#But see it's fine because the person saying the same horrible shit that you'd hear from a reactionary psy-op is trans!

[wh6res]

UP IN SMOKES — DOYOUNG

psych student! kdy | tw. college au, violence, a knife, GASLIGHTING, hallucination, psychosis, swearing, just pure manipulation, minor charac death, there's a court scene, this is a repost! | wc. 10k she a beast

life could’ve been simple;

you shouldn't have met kim doyoung.

what does a freshman in college hate the most other than the high-stress levels of moving into a new dorm? a shitty roomie and a smelly, moldy mattress. the girl you call roommate refuses to help move the mattress because it will ruin her new manicure. what a fucking classic. 

"sounds like a 'you' problem. figure it out yourself, plain jane." 

she said before heading out, annoyingly popping her bubblegum as she kicks a few of your scattered boxes by the front door. you roll your eyes; classes haven't even started yet, so why is she already making your life miserable? as much as you'd like to snap at her, you don't, merely glaring daggers at her back as she finally turns the corner of the hallway and disappears. 

"bitch," you mutter under your breath. 

you eye the abomination that is supposed to be your bed, cursing how you shouldn't have made a 15-minute pit stop to starbucks for a drink when you could've just bought one from the instant coffee vending machines in every corner of the hallway of this dorm building because if you didn't, maybe you could've beaten regina george wannabe from taking the better bed. sighing, you suck it up and start getting to work. life's full of shit, anyway; no point sulking.

moving a moldy mattress is easier than you thought, to say the least. you can't ask for help from the other freshmen you bumped into in the hallway because they, too, are under a huge amount of stress from the move and are busy getting their affairs in order. it was a good thing, though, that a committee was formed specifically for this day to help out the freshmen if they were to stumble upon problems or mishaps with moving in. they were all around the campus, and they prove to be way friendlier than your batch mates. since this morning, three people have already offered help in carrying your luggage — which you have politely declined.

"hey, uhm… is this the stall for the welcoming committee? oh, wait. i'm sorry, there's a sign right there —"ugh.

you mentally shut your eyes in humiliation. why do you have to be this bad, this awkward at communicating with strangers? why couldn't you be born like all those socialites who already (probably) got their contacts filled with new numbers on the first day of school or something?

"yeah, this is them — welcoming committee, i mean. how can i help you?" he smiles, sweet, radiating the epitome boy next door aura as he looks up at you from where he's sitting behind the stall. your eyes quickly land onto the name tag stuck on his varsity jacket before meeting his eyes again. 

"i have an issue with my mattress. it has mold, you see..." your voice slowly trails, becoming quieter as you feel small under the weight of his piercing stare. oh, come on. he's just a guy with a beautiful face, woman the fuck up.

"really? let me see..."

he needn't finish rounding the stall when his nose is hit by the pungent smell brought forth by your mattress. frankly, you weren't that picky. you could've covered it with bedsheets and call it a day, but the odor is too strong to ignore. you mentally hope the smell didn't latch onto your clothes, especially not when someone so cute is around — what a bad first impression.

"oh, god!" he exclaims the moment he lays eyes on it, taking a step back. “now, that has to go. and you lugged it from the fourth floor?" 

ah, yes. according to tradition in these dormitories, which you've only found out today, freshmen get the curse of climbing four flights of stairs up while the seniors strut into their rooms on the ground floor like the hallway is a goddamned runway. 

"doyoung! help me carry these!"

someone calls his name as you both turn your head to spot a chestnut-haired girl clad in the same varsity jacket he's wearing. you grimace at the sight of her. for someone so small, she just had to volunteer to carry all those heavy bags. however, he doesn't move in front of you and brushes her off as if she doesn't look like she's carrying rocks over her shoulders. "i'm already helping someone else! go find taeyong or something. i'm sure that shit's loitering around here somewhere!"

"oh, it's okay, you can go help her. i'll just look for someone else —"

"nah, it's fine!" you try hard to school your face into indifference when you notice his gummy smile. "plus… trust me when i say no other person from the committee will help you with this. this shit smells like my roommate's sweaty basketball socks!"

you can't help the smile forming on your face as you help him carry the mattress off to the side of the hallway, the stinky thing leaning vertically against the wall and behind a huge terracotta plant pot. "don't worry, let's report it to student affairs so they'll get you a new one. congrats! you'll have to share beds with your new roommate tonight, freshie. it'd be a great ice breaker."

the universe truly hates you.

your expression must've been a dead give away because he's suddenly patting your shoulder, regarding you with utmost sympathy. "been there, done that. i hated taeyong, too, when i met him last year. still, for some mind fuck of a miracle, we've grown to be friends and developed a talent of not wanting to kill each other every two seconds."

"highly doubt i'd be friends with a regina george-level bitch, but thanks, anyway," you mutter under your breath. suddenly, you whip your head towards him after internalizing what he just said. "you met your roommate last year? you're a sophomore?"

he scoffs, leaning down to your height to lowly mutter against your ear as he eyes the lobby's front desk. "why? do i look like some 4th year who radiates 'don't touch me' energy?" 

you feel the heat on your cheeks with how close he is, only releasing an exhale when he finally gets out of your personal space. "i'm kim doyoung. you've heard it from wendy earlier, but anyway — i'm a 2nd-year psych major."

"no way!" you exclaim, a little too excited. "i'm taking psych, too!"

"oh, you are? well, if you need anything or if you don't understand stuff…" he winks. "feel free to approach me anytime."

hmm… how sweet of him. 

it was only hours later that you found out who kim doyoung is in your department during the acquaintance party. and for god's sake, you found out from your best friend who is a major in english lit and has never even seen the guy. "seriously, you didn't know he's a genius? i hear the professors call him a prodigy, girl! a fucking prodigy. if i were you, i'd ask for his help in every subject."

"you know i prefer keeping to myself. how'd i know stuff like that when i have no one to talk to in the psych dorms?" you look down, making the ice cubes in your drink clink against each other. "i didn't think he was this big shot or whatever. he looks normal, and everyone treats him normally."

"well, what do you expect?" she hisses, hitting your arm. "the other students don't want to make him feel alienated or something just because he's tons smarter than them. but anyway… the real question is…"

you roll your eyes when she pauses for effect, tentatively leaning closer to whisper under her breath. 

"is he cute?"

you didn't want to answer her question, but he's been stuck in your head since he offered walking with you to the student affairs office. doyoung had smiled his cute gummy smile and had even ruffled your hair before leaving you for committee duties — saying he's cute would be an understatement. 

"you have no idea."

for his first act;

he gains your trust.

fast forward to one year, many things have changed, but the only constant remaining is the handsome sophomore — who is now a 3rd-year, by the way — whom you've met on your first day. coursework has been pretty tough this year. instead of the content written in your textbook, your mind is plagued by the horrible twist of fate your best friend had encountered; she didn't have enemies. or so you thought.

she disappeared in the middle of christmas break last year. her beaten up body was found only a month later, in january, floating around the university's lake. happy fucking new year. 

the first time she chose to spend the holidays with you instead of her family back in her hometown, and that happens? some rotten luck you both have. it's why you didn't put it past her family to hate your guts with strong convictions. it's okay. the feeling's mutual. after all, it had been your best friends' own family, the same ones who had been so willing to take you in when you got kicked out, that were so eager to pin you as the murderer of their child. all under the argument that you have been the last person seen with her. 

oh, the things her mom said about you when she had stormed into the police station, red in the face, tears streaming down her cheeks..."i warned my baby not to hang out with that — that bitch. came straight out of a cursed family, that one. abusive dad, a nutjob mom. that bitch is a danger! probably got her dad's nasty temper and beat my baby to death! i want her on the electric chair!"

in those times, you once again realize this world is fucked up and cruel in every bit of its glory as you fought tooth and nail to defend yourself. but even then, they never believed you — the law will only favor the rich . the prosecution had been so sure it was you until a certain witness appeared and presented himself before the jury.

"do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?" 

doyoung raises his right hand, fixing his stare straight at the judge. "i solemnly and sincerely declare that the evidence i shall give will be the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth."

"how long have you known the defendant?" the prosecutor asks, arms crossed in front of her chest as she paces in front of the witness stand.

the boy briefly meets your gaze, and it's enough to make his heart sink. doyoung can't bear seeing you in those grey overalls when he knows it himself. you're being accused of a crime you didn't commit. "i've known her for one year."

"how'd you meet?"

and the questions went on and on; your defense attorney isn't all too keen on winning the case and had never once yelled "objection!" in her seat, but what could you expect? all the evidence kept stacking against you, and some of those you knew were even fabricated. you've never felt this hopeless in your whole twenty years of living. 

"what's the point in this, anyway?" doyoung snapped in the witness stand, fiercely glaring at the prosecutor. "how is my history — or lack thereof — with the defendant any relevant to the case? you're not even asking me about evidence nor what my statement is!"

"easy there," the prosecutor retaliates, jaw locked. "i have to first measure what exactly your relationship is with the defendant for us to think twice about your statement. who knows..." the prosecutor makes a grand gesture of turning her head in your direction, affixing you with a condescending stare. "she might've just hired you to say these things."

your attorney doesn't come to your aid.

"perjury isn't my thing." 

the prosecutor seems to have taken offense by the tone of doyoung's voice, but he doesn't let her speak further. "the victim isn't all sunshine and rainbows, you know. she'd been a part of a sorority and one with quite a nasty reputation in the college, too. i have to say she made very poor decisions, ones i'm sure her family didn't even know about. you see, they take their oaths and pledges very seriously. the victim wanted out. they didn't like that."

"and you have evidence to support this claim?"

without a moment to waste, he digs around the front pocket of his jeans before proudly presenting a black usb between his slender fingers. "knock yourself out."

the professor calls your name, snapping you out of your reverie. this isn't the first time your mind had transported you back to that particular day in the courtroom, where doyoung had swooped in and saved you from a lifetime in prison. the whole ordeal had been so scary, so frightening that you remember everything vividly as if it had only happened yesterday.

the classroom is empty. even your social psych professor has long packed up his stuff and is already standing by the classroom door. damn. were you that out of it?

"i'm so sorry." you mutter under your breath monotonously as you walk past him and out the door without another word. this is bad, very bad. no one would help, much less lend their notes to someone charged with murder — especially of their very own best friend. whether you were innocent or not doesn't matter to the student body. you've been ostracized, gossips of your problematic family spreading like wildfire, and the ridiculous part is only a fourth of the gossips are true.

the damage is done. 

at this point, you realize with a heavy heart that you have to face doyoung again sooner or later. you haven't talked to him at all since the start of the new school year, ignoring his lighthearted greetings in the hallways, rejecting his calls, ghosting his texts. you are afraid people would judge him harshly for hanging around you. frankly, you were embarrassed to ask any more favors from him with how much he's done for you already and the fact that he had seen you in such a state of vulnerability.

but you also didn't want to fail your subjects and lose the one thing holding your life together — your scholarship.

that is why you found yourself standing before him, in his favorite spot in the library tucked behind shelves upon shelves of books, next to the windows overlooking the empty football field. he's wearing black-rimmed glasses and is clad in the usual navy blue sweater as his head turns to and fro between a textbook and his notebook. the air had been so silent, you hear the aggressive scratches his pencil makes against the paper.

you feel a little hurt when he makes no move to acknowledge your presence, but you think back to what you have been doing and figured he has a right to act this way. 

"hey, doyoung." your voice is meek, hesitant.

"if you're not here to explain nor give me an acceptable reason why you've been ignoring me for the last few months, then please get out of my sight. i'm busy, as you can tell." he is brutally honest, knocking down the remaining hope you have left of ever reconciling with him.

something within you snaps, the steady streams of tears running down your cheeks as you pinned your stare on doyoung's open pencil case lying on the table. you have nobody left. your family — father, specifically speaking — has disowned you for taking a course your heart wanted, and the one friend you have lies motionless in a white coffin buried six feet under the ground. you didn't want to lose doyoung, too, no matter what role he plays in your life.

"i'm sorry," your voice cracks. "life's been… fucking shitty, and i'm sure you of all people know what i've been through. i've thanked you before for — for what you did, and i'm thanking you again right now but — i'm sorry, i'm really —"

your voice cracks when you feel him pulling you into an embrace. you feel the tension in your body breaking loose as you crumble in his arms. all those months grieving and wallowing in self-pity took such a heavy toll that you can't help but tightly clutch the sides of his hoodie, scared he'll slip through your fingers.

one of his hands comes up to push your face against the crook of his neck, muffling your cries in the silent library. doyoung felt like a jerk for snapping at you the way he did. how inconsiderate can he be? however, he felt elated because you sought him out yourself and wanted his help of all people.

his eyebrow raises in amusement. 

well, not that you have a choice, anyway.

it took you a few good minutes to calm down, cringing when you see the wet patch on doyoung's sweater because of your tears. 

"why don't you tell me everything, hmm? i'll help you as much as i can."

you sheepishly look down, fiddling with your fingers as you sit across him, the open textbook and notebook before him long forgotten. "well, i've been so out of it lately? my mind's just a whole bloody mess and i can't focus on any of my subjects at all and if i can't, then i'll lose the scholarship and it's the only thing i have in my life right now —"

"hey," doyoung cuts you off, placing a warm hand against your forearm to calm you down. "you won't lose that scholarship. trust me, okay? why don't we arrange tutoring sessions and i'll even lend you some of my notes from last year. what do you think?"

"okay... thank you, doyoung."

"for the record, you have me in your life, too. i'll always be here for you."

in the first session, you woke up from your deep slumber with only 15 minutes to spare from the scheduled time, but thankfully, your tutor only lives one floor down with the rest of the 3rd-years. bringing nothing with you but a pen and a pad of paper, your textbooks were destroyed as some students from your batch thought it'd be fun to throw them into the lake to "honor" your friend. 

you offer a small smile when taeyong opens the door, sporting an oversized shirt and track pants, eyes wide in shock when he sees you. "hi? can i help you?"

"hello! i'm here for doyoung. he's tutoring —"

"he doesn't live here anymore. his mom bought him a place outside the campus."

what?

"i'm sorry for disturbing you, then. do you by any chance know where he lives?"

that's weird. doyoung never mentioned he's already moved out. you feel a wee bit irritated that he forgot to tell you; it would've saved you the embarrassment of interacting with the varsity player. you weren't stupid, you can see the hints of repulsion in taeyong's eyes the moment he opened that door and saw you standing before him, no doubt thinking about: oh, look, it's the crazy murderer with a fucked up family standing in front of me.

he had shut the door in your face. you stood awkwardly for a good minute in the hallway until the door reopens, taeyong handing you a small piece of paper with doyoung's new address scribbled hurriedly in black ink. he doesn't give you a chance to thank him for he's already closed the door again without another word. 

you opted walking to his place instead of catching a ride because the money you have on you is enough to buy yourself dinner. to say the least, the apartment building is mediocre, not too grand, nor is it too rundown. double-checking the floor level written on the paper before pushing the elevator's button, you then realize doyoung lives on the very top floor of the building.

the hallways are painted a boring brown. some acrylic number signs plastered on the doors are broken, hanging vertically with one screw left. it says on the paper he resides in room 720. taking the right hallway, you mentally count as you eye the mahogany doors. 718… 719… there it is!

when you raise a fist to start knocking on his door, there is a tinge of hesitation surging through you. perhaps being alone with a boy in his apartment is not the best setting for a girl like you should end up in, but this is doyoung we're talking about. if he had ill intentions for you, it would've manifested a long time ago. you shake your head, feeling bad for thinking of him that way as you slowly knock on his front door. not long after, it swings open, revealing the 3rd-year in a white shirt and boxers as he lazily dries his hair off with a small towel. 

"you're late," is the first thing he says to you before spinning on his heel to disappear further into his humble abode. 

"you didn't exactly inform me you've moved out of the dorms. so, whose fault is it?" you retaliate, inviting yourself in and closing the front door shut.

"whatever. let's get started!" he plops himself on the floor, coffee table filled with loose papers as he struggles to find a specific one amongst the mess. "i've already scanned, exported to pdf, and emailed you my notes. it should be in your inbox by now. anyway, answer this quiz i made so i know what i'll be working on."

"you didn't really have to send your notes, doyoung. i could've just read everything from the textbook," you sit down across from him because otherwise, you'll be too distracted to remember information. 

a thought crosses his mind. with what textbook?

"i just think it's missing some essence. that's why i love reading over other psych books in the library for fun. be grateful, those notes are like my babies and i don't simply give them to anyone," he looks at you pointedly. "they've all been summarized and explained in layman's terms so you wouldn't have to spend grueling hours of reading and trying to make sense of the big words as i did — i know that's not the definition of 'fun' normally, but it is for me, and that's why i do it."

"okay, doyoung. you sound so defensive when there's nothing to be defensive about," you tease, feeling pleased with the hint of red on his cheeks as he averts his gaze from yours, muttering incoherent words under his breath.

you spent the following tuesdays, thursdays, and sundays like that; hours upon hours with no one but your tutor, laptops with tangled chargers, a printed copy of his babies, and a mountain pile of loose papers filled with the specialized quizzes doyoung makes to measure your progress. the location varies from a cafe or his flat. but in what you've gathered from the time you spent with him, doyoung's a homebody. cafe tutor sessions are rare, and he always complained about how "noisy" the atmosphere was — "i can't stand it."

but the conversation hadn't always been about academics. 

sure, for the first few sessions, doyoung kept an image of professionalism and had heavily insisted on it — "it's for your learning experience!" — despite your lighthearted teasing. but as time passed and he eventually grew more comfortable in your presence, you find the strict 15-minute break he had initially imposed between 45 minutes of studying turned into hours of talking about whatever; how he likes his eggs in the morning, your favorite coffee brew, his favorite show, your strongest pet peeve. 

and you wholly welcomed the change, not minding that it's practically dark out whenever you go back to your miserable dorm. you feel butterflies in your stomach whenever doyoung offers to walk you home but never had you taken his offer, still cautious of other people seeing you both together despite his constant reassurances. you've already thoroughly ruined your image. you didn't want to ruin his, too. 

kdy the cute tutor, 2:14 pm —last day of midterms! & its all majors today  —good luck —remember what i taught u —lets get ice cream after u cant say no

you shake your head bemusedly. his texting style is the most doyoung thing he does and it's as if you can hear him say these things to you in real life. too caught up in your own world, you fail to detect another student sitting next to you and had nearly fallen off your chair in shock when they spoke.

"why are your notes like that?"

you fight the urge to glare at the person, especially when you turn your head and see lee jeno looking at you in genuine curiosity. he's the only batchmate that treats you a wee bit nicer among the rest. although he isn't technically your friend, at least he doesn't look at you like you're a piece of bubblegum stuck under his shoe like all the others.

"what do you mean?"

"they're… the definitions are all jumbled up. where did you even get that?" 

what? jumbled up? doyoung himself said these notes are a combination of most of the psychology books he had read last year concerning his subjects. how would it be jumbled up? then again, lee jeno was not tutored by the prodigy himself. maybe things are bound to seem "jumbled up" when information is too great to understand for a feeble mind. 

just as you were about to claim these notes aren't yours, the professor has already waltzed into the classroom with a thick wad of papers — the exams. after one last concerned glance directed your way, jeno averts his gaze with a confused tilt of the head. 

hours later, you walk out of the classroom with the biggest smile on your face. aced it, you thought. your hands feel numb with how much you wrote on the essay portion but it's worth it if it meant you get the full 25 points, which you no doubt will as it was a topic you surely tackled with doyoung. speaking of... he sure is a man of his word.

"what are you doing here?" you hiss, head ducked with hair framing your face as to not draw attention from the rest of the students filing out of the testing hall.

"i texted you that we're getting ice cream. remember?"

"i did. but i didn't remember agreeing."

he shoots you a comforting smile, planting his hands firmly on your shoulder. “i told you, y/n. i don't care if they all see us together, so what? we all know you didn't commit that crime and it wasn't your fault you were born into the family you had. i don't care about the trivial things, baby, so don't shy away from me, okay?"

how the fuck can you say 'no' when he's looking at you the way he is as he brushed a loose strand of hair behind your ear? doyoung's just so bewitching that he has you wrapped around his slender fingers. he seems pleased when you stumbled over your words as you come up with a reply, caught off guard by his bold gestures.

"i just — you, uhh — fine..." you gave in, rolling your eyes out of pretense.

he just had to call you 'baby' and erupt the butterflies in your stomach.

it had been doing that for the last few months now and it had only truly manifested today when he took you out for ice cream to celebrate the end of hell week. and since you didn't want to go back to your dorm yet, you asked if you guys can watch some movies in his house but it had simply become background noise to your heart-to-heart talks. and what better accompaniment than the classic, chicken and beer?

you listen to him drone on and on about the little realizations he had on some of his past lectures even when you barely understood anything he's saying. doyoung's so lucky to be extremely good at something he's so passionate about, talks about the human mind and the complexity of a person's behavior will never fail to make his eyes light up in interest.

he calls out your name.

your eyes snap open.

"why don't we get you home? it's past 10 and it's alright, stupid, you don't need to pretend to be interested in my psychological findings." he chuckled light-heartedly, stealing the can of the now room-temperature beer from your hands before you can protest. 

"i wasn't dozing off, i swear."

"i caught you in the act. stop lying."

like all the other times he has you as his guest, doyoung once again offers to walk you home and you decline for the thousandth time. it really isn't that much of a long walk anyway. you don't see the need for him to go out of his way to secure your safety. plus, you were the one who insisted on hanging out in his house anyway. you weren't that thick-skinned to let him take you home, too.

"you're drunk!" he scolds.

“no, i’m not. i can perfectly handle myself."

"but —"

"bye!" 

you feel a little guilty for shutting the door in his face. still, a minute longer of his persistence and you would've taken his offer. unfortunately for doyoung, you are one stubborn girl. only if you don't make brisk movements with your head, then you won't see doubles. you'll be fine, it's just a quick walk and it's not as if you're stupid enough to pass by deserted alleys. 

but you had underestimated the divine prowess of your fucked up fate.

everything happened in a matter of three seconds; one, the blinding headlights illuminate your path from behind; two, you hear the loud honk, and as you turn around — three, the vehicle sends you rolling against the asphalt.

you should have taken the alleyways.

for his second act;

he alters your reality.

when you open your eyes, you thought you were dead and your spirit is wandering elsewhere — because you don't believe in trivial things like heaven and god — until an agitated doyoung comes into view. for a split second, you thought, is he dead, too?

"i'm not dead, you idiot." too dazed, you hardly register his anger. "i can perfectly handle myself, she said. i'm not drunk, she said. this wouldn't have happened if you had simply let me walk you home! you're damn fucking lucky you're alive and breathing right now!"

a person clears their throat.

"i don't think it wise to… nag at the patient the moment she wakes. don't you agree, sir?"

pink splotches on doyoung's cheek as he looks down, embarrassed at getting scolded as he stands closer to your bed. "i'm sorry, doc."

you didn't know when your vision cleared or when you started hearing normally again, but it was enough to find out what exactly had transpired on the very night of your tragic accident. a hit and run. fifty-fifty chance of surviving. doyoung getting a call from the hospital in the middle of the night —"they were trying to contact your dad, but he wasn't answering. i was the last person in your call history." 

six months in a coma. but today, you wake… only to find out your world has crashed and burned.

"what do you mean i lost my scholarship?"

"baby, listen to me —"

"why did they take it away? is it because of my accident? i'm behind by one term only and i swear i can catch up. they need to let me back in the program. there must've been some mistake —"

"your gpa didn't reach the cut-off grade."

that can't be possible.

"but you tutored me!" you claim with conviction, pointing an accusatory finger at him until you groan, bowing in pain as you clutch your head.

doyoung springs into action. the chair's legs screech against the tiles as he jumps to your aid, ushering you gently back against the hospital bed despite your refusal. "you're not well. lay back down, please."

you don't hear a single word he says, not when you had lost something so crucial. "i put in the effort and learned everything you taught me... i aced those fucking mid-terms! i know i did!" you were on the brink of tearing up as doyoung settled himself in front of you.

"i… i actually saw your papers," his lips set in a thin, hard-line. "everything was all wrong, sweetheart. what happened to you? i tried reasoning with the professors, mentioned your state — you know, with your best friend dying — but they didn't relent. i'm sorry y/n. i'm so —"

gone. everything is gone. the money. the dorm. what if they ask you to pay the fees from last year? what if they ask you to pay the tuition fee for this year? you have no money, no family, no relatives. no one to help. who's even going to pay for the hospital fees?

you weren't able to process anything after that. not with the sudden news of your now revoked scholarship. doyoung pulls you in a tight hug. "i was a bad tutor," he says, snapping you out of it. "maybe i shouldn't have pushed you that hard to learn them. why were your answers even mixed up y/n? i thought you knew those topics already…"

he pulls away, observing your confused state as your eyes dart everywhere in the room. "what — how are they mixed up? i know i got them right. there has to be some mistake. you taught me those topics, remember?"

"i did... "he averts his gaze. "but i don't remember teaching them to you mixed up, darling. i think you did that all on your own."

"but… why would i mix up my answers? that's —"

"see, what i mean?" he cuts you off, raising a hand to give your cheek the most delicate caress. "you're not well, baby. you need to be treated, especially with how much you hit your head during the accident. don't worry, i'm here. we'll try asking if you can stay in the dorms at least until you find another place —"

"am i a charity case to you?"

oh, the surprise on the junior's face when you push him away as you pin him with a hard stare. you just don't get it. why is kim doyoung so adamant about helping you? in becoming your hero, even when you never asked him to be? if you let him help you this time around, that'll be the 3rd time he came to save your ass. it's not as if you're ungrateful. simply, you've had enough of his help. you don't know how a person like you, who literally has nothing, can return the favor to someone like doyoung.

"what are you saying —"

"i'm saying…" you fix him a hard stare. "you helping me out doesn't even benefit you in the slightest. so why do you do it?"

he pauses, staring at you with hesitance in his eyes as this seems to be the very first time you've truly seen him speechless. when doyoung opens his mouth, he mumbles, and you hardly make sense of what he said. 

"do you really want to know why?" 

you urge him on with an arched eyebrow, his softened tone creeping into your heart. 

"you're someone special to me y/n. i don't know how or when i admitted it to myself, but you are, and it hurts me to see how shitty your luck is," he cracks a small grin, slowly settling back onto the hospital bed as he grabs your hand. "it's okay to seek help from others. it isn't a sign of vulnerability or weakness. i help you because i want to, and i'm more than willing to take care of you. will you let me?"

you're not blind. you've noticed the way he had slowly started coming closer as he continued to speak, hands held securely in his as he looked straight at your eyes then down at your lips. and so, you act in a way you know that will surely answer his question — with a kiss. 

the man before you immediately reciprocates, overpowering your own eagerness as he curls the tips of his fingers into the roots of your hair. he pulls you close, cradling you against his chest. you can taste his desperation in the way his tongue dances against yours, the kiss transporting you into an alternate reality where your world revolves around doyoung and doyoung alone. 

when he pulls away bleary-eyed, both of you ignore the thin strand of saliva connecting your lips. "how about you come live with me for the time being, my love?"

still high off his kiss and natural scent, you hardly mull over the question he asks you. "okay."

days later, after you've been discharged (he wanted to chip in for your hospital bills but you had given him a firm no), doyoung had been the one to show up at the dorm to collect all your things after leaving you in his apartment. the cutie had refused to simply drop you off and had deliberately accompanied you up the elevator, through the halls, and finally into his apartment. 

"i'll be out for just a minute, sugarcube."

"oh, can you get take out?"

doyoung had smiled, playfully booping the tip of your nose. "no, because i'll be cooking for us tonight as a little celebration for you getting discharged. you'll love it; i'm making your favorite!"

it was funny how the night had been nothing but utter bliss. the foreign feeling of being taken care of sprouting in your chest as you watch him cooking from behind the counter. it felt… nice. but funny enough, as if doing a 360, you both had immediately gotten into an argument the next day. 

"i don't see the need for skipping another day if i feel perfectly fine! i'll figure something out once we get there, doyoung, so can we just —"

"you' re not fine, babylove — hell, you got discharged yesterday! i'm not just about to let you back into the arena with those students. they've only grown more immature since your coma, love. i seriously don't want you near them."

"fine! then i won't talk to them. simple." you throw your hands up. "there. problem solved. now, can we please just go to uni? i need to talk to the dean and the head of student affairs, too —"

"i'm going to uni, not you."

maybe it had been the way he firmly stated his claim, the way his eyes pierced through your soul as if daring you to argue further with him that made you snap.

"i'm not a prisoner in this apartment, doyoung! don't treat me like i have the plague! i'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself — jesus christ, i've been doing it nearly half my fucking life!"

too caught up in your anger, you've failed to notice the tears pouring down his face as he sets his gaze on the floor. 

"you're right," his voice cracks. "i shouldn't be pushy like that. i'm sorry. you just mean so much to me and i'm so scared of losing you again. with your coma — i just — it's like i was fighting a losing battle each day that passed when i saw you in that hospital bed. i've never felt so scared in my whole life and i hated myself for not being able to protect you that night."

his tears run like waterfalls, and when you step forward with your arms wide open, doyoung sobs harder as he pulls you against him. you hardly comprehend what he says as he spoke, shaking against your frail body as you felt his tears stain your blouse. "i'm sorry, i never should've dictated what you felt — i'm so sorry."

"no, it's okay. i was feeling a little lightheaded, anyway. i'll stay here and i can come back to school next semester, right? doyoung? just… please stop crying."

he lifts his head, staring at you with bloodshot eyes before giving your forehead a kiss. you let a relieved sigh escape your lips, melting into his warmth as you prop your chin on his shoulder. if you had only been more attentive, you would've seen the reflection of his wicked grin on the tabletops. too easy.

living with him became a blur after that incident. everything fell into a routine for the next four days as you spent the day watching netflix, eating, reading, sleeping. nothing felt fun anymore. but your peaceful life had ceased during the fifth night — the whispers, they woke you up. you can hear them from behind your door at night, and when you rouse awake, you see doyoung walking around the hallway from the tiny gap at the bottom of the door. you had sighed, falling back into your plush bed as you pray to god, he keeps it down. 

but what he told you the next day rendered you speechless. "me, walking around the hallways? whispers?" he says, confused. "i was already asleep, love. knocked out cold the moment my body fell on the bed."

"but…"

he doesn't spare you a glance as he takes his sweet time skimming through his notes on the dining table, coffee in one hand. "maybe it's just the meds kicking in."

"no, surely it was real! i literally woke up in the middle of the night," you repeat. "it's okay if it was you, doyoung. i'm not mad."

he sets his coffee mug down a little too loud. 

"well, you can't be mad at me, sugar, because like i said — it wasn't me," it doesn't take a genius to notice he's awfully cranky today. you observe him, dark half-moons under his eyes as he relentlessly reads his notes with instant coffee in one hand. 

"you're just imagining things, okay? stop acting crazy."

for some reason, the way he had uttered certain words like 'imagining' and 'crazy' made you curl into your seat in embarrassment. he was right that your doctor did prescribe a generous amount of pills per day, but his tone made it feel off, made you feel like there was something wrong with you even when there wasn't… 

right?

you didn't say a word after that and had hesitantly pecked him on the cheek before he left for school. with the amount of time you're with him, two things stood out to you — his keen sense of observation and his knack for reading people. you highly doubt he didn't notice a shift in your behavior but a part of you thinks it's just the stress talking. he is about to take his finals and had recently started on his research paper. 

every psych student is required to present a paper in accordance with the department's annual theme. it could be anything from proposing a theory (if you dare) to constructing a well-developed psychology model. if you don't turn one in, you don't graduate — the paper's that important, and you've been bugging him for so long about sneaking a peek on what his study is about. but he always refused. 

the next week came rolling around, and both of you had been spending every day together due to the semestral break. the arguments have significantly lessened, but your episodes — eventually, you started calling it that way because that's how doyoung labels it — have only gotten worse. you end up moving out of the guest room and into his. privacy be damned. the whispers stopped momentarily but what came next became your imminent downfall.

the first time you heard it, you thought you were dreaming. but the doorknob kept rattling aggressively even as you sat up. just as you climb off the bed, your half-asleep boyfriend asks where you're going. 

"bathroom," you lied.

you were always the one to snort when it comes to the supernatural, claiming it's all bullshit. yet, as whatever outside continues to fight its way inside the room, the rattling progressing into loud bangs against the door, you're not so sure of your beliefs anymore. you're not crazy. nothing is wrong with you, and you're perfectly fine. this apartment is cursed, and you are going to prove that to doyoung.

grabbing your phone from the bedside table, you turn the flash on, pointing the camera at the door as you take a footage of the mad entity that has been playing games with you. a squeal escapes your lips when a particular bang! reverberates louder in the room than all the others. the phone slips your hand, falling onto the floorboards. you don't bother to retrieve it as you scramble to get yourself back under the blanket and into doyoung's comfortable warmth.

you snuggle yourself plush against his chest, shaking as you wrap your arms around his waist, inhaling his natural scent to anchor you back. 

bang! bang! bang!

you didn't get a wink of sleep last night.

"can't the video wait? there's a new episode of start-up, and i want to watch it already!" he whines, shoving his face further on the throw pillow situated on your lap.

you giggle, shaking your head as you scroll through your gallery to find the video. i'm not imagining things. i'm not hallucinating. i'm not crazy. "here! watch... i'm telling you this apartment is haunted, and the ghost probably likes you, which is why it doesn't bother you —"

your lighthearted rambling cuts off when you notice no sound emitting from your phone. weird. you could've sworn you started recording right when the loud banging has already started. your heart drops upon the wary stare doyoung shoots you before he continues to watch the video. 

no, no, no, no — please!

you quickly scoot over to his side, watching as the video unfolds before your very eyes. the shot was messy as the phone was handheld, not to mention you were panicking at the time. but the video is silent. not a single noise of a rattling doorknob or banging on the door can be heard through your phone's speakers. 

"maybe — maybe you didn't turn the volume up?"

you hardly contain the mortification in your face when you realize the volume's at 100 already. and as if on cue, your squeal is heard in the video and the noise of the phone hitting the floor.

doyoung's silence shakes your whole being. as you kneel before him teary-eyed, your voice breaks. "i swear, i'm not crazy."

but at this point, you don't believe yourself anymore.

for his third and final act;

he triumphs.

his deprivation began in minuscule ripples. 

it didn't take much effort on doyoung's end to convince you to stop studying for a year or two, at least, only until your hallucinations aren't as severe anymore. everyday felt like hell on earth as the fine line between what's real and what isn't has blurred over one too many times. in sheer paranoia of accidentally hurting him in his sleep, you moved out of his bedroom and had started sleeping in the guest room again — much to doyoung's frustration. 

but he's a smart man, one that recognizes an opportunity amidst the hurdles thrown on his path.

"why does my door need a lock outside again?"

he approaches you, who’s sitting cross-legged on the bed, after screwing in the last of the screws that came with the new doorknob. doyoung is familiar with the look written on your face, has observed and studied you enough to navigate his way inside your pretty little head with ease.

he can't have you doubting him, can he?

"you know i'm all about protecting you, right?" he starts. you nodded. "i've been doing it for a year now, and i will continue to do so until you need me to. the world is a bad place, sweetheart, remember? your own best friend's mother tried framing you. your dad disowned you. you've been ostracized in the whole college... do you think i'm just like the rest of them, baby?"

doyoung has already mastered the perfect expression of a kicked-puppy, one that easily pulls at your heartstrings and has you cooing at him.

"no!" you say with conviction, reaching forward to thread your fingers through his. "i know you're different, not like any of them at all. i know you're only doing what's… best for me."

he ignores the underlying hesitance in your tone. that will be corrected, sooner or later.

doyoung tightens his hold as he kisses the back of your hand. such an innocent gesture — but such ill intentions.

"the outside lock helps me in protecting you, love. you don't need to worry about anything. just focus on getting better, alright? i'll keep the bad guys away from you."

it was during his first semester of senior year, a few months back, doyoung and a good few students of his batch had been granted the opportunity to intern for a mental hospital located near the edge of the city. he was supposed to decline the offer but you convinced him to take the spot. it had only been a two-week “job” yet it was enough for doyoung to conclude — he’d rather kill you than subject you to the horrors of what the patients have to go through in the loony bin. 

eventually, the small ripples shift into unforgiving waves, dragging you into the depths as everything comes crashing down before your very own eyes.

it should have been like any other day inside the apartment. doyoung's already gone in the morning to attend classes. though not before setting a tray of your brunch on the nightstand, making sure to lock your door on his way out. he knew your nightmares and anxiety kept you up at night, resulting in longer hours of sleep during the day. 

turns out, you moving out of his bedroom had been a blessing in disguise. coming home to an empty apartment has become his biggest fear yet, and you unconsciously found a solution for him. one that doesn’t have him fidgeting on his seat as he counts down the minutes ‘til he’s back by your side.

doyoung smiles unconsciously as he listens to his professor drone on and on in front of him — his mind at peace, knowing you're safe and sound in your little prison.

until he received a text that made his blood run cold.

ty, 11:34 am —im done.

meanwhile, you rouse awake once more to thunderous poundings against your bedroom door. oh no, you thought. it's happening again. this time, there'll be no doyoung barging into your room, half-asleep and hair messy, as he tries to calm you down. you throw the blankets over you as you sob, hugging your legs against your chest as you try to 'wake yourself up' from the hallucination.

the person outside calls for your name, the desperation in their tone alighting a new-found fear in your heart. you don't know what's real anymore. is this truly happening, or is it another hallucination your fucked up mind has conjured up?

"please! it's taeyong! y/n, can you hear me?"

taeyong?

slowly, your head peaks above the blanket, warily staring at the door. doyoung has warned you about these kinds of things, has practically ingrained in your mind that whoever comes looking for you will take you away from him. not to mention, doyoung slipped one time and said he isn’t friends with taeyong anymore.

the banging on the door progresses.

“are you in there? answer me! i can’t find the key!”

you don’t say anything, merely pushing the covers off your body as you keep your eyes fixed on the beating door. it looks like it’s about to pop out its hinges as taeyong relentlessly fights his way inside your room. what are you going to do? do you open the door? oh. right. you can’t do that on your own accord. the key is with doyoung and he isn’t in the apartment at the moment.

all your thoughts come to a halt when the boy outside sends the door flying open, finally breaking the lock with one powerful kick. you flinch back, his actions pushing you on your feet, wanting to place a maximum amount of distance from the intruder. 

taeyong looks frantic, disheveled as he immediately notices your alarmed state. he approaches you cautiously, hands up to show his empty palms. “hey, hey… it’s just me, y/n. i’m not going to hurt you. i’m not the enemy here.”

“doyoung doesn’t know you’re here, does he?”

the look of surprise on his face is an answer in itself. for someone doyoung had proudly claimed to have “broken” you’re still quite quick to catch up on things, taeyong observed. and he doesn’t know what to feel about it — pity? guilt?

“that’s not important!” he claims, boldly surging forward to grasp your shoulders with a firm grip. taeyong felt his heart dropping when you flinch under his grasp. 

“listen to me. we need to get you out of here. doyoung isn’t — he isn’t everything you thought he is!” he can’t help but raise his voice, panic surging through him because there’s not much time left and you aren’t exactly cooperating. you’ve been trying to shrug off his hold the whole time. 

“do you think he actually loves you?”

“he does! stop saying bullshit!”

“doyoung never loved anyone and you want to know why? because he’s too in love with his research to care for anything else!” taeyong felt bad to have been so direct, especially when he sees the tears now falling freely down your cheeks. “listen to me, y/n! i’m not the enemy! if there’s anyone you should be pushing away, it’s doyoung! he turned you into his lab rat! you are nothing but a variable in his study! don’t you get it?”

taeyong grabs a firm but gentle hold of your head, trying to make you look at him straight in the eye for the gravity of what he’s about to say to you.

“doyoung had his eye on you since sophomore year. i told him this was a bad idea and that he should change the topic of the research and he was. fucking hell, he was about to scrap the whole thing until your bestfriend died and did you know what that psycho told me? that it was a sign for him to continue the research! and i’ve been pestering him so much that he moved out because he claimed i was going to get in the way of his discovery.

tell you what, if you can tell me right here, right now, that he has mentioned anything — anything at all — about his study to you then everything i’m saying is a lie.”

you have asked doyoung for the longest time about that research but the answers have always been the same. “not yet, my love. it’s not time for it to be seen with your eyes. soon, okay?”

with a voice not louder than a whisper, you ask. “what… what’s his research about?”

you fail to see the sorry look on taeyong’s face. “in psychology, they say a person only develops psychosis mainly through genetics or drugs. although you’re technically already a worthy “lab rat” considering your mom and upbringing, he wanted to expand the external factors of what causes the disorder — grief, grades, toxic family relations…”

you hear a ringing in your ear and a sudden urge to throw up. only, you didn’t have anything to hurl because your brunch remains untouched on your bedside. 

“but he hadn’t been successful. and that’s… that’s where i came along. doyoung thought the medications he’s been giving you isn’t doing what he wanted it to and he knew he needed a little push. i was… i gave him that push. remember the whispers, the banging on the door at night? it was all me. he made me do it. you know what that means, right? you’re not crazy. you don’t need to stay here cooped up like some kind of pet, believing all his lies as if it’s written in a fucking bible —”

he stops. and if he hadn’t, you wouldn’t’ve heard the familiar beeps of the front door’s automated lock going off. doyoung’s home. 

in lightning speed, taeyong has you sheltered behind him, throwing his warm coat over you in the process, hoping to give the smallest comfort amidst the chaos that’s about to erupt. there’s no point in pretending or hiding — one look at that lock and his crazy friend would know something’s off. 

taeyong feels you flinching behind him with every heavy footstep against the floorboards as doyoung wastes no time in getting to your room. and when he finally appears, hands braced against the door frame, you’ve never been this scared your whole life. his eyes are drawn into slits, fixated on taeyong alone. “how fucking dare you?”

“it’s over, doyoung. give it up or you wouldn’t have to suffer a longer sentence than you’ll already get.” taeyong tried with his whole being to appear intimidating.

“what’re you saying, yong? i meant, how fucking dare you barge in here and disturb my girlfriend in her sleep? that’s not very nice of you…” doyoung sports a disarming gummy smile as he approaches, hand outstretched and beckoning towards you. “c’mere, baby. i don’t think you’ve eaten lunch yet?”

“drop the fucking act, you psycho!”

“what act?” doyoung tilts his head innocently, gaze shifting from taeyong’s and yours, who keeps peeking from over his ex-friend’s shoulder. luring you out is a piece of cake unless taeyong decides to make things a wee bit more complicated, doyoung thought. “i’m just concerned for my darl —”

“we’re leaving.” taeyong cuts him off, breaking eye contact as he places a firm grip around your wrist. he pulls you towards him, farther away from your supposed lover as he tries walking past doyoung. 

but the said man pushes taeyong back with a humorless smile on his face. “and who told you that you can do that?”

a pregnant silence befalls the room as the two men size each other up. they regard each other with such hostility, you can't help but unconsciously fist the back of taeyong's sweater in nervousness, prompting the man to turn his head over his shoulder for a swift second to check up on you.

but a second is all that doyoung needed to deliver the first kick towards taeyong's legs, throwing him off his balance. if it was one thing doyoung knew, is that he needed to eliminate taeyong's agility all together if he wants to win against him. 

but taeyong isn't one to back down. the moment doyoung straddles him on the floor, with a fist raised to throw a punch, taeyong grunts as he rolls them around. doyoung now receiving taeyong's rain of fists as he yells. "fuck you! you manipulative asshole!"

you sat on the corner, horrified of the scene happening before you. you've never seen doyoung this way. he has always been your sweet, caring bunny, but after everything taeyong said, you aren't so sure you even know the man you've been living with. 

"everything i did, i did it for her!" you flinch at the sound of bones breaking as doyoung kicked taeyong's ribs. "she had nothing to lose! i saved her!"

the door is open, you noticed. wide-open and inviting you to make a run for it. and you would have made a run for it...  but taeyong. you can't leave him behind, not when he lays there bloody and grunting in pain as doyoung lets his anger take over him. so, as stupid as may be, you did it. you had to.

"you didn't save me," you say, schooling your face into indifference as doyoung whips around, forgetting about taeyong in the bat of an eye. "you caged me in here, treated me like there's something wrong with me, gaslighted me into believing everything you said! and... what did you say? 'saved me'? you made me go through hell!"

the whole time, taeyong tries his hardest to stand upright, but his broken ribs don't allow him to. the pain too great that he had no choice but to crawl instead, arms pulling his weight as he drags himself across the floorboards, desperately trying to get doyoung's attention back on him even if it meant getting beaten to death.

meanwhile, he had his eyes trained on you the whole time you spoke, sobbing as you walk backward in fear as doyoung approached you with a dark glint in his eye. he doesn't like what you're saying; that much is very clear. he wanted to yell at you, to scream of your ungratefulness despite his constant care but instead, he says.

"i thought we were making progress, baby. i guess i have to drill everything in your brain again. you're not okay, but you will be after i treat you."

you try to fight the urge to look at taeyong as he finds his strength, silently rising up from the floor to ambush doyoung while he's so busy preaching about you. 

"what i said is true, baby. do you actually think this scum over here is doing this to save you? do you actually believe everything he said? i've been here since day-1, my love. literally. and have i ever let you down? no. everything i'm doing is for us. even this damned research!"

taeyong surges forward to put him in a chokehold, but everything happened so fast, and the next thing you knew —

"did you actually think i'd fall for that?"

you didn't know the sound of a knife cutting through flesh could sound that loud, but nothing could beat the strained gasp that tumbled through taeyong's lips as he shakily held the knife pierced through his heart. you would've been concerned about how doyoung got it so accurate in one go or where the knife even came from. but you were too busy screaming, collapsing against the wall as you let out a broken sob. 

"no," you mutter. "no, no, no..."

you can't bear to avert your eyes from taeyong as he lies dying before you. the look of fear in his eyes would forever be ingrained in your mind, and no amount of brainwashing or gaslighting would ever make you forget.

doyoung killed him. you lost.

the knife clatters loudly on the floor as he slowly turns around as if he himself has yet to register what he did. you didn't know what to expect from doyoung's reaction but certainly not the eerie smile that starts spreading on his face. 

"now... how about that lunch, baby?"

✉ : a repost no one asked but i respectfully dont give a fuck <3

[marvelous-imagines]

Forever and always

Johnny Lawrence x larusso reader

Request: I’m watching cobra Kai and have fallen in love with Johnny! Could you maybe do a short post on Johnny liking Daniels sister and then they meet again in cobra Kai 😱

Warnings: mild language. Angst. Fluff

I can't find the person's account that requested this👉👈🥺💔

1984....

You and your family have just moved to California, now living in a small apartment complex where you and your brother are sharing a room, which was really a pain in the ass. Especially since Daniel didn't really seem keen on keeping his side tidy, it was annoying really. But you couldn't change it, no matter how bad you wanted to. But you could get out of the apartment for a while...

That's how you found yourself now, exploring the new territory with excitement. You've done been everywhere you'd thought, until you found the beach, that's where you were now. Barefoot as you walk on the beach, watching the ocean with a relaxed gaze.

Until a something hit you on the forehead, making you fall on your back with a yelp, pain instantly taking over your head. You had your eyes squeezed shut, a groan emitting from you.

"shit I think you knocked her out Johnny!" someone laughs, but you didn't care to open your eye's to see who.

"shut up asshole!" someone else says, that's when you felt someone crouched down beside you, hands gently grasping at your shoulders and giving you a gentle shake. Hand carefully pushing hair away from your now hurt forehead.

"hey, you alright?" the same voice said, you crack your eyes open and see two beautiful blue ones looking back at you with concern, his blond hair falling in front of his beautiful eyes as you feel the air being knocked from your lungs, heart skipping a beat as butterflies erupted in your belly.

This stranger was by far the most hottest stranger you've ever seen. He was handsome, beautiful, gorgeous.

"shit, can you hear me?" he asks, his voice bringing you out of your trance.

"y - yeah I'm fine - I'm okay" you stuttered out, trying to sit up, the handsome stranger helping you do so. "what the hell even happened?" you ask, watching how he let's a little smile sneak its way on his face.

"I threw my friends shoe away from him and it uh... Hit you in the face...he really hates sand..." he said trying not to laugh. You giggle a little, giving him a little grin.

"I'll have to admit, it's a little funny... But please watch where you throw stuff next time" you say with a chuckle.

"I can't make any promises sweetheart" he said, giving you a wink. You blushed, hating how handsome this man really was. His wink sending your heart into overdrive. "I'm Johnny Lawrence by the way" he stands up and offers you his hand. Which you gladly take, him helping you stand up.

"I'm y/n larusso, nice to meet you" you say rubbing at the sore spot on your forehead. Johnny looks guilty for a moment before his friends start shouting for him.

"to make it up to you for almost knocking you out, how about me and you go see a movie sometime, my treat?" he questioned, and even though you just got hit in the head you felt like you just won the lottery.

"that sounds nice, how about Friday?" you ask with a smile. Johnny gives you a smile as he stuffs his hands in his pockets, walking backwards and back to his friends.

"Friday it is" he confirmed, he set up the time and place and you felt yourself counting down the days until then.

Who would have thought being hit in the face with a shoe would have scored you a date with a handsome man?

Who would've thought that, that date would have brought you and Johnny closer, the outcome of being hit in the face making a beautiful relationship bloom. After that one movie date with Johnny there was more than one. One night you both went rollerskating another night you went mini gulfing. And after almost two weeks of dating Johnny had snuck you both into the local pool for a midnight swim. That was the night you first kissed, a night you would always remember.

You've been dating for a year, You fell so helplessly in love with him, he was sweet, loving, kind and even a gentleman. But you was the only one who saw that side of him. The only one who saw Johnny for who he really was. Everyone else saw him for his reputation, being a bully, a badass cobra Kai. They looked past his soft side that only you brought out, and looked straight at his tough guy attitude.

And even though he could be bit of an asshole and bully - especially with your brother. He wasn't really a bad guy. But you knew Daniel wouldn't agree with your relationship with Johnny, so you dated in secret. Always having dates when everyone in your house was asleep, hiding whenever you share kisses at school. Fleeting touches shared secretly, lingering gazes hidden.

But it was worth it, Johnny was worth it. And even though you knew Johnny and Daniel hated each other, you couldn't stay away from Johnny. You loved him. And the mere thought of leaving him hurt. So instead of choosing who you kept in your life, you tried keeping both. Because you knew if it ever came down to it Daniel wouldn't ever speak to you if he found out you and Johnny was a thing, that thought was painful considering you and Daniel was like twins, although he was a year older. And if Johnny knew Daniel wasn't speaking to you just because you two was dating, he'd make you runaway with him where you both could be together without someone trying to tear you apart.

You sigh at your wandering thoughts and live in the moment, that being seated in the sand, watching the ocean with Johnny's arm around you, holding you close against him you wearing his red jacket because the night wind was chilly. You've been sitting there for hours, listening to music on the boom box he brought. Talking and perhaps maybe making out.

It was nearing 2am when Johnny stood up, bringing you with him as he cups your cheek in hand and holds your hip in the other.

"we should probably get you home before you're family realize that you are gone" he muttered, face closer to yours. You smile and peck his lips before running off toward his bike. Hopping on the back and waiting for him you give him a grin.

"you better hurry slow poke!" you say, watching him run toward you with a laugh, the happiness on his face enough to cause your heart to swell.

Once he makes it to you he gives you a smirk, one hand resting on the handle bares of the bike while the other is resting on the seat behind you. He leans his face closer to yours.

"you're a tease y/n" he said, capturing your lips with his, the kiss deep and slow. His lips moving against yours perfectly. You pull away from the kiss and give him a cheeky smile.

"c'mon hot shot let's get going before Daniel wakes up for his usual kitchen raid" you joke making Johnny laugh. Hopping on the bike and listening to it roar to life. You wrapped your arms around Johnny's middle, holding him tight.

He then zooms down the road, wind blowing through your hair. You hold onto Johnny tightly, making him feel as if he was on top of the world. It didn't take long for him to slow down, before shutting the bike off. You was home, the apartment complex quiet all the lights off. You hop of the bike as Johnny stayed seated, watching you shrug off his jacket and handing it to him.

"I wish you could wear it all the time, it looks good on you" he said, taking it and putting it on.

"I think it looks pretty good on you Johnny" you replied back with a grin. He rolls his eyes and chuckles.

"you better get inside before Daniel or you're mom wakes up, my bike isn't exactly quiet" he points out causing you to sigh. "goodnight y/n"

"goodnight Johnny..." you lean in to give him one last kiss, him being the tease he is nibbles at your bottom lip. You giggle into the kiss and pull back reluctantly, Johnny smirking at you.

"I'll see you at school, bye babe" he starts up the bike as you back away slowly with a wave.

"bye Johnny, love you!" you say slightly loud over the noisy bike.

"love you too!" you watch how he gives you a wink before zooming down the road, disappearing from your sight. You sigh dreamily and head inside.

Completely oblivious to the watching eye's in your home.

You slip inside your bedroom and close the door quietly, slowly crawling in bed. As you laid down the light turns on making you jump up startled. Daniel gives you a look of disappointment. Making you instantly know that he knew.

"y'know I didn't believe Mr Miyagi when he told me that he saw you hanging around with Johnny but know I feel like a fool for not" he said, the disappointment Clear in his voice.

You sigh and hold your head in your hands. This was going to be a disaster...

"i was going to tell you -

"that's a lie" he scoffs, shaking his head. He looked angry now, he had a look of betrayal swimming in his eye's, "he's nothing but trouble y/n he's a bully! To be precise he bullies me!" now you scoff, looking up at Daniel with a annoyed look.

"I've been talking to him about that, he hasn't bathered you any now has he? he's not a bad guy Danny, he's nice, kind and he treats me like a queen! You just never give him the chance to be a nice civilized person because you instantly start going at each other's throats" you huff out, watching your brother shake his head.

"he's everything but good, did you see how he was fighting me at the tournament? He was fighting dirty!" he nearly yelled in anger, causing you to tense your jaw.

"he's different when it's just me and him, he's always so kind, so sweet...he loves me Danny, and I know you don't wanna hear it but I love him too... " you trail off knowing no matter what you say Daniel wouldn't change his mind. He didn't approve of the relationship, he didn't want you around him...

"he's a bad guy y/n, he's gonna end up breaking you're heart and I don't want that to happen to you... You deserve better" he muttered before cutting the light off and angrily going to sleep.

The next few days after that night was horrible. When you woke up you had walked into the kitchen, picking up a orange from the fruit bowl and tossing it to Daniel with a little 'think fast!' in hopes he would catch it like usual, a smile on his face. But instead he focused on his bowl of cereal and let it fall to the floor, ignoring you.

At school he didn't even look at you, wouldn't speak to you or even let you sit with him at lunch. It was painful, especially since you and Daniel was like bestfriends. He was always there for you when you needed him, a shoulder to lean on, cry on. You felt absolutely heart broken but thought perhaps he'd go back to being his normal self over time... But days turned to weeks and that's when you knew what needed to be done, no matter how hard it would be...

The room was dark, the only light being that of the moons blue hue shining through the window. You laid on your bed, watching the clock tick as you patiently wait for midnight to roll around. The cold silver locket in your hand felt heavy, your heart aching. You look down at the metal locket and sigh, flipping it open you let a little smile etch itself on your lips, the picture of you and Johnny one of your favorites, it was the night of your second date, the one where you had both went rollerskating. It was taken by Johnny, he held it further away from you both, smiling wide as you were. You close the locket as midnight had arrived, and for once you actually dread it.

Standing from the bed and slipping out the door, before you closed it Daniel spoke up making you freeze in shock that he was talking to you and fright that you had been caught.

"remember what I told you about him y/n, he's a prick, he'll kick you in the back any chance he gets" Daniel said, making a lump form in your throat. Looking down at the locket in your hand you nod.

"I won't give him the opportunity Danny..." you muttered, tears filling your eyes as you shut the door and leave the house with a heavy heart, a dark cloud lingering over your head.

The streets was empty, void of traffic or people. The star's twinkling in the night sky as the moons light danced across the ocean, waves crashing into the shore, sitting in the sand the man who stole your heart the moment you looked into his beautiful eyes...

Letting out a deep breath and wiping at your eye's in hopes the tears would go away you walk over to Johnny with a fake smile. He looks up at you with a smile.

"hey babe, before I came here I got you something" he grins up at you, holding a hand behide him and away from your sight. You felt your heart being squeezed by an unbearable pain. Out of all the nights he had to be the sweetest it just had to be now...

"oh, what it is?" you say sitting beside him, watching how he only grins wider.

"give me a kiss and it's you'res" you give him a genuine smile, leaning in and pecking his lips shortly. But that obviously wasn't enough, his pout saying it all, "what was that? That was hardly even a kiss!" he laughs, making you roll your eyes and press a more firm kiss on his lips, deciding to deepen it, relishing in the feeling of his soft lips on yours, engraving his taste into your memory as you place a hand on his jaw and pull him closer. Making him let out a noise of surprise into it, smirking as he pulls away slowly.

"how was that?" you ask teasingly. He chuckles and shows you the gift, which wasn't much honestly, just a flower, your favorite. You take it and feel your heart swell at the sweet gesture.

"johnny it's beautiful! Thank you" you kiss his cheek and decide you should give him the locket, even though you knew Johnny wouldn't even think twice about wearing a necklace, you still wanted him to have it. You pull it out of your pocket and hand it to him.

"I know you won't ever wear it, but I wanted you to have this..." you muttered, watching how he takes it and looks over it, a fond smile on his face.

"a locket?" he asks with confusion, looking inside it at the picture, "our second date..." he chuckles at the memory. He looks back up at you with a look of pure love and affection, making you feel sick to your stomach. Johnny noticed the change of mood in you and gives you a concerned look.

"what's wrong?" he placed the locket down and cups your face. You bite your bottom lip to stop it from trembling, unable to look him in the eye's.

"I - I'll always love you Johnny, no matter what... You know that right?" you say, voice cracking. He nods his head and wipes away a falling tear off your cheek. You didn't even know you was crying...

"of course, I'll always love you too y/n" he reassures you, but he only made you feel worse...

"I want to end things..." you let out your tears, your voice trembled. Johnny looks takem back by your words, shocked. He let's go of your cheek and flickers his eyes across your face, looking for any sign of anything but truth.

"what? Why?..." he questioned as he clenched his fist around the necklace in his hand. His once happy smile morphing into anger and sadness.

"we can't be together anymore... I'm sorry Johnny... I love you -

"if you loved me then you wouldn't be saying all that - bullshit!" he stood up, necklace in a vice like grip in his hand as he looked down at you with heart broken eyes, anger, betrayal.

"I'm sorry" you sob out, tears freely falling from your eye's. Johnny scoffs and shakes his head, tears swimming in a pool of anger in those beautiful blues of his, making your heart break even more.

"I should have expected this, you leading me on. You're no better then that loser brother of yours!" he yelled, taking one last look at the locket, his tears fell from his eye's making him angrily wipe them away, "love me forever eh?" he takes the locket and throws it somewhere away from you both.

You sit helplessly, crying on the beach as you watch Johnny walk away. But you knew if you had Johnny in your life your brother would never talk to you again.... It was a hard choice, and you found yourself regretting it...

2018....

You woke up with a loud groan, rolling over in bed spotting the book on your bed side table, reaching over and taking it, opening the book to see the old withered and slightly torn flower, your favorite. Although it's color was slightly gone and it was dead, you loved it. It reminded you of him.

Shutting the book you place it back on the table and stand up from your bed, deciding to begin the day with a hot shower. you gathered your clothes and head into the bathroom. After that you had a tiny breakfast and head straight to your brothers work, only to torture him a bit.

It's been years since that horrid night you broke up with Johnny, yet it still haunts you. The guilt and regret never went away, you never dated anyone after that, never got married. Although your brother would always set up blind dates for you, saying you needed someone in your life like how he had amanda, his wife.

You smile when you pull up into the auto shop, seeing the big letters of your last name plastered on the building. Parking your car and stepping out you head inside instantly spotting Daniel, who gives you a wide smile.

"well if it isn't the bum who always drops by!" he joked, hugging you. You laugh and hug him back.

"I dropped by to see if I could get my insurance this month payed off for free" you joke right back making him roll his eyes.

"no can do sis, I'm afraid you're gonna have to do that yourself" he said with a chuckle. "what are you here for though? Need a job? Because we are always hiring y/n - and I think you'd really love -

"Danny I don't need a job here" you laugh at his rambling. Daniel was always so eager to hire you, he wanted you both to work in the same field, under the same roof. But you didn't want to work at his business, although it was pretty awesome, you didn't really like the whole 'car selling and paperwork' theme. So you was a waitress at a old dinner, it didn't pay good but you wasn't poor. You knew Daniel felt slightly guilty for having so much money and a big house while you struggled to pay rent in a apartment building. That's why he made it a habit of loaning you - gifting actually, money. Even when you refused to take it.

"I actually came here to ask you about the whole dick in you're mouth thing?" you giggle at his face of horror and frustration.

"oh God you saw the billboard?" he asks with a low tone, a look of annoyance etched on his face.

"of course I saw it! I think everyone has" you laughed, almost at the point of wheezing. "I even took a picture so I can always have it as a reminder" you wheeze out, causing him to groan.

"of course you'd do that" he muttered with a roll of his eyes.

"who done that anyway?" you ask, watching his expression turn from embarrassing and frustrated to conflict and deep thought.

"they didn't find him...or her..." he muttered, turning his back on you. Confused by how he just obviously lied to you, you shrug it off and understand it's a touchy subject for him, Amanda kindly texting you not to bring it up, but you did because it was to good not to.

"okay, well I hope you're day doesn't suck to bad" you stifle a laugh at your pun. He groans and shoo's you away.

"get out of here before I ban you!" you laugh loudly and complie, leaving the place. But as you walk to your car you noticed a yellow flyer on the ground. curious, you pick it up, heart skipping a beat at the word's...cobra Kai... But your heart fluttered yet is clenched with a guilt filled pain at the picture.

Johnny Lawrence in all his glory. He looked the same, a bit aged but still the handsome man who stole your heart all those years ago.

Folding the picture up you hop inside your car, deciding a little visit to this new cobra Kai dojo wasn't so bad. So starting your car and searching for the place you let your mind wander.

Was he still mad at you? Did he hate you?

Of course he did. you broke his heart for Christ's sake. He threw the locket you gave him away like it was a poisonous snake. You sigh when the building comes in sight. You park and stare at it, debating whether you should go in or not.

What if he didn't want to see you? Or what the hell would you even say?

You let out a deep dragged out breath before opening up your car door and getting out. You wanted to see him again, you needed to. So without a second thought you approached the dojo, getting ready to open the door while your head was held low.

That's when you felt a horrible pain in your nose as you fall on your back, a yelp emitting from you as you hold your hurting nose. Feeling the warm sensation of blood slowly falling from it. With eyes squeezed shut you groan.

"oh my God! Are you okay?" the familier sound of the one and only Johnny Lawrence blesses your ears. You feel his hands gently push your hair away and out of your face. "lady you're gonna have to move your hands otherwise I can't see what the hells wrong" you would have laughed at his polite yet slightly rude words if you didn't think your nose was broken.

You move them slowly and open your eyes only to be greeted with his beautiful concern filled blue ones. That's when it hit him, the realization of who you were, "y/n larusso? Is that you?" you sit up slowly and nod.

"yeah, is it just me or do you greet all women by hurting them unintentionally?" you joke, causing him to smile a small smile.

"come inside and let me check you're nose out, try stop the bleeding" he says while helping you up, leading you inside. His hold on your hand never filtered as he held it all the way to a little office typed room. Cleaning his desk off and motioning you to sit down on it. You do so and watch how he disappeared into some other room and soon returned with a few tissues and a cotton ball.

"so what brings you here? Wanting to learn some karate?" he asks with a teasing smile, wiping the blood from your nose then delicately placing the cotton ball inside the bleeding nostril.

"no, I actually saw a flyer and wanted to... See you" you muttered the last sentence but he heard. Giving you a small barely noticeable smile he crossed his arms. "it's been a while" you say with a nervous chuckle. Taking your eyes off him and looking down at your hands.

"well, since I hit you with my door how about I make it up to you and buy you a drink?" he suggests, causing you to snap your head up eagerly and nod.

"that sounds only fair" you giggle. He chuckles and reaches for his keys beside you on the table.

"then follow me" he said as he leads you out of the dojo.

In a car ride full of silence besides the classic rock playing on the radio, you both had arrived at a quiet little bar, where you both sat tucked away in a booth in the corner. A beer in both your hands as you talked and laughed like old times.

"oh God, do you remember that time when I snuck in through you're bedroom window and I didn't know you and you're brother shared room?" he asks with a laugh, the memory a hilarious one.

"you had to hide under the bed for like 5 hours before Daniel went to sleep!" you laughed, remembering how Daniel stayed up that night for hours telling you horrible jokes and stuff. Poor Johnny hiding under your bed and suffering through it with you.

"nothing will ever be as funny as that one time we went skating and you nearly broke my neck trying to push me away from you because you saw Daniel with ali" he snickered, sipping his beer as you snort.

"you wouldn't stop trying to make out with me, I thought he would for sure see us" you giggle while sipping your own beer.

"we used to have so much fun" he muttered, a nostalgic look on his face. You give him a fond smile and nod.

"y'know, I never wanted to break up with you that night..." you say, mind slightly buzzed from all the beers you've had. Not quite drunk, just more bolder with your words. "the only reason I did was because Daniel found out about us... He Stopped talking to me for days, he hated me"

That caught his attention and made him devote his full attention on you.

"he stopped talking to me, completely acting as if I didn't exist. So I knew if I didn't end things between you and me, I'd lose my only brother" you sigh, shaking your head and giving him a apologetic look. "I'm sorry I think I've had way to many -

"I kept it..." he blurted out, cutting your words short. You give him a confused look. "the locket, I went back the night after you ended things and found it" he reaches for the neckline of his shirt and pulled out the silver necklace locket.

You felt a flutter in your heart, a hope blooming inside you that perhaps maybe you still had a chance with Johnny. He smiles and flips the heart shaped pendent open, revealing the photo inside.

"you found it?" you questioned as you stood only to sit beside him, shoulders nearly touching as he shows it to you.

"of course, I didn't really throw it that far" he said while closing it, shoving it back under his shirt, "besides, even though you broke up with me I couldn't ever get you off my mind" he confessed while looking at you with those big blue eye's of his.

"likewise, I regretted that night ever since it happened" you muttered while looking away from him, feeling the guilt and heartbreak weighing down on you. Tears slowly starting to glisten in your eye's.

But Johnny gently placed his hand on your face, palm firmly pressed on your cheek as he makes you look at him.

"I understand y/n, I understand that you done that because you're brother and I aren't exactly bestfriends" he reassures you. Causing a little smile to tug at your lips. "I never stopped loving you y/n, and even though I can't stand you're brother... I'd love to take you to dinner sometime?" he asks with a little half smile.

You felt a wave of happiness wash over you, heart swelling with joy as you nod.

"of course, I'd love that" you say with a wide grin. He let's out a little chuckle, a silence falling over you two, his hand still on your cheek as he just let's his eyes roam your face with adoration.

"I missed you" he muttered, his thumb rubbing at your cheek.

"I missed you too..." you murmured, as you lean into his touch.

And as if he couldn't live without his lips on yours he brings your face closer and pressed his lips on yours. You was surprised at first but soon let your lips move with his in the familier way you missed, the kiss was enough to take your breath away. The way he nibbled at your bottom lip caused you to giggle into the kiss. Pulling away he gives you his beautiful smirk.

"I see you haven't changed a bit Johnny" you murmur with, small smile on your face.

"neither have you y/n..." he placed another kiss on your forehead as he wraps a arm around you, holding you close to him. For once in your life you feel content, happy. And there is no place you'd rather be than in Johnny's warm arms..

A/n: I know this sucks, and I'm sorry it took so long, I'm a very busy person *coughs* it's classified👀

Also I left my phone unattended, I was also in the middle of writing this here imagine, and when I came back to check on it my little sister had down this:

I laughed at this for a while 😂🤣

[beastie-anon]

I think that Ron and Ceasar would be a cute couple so some light fluffy nsfw with them would be cute

Holy shit that would be cute ok here I go- We'll do some cute fluff first and I'll put nsfw under a cut!)

Ron and Ceasar were locked into a room together, Ron for once did the smart thing and sat down. He mostly just wanted to see what Ceasar would do, To see if he would be a threat or not. Ceasar was banging on walls and trying to break through, Failing horribly. As a last resort he slammed his weapon he made into it, And it shattered. Ceasar was panicking, And Ron seeing how his attempts were for nothing decided against trying himself. Ceasar was a famous streamer after all, And he showed his strength in some of his videos. Ron saw Ceasar do shit he couldn't even think of doing, So really it would be pointless.

"Hey uh- C-Ceasar, I know it's a horrible time but.. Can I get an autograph? Heheh..? I-It was so cool how you killed so many humans and when you sang that song you made with the guitar! It was so cool and you sounded amazing!"

"Cut the crap 'your majesty'. All anyone ever watches me for is for a look at my.. Ugh, Goods."

"I'm serious- I liked those episodes the best. I listen to your podcasts while I work since I can't really watch stuff while on the job-"

"I said cut the crap! I bet you don't even know what I said in those videos!"

"Why are you so defensive?!"

"Because I know that nobody in hell would ever want me for anything more than my looks and body."

There was a heavy and upsetting silence in the room, Ron and Ceasar sitting on opposite sides of the room. It seemed like an eternity before surprisingly, Ron broke the silence.

"You used a bomb that you hand crafted. You spent forever making the atoms yourself with engineering, And before that you used the lower lives to test everything out with-"

"Okay stop, I get it you really did listen. Doesnt prove shit."

"...Listen, I'm sorry your entire stay in hell was so horrible. If it was in my jurisdiction you'd of been put into a nice little condo and be given all you needed to survive-"

"What, In exchange for-"

"STOP! I'm tired of you interrupting me! I haven't said anything wrong or shitty to you so why do you keep getting so defensive and angry at me? I didn't trap us in this fucking box and I didn't do any of that shit to you!"

Ceasar seemed a bit taken aback at the sudden snapping, But Ron was right. He didn't do anything to provoke or try to hurt Ceasar at all, It was unfair for Ceasar to take the bad situation out on him. After all, Ron was in the same situation. The silence took over again before Ron once again surprisingly took initiative and stood. He walked to Ceasar and offered him a hand to help him stand.

"Look I'm.. I'm sorry if I upset you, I didn't mean to.. Your the coolest person like, EVER, And I guess seeing that your not the screen I'm used to seeing made me.. Upset, Snappy. In reality your just a person, Like me."

Ceasar was a bit surprised. Ron hadn't even done anything wrong, Yet he apologized anyways. Ceasar decided to take advantage of not having to say sorry and just nodded.

"It's fine, I get it. Thanks for the apology.. It takes a good man to admit when hes wrong."

Ron sighed and nodded, Pulling Ceasar to his feet. They didn't really know what to do now, Until some things were teleported in.. A few board games. Ceasar set them up and they started to play, Chatting as they did.

"You know, I've always admired you. You seemed to be the only sane king you know? Especially compared to.. Well, The candy king. Bob or whatever.. He's like insane. He thinks we can survive with the humans and work together, You know their rightful place is in our stomachs as food."

"I'm glad you think so! I know I'm the best one out there, But it's nice to hear it. Especially from you, Hahah.."

As they both went to grab the dice their hands touched for a second, Their eyes locking together before Ron moved away flusterdly.

"S-Sorry uhh its y-your turn anyways-"

Ron's face was red with a blush, And Ceasars had a slight tint as well. Ron's strange politeness and apologetic attitude really sparked something inside of Ceasar, But he wouldn't admit it. Not yet, At least. He rolled the dice and they played in a crushy yet comfortable silence for a while. Somehow the feelings were developing quicker than if they had met in the real world, Little did they know it was from the mysterious gas slowly pouring into the room... an experimental gas they labeled as 'CUPID-X2', Meant to make people like eachother and fall inlove much quicker than usual. The feelings would have developed anyways, It was just to quicken the process.

"You know Ron.. Your kinda cute."

Ceasar had a devilish little smirk, Trying to get a reaction from him. It definitely worked, Since Ron started to stutter and stumble over words. Ceasar climbed over the board and kissed him on the cheek, Chuckling to himself a bit.

Slight nsfw under cut, Mostly just feeling eachother up over clothes and rubbing under eachothers shirts

Ron leaned down and kissed Ceasar on the lips in retaliation for the kiss on the cheek, His hands trailing to his shirt. Ceasar jumped and pushed away from Ron, And he quickly stopped.

"I-I'm sorry I shouldn't of-"

"It's.. It's not you I'm sorry It's...I'm sorry I'm not.. Ready for that.."

Ron understood and kept his hands to himself.

"Would you.. Be more comfortable if I don't touch you? If you touched me instead..? It's fine if not I just want to make sure your-"

"I-I think I can do that."

Ceasar gently rubbed his hands over Ron's full body suit, Massaging over his surprisingly muscular chest. He sat on top of his stomach as he gently traced over him, Ron tried to quiet his breaths, Getting a bit excited just from the light touches.. Ceasar leaned down and gently kissed his neck, Wrapping his arms around him before leaning down and laying his head onto Ron's chest.

"..If.. You want to.. I-I think I'm okay with you touching me, A-As long as you.. Don't go inside.."

Ron nodded before gently cupping his ass with a gentle squeeze, Causing Ceasar to bury his head deeper into Ron's chest with a whimper. He traced along his sides before making his way to his shirt, Slipping his hands under and rubbing his chest gently tracing his abs. Ceasar could feel himself getting a bit hard, And as Ron started to pull away Ceasar whimpered a bit again.

"N-No don't stop yet- Please..?"

"I.. O-Okay."

He traced his hands down to his thighs before grazing Ceasar's crotch gently with his thumbs. His member twitched excitedly. Ceasar gently grabbed Ron's hand and started to lead it into his pants, Ron quickly yet gently pulled his hand away.

"..No, I know you.. M-Might feel different now but I don't want you to make a mistake with me.."

Ceasar was about to argue, But decided it'd be better not to. He closed his eyes and gently fell asleep on Ron's chest, A door out of the room opening as they slept

[devinescribe]

Found You

Part 8 to '100 Promises'

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Warnings: swearing, I think that's it

"Oh shit... agh, brainfreeze," you cursed, holding your head. It was a hot summer afternoon, and you had decided to get ice cream with Niragi. "Dumbass," he laughed, watching you groan in pain. You glared at him, the pain going away. "Fuck off," you said, going back to slowly licking at the ice cream. He shook his head, laughing slightly.

He made his way through the hole in the wall. No, it wasn't a hallway, a literal hole in the wall. It went through and led into the kitchen. He had found out about it once when he saw Last Boss come out of it during one of his patrols. He followed it, and saw were it lead. By process of elimination he had narrowed down the other player of the game to be Last Boss. So, in a general assumption, he assumed you would be in the kitchen. It was dark as he made his way through it, hoping to get out of it as soon as possible. It gave him a bad feeling. Why was there a random hole in the wall leading to the kitchen? It seemed awfully strange to him. Like something out of a horror game when the monster jumps out to attack you. "Oh hell no, damn my thoughts straight to hell," he cursed, walking faster through the tunnel.

Finally, he was at the entrance to the kitchen. It was covered up by a couple things, but, he managed. When he did he heard you giggling about something.

"You know, I think this was a great idea," you giggled, nibbling on one of the cookies. "I know of quite a few places to hide if you ever need one. It can get... loud... hectic... and chaotic here," Last Boss responded. You smiled. You were about to bite the cookie again, before arms were around you. In the moment, you panicked, grabbing the person back and flipping them onto their back. You quickly grabbed the knife you'd picked up earlier, pointing it them, before noticing it was Niragi. You let out a relieved sigh. "Ow... that hurt," he groaned, sitting up, holding the back of his head "Sorry. Don't sneak up on me like that," you said. He smirked. "That makes 1,853 games of hide and seek in a row I've won. 8 year winning streak," he bragged, obviously over getting hurt. "Oh go fuck yourself, you whore," you insulted, flipping him off, sticking your tongue out. You turned to Last Boss and smiled. "It was nice hiding with you," you said. Said man was confused on how you kept switching between your emotions so quickly. "Oh... uh, it was nice... hiding with you too, I guess," he responded. You laughed, holding a hand out to Niragi. He grabbed onto you, and you helped him up. "See, I'm a bitch, but at least I'm just a bad bitch, not a heartless bitch," you laughed. He smiled a bit. Standing in the kitchen with you talking, the warmth. Even Last Boss was talking to you. Everything about it felt like home. Home felt like you. Home felt like the feeling he got whenever he was with you. Maybe it was because you were home.

He watched as you talked avidly with Last Boss. You two seemed to get along, which was good. "Shit, it's already 12 am? Don't we have a supply run thingy tomorrow?" You questioned, finally noticing the time. "Uh... yeah," Niragi responded. "At least were not drunk... then Aguni might have a problem," Last Boss said. Both men shuddered, remembering what had happened last time. "Ooh, spill!" You said, sitting on top of one of the counters. Last Boss shook his head, and Niragi looked away. "Was it that bad?" You asked, a smirk building it's way across your face. "One thing you'll notice about Aguni is... he's like... a military dad. He's strict, but also doesn't care at the same time? But there's rules. And since there's few rules, it's not like you can forget. So... yeah," Niragi explained. "Can't wait to actually meet this man and see if you guys are exaggerating," you giggled. "Alright, get off the counter so we can go to your room," Niragi sighed, stretching his arms. "Carry me?" You asked, hiding your laughter. "Last time you said that, we both fell down the stairs," he reminded, rolling his eyes. "That's because you have weak noodle arms you lanky bitch," you said, laughing. "Ahahahaha fuck you."

You three finally made your way up the stairs. "So, does everyone just... party the whole night?" You asked, seeing as there was no on really in the lobby, but you could still hear the heavy bass of the loud music playing outside. Niragi nodded. "Fun for them, annoying for those who actually try to sleep," Last Boss commented. It was really just a paradise for people. A safe haven for players. And why wouldn't it? There's protection, other people, food, supplies, electricity. Anything you could want or need was at the Beach. It was curious how they managed to put it all together. So well thought out.

"Well... goodnight," you said, opening the door to your new room. "I'll wake you up tomorrow. By any means necessary," he stated, disappearing into his room. You sighed, closing the door behind you. It felt the same, but it was different. You knew that it would be hard to adjust, but a part of you had already adjusted. Maybe it was the years of torture through your childhood, or the things you put up with in your day to day life, but this didn't feel weird at all. It felt... normal. Besides the games, no negatives were really made clear to you. So, what was so bad about being here? It seemed better than your normal life. You sighed, shaking your head. You shouldn't be thinking like that, your life before was just fine with Niragi. You thought you had lost him. But, then you found him here. So even in places of despair and chaos, you could find a silver lining. "Ick... that sounds cheesy," you muttered, getting under the covers of the bed. The second you laid down, all the pain in your body was alleviated. The pillows were cold under you, the bed soft. You let out a satisfied sigh. If this was what staying at the Beach was like, you wouldn't mind. But, you also couldn't let yourself fall into that mentality. Your eyes drooped slowly, sleep taking over your body.

"And how was your date?" You asked as soon as he walked into through the door. "We never speak of her again," was all he said with a groan. "Goddamn, that bad? What did she do?" You questioned, as he walked over to the couch, sitting besides you. "Well, at first, she was ok. Then she immediately went into the topic of money, which like big red flag, but I didn't care. Right after we started talking about friends and family. I brought you up, and she was all like 'no, you see, that's not going to work because I have to be the only special girl in your life' and I was like, well... jealous much? I don't know who hurt her but it's... ugh," he groaned. Niragi had never been interested I'm dating per se. He didn't have any interest in anyone all throughout high school, which was one of the reasons people thought you two were together. "What about you? How'd it go?" He asked. "Not great. He was narcissistic, misogynistic, and rude. Like... 'women belong in the kitchen' kind of misogyny. God it was horrible. A total incel of a boy," you explained, shaking your head. "Looks like we both have trouble with dating, hm?" He said, leaning his head back, staring up at the ceiling, following the cracks in them. He'd always suggested you two move, especially with the occupation both of you had, you could afford to move somewhere else. You'd always tell him to wait a couple years because you never know what could happen. You had always said, "What if you meet the person of your dreams and decide to move in with them?" He never thought much about having someone else. It was always (Y/N) and Niragi against the world. It seemed weird to his mother last time she had called to ask about that. He'd told her the same thing. "No one really... interests me. No one ever has."

Now, his mother was a person who changed herself for the better. She had never had the courage to leave her husband, his father, however. She observed her son's behavior, and asked him something that really made his mind question itself. "Do you think no one interests you... because you like (Y/N)? In a more than friend way, I mean." He had never thought about that. At all. He had only ever known kindness from you, and his mother later in life. So, did he? He couldn't have. It would be wrong, wouldn't it? To insinuate such a thing to you?

Screaming, heat, fires, crumbling debris all around you fell. The smoke and ash heavy in the air. " 'Ragi?! What's going on?!"

Shattered glass stuck onto your arms, blood dripping onto the asphalt. "You can't leave me... you can't, not again!"

Wake up.

"(Y/N), you can't leave me now..."

"I can! What the hell made you think that was ok!"

Wake up.

"You're bleeding!"

"No shit Sherlock. It's called getting shot. Somehow, I just can't seem to die."

"Don't fucking say that!''

Wake up.

"Oi! Wake up!"

"Don't leave me-! What the hell? What's going on?"

"It's time to wake up. We have a supply run to do.''

[accioprozac]

hi 💗 I was wondering if you'd be willing to do a ship for hp lightning era? I'm an aries, a Hufflepuff and an INFJ. I'm a knowledge sponge and love to learn new things! I have books on anatomy, astronomy, proper herbology, the meaning of flowers, etc etc. I have long blonde hair and big, pale blue eyes and freckles, too. personality wise, I thrive off of relationships where I can banter with someone. I have a really soft personality despite being a bit of a snark sometimes. I love sappy romances and I write poetry and love to play piano. I'm a planner by nature, so I kinda always have neat notes w/highlighters and a planner with all my life figured out, but I still really value spontaneity. I'm actually quite sensitive though I don't let on (due to years of being bullied). I struggle with severe anxiety, depression and OCPD but right now I'm trying take control of my "fate". tired of depression ruling my life, the norm. I am an empath, to the point that I've had friends say I'm "psychic" (lol) because I can guess what they're thinking and I've predicted events moments before they've happened. it's really just intuitiveness 🤷🏼‍♀️ thank you!!!

Hi love!

Thanks so much for requesting!

I was torn between two characters so I wrote a little drabble for both! I hope you don’t mind!

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So first up:

Neville Longbottom

Neville is an absolute sweetheart. You and him were in the same Herbology class and bonded over your mutual interest in the subject.

He’s super shy around you at first because you’re pretty and smart and he’s nervous. As you guys talk more, he finds himself slowly falling for you.

He finds out that you’re into romance novels and reads a few you lend him. He ends up feeling super self concious because he could never be smooth and confident like Mr. Darcy or any of the other characters you held so close to your heart.

You two are casually sitting by the fireplace when he asks you if you want to date someone like the hero’s in the novels the read.

You laugh and say, “God no, these are just books, I like them, but I don’t need a Mr. Darcy.”

In a moment of boldness he asks, “What do you need?”

You blush and look away shyly, “I need someone who will make me laugh. Someone who will remind me that it’s okay to not be okay.”

Neville warmed at your words, “Well they do say ‘marry your best friend’ for a reason.”

You bit your bottom lip nervously, “You are my best friend.”

He blushed, panicking a bit, “Oh, I didn’t mean to imply anything, or make you uncomfortable. Maybe I should just leave-“

You cut him off with a kiss that surprises him as much as it surprises you.

You guys start dating and he’s a very attentive boyfriend. When you’ve had a bad day, he’ll cuddle with you and read you a book.

The second person I ship you with is...

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Fred Weasley!

Okay, okay, hear me out. Fred and you balance each other out perfectly.

He teases you endlessly because our boy can not cope with having a crush. All the teasing is very lighthearted and makes you blush more than anything, but if he ever does say something hurtful, he’ll instantly pick up on it and apologize.

He never pranks you, and doesn’t let George prank you either.

During Herbology, he plucked your book out of your hand and started reading from it, making little comments about it. “He kissed her ardently,” he read, before fake swooning.

In private, you would have found it funny, but you were in class and painfully aware of the 20 something students around you.

Your eyes fill with tears of frtustration and embarrassment, and he immediately stops. You snatch the book out of his hand and run out of class.

He feels horrible. For the next week, he literally follows you around like a lost puppy. Fred is shit with words, but he writes(or attempts at least) to write you a poem. It’s absolutely horrible, but it makes you laugh and smile to yourself.

He has a plethora of pet names for you, “Sunshine,” “Darling,” “Blondie,” and “Flower” being among his favourites.

He goes absolutely soft when you play the piano. It’s actually kind of entertaining to see your loud, outspoken Fred turn into a cuddly, sleepy boyfriend.

He also likes to listen to you read to him. Despite him insisting he doesn’t like your romance novels, he’s actually hooked. “Fine Darling... I guess you can read it to me if you want... *sigh* ” “Freddie, you’re not fooling anyone.”

You enjoy playfully bantering with each other, which always ends in uncontrollable laughter.

He tries to be spontaneous, but understands not to push you. He’ll say, “I have a surprise!” and shock you with a romantic picnic.

When you’re having a bad mental health day, he’s there for you. He’ll cuddle with you, make sure you eat and drink, and remind you how much you mean to him.

On your one month anniversary, he surprises you with a bouquet of flowers. He tells you the arrangement means, “I love you and you’re my everything.”

“I talked to a muggle florist, he was very helpful!”

He looks so proud of himself and you don’t have the heart to tell him that the flowers actually conveyed, “My head is a carrot.”

[rainbowglittr]

Senior Year Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Cause baby now we got bad blood

You know we used to be mad love

So take a look what you've done

Cause baby now we got bad blood.............

Kiara, Robyn and I walked into the gym. Robyn's mom dropped us off. We got ready together, Robyn in her shimmery green dress, Kiara in ocean blue, and me in a sparkly sliver and black dress. We were speechless-it didn't even look like the gym, it was amazing. The whole place was dark and had glow sticks and black and strobe lights all around. It looked like a glow in the dark club. People were dancing and laughing to the music. We looked around for the rest of our friends and found them front and center right by the Dj. The music was blasting to the point where I could feel it vibrating through my chest.

"Hey! You look great!" We exchanged compliments and talked about the decorations. Then a couple walked up to us. Tyler kept it simple with a nice black top and tie. I mean he looked great in black, Mariah, had a long flowy white dress with gold accents. Her hair was in a Hollywood updo. She was a little overdone for home coming but she looked good.

"Hey guys, did we miss anything?" Said Tyler.

"Nah, party just got started. You guys look good!" Said Jesse. Now I'm like 99% sure they coordinated their outfits, cause Jesse was wearing practically the same thing as Tyler except his tie was blue instead of red. Everyone was kind of chilling and talking, but when the Dj started playing "Single Ladies"by Beyonće everyone got up and when I say everyone I mean EVERYONE, rushed to the dance floor. Everyone was jumping and moving and shaking and (unfortunately, that may or may not have included Mariah), twerking. Song after song we were laughing, dancing, and watching the already tipsy people, and the people who couldn't save it for the bedroom. Soon Robyn got dragged away by Kyle, go figure. Jesse and Kiara got pulled away by some friends and soon enough it was just me, Tyler, and Mariah. Surprisingly we were having fun and dancing together. I gave them space so that I wasn't third wheeling and saw and danced with some other friends I happened to see. She didn't try to pull any stunts, I mean she could have done A LOT less of twerking on Tyler but I wasn't surprised. Mariah even complimented my dress, and my make-up which was shocking, I guess she really was trying to be nice. I felt weird once a slower song came on, so I just moved away to give them space. I had to admit they were a really cute couple, and even though Mariah can piss me off, she makes Tyler happy; so I guess that's all that really matters. I started scanning the crowd for my friends. No luck. It was too dark to see anyone. When I turned around again the music sped up a bit and Tyler said he'd come back with some drinks for us.

"You guys looked really cute over there." I said to Mariah as we stood to the side looking over the crowd.

"Shut the fuck up, Jaleia. We are NOT even anything close to being friends." Mariah sneered. I was actually taken aback by her comment. What the hell happened to being nice???

"What? Are you okay?"

"You fucking heard me. Don't even bother acting like we're friends, I'm only being nice because Tyler told me I had to."

"I have to admit you are quite the actress. But you won't be able to fool anyone much longer. A fake ho will always reveal her true colors."

"Maybe if someone found you even slightly attractive you wouldn't be third wheeling with me and my boyfriend, who I know you want but you're too much of an fucking ugly disgusting worthless bitch for him to even think about wanting you. He will never choose you over me no matter how long you've been friends. When you're done acting like a thirsty slut maybe someone will want you. So please fuck off cause you'll never have him. You only wish you could compete with me, dog face. Tyler and everyone else don't give two shits about you. But You look so pretty tonight." Mariah smiled at me and flipped her hair. I was so pissed. I know I shouldn't have let her get to me, I know but I just wanted to rip her ugly stupid head off. So I did the next best thing to that. I pushed her flat on her ass and was thinking about  slapping the concealer off her face.

"You have got to be the biggest bitch on the planet. I can't wait for Tyler to dump your ass. You're nothing but an unhappy bitch and that's all you will ever be. Fuck you!" Before I could even continue my tirade or hit her I was being lifted away from her by no other than Tyler himself.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? That's my fucking girlfriend! I thought that you would actually appreciate her being extra nice. I tried so hard not to believe what everyone has been saying but you? I swear you're such a bitch sometimes! I don't even know why I bothered!" he screamed at me once we were away from the crowd. Me and Tyler have had some really bad, horrible, fights before but he's never ever called me a bitch. Ever. I was beyond pissed.

"Me? You're mad at me? You didn't ever hear what she was saying to me. You don't even know all the things she's said behind your back! She's the bitch! I was trying to be nice but-"

"Oh please Jaleia, I heard her complement you, and you attacked her for no reason! I tried to defend you. I told everyone that we were just friends, that you weren't like that. I even told her she had to be nice to you because you were important to me. I didn't think that you were that jealous that you can't even control your fucking self!"

"What the does that even mean? I didn't do anything wrong! You can watch the way your speaking to me! And what the hell is "everyone" saying?"

"Since you want to know, everyone thinks you're jealous of Mariah. That you'd try and steal me from from her, and that you're a ho. And I have to say I agree with them. You're jealous! You always have been whenever I had a girlfriend, you've always acted ridiculous. You're threatened and jealous of Mariah. You just proved that."

"I'm the ho? Check your fucking girlfriend! You have your head so far up your ass you can't even see it! SHE'S A TOTAL BITCH! See how she'll do you when the shit hits the fan. Does our friendship mean nothing to you? I'm not jealous. I just know she's not good for you. You know I'm not like that. You know. I ONLY WANTED THE BEST FOR YOU! Don't flatter yourself." By now I was in RAGE MODE.

"You know what Jaleia, I don't know. But what I do know is that I've had enough. I'm done with you not being able to respect my girlfriend. I'm tired of your stupid unfounded theories about her. I'm just sick of you! One minute you support our relationship the next minute you're fighting my girlfriend? I'm done. I can't do this anymore. I don't want to see you anymore, or talk to you or anything, I'm just through with you. I don't want anything to do with you. I'm so done Jaleia." He said walking away.

"Tyler-"

"Tyler what? What Jaleia what? There's nothing you can say or do to change my mind. Stay the fuck away from me and stay the fuck away from Mariah. Just fuck off." he turned away from me.

"Ty-"

"FUCK YOU! I'M DONE!" He screamed at me. He pinched the bridge of his nose just like He always does when he's stressed. "I wish it could be different but I just can't take the drama. I have to find my girlfriend now." He turned and walked away.

"Fuck you too Tyler." I said watching him walk away.

I just stood there, tears of anger falling down my face as I saw him walk away. What the hell just happened? How could he? I'm not the problem, I didn't do anything. I understand I probably shouldn't have pushed her but that bitch was fine and an extremely good faker. I just wanted to go home and forget that I just lost my best friend. I moved through the crowd looking for one of my friends but I didn't find anyone. Where the fuck was everyone? The gym wasn't that big. I walked over to where the food was, out in the hallway. I saw Robyn next to Kyle and his girlfriend who were arguing. That's literally all they ever seemed to do. I walked over to talk to Robyn when I heard his girlfriend Dana say

"I'm so fucking sick of you!" and threw a cup of punch at him but of course it doesn't land on Kyle. Guess who it lands all over...Me. My hair, face, and dress all had gotten wet with the red juice.

"You've gotta be kidding me! Of all fucking nights? Seriously?" I groaned in pure frustration. By then Kyle and his girlfriend had already stormed off.

"I am so sorry. Here's some tissues." Robyn said to me. I started to wipe myself down.

"You won't believe what just happened. Me and Tyler just got into a fight." I told her.

"Aww, I'll be right back I have to check on Kyle."

"Robyn! Seriously, I need you."

"You know how he is when he's pissed. I can't leave him alone right now! I'll be right back, I'm just checking on him."

She hurried off after him. That's great though. I get abandoned by two of my best friends and I can't find anyone else. So I walk back to the gym and sit down on the bleachers and start playing on my phone but my mind is not even there. I'm supposed to be laughing and dancing and having a great time, not covered in someone else's drink after my best friend basically says I'm not worth shit anymore. I really can't believe he took her side. Do I really mean that little to him that he can throw away our friendship just like that? Really? Is that really what everyone thinks? That I'm a jealous slut? I put my head down in my lap trying to control the tears. I'm more angry and pissed off than sad. After my birthday went so well? Mariah has a LOT of karma coming to her. And just like her karma's a bitch. A couple minutes later I feel a hand on my back.

"Jaleia." I look up to see Jesse sitting down next to me.

"Hi." I put my head back down.

"Hey, hey, hey don't do that. I wanna talk to you"

"I swear you must be the only person who does."

"Come on, I don't wanna talk to your hair, I wanna talk to your beautiful face."

"Oh please I'm ugly as shit right now don't even bother. I look like a hot fucking mess and I know it so there's no point in lying about it."

"Fine," he sighed "Can I see your face now? Please?" I looked up at him.

"Happy? And if you're here to talk about what happened then you can go back cause I don't want to talk about it." I told him.

"I'm not going to ask you that because I know you'll tell me when you want to, if you want to, and plus Tyler kinda already told me. But what I am gonna ask is will you dance with me?" He stood up and held his hand out.

"Jesse, thanks but it's been a really horrible night. I just wanna sit here and chill."

"Oh no you don't, sulking is not going to help you feel better. I'm going to ask you to dance because there's still an hour left to this dance and I want to have a good time. So I'm going to ask again. May I have this dance?" he asked holding out his hand.

"I'm also not going to take no for an answer." I put my hand In his and said

"Yes."

He lead me to the back of the dance floor. She will be loved by Maroon 5 was playing. He put his hand on my waist and I put my head on his shoulder. And we moved back and forth gently rocking to the song. Jesse sang softly in my ear along to the song.

It's not always rainbows and butterflies

It's compromise that moves us along, yeah

My heart is full and my door's always open

You come anytime you want, yeah.

I don't mind spending every day

Out on your corner in the pouring rain

Look for the girl with the broken smile

Ask her if she wants to stay awhile

And she will be loved

And she will be loved

And she will be loved

And she will be loved

I know where you hide alone in your car

Know all of the things that make you who you are

I know that goodbye means nothing at all

Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls

Yeah

Tap on my window knock on my door

I want to make you feel beautiful

I don't mind spending every day

Out on your corner in the pouring rain, oh.

Look for the girl with the broken smile

Ask her if she wants to stay awhile

And she will be loved

And she will be loved

And she will be loved

And she will be loved

[softly:]

I don't mind spending every day

Out on your corner in the pouring rain

Please don't try so hard to say goodbye

"You have such a beautiful voice." I said, looking up at him as the song ended.

"Thank you," he smiled, "But where do you think you're going?"

"The song is over."

"So? If you think you're going somewhere else after it took me five hours to get you to dance with me you have another thing coming." I smiled.

"I do?"

"Hell yeah you do! Come on we're gonna have a good tine. We're gonna dance and look like idiots but we doing it together, right?" he held out his hand again. I smiled and took it and he pulled me to the rest of the crowd. As we danced he kept his hands on my waist. There was some club dancing, some salsa dancing and some awkwardly idiotic dancing. We laughed and danced and I honestly forgot about everything that happened earlier. I ditched my heels a while ago. So I actually was groaning with the rest of everyone when they turned the lights on. The only sucky part of the night was when Tyler and Mariah won homecoming king and queen. But I went to the bathroom so that I didn't have to see them get crowned.

"Look at you. No one told me how turnt up you get when you dance. I told you we we're gonna have fun."

"I know and thank you for making me get up even though I was being difficult cause I actually shockingly had a fun time. Minus the obviously sucky part."

"Your welcome. Do you have a ride home?"

"Yes I actually have to go find Robyn and Kiara cause we're supposed to leave together."

"Okay, be safe. You know I'm always there if you want to talk. Good night." he took my hand and kissed it.

"Thank you and, trust me I'll want to talk. Good night." I gave him a kiss on the cheek. Then I went to find my friends.

[lessthanmacyalexis]

Texts || Dustin

Macy: I think the timing of us is just really fucking shitty.

Macy: We got together because I was jealous you'd slept with Jagger. I already knew I was about to dive into a million stressful things at work, I got assigned the band before I ever ran into you. I hadn't even finished my second masters yet. And your career is just starting.

Macy: And fate has to be trying to tell us something, with everything that's gone wrong since. Christ, I damn near feel like I did last January sometimes.

Macy: I'm so goddamn sick of keeping secrets especially when all they're fucking doing is hurting the people I love and risking destroying relationships. No secret I've ever kept has been good or ended up fine in any sort of fucking way and if I never have to keep another secret in my life it'll be too soon. And then everything seems to go wrong all at once like our lives are just some constantly recharging time bomb

Macy: But even though I feel like that I don't want to do what I did then. I don't even want to think about it. I want to tell fate to shove it up her ass because I am not losing you too and that she's taken e-goddamn-nough from me and she can't have my friends and she can't have you.

Macy: I also don't know if I get to tell fate what to do or if shit is already too late or fucking what but I fucking hate not talking to you and you're the only person I've even want to talk to about this so even though I know where nothing stands I'm just gonna text you this even if you don't reply or you've got me on mute or whatever fucking other possibilities their are

Macy: I was glad to hear you and Jagger made up. I'm so fucking sorry I put that in jeopardy. It's a goddamn horrible feeling, losing the people closest to you. Nothing quite like that level of being alone. God knows you're already as familiar as I am. Never, ever want you to feel like that again.

Macy: These texts are all over the fucking place, aren't they? I mean, the rest of life as we know it is up in the air, might as well jumble how conversations work anyways.

Macy: Point is, I don't actually expect you to forgive me for it. Dunno if I ever told you but when I was back in New York Sarah reached out, she wanted to make amends, apologize, we met up and I told her she could shove her apology up your ass. And the fact that I was nearly that for you is eating me alive.

Macy: Actually, I don't know if I have a point. Or points. I'm typing this as fast as it comes to mind.

Macy: Do me a favor, if that phonecall was supposed to be it and I just didn't get it just throw me on mute or block me or something, eventually I'll shut up but I don't think I could deal with actually saying goodbye to you

Macy: That's another thing eating me alive, that I don't know if that was the fatal fight or I'm just overreacting and every time I go over it, it's probably been like 20 times, it sounds more and more like a breakup each time and I can't get the thought out of my head.

Macy: But I actively can't tell if that's just me in my head again and aside from my therapist I can't talk to anyone but you about it but if it was a breakup you probably didn't fly out to vegas so you could talk with me about it

Macy: And I damn well know that it contradicts what you said about keeping us in your life but these are definitely special circumstances that should have never happened and it feels bad enough and i keep worrying that being with me is going to keep you from being able to be there for Jagger because he definitely still hates me

Macy: I feel like I have to learn how to breathe again now that things are kind of calming down except nothing is calming down at all the problems are just shifting now but at least I'll have more time to worry about them.

Macy: At the same time please don't let that have been a breakup because second to Julia you are the best thing in my life and I think we can get through this and things will turn around and god if we have to end i'd rather it be when we're old a gray and have a million grandkids running around because i kind of think you might be my soulmate

Macy: i mean i definitely do but we've barely been dating for two months now like it's officially been two month today and that's crazy to say that early

Macy: even though it's not like i just met you two months ago or started falling for you two months ago but it doesn't feel any less intense

Macy: but fuck, that kinda means 1/4 of our official relationship has been fightng bc it's barely been two weeks since that first fight. is that normal? I don't know how this shit is supposed to work just know I want to make it work

Macy: Full disclosure I'm probably a little drunk by now I cried in front of Julia for the first time ever and I remember hating seeing my parents cry and I never wanted to do that so now that she's in bed just sleeping on a pile of dogs it's wine-o-clock with me and meg and I know you're probably still fucking furious and don't wanna hear from me but I hate not talking to you so much and I can't do it tonight even if you don't talk back

[punkscowardschampions]

Ro & Ali

Ro: Hey! Tess has declared the hospital a no-go zone without saying any more, are you and the baby okay? Ro: I'm really worried Ro: Just hoping that you're both doing well Ali: I'm fine, we're both fine Ali: Don't worry Ali: There's just been...unexpected drama that needs to be dealt with Ali: but its not physical complications, both of us in good health Ro: Oh thank god! I've been praying since I first heard you two were off limits Ro: Anything I can do to help? Ali: Oh God Ali: I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Ro Ro: No need to apologise you've been very busy and had much more important things on your mind Ali: There's every need, but also, more than every chance that it won't mean or do anything Ali: I've got to tell you something and its going to change everything and I'm Ali: Well, you'll see how I could not regret or be repentant for anything more Ro: Ali, you're scaring me Ro: What's wrong? Ali: Fuck Ali: Shit Ali: Sorry Posy Ali: There isn't any way to break this easily, ask Caleb, and that's why the 'rents have kept you all away because its so surreal and a mess Ali: but, the baby Ali: its white, Caleb isn't the Dad Ro: Oh Ali: and I know who it is, there's only one person it could be and believe me when I say he is the LAST person I would ever want it to be Ali: it was once, and protection was used and so many other circumstances that now just sound like excuses from someone who's trapped into their worst betrayal Ali: its Drew Ali: I don't know what to say beyond apologising 'til my final breath Ro: Wait....what....no Ro: You're not saying what I think you're saying Ro: What I just read Ro: Because that can't have happened, it wouldn't have Ali: It did Ali: shouldn't have but it did, I did Ali: it should go without saying that you weren't together but how can it now, and I know it does next to nothing to make it better Ali: and I wasn't with Caleb either but these things don't matter now, to anyone, I know Ro: I can't believe this, I don't want to Ro: When was this? Tell me that he didn't come back to me as though nothing had happened Ro: And you didn't just let it happen Ali: Me either Ali: but its happening, and its too late to change it or stop it Ali: He did Ali: I did Ali: I don't know why, I had reasons I convinced myself were right and the best for you but Ali: I'm just a coward Ali: I'm so sorry that my fuck ups are flaws have encroached on and tainted your life Ali: more sorry than I am able to show now, with all this between us Ro: How could you?! Ro: You should've told me Ro: In your silence I was continuing to tell him everything Ro: Give him everything Ro: Not to mention you. We don't have secrets Ali: I don't know, I truly don't Ali: I can shout good intentions from the rooftops but look where we are, and I wasn't ignorant of the old adage beforehand either so Ali: it happened when I believed, you too, that you were over for good Ali: I didn't think he'd come back...then your last birthday happened and I Ali: I didn't say anything, because by Uni, I thought he'd be gone again, and it could really be over, or he'd fuck it up himself Ali: I didn't want to be part of the fuck up, it was beyond cowardly, I know Ro: Don't you understand how little the timing matters? He was my boyfriend, the first, and I loved him Ro: I would never date any of your exes Ro: Sisters don't do that, Ali Ro: It's bad enough that you did, but to never say a word about it until your hand was forced Ro: It's the lowest Ali: I know Ali: I know Ali: Is there anything I can do? Ro: How could there be? You betrayed me Ali: But we're sisters Ro: Are we? Ro: Even Bea wouldn't do this Ali: It was a mistake, a stupid one that lasted 15 minutes if that Ali: Please Ali: Please I don't want to throw away everything we have, all that time, over that Ro: That makes it worse! You don't even feel anything for him Ro: It didn't mean anything to you but you still went ahead with it, despite knowing the consequences for us Ali: It wasn't like that, it didn't just happen because I could, because I was bored or whatever else Ali: it might not have been love but it wasn't that Ali: I was at my lowest, Caleb wasn't being a Father, nevermind a partner, I had two babies on my own and Junior was so...difficult Ali: I was alone and scared and drunk and then Drew was just there Ali: and willing to console Ali: It doesn't make it right, of course, but I would never just do it with no reasoning at all Ali: I'm not looking to be excused or forgiven, not immediately but please give me some hope because I can't lose everyone over this Ali: Please Ro: I don't have anything to give you Ro: I have no doubt you were feeling as bad as you say and I'm sorry for that, but I can't offer you any consolation. I need it for myself Ro: Of course Drew was willing, we've all known that for a long time, but I was just as certain, until now, that you'd never cross the same line Ali: I'm not asking for pity, just the chance at redemption Ali: not today, but one day Ro: What exactly do you expect time to change in regards to this? I already know that Drew didn't love me, perhaps ever, but you were supposed to Ro: You've broken my heart Ali: I won't speak for him on anything, especially that Ali: I do Ali: You can love someone and still manage to hurt them beyond repair Ali: If only love protected us from that Ro: Ours did, for me Ro: Do you know what it's like being next to you? I told myself it didn't have to matter because you never saw me as less than, protected me instead of making a fool out of me Ro: But here we find ourselves Ali: You aren't less than! You never have been, you're incredible Ali: I didn't do this to make you look any sort of way Ro: To who? You've treated me precisely how he also chose to, like I don't deserve and can't handle the truth Ro: Whatever you meant I feel ridiculous, worse than Ro: I've never felt as if I'm just one of many stupid girls in a row until now, for all of Drew's faults Ali: Would you have listened to me? Ali: Because, you knew, you KNEW Ali: and why is my betrayal worse than his Ali: just because it was par for the course from him Ro: Because he isn't my sister! Ro: He'll never matter as much as you Ro: I knew what I meant to him, and I thought I knew what I meant to you Ali: It didn't change what you mean to me, I didn't think of it in reference to you Ali: Obviously, and that was clearly a horribly selfish and cruel oversight on my part that I can only say sorry for again and again Ali: but he isn't you, and he was never good enough for you Ali: however wrong it so obviously is in hindsight Ali: to me, it didn't even touch on you and us and what we have Ali: you're so much more than him, deserve more Ali: again my mistake for thinking HE would be decent enough to leave you alone after Ro: There's what you say and there's what you did Ro: If I deserve so much, why would you do this to me? Ro: Why wouldn't you tell me that it had happened, more importantly Ro: It would have been my choice what happened next with him Ro: Not his Ali: Okay Ali: I did it because I thought it'd mean you stayed broken up, and he'd leave you alone Ali: but of course, you're right, it SHOULD have been your choice Ali: I didn't have any right to try and take that from you, into my own hands Ali: I was just...sick of him treating you how he did Ali: but I only made it worse Ali: of course I did Ro: Yes, well....on that point I can relate Ro: Does he know about the baby? Ali: Yes Ro: And Caleb? Ali: He's gone AWOL Ali: obviously he saw it wasn't HIS but, he didn't give me time to explain the rest Ali: trying to get hold of him stll Ro: Would you like me to start searching? Ro: I won't tell him anything obviously Ali: Oh Ro Ali: it would mean a lot if you could, not just for me if that's off-putting but for him and his family Ali: he doesn't have to speak to me if he's not ready...as long as he's safe, it would be good to at least know that Ro: I know. He deserves to know as soon as possible and it's highly unlikely Drew will be putting in any leg work himself besides running in the other direction Ro: It's safe to assume that was his reaction anyway Ali: Agreed. Ali: That was pretty much the gist, yes. Ro: I know where he'll be too, another safe assumption, if you'd like to get in touch with him as well Ali: That's okay, I think he said all he has to say Ali: If he changes his mind, he knows where we are Ali: Got no right to ask but are you going to talk to him? Ali: For you Ro: No Ro: I can't Ali: Understandable Ali: you don't owe him that, as much as you owe me nothing too Ali: If its any consolation, he's not being logical at all currently so I don't think you'd get any sort of answer from him, even one you don't want to hear Ro: He's rarely logical Ali: Indeed Ali: Well, now you know, I'll leave you alone Ro: How? Ro: You can't go to Caleb's which means we live in the same house Ali: I know but I'll go in with Rock or take the sofa Ali: I promise I'll give you space Ali: and then, we'll both be gone, before too long... Ro: With a newborn? No. I'll go and you can go back to pretending I don't exist Ali: Ro Ali: Please don't Ali: Did I really make you feel like that? Ro: You didn't and that's why it hurts so desperately, because I clearly don't exist to you as a actually am, and I never knew Ali: That is NOT how I feel Ali: What you're taking from this and what you think it means about you Ali: is not what I think, or anyone else Ali: I know I can't make you believe that, I wish I could Ro: It doesn't matter, as you've said, we'll both be gone soon regardless Ali: but not forever Ali: we're still family, we always will be Ro: You've got a growing family Ali: They don't replace you Ali: There's room for us all Ro: I wish it was that simple Ro: That I could be the eager aunt I was at the beginning of this conversation Ali: but you were my sister first Ali: even if you can't be that Ro: I know Ro: But sometimes I can barely remember a time when Drew and I weren't tangled together and I thought I'd got my head around us being apart before discovering that you're complicit in us both being ripped apart and staying together Ro: I honestly believed nobody could or would ever come between us Ali: you and Drew? Ali: but Ro- Ali: he was never faithful Ali: I just don't understand why you stayed with him Ali: so much happened before this Ro: You and I. We're so connected Ro: And yet you'll never understand Ro: I'll never be able to explain it Ro: We have such different eyes on the world, don't we? Ali: Oh Ali: But I WANT to Ali: and I will always try Ali: I always have, haven't I? Ali: That has to count for something Ro: It does and I hope it will continue to do so, if I can figure out how to get across to the 'there' Ro: It's not even your fault, that's what makes it impossible to deal with, that it's just another of my faults Ro: I thought I'd have a fresh start approaching but how can there ever be one now? Ali: You are the last person who's to blame Ali: it isn't at all your fault, not in any sense or in anyone's book but your own Ali: and you're just not right there Ali: the blame lies at mine, and Drew's respective doors, no one elses Ali: I'm just sorry I couldn't keep the rest away from you all too but Ali: She's here, the baby is here Ro: Don't you see that it is my fault, though, because I couldn't kill the part of myself that didn't need him, no matter what I tried it was never quite weak enough for me to walk away instead of back Ro: It's my fault that I was stupid enough to believe that he wanted to be around me, with me, so I let him in, constantly, keeping him around instead of letting go Ro: So there he stayed and here we are Ro: There isn't going to be a goodbye any more, he's in your lives and therefore mine, forever Ro: I don't know what to do with the idea of that Ro: Especially once the illusion of him has been utterly shattered Ali: Well, he did want you around, he must've, whether or not that was in the way he sold it to you, not for me to say but as much as he (and I, not absolving myself here, just talking about his role in it all) did lie and cheat, it doesn't mean everything he did, everything you experienced with him, was a deception or wrong Ali: and I know that that fact is harder Ali: that it would be easier to discredit it all, instead of having to sort through everything yourself and second-guess and categorise, working out what it was, what it means for you and who you'll be Ali: Heartbreak is akin to grief in so many ways you don't fully understand until you're there Ali: I don't think I've truly been there 'til now, either Ali: He plans for it to be a goodbye. Ali: I would prefer it if he would get himself together and could be in her life, as much as I don't want him in MINE forever either Ali: but he has no plans as of right now, quite the opposite. Ro: We can't let ourselves believe that's the thing he'll choose to abide by Ro: For her more than us Ro: Can I see you, both of you, I mean Ali: Yes Ali: Of course Ali: You always can Ali: Don't bring any of the others yet though, please Ali: Not even Mum and Dad know the full story, just that she's white and Caleb is gone Ro: I won't, I promise, it just doesn't seem right, or real, that we're all alone Ro: This scattered Ali: I feel the same Ali: Deserved in my case but it doesn't stop it being terrifying and just Ali: Horrible Ro: Deserved in both of cases, but I don't want to be scared as well as everything else and I don't wish it on you either Ali: Agree to disagree but I call a ceasefire Ali: At least from me, and I'd advise for you too, if only so security doesn't throw you out Ali: Insult to injury when you're very much within the right and your right Ali: Thanks, Ro Ali: You're too good, and I've never been more appreciative of the fact than now Ro: Okay Ro: No, I've never been good enough Ro: You and I both know that Ro: But I'm still here Ali: One day you'll feel different, and see yourself how I see you Ali: but for now Ali: Me too Ro: I'm leaving now Ro: Anything you need me to bring before I slip out of home? Ali: I'm pretty catered for but could you bring a nightie, please Ali: I'm wearing one of Caleb's baggy tops and Ali: yeah Ali: Now I just feel wrong Ro: Yes, sure Ro: I understand Ro: Can I still bring the baby's gift or will it simply add to the feeling? Ro: Not technically for you so Ali: Exactly Ali: If you still want to, I shan't deprive the little one Ali: already enough bad energy she's having to contend with at my expense Ro: We should do a cleanse or something Ro: I know it's been a while since we did anything of that sort but Ali: I'd like that Ali: I need that, in fact Ro: Okay Ro: I can't pretend to feel differently myself Ali: It'll be a starting point for some much needed healing Ali: Not a miracle but Ro: I hope so