#But the short version is that I owe Zelda so fucking much and I love them So fucking much

[shiroselia]

I know that it's technically a day before but I genuinely might forget tomorrow, so I'm writing something about it now because I'm feeling very sentimental right at this very moment in particular

Which is to say that tomorrow (16th of September), it will be exactly a year since I started writing QuintSum, and really since I started actually writing properly period.

For those that haven't snapped it up yet, I've been very so-so about calling myself a writer for a long time because I've mostly stuck to storyboards and plot outlines and character creation and a lot of Background Stuff that I couldn't really show people because I didn't think that it counted. Even when I did start writing it took me a While to settle on the fact that I Have been a writer for 10+ years because it has taken me That fucking long to get this consistent and Good at it. But you know I haven't "properly" been writing before last year so you bet my brain was debating on if I was "allowed" to say I've been writing for 10+ years. (The answer is yes my skills are that of a decade+ that's just fact. You aren't at my level of consistency from just a single year.)

Nevertheless because I was also terrified of showing people my writing because when you grow up noticeably autistic and have a personality at all you're going to be made to feel like all your hobbies suck ass and if you even imply that you have interests you're going to get punished for it. And my stories and characters have always been incredibly personal, so naturally I just didn't show it to people because I know exactly what that does to somebody. (Read: You get told you're a fucking weirdo and then you get laughed at either in your face or behind your back. Fun stuff, truly.)

That isn't to say that I've ever been a person who writes very personal stories in the commonly assumed sense. I don't write a lot of problems or issues that are relateable to me, and I don't particularly care about channeling my own struggles through my writing. Completely valid coping mechanism and an excellent way to do it for the people who like it, I instead prefer to have a podcast talk with myself. Point being, that the personal part of my stories have Always been the kind of tropes I utilise.

If anybody has even glanced at my Ao3, you can tell that I have a bit of a Type. Always has been the case, always will be the case. I know that I like, always have been. But just because what I write isn't necessarily Personal, doesn't mean that it still doesn't reflect Absolutely everything about it. It, at its core, is literally everything that I love and adore and find fun and enjoyable. And I've always considered that to be equally as important to somebody as their struggles because once you get to know people, they really are.

So I just didn't show people my stuff, and didn't really write, and if I did it was half-baked drafts at best because I just. Didn't get it to work.

There is a WAY longer conversation of mine to be had with my personal view of writing style, and my friends have all gotten it multiple times in varying lengths, because I have a lot of opinions there (Shocker, I know). But there genuinely is nothing that has helped my stylistic writing more than, as funny as it is, becoming an English major. I've gotten introduced to so much Interesting and unconventional writing this way, and more than anything, I've been reminded that there's Multiple ways to do it.

When you hang around on The Tumblrs it's very fucking easy to foret that there's more writing styles than heavy-description standard past tense third person. Which is hilarious now that I genuinely do write in primarily past tense third person, but there's a reason why I didn't start out there. Because I fucking hate conventional third person. I write literally, I fucking hate dialogue tags, I don't give a shit about most things that a lot of "popular" writing emphasizes. And it took until last year to remember that that's literally not a problem because I had to sit through multiple lectures on stream of conciousness and why Shakespeare's literal writing was really fucking good so remember that I'm Allowed to write that way.

And then I started talking to @jorvikzelda and three days later the stupidest shit I've ever pulled off started.

I've said this to them so many fucking times, but Zelda is the most direct reason why you even see me writing at all nowadays. It's been a Really long process of getting over multiple layers of Stuff and Things, but none of it would ever have helped had Zelda not asked me to betaread Jorvikpov. The fact that Zelda allowed me to, with all due respect, rip their writing apart from the ground up, was definitely pretty important for me to feel comfortable with sending them, what I generally regarded, as something kind of trash (and while I nowadays call what I started out writing Not Good, all things considered, it's nothing but a receipt that I've improved and gotten more comfortable in my own style).

And all of a fucking sudden, I finished writing almost 300k words in 10 months and it would've been less had Real Life not gotten in the fucking way. Which is kind of where I'm at right now because guess what, it takes time to edit an already disgustingly long fic, especially when you're also studying full time. But whoptido it do be like that.

The point is, that it's fucking Insane to me that I'm sitting here a year later, hell, At All, and not only having accomplished what 8 year old Manda could only daydreamed about (yes, I've wanted to write an SSO rewrite story That fucking long), but also doing something I told myself I just Did Not Like. Which is to say that it's hilarious that I decided however long ago it was that I didn't like writing fanfiction, and also that I didn't like writing period, so I just stuck to storyboarding. And now look where I am.

Turns out that sometimes you just need some good friends to bonk your insecurities out of you, and all of a sudden you have a writing speed of 1100 words per 30 minutes.

Fuck around find out do shit the weidest unconventional way you can think of and sooner or later you're going to consider yourself the best writer you know. (And I am friends with some fucking geniuses let me tell you.)

[segadores-y-soldados]

I have a question... Is there any name we can use for you? My friend, who I pushed into the r76 depths with your fics, call you clickbang, while I call you segadores 😅😅 's not really a problem since we both know you, but our third who isn't big into ovw keeps getting confused haha

lol, I wonder if this is related to the OW game I just played?

Short version:

Real name: Mel - this might help you guys get a consistent name?Main username: clicky_pen (or most variations on that) - this is why my AO3 account is named clickclickBANG.  Most of my non-OW-specific accounts are “clickypen” related (p.s. if you play PC OW and see a “clickypen” running around, usually as Soldier or Reaper, but sometimes as Lucio or Orisa, that’s me) (p.p.s. you won’t find a “clicky_pen” on tumblr - “clicky_pen” is my reddit username)Sideblog: Segadores-y-SoldadosTwitter: https://twitter.com/SegadorYSoldado (that probably doesn’t help, huh)

So I guess I’d say I expect “clicky” in some variation - I’ve been using the username for like…4 or 5 years.  Otherwise, calling me Mel or Sega/Segadores is totally cool too!

Long version:

I legit never expected this sideblog to get this much attention.  Don’t get me wrong - I love it!  Like 95% of my interactions with this fandom have been fun and amazing, but I 100% made this sideblog to contain my raging OW enthusiasm when my friend got me into the fandom with fanfics back in like…August-September 2016.  I fucking remember that week too.  She sent me like, twenty fics and then LEFT for like TWO WEEKS to some place without data and I had to FEEL all these emotions all by myself. >:( if you read this, FRIEND, that week was wonderfully miserable and also THANK YOU for getting me into this mess.  You’re the best and I love you for making this my life.

So I made this sideblog to contain my sputtering, gushing OW problems and keep my main blog relatively-free.  My main blog is like…a barely-contained chaos of Fire Emblem, Legend of Zelda, Achievement Hunter, the works.  Also lots of archaeology stuff.

Hopes this helps, y’all! (Also omg, I cannot believe you got your friend into R76 fics because of me, that’s insane, holy shit)