#CAN'T HOLD MYSELF RESPONSIBLE‚ SO I'LL BLAME THE METAPHYSICAL!!

[rotisseries]

just saw a mike edit to god must hate me by catie turner and the SECOND I heard the music I let out this godawful horribly distraught "OHH NO" which is the only appropriate reaction I think

[lostpimplepatch]

I wish I knew how to draw or make edits because I have this very specific edit of Damian Wayne to the song God Must Hate Me by Catie Turner

The lyrics go

Do you ever see someone and think "Wow, God must hate me" 'Cause He spent so much time on them and for me, He got lazy Got ample mental illness personality flaws While their only flaw seems to be is that they have none at all Do you ever see someone and think "Wow, God must hate me" I'll let 'em take accountability For everything that's wrong with me Can't hold myself responsible So I blame the metaphysical If Jesus died for all our sins He left one behind, the body I'm in Same hands that made the moon and the stars Got carpal tunnel and forgot some parts

And creative liberty with the lyrics here but I imagine it being about how being 'good' comes so easily to the others and yet he struggles so much. Especially in the point after bruce's 'death' he's questioning if he has any place in the family as robin when batman is no longer his father.

It's in my head and it plays on repeat when I'm listening to the song and I wish I could extract it from my head.

[kindredtarot]

❛❛What you need to balance right now?❜❜

› ♡˖°꒰ Pick a pile

✦; Pile : 1 ˎˊ˗❞

6 of swords, 10 of pentacles, 7 of stones, queen of arrows, 2 of cups.

“I'm just really fuckin' selfish and really fuckin' lost. But someone loved me, someone fucking loved me. Someone fucking loved me and I fuckin' loved them too. Goddamn it, I was worth something, I fuckin' learned something. I had my cake (I ate it, it ate me too and, God, no)” — Feel Better by Penelope Scott

You need to balance your timely actions and patience. It looks like you are transitioning to a new stage in your life because you want to advance and achieve what you want. Are you choosing to leave behind old relationships? Probably a hard decision emotionally, but something you felt you had to do to protect yourself. “Can’t heal in the same environment that wounds me”. You want stability, finally. Maybe you want it before but insisted to try having it with people that wouldn’t give it to you. But now you are making steps towards it, starting with the choice to move on. You want to have a stable foundation financially and/or with your family, a place that you can actually call home and mot having to worry about having to protect yourself and your feelings 24/7. And you can get it, you just need to have patience with your healing journey. 

You are going in the right direction. I know leaving people that you really cared about hurts and it might take some months or a year, but continue to take care of yourself, physically, emotionally, and mentally. It’s okay to let your mind remember and miss past moments sometimes, and to cry your heart out. Blocking those things would just make it harder in the long run, and you might already know that deep down. Resting and not doing nothing doesn’t mean your are giving up, take your time to get ready to continue towards what you want. Taking care of yourself will clear your mind and would help you communicate better and making better decisions towards your relationships with others and your possessions/money. I can see your relationships improving, with yourself and others, actual soul-touching connections. Maybe you always wanted a soul family, a group of friends that were like family or a healthy family life, whatever it was, I can see this area of your life improving and beautifully too. Just take priority and improve your relationship with yourself first and foremost, so you are ready with strong boundaries and understanding of what you truly want to start deep connections with others too.

✦; Pile : 2 ˎˊ˗❞

page of wands, 3 of pentacles, death, the tower, queen of pentacles, 3 of wands in reverse.

“Do you ever see someone and think "Wow, they got lucky", the craftsmanship of their bones, their brain, and their body. When I look into the mirror for too long it hurts, they don't track how many steps it takes to burn off dessert. Do you ever see someone and think "Wow, they got lucky". I'll let 'em take accountability. For everything that's wrong with me. Can't hold myself responsible. So I'll blame the metaphysical. If Jesus died for all our sins. He left one behind, the body I'm in. Same hands that made the moon and the stars. Got carpal tunnel and forgot some parts” — God must hate me by Catie Turner

You need to balance how you view others vs yourself. You might put people in a pedestal and put yourself down unconsciously. You seem to be someone with so many ideas and plans, wild imagination! (You might be an artist). Someone that sees the “impossible” and is sure it could become possible! A really exciting and active person, whether that’s physically or mentally. You might like working in group or just admire people. They seems really interesting, so many new perspective. And they are talented too, in their own way. Maybe your achievements don’t seem as valuable to you just because you are admiring other people that seem to just have everything else you want. You have a lot too, in your life you were resilient. You sometimes might think you are giving up too easily but you are resilient. You are still going, aren’t you? Still trying or planning to get better and get to your goals. Don’t forget to look back to your past to realize how far you’ve come, how much you had learned. Just because all the things you had achieve aren’t as visible to others like what you see outside of yourself, doesn’t mean they don’t exist or are less. 

Others seems so cool to you, and forget you are cool too. Do you have a lot of unfinished projects? So many ideas but maybe don’t fully follow through with them. And others seem to have their shit together already, finishing what they started. Instead of discouraging yourself, try observing the things you admire from those people and take what could help you keep going. Maybe you have problems with planning your projects or stay stuck on just planning instead of actually starting them. This unbalance in your views of others and yourself has to “die” to start building something better that would work for you. It won’t be easy to fix something that got stuck so deep in your subconscious but it is possible! It would make you feel really frustrated or confuse at the start, because a  lot of beliefs that you had would be breaking and making you rethinks them and what you are doing with your actions. And that’s okay! Because you would understand yourself better and see you for who you truly are. A really cool creative person. You would nourishing more your creative mind, projects, and collaborations with people. You would start to work as a team, truly this time, because you would finally see yourself just as valuable as those who you admire are. And you would also go through your projects, because you would commit to them now. I can see you caring so much more about your projects in a practical way, and growing success and financial stability because of it. You might have setbacks after committing with your projects because you don’t really know how to advance with them, but those setbacks are gonna be temporary, so have patience with yourself. Every mistakes teaches a lesson, remember them for any future obstacle. And remember to ask for help when you need it too!

✦; Pile : 3 ˎˊ˗❞

5 of swords, ace of wands, 4 of cups, ace of pentacles, 10 of swords.

“Spider-boy, king of thieves. Weave your little webs of opacity. My pennies made your crown. Trick me once, trick me twice. Don't you know that cash ain't the only price? It's coming back around. And I keep my side of the street clean. You wouldn't know what I mean. 'Cause karma is my boyfriend. Karma is a god. Karma is the breeze in my hair on the weekend. Karma's a relaxing thought. Aren't you envious that for you it's not? Sweet like honey, karma is a cat. Purring in my lap 'cause it loves me. Flexing like a goddamn acrobat. Me and karma vibe like that” — Karma by Taylor Swift

You need to balance your thoughts, desires, and actions. You have to stop acting with your ego. Stop playing with your luck… I feel like you could have so many things but you might be impulsive and make moves that you know you shouldn’t be doing because they aren’t planned or because it might be tripping someone else and not even getting you nothing valuable at the end of it. You might be a little stubborn about this, maybe prefer not to follow “rules” or are scare of doing so because you think it might not work for you? Instead of making risky decision that barely give you anything or sometimes nothing at all. Try taking your time planning and making decision that even if they succeed or not, they would still level you up. 

You have so much potential and a vision as well. But you can’t just go about it without planning nothing at all! Like trying to make a spark into a fire. You need to blow towards the spark correctly, if you don’t, you lose it and you don’t get the fire. And then your motivation is left on the cold. I understand the frustration, but don’t forget about what you have already. You can try to create a fire in the first place because you have the materials already. And you might receive a lot of opportunities that could help you but you don’t take them seriously because they aren’t up to your expectations or because you rush into them without thinking in what ways they could be helpful to you. Whatever it is, you are self sabotaging. You could help yourself up towards what you wants or you could destroy everything on your way. You actions are part of you, so think them through. You are constantly stabbing yourself with fear. Getting overwhelm and falling from exhaustion. Remember, the only thing that you can control is your actions and reactions. So don’t give power to fear and anxiety. Once you release that, you can hold your own power yourself and utilize it to make the right decisions. On choosing what you want, how you want it and how you are going to get it.

Don’t be scare of your potential and stop unleashing your decisions on others. karma might comeback later on to bite you in the back, but play your cards right and it could be your biggest helper! Just keep going and focus on doing better. 

[wandanatsbaby]

Do you ever see someone and think "Wow, they got lucky"

the craftsmanship of their bones, their brain, and their body

When I look into the mirror for too long it hurts

they don't track how many steps it takes to burn off dessert

Do you ever see someone and think "Wow, they got lucky"

I'll let 'em take accountability

For everything that's wrong with me

Can't hold myself responsible

So I'll blame the metaphysical

If Jesus died for all our sins

He left one behind, the body I'm in

Same hands that made the moon and the stars

Got carpal tunnel and forgot some parts

I don't know what I believe

But it's easier to think

He made a mistake with me

[ofmiceandpeace]

Songs that fit ASP and lyrics to prove it

There are seven songs so I'm gonna put a cut here. Also there's a little bit of story and discussion for one of them.

No Children by The Mountain Goats: And I hope when you think of me years down the line You can't find one good thing to say And I'd hope that if I found the strength to walk out You'd stay the hell out of my way I am drowning There is no sign of land You are coming down with me Hand in unlovable hand And I hope you die I hope we both die

God Must Hate Me by Catie Turner: Got ample mental illness, personality flaws While their only flaw seems to be is that they have none at all Do you ever see someone and think "Wow, God must hate me" I'll let 'em take accountability For everything that's wrong with me Can't hold myself responsible So I blame the metaphysical

Francis Forever by Mitski: On sunny days I go out walking I end up on a tree-lined street I look up at the gaps of sunlight I miss you more than anything [...] And autumn comes when you're not yet done With the summer passing by, but I don't think I could stand to be Where you don't see me [This is Finny's ghost to Gene :(] Final Duet (fan lyrics) by OR3O: When the nights get too lonely When the skies become gray It's okay, it's okay Just take everything day by day And you will see It's not as bad as it seems

Love Like You from Steven Universe: I always thought I might be bad Now I'm sure that it's true 'Cause I think you're so good And I'm nothing like you Look at you go I just adore you I wish that I knew What makes you think I'm so special

[Ok this is a stretch but] Satisfied by MARINA: High achiever, don't you see? Baby, nothing comes for free They say I'm a control freak Driven by a greed to succeed Nobody can stop me 'Cause it's my problem if I want to pack up and run away It's my business if I feel the need to smoke and drink and sway It's my problem, it's my problem if I feel the need to hide And it's my problem if I have no friends and feel I want to die

Seventeen (Reprise) from Heathers: Listen up folks War is over Brand new sheriff's come to town We are done with acting evil We will lay our weapons down We're all damaged, we're all frightened We're all freaks but that's alright We'll endure it, we'll survive it [Finny], are you free tonight? [...] I can't promise no more Heathers High school may not ever end Still, I miss you, I'd be honored If you'd let me be your friend

Ok so for the last one the context is it's definitely after the first fall... I think when Gene visits Finny after the second fall or Finny's surgery from said fall turns out ok and he's on crutches again.

The characters are Gene, Finny, Brinker and Leper trying to be like normal again (but I know this is dumb cause Lep is LITERALLY CLINICALLY INSANE A PYSCHO). I'd like the situation to be the first option because there's a line that says, "Let's go be seventeen [...] Act like we're all still kids, cause this could be our final chance!" and the irony is that it IS their final chance cause you all know what happens in surgery then 😒

But I don't know how to have them all partying if Finny's literally still in the bed, like he's not moving all that much 💀💀💀💀 Anyway I need to learn how to draw Brink and Lep if I do this

[tearapartmysoul]

"can't hold myself responsible, so I'll blame the metaphysical.

if jesus died for all our sins, he left one behind, the body I'm in.

the same hands that made the moon and the stars got carpal tunnel and forgot some parts."

god must hate me - catie turner

[ferfan14]

Do you ever see someone and think "Wow, God must hate me"

'Cause He spent so much time on them and for me, He got lazy

Got ample mental illness personality flaws

While their only flaw seems to be is that they have none at all

Do you ever see someone and think "Wow, God must hate me"

I'll let 'em take accountability

For everything that's wrong with me

Can't hold myself responsible

So I blame the metaphysical

If Jesus died for all our sins

He left one behind, the body I'm in

Same hands that made the moon and the stars

Got carpal tunnel and forgot some parts

I don't know what I believe

But it's easier to think

He made a mistake with me

Do you ever see someone and think "Wow, they got lucky"

the craftsmanship of their bones, their brain, and their body

When I look into the mirror for too long it hurts

they don't track how many steps it takes to burn off dessert

Do you ever see someone and think "Wow, they got lucky"

I'll let 'em take accountability

For everything that's wrong with me

Can't hold myself responsible

So I'll blame the metaphysical

If Jesus died for all our sins

He left one behind, the body I'm in

Same hands that made the moon and the stars

Got carpal tunnel and forgot some parts

I don't know what I believe

But it's easier to think

He made a mistake with me

Do you ever see someone and think "Wow, God must hate me"

'Cause He spent so much time on them and for me, He got lazy

[kaitlinj16]

"I'll let 'em take accountability,

For everything that's wrong with me,

Can't hold myself responsible,

So I'll blame the metaphysical,"

-catie turner 🖤🖤

[j-mily]

I'll let them take accountability

For everything that's wrong with me

Can't hold myself responsible

So I blame the metaphysical

If Jesus died for all our sins

He left one behind the body I'm in

Same hands that made the Moon and the stars

Got carpal tunnel and forgot some parts

I don't know what I believe

But it's easier to think

He made a mistake with me

[belladonna413]

I'll let 'em take accountability / For everything that's wrong with me / Can't hold myself responsible / So I blame the metaphysical / If Jesus died for all our sins / He left one behind, the body I'm in / Same hands that made the moon and the stars / Got carpal tunnel and forgot some parts

I'll be fine in a few... Just experiencing a lot of anger about my chronic health issues and pain and autism today...

[yourdeepestfathoms]

Okay, so I’ve kinda been slowly stalking your page and devouring all your content because I love it and I saw one about music the choir like and I had Ocean angst ideas.

1. God Must Hate Me by Catie Turner. (I’m projecting *slightly* here) Ocean as a complete overachiever to the point that anything she does that doesn’t go perfectly sends her on a complete downward spiral into self-loathing.

But this song, especially these lines:

“I'll let 'em take accountability,

For everything that's wrong with me.

Can't hold myself responsible,

So I blame the metaphysical.

If Jesus died for all our sins,

He left one behind,

the body I'm in.” Gives me Ocean feels.

I feel like she’s someone who is deeply insecure about herself and her place in the world, and she hides it by crowing about her own achievements and superiority in an effort to feel deserving of anything she has.

I’ve also imagined her hearing this song and it hitting home so she just ends up bawling everywhere.

2. The I Love You Song from The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee. If you haven’t heard this song, go do so. It’s so good and gives me so many Ocean vibes that it’s unreal and I’m probably going to end up rambling about specific lines here.

“We always knew you were a winner, We saw it when you smiled” The thing is about this is that this is what Olive (the girl singing the song in the show) is imagining. She’s imagining her parents telling her that they believed in her and knew she was going to do great things, and if that doesn’t give me Ocean vibes then I don’t know what does. (It’s made even worse by the fact that in the show, Olive’s parents are played by the moderator and counsellor of the spelling bee because her real parents never show up.)

Just the thought of her having to *imagine* having her parents support is heartbreaking. Could you imagine an event where all the kids graduate or get awards for something they’ve done, and Ocean is the only one there on her own, like even Mischa’s adoptive parents come and Ocean is just standing on her own as everyone else gets hugs and congratulations.

“And maybe it's true (maybe is true), I love you.” Even in a fantasy this girl still doesn’t know if her parents love her.

“I wrote you a letter,

How I found the spelling bee such fun,

Mama, Mama, Mama,

But you didn't react.” Those lines just remind me of her introduction where it shows her jumping around her parents trying to get them to notice her and them only offering her a bong. Ocean just trying so hard to get them to notice her and them only giving her attention on their own terms.

Like the last part of the song is

Her parents: “And I swear it's true (Baby, it's true), I love.”

Olive: "Chimerical", C-H-I-M-E-R-I-C-A-L. Highly unrealistic, wildly fanciful.”

Judge: “That is correct.”

Her parents: “I love you.”

Just the idea of Ocean seeing her parents loving her as ‘highly unrealistic and wildly fanciful’ breaks me.

Okay, thanks for listening to my rambling mess of a Ted Talk. I’ll be going now! :D

ANON YOU POPPED OFF, AND I’M SO HERE FOR IT

i listened to both these songs, and YEAH, THEY’RE SO OCEAN!!! thank you for bringing them to my attention! i am now going to make music videos in my head to them

also your whole little analysis about Ocean and her parents has me like !!!! it’s so sad, but it all fits SO WELL!!

[gayandrecovering]

Do you ever see someone and think "Wow, God must hate me"

'Cause he spent so much time on them and for me, he got lazy

Got ample mental illness personality flaws

While their only flaw seems to be is that they have none at all

Do you ever see someone and think "Wow, God must hate me"

I'll let them take accountability

For everything that's wrong with me

Can't hold myself responsible

So I blame the metaphysical

If Jesus died for all our sins

He left one behind the body I'm in

Same hands that made the moon and the stars

Got carpal tunnel and forgot some parts

I don't know what I believe

But it's easier to think

He made a mistake with me

[sailorbowie]

See bolded parts and maybe you could connect the dots?

God being Morpheus in this case

Do you ever see someone and think "Wow, God must hate me"

'Cause He spent so much time on them and for me, He got lazy

Got ample mental illness personality flaws

While their only flaw seems to be is that they have none at all

Do you ever see someone and think "Wow, God must hate me"

I'll let 'em take accountability

For everything that's wrong with me

Can't hold myself responsible

So I blame the metaphysical

If Jesus died for all our sins

He left one behind, the body I'm in

Same hands that made the moon and the stars

Got carpal tunnel and forgot some parts

I don't know what I believe

But it's easier to think

He made a mistake with me

Do you ever see someone and think "Wow, they got lucky"

the craftsmanship of their bones, their brain, and their body

When I look into the mirror for too long it hurts

they don't track how many steps it takes to burn off dessert

Do you ever see someone and think "Wow, they got lucky"

I'll let 'em take accountability

For everything that's wrong with me

Can't hold myself responsible

So I'll blame the metaphysical

If Jesus died for all our sins

He left one behind, the body I'm in

Same hands that made the moon and the stars

Got carpal tunnel and forgot some parts

I don't know what I believe

But it's easier to think

He made a mistake with me

Do you ever see someone and think "Wow, God must hate me"

'Cause He spent so much time on them and for me, He got lazy

Morpheus said that the Corinthian was one of his masterpieces 🤷‍♂️ but I think when he said he messed up in the process of making him, I think what he actually meant was that he forgot to put some humanity into him. The Corinthian had every fucking right to be pissed off at his creator. To be filled with malice and envy for the things he couldn’t have as a nightmare. And you know what, for the sake of the Dreaming, I’ll give Morpheus the credit of wanting to at least try again with the Corinthian.

[backwardscapsmh]

warning! this deals with themes of religious guilt (specifically of the catholic/christian variety), internalized homophobia, and self hatred so if that is triggering for you please do not read this. like/reblogs and constructive criticism are appreciated.

god must hate me by catie turner

Whiskey came to Samwell with a litany of memorized Our Father’s and half-hearted rattling offs of the rosary. He didn’t actually believe in the things he was saying, so why would it affect him? The stuffy pastor’s words raced through his head, not even stopping by his brain to be absorbed. He’s not religious, so the concept of God didn’t bother him, not in the slightest.

Except, sometimes, when it was late at night, he would think. He would remember Sunday School. Head flooded by memories of small squeaking chairs, the half-finished Jesus coloring pages, and the VeggieTales episodes. He remembers the lessons well, as much as he wishes he didn’t. They stick in his head, stuck like that adhesive residue you can never quite get off of book jackets. He doesn’t think he’ll ever forget.

I'll let them take accountability

For everything that's wrong with me

Early Sunday mornings spent learning how to fit the perfect mold this institution seemed to expect of him. He remembers being nine, hearing how many things will get you sent to hell. He doesn’t want to go to hell. It sounds scary, and from what he’s gleaned, it’s really hot down there. You can’t play hockey in a firey pit. It wasn’t until he grew up that he realized how much of that checklist of bad traits actually applied to him.

Can't hold myself responsible

So I blame the metaphysical

It’s hard to reconcile now: if God made everyone exactly how they should, why is the way that he is so wrong? He felt it back then especially. The shiny stain-glass saint judging him from their place of honor along the walls. He could feel the scorn of their stares, eyes blank as the painted pupils burned right to the center of his soul. How they knew all his secrets, he’ll never know.

If Jesus died for all our sins

He left one behind the body I'm in

Why does he feel like he’s always too much or too little for any situation? He’s too judgmental. He’s not always the most respectful. He probably cares too much about his looks, as much as he tells himself he doesn’t. And he’s…he’s that word that no one ever said, but implied anyways: gay.

Most days, he’s able to push it from his mind. He can ignore how he constantly feels like he’s being watched. How he can never truly relax within himself, always worried about saying the wrong thing, doing something bad. He always feels like he’s not enough, like he’s somehow letting someone important down because he can’t be perfect all the time.

Same hands that made the moon and the stars

Got carpal tunnel and forgot some parts

And on some really late nights, he wishes he were different. He wishes that he’d stop feeling that dark pit of worry and anxiety and fear about everything. Wishes he'd stop feeling like he’s missing a few crucial pieces. Instead of what he needed, God shackled him with these unnatural feelings, a one way ticket to ostracism.

I don't know what I believe

But it's easier to think

He made a mistake with me

And he knows God’s creation is perfect, but if that’s true, why is he the way that he is?

[cykelops]

I'll let 'em take accountability

For everything that's wrong with me

Can't hold myself responsible

So I blame the metaphysical

If Jesus died for all our sins

He left one behind, the body I'm in

[aub-a-de]

song vibes of the day

“I'll let Him take accountability

For everything that's wrong with me

Can't hold myself responsible

So I blame the metaphysical

If Jesus died for all our sins

He left one behind, the body I'm in

Same hands that made the moon and the stars

Got carpal tunnel and forgot some parts

I don't know what I believe

But it's easier to think

He made a mistake with me”