#C. KESTIS / 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘷𝘪𝘷𝘰𝘳.

[narrated]

nathanael makrov ; i talk when i'm nervous. i'm gonna shut up now.

the ship is simultaneously too quiet and too loud. he's accustomed to how the walls of the mantis hum when the engine is running, the difference when it's in regular orbit or hyperspace. it's lulled him to sleep most nights in the past three years, settled him down from a panic attack, grounded him when memories become alive. an inescapable tinnitus rattling in his ears, just a fraction louder than the hum of the force and its fractured discordant melody. and yet there's something missing: the voices of his family. cere, greez, merrin... all gone on their own missions. leaving him once again alone in a ship far too big for him and bd-1, leaving him once again feeling like the padawan stumbling through the corpses of republic ships.

❛   wait—   ❜ he says, turning the pilot seat around. @s4ints is already halfway out of the cockpit. they certainly hadn't gotten off to a good start, with cal ready to dump him at the nearest port after deciding he would tag along. they're still not close, but simply the presence of another living breathing being has made the ache inside him start to settle. cal sighs, running a hand over stubbled cheeks, before replying, ❛   you... you can stay. i don't mind, truly. it's nice hearing someone else talking.   ❜ he keeps the last bit unspoken (i haven't heard anyone's voice but my own for a while).