#But like a really long one its been going on for like a week or two and its only getting worse

[theetherealbloom]

The Things I Would Do, Just To Be Here With You

Summary: Amidst the whirlwind of movie premieres and busy schedules, you and Pedro Pascal, both thriving in your respective careers, find ways to celebrate each other despite the distance. While Pedro promotes Gladiator 2 in London, he longs for your presence at the after-party.

Or, you two would scream at the stars for keeping you apart... and the government too.

“Pedro Pascal x f!reader, Pedro is promoting Gladiator 2, and reader is in Wicked (Elphaba or Galinda of course!) for the screenplay of Wicked, and they are just really supportive of each other but also joke about their own movie being the best. Finding time to come to each other’s premiers. Posting behind the scenes or visiting each other.” — From @imaginemixedfandom

Paring: Pedro Pascal x F!Reader

Warnings: Established Relationship, TOOTH-ROTTING FLUFF, Slight Angst, Swearing, Anxiety, Surrounded by A-Listers, Cheesy Dialogue, Romance, Kissing, Real People Fiction, Red Carpet, Cameras, Paparazzi, Long Distance, Timezone Difference, Social Media, Interviews, I’m not a Spanish speaker, I might be wrong with the terms, please don’t come after me T^T,

Word Count: 4.4k

A/N: Ty @imaginemixedfandom for giving the idea! I didn’t really want to replace the reader with the cast of Ariana Grande and Cynthia Erivo. Those two are just too iconic. So instead I will make the reader a writer for the screenplay adaptation of Wicked tehe. You all should listen to brent iii by Jeremy Zucker and Chelsea Cutler, it’s absolutely one of my favorite albums of this year. Lastly, remember this is all fictional and for fun! Enjoyyyy my loves!

Side note: I’m dyslexic and English isn’t my first language! So I apologize in advance for the spelling and/or grammatical errors. As always, reblogs, comments, and likes are always appreciated. Thank you and happy reading!

Song: and the government too! By Jeremy Zucker & Chelsea Cutler

gif by @andrew-garfielld

| Main Masterlist |

NEW YORK, NEW YORK — EVENING

“Hi.” Your voice was soft as you nestled deeper into the duvet, your body cocooned in its comforting folds.

“Hola, mi amor.” Pedro’s face lit up on your phone screen, the warm timbre of his voice washing over you like a balm. “I miss you.” “I miss you too… so much,” you replied with a little pout. The time difference between London and New York was merciless. Between his packed schedule promoting Gladiator 2 and prepping for Fantastic Four, and your whirlwind of work with the Wicked movie premiere, your conversations had been reduced to stolen moments like this. Still, even through a screen, Pedro had a way of making you feel like the most important person in the world. “You look cozy,” he said with a lopsided grin, his brown eyes crinkling at the corners. “Meanwhile, I’m freezing my ass off here on set. I think my nose might fall off.” You laughed softly, the sound tinged with longing. “I’d trade you, you know. I’ll take the cold if it means I get to see you.”

“Don’t tempt me.” He leaned closer to the camera, his face filling your screen. “If I weren’t contractually obligated to be here, I’d hop on the next flight and show up at your premiere tomorrow. Red carpet and all.” You smiled wistfully, your fingers brushing against the edge of your phone as if you could reach through it to touch him. “You’d outshine me. Imagine the headlines: ‘Pedro Pascal steals the show at Wicked premiere.’” “Please. Everyone’s going to be talking about you. ‘Brilliant screenwriter dazzles Hollywood!’” He paused, his tone softening. “You’re incredible, you know that?” Your throat tightened at his words, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. “Stop, or I’ll actually cry, and my face will be all puffy for tomorrow.” He chuckled. “Okay, okay. But seriously, mi amor, I’m so proud of you. You’ve worked so hard for this.” “And so have you,” you countered. “The Gladiator 2 trailer broke the internet, and you still found time to send me flowers last week. You’re amazing, Pedro.” “Yeah, but flowers aren’t the same as being there with you.” His voice dipped, a hint of regret slipping through. “I hate being this far away.” You sighed, your heart aching in tandem with his. “Me too.”

For a moment, neither of you spoke, the silence filled with the unspoken tension of your shared longing. Then, Pedro’s grin returned, bright and mischievous. “So,” he said, leaning back in his chair, “who do you think has the better movie? Be honest.”

You raised an eyebrow, feigning offense. “Are you seriously asking me to compare Wicked to Gladiator 2? One’s a heartfelt, magical adaptation, and the other is a testosterone-filled epic. They’re different.”

“Uh-huh,” he teased, crossing his arms. “Sounds like you’re dodging the question. I knew you were scared to admit Gladiator 2 is better.”

You scoffed, sitting up straighter in bed. “Scared? Please. I just don’t want to hurt your feelings when Wicked inevitably becomes a global phenomenon.”

Pedro laughed, the sound rich and contagious. “You’re lucky I love you. Otherwise, this would be grounds for war.”

“Lucky? You’re the lucky one,” you shot back, smirking. “I’ll prove it when I finally see you in person again. But until then…”

You brought the phone closer, pressing a soft kiss to the screen. Pedro mimicked your gesture, his lips brushing his camera lens.

“Goodnight, mi vida,” he murmured.

“Goodnight, Pedro.” Your voice was tender, laced with all the love you couldn’t put into words.

As the call ended, you clutched the phone to your chest, a bittersweet smile tugging at your lips. Despite the distance, despite the chaos of your lives, you knew one thing for certain: Pedro Pascal would always be worth the wait.

NEW YORK, NEW YORK — MORNING

Today was the day. You were walking the red carpet for the Wicked movie premiere. A sea of celebrities, producers, fellow writers, and editors would surround you. The sheer magnitude of it all left you feeling both giddy and utterly petrified.  

You smoothed your hands over the silk robe you wore, your palms damp with nerves. While you loved the craft of storytelling, the spotlight had always felt daunting. You preferred to let your work speak for itself—a tendency that paired surprisingly well with dating Pedro Pascal, the literal human embodiment of charisma and charm.  

“There, all done,” Laura, your makeup artist, said with a satisfied grin.  

You blinked at your reflection in the mirror. Your skin glowed, your eyes were accentuated just enough to look striking without overwhelming, and your lips were painted a perfect shade of confidence.  

“You’ve outdone yourself,” you said, giving her a warm smile.  

“Of course I did,” Laura replied with a wink. “Big night for my favorite screenwriter.”  

Mia, your stylist, emerged from behind a rack of gowns, holding up the dress. “Speaking of big nights... Ready to put this beauty on?”  

You nodded, though your smile wavered. “I just wish Pedro were here,” you admitted, your voice quieter now.  

Laura and Mia exchanged sympathetic glances before Laura gently squeezed your shoulder. “You’re going to look incredible, and he’d lose his mind if he saw you. How about we take some pictures to send him? A little preview for the man himself.”  

You hesitated, glancing at your phone on the vanity. “I don’t want to distract him. He’s busy with interviews and set work. London and New York aren’t exactly next door…”  

“All is fair in love and war,” Laura teased, her giggle breaking the tension. “Come on, babe! If anything, it’ll be motivation for him to hop on the next flight.”  

Mia chimed in, smirking. “Or just to remind him what he’s missing. Trust me, teasing Pedro is a public service.”  

You laughed despite yourself, feeling the nerves lift slightly. “Fine, fine. But if he complains, I’m blaming you two.”  

They ushered you into the dress—a masterpiece of emerald silk and intricate detailing that clung perfectly in all the right places. As Mia zipped you up, Laura stepped back, her hands pressed dramatically over her heart.  

“Pedro’s going to lose his shit.”  

“You look like a literal goddess,” Mia added, spinning you toward the mirror.  

For a moment, you hardly recognized yourself. The reflection staring back radiated elegance and confidence, even if you didn’t entirely feel it yet.  

“Okay, okay. Take the pictures,” you relented, biting your lip as you tried to contain your grin.  

Laura grabbed your phone and started snapping. You struck a few playful poses, twirling and laughing as Mia adjusted the hem of your dress. It felt silly, but imagining Pedro’s reaction warmed your chest.  

Once the photos were taken, you grabbed your phone and hovered over the message screen. You debated for a moment, then attached the best photo and typed a quick message.  

You: Wish you were here. But since you’re not... Enjoy this. Don’t let it distract you too much, cariño.  

You hit send before you could second-guess yourself, the familiar swoosh of the message sending making your heart race.  

The reply came faster than you expected.  

Pedro: Distract me? How am I supposed to do anything now? You look like an angel. No, better than an angel. Drop-dead stunning. 

You couldn’t stop the grin from taking over your face.  

Pedro: Red carpet better be ready. They’ve got no idea who they’re dealing with tonight.  

The butterflies in your stomach multiplied tenfold. Before you could reply, another message appeared.  

Pedro: I’m so proud of you. Go knock ’em dead, mi amor. I love you.  

Your throat tightened, and you had to blink back the sudden tears threatening to ruin Laura’s hard work. You tapped out a quick reply.  

You: I love you too. Now go back to being the coolest man alive.  

“You okay over there?” Mia asked, watching you with a knowing smile.  

“More than okay,” you said softly, tucking your phone away.  

As you prepared to step into the whirlwind of the premiere, Pedro’s words echoed in your mind. Even from thousands of miles away, he made you feel invincible.  

Tonight wasn’t just about the red carpet or the glitz and glamour. It was about celebrating what you loved—and knowing Pedro would always be your biggest cheerleader, no matter where in the world he was.  

UNITED KINGDOM, LONDON — AFTERNOON  

Pedro sighed deeply, his head resting against the back of his chair. The steady hum of activity on set felt like background noise, the voices and clatter muffled by the ache in his chest. His fingers drummed lightly against his thigh, the motion absent-minded, a physical echo of the restlessness he felt inside.  

He missed you.  

It wasn’t the casual longing of someone who hadn’t seen their partner in a while—it was the kind of yearning that settled into his bones, heavy and persistent. A few hundred miles of ocean separated you, but it may as well have been an entire galaxy.  

He opened his phone and scrolled back to the picture you’d sent him that morning. The emerald dress, the way it hugged your form, the way your eyes sparkled even in a still image—it took his breath away. You looked like a dream. His dream.  

“If I were there right now…” he murmured under his breath, running his thumb over the screen as if he could touch you.  

If it were as simple as hopping on a flight, he’d already be on his way. He imagined the way you’d light up when you saw him, how you’d rush into his arms. He’d bury his face in your hair, inhale your scent, and hold you so tightly that he’d forget about the world outside.  

But it wasn’t that simple. The timing was off, as it so often was with both your careers in full swing. He was tied to the production schedule of Fantastic Four, and you were in the spotlight for Wicked. The universe seemed determined to keep you apart, and for the first time in years, Pedro felt the cracks in his patience.  

He closed his eyes, resting his elbows on his knees as he leaned forward. “Damn stars. Damn schedules. Damn… government,” he muttered bitterly. The laugh that followed was humorless, the frustration thick in his voice.  

If he could, he’d scream at the stars for conspiring against you both. Curse the invisible forces that made life so complicated. He’d barter with time itself, twist it and stretch it, just to have you here with him for a few stolen moments.  

He wondered what you were doing right now. Were you nervous about the red carpet? Did you feel as hollow without him as he felt without you? Pedro clenched his jaw, guilt gnawing at him. You deserved to have him there, to walk that carpet with you, to hold your hand and beam with pride as you took in the applause for your work.  

“Pedro, they’re ready for you!”  

The call from a production assistant jolted him from his thoughts. He blinked, the weight of reality crashing back down as he stood and stretched.  

“Be right there,” he called back, tucking his phone into his pocket.  

As he made his way back to the soundstage, he couldn’t shake the thought of tomorrow. The Gladiator 2 premiere loomed ahead, another milestone he should be celebrating with you by his side. Instead, you’d be halfway across the world.  

But one day, he promised himself, one day, nothing will keep us apart.  

NEW YORK, NEW YORK — EVENING 

The flashing lights were relentless, casting an almost blinding glow over the red carpet. The screams of fans and the constant click of cameras created a symphony of chaos, one you weren’t entirely comfortable navigating. You’d always preferred the quiet—curled up with a book, tucked away from the world’s prying eyes.  

But tonight, you smiled and posed alongside your cast and the production crew. You owed it to them, to yourself, and to the story you’d helped bring to life.  

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Winnie Holzman, the original writer of Wicked, leaned in with a smile, her eyes sparkling as she looked at the crowd.  

You nodded, though your voice was tinged with nervousness. “It’s incredible. Overwhelming, but in the best way.”  

“You’ve done amazing work,” Dana Fox chimed in, her excitement infectious. “We wouldn’t be standing here without your screenplay tying it all together.”  

Jon M. Chu, ever the cheerleader, clapped you lightly on the back. “Tonight’s your night too. Own it.”  

You laughed softly, feeling a little more at ease with their encouragement. Together, the four of you posed for the cameras, sharing a few candid laughs before heading closer to the press area.  

As you stepped into the spotlight for interviews, the questions started flying.  

“How does it feel to see Wicked finally come to life on the big screen?”  

“It feels surreal,” you answered, your smile genuine. “Everyone on this project has poured so much heart into it. To see it come together like this is... overwhelming in the best way.”  

“You’re known for being quite private. How are you handling all the attention tonight?”  

“It’s definitely out of my comfort zone,” you admitted with a small laugh. “But I’m surrounded by such a talented and supportive team, which makes it easier.”  

Then, inevitably, came the question you’d been bracing for. “We couldn’t help but notice that Pedro Pascal isn’t here tonight. Do you miss him?”  

The question tugged at something deep inside you. “I miss him so much,” you said softly, your expression softening. “He’s busy promoting Gladiator 2 and filming in London. I know he wishes he could be here, just like I wish I could be there for him. We’re both incredibly proud of each other, though.” You grinned, a playful sparkle in your eyes. “But, of course, Wicked is better. Don’t tell him I said that.”  

The interviewer laughed, and you followed with a wink before stepping away.  

AFTER THE PREMIERE  

As the credits rolled and the crowd applauded, you walked alongside Jon, Winnie, and Dana toward the exit. The night air was cool and refreshing after the heat of the theater.  

“You were glowing on that carpet,” Winnie teased, nudging you gently.  

Jon smirked. “Bet it’s because of a certain someone who couldn’t make it.”  

You flushed immediately, your cheeks warming. “Stop,” you mumbled, though your smile betrayed your embarrassment.  

“Oh, come on,” Dana added with a laugh. “You were gushing about him earlier. Just admit it—you’re head over heels.”  

You sighed dramatically, though your heart raced just thinking about Pedro. “Okay, fine. I miss him like crazy. I just—” You paused, glancing up at the stars. “I wish I could be there for him, you know? For his premiere. He’s always so supportive of me. It feels wrong not to do the same.”  

Jon stopped walking, turning to face you with a thoughtful look. “So go.”  

“What?”  

“Go to him,” he said with a shrug. “Take the jet. I’ll make the call.”  

You blinked at him, stunned. “You—you’d let me do that?”  

“Of course,” Jon said, waving off your concern. “You’re part of the heart of this project. If being with him makes you happy, it’s worth it.”  

“But I don’t have a ticket, and I need to pack, and—”  

Dana held up a hand, already pulling out her phone. “Relax. I’ll call a car, and we’ll pack together. You just focus on getting there.”  

Before you could protest further, Jon had already stepped aside, dialing someone on his phone. Dana grabbed your arm and started steering you toward the waiting car.  

“You’re really doing this,” she said, grinning.  

“I—I guess I am.” Your voice trembled with excitement and nerves. “What if I don’t make it in time? What if—”  

Dana cut you off with a gentle squeeze on your shoulder. “You’ll make it. And even if you don’t, just being there will mean everything to him.”  

AT THE AIRPORT  

The private jet was waiting for you, its sleek frame illuminated by the glow of the runway lights. You quickly texted Pedro’s manager and assistant, letting them know you were on your way.  

You: I’m coming to London. Please don’t tell him. I want it to be a surprise.  

The response was almost immediate:  

Franklin Latt: Got it. He’s going to lose his mind—in the best way.  

As you settled into your seat and the jet began to taxi, your heart raced. Seven hours separated you from Pedro, but for the first time in days, the distance didn’t feel insurmountable.  

You leaned your head back against the seat, clutching your phone tightly as you closed your eyes. You could already picture the look on his face when he saw you.  

Just hold on, Pedro. I’m on my way.  

UNITED KINGDOM, LONDON, ODEON LUXE LEICESTER SQUARE — EVENING

The energy in Leicester Square was electric. Fans filled the barricades, the roar of excitement nearly drowning out the camera flashes as Pedro made his way down the red carpet. Dressed in a sharp black shirt, the top unbuttoned, slacks, his signature charm, and a warm smile lit up every interaction as he stopped to greet fans and pose for photos.

The press area was bustling, and soon Pedro found himself standing in front of a journalist holding a microphone.

“Pedro, congratulations on Gladiator 2! How does it feel to be here tonight celebrating this film?”

Pedro grinned, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “It feels incredible. This is one of those projects you dream about as an actor, and to see it all come together, to see everyone’s hard work pay off, it’s… it’s a real honor.”

The interviewer nodded. “You’ve had an amazing year, between this and your other projects. But we couldn’t help but notice that someone special in your life had a big night recently—the Wicked premiere in New York. Did you get a chance to see any photos?”

Pedro’s face lit up instantly, a laugh bubbling out of him. “Oh, I did. Believe me, I did. She sent me some pictures, and I’ve seen the ones floating around online too. I mean… she looked absolutely stunning. Like, knock-you-out, breathtakingly gorgeous. I might be a little biased, but still.”

The crowd nearby caught wind of his gushing, and a few cheers erupted. Pedro laughed, scratching the back of his neck.

“Honestly, I’m so proud of her,” he continued, his voice softening. “She poured so much of herself into that screenplay, and to see her get the recognition she deserves? It’s the best feeling in the world.”

The interviewer smiled. “There’s definitely a lot of love and mutual admiration between you two. Word on the street is you’ve got a bit of a friendly competition going on—Gladiator 2 versus Wicked. Any truth to that?”

Pedro chuckled, his eyes twinkling with mischief. “Oh, it’s absolutely true. We’ve got a bet going. She’s convinced Wicked is going to sweep the box office, and I, of course, have complete faith in Gladiator 2. Let’s just say the stakes are high—winner gets breakfast in bed for a week.”

The interviewer laughed along with him. “That’s adorable. Who’s winning so far?”

Pedro smirked. “Let’s just say she’s got me a little worried. But I’ll never admit that to her.”

LATER, BACKSTAGE

Pedro leaned against the wall, sipping from a glass of water while chatting with Paul Mescal. Their conversation flowed easily, but Pedro’s gaze kept drifting toward the entrance, as if hoping for some sort of miracle.

“You’ve got that look again,” Paul teased, nudging him with his elbow.

“What look?” Pedro asked, feigning ignorance.

“The ‘I’m desperately in love and missing my girl’ look,” Paul quipped with a grin.

Denzel Washington, who had just joined the conversation, chuckled. “He’s not wrong, man. You’ve been staring off into space like a lovesick teenager.”

Joe Quinn walked by, overhearing the exchange and throwing in his two cents. “It’s cute, though. Very romantic. Someone should write a movie about it.”

Pedro rolled his eyes, though a bashful smile crept onto his face. “Okay, okay, I miss her. Can you blame me? She’s halfway across the world, and I can’t stop thinking about her.”

Frank, Pedro’s manager, stepped in, giving him a supportive pat on the back. “You’ve got it bad, buddy. But hey, it’s not a bad problem to have.”

Frank couldn’t help but smile to himself, already knowing what Pedro didn’t—that you were on your way. He could only imagine Pedro’s reaction when he saw you walk through those doors.

“Alright,” Pedro said with a dramatic sigh, “can we please focus on the fact that we’re here for Gladiator 2 and not my love life?”

“Sure,” Paul said, smirking. “But if she shows up, we’re all watching you lose it.”

Pedro laughed, shaking his head. “I’ll take that bet.”

Little did he know, he was about to owe a lot of people a round of drinks.

UNITED KINGDOM, LONDON, ODEON LUXE LEICESTER SQUARE — EVENING  

The crowd in the after-party buzzed with excitement, a mix of A-list chatter and glasses clinking. Pedro stood near Lux, their conversation about the night’s success lighthearted, though his gaze kept drifting toward the entrance. He wasn’t sure what he was looking for, only that the ache of missing you hadn’t dulled, even amidst all the celebration.  

Lux, sharp-eyed as always, caught the slight shift in his expression and smirked. “You’ve got that look again,” she teased.  

“What look?” Pedro asked, feigning nonchalance as he sipped his drink.  

“The one that screams, ‘I wish she were here.’” Lux nudged his arm playfully.  

Before he could muster a witty retort, Lux’s eyes darted toward the entrance, widening in surprise. “Well, speak of the devil…”  

Pedro turned, following her gaze, and the breath left his lungs.  

There you were, stepping into the room, your black silk gown catching the dim lights perfectly. Your hair, slightly tousled from the rush, framed your face with an effortless beauty that made his heart stop. Heads turned as you walked in with Frank, but Pedro didn’t notice anyone else.  

He froze, jaw slack, his mind racing to comprehend that you were actually here.  

“Pedro,” Lux whispered, amused. “Close your mouth before you catch a fly.”  

But Pedro couldn’t move. Couldn’t breathe. All he could do was watch as you walked toward him, the soft smile on your lips turning into a grin as your eyes met his. He vaguely registered Joe, Paul, and Denzel laughing nearby, but he didn’t care. You were here.  

When you finally stopped in front of him, your grin widened, and you quipped, “Sorry, I’m late. Traffic was terrible—there’s a movie premiere happening, and I—”  

Before you could finish, Pedro moved.  

He swept you up in his arms, lifting you off your feet as a chorus of cheers, whistles, and laughter erupted around you. You let out a surprised giggle, your arms instinctively wrapping around his neck as he held you close, burying his face against your shoulder.  

“Dios mío,” Pedro murmured, his voice thick with emotion. “You’re here.”  

“I’m here,” you whispered back, your fingers threading through his curls.  

He pulled back just enough to look at you, his eyes brimming with love. “I can’t believe this. You’re really here.”  

You smiled, tears threatening to spill as you cupped his face. “I couldn’t let you have all the fun without me.”  

Pedro didn’t hesitate. He closed the distance, kissing you with a fervor that made the entire room fade away. The kiss was deep, all-consuming, and when you finally pulled back, both of you were breathless.  

Your laughter broke the moment, and Pedro pressed his forehead to yours, his hands still firmly around your waist as if afraid you might disappear. “Thank you,” he whispered, his voice trembling slightly.  

“For what?” you asked softly, your fingers tracing the line of his jaw.  

“For being here. For being you. For… everything.” His voice was low, reverent. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I’ll never stop thanking the universe for it.”  

You kissed him again, a soft press of lips this time, and smiled against his mouth. “You don’t have to thank the universe. Just let me love you.”  

Pedro let out a soft laugh, his arms tightening around you. “You’re incredible, you know that?”  

“You’ve mentioned it once or twice,” you teased, resting your head against his chest as the room slowly came back into focus.  

From the sidelines, Joe nudged Paul, chuckling. “Think he’s gonna let her go anytime soon?”  

Paul smirked. “Not a chance.”  

Denzel clinked his glass against Joe’s. “Now that’s a man in love.”  

And Pedro? He didn’t care about the laughter, the cameras, or even the early morning call time tomorrow. For now, you were in his arms, and nothing else mattered.

[whore-ratio]

when I started hrt, I was so incredibly unsure. every day I was wracked with doubt and anxiety. here was this gaping hole in my chest, which by my measure was only growing, and I expected one little pill every day to fix it somehow. I was doubtful, but when I talked to my trans friend about it, they said the same thing: they weren't sure at first.

they took theirs experimentally at first, just to figure out if it was what they wanted. they told me it was like a fog lifted. I felt very foggy. I decided to try it.

I live in a state where informed consent is the accepted model of treatment. I scheduled an appointment to consult about it, heard out the risks and benefits, and I was sure my doubt had been evident to my doctor. I was also sure it would disqualify me somehow.

she told me to see her again in a month. I booked my next appointment three weeks out.

at that appointment, she simply asked me if I understood the risks, benefits, and overall effects of estrogen. I told her I thought I did. she asked me if I wanted it, and I said the same. I was practically waiting for her to stop me, to tell me I had to be sure.

she wrote me a prescription and I picked it up the same day.

ESTRADIOL 2MG SUBLINGUAL TABLET

I left the pharmacy in disbelief. my pharmacist had usually said the name of my prescription to me when handing it over. she didn't say anything this time.

at home I sat staring at the bottle for a while before opening it. then I finally got out one tablet and placed it under my tongue. looking back, I'm sure I did it wrong. I didn't hold it there as long as I should have, and kept moving it around by accident.

I knew it wouldn't change me overnight, but I still somehow expected it to: to wake up with a different brain, one that could feel everything deeply rather than drifting through each day in a dreamlike state and drifting into dreamless sleep each night. of course this didn't happen. it wouldn't, either.

the next day I felt worse. with each passing day it continued, as my desperation grew for this little tablet to do something, anything to me. I just wanted a *sign*. something to me feel like I wasn't headed for the edge of a cliff anymore.

but I was on 2mg sublingual daily. a weak dose, one that achieves essentially nothing without an antiandrogen. I didn't really know what dosages meant at the time. even so, I was happy to have estrogen in my body.

wait.

*I was happy to have estrogen in my body.*

even without knowing what it was doing, without seeing any of its effects, just by beginning to take them, I had already realized that I wanted to keep going. I wanted to keep putting estrogen in my body, and as soon as I began to understand levels and dosages, I wanted more.

several times I asked my doctor to increase my dose ahead of the recommended schedule, and each time she obliged, remarking that while it could be risky, my mental state was the more important consideration and it was ultimately up to me.

so I kept going up, always just a bit ahead of the curve. soon I was at the maximum safe dose on tablets. soon after, I switched to injections (I'm now on 6mg estradiol valerate per week) and started progesterone. I have never been happier.

there were many stages where I fully expected doctors to refuse to prescribe me, or change my prescription for, estrogen. I expected them to tell me I wasn't ready to make that decision, that I could only know with more therapy, or that I at least had to be able to tell them I wanted it without a hint of doubt in my voice.

but that's only because it's what I kept hearing from everyone else: that it's a decision to take extremely seriously, one with irreversible consequences.

but all it took was one tablet with far too small a dose to be effective, and already I was sure. maybe I always had been.

remember that while nobody chooses which hormone their body produces, they are *always* changing you irreversibly. the question to ask is not "am I really certain I want estrogen?", it's "do I like the idea of this better than staying on testosterone?" and if you still can't answer that but are curious, it's perfectly fine to just try it.

not every place has informed consent, but they should. if they don't, never be afraid to lie to doctors in order to get what you want. remember, the barriers to HRT were not put in place because of genuine medical concern, but because of transphobia. you deserve better, so do whatever you have to to get your hands on it, even just to try it, even if you're not sure. your body probably knows what it wants.

for whoever needs to hear this:

starting HRT doesn't have to be a huge momentous all-or-nothing decision. you can just try it like you would an antidepressant you've been informed of the risks of.

there won't be any immediate irreversible changes overnight. you can always stop, change your dose, change your delivery system, decide it's not the right time. you can even microdose if you want to.

you don't have to tell anyone. you don't have to announce it if you don't want to.

stop waiting for a perfect time in your life because it won't come.

stop waiting to reach a mythical level of certainty that never comes to anyone, for anything.

you've been thinking about it long enough. if you have the opportunity, just give it a shot. you're worth the courage it takes to make a change in your life.

[jeonstudios]

fontana di trevi | 02

you seek out a vampire to help you with something.

pairing: vampire!jk x sadgirl, blood donor!reader

genre: vampire au, angst, fluff (really a sadgirl fic lol)

word count: 9k

warnings: same as last time basically: blood, needles, suicidal thoughts and intentions

rating: NC-17 – Adults Only

masterlist

part 2/2

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© between takes is copyright jeonstudios. this fic can not be modified, re-posted, or translated without my permission.

“Thanks,” you smile politely as you close the car door, hearing the Uber drive off behind you. The walk up to the house is no different than last time, yet it definitely feels different. Both because of what happened almost a week ago, but also since you’re hoping this will be the last time.

What certainly is different is the surprised look on the vampire’s face as he opens the door to see you standing there with your hands in the pockets of your winter coat.

He himself is wearing a black hoodie, and once again, black shorts. His hair looks a little messier than how you’re used to seeing it. Almost like he’s been sleeping. Vampires don’t sleep, though, do they?

“I… didn’t think you’d show,” he admits honestly, nonetheless opening the door wider for you, and as you enter, you can’t help but think that he looks… almost cuddly.

Of course, he still gives off the usual intimidating aura, and he should probably be even scarier to you considering what happened last time you met him, but… you don’t know. Perhaps you’re just so deprived of human touch that a bloodthirsty vampire’s cold embrace seems inviting.

This time, he waits in the hallway while you step out of your shoes and remove your coat. 

“Yeah, I still want this. I just… wasn’t prepared,” you explain rather vaguely, knowing that he understands exactly what you’re getting at anyway. You want to die but on your terms.

“It wasn’t my intention. To do what I did.”

You meet his eyes. It’s not an outright apology, but it feels eerily close to one.

“You were there to… feed, weren’t you?”

He nods. “Didn’t get the chance to on Thursday or Friday.”

It’s your turn to nod in understanding. For a short moment, you stand there, looking at each other. 

Until you break the silence. “So, can we start?”

“Sure,” he agrees, turning around to head toward the kitchen.

Like the first time you showed up to his house when he didn’t think you were going to, he has to bring the supplies from wherever he keeps them. You take your spot at the table, slip off your cardigan, and wait.

The vampire returns with his hands full, placing the stuff down on the table before he pulls out another chair and positions it the same way as always. But his focus lies on your skin.

“These are new bruises?” he asks, carefully grasping your hand and very gently lifting it to better inspect the yellowing marks covering your skin. “You always bruise like this after?”

You follow his gaze. There are currently three bruises on your right arm, none the same as the night he almost killed you. Two are yellow and from when you bumped into a dresser at home a few days ago. The third is purple but smaller and its origin a mystery. If he wanted to see bruises, he should’ve seen the ones on your legs after you fell when he attacked you.

“Not the first time, but yeah. Usually just from the needle site, but lately, it’s all over. I guess I’m a little deficient in something,” you joke quietly, but the vampire doesn't laugh. 

“Why does it interest you so much? Do you have some kind of medical degree?” you ask, thinking back to when he first asked you why you didn’t wonder about his apparent knowledge.

“Not officially, but being dependent on humans like we are to some extent, you tend to pick up on stuff, and having been around as long as I have, it’s even more unavoidable. But I’ve never seen bruising this severe from blood loss.”

Fair enough. Your body should definitely try to keep the little blood remaining inside your veins, where it belongs. 

He starts prepping your arm, but instead of looking away, you close your eyes. Are you imagining things or has he been… softer lately? Making sure you got home safely instead of leaving you to your fate, almost worrying about your bruises, and being gentler in the way he attaches the needle? Then again, he’s only making sure you can give him as much blood as possible, and he also would’ve probably killed you if he’d gotten ahold of you last week.

“I take it you’ve killed before?” 

There’s a few seconds of silence, but then he answers, and there’s nothing hidden in his words or voice that reveals something more.

“I have.”

“How do you…,” you start, unsure of how to phrase your question. “I mean, what do you do… after?”

“Are you asking…?”

“How do you… dispose of them? And… I guess, how will you dispose of… me?”

It’s not really a sensitive question for you, so you’re not sure for whose sake you’re so careful. You doubt the vampire really cares.

You hear him exhale. “I guess it depends on the circumstances. I haven’t planned anything.”

You wince when he sticks you, more painful this time for some reason. The ball is placed in your hand like always, and you start to squeeze it.

Your curiosity isn’t that dire, so you’re not disappointed by his answer. Maybe he’s not even being honest, and it’s for your sake? Which brings you back to why he’s being extra gentle. The only other explanation you can think of is that he feels sorry for you. Maybe he just truly wants to spare you unnecessary pain and worry in the last moments of your pathetic life? Because this is it. With how shitty you’ve been feeling these last couple of weeks and especially since last time, you know it won’t be long. Today’s the day.

One bag. He can take one bag and after that he’ll have to end it. That way, you don’t have to bleed out, and he’ll get as much blood as possible. If he takes your advice about how to drain the rest, well, that’s up to him.

You’re startled by the sound of knocking, opening your eyes to see the vampire rise from his chair, seemingly sharing your surprise. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

Nodding, you close your eyes again, getting as comfortable as you can in the chair while wondering who’s at the door. A vampire friend? A vampire partner? Surely, he doesn’t hang out with humans on the regular? You always got the impression, both from him and vampires in pop culture, that they don’t really care for humans. In fact, a dirty human only pesters a vampire’s environment unless they’re actively dying.

Your heart hurts. It’s beating heavily inside your chest, a feeling you’ve grown somewhat used to over the weeks, but it feels undeniably worse. Like every beat is a painful and exhausting accomplishment. Your breaths grow heavier too. 

Surely, it’s been more than a minute. Is he on his way back? If he were a human, chatting with another human at the front door, maybe you would’ve heard them, but you can’t discern anything. 

It feels a little like your head’s in the clouds, and you’re not sure if your eyes are still closed or if they’re open and you just can’t see anything. You have a feeling that not only can’t you hear the vampire, you can’t hear anything anymore.

Realizing that this is it, you try to call for him quietly to tell him so, but although you’re pretty certain you’re dying, for some reason, you don’t want to interrupt whatever he’s doing with his visitor.

“Fine, alright, I’ll talk to him, but please, this is not a good time.”

“But he’s being an ass, and you were the last person he spoke to before he left for fucking Iceland.”

Jeongguk rolls his eyes at his friend, Yuqi. With how much she and Taehyung love each other, there’s a surprising amount of drama. 

“I don’t wanna get involved. I’ll call him later.”

“Fine, get back to me after. If he doesn’t answer, I’m taking the first flight.”

“Vampire?”

Yuqi, who was just about to turn around to leave, stops in her tracks.

“What… was that?” she asks, standing still before discreetly scenting the air. “Is that… blood?”

Jeongguk’s eyes widen. He’s used to smelling blood whenever you’re there to leave it, but not this much. Quickly, and without regard to Yuqi, he turns to rush back into his kitchen, eyes going even wider at the vision in front of him.

“Vampire?” you call out quietly again from the chair, eyes closed and unknowing of his return. You seem out of it, bordering on unconscious, and it’s not without reason. Jeongguk curses himself for not double checking the blood bag when he knows that brand is prone to ripping because the bag isn’t full; it’s broken, and your blood is dripping into a big puddle of red on the floor.

You think… you’re being… carried? By someone firm and… warm. You like that.

“I’m not warm," a low voice comments. "At least I’m not supposed to be.”

“I’m dying… right?” you mumble, feeling how the vampire puts you down on something soft.

“Probably, yeah.”

He does something to your arms, and you can’t figure out what, but you realize it has something to do with collecting the remaining blood when you’re gone.

There’s another voice.

Next time you open your eyes, you feel… different. And upset. You’re not as dizzy as you’ve become accustomed to, and the room doesn’t spin when you sit up on the bed. Your body hurts, but it feels more like you’re simply tired and beat than extremely weak. Most importantly, you feel, which means you’re not dead.

As if he could sense your awakening—or just possesses superhuman hearing—a door opens to reveal the vampire. He's wearing other clothes, grey sweatpants and a black t-shirt, and his face doesn't give you anything.

“What happened?” you question, looking around the room that’s clearly a bedroom. “And where am I?”

“You passed out. There was a hole in the bag, so the blood was just leaking onto the floor. I had my friend steal some from the hospital, and I gave you a transfusion. Yuqi also brought some clothes and stuff for you, so you’re staying here at least until tomorrow. Then you’re free to leave whenever you want.”

“I… don’t understand. Why would you—why not just let me go then?”

“I changed my mind.”

You look at him, bewildered and trying to find the words. “What do you mean you changed your mind? We had an agreement?”

“I know, but I changed my mind. I’m not doing it. If the blood matters to you, the bags are in the freezer.”

“Why–what would I do with blood?” you question in frustration. Is he offering it back in case you want to drink it? Try to put it back inside your veins? Apparently, you’ve already had transfusions, so you have exactly zero use for frozen bags of blood. “Why can’t you just get on with it? Why not let me die?”

“I do not. Want. To,” he hisses.

You stare at him in silence, feeling confused and betrayed. He looks away but doesn't seem affected. No shame, no regret, no anything but a moment of frustration to breach otherwise calm determination.

“Here’s the stuff,” he gestures toward a duffel bag by the foot of the bed. “You have a bathroom right outside, and I’m gonna order some food for you. You should take it easy; I wasn’t able to give you as much blood as you really need, and unfortunately, what I’ve previously collected isn’t fit to give back. Since it’s been frozen and stored improperly for that kind of purpose, there would be a risk of clotting.”

You look at him from where you’re sitting on his bed, and he looks back at you. The irritation you feel grows beyond what you’re capable of conveying, and so it turns into defeat. It makes you angry, how he managed to back out of giving you what you wanted at the very last second. You spent months upholding your end of the deal, and when it finally came time for him to do the same, he didn’t. 

“Don’t bother,” you lie down slowly, your back facing him where he stands at the door. Silently, you curse your body for feeling so tired; ideally, you’d stomp out of there, slamming the door behind you. “I’ll leave tomorrow morning.”

Your own clothes are still wearable. The few stains of blood are relatively small and dried, and the vampire already placed you on his bed, so you don’t feel like you’ll do any more damage by sleeping in them. The house is quiet, but you don’t think he’s left it, which begs the question of where he is. And also if he sleeps and if he does, then… where? He never gave you a tour or anything, so you have no idea what the rest of his house looks like. Whatever; you don’t care, anyway.

His sheets smell clean, though, and it doesn’t take you long to pass out, truly exhausted.

When you wake up, you can’t find your phone, and without any other time measuring device, you don’t know what time it is. It appears like the sun rose not too long ago so that narrows your guess a little bit at least.

Sitting up slowly, you take a deep breath. You feel… okay. A bit sore almost, but more energetic than you have in a while. Unfortunately, it’s not necessarily a good thing in your book.

Sighing, you put your feet to the hardwood floor. They carry you with only a little dizziness, and you set your sight on the bedroom door. It opens smoothly, and you peer out, looking for the bathroom the vampire mentioned. There’s a door immediately to your left which you guess must be it, and so you head toward it. 

After successfully finding the bathroom and using it, you decide to continue the search for your phone. Since you thought last night would be your last and therefore arrived by Uber rather than driving, it means that without your phone, you have no way home.

You make your way down some stairs, recognizing the hallway as the one the vampire has led you through what feels like countless times. Last time you remember having your phone was in the kitchen, so that’s where you steer your steps.

As luck would have it, the kitchen is also where the vampire happens to be. Upon your entrance, your eyes immediately fall on the tall man where he stands, leaning back against the counter. Although he surely heard you approaching a long time ago, he only turns his head slowly toward you when you’re well into the room. He’s hard to read; doesn’t offer much.

“Do you know where my phone is?”

The vampire twists his body to look at the counter behind him, sliding something toward you. You take a step closer, inspecting the device when it’s in your hands. Three percent.

“Do you have a charger I can borrow?”

“Yeah,” he answers with a nod and pushes off the counter, leaving the kitchen. You wait, quietly wondering what exactly goes on inside his head. He seems unfazed by the whole ordeal, which doesn’t necessarily surprise you. But what you still don’t quite understand is why he claimed to have changed his mind. Could it be that he just didn’t want to deal with your body? 

The vampire returns with a white charger in his hand, his skin cold against yours when you accept it from him. Finding a fitting outlet near the table, you plug the charger in and sit down, gazing out through the window while you wait for the phone to charge enough for the trip home. The vampire has gone back to leaning wordlessly against the counter, and you ignore him.

Opening your phone, you find that the only unread notification you have is a spam email. Why are you surprised? With a small sigh, you lock the device again, hoping it’ll charge faster if you don’t use it. Forty percent should be enough.

It’s snowing outside, and you watch the big snowflakes fall slowly and silently to the already white ground. Waiting like this gives you time to go over all the things you’ve done wrong in your life.

Next time you unlock your phone, the battery has reached thirty-seven percent. You open the Uber app to see that a car can arrive in ten minutes. You confirm it, noting the time as eleven twenty-three. You’ll wait five more minutes before you start getting ready, which honestly is just putting your shoes and coat on. 

The seconds pass slowly one after the other. You wonder briefly how long it took the vampire to clean because, although you didn’t notice the blood dripping to the floor while it was happening, you understood that there was a lot of it. Must suck for him to have it wasted like that. The question is also why he would waste even more blood by giving you a transfusion? If he went through the pain of acquiring bagged blood, why not just drink that?

At eleven twenty-nine, your phone’s battery is at fifty-two percent. You unplug the charger from the wall, and as you stand, you place it on the table with a quiet ‘thanks.’

“Going home?” the vampire wonders, black eyes watching you. He looks casual, but there’s that hint of softness shining through again. 

You pass him on your way to the front door. “Yeah.”

“Reconsider,” he encourages, and you know he’s not talking about your journey home. 

You roll your eyes. “No.”

“Yes,” he follows. “Whatever’s troubling you doesn’t matter. There’s so much for you to see and do, so many places to visit and people to meet. Your life is so incredibly short, and you won’t have time to see even a fraction of the world as is.”

“Thanks for the pep talk,” you say, bending down to put your boots on.

“Have you even been outside of this town?”

Why is he trying to control you? He doesn’t know you; he doesn’t care. It’s not like you’ll magically be fine after his ‘cheer up, pal,’ and ending your life is not a decision you have taken hastily or easily.

“No.”

“Don’t you want to see what’s out there?”

“Of course. But it’s not…” you straighten up to look at him, frustration dripping from your words. “Don’t you see that I’m all alone? I don’t have anybody, no one to experience things with, and much less the money to just up and leave. Sure, maybe I could get a loan and travel through Italy for two weeks, but then what? I’ll be miserable and in debt.”

The vampire tilts his head, looking at you with his black eyes but not saying anything. He just doesn't understand. You put your other foot into your boot and reach for your coat before he can try to persuade you again for whatever reason.

“Whatever,” you sigh, “I’ll be going.”

He doesn’t stop you from opening the door, and he doesn’t follow you when you leave, one boot undone and with your coat held to your chest. Irritation turns to sadness and defeat as you wait for the Uber to arrive, taking the opportunity to actually put your coat on and tie your laces properly. Snow falls around you, and when you're done, you stand there, waiting pathetically by the side of the road in the cold. You’re back at square one.

Despite having slept for countless hours at the vampire’s house, you head straight for your bed the moment you return home. For another few hours, you sleep, and then you spend a few more lying there in the dark, thinking. 

It’s seven p.m. on a Saturday. You’ve wasted a lot of time, months even, waiting for the vampire to get what he wanted and follow through on his part. But that’s over now, so what are you waiting for right now? 

Two and a half hours later, you put your boots back on and throw a lighter jacket over your shoulders, one that allows easier access to your neck.

Still not feeling your best, it takes you fifteen minutes to walk what the vampire did in six, carrying you on his back. You don’t understand him. He acted like he didn’t want you to die, but if he cared about you at all, he would’ve backed out earlier and not waited until his actions brought you within an inch of your life for what, the third time? Was he hoping you’d stay alive so that you’d hopefully continue donating your blood, even if less frequently? 

Although nearing his feeding grounds, you’re hoping not to run into him. He did state that he changed his feeding days to Thursdays, and last week, when you did run into him, it seemed like a coincidence. Besides, this place is your best bet tonight; even the vampire admitted that there were others there last time. Surely, they’re around here somewhere tonight as well. 

Since you assume vampires don’t want unnecessary attention, you stake out near the same club as last week, but this time, you hide in the shadows around a corner. Then, you wait for a victim.

Thirty minutes to midnight, a woman stumbles out through the door, a bouncer holding it open for her. She’s obviously had a bit to drink, and as she clumsily fixes her little cross body bag and sets off along the street, you look around from your hiding spot.

But you don’t see or hear anything; not a dark figure moving nor the sound of footsteps. Still, you follow her, hoping for the best. Wanting to keep your distance, you instead find it hard to keep up with her, which is saying something about your current health.

About two hundred meters from the club, she suddenly slows down, her attention seemingly drawn to something in an alleyway. You weren’t sure exactly how the vampires hunt, but by how the woman begins to slowly drift inside the dark alleyway of her own accord, you guess they do have some kind of pull. Most women, even when slightly drunk, typically try not to do… that.

You quicken your steps as much as possible without breaking into a sprint. Not only do you want to speak to a vampire; if you can take that woman’s place and leave her unscathed, it’s an added bonus. Before you’ve caught up, the woman slowly and quietly disappears, and when you turn the corner with your phone in hand and flashlight turned on, you spot a man holding her to his body. 

Evidently hearing you approaching, the man has placed them against the wall, halfway obscured by a dumpster and hoping you’d walk past them, which you would have if you weren’t so focused on the woman and your mission.

The man squints in the light, and you very clearly discern long fangs. You take another step into the alleyway, but what you didn’t expect was to be grabbed from another direction. 

Gasping, you feel strong arms hold your back against someone’s chest, effortlessly keeping you immobile. 

“What can we offer? Though you smell like vampire already?” The man who holds you says, sounding surprised, and your phone is taken from your hand and the flashlight turned off. 

Obviously, they assume you’re one of the freaky ones looking for vampires because any normal person would run. Your reason for wanting to find one is different, though. 

“I have a proposition,” you stutter, not too scared but uncomfortable with how the man noses at your neck. Despite knowing that if the vampire bites, it’ll most likely be your neck, you can’t help trying to pull away. It’s just another bodily reaction. 

Your words intrigue him, and he moves, creating just a tad bit more space between your bodies and looking down at you with a curious smirk.

“A proposition, you say?”

“You can have my blood—all of it—if you take it right here and now.”

“What’s the catch?” he asks, raising an eyebrow much like a certain vampire you know. “What’s in it for you?”

“There is no catch. I want to die.”

The other vampire, curiously listening to your conversation, whispers something in the other woman’s ear, and lets her go. She stumbles away from him and then casually leaves the alleyway, turning the corner calmly as if nothing happened. 

You meet the vampire’s puzzled yet curious eyes. “There’s nothing wrong with my blood if you think I’m trying to trick you into something. Except that it’s apparently B positive which I understand is not that desirable, but—”

“You’re Jeon’s human?”

“Uh—what? Who?” you ask, confused but slowly putting two and two together.

“Fuck, should we?” the other vampire questions quietly.

“Jeon,” the closest one to you starts, “is the vampire you smell of. He’s been very persistent no one touches his human.”

“Yeah. Can’t blame him. If I was lucky enough to have someone offer to be a walking blood bag, I wouldn’t let them outside at all.”

“I’m not… I’m not anyone’s, and I’m not a walking blood bag,” you explain, feeling belittled. “He made me a promise that he broke. He was going to help me die in exchange for my blood, but he just used me to collect blood, and then he didn’t deliver.”

The two vampires look at each other, and you feel like they didn’t really pay attention to anything you just said.

“I don’t know, man. I’m not sure I wanna get on his bad side.”

“But he’s too arrogant,” the first one complains. “If I want something, why should he prevent me from getting it? He doesn’t own the supply here. I’m a thousand years old; I shouldn’t need to ask for permission.”

“Dude’s like three thousand years old, though? You don’t need to ask permission; you can literally choose anyone. Except this one, for some reason. I don’t think I would if I were you.”

“Our agreement is over,” you try to enter the conversation the two vampires are holding over your head.

“Well,” the one holding your arms peers down at you, “He said that under no circumstances is anyone allowed to touch you.”

You scoff, growing irritated again, “Okay, well, are there any vampires around that aren’t such wimps? If I can’t find anyone to just snap my neck, I’m going to the train tracks and then my blood will be wasted.”

That’s a lie, of course. There’s a reason you picked death by vampire; you’re too scared to do it any other way, and no matter how much you want to die, you can’t subject anyone else—like a poor train driver—to it. Vampires are cold and heartless. They don’t care.

“Hold on. Wait,” the vampire holds you tighter when you haphazardly try to wiggle out of his grasp.

“Look,” he says to the other, “He can’t tell us what to do. Besides, if he gets angry, we can just say that she said their agreement was over, and we did her a favor out of the goodness of our hearts.”

“You don’t have a heart; you just want to annoy him.”

The vampire grins. At first, it’s a boyish smile directed at his friend, but when he slowly tilts his head down to look at you, it turns almost sinister. “I think I’m gonna do it.”

You gulp. No matter how much this is what you want, it does scare you. Mostly because you’re afraid it will be painful.

“Is there a way you can kill me first? I don’t want it to hurt.”

The smiling vampire shakes his head. 

“No.”

You thought death was supposed to be a void. A void of darkness, devoid of physical matter, emotions, and thoughts. But it hurts. It hurts so much. 

Then, a void does take over.

Jeongguk knew you’d try again. If he wouldn’t kill you, you were going to find someone who would. And despite hoping that you would’ve changed your mind, he was unfortunately right. He spent an hour roaming the dark streets around the town’s attempt at a nightlife, but he didn’t come across you. Not until he visits the same place where you first found him, a place he wouldn’t take as your first choice since you ran into him there a week earlier. 

He’s spent hours and hours these last weeks with you on his mind; the little human who wants to die so badly. It’s just something about you and your willingness to die that doesn’t sit right with him, and you won’t leave his thoughts. It’s not his business, he told himself as he saw you curled up and unconscious in your car. Who is he to tell someone what they should do with their life? If anything, respecting your wishes and consuming freely donated blood is easier and more ethical than taking it from plastered people who aren’t really sure what’s going on, right?

The scenes replaying the most in his head are more recent. It’s the way you suggested he kill and butcher your body, saying no one would look for you anyway, and how you called for him, unknowing that your blood was dripping to the floor but still trying your hardest to squeeze that ball for him. Your fingers were barely moving, but you tried since he wanted that blood. 

He’s not entirely sure what he’s doing, trying to convince you to live, but he guesses that he simply needs to know that you experienced some good things in life too. He can’t let you end it this way, as a lifeless body, discarded somewhere where no one will find you.

Anger, frustration, and an odd feeling of helplessness flood him as he takes in the sight of the vampire in the process of draining you dry. He rushes into the dark alleyway, the vampire looking up from your neck just as Jeongguk strikes. There’s not much of a fight after that. The first vampire stumbles backward, and Jeongguk grabs your lifeless body from him as the second vampire approaches, eyes wide and with his hands raised shoulder height.

“Easy, man.”

“I fucking told you to leave her alone.”

The dazed vampire grumbles something, but Jeongguk doesn’t pay him any attention. He places your body down on the snow-covered ground and looks at your pale face while searching for a pulse right under your jaw. 

“She wanted to die.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Jeongguk growls. “How much did you take?”

There is no pulse.

“At least three fourths. Possibly more.”

Jeongguk shuts his eyes. There’s no coming back from that.

You’ve lost and regained consciousness due to blood loss one too many times by now, but this time, it really feels different. Opening your eyes, the sunlight filling the room irritates your eyes, forcing you to squint for a few seconds. 

Without moving, you focus on something. The vampire. Jeon, was it? You watch as he rummages through his closet, practically soundlessly, taking out a few items and looking them over before settling on what looks like two black shirts, one long-sleeve and one short-sleeve. Then he digs out a pair of shorts and another pair of sweatpants. 

You’re not used to seeing him in direct sunlight, but now, the rays filtering through the half-opened blinds paint him in a new light, and you let your eyes linger on his arms as he folds the clothes. The green t-shirt he wears is doing a great job at highlighting his veiny, muscular forearms as they work. Light and shadows play along those very defined muscles, accentuating them further.

Your first impression of him was a cold one, one that slowly warmed a little over time both physically and mentally. But in this light? Without even touching him, he looks… warmer to you. Inviting, almost like when he wore that black hoodie. 

You sigh quietly and pull the blanket that’s thrown over you closer. The vampire hears and turns around, placing the clothes at the foot of his large bed.

“Hey. How are you feeling?”

You take a moment to consider his question. Though you’ve certainly felt better in a lot of ways, you don’t feel the way you’ve come to associate with severe blood loss. 

“Cold. And tired, but in a weird way.”

Weird is probably the best way to describe how you’re feeling in general. You feel light, but not weak. Tired, but not sleepy. 

He nods understandingly, “It’ll pass.”

You catch his gaze, holding it for a quiet moment. “You changed me, didn’t you?”

It’s the only explanation you can come up with. That vampire was hungry, and you remember slowly losing control in his grasp, both over your body and consciousness. With how many near-death experiences your body has endured in the last weeks—all blood loss related—there just wasn’t any chance you’d survive another draining.

“Yeah.” He looks away, sitting down on the edge of the bed. “I couldn’t…”

You think you understand well enough what he’s trying to say, although you’re not too sure of his reasons or how to feel about it. He couldn’t let you die. In a way, you’re disappointed because you were finally getting what you wanted, and dying has proved itself to be surprisingly difficult for you. 

But you’re not angry; not like you were after the vampire saved you the first time. He mentioned once that not even vampires are immortal, so at least you know that you’re not doomed to an eternal life in suffering; you can always try again if you want. However, you’d be back at square one when it comes to options, but you don’t really feel the urgency anymore. At least not at the moment.

He turns his head toward you, meeting your eyes with his deep, dark ones. “Let me show the world to you.”

Surprised to say the least, you mumble a quiet “What?”

He angles his body further toward you, and you see that despite the softer look on his face, he’s certain. “I want to show you everything the world has to offer. All the good things; the magical places and people.”

Not sure what to say, you just stare at him.

“Vampires are not immortal,” he continues. “If you really don’t want this, I’ll help you die. I promised. But please, think about it. No catch, no expectations.”

“But why… Why would you want that?” 

You’ve been alone for so long, unable to keep people around and interested, so why would this being be?

“Because I found that I really didn’t enjoy draining you of your life, especially when you were already so low to begin with. I want you to get the chance to experience the good things life has to offer, and I can’t help but want to be around when you do.”

“You don’t know me though.”

“I kinda want to,” he says, standing up with the cheekiest smile you’ve ever seen on him. “Think about it, okay? I’m not expecting anything from you other than that you consider.”

Still very much processing his words, you feel a cold shiver wreck your body, something the vampire notices.

“I’ll get you another blanket. Your body is still in the process of changing, and with that comes a decrease in temperature. It’s normal to feel cold.”

He’s about to leave when you call for him.

“Wait. What… What's your name? Your given name?”

He stops, and he smiles again. “Jeongguk. And I know yours already; it was on your door.”

You sleep for a little while longer, but when you start to feel better, you also start to think. You’ve been so certain for so long, and you still are—you think—but… either way, you’d like some answers; a clearer view of the whole picture.

“Jeongguk?” you call, unsure how loud you need to be. It feels strange to use a name for the vampire.

It doesn’t take long before the door opens. “Yeah?”

“I have some… questions.”

He nods, stepping into the darkness that is his bedroom and closing the door behind him. 

“Light sensitive?” he nods toward the window, where you’ve pulled the curtains closed over the blinds.

“Yeah… Is that normal?”

“It is. So is feeling sensitive to sound, touch, smell; basically all the senses. But it will pass pretty quickly.”

“Okay. Well, can you… tell me everything about being a vampire? I didn’t think you slept, but you do? Or why do I still sleep?”

He rounds the bed to sit next to you, and you feel it sink as he gets comfortable. Slowly, you turn to face him, watching him lean back against the headboard.

“So, basically, we can do all the things humans do. For instance, you’re still programmed to breathe, but it’s more of a habit and a way to smell than a means of survival.”

While he speaks, you try it. It’s strange, holding your breath and not feeling that strong, strong urge to take in air after a while.

“You can eat human food, but it’s not what sustains you, so most vampires don’t. It gets kinda boring after a while; you’ll see what I mean. Most also don’t sleep as they consider it a waste of time, but you can if you want to. I do pretty regularly. I find it… peaceful, and when you get older, it can be nice, getting a break between days.”

Hearing him talk so casually and almost… softly has you smiling slightly, unable to help it. So he had been sleeping when you knocked on the door, and his hair was all messy, and he looked so cuddly? You don’t know why, but you like that thought.

“You can exist in sunlight, you can consume garlic. Mirrors work for us as well. We don’t age like humans, but we can die if we’re pierced through the heart by something wooden—”

“—You mean staked?”

He looks at your wide, amused eyes and rolls his. “Yeah. Staked. Anyway, you’ll notice that your senses are heightened, and you’ll become stronger too. Not stronger than me, though,” he grins. “As for the blood, you can survive on any.”

“Any?”

What does he mean by that? Human and animal?

“Human, animal, vampire,” he says, the last one surprising you.

You blink, taken aback. “Vampires drink from other vampires?”

“We can. It’s not as common as feeding on humans as it’s mostly… a pretty intimate thing to do.”

“Oh, okay.” 

Thinking about it, you guess you can see why. Having someone so close, feeding on you without the power imbalance of prey versus predator that feeding on humans entails, must feel… intimate. More of a give and take. 

“You’ll need to feed in about a day or two, so you can choose. I have more human blood than just yours as it might be weird to drink your own blood, and I can get animal blood if that feels easier. Or… if you want to, you can drink from me.”

You look at him questioningly. “Didn’t you just say that it’s an intimate thing?”

He shrugs. “Yeah, but if it would make for an easier transition for you, I don’t mind. I’ve taken a lot of blood from you, after all.”

“Okay,” you nod, briefly biting your lip. “I’ll think about it. About all of… this.”

Is death the thing you wanted above all else, or was it to get out of the life you were living? Now that your old life is, in a way, over, you’re not sure. Regardless, there are other worries still plaguing you. You look—almost stare—at his pretty face. 

“What?”

You bite your lip nervously again. “What if you change your mind? I’m assuming this was quite a rushed decision on your part. What if I don’t live up to your expectations? I barely knew how to navigate this world as a human, there’s no way I could… manage on my own as… as a vampire.”

Say you decide to give it a shot; what do you do if he grows tired of you?

“Changing someone is not something we take lightly. We don’t…” he looks around, seemingly searching for the right words. “We don’t change anyone if we’re not prepared to guide them, at least through the first years. Usually, vampires only end up turning their romantic partners, so for most, it means staying together for life. Regardless, it’s a big decision.”

Noticing your wide eyes, Jeongguk smiles and chuckles. “I’m not saying you have to hang around me for the rest of your life, and I won’t ask you to play my wife or anything, but I won’t abandon you.”

It’s surprising enough to hear that vampires not only regularly fall in love with humans but take changing someone so seriously. But you’re even more surprised to hear him use the word ‘wife.’

“Your wife?” you ask, truly bewildered that word was even in his thoughts. “You said vampirism doesn't make you much prettier?”

He looks at you like you’ve grown another head. “It doesn’t. But you didn’t need to become prettier anyway.”

“Oh, come on.”

“I’m telling the truth? Don’t you remember what I told you when I carried you home that night?”

‘You’re a pretty girl, you know?’

Of course you remember, but it doesn’t mean it was true.

You roll your eyes. “You were feeling bad for me.”

“Hm,” Jeongguk looks away, thinking. “Okay, do you remember the very first thing I said to you?”

“That you weren’t going to turn me?”

“For sex, yeah. But I said I’d still fuck you.”

The smile he gives you reminds you more of the vampire that took your blood once every fortnight than the one who saved you. You don’t know what to say, and he seems to realize that, his smile turning softer.

“Like I said, I would’ve fucked you because you were pretty even as a human. Also, about luring said humans in? You will not have a problem with that if that’s something you’re interested in. I kinda want to see you do that, actually,” he grins, sending a shiver down your spine. “Hot.”

Jeongguk is sitting spread out on the rented apartment’s low couch, reading the back of a bottle of red wine when you pass him. It’s hot—a lot warmer than what you’re used to from your little hometown—and you sigh as you open the door to the balconet wider and fresh air starts to play with your dress. The weather doesn’t affect you like it used to, but some aspects are still more enjoyable than others. 

“I think I like Rome,” you place your hands on the railing, looking down at the scene two stories below you. It’s just after ten p.m., and people are dining outside the restaurant below you, their happy chatter accompanied by the romantic sound of street musicians. The air is humid, and besides the moonlight, the street is mainly illuminated by lights from the restaurant and surrounding shops.

You hear Jeongguk put the bottle down on the glass coffee table and stand up, something your human ears wouldn’t have picked up.

“We can stay longer if you want,” he offers quietly from right behind you.

Turning around, you let your gaze travel over his white dress shirt, held together by two single buttons—the rest lazily unbuttoned—and exposing most of his drool-worthy chest. He smirks, looking down at you, and you’re hit by how he hasn’t changed that much since you first met him in that alley. You’ve just gotten to see more sides of him.

You hold your breath, carefully reaching your hand out to pinch the fabric of his shirt between your thumb and index finger, pulling a little on it and nodding.

“Then we’ll stay,” he smiles, slowly stepping back and taking your hand softly in his. His skin feels warm against yours, and it’s almost like some sort of electric current courses through you. You grin as he pulls you toward him, moving to the slow and sensual music drifting up from outside.

Jeongguk lifts your hand above your head and twirls you. It makes you smile even wider, and you decide to place your arms loosely around his neck. He doesn’t object, just looks down at you, still smiling. 

One thing you'll never get used to is how handsome he is. Soft, black hair parted across his forehead, dark eyebrows and eyes, and a dimple that pops out when he smiles. One day, you’ll kiss his nose, you promise yourself. He looks so carefree, peering down at you like nothing else really matters; a mindset not too difficult to follow with him.

“How come everything is so… easy?”

He tilts his head, trying to make sense of your words as he places his hands on your waist. “Well… do you feel cared for?”

You think about it. All the new people—vampires—you’ve met so far are very funny and kind. They see you, and they listen to you. Especially Jeongguk’s friends, and even more so, Jeongguk. He’s easy to be around, and he’s been incredibly sweet to you, understanding that you’re going through a big change and that your previous life wasn’t all that great.

So you nod.

“Do you have anything that worries you?” He continues. “A looming anxiety regarding something?”

“No.” Turns out that Jeongguk and all his friends are filthy rich and also very generous, which means that you have no rent to pay, no stuff to buy, or bills to pay. Nor do you have people to impress or time-sensitive achievements to stress over.

Jeongguk’s smile turns extra cheeky. “Do you perhaps… also care a little bit for someone?”

You’d blush if that was something you could do. “You’d like to know, wouldn’t you?”

He chuckles before he turns a little more serious. “Jokes aside, there could be many reasons. Like I said, not feeling lonely or overly anxious surely helps a lot, but also stuff like… the change of scenery and seasons. But also…”

“Also…?”

He looks at you with a searching gaze, as if he’s trying to figure something out. “Tell me, did you ever see someone about how you felt?”

You shake your head.

“So you never got a diagnosis or medication?”

“No.”

“Then, maybe… you weren’t ‘only’ sad, and vampirism corrected some chemical imbalance in your brain. It could also explain why things are easier.”

Maybe. You thought that your mother dying was the catalyst for your sadness, and without seeing the point of the world, you got “weirder,” and the few people in your life withdrew. Then it was just you, and no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t connect with people anymore. But maybe, like he said, it wasn’t ‘only’ feelings. A small part of you wishes you would’ve tried to get help, but a bigger part—although sad for the years you spent suffering—thinks this ending might be better.

He continues to sway your bodies, and you rest your head against his chest. When you left with him three months ago, one month after he changed you, you weren’t entirely certain where things would lead, because despite definitely feeling attracted to him, you didn’t really know him. But as the days pass, you don’t regret it, and you’re pretty sure you’re more than halfway to head over heels. You can’t deny that he gives you butterflies.

Sighing, you catch the scent of his naked skin against your cheek, reminded of something.

“You smell good. I remember thinking that you didn’t smell like anything?”

He laughs as you move your face slowly over his chest and up to his neck, smelling him.

“Do I?”

“Yeah,” you say, breathing him in and closing your eyes. There’s the same notes of laundry detergent, soap, and cologne, but also something unique to him. He doesn’t smell like a human, but… almost. It draws you in, that’s for certain.

“Are you hungry?” he wonders quietly. 

“Not sure,” you answer honestly. It’s turned out to be harder to tell than you imagined.

“Well, if you want it… go for it.”

“Like this?” you ask, pushing on his chest with a smile. He lets you walk him slowly back toward the couch, and when the back of his knees hit the edge, he sinks down onto it. 

“Mhm,” he hums happily.

High on the vampire equivalent of adrenaline, you straddle his lap, only to be caught off guard by his scent again. “No, but really, you smell so good.”

He chuckles. “Vampires who are more… compatible tend to smell good to each other.”

His revelation has you sitting back, curious but almost a little worried. Despite the details of your relationship being... a bit unclear—mostly due to his unwillingness to pressure you, you think—you can't help but want him to like you. “Does that mean that I smell good to you as well then? I mean, I remember that you didn’t like my blood?”

“You smell incredible to me. Almost addictive,” he reveals quietly, softly, resting his hands on your thighs, and you think your human heart would’ve raced. “And about your blood… I lied.”

Though grinning happily, there’s at least a trace of regret in his eyes.

“You lied? About not liking my blood?”

“Yeah. B is actually one of the more highly regarded blood types. I’m also B, but negative.”

You shake your head at him before carefully leaning in. With a soft touch of your lips, you locate the pulsating artery in his neck, gently angling his head away with your hands. Then, as you’ve done regularly for the last months, you pierce his skin with your fangs.

“I’m kinda surprised you still believed I didn’t like your blood,” he continues, though it sounds a little strained, like he’s trying to keep still. “If I didn’t like your blood, I wouldn’t have needed to change my feeding days to the day before you came. Nor would I have tried to attack you.”

You listen to his words, but you’ll have to process them better later because his blood is pretty much the only thing on your mind. His blood and his body. It took you a few times to get over the mental association with blood and drinking it, but now, it’s not something bad. It tastes and feels good, energizing you in a way food just doesn’t anymore. And it’s a chance to bond, making you feel closer to him. 

He likes it too, if his body language is anything to go by. You know he tries to stay still to give you the best chance to get what you need without distractions, but the little… almost purring sound that reverberates from somewhere deep in his chest is hard to miss. As is the way his hips shift almost unnoticeably, but you haven’t spoken about that.

Being smaller and recently changed, you don’t require nearly as much blood as he does, and as soon as you feel the urge filled, you run your tongue over the wound to close it, just like he’s taught you to.

“Good?” he asks when you pull back, and you nod, licking your lips. 

You keep your eyes on his skin, knowing that it only takes a second for the wound to heal but up to two weeks for the scar from another vampire's teeth to fade to nothing. 

“All of the vampires we’ve met, they’ve looked so… amused when they understand I drink from you. Why is that? I get that it’s ‘intimate’ but they were pretty much all couples, weren’t they? Not that we’re… you know…”

You haven’t spoken about that, either, really.

It confused you, more so since you last week stumbled across a local couple smiling very cheekily when they saw the scar on Jeongguk’s neck that he’d made absolutely no effort to conceal.

He laughs. “It’s because only I have marks.”

You look puzzled. Yeah, sure, but you don’t understand why that would be amusing.

He looks at your confused face and continues. “The fact that you drink from me but not I from you usually means that I’ve submitted to you. That I belong to you. Which is not very common when I’m so much older than you. It’s usually the other way around if anything.”

“Oh,” you exclaim quietly, lifting your hand to your neck. “Should I…? Do you… want to feed from me? Cause I’m not sure that I…”

You don’t like the idea of losing blood. You know that Jeongguk has said that as a vampire, you quite literally can’t run out, but you don’t like it. Thinking about someone biting your neck has images from the night you died flashing before your eyes. You don’t remember much,  but you remember being scared and how much it hurt. Surely, it would be different to let him bite you, but… you don’t know. You can’t help but feel like maybe you should? Don’t you kind of owe it to him?

“I want to, of course I do, but not that badly. I get that it’s an uncomfortable concept for you, so that’s why I haven’t brought it up. If you ever feel comfortable enough, we can try, because it’s very hot, but otherwise, it doesn’t matter.”

You lower your hand, smiling carefully down at him. He runs his hands over your thighs softly.

“So, you’re really just… ancient?”

“Excuse me?” 

“Yeah? You’re literally older than Jesus?”

He rolls his eyes, still smiling.

“Jokes aside, doesn’t it get boring? You were kinda grumpy when I first met you.”

“Truth be told, it does. I’ve seen everything, mostly even many times over. But getting to see everything with you is like getting to experience it for the first time all over again.”

“That’s kinda… cheesy,” you chuckle, but you can’t deny that it makes you feel warm inside. “Yuqi said you probably needed a change of scenery as well.”

“So what if it’s cheesy? It’s true," he grins, and it's your turn to roll your eyes. "And, yeah, she might’ve been right. I guess vampires get lonely too sometimes.”

Although he's still smiling, you can't help but hurt a little, thinking about him feeling lonely too.

“So then, what’s next?" you ask. "When do we leave for Portugal?”

“Depends on when you want to. I’ll just tell Taehyung we’ll meet them later. As for now, you know Fontana di Trevi?”

“Yeah?”

“Wanna take a dip?”

“What? Isn’t it pretty shallow? And probably… illegal?”

“What are they gonna do? Stop us?” He smiles a wide, happy smile, his white fangs almost glimmering in the romantically dimmed light.

<previous | next> author's note: i hope you liked it!! please reblog if you did <3<3<3

[roosterforme]

Aim for the Sky Part 27 | Rooster x Reader

Summary: Bradley is required to travel for a week, and both you and he are exhausted. He's hoping this will mean fewer deployments in the future, but in the present, he's going to need to remember where his responsibilities lie.

Warnings: Angst, adult language, lactation kink, body image, fluff, smut, DILF Roo

Length: 3900 words

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader

Aim for the Sky masterlist. This was written to accompany my series Is It Working For You? along with a bunch of my one-shots and other series, but it can be read on its own! Check my masterlist for the reading order.

Once again, your parents extended their stay to spend more time with Rose, but when they finally flew back to Maryland, it felt strange to be on your own with your daughter. You and Bradley fell into a regular routine once more, but it took him days before he came clean about being stressed out. When he got home late from work to find you on the couch feeding Rose, you could tell by the set of his shoulders that he'd had a long day.

"Can we talk about some things?" he asked, bending to untie his boots. You'd been wanting him to confide in you for days, but you were already exhausted again from the late night feedings and had pushed the comments Bradley made to Jake to the back burner.

"What's on your mind?" you asked, secretly pleased that he leaned down to give you a long, needy kiss, complete with his big hand on your neck, before kissing Rose as she ate. It had been a few days since you and he were intimate, and your body was already responding to him as he dropped down on the couch next to you.

"Can we just move to La Jolla? Nothing stresses me out when we have copious amounts of champagne and oral sex."

You laughed at his unexpected response as he ran his rough fingers along Rose's fuzzy hair. "Don't forget about the seafood platters."

"Sweetheart, I'll never forget about the seafood platters," he promised, turning to look at you as his head sank back against the couch. "Your mom and dad are serious about moving out here."

Your smile started to fade away. "Yeah, Roo. They are. And I thought you were pleased by that fact."

"I am." His brown eyes remained fixed on yours. "I am. I told you I was. I want them close, but not too close. Like, I don't want them next door where they can hear me call you my filthy little slut or something."

"Bradley," you said, laughing again as he took Rose in his hands to burp her.

"They don't need to know the ins and outs of how you call me Daddy while you're gagging on my cock either." He kissed the baby on her forehead. "Sorry, Nugget. I'll teach you one day how babies are made, and you'll probably cringe the whole time."

You sighed and reached for Bradley, cupping his jaw in your hand and stroking his mustache with your thumb. "My parents are seriously getting their house ready to sell. So just give it to me straight."

He nodded. "I don't want them over here all the time, okay? I love them, I really do, but they take over our house when they come. And even though we finished the attic so they could have a place to stay when they're here, Rosie can move her bedroom up there when she's older. So it wasn't a waste of time since the contractor saw your tits."

"It was a photo of my tits! I didn't just whip them out for him to see!" Now Bradley was laughing as you said, "It sounds like you're worried about having some boundaries if my parents become our new neighbors."

"Yes," he replied, nodding as you ran your fingers along his jaw. "That."

"I'm sure we can have a conversation with them and address all of your concerns." Rose seemed to be done burping, and you were treated to the view of Bradley cuddling your four month old against his chest. "Now, can you tell me what else made you have a bad day at work?"

"What makes you think I had a bad day?" he asked, placing soft kisses on Rose's cheek. "I could never have a bad day when I get to come home to my girls." You sighed as he ran his nose along her hair and inhaled deeply before he met your gaze. "Okay. It's not the end of the world, but Mav informed me that I need to take a trip to the Naval Airstation in Fort Worth. I don't really have any details yet."

"Okay," you replied softly, finally voicing what had been on your mind. "Well, maybe Rose and I can come with you for a few days? I can't remember exactly how much vacation time I have left, but it could be fun. And you did say the next trip should be for the three of us to enjoy together."

Bradley shrugged and immediately said, "Fort Worth in August? Baby Girl, it's going to be miserably hot. I know you, for some reason, miss the east coast humidity, but this is going to be gross. Ask Jake about it, he's from that ridiculous state."

You couldn't believe how quickly he shut it down. "It was just an idea," you mumbled, watching him snuggle the baby. "So you wouldn't have to miss Rose the whole time while you're away."

His head tipped back as he sighed. "I'm taking this new position so I can hopefully deploy less often and be here more later on. Even if I have to start working longer days, a week or two away from home is nothing compared to five months."

You bristled. "I understand that, Roo. We've talked about this so much. But maybe try to be a little bit more patient with the idea of my parents moving here so I can have a support system when you're busy?"

When you stood and rushed toward the bedroom, Bradley was right behind you, hand reaching out to grab your shoulder while he still held Rose tight. "Are you mad at me?"

Your stomach roiled with irritation, annoyance and disdain. You hated when you got like this, because he was the one who could bring out the best and also the worst in you. "I don't know."

-------------------------------

You were kind of quiet at home. Bradley hated it. You were a bit more vocal during sex, but that certainly didn't make him feel any better about the rest of it.

"I have my dates for Fort Worth," he informed you when he strolled in from work with some yellow flowers and a new book for Rose. Today was important to him. He wasn't sure you'd remember why, but he still wanted to acknowledge it.

"When?" you asked, continuing to make dinner while he looked around for the baby. "She's napping in her crib," you added, seemingly knowing he always wanted his daughter nearby.

"Second week of August," he replied. "So, pretty soon. But just for a week." You nodded as Bradley walked closer, and he realized what you were cooking. "Marry Me Rooster?"

"Yeah." Your voice was soft as you looked at him over your shoulder. You were also still wearing your khaki uniform, and he could tell you were tired. He was tired, too, but he wanted things to feel more natural around here again. He didn't want to accept that this was just how things would be now when the two of you were taking turns getting up with Rose all the time.

He wished he hadn't made such a fuss about your parents, because he really did love them, and it would be nice to have some help occasionally. And now he felt like you were continually annoyed with him, and he had to figure out a way to fix this.

Your voice broke into his thoughts. "It's kind of a special day?" 

You sounded unsure. Like you thought maybe he didn't remember. But a smile immediately found his lips, and he gestured to the flowers. He should have known you'd remember. You remembered everything. You just made him a seafood platter to celebrate Carole's birthday the other day.

"I proposed two years ago." You visibly relaxed at his words as you took the flowers in your hands. He stroked the diamond ring on your finger as he said, "I couldn't wait another minute after I found this in the storage unit. I needed you to wear it. I needed you to say yes." You melted into his arms, and he kissed your forehead. "Can I go ahead and propose something else right now?"

You nodded and hummed, lips brushing the scars on his neck. "I'm just happy you remembered."

"Sweetheart, I remember everything," he promised. "And I propose that we plan a trip for the three of us before the year is over. We can go anywhere you and the Nugget want."

Your eyes lit up as he cupped your perfect cheek in his hand. "I have so many ideas, Roo."

"I knew you would. Can I make another proposal?" When you raised one eyebrow, he whispered, "How about we mess around before Rose wakes up?"

He was already wrapping his arms around you, turning you toward the hallway when you said, "But what about dinner?"

"We'll be fast," he replied confidently, turning off the stove burner.

"You're never fast! You like to linger!"

"It's a new era, Baby Girl. The mom and dad era. I'll learn how to be quick so we can finish before she wakes up."

This was the closest thing to a true quickie Bradley had experienced in a long time. Maybe ever. You were pushed up against the wall just inside the bedroom, belt jingling with your pants down around your thighs. He was going hard at a nice, steady pace with his hand inside your bra. Your warm milk dripped between his fingers and along his palm as he whimpered. 

"Oh, I love this so much," he whined as his other fingers found your clit. "I'm not happy about making this quick. I might need more later."

He could already hear Rose getting restless in the nursery down the hallway, her soft cries ramping up as Bradley slammed his cock into his wife. He wanted to make sure he got you off before he was done, but then you went and said something so hot, he knew he wasn't going to be able to hold on much longer. 

"I could always nurse you later if you want."

When he came, his vision flooded with dizzying color. Bradley lapped your milk from his hand, moaning your name as his hips eventually slowed. Rose was wailing now as you bent down to pull your pants up, cum dripping down your inner thighs as you looked at him with a little grin.

"I take it you're interested in my offer."

"Absolutely," he rasped, pulling his pants up so he could go say hi to his daughter. "If I ever say no to your tits, something is definitely wrong, Baby Girl. That would be your cue to take me out back and finish me off." You laughed when he said, "Happy engagement anniversary. I'll go take care of the Nugget."

-----------------------------

"When's the wedding?" you asked Jake as you dropped your tray next to his at lunch. He was eating the most delicious looking burger and a slice of pizza, and your soup and salad looked pitiful next to them. Seemingly no matter what you did, you'd stopped losing weight since the baby was born, and right now you were so exhausted, you couldn't even think about starting an exercise regimen.

"We've been engaged less than a month," Jake drawled, shoving some of the accompanying fries into his mouth. "Maybe some of us can wait a little longer to get hitched than your husband could, Angel." You rolled your eyes dramatically at him, but you were fighting a smile. "I'm trying my best to make sure that everything is in order for Jeremiah, if I'm being honest."

"Like what?" you asked, blowing on a spoonful of your soup.

Jake heaved a deep sigh, dragging a fry through ketchup. "He already calls me 'dad'. His speech was delayed, but it was still one of his first words, probably because I was around so much. I want to make sure Cat's ex doesn't get any rights, and if that means I need to hire another legal team before we get married, then so be it."

Tears stung your eyes as you patted his cheek gently. You knew you were lucky that you and Bradley were together and that he would do anything to take care of his child, but right now you were just so happy for Jeremiah. "He's such a sweet kid, Jake. And you love him so much."

"I do," he replied before taking an enormous bite out of his burger. You let him chew in silence while you picked at your lunch. Right now, you really wished Bradley was here, but the chances of him showing up were slim when he was out shadowing Maverick again. He was leaving in a few days for Texas, and you were feeling pretty emotional. It would just be you and Rose at home for a whole week by yourselves.

"Well, if you're looking for a nice venue, I know a good parking lot."

Jake barked out a laugh. "There's too much sentimental Bradshaw bullshit in that parking lot. No way I'd be allowed to get married there."

Then Cat showed up, and Jake's attention immediately shifted to her. You poked your salad around on your plate, wondering why you were so damn tired. You still had four more hours of work to get through before you had to pick Rose up and make dinner. Maybe you could just get pizza. But you shouldn't. But it sounded so good as you watched Jake eat his. But your hips and belly were already so big, you couldn't let yourself.

Your afternoon was filled with checking code that someone in Annapolis had entered, and they'd done a really shitty job. When you left your office, your eyes were tired, and you could feel yourself caving. You ordered a pizza and picked it up on your way home with Rose. Then you ate half of it on the couch while you fed her. And when you were done, you really wanted to cry, because you didn't know why you couldn't control yourself right now.

"I'm starving," Bradley groaned when he walked in. "You got pizza?" he asked, shoving two slices stacked up on top of each other into his mouth and moaning. Then he dropped down onto the couch and polished them off while you switched Rose to your other side. "I need to remember to pack my dress blues for Fort Worth."

"Why?"

Bradley shrugged and reached for the next slice. "Apparently, there's some sort of reception for the aviators that are selected for Top Gun in the fall. I don't know how much sway I'll have, but I'm really hoping I can pick some good ones for the next generation of the program since I'm aging out."

"You're not aging out, Roo!" you gasped. "You chose a different career trajectory!" 

"I mean..."

"Stop. You're not old. Don't even try to tell me you're old."

"I'll be forty soon."

"You're thirty-eight."

"That's almost forty."

"You look like a DILF."

He reached for the last slice of pizza, folded it up and ate it while he reached for Rose. Like usual, she curled up on her father. Her features looked so much like his, but he was always the first one to argue with you about that, so you said nothing while he chewed up his food.

"I need you to help me pack for hot as hell Texas. I'm thinking just shorts besides my flight suits and uniforms?"

"I'll help you as soon as Rose goes to sleep for the night."

Bradley took the reins for the rest of the evening while you tried not to fall asleep before the baby. That was much easier said than done, but at least Bradley supervised tummy time while Tramp licked Rose, and then he gave her a bath. He read bedtime stories and changed her into pajamas so you didn't have to, gently setting her in her crib before joining you where you sat in bed yawning.

"You okay?" he asked, brushing his lips along your cheek before heading to the closet to start pulling out clothes to pack.

"Yeah. I just wish I didn't order the pizza, because it's empty calories, and it probably made me feel worse and more exhausted in the long run."

"But it was delicious," he muttered, piling up some of his favorite tropical print shirts. "Be honest, how many of these do you think I'll need?"

You snorted. "Unless every night is happy hour at the Copacabana, probably none. But knowing you, I'd pack at least two."

"See, you understand," he muttered with a smile as you chose two of your favorites and handed them to him. It was strange watching him load things into a duffle bag for something other than a deployment or special mission. You knew exactly how long he'd be gone. You knew it was just for a week and that he could FaceTime you and Rose whenever he wanted to, but it still felt like you were sending him away.

"We're going to miss you." 

He immediately tossed the bag onto the floor and joined you in bed. "Don't cry, Baby Girl," he whispered, swiping at tears you hadn't realized were already filling your eyes. "I'll barely be gone at all. And I don't even have to finish packing tonight. I can do it later."

You nodded and let him envelope you in his warmth. That's how you eventually fell asleep.

----------------------------------

"This sucks," Bradley said for probably the hundredth time in the past hour. Standing at the curb at San Diego International Airport with a beautiful wife and a beautiful daughter, being forced to leave them for a week, was actually awful. He didn't want to go. He wanted to continue to cradle Rose against his chest with his arm wrapped around you until he missed his flight.

"You have to go now so hopefully you can do this less frequently in the future," you whispered, voice shaky with emotion. You looked really tired, and Bradley knew you wouldn't get much of a break this week. That's why he'd arranged for Nat to check on you at home a few times whether you wanted her to or not.

"Count on it, Sweetheart," he murmured, placing kisses to Rosie's soft hair as her little fingers poked at the insignia pins on his uniform. "And I need you to be a perfect Nugget for Mommy. I'll call later tonight after I get settled in the barracks."

"Okay." Your voice was muffled as you buried your face against his neck. "I love you."

"I love you both," he promised, collecting his final kisses from Rose before buckling her into her car seat in the back of the red Bronco. Then he got a particularly filthy kiss from you that left both of you grinning before you started to shove him toward the airport entrance.

"You need to go or you'll miss your flight. And then Mav will be on my case about it."

Before he ducked inside, he cupped his free hand to his mouth and shouted, "I love you!" He watched you blow him a kiss and then pull away from the curb before he headed to the counter to drop off his bag. 

He hated traveling like this, in his uniform. It felt like everyone milling around, trying to check their bags, was looking at him. He was only wearing it today, because he wasn't sure what to expect when he arrived at a base he'd only visited one time years ago. The last thing he wanted was to seem unprepared in front of an admiral, so he wore his khakis as a precaution.

"Lieutenant Commander. Where are you headed?" asked the airline agent when she looked at his pins.

Impressed, he replied, "Dallas-Fort Worth."

She took his duffle, wished him a good flight, and then Bradley slept for the entire time he was in the air. Maybe you weren't the only one who was exhausted, because the nap seemed to do wonders for him. He woke up feeling rested, and just as soon as he sent a text letting you know he landed, he was off in search of a rental car.

To his absolute delight, all he had to do was ask nicely and flash his most charming smile, and he was handed the keys to a brand new, black Bronco. It was a model year newer than your red one back at home, and he was excited to scrutinize all of the little differences as he drove it around for the week.

"Don't like the lack of a car seat," he muttered, tossing his bag onto the backseat where he was so used to seeing Rose's infant carrier. 

Was he really that guy? Did he already miss his kid enough that he had to open up the photo gallery in his phone and scroll through a few pictures before he could drive away? Apparently he was, and it made him ache to be away from her. This was so much worse than going to La Jolla without his daughter, because right now, he had neither of you.

When his stomach started rumbling for dinner, he drove to the barracks and showed his identification, only to be told his room wasn't ready yet. So he went right back out to the Bronco in search of dinner. He knew the name of a tavern popular with officers in the area, so he typed it into his GPS and headed in the direction it told him. He had to laugh, figuring he was about to walk into the Lone Star version of the Hard Deck, but that's kind of what he wanted right now. Dinner somewhere that felt comfortable if not familiar.

"Oof." It looked like a dump compared to his bar at home, but it seemed popular, and he was hungry enough that it didn't matter. When he walked in, he took a quick survey of the space before grabbing an empty stool at the bar. He ordered your favorite beer and a sandwich and took his phone out, careful not to set it on the bar in case the owner was part of some sort of association along with Penny.

He tried reading an article, but he felt as though he was being watched. Bradley tried to ignore it, fairly certain he didn't know anyone on base here, but the feeling nagged at him while he ate. The twang of music playing on the jukebox was distracting, but not distracting enough. When he finished his food and wiped his mouth with a napkin, he picked up his bottle and drained the rest of his beer while he glanced around. 

Then he saw a young woman in a flight suit playing pool not too far from his spot at the bar. Her bright blue eyes were focused on his face, and her lips curled into a grin before she bent to sink her shot. Her patches told him she originated from Virginia Beach like he did, and that her call sign was Indigo. As Bradley turned, ready to sign his bill and leave, he saw her approach out of the corner of his eye.

"Can I help you?" he asked, turning her way again with one eyebrow raised. She was attractive, even up close, and he remained silent while her gaze traveled from his face down to his chest where his name tag was displayed. Then she gasped in delight.

"Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw," she said, eyes snapping back up to meet his. "All the way from Top Gun. I've been waiting to meet you for weeks, Sir."

------------------------------

Well, I hope BG is having a nice time at home without her husband. Thanks @beyondthesefourwalls

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[boolger]

A lapdog at a farm - chapter 5

<-former chapter -AO3 link -next chapter -> Call of duty. My ko-fi, Explicit, 18+, minors do not interact. read the tags. WC: 6.3k

tags: Rape/non-con elements, dub-con, dog!hybrid!people being kept as pets, alternative universe - farm, dark, farmer!John Price, working-dogs, punishments, mating cycles/rut/heat (no omegaverse), the dove isn't dead but its dying, it dies later on, reader is a brat, knotting, animal tails and ears, mentions of trauma, violence, angst, hurt/comfort, collars, rough sex, breeding kink, biting, threesome, foursome, everyone is fucking your honor, enemies to lovers, chubby reader, reader has a pussy

MDNI. MDNI. Dead dove do not eat.

Authors note: do note there will be the use of prong collars in this. Just like all the other fucked up stuff in this, i don't support that irl, but this is fiction. On a different note, it will probably be at least a week before I can give you another chapter lol, shit is happening, my sinners and im holding on. Also thank u to all the nice asks and comments ive been sent. means a lot <33. ENJOY!

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You could only stay in the farmhouse for so long; even though you desperately wanted to stay inside, Price dragged you outside, talking about fresh air and enjoying nature. 

To you it was nothing but lies and the smell of animal shit.

There were no pavements, no cars flashing by, no advertisements or shops, no scents of food or sweets trying to lure you in. There were no hybrid clothes shops, where John would play dress up with you for his next party. Show him how the lingerie set he picked out looked against your tail.

He would make sure your nails were always perfect and manicured. Without the claws, he made sure you knew you were loved anyways, your nails adorned with expensive nail polish and gemstones. Anything that his Daisy, his princess, his darling, his puppy wanted, she always got.

Now you were here, following him into the stables, to see how far Nikolai - who had forced himself into your life - was with the tractor.

Warily looking out for the hybrids, staying close to your owner.

The stitches were gone and everything was healed all nicely - that didn’t mean that you wanted to start over and get more bites that would need stitches. Once was enough. Hopefully Price and Nikolai understood that too.

Also, you didn’t want to get fucked dumb by those mutts again; they didn’t deserve your pussy. Especially not Ghost or Gaz. Not really Soap either, he had just been nice because he had to. You were sure. They were nothing but stupid working dogs, who didn’t know how to behave.

Your owner, John Price, looked in love; he was watching Nik just as much as he was watching the tractor. The stress that had sometimes followed him home when you lived in the city was no longer visible. It had left his bones, made him happy and pliable, clearly blossoming in his new role as a farmer. You loved him but what the fuck were you supposed to do with this whole situation? Pretend to be happy?

You were a pet, so it wasn’t like you had any options. And your attempts at persuading him to move back to the city hadn’t gone well. Resisting your ever present urge to let him fuck you, would probably not do you any good. Earn you a spanking from both him and Nikolai. They might even throw you to the hounds.

One of those said hounds were getting closer to you, the hybrid making you tense up a little.

“You’re looking good, princess,” Gaz said casually, shooting you an awfully charming smile, his tail wagging while you tipped your ears backwards instead of replying.

“Feeling better?”

You didn’t reply, merely stared at the tractor, boring as it was. Maybe if you ignored him, he would go away. He stepped closer to you, his dark gaze resting on you, while you stepped closer to John, growling as a warning.

“Behave,” Price said over his shoulder, clearly more interested in that Russian man of his, than your safety.

It only took another step and Gaz’s teeth a tad too close to you, to send you bolting out. Back inside it was then, you concluded, enough farming bullshit for today.

Only to meet Ghost in the way, his scarred face grinning smugly, ears tipping towards you.

“‘Ello pup.”

Nah, you weren’t fucking with that today. You managed to see the shadow of Soap before you bolted again.

Running still wasn’t your best talent; so though you knew it was stupid, you decided to do what you weren’t allowed to anyways. You crawled the wooden fence, ignoring the male hybrids' shouts and barks — as well as the fence’s slight squeak - and landed on the other side with a grunt. 

The corns were tall and you took a breath, looking over your shoulder, only to see a worried looking Soap being the closest.

He let out a concerned whimper.

“Dinnae lass,” he warned, a softness in his voice that you recognized from your moments inside.

You would deal with the consequences and the punishment that Price would give you for leaving the ground. It was better than getting your shoulders bitten to pieces - so you got up and rushed into the tall corn field. Abandoning the male hybrids.

Stupid. They were all stupid.

Maybe this should be your new go-to hiding spot. You could hear them bark aggressively but not getting nearer. They weren’t allowed to leave either. You felt your chest swell a little with pride over the idea. You wouldn't be gone for long, just until they lost interest in you.

It was several seconds before you stopped, panting with your tongue out. You couldn’t see the fence or the farm from all the corn by now, which finally meant some peace. Your tail wagged and your body relaxed, a soft wind playing with your fur for a moment, making the corn move around you, like waves in the ocean.

However, that peace didn’t last long.

“My my,” the voice almost appeared out of nowhere and you turned slowly, unsure but still afraid of what you would see, “what are you doing here, perrita? On my property?”

You knew Alejandro and Rodolfo had gotten a hybrid, but you had been too swept up in your own nightmare to ask about her; now, as she towered above you, seeming more wolf than dog, you would rather have one of the mutts on your own farm. A scared little whimper escaped you.

“You must be Price’s precious lapdog, no?” She asked, slowly moving in between the corn with ease, as she circled around you, fear making you stay still, “a little city puppy, forced to be out on a farm. How sad.”

There was no trace of sympathy in her voice. It took you a moment to swallow some spit and another moment to take a proper breath.

“I’ll go home again, I’m sorry.” You tried your best to seem submissive, leaning forward a little, tail tugged along your leg. You at least had your owner at the farm - but here? Here, with this new, wolf-like hybrid, you didn't have anyone. You weren’t even supposed to be here, weren’t allowed. Sure, you knew Alejandro and Rudy, but they also knew you weren’t supposed to be there.

“Hmmm,” she answered in a rumble, licking her teeth slowly, casually showing off her fangs, “what’s your name, perrita?”

She screamed danger. Her energy screamed ‘I can make worse wounds than them’ and you certainly didn’t feel like testing that. In fact, you would rather get as much distance between you and her as possible.

“D-Daisy.” It was the name Price had chosen, not that you were really called it. But you weren’t going to tell this hybrid woman who looked like she could swallow you whole, that you were usually called princess, pretty girl, puppy or sweetheart.

“I’m Valeria,” she replied, finally stopping her circling, only to step closer to you. She wasn’t really that tall, but her energy was as if she was,  she had strong arms and legs; scars littered her too, her hair short, ears big and tipped forward without a care in the world. Her collar was thick and sturdy, opposed to your own fancy one.

You almost wanted to point out that yours was prettier. That you were a lapdog, not one of the working ones, that you were not made to be played rough with. That you were no threat.

You could hear barking in the distance. Voices calling out for you. Even though you hadn’t met Valeria for more than a minute, you already knew you wanted to get a good distance between you and her.

“Uh nice to meet you, but I better get back home, sorry-“ you turned around quickly but before you could even think to bolt, strong arms were around you and the other dog hybrid pulled you close to her chest.

“Eres tan linda e ingenua,” she almost lovingly growled into your ear, and while you didn’t understand what she was saying, you were much more distracted by her tongue. She licked your cheek a couple of times, slow and wet strokes; you got the feeling that she might eat you raw without regret and you twisted a little in her grip, letting out a louder growl. She laughed, one of her hands pawing at your tit, claws sinking into the fabric. She smelled of danger and lust; like the mutts at home when they first got their dirty paws on you.

“I’m gonna enjoy me—“

“VALERIA!” Her name echoed through the fields, making both of you freeze. Like a warning rushing in between the corns, her name couldn’t be ignored.

She growled deeply, seeming annoyed with the disturbance, while you wanted to kiss whoever of your neighbors it was. She rolled her hips, humping your ass twice, before she was interrupted again.

“Valeria!” It was Alejandro, you realised then, who yelled once again, “ sé que la tienes! Let her go!”

With one deep sniff of you, while you whimpered, the wolf-looking hybrid finally let go of you.

“I won’t be as nice next time, perrita - now go, before I change my mind and take you from your boys.”

You didn’t need to be told that again and didn’t want to argue that they weren’t your boys - the moment she let go, you bolted towards the way you came. 

How they knew that she had gotten a hold of you wasn't clear, but it wasn’t like you were gonna turn around and ask Alejandro or Rudy.

The answer came to you anyways; one angry looking John Price stood with crossed arms, phone in hand. A grinning Nikolai next to him and three growling hybrids moving back and forth along the men and the fence. Every single one of them stilled and stared at you as you sheepishly walked to the fence, tail between your legs and ears tipped down.

You stood, just for a moment, with the fence in between you and the others. Considering staying there, as if that would be a good solution.

“Get your arse over here,” Price snapped, his voice stern and dark, as he put his phone in his pocket, marching towards you. 

You hastily and in a rather inexperienced manner, climbed the fence and got to the right side. Instantly, tears welled up in your eyes and you let out a whimper, almost ready to tell about the horrors you had just been through - only to bark loudly at the hybrids as they all charged towards you, hands touching you, only stopped by a sharp whistle. 

“Nyet,” Nikolai called harshly, “off her. Now.”

Soap and Gaz instantly let go, stepping back as John reached you, but Ghost didn’t move. His hand rested on your neck, pressing your collar against your skin, his nose almost fully pressed against your temple. 

“Let go.” Price’s voice was sharp and you let out a little whimper- not sure who of them you would rather deal with right now.

“She smells wrong,” Ghost replied, not moving, but his voice not as harsh as it could be, “smell of her.”

Her. You didn’t know whether Valeria would be in trouble over this or not. You had been the one to step into her territory anyways. She wasn't the one who had jumped a fence after all.

“We will fix that.” 

Ghost let out a grumble but after two seconds of staring at each other, the hybrid finally let go of you, earning himself a swift “Good boy.” 

Then Price grabbed into the ring in your collar and pulled, ignoring how you instantly broke into tears, excuses and explanations spilling from your lips like a waterfall, desperate to avoid punishment. You didn't want to stay with Valeria, but you didn’t want this either.

You were dragged past Nikolai who shared a short glance with Price - and they gave each other a short nod.

“C’mon boys,” Nikolai then called, the hybrids instantly moving to him, even though you could feel them staring at you, “we’re gonna join them.”

They were what? You cried harder, tugging at John’s arm, your owner ignoring your pleads and cries.

“I’m sorry sir, I got scared, I didn’t mean to run away,” you babbled, every second word followed by a small sob or whine, tail between your lets, almost making it hard to walk normally, “ they scared me, I was gonna come back, I’ll be good sir, I’ll behave! I wasn’t running away!”

There was no mercy from your owner, who just marched you towards the farmhouse that had almost become home by now.

If someone had told you a year ago that you would be a dog on a farm by now, surrounded by working hybrids, you would have laughed in their face. Loudly and impolitely.

You? Pretty lapdog living in the city out on a farm?

You weren’t even at the house yet, somehow crying harder because you felt so sorry for yourself in general. You were such a perfect lapdog, such a perfect being, forced to be out here, in the cold countryside. A tragedy.

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The prong collars looked like they would choke too and you wanted to scream merely at the sight.

“I’m not running the risk of having my darling all bitten to pieces again - this will hopefully help you to remember.”

None of them seemed too happy about it; you couldn’t blame them, you wouldn’t want those either, but you were horrified by the idea of getting bitten as harshly as they did last time. If both Price and Nik hadn’t been there, you doubted it would be possible to get the collars on them.

You were still crying yourself, from the shame of having jumped over the fence and creating chaos, only resulting in this.

The moment they were allowed, they were on you, ignoring your whimpering and fingers trying to push them off - Soap was the nicest, helping you get your clothes off instead of letting the others rip them, even if all of them were obsessed with your smell. Or well, with how you smelled of Valeria to be exact.

Soap licked your cheek and you growled at him, tipping your ears back, trying to push him away, fingers against his chest; but he didn’t move, only pressed himself closer, growling back to prove he was stronger than you - that you were supposed to be submitting to him.

“They shouldn’t be this aggressive,” you heard Price point out to Nikolai, but you were too distracted by Soap grinding his still clothed crotch against your poor, exposed cunt - you whined his name, but he didn’t stop. 

“Gonn’ mark ye, hen,” he promised in a murmur, teeth sinking into your jaw for just a moment - a warning tug in the leash made him let go almost instantly, instead licking the spot a couple of times, “gonn’ make ye smell all bonnie again.”

Both Gaz and Ghost were barking, but they were both held by the collars by Price and Nik, kneeling next to them, clearly antsy.

“-are working dogs-” it was hard to hear them, over your own mind buzzing so much, over the barks and the pleasure that you hated, “-hierachy is importa-”, one of Soap’s hands disappeared and a moment later, you heard his fly get tugged down, “show them where the line is, so–”

You howled in a high pitched tone as he forced his cock inside you, making you twist and try to push Soap okay. The stretch was intense, burning despite how wet you felt. “It's okay, bonnie lass,” Soap growled, forcing his cock a little deeper into you, nosing at your shoulder, near one of your scent glands, his hands moving to grab onto your thighs, “we’re nae gonna hurt ye.”

You both knew it was a lie - but you at least trusted Soap a little more than the two other mutts who were watching, knowing he could control himself. They were barely able to sit still, tongues out, almost drooling, while their eyes were dark in a way that reminded you of that time in the shed.

He forced his cock deeper, the knot finally reaching the opening of your poor, stretched cunt and you let out a sound at the fear of it sliding inside you. The scent of Soap was already beginning to overwhelm the scent that Valeria had left behind against your will - a part of you wished you had fought her more, had attempted to hurt her more.

The cry that left you was pained and afraid - his fangs almost having forced its way through your skin; you were only saved by John, who pulled Soap back by the collar, the prongs digging into the hybrid’s skin.

“Behave, boy,” John snarled while a mixture of a whine and a growl left Soap, as he helplessly pawed at the collar, “No breaking skin - already told you.”

“‘m sorry, sorry,” he promised, a pained tone to his voice, “dinnae mean tae.”

You doubted it was true; there was a darkness in the air despite the way your owner tried handling them.

He was let go off and the moment the prongs didn’t painfully dig into his skin, he was on you again, tongue on the indent he had left, his cock pressed into you again, his tail wagging.

“‘m sorry,” he barely managed to say in between his licks and moans, before his hands were back on you, his moaning louder, as he ignored your whines of slowing down. Your own hands grabbed onto his mohawk and ears, but the hybrid did nothing but moan even louder, moving his hips a little upwards and fuck - he hit the perfect spot, grinning like a feral hound when he noticed and heard your sounds.

You came against your will, crying out and spasming around him, his hands grabbing harder onto your thighs, claws teasing the skin.

He was panting and moaning like a hound, mounting you like there was nothing in his mind but the feeling of your cunt.

“Gonna fill ye up,” Soap promised, words barely escaping his mouth, drool dripping down on you; not like you cared, too gone yourself to really do so.

“DON'T knot her,” Price’s word cut through the air like a sharp knife, slicing into your mind; you wanted him to knot you, a part of you realized, no you needed him too - while another screamed in delight of not having to be stuck to him.

“Nnngh,” his hips were going so fast it almost hurt as they clashed against your skin, “please sir, please plea—“

“No.”

The hand that appeared made you shudder - and then a second later, Soap came, almost a guttural scream leaving him; you could feel Price’s fingers near your cock, stopping him from sliding his knot into you. 

“Later,” Price answered, then pulling Soap back by the collar and hair, your own hands slipping easily from him, “we don’t have the time to wait for all of you to knot her right now.”

The moment he was pulled away, you moved, whimpering and curling to the side, wincing as cum slid out from your pussy; it wasn’t John’s, you wanted it to be your owners. You barely had time to breathe before Nik released one of the others. Gaz pushed you onto your stomach - one hand on your neck to keep you down as you snarled.

“Wait,” you barked, ears tipping down “lemme breathe, for fucks sake—“

“Need you, puppy,” Gaz merely replied, grabbing onto your collar and tugging, his other hand pulling on your tail, ignoring your yelp, “gonna make it all okay again.”

“Nothing happened-“ you snarled, trying to make him let go, but you separately rose to your knees in order to levitate the pressure on your tail.

“Why did you smell like her then, huh?” He all but snarled, finally letting go of your collar, to push down his own pants, “stinking of her lust!”

You tried twisting to grip onto his ears to tug at them, hoping it would make him let go of you but he merely let go of you fully for a moment - your wrists were caught by his hands and he slammed them against the wooden floor.

“Be nice, собака,” Nik warned him, “I’m in no mood for broken bones.”

You barely heard him nor Gaz’ aggressive reply; you were too busy, having a realization. 

They were jealous ; you weren’t sure why it had taken you so fucking long to realize. The three mutts were jealous somebody else, somebody they didn’t know, had touched you and hadn’t you been so fucking upset, you might have laughed.

Instead, you felt a cock forcing its way into your cunt, making you howl in pleasure against your will; the slide was easier this time as Gaz fucked you, as you were already wet from the round with Soap - and now with his cum as well, Gaz fucked you almost smoothly. If not more aggressively than Soap had.

It didn’t take long before his teeth sank into your skin, the first two seconds it was nothing more than an extra grip, his cock roughly thrusting into you as if attempting to move your organs, his drool sliding along your skin, mixing with your sweat. His claws were digging into your skin slightly, but even more into the floor - while you were a mess, panting and attempting to growl in between your pathetic moans, barely able to see straight.

The pressure he bit you with changed quickly however and suddenly you were whining in pain, so loudly that you almost didn’t recognize your own voice.

Apparently Gaz had tried to bite Price in aggression over being ripped away from ‘his bitch’ as Nik called it, and you heard the harsh words and slaps, while you sank down a little, your tits pressed against the cold floor, your cunt empty. 

He was back as soon as he disappeared though, pulling you up again, only to almost instantly try to bite you again – halfway pulled away once more. You looked over your shoulder, seeing how the prong collar dug into his skin for a short moment until Price let go of him again.

The moment he was back, you turned however, using the moment to grab onto one of his long, dark ears and tug; it was almost a squeal that left Gaz and you heard both the hybrids bark and growl, Nik saying something – but it was the harsh spank from the leather leash that made you loosen your grip. 

“Behave, Princess,” John was squatting down next to you, strong hand on your pretty collar; it stood out so violently when compared to the others’ current prong collars, “or I’ll get you a collar too.”

“They’re mean!” you whimpered, giving him your best puppy eyes, before sending Gaz an angry look, as he was barely held back by John.

“Well you’re not quite playing nice either, eh?” There was a slight amusement in his voice but you didn’t get to comment on it, before he moved again.

Price gave Gaz more leash and the hybrid was instantly on you again, but this time Price didn’t let go of the metal ring in your own collar, keeping you in place, as if to remind you to behave; to remember he was right here, calling the shots.

“Yeah, Princess,” Gaz mocked, pushing into your cunt again with a moan, the movement in his hips exposing the fact that he was wagging his tail, “Behave.”

“Shut up!” you hissed angrily, a tug in the collar reminding you that Price was right there. 

Gaz’ hands were mostly on your hips - he nuzzled against your back and neck, licking your shoulders and in between your shoulder blades - he bit you a couple of times, but they were barely anything more than nips, a gentle tug on his collar reminding him to behave.

Then one of his hands moved, almost catching you off guard and making you whimper - it slid beneath your stomach, pawing at it for a moment, before it found its way to your cunt where the two of you were still connected, his thrusts still hard; he touched your clit without hesitation, snarling out words you could barely recognize. Mercilessly forcing you towards another orgasm.

Price let go of your collar and you let your head slumber down against the floor, wincing at the small pool of drool that had been created, hating how you pushed back against Gaz, the dual pleasure of his cock hitting that right spot and the fingers on your clit, so good you could barely breathe.

You barely heard Price’s command of not knotting you, from the mere tsunami of pleasure that overtook your body as you came, a howl that barely made any sound, snapping of your teeth and the pawing at the floor. You tightened around his cock, the knot having been so close, oh so close to being forced into your over oversensitive cunt - but then it was pulled out of you, almost making you sob.

Cum spurted on top of your lower back and ass cheeks, before Gaz willingly went - you could hear the almost instant sound of him and Soap making out with each other. And there was only one person back, which meant you had to go now.

A hand grabbed onto your ankle, dragging you backwards as you managed to crawl forwards a few steps - you turned around, back on the floor, raising your opposite leg to kick Ghost in the face, but the other hybrid caught it easily; grinning at you, almost feral-like, lust heavy in the air. Sometimes you forgot they had been in the military for so long.

Leather connected to your skin once more, this time on your raised thigh, a whine leaving you, your eyes flickering to look up at John who stood with the leash curled in his hand, ready to spank you with it once more.

“behave,” John hissed at you, while Ghost chuckled. Idiot.

You didn’t have much time to argue, Ghost letting go of your ankles, just to grab onto your thighs and pull you closer; he was kneeling, almost pulling you into his lap, that feral grin still there, fangs exposed.

He leant over you much quicker than you had anticipated, ignoring your growling and snapping with teeth - one hand resting next to your head, the other pulling down his boxers, pants already open.

Was his cock this big last time? It was like you couldn’t remember the last time right now, you could barely think, in fact, your mind was overwhelmed with so many things. Pleasure, oversensitivity, pain and anger - his dick seemed inhumanely long.

“Not so snappy now, huh?” he crooned, voice low, his free hand grabbing onto your plush thigh, fingers digging into the fat, ears tipped towards you as he spoke, “cockdumb already?”

“nnngh,” you tried pushing at his clothed chest, twisting in his grip, but it was no use; it was like the cock inside you kept you from doing anything. Somehow you managed a small “shutup” and that was enough to set Ghost going.

“Gonna teach you to not go whoring again,” Ghost snarled against your skin, tongue sloppily leaving a wet trail of spit over one of your bouncing tits, simply ignoring your hands trying to push his face out of the way, a plethora of moans and small yaps leaving you as he didn’t stop fucking you with that monster cock of his. You knew you were being watched, both by your owner and his boyfriend, as well as the two other hybrids, it only added to the humiliation of being turned on.

“Belong to us,” his words were barely audible as he growled them, the wet sounds and rustling of his clothes seeming to overtake it, “not her.”

“I won’t, won’t go, won–” you were barely aware of the words slipping from your lips, the volume rising as you felt his teeth scrape against a spot on your shoulder over your right breast, “nonon, please, I wont–”

“Ghost–” Price’s warning was stern, the little tug in the prong collar making him grumble, licking over the spot a couple of times - your eyes met. 

Ghost’s eyes almost seemed like they wanted to own you too; as if it was no longer John who you bowed to, but the pack that you didn’t want, on a farm you didn’t want to be. His thrusts quickened and then his eyelids lowered together with his head – biting down into your skin.

Despite his fast attempt at breaking your skin, mauling your flesh into his, Price was quicker – pulling him back by the collar. He held an extra grip on his hair and you managed to look up, see through the tears.

It was like there was a flood in your ears, Price looking mad, Ghost’s ears tipping backwards as he spoke.

Fighting to get some air into your lungs, you panted and tried wiggling free. Ghost’s fingers merely dug deeper into your plush thigh even though he was currently pulled back by the prong collar, the tips of his claws pressing against your skin as a warning.

The moment he let go, Ghost was back at it, staring down at you with a dark smile, grunts and small moans even leaving him. It took a couple of moments before Price let him have enough leash to bend down over you again and this time Ghost growled into your ears instead of your skin. Licking your furry ears while you whimpered at the feeling and the words.

They owned you; were going to breed you, use you, keep Valeria away, and do whatever they needed to keep you. You were theirs. The moment you let us, he had panted, we will love you.

There was an odd feeling in your stomach, almost as if you were going to piss yourself, but with no mercy from any of the men, one of your hands dug into his short hair and the other grabbed onto his shoulder as you screamed.

It had been a while since you squirted and it took you by surprise, just as it did the others. There were several barks, voices but then Ghost was fucking you even harder than before, bordering on painful, forcing his mouth against yours. You came a second time, this time not squirting but it almost felt more intense.

Ghost came just a moment later, perhaps caught by surprise himself, but he made sure not to knot you. 

The world was spinning around you. There were teardrops in your lashes as you squinted up at the hybrid, who was still pushed inside you. Price’s hand petting him shortly on the head before pulling him back.

There was speech but you barely noticed - then strong hands pulled you up into a lap. The overpowering scent of leather and oil told you who it was and despite your slight hate for Nik, your tail wagged as he pulled you into his arms, cooing at you.

“Such a strong puppy,” he praised, one of his hands drying away some of your drool, caressing your cheek as he sat on the floor with you on his lap, cum no doubt dripping onto his clothes, “you deserve treat for being so good, da?”

Compared to the first time you had met Nikolai, you didn’t want to bite his hand anymore - he clearly didn’t fear you doing so either. You snuggled into his hand, nodding as you squinted up at him, a  small “uh-huh” leaving you.

His hand disappeared and then there was a faint rustling of plastic - even without seeing it, you smelled it. It was that mouthwatering scent that made you weak in your knees that first time and your nose instantly sniffed, almost trying to sit up further to get a look of where it was - to get it before the boys did. Nikolai laughed, letting out a “there you go, milaya,” letting you grab the piece of jerky from his finger, instantly sinking your teeth into it with a pleased sigh. Your tail wagging a little again as you heard Soap whining over not getting a piece.

You even had to take a bath with them afterwards. Your life was officially over - you made sure to tell Price that, who just huffed and rolled his eyes. Sure, you weren’t the biggest fan of showers, but you wanted the cum off and you wanted a bath in the tub… alone. That was your thing.

“- ‘nd they’re gonna use up my shampoo and my conditioner -” you continued overdramatically as Nik carried you in front of John, the russian man merely snorting at your pitiful complaining. 

“We’ll buy more-” John tried to point out, but to no avail, life might as well be over for you right now.

“- ‘nd my brushes - all my nice brushes!”

“I will be sure tae use yers, Mo ghràdh,” Soap happily proclaimed, sending you a wink, fully naked as he was, his usual collar back on, small red marks on his neck from where the prongs had been, “I will use theim the wrong way. Just fer ye.”

Gaz snickered and even Ghost let out a chuckle.

“Jooohn,” you whined, only struggling a little as Nik sat you down in the tub, the water already nice and warm, your poor body having needed this, “I’m gonna need new brushes.”

“I doubt that, Princess,” he cooed, petting your hair, “Now who wants to join in th–”

Soap was in the tub, sliding in behind you before John could even finish his question, happily ignoring your pout and growl.

“Dinnae be like that,” he crooned, “where is yer special shampoo?”

This day had been awful.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

“Princess.”

You almost jumped as the voice called for you and you turned, squinting slightly in suspicion at the sight. Gaz stood in the doorway, all calmly, looking at you, playing a little with his gloves. He didn’t look aggressive and didn’t smell turned on; in fact, he looked pretty harmless, his tail wagging ever so slightly, ears turning towards you and an almost shy smile.

“What?” you asked, sitting up in the dog bed, crossing your arms, not caring about sounding nice, looking him over for a moment before adding, “you’re dragging in mud.”

He looked down at his shoes, letting out a little ‘oh’. They weren’t really supposed to be in here, so you didn’t really understand why Gaz stood there. You didn’t really care either.

The other might be beautiful, but he was still not one of your favorite people. 

“I - want to show you something,” he finally said, one of his charming smile appearing, though it was a little more careful this time, “Soap said you would probably like it.”

“What is it?” You didn’t sound too impressed.

“It's a surprise,” he smiled a little more.

“If it's your knots, then you can–”

“Jeez,” he rolled his eyes, as if they weren’t fucking you silly on the livingroom floor the other day, “it’s not. Nothing like that.”

“Promise?”

“I do,” he answered, wagging a little more than before, “Swear on my tail.”

"Hm. Where is it?”

“In the barn.”

You scrunched your nose at the mention of the barn, the idea of being stamped to death by a horse already scaring you.

“It’s nothing scary - I wouldn’t bring you if it was.”

You let out a sigh, before getting up - he went to the hallway again and you followed, stealing one of John’s jackets as well as a pair of his boots, before following Gaz outside. 

“Some air would do you good once in a while, ya’ know,” Gaz said after a few moments, “we’re not that bad all of the time, Princess.”

You huffed, wondering for a moment if you should just turn around and go back. “You haven’t really proved me otherwise.”

He let out a hum that almost sounded agreeable but opened one of the doors to the barn, ushering you inside.

“It’s all good, I promise,” he said once more and you reminded yourself, that if he tricked you, you were going to snap off his tail. Pretty as it was.

He steered you to a booth where you noticed the heat lamp at first, more than anything else - but then you saw them, letting out a little gasp.

Tiny baby goats, all snuggled together in the hay beneath the lamp. A few of the mothers stood nearby and one of them came to the door of the booth, sniffing at Gaz’ hand, before letting out a bleat - then turning around again.

“They’re adorable,” you whispered, looking back at the babies, some of them looking at you, others sleeping with no worries in the world. 

“Aren’t they?” Gaz asked with a smile, “They were born yesterday night. Come.”

You let out a scared sound as Gaz opened the door to the booth.

“Won’t the mothers attack us?” you didn’t like how Gaz chuckled to your genuine, fearful question but he shook his head.

“Nah, me ‘nd the others hang out with the animals all the time.” He explained, petting one of the mothers who came to greet him for a moment.

It was cute. You had to admit that, even with your limited love of the farm animals.

“But I don’t.” you pointed out, still standing in the door of the booth, afraid to step into the hay and join the other as he sat down next to the baby goats.

“No, but the mothers know I won’t let a predator near,” he explained gently, “Not at daytime and not during the night.”

“Oh.”

There was something special over this that you could not explain. You didn’t want to explain it. You sat down next to Gaz as he patted the spot, still a little unsure about the momma goats - but none of them battered an eye as Gaz took your hand and made you gently pet one of the babies.

“They’re so tiny,” you whispered, almost to yourself, for once not hating or fearing Gaz. At least for right now, you were just in a moment together with him, doing something that you hadn’t expected would be that nice.

[asomaton]

“Wake”

I live alone. There should be no voices here. A dim person with long black hair dressed in gray nondescript clothing is standing by my bed. It raises a hand and says

“The pantheon is expanding. You have been measured and found fit. Comfort your flock Listen to the pleas from the new.”

“Who? What? I’ve got nothing here. What do you want?” I scramble for my glasses but when I turn around the person is gone. Squinting in the dim light I try to see where they went. Bolting from the bed I turn on the lights and scan the apartment. Nothing. My heart is hammering in my chest. Not a trace. Walking round the bed I step into something. Sand. Two footprints like small crescent moons on the floor. After going through everything in the apartment and finding nothing, all doors locked, no broken windows, I grab my phone and take a picture of the sand. Are they really footprints? Was it all a dream and I imagined the sand as footprints? A very vivid dream. These things happen right? I mean it happened to me. I still grab an old heavy shoehorn made of brass and tries to sleep. If they come back I sure will shoehorn them good. Sleep do not come that night.

Two weeks after the “visit” the tinnitus starts. It’s not like in the descriptions, more like a susurrant mumbling. I blame it on stress and the fact that I’ve been having trouble sleeping. Nothing too bad. This is the price for my younger years with warehouse parties and concerts I guess. The tinnitus gets worse though and the noise canceling headphones I get from office only helps with sound from outside the head. Sometimes it shrieks and wails. Damn annoying really. Perhaps I should seek help?

The turning point comes when a colleague who been sick for a long while comes to visit work. Not a close friend. Just some guy with a booming voice who used to claim he had a “zest for life”. Why was he working here then? He’s not booming now. He look pale, almost gray and the skin hangs from his cheeks.

“It’s an experimental treatment.” he says with a hollow voice. “They couldn’t find a donor so I’ve got a lab-grown liver.” He gives a coughing and rattling laugh. “Fancy that huh? I’m like a pioneer.” He looks seriously again. Stricken. “Problem is it doesn’t really want to stick, yeah? Not sure if I get another chance. Probably won’t come back. Just wanted to see you guys one last time.” He smiles twitchy and I hear it. The din in my ears rises up to a choir of a million voices, clear, shivering and full of fright. Something alive, squabbling and scrambling to find something they can relate to. A safe haven. Anything. And something responds in me. A take a step forward and gently place three fingers on the shirt covering my colleagues stomach and says steady and reassuring

“This is your home now. Find peace. “

And my colleague who I’m not really friends with and whose stomach I’ve just touched in a weird way look at me. Confused, but strangely serene. He just calmly turn around and goes back to the elevator. Before he leaves he turns his head to me and waves. I wave back and smile. He’s going to be alright. His liver is going to be alright. I’ve reassured the new life in his abdomen. The lab grown engineered life forms to which I’m set to guide and protect in its many myriad forms.

My first thought after the insight, strangely, is that I always wanted pets, and now I suddenly have billions, manufactured under microscopes all over the world.

You wake up suddenly to find an androgynous being by your bed, congratulating you on your ascension to godhood and vanishing without explaining your domain or power set. Now you have to figure out what kind of god you are, and why you're a god to begin with

[hannieehaee]

18+ / mdi

content: loser!jeonghan, teasing, afab reader, smut, grinding, penetrative sex, etc.

part 1, part 2

wc: 1545

a/n: its so hard to find pictures of him with long hair AND glasses so u guys will have to get creative with these pictures.

masterlist

after that first time with jeonghan, you'd sadly been unable to see him again in over two weeks.

it's not that you didn't try. life simply kept you away from him for unknown reasons. maybe the higher powers knew you'd break him if you got too much of him all at once. who knows.

when you were finally able to schedule another meeting with the pretty boy, you were ecstatic. maybe you even went out of your way, grooming yourself to perfection in the shower and even buying some cute underwear for him to see when you finally got your way with him again.

the plan was for him to stop by your apartment at 8pm. there was no use in calling him in in the morning knowing what your true intentions with him were. his texts had perfectly communicated his nerves, so you were pretty sure he had a good idea of what would go down tonight rather than studying.

you made sure to pretty yourself up, but without going too overboard. lingerie would probably be too much, so you opted for some simple lace under some skimpy pjs as you waited for the clock to hit 8. but time really could not go any slower.

when 7:58pm hit, you decided to go wait by the door, knowing the cutie would likely want to arrive a little earlier. he was always the type to be seated in class before everyone else. it was an adorable habit, if you said so yourself.

proof of what a good boy he was.

just before it turned 8, you heard some murmurs coming from the other side of your door, leading you to inspect and see if jeonghan was standing on the other side of the door.

then a thought came across your mind.

maybe the cutie was waiting until after 8. perhaps he wanted to not seem desperate. god, so adorable.

"okay, fuck. calm down. it's just- it's just y/n. it's just studying ... yeah. studying," you heard him whisper to himself.

looking through the peephole, you spotted the long-haired boy taking deep breaths, hand coming up at a snail's speed to knock on your door before backing out. this went on a few times before you gave up and decided for open the door for yourself.

best to catch him off guard.

"o-oh! hi ..." he mumbled after the initial scare of your sudden appearance left him — his widened eyes behind his frames were the cutest thing!

"hannie! it's past 8. i thought you were more punctual than that?", you decided to tease him before pulling him into your place.

"ah, i- i'm sorry, i didn't-"

"i'm kidding, hannie. i'm just happy you're here," you grinned at him, "you know, for studying."

"haha, yes, right."

the poor boy awkwardly put down his backpack as you led him over to your couch, signaling for him to take a seat. even when you sat down, he remained standing, looking around awkwardly before letting his knees bend and taking a seat.

as he sat next to you, his hands remained on his knees and his posture was entirely too stiff. you didn't need to know anything about behavioral analysis to be able to tell he felt out of place. his entire demeanor was closed off and maybe even slightly scared.

this made you pout a bit. maybe you should help him out a bit?

scooting closer, your body faced his own. your hand came up to lay on one of his, making him jumo slightly at the sudden touch. the reaction was then followed by a tiny giggle from you and a shy chuckle from him.

"are you nervous? do i make you nervous," you asked in the sweetest manner you could.

he nodded, eyes glued to your connected hands.

"you don't need to be nervous, hannie. i just wanted to ... spend time with you. we had so much fun last time, didn't we?"

from where you sat, he looked like the prettiest thing you'd ever seen. you hoped he took the hint soon, because your resolve was breaking just from seeing that pretty nose and those wide, brown eyes.

"ye-yes," he cleared his throat, finally sneaking a glance at you.

you took a chance and scoot even closer, knees now knocking.

"i was thinking maybe we could just unwind a little bit before we get to the studying. what do you think?" your tone was clear in what you were hinting at. and jeonghan was smart enough to catch onto this, nerves or not.

he'd known since the moment you set up the meeting, but you couldn't blame the poor shy thing if he thought you had been literal in your usage of the word studying.

once again, he hesitated before nodding, gulping when you bit your lip in excitement at his confirmation.

god, you were going to have so much fun with him.

~

"oh, fuck, p-please, i- i'll do anything just, o-oh, fuck, yesyesyes."

"ever felt pussy before, hannie?" you sighed as you let yourself lower onto him, attempting to remain unaffected by the feeling.

you'd been teasing him for a bit, making out with him as you ground down onto his hardness (which, it seemed like he'd been hard since he walked through the door) up until you grew too antsy, opting to rid you both of your clothes so you could feel his skin. that was when the teasing really began, though, as you grabbed onto his cock and ran his tip against your clit, knowing the slick stimulation would have him whining.

that went on for a few minutes (spent by him begging and pleading for you to let him feel you) until this moment.

but nothing couldve prepared you for how fucking good he'd feel once inside you.

you'd already been pulsing at the mere sight of him, but to get him to fill you up? while he cried out and dug his fingers onto the skin of your hips? that was everything and more.

"nnngh, i- n-no, never," he managed between hiccuped gasps — and you hadn't even moved an inch since enveloping him.

"good. this is the only one you will ever feel," you werent sure if that was a threat or a promise, but either one worked.

you began moving then, taking turns between grinding deliciously against him for you down gratification, and bouncing so his eyes could roll further back into his head. both were enjoyable for you and life-ruining for jeonghan.

"f-feel so good, oh, god, fuck, yes!"

"don't stop, oh, please please please, don't stop ..."

"a-again, please! o-oh, that's it, that's- oh, god, yes ..."

he was way more talkative now that he was buried in pussy, his voice going an octave higher as he whined and cried at you, never-ending encouragement leaving his lips. his entire demeanor was breaking you down. you felt a sick gratification from breaking him to an even bigger stammering mess than he was on a regular basis.

you were so close, so near your end that his own orgasm caught you off guard. but you took advantage, tightening around him as your hand went down to toy at your clit, knowing you could get yourself there by the mere look of utter bliss displayed on the angelic features of the boy below you.

the image of jeonghan as he let pleasure take him an toy with him as it pleased was one of the prettiest sights you'd ever seen. this would surely become a visual to revisit time and time again any time you found yourself lonely at night.

endless pretty sighs left his lips as his eyes became wet with tears. he looked almost pained, but the constant mumbles of gratitude and praise told a different story.

your orgasm took the backseat as you allowed yourself to thoroughly enjoy the former virgin be defiled for the first time. you'd never had a virgin before, but now you knew this would be the one and only exception. nothing would ever live up to the angel boy you'd somehow gotten into your bed, nor would you be able to not bring him back again and again.

"i ... thank you," he mumbled after a few moments of silence when his orgasm had subsided.

you couldn't blame him. not when the feeling had taken over his entire body in the way it did. him thanking you was just the cutest thing.

with a hand on his cheek, you caressed the skin, thumb swiping at the wetness under his eye before leaning down to give him a sweet kiss on the lips.

"thank you, angel. i had so much fun," you couldn't help giggling.

he gulped up at you, taking a breath before speaking up again.

"do you, uh, do you think we could .. we could do this again sometime? i, uh, i really- i just-"

"oh, hannie," you interrupted him, somehow invading his personal space even more by pressing kisses to his chest, "we'll be doing this again, don't you worry. you're mine now."

his reaction expressed both fear and relief, but the cock still inside you gave you a way more satisfactory reaction, inspiring you into continuing to defile the boy late into the night.

[crumplstiltskin]

unckuna au hcs migrated from x

main post: i cant draw rn but like this for a random unckuna au hc (from my verse so dont come @ me if it doesnt fit with yours)

unedited btw so don't come for me!!! some things are subject to change bc i said so

1. sukuna daps up  young choso as a greeting bc he thinks its funny with the size difference + how choso goes along with anything

2. sukuna has the passcode and key to jin and kaori's house so they find him randomly in the house sometimes. he likes to nap on the couch bc its nice and deep

3. sukuna met kaori first but they were all involved with bad company when they were students. kaori and jin immediately started to clean up their act after they started to date

4. yuuji used to cry looking at sukuna but at one point after seeing the twins side by side he just started laughing and never stopped???? rorschach test on sukuna's face ✅

5. sukuna and jin kick their feet behind them when they do tummy time with yuuji

6. yuuji named sukuna's cat cheese burger. they call her chizu

7. choso is kaori's first child and jin's step son. he rarely calls jin "dad" (usually something similar to "mr. jin" "uncle" "sir" etc) but when he does he's shy about it and jin also tends to get teary eyed ☹️

8. sukuna lives in tokyo. kaori has long stretches where she lives in tokyo for work. jin travels back and forth between sendai and tokyo. yuuji lived with wasuke until high school+his passing, then he moved in with his parents in tokyo.

9. choso is wherever yuuji is. but when he moved to sendai the first time they cut his hair short and he sulked for a week. he had to keep it trimmed short until he graduated middle school. he went to a local vocational school instead of high school

10. when choso and yuuji go to tokyo during holidays everyone stays at sukuna’s place bc it’s bigger. otherwise kaori stays at company housing (if jin is visiting kaori he also stays with sukuna)

11. kaori is older than the twins by two years 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ ‍‍‍kenjaku (kaori’s brother) is older than the twins by three years (kk irish twins!!) jin is the older twin.

12. kaori had choso at 20, only started dating jin a couple years after that bc he was too busy pining and she was dating someone else, married jin at 26 and had yuuji the same year. choso and yuuji are 6 years apart

13. sukuna likes to offer to stand in for parent discussions about yuuji’s life. kaori never takes him seriously even if he is only half joking (he says that yuuji is also HIS bc jin and sukuna are identical twins. genetically it’s true but this does not impress her at all….)

14. megumi and yuuji met during one of the holidays he was in tokyo for. they occasionally met the following summers and sometimes ask their parents to call each other until finally they became classmates in hs (when yuuji moved out to tokyo)

15. the twins and toji knew about each other by reputation (same circles but they’ve never met and they dont wanna talk about it either 😭😭😭esp not around his innocent wife)

16. tsumiki is megumi’s neighbour+childhood friend and they basically grew up together. she sometimes stays with megumi’s family bc megumi’s mom is friends with hers and she works a lot of nights.

17. sukuna pretends to be annoyed by choso but one time after he said he doesnt love young choso he went to cry in his bed and it hurt sukuna’s feelings lol

17.1. (he remedies this later by talking to him and saying he really likes him though and he’s his best friend—all while frowning and shaking his head at kaori who was watching)

18. sukuna and uraume have been besties since elementary school. uraume used to have a crush on jin (but they never liked sukuna that way for reasons related to his personality ☠️)

19. sukuna fixes cars and motorcycles in his free time. he only has space for a single bike in his garage, but he often visits one of kenjaku’s properties to work on other ones that kenjaku has.

20. kenjaku is in prison‼️‼️‼️

21. yuuji and toji’s rs is exactly like that one radio episode where they talked about yuuji being a (lovable) nuisance to his life…megumi’s mom and tsumiki both treat him like family

See: [podcast] Will Toji & Itadori get along well?

22. when jin and kaori ask yuuji about nobara they always refer to her as his gf (not true, they aren’t dating, never will). nobara always complains about it when she comes over and begs on hands and knees for them to stop (they dont bc they think its funny)

23. as an infant yuuji liked to sleep on sukuna’s chest bc of the cushion :robloxmanface: jin got jealous and started working out just bc of that

24. nobara and kaori are so close sometimes they go on little shopping dates and send the pictures to yuuji and jin🤷‍♂️ people on her insta keep asking her if “her mom” is single and yuuji fights for his life in the replies

25. sukuna also gets a lot of attention on yuuji and nobara’s socials but they leave him to the dogs. if it gets crazy they just start blocking everyone after sending them the link to sukuna’s account

26. megumi’s insta is just candids of his friends and dogs mixed into photography. no captions except on bday posts

27. if yuuji asks his parents for something and they say no, he will sometimes ask sukuna if he is desperate (who will always say yes if its amusing enough bc hes an enabler)

28. yuuji makes sukuna do a duet with him every time they bring out the karaoke machine at big family parties (sukuna just stands there breathing into the mic)

29. jin is a stay-at-home husband 👍 kaori’s the one making bank and insisting jin wear his cute lil apron when she comes back home

30. as an infant yuuji only ate whatever jin/wasuke/sukuna made. they didnt feed him any processed food unless it was baby puffs or something like that

31. heights for fun (sorry uraume they gave you a lil boy body….or am i…🤨)

32. the only person sukuna is scared of is jin and maybe wasuke one time when he got mad (he's usually pretty mild-mannered, just frowns a lot)

33. sukuna has never had a steady gf in his life🤷‍♂️ when they start getting too comfortable with him and telling him what to do he cuts them off

34. he always introduces girls he's interested in (beyond hooking up) to uraume. if uraume thinks the vibes are off even a little bit he drops them. jin and wasuke have only seen a few in passing

35. tw????? sukuna uses "gay" the millennial way. as in "wack"

36. yuuji has  tried to wash/rub off/erase sukuna's tattoos on several occasions

37. jin and sukuna greet each other by wrestling and doing silent takedowns. when yuuji gets big enough he also does the same thing with sukuna (sukuna never lets him win until he actually starts taking martial arts classes and he has to take him seriously😭 sore loser)

38. besides his own food sukuna only eats homemade food his family (wasuke, jin, yuuji + uraume) make. he’ll eat kaori’s food if jin makes him but he pretends to have a hard time swallowing it

39. sukuna is always in bed by 11pm!!! he sleeps in the dark with blackout curtains and a pillow on his head. doesn’t move an inch. hotel sheets with high thread count. bedroom never above 20 degrees celsius

40. sukuna used to steal food off yuuji’s plate to mess with him but after he noticed that yuuji would push his plate closer to him on purpose (to feed his poor uncle) he stopped 😔

41. child yuuji has called sukuna to finish a tub of ice cream (to get rid of evidence) that he shouldn’t have been eating but bc sukuna was all the way in tokyo and yuuji in sendai he couldn’t save him from getting scolded by wasuke 💔

42. sukuna has billed a girl for staining his shirt with makeup

43. sukuna and uraume sometimes pretend to be father and child to get family discount 👍

44. twins and uraume are only one year apart. they are just built different…sukuna built like an industrial fridge, uraume like an immortal elf on the shelf.

45. sukuna and yuuji decorated yuuji’s first helmet together (for skateboarding). the theme was dinosaur but it ended up looking like a rooster

46. the glovebox in his car still has stickers yuuji stuck on when he was small

47. once jin caught sukuna going🥰😚😝 with baby yuuji and when sukuna realized he was being watched he pretended to be asleep……..

48. sukuna has an album on his phone just for yuuji. half of it is burst pics of baby yuuji in action (dont ask why he didnt just take a video)

49. jin matches his outfits to yuuji’s

50. when they lived separately sukuna would sometimes get blurry pictures from jin’s phone of things yuuji would photograph (baby foot, jin’s scalp, wasuke in the garden, etc) and sukuna would text back very seriously (eg “tell your dad i can pay for his trip to turkey”)

51. whenever he babysits outside of the house and comes to pick up yuuji sukuna asks where “his accessory” is in reference to the baby and kaori hates it😭😭😭

52. if he HAS to, sukuna only uses metal tin containers for food. you can distinguish who made yuuji’s lunch that way (metal tin + looks gourmet = sukuna, food with faces +cute dividers = jin)

53. uraume and sukuna always invite yuuji to test new menus so he’s kind of acquainted with sukume’s industry friends. they think he has a gift in it too.

54. megumi and choso are so awkward together they usually sit in silence if left alone in a room….yuuji and sukuna think it’s so funny for some reason

55. jin is the last person to realize yuuji and megumi are dating when they eventuslly do. sukuna is the one to tell him but kaori (clocked it, asked nobara) and sukuna (mental math) realize first.

56. sukuna’s cat is a ginger maine coon😊

57. sukuna built a catio behind his shophouse for his cat

58. sukuna wears saxx underwear

59. sukuna and gojo go on food and bar crawls together (they play stupid games to see who should pay. gojo always pays)

60. choso is a nurse🫶

61. yuuji gets ""free"" scans at the hospital whenever he thinks he broke something (9 times out of 10 he's fine)

62. when yuuji calls for “dad” sukuna will always look, sometimes he’ll catch himself almost responding (jin always catches him too)

63. choso doesnt actually have the face tattoo in this au. i just draw it  bc i thats what i’m used to 🙃 sukuna has all his tattoos though

64. sukuna thinks blended chicken protein shake is an abomination. he believes in chewing your meat (his fav protein shake is vanilla flavor)

65. jin always greets yuuji at the door when he comes home (before anyone asks he likes to act busy when kaori does so she can backhug him hahahahhaha)

66. difference between bffs

🐯🐺= they also kiss…

🐯🔨= act like siblings

⛩️❄️= evil girl telepathy, will snicker about you together without saying anything

67. sukuna is the type to get a new phone just bc his gallery is full also “doesnt it look cool though” (jin gives him the dad look)

68. yuuji was the deciding factor (excuse) for sukuna not to have his own child bc when he realized during a discussion b/w jin and sukuna that his uncle wouldn’t have time for him he got sad and cried lol

69. when sukuna takes choso and yuuji out together he makes them hold hands and walk infront of him so they dont get kidnapped 😭

70. sukuna has gotten emo over yuuji outgrowing his baby clothes. jin straight up bawled

71. if they don’t meet for a while (12+ hours) and sukuna lifts his hand yuuji will get under his arm for a hug. choso will get a shoulder squeeze or a sidehug and jin will get his ribs crushed. he nods his chin at kaori (very rude)

72. bc they grew up together and choso has been fussing over yuuji ever since he was born, yuuji is the only person choso is comfortable hugging and making extended physical contact with. he doesn’t mind his mother touching him but anyone else?? very flustered

73. sukuna treats nobara like family and he’ll call her his neice if a random person asks. has let her apply makeup over his tattoos for fun, will drive her places if kaori isn’t around. they also talk about luxury brands together….

74. when yuuji was sick as a baby jin would cuddle him the entire time so he can feel warm. if sukuna is around he’d also take shifts with jin. they wouldnt let wasuke bc he might get sick (sukuna: he might pass away from a cough)

75. sukuna got jin a baby wrap for the above reason….otherwise yuuji would cry his head off if he was put down for even a second

76. (when sick) yuuji cried less the older he got but he would still hold his caretaker’s hand and follow them around the house if they were making food, etc…

77. yuuji doesn’t cry a lot or make a fuss in general though 🤷‍♂️he’s the kind of kid to wave at strangers and say hello

78. the rare times yuuji gets combative is bc sukuna is provoking him 😭 that stands true throughout his life. bc if he has questions they all answer him and he takes it as true (sukuna will lie and then yuuji looks foolish which will lead to arguments)

79. callback to the tweet below but yuuji has asked sukuna on several occasions if he has a job to do when his uncle gets on his nerves

i realize sukuna acts jobless in the unckuna au but its only bc he gets to make his own hours most of the time if he’s not booked for an event/job 😭

80. after yuuji and nobara start posting sukuna online his insta and business profiles go viral. the requests get concerning sometimes but every time there’s a big private/foreign one yuuji asks if he can go (answer is always no)

81. sukuna, jin, and yuuji (after childhood) come down with a cold maybe two times a year. choso and kaori get sick more often. and choso plays it up bc hes dramatic

82. megumi has been scouted by modeling agents a few times. of all the times it happened while out with nobara she chased them away out of spite (not that megumi was interested in the first place)

[princesssmars]

yet again vi stumbles onto your doorstep, and yet again you can't turn her away.

youd never seen her until she moved into the apartment next to yours a few weeks back, sloppily dyed hair and melancholy face drawing your attention faster than you'd like to admit.

you'd heard her through the walls sometimes, the distinct clinking of bottles and thudding of relentless training on a punching bag.

the first time she'd interacted with you was when you were tiredly coming in after a long day at work, the woman drunkely stumbling up the stairs and letting out a rather loud wolf whistle. You decided to ignore it with a roll of your eyes until you heard the sounds of stumbling and cursing, turning around to see she'd fallen flat on her face as soon as the sound stopped coming out of her mouth.

obviously, being an extremely good person, you helped the wobbly woman into your apartment and forced her to dit down on your toilet seat while you got out some med supplies to patch up the scratch on her cheek. her eyes wer droopy as you wiped at the scar, barely flinching at the alcohol you put on the wound.

"janna, how much alcohol do you have in you?"

"hmmmmm just enough to have a good night."

"i wouldnt call immediately eating shit after catcalling someone a good night, vi."

"how'd'you know my name?"

"its written on your face, sweetheart."

maybe you shouldnt have been such a good person, because now this brute has stuck herself to you side. whenever she has a injury from wherever she gets them from, she bangs her fist on your door and blinks at your annoyed form until you begrudgingly let her in to fix her up.

she's not the worst, at least when shes not drunk out of her mind. you ask about why after tour first meeting she marked over the tattoo on her face, or the alcohol problem, something youre accustomed to in zaun but uncommon to see in someone still so young, but she just grumbles and shrugs off the questions. eventually you manage to worm out of her that someone close to her used to make really good drinks. you dont ask any more about it.

soon enough she finally decides to let you in on whats causing all these mysterious bumps and scrapes on her bidy, inviting you down to the fighting pits to watch her have a go. you figure if she's not dead yet she must be pretty good and damn is she good. you're slightly grateful that she does in fact have the brawn to back up that short tempered brain of hers, taunting her opponents before knocking them out in less than a minute.

maybe you can see why she was so conifent when catcalling you. just maybe.

shes still closed off but open to talking to you the more time you spend together, spending the night at yours more than once and finally seeming to calm in your presence, the neon flashing lights outside bring out the shapes and lines of her face as she stares at your ceiling above. being such a good neighbor you even sneak into her apartment one day and help clean up just a little bit. she didnt bring it up but the next time you needed to patch her up you opened your cabinet to see a bran new medkit.

but then like a switch is flicked she starts on a downward spiral, spending more and more time at the bar after her wins at the bar and having to get helped on her feet to get back into her apartment. seeing a nasty cut running down her arm during one of these trips you try to switch the woman from her friend over to you before she growls and rushes into her apartment, slamming the door in both of your faces.

you look to the man in silence. he only has a sad look on his face, shaking his head before heading back down the stairs.

you dont see her again for another ewweeks, until you hear the telltalesound of her falling on her ass outsie the door. you press you ear up against the door to hear what she does and start to get worried when she makes no noises. sneakily as you can, you undo your door locks and open your door to see what shes doing, only to see that sloppily dyed hair still laying on the ground, bottle clutched in one hand as her other forearm rests over her eyes.

you let out a full body sigh and internally reprimand yourself for starting to give a shit about someone before going into 'on' mode and hauling her into your apartment, which was definitely no small task. she doesnt fight you as you struggle to lift her up. you dont know ifits because shes familiar to the feel of your hands or too sloshed to worry about whos handling her. you can only stomp down the worry as you get to work.

you throw away the empty bottle, seatting at her hand that unconsciously reaches for it. when she glares at you you struggle the urge to throw her ass in the shower and turn on the chilled water, but decide thats bit the best route of action tonight. you manage to make her drink some water from the sink, take off her boots and jacket and plop down onto your bed. you rally wished youd saved up enough for a pull-out couch.

just when you turn away to put up her jacket and prepare something for you both to eat her hand locks into a grip on yours, large bruised and callused palm completely encircling your wrist as she weakly tugs you back towards her. you slowly sit back down and sit still as her head rubs into the side of your leg. the neon lights keep flashing as she visibly struggles with something before opening her eyes. the room flashes red, then purple, then blue and her hand grips yours tighter.

"'m sorry."

"its fine, vi. just fall asleep."

[wordingg]

Smells Like Teen Hormones

Summary: Charles just transferred to St. Hilarion's and sees the most beautiful boy across the lawn. Edwin Payne is the prima ballerino of St. Hilarion's dance program and a well known ice queen. But, it's not like something like that could stop Charles Rowland.

AN: I wrote this for deadboyween's free day, but got kind of stuck halfway through. This really deserves to be a lot longer and slower, but I just wanted to hit the scenes I thought was fun. I hope you enjoy it!

The first time Charles Rowland saw Edwin Payne, he almost tripped and fell on his face.

Charles had been aware when he got the sports scholarship to St. Hilarion’s that what it was well known for was its dance program. That had smarted a little bit, because Charles knew that if his skin wasn’t so dark and the type of dance that he practiced was something classy like ballet, he could have gotten a scholarship for his dancing. Instead, he got a scholarship for cricket, which wasn’t that bad as Charles sincerely liked cricket. But, it wasn’t dancing.

What Charles hadn’t realized when he transferred to St. Hilarion’s was that a dance program would have boys as well as girls. And not just fit b-boys like the boys who had been in his crew with him. No, beautiful posh boys with legs for days and porcelain skin who moved like water when they walked across the quad.

Charles stumbled and almost knocked over his new mate from the cricket team, Mark, who gave him a dirty look and shoved him back.

“Who the hell is that?” Charles breathed, not taking his eyes off the boy swanning across the grass in the center of a gaggle of small delicate girls.

Mark frowned in the direction that Charles was looking. “Who?” he asked, confused.

“That boy! The tall ballerina one!” Charles exclaimed, rudely pointing.

The boy turned and noticed Charles pointing at him and gave him such an offended look that Charles almost shriveled up like a prune.

Mark scoffed. “That’s Edwin Payne. The dance department falls all over themselves for him, but don’t bother trying to make friends. He’s a tosser, apparently.”

But, Charles wasn’t listening. The name Edwin Payne was ringing like a bell in his ears.

---

The next day, Charles went to find Crystal somewhere in the bowels of the art department. She was the only person he felt he could rely on to understand what he was going through. She was beautiful, and mean as shit, and probably his best friend in the world. Which was saying something because he had known her for about two weeks.

“Crystal, you have friends in the dance department, right?” Charles had asked, trying to find somewhere to lean that didn’t have paint all over it. If he ruined another uniform, he was pretty sure his dad would literally kill him.

“Yes, I am friends with the Japanese exchange student in our grade who is also in the dance department. Her name is Niko, Charles,” Crystal said in a long suffering tone as she tried blending in the blues on an oil painting it seemed like she had been working on for a week.

Charles winced. Based on her tone, she had probably told him a few times before, but he had forgotten. In his defense, he was neck deep in love.

“Right, the cute girl with the white hair. And, she’s in the dance department,” Charles forged on.

Sighing, Crystal gave up on her painting and turned to Charles. “Okay. What do you want?” she asked flatly.

“I think the most beautiful boy I’ve ever seen in my whole life has class with her and will you pleeeeeeease introduce us?” Charles rushed out breathlessly.

Crystal stared at Charles. Charles tried to give her his best puppy dog eyes, the ones that made all the old ladies in his neighborhood coo and ruffle his hair.

“And you can’t just walk up to him and introduce yourself why?” Crystal asked incredulously.

“Because I think I would probably die on the spot,” Charles said seriously.

Crystal let her head tip back and let out an explosive sigh. “Fine!” she groaned.

Charles jumped up and punched the air.

“But, you owe me so many chocolate milks!” Crystal said, a threatening finger pointed at Charles. “I have no idea how you hustle the cafeteria ladies out of them, but I want in!”

“It’s my natural charm,” Charles said with a grin and then dodged the wet paintbrush that Crystal threw at him.

---

What Crystal set up was a study group with all four of them: Charles, Crystal, Edwin and Niko Sasaki, the Japanese transfer student.

“It’s basically impossible to fuck this up,” Crystal had told him firmly while Charles tried not to hyperventilate in the library bathroom ten minutes before their meet up time. “Just ask him to help you with your algebra with those big wet doe eyes and he’ll be done for.”

“But, what if I ask him for help with my algebra homework and he sees how hopeless I am and he’s disgusted?” Charles asked, pulling at his hair. Transferring from a public school to a private school had a lot of difficulties, but the sudden change in curriculum was by far becoming the biggest one for Charles. He didn’t think he was stupid, but he definitely was way behind all the other students who had been at St. Hilarion’s for years.

Crystal knocked his hands away from his head and grabbed his face in her terrifying claws, squishing his cheeks. She shook him a little and Charles flailed.

“Edwin Payne is the gayest gay boy that I have ever met in my life,” she said vehemently. “And you, Charles Rowland, are the most golden retriever shaped motherfucker in existence. If he doesn’t fall in love with you immediately, I’ll eat my fucking shoe.”

“Thanks, Crystal. You’re a real friend,” Charles said wetly.

“You’re damn right I am,” she said.

Then, the bathroom door opened and a boy yelped, “Hey, what! You’re not supposed to be in the boy’s-”

Crystal kicked the door shut with her big terrifying combat boots, nailing the boy in the nose. “Fuck off, terf!” she screamed.

Charles thought he loved her a little bit.

---

If Charles thought that Edwin was beautiful from across a crowded lawn, he was an idiot, because he was even prettier up close.

He was about as tall as Charles, but he was so lanky. He had these long arms and long legs, but all his limbs were under careful precise control at all times. His hands were pretty, pale with long manicured fingers, always carefully folded or deftly handling a pencil. His face was all long lines and flat planes, like someone had crafted him out of marble or something. Except his big dark eyebrows and thick dark lashes made him look incredibly alive, every small expression made louder by the twitch of his eyebrows.

Charles felt like an idiot the second he stepped into the room with him. His hands were immediately clammy with sweat and rubbing them on his trousers didn’t seem to resolve the issue. He kept stumbling over words and talking either too loudly or too softly. He lost count of how many times he dropped his pencil on the floor or knocked the table askew with his jittering knees. He felt like an oaf.

Crystal was looking at him like he disgusted her on a personal level. Charles didn’t know Niko very well, but the intense way her big sparkly eyes focused on him gave him the impression that she was enjoying whatever incredible meltdown he was experiencing.

For his part, Edwin seemed very confused by him. Charles couldn’t blame him. He knew he was acting like a bumbling idiot, primarily in Edwin’s direction. At one point, Edwin had asked him a direction question and it had startled Charles so much he literally threw his pencil across the room. If he hadn’t wanted to sink into the floor so much at that moment, he was pretty sure based on the acidic look that Crystal shot him she would put him there herself.

When the girls took a brief break to visit the bathroom and get them all some coffee, Edwin turned to Charles with a somber look. Charles gulped audibly.

“I’m sorry if I’ve made you feel uncomfortable-” he started to say.

“Not at all!” Charles hurried to say.

“I know I can be somewhat unapproachable to people my own age,” Edwin continued.

“You’ve been aces, mate, really!” Charles insisted.

“I think it’s quite admirable that you are making an effort to improve your academics. If I made you feel any other way, I sincerely apologize,” Edwin said to his lap, looking a bit miserable.

Charles had no idea what Edwin was talking about. If he had insulted Charles accidentally during their study session, Charles had probably been too busy trying not to spontaneously combust to notice. All Charles knew was that he wanted to clear away this misunderstanding as soon as possible.

“It’s not that at all!” Charles said firmly, pressing his hand over both of Edwin’s, where they were folded primly in his lap. “It’s just that you’re proper fit and every time I look at you, I think I’m in danger of choking on my tongue a bit.”

Edwin’s eyes, previously trained on his lap, snapped up to Charles, wide and gray and beautiful. Charles stared back a little breathless. This was the closest he had been able to look at Edwin’s eyes and they were really pretty, like a pale gray, blue, green color. Charles couldn’t quite put his finger on an exact description.

Edwin’s face then flushed with color and belatedly Charles realized what he had said and his face heated, as well. Charles didn’t think he’d ever seen another bloke full face blush before. The pink went all the way down Edwin’s neck. Charles wondered how far down it went…

“Oh,” Edwin said faintly.

“Ah, sorry, that’s-” Charles fumbled, feeling all his awkwardness come back in a rush.

“No, it’s not-” Edwin mumbled, suddenly matching Charles’ stutter for stutter.

Crystal and Niko chose that moment to come back into the study room holding two steaming coffees each.

“Why does it smell like teenage hormones in here?” Crystal asked with a wrinkled nose.

“Did you guys have fun without us?” Niko asked in a sing song voice that might have been a lingering bit of accent or might have had to do with the sparkle in her eyes as she took in both of their flushed faces.

The two boys mumbled something and thanked the girls for their coffees and got back to studying quickly.

---

After the study group was over, Crystal and Niko waved goodbye and walked together toward the girl’s dorms. Charles and Edwin both hesitated on the front steps of the library.

“Hey would you-” Charles started to say at the exact time that Edwin spoke.

“It was very-” Edwin said, then stopped, both of them freezing with their mouths opening before stumbling over each other.

“Oh, so sorry, please go ahead.”

“Nah, mate. You go first.”

They both stumbled to a stop again and then fidgeted on the top step, not quite looking at each other.

Charles bit his lip and mustered his courage and asked, “Would you want to hang out this weekend?”

Edwin’s eyebrows went up. “With Crystal and Niko?” he asked slowly.

“If you want,” Charles said, keeping his face still so it wouldn’t show his disappointment.

But maybe he didn’t keep it still enough, because Edwin Payne was looking at him with all of his considerable focus.

“Would you want that?” Edwin asked. And his eyes were so odd and clear and he was looking at Charles and Charles couldn’t help but to tell the entire truth when Edwin Payne was looking into his eyes like that.

“I was wanting to take you on a date, to be honest,” he said with a lopsided smile.

And, oh, that blush was back and it looked even nicer in the fading sunlight than it had in the harsh fluorescence in the library.

“If that’s okay with you,” Charles hurried to tack on. He had never asked a boy out before. He very much didn’t want to embarrass or shock Edwin.

But, Edwin only smiled a small smile and said, “That would be quite alright with me.” Then he ripped a piece of notebook paper out of one of his many color coded spiral notepads he carried in his arms and scribbled something on it before holding it out to Charles. Charles took the paper curiously. “I look forward to it,” Edwin said awkwardly, then hurried down the steps and away across the grass.

Charles looked down at the paper in his hand. It had a phone number written across it in perfect handwriting.

Charles made good on his earlier statement and choked on his own tongue.

[elminx]

Magic for Recentering During Times of Conflict

Note: I am writing this immediately following the November 2024 election cycle, but this is not meant to be specific to this time. Nor am I inferring that magic can solve all of our problems. Please seek out help from a professional if you need it.

One of the deep truths that I have uncovered in my life is that when I am unbalanced (emotionally, physically, spiritually), I am of no use to myself or to others. When something rocks me to the core of my being as this election has, I need to feel all of the feels first and foremost. Then, I need to find a way to move on from the immediate (VERY VALID) emotional turmoil so that I don't get stuck in a pattern of rumination or pathological catastrophizing.

These are some of the ways that I do so. This list is not meant to be exhaustive and, of course, I do not expect every one of these to work for everyone. That is okay and expected. I'm also not including medical, psychological, or court-based interventions because I am not a doctor or a lawyer. Some of these tips are purely magical in nature and some are what I would call magic adjacent - they are mundane actions that are cleansing in nature.

Feel your feelings. I know I said AFTER, but I feel that I need to reiterate this. These steps are unlikely to work until you have worked your way through the first stages of rage, revolt, grief, name your emotion here. How long this takes will be different for everyone. Don't rush this.

Breathe. When I am really In It, I find meditation nearly impossible. I need to be reminded how to take deep breaths. This is when I get help—I use the Tide App for this. I set it to "Breathe," a fifteen-minute timer, and balanced breath. If you're new to breath work, start with five minutes. This is very simple: The app makes a sound for inhalation and one for exhalation. For many people, deep breathing helps to bring your nervous system into balance.

Change. This isn't a tip for everyone, but you know who you are. (I'm definitely guilty of this) If you've been wearing the same clothes for a week, stewing in your emotional turmoil, it's time to change them. Every single item you've been wearing. This may go to blankets or bedding, too. Put them all in the wash and give yourself a fresh set and a fresh start.

Wash. Take an intentional bath or shower. Wash every part of your body, focusing on removing the bad emotions with soap and washing them down the drain. You can add oomph to this by using soaps with cleansing scents (think lavender, citrus, lemongrass, sage, etc.).

Cut or Dye your hair. This is a deep take that will only work for some people, but if you're like me, cutting your hair can be a big release. It doesn't have to be a big change (though I find the bigger the cut, the bigger the release). Sometimes, making a visible change to your appearance can change how you feel. IYKYK

Small Cleansing Rituals. These will vary greatly depending on your practice and culture. If cleansing yourself with smoke or crystals really gets you, do it.

Clean Your House - stale energy is stale. Part of getting over an emotional episode, for me, is getting the energy in my environment flowing again. Open some windows. Wash your floors. Pick up the mess you created when you were too In It to do anything more than feel. This could be your bedroom, house, or space in which you spent the most time while you were down for the count. You can add oomph to this with Cleansing Vinegar.

Big Cleansing Rituals—When something is really stuck, we need the big guns. This could be cord-cutting or cleansing spells, whatever works well for you. I have a spell that works for this here.

Flush it out of you. (TW: alcohol) If you're the potion type, you can make a cleansing potion to move the emotions through your body until you eventually pee them out. This doesn't have to be alcoholic, though I like alcohol for its mild diuretic effects in this scenario. Think cleansing with citrus here, especially. My long-form lemonade will definitely work here, as would many types of tea. I have a seasoned cocktail specifically designed to do this here.

Banish it. There are too many ways to do a banishing spell for me to list them all here. But, since we are talking about explicitly banishing something from your own body - I suggest using food. Onions and black pepper are good banishing ingredients that taste great, too. I have a French Onion Soup banishing recipe here.

I want to reiterate here that if you are still dealing with your emotions stage of things right now, that is completely okay. This isn't meant to rush anyone through this process. We are all different people with different needs. It's also okay (and probably expected) that all of these things listed above won't work for all people - after all, they are things that work for me, specifically.

You need to find out what works for you. If don't know where to start right now, I hope this gave you some ideas. And, as always, if there's a method of getting through the hard shit that you'd like to add to this, please do! We could all use some new ideas for the hard road ahead.

[shixcherie]

His Favorite Problem | Choi Jongho ☆

~ ~ call me chérie ☆

Navigation | Kinktober List

Day 26 : Sir Kink

↬ [ Synopsis ] : In the middle of the bar’s chaos, Jongho’s protective instincts kick in as he spots you. But instead of showing gratitude, you can’t resist stirring him up a little too much. Now, he’s set on teaching you a lesson, and you’re in for a long night of delicious discipline from your boyfriend.

☆Word Count : 3.08k ☆Genre : Smut, Non-idol Au, Boyfriend Au, porn with little to no plot. ☆Pairing : Boyfreind! Jongho x Bartender! Gf F.Reader

☆☆☆ WARNINGS : mdni!, established relationship, mentions of alchol, bars, customer causes drama, naive but also not so naive reader, she is just an innocent girlie ( :P ), a bit back and forth between her and Jongho, a lil riling up maybe, sir kink, pet names (babygirl, lil bunny), mild praise kink, overprotective bf Jongho, fingering (fem reciveing), mid choking kink, edging, Jongho turns a bit meanie at the end and disciplines you.

NOTE : Yes… I’m going to continue and complete Kinktober, even though we’re past the 31st. I really want to finish this challenge and not leave it incomplete, so I hope you all enjoy the story, ma chéries!

The bar buzzed with its usual nighttime energy, customers filling the cozy, dimly lit space with laughter, clinking glasses, and conversations. You were behind the bar skillfully pouring drinks, chatting with regulars, and catching up with them.

Somewhere in the corner, you knew Jongho was seated with his quiet, watchful presence making sure you were doing fine and no one is causing any trouble for you.

Ever since you’d taken this job, Jongho had made a habit of dropping by on his nights off. Though he covered it up saying it was to spend time with you, but you knew the real reason he was there to make sure you were safe. You’d reassured him countless times that you could handle an odd drunken comment or lingering glances of a few persuasive customers. But Jongho just didn’t trust your naive little self. Calling you naive was just to tease you, though your heart fluttered at the sincere concern that laced his words and actions.

Tonight was no different. He was sitting at his usual spot as he sipped from his glass, his gaze never straying far from you.

You tossed him a playful smile when you noticed him watching you, but he only nodded slightly, his eyes tracing the room as if mentally noting each customer’s behavior. Just then, your heart sank a little when you spotted a familiar face in the crowd. A customer who’d been bothering you for the past few weeks.

The man had been insistent, charming at first by dropping hints about wanting to get your number and asking if you’d like to “grab a drink” sometime after your shift. You’d tried to handle him politely, knowing that dealing with flirtatious customers was just part of the job. But he hadn’t taken the hint and had started showing up regularly, getting bolder each time. Tonight, he looked no different. He was wearing a flashy smile and exuding confidence as he made himself comfortable at the bar.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he greeted, leaning over the counter. “Thought I’d find you here. Ready to give me that number yet ?”

You tensed, quickly glancing around and noticing Jongho’s gaze zeroing in on the interaction. Taking a breath, you put on a professional smile. “No, sorry. I’m here to serve drinks, not give out my number.”

“Oh, come on,” he persisted as his voice dropped to what he probably thought was a seductive whisper but sounded like an ugly seal screeching, to you. “No need to be so cold. I’ve been a good customer, haven’t I ? And I always leave a tip.” He laughed, glancing around as if expecting others to join in. To be honest, older men were never you type and this man was definitely in his late 40s and with his screeching voice and pressing attitude easily made into your list of “people to avoid” and probably Jongho’s “To kill” list.

You clenched your teeth, determined to keep things calm. “Look, I’m just not interested, okay ? You can enjoy your drink, but I’m not giving out my number. Please respect that.”

The smile slipped from his face, replaced by an irritated scowl. He slammed his hand on the counter, drawing the attention of a few nearby customers. “Scamming customers now, are you ? You don’t give out your number and you treat me like garbage? I’ve spent good money here. Think your manager will want to know how you treat loyal customers?”

The little drama caught the attention of your manager, who came running over, eyes flicking between you and the accusor. “What’s going on here ?”

“She’s been scamming me!” the old bastard spat, his voice loud enough for others to hear. “I’ve been paying extra, leaving good tips, and this is how I’mbeing treated ? This is disgraceful!”

Your cheeks flushed with a mix of anger and embarrassment as other customers began to murmur, casting curious glances in your direction. You wanted to defend yourself, but before you could even gather your words, a firm yet calm voice cut through the tension.

“Is there a problem here ?”

Jongho’s presence was that of calm authority as he stepped between you and the man, his gaze cold and direct. The customer blinked at few times before straightening himself, seemingly taken aback by Jongho’s imposing figure. Your boyfriend wasn’t one to lose his temper easily, but when it came to protecting you, there was a fierceness in his eyes that spoke volumes. Fidgeting nervously with your hand, you stood still behind your boyfriend as your gaze zeroed in on the old dude.

The bastard matched Jongho’s height, suddenly losing his brashness. “Who are you ? Just another customer ? This is between me and her—”

“Actually,” Jongho interrupted, his tone steady and deadly calm, “it’s not between you and her. You were harassing her, and now you’re causing a scene in a place of business. I suggest you take your drink and leave.”

The man scoffed, returning to his earlier arrogant self. “She’s been treating customers poorly. I’m just letting management know how unprofessional she’s been.”

Jongho didn’t even blink. “And I’m letting you know you need to leave. Now.” his tone went an octave up as he emphasised on the Now.

A silence settled over the bar, and the old bastard’s bravado crumbled. He muttered something under his breath and backed away, Jongho’s gaze was locked in on him until he disappeared into the crowd. His eyes followed him until he was sure the man was gone. Turning to you, his expression softened for a moment before returning to that stern familiar look of seriously-concern or concerningly serious. Agh whatever the fuck it is.

“Are you okay ?” he asked quietly, but there was an edge beneath the gentle cornered question.

You nodded, still processing everything. “Yeah… Thank you. I just—I didn’t want to cause a scene.”

His gaze softened, but only a bit. “You wouldn’t have had to if you’d listened to me. How many times have I told you to call me over if someone makes you uncomfortable ?”

Your face flushed as you glanced down, embarrassed and a little defensive. “I thought I could handle it.”

Jongho shook his head, letting out a low, frustrated sigh while his hand gently carassed your hair. “You think I’m overprotective, don’t you ?”

You managed a small, guilty smile while you peaked up to met his eyes. “Maybe just a little.”

He chuckled, though the stern look in his eyes remained. “I’m taking you home. You’re done for tonight.”

“But my shift isn’t—”

“I’ll talk to your manager,” he said, already turning towards them. “They won’t mind. And we’ll discuss this when we get home.”

Your heart skipped a beat, the authority in his voice sending a shiver down your spine. You knew that “discuss” wasn’t just a casual term. He was determined to make a point, and you had a feeling it would involve some strong and firm words and maybe even a “lesson” to strengthen his words.

As you gathered your things and prepared to leave, you felt a strange mix of anticipation, excitement and nervousness. Jongho’s protectiveness might drive you a little crazy at times, but there was no denying that it also made you feel cherished.

And tonight, it seemed, he was intending on showing you just how much he cared.

The whole car ride was filled with back-and-forth arguments—him insisting you should leave this job so you wouldn’t have to deal with difficult clients and could stay safe, and you countering with “I can take care of myself” and that you didn’t always need to be looked after, which clearly dismissed him. Slowly, you could feel the air thickening as, intentionally or not, you countered every single point he tried to make about the job.

“I won’t always be around to fix your problems,” he said, sounding frustrated.

“And I don’t need you to. I can handle them myself,” you replied, crossing your arms.

“It’s not a safe place for you,” he insisted, gripping the wheel a little tighter.

“I’m perfectly capable of staying safe,” you shot back.

He let out a sigh. “Just quit that stupid job already.”

You met his gaze, stubborn as ever. “Nooooo!”

He rolled his eyes. “Stubborn as ever.”

You shrugged. “Takes one to know one.”

Jongho’s car stopped abbruptly outside your house, and he turned to you, his eyes sharp and unwavering. His clenched jaw made it clear he was not having it and was gonna combust any minute.

You tried giving him a reassuring smile as you turned towards him. “Jongho, quit worrying,” you teased gently. “I know I am your favorite problem to take care of but I am fully capable of handling myself.”

He met you in the eye as the corner of his lip went to a smirk, “A ‘favorite problem,’ huh ? You sure are babygirl.” His hands gently carassed you exposed thigh, rubbing the smooth skin as the mini dress you were wearing slid up a bit while you were busy arguing with him.

This is how it begins You thought as you gulped while you heart raced at the thought of whats about to come your way.

“Jongh-” You were soon cut off as his grip tightened around you thighs, a red tint creeping up your skin as a tiny yelp left your lips.

His voice was low, edged with warning .“You were calling me what again babygirl ?”

“S-Sir…Jongho sir. Sorry” You replied in a sudden polite tone, which was not yours a few minutes ago.

As you stammered your response, Jongho’s grip on your thigh tightened just a little more, his eyes glinting with something unreadable yet intense. Without another word, he shifted, one strong arm looping around your waist and tugging you toward him. The motion was quick, leaving you with barely a moment to react before you were guided into his lap, legs draping across him.

Your hands instinctively found his shoulders for balance as you tried to steady your breathing. His fingers pressed firmly against your lower back, pulling you even closer, and you could feel the warmth of his breath brushing your cheek.

Before you could process the straddling position you were in, his lips captured you with anger and hungry desire which you reciprocated with equal lust. You hands messily tangled with his hair while his large hands captured your ass, grounding you on his now hard length which very evidently poked against your thighs. His tongue licked you bottom lips, occassionally biting and earning a soft moan out of you. You lower half was busy grinding against his clothed hard legth while tugged his roots, urging him to keep going.

Ohh…if this is way he plan on teaching you a lesson, you would happily push his buttons, You thought as Jongho deepened the kiss, his tongue explored the deliciousness of your mouth while his his hips rolled beneath you, providing just the right amount you friction to satisfy the ache of your clothed dripping core.

The steamy kiss continued for a few more minutes as he guided you hips with more need, quickening your pace while drinking up all the pretty moans that left your lips. As you rubbed your core against him, you could feel the yourself just over the edge. You movement became needy as you broke the kiss and held him close while an intense release was ready to wash over you. Jongho smirked as he held you close while his hands mercilessly rocked your hips over his length.

“Jongho…ughhh…I am soo close” You whimpered as you nestled you head in the crook of his neck, you hot breath tingling his skin while he gently carassed your hair, “A little bit more baby” His voice soothed the release that was about the wash over you like a tidal wave when all of it abruptly stopped.

You were shocked and whimpered, deprived of an almost at the egde release when he meets your eyes, his hands off your hips, not grinding anymore as well, a devilish smirk danced on his lips.

“Jongho what the fu-” You whimpered as you hastily tried to pull his hands back to your hips. Only this time it did not work as he grabs your hands behind you while pulling you towards him, his hot breath fanned against your ears as he murmurs, “Told you honey, this is my lesson. I teach it how I want, Understood ?” He asked, a breathy low chuckle reached you. The reality hit you as recovered from the deprived release as you slightly nodded, meeting him in the eye.

“Words honey. Use your words” He demanded, tightening his grip around you hands, definite to leave finger marks.

“Yess Sir” you squeaked out.

“That’s like my little bunny” He replied, smiling but still having that authoritative look on his face which tells you he wasn’t done with you here. “Turn around for me, babygirl. Will you ?”

You obeyed, not wanting to be deprived of another release, especially as your body was now greedily craving one. You settled back on his lap, straddling him while your back rested against his chest. He worked on the zipper, and the dress smoothly slipped off your shoulders.

“You love it when I’m like this with you.” His mouth latched onto the skin of your neck as he covered it with kisses and bites, his large hands finding your breasts. He cupped them, kneading gently, while continuing his assault on your neck. His fingers pinched your nipples a little too hard, earning a yelp.

“Yes, Sir,” you managed, though words were getting harder to form as he grew more handsy, making you bite your bottom lip. Jolts of electricity coursed through your body as he alternated between pinching your nipples, circling them with his fingers, and then pinching again, a little harder. Your body trembled from the delicious pleasure his fingers alone could give, filling the car with soft, pretty moans.

Thankfully, no one was on the empty streets to witness the fun inside the BMW parked discreetly across the road. His tinted windows concealed you both from the world outside, while inside, your world was falling apart in his embrace.

Satisfied with playing with your breasts, his fingers slid down toward your aching core, leaving goosebumps wherever he touched. This wasn’t your first time, but it always felt like one—especially on nights like these when you riled him up a little too much. His fingers pinched your sensitive clit, sending a shudder through your body, before he rubbed at your wet opening. His other hand found your neck, fingers carefully wrapping around your throat as he whispered, “Looks like the lesson got a lot more intense, huh, babe?”

“Ahhh…Sir, I need… I need you right now. Please.” You begged, the release you were deprived of now paining you, and your aching core was proof. He kept the pace, gently rubbing your folds while his grip around your throat tightened, making your breath hitch. His finger slowly entered you, leaving you breathless all over again.

His thick fingers were a lot for your tiny opening, stretching you just enough to make you gasp, and a loud moan escaped your lips as he moved them deeper inside,while tears pricked in you eyes for how intense the whole experience was getting. His mouth was close to your ear, murmuring Look at you, falling apart so easily. Didn’t think you could be this desperate for me.” His voice was a mixture of mockery and heat, making you shiver as he continued, his grip on your throat holding you in place, exactly where he wanted, the pressure making each breath feel headier. Each movement of his fingers seemed to pull you further into an intense, heated haze that left you trembling.

Then, like icing on the cake, he added another thick finger, filling you completely as he increased his pace, each thrust measured and deliberate, each one pulling you closer to a tipping point while tears rolled off your cheeks at the intensity of the moment.Each of thrust precise and deliberate, leaving you even more breathless and whimpery with each passing second. “Next time, remember what happens when you test my patience.” His fingers moved in and out of you, building an overwhelming rhythm that left you breathless, the air thick with the sound of your soft, broken moans.

Your body couldn’t keep up with the overwhelming rhythm he’d set, a mess of broken moans filling the air as you struggled to hold back.Your teary eyes squeezed shut as your face turned toward him, nestling into the crook of his neck, your breaths growing deeper, more ragged. His grip held you steady as his pace intensified, pushing you closer and closer. The tension built to an exquisite peak, until your body finally gave in, trembling and unraveling completely around his fingers as you came undone in his embrace.

As the last tremors subsided, you felt his hold on you soften, his once-commanding grip now shifting into something more gentle, more comforting. He wrapped his arms around you, holding you close against his chest as your breathing slowed, both of you basking in the calm that settled in the aftermath. His fingers gently traced along your back, a small but tender gesture that reminded you, after all this dominating play, that he was, after all, your sweet and hella protective boyfriend.

With a soft laugh, he pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead. “So,” he murmured, a teasing glint in his eyes, “think you’ve learned your lesson?” His tone was lighthearted, affectionate— a contrast to his earlier intensity.

You couldn’t help but smile, feeling a warmth as you looked up at him. “Maybe,” you replied playfully, resting your head on his shoulder. “But I might need a few more reminders.”

He chuckled, his arms tightening around you as he let out a contented sigh. “Good thing,” he whispered, his voice full of warmth. “I’m not going anywhere, when I have so many problems to solve here.”

“Me being your favorite one” you chuckled and cringed at what you just said, while he laughed softly and held you. No one was moving or attempting to get inside the house.

~ ~ Chérie ☆ signin’ off

DISCLAIMER: This is totally fictional and not a real depiction of the ATEEZ members. It's all just for fun only so please don’t take anything seriously and keep the mood light around here.

© ShixCherie.

[jackiestarsister]

DuckTales (2017) series reaction

I never thought I’d be so entertained by the adventures of hyperactive ducks, but it turned out to be really enjoyable!

I never really conceptualized Disney’s mainstay characters (Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, etc.) as real characters. They mostly seemed like mascots used in the Disney parks and merchandise, or stock characters that could be slipped into any kind of story. I didn’t see any continuity between different works featuring them, or know of any official canon timeline. The thing that usually draws me into a story is the characters’ development and relationships, so Donald Duck and his family didn’t hold much interest for me.

That was until YouTube made me aware of some of the characters and events in the DuckTales reboot. I learned some spoilers that intrigued me, and then did what I often do with shows that have finished their run: watch clips and sample episodes about the characters I’m interested in. But I realized that there had been a lot of buildup to what I watched, and I’d have to go back to the beginning to fully understand the story. So a few weeks ago, I watched the first episode of the old series to get a little foundation, then dove into the reboot. I watched the series finale tonight.

This show had a lot of things I love to see in stories: interactions between characters of multiple generations; parents and children learning to work together; long-lost or separated family members finding their way back to each other; and charming recurring characters. The structure was excellent, with plotlines and character arcs that carry through each season, and over the course of the whole show.

The voice cast is fantastic, for major and minor characters alike. Nearly every episode prompted me to look up the voice actors and figure out where I’d heard them before. It also reminded me of many other cartoons I’ve enjoyed, including Kim Possible, Steven Universe, Carmen Sandiego, and Voltron: Legendary Defender. A few episodes are clearly inspired by classic movies, such as Jaws and The Martian. And the more I research the show, the clearer it is that the writers love the source material and pay homage to it while building their own story.

I’ve never seen another Disney work where Donald and his family are fleshed out as characters with complex personalities and compelling arcs. The triplets Huey, Dewey, and Louie have different strengths and interests, and a pretty realistic sibling dynamic, instead of being basically the same person in triplicate. My favorite characters were Della Duck, Goldie O’Gilt, and Fenton Crackshell-Cabrera (voiced by Lin-Manuel Miranda!). But, I probably relate most to Huey’s eldest-sibling mentality and thirst for knowledge, and Webby’s enthusiasm and tendency toward obsession in hobbies.

The creed that “Family is the greatest adventure of all” was a little heavy-handed, but that does not make it any less true. Even though most of the characters are related, there is also a strong theme of “found family.” And another theme emerged through multiple characters’ arcs: embracing the unknown with courage and solidarity. That is something we all need now.

In short: DuckTales is one of those reboots that honors the past but also grows beyond its predecessor to tell a new and enjoyable story for both old and new fans.

“Face each new sun with eyes clear and true Unafraid of the unknown, because I’ll face it all with you.”

[qoldenskies]

You’ve mentioned a couple of times how frail Donnie is, and how much weight he lost in the three months of the curse, so I’m kinda wondering; exactly how bad was the weight loss? Cause there was one point, don’t remember when, where you said Leo vomited the first time he weighed Donnie, and that he hadn’t really been eating much, even with the curse broken

its uhhhhhh bad! i dont have anything exact (not a doctor, mutant bodies are weird, as well as their metabolisms) but he was definitely STARVING starving, he's still very thin even now. he lost a deadly amount of weight and he's struggling to get it back, it's a part of the process mostly skimmed over (its been roughly 3 weeks to a month since he woke up for the first time, i dont keep exact dates in my head but i do know CW will end on new years so shrug. time's fluid) but yeah its been. a bit of a struggle to keep food down, especially since he spent what was likely days wolfing it down pretty much the second it was put in front of him. because he expected it to be taken from him. he's better about that now, especially now that he's started squirreling food away <3

i imagine its going to be a STRUGGLE to get muscle definition back especially, he's going to spend a long time with leo being bulkier than him and that was his one flex 😔...... and i especially imagine its going to be hard to build his endurance/go back to combat when there's problems like the fact that he. probably cant spar his brothers either, when its implied they used to do that regularly. im sure that wont cause any complexes at all /lie

^^^ ALSO IM REALIZING THIS HAS PROBABLY STUNTED HIS GROWTH TOO..... im so sorry you'll never be taller than your twin cc donnie... you deserved dat

[gazeofseer]

𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒄𝒊𝒕𝒚 𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒂𝒌𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒔𝒐𝒖𝒍?

𓇼🐚☾☼🦪 🎀🫶🏻💌💓

••....••°°°°••....••°°°°••....••°°°°••....••°°°••....••

Texas, Australia, United States and California, You are a queer by soul who lives by their own even amongst the crowded room, seeking something as distant and indifferent to what seems the same after all, but subtle do you fear the idea behind crossing lines, edges that drew scars around your borderline of heart the reason you easily withdraw the click and connection with places and people, you feel everything should be new as each passing moment because anything that stay longer bored you because you feed in daydreams and expect teh same dosh to be served outside around you, but all you taste is something different but not you.

Guidance : You are looking for yourself from within by blocking all the external settings and invites believing the world to be a harm to your existence throughout your journey down the lane to changing seasons and places so far, now you are just tired and tormented wanting to settle but truly can't keeps you restless.

Leo sun, Aries Rising, 8, Saturn in 9th house, Silver accessories, Denim Jeans, You brought something last week still waiting to be worn.

I see you are not only brain fogging but also bloating with overwhelming thoughts and emotions at the same time because you want but you don't, you don't but you want so badly, you have been guided to not make any decision right now, and not to hang in either, changes kept happening, but you are holding something beyond it did. It could be a little picture or a memory too, let it go to where it belongs it will harm you in the long run. Stop sitting with disappointment, disgrace or insult. Let that find peace within you and embrace these changes as a chance for you to strike this fog with the sword of your consciousness on if the very next second you would die, what will you do in the given second of the moment? Chose what is right, and needed for now that is how you lead life always rightly despite the wrong being gifted.

Netherland, Germany, Scotland, Denver & Amsterdam, there are eerie chills to your soul which plays chivilrious in the darkness and acts demure in the light, like a nasty kid you carry the flaws around the forest creeks but throw a elegant gaze the moment a eye flickers upon you, the mask of basking in solitude feels so enchanting enough to thrive through life beyond its hardship and pain, you take it as gift for the one who got none even sorrow becomes the only life present before.

Guidance : The ostracized child, who was not even a count nor in the quantity or quality leave the first and last of being a choice but never an part of any option to even begin with? I feel you started to heal enough that you understand the value of pain you received so far and treat it exactly right that it has become your that safe home which strengthens you instead to tame, instead of guidance your spirit guides have messages 'That, we really appreciate your pure heart and acknowledge your being of existence as of great as of the any other living, we are around you, when you believe you are lucky enough after seeing something weird l, quirky and unique because that is who you are and we show up there'

Fox teddy, bear, herbivores, cozy vibes, brown eyes, eyeglasses, Aquarius Venus, Capricorn Venus or sun, writing a novel or blog, secret lover.

Paris, France, Italy, London, Russia and South Korea, What beauty of it doesn't scares a bit right? It took you a trail blaze or ages to burn down and pave one path for you that fire runs through your body despite the sickness you feel in your heart and fatigue you carry on your soul, the more you get tested the more pure you mold into the miracles and become the magic itself, you accept the essence of love, that sets free, wild and at the arms of death where one can love so truly to the depths of each feels and moves of life.

Guidance : Okay, so this pile has been through a lot bodily or mentally the sickness which prolonged seems like a default, or your mistake or an accident which made you be on bed for rest and feel this helplessness from the echoes of the room and beyond the sky where slowly you discovered and connected to your soul and learned the ultimate truth of being all that you need to yourself exactly when you need yourself.

'Hey, sorry to interrupt I am just worried and kind off ..sorry again how are you? I hope you are doing well now, I promise I am on my way please, kindly don't give upon me, for that I have not yet arrived into your life, all the lovers you met were the lie you told yourself to hold yourself tight in your head, but let go the grudge and find me within your heart whenever you look into the mirror with those doe eyes, those two flicks of your hair curls around you ear I did kiss those cheeks with freckles and toughened skin, I did hold you like the witch who carries her wretched wand in her power and strength, I love you, can you hear that, I say that everyday before you sleep'

Well, that was tear jerking right? Give me a second.

Important Updated my services list do check (;

[sturniolo04]

The Confession 3 C.S.

Fwb!Mean!Chris x Fwb!Fem!Reader

A/N: I tried something different :)

A/N: If you don't like the preadded name in my stories, you can either add your own name or not read it; it's up to you :)

*Really long you have been warned.

it has been a full week since madi and Matt have been together and since Jess's Mom visited Boston and jess has been extremely distant with Chris. Anytime her and madi come over to our house she always in Nick's room and its honestly kind of bugging chris because she's his best friend she can talk to him about anything... right

it's been a week and it is Sunday and Jess and Madi are at our house and Jess had routinely made her way to Nick's room but today was kind of different. Keep in mind Nick never talked to her about what they saw with her and chris a week ago because it is not his place but because today she seems a little off.

"you okay over there"

he states to the girl pacing back and forth in front of his bed

"yeah why wouldnt i be"

you reply stopping in your tracks to do so

"you seem weird you sure"

"yeah im okay"

"okay"

he trails off looking back at his phone but then building up the courage to ask you the question he didnt really want to ask

"hey so jess"

"hm"

"you and chris... do you.. you know like him"

"what why would you ask that no ew"

you exclaims already knowing youre is lying

"oh my god you little liar you totally do"

he exclaims as he notices her blushing at the mention of his name

"thats so bad i know"

you state covering your face

"does he know"

"no" 

you trail off

"ive been being extremely weird about it ive been avoiding him since last week and i think he knows thats what i have been doing."

"oh so am i the first person to know"

"no i told madi and her mom first last week after mcdonalds and everything"

"what" 

"yeah it just came out i wasnt trying to confess that at that moment it just happened."

you trail off looking at you phone to see a imessage from the one and only Christopher

"who is it"

"chris"

you sigh out setting your phone on the floor next to you where you were sitting

"what does he want"

"to talk" 

"oh" 

"yeah and im just not ready to say it yet at least not to him"

"so what are you going to do then"

"not talk to him"

"madi"

"what if i talk to him i freeze up his makes me nervous and i dont want to admit that to him yet"

"understandable but he's still your bestfriend and you cant avoid him forever"

"yeah i know"

you exclaim laying on the floor as Matt and madi walk into Nick's room

"jess.."

"yess madii"

"she doesnt want to talk to chris and is avoiding him"

"i think everyone noticed you were purposely avoiding him"

"its that obvious"

"uhh yes" 

she states looking at jess

"ughh"

you exclaim covering your face

"come on"

she states reaching your hands out for jess to grab

"where are we going"

"to film a youtube video"

"noo im staying here"

you pouts sitting on nick's floor again knowing you would be sitting next to chris in the van

"J come on it will be fun"

"for me please"

she pouts as you gives in standing up and grabing your shoes

"ill get chris"

he states walking back downstairs to find him sitting on couch on his phone

"hey loser"

he shouts grabbing his attention

"we are leaving to go film come on"

"fine"

he sighs out as madi and jess and nick have finally made their way downstairs making eye contact with jess

"lets go already"

you state breaking eye contact grabbing madi's hand leading her out of the door

"why is she being like that"

he finally exclaims to his brothers looking at matt then nick who were standing in the same room 

"i dont know she's.."

he trails off looking at nick

"jess'

"what the fuck did i do i have no fucking clue at all"

"ask her"

"i tried she completely ignored my text messages"

he confesses as nick and matt look at each other

"lets just get this video filmed and we will figure it out"

he states walking of the house with them

You were completely not paying attention to what we were even talking about you were just simply staring out the window ignoring everyone

"HELLO earth to jessica"

"what"

you reply bluntly looking at all the eyes on you

"did you hear the question i asked you"

"no"

"wow okay"

he states offended getting out of the van with Matt following

you heard the question clearly. he basically asked you to admit what your problem is with him and why you have and am ignoring him still.

"jess"

"what im sorry"

"youre breaking him"

"i dont mean to i just"

"okay you need to say something"

"no madi i cant"

"you have until the end of our Hawaii trip to do so"

"no nick come on thats like 2 weeks"

"exactly figure it out"

he states getting out of the van to find matt and chris

"what going on with you jess"

"I dont knoww madi i just have been so scared he wont like me back like that"

"thats why you wont say anything"

'yeah its not that i dont want to  i just dont want to get hurt"

"yeah i know"

she trails off as the front van door opens to reveal matt

"hey can you sit back with jess chris is actually upset"

he states as madi nods her head as jess start silently sobbing as everyone switches spots

"matt drop us at our house please"

she states breaking the unbearing silence in the van from everyone

"okay"

he replys as he looks at jess trying to sob silently

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