#But no lets just keep on screaming on the internet abt how everything sucks

[whoviandoodler]

oh the places we would be as a society if people stopped saying 'this thing is fake and stupid because it doesn't work for me/doesn't apply to me' and acknowledged that things can work for others even if they don't work for you (your experiences aren't universal dear god when will we all learn that just give alternatives without bashing something)

[lovingonrepeat]

sometimes i like to think of the little sexy secrets the boys have, like a day everyone was so horny and they jerk off together to porn. its their little secret and theyre so ashamed of it but theyd love to do this again bc yeah this is hot. the problem is... they all disagree abt the type of porn they want so each one of them has their turn and they get to see what turns them on... thinking of wayv hihi

HOLY SHIT ANON, YOUR MIND! ALSO I'VE PUT WAY TOO MUCH THOUGHT INTO THIS IN THE PAST HOUR SO HERE WE GO!

They decide that the fairest way to do this is to go in age order and go from oldest to youngest in picking videos. So that leaves Kun to go first and he's way too embarrassed to put anything he really wants to. He can't help but feel like there's so so many eyes on him and his dirtiest secrets, so even tho he has an exact video in mind that he knows will get him there so so fast, he chooses instead to search around and after he gets yelled at by the other members for taking too long, he finally plays something pretty vanilla but that isn't too embarrassing for him. It's good, but it's not earth shattering, and he knows he's definitely gonna need more than it to really get him where he needs to be to finally ease this tension in his body. But he's decently satisfied in his choice, and he feels like he might be able to look his members in the eye after all is said and done.

That is, until Ten's turn. Everyone had stayed more or less respectfully and awkwardly quiet during Kun's video, with everyone being too embarrassed and self conscious to really touch themselves, despite the ache they were all feeling. But when Ten snatches up the laptop and instantly starts playing a video full of edging and begging and the models in shibari, the tension in the room snaps.

They're not really sure who was the member to make the first move, but suddenly hands are stroking themselves and clothes are long discarded.

It's Sicheng's turn next, and he had been dreading it, but he swears his fingers move on their own accord as he searches for a video and finds one with a guy sucking on a girl's nipples. He has an oral fixation and you cannot convince me otherwise. The video plays and this time, they're sure it's Xiaojun that is the first one to let out a sound, a muffled groan into the back of his hand as the woman praises the man tending to her, and with that, it's not long before the room fills with more than the sounds coming from their laptop.

Xuxi gets the next turn, and he chooses a video with a close-up on a guy being instructed on how to finger his girlfriend to get her off. It's a crowd pleaser in the dorm.

Xiajoun's hands are shaky when it's finally his turn, and he doesn't even hesitate to search for a video that he knows he'll enjoy. Problem is, with the state he's in and his lust filled brain driving his actions, he completely forgets that the video is one that he has saved in his most secret folder of mommy kink videos. The room lapses into stunned silence as the pornstar utters the title for the first time, and Xiaojun swears that if the attention would've been on him for just a second longer, he would've came from the sheer embarrassment alone.

It's Hendery turn where things slow down. He is adamant that he wants to skip his turn, saying that he's just not that into porn, but Xuxi calls bullshit at the raging boner and sounds he's been letting out the entire night. Kun suggests instead that maybe he should be allowed another turn, arguing that he didn't realize the night was going to get this... Intimate, and demanding a redo where he gets to watch something he's into more.

But it's Sicheng that figures it out first, leaning over to ask a question in Hendery's ear that had his face paling and cheeks heating up. They jump on it, demanding Sicheng share with the rest of them, but he refuses, granting Hendery his last shred of dignity as he can feel the grip he has on his most shameful secret slipping away.

They start throwing out kinks left and right to try to find out his secret, with everything from omaroshi to a foot fetish to full on pet play being tossed around. But Yangyang is finally the one who gets it right, asking simply, "It's gay, isn't it?"

Hendery honestly doesn't think he's ever felt more embarrassed in his life than in that moment, as he types into the search and finally clicks play on a video of a guy giving another guy a handjob. Their own highs abandoned for a minute, they all watch intently, weighing in their heads if they're into it or not. No one verbally states an opinion except Xuxi, who leans over and tells Hendery that he made a good choice.

Hendery tries his best to zone out, ignoring his members around him and chase his own high, but he can't when he feels so fucking self conscious. He's shocked out of his thoughts when Ten taps him on the shoulder and asks him to stop touching himself for a minute. His brain hasn't even finished processing Ten's request when he all but screams, directing all attention to himself as Ten wraps his hand around Hendery's dick.

The video is abandoned quickly by all members but Ten as they turn their attention to the scene in front of them. But Ten pays them no attention, instead watching the video and trying his damndest to copy each and every movement exactly. Hendery cannot help but be sure that Ten has done this before, but he can't find it in himself to voice it.

Another debate breaks out when it's Yangyang turn, as they're not sure if they're really ready to know what kinda kinky shit their maknae is into. He argued adamantly for his equal treatment, but rethinks it immediately when they cave and he's actually expected to play something. It's obvious that he didn't think this one through, but they won't let him back out now.

Much to everyone's surprise, he plays a video with male orgasm denial, with lots of begging and edging, and Xuxi swears he's never discovered more of his own kinks in one night.

It's Xiaojun that finally ends up cumming first, as silently as he possibly could when the woman on the screen degrades the guy. Kun follows pretty soon after, with Sicheng cumming next.

It leaves Ten, Xuxi, Hendery and Yangyang left. Ten has abandoned his own quest for release in favor of torturing Hendery, and he can barely keep it together when Ten demands that he asks for his release the way the guy in the video does. Hendery can't bring himself to let everyone hear him beg, so he leans over and whispers pleas into Ten's ear, and Ten accepts it. Hendery's shot headfirst into his orgasm, followed by Yangyang. With Hendery's worn out body next to him, Ten goes back to chasing his own high, and it doesn't take him long at all to get there.

The boys barely register that Xuxi hasn't finished, too busy in their own afterglows until he lets a grunt escape his lips. Hendery notices right away that Xuxi is copying the video as well as he can, and so they wait for the video to end and for the man in the video, as well as Xuxi, to be granted the opportunity to cum. Yangyang can't help but wish he had chosen a video where the guy didn't get to finish, just to see what Xuxi would've done, but he won't bring himself to admit it.

They don't talk about that day again, or about how they notice when Sicheng stares too long at a woman's breasts, about how they notice the way Xiaojun gets weak when a woman is mean to him. Ten and Hendery don't mention the events of this day to each other again, even tho Hendery has so many questions to ask him about it, the most important of which being, "God can we do that again?" Xuxi is left with a confusing tangle of new revelations about his sexual preferences to unravel, and none of them can look Yangyang in the eye anymore when conversations start to take a sexual turn.

And Kun will never mention it to them, but he's secretly grateful that this whole event took place on his laptop, and cannot thank the internet gods enough for the wonderful feature that is the search history. He has definitely watched every video at least five times at this point, not that he'd ever admit it to anyone.

[kyanmaaaa]

hi last nights dream was cool but also fucking sucked

first i was in a really big house, then a college, then an amusement park/museum feeling kind of place, the shift between the three was gradual and at each moment they all felt like the same place so they mustve been different buildings

beggining was me playing a game with a bunch of other students in a group, it was basically a big conga line but i was at the front on a motorized chair and i was just yanking every body in the line ahead, which was fun, but the teacher kept correcting me that i was doing it wrong, too fast, not following the exact path, and i tried to listen but she kept correcting me and the corrections werent easy to make, til i wasnt having fun anymore

then i did another activity in a very pink room, something abt seperating people into 2 lines, but it couldnt hold my attention for long so i texted my mom to come pick me up and she said she was on her way

then the building shook, and the shaking got worse, and this part  of the dream is very confusing, cause im just exploring at first as i wait for my mom, and then we’re being evacuated, but we cant get out of the campus somethings wrong, and eventually the rooms spinning and the floor caves into nothing in places and im jumping like some kinda fuckin mario party game to avoid this and it looks exactly like a fucking party game but people are screaming and crying and scared and i watched people die. im still getting used to people in dreams having faces but these people all had unique voices too, i worked with some of them to  form plans on how to get out, what kind of buildings would be the sturdiest, trying to save the children, this is the point where everything feels like a really eccentric museum, each building is just, strangely themed, a train station hallway where no train will ever come, i text my mom about how im safe and she says she knows but it hurts that she never tried to contact me, i feel a distance, a replica of a treehouse, im just running, we’re panicked but people try to help but no group can stay together theres just too much going on, and then a teacher shepards my current group into a sturdy ass looking log cabin, sets the date for sometime early in 2006 in japan, and we go

and then we’re there, just a group of lost ass tourists on a random street in the past and i find myself thinking wow thats kinda neat, i always wanted to come here, i wish it was under different circumstances

cause for some reason we all know a tsunami is coming, and we’re lost in a new place, but its still better than the world caving in under us to nothing. our group just gets larger and larger and we’re crying for help but every window is already shut and closed (which i know for tornados at least is an important practice, u dont let people in once you’re locked up or you could die too) but we climb an apartment complex and some windows open, and people get let in, i wait for other people to go, a girl tries to calm me down by explaining different textures of hair and i figure out the internet on my phone still works but i just keep opening the same app on loop on accident, i just wanna google something i just wanna google something but my hands are shaking too much im too distracted and the girl whos trying to calm me down gets mad at me for misunderstanding. theres still half of us left at least, and we dont want to break the windows in, we dont know if those people are home we dont know anything, but i start singing and the area hushes, i dont know what im singing but its haunting, it echoes in the weirdly still area and im weirdly calm but still crying and i sing to get attention, get help, get a moments calm for everyone in all this, a few more windows open. when my voice gives in we take up chanting

and then i wake up