#CAUSE APPARENTLY MY UNI CAN PROVE I LIVE IN MY HOUSE

[maybeamiles]

Beuocracy, I wish you a hearty FUCK. YOU.

[winryofresembool]

Things We Lost in the Fire, ch 25

aka Caleo uni au

Fic summary: Calypso starts studying at a new university, but to her annoyance her new flatmate is a loud mouthed mechanic who also likes to sneak his dog in whenever. But as she learns to know him better, she realizes they might have more in common than what she first thought. Eventually, even the darkest secrets come out…

Chapter summary: Halloween aftermath

A/N: Sorry for the wait again! This chapter wanted to become long (for my chapter) so I just couldn't finish it in time. About the future schedule, there won't be another chapter this week but given it's only Tuesday now, I think I may be able to update again Friday next week. Fingers crossed!

Thanks for all the comments again, you guys make me so motivated to continue! ♥ But I won't rant more, now I'll let you know what happens after the cliffhanger of ch 24.

Words: 3,8k+

Genre: romance & hurt/comfort

Warnings: none

previous chapter / AO3

...

Calypso woke up with her head banging in pain and a sour taste in her mouth. She also felt like throwing up. What was even worse than that, though, was that she had no idea where she was. She was still wearing a flowy, white dress instead of her pajamas and she didn’t recognize the bed she had slept in. Perhaps the strangest part was that she could hear light snoring from the floor behind the foot of the bed. She sat up on the bed so she could see who caused the sound, panic starting to surge in her veins when she recognized the dark mop of hair under a blanket.

It was Leo, sleeping on a mattress that had been taken from the other side of the double bed she had been sleeping in. What on earth had possessed him to sleep there, Calypso wondered worriedly.

Pulling a cover over her (which, she knew, was silly because obviously Leo had already seen her in her dress earlier) she continued scanning her surroundings and slowly started making some conclusions. This had to be Jason and Piper’s house, where they had stayed the night after the Halloween party. A party. Right. Her last clear thoughts were from the moment when she had seen the two Hunter girls arrive at the party. After that, she remembered vaguely fleeing the room and finding something to drink, and that’s when her memory got really blurry. And that was the truly scary part. She hadn’t been truly drunk even once within the past five years but she did know way too well what had happened the previous time she had done that. The biggest mistake of her life.

Before she allowed her mind to draw any more conclusions, she decided to rise from her bed and check up on Leo. He was still sound asleep and since the blanket had partially fallen off of him, she could see that he was wearing a tank top and boxers, which she took as a good sign. Since they both were at least somewhat clothed, she thought it was quite unlikely that they had crossed the line that she was not ready to cross. But that didn’t mean that nothing had happened.

“Ahem,” she cleared her throat while wrapping the bed cover around her a bit better, trying to make Leo wake up. She needed to do that at least twice more before he finally stirred.

“Wha… Woah!” He yelped with surprise when he realized where he was and with whom, quickly pulling his blanket over his mostly bare legs. “Morning, Sunshine. How are you feeling today?”

The panic had momentarily made Calypso forget about her headache and dizziness but now that Leo reminded her of it, she realized they hadn’t disappeared anywhere. Sitting back on her bed, she sighed.

“I’ve been better, that’s for sure.” She rubbed her forehead for a moment. “The worst part is that I have no idea what happened last night.”

“You�� don’t remember any of it?” Leo asked while sitting up, and Calypso thought she could hear a hint of disappointment in his voice.

“I do remember what happened before my first drink,” Calypso clarified. “But not much after that.”

“In that case, I think I can help you fill some gaps,” Leo replied. “If you want to.”

“That would be good.” Calypso tried to undo some knots in her hair with her fingers, sighing with frustration. “Maybe you can start with explaining why we are both here. I mean, in this room. I think Piper and Jason have several extra rooms in their house.”

Leo’s face turned bright red at the implications of Calypso’s question. He had to clear his throat before he managed to answer. “Um… You were really not feeling well last night… And to be honest, some moments you seemed pretty desperate to… I don’t know, it seemed like you were trying to escape from Thalia and Reyna every time they tried to talk to you. So, um, we, as in, me, Piper, Jason, Annabeth and Percy thought that someone should probably keep an eye on you. Just in case. So. I volunteered.”

Calypso wanted to keep Leo distracted so he wouldn’t ask more about Thalia and Reyna so she asked: “But why you, and not for example Piper? She lives here so it would have been easier for her. You could have just driven home and come to pick me up today or something.”

“That’s… that’s true but I felt it was my duty… as your flatmate, of course… to make sure you’re OK,” Leo stuttered. Calypso had a feeling it wasn’t the whole truth but she didn’t push it. “Alright,” Calypso said. “But why were you sleeping in this room? Like I said earlier, there are other places…”

“Ahem,” Leo made a coughing sound again. “That’s because you asked me to stay here. And I’m not lying about that. You can think anything you want about me but I would not do anything without your consent… um, not that any of that has even crossed my mind, gods.”

Even though Calypso was relieved to hear that because it proved that nothing had happened between them, she had to admit to herself that perhaps a tiny part of her was a bit disappointed. Leo’s reply made it sound like he did not have any romantic feelings towards her. Or then he was a liar. Either way, Calypso wasn’t sure what she should think.

“I… asked you to stay with me?” she repeated instead.

“Um, yeah,” Leo replied, his fingers tapping on his blanket absentmindedly. “You said something about nightmares… and I dunno, you just didn’t wanna be alone. Piper asked if you’d like her to stay but… you picked me? I don’t know why.”

There was a long pause before Calypso answered. Maybe it was her dizzy head making her make decisions she usually wouldn’t, but she thought there was no reason to deny it anymore. Feeling the warmth on her cheeks, she finally replied: “That’s because – I hate myself for this, but - you… you mean more to me than her.”

“I… what?” Leo frowned, looking like he was wondering if he had heard right.

Calypso sighed deeply and hid her face into her hands. She hated how fast her heart was racing in that moment. “I’ve been trying to deny that for several weeks now, but… I guess the drunk me was more honest than what I usually am.”

Leo crossed his arms, inching closer to Calypso on his mattress so he could look at her directly. “But… but… what does it mean? I mean, I do have an idea because I’m not an idiot even if I seem like one – but I need to hear it from you.”

“Leo Valdez, it means I like you! In a very non flatmate like way! There, are you happy now?” Calypso’s voice started cracking and she felt like she was on the verge of tears.

“Of course I am!” He exclaimed, almost jumping up from his mattress. “I think I’ve had a crush on you ever since you got mad at me for smashing your table!”

Calypso’s mouth opened in surprise. “You… have? But… how?”

“When you got mad at me that time, I saw some fire in your eyes. Like, OK, I’m gonna admit that you looked hot from moment one but I didn’t care about that. I didn’t,” he repeated when Calypso looked at him skeptically. “I know a lot of girls who kinda remind me of you with their shiny long hair, perfect eyelashes, et cetera, but many of them are the type of people who used to laugh at me at high school. And I mean, not in a good way. But when I saw that fire, somehow I was convinced that you were different. You have just the kind of spunk that I like and you’re not afraid to call me out when I deserve it – but you’re still fair and don’t judge the book by its cover. Fine, of course I was worried I was wrong and you wouldn’t forgive me for that mistake. But, somehow, this one time, I was right. And I only got more convinced as I learned to know you better.”

“Leo…” Calypso was starting to lose the fight against the tears.

Leo looked extremely worried when he realized she was crying. “What? I thought you’d be happy to hear that? I like you – you apparently like me for whatever crazy reason – what’s the problem?”

Calypso tried to brush off the tears from her face before answering, her eyes sparkling with frustration. “The problem is that you just made this – what I should do – a hundred times harder! If… if you hadn’t answered to my feelings, I could have just tried to accept that and eventually moved on. But… how are we going to live with this knowledge, live under the same roof… when nothing can happen?!”

Leo started to freak out. “What do you mean ‘nothing can happen’? Calypso, could you please finally be clear with me? Why did you just confess your feelings and then say… that?”

Calypso didn’t miss that Leo used her full first name, a thing he did quite rarely. Her voice was still a bit hoarse when she answered:

“Alright. I have plenty of reasons but here’s the first one: In the past… I’ve had nothing but unsuccessful relationships. I may have been really young back then, but it made me doubt myself, Leo. Several guys I really liked - and I imagined they liked me back - told me some big words… only to run to their ‘real’ girlfriends at the first possible opportunity. You’d probably say ‘but that was many years ago, screw those guys’!”

“Damn right, I would!” Leo exclaimed, slamming his fist on the floor next to him to emphasize his point.

“… And I wish it was that simple but it isn’t.” Calypso shook her head. “There’s more to that story than I care to explain right now. And then I met Percy a couple of years later and thought that maybe I’d be ready to try again. Well, you know what happened. It did not work out and I decided that when I’d finally have my freedom… I mean, when I’d move out and start my studies, I would make sure that I really am ready for a relationship before starting one. And I’m sorry, but… I don’t think I’m quite there yet. I want to learn to love myself before… you know.”

Leo finally stood up from his mattress and sat down next to her on the bed, not even caring about the fact that he was still wearing only a thin tank top and boxers anymore.

“I guess I can understand that,” he said, spontaneously taking her hand into his as a comforting gesture. “I’m no stranger to self doubt.”

“Then I guess we have that in common…” Calypso sighed, allowing Leo’s hands to remain on hers. “However… that’s not the only reason why I think it would not be a good idea.”

“What else is there?” Leo asked.

Calypso looked down at their intertwined hands sadly. “Well… I think I’ve told you my father is not the nicest of guys… But the truth is, I left home without his consent or knowledge. So, he’s probably looking for me right now. And if he does find me, I don’t know what will happen. I may have to go back. And I definitely don’t want him to find out about you. He has money and a lot of power and he’s capable of ruining anyone’s life if he wants to. He’d probably blame you for hiding me and have you arrested or something… It would break me if something happened to any of you, because of me.”

“Why… Why haven’t you told this to me before?” Leo’s grip on her hand tightened slightly and even though Calypso didn’t dare to look into his eyes, she imagined that they were burning in anger like she had seen a couple of times before.

Calypso rubbed her forehead tiredly with her free hand. “Because… what would you do in that situation?! I’d arrive at your home and introduce myself: ‘hey, I’m Calypso, your new flatmate, and by the way, I’m running away from my father who may or may not have kept me as a hostage for several years, but yeah, nice to meet you!’”

“A hostage?” Leo was practically growling now.

“Well… “ Calypso was suddenly hesitant, realizing she had revealed more than intended. “I was allowed to go to places… sometimes… but never alone… And I was homeschooled so… I did spend a lot of time at home… but we had a huge mansion… So it wasn’t like I was trapped in a basement or something…”

“But that doesn’t make it any more right!” Leo was almost yelling now. “I want to do something, I want to let people know what kind of person he is so he can’t keep doing that to you or anyone else anymore!”

“Leo, you can’t!” Calypso squeezed his hand, finally looking up at him. “Do you know how dangerous that would be?! And I swear, with his money he would only make the police go quiet about the whole situation… The main thing is that I’m here, right now, and relatively safe. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe he doesn’t care where I am. I don’t know what he’s thinking, to be honest.”

Leo was quiet for a while, breathing heavily and fiddling with the bed covers. “Well… Fine, I’ll let that be, for now. But I swear to gods, or the River Styx, or whatever the hell those ancient Greeks used to swear on, that if he does something to you, I will not let it be anymore. I… and I think I can speak for all of our friends, that we all… will make sure that he will go down with a bang.”

Leo’s comment about the ancient Greeks managed to cheer Calypso up a bit. “You sound like you would physically fight him. And how exactly would you do that?” she asked. “With your tools?”

“That’s not a bad idea!” Leo exclaimed, getting into his fantasies. “I would definitely bring my trusty hammer. Or, I could build a…”

“Hey, now, I was not being serious! But you sound like you are,” Calypso stopped him by putting a finger on his lips. “I absolutely don’t want you to do anything where you could get hurt.”

“Me? Getting hurt? That’s unheard of,” Leo attempted to joke once Calypso removed her finger from his lips.

“Alright, now you’re not being serious. Didn’t you once tell me that you joke especially when you’re nervous?” Calypso remembered one of their earlier conversations.

Leo’s smirk disappeared. “Want me to be honest? I’m not great at the feelings stuff. But I just heard you tell me that you like me. For a moment I was like: ‘hey, for once the chick you like likes you back, maybe this could work out’. And then you told me that apparently your father is some kind of psycho who is still controlling you, his adult daughter. I am glad that you told me about all this but you can’t expect me to stay calm when someone I care about is in danger. You wouldn’t stay calm either, would you?”

Calypso shook her head. “No. You’re right. I would also want to help you. And I really am sorry, I wish things were different and we could… Maybe one day. That’s all I can say.”

Leo sighed and ran his free hand through his hair. “OK. I get it.”,

A silence fell into the room as they both tried to take in what had just happened. Some automatic reaction made Calypso lean her head against Leo’s shoulder as if she was trying to tell him with the touch that she really was sorry. She was thankful he did not shift away. Eventually, she asked:

“So… tell me more about last night. Did I embarrass myself badly?”

“Naah…” Leo lied at first, a smile returning to his face as he remembered some of the things that had happened.

“You just flinched,” Calypso noted. “I felt it. You’re totally lying.”

“Fine. It was pretty funny when you had a karaoke duet with Piper and were too drunk to be able to read the lyrics from the screen so you came up with the words yourself. And at one point you just suddenly switched to Greek and none of us could understand what you were saying. But it wasn’t that bad. And even drunk your voice was kinda impressive. And your dance moves were definitely better than mine.”

“Wait, what? I danced too? Gods, please tell me no one filmed that,” Calypso asked, horrified.

“I can promise no such thing!” Leo grinned, and Calypso stopped leaning her head against him, instead elbowing him on the ribs. “Ow! I’m just joking! I don’t know if Piper got any photo material of that but I was busy dancing with you so I didn’t have time to film anything. Promise.”

“Alright. Sorry.” She lowered her head on his shoulder again.

“Guess we’ll have to hunt down Piper after this,” Leo said with amusement before recalling something. “Anyway, something kinda weird happened too. Like I said, it really seemed like you were trying to avoid Reyna and Thalia and I have no idea why. Every time they got close, you were like ‘gotta get a drink’ or ‘let’s go dance’ or ‘bathroom break’. I’m not even sure if you greeted them. Can you explain that?”

“I… uh,” Calypso tried to come up with something that she wouldn’t have to tell the whole story. “My half sister Zoë… She used to be a Hunter. But she died some years ago. An accident. I think those two probably knew her and… the wound is still too deep so I didn’t want to have to talk about her. It would have ruined everyone’s night.”

“I’m sorry,” Leo said, causing chills in Calypso’s back by running his thumb on the palm of her hand. “I had no idea... Feels like I’m learning a lot more about you now than I have the past few months…” “I probably should have told you about that earlier… So I’m sorry too.”

Leo bit his lip as if he was struggling to decide something. “If it makes you feel any better… I know how it feels to lose someone important. My mum. She died in a fire. Yeah, the fire that started my fear,” Leo confirmed Calypso’s suspicions. “She was the only family I had and after that I went from home to home and no one wanted to keep me… Sometimes I ran away too… That kept going until Emmie and Jo finally found me. It… doesn’t really get easier, but somehow… you still learn to live with it. Because you have to.”

“Yeah. I know the feeling. But if you have to find something positive out of this situation… at least we’re safe now. And we’re not alone, right? That’s what they’d want for us, right?” Calypso sounded a bit unsure, though.

“Yeah. You’re right.” They stayed quiet for a while, but this time the silence was comforting. Finally, Leo decided to break it, in his typical way.

“No offense, Cal, but you could use a shower. For all of our sake.”

Calypso quickly sat farther from him. “Oh my gods, Leo, that is so not appropriate, especially in a situation like this! What’s wrong with you?”

Leo put his hands up defensively. “Was just trying to be honest! The alcohol and the throwing up did not do good to you.” “Geez, I hate you,” Calypso mumbled.

“That’s fine because I hate you too,” Leo claimed.

“Not what you said a moment ago,” Calypso retorted.

“I could say the same back at you.”

Suddenly both Leo and Calypso burst out laughing, needing to release the tension the whole conversation had created. Calypso didn’t remember when she had last laughed that long or hard but she didn’t care, it simply felt right in that moment. When she and Leo finally calmed down, she said quietly:

“Maybe we are idiots, both of us.”

“Maybe. But normalcy is not for me. I learned that a while ago.”

“Same, to be honest.”

Calypso and Leo’s eyes met. Some barriers had been broken that day and even though there was still a lot of work to do, Calypso realized that it had felt good to talk to Leo. He hadn’t judged or questioned, at least not in the way she had expected. He had seemed to accept that she’d come out of her shell with her own terms. Something about it all just felt so right, and when she remembered that he had also admitted he liked her back… she decided it was time to get a bit crazy. Screw the consequences, if they couldn’t enjoy this moment, then what could they enjoy? That’s why she let her hand brush his cheek before resting it in his hair, gently lifting his chin with her other hand so he’d know her intentions…

“Do you think… we could forget about the stupid rules just for a moment?” She asked, resting her forehead on his.

“I think I’m down with that,” Leo smiled at her softly (Calypso didn’t like admitting it but that soft smile never failed to get to her).

They closed their eyes and started leaning even closer, but just when their lips were about to meet, the door opened. The couple quickly separated when Piper peeked in.

“I heard some laughter from here so I thought I’d come to check…” Then she noticed their expressions. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to interrupt!”

“Didn’t interrupt anything,” Leo mumbled, although it was quite clear from his voice he was disappointed.

“Yeah, no worries,” Calypso tried to reassure her as well, although her eyes seemed to be interested in a wrinkle on her dress.

“OK…” Piper wasn’t at all convinced but she didn’t comment on it more. “Well, I just wanted to tell you that we have breakfast downstairs. Whenever you’re up to it.”

“Yeah, we’ll be there in a minute! Just let me… clean up a bit.” Calypso exclaimed, getting up and starting to head to the closest bathroom. Leo also got up from the bed and started pulling on the clothes he had had under his costume the previous day.

“See you soon then,” Piper said, leaving the very flustered couple to get prepared for the day. Calypso could imagine that she and Jason would probably get good laughs from this once she and Leo would leave.

[schrijverr]

Husband Tag

Dean and Cas do the husband tag. Takes place within the Famous Husband verse.

On AO3.

Ships: Destiel

Warnings: none, but if you want me to tag anything I’ll do so happily! :)

~~~~~~~~~~

Dean and Castiel were sitting next to each other. Dean smiled into the camera and started the video, while Castiel smiled at him. “Hello Hunters, you’ve read the title and probably know what’s going on already, but we’re doing the husband tag!”

The intro rolled, it was a drawn impala that came down the road, it stopped in the middle of the screen and the drawn Dean gave a wink to the viewers, then he sped off again and the smoke was bridge back to the video.

“How are we doing this?” Castiel asked.

Dean answered: “Well, I have a list of husband tag questions here, so lets just start at the top and answer one in turns.”

Castiel nodded and Dean offered to go first, which Cas gratefully accepted. Dean said: “First question is “How and where did we meet?” Kinda answered this one in the reveal video already, uhm, next one is “What was your first impression?” Okay, I also answered this one, I thought you were scary, turned out not to be true, but what can you do.”

He turned to Cas and said: “What was your first impression of me?”

“I thought you were a lunatic.” Castiel answered seriously.

Deans eyes got wide as he exclaimed: “Why!”

“Because you jumped me.” Castiel defended.

Dean grinned sheepishly and rubbed the back of his head while he said: “Yeah, that’s fair.”

Dean read out: “When did you meet my family?”

He gave Cas a look and Castiel answered: “I met Sam, when he visited the weekend after I moved in, I liked him, he asked questions about my courses and the books I had. It was quite lovely.”

“Yeah, cause he is a nerd.” Dean said with an eyeroll.

Castiel looked tiredly into the camera, but didn’t comment. He went on: “And I met Bobby that summer, me and Dean had hit it off that year and I didn’t have anything to do, so we went home to Bobby's place and helped him with the shop for the entire summer. He is a nice man, didn’t really trust me at first, but I like to think I’ve grown on him.”

“Of course you’ve grown on him.” Dean said, “You’re family, you know how he is about family. He has one of our wedding pictures framed in his office. You know the one with him, Sammy, Jo and Ellen?”

“Really?” Cas asked.

“Yeah, doesn’t say anything about it when you ask him, though.” Dean shrugged.

Castiel smiled fondly and grabbed Deans phone to ask him the next question: “When and why did you fall for me? Hm, this one is interesting.”

Dean turned bright scarlet as he answered: “In third year of uni I realized I had fallen for him, but I can’t pinpoint the exact moment when it started, probably when you walked through the door.”

“You sap.” Castiel said with a smile.

Dean batted his eyelashes at him and said: “Don’t you know it, angel. But back to the story, there had been a few dudes, their leader was Dick, and they didn’t like us for some reason, so they had decided that it would be fun to leave us in the forest at night, don’t ask. But we had to get back and while we were hearing all sorts of noises, but Cas wasn’t scared and I suddenly though that that was pretty sexy of him and then I realized I found a lot about Castiel pretty sexy.”

Castiel face palmed, but he was smiling.

Then Dean was reading the next question for Cas: “How long have we been together?” That one is kind of boring I guess, you want a new one?”

“I can do two,” Castiel said, “this one is kind of short. We’ve known each other for ten years now, we’ve been dating for six years and we’ve been married for one.”

Dean nodded along with a happy and proud smile, then he read the next question: “I’ve skipped a few, cause I want to know this one, “What do you love about me?”, I’m answering this one as well.”

Cas thought about it for two seconds then he looked at Dean and held eye contact as he answered: “I love how you work tirelessly for the things you are passionate about. I love how you care for Sam. I love how your listen to me ramble about work and can remember what I talked about weeks later. I love how you watch bee documentaries with me even though you think they are boring, just because they make me happy. I love the freckles on you nose that I can never seem to count. I love how I can come home and find you in the kitchen singing and dancing in your underwear while cooking dinner for us. I love the little golden flakes in your eyes. I love your smile and your flirting. I love every little thing about you and I always will.”

The longer Cas went on the redder Dean became, he was smiling while trying to duck his head away in embarrassment, but he couldn’t let his hold of Castiels eyes go, they remained locked. When Cas was done a tear slipped down Deans face and there was a jump cut.

Dean had puffy eyes, but they were bright and shining happily. He said: “That was quite a speech, which I know I can’t match.”

“You don’t have to, Dean.” Castiel assured him.

“No, I wanna try,” Dean said and then he told Cas: “I love how you keep me grounded and calm. I love how you would give up everything for me in a heartbeat and convince me I’m worth it. I love how you became family in days even though it takes most years, just because you fit in perfectly. I love how your eyes light up when you find some random trivia about bees. I love how you listen to me ramble about my car and all the shit I leave around the house for videos. I love how you phrase things. I love how you can seem wise beyond your years and then one second later look like the biggest idiot on the planet. I love how you give anyone the middle finger if you care about something, no matter how scary you find it.”

Castiel was also tearing up a bit, so Dean decided that it was enough and cleared his throat: “That was enough of a chick-flick moment, just want to add that I also love your ass.”

“Dean! My students watch this!” Cas exclaimed, but he was grinning none the less.

“And they need to appreciate what a blessing that is.” Dean smirked.

Cas groaned and mumbled: “I hate you, Dean Winchester.”

“And I love you too, darling.” Dean sing-songed back.

Cas rolled his eyes, but didn’t disagree. He snatched the phone out of Deans hand an randomly read a question of the screen: “What is a weird habit I have?”

Dean answered: “A weird habit? Uhhhhh, maybe it’s because I lived with you for so long that I don’t find it weird anymore, but you eat an insane amount of burgers, the fact that you are not fat is a miracle. I think I’ve seen you eat ten burgers in a row once, it’s insane.”

“You exaggerating, Dean. I do not consume an unnatural amount of burgers, they just please my palette and I eat them if I can.” Castiel said with a huff.

Dean smiled and said: “That’s another one, he can phrase things so strangely, but it’s oddly fascinating how he switches between talking like a human being and a confused immortal.”

“How many times do I have to tell you that I am not a strange being.” Castiel whined like it was an old discussion.

Without missing a beat Dean said: “When you can prove you’re not.”

Cas threw his hands up and said: “How can I prove I’m not immortal, without dying.”

Dean took a deep breath, but there was a jump cut before he could answer.

The end card showed and this time Cas sat next to Dean as he said goodbye: “That was it for this video, please remember to like, comment and subscribe and while you’re there you should hit that bell too, just so you know when I will update again. Any last words to the viewers, Cas?”

With a serious deadpan expression Cas said: “Make sure to subscribe, I have seen a nice vacation I’d like to go on, so we need the money.”

Dean hit him in the arm and Castiel rolled his eyes with a smirk as he said: “Kidding… apparently. No, I really was kidding, uhm, see you maybe and have a lovely day.”

“Ahw, that’s a sweet outro, angel.” Dean said, then he turned back to the camera and said: “Well, you heard the man, have a lovely day. Bye hunters, see you on the road!”

Then the screen went dark.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

My heart!!!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The bickering is real, people

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Just the mental image of Dean

singing along to music while

he is dancing in his underwear

and cooking is amazing, thank

you saint Castiel

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dean out there looking like a

snack

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Their love speeches were so

adorable!!!!!!!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dean called Cass angel and now

he’s arguing about the mortality

of the man? Hm, I sense a

CONSPIRACY!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I’m sooooo jealous of all the kids

in castiels classes, I mean looking

at that all day, yum!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Why the burgers though? No one

gonna talk about that? No?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

brb just writing down their

speeches as inspo for my vows

I mean, that romance, hot damn

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I find a lot of things about cas

pretty sexy too dean

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[endofjunee]

📚 Drunk in Love (last thing I remember) by @lovehoperomance He’s stumbling to the left of the street, hopeful that it’s in the direction of his flat, when he sees it. A food truck. Lit up in gold. It's as if God has taken a giant highlighter and drawn a halo around it. Okay, so it might be the streetlight shining down on it and the yellow light emanating from within...but Louis will still claim godly intervention if anyone asks.

He weaves across the pavement, shivering in what he now realises is a very brisk London evening, coated in fog.

“Hello. Hi.” Louis steps in front of the entire line, waving an aimless hand at the man in the truck who looks completely bewildered by Louis’ antics. The man is littered in tattoos and wearing a green headscarf that matches the sea foam of his eyes. “Do you have any fried chicken? Or a drink? Oh, oh, do you have chips? Oh please tell me you have chips?”

The man’s face, which Louis faintly registers is quite angular, shifts from bewilderment into a stunning, slightly crooked smile.

Or, the one where Louis wakes up, naked, in a stranger's bed and has no idea how he got there. Maybe it's foul play. Maybe it's just the kindness of a handsome stranger amused by his drunken antics. 🌹 Save A Horse, Ride A Cowboy by @chloehl10 Harry whimpered as Louis pushed himself up onto his tiptoes, grazing his ear lobe with his lips. His breath tickled Harry’s ears, and Harry swallowed, already anticipating what Louis was about to say.

“I’d like to ride you, cowboy…”

Or, Harry's a barman at Flaming Saddles, a country and western themed gay bar.

Louis’ a customer who’d like to see if the tall barman is as good on the ropes as everyone says he is...

📚 And That’s The Tea by @2tiedships2​ I’d like an Earl Grey with milk and sugar, please.

Louis had the phrase memorized, even though it had disappeared off its place on his upper arm over thirteen years ago now.

At fourteen he didn’t understand. Soulmarks don’t just disappear. Not unless…

Unless one of them dies.

Or, the one where Louis loses his soulmate before even getting the chance to meet them, and he is in no way prepared for the kind of distraction his new friend Harry proves to be. 🌹 I’ll Fly Away by @vintage-harry​ “Harold,” Louis spoke, but not too loud. He didn’t want to startle the cat pile. “Louis? What are you doing home?” Harry greeted him with a toothy smile. “Why are there three cats?” Louis pointed at the third one. “That’s Hail. He’s so sweet.” Louis blinked and shook his head slightly. “Why is he on the sofa, in the house, on the cats?” “He lives here now,” Harry stated as if Louis should already be aware of this. He was not aware of this news until now. “Since when?” He poked the cat in the head, his tiny black curtained head with white ears popped up. He mewed softly before blinking a few times. Louis thinks he looked offended. He looked at Harry expectantly. Harry looked fond. “For three days now.” He smiled at Louis. It reminded him of Dori smiling at Marlin in Finding Nemo.

Or, Louis and Harry live in a small town in Texas of just over 500 people and Harry seems to be growing cats in his garden. Love and fluff.  📚 Baby Honey 2.0 by @vintage-harry​ A few weeks passed by and Louis had spent a large portion of his time with incognito mode on as he Googled ways to hint at pregnancies. He came up with a few ideas but was impatient and felt uncreative at any idea. The most he read about was for online announcements. Louis decided one day while he was at Niall’s with two kittens laying on his stomach to take a photo and post it. He knew Harry would see it pretty quickly as he had Louis’ Instagram notifications on.

Louis held his phone out and took a few shots of the sleeping kittens on his stomach, thumbed through them and found the one he liked best and posted it with the caption, “Three little kittens” he hit post and waited. It didn’t take long, ten minutes later Harry left a comment asking where the third kitten was. Louis rolled his eyes and deleted the photo.

Or, Louis is pregnant this time and tries to find creative ways to hint about it to Harry. Only it doesn’t go as planned. 🌹 fuck fake friends by @artxghoul​ It’s better to just stay away. So he does. He tries his very best to. It’s just weird when you can’t be happy for someone. When you can’t encourage their achievements anymore, because they did it alone or with someone else, when it was supposed to be with you. Harry was supposed to always be with Louis.

Or, if you love someone, set them free. if they don't come back, text them when you're drunk. 📚 The Daddiest Place on Earth by @chloehl10​ dilfs_atdisneyworld: Ooh he's popular. Is it me or has it got hot in here? #dilf #hothothot #gimme

louist91: What the hell? Why the fuck am I on a DILFs page again?"

dilfs_atdisneyworld: louist91, Hello! You're on here because you're a DILF. A dad I'd like to f...😜

Louist91: dilfs_atdisneyworld Oh my god. Fuck off mate.

Or, Louis. Harry. Instagram. A whole lot of confusion and a whole lot of laughs... 🌹 Harry Poppins by @jacaranda-bloom​ When Louis’ best friends pass away he finds himself with an instant family. Maddie and Thomas are wonderful children but take an immediate dislike to every nanny that sets foot inside their house. After nanny number six is summarily dismissed Louis is at his wit’s end, that is until an unusual man arrives on their doorstep. Harry Styles is like nothing any of them have ever encountered before, and perhaps, exactly what they’ve been looking for all along.  📚 tonight’s not over (come over and stay) by @microlouis​ Zayn doesn’t say anything for a moment, pausing and worrying at his bottom lip. Finally, he asks, “Have you heard that Cox guy is coming out with a new song?” Louis freezes, fingers hovering over his keyboard where they had been typing his password.

“No, I hadn’t,” Louis says truthfully. “Where did you hear that?” “Tell anyone this and I’ll kill you, but I’d consider myself a big fan,” Zayn says. His face doesn’t change in expression, completely serious as he admits this to Louis. “Big fan? Like run a blog and everything?” Or, harry is a famous singer and louis is a student who just wants to write his novel. 🌹 Fiction Romance by @rougeandtonic​ Harry has a type.

He likes older, sophisticated, mature men. Well-educated men. Men with life experience and passion for arts and social causes. Men who are established in their careers, who've sorted their lives out.

Niall knows this.

And so Harry can't understand why he's sat here opposite Louis Tomlinson.

Or, a punk Louis/uni Harry blind date AU. 📚 Hope when the moment comes, you’ll say I did it all by SilverShadow1  Standing in front of them with an amused smile was an — there really was no other suitable word to describe him — angelic creature. Soft brown hair that was shaved on the sides and bright blue eyes that Harry had only seen in photos of the ocean; the lad was probably close in age to himself, yet seemed entirely boyish.

“Dad, put me down!” demanded Jess with no malice in her voice. Harry looked down in surprise, forgetting that she was in his right arm. “Oops,” he said, flushing. That caused the other lad to laugh. “Hi,” said the man at the door.

Or, the one where Louis is a piano teacher and Harry and his daughter are goners for him. 🌹 Graphic design is my passion by @kingsofeverything Graphic design student Louis Tomlinson has exams to study for and final art projects to complete, if it would stop raining long enough for him to walk across campus. Luckily Harry Styles has an umbrella, and he’s perfectly willing to share.

Louis doesn’t plan to get his heart broken and he doesn’t plan to make almost a hundred silicone dildos. One of these things definitely happens. 📚 i gotta get better! by @dystopianharry  Harry’s sex life has been pretty nonexistent since he broke up with his last non-soulmate boyfriend. after a chance encounter with someone online, he decides to enlist them to help him out. no strings attached, obviously.

Or, soulmates can feel each others’ pain and harry has some kinks he wants to explore. 🌹 Dreaming of You by @mizzwilde The Begrudging Starbucks AU.

The world is winter and steamed milk and creamy espresso shots. The world is a never ending queue. The world is a Starbucks logo and a pink-cheeked smile from Niall and a bored scowl from Zayn and the world is Louis watching his best mate, Liam, fall in love with their newest customer, Harry. Who may or may not be in love with Louis. The world is cruel. 📚 Through a Mirror Dimly by @londonfoginacup​ Louis Tomlinson, in his third year at university, does not expect nor want the roommate that is being assigned to his room.

Harry Styles, in his first year at university, has just been kicked out of one dorm and doesn't want to deal with yet another snobby, rich roommate.

They don't get along, and that's just how it is, until circumstances force them to reevaluate. 🌹 Raise a Glass to the Four of Us by @2tiedships2 Louis stared at his luggage.

Well. Apparently not his luggage, because the clothing he was looking at currently was a: worth more than everything he currently possessed, b: not his size at all, and c: more suited for a fancy ass lawyer than a holiday in NYC with his best mates.

“Ooh, nice loafers,” Niall said as he pulled one out of the suitcase. “I love the rainbows.”

“Okay,” Liam began. “What do you want to do first? Eat, shop for new clothes, or spend hours on the phone with the airline?”

Louis continued to stare at the luggage. 📚 His and Mine by @kissyboystyles​ Harry is adopted by a wealthy family, soon to be cleared of his connection to his soulmate without discussion on his twentieth birthday-- a gruesome rite of passage. For the past eight years, Harry has been staring at one name: Louis. But what happens now that his heart starts fluttering for a stranger, helping him remain strong at his weakest points? Harry feels he should be cautious; what kind of person goes by the name Tomlinson anyway…

Or, Harry legally isn't supposed to meet his soulmate-- he's rendered physically unable to recognize him even if he did-- but yet, of course, he does. 🌹 Drop to Hold You by @becomeawendybird After the end of the Second Wizarding War and the ensuing diplomacy between Muggles and the Wizarding world, the long-defunct Merlin College at Oxford opened it's doors again.

The ultra-competitive programs at Merlin require a rigorous application process. None more than the Auror training program. Louis finally manages to get in with his best friend Liam after a few false starts, only to be faced with the most beautiful, distracting man he could ever imagine. 📚 The Lone Hydrangea by @lightwoodsmagic “Thank you again,” he smiled at Harry as he picked up the arrangement and headed towards the door, and Harry quickly realised he didn’t know the man’s name. “I – wait! Sorry, I just...what’s your name?” At the man’s eyebrow raise, Harry stumbled over his words, “It’s just, if you’re coming back, I thought I should…know.” As the man looked at Harry, his smile only grew, and Harry’s heart thumped in his chest. “My name’s Louis. Louis Tomlinson, and it was so lovely to meet you,” he shot one final grin in Harry’s direction, “I’ll see you next week, Harry.” And then he was gone. “It was lovely to meet you too,” Harry whispered to the empty shop, putting his head on the counter, “Louis”.

Or, the post Hogwarts AU where Harry's a florist, Louis' a muggle who edits fantasy books, and they both have no say in how quickly they fall for each other. 🌹 A Little Bit Like Fate by @28shadesofpink “So,” Harry starts. “Since I heard you and your friend are not getting married, uhm... Would it be appropriate to ask you to stay for the kiss-in?” “Really?” Louis says, light and playful. “And who would I be kissing?” He looks up and offers a sweet smile, perfectly innocent. “Oh, I don’t know.” Harry is playing along, keeping his tone airy, but he takes a step forward and smirks. “With those cheekbones, I think you could kiss whoever you wanted.”

Or, Louis stumbles upon a kiss-in protest for LGBTQ rights, and he meets Harry. They click. It feels a little bit like fate. 📚 come together by @bottomlinsons Harry and Louis slept together three weeks ago, and haven’t talked.

Their coming group project is gonna change that. 🌹 Seeing Blind by @that-idiot-overthere Louis finally turns his head in Liam’s direction, knows his face is showing the longing he’s been aching with ever since it took root in his chest. “What the fuck do I do, Liam? He wouldn’t want me like that, but I want-” his voice cracks, and he turns his face back downwards. “What do you do when you’re not perfect for the person who’s perfect for you?”

Or,  the one where Harry’s an independent omega who likes to have his fun and Louis is the blind alpha that changes Harry’s priorities. 📚 Sweet as Cherry Wine by @harrieberrie Broken hearts are healed by the luck of the Irish

Or, Louis and Niall are a mess, Niall’s daughter has a hopeless crush, and Harry is hopelessly clueless 🌹 at the end of my rope by @saffona "Baby?” Harry mumbles, voice laced with sleep and a shiver goes through Louis at hearing the term. He hasn’t called him that in so long, in that voice and, clearly, even Louis’ body fucking misses it.

“Did you cheat on me?” Louis finds himself asking. If he’s being honest it’s more so he can see Harry’s reaction, than a genuine question, but what has he got to lose? Sure enough, Harry’s face changes from sleepy to the most incredulous look Louis’ ever seen on him. He actually looks terrified, all wide eyes, mouth gaping like he can’t believe Louis would even assume that and Louis would laugh at it, but he’s so done with the way Harry’s been acting, he just wants to know what the hell’s going on.

Or, the one where they go to Crete and Harry is definitely hiding something. 📚 truth, justice, and the gay way by @hattalove Liam needs a costume. Louis needs a best best friend award, a holiday, and to get a grip.

(Harry’s just in the right place at the right time.) 🌹 Hello My Name Is Harry by @a-brighter-yellow Louis’s 20-year high school reunion takes a turn when a celebrity classmate – who also happens to be Louis’s long unrequited crush – unexpectedly shows up.

A famous/not-famous AU inspired by Chris Evans.

[Previous Monthly Recs]

[isitgintimeyet]

Letting Go

AO3

Previous

Thank you all for reading.

Thanks to @mo-nighean-rouge - she’s a great beta.

Thanks also to @happytoobservenolongerdistant

Chapter 4: Walk On By

If you see me walking down the street And I start to cry each time we meet Walk on by, walk on by

Burt Bacharach/ Hal David

Claire sipped her coffee and looked contentedly around the living room. She couldn't quite believe she had moved in only ten days ago. It felt like she had lived here for ages. Having furniture from the house probably helped, she reasoned, although she wasn’t sure what would happen when Lamb returned there in two years time. Would he expect the furniture to be returned? And would he expect her to be ‘returned’ too? Now that she had finally made the move, she doubted she would ever return to live there.

She had definitely fallen lucky with this flat… and with her neighbours. Mrs. Crook was as sweet and kind as Anna and Mary had said. Ten days in and Claire had already been the recipient of an apple turnover, a steak and kidney pie and half a dozen scones.

And, even in this short time, she had grown fond of Anna and Mary. Anna worked in marketing at the King’s Theatre whilst Mary was an accountant in the local tax office. They seemed very different; Anna was very outgoing and vivacious with a wide circle of friends, always heading out to parties or social functions whilst Mary was quieter and more reserved. And yet, they lived together very amicably -- their characters complementing each other’s.

Then last night, Claire had finally met John, who worked as a book editor for a publishing house. Their exchange had been brief. Claire was just coming in the front door after a long day at the hospital, whilst John was on his way out for some evening's entertainment, elegantly dressed and smelling divine. He kissed her warmly on both cheeks before continuing out of the door, calling assurances that they would indeed meet very soon for a ‘proper welcome to the building’.

Claire glanced at her watch and, suddenly realising the time, rushed into her kitchen, pulled a bottle of Pinot Grigio from the fridge and made her way across the landing to Mary and Anna’s flat.

The door to their flat was already ajar. Claire knocked and walked in. Mary and Anna were sitting in the living room, full wine glasses in hand.

“Hi, Claire. You want a drink before we go out?” Mary made to stand up.

Claire motioned her to sit. “Yes, great. Don’t get up, I’ll get it myself. And I’ll pop this one in your fridge.”

From the kitchen, Claire heard the front door open again, followed by John’s voice greeting the girls.

“Mary... lovely, my dear. Anna… as glamorous as ever. I hope you don’t mind if an old friend joins us for dinner, do you? I hadn’t seen him since uni, twelve years ago and we reconnected at a reunion-type thing this week.”

Claire took a sip from her glass as she wandered back into the living room.

“So, this is Jamie…”

The thump of Claire’s wine glass as it hit the carpet interrupted John’s introductions. She immediately bent down to retrieve it before rushing to the kitchen for a cloth. Her cheeks burning, she leant against a countertop and stood still for a minute, trying to calm her breathing.

From her initial glance, he hadn’t changed that much in eight years. His hair was shorter. No longer touching his shoulders, it was barely long enough to curl. His shoulders were a bit broader too, clad in one of those flannel checked shirts he was always so fond of. She hadn’t dared to focus on his face… or his left hand.

She could hear John’s introductions continuing. And then he spoke. That soft Highland burr seemingly unaltered by the years in America. He spoke a low tone, too low for Claire to hear, his utterances drawing laughter from Anna and Mary.

“I’ll just see if Claire needs a hand.” Mary’s voice rose above the laughter, causing Claire to abruptly grab a dishcloth and hurry back into the living room.

“I’m so sorry, Mary, Anna. The glass just slipped from my hand… must be my hand cream… not rubbed in properly…” Claire’s nervous rambling finally ground to a halt.

“Don’t worry, this carpet’s seen far worse than a drop of wine.” Mary took the cloth and dabbed at the small patch of damp next to her. “You just sit down Claire.”

Claire perched on the edge of the sofa obediently.

“And here we have the newest inmate in our building… Claire Beauchamp… Jamie Fraser.” John was determined to finish. “Claire’s another damn Sasse…”

“Hello.” Claire broke into John’s introductions, finally glancing up at Jamie.

With a curt ‘hi’, Jamie nodded his head in response.

“So, Jamie, you joining us for dinner, then? We’ve got a table at the ‘Star of India’. You like Indian food?” Anna turned her full attention to Jamie.

“Aye, I’ll be happy tae join ye if ye dinna mind. Indian’s one of ma favourites.”

******

Nine years ago

“Ye ken, Sassenach, when ye said ye were takin’ me out fer a meal, I dinna imagine this… er… place.”

“Oh, what did you imagine?”

“Och, I dinna ken… somewhere with wee flowers, candles, soft music, tablecloths and a glass or two of wine. No’ these bench tables, beer from the bottle…”

“I love the food here. It’s my favourite. What are you going to order?”

“Chicken Korma, or do they do an omelette?”

“Jamie, do you not like Indian food?”

“Honesty, is it? I canna say I do.”

“Let me order for you. I’m sure you’ll love it. But if you don’t like it I promise we don’t have to come here again. I’ll get my curry fix when you’re not around.”

“Is that a threat there, Sassenach? Because, let me tell ye, I plan tae always be around, ye ken.”

******

“Are we all ready to go then?” John looked around the room. “I’m sure the restaurant won’t mind another one joining our party. Might just have to squeeze together a bit more but I’m sure that’s not a problem, eh, Jamie?”

Anna and Mary led the way out of the flat, followed by Claire, with John and Jamie bringing up the rear. Jamie’s eyes drifted to the brown curls three steps below him.

Once he had got over the initial shock of seeing her, a neighbour of his friend no less, he tried to study her appearance through surreptitious half glances whilst maintaining his air of indifference. Not that it was an act. He knew himself to be indifferent to her. The past eight years had proved that.

At first sight, she seemed pretty much the same. From the introductions, it was clear that she wasn’t married. Her curls were as untamed as ever; perhaps she had lost a bit of weight. But the way her hands fluttered around her face in agitation hadn't changed. Neither, apparently, had her obsession with hand cream.

******

Nine years ago

“Come to bed, Sassenach. I want that round arse of yers here next tae me right now.”

“In a second. Just finishing.”

“How many times do ye have tae put that cream on yer hands?”

“But they get so dry with constant washing and using the hand sanitiser all day. I have to keep putting it on. You don’t want my hands all rough, do you?”

“Och, no, Sassenach. When ye put yer soft hands there… oh… like that… and hold me… aye… and stroke… oh god… yer touch…”

******

Downstairs, the door to Mrs. Crook’s flat was slightly open.

“Mrs. Crook...” Anna peered around the door. “Hello, Mrs. Crook, are you ok? Your door’s open.”

“Come in dear. I must have forgotten tae close it.”

Mary turned to Claire and Anna. “That’s not like her. Mind if we just check?”

As they stepped into the hallway of Mrs. Crook’s flat, it quickly became apparent that things weren’t right. The small Persian rug on the floor lay crumpled and askew. The side table had obviously been knocked, the Royal Doulton figurine laying  on its side. They made their way into the living room to find Mrs. Crook sitting with one leg propped up on a stool. There was a cut just below the old woman’s hairline, the blood still fresh on her skin.

“Oh, Mrs. Crook, what happened?” Mary rushed to her side.

“Och, Dinna fash. I jes’ tripped up in the hall and banged ma head on the table. I’m fine, dinna bother about me.”

Claire’s professional instincts took over. “Can I see?”

Gently she touched the raised leg, her hands moving instinctively over the limb, pressing and prodding, looking for signs of pain or discomfort on Mrs. Crook’s face. Once satisfied, Claire sat back. “I think you’re very fortunate. You’ve only sprained your knee. We can put an ice pack on that to help with the swelling. I’m more concerned about the knock on your head. Do you feel sick, or sleepy?”

“Nae more than usual.”

“I think we need to take you to A&E, get you checked out there.”

“Oh, no, Dinna fash. I am no’ goin’ tae the hospital. I’ll be fine here. I can see ye’re all on yer way out. Dinna let me stop ye. Go, have fun.”

Claire looked sternly at the old woman. “No, I’m not leaving you here. You may have a concussion. If you won’t go to the hospital, then you’re going to have to put up with me staying to keep an eye on you.”

Mrs. Crook opened her mouth to protest, but Claire halted any protestation. “I’m not actually asking you, I’m telling you. That’s my plan. I’m going to go and get my medical bag and we’re going to spend the evening together watching the telly and drinking tea. I’ll be back in a minute.”

Once outside in the main entrance hall, Claire explained the situation to John. Jamie stood next to Anna, listening.

“Oh, that’s a shame,” John said sympathetically. “Are you sure you couldn’t maybe join us later?”

“No best not. But you all go and have a good night.”

Claire stood and watched as, laughing and joking together, the four of them headed out into the street.

******

Nine years ago

“So, have ye always wanted tae be a doctor, then?”

“Yes, ever since I was a little girl, I wanted to heal people, make people better. I think maybe it’s because… no, sorry…”

“What were ye goin’ tae say?”

“Er… maybe it’s because my parents died when I was a small child. Maybe I want to try to protect families from having to go through that. I don’t really know. I only know it’s always been my big dream.”

“I ken ye’ll be a grand doctor. I can tell. Ye’re a true healer.”

********

With Mrs.Crook comfortably settled, an ice pack on her knee and the cut on her head cleaned and washed, Claire sat down for an evening of watching television. As the opening credits for ‘X Factor’ appeared on the screen, she finally let her mind begin to wander over the evening’s events.

Like an unaccustomed hole in a tooth that the tongue is repeatedly drawn towards, even with the knowledge of pain to follow, so Claire’s mind kept being drawn towards Jamie, analysing every aspect of his sudden and very unexpected debut.

His physical appearance (still as muscular as ever, perhaps even more so, ageing well); his voice (no trace of the past eight years in his accent); his attire (still the same casual clothing, but worn so well. No wedding ring but then he never would wear any jewellery anyway so…); his demeanour (open and friendly… except to her).

And then, Claire realised, came the pain -- We have met. Now we are strangers, worse than strangers for we may never become acquainted.

NOTE: The last line is a direct quote from ‘Persuasion’ by Jane Austen.

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Buster

Rio: Do you think I need to report or tip the deliveryman for taking advantage of the unlocked front door? Rio: can't decide Buster: Are you sure it was unlocked? Rio: Well I was sure I locked it actually but apparently not Rio: Indie also swears she didn't forget so must've been me Buster: Unless she swore on her stash there's no reason to take it as gospel, babe Rio: True Rio: thanks anyway 😚 they look really pretty in the kitchen window Buster: Hold on, I didn't send you anything Buster: What kind of delivery was it? Rio: Yeah, tbh, I didn't think it was you Rio: but I was hoping Rio: [the picture] Rio: they look kinda cheap Rio: cannot work out who they're from Buster: Is the address right? Maybe they're for next door but yours was open Buster: Fuck it, throw them out and I'll replace them for you Rio: There isn't one, there's like nothing Rio: Maybe Drew's planning to give 'em to someone Buster: Ask him Buster: Could also be one of Indie's friends, you said they were cheap, like Rio: Awh, how sweet Rio: yeah, I'll ask Rio: how are you anyway? Buster: Better before I was worried about your home security Rio: Don't be Rio: You've never forget to lock up before? Rio: Be Drew that'd be 😥 Buster: Course not Buster: My parents would kill me Rio: Guess you have more stuff to steal Rio: luckily we've just been gifted something so that's as good as you can hope I suppose Buster: No bullshit, are you okay? Rio: It just shook me up a bit Rio: but now I've had time to calm down Buster: You can stay here any time and for any reason Buster: You know that Rio: I know Rio: I promise I don't need that though Rio: even though I miss you Rio: wish you were here Buster: I miss you too Buster: I'll come and see you this weekend Buster: Move some shit around Rio: Can you? Rio: don't if you can't Buster: I can Buster: And I want to Rio: I wish they were from you Rio: not an unsubtle hint Buster: I don't need any hints Buster: I just ordered some Buster: But we can track the delivery on these, like Rio: I love you Rio: see who gets here first, you or the flowers Buster: I love you Buster: But they better or else we are gonna have to have a word with whoever the fuck delivers shit to your place Rio: 😂 Rio: its not quite that rough that the postie throws it and runs Buster: Says you Rio: What does that mean? 😏 Buster: It means I've only got your word for it since I can't exactly forgo the hotel and sleep over Rio: You'd prefer your hotel, I'm not gonna oversell it that hard, like Buster: I ain't gonna deny that either Buster: Unless you stayed there and left me alone at the hotel Rio: That just ain't gonna happen Rio: never ever Rio: least no one here is really keeping that close a check on where I am Rio: much easier Buster: Yeah fuck knows where I'm gonna say I am if anyone asks Buster: I'll obviously think of something as per but the standard excuses are gonna start sounding like they are exactly that one of these days Rio: I know Rio: be easier if visiting your sister was a little more in question Rio: but that would require actually doing that so Buster: As much as I love you, babe Rio: I know Rio: she's settled well though Buster: No need to try and make any friends when she's got Junior, is there? Buster: He more or less guarantees her an easier life Rio: Alright for some Rio: lucky he's such a nerd they let him skip Buster: Exactly Rio: Why you gotta be so overachieving, huh Rio: I'm so bored without you Buster: I didn't get put forward a year, I'm clearly not working hard enough actually Rio: Nah, you just don't have crazy genius brain Rio: which I think is probably a good thing Rio: and your school would never, doing everything by the 100 year old book Buster: Cheers Buster: For the compliment and the reminder Rio: You know you're still going to get everything you want Buster: Course I am Buster: I've earned it despite my lack of a genius level IQ Rio: Are you mad I called you not a genius? Buster: Like you said, it's a good thing Buster: Fuck being a weirdo Rio: Bit rude Buster: Come on Rio: You don't need to call anyone a weirdo if you're not mad Buster: You know what I mean Buster: I'm perfect as I am Rio: Okay Buster: Don't get mad Buster: Just 'cause I ain't Rio: 🙄 I'm not Rio: shh Buster: Convincing Rio: Well I will be if you keep going on Buster: Behave Rio: Come over and make me Mr. Perfect 😏 Buster: Friday afternoon Buster: Soon as school's over and done with Rio: 😾 I guess I'll behave then then Buster: Are you gonna be perfect? Rio: Aren't I always? 😇 Buster: You know you are Buster: But you also know I wanna hear you promise Rio: I promise I'll be perfect for you Buster: Good girl Rio: Buster Buster: Rio Rio: You're so rude Rio: distracting me Buster: What are you doing that needs your full attention? Rio: I'm trying to cook Buster: I'll leave you to focus then, yeah? Buster: Wouldn't wanna be even ruder or anything Rio: Don't you dare Buster: You know I always dare Rio: Oh, so we're playing now? Buster: Yeah Rio: And you aren't playing nice Buster: I didn't make any promises to be Rio: Me either Rio: 'til Friday Buster: You can't help yourself though Buster: You're an angel Rio: For my sins Rio: and yours Buster: What sins are those? Rio: If I need to remind you, then its really been way too long since we last did a visit Buster: Or I need to remind you how heavenly everything we've ever done together is Rio: I wouldn't mind that reminder Buster: Call me Rio: [does] Buster: Tell me the kitchen ain't on fire Rio: It ain't Rio: Dinner is gonna be late Rio: but we'll all survive Buster: Well I'm not sorry about that Buster: I've gotta wait til Friday to have dinner with you Rio: I can't wait to cook for you Buster: Don't make me miss you more Rio: You wait 'til I have my own place proper Rio: treat you like such a 👑 all day every day Buster: I'm not sure I can wait, baby Buster: Jesus Rio: Next time your parents are away, tell me and I'll get the next flight Rio: never guaranteeing a free house here but we can play then Buster: Hold on, I'll check the calendar Buster: [a date] Rio: It's done Buster: Easily Rio: then when you go uni we can be together all the time Buster: Every day Rio: Can't we just be 18 now? Buster: I swear I feel older than that already Rio: Me too Rio: its crazy we've been doing all this over 2 years now Rio: never mind everything else Buster: Yeah Buster: Looking at their calendar only proves that my parents treat me like I'm older when it suits 'em Rio: Good for parties Rio: good for me and you Rio: but it must feel so big when its just you in that house Rio: my poor baby Buster: Technically not good enough though 'cause I can't move out or change schools Buster: But I ain't complaining Buster: Especially when I've got you to keep me company if it gets lonely Buster: Just one call away, like Buster: And like you said, the parties and visits mean I rarely am alone anyway Buster: We'd definitely have gotten closer to getting caught if I had different parents as well Rio: It won't last forever, even if it feels like it Rio: best place for you to be right now Rio: and I'll always be here Rio: no matter what Rio: sometimes I forget no one knows Rio: when I'm talking to you Rio: but then its painfully obvious again when we have to hide it Buster: I know Buster: Me too Buster: But that doesn't have to be forever either Buster: We can tell 'em when we're older Rio: We'll have to Rio: I can't just suddenly decide I wanna move to America when you happen to be going too Buster: And when I propose, you won't be able to hide a diamond that big Rio: You can't just say things like that Buster: Don't you wanna marry me? Rio: Of course I do Buster: Good Rio: You really want to marry me Rio: and be with me forever Buster: Of course I do Rio: Buster, I love you so much Rio: how are you real Buster: I could ask you the same question Buster: But I reckon whatever you think makes me unreal does the same to you Rio: You're just Rio: I'm just so glad you're in this as much as I am Rio: we want the same things Buster: I've never half arsed anything in my life, I'm not about to start with the most important part of it Rio: That's why I love you Rio: you're so dedicated and passionate and Rio: fuck Buster: It's for you as much as it is me Buster: I ain't forgotten the future you want Buster: I'm gonna give you everything Rio: Just marry me now Rio: Jesus Buster: Not until you can openly wear the ring every single day Rio: Okay Rio: deal Buster: I'll get you something else to wear in the meanwhile Buster: A ring that's not so obvious Rio: Baby Buster: I fucking love you Buster: There needs to be another word for it that's more descriptive or whatever Buster: Just more everything Rio: I get it Rio: I get you, you get me Rio: There's nothing I wanna do where I don't want you with me Rio: other people don't even register, never mind compare Buster: I feel that too Buster: Since I was a kid Rio: No one else could hold my attention like you Buster: 'Cause there's nobody else like me Rio: Not even close Buster: You won't ever regret choosing me Buster: I'll make sure you don't Rio: I know Rio: but it was never a choice really Rio: not in a bad way just in a Rio: I don't even know Rio: like we was meant to be from the start Buster: I know Buster: Like you said, we're the same in that and loads of other shit Rio: Plus you're the hottest boy to ever walk the planet so obviously, you're mine 😋 Buster: Yeah, that too, like Buster: But even if you weren't the most beautiful girl I've ever seen, I'd still want you to be mine Buster: 'Cause you're the best in so many other ways as well Buster: And I'll never be over how perfect you are or what you make me feel like Rio: Stop being perfect and sincere when I'm just trying to live over here Buster: We've established I can't Buster: Or won't Rio: How do you do that Rio: cheer me up Rio: make me forget Buster: 'Cause I always get what I want Buster: And I want that for you Rio: You're the best Buster: I know Buster: So I deserve you Rio: What do you wanna do when you're here? Rio: Aside from have me be perfect, obviously Buster: We need to get you a ring, of course Buster: Unless you want me to surprise you with it Rio: 😁😁😁 Buster: If that's what you actually look like, show me Rio: [the most excited selfie] Buster: Baby Rio: Daddy Rio: tbh Buster: Tell me what you wanna do when I'm there Buster: Aside from saying that again, obviously Rio: 😏 and again and again Rio: Hmm Rio: just be with you Rio: I don't care what we're doing, as long as its what we wanna do Rio: makes a change from my routine Buster: Well that's the least I can do Buster: Don't worry Rio: I'm never worried Rio: not when I'm with you Buster: Good Buster: You're safe with me Buster: Even if you forget to lock every door Rio: I won't Rio: I'm not a total idiot Buster: I know how smart you are, babe Rio: 🙄 Buster: Don't Buster: I'm serious Rio: Its whatever Rio: I don't need to be smart Rio: just work it Buster: You are though regardless Rio: Whatever you say, babe Buster: You gonna listen to whatever I say? Rio: 🙉🤭 Buster: Alright then Rio: Awh, you mad at me? Buster: Is that what you're trying to do? Rio: Maybe Rio: has it worked? Buster: Try harder Rio: 😤😠💪 Buster: Come on Rio: . Rio: That's me not replying, 'cos nothing makes you madder than being ignored Buster: Well played Rio: Thank you Rio: If I do it for real will you call me again? Buster: How could I resist? Rio: Don't Rio: only me who's gotta resist talking to you Rio: which is really really hard Buster: I'll make your efforts feel worth it Rio: 😣 Buster: I promise Rio: Okay Rio: I can do it Buster: Prove it Buster: [calls]

[theblondegoesabroad]

Day 401

Monday 8th March 2021

International Women’s day – it is today and is about recognition for the women’s rights movements around the world. All about equality and the progress that women have made and continue to make today. I for one am all for it, after working in a rather sexist workplace for the last year I am proud of the women who have been standing up for their rights, for fighting for education and equality in a male dominated world. As an engineer, in a mainly male dominated work place, it is eye opening to see how little respect you have as a young person but even less so as a female. I know we have already come a long way, but there is so much further to go. The theme for this years womens day, is ‘chose to challenge, a challenged world is an alert world, and from challenge comes change’. I feel that this year has been a big challenge for me, and with my annual evaluation for Eloy coming up tomorrow, I shall take these words with me, as they are a good reminder. I am definitely going to challenge the management of the workplace and the lack of support I have received – so wish me luck!

I wouldn’t say I am a feminist, although I think everyone should be (as I don’t like this need everyone has to label everything as something), but I am strongly for the social, political, economic and personal ideologies and movements to establish equality in our world.

Note : to clarify maybe, but most likely to further confuse; I don’t like labels because are they are so defining, if you call yourself a vegetarian and then eat some chicken and everyone says hey aren’t your supposed to be a vegetarian as if you have broke up clearly defined rule against the world, but the point of being a vegetarian could be for environmental reasons etc, and the fact that even being a vegetarian for most of the week can make a huge difference. So much more of a difference that those who eat meat every day and buy non-local ingredients etc. Labels were put in place to help us, to guide us, but not to confine us and restrict us. So, no matter how you see yourself, remember “nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could only do a little”, every step towards a cause helps. And today it is for women, so happy international womens day to all the important women in my world. Thank you to all those to have been examples to me, who have supported and guided me through so much.

Today my day was a day, I was rather nervous, as I have my evaluation coming up tomorrow, and honestly, I didn’t sugar coat my experience so far in the evaluation form I had to fill out. I think it is important to stand up for yourself and say what you feel, or else nothing changes, (its like people who don’t vote and then complain about the government, so frustrating, either do something about it, or live with it) however, it isn’t easy, and I find in French it is even harder. I have always been proud of myself for standing up and speaking my mind at work, uni etc, I often felt comfortable bringing up confrontational topics (that I believed in) at my other work places, but in French I find is so much harder. I want to recapture that strong, confident, professional ‘air’ I used to be able to hold onto, but in French, I find under-pressure my grasp on the language escapes me, and that really frustrates me. I think it is just down to experience in stressful situations in another language and hopefully will the more I have, the easier it will be. That has proved to be true with presentations so fingers crossed. But regardless, I didn’t hold back, so I am sure they wont either, and I don’t love confrontations so it was playing on my mind a bit! Benoit was home today and cleaned the whole house so that was really nice! We received our le cruset pot today, we ordered it for our valentines day present to ourselves and it finally arrived! Can’t wait to use it tonight! We also got told our Christmas present from NZ has arrived but due to the estimated value of the package we apparently have to pay an importation tax or something. It is super expensive and I was shocked and very frustrated, I have been waiting for this present for months and then just as it is in my grasp, we have to pay for it. So that was a bit hard to process on top of all my nerves. And then I went to help Benoit rearrange everything after the cleaning and ended up knocking and breaking my favourite little flower pot, so that was the straw that broke the camels back! Heres hoping tomorrow will be better! During my lunch break I did a combat workout to blow off some steam before getting back into work. After work, I made a new recipe, Jamie of course, a cauliflower risotto in our new le cruset. I was curious to what it would be like, as I personally love cauliflower but it isn’t the most flavoursome vegetable so I wondered what it would be like. And overall it surprised me. It was delicious!

Love Kate xxxxx

One: the woman figures in my life, from my direct family, to family friends, to Benoits family, to my group of girls, it truly is a blessing to have you all in my life Two: our new pot! What a treat and I love the colour Three: sleep, it was a hard day today, and it was good to crawl into bed

[taeguboi]

So Far Away PART 07

So it’s kinda been a while since I added on to this series. I had specific ideas for this one so it took a while to bring it all together and I also wanted a longer part again like the 1st. I’m also trying something a bit different and incorporating fake texts and whatnot and I might go back to the previous parts and do the same if necessary. 

This involves many flashbacks so I hope they are apparent... there is a lot of switching between the present and past.

Angst, smut

PART: 01 / 02 / 03 / 04 / 05 / 06 // Masterlist

“1. He’s going to fucking hit me

2. ...Or maybe he will just leave…?

3. He’s going to give in again.”

Hoseok releases a deep sigh in attempt to untense himself, and letting his shoulders rest down, he turns away and Jeongguk guesses the elder has no fight left in him about this entire situation, so he is surprised when Hoseok finally speaks, managing to grab Jeongguk by the wrist without even looking.

“No questions; follow me.”

Jeongguk tries to hold back a nervous laugh as he kind of feels like he has no choice in the matter, being dragged with Hoseok’s firm grip around his wrist… not that he is finding himself trying to pull away. This isn’t really the way he imagined this would be, but this is going to happen, this is happening, it will have happened.

And maybe it can be just that easy. What if actually, all this crap from the past few days just got dropped and things went back to normal? Because this right now, is basically the same as many other times; ignore, argue, fuck. It’s funny really, Jeongguk thinks, it sounds so simple, yet it somehow becomes so complicated.

Trying his hardest not to think, entering Hoseok’s room, he allows himself to be pushed up against the door in the same way as Hoseok had allowed Jeongguk to all those months ago.

“...but unlike you, I'm willing study and leave one night of getting pissed and high, so you just go and fuck off to that randomer’s house and leave me in peace, yeah?” Jeongguk snaps.

“Come on man, it's basically mandatory to go to the first party since New Year’s all together, the crew from the house, so just get that pencil out your butt and let loose for once, will ya?” Hoseok replies, clearly convinced that his persuasion skills are top notch and that his stubborn child dorm mate will be out of here by the end of the hour.

“I said ‘fuck off’, didn't I? Why the heck do you care whether I go to the stupid thing or not? It's not like it's anything special; I can go do that shit any other night, and not with you, thanks…” Jeongguk states, turning back to his desk to read. “Close the door on your way out, will ya?”

Hoseok grunts in frustration. He can't believe what is happening here: the first house party of the year, and this idiot would rather be studying? No fun at all; no wonder there's never a day we don't fucking argue. Why the fuck did the others put me of all people up to this shit anyway? Kid can stay in his room all year for all I care.

Sure, Jeongguk was probably correct - Hoseok sure as hell doesn't give a damn how the kid spends his night, but on the other hand it's physically painful to see someone torture themselves and enjoy themselves so little when there's plenty of time to waste for now.

“Your choice, I guess…” Hoseok grumbles and leaves Jeongguk’s room.

Finally. Jeongguk thinks to himself, getting up to shut the neglected door. The sound of the door being shut is followed by a vibration buzzing against Jeongguk’s desk.

“Hngh, what now?” he whines to himself, picking up the phone.

1 New Message

Why is everyone such a bad influence goddammit? Some of us came to uni for a qualification and to learn, not to get smashed and lose brain cells each night!

Jeongguk sighs and lets his phone drop harshly onto the desk as he picks up a textbook and begins reading.

*

All has gone well for Jeongguk in this past hour, efficiently studying and being productive, but of course, this type of working environment always ceases in one way or another around here. It is another text message that infects his productive bubble and kills it completely.

2 New Messages

Unfortunately for Jeongguk, Jimin is at the very same address as ‘the crew from the dorm’, meaning tonight is going to be a bother either way and he can’t really win: don’t go to and meet Jimin and get his phone spammed all night, or go to this thing and get his ears spammed by Hoseok all night about how persuasive and amazing he is…

Jeongguk allows Hoseok to attack his neck with aggressive purple marks and this only makes him want to fight back in a similar manner. Why does he always give in to this guy? It doesn't even take for his elder to say more than a sentence anymore to be drawn in. Jeongguk decides it’s time to take control after the third mark has been made on him and pushes Hoseok off him, forcing him to release from his bruised neck.

Hoseok glares at Jeongguk in confusion and Jeongguk senses a bit of anger in Hoseok’s eyes at this sudden movement.

“Don't even try that shit with me ‘Guk” Hoseok huffs, already frantically fumbling to undo his jeans.

“Don't you have somewhere to be?”

“Just fucking get down on your knees before I regret it” is all Hoseok instructs.

In a pit of defeat, Jeongguk obeys, not daring to even tease his elder; he has wanted for this to happen again so much that he knows he might as well do this under Hoseok’s conditions.

Just under a sentence is all it can take.

I knew he'd come around, Hoseok thinks to himself upon happening to catch a glance of Jeongguk in his peripheral vision. Not a further thought of his younger crosses his mind as he focuses on his primary thoughts and focus of tonight.

He knows he looks good.

He could have anyone he wants tonight in this house.

Anyone.

*

A lonely Jimin downs the third shot of the minute as he sees his best friend heading towards him.

“Jeonggukieee! My hubbieee!”

“Are you sure you need me around tonight Chim?” Jeongguk questions, attempting to be seated on the arm chair next to Jimin in the limited space this house has to offer. “‘Seems you're giddy already…”

“Yah ‘Gukkie!” Jimin exclaims, playfully punching the younger on the arm. “That's not how you greet your soul mate!” he pouts, as though it had been Jeongguk to have just whacked him on the arm.

Jeongguk rolls his eyes, barely rubbing his arm. “You don't know what you're saying…”

“I know they're here somewhere; I KNOW THEY CAN HEAR ME! They can hear me having a marriage that's better than theirs!!!!” Jimin shouts, forcing Jeongguk into his arms whilst scanning the room.

Attempting to hush his boisterous friend, Jeongguk holds his hand out Jimin mouth “Jesus Chim, shhhh! Or it won't be just Namjoon and Seokjin hearing you…” Jeongguk informs, eyes darting round the room.

“Aw what's the use ‘Guk? I'm just not up to my usual standard tonight… especially not with him around…” replies Jimin, resting his cheek into his limp fist, glancing across the room with jealousy.

“With who around?”

“You haven't seen him?! With Mr. Dimples over there looking fine as hell, I've got major competition tonight…”

“Where are you even looking?”

“There, look!”

“Where?!”

“There!!!”

Huh?... Jeongguk thinks to himself, not wanting to seem dumb and ask again… but he just cannot understand who Jimin is pointing to. The only guy he can see looking not too shabby is…

Him.

Damn.

He does look fine.

Jeongguk glances up to Hoseok as he shuffles at the elder’s waistband, fully taking in and appreciating the way Hoseok looks down on him with hooded eyes. Perhaps a bit too harshly, Jeongguk grips onto the waistband and slams his fists downwards, roughly releasing Hoseok’s length which is already dripping with precum.

Sliding his thumb over the tip, Jeongguk slides the liquid down the prominent vein, causing Hoseok to hiss - out of pleasure or frustration, Jeongguk is yet to discover.

“Quit fucking playing around ‘Guk. Straight to the point will do.” Hoseok demands, making Jeongguk’s stomach turn with anticipation. Despite most of the boys’ past sexual encounters being somewhat angsty, this darker side to Hoseok only excites the younger, almost making Jeongguk forget to care about his actions over the past few days, because he's starting to think that maybe this argument was worth it.

Besides, it's getting progressively harder to see Hoseok under any other light, particularly when he can hear him cursing under his breath as he forces himself into Jeongguk’s bitter mouth, resulting in Jeongguk submissively groaning, hoping there's a chance his elder could be a bit kinder on him. Of course, his whines prove pointless in his case and only encourage Hoseok to thrust himself in more aggressively, and Jeongguk can't help but allow for himself to be used and abused.

The way that jacket hugs his slender figure; the glasses he’s wearing as a fashion statement that make him look so mature and grand; the choker that hugs his golden slender neck… Jeongguk just wishes the guy would take off the jacket already; they’re indoors for fuck’s sake! He can tell the guy is wearing a simple black shirt underneath, simple, yet so enticing…

...and who has Jeongguk been thinking about in such a hungry manner for the past hour?

Fucking Hoseok, of all people; the one dorm mate that always fucking rubs Jeongguk up the wrong way, yet tonight, the thought is gradually building, the big ‘what if?’

‘What if we rubbed the right way?’

“Oh my god! Gross ‘Gukkie! I didn’t know your mind worked that way!” Jimin exclaims as Jeongguk’s heart drops into his stomach, not realizing he was thinking out loud.

“Fuck’s sake Jimin, let me live! This is horrible! This is terrible! This is…”

“Fucked up!” Jimin interrupts. “I thought you said you hated him? And now, I’ve been paying attention to you Jeon Jeongguk for the best of an hour, don’t think I haven’t been, I feel like we’re one sentence away from you telling me you wanna fuck him…”

“Aish! No no no!” Jeongguk exaggerates, flapping his arms around. “It’s not that; it’s just… I’m surprised I guess?”

“Surprised at what? ‘Guk, I know you basically want to rip the guy’s limbs off half the time, but you can’t honestly be telling me you have never noticed anything attractive about him?” Jimin asks, nodding in Hoseok’s general direction.

“Honestly, I swear to God, no… no I haven’t… This is fucking awful, I shouldn’t have come here… Why do I let you persuade me into shit like this?” Jeongguk groans, convinced that he is about to walk straight out of the door… until he sees that someone is approaching them. “Wait - oh n-n-no! Jimin! Why the fuck did you do that?!” he rages, gritting his teeth.

As Hoseok walks over to the chair which Jimin and Jeongguk are sat on, all Jeongguk can feel is dread and confusion.

‘Great. Now I have to talk to him.’

‘Fuck you Jimin.’

‘And fuck my mind.’

“You fuckin�� love it ‘Gukkie. You have no idea how good it is to watch you squirm… Oh god, I bet you’re so hard under there, just from cock sucking…”

Jeongguk can only groan once more to Hoseok’s dirty, almost abusive words, and he almost expects for Hoseok to come undone in his mouth there and then. Instead, the elder removes himself from the younger’s weak mouth before he can reach his high, observing the saliva deliciously trickling past Jeongguk’s bottom lip.

Never able to find the words, Hoseok mentally adores the appearance of an already fatigued Jeongguk on his knees beneath him. Jeongguk is his favourite guilty pleasure with his broad appearance and defined body that looks so appetizing when being contrastingly submissive. Hoseok just loves the way he can make Jeongguk into a mess.

Speechless, Jeongguk stares longingly at Hoseok, unsure whether to stand up. In his mind, Hoseok could leave at any moment, still. What if he’s just messing with Jeongguk? What if this is just a thing to get him worked up and confused?

“Well I made my move. ‘Didn’t hear you complaining..”

“Fuck you Hoseok.” Jeongguk grunts, the words that leave his tongue feeling so familiar. He decides to live up to these words, and stumbling to his feet, he points demandingly towards the bed.

“Okay, your move is over.” Hoseok asserts, ignoring Jeongguk’s silent direction, and he pushes Jeongguk down onto the bed.

Passing Jeongguk and Jimin, Hoseok smirks “I see my persuasion skills are as ever superlative…” before continuing through to the kitchen, assumingly for more drinks.

Hoseok’s comment earns an obvious snigger from Jimin and that becomes the sprinkles on the icing on the cake so Jeongguk shuffles and vacates his seat restlessly.

“Dude, where you going to?”

“Bathroom”

“Well hurry, I already feel such a loner” Jimin pouts as Jeongguk storms through one of the living area doors. Jeongguk’s eyes scan the hallway for familiar faces and soon enough, his target is acquired.

If he wasn’t already feeling pushed over the edge, the sight of Hoseok stripping himself of his jacket in the kitchen now definitely is making Jeongguk fall into the mystery pit that is his newfound lust for his… well for the lack of a better word, enemy... My word, is he dancing for that small crowd of people?

Yes, Jeongguk was planning on going to the bathroom, so it’s not like he completely lied to Jimin back in the living room…

Storming past the crowds of people conversing amongst one another, Jeongguk paces closer and closer, heartbeat increasing with each step, a rush of adrenaline hitting him as he grabs onto the wrist of the boy that has been driving him insane all night.

“Hey, what the fuck man…?...” Hoseok questions, struggling to release from Jeongguk’s firm grip. Stumbling down the hallway, still attempting to escape the younger’s hold, Hoseok stutters out variations of that sentence, to which Jeongguk simply replies.

“Just get in” he demands, forcing Hoseok into the empty bathroom stall beneath the stairway. As though possessed, Jeongguk manages to shut and lock the door and push the elder against the wall in under 2 seconds. Before Hoseok can continue to question or argue, he feels something at the last place he expected as Jeongguk’s lips are desperately forced upon his own.

It takes a moment for Hoseok to register just what is happening right now and to be sure this isn’t some weird ass dream. This is real; Jeongguk has just secluded him and made a move... Has he been on the wacky backy again?... 

Conflicting thoughts scramble across the elder’s mind. On one hand, this guy’s lips are really soft and this whole scenario is strangely sensual, but on the other hand, he hates Jeongguk and his overly disciplined, cautious personality.

This is a much different side to Jeongguk though. This right here is whimsical, careless… random…

‘Fuck it.’ Hoseok thinks, losing tension beneath Jeongguk and mindlessly returning the kiss. ‘I’ll just pretend I was so wasted I had no idea what I was doing; maybe it’ll make a good story.’

Climbing over Jeongguk on the bed, Hoseok in no way holds back the more angry side of his thoughts. “Seriously Jeongguk, I don’t know why the fuck you have to be like this… You confuse the fuck out of me…”

“Be like what?” Jeongguk devilishly raises an eyebrow, propping himself up slightly on one elbow. “Don’t fucking lie though; you want me so badly right now” he states with certainty as he reaches behind Hoseok’s heated neck to grasp onto a clump of hair and draw him in closer

“I fucking do” Hoseok breathes deeply, his eyes taking in the lustful look that is returned.

“Just like you did back then.”

“Shut up” are the only words that leave Hoseok’s mouth as his mouth comes crashing down hungrily onto Jeongguk.

The sound of a door closing resounds across the whole dorm, causing the two boys to freeze for a moment.

“Shit, what was that?” Hoseok questions, placing a finger over Jeongguk’s lips to hush him.

Pushing aside Hoseok’s hand, Jeongguk smirks and glances at the doorway.

“Probably Yoongi.”

A rapid knocking comes booming from the other side of the door as Jeongguk and Hoseok scramble for their clothes, flustered, their actions quite literally being louder than words as Jeongguk manages to knock over a bin trying to get his leg back through his trousers and Hoseok’s fist taps the hollow wall as he throws his shirt back on.

“Come on! Other people also need to take a piss!” A voice booms, causing Jeongguk to let out a small breath of laughter, and Hoseok can’t help but think he rather likes this side to Jeongguk; a smile is much more attractive on him.

Jeongguk flicks the lock on the door, revealing himself and Hoseok to the queue of impatient people. Nervously coughing, Jeongguk bullshits his way out of this situation, ensuring his words are loud enough for all to hear.

“Well Hoseok, at least you’re feeling better now… I-I-I need to go see Jimin, ‘kay? Have a good night.” he stutters before urgently exiting back to the living area, ignorantly barging past anyone in his way.

Still slouched in the same chair, Jimin props himself up upon seeing his friend re enter the room “Dude, is your stomach okay? You were away for like, half an hour -- what were you doing in there…?...” Jimin questions, to which Jeongguk drops his head to hide his expression of shame. Ducking his head down to get a glance of Jeongguk’s face, Jimin changes the question “...or who were you doing in there?! Oh my God, you did, didn’t you? You and dimples! Jeon Jeongguk!!!”

“Can we just fucking leave, this place is a dive…”

Jimin chuckles at Jeongguk’s apparent shame “Fine… but you do know now if I ever need a favour, I’ll remember this, right?”

“Yeah, yeah, fine, fine, as long as we can leave!” Jeongguk exclaims, tugging at Jimin’s sleeve.

*

Stepping outside through the back door, the most likely place of escape from the judging crowd, Hoseok searches his pockets for the packet he bought earlier and pulls out the cheap straights. He internally curses himself for even buying them because the temptation is even more real now, and staring at the packet, he is indecisive as whether to open the packet or be a good citizen and pass them on to someone else instead.

Almost unconsciously he finds himself unravelling the film.

Tugging at Jeongguk’s shirt, Hoseok urgently strips Jeongguk carelessly, not giving a shit even if Yoongi, or any one of their house mates, were to enter the room right now. Attacking Jeongguk’s neck once again, he moans at the friction of Jeongguk’s rough jeans against his unclothed erection and his attention travels downwards to unzip the article of clothing that is standing between him and one of the assets of Jeongguk that Hoseok always finds himself coming back for.

Releasing Jeongguk of all lower clothing, Hoseok stares hungrily, glad to be the reason for Jeongguk’s dick to be throbbing and full of anticipation that he will be the reason that pretty thing will come undone in pleasure. No one else is responsible for Jeongguk’s arousal this time. Only Hoseok.

Hoseok strokes at Jeongguk’s sensitive entrance, as though pressing the repeat button on a song because Jeongguk whimpers yet again under the elder’s touch, wanting to use his desperate sounds to give Hoseok a signal that he wants to be all his.

Jeongguk has only ever let Hoseok be dominant over him to this extent. He has picked up that Hoseok needs to have this amount of control to feel good… Typically, one would offer the world to someone they think they are in love with, but Jeongguk and Hoseok aren't emotionally typical people. To Hoseok, Jeongguk delivers his feelings via the way he experiments and compromises in the bedroom, always being sure to remember Hoseok’s likes and dislikes.

Jeongguk whines submissively on purpose. He know it flicks Hoseok’s arousal switch from 1-3000 in just seconds. He knows that when he lets Hoseok have his way, it means they can keep fucking and therefore Jeongguk can continue to have his touch.

Circling around Jeongguk’s rim, Hoseok elicits a range of beautiful sounds from Jeongguk, his ears happily taking in each and every one.

“Mmm…. Ah….. Ohh…. Fuck….”

The younger’s sounds are just too delicious to just watch and listen to, so Hoseok’s lips crash down on Jeongguk’s once more, devouring Jeongguk’s sensual kisses and noises.

“Mmmm….” Jeongguk groans, ready to pull out the one sound he knows drives Hoseok crazy every time. “Oh…. Oppa....” he moans.

Hoseok freezes and backs off immediately.

“I'm sorry, is this…?... Is that a fucking joke Jeongguk??” he questions, clearly pissed off despite being so ravenous for Jeongguk just a moment ago.

“Huh?” Jeongguk responds, confused, as Hoseok climbs off the bed.

At some local fast food chain, Seokjin, Jimin, Yoongi and Jeongguk agreed to grab a bite together before Seokjin’s shift at the cafe. In a newly created group chat, Jimin has decided to have a bit of fun, with Seokjin currently being on the receiving end of his ruthlessness. Despite the various uncertainties that previously lay beneath the surface of the boys’ light-hearted banter and joking, Jimin wastes no time in making sure everyone gets roasted, having been amused for the past 3 quarters of an hour.

“Jimin no! Don’t even post that in the chat!” Seokjin exclaims, reaching across the table in attempt to steal Jimin’s phone as the younger mercilessly giggles whilst typing

“When….you…. re….a….lize….you...are…. Jeon...fucked…. Send!”

“Chiiiim! What if Namjoon sees that?”

“Oh!!!! Seokjin exposed!!!” Jeongguk hollers, taking another bite of his burger as Jimin uncontrollably giggles about the entire situation, clearly entertained at his new found hobby of zooming in on mug shots of the other boys.

“What do you mean ‘exposed’?” Yoongi snorts, picking at the cold fries on the table and pausing from eating to continue “Do you guys even pay attention?”

“True… Awh I’m sorry Seokjinnie…” Jeongguk coos teasingly. “...Sorry if the love of your life sees such an ugly picture of you…”

“Guys! Seriously!” Seokjin whines as the flash on his phone camera blinds his two youngest friends across the table. “Gotcha!” he chirps at Jimin, delighted that he has taken his chance to get even “When….you….want….to….flirt….but...got...no...gaaame….”

“Oh touche ‘Jin! I’m getting there okay?”

“Oh come on Jimin! Your game is slower than a snail on dope… Even Jeongguk and Hoseok do more than you!”

“Implying what?” Jeongguk huffs.

“You don’t honestly think you can fuck him forever and not catch feelings do ya?” Yoongi bluntly questions.

“I knew it. You’re still fucking laughing at me, taking the piss, and now literally right to my fucking face?! That's bold for you Jeongguk…” Hoseok grunts, fastening his trousers hurriedly.

“Hoseok?”

“Don't play fucking dumb with me ‘Guk! Now it all makes sense. One final piece of the jigsaw gets put into place. I even gave you the benefit of the doubt eventually, that you... but now I know…” Hoseok utters, clenching his fist in frustration.

“That I what?!” Jeongguk seethes.

“...I'm just a joke to you aren't I?!” Hoseok piques, the anguish and upset clear in his face.

“What are you rambling on about?!” Jeongguk asks demandingly, sitting himself up to search for his own clothes.

Hoseok turns away, finding it into be the only way to conceal the tears welling up “God I'm so stupid! Of course you were always gonna tell Jimin everything! I mean, compared to me, you're just a fucking kid! It’s all fun and games for you!”

“Oh please Yoongi!” Jeongguk grunts, snapping a picture of him. “When….you….try….to….be….an….ex….pert….on….ev...er...y….thing….but...then….you...for…..get….what….day….it...is”

“Quit avoiding the subject Jeongguk… Especially when I have to live with this crap from the two of you… You know honestly, I never know when to shut my ears while you argue or shut my eyes when you…”

“Fuck!” Seokjin exclaims.

“Yeah, that” Yoongi shrugs, pleased to not need to say it himself.

“No-no-no, I’m not on about that!” Seokjin whines, showing Yoongi the messenger screen.

“Yeah, so? Namjoon saw it; does it matter?”

“That….feeling….when…..da….ddy….sees….your….ugly….mug….shots….” Jeongguk sniggers, apparently having already snook another shot of Seokjin.

“Guys! Please! And why ‘daddy’?!” Seokjin quotes

“Pfft, please. It’s Namjoon” Jeongguk smirks.

“No! I bet he calls him ‘oppa’!” Jimin exclaims, unable to control his laughter.

“Hilarious Jimin…” Seokjin throws back sarcastically “He’s younger than me anyway, so why the fuck…”

“It’s motherfucking Namjoon, I rest my case!” Jimin once again booms, being shushed by Seokjin, creating a great shot for Jimin to snap.

“Ho-ho-hooo!” Jimin chuckles as he looks back at the shot of Seokjin he has just taken. “When…..you…..haaaaave…...to….re….miiind…daaaaa -- no -- oooo…...ppaaaaa….to….be…..quiet…...while…...you’re…..riding…..that…..dick…..”

“Oh no!” Seokjin whines, throwing himself into his arms on the table in shame.

“Hoseok! Fucking explain!”

“Man, I… I can't do this anymore. I'm out of here” Hoseok utters, making a hasty exit out the bedroom

Composing his appearance as well as himself emotionally, Jeongguk rushes out of the room to catch up with Hoseok, with the smallest chance that he could just talk to him.

Upon leaving the room, the only sight and sound that Jeongguk is given is the slamming of the front door of the dorm.

Finally arriving back to the dorm and slumping on the couch, Jeongguk unlocks his phone to catch up on unread messages since being out for lunch with his friends. His attention goes straight to the group chat with an unread message, which he assumes will be one of the guys responding to Jimin’s photography ‘skills’.

Hoseok left the group chat.

part 08 here

[mammawolff]

I'm going to apologize now for what might turn into a long post, as I can't remember how to do a read more on mobile. So. It's once again Bell Let's Talk day. Now I realize that maybe, last year I was in a better position mentally, financially, and healthier than I am right now. But, that's the thing about mental illness. It's a daily battle. So. Let's talk. I don't think I've ever actually told anyone my full story. I was diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety when I was eight. This was a very poor time in my life. I was in the office of my school every day, for one reason or another. Funny thing about schools. They all claim to be against bullying, but they only notice the physical aspect. A rotund child defending herself against verbal attacks? Clearly she's the bully. Unfortunately, I grew accustomed to being anxious around figures of authority because of these childhood encounters. I'd stop trying to defend my actions to these adults who weren't listening, and instead clam up and cry. And clearly, crying means I feel guilty and therefore I'm the attacker. Yeah. My school was pretty fucky. Add onto that it's small town, uni-religious, and fairly cult-ish in their actions. My family, having just moved there with no family established, got the brunt end of a lot of attacks. Weird ass elitism at its finest. Anyways. During this time my home life was pretty shit, too. My parents divorced when I was four, and we moved to this town two days before my fifth birthday. My mum was determined to cut our father out of our lives, so we didn't actually get to see him until I was 6, almost 7. Also pretty fucky. My mum wasn't the greatest mother around. Yes, she put a roof over our heads and fed us, but she was very quick to attack us verbally & physically, and if she thought we were lying about something she'd beat us til we told her what she wanted to hear. So, my dad became somewhat of a god in my eyes. Guardian angel, shelter from the storm, something unattainable for a very long time(to 5, 6, 7 year old me. A year and a half ish is a very long time for a kid). Eventually, he was able to take us every weekend. He bounced from house to house, job to job, but he provided what little child support he could spare and he always made sure to have a house with at least two bedrooms, so we'd always have a place. I tried so often to tell him what the combination of mum & school were doing to my tiny brain and body, but I never had any idea what abuse was, as a definition. I was terrified what mum might do if she found out I tattled. She'd already kept us all away from dad for so long, how long could she do that again? So I stayed silent. When I was 8, I met with my school's guidance counsellor. I had only a handful of friends who weren't terrified of me(I grew tall and wide pretty fast), my grades were shit(even for elementary school), and I was always late. Not to mention those daily visits to the principal's office. He's the one who prompted mum to take me in, see if all this stress had caused something to fuck up in my brain. Spoiler alert; it did. So, I was put on Anti-D medication. Anti-A's didn't come into play until later. Unfortunately, my body apparently absorbed and adjusts to new medication very, very quickly. By the time I was 10 I was taking handfuls of pills morning, noon, and night, just to maintain this facade of normalcy. Unfortunately, the bullying and abuse was continuing. My grades didn't superbly improve, my school behaviour issues barely subsided. But, the pills continued. I couldn't even tell you what they were or what they did. Mum took care of all that. But, I can tell you one thing, my short term memory problems started when the drugs did. I know it's too late for me now, but man I'm still kinda pissed at past me for not speaking up. Grade five was a shift for me. Negatively. I had a highly abusive teacher, bullying was at an all-time high and three of my friends deemed me too weird/sketchy/uncool to play with any more. My dad had to move into a townhouse and out of the farmhouses he'd been occupying for years. He had to get rid of the dog(Sonia) who'd been my best friend for well over a year. Soon after, we had to get rid of Queen(cookie), a dog we'd gotten from my friend's dog's second litter. I couldn't go riding any more(we kept my dad's landlord's horses and cows on the property), and I could no longer help on the farm. My weekend salvation was at an end. About the only freedom I had left was if dad took me flying. I made him take me up for hours, some weekends. I remember bawling on my morning walks to school with my friends, because I hated my life so much. My mum made the doctor ease up my prescriptions(a good thing, honestly), but she didn't ease up the abuse. Neither did my teacher, or the bullies, and I no longer had my beloved animals to keep me sane. I mean, we had Taffy, but she was always Brad's dog. One morning there was a speeding car who I knew couldn't see us down the road. I think my friends knew exactly what I was thinking because they stopped and just hugged me until the car passed us. I was 11 and suicidal. To help me transition off the farm, dad bought me riding lessons from a local Parelli instructor. These helped. I finally had some sort of release again, and best of all I could ride throughout the week, not just the weekends. These ended too. My instructor's lease of the land eventually ran out, and an oil company came in and bought the land. I was 13 when this happened. Still being forced to take drugs, and go to a psychiatrist (who broke client confidentiality so I stopped going and mum stopped paying). When I was 12 I found Wicca, and started turning away from the Church I'd been raised and baptised into. By the time I was 15 I'd fully turned away but still went, to appease my dad. Anyways. I started riding with another instructor and when I was 15 suffered a very traumatic fall, that screwed me up mentally, and I couldn't bring myself to get back on a horse until just last year when I was 20. Amazing what happens when your hormone levels mostly balance out eh? I was still kind of suicidal throughout all of this. Nothing that I would act on, but I kept thinking, "if I were to die, it wouldn't be so bad." I moved in with my dad when I was 15. I was sick of mum's bullshit, we fought violently every day. She'd already kicked my favourite brother out of the house, my sister was almost as bad as she was(she's 9 years older than me and to this day acts like I'm still 10 years old. We've never been close). A plethora of reasons. Mostly being, I was tired of her verbal and mental attacks. The physical stuff mostly ended once I hit 5'7". Definitely didn't happen after I was 5'10". I moved in with dad, quit my prescriptions, came out to him as pagan, then promptly fell in line and went back to church(which I'd quit at mum's) in order to protect myself. He would kick me out if I so much as lit a candle. So, I practiced in secret. My gods were(and are) very understanding and very supportive. Dad's God did not want me in His church, but tolerated me. This was pretty dark time. Me moving in with dad dredged up more custody battle bullshit. But, my relationship with my mum started to get better, sort of. I'm 21 now and we're only just on good speaking terms for more than 48 hours at a time. Then I got Angel. She was pretty much perfect as a puppy. House training was kind of difficult, she proved herself a friggen genius with the turkey incident, but she was mine. She knows exactly what I want, how I'm feeling, what I'm going to ask of her. She's perfect. (Cherub's a rotten little shit but she's still just a puppy and I haven't found the right job for her just yet.) Then, four of my newfound friends died. Car accident. I know I've recounted this story many times so I'll spare the details. But this threw me into a massive identity crisis. They didn't know the real me before they died. Danae looked up to me as a role model, and she didn't know I wasn't Mormon. I was pagan. I had to tell everyone. That Christmas (time ish), I came out of the broom closet again. Only this time to everyone. My "Mormon Moms," as I called them, insisted I was still me and they still loved me. The less accepting wanted to ban me from the graveyard. I still get hassled from their families, if they see me going down. But, a certain member of the community stood up for me. I'll be grateful to him forever. My dad was confused and hurt, but so long as I kept going to church he'd let me stay. Mum still insists it's a phase. I started going back to my hometown for school (only ten minutes away), and connected with my friends again. Then my paternal grandpa died. I never got the chance to say goodbye. Not even a funeral. He visited me, and my aunt and my cousin, but that still hit me extra hard, as it wasn't even 10 days after the 1 year anniversary of the accident. I started to slip again, fast. Dad got a job out east and had left me to move the rest of our things into storage, and I moved back in with mum. This is when I discovered I get severe depression when I have to move. Yay. I discovered my car's engine will cut out once I get to 198km. There is a stretch of road between the two towns that is very long, and very straight, with a sudden swerve to the right and a very steep drop in the road into a gulley. I convinced myself if I could get to 200km before that swerve, I would let my car fly off the cliff. I watched the needle drop closer to the speedometer's limit, noting exactly when the engine cut. I tapped the brakes, and got my car under control before the turn. Cursed myself for being a chicken, then for being so stupid. Angel needed me, if no one else. Half-assed suicide attempt no. 2. School sucked, but for some odd reason my childhood bullies apologized to me and tried to make amends. I accepted and we moved on. Mostly. I guess. Throughout all of this my depression was(and has been) a heavy weight on my shoulders. A darkness at the edge of my vision. Pretty much the only thing that truly lifted that lifted that was Anna. Though I had found new friends on the internet through dA and the ridgearound(love you guys), it was never really at bay. She was really, really, REALLY the only thing that brought true sunlight into my life. The day she was born I cried tears of joy, and thought she was the most perfect creature ever. I still do. She is beautiful. Graduation year brought me Anna, a boyfriend who turned out to be creepy and manipulative and abusive, and the start of my cutting addiction. I fucked up a few months ago. Before that it had been years. More fights with mum. Robin Williams passed and I lost hope for a few months. That was not a good time. He was always a role model to me, because even as a kid I knew what battles he was going through. He made me laugh when no one else could. He showed me that even with my shitty brain, I could be successful. I could fight this. Then he killed himself. I finally moved to Ponoka. Pretended to be an adult. Got cherub. Changed jobs. Found(ed) a coven. Lost Dee, and Anna. She's alive, don't worry. But she's no longer in my life. The horses helped so, so much with my depression. I refuse(d) medication because I can manage my condition, usually. Unfortunately that job ended in part because the mental stress had brought on my depression full force, and even my boss noticed I wasn't happy. So I left and started my MT course, where I am now even broker than usual, even more stressed than usual, and even more depressed than usual. This isn't even every aspect of my depression but it's the main points. Throughout this now 11 year journey, my depression and my anxiety have been with me. They've changed and grown and forced me to change and grow as well. I often wonder how different things would have been had I not refused meds so (relatively) early on. Too late now. But, my point is, I'm still here. I'm still fighting. My survival tactics have changed. When I was 11, what stopped me so many times was "tomorrow is another day" and "what will tomorrow bring?" Now, it's just sheer stubbornness. I'm going to finish my MT, I'm going to get out of debt and I'm going to flee into the middle of the prairies with my dogs and my reptiles and get myself a horse and a plane and I will never step foot in a city again. Just watch me. It doesn't get better. That slogan has never rang true with me. It just changes. You change, and your illness changes as well. But I guess, in some ways, it does get easier. You force yourself to see in colour, to take the bad in every situation and go "at least it isn't _____." And every now and again, you look back at your eight year old self and allow her to cry, because sometimes you need to.

[tevintermagisterium-blog]

*cackles* The OTP ask meme? ALL OF THEM. C: Though, you should focus on yourself and make sure you get some sleep first

Who is the most affectionate? Such depends on the time; at the start, Alnifenen for such acts cause Lithaldoren to panic, especially as he isn't sure it's a serious cause. But eventually it's a shared thing depending on how the others feel. (But primarily Alnifenen)

 Big spoon/Little spoon? Big: AlnifenenLittle: Lithaldoren When giddy, Lithaldoren will TRY to be big but it never works out. 

 Most common argument? How important the other is to themselves and clarifications that they aren't useless. I think if Alnifenen had times and issues with PTSD, it'd send him into a belief that he was useless and Lithaldoren wouldn't take any other answer than he's perfect. 

 Favorite non-sexual activity?FAMILY TIME. to know they've made it from where they started. Just simple movies, meals, family cooking. Going out for walks etc. Who is most likely to carry the other?Fen to carry Lith on his back when alone on a walk at night, or Lith briefly carrying Fen in his arms for a simple joke. 

 What is their favorite feature of their partner’s? Lithaldoren ADORES his voice (his eyes as well) but the simple things of listening to voice messages when he was AWOL brought him to tears and yet tiny aspects of hope. 

 What’s the first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings for the other?Lith first hid for a week, he became scared... mortified in fact, he always found the other attractive but their friendship was priceless. This... this was weird. But he started to laugh. Rarely... just subtle in the others presence; not stifling the amusement when the other made a joke.

Nicknames? & if so, how did they originate? V:DA - Amatus, the true declaration he could never use, having the meaning be tainted. Coming to terms with love, it slipped. V: HP - My Dear. Not much, but he was young and ethnicity lead him to such. Also overhearing his 'parents' V: MODERN: My love or My heart. Self explanatory. It slipped when he was at a loss in his eyes. V: Destiny: My Light. Something to guide him and help him rebuild from the darkness. V: Prison(?) My Star. Get it... cause... starfish... mermaids and mermen.... aha... yup nope. V: SH.(HOW MANY DO WE HAVE?!): My Angel. Duh. 

 Who worries the most? I don't think we can answer that - I think they both worry equal amounts, only a separate times.

Who remembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant? Lithaldoren. He spent his life learning to remember tiny little things to succeed in life and to not die. To win a game which had no victory. It is and was only natural. 

 Who tops? Alnifenen. Come on now... BUT GRANTED - maybe switch once or twice. Who initiates kisses?Alnifenen! They'd have gotten nowhere if he didn't. 

 Who reaches for the other’s hand first? Oh sweet fuck. Again, depends I think! NORMALLY it's Alnifenen, but when he's anxious or worried, skittish one could say without realising - Lithaldoren. Maybe the greatest sign something's wrong.

Who kisses the hardest? .... Alnifenen. Lithaldoren will follow on pace shortly after. 

 Who wakes up first? Lithaldoren - just by habit. Alnifenen if PTSD haunts and lingers. Who wants to stay in bed just a little longer?Alnifenen, Lithaldoren detests sleep. 

 Who says I love you first? LMAO Alnifenen! 

Who leaves little notes in the other’s one lunch? (Bonus: what does it usually say?) I think Alnifenen would. Just sneak before he heads out to whatever (uni assuming it's modern) and places notes just to make the other blush or snort with horrendous pick up lined statements. 

 Who tells their family/friends about their relationship first?..... Lithaldoren has NOBODY to tell.... so i... well... Alnifenen could tell Diani? 

What do their family/friends think of their relationship?"..... it's about time. Fuckwads."

Who is more likely to start dancing with the other?Lithaldoren. He dances secretly but he wouldn't be ashamed to drag Fen along with him. 

 Who cooks more/who is better at cooking? I... don't know. I think they'd enjoy cooking together. Of course Lithaldoren cooks daily, especially since Alnifenen was AWOL for so long, meaning he is MORE than good... but i think they'd both be good cooks? Maybe? Idk. 

 Who comes up with cheesy pick up lines?ALNIFENEN. DRUNK ALNIFENEN. Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear during inappropriate times?..... Alnifenen. Always. Every time. 

 Who needs more assurance?OMFG LITHALDOREN - his mind wonders every day, he's horrified to be open again and he sometimes can't bare it... but returning home to see his family is.... lovingly aching. Joyful. Tear bringing. Will never admit he needs the assurance. But just.... 

 What would be their theme song? Debatable. But going by their wedding song?; Edith Piaf - La Vie En Rose. (not the original - By Dodie Clark)

Not going by the wedding song;Sundara Karma - Flame

 Who would sing to their child back to sleep? Lithaldoren did it constantly. But I think Alnifenen definitely would have if he were there. 

 What do they do when they’re away from each other?....... HA..... HA.

one headcanon about this OTP that breaks your heart.Lithaldoren finally accepts he is in love. They have a child. They can't picture a life without the other... And Alnifenen has to go. Knowing he'd be back soon, the man waits patiently understanding such will be the longest 10 months of his life, but he does not mind - because he's coming back! And he does. But he is barely back a week - they greet each other so lovingly and only in the warmth of their own bed does Lithaldoren feel his heart shatter again. He waited 10 months to feel his touch, smell his scent, hear his heart... all for it to be over in a heartbeat. He never admits his pain for it but it's apparent from the slight change of emotion he gains, something cold and broken. When alnifenen is announced AWOL... he snaps. He finds life difficult, more than usual - suicidal tendencies peek... but my god do they become intense in annual holidays and his birthday - their precious daughter smiling and waiting for daddy to come home! 

"WE CAN ONLY OPEN PRESENTS WHEN DADDY IS HOME! SEE! HE GOT ME THIS ONE!!" *noted Lithaldoren put both their names on every present so she didn't feel worried. 

"That is right, my little light... when daddy is home... I-..... open yours at 5pm ok? I... I will wait till daddy is home to open mine, deal?" 

 It always is in the end because of her childish temptation. He spends the holidays locked in the bathroom sobbing, feeling useless, left. 

"I will never leave you, mi amor" 

he always used to say. Who knows! He could have found love elsewhere. Anything is better than second hand goods - are they not?....Cracking - he always leaves them days with new scars. Dangerous scars. Noted, he only survives and smiles because he has a daughter to care for!.... she is not going to live the life he lived. 

 about this OTP that mends it They hate to admit it, but they are so domestic it could almost hurt. They do everything as a family, there life is officially built around it - from two strangers who gradually had to get close to one another... 

They live a life many could see in movies. Kissing one another goodbye for work, singing their daughter to sleep when young, having to untangle themselves when doing chores like hoovering the house. They are the couple which hosts Sunday family get togethers with everybody else. They are the people everybody comes up to for relationship advice (even if Lith won't answer.) 

they are the slow.. gentle.. domestic couple living the life both finally deserve. Yes, they may have their emotional ups and downs with personal outlooks of themselves - but they are perfect for each other. Nothing or nobody can prove that wrong.

[winryofresembool]

Things We Lost in the Fire, ch 18

aka Caleo uni au

Fic summary: Calypso starts studying at a new university, but to her annoyance her new flatmate is a loud mouthed mechanic who also likes to sneak his dog in whenever. But as she learns to know him better, she realizes they might have more in common than what she first thought. Eventually, even the darkest secrets come out…

Chapter summary: Leo's life is hard (but maybe there's some hope left).

A/N: Yay, time for a new chapter! I decided to make Friday my new posting day so that’s when the future updates will (hopefully) happen.

It's not time to resolve the previous drama quite yet but dw, that's coming! Meanwhile, I hope you'll enjoy this Leo centered chapter. It’s also time to bring Frank in!

Don't forget to let me know what you think! :)

Characters in this ch: Leo, Frank, Georgina, Jo, Emmie

Words: 1700+

Genre: romance & hurt/comfort

Warnings: none

previous chapter / next chapter / AO3

...

“Maldita sea!” Leo yelled at himself as his wrench flew at the wall, thankfully not causing damage to it. Nothing he tried to fix or build that day seemed to go right. He hadn’t been able to figure out a pretty basic seeming issue in someone’s phone, one of his own inventions had broken and even solving a physics problem that would usually have managed to distract him only felt frustrating.

There was a lot going on in Leo’s head. Well, he’d argue that he always had a lot going on there due to his ADHD, but this time his usual methods to calm himself down didn’t seem to work. He would probably have to quit studying the only field he was truly interested in. He couldn’t do his work. His flatmate for whom he may or may not have started slowly developing some very not flatmate appropriate feelings had apparently had a thing for his friend, which not only complicated Leo’s situation with Calypso but also with Percy. And his mother’s death anniversary was coming, which was always a hard time for him. Leo imagined she’d probably be so disappointed if she saw him now. ‘My son, a failure in every aspect of life’. No, Leo’s real mother had been way too nice to actually say something like that out loud, but he just knew she’d at least think that. And Jo, Emmie and Georgina were counting on him too.

After throwing the wrench, Leo decided to take a break because his hands had started shaking too much to continue working. Taking a deep breath, he leaned against his worktable, closed his eyes and started tapping a rhythm that he had memorized years ago. His mother had taught him Morse code when he was a kid, and this particular phrase was one she had used a lot when he had needed calming down. Written down, the code looked like this:

.. .-.. --- ...- . -.-- --- ..-

I l o v e y o u

He whispered it very quietly a couple of times before looking out from the window and saying aloud:

“Mom. I’m trying to be strong. I really am. But sometimes it just gets too fucking hard. Everything seemed to be fine. Really. My other family is great. I was studying something I actually cared about. My new flatmate… uh, she’s an interesting force of nature. But if she likes someone like Percy… I’d never have a chance. And all my career plans are about to run down to the sewers because I can’t use fire, in any way. Not because of what happened to you. Because of what I... I just feel lost.”

He took a deep breath and rubbed the corner of his eye dry quickly. Saying his thoughts aloud seemed to make him feel a little bit better, and he decided that maybe getting out of the flat and getting some exercise would help with the shakiness. To his relief Calypso wasn’t home either so he didn’t have to answer any awkward questions about why he looked like such a mess. Leo found himself jogging all the way to Waystation, which was several miles from his flat. As he reached the yard, he noticed Georgina with Festus, but even with her back to him he could sense something was wrong. Of course. There was always some way the day could get even worse.

“Hi, hermanita!” he started, trying to sound cheerful even though he didn’t think he was a very good actor. Georgie could probably see right through him. His suspicions were confirmed when Festus didn’t even run to greet him as he usually did. “What’s going on?”

“I tried to call you,” she said, hiding her worry badly. “Moms went to run some errands and something… something happened to him…”

“What do you mean? What exactly happened?” Leo insisted on knowing.

Georgina seemed to grow more and more upset each moment. “I… I gave him a bully stick… but I forgot to put it in a holder even though moms always say you should do that when you give him one because he always tries to swallow them so fast… And then he started feeling sick...”

To prove her point, Festus, who was laying on the ground, made a loud gagging sound. After that he tried to whine but even that didn’t sound like it usually did.

Leo’s ADHD kicked immediately in, in the form of him wanting to act fast.

“We’ll discuss this later, I need to borrow Jo’s car now that I can take him to the vet,” he exclaimed and ran inside the house to get the keys to the car from the spot Jo usually kept them. He picked them and Festus’ leash and ran back, telling Georgina to stay home to tell Jo and Emmie what happened when they’d return.

At least one thing went right that day: the emergency vet clinic was fairly quiet when Leo arrived there. Not long after that, the vet took Festus in. He had an intern with him; a young man who Leo suspected had his roots somewhere in East Asia. He had black, short hair, a bulky body and kind of child like face even though the intern was probably older than Leo. As the vet asked Leo some questions about what exactly had happened to Festus, the student wrote down some notes and occasionally added a short comment as well. When Leo was about to explain why exactly Festus had gotten issues with the bully stick, he heard the intern mutter something to himself.

“What was that?” Leo asked a bit more aggressively than he had planned, having already been stressed even before the issue with Festus had come up. He had to admit, though, that it had distracted him from the other issues.

“Nothing,” the intern quickly said, pretending to focus on his papers again.

Leo didn’t give up that easily. “I heard you, though. You were implying that I had somehow caused this.”

“Well, you did give him the bully stick, didn’t you?” the young man asked.

“I wasn’t even there when he got one!” Leo growled, starting to feel the frustrations from earlier that day flooding out of his system. “My… uh, little sister gave him one when our parents left to run some errands and he kept whining and wanted something to chew! It wasn’t her fault either, she’s a child and she didn’t know that could happen!”

“Mister Valdez, please calm down a bit,” the vet interrupted him, and Leo immediately shut up. “There’s no need to yell. Festus is going to be just fine; I’m going to give him some medicine and fluids to help with digesting the stick and we can watch how he’s doing overnight. And Frank, please don’t make assumptions like that about clients.”

“Yes, sir,” Frank said, to Leo’s surprise actually looking regretful. Then he turned to Leo. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to…”

“Nah, I kinda lost my cool there too…” Leo said, the frustration leaving when he saw Frank’s face.

“Kinda,” the intern said, attempting to joke about the situation.

“Yeah, sorry ‘bout that;” Leo rubbed the back of his neck.

After that the vet asked Leo a couple of more questions and did some more examinations on Festus while Frank helped him.

“Other than this stick issue, he seems like a healthy dog,” the vet complimented after the check up. “His fur and teeth look good. I think you’ve been taking good care of him.”

“Well, to be honest he lives more with my parents than me because they have a lot more space…” Leo said, “But yeah, we all try our best. Even Georgina, my sister.”

“I’m glad to hear that. It’s a good thing you got him here that fast so he’ll get the best possible treatment,” The vet said.

After that he wrote some notes on the computer and then dismissed Leo who scratched Festus from behind his ear and promised to come back soon to get him. As he was putting his jean jacket on in the lobby, the intern, Frank, approached him.

“About what happened earlier, I really am sorry. It isn’t like me to attack clients; you can even ask my boss about that. I just…”

“Chill, man,” Leo said. “I’ve heard this story before. People assume things about me because I look like a problem teenager. Truth to be told? You’re not entirely wrong. But things have changed. And trust me, Festus is my best friend and I’d do anything for him. I’m sure Georgie has learned her lesson too now.”

“Good to hear that,” Frank said and extended his arm to Leo. “Well, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow when you’re coming to get Festus.”

Leo nodded. “Yep, I have a feeling my whole family will want to join me. Anyway, I’m off now. Thanks for the help!”

“I’m glad we could help!” Frank told him before he started walking towards his car.

...

Jo and Emmie had already returned to Waystation when Leo got there.

“Is everything OK?” Emmie asked immediately. “We didn’t really get much out of Georgina… Just that something had happened to Festus and you took him to the vet.”

“Nah, it’s gonna be fine!” Leo reassured her. “He got some digestion issues because he gobbled a bully stick too fast but that’s being taken care of now. Georgie sure remembers to be more careful from now on, won’t ya, hermanita?” he addressed the young girl then.

“I will…” she promised, not even protesting about the nickname this time.

Once Leo had explained with more details what had happened at the vet and it became clear that Festus would be fine soon, the family moved to other matters. Unlike usually, Leo was happy with mostly listening to the others. The incident had reminded him that there were bigger matters than girl issues or his studies and he realized that those things didn’t feel quite as hard to overcome now as a few hours ago. Yes, he still needed to deal with them, and yes, his past would probably never stop entirely haunting him, but when he had people like this around him? It wouldn’t be impossible.