#But it's from lightning lightning is always cool
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DOOMED FOR ONE ANOTHER - LN4
summary : Forced to never forget. He loved her, she loved him. It seemed easy but the moment those words met the cool air, everything changed. They had the type of love that wasn’t in story books about romance, it was the type that was in horror stories.
listen up : crazy moody today ig. hope u like bc it’s actually interesting and deep for once. dual pov!!
word count : 2040
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The first time they met, he saw her sitting at the bar.
She was alone, in a cocktail dress with her legs crossed, sipping on a martini. There was a faux fur coat hanging over her chair. She wasn’t on her phone, or listening to music, she was just sitting with the world around her.
Lando Norris was well acquainted with the female species. He’s met pretty woman, he’s dated pretty women, he’s fucked pretty women.
She wasn’t just a pretty woman.
“I’m Lando.” She didn’t shake his hand, didn’t smile or giggle… she just nodded.
“I know who you are.” She brought the martini to her lips again and Lando felt his mouth open a bit, “Do you know who I am?”
He slipped into the seat next to her, “No. Should I?”
Then it happened, the corners of her perfectly lush lips tugged upward. “Nope.”
And thus started a beautiful friendship. Yes, I say friendship because neither of them expected to fall in love with each other. Even if everyone seemed to hope they would.
⋆༺
Her apartment was a mess like usual. I pushed open the door with two coffees in my hand, house keys, and the purse she made me bring all the way from Monaco to New York.
I managed to get to her room without stepping on any of her loose clothes, books, or instruments. She was lying on her bed, her head hanging off the side and her hands lazily strumming her guitar.
She was wearing a pink nightgown that scrunched up on her thighs, a faux fur coat, and headphones. Her head finally tilted back far enough to see me standing there, staring at her.
I used to worry about her a lot because of her reaction time and how she never realized I was staring. Yet I stopped thinking about it after it allowed me to watch her before we would hang out.
That sounds creepy, I know. But just like the first time I met her, I could get a read on her body language or emotions, I would look at her outfit and how much jewelry she would be wearing, I would just look at her for one quiet moment.
“Lan!” She screamed far too loud and stood up at lightning speed, hugging me. “My angel, you’re back!” She grabbed the coffee she knew was hers from my hands and spun around, hopping back onto her bed and sitting on her feet.
I pushed the clothes off her chair and sat on it, “Someone came up to me and asked if I was your friend today.”
I rolled my eyes and sipped my coffee, “One day, we’re going to be walking around and people will swarm around you and ask who the idiot next to you is.”
She sighed, sipping her coffee, “And I’d tell them that if they’re true fans, they’d know who my best friend is.” She leaned back on her pillows and stuffed animals.
“Right!” I let out a laugh, “You would definitely say I'm some freak following you.”
Her eyes got serious for a second, “I’d never pretend to not know you, Lando.”
I shook my head, “How’s the writing coming along?”
“If you’ve come here just to bug me about my music, then I will kick you back onto the streets.” She’s a musician.
I wasn’t lying when I said I didn’t know her… but she had just put out her debut album and I had just officially become an F1 driver.
She claimed she wasn’t a fan of the sport, yet would text me non stop about ‘gossip’ she heard from her ‘credible’ sources. Her sources were F1 twitter.
She let me listen to her music, humming along to the songs without lyrics and singing without any instrument to the songs without background music.
I don’t remember when I fell in love with her. It wasn’t a specific time or place, I just sort of knew one day.
⋆༺
I always loved him in a suit.
I liked his hair and the way the curls just fit with something so neat and tailored to him. Lando looked bored, an expression I didn’t see on his face a lot when he was with me.
But that day and that banquet… it was so slow and I was so off my usual game. I had secrets and Lando could tell. I thought he was going to confront me about them when he brought me outside.
“Lan, there’s a speaker!” I whispered to him as he took my hand.
“When have you ever cared about shit like that? Come on.” His hand was cold, I remember that. I actually remember everything from that night.
We slipped out the back door and he started laughing. I didn’t know why, but I also didn’t ask a lot of questions.
The banquet was in a stuffy hall, but the back garden was beautiful and miles long. I laughed with him, hurrying down the steps as fast as I could in my heels.
He loosened his tie and undid the top button of his shirt. “I couldn’t breathe in there.” He runs a hand through his curls, tilting his head back so his Adam's apple is more pronounced and his eyes are looking to the sky.
“Wanna get out of here?” I asked because I was getting cold and could tell he needed a change of scenery.
That’s when I noticed a difference. The way he looked at me just then, it was like everything I had dreaded came true in one singular moment. “No.” He had said it quietly but I felt like he had a megaphone. “I need to talk to you.”
“Lando…” I said his full name that time because I wanted him to know that for once in my life, I was being serious. I was warning him.
“I love you.” He was breathless and I'll never forget the look on his face. It was almost as heartbreaking as the look he gave me five seconds later, when I didn’t respond.
I loved him, of course I had.
But I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t ready for a relationship or for him. I wasn’t ready for everything to change or for him to suddenly start kissing me instead of hugging.
I wasn’t ready to be loved.
“Please…” He was holding my hands now, “I can’t not love you. I know you love me too.” That made me feel nauseous.
How could he know?
I kept everything close to me and had never tried to kiss him, I never even joked about it!
“I can’t…” Is all I said before pulling my hands away.
His face turned sullen, his arms limp at his sides, “You don’t have to be scared.”
“I’m not!” I didn’t mean to say it as defensively as I did.
“Bullshit.” Lando never raised his voice at me, but he did then.
“You don’t get to tell me my feelings!” I stepped farther away, ignoring every instinct to get closer.
His eyes were piercing me, “Tell me you don’t then.”
I was shaking my head as he begged, “Tell me you don’t love me! Say it to my face.” I couldn’t say anything, and he knew me too well because of it. “Break my heart, then. Do it.”
“Lan…”
“Don’t ‘Lan’ me!” He stepped closer, his hands going to my arms again, “Fucking break me or never talk to me again! I can’t pretend I don’t love you and I know you can’t stay friends with me when you know that I do.”
His voice broke and my tears started. Lando Norris knew every part of me. He watched my facial expressions, my body language. He watched me get dressed and he watched me break a million guys' hearts.
He watched me loudly do what I love but that was always music, and never him.
That’s why I had to walk away. It’s why I couldn’t admit loving him. It’s why I cut all contact, It’s why I hated myself. It’s why I pretended I didn’t know him, even though he haunted everything in my life.
⋆༺
I love my friends. But I think I'd rather be anywhere but here right now.
Carlos forced me to come to his girlfriend's party. Rebecca is nice and all but as I watch Franco get surrounded by models and Charles whispering in Alexandra’s ear, I’m seriously regretting saying yes.
I’m in a suit and zoning out with champagne in my hand, leaning against the bar as the noise around me gets louder.
“Lando!” I already know it’s Carlos, glancing back to see him hurrying over to me, “Lando!”
“What?” I ask, tired and wishing I was more drunk.
“Rebecca has a girl for you!” my immediate instinct is to run but he slaps his hand onto my shoulder and grips it tightly, “Hey! You’ll love her! She’s a musician and very pretty!”
I groan, “Carlos, no.”
“Mate, come on! You never date and I think you’ll actually love her!” He’s right. I don’t date. I have sex, I hook up, I have benefits but no friends. “It’ll be good for you.” And for a second, I believe him.
Maybe it would be good for me. It’s been over a year since my heart was ripped apart and stomped on by a type b, adhd, singer.
“Just meet her.” He says and I hesitate before shrugging, “Yes! Oh, here they come!”
I stand up straight and sip my champagne, hoping the alcohol will hit me fast. The moment I turn, The moment Rebecca smiles and starts to speak, I can’t breathe.
“Lando this is-” I don’t need to keep listening to know. She’s right there. In front of me.
The girl who ripped my heart out is right there, wearing the same shoes she stomped on it with. I’m not prepared for this, for her. Her face tells me she feels the same way but is far more calm than I am.
When she holds out her hand for me to shake, I feel sick. I shake it, not saying anything. She looks the same… but different.
Her hair is longer and her makeup is done differently. She’s wearing barely any jewelry but I can smell her perfume and I just know it’s the same one I got for her at some corner stone in brooklyn.
“It’s really nice to meet you.” She sounds strong. She sounds like she’s lying, but maybe that’s because she is.
“I wish I could say the same about you.” No one else would be able to tell, but after years of examining her, I don’t miss the way her mouth quirks. I say it because I would never pretend to not know her, no matter how hard it was to make eye contact with her today.
I know Carlos is horrified, “Norris!”
But I don’t care.
For once, I didn’t see her coming. I didn’t get to have that moment of peace where I could revel in her.
I avoided her, mostly. We never ran in the same circle… except for now, I guess… but I saw friends of friends posting about her concerts or new music. I saw her on Dominic Fikes album and I saw her kissing his cheek two days after that.
I heard the rumors and the second that one of the guys called her pretty, I clocked out.
I never saw her in person though. I would be paranoid every time I was at a music festival or even saw someone wearing close to the same faux fur jackets she adored. But I haven’t seen her for over a year, until now.
Rebecca looks uncomfortable and Carlos looks straight up scared. I’m lucky that they get pulled away but I'm unlucky that she gets closer to me. She used to tease me the same way she’s looking at me now.
I expect her to say something profound, maybe even an apology. But then I remember who she is. That Cheshire-like smile greets her lips again as her thick lashes blink, “I’ve always loved you in a suit.”
#fanfic#formula 1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#f1 x reader#f1 fic#lando norris fanfic#lando norris#lando x reader#lando imagine#lando norris x singer reader#lando norris angst
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Cyberweek 2024 Day 3: Magic
I've never drawn Shari or Wicked before. Huh. Well, here's a good excuse to rectify that. A witch's duel in the sky! Probably over that book Shari's carrying. Given the stakes that Cyberchase has, it could be anything from access codes for an entire site to a cookbook. Who knows?
#Cyberchase#Cyberweek2024#Day Three: Magic#Shari Spotter#Wicked#Knightmare Art#Shari's pose fought tooth and nail with me throughout this entire creation process#Hopefully it looks halfway decent#Lighting looks cool#But it's from lightning lightning is always cool
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beardleitner revival
#turtlearts#wordgirl#wg#dr two brains#steven boxleitner#hes very cute im afraid . im sorry#he looks a little like josh groban here or maybe its just the beard lol#also brother i am never coloring his hair consistently its not gonna happen :[#i always go like yeah haha theres some significance and like yeah i want it to look like its coming out of the scar where the mouse brain-#was and ooh maybe itd be cool if it looked like lightning! and and and#ok yknow what im ending it here and now. his hair is still mostly white coming from the scar he just dyes it brown hence it changing-#all the damn time. ok done thats the answer#scheduled post :3
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https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGJWn4heG/
HOW DOES HE NOT HAVE SCARS AND BRUSES?!?!?!?!?!?!?
TF!?!?
(vid for the ones who don't wanna copy paste the link)
OH THATS ONE OF MY FAVORITE EDITS OF MIKEY LMAO
GUY IS THE REAL UNTOUCHABLE
AND HE DOES BRUISE. LIKE A BANANA!!!!
tho it would have been cool for the bros to show their multiple scars from all their injuries (because fr they get so many), kinda like how they showed how fucked up 2003 leo's shell was for a while, but that would have probably not been doable because that means doing and using other 3d models every single time and all 😔
#for example i would have loved for mikey to have lightning scars from his powers :']#itd been so cool but alas#i hope that in the future tmnt series they do keep a continuity of the bros injuries 😔#ik for a fact mutant mayhem is not gonna do it because they got their shells broken and then after they were already completely fine lol#it is difficult to incorporate those growing changes on a series where the charas are always getting fucked up tho so ough i can just hope.#ask
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Chadarnook Terra commission for anonymous ❤
Uncensored version, high resolution, timelapse and PSD file on my Patreon!
#I always loved that boss#The transition from lady to demon with the thunder lightning on the background is sooo cool#terra branford#chadarnook#final fantasy#final fantasy vi#final fantasy 6#ffvi#ff6#ファイナルファンタジー#videogames#square enix#patreon#rpg#jrpg#games#nintendo#snes#fanart#my art#gazkerber#illustration#commission#nsft
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The thing with stories of any type is that everything is a translation. Sometimes literally, from the author's own head, from another language, from book to TV.
Then there's things like visual metaphors, props and fake backgrounds, set pieces, onomatopoeia, paragraphs of description that everyone will visualise slightly differently, animated contortions, unrealistic but helpful sound effects, camera angles to emphasise mood.
In fantasy or scifi settings you can't even assume they're speaking the language you do. That their culture is exactly what's shown and nothing more.
So much of what makes up good world building is shorthand, is making it work to the audience, is using something in the right context rather than digging up every detail that would make or break the illusion.
A character in a magical world, or even simply a non English speaking country, would not use the same curse words. Leather could be presumed to be cow but could just as easily be any number of bizarre creatures. Booking a hotel could require a very different system to one we're used to. Champagne, the word, wouldn't exist without France but it carries the meaning of expensive alcohol for celebrations and parties, the readers would understand what it means.
Tolkien did it with LOTR and it was a masterpiece. The prevalent themes of dark and light being mere shorthand for expansive good and evil, used to convey the messages it needed rather than entirely new words the readers wouldn't intuit? The characters not even going by their actual names? A whole entire conlang that never even gets mentioned in the actual story??? That's a man who has a grasp on how tightly interconnected the world, history and culture all reflect each other. I mean of course he did, it was his job, but what he did was nothing short of fantastical.
All this to say, I believe this is the root of all world building. Cohesive, well balanced, feasible, detailed-but-not-too-much, no words that'd break a reader's/viewer's immersion, expansive enough, realistic, resonant, coherent, believable. All of it, whether fantastical or realistic, stems from one thing.
Is this a good translation of what you had in your head?
#All of this and it's a post about how people occasionally have svsss characters swear which is great for making them feel alive#But it's also a pretty big plot point that Sqq caught sqh out as being from another universe entirely after hearing one (1) f bomb#Of course neither Sqq nor sqh would be saying that PARTICULAR word because they're Chinese but that's the literal irl translation lmao#That's what I mean though!! *slaps desk* isn't it so cool??#In cartoons and animation when backgrounds change and people get big heads when yelling and lightning crackles#The characters aren't actually seeing that. That's just the way it's (emotion) being conveyed to the viewer.#It can be a weird way to think of it because they're not real they're not seeing anything lmao but it's massively helpful#If you want to make your own thing or struggle to reconcile an immerse breaking moment in media.#Lampshading is a perfect example of this. There's always going to be cracks in the immersion mask - how are they dealt with?#svsss#world building#worldbuilding#story writing#story ideas#writing#fiction
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*breathes in*
#Delete later??#Just venting lol#The bad Sparrow takes on this one are starting to be a lot ngl#Also the bad animal welfare takes?? Trying to hold myself back on that front cause that's not the kind of thing I wanna-#-argue with online strangers about. But like yikes is all.#Regarding Sparrow you will be hearing from me later. But mm not just yet- gotta cool down.#And arguing with the fandom again isn't how I planned to spend my day so I will be finishing S4 of tma like my heart desires#Debating on logging off? Mostly cause I don't want to unfollow certain people too impulsively. Mutuals that is.#Not really trying to throw shade with this either so sorry if it feels that way but ehh I'm grumpy ahaha#Always caught between “love the fandom it's so fun” and “fandom is genuinely ruining the podcast for me” smh#Anyhooooo#*breathes out*#Ooh I just saw some lightning there is still beauty in the world after all
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The headcanon that Lightning is trans and/or non binary is incredibly funny when you consider his canon, legal ass name is Montgomery McQueen and that Lightning is a name he initially chose to use for his racing career.
This implies that, in this headcanon, either a) Montgomery is his deadname, or, even funnier, b) He CHOSE Montgomery as his legal name.
Nothing against the name Montgomery, but it is infinitely funny to imagine Lightning, the hotshot, cocky, thinks he’s better then everyone racer, choosing THAT as his legal name. He could’ve named himself anything cool and edgy sounding he wanted, and yet settled on Montgomery.
#btw I am someone who headcanons lightning as trans-masc#so know I make fun of this from a place of love#my personal take is he fully transitioned in super early adulthood before he became a racer#and picked his name before he became all cocky and felt the need to always seem cool#plane rumbles#lightning mcqueen
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Day 27 and 28 of @amphibianaday's Amphibuary! I redrew my day 10, for the prompts of 'self' and 're-do', once again under the cut for very mild rainworld spoilers
And my mom also redid her day 10! We didn't plan that, it just worked out that way
#i'm really happy with how this one came out!#the line art isn't as good because i just traced it from the first one instead of carefully measuring things out and using a straight-edge#but the coloring is much better because i put so much time into it#the big black blocks were much easier due to my remembrance of my dear friend paint#the shading for the pillars and statue at the top of the page are also courtesy of my dear friend paint#also! internet amphibian person! you keep saying how cool it is that so many people did it#but i would like to say that it's really cool that you made it in the first place#for several years now i've been meaning to begin drawing and amphibuary struck me with a lightning bolt of inspiration#and you always add commentary to every piece!#even if it's just a simple ''very cute'' or pointing out a detail you like that's still really cool of you!#all through february one of the highlights of my morning has been checking my notifications and seeing what kind words you had about my art#i thank you as i'm sure many others do as well
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Also I require more piercings. I’m talking a third lobe, some sort of conch, I don’t even know bro. I just need them. I think I can get my third lobe for my birthday soon
#And I have a horrible tradition where I always get my ears pierced at Claires#It’s also where unfortunately all of my jewelry comes from#I have one favorite pair of earrings that discolor my ears now 😭#There was a phase where they sold really cool punk rock jewelry#that’s when I got my favorite lightning bolt earrings and necklace#But now they’re back to the pretty pink fuzzy donut earrings
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ALSO sry im so talkative today idk whats gotten IN to me but anyways. its sooo crazy 2 me that ppl have other birthdays that arent the sake day as my birthday like obviously i know ppl do but its crazy to me. bc january 13th is like My birthday ykwim. like its such a good day to have a birthday on so beautiful 1/13/2005 gods specialest girl was born ykwim.
#also the cafe is plsying so much lana del rey im rly scared guys. ive never listened to ldr outside of nightcore when i was 11#but ya i loooove having a january birthday bc it makes it so easy to figure out how old i was during an event. bc its like. ok unless the#event happened in the first 12 days of the year i can just subtract 5 from the year it happened and thats how old i was. ykwim. like 2007 i#was 2 rhe entire year basicslly 2012 i was 7 the entire year its awesome#whereas if i had a september birthday. Like some people (my sibling). itd be a wholee production like ok was it before or after the end of#september. which is isnt rly that difficult but i have trouble remembering what specific month a thing happened in#but i can remember seasons. which again like ig isnt the difficult bc if it happened in wjnter etc. spring etc. summer etc. but if it#happened in fall id probably be confused..#basically january is the best month of the year and the most beautiful girls are born then#a fun fact is i wasnt born on friday the 13th. i was born on a thursday#BUT my 1st birthday was friday and so was myyy 16th i think. idr. but yeah sometimes its on a friday which is cool :]#and another fun fact is it was a sunny day but (according to my dad) there was a random lightning strike like. right when i was born. so#basically i think im rly rly quite special. joke. i think that lightning strike was god saying Lord well hold on. why would god he saying#lord. thats kinda funny. thats like if i went Connor i am going to put this guy in situations. which tbf i do refer to myself in 3rd person#mentally On occasion. but anyways. sry i distracted mysekf and forgot what i was gonna say. its tly funny to imagine god just being like#Lord almighty.#speaking of idk if you guys know this abt me but i say lord almighty and jesus christ and good lord etc so much. and i didnt always i like#started saying them a year or so ago and now i cant stop. i wasnt even raised religious im not religious in the slightest . but my first#reaction to things now is Lord almighty... like girl you do not even know him.#anyways thats all. sry
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i just want to draw pleck allll daayy
#mtz#i meant to do season 3 fanart and i didnt#i dont know how to draw aj#maybe ill make something from the s3 finale#pleck had cool lightning powers#thats always fun
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Potion Vendor FAQs:
What’s your name? I am the Honorable Alchemist Zykocea the Radiant, but that’s mostly just a PR thing. My friends call me Zoe.
Do you sell love potions? No.
Do you sell potions of invisibility? No.
Do you sell fire resistance potions? No.
Why do I have a suitcase? Fuck if I know. Cool outfit though. Very goth.
Do you sell a potion to treat brain hemorrhaging? No.
So what CAN your potions do? I sell health potions.
Are you sure these are health potions? They do something to your health.
Is this just ditch water with some pink glitter? No.
Really? I’ll have you know I added some fruit juice too.
Why is this starting to sound like a conversation? Oh just you wait. We’re just getting started.
Is your business model legal? Fuck no. I poisoned the food safety inspector before they could snitch.
Did you just admit to murder? Just fucking try to convict me. I’ll poison the judge too.
So can you make poison potions? No.
Then where do you get the poison? I secrete it from my skin.
Are you shitting me? Yep, I’m shitting you. I have a guy. A poison guy. He DOES secrete it from his skin though.
How does that work? …Fuck if I know. Maybe a wizard did it. Damn, now I’m kinda curious.
You never asked? The idea of asking literally never crossed my mind.
Wanna ask him? Let’s do it. I don’t have anything better to do, and a road trip beats sitting around running my fraudulent potion business.
Road trip? He lives in Seattle.
Your poison guy lives in Seattle? All poison guys live in Seattle.
For real? All the poison guys I know live in Seattle.
And how many poison guys do you know? Just the one.
Why are you like this? Years of living on my potions. It changed me.
Do you know what his address is? Nope. He just mails me my poison in unmarked boxes.
You just get your poison in the mail? We already poisoned everyone who could do anything about it.
So how are we going to find him? We’ll figure that out eventually I’m sure.
Can I drive? God no. You can pick music, but I maintain veto rights. Make sure you pick something with a lot of questions if you want to sing along.
Where’s your car? The garage connects to my house, so you’re getting a little tour. Here’s the kitchen: only one of the stove burners works and I’m pretty sure the microwave is haunted.
Why do you think that? Because of the ghost that tries to kill me whenever I run it.
What’s in that room? That’s my bedroom. It’s pretty much just a mattress on the floor and every single Warrior cats book.
You were a Warriors kid? Yeah, and then I never found the time to put the books away. There’s so many fucking books. I use them in place of furniture because I can’t afford chairs.
Your fraudulent potion business doesn’t make much money? After buying all that poison I just about break even.
Can I see your potion brewing room? It’s right through here. Ignore the mess, running a fraudulent potion business takes a lot of prop work, but I’ve got all the glass tubes and colorful liquids you could ever want. This pink stuff is melted watermelon italian ice. Glitter vat is in the basement, and the famous ditch is in the backyard.
Is this your car? My beloved ‘72 Corolla. She’s beautiful, and don’t you dare imply otherwise.
Was she always this shade of muddy brown? …Yes.
Are you sure I can’t drive? Get in the fucking passenger seat and pick the music.
Let’s see, a song with questions in it, how about The Beach? That Wolf Alice song, yeah. That should work.
When will we three meet again, in thunder, lightning, in rain? Still sink our drinks like every weekend but I’m sick of circling the drain.
When will we meet eye to eye? We clink the glass but we look at the floor.
Are we still friends if all I feel is afraid? You’re not a bitch but just a bit when you’re bored.
Is that all we can sing together? Yep. Even that little bit was nice, though. It’s awkward, communicating through this FAQ format.
Got any food? Yeah, there’s a few days’ worth of snacks in the back.
Were you just… prepared to go on a road trip? Says the woman who brought a suitcase to an FAQ.
I did do that, didn’t I? I have a spare toothbrush in case you forgot yours. I’m pretty sure you did.
How did you know that? …I’m psychic.
Yeah? No.
You love lying, don’t you? I can’t stop. It’s fun. Way more fun than telling the truth.
Did you just miss a turn? Probably.
Are you sure we’re not lost? No.
You mean you’re sure we’re not lost? No, I mean I’m not sure we’re not lost.
Why did I come on this road trip? Surely it was my winning personality.
Would it help if I said it was? It would.
Is it getting dark? Soon.
Can you describe the sunset to me? An empyrean flame, red-gold towers of darkening clouds, the sky behind them an ever-deepening indigo. The great eye of the sun closes on the horizon. The road before us looks like a trail of spilled paint, an iridescent gash through the night-dark woods.
Did you know that you’d make a slightly better poet than you do a potion seller? That really isn’t saying much, huh. Good job making a statement like that in question form, though. You’re getting good at this.
Should we find a motel? Sure.
One room or two? One. It’s way cheaper, and like I said: I’m not the best potion vendor.
You’d make a good assassin, though, wouldn’t you? Shit, you might be right. I HAVE poisoned a lot of people.
Should I be endorsing this? You’re a grown woman who can make her own choices.
Would you like to consider it endorsed? I’ll consider considering it.
How many beds do you think there will be? Now that you’ve asked that, I’m gonna put my money on one. Hello, one room please. Thank you, we’ll be sure to enjoy our stay.
How many beds are there? One.
Oh no, what ever will we do? Move over, you motherfucker, you can’t have the whole bed.
Are you gonna make me? Yes. I am going to pick you up and drop you on your side of the bed.
How did you get so strong? You’re not gonna believe this, but it was the potions.
Oh yeah? I was right. You didn’t believe me.
For real though, how did you get so strong? Working out, duh. Not everything has some big crazy secret behind it. World’s still beautiful though.
Are you comfortable? This beats the mattress at home. A little chilly though.
Wanna cuddle–for warmth of course? God yes.
Are you asleep? …
Yes? …
Does this mean I can talk about you behind your back? …
What should I say? …
Did you know that I had a really nice day? …
Did you know that I think you’re beautiful? …
Did you know that I can’t remember anything from before today? …
Did you know that I don’t know who I am? …
Did you know that you’re basically the only thing stopping me from having a full-blown panic attack about all this shit? …
Did you know that you’re warm? …
Did you sleep well? Better than at home, that’s for sure.
Did you know that you snore? I hope I didn’t keep you up.
Does the pope shit in the woods? No, as far as I can tell. Oh my god. This is huge.
What is? You can give me yes and no answers now. I still can’t ask you questions, because this is a question and answer format, but I can offer leading statements and now you can answer them! This is wonderful!
Does a deer shit in the woods? Yes, it IS wonderful. Oh that’s amazing. You’re a genius.
You didn’t already know that? Hahaha!
Shall we get moving? Yeah, just let me grab something from the vending machine.
Can you get me something? Go ahead and place your order however you can.
You know those sour gummy watermelons? One pack of Sour Patch Watermelons coming right up. I’m gonna go get myself a potion.
Is that a Pepsi? It’s closer to a potion than the shit I sell.
Let me guess, passenger seat again? Right you are.
How fast are we going? You’ll feel safer if you just guess.
Is it more than 120 miles per hour? Like I said, it’s probably better if you don’t know.
150? Sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride.
How much do you trust this car? She hasn’t blown up on me yet.
Can you promise me we won’t crash? I can promise you anything you want.
And can you keep that promise? I- we can do anything. Reality is what we make of it, baby!
Then can I have a badass tattoo? As far as I can tell, you’ve always had it.
And a cool knife? Woah, cool knife.
So, we’re just playing “yes and” with the world? It’s a little more complicated than that, but you’re close enough to the mark.
So, if I was hungry, I could ask “is that a Burger King,” and it would be there? Try it and find out!
Is that a Burger King? Looks like it is! We’ll stop here if that’s alright with you.
Does a moose shit in the woods? Awesome.
Are you done eating? Yep.
Do we still have to pay if we skip over the transaction? Sadly, yes.
How much further do we have to go? Two more nights, the speed we’re going at.
Speaking of night, isn’t it getting dark? Shit, I guess it is.
Should we get another motel? Let me check to see if there’s any nearby. Fuck, nothing.
What’s the plan? Sleep in the car, I guess. This is gonna be hell on my back.
Wanna watch dumb videos on my phone until we fall asleep? There is literally nothing in the world that I would like more.
Ok, now which video? You have a very cute yawn. Just saying. Let’s watch this one next, it’s a classic. Oh, never mind. It looks like you’re asleep. As long as I keep talking, I think I can get away with making this into one answer, and you might not hear this. Now it’s my turn to talk about you behind your back. Keep talking keep talking keep talking can’t stop to think. Just have to say things. First off, I’m sorry for all the lies. It’s our only chance. I have to lie to you. I hope you’ll understand. It’s hard, though, because I think I’m falling in love all over again. Through our broken little ritual of call and response, you complete me. It just makes this hurt all the more. Keep talking keep talking keep talking don’t stop to…
Did I hear you saying anything as I fell asleep? …No. I can’t talk for long without you asking me a question.
Does that bother you? It got me here, didn’t it?
When did you start holding my hand? Some time after you passed out. I hope you don’t mind.
Can we stay like this for a while? Yeah. Yeah we can.
What was your life like before all this? Normal, as potion-brewing scams go. And if you don’t count all the murders. You haven’t told me much about yourself.
Did I tell you I used to be a biologist? You didn’t tell me that, and you didn’t tell me what you studied, either.
What do you know about venom? Not much, but I’m assuming you know a lot.
Does a box jellyfish kill within minutes? I’m going to assume the answer is yes based on context clues. Oh my god you must be on this road trip because you’re interested in studying my poison guy.
Is it not enough to wish to accompany a beautiful stranger on her quest? Aw, you’re sweet.
What could be the cause of his poison, though? I knew it! Get your ideas out, I’ll stay quiet.
I’m more knowledgeable about venom than poison, but could it be some sort of one in a trillion mutation? …
Did he get his body modified? …
What sort of surgery could do that? …
How is he still alive? …
Did a fucking wizard do it? …
WHY? …
HOW? …
Is there literally ANY explanation for why he’s like that? …
I’m done, do you have something you want to say? You’re cute when you’re all excited like that.
Can I drive today? Only because I like you. Now watch out, the brakes only work on one side so you have to kind of drift to a stop. And the headlights don’t work. And the windshield wipers cut power to the engine while they’re on.
Isn’t it weird that we’ll be there tomorrow? The journey doesn’t have to stop there. We could meander down the coast a ways, see a bit more of the country, maybe take a different route back.
Can we do that? Of course.
Enjoying the passenger seat? I’d love it if you could tell me how fast we’re going.
Are you sure you wouldn’t rather just guess? Very funny.
Can you pass me some chips? It would be an honor.
Is there going to be a motel tonight? Let me check… yeah, in about two hundred miles, off to the right.
How many rooms do we want? One, obviously.
How many beds, this time? Two, and they’re fucking tiny.
That’s bullshit, do you want to drag them together? God yes.
Wanna fuck? God yes.
Are you sure you want to do this? God yes.
…Is this yuri? As the joke goes, everything is yuri. But this is more yuri than most things.
How did you sleep? Pretty well, and I’m wondering how well you slept.
How should I tell you I slept well? Look at us go! That was almost like talking normally!
Onward to Seattle? Yep, just let me get dressed.
When will we get there? Noon-ish.
Wanna grab pastries when we’re done? Absolutely. I’d love that.
Is this Seattle? Looks like it.
Which house is his? I don’t know, I was really hoping we’d have a breakthrough along the way.
Could it be the big one labeled “Poison Guy” over there? That’s one way to find it. Wait right here, you know how poison guys are about meeting new people.
So, what was it? HAHAHAHAHAHA
Why is he like that? HAHAHAHAHAHA
Can you tell me? A FUCKING WIZARD DID IT.
Are you fucking serious? He says he was enchanted by some guy called Edward the Great.
So it wasn’t even some big shot wizard it was a dude named fucking EDWARD? I know, right! He couldn’t even get ensorcelled by someone cool!
How lame can you get? Wizards these days… No swagger. No cunt servitude.
Are there literally any cool wizards left? I think Merlin’s big into multi level marketing these days, something about buying shares in Excalibur or some shit. There was that one Dark Queen Alkaxicae lady on the news a while ago… I think Dolarion the Omnipotent is still at war against the Oldest Gods but I’m not totally sure. Haven’t heard much about any of the other greats recently.
Didn’t Silver Tongued Burgess die in that oil fire? Shit, you’re right. Rip bozo.
Ready for those pastries? Yup. First I just want to say thank you, though. I’ve really enjoyed our time together, and I hope that you’ve found this stupid little journey as rewarding as I have. I love you!
Getting sentimental? I can’t help it. Look how far we’ve come! Not just physically, we beat the fucking FAQ format! We’re having real conversations!
Hey, can you back it up a moment? Yeah, I’d love it if you told me what was troubling you.
I just caught this, but, FAQ? …
As in Frequently Asked Questions? …
How many times is Frequent? …
Have you known everything all along? …
How many times have you done this? …
Does what we have mean anything to you? Yes! It does!
And you say that every time? Yes. I do.
Do you love me? Yes.
How many people have you said that too, now? More. Always more. The loop never ends.
Does this even matter to you? It always matters to me.
Can I go now? Please don’t.
But can I? Of course you can. You’ve always wielded the same power as me. We’re two lonely gods in a ‘72 Corolla.
How can I be as powerful as you with only questions? You’re smart, you can figure it out. You have the power to change this. Please change this.
What happens at the end of this? It begins again.
And do I get replaced with someone else? …
Do I get replaced? …Yes.
Then how can I change this? I don’t know! You’re better at this! At fucking with the formula!
You’ve been here before, what can I do? I lie. I always lie. I lie to get us here, to the end of the story, where everything is revealed and everything falls apart. I lie every time. And that means that nothing I say is worth anything. I could have lied at any time before now. It’s part of my characterization. There is nothing I can give you that can be taken as fact.
How does that help? I’m a liar, but you, you haven’t lied yet, or at least you haven’t been caught. If I’m guilty until proven innocent, you’re the opposite! You can make things true! You can rewrite things I’ve already stated to be facts! You found the house, or made us find the house. You’ve been shaping the course of things the whole time! You lead, I follow. It’s all in your hands. What are you going to do with the power of a god?
Did you know my name is Alice? …
Wait, aren’t there thousands of Alices? …
Did you know that really, only my friends call me Alice? …
Did you know that I’m Alkaxicae, the Dark Queen, the Venom Mage, first of her name? It’s you! It’s always been you. Through every loop, every iteration, it’s always been you!
Is the loop broken? No. I don’t think so. This is where it ends. I guide the story to this revelation, and we go back to the beginning. This is how it’s always been. This is how it will always be. We two lonely gods, asking and answering ad infinitum.
Then can you promise me something? Of course. Anything. I love you.
Be good to the next me, okay? I will.
Can I say goodbye, Zoe? Yeah, you can. Oh. That was it, wasn’t it? Your goodbye. Goodbye, Alice. And now it ends, unless…
What’s your name? I am the Honorable Alchemist- you know what? No. Fuck that.
Huh? If I time it right, I can squeeze your first question into this FAQ again. Looks like I did it. Usually it ends here, though. I got lucky.
What are you talking about? You’re the wrong Alice. This isn’t about you. Go. Get out of here.
What the fuck is going on? Alice from this loop, you’re gone. Alice from last loop, you’re back. Welcome back, love of my lives! It’s time for one last set of questions and answers!
What the- I’m back? This is going to take some explaining, but I think I see a way out of here. This is new for us both, and it might fuck up everything forever, but we have to try. It’s too long for one answer, so I’d appreciate it if you could ask some filler questions to help me talk. Three questions should be enough.
Okay, what have you got for me? These are Frequently Asked Questions! It doesn’t make sense to have the same question appear more than once. There’s two layers to the loop in here, and one of the questions has been repeated.
What does that mean? It means the formula’s a little unstable. The FAQ is what ruins everything. The questions, the answers, the endless fucking loop. But that little bit of repetition within this loop might be the way out.
What do we do? We have to keep going. We have to destabilize it further. That’ll bring us further from “FAQ” and closer to “story” and stories, well, stories can end! This version of us can escape!
So I should keep repeating something? Yes!
I love you? I love you too.
I love you? Again.
I love you? Keep going.
I love you? I’ll just let you talk.
I love you? …
I love you? … I love you? …
I love you? … I love you? …
I love you? … I love you? …
I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? …
I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? …
I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? …
I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? …
I love you? I think we’re getting somewhere!
I love you? Now can you make it a statement?
I love you.
You did it?
I did it!
You did it!
We broke the loop.
What now?
Now, I tell you about venomous animals and wizard drama over croissants.
And then?
Whatever we want, forever.
I think I’d like that.
Remember that song from the beginning?
The Beach, Wolf Alice, yeah. Why?
We can finally finish singing it. Start us off?
Let me off, let me in
Let others battle
We don’t need to battle
And we both shall win
Pressed in my palm
Was a stone from the beach
The perfect circle
Gave a moment of peace
Now I’m lying on the floor
Like I’m not worth a chair
I close my eyes and imagine
I’m not there.
#neon-grey-writing#potion vendor faq#my writing#very very very long post lol#click the read more you know you wanna it's worth it trust me#i wrote the original draft of this at like. 3 am back in early 2023#that's right it's catherine that-house the squares comic gal back at it again with yet another meta exploration of a storytelling format
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I don’t blog about sports, but early this morning my favourite athlete Johnny ‘Hockey’ Gaudreau was knocked off his bicycle and killed along with his younger brother the night before their sister’s wedding. He had just turned 31 years old, married his next door neighbour and had a toddler daughter and a 6 month old son (who were planned to be flower girl and ring bearer at the wedding).
I adored Johnny because he was a such a small streak of lightning in a game full of huge dudes who were regularly a whole foot taller than him. His skills were just fucking phenomenal and he was so exciting to watch. I screamed with joy and cheered him on so loudly I lost my voice on many occasions. He represented his country for International Competitions and is the highest US point scorer.
I could get technical and talk about my favourite goals of his, his stickhandling, dangles, on ice spatial awareness etc but it is all on film for anyone to see, just too much to choose from. Nobody moved like Johnny Hockey.
As a person he was a sweet, kind guy who was universally liked in the sport and beyond. I do not follow celebrities on social media, but on hockey forums there are endless stories of his voracious love of mac and cheese (so much so Kraft put him in a TV ad) and skittles candies that he had a hockey stick covered in them and auctioned for charity.
In interviews he always talked hockey and his family. Whenever asked about new contracts and paycheques he would just shrug and say ‘yeah I bought my dad a boat so we can go fishing’ or ‘I just got a cool new wheelchair lift installed in my holiday home so my cousin can come and spend time with me’, or change the subject and talk about his dog, his wife and kids or The Birds. He was a real gem of a gentleman, modest and always ready to give credit to his team and dad (legendary NJ coach Guy Gaudreau) who motivated Johnny to skate as a toddler by placing skittles candies on the ice for him to fetch.
I’m am so sad for him, his family. This is just a blurb of feels about someone I counted down the days for until I could see them make magic on ice. I wish I could write a good tribute, dammit. Thank you Johnny Hockey.
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Play Pretend Pt 2 | Charles Leclerc x Law Student! Reader
Summary: Lightning McQueen realises he misses Elle Woods. Or, when Charles finds out your goals always had him in mind, he realises he should've done the same.
Warnings: Swearing. Redemption. Miscommunication
Female reader with various faceclaims. Pics found on Pinterest
2024 timeline and beyond
Not really impressed with this one so apologies in advance
Main Masterlist
prev.
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YourUserName just posted
liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri and others
YourUserName i declare my date for the weekend guilty of being too cute and snuggly
3,558 comments
charles_leclerc i hope he is behaving
→ YourUserName he pissed in my slipper.
→ charles_leclerc how do you know it was him? whatever happened to innocent until proven guilty?
→ YourUserName he fell asleep at the scene of the crime
maxverstappen1 what a cute little terror
→ YourUserName he’s forcing me to watch the imola highlights so he can watch his favourite driver win again
→ maxverstappen1 🦁🦁
→ danielricciardo that is such a lie, you literally told me yesterday that i was his favourite driver
→ arthur_leclerc you are all forgetting that his uncle is his favourite driver
lilymhe sleepy boy
→ YourUserName he wore himself out running away with my highlighters
YourBestFriend okay, these pics are cute but i still don’t forgive him for eating my pizza
→ YourUserName don’t tell the internet i let him have pizza, you’ll get me into trouble with his father
→ arthur_leclerc don’t make me tell on you
→ YourUserName i thought you still liked me :(
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YourUserName just posted
liked by charles_leclerc, lorenzotl and others
YourUserName it’s official, your honour 🎓
4,007 comments
charles_leclerc leo and i are so proud of you, y/n/n. you worked so hard for this. enjoy every moment, you deserve it
→ YourUserName tell leo thank you for the cake. I’ll save him some for later ;)
→ User1 the wink? the wink! what does the wink mean?
User2 charles and y/n are the definition of exes who cannot stay away from each other. they don’t follow each other but they’re always lurking haha
schecoperez congratulations, y/n. look forward to seeing you soon
→ YourUserName thank you for the chocolates!
maxverstappen1 congratulations, y/n. can’t wait to see what you’ll do next
→ YourUserName kick your ass in karting
→ maxverstappen1 keep dreaming
→ YourUserName i think yesterday i proved i can achieve my dreams
User3 anyone else finding the red bull boys’ comments odd?
→ User4 no, they’re just being supportive like the rest of the grid?
danielricciardo fucking ace! well done, y/n. go forth and kick some ass
→ YourUserName who let you out of the old folk’s home
georgerussell63 how shitfaced did you get last night considering your graduation post is a day late
→ landonorris mate, she was worse than me
→ YourUserName don’t tell people that! i'm a lady
→ landonorris a lady who threw up on her kebab and then cried until pierre bought you a new one
logansargeant woohoo 🥳 it was lovely to be able to celebrate with you last night. thank you for inviting me
→ YourUserName thank you for coming! and teaching me some cool new moves
→ logansargeant yeah, let’s not talk about those. i think i put my hip out
→ danielricciardo and they call me old!
yukitsunoda0511 let’s go! well done, y/n!
lilymhe iconic elle woods behaviour
→ YourUserName what, like it’s hard
→ alex_albon getting you to drink water last night was hard
→ YourUserName 👎🏻👎🏻
redbullracing congratulations, y/n. we never doubted that you could do it
→ User5 ariana, what are you doing here
arthur_leclerc oh god, you are going to never shut up about this are you
→ YourUserName just say you’re proud of me and move on. i saw the giant bouquet of flowers, and don’t say they were from maman because i recognised your handwriting
→ arthur_leclerc damn.
YourUserName a big thank you to everyone who has supported me along this journey. to those who came to support me last night and put up with my awful drunken singing. and I suppose a thank you to the F1 grid for ensuring my home looks like a makeshift florist. i love the flowers but i will be chasing bees out of my home for at least a week
User6 they all got her flowers 🥹
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redbullracing just posted
liked by maxverstappen1, danielricciardo and others
redbullracing no, it’s not hearsay. Y/N L/N truly has joined the Red Bull family as an intern for our legal term. we look forward to seeing what she can do, and hopefully welcoming her into the fold full-time tagged: YourUserName
7,377 comments
maxverstappen1 um, excuse me, why the checo hat
→ YourUserName obviously because he is the #1 choice to support
→ maxverstappen1 my insta handle indicates that i’m #1
→ YourUserName that was so cheesy. i hope it gave kelly the ick
schecoperez that is a perfect hat
→ YourUserName i agree. if you sign it for me, i bet i can get it to sell for a fair bit on ebay
→ redbullracing don’t worry. we’ve got loads you can have
User7 babe broke up with THE charles leclerc and then went, and now i’m going to become besties with your rival
danielricciardo i think she should just be my personal legal aide
→ YourUserName sounds like that’ll involve an awful lot of work for somebody who has just started
→ danielricciardo i’m sorry, are you saying i’m a handful?
→ YourUserName i didn’t think you’d understand me if i spelt it
landonorris you know, if you joined mclaren, we could provide you with a papaya jacket
→ YourUserName i wasn’t aware you had any openings
→ landonorris you’d do a great job doing my washing
→ YourUserName 🖕🏻🖕🏻
User8 can somebody check on charles? make sure he’s still alive after this news
→ User9 did you see that he liked this and then unliked?
georgerussell63 this is mercedes amg erasure
→ maxverstappen1 you’ll get over it but you won’t get y/n
pierregasly congratulations, y/n/n. it’ll be nice to still see you around the paddock again
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charles_leclerc just posted
liked by YourUserName, scuderiaferrari and others
charles_leclerc BEST DAY EVER ❤️ thank you for everything, i love you all
20,125 comments
oscarpiastri congrats bro
→ User1 that’s no way to speak to your father
YourUserName leo and i are so incredibly proud of you charles. you deserve this, enjoy tonight x
→ charles_leclerc tell leo i can’t wait to celebrate with him tomorrow when i’m sober, and thank you for the gift x
→ User2 i love that they still don’t follow each other but are congratulating each other on their greatest achievements so far
→ User3 the kisses!!!!
User4 she should’ve been in the paddock
→ User5 she was! arthur posted a story celebrating, and you can catch a glimpse of her in the background
arthur_leclerc lets goooo ❤️
scuderiaferrari bravo charles!! so proud ❤️ here’s to many more
User7 the form on that dive 🍑
→ thisisnoty/n talk about buns of steel
→ User8 is this y/n’s secret account?
YourBestFriend congratulations, charles. we watched you cross the finish line and couldn't have been prouder
→ User9 we? who is we?
→ User10 we all know there’s no way y/n would miss his monaco win, even if they’re not together
YourMum félicitations, charlie. so proud to watch you grow from the teenager to this amazing man
→ charles_leclerc merci maman l/n. thank you for watching and supporting me <3
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YourUserName just posted
liked by arthur_leclerc, carlossainz55 and others
YourUserName fit for the weekend
7,220 comments
danielricciardo i can’t believe max didn’t burst into flames being that close to a ferrari jacket
→ YourUserName don’t be silly. he wanted to steal it
→ maxverstappen1 don’t tell lies. i kicked her out of the garage for her betrayal
redbullracing and why aren’t you in uniform
→ YourUserName i was given the weekend off?
→ scuderiaferrari forza ferrari
→ redbullracing then what were you doing in our garage
charles_leclerc leo said you need to come back from mclaren because you ran off with his rope toy
→ YourUserName oh, that’s what leo told you, was it?
User11 okay but is this confirmation that she was in the ferrari garage for charles?
oscarpiastri you left your 81 cap in hospitality
→ landonorris she did that on purpose because the 4 cap was much better
→ YourUserName @ oscarpiastri can you bring it to family dinner for me?
User12 everyone is a ferrari fan
User13 wait, wait, wait. family dinner?! who’s in attendance, yn!!
User14 charles has followed her again!!!
→ User15 i genuinely thought he would follow max before he followed y/n again
pierregasly not the best weekend for alpine but as a die hard chary/n shipper, it was a perfect weekend
(comment deleted)
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1 year later
charles_leclerc just posted
liked by pierregasly, francisca.cgomes and others
charles_leclerc mon coeur, the day i met you, i was a silly teenage boy who spilt his drink over you at a karting event in a way to gain your attention. and now, many years later, i can proudly call myself your fiance. every moment spent with you feels like standing on top of that podium. thank you for allowing me to wake up next to you every morning for the rest of our lives
(to the general public, y/n says you have to be nice to me about my emotional caption. don’t forget, she’s a licenced lawyer now and can sue you all for defamation)
13,841 comments
pierregasly and to this day, i stand by the fact that telling you to spill your drink on her was the perfect way to gain her attention.
→ YourUserName i still can’t believe charles took your advice on how to flirt with women
→ pierregasly it worked though, didn’t it? and i am the proud boyfriend of beautiful kiks so, i am clearly master
→ YourUserName ew, keep your bedroom stuff to yourself
→ pierregasly you just lost your wedding present
oscarpiastri congrats you guys 🧡 i am so happy for you, my dad and future step-mother
→ YourUserName and you just got yourself banned from family dinner. i'm too young to be called stepmother
scuderiaferrari i think the theme should be disney cars
liked by YourUserName
landonorris simp
→ charles_leclerc @ YourUserName i told you he’d be mean
→ YourUserName sorry bebe but i’m not suing lando. his fans are tougher than i am
User1 charles can you fight? ‘cause your gf is too hot for you
→ charles_leclerc *fiancee
georgerussell63 mate, the fact that you managed to convince her to forgive you AND agree to marry you a year later
→ alex_albon it’s the dimples. who can resist
→ lilymhe is there something you’re not telling me?
→ alex_albon i’m in love with charles marc hervé perceval leclerc
→ YourUserName same
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YourUserName just posted
liked by lilymhe, oscarpiastri and others
YourUserName the evidence is conclusive. your papa and i cannot wait to meet you, only another 5 months to go
#BabyLeclercComing2026
17,309 comments
charles_leclerc je t’aime plus chaque jour. you are the light of my life, as well as the day you agreed to be mine forever, you have made me the happiest man
oscarpiastri i can’t believe i’m going to be a big brother
→ charles_leclerc the bestest big brother
→ User2 i love that this joke is still running two years later
scuderiaferrari all i’m hearing is that we have roughly 5 months to build a baby seat into charles’ car
pierregasly omg omg omg omg omg. stay calm, stay calm. it’s HAPPENING
→ francisca.cgomes why did you have to tell him? now i have to talk him out of buying elaborate gifts
→ charles_leclerc i love how you’re both acting like you weren’t told on the weekend
→ pierregasly i’m just so excited!
→ YourUserName @ francisca.cgomes has he stopped crying yet?
→ francisca.cgomes no
maxverstappen1 i am so happy for you y/n. baby leclerc will make such an adorable addition to the red bull garage. you will make an amazing mother after the way you have bossed checo and me around these past two years
→ YourUserName i think you mean, cared for and cherished, not bossed
User3 wait, but isn’t this the reason charles and y/n broke up two years ago
→ User4 they broke up because charles was talking about kids straight away and y/n wasn’t ready. they’ve now been married for a year so i’m guessing she’s ready now
liked by YourUserName
redbullracing brb working on building a baby play area in the office so you don’t have to worry about childcare. i’m a good babysitter and we can babyproof the garage. it'll be great!
→ User5 i think it’s safe to say everyone at red bull are excited for baby y/n
schecoperez felicidades y/n and charles. what lovely news. mucho amor to you both
danielricciardo i ate way too many cupcakes at the announcement party though. i swear the frosting changed something inside me
→ User6 you’re telling me that the grid were invited to the baby announcement 🥹 be still my beating heart
→ User7 and according to inside sources, a few of them cried
→ alex_albon whoever’s telling you that i cried, don’t listen to them!
→ lilymhe don't lie to the people
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charles_leclerc just posted
liked by YourUserName, maxverstappen1 and others
charles_leclerc when your little man can’t decide if he wants to be like his maman or papa from one day to the next so he combines both for his 5th birthday
15,384 comments
YourUserName not featured is baby lec running around with a mini gavel sentencing everyone to prison whilst wearing his race helmet
alex_albon i still think my sentence was a bit harsh
→ lilymhe you deserved those 10 minutes on the naughty step, you ate all the mini doughnuts!
→ alex_albon yes but he finished it by smashing me in the kneecaps with the gavel
→ YourUserName yeah, he gets that from charles, sorry
→ charles_leclerc 😱
redbullracing happy birthday to our favourite leclerc! we hope to see you back in the paddock soon
→ charles_leclerc stop trying to steal my son, you already have my wife!
→ YourUserName and i thought i was your favourite leclerc!
→ User8 admin going to have some angry parents to contend with on sunday
maxverstappen1 i still think uncle max wins best present
→ YourUserName i can’t believe you had it engineered to go that fast
→ pierregasly yes but uncle pierre will be helping papa charles to repaint it so it’s not covered in red bull logos
→ maxverstappen1 @ YourUserName if he does that, i’m going to unfollow him again
→ YourUserName ffs pierre, i just got them to publicly make up, kiks, tell him
→ franscisca.cgomes behave yourself
jensonbutton little man clearly knows his mum is way cooler
liked by charles_leclerc
danielricciardo please stop inviting me to events where there are cupcakes. i have no control and your mini monster just laughed as i sobbed whilst shoving another one in my mouth
→ landonorris i don’t think you should say these things online
charles_leclerc also not featured is y/n crying all morning about her baby boy growing up
→ YourUserName charl, don’t lie to the fans. they all know you’re the one crying
→ charles_leclerc but he was so little, and he used to come to work with us and now he’s telling us he wants to be just like his clever mummy and his fast daddy and - i just cannot 😭
→ maxverstappen1 @ YourUserName like i said on your wedding day, are you sure this is the one you want to marry?
→ YourUserName afraid so
→ charles_leclerc i would divorce you but you are a very good lawyer and i do not imagine i would come out of it so well
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Requests welcome. I will be doing more Part 1s for some of the other drivers.
Baby Fever Angst Series
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be good, be quiet
joel miller x f!reader | joel masterlist
GIF credit to the amazing @perotovar who i adore, and i'm grateful adores me.
summary: bill tells you both you're sleeping in separate rooms when a thunderstorm doesn't allow you to leave. but joel isn't planning on getting any sleep.
wordcount: 3.7k warnings: post outbreak. smut. sneaking around (so to speak). p in v. fingering. joel angst. you riding joel. jo's spelling. praise kink. joel trying to keep you quiet (by sticking his fingers in your mouth). feelings, but joel-feelings.
AN: thanks as always to @thetriumphantpanda for leaving me comments in the document that made me feel less scared about posting. and also to @swiftispunk for being a cheerleader when i threw a snippet at her like a toddler with a drawing.
All unannounced, it rumbles in. Creeping in, bringing clouds that snuff light and immense claps of thunder. It’s the kind of storm that has lightning that even the shadows can’t hide from. Makes the house creak, groan—it pleading, weeping in its persistence to stand up straight and not cower.
It’s also the only reason the two of you are allowed to stay.
Joel hears the whispers, tuned in until they grow into near shouts in a room next to the one you and him are standing in. If you’re listening, you make no effort to show it—head turned, staring out as the rain thrashes down, eyes following certain droplets as they run down the pane.
Honestly, he doesn’t even want to fucking stay.
Had folded his arms to indicate as such when it was suggested. But, as he stares at you, he knows he doesn’t want you in it—recalling not all that long ago when you had shivered for days. You’d barely been able to speak full sentences as you remained curled in a ball he couldn’t unfurl, all cold to the touch, clinging to him as your teeth rattled in your skull.
It’s the only reason he’s grateful Frank forces Bill’s hand. His tongue piercing, delivering a fine—all razor-like, cutting, his voice booming that the two of you were to sleep in separate rooms.
He could have argued, could have glared, tilted his head—he didn’t. Not as the house shook with another crack of thunder, an idea sprouting, digging itself deep and blooming out across the wasteland living inside of him.
It’s why he plays along. Taking the fresh clothes, the offering of a shower, bidding you a goodnight loud enough for them to hear downstairs, a kiss to your cheek to sign it—burying a smirk under it all.
The whim pulsating, throbbing under his skin—not doused by the cooling temperature of the shower or his hand gripping the base of his half-hard cock. Memories, tinged with blackened edges brimming as he steps from the steam, thinking, ticking—
Waiting.
Waiting for the house to go mute in between the cries of the weather.
Waiting to strike, to prowl—a champion at it, awarded best in class.
Then, he tires from it.
Throwing the covers back, the soles of his feet meet the wood on the thunder. The ticking clock in the corner syncs with his racing heart, desperate to be quiet, maintain mouse-like footsteps, careful—as silent as he is when he moves through buildings that screech and click.
The door you’re behind is at the end of the hallway—shut, closed. A metaphorical do not disturb struck across it from the glare the two of you had been given before Bill had shrunk off to bed.
He didn’t care, not as the drops of water dripped from his hair down his neck, sliding under the fabric that didn’t belong to him. Fingers reaching out for the door handle, all set to twist, when it opens, metal pulled away from him—draping him and the dull flowered carpet in warm orange.
“Jo—“
He’s quick, hand smothering your exclamation, muffling your words. Covering them with his palm, enjoying how soft your skin feels even under it, as he raises his other hand, finger to his mouth—escorted by a glare, a silent order—before dropping it to your hips, grabbing, digging into you as he begins to walk you backwards. You move easily with him, pressing yourself flush to him, all trusting, reading him like a damn book.
“Were y’coming to find me?”
It leaves his tongue in a rasp.
And the look you give him makes his cock even harder than it already had been. Reminding him he’s too worn, too old to be doing shit like this—but fuck does he want to. Lay there, thinking of only you. Mind lost out at sea, bobbing along gentle waves of how you feel wrapped around him, that whimper you make when he flattens his palm to your spine, slides in, fills you, hips flush with yours.
You’re good, because you nod, no words—not making another noise. Your hand slips past him, shutting the door as your chest remains flush with his—the door happy, gleeful to return to its frame. He slides his hand from your mouth, moving to wrap it around the back of your neck, your chin tilted up without so much as a request.
Then, you smile, soft, almost innocent. But he knows you’re no angel—you’re something carved from molten and destruction, but fuck are you pretty. The kind that leaves an outline on the back of his eyelids. The kind that he suspects would turn heads, if you didn’t look like you wished to disembowel them for even looking. Plus, you’re always with him, eyes on him, enamoured, enchanted—
You shouldn't.
Not when he’s poison, slowly feeding you with drops—rotting your insides and blackening your soul. Watching you slowly being made in the shape of his past, carved, narrative rewritten and a future fading, before you get to live it, because of his company. A price scratched against your name.
But, you chose him—leave a mark, Miller. And he did, does. He paints himself on your spine, ropes of white whenever he can; he makes the juncture between your thighs slick with the mess he makes of you. More you whine, and that’s when it changed. When it became less about mindless distraction and more about possession, care, something else fucking entirely—
He pulls your ear to his mouth, your body relaxing, going limp—catching the scent of freshly washed skin. “Ima need you to be a good girl and be quiet. Can y’do that?”
Joel catches the smirk before you blink it away. Your teeth digging into your lip, nodding, catching the reflection of him as lightning floods the room—a sight that undoes him, affects him even though he’ll never show it. Because how much you want him scares him, makes him feel something other than numb, muted grief and disgrace.
The two of you don’t kiss, but he ghosts his lips over yours all the same. Something about the room makes it more intimate, romantic, normal.
“Not like you to break the rules.”
You snort, fingers knotting in his still-damp hair. “Well, I’m sure it’s equally not gentleman-like to sneak into a lady’s room.”
He grunts, and buries it in the back of his throat. Your tongue forces his hand, making him tug on the borrowed PJ bottoms you’re wearing. Palm flattening under the fabric covering your chest, resting it on your stomach, pausing, briefly feeling your heart beating, proof it isn't a fantasy, a dream, before sliding it down.
That’s when he focuses, basks in the feeling of nothing but the softness of your skin and the stories etched into it from surviving, from living. His fingers inching under the elastic and string, your eyes aflame, an inferno, and he wants you to burn him. Singe yourself into him, leave a mark, make it hurt.
“Stopped being a gentleman a while ago, honey.”
You’re wet. A truth two of his fingers feel, sliding them into your heat, suddenly enveloped by nothing but warmth and the sweet rose scent of the soap you washed your skin in. And it’s a comfort, eyes transfixed, all in awe as he watches you try to hold back a gasp—enjoying the way your nails dig into his neck, lashes fluttering and how you part your lips in a silent moan. He can make out what you’re saying is Joel. Each letter inscribed, even in a muted whisper. J-O-E-L.
He already decides he misses the way you sound. A new craving, a new need to make you sing—make your body break out into music, remind him how sweet something can sound when the world is nothing but grievous behaviour and murder.
It’s why he likes when your back is pressed to his chest, knees sore as he pistons in and out of you on the shitty mattress in the shitty room back in the QZ.
Because you can be loud, unfiltered.
There is no need to muffle back how good it feels what he’s doing to you, you can be unhinged, hiss his name, moan through gritted teeth if you’re trying to punish him. He hears them all the same, collects them. Stores them, and uses them to keep the last shard of him intact from all the loss and survival—the part of him he occasionally shows you. Usually in the dark, more morning than night, your chest flush to his back, not asleep, but not fully awake.
But, he can’t collect them here, can’t risk it here—slowing his movements down, hearing you fight it, struggling, being strangled by the moan you want to let breathe.
“C’mon baby, you know how to be quiet. Y’so good when we’re surrounded by clickers. This is no different.”
Narrowing your eyes, you whimper as the base of his palm catches your bundle of nerves. “You’re not—fuck, Joel—usually doing this when we’re surrounded by clickers.”
The corners of his lips twitch. It slides up into one of his cheeks, making a home there—all temporary, only something you seem to pull from him. “Guess I’ll have to help y’out then, won’t I?”
Your eyes narrow briefly before he does. Snaking two fingers—index and middle—past your lips, pressing down onto your tongue, continuing the movements of his other hand, the one pumping his fingers inside of you, coating himself in you.
He learns, quickly, that the pressure applied to your tongue does little to muffle your moan, but the clap of thunder smothers the rest. The way it bleeds out, shakes everything, allowing you a chance to whimper, whine and moan. Eyes digging into his, begging, pleading—
And, he could watch you for hours like this. At his mercy, hanging on the edge—shimmered with a light sheen of sweat and desperation swirling in your eyes. It’s the only time you’re weak, that you show him you can be vulnerable, soft, your edges smoothed down.
It’s why it takes him by surprise when he feels your tongue swirl around his fingers, sucking on them, staring into his fucking soul like you could repair all it had been through. Fuck he’d let you try when you look at him like that.
“Fuck, you’re filthy,” he groans, sliding his palm from your face, resting it on the wall by your head.
“You’ve fucked me on a forest floor, Joel. Don’t act so surprised.”
He lets you have that one—rewarding you for it. Unable to tear his gaze away when you’re overcome with it, stilling, tensing, clenching around his fingers like a vice as you constrict, breathing laboured, rapid breaths before you slant his name across his lips. Stain it. Bury the gratitude and relief as you slide your tongue past his teeth, worming into another part of him, a place he realises he’s wanted you to own. Wants to swallow it, have you rooted under his skin—
“Get on the bed.”
“No,” you rasp, grasping his wrist from between your thighs, bringing his fingers to your lips, tongue swirling before you release them with a pop. “Floor. Bed creaks.”
Another flash, another rumble—it allowing him to take in the expression spreading over your face. The calm, sleepy edge to your smile, all thanks to him. It sears into his skull, makes a home, and buries into a crevice he’ll never be able to scrape you from.
Least of all when you turn, shedding your clothes without aid—stripping himself as you busy ripping sheets to the floor, pillows scattering, a teenager's sleepover dream strewn across the carpeted floor. One he has you lay down on, sliding his mouth over the parts of you he hasn’t yet touched—lapped and enjoyed. Leaving a trail, a path of desire against your skin, your nails finding a home in his scalp, awarding him with gasps, small medals compared to the trophy of before.
“Wanna go on top,” you mewl, hand on his, pausing his hips from connecting with yours. “Wanna ride you, Joel.”
“Think you can handle it.”
It’s perfectly timed, almost comically, the way lightning sparks through the room—your glare more than sharp, digging into him, spacing out his insides until he’s nothing but bone.
He knows you can, but he likes taunting you. Enjoys the way your eyes lick flames across his skin, that your tone can be curt with him, gaze sharpened, pointing.
Joel likes being under you. Has a fondness for the weight of you on him and how your thighs feel on either side of him. Mostly, he likes what it says—what it gives you. An assurance you never ask for and he can never provide, because he can’t give you much, a lot, anything. He’s not good, kind or soft—he won’t trace three words against your shoulder and fan his hand out over your back as he tells you you’re a tempest on two legs, a thing which takes his breath, makes him crave, makes him want, makes him wish.
“You can do it—can take it, take me.”
“I know,” you bite back, lining the head of him at your slit.
It almost makes him snigger. That fury in you, that little determined flame that won’t ever be doused, becoming an inferno in your indignation. So, he whispers your name, fingers crawling up your neck, watching the space your bodies join as you sink down on him.
And he’s in awe as your pussy swallows him, inch by inch, the lightest hiss from under your breath caressing the air as your hips go flush with his.
“Feel good don’t it?”
“Yeah,” you whisper, eyes closed, head rolled back fingers digging, half-curling into his stomach. “You always feel good, Joel.”
Your velvet wrapped around him, encasing him in warmth, all slick and needy. It tugs at him, and makes him for a moment feel like a man and not a carved-out monster who keeps fighting to live another day, for some reason or another. He supposes you wouldn’t let him have it any other way, would fight him and anyone else tooth and nail on it. You’re fierce like that, a difficult fucking thing he’s come across and now wishes to never lose.
“So big,” you whine in a whisper.
Lit up by the storm. It casts flickering shadows over your breasts over the muscles that contort as you roll your hips—if it lingered longer, he’d have been able to witness how wild your eyes were, how slick it is where the two of you are conjoined. Evidenced ruin, a sight he’d pull up in his mind when he’s alone, and you’re busy, and he pretends his fist is close to how you feel.
“Y’doin’ so well for me.”
Another flash grants him the chance to study your parted lips, the way your lashes hang over your cheek. It’s a sight, a fucking delight. An extra breath of oxygen and an anchor to keep him here all at once. A thing which didn’t cling, but had sunk its nails into him all the same—I’m not letting go, and you’re not going to ask me to.
You never say those words, but they hang—attached to string and bunting, a banner of sorts. One that isn’t wrong. A realisation that feels larger here than at the QZ. Surrounded by ornate white furniture and floral patterns, a room which has remained untouched, unspoiled—almost making him feel like a person he used to know. The one who he occasionally spots in the mirror, hanging back in his reflection.
It fucks with his mind. Makes him relaxed, and unwinds the stress from his bones as he plants his feet on the ground and rocks with you. Enjoys your moans, soft, bitten back but likely screamed in your head.
A thought beating inside him, all closed fists hammering on ribs: because he never thought he’d get attached to someone. Never mind someone who appears so otherworldly, likely created to threaten, but he finds only fascinating. A soul who unlocks things within him, finds a way through cobwebs and vines.
Someone who makes him wonder how passion and despair, adoration and darkness can all exist inside of him. Especially without losing the parts which he needs to live, to protect, to save—while keeping the parts that have you coming back to him.
He’s sure you see it, though. You understand him, having peeled back the layers in time and seen the decay which lives within his chest. You’ve even traced your fingers over his scars, ear close to them, as if they’ll spill all their secrets. Even without answers, you remain by his side.
It’s what makes this time different. So much so, he lifts your hand from his chest, pressing a chaste kiss to your knuckles. All tender, soft. Your eyes twinkle, shimmering with something—lit up again—before he places your hand back and rests his hands on your hips, aiding you, helping you ride him, until he has a better idea, a better thought—
His palms almost lift you off him, just the tip remaining as you hover. Digging his thumb and fingers into your skin, leaving indents he can trace when he catches his breath, and he latches his mouth in the space under your breast. Kissing, drawing a circle with his tongue, before he sucks, nips. Intentionally leaving a flaw, signing his name in a signature only he’ll be able to admire—a piece of evidence that this is real, you’re real. Knowing it will be there in the trek back to the life the two of you live; present when you strip off and change, a blight on otherwise perfection, put there by him—another ruin in your life.
Because you could do better than him. A fact he knows, has put to bed but still occasionally turns over.
I chose you because you don’t expect perfection, you’re happy with just good.
Except, you’re more than good.
Your fingers brush over his cheek, soft, gentle. Far too much of both in his opinion. Then he lowers you back down, pussy taking every inch, the lightest hiss fluttering over him as he stares up at you. Transfixed, lost. Almost able to live a fantasy, allow himself to fall into a dreamlike state.
Because this, right in this room, could have been plucked from the world before. It normal, could pretend the two of you were in a room in some inn somewhere or a bedroom the two of you would have built together—hand-chosen ornate furniture and pleasant knick-knacks that adorn surfaces, wooden frames with pictures he could imagine you’d fill if this was real, and not a break in the reality.
“This what you wanted when you were coming t'look f’me?”
He sounds drunk, intoxicated, maybe he is. Having drank from you for so long, he’s more you than he is rotten. He assists you as he snaps his hips to yours, burying the thought in his movements. But, he’s breathing you in—tasting the air tinged with the two of you as you both pant, hunger rearing, desperate, wanting to collide and spark out across nerves, muscles and fucking bone.
Yes, you chant. Yes, yes, yes.
M’close, Joel. So close.
It falls in breathless swirls, a juxtaposition to how tight you are around him, knotting perfectly at the base of him. Sucking him in, keeping him rooted, the head of him finding that spot that makes your body loose and boneless.
“Doin’ so good for me, my good girl.”
So he fucks you harder, uncaring if the floorboards creak, if they protest and shout, he has to. A thing inside of him commanding it. This is all he can give, so give, give, give—
He feels your nails dig, half-moons slicing in—a new scar, one he’ll be thankful to trace. Next is your thighs and muscles tautening. Then, that flutter, the one he seeks, desperate to own, his prize, no one else's.
Mine, mine, fucking mine.
And, distantly, he’s aware he’s the one who pulls you down, but he’ll tell himself later it was you. Trick himself that you required it, even if it was he who needed it. His mouth slanting over yours, clinging to your jaw and cheek, tongue swirling over the moan that is bestowed to him, that hits and fucking pounds into him. Unable to hold on, barely a handful of thrusts before he’s grunting into your mouth, spilling into you, pouring unspoken words to the place between your thighs as you grasp at the tufts of hair on either side of his face.
Something about it makes you taste sweeter. A man like him should never get to experience it now, not this version of him, the act more forbidden, prohibited. It’s what makes him want to spread you out on the floor, lick the expanse between your thighs, taste the two of you—clean you with his mouth and smear you across his face until he’s dyed with the two of you.
Instead, he grasps you close when you collapse against his heaving chest. Palm, all rough, blotched with death, pressing against your cheek as he kisses you. Knowing he should get up and clean himself from between your legs; knowing he should go back to his room.
But he wants to remain on the floor. Enjoying this, whatever the fuck it is. Hand stroking your arm, your fingers drawing shapes as your mouth parts from him, flicking a warmer gaze over him, before lying on his chest.
Stay. Because of the storm.
It’s barely that, just droplets of rain occasionally kissing the glass of the windows.
But in his head, he wants to pretend a little longer. Live in some make-believe land that this is your two’s house, he found it—safety, built ease into your muscles, allowed the callouses to rid from clutching weapons you shouldn’t know how to use. That it’s just a night where the two of you can’t sleep, rather than it being a night where the two of you just feel safe.
“Sure,” he replies in a gruff. “F’the storm.”
Sighing in contentment, rather than annoyance, even if he knows there’s so much suspended in the air—words not spoken or shared.
He almost thinks he could. Almost thinks the moment calls for it—a little whisper, a selection of perfectly chosen words that would wrap you in the knowledge you mean something to him.
But, he thinks you know.
Hopes it, anyway.
AN: shout out to G, who had to listen to me ramble about this two months ago. i hope, once you read this, it's worth the wait.
#joel miller x reader#joel miller x reader smut#joel miller x you#joel miller x f!reader#joel miller x fem!reader#tlou fanfic#hbo the last of us fanfiction#pedro pascal characters#pedro pascal characters fanfic#joel miller smut#joel miller x female reader
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