if he could remember, she couldprobably meet him in the training room in her leggings and sports bra to watchhis face as he noticed. But now… now she’s a stranger to him. He doesn’tremember her, doesn’t remember her body. She could wear, or not wear, anythingshe has in her wardrobe and the chances that he would realize that the tinyswell of her abdomen is a baby he unknowingly left her with before he “died”are slim to none.

Still, sitting on her bed withtears in her eyes isn’t solving anything.

Getting up and wiping her eyes sheheads to the med bay and as she reaches the door her breath catches in herthroat. He’s sitting in the chair, one of Gideon’s bracelet’s around his wrist,and looking bored out of his mind. She stays where she is for a moment, andeventually he looks up. His eyes are wary, searching her face like he knowshe’s supposed to know her, but by now he’s probably realized that he’s supposedto know everyone on this ship.

“Hey,” she says softly, a smile onher face as she walks into the room and pulls up a seat beside him. “How’s theamnesia?”

He’s watching her nervously, likehe’s afraid of hurting her feelings by telling her what she already knows.“Your talking computer thinks it’ll go away,” he says and she can’t help but tosmile more at the hope that gives her.

“Well, you remember what a computeris, so that’s a good sign.” She teases and he points a mocking finger at her.

“I was stranded in the 80’s not thestone age.” He mocks and she smirks, an expression that he returns, before hisface grows serious again. “Bits and pieces have been coming back, since theybrought me here, something about familiar surroundings or something like that.”He tells her and she nods, listening intently as he continues. “While I was inthe hospital, I couldn’t remember anything. But when I went to sleep I wouldhave these dreams. Just little snippets of images, flashes of blue and whitelights, fire, and people.” He pauses for a second, thinking, trying so hard toremember something that he can’t. “Some of them are here,” he finally says,“Most of them, actually; including you.”

He watches her for a reaction, butaside from her eyes finally meeting his she doesn’t give one. It’s a good sign,she knows, that something in is subconscious remembers her, but it’s notenough. He doesn’t know who she is, and the way he’s looking at her tells herthat he’s wishing he could. He wants her to tell him who she is, but how canshe? How could she ever explain they were never really more than friends, thatthey hadn’t gotten that far yet but damn they were close? How could she everexplain-

Ohcrap.

In one swift motion she’s on herfeet and racing over to the sink built into the wall at the end of the med bay,just barely making it in time for her lunch to come flying back up.

“Are you ok?” Leonard asks after afew minutes, once she seems to be finished with her sudden bought of illnessand is straightening up.

“Yeah, it’s nothing.” He raises askeptical eyebrow at her, silently calling her bluff, and she rolls her eyes.“What the hell, you’re going to find out anyway.” She says mostly to herselfbefore she meets his gaze. “It’s morning sickness, I’m pregnant.” She tells himsimply and his eyes widen, and then flick down to her stomach, and then back upto her face.

“Well…” He drawls, sounding almost…disappointed? “Congratulations.”

She forces a smile, because that’sthe thing to do when a stranger congratulates you on something, and a strangeris exactly what he is right now.

“Get some rest Leonard,” sheinstructs, leaving him there, knowing she won’t be able to handle it if he asksher who the father is.

 “Long day?”

Sara snaps her attention to thegalley doorway. It’s late, very late. Most of the team went to bed hours ago,but she’s still sitting here absentmindedly stirring a teabag around her mug,and Leonard is apparently spying on her from the doorway.

“You could say that,” She partiallychuckles, “How about you?”

He doesn’t answer right away.Instead he takes his time walking into the galley, strolling around the roomuntil he pulls out the barstool just one over from her and sits himself down.

“I still don’t think I remembereverything,” he warns her, “But I took your advice and got some rest, and Iremembered a lot when I woke up.” He pauses for a moment, glancing down at herstomach before back to her face with a frown. “So, who beat me to that futurewith you?”

She laughs, actually laughs, andthen laughs even more at the confusion on his face.

“Sorry just… about the baby… it’syours.”

He’s silent.

He’s not smiling, he’s notfrowning, he’s just looking at her like a deer in the headlights. Eventuallyher own amused smile starts to fade, her face morphing into concern as the fearcreeps in that he’s angry.

“Len?” She eventually asks, leaningover the empty seat between them. “Leonard, are you-?” She doesn’t get tofinish, because his lips crash onto hers in a hard kiss that she finds herselfmelting into.

The kiss lasts until their forcedto part for air, though by that time they’re on their feet and the extra chairhas been pushed out of the way. Len’s hands settle onto her hips, his thumbsbrushing lightly over her abdomen.

“Stolen kiss, you are one hell of athief.” She muses with a smile and he smirks at her.

“And don’t you forget it.”

She chuckles at him as he pulls herback in for another kiss. She wraps her arms tightly around his neck.

They don’t stay in the galley allnight, and even though she can tell he’s lying Sara humors him when Len tellsher he can’t remember the way to his own room. Hers is closer anyway, so it’seasier if they both go there.

[canaryatlaw]

alright, well today was pretty great. I managed to wake up at 9 am for no reason in particular and couldn’t fall back asleep, so I got up and had some breakfast while going on my laptop. I wanted to get through the few other things on my to do list, so I started by going through the bottom shelf of my nightstand since I did the top shelf yesterday. so I took a while sorting through that, then moved on to sewing a few random holes that have popped up in various clothing (in this case, three pairs of pants). It’s not that I’m bad at hand sewing, it’s just that my hands get so shaky it takes me forever to thread the needle (though I did get a few of the little needle threader things which are immensely helpful) and then tie the appropriate knots in the right places before I actually get the sewing started. Once I’m actually sewing I’m good with that, it just takes forever to actually get there lol. but I finished those up and had some lunch while going on my laptop and getting a few things done. I then spent a while doing the “filler” pages in my scrapbook with the extra photos I’d gotten printed, which took a while to fit together in a way I was pleased with but I got that done and was pleased that it’s now all properly filled with no blank pages and covers all my 2018 adventures (of which there were many). Around 6 I started getting ready to go out and walked over to Jess’ place for our tattoo adventure. Now, need a little background here. Back in 2014 on January 11th I had gotten a white ink wrist tattoo on the one year anniversary of me being self-harm free. That was all fine and great up until August 2016, when I needed to get surgery on my wrist after breaking it real bad, which left me with a huge unfortunate (and really incredibly ironic) scar going right through my tattoo (which really was like, it had to happen to the one very small area I have a tattoo on?? really???) and that combined with the white ink fading over the years (which I was aware was a thing when I got it but I figured that could be useful if I decided I didn’t like it anymore and just let it fade, or get it retouched as needed) it’s not terribly visible anymore, which is unfortunate because I really liked it. When it came to the topic of trying to fix it retouching the white ink wasn’t probably going to work well, so I came up with another idea, that being an arrow that goes over the long line scar which would kind of fix the scene and still have meaning of going forward, moving on to bigger and better things. So I waited until today (January 11th, 2019, six years self-harm free) to get it done. So we go into the tattoo place and we had called ahead to see if it would be crowded but it wasn't so we got in there pretty quickly. I advised that Jess should go first so she can focus on crushing my hand while getting hers done as she did when she got her first one in the spring, which ended up being a good call on my part because she did indeed crush my hand while it was being done (she got a little atom symbol that Brandon drew for her on her wrist), and then when she was done I got mine done. It definitely hurt a good deal more than it did last time for whatever reason, which is kind of odd being that they’re on virtually the same area, but it could’ve been because it was covering scar tissue that reacts a bit differently. but overall I’m really happy with how it came out, I will of course post a picture of it once I post this post (knowing tumblr it’ll probably get flagged as adult content, being that the picture of the one I posted back in 2014 got flagged) so you guys can see it. And yeah, everything went really well and I was satisfied. Once we were finished we were gonna get food, and I had planted the idea that we should go to Olive Garden earlier in the night since it was mentioned the other night, knowing by the time we were actually going to get food Jess would want it and of course it worked. So we drove to the nearest Olive Garden (which wasn’t very close) and waited for like 20 minutes (which wasn’t bad because they initially said it’d be like 35 minutes). Olive Garden was very good of course (and by that I mean it was very good for what it is, which is chain Italian food, if I were talking about an *actual* Italian restaurant my standards would be different of course) and I only got like halfway through my pasta before my acid reflux hardcore kicked in but I took the rest home so that’s good. Once we finished up there we headed home, Jess dropped me off with plans to meet up tomorrow to go to the airport (because we’re going to Ace CC Phoenix!!) so that should be good. Got back in my apartment, went on my laptop for a bit before taking a shower and getting ready for bed, and now I am here. They said to take the bandage off the tattoo in 5-6 hours, so I’m going to do that before going to bed and put the stuff they said to put on it. so yeah, should be good. Goodnight mis amigos. Until tomorrow.

[finalmajprojectphotography]

Evaluation

When the brief was set for this project I knew roughly what I wanted to create. From the very first day of this course I have wanted to explore moving image and film-making. So for the Final Major I wanted to really create something that showed off my aesthetic and attempt to learn the technical skills that go into using Premiere Pro. Since I could only access Premier Pro and not After Effects on my laptop this limited me slightly but I lack a serious knowledge in After Effects and so would not have made much difference really. I spent some time watching Premier Pro tutorials while I was at work (as we all know this is where 90 percent of my time is spent) to try and tutor myself. I didn’t want to ask for help as I felt ‘I’m in my final year now I should know how to do these things’ and would rather have private worries and stresses than let on that I have know idea what I’m doing! The absolute main struggles I had with this project were Premier Pro. It’s my favourite programme to use and in all honesty wish I had spent more time finding my way around it. 

When it came to shooting I had a bit of a difficult time planning when I could do it. This is because of many factors; work (50 hours a week), being unable to drive to the location and the time of day/night I could go. I had to figure out a way of finding somebody to drive me to my location which I had planned to be Portland into what has been dubbed as the ‘ghost tunnels’ and also when I could go. Having one to two days off during the week ended up clashing with my friends who can drive. I also finish work on average at 1 am and so finding somebody willing to take me at that time was a trouble in itself. Thankfully a hero by the name of Katrina Carlin came to my rescue. She would be free on a Monday night, a day where I finish a little earlier at 12.00-12.30 and she would drive me and assist me with my shoot. When Kat picked me up I decided half way there that perhaps going right the way into the middle of no where on Portland at 1 am isn’t just scary but it’s actually stupid. It would be incredibly dangerous for us and I didn’t want to jeopardise safety. I would’ve liked to have gone there at dusk instead. So I decided that Sandsfoot Castle would be a good location, I wanted the location shots more than anything as I could shoot extra clips and prop clips at another point. We were armed with a Canon 5d mark iii and our phone flashlights (I had originally intended to book out the lighting kit at college but thought since it would be pitch black out in the open I didn’t want to accidentally damage the kit or just not be able to see very well to use it, especially when I had never used it before. I set up my props and handed Kat the torches and began shooting. I had a shooting plan in my head and was channelling as much ‘American Horror Story’ opening credits as I could. A lot of motion in the torches over the props, in and out of darkness, I panned along the castle textures and brickwork and really tried to shoot each nook and cranny of it. I was starting to get a little sketchy and so we decided to pack up and head to the car after about 45 minutes of shooting. On our way to the car we stopped by a little lake and did some shooting over the lily pads and capturing the water movement. Then headed for a well earned McDonalds (on me as a thank-you!)

When it came to post-production I first had to choose an audio to decide how to arrange my footage and what kind of theme I wanted to project. As I have talked about previously, I initially wanted to go for a H.P Lovecraft narration, or a voice reading of a biblical passage. I at first used a track of a slowed down, hollow sounding version of a nursery rhyme. I edited my footage in order to this audio and thought that was the track that I was going to go down. However, in a twist of fate, I had decided to sell my 11′’ MacBook Air and invest in a laptop that actually possessed the utilities I needed (an SD card slot, a disk drive etc) and invested in a HP laptop with Windows 10. When it came to loading my video into my newly downloaded version of Premiere Pro, I hadn’t saved the video in the correct format as the version I had on my Mac was CC and was not the version I had downloaded for my new laptop. So I lost all the editing I had done and had to start again. I luckily had all my footage still but I may have had an ever so slight mental breakdown the night before deadline and a few tears. Nether the less, a happy accident this became. As ever so recently I had discovered a singer called ‘Lana Del Rey’ and had been listening to her albums. Her music is harrowing and beautiful and it hit me that night that I wanted to give my video a different vibe. I went and downloaded a version of her song ‘Blue Jeans’ without the lyrics and used just the music instead. The beats and the feeling went really really well with my footage and I liked the new vibe my video had. 

The overall end video I created I am happy with. For me I will always half self-doubt and also be my worst critic. I look at it and because I know I have a lack of knowledge with the software I feel it looks a little “year 2 project”. I know I could’ve done better with more time and focus. I also am kicking myself that I only discovered Lana Del Rey two days before the deadline as watching her music videos she honestly is my aesthetic written all over, the EXACT kind of videos I’ve always wanted to create and would’ve been perfect inspiration for me for this project. Something I would’ve done better and improved upon is much more research into artists, film-makers, authors and how to use Premiere Pro confidently. 

As my final project to ever submit I am pleased with what I’ve done and to hopefully project this at the exhibition.