#But if I see one where I shouldn't like a restaurant or a hospital waiting room or a grocery store

[insertcoolnameherethanks]

Oh?? You saw a bug??? Well that's okay it's really far awa-WHY WOULD YOU IMAGINE IT ON YOU okay don't panic this is- DID YOU FEEL THAT WHAT WAS THAT??? SCRATCH YOURSELF, BE ITCHY EVERYWHERE

[borbygorlinbbqworld]

A weird dairy allergy.

That's what you had been told it was, ever since you were a kid. But after you had moved out from your parents' protective care, you found out the truth.

Even so, when you checked into the restaurant, you still told them to mind what was given to you. Disinterested, and barely glancing at your modest double D cups, the host raised an eyebrow.

"You mean a lactose intolerance?" he asked.

You shook your head. "No."

"Anaphylaxis?"

You only wish it were. "No, not exactly..."

"Whatever." With a roll of his eyes, he started walking toward a table. "Follow me."

You sat where he directed. Glancing at the menu, you waited for your date to arrive.

Tinder was often as cesspool of terrible choices--for both men and women--but you'd really gotten lucky finding this guy on there.

Aside from being extremely attractive (though that never really hurt, did it?), he was in his second year of residency at a children's hospital. With the looks, brains, and money all that would have entailed, he still managed to be humble, and quite charming.

He even seemed really understanding about your dairy allergy when you had told him about it during one of your late night chats.

'Wow, you must feel so uncomfortable!' he had said, genuinely sounding apologetic.

Uncomfortable had been the gentle way of putting it.

After a few minutes of waiting, your date finally appeared. He chatted with the host for a few moments, pointing at the table you were sitting at. Their conversation seemed a little longer than usual, but when he finally arrived at your table, he explained.

"Just wanted to make sure he was aware of your allergy." He flashed a brilliant smile that made your heart melt. "But we're doing a tasting. A few small servings of everything in the restaurant!"

It seemed like a good idea at the time.

But after eating a few bites of one of the appetizers, you start to feel a familiar tightness on your chest. Your boobs didn't seem overly larger, so you thought it must have been imagined.

After a few more bites though, the tightness doesn't let up. Your bra starts to creek. With another furtive glance downward, you can see you were right.

There's a crease where the bra was trying to contain the breasts and where they were starting to spill out.

"Was there dairy in this?" you ask.

Your date shook his head. "Shouldn't be. Why?"

Why? Maybe you were being too critical of yourself; if he couldn't tell they had gone up half a cup size, maybe it wasn't worth mentioning.

So the next appetizer was brought out. It was savoury, melt in your mouth...

..and made your breasts swell another size. It was very clear now that whatever you had eaten had to have had at least some dairy in it. Your bra now fit like a tiny bikini, your hard nipples rubbing against its edge teasingly as you spilled out the front of your low cut dress.

"There's definitely dairy in this food," you tell your date urgently. "I'm reacting."

He tilted his head to the side, looking at your chest. "Maybe a little bit, but nothing too uncomfortable I wouldn't say."

It certainly didn't feel that way, but maybe he was right. Maybe you were too worried about the stares you'd get.

So you continued to eat.

After the next course, you realized he had to be playing polite. Your mammaries swelled, tightening the top of your dress until there was no more give. Not only were you spilling out the front, but out the sides now too. The straps that had once been full coverage now strained with the weight of your expanding bust. You weren't sure when it had happened, but your bra had torn; it was too much for it to handle.

You jumped to your feet suddenly, your breasts bouncing back and forth as your nipples poked through the fabric of your dress. Stomping over to the host station, you tried to ignore just how good it felt when your breasts were sloshing around from the movement.

"Excuse me!" You waved your hand to get his attention, sniffling a groan as you felt your chest get even tighter.

The host looked up with a bored expression on his face until he spotted just what his food had done to your body.

"U-U-Uhh..."

The man could barely choke out a word, and he definitely couldn't help but stare. It burned a heat between your legs.

"Was there any dairy in the food?" you asked desperately.

He took a solid few minutes to answer, and only did so after adjusting a chub in his pants.

"A-A little bit," he confessed. "I didn't think it would... would..." He trailed off, keeping his stare on your breasts. Clearing his throat he finally looked away. "Your boyfriend over there asked that I put some in."

That little asshole...

You stormed back over to him, a little miffed at the fact that you enjoyed how he watched every sway.

Before you could say anything, he apologized. "I'm so sorry. I guess I didn't believe that it was true, which was wrong--but I had to see for myself."

"Well, have you seen enough?" You gestured to your swelling chest.

"I'm sorry! But how, uhh... " He swallowed, as if biting back more lewd words than what he went with. "How big can they get?"

You did your best to cross your arms indignantly, but the feeling of your arm brushing against your hard nipple made you squeak.

"I dunno, I've never been this big before."

Or this sensitive...

Your breasts felt so heavy, so incredibly full, yet every little bump or sway filled you with pleasure.

He nodded, keeping his eyes on them. "I felt guilty for kind of... trapping you into this, I guess. So I booked out the restaurant entirely, if that's any consolation..."

A quick look around proved there really weren't any other guests in the restaurant. It was a small token of sweetness.

The guy really couldn't stop staring at your breasts, and for the first time, you didn't want him to stop.

"Well, I guess if there's no one else here..." You wave your hand to grab the attention of the waiter. "Let's see how big I get."

His pupils dilated for a moment. "Yeah?"

The waiter arrived.

"A glass of milk please."

He paused, looking between you , your breasts, back to you, then your date. "B-But--"

"Whole milk, if you have it."

He didn't take very long filling your request. You raised the glass of milk up in toast, waiting for your date to meet it with his own.

You gulped down the milk, each swallow loud. Before that moment, any dairy you had had been in tiny, small amounts.

Right away, you felt the familiar tightening in your chest. The sound of ripping fabric told you your dress hadn't made it. As soon as the fabric gave way, your breasts burst forth like water breaking through a dam. They swayed from the sudden freedom, leaving you with that arousing sloshing sensation again...

They had never felt so full before! But full of what, exactly?

It wasn't long before your expanding mammaries forced your nipples against the edge of the table.

You let out a whimper.

"Are you okay? Is there anything I can do?"

So full, so full... How did your swelling masses make you feel so uncomfortable, yet so... aroused?

Whether it was to genuinely help, or so he could get a better look, your date move the table, giving you more room.

Finally, the tightness died down, and the swelling stopped. Your breasts filled up your lap, blocking your stomach completely as the heavy mounds rested on the tops of your thighs. Your puffy nipples stuck out, just aching.

In fact, your breasts in general were in need of something.

You look back to your date, wondering if the growth had been too much. But to your pleasant surprise, he was drooling over them. The thought of his saliva dripping off your engorged teets... were your panties always this wet?

He reached a hand out to touch. His fingertips gently grazed the skin near your nipple, and your breasts throbbed with need.

He took them both in his hands, gently kneading them in his fingers. But every movement hit against a gland, making you let out a soft moan.

Two pearl-like beads appeared at the tips of your nipples.

"Is that...?"

You really did feel full...

He squeezed your breasts gently, no doubt testing his suspicions.

Two streams of milk burst forth from your mammaries, spattering across the floor, the table, and his face as you let out a cry of pleasure.

Before you could even let out the demand that was on your lips, you felt your date's hot mouth on your breast. He sucked gently at first, then a hard suck that flooded his mouth with so much milk, it started dribbling down his chin.

He kept going though, suckling on the one breast while pulling the other nipple in an all too familiar fashion. He directed the spray into his empty cup of water, all while latched and guzzling from the other breast. You could hear each hungry gulp from him, which only made your panties even wetter. I rubbed my pelvis back and forth against the fabric.

He let go with his mouth momentarily, his gaze a little unfocused, like he was milk drunk. "Can't even imagine... what it's going to be like when I get you pregnant..."

And with a loud moan of pleasure from you, he latched on to the other breast, feasting greedily on your massive mommy milkers.

The feeling was pure ecstasy...

---

🐮

[afyrian]

ch. 8 - february 13 masterlist

    "where is he? i'm his emergency contact," you stand at the front desk of the emergency room, hands clenched in fists. 

  the nurse looks back at the room, noticing all of the people rushing around. "with the ice on the road, there's a lot of people in the emergency room. we don't have that much room in their currently. unless you're family or looking for a minor-" she starts watching as you bounce on the balls of your feet.

  "yeah? well, i'm his wife. and i need to see him," saying it came so naturally at this point.

  maybe it's because you wished for it to be real. to be able to rush into a place and wholeheartedly say that that is your loving, adoring husband. and part of it is also because the two of you started using it constantly. to get out of situations with unwanted strangers or receive free desserts at restaurants. calling him your husband has basically become second nature.

  she bit her lip and looked back at the room once more. you can tell that she's nervous to let you in, but you can also see her moving her own wedding band. knowing that every person would want to know how their partner is doing, "please, wouldn't you want to see your partner?"

  the nurse looks back at you, letting out a breath through her nose, "yeah... yeah, follow me. stay close because it's really packed."

  the butterflies in your throat clear up as she opens the doors to the emergency room. she heads out first, weaving through the doctors and nurses helping people with broken arms and concussions. your heart beats quicker as you make your way through the heavy crowd. the fluorescent lights beating against your eyes and the heavy smell of antiseptic make your hands shake.

  for a second, you feel a little lightheaded. wondering if the worst of the worst happened. only when you finally see him does your anxiety slow and chills stop running down your back. he's laying in a bed, his foot is wrapped in something and there's scratches along his left arm. a nurse is currently holding a pencil in front of him, seeing if his eyes can correctly follow it. 

  you stand back for a second, the tears in your eyes still settling there. your hand instinctively reaches up to wipe them away. when the nurse takes a step away, he finally notices you. there's a scratch on his temple, but for the most part he seems okay. rintarō's gaze softens upon seeing you, his tongue attempting to soften his chapped lips. 

  "i'm sorry..." you swallow, taking a step towards him, "if i had just waited for you.. maybe this wouldn't have happened."

  rin shakes his head, pursing his lips. he reaches out his hand to grab yours, "no. no, don't do that. no, you can't do that. you can't blame yourself." 

  you grab ahold of his hand and let some more tears fall. the way he lays in that bed, so defenseless, helpless. all because for a moment, you couldn't handle seeing him flirt with another woman. you just had to grab an uber and head out of the party, leaving him wondering where you went and leaving soon thereafter.

  "but you wouldn't have-"

  "maybe it would've happened with both of us in the car. maybe i'd be the one driving to a hospital with raging anxiety. there's so many things that could've happened y/n. so please, just stand here, hold my hand, and stop blaming yourself," rin holds out his good hand, his palm open and fingers outstretched.

  taking in a deep breath, you grab ahold of his hand, intertwining your fingers with his. you lean forward, kissing his forehead, something you hadn't done in forever. neither of you were super physically affectionate in your friendship. but occasionally, when one of you really needs it, it’s necessary. 

  you stare down at him, taking your free hand to wipe away the tears from your cheeks. he goes to move his left arm, quickly remembering that it hurts like hell to move and he likely shouldn't. "you looked beautiful tonight, by the way. at the party," he turns to look at you, squeezing your hand in his.

  "and you looked dashing, honey," you smile to yourself, taking in a deep breath. 

  "i'm not joking," rintarō looks up at you, his eyebrows furrowing, "you look beautiful."

  the urge to say something is so strong. but before you can even open your mouth, a nurse comes rushing in to let him know that he'll be moved to a new room. there they'll fit him into a boot and do a last once over before discharging him. you quickly follow behind as they get him to a nearby room, switching the beds so that he wouldn't have to get up on his bad foot. 

  you want to comment on it, wondering if there's something here. if he'd ever want something more than what you've had. however, all you can do is stare at all of the machines connected to him. the iv connected to his arm, the contraption keeping his foot elevated. the machine checking his heart rate and oxygen. you quickly decide it wouldn't be a good time to confess the feelings that you've been horribly hiding.

  he looks over at you, noticing you looking around at everything. "i'm okay, i am. it's pretty much just a formality."

  "you're so stupid, 'formality'.." you shake your head, watching as he tries to give you a warm smile, but it just looks painful, "i'm a little hungry, did you want anything from the vending machine?"

  "you have no idea how happy i am to hear that. i will take anything right now," rin nods, taking his now free hand and running it through his hair, trying to gain some sense of normalcy.

  you nod, exiting the room to give yourself and him a breath of air. there's a few vending machines down the hall that carry an array of foods. from hot dishes to bags of chips, you know exactly what he would want you to grab for him. jelly fruit sticks, chuupets. there's a wide range of flavors, rin enjoying every one of them (besides grape). 

  so you grab a strawberry one, a mango one, and an orange one. they're all overpriced, but right now, you'd do anything for him. due to the night both of you’ve had, you're also starving so grabbing a couple bags of chips is exactly what you need. as you make your way back to his room, you can hear a nurse inside. she sounds like the one you initially spoke to when trying to find rintarō.

  she laughs at whatever he said a moment ago, "no, really, you have a great wife. she wouldn’t take no for an answer, so, you better hold onto her.”

  “oh, i plan on it… so, when do you think i’ll be able to be discharged?” 

  you smile to yourself, quickly entering the room as soon as the two of them start discussing his health. due to the crash, he has a bruised arm with cuts from the window’s glass and his left foot was broken but should be healed with a boot. as she discusses everything with the two of you, health plans, physical therapy, you stay by his side. clutching his hand with yours. 

a/n: so happy everyone is liking this fanfic so far!! i do plan to make it twelve chapters so.. four more

[yegdreon]

Wind Breaker band AU

[This is a fanmande, non-profitable project. Neither me nor the creator of the original idea have any connections to the creators of neither the anime nor manga of Wind Breaker]

(writen by: Yegdreon)

(original idea by: @aiiry-0 )

[Chapter 1]

Sakura Haruka, a 15 year old boy who was born with an interesting but odd appearance. His hair is half black half white, and his right eye is blue while his left eye is yellow. His been bullied for almost his whole life because of that, so, as a way to shut those bullies mouths, he learned to fight. He was so good at it that the people of his town started calling him a monster. Those were rough times to Sakura. But one day, while one of his bullies fell to the ground with his punches, said bullie dropped something, a CD. Curious as a cat, Sakura asked:

— Why would you carry this with you while fighting? Are you trying to damage it or somethin'?

— It's for my sister.— said the bullie, trying to get out of Sakura's enemy list— She's in the hospital and music is the only way that she'll stop cryin'.

Sakura was intrigued by this. He liked music already, but he had never thought of it as a way to relieve stress.

— Hey, you!— yelled Sakura— What store did you get this from?

— From the store down the street— said the bullie, not noticing Sakura's obvious blush— Just, please let me go. I'll never do that again.

At this point Sakura wasn't even listening, as he walked away, going in the direction the bullie pointed to.

Once he got in, he silently walked to the counter.

— Where's the rock music section?— he mumbled, barely understandable.

— What? —The girl on the counter asked, teasingly— You'll have to speak up.

—WHERE'S THE ROCK MUSIC SECTION? —he yelled, with a burning red blush.

—That's more like it!— she said, laughing— It's the one more at the right.

Sakura quickly turns around, walking really fast to said section.

He picks up a CD, and comes back to the counter.

— Ya know...— says the girl— If you really like music, you should come to Furin High. We have an amazing band that'd be more than happy to let you join.

—Huh!— says Sakura, perplexed by the straightforwardness of the girl— I don't like it that much! And you shouldn't go making assumptions like that about people you don't even know!— he picks his new CD, and sprints at the door, before suddenly stopping— I'm already enlisted at that school anyway.

Sakura walks out. The girl smiles and yells:

—Then see you there!

Two months pass by, and Sakura has turned into a regular at the CD store. Over the course of those two months, he has accumulated an amount of 30 different CDs.

—How do you even get enough money to buy so many CDs?— Asks the girl that works at the CD store, worried about his financial situation.

— It's not like I'm stealing it from anyone, nor something like that!— responds Sakura, worried that he'd be judged.

—Dude, no one said anything about stealing.— She said, trying to figure out what led him to such answer.

—KOTOHA!!

They hear a deafening loud shout coming from outside.

— Who's that?! —asked Sakura, a bit scared of such vocal strength— Is it someone tryna to pick a fight?!

The girl sighs, then she turns to Sakura and says:

— No it isn't. Just come with me please.

They both leave the store and are immediately met with around 20 people outside. Sakura changes to a fighting stance, prepared to fight. The girl stops him, gets closer to the man at the front of the crowd. She raises her hand, and SLAPS him.

— How many times have I told you to knock on the door when you need me? Huh?— she yells her lungs out, while raising her hand preparing to slap him again.

— I'm so sorry Kotoha,— he replies— I just didn't want to let them out here waiting so long.— then, he holds her left hand and says— Could you please open the restaurant for us, we're starving.

She promptly slaps him again with her right hand. Then she says:

—Give me five minutes.

After she closed the CD shop, she goes up to the door of the café right beside it, and opens the door. All of them go in and sit down. Sakura goes in as well, confused about everything that's going on.

— Umemiya, meet Sakura. He is the guy that frequents the CD store daily.— Kotoha then turns to Sakura— Sakura, meet Umemiya. He's the one that manages both the fighting club and the band from Furin High.

— Nice to meet you Sakura!— says Umemiya, bursting with joy— So, what kind of music do you listen to?

— R-ro-rock music— answers Sakura, still trying to get a grasp on the situation.

— Hahah!— he laughs— Seems like this year's students all have the same taste. Well, Sakura, if you ever want to try playing an instrument or even singing, just come to the club room. We'd be all happy to teach you.

Sakura fervorsly blushes. He then sprints out while yelling:

— I'll think about it!

[snowball-doie]

mark being super hesitant to take reyna out (when she's a toddler) but eventually works up the courage to do it, albeit at a time where he assumes that not many people will be about. well, he assumes wrong and a bunch of papparazi/fans end up spotting him 😭😭 honestly i just love seeing mark stressed

i went a little bit of a diff route w this- my b (also this is so not canon bahahahahaaha)

reyna wasn't feeling well after jaehyun brought her to the office : ( poor thing was laying on the couch in the dance room, she was beginning to run a temperature, she had a little bit of a cough. honestly, if jungwoo had been there that day, he would've freaked out IMMEDIATELY and called an ambulance.... but it was just jae in the recording studio, and mark and hyuck were rehearsing with the dreamies. "i gotta take her home," mark said after he realized he couldn't focus with how sick she was getting. after jungwoo, mark was the one most worried about reyna getting really, really sick again..... so he decided to take her home and give her meds. if it got any worse, then they'd go to the hospital. hyuck pressed the back of his hand to her forehead. yup, she was getting warmer. "i'll see you guys at home in a bit," he told her and mark before giving her a kiss on the top of the head, then mark carried her out of the room.

mark figured it was okay to take her home suddenly. the boys always brought her to the office without any trouble.... he could pull it off too. while waiting in the lobby, he called for a kakaotaxi to pick them up from the office so they wouldn't have to take the subway-- "what the fuck?" why was a taxi going to take 20 minutes to get to them? fuck..... it was still the only option, but.... shit. mark sighed. there was a cafe under the building, next to the store and the gordon ramsey restaurant. maybe mark could get a coffee for himself and a treat for reyna. it was getting late, most people were on their way home already, there shouldn't be a lot of fans wandering around the area since the store was about to close up. besides, a quick run to the cafe never hurt anyone.

down in the cafe, as expected, the area was quiet. the baristas who knew idols frequented their business weren't shocked when mark entered, but they were a bit caught off guard by the kid sleeping on his shoulder.

"i'm babysitting," he lied with a laugh. they giggled back at him. picking out his card with one hand and holding reyna in the other, he ordered his coffee and her cookie to go.

when it was ready, he thanked them and left the cafe, and as he turned the corner to go to the escalator that would take him back up to the building, he found himself face-to-face with a large group of fangirls. some looked like foreigners, others looked korean. whatever the case, they looked like they were all friends, and they all IMMEDIATELY recognized him. phones were whipped out within an instant, taking pictures and videos of him holding reyna while he tried to hide her face and beg them to let him through. they were just so loud and excited. reyna started waking up in his arms... and she was coughing some more.... fuck.

"sorry, guys, i have to get her back to her parents before i get in trouble." he was smiling and trying to be charismatic-- but they wouldn't move.

"dad," reyna whispered weakly, only loud enough for him to hear before she coughed some more.

more adamantly, mark pushed his way through without a smile. "excuse me, guys. thanks." he headed upstairs in a hurry, balancing his daughter, his coffee and her cookie, and trying to dig his phone out of his pocket to see how far away the taxi was. just around the corner. thank god.

"ARE YOU AN IDIOT?!!!!" ahri scolded once he got home. jungwoo was already giving reyna her meds while johnny was calling the doctor to see if they needed to bring her in; but ahri was freaking out about how pictures and videos of mark and reyna were circulating around the internet. most people were finding the clip of him saying that he needed to get her to her parents, indicating that she wasn't his, but others didn't see that or care-- they were coming up with all kinds of things, and now the execs were blowing up mark and hyuck's phones. so while mark was getting chewed out by ahri, hyuck was having to deal with the company.

"i'm sorry, i'll never, ever do it again, ahr, i promise, im so sorry."

doyoung gives mark a reassuring side hug.

"you can take her with you, im not saying you can't," ahri explained more calmly before taking a seat on the couch. "just dont be stupid and take her out in public like that. especially where you can run into fans."

mark nodded. it made sense... she was making sense...... he understood why she was upset, and he knew that he fucked up. it scared him too, and he was worried about the tweets and rumors flying around the internet-- but the good news was that most of his fans were using the one clip as proof that she wasn't his, so he was mostly in the clear, which meant that people would eventually forget about it aside from occasionally using the pics as "dad!mark inspo" on pinterest boards

[automatismoateo]

I was splashed with "holy water" without consent at the catholic hospital I work at and I'm actually really frustrated about it. via /r/atheism

I was splashed with "holy water", without consent, at the catholic hospital I work at and I'm actually really frustrated about it. Hello all. Ive been a redditor for a few years and have only commented on the subreddits that I've joined, but this is my first time ever posting something. That being said, I'm an active member in my smallish hometown's subreddit and I don't want anyone figuring out that it's me that's posting this (hence this throwaway account I just made 5 minutes ago) so I just wanted to preface all that. I work in the ER/ED of a catholic hospital that I live 5 Mins away from. I graduated with a Bachelor's degree in biology just over 2 years ago and, having only worked in restaurants my entire life (Im in my 30s), thought it would be a good idea to work in a hospital setting to build my resume bc i want to go to med school/ PA school. So I've worked in this catholic hospital for almost 2 years as a tech since it was the only hospital that would even give me an interview. That being said, in the interview I was assured they were inclusive of all religions etc. Since I'm a pretty outgoing person, most people know I'm extremely anti religion/ Christianity/ catholicism whatever. I even have a pin on my badge that says "maybe today Satan". Fast forward to the event- one of the deacons/priests came to our unit about 10 mins after we had all gotten on the floor and said "everybody huddle up I have some holy water I would like to say a prayer and bless everyone". So I kind of snuck out of the area in order to not be around this witchcraft thing. I just went to the nutrition room, grabbed a coffee and waited about 2 mins for it to be done. I come out of the room and I'm walking to the area I need to be in and I see the priest walking down the hall towards me with his potion, spraying the area as he walks along. As I walk by him, he sprays me with it and I go "are you serious? Why would you do that I didn't want that on me and frankly makes me uncomfortable". To which he replied "oh relax you're not going to sizzle up or catch on fire I know you're a good guy" (he doesn't know I'm an atheist). And then proceeded to splash me AGAIN with this super sacred water. I legit was just in disbelief that it happened and I just stood there for a second and walked to my other coworkers and immediately starting saying what happened and that it bothered me that he didn't ask me for permission nor respect the boundaries I had quite explicitly laid out. My coworkers were like "he's just trying to bless u blah blah holy water is a good thing" etc. Am I overreacting? Probably. I feel like I am but it just seriously bothers me that I tried to avoid the situation and then he just disregarded me asking him to not do that. Yes, I'm aware of where I work and all that but this is a giant catholic hospital network in multiple states and they're accepting of all faiths (or lack of) and so my thought process is what if he did that to someone who was Muslim or Buddhist or something else? I really shouldn't be surprised I suppose though I mean it's not unheard of for a catholic priest to not care about consent with altar boys or anything. Tldr: splashed by a priest with holy water while walking by him at the catholic hospital I work at, asked him to not do that and he proceeds to do it again. Submitted September 21, 2023 at 06:18PM by LeftMountain5968 (From Reddit https://ift.tt/r0mNK9s)

[fic-dumpster]

Deer in headlights | Part 1: meeting Sano Manjiro

Pairing: Bonten x Fem Reader

Tokyo Revengers Bonten Alt Univers | canon divergent

Warnings: mentions of blood, decisions you shouldn't make IRL, this is fiction. CLICK ON MY RULES BEFORE ASKING ANYTHING!

You should have known better. That is what you keep telling yourself as you walk across the busy streets of Tokyo's nightlife. Drunk people are stumbling here and there; some are trying to get home while others are looking for another place to keep their night going.

As always, you couldn't say no to someone in need, and your boss had his daughter's birthday today, so you offered to stay and close the restaurant after everyone was gone. You had to check inventory, earnings of the day, wait for some delivery, and then restock. When you finished everything, it was past midnight. No subway lines, so that meant you had to take a taxi.

So that is where you are now, phone dead and unable to call a cab, in the streets of a buzzing Tokyo night.

Not even one taxi had the available sign turned on. You were beginning to worry. But all your worries were thrown out of the window when you saw a white-haired man bleeding and about to get hit by a vehicle. Your body moved on its own. You tackled the man before the car could hit him. He must have been in pretty bad shape because as soon you both hit the ground, he passed out.

Fantastic, you thought. Giving him a better inspection, you saw a tattoo on the back of his neck and noticed that from some part of his middle section, the blood kept flowing, and that couldn't be a good sign either. You didn't even know where the wound was! A panicking side of you was about to take over.

“No, no, no, no. Breathe! He needs help,” you said to none in particular but yourself.

Your rational side was telling you to dump him there or leave him at a hospital, but sometimes you took the dumbest choices. In your defense, the wound and the tattoo screamed gang, yakuza, a crime syndicate! And you didn't want anyone hunting you for selling one of those guys to the authorities, or that is what you told yourself.

You don't know why exactly, but there was some kind of pull that convinced you to help him.

God knows where you had the strength to lift him, and it looks like luck was on your side since not a second later, you hailed a taxi and gave the driver your address.

Not so far from where you found the white-haired man, an emergency meeting by Bonten, Tokyo's worst crime organization higher-ups, began.

“Any news? Where is Mikey?!!!” screamed a very pissed-off Sanzu. After kicking a table at the hotel’s top floor.

“No sir” came from the two lackeys that just entered the place. Two shots fired, and the thud of the bodies falling to the floor echoed in the room. Sanzu’s gun now was missing two bullets.

“You know, killing our men won't bring our boss back any faster” the word came from Takeomi as he took another cigarette between his lips.

“I can't believe you lost the boss, Sanzu!” mocked the younger Haitani; not soon after, the older brother followed with a laugh.

“Shut up, both of you.” Kakucho was not in the mood for their teasing behavior, and he didn't want to deal with fights right now.

“I’m sure Mikey is fine. We’ll see him walk through the door any minute,” confidently commented Kokonoi.

Well, that was three days ago. Things weren't looking good for Bonten’s tops members since their boss was nowhere to be found, and as for you... Let’s say you were kind of living with a corps, or so you thought.

He wasn't exactly a dead person. You always checked his breathing, and he was in a deep sleep on your bed for the last three days or so. You’ve gone to your classes, work, grocery shopping, and even went out of your way to buy some clothes for your guest(?), but he hasn't woken up. You’ve been in this kind of sleep coma after finals and days without sleep, so you told yourself to give it time.

“Honestly, what am I thinking? What am I doing?!” you mumbled to yourself as you sat on your couch.

“I would like to know that,” said a rough voice behind you, and a cold object pressed to your neck. You froze; nothing passed through your mind. Breathing? Blinking? What is that? “Listen carefully because I won't repeat myself. Am I clear?”

“Yes,” your response was barely audible; if he weren't so close to your head, he probably wouldn't have heard it.

“Where am I? Who do you work for?” He didn't sound angry or lost, and that is what scared you. He was calm... Relaxed.

“A-at my apartment a-and I-you we-were” you took a breath; that is not how you sounded at all, and it pissed you off. Why were you so nervous.

“You what?” he still didn't sound hangry more as surprised.

“I work for Mr. Fukada at his restaurant,” you finished and the you tensed. Oh god, no! You gave Mr. Fukada’s name to a stranger, you thought.

He hummed as a response, and although the knife wasn't pressed at your neck anymore, he still had it resting on your chest.

“Do you know who I am?”

“How am I supposed to know? You are behind me” there was a thought that came to your mind “Wait! I don't know who or what you want, but please don't hurt the guy on my bed, please. He's hurt and probably needs help! Just, please, don't- don't hurt him.” the mare thought of him in pain made you feel pressure on your chest.

“What?” He couldn't believe his ears.

“Look, I don't have money here, and I have little to nothing of value, and I-”

He began to laugh. Why was he laughing... Your first thought was that you had a maniac on your back. Fantastic.

You felt movement and a body plopped next to you on your small couch. You knew better (not really), and you kept your gaze on the ground. The less you knew, the better it was for you. No face, no crime.

But sadly for you, this person didn't share your thoughts. He held your chin and made you look at his eyes, those eyes that seemed almost... dead. Oh!?! He’s the white-haired dude! You thought. For some reason, you were happy to see him awake. He, on the other hand, saw the look on your eyes change from scared to delight. There was a sparkle in them... What is that sparkle?

“How did I get here?” He inquired with a more casual tone.

“You were bleeding in the street and a car was about to run you over so I kind of pushed you...-” you apologetically replied. “Hmm yeah, I didn't mean to tackle you, but it was me or the car,” you added, feeling the object, which was probably one of your kitchen knives, move from your body to the coffee table.

“How long was I out?” He still didn't change his expression, but he spoke a little less hostile than before, according to you.

“About... Two... Hmmm, three days counting today” his eyes, for the first time, assumed a worried look.

“I’m using your phone. Don't move,” he ordered.

You could hear some parts of his conversation, such as I'm alright, then kind of reassuring the other person on the phone and telling them he’ll be back soon. After some more chatting, he came back to the couch.

“So Y/N hmm? College student, a part-time job and single,” he emphasized that last word as he stared at the roof, “I guess you don't know who I am and what you got yourself into”

“What do you mean?” Now you are lost and kind of mad since he knew things about yourself.

Evading your question, he continued. “You did a decent job with the wound, so I'm grateful for that” he still didn't move his gaze from the roof.

“Really? I followed a youtube tutorial,” you proudly commented. Forgetting what you had asked before those statements.

That earned you another laugh from the man beside you. But it wasn't a mocking one; it was more of a real and pleased/surprised one.

“Why?”

“Why what? The tutorial?” you fastly replayed.

“No, why did you help me?” He looked straight at you, and if it weren't for you nervously pulling at the hem of your shirt, you would have believed you were naked in his eyes.

“I don't understand your question” you honestly responded and he believed you. Something in his gut told him so, and your eyes were the complete opposite of his. “I don't need a reason for helping someone keep breathing! Or in your case, not getting run over...”

“I’m sorry” he replied with a huff of air after he said that.

“What? Why? No! I'm fine, and so are you, right?” You smiled at the stranger that you kept in your house for three days.

“That’s not what I meant” he moved so close to your face that your breathing stopped out of surprise. “I am truly sorry. I like that look in your eyes, and” a hand moved to your cheek and made you held his heavy gaze, “and I intend to keep you and your shining doe eyes for myself.”

“You really must have slammed your head against the concrete, hard,” you honestly said, and again, he laughed.

“Whatever you say, doe.” he went back to his previous position on the couch, although his body appeared a hundred times more comfortable. “But you really don’t know who I am,” he stated.

“Should I?” you were afraid you could come off as rude.

“Look up Bonten on your phone” again; he used that commanding tone. And, of course, you followed him without a second thought.

On your phone’s screen, there are hundreds of news articles about a criminal organization, and one had pictures of them leaving a club. There you saw it, the back of his head and the tattoo. It’s him.

“Oh, so you are part of this Bonten group,” you casually commented after leaving your phone on the table. “That explains the situation when I met you,” there was it again, that calm demeanor when someone else would have been freaking out! Calling the police or, worst!

Mikey was expecting rejection or even terror but what happened next left him speechless.

Suddenly you gasped. “I’m so sorry! You could have been killed if I was followed or worst!” there was that panic he kind of expected, but for a completely different reason.

“The hell you talking about?” the white-haired man had never met someone so... someone so selfless? Were you dumb?

“Your part of the top branch or something, right? You were in danger here!”

“Not precisely, But why are you worried about me? Hmmm, I bet earlier you were panicking not because I had you at knifepoint but because you gave me your boss’ last name. Am I right?”

“yes?” How did he know?

“Thinking about it, I don’t like being in debt with someone, so in exchange for your strange kindness, I’m staying a couple of more days with you.”

“Are you sure? I mean I don’t know if my house is enough and-”

“You are a danger to yourself, doe. You worry about the wrong things.” He said with a laugh. I haven’t had this much fun in ages. He thought

Mikey even found strange how fast you trusted a complete stranger that had your neck almost sliced and who has connections to the crime world of Japan. You were a danger left alone.

“Call me Manjiro,” he spoke once more.

“I’m y/n,” you responded with a smile.

“I know,” he half-smiled

“How rude” you huffed

[tbrma]

DAY 3 - Soulmates (+sci-fi)

Soulmate AU where you don't see colors until you meet your soulmate’s eyes for the first time.

On Ao3

For the first time in his life, Madara wakes up to a monochrome world.

It shouldn't be possible. He tries rubbing his eyes, closing them as he presses the heels of his palms against them. Stars bloom across his eyelids, but when he opens his eyes again nothing has changed. Eventually, he gets up. What the fuck. Now he understands why people are given time off work after finding their soulmates, even his own apartment looks foreign and unnavigable with the colors stripped out of it.

He wanders around aimlessly, waiting for the world to start making sense again, and he's so shocked that he almost doesn't hear his phone's ringtone back in the bedroom. He turns around sharply and runs straight into a wall. Still confused, but now also pissed and in pain, he reaches his phone just in time for it to stop ringing.

"What the fuck is it today!" Madara growls in frustration. He checks his phone for the caller - Izuna - and swears at the screen: he somehow managed to waste a whole hour without even starting to get ready for the day and he should already be at the precinct.

His brother calls again and Madara picks up immediately.

"Izuna," he says instead of a greeting.

"Where are you?" his brother half-screams, sounding already done with the day. "Did you forget about the briefing for-".

"Izuna," cuts him off Madara, "I can't come in to work today."

"What!? Today of all days-"

"I can't see."

"WHAT!?" Izuna all but screeches and Madara can imagine how that got everyone's attention by the way the background noise he can hear through the phone drops to almost nothing. Wonderful.

"I can't see colors anymore," Madara clarifies, and with that admission an awful mix of dread, anger and, worst of all, hope settles on his stomach like a rock. He can't see colors anymore. It shouldn't be possible. He's probably just sick. Knowing his luck, of some rare and understudied illness that will kill him badly in a week’s time or something equally tragic.

Izuna is speechless for a whole minute on the other side of the call. Then he says: "I'll be there in ten minutes. Don't move," and hangs up in a hurry.

Madara waits for him.

The following days are full of hospitals and doctors and specialists and tests and Madara hates it all the more because it ends up being totally useless. Nor the blood tests nor the electrodes can find what's wrong with him. His eyes are fine. His brain is too. He's as healthy as can be expected from a man his age with a job as stressful and dangerous as being a policeman is now. In the end, everyone agrees that it's normal, it's just that…

He hasn't met his soulmate yet. The soulmate Madara has known all his life that he doesn't have.

He had made his peace with his condition- with the way he was born destined to a life… not of loneliness, but without that special someone, the other half assigned to him by some higher being, the one that could complete his everything. He’d accepted his fate a long time ago. But that's ruined now, resignation replaced by idiotic hope that Madara wishes he didn’t feel (again). Because it simply isn’t how the world works anymore: it's more and more common nowadays - though Madara had been one of the first recorded cases - that people are born already seeing color, that is, without a soulmate. And it’s a condition no one has recovered from, ever.

It's just Madara's luck that on his first day back on duty after the mandated leave period for colorvision change he gets one the cases he dreads the most: malfunctioning android. Madara isn't a fan of robots. By now, you couldn't go a day without having to rely on their work, be it at restaurants, in public offices or even at the precinct, and yet it was more and more common that they stopped working correctly, sometimes to the point of becoming outright violent. He really couldn't understand why developers kept creating always more advanced models when they couldn't even control the existing ones.

Madara snaps himself out of his self-commisereting thoughts and rubs his temples, already feeling tired as he listens to his brother debrief him on their way to the scene.

"It's not that bad this time," Izuna says to cheer him up, "it's at the Senju Industries. The CEO Senju Butsuma managed to catch the smuggler before he could leave the workshop."

Madara umms distrustfully. "Is the machine dangerous?" he asks as he starts the old-school car. His father had tried to convince him to use a self-driving model with the excuse he couldn't see as he's been used to, but Madara refused. People could call him a control freak all they wanted, but he is going to keep driving himself until it's made categorically illegal.

"It's just some sight problems, so it shouldn't be," answers his brother, checking the file. "The android is a hyper-tecnologic model designed for research and data analysis, T0-b-RAMA. He's the prototype of Senju Hashirama's RAMA line - pretty self-referential name, if you ask me."

Izuna shoots a disgusted grimace Madara's way and Madara huffs a laugh.

"In any case," Izuna continues, "the android had been running for eleven years without significant issues until it started malfunctioning on the 19th last month. Since the malfunction wasn't deemed dangerous, it wasn't decommissioned immediately, but the source of the problem hasn't been located yet and the CEO decided that the robot would be decommissioned today."

"Let me guess, the engineer wasn't okay with that?" Madara says with an annoyed sigh. He has seen this Senju Hashirama guy on the TV a couple times and he distinctly remembers thinking that someone who smiles that much, no matter how smart, has to have a screw or two loose. Apparently he had been right.

"Yes!" exclaims Izuna, eyes sparkling, because he follows this kind of case like one would a trashy telenovela. Right now, Madara envies his enthusiasm. "He said he'd accompany his prototype to be decommissioned and instead he tried to smuggle it out. But! It seems that the android itself stopped him because it didn't want his creator to face repercussions for its sake!"

Madara snorts. "I doubt it," he says, "it's probably just not broken enough to leave the company without proper permissions. You said it yourself: it's a last-generation prototype. It probably has more anti-theft protocols in its body than wires."

"Well, the security guards claim that that's what it said when it refused to be led away," rebuts Izuna, "and I don't see what they'd get out of lying about this."

"Publicity? All that 'our androids really are loyal' kind of crap?" Madara shakes his head. "This case will be all over the news this evening and everyone will be buying Senju machines like crazy for the next month."

Izuna pouts at him and then turns to glare out the window, mumbling something about Madara's lack of romanticism under his breath. "Whatever," he says, "that's not the point. The point is, right now Senju Hashirama locked himself in a security lab with his robot. Since he's the only one with the right credentials to open it, Senju Butsuma called us to assist him."

Izuna is right, it doesn’t look too bad, Madara thinks, though he doesn’t say anything out loud so that he won’t jinx himself.

The Senju Industries’ massive main branch is slowly coming into view as Izuna lists the more boring information he needs to know - the building the workshop they're headed to is in, the type of security lab and the right protocols to open it - until they finally arrive at the gates. 

“We’re here for the android theft attempt” Madara says to the security guard and the woman lets them through with the indications to reach the best parking spot.

“This place is a fucking labyrinth,” Izuna mutters with a frown. "You'd think they would have someone guide us considering that they're the ones who need our help."

Madara can’t help but umm in agreement, feeling utterly lost.

It takes them ten minutes of bickering to find the parking spot that was reserved for them and, once inside the building, another ten minutes of walking and backtracking and almost getting lost before a woman in a suit finally meets them to lead them to the right room.

“How long does it take you to train new recruits to navigate this place?” his brother asks and the woman laughs.

“They wish we trained them!” she answers, a sadistic smirk pulling at her painted lips, and it’s Izuna’s turn to laugh. The two of them chat amicably for the rest of the way and it’s only Izuna’s obviously relaxed demeanor that keeps Madara’s own nervousness for his first case without being able to see colors at bay.

However, Madara’s mood sours immediately upon arriving on the scene. The room they enter is not that big, but it has a glass wall that shows an enormous lab beyond. The glass is interrupted only by a high-security metal door and a console with a number of devices Madara doesn’t care to name as well as an intercom, which is currently being used by two men he recognizes as Senju Butsuma and his son, Hashirama. The two of them are fighting loudly from different sides of the wall, and the son is - and this is why Madara despises this kind of case - sobbing between words, a protective arm thrown in front of the figure standing beside him.

“-still performing perfectly in any other area! He takes care of all his duties and more! How can you just throw him away?” the man’s voice cracks through the intercom and Madara can see Izuna’s expression grow more somber at his obvious anguish.

“If it’s malfunctioning even slightly, it’s not worth the resources it uses!” booms the CEO, face contorted in anger. “It’s a thing and it’s broken!”

“He’s not a thing! How can you not see it?” Hashirama shouts, grabbing one of the machine’s hands and gripping it tightly. “He’s family to me! A brother!”

Madara’s stomach twists uncomfortably. The man is clearly delusional, but Madara can’t help but sympathize with his desperation, because if someone tried to harm Izuna he would do way, way worse than lock himself behind an unbreakable wall.

A man in a suit, probably Butsuma’s secretary, thankfully manages to interrupt the ugly (and frankly useless) fight and gets the CEO’s attention. Senju clearly takes a moment to breath and get his anger under control before marching towards Madara and his brother, still scowling.

“I trust you have received all pertinent information?” he asks bluntly.

“Yes, Sir.” Madara answers, barely managing not to respond to the scowl with one of his own. He doesn’t like this man and his cold anger at all.

“Take care of this mess, then.” Having said his piece, he walks away, apparently no longer interested in his son’s obvious distress.

Izuna shakes his head after him and then turns to Madara. “I’ll try to calm him down a bit,” he says, pointing at the engineer now sobbing uncontrollably as the robot rubs his back in a way that is both disturbingly human and disturbingly other.

Now that he’s truly watching it, Madara finds himself strangely captivated by this android, unable to divert his attention. It’s pale haired and pale skinned, with starling glowing lines running through what little of its skin is not covered by plain, dark clothing. And it’s beautiful, Madara realizes, long-limbed and elegant, with a face that would look perfect on the cover of a magazine. But what really gets his attention is its expression as it murmurs something he can’t decipher to his creator: impassive, at first glance, but Madara is known to be quite unreadable himself and he can’t help but think that it’s more resigned, or tired or… even a bit sad.

Izuna has begun talking to the researcher while Madara was distracted, so Madara follows him to the console, still staring despite knowing that it’s extremely unprofessional. There’s something about him- it, Madara corrects himself mentally, have I seen it somewhere already?

The android must finally notice his staring because it turns towards him, its eyes focusing on his badge and then meeting his, and Madara is startled by the shocking contrast between black sclera and-

Red eyes, he thinks in wonder, because it’s a color he has always favored, how lovely.

Then it registers. Madara’s knees buckle under him and his hands catch the console just before he can very embarrassingly fall on the floor. Izuna immediately catches him at his elbow and asks him something, but Madara can’t hear him over the ringing in his ears and the sound of his own frenetic heartbeat.

They stare at each other, Madara wide-eyed and sweating and the android - what was his name? Madara wishes he had paid better attention when Izuna was talking - still impassive but not really, with his head slightly tilted to the right as if in deep thought. They stay like that long enough that Izuna stops talking and the researcher finally stops crying, and then, like a spell being broken, the android blinks and turns calmly towards his creator.

“I’ve stopped malfunctioning,” he states.

“What? Really?” Then begins bawling again and lunges for a hug that the android accepts with a distinctively long-suffering expression.

Izuna tugs at Madara’s arm and finally manages to get his attention.

“Are you alright?” he asks, voice full of worry, while his eyes roam Madara’s face as if to find some clue about what has gotten into him.

Madara opens his mouth to answer, but only manages to give his best impression of a fish out of water. He takes in the blue of his brother’s uniform and the pink of his skin, so familiar and dearly missed. The neon hues of the blinking lights on the console. And once again, the mesmerizing red beyond the glass, glowing from the patterns on the android’s body and face…

Oh my God, Madara thinks as he takes in the android’s strangely focused eyes that meet his own once again. If Madara can see colors again then that is his- his…

Oh, shit.

-

-

@madatobiweek2022 <3

[wildlittlefoxsworld]

Loving you against all odds | The Old Guard | Andy x Fem!Reader

Part 1

A/N: I got this idea from a prompt of @promptsforthestrugglingauthor.

You find it here.

Summary: Andy meet the reader in San Francisco in 1929. The reader is twenty-three years old and will marry her fianceé in a few weeks. Andy and the reader get very close, but is this enough for the reader to stop the wedding? Leaving her family to be together with Andy? A family curse makes the reader's life difficult and the reader will need to fight for what her heart desires.

Warnings: slow burn, family curse, minor character death and temporary main character death (in later parts), soft Andy, more tags follow

The Old Guard Masterlist

***

San Francisco, 1929

As the firstborn, you had never worried about the family curse; every second child was doomed to short life of misfortune, but everyone else was left unharmed.

But after your father passed and your mother remarried a partner with a child older than you, you discovered that the curse considered step-siblings as part of the order. But you only noticed it when it was almost too late.

The life of your younger sister Mary, the second the child of your mother, was filled with castastrophic incidents since the day she was born. As a premature infant the pediatrists gave her a loss expectation of life, but your mother called Mary a miracle when she was allowed to take yor sister home after twenty weeks in the children's hospital.

Mary was of slight build, always smaller as the children of her age, caused by the consequences of two months born premature. Children were cruel and made fun of her. You were three years older than her, which made you her protector on the schoolyard. It was something your mother had wished for, but you were well-informed about the family curse. Unlike your mother you understood the impacts the curse had on Mary. Everyone were powerless, nobody could stem Mary's future of never ending misery.

Nobody, until the day your mother married a rich, kind-hearted man named Chandler Prescott. His first wife died a few years ago and together they had a son, Jonah Prescott. Handsome, tall, icy-blue eyes, dark-brown hair. A boy that broke every girl's heart one day. You never hated him, nor did you liked him.

The summer you, Mary and your mother moved in with the Prescotts will you never forget, it was very sticky for early June and you remembered the smell of azaleas, this time changed your life irrevocable.

You were curious of the new town where you lived now. Unknown and mysterious places to discover, but always the voice of your father in the back of your head: never trust strangers. You did follow this rule on every day and it came a day when you didn't. In a little café a half hour by feet away from your home, you met a brunette women, a few years older, maybe in her early thirties. Pretty green eyes, tall, slim figure, very athlectic. You couldn't tell what was special about the woman, but you were impressed by her.

The curve of her mouth formed a charming smile and you felt your stomach doing a flip. It was a foreign feeling when you looked at her, but you ignored it and left the café hurriedly.

The next Wednesday you found your way miraculously back to the little café you liked so much. And there was a spark of hope you would see the stunning woman with the green eyes again. Your eyes roamed the room for her, but you were dissapointed when she wasn't anywhere to find.

“Hello,” spoke a melodic voice behind you and you flinched slightly. You turned your head and looked at the woman that haunted your mind for an entire week. “Hi,” you replied shyly.

“I hoped to meet you again,” she acknowledged and smiled at you. Her gaze was earnestly and you felt your cheeks heating up. You had the same feeling in your stomach as last Wednesday, it was familiar with your typical reaction when a handsome man had complimented you.

“I'm glad to see you. My apologies… for leaving so fast … last week.” You wondered that her presence made you nervous and stuttering. “Well, you came back today,” she appreciated.

She told you her name was Andy. No surname. You respected it and she was relieved that you didn't ask questions about her origin. You spend the whole afternoon together, time flew by like the wind. You talked about casual things, your childhood and parents, but the curse wasn't a topic. And Andy simply listened. You had the feeling that she was the first person in your life who was really interested in you. The moment for your goodbyes came and she hugged you like an old friend. You agreed to meet on next Wednesday at the same time.

At the weekend your mother was buzzing with excitement when the daily newspaper arrived and she read the announcement on page three that the heir, Aaron Grey, of the richest bank director of San Fracisco will marry you on 28th of July in St. Margret's Cathedral.

At twenty-three you could call yourself lucky to get a outstanding match with an noble man like Aaron Grey. You met him at one of the countless parties your step-father hosted. You danced the whole evening with Aaron and you fell in love his his dark brown eyes and warm-hearted laugh. At least you thought it was love you felt.

You couldn't await Wednesday. Andy sat at the same table and you sat down across from her. Her charming smile was back the second she looked at you and a warm feeling spreaded in your chest. You felt bad for the blink of an eye, because you never were so happy when Aaron smiled at you. But you brushed it off, you needed to know him better first.

You forget about Aaron on this afternoom completely. Andy spoke of the places she visited in her life and you decided that you want to see them, each of them. Andy chuckled and responded vague she would take you there someday, but you saw in her eyes she wished for it.

When you walked home, after you promised Andy to come next Wednesday, you thought about your up-coming wedding and if you should tell your new friend about it. Shouldn't you be happy to marry a good man like Aaron Grey. You weren't. In your mind were only green eyes and a charming smile.

Aaron picked you up for dinner with his parents in one these fancy restaurants at Friday night. His parents were very polite and friendly. Aaron and his father talked about business and his mother couldn't wait to have grandchildren. In your opinion the evening was a disaster. But you assured Aaron how lovely his parents were and you looked forward to marry him. You lied to him. You were dissapointed of the outlooks for your future, but you still hoped it will get better. Anyway you liked Aaron and you were sure he would be a caring husband.

The meetings with Andy on Wednesdays were becoming a routine. You entered the café punctual at 2.30 p.m. and spotted Andy in your usual corner. You learned she loved her coffee black, no milk or sugar. You approached her and noticed the white mug with hot chocolate. She remembered your favorite and you beamed with delight. A simple gesture that showed you she cared.

Your conversations were easy, you found always topics you could discuss and you were impressed how adept Andy was in arts, history, languages and travelling. She talked about those things like she had expierenced all of it, like she lived hundreds of lives. Yet you didn't know what she did for living, but you knew she lived with good friends in a cottage at the outskirts of town, near a forest with a lake. She was always vague with informations of her current life and spoke only about her past. One time you asked about her family and she went silent, her mouth a thin line and her eyes cold that it made you shivering, she answered they were passed away a long time ago. You never asked her again.

At home you didn't tell your mother or sister about Andy. She was your only friend here and you wanted something for yourself. You knew it was selfish, but you were sure Andy wouldn't like to be pomped for information about her life.

On the Wednesday three weeks before your wedding she brought you a gift. A box full of conch shells she collected all over the world in different shapes and colours. You loved it. You took a few in your hands and admired their beauty. But you had to admit you never saw more appealing or dazzling than Andy. Sadly you weren't brave enough to tell her. Little did you know she thought the same about you.

The box got a special place in your room.

A week later you had your usual drinks. Andy seemed pensive.

“Are you alright?” you asked her worriedly and knitted your brows together. Andy nodded slowly and glanced outside on the street. It was a sunny day, no cloud in the sky and pleasant warm.

“Would you like to take a walk? There's a park around the corner,” she suggested smiling suddenly. You were excited. You never went anywhere else with Andy than the café.

“Sounds good,” you agreed. Your mugs were already empty and you followed her out of the café. She walked elegant, her back straight and head up. Andy was confident and you wished sometimes you would be like her. She was free to go wherever she wanted and you would marry a man in one and half weeks who you didn't love. The more time you spend with Andy, the less you were in Aaron's company.

The park was marvelous, pink and red and yellow and white flowers everywhere. You weren't the only people here and you walked along the gravel walks.

“It's long a time ago that I was in park. Well, with someone else than the people I live with,” Andy confessed. “I feel honored,” you replied truthfully.

You knew that Andy didn't have many close friends and you were happy that she considered you as a friend. You were lost in thoughts and didn't notice that you went into an area of the park where was only Andy and you. You didn't mind privacy, but it took you by surprise when Andy interlaced your fingers with hers. You watched her with widened eyes, but when you noticed her insecurity, you felt sorry for your reaction. Your expression softened.

“Is this okay?” she asked carefully. You nodded smiling slightly and squeezed her hand in reassurance. Andy's touch, feeling her warm and smooth skin, made your heart beating faster and your stomach flutter. You thought a lot about the feelings you had for Andy and admitted it was more than a friendship between two women. You read about feelings for the same gender and it wasn't common in the society. But your private life wasn't an issue of the society. You knew your mother expected from you to marry and have children, but in this moment you got doubts if you could ever be a loving wife for Aaron and if the wedding was the right decision. Andy made you to question every decision of your potential future and you thought if you could have a future with Andy.

Andy savoured every minute with you. She felt so alive like she hadn't in centuries and you made her life brighter. She hoped that you cared for her as much as she cared for you. Andy was happy when you didn't pull your hand away and it was a milestone. She knew that you were mortal, but maybe the both of you could make it work, even if these thoughts were ridiculous.

Andy felt like someone watched you both behind her back and glanced over her left shoulder. Not far away stood Booker and nodded once. Something was wrong and she knew it was time for her to leave today.

“I'm devasted, Y/N, but I need to go. I know we usually spend more time together,” Andy declared and her heart ached a little when she saw you were dissapointed. “It has nothing to do with you. A friend need my help,” she added hastily.

Andy didn't want to leave you and she thought about what would make you smile. She looked down at your hands and got an risky idea. She lose your hands and pulled you in a gentle hug. She rubbed the small of your back and then shortly before she pulled back, a feathery kiss was pressed on your cheek. You felt your heart racing and the blush rised up your neck. The skin tingled where her lips touched and you smiled bashfully.

“I'm fine, Andy. Go help your friend,” you responded. Of course, you were sad that she wanted to leave so early. You only had one and a half hour together, usually you spend three to four in the café and you were glad about Andy's choice to walk in park. It made up for her early leaving.

With a small nod she went the way back you came before and you watched after her until you couldn't see her anymore.

*****

“She is a pretty, young woman, boss,” Booker remarked with a half grin.

“I know,” Andy answered simple.

“She seems nice.”

“Yes, she is.”

“Is it then wise to make her any hopes?” Booker accused and Andy stopped walking. She looked back to you and shook her head. “It's too soon to assume that.”

“I don't think she was uncomfortable when you kissed her,” he interjected. Andy snorted and went to the car she parked down the street.

“I didn't kiss her,” she gainsaid.

Andy groaned annoyed. “I don't know if I tell her. I know her for five weeks. It's not like… well, I will see.”

“But it was close. Next time it will be her mouth,” Booker said shrugging. “I only recommend you to be careful. She's mortal. She will age. Does she know you don't?”

Booker glanced at Andy when she started the engine of the car and pulled out into traffic. She didn't want to think about the possibilities she could have with you, how it felt to be loved by someone she loved back. You were the first human that catched her interest in her entire life. She spent time with you, because she liked you, but she didn't know it was worth it to risk everything because she could fall im love with you.

“How got you here?” Andy asked to switch the topic. She needed to be focused and concentrated for the mission. There wasn't any other reason she knew about why Booker would come to get her.

“Nicky and Joe dropped me off. Their already on the way. We will meet them at a dinner,” he explained and Andy nodded.

“Good.” The drive was silent and Andy tried hard to suppress the memory of the shimmer in your eyes after she kissed your cheek.

The job went off without a hitch and Andy was statisfied with the precise and flawless teamwork. She only suffered a few injuries from gun shots and a knife, but she didn't die this time and everything was already healed.

“Good job,” she told her family members and they drove back to the flat they stayed in a small town in the north Texas.

Andy's thoughts wandered to you and she asked herself if you would want a life like that. Always on the run, without knowing what will come tomorrow. And could she on the opposite settle down with you. Spending fifty or sixty years or a little more with you before the nature would take back the life it gave you.

Andy took a deep breath. She had to make a choice: destroying the tender bonding between you or letting her feelings grow for you and risking that it could break her heart.

***

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[princessdong]

Prologue: Breaking In

Masterlist

You had always loved the thrill of the unknown. The thrill of getting where no one has gone because of fear. Jiu called it the thrill of getting yourself killed.

But nevertheless, Jiu was a good friend above everything, and maybe it was the sole reason why she was accompanying you in this strange tradition of getting into haunted places of Korea. Up until then you had been in at least four hospitals, a restaurant, two amusement parks, three houses and a school, having started with the whole idea when you were sixteen.

This time you were getting into one of the most ancient houses of the Jeju Island. Rumors about that place were diverse, as people said that the house was built by the Joseon dynasty, and one of the sons of the emperor lived there along her wife, and them being murdered in that very same house in the middle of the uprisings. Other people said that it actually belonged to a Park family that lived there on the 18th century, and one of them killed everyone. There was a small rumors about a vampiress being the only one living there for a long time.

You didn't care, a haunted house was a haunted house, and it was enough for you to want to get in.

Jiu didn't want to go in, she wanted to be cozy on her home, watching horror movies, but she was dragged once again to somewhere else. The plan was the same as always, to sleep in the place, or at least stay there. Jiu never slept, not even a single time since she decided to tag along with you. So, while you made sure to carry the gear to break in, and sleep in the house, she carried unhealthy amounts of coffee, and food.

You knew that the house was different from any other you had been before, as the door opened fairly easy, like it was opened from inside. The lights functioned perfectly, and most of them were on, except those in the second floor. The kitchen was in perfect condition, and the fridge was totally fine, except the fact that it had no food.

“Are you sure this is the right place?” Jiu asked, getting inside the kitchen.

“Yeah, I made sure of it... Like three times. Maybe someone got in before? Or, who knows, the ghost” You joked, not minding that for once the place was in good shape.

“What if there's someone living here? Like, in the abandoned place, and that's why it only looks creepy on the outside?” Jiu questioned, and you sat on the counter, already feeling comfortable with the place.

The action seemed to only unsettle your best friend more, as quickly walked to you and grabbed your hands, pulling you to your feet, and quickly walking to the living room, which wasn't too far away from the main door.

“Are you scared, Kim Minji? Who would've thought that this friendly house would scare you more than a place that's falling apart.” You teased, not being able to see her distressed face.

“That's exactly the point, you big idiot! An abandoned house should be falling apart both inside and outside!” She let go of your hands and turned around. “This place has been abandoned for who knows for how long, and it stills looks like any other house on the inside! That's not normal!”

Seeing her at the verge of tears, you decided to do something. After all, the last thing you wanted was to get your best friend becoming a crying, distressed mess.

“I have an idea. You go out, Jeju is a beautiful place, and I'm sure you would like to visit under better circumstances. I'll go searching around for any living or strange creature that could make this place unpleasant” You assured her, looking into her eyes, grabbing both of her hands, caressing them with your thumbs “And when I give you the signal, you decide if you wanna come back or not. Deal?”

She looked at you, obviously thinking about it. As tempting as it was, she couldn't let you be at this place so strange all alone.

“No. I'm staying. But... Could you, you know, at least go upstairs to make sure there's no one here? I don't wanna get sued. Or killed”

You chuckled, and nodded, putting your backpack on the floor.

“I'll do so. Can we sleep on one of the bedrooms if we find that there's no one, and they're okay?” You asked in return.

“First you gotta get up and make sure there's no one.”

With that, you let go of her hands, taking your phone from the backpack, and put it on one of the pockets of you sweatshirt.

“Remember, wait for the signal to go upstairs, or run.”

You walked to the stairs, with long confident steps, and once you got to the stairs, you switched on the lights.

The second floor was just as perfect as it was downstairs, and although it was certainly creepy, you tried to think into a reasonable explanation for it.

There were five doors on each side of the hallway, and you quickly found out that the first one was a bathroom. It was as big as your bedroom, and it was as luxurious as it could be a bathroom from a palace, but other than that, there was nothing strange. The one in front of it was a bedroom. It had far less luxury than it was the bathroom, but it still had something that made you feel like you had to be a countess to be allowed to sleep in there.

You kept opening rooms, finding bedrooms that varied on luxury, and a bathroom that was as imponent as the first one. By now you only had two doors left, as one of them was the one who signaled the end of the corridor, and the other was the last door on the left. You decided to open first the one in the left, only to find yourself greeted by different types of instruments. There were violins, guitars, a flute, and many others. But, apart from that, nothing out of the common.

Quickly closing the door, you decided to go for the last door.

Inside of that door, was a bedroom worth of being occupied by a Queen. You were even sure that any queen would envy that place. It had a chandelier, a bedroom where at least five people could get in, and still there would be room for each of them to sleep freely. A huge closet was also there, and there was another door, which you could only think of as yet another bathroom. But other than the blinding amount of gold and silver in that bedroom, there was nothing out of the ordinary. At least, that's what you thought, until you turned around to get out of the room, finding that the door that you had left opened was now closed.

But you were forgetful, so you wouldn't deny that there was some possibility that you didn't realized that you had closed the door, and it wasn't until you felt a gush of wind and you were pinned with your back against said door, with a pair of dark brown eyes looking deep into your soul that something was off. You wanted to scream, but a hand flew to your mouth, and the grip on your hips only tightened.

“You little pestering human... You broke into my house, and looked into every single room like you had the right to. And you brought another like you into the house.”

Her voice was sweet like honey to your ears, despite it being full of anger, and coming out low, almost as a growl.

“It's an abandoned house! Or I thought it was! I wouldn't come if I would've known that-”

“And now you can't just go out, because that other human would be suspicious” She interrupted you, thinking out loud. “I guess I could use you both as bloodbags... No, I wouldn't, even though it's tempting.”

With that, she let you go, although not moving from her place, and you weren't sure of what to do.

“You must stay the night with the other pestering human, only to make her believe that no one lives here. No one can know about me, you can't tell.” She ordered, and you looked at her, confused.

“Why wouldn't I? There's someone living here, everyone thought that there was a”

“A ghost? A vampire? Well, they're not wrong with that” She interrupted you once again.

You looked at her, furrowing you eyebrows, and then a smile broke into your face. There it was, Jiu had made you a prank, or tried to scare you to get to stop getting into haunted places.

“Ah, yeah, I see. You really got me, that much I'll admit. You could really become an actress.”

The woman in front of you frowned, looking confused.

“Excuse me?”

“You want me to believe that you're a ghost? Or a vampire?” You scoffed “I'm not dumb, vampires don't-”

Before you could finish the sentence, she had you lifted by the throat, looking at you with now red eyes, veins under them, and fangs coming out from under her upper lips. She smiled, and it was when those fangs looked even more scary.

“Does this look real enough for you, darling?” She sneered, and you tried to say anything, but the grip on your throat didn't let you. “Listen up, you're only staying to not raise suspicions, but once the sun goes up, you and the other goes away. You're not allowed to sleep in my room, or any other room that isn't the first one. Is that understood?”

You could only nod, as you couldn't speak, and she let you go. You started breathing properly again, looking at her dead in the eye. You could've staked her, or slapped her, or even scream at her, but you didn't do anything. However, she could see the fury in your eyes, but it didn't stopped her to keep looking at you with her stoic face.

You were to get out, you even opened the door, but you stopped.

“Who are you?” You asked, looking at her once again.

“A vampiress” She answered.

“I asked who are you. Not what.”

“Joy.”

Knowing that you wouldn't get anything else from her, you nodded, and then closed the door.

You walked downstairs, still thinking of your encounter, when you got hit by Jiu, who thought you were someone coming for her. And it was then when you realized that you had completely forgotten about the signal.

“Fuck, Jiu, I'm really sorry, I got too caught up with looking around and forgot it."

“I could've died! You scared me!” She shouted, and it was then that you realized that you shouldn't tell her about Joy.

“Don't worry, there's no one here, it's just another boring place”

[clareisa]

Monsta X As: Sons Of 7 Princes Of Hell [their curse]

- Although they are sons of the most powerful demons in the hell, they have pure souls given by their human mothers. But their fathers all left in theirs sons the sin they are representing which is making their lives complicated. These young men learned about their demonic powers and gifts. As they grew up they learned how to tame down their sins but sometimes it was much more powerful than them.

- Will there ever be someone who will show them the other side of their demonic self? Maybe it will be you... maybe thanks to you they'll deserve their place in heaven despite their origin...

Shownu:

Son of Beelzebub, prince of Gluttony

Hyunwoo always loved to eat since he was young child but as he was growing his hunger was becoming bigger and bigger

He was always saying that it was because he was very active so he needed lot of food

But he secretly knew why his hunger was endless and he always cursing his father, the one he never met

Along with gluttony came greed as well, most of the time he was unable to share anything and mainly food

That's why he liked to be alone, he could have more for himself and the he wasn't so ashamed if there wasn't any people around

Hyunwoo wanted to share deep down but he couldn't bring himself to do it

His sin made him turn into lonely human being with only one happiness in the world, food

But one day he started to change. It was the day he met you

You were the new cook in his favourite restaurant

You were the most perfect woman he ever saw and something inside told him that he must get you

He asked you out and it worked. You said yes and he found happiness in your answer and in your company

He was strictly saying no to dinner or lunch dates because he was "on diet"

The truth was that he didn't wanted his sin to take over him while you are watching. He thought you would be disgusted and left him like everyone else

But one day you finally convinced him because u were really hungry. He was sitting next to you behind the table nervous and sweating because he knew he wouldn't able to stop himself

But when the food arrived and you asked "Can I try from yours?" you asked sweetly

Old sinful Hyunwoo would react in mean way but suddenly something clicked and he surprised himself by nodding

When he feed you a spoon and saw your smile after saying thank you he felt his endless hunger going away

Hyunwoo found new happiness that is stronger than the sin his father gave him

And it was you

Seeing you smile made him finally feel happiness from other things than just food

You were his guardian angel... He must said that angel that could cook like a God

Wonho:

Son of Satan, prince of Wrath

Hoseok was the most pure and peaceful baby boy you could imagine

But as he was growing the anger in him was growing as well

He knew that it's his father's fault that he was getting angry over simple things and wanted to fight everyone who disagree with him

As he felt his wrath was getting out of control he started working out, boxing, martial arts... just anything where he could release his sin

But even this didn't help with everything

He was still fighting people on street when be just simply didn't like their face

Most of the time he almost killed the people

Hoseok wasn't satisfied until his knuckles wasn't red and the other human wasn't bleeding and coughing out blood

Hurting people and being angry was so addicting to him

He just couldn't stop himself even is he wanted to

Anger replaced almost all his emotions he used to have

That changed on night when he was walking home and heard scream

He found you trying to get out of the grip of the man who were obviously drunk and wanted to take advantage of you

His anger raised and he threw him off of you

He always regretted when be was beating up someone at least a little but not in that moment

When he almost killed the guy you screamed and touched his biceps to stop him

To his surprise he did stop

When he looked at you with tears in your eyes and wounded lip all his anger disappeared and was replaced with fear

Fear of you being hurt

He took you to his arms and ran with you to the hospital

He was waiting there for whole night and when they let you go home you thanked him and invited him out as a thank you

Hoseok agreed and since then everytime he was with you he never felt angry

His thoughts wasn't hateful anymore because he was thinking about you

And when your face appeared in his mind only thing be could think was how fragile, beautiful angel you are and that he want to treat you gently how you deserve

You were his angel... angel that always woke tenderness and gentleness in him

Minhyuk:

Son of Mammon, prince of Greed

Minhyuk's sin started showing up already in his early childhood

He never wanted to share toys with other kids and was getting angry when someone touched something that was his

As he was growing up it was getting worse

His attitude made him lonely, no one wanted to hang out with him

But he didn't care, he was happy all alone just with his precious property

Yes, he was very successful in his work and he for sure didn't struggle because of money

But people hated him and wished just the worst for him

At one of nights when he was enjoying himself in club he saw you with your friends

Minhyuk immediately wanted to have you, he wanted you to be only his

He was very charming and you agreed to go out with him but you really quickly realised his greedines

He was so jealous, no one could talk to you when you were with him because he wanted you just for himself

As you were walking throught park a homeless woman came to you and asked for a food

Minhyuk was ready to yell at her but he froze when you gave her your corndog and even a bottle of water you took from your bag

"Why did you do That?" he was stunnned

You smiled and kissed his cheek "It was right. You should try it sometimes too." you smiled at him

Since then Minhyuk was thinking about it a lot

You looked happy that you helped her and he wanted to make you happy

Minhyuk asked you why you are with him since he is like that and you just said that you love him

You saying that broke something in his greed heart

He started with little things like allowing you wearing his clothes

And with your help he even started donating money to charities

And to his surprise it felt amazing

He loved helping other people and your praise was the best prize for it

You were his guardian angel that showed him how amazing it is to interact with the world and how amazing it feel to help

Kihyun:

Son of Lucifer, prince of Pride

Kihyun always thought he is special

He grew into prideful man

He knew he was good looking and he could have anyone but he didn't want to simply because no one would be enough for such a perfect man as him

He was always praising himself and his ego was growing

His sin made him shameless around people and because he was so sure he is better than everyone he ended up alone as well

It wasn't such a problem for him since he loved himslef so much

Why be shouldn't? He was extremely handsome, intelligent, talented and just perfect right?

For the first time he felt shame was the day he met you as his new co-worker

You were perfect match for him and he was so sure he can get you easily

That's why Kihyun was so shocked when you said no to his cocky question

He was speechless and he was ashamed like never before, he felt so small. So imperfect. So unimportant

For the first time in his life

Since you were his new co-worker you were seeing him every day and everyone saw how Yoo Kihyun became quiet when you walked to the room

He didn't want to even look into your eyes from embarrassment

When others told you this you were shocked but pleased a little as well

But when Kihyun didn't even look at you, you wanted to change it

"I'm sorry for being so mean." you told him in the morning

Kihyun didn't what to say but he stuttered a small "you don't need to be"

In the end you told him that you would love to go out with him but he can't be as cocky as he was when you first met

Kihyun suddenly felt like the happiest person on earth and in humble tone he said yes

He couldn't believe how shy he was around you and how much he was admiring you and everything you were doing

You were his angel that kept him humble and the one he always admired no matter what

Hyungwon:

Son of Belphegor, prince of Sloth

Hyungwon was never active which made all people around him worried

He was too lazy to study so his student life wasn't good

He was too lazy to go out with friends which was leading to losing them

Lastly he was lazy to even eat that's why he was so skinny, not healthily skinny like he used to be but almost deadly skinny and pale

His relationship was never good with people because he was too lazy to help them, meet them or even talk to them

The only thing that was keeping him alive was his cat

The only living being that he always take care about

His cat was his best buddy

She didn't talk but cuddled with him all the time and was helping him to fall asleep

So when his cat ran away he was crashed

That's why when he heard her meowing by the door he ran the fastest in his life

When he opened the door he saw the most perfect woman holding his cat lovingly in her arms while petting her

He was so thankful

Your hands touched when you gave him his cat back and Hyungwon never felt so much energy going throught his body

Smiling, he asked if he can't ask you for dinner as a thank you for his cat. You said yes

Since that day Hyungwon was almost shining

He became a whole sunshine

He was with you every day and when you said yes to his love confession his laziness disappeared

He was so full of energy when he was thinking about you

Everytime you touched him it was like you were recharging him with life

He was never happier, thanks to you he started enjoying life to the fullest

He sometimes heard the voice of the sin of his father but with you by his side he always successfully ignored it

Jooheon:

Son of Leviathan, prince of Envy

The monster with green eyes was inseparable part of Jooheon's life

Since he was small he was envious

He was jealous of everyone and everything

That resulted in hatred towards people

He knew he shouldn't be but his father's sin was stronger than him

He was always asking himself "Why they have this? Why not me?" Or "they don't deserve it but I do! Why i can't do that or have That?"

He felt like whole world is against him

He felt like people don't deserve what they have

His mean gaze always scared people

And if he found some friends they quickly ran away after realising his true colour

He couldn't have relationship because he was always jealous

Because his girl should have be just his. She shouldn't have talk with her mom, right?

He saw you for the first time at bus stop at early spring

You had your new green beanie and Jooheon being his usual self he was envious even about your beauty

You were looking at him and when you smiled he felt even bigger rage

How dare you to be so beautiful?

But he froze when you took off your beanie and put it gently on his head

"You look much better than me. I look funny in them." you smiled brightly at him

His heart in a second warmed up and the frown from his face disappeared

And he did something he never thought he would do

He took the beanie and gave it back to you with smile "you looked really cute with it. Please, wear it." He said

"Here you must be cold." He said and gave you his hot packs

As you took it, said thank you and smiled at him, Jooheon couldn't stop the warm feeling

You went to nice coffee and after that jooheon didn't know how to live without you

You were angel that took him away from his curse

Changkyun:

Son of Asmodeus, prince of Lust

When he was small he was the most innocent human you could imagine

But when his teenage years began Changkyun started to be uncontrollable

He couldn't live one day without sex

Sex was his drug and he could last for many rounds

It was the reason why girls left him

Yes, they liked the perfect sex he was giving but he was obsessed

He wanted to have it all day everyday and be hurt many girls in process

And he became bored of them easily as well

Thanks to his demon origine he never caught some sickness from all the girls he was with

But when he met you... His life changed

You were so pure, so innocent but at the same time you weren't stupid

He was charming and he knew how to ask you out

But when it came to your date, he didn't even think about sex

You were gorgoues but for some reason the only thing he could think about was him holding your hand, dancing with you, cuddling with you or just kissing your forehead

You fell for his charms of course and started dating

Changkyun changed and your first time was after months, almost after year and he made it perfect

Gentle, slow and full of love and not lust

You showed him that life is much more than physical pleasure

[ironwoman18]

The Worst Third Date Ever part 25

Chapter 25: I Now Pronounce You...

After the terrible situation there were in the principal sent an email to her teachers and the parents to take the rest of the week off.

And she also recommended a psychology to help them got over it. Spencer asked Emily to take a few days to stay with Max, his boss understood that and she accepted it.

That day he drove her to his apartment and they drank a tea and cuddled on his couch "I don't know if you prefer to stay in your apartment. I don't have a TV or something to distract you, just books"

She looked up at him and rubbed his cheek "Spence... I'm happy just to be with you" she just smiled "and I'm thankful to have you close to me" then kissed him.

"I love you and I just want you to feel comfortable"

"I love you too and I am comfortable" he nodded and hugged her tightly "so... um... do you want to talk about the invitation card?"

She laughed "actually... yes" she faced him and when he was about to speak again, she pressed her finger on his lips "I thought about it after I left your apartment, and at first I was upset because I loved the design but then I realized... this is something for us. Not just mine" she held his hands "and my hero deserves to be part of the decisions too so. Maybe tomorrow we can go back to my friend's and asked her to pick a color we both like"

He smiled and nodded "sounds fair enough" they hugged each other.

"Also can we use these days to work on our wedding?"

"Sure, maybe we can even visit Krystall to see the garden and decide everything" she nodded.

"I like that idea" she laid on his chest "and let's not mention what happened, please?"

"Ok but it's good to talk about traumatic events so your mind doesn't feel overwhelmed by the negative emotions"

"There's my doctor... I understand what you mean and I just wish I had a strong mind like yours but I'm not"

"I was suffering out there, I managed to concentrate because I needed to save you and those kids, but thoughts of Maeve and what happened to her came immediately to my mind and Emily had to get me the boss speech to force me to focus" he looked at her "I don't have a strong mind. I just learned how to focus instead of breaking" she kissed him.

"I'm sorry. You are right baby" she has some tears and sighed "when I'm ready we can talk" he nodded and wiped her tears.

"Ok I will respect that. Now do you want to order food from your favorite restaurant and we can check some things for the wedding on your laptop?"

"Sure I would love to" she got out her phone and called to order her favorite dish and orders what he usually orders. She loved tacos and her favorite place was close from his apartment.

Then she picked up her laptop and they started to pick up some decorations for the garden. She liked what Krystall used to decorate at Penelope's party so Max wanted something like that.

Spencer also picked some stuffs he liked, but he left her pick almost everything else. His goal was to distract and relax her.

She was excited and by the time the food arrived she picked everything up. They ate checking rings designs.

"Do you have your poem for our vows?" She asked when they finished to eat and she helped him washing the dish.

"Yes. I have a book of poems and I found it the next day we decided to do that" he smiled looking at her "and you?"

"Same" she looked back and smiled.

"Derek is planning the bachelor party" he sighed "I'm afraid of what he planned" she laughed "don't laugh! Derek loves to make me uncomfortable or tease me"

"Just like a big brother" she laughed more "I tease Eloise and Michelle a lot and they do the same. Like when Michelle almost marry us when we first met" she smiled "I was so embarrassed..."

"Yeah I could feel it in your voice. I didn't say anything to not make it worst" she splashed some water on him "hey!" He said and splashed her back "you love playing with water, huh?"

And they have a little war splashing each other until the floor was wet and so were they.

"Damn... now I have to dry the floor" said him looks for the mop.

"Totally worth it" she laughed as she followed him.

"Yeah I thought you would say that" he raised his eyebrow "go that a shower I got this covered"

"You sure?" He nodded "ok boss" she laughed and left the kitchen walking to his bathroom.

When he finished cleaning the floor she was done with her shower and walked in the kitchen wearing one of his shirt.

"Ok go take a shower. I will finish this" he looked at her and nodded and left to the bathroom.

She put the mop in it's place then walked to his bedroom where she was reading one of the books his mother gave him. 15th century literature was great.

When he walked into his room and he smiled at her, then he sat next to her "my mom used to read me those poems"

"Really? That's cute" she leaned on his chest and read one more poem then put the book on the nightstand and turned to hug Spencer "goodnight" she kissed him then fell asleep with her head on his chest.

The next morning the couple decided to go change the design of their invitation cards. They picked the white car with bronze flowers and lines also their names and the address.

Then they went to pick their rings. He picked a thick golden ring, she picked a thinner golden ring with three little diamonds on it and they decided to write their names and their wedding date on them. Those rings will be ready some days before the wedding.

At the afternoon they drove to Rossi's house where Krystall was waiting for them. David was in a case so there will only be the three of them.

She invited them lunch and they talked about the wedding plans. They decided to say theirs 'I do' to a preacher.

Krystall offered the service of the waiters they had at Penelope's party and she insisted saying it was part of their present so she will not accept a no.

They left some hours later and drove to Max's dad house. They shared some more time there. Spencer told them to not mention yesterday's incident. And they did not.

She gave her sisters and dad's invitations and she asked Michelle if Sammy could give a speech at there wedding. They talked about their plans for the wedding and her father was so happy he had tears listening to Max.

"You know it was my dream to married her off" Spencer looked a Michelle remembering what she said that day at the park and Max was blushing "she is the most stubborn of them and I was worry she would never marry especially after Mike Davis"

"Dad..." she was looking at the ceiling.

"What? Spencer is part of the family and I want him to know I'm happy you two met" Spencer smiled.

"I'm also happy Max and I met. I was having to bad situations at the moment we talked and she helped me so"

She kissed his cheek and her dad's cheek "I love you both" she smiled.

They changed the subject and after dinner they went back to his apartment.

After that the next few weeks was calmer. They went back to work and there usual routine. At first Max was nervous about returning to work but Spencer calmed her and promised her everything will be back to normal and that she can stay in his apartment until their wedding.

The weekend before the wedding Derek took Spencer and all the men of the BAU to a bar to his bachelor party. Even Hotch was present at that party

Meanwhile Michelle talked with the BAU women and they did the same with Max and her bachelorette party.

The women drank and dance at Penelope's who offered her apartment for the party.

Spencer and the men went to a bar and drank and eat. Their party was calmer but still the bar has some surprises for the groom and his friends.

All of them returned for their home late that night and they spent their Sunday at Max's dad's home.

That last week was intense for them. She needed to pick up the dresses for the two flowers girls, her bridesmaids and he needed to pick their rings and also get his suit.

He asked Morgan to go with him and Derek went with Hank to get him his suit. They spent that day together.

"So how is the rent business?" Spencer asked after he changed back.

"Great, the houses I bought while I was in the bureau are working perfectly fine" he picked one like the suits he usually wore in his early days in the BAU "I'm winning enough to buy another and work on it"

"So you are busy" said Spencer.

"Yeah and I'm thinking about teach self-defense classes at the community center maybe even softball"

"You were a great teacher when you got me into that game against National Security" they laughed and after he tried his suit and checked Hank's. Derek insisted in paid them as his gift for him.

After that the two men and the boy ate icecream at the park and talked more about everything that happened since they last saw.

Later that day they went to their houses. The rest of the days went by fast, they did the rehearsal of the ceremony and tried the food they will eat at the wedding, and March 14 arrived.

Max spent the night before at her sister's house. The wedding would be at 6PM so they went to the same spa they visited for Christmas.

Meanwhile Spencer went to visit his mom. She was so excited and she told everyone in the hospital about his wedding so a nurse will take her to the ceremony and returned her home when it was done.

The hours passed and Spencer went to Rossi's house where the Italian man kissed his cheek affectionately and patted the other.

"Congratulazioni son" he smiled "come here" he led him to a room "here you can change and put your suitcase for your first night as a married couple"

"Thank you Dave, I'm so thankful that you allowed us to use your house for our wedding"

"Spencer, you know I'm love parties and I wouldn't miss the opportunity to host your wedding" he smiled "now... Krystall and I thought about this and we decided to buy you a week in Italy" he handed him the tickets"

"Oh my... you shouldn't Dave" he smiled watching the tickets.

"Yes I should. You, Luke and Matt are like my sons. I saw you growing from an awkward to this man in front of me, strong here" he pointed his head "and here" he pointed to his heart "and I'm sure Jason could be proud of you"

Spencer had some tears and hugged him "and you are like my second father figure and my support when Gideon died" they smiled "thank you"

"You are welcome kid. I will always be there for you and your family" they hugged once again and they went to change into their suits.

When they were ready the rest of the BAU arrived to the house, they made a toast and walked to the garden. Morgan and his family arrived, then Hotch with Jack. They went to the garden and Penelope hugged Morgan and they flirted like always making all laughed and have a good time remembering their intentions.

Later Max's family and her friends arrived and sat in there seats. Spencer's mom arrived soon after and sat with Max's family where she talked to Don and Max's sisters.

Spencer and Derek stood at the altar with the preacher. Don walked in the house to walk Max to the altar.

"I feel like my stomach its going to explode"

Derek laughed "that's normal pretty boy. It will stop when you see her walking towards you" Spencer smiled.

"I can't wait" the two men smiled then the music started and the Simmons girls walked in throwing flowers as their mom taught them.

Then the ringbearers Michael and Hank walked in, one has Spencer's ring and the other Max's.

After fifteen seconds, Spencer counted in his mind, Max walked out the house behind the little kids with her father with his arm wrapping hers.

Spencer's eyes were on her. Her white dress hugged her curves around the right places, it has some decorations around the skirt.

Her dad walked her to her soon-to-be husband. Some women were already crying as Don handed Spencer the hand of his daughter "take good care of her Spencer" he patted his hand and walked to sit down.

"Good evening. We are here to witness the union of these couple. Spencer Reid and Maxine Brenner. Now in front of your friends and family, say your vows, please" he said turning to Max "ladies first"

Max nodded and took a deep breath then she looked at him "Spencer... since we met, you stare at me like I’m the only girl on Earth, you make me feel important and show me my true worth. You’re always there for me, you never let me down" this part brought back the memories of what happened a few weeks away "You make me feel like a princess wearing a golden crown. You’ve shown me how to live, how to smile, how to play, and forever I will love you, each and every single day"

Then it was Spencer's turn "Max... I never was good to express my feelings, my friends at the BAU can tell you it's truth so, when I say you’re my life, I hope you know that it’s true, when I tell you you’re my world, know that I only have eyes for you.

When the words cannot come because you take my breath away, know that I love you more than words could ever say" she smiled at him.

"Very good and touching. Now Maxine and Spencer let's exchange the rings" Derek called both kids and tell Hank to hands the ring to Max and Michael to hand the ring to Spencer. Both kids did what he said and walked to sit with their moms "Spencer Reid do you take Maxine Brenner to be my wedded wife. To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part"

"I do" he slide the ring on her left ring finger.

Then he turned to Max "and Maxine Brenner do you take Spencer Reid to be my wedded husband. To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part"

"I do" And she slide the ring on his left ring finger.

"Now by the authority vested in me by the Court of the United States of America, I now pronounce you Husband and Wife. What God has brought together let no man or woman put asunder. Groom, you may now kiss your bride" and with that Spencer leans in to kiss her just like he once did in the FBI elevator. Everybody clapped at the newlyweds.

Then they all moved to the table while everyone congratulated them and hugged them.

Spencer and Max had their first dance as a married couple. She picked 'You are in love' by Taylor Swift, they danced to that song on Christmas and after that, she realized how in love she fell for him. That song showed everything they felt for each other and she thought it could be perfect for that magical night.

https://youtu.be/dgH-lRKiZjo

They danced really close, forgetting everything around them. In that moment the only thing in there minds was each other.

When the song finished he kissed her again and the presents gave then a round of applause as they sat. There were some speeches from some friends congratulating them and hoping for the best for them.

The night was full of happiness and it was a good time to relax. Spencer danced with his mom and Max with her dad. She danced with each member of the BAU and he danced with her and his girl friends and even her sisters.

After dinner and cake, Derek gave some touching words about Spencer and how proud he was of his little brother from another mother and wishing him good luck in his love life.

Sammy spoke next explaining how his aunt and his, now, uncle met and everyone laughed at the story and some comments the young boy said. He finished his speech with the only magic trick he mastered making everyone clapped at the kid.

Spencer told her about Rossi's present so tomorrow after breakfast they will need to pick up some bags to left at night to Europe.

OOooOOooOO

I hope you liked it. I don't want it to make what we are facing, you know the Covid-19, into this story. That's why I picked Rome as their honeymoon.

May be even a few days in Paris?

I will read you in the next chapter.

[phoneismybf]

TharnType the Series Ep. 8 Review

I'm not ready for this episode yet people are very exited for the torture (?). Lol.

#TharnTypeEp8 #TharnTypeS #TharnTypetheSeries

It is unsual to see TumTar at the beginning but it is good to see them smile like that. Do you see that big smile from Tar when Tum plays the certain melody? Finally he can smile that free. Well suddenly sad again because of the birthday notification. Hurry up both of you need to clear everything.

Watch TharnType the Series Ep. 8 Engsub

Okay Ai Tharn we knew that you like dark chocolate now but don't emphasis it. We knew who has a darker skin. Yes, khun mom want to see him, why you don't say that he is yours. Hahaha. (I think he remembers what Type said about he is not ready yet, yes, okay, gentleman) Now here he is, the P'San Khrap. Seems he really close to this family already. Liau, wait, Tharn isn't that happy receiving the gift from him. What is this, miss the 14 of Tharn, may be he was a cry baby back then but not now P'. Yes, no more cute little boy, he already have a daddy's little boy at the dorm. Oiiii, such a supportive big bro, yes Tharn is more handsome than him and look at Tharn's smile. He probably said "I love you big bro" in silence.

Ai No.... Euuuu he should go with Tharn to his house so Tharn could introduce him to everyone there. SEE...... EVERYONE HEAR THAT, THIS IS THE REASON WHY TYPE WANTED TO TELL NO ONLY BECAUSE HE IS THE ONE WHO WILL SPILL THE TEA. SO TYPE DOSEN'T NEED TO EXPLAIN OR DECLARE ANYTHING. LMAO. KEEP ASKING PEUN.... KEEP ASKING CHAMP, COME ON CORNER BOTH OF THEM. DAMN not this time guys... Let them "kin" each other, I mean kin the grilled meats. Look at No's apologies, how cute he is. Hahaha

Got an Audy bae... Ready to pick you up. Have a car but live in a condo. What else you could think Ai No beside it is more convenient for practice music, of course to let Type scream without anyone knows what they are doing. LOL.

Peun... Don't judge a book by its cover. The one who know the real Tharn is Type only between all of you. Also he is his wify so don't ever think to say anything bad about Tharn.

Techno really digs everything on Type, he is curious now about their relationship. Ai No... You are a good friend but I'm worry you will spill more. See, even he is the one who mention about P'San first to Type. Meung maeng....

Type.... make a wish for Tharn, please. You never make a wish on your birthday or never wish or pray for other for their own goodness? Why he can't understand? Yes, the bed is all yours don't feel ngao/lonely.

Yes, Long always remember his crush's birthday. I want to dig information from him. I'm sure that he likes Tharn. No excuses with those facebook updates. P'San was Tharn first love, O.K. may the war come then.

WHAT THE F*CKKKKKK. WHAT DID TYPE GIVE? WHAT THE, BAD, YOU BAD BOY. YOU ARE NOT DADDY'S LITTLE BOY ANYMORE. HOW MANY TIMES BOTH OF YOU WILL DO IT? MY RATIONAL THINKING HAS STOP WORKING. CUTE BUT NO NO NO... YOU WERE GOOD TO NOT TELLING AI NO ABOUT THE PRESENTS. "hurry up come, I'm already dying to use the presents" Tharn. WHATEVER LA MEUNG....

YES, YOU HAVE ALL THE FLAVORS, WE KNEW YOUR FAVORITE IS C.H.O.C.H.O.L.A.T.E. He is starving for food not for S yet. Hurry up get him one then do the rounds later. Look at that satisfying smile on Type's face. Why I can't resist his cuteness though. Wow he opened the wraped present, not good boy not good, the owner didn't know it yet. Just say it you just got jealous. I smell something after this, what will Tharn do? Ai Tharn what will you do? Don't tell me that you the one who will start a fire between Type and P'San.

SEE.... TECHNO SPILLED IT AGAIN TO HIS FRIENDS, THE QUEENS. OIII AI NOO..... a little bit but (sigh). "I think he wants to keep it secret to" Type. Hell no, we all know the truth. "then why you still upset, shouldn't you be crazy in love with your boyfriend?" Techno. They were intended to be crazy in love but were canceled Ai No. Yes, help them make up so they can make love later. Mmmm... What?

Ow that smile comes from Tharn. I know there is something odd. Not funny Tharn, if you make, what I think, come true. Type really such an honest person, he keeps the emotion on his face while greeting P'San. YOU ARE JEALOUS AI TYPE. P'San's radar is on, get over that hand P, don't let people burn in jealousy. AI TECHNOOO WHY HE IS SUCH A J*RK. YOU SAID YOU WANNA HELP THEM TO MAKE UP. I can see Tharn don't want him to join too. Ai No... Why? Even Tharn is worry now about Type. I really want to punch this PEUN on his face, WHY HE MENTIONED THAT GIRL. SUCH A TRIAL FRIEND. That hand P' yud leui... Stop it... Now you understand right? Ai No... I can see your reaction, I'll punch you if you still act innocent. F*CK OFF BRO YOU GET ON MY NERVE. STOP BEING CURIOUS AND YOU STILL CAN LAUGH LIKE THAT. DONE WITH YOU. BYE... BETRAYAL. SEE..... I know he doesn't like raw food that's why he ordered the grilled one. But he never tells Tharn because he feels uneasy to say it when Type ordered a lot of raw food. But, it will become another problem if both of them don't talk about it. Bad situation, bad friend. Say it that he is your, Type, or silence and talk later with your present doing (coughing).

A mature and a childish. This will happen. Now Tharn take control, he is upset not to Type but P'San, to much spoiler. Yes, he didn't spit it because his boyfriend fed him and now he is a mature one he can eat raw as he likes at least he doesn't have an allergic. If he has an allergic and never tell Type, this will be problematic. So, just forget the past and go on. Hahhhh, this P'San, he never gives up. I think he still hoping for Tharn to be his again. That's why he always come every year to get more chances. That's what will happen Type, if you never tell other who Tharn is, people will keep coming to bother both of you except you are mature enough to not think about it and live what you both should live.

I'm speechless.... Type, you are more complicated than a girl who say "whatever" when she is asked what she want to eat and go for a war later because she doesn't give any clue. Jebb, why my heart hurt, this is not my problem, this is yours. You are tiring even Tharn said that too to his brother. Yes, you never listen, everything he said those are what he likes and what he hates, you are the one who never learn, you are the one who never understand, never ask, never curious about something might he likes or hate the most. What you think is only those c*ndoms. You even don't know that he likes chocolate. Stubborn, childish, stupid, heartless, what else guys? It is hurting me to see Tharn crying again. He always be honest, he knew you really like that restaurant, he ate and didn't spit. Appreciate it bro. Now he said, P'San is more understand him, Think bro think, don't be so emotional, you look like a girl on their period. LOL. He even said he hate "break up" the most. He already tired, give him more happiness. Don't make him like me, I already tired to find one, I even think to live my life alone. So don't ever make him to freeze his heart. A frozen heart will be very hard to melt. Meung maeng.... Assh*le.

Arghhh I hate this rollercoaster. Yes Type yess I forgive you such adorable human being. But Tharn seems thinking about your words na. So, be careful. His heart is weak, he might be through a hardest path before that you would never think. "You won't never suffer as much as I do anyway" Tharn. Jebb mak Ai Tharn. You stabbing my heart, we are the same don't say that.

So that is the real story about P'San and Tharn. Why it reminds me something. Team up with Type, yes, I hate him too. Thorn was took care of Thanya to hospital and he banged Tharn, he has a thick face seriously even Thorn was hit him that much. Of course he was that cute when he was 14 but it wasn't the right way to bang an under age. Poor Tharn, he was innocent that is why he gave P'San in. We talk about the comfort not the rational. Suddenly blow my emotion, it seriously reminds me something that I don't want to recall. F*ck. I can see something in Thorn's eyes, he knew that his friend is good but also dangerous. Thorn knew his goodness and badness, yet Tharn knew only his goodness. Ironic. Why we are so connected Ai Tharn. (take a deep breath). Marked, P'San.

"If a woman ask you to sleep with her, don't you want to do it too?" Tharn. Bro, mind your age! May be I'm an old fashioned but I'm agree with the statement that we can't do these kind of stuff under 17. I mean take a look on the safest age. If something happen, you will lose your teenage time while you can play and hangout with friends as much as you like before you are busy with those time consuming work. Well if you are gay yes that pregnant will never happen yet it concerns to moral lessons. Others may think were born to be a gay or trapped in a wrong gender. In my situation it is not about you were born to be a gay but it is because you were experienced with a guy in that young age. The age where you were build your pesonality who you want to become. And may be Tharn did the same thing to Tar like P'San did to him. Experience lead him to be like P'San but thanks God that he is mature enough to differentiate what is good and what is bad. The comfort lead him to a guy, first thing that will stuck forever in mind, that's why he couldn't do it with a girl. The feeling and the comfort for man and woman are different. Some people easily to change it but for people like Tharn, me and Type, we already had the experience since the younger age, and we can't change it easily. It already stucked in the heart and mind. More complicated if you bring a word 'sin' to here for people who have religion like me, man, frustrating. I had what Tharn had, I did what P'San did and it has been lead me to live a life full of guilty. But, gratefully they did with girl. I don't want them to be influenced by me about this thing. That's why I whised for a frozen heart, I don't want others to be influenced, until he came melt the ice only by his attitude and went away after he knew me. Then it freezing again. But thanks to him that I can felt the warm again even though it was short and wasn't influenced. That's why I love to see Tharn and Type or every couple in a drama having good relationship, let them be happy even it is a forbidden love. They have a right to be happy.

I do really love the way of Type for making up. I can't resist. He is so, cute. Sugar rush.... Yes Type, P'San is great to be hated. Why don't you tell him that Tharn is yours? See, Tharn also ask the same question. But you're not ready yet. Fine... Slowly, I understand, he also understand. "Don't forget what you have said" Type. He will never forget, Type, as long as you can have a good talk if both of you facing another problem.

MY GOD SUCH A TRIAL SENIOR. I'm done with P'San. Bad ending, next episode will full of tension again. This drama is complicated and tiring, even it just about a story of two persons.

See you soon pal.... I hope you like reading my review. I'm sorry if I sometimes put my personal matter in it. Hopefully it may help you to understand the situation or people like us. Or may be one of you have the same problem. Don't hesitate to tell me. We are at the same wheel. Cheer up...

[the-karasu-no-one-knows]

Jason.

After 3 1/2 months at the hospital, I was taken straight to an all girls boarding school. I wasn't even allowed to bring more items from home to the school. My father had taken me on a day pass to check out a co-ed facility in upstate NY and then the one on Long Island (that I eventually went to and graduated from with an A status).

What I was more excited about was seeing Jason over in the village at that halfway house he was at. I had the address and everything and on visitation with my father, we decided to head in that direction so I could spend some time with Jason. I was somewhat familiar with St.Marks place, but not enough. I knew CBGB's and Bleaker Bobs and other record stores and Enchantments, but where he was at, I knew my dad would know.

I was nervous as all fuck because this would be the first time outside of the hospital that I would actually be able to spend time with Jason. The closer we got to that place, the more nervous and sick to my stomach I became.

We finally got to the halfway house and I headed towards the front desk with my dad and brother. I asked for Jason and they called the floor he was at and they said that he would be down. I sat in the day area and waited. My dad knew I was nervous and my brother found that comical. My heart was beating so fast and my hands were cold and sweaty. I was so freaked out inside.

Coming down the stairs, there is Jason in shorts and no shirt and flip flops.

I nearly collapsed! I had never seen him without a shirt on. My dad was also pretty surprised and my brother just laughed. Jason was so excited to see me. He gave me this huge hug and nearly lifted me off the ground. I melted in his arms and felt like fainting. I finally knew what it was like to be near him.

He had this massive smile on his face and told me that he would be right back. My dad had asked me if I knew what my plans were with Jason and that he thought of taking us all out to Vselka's (polish restaurant) for lunch. That sounded like a great idea and I knew Jason would be up for it, after he finished getting dressed.

As he headed down, my dad passed the idea of lunch to him and he loved that idea. Jason grabbed my hand and the four of us headed out. As we all walked, my dad and brother gave us space, which I didn't feel was necessary since I wasn't Jason's girlfriend. Jason held onto my hand so tightly. I couldn't believe that someone as GORGEOUS as him would actually be latching onto me so tightly. I didn't know what to think but I was definitely enjoying the moment.

At Vselka's, my dad and brother sat at a separate table and Jason and I sat at our own. My dad insisted that we have our own table so we could spend as much time with each other as possible. My dad already was fond of Jason, and that took a lot for my dad to think that way about any "boys" interested in me. Jason and I talked and spoke about the hospital and how he kept thinking about me coming to visit.

I couldn't believe that he was feeling this way ever since I was discharged! He wanted to know where we wanted our "relationship" to go from here.

RELATIONSHIP?? WHAT?!! I was still reeling from Matt and that whole fiasco at school and whether or not he would still be trying to contact me (and yes...he was still trying to be with me).

After lunch, we walked around and did a little bit of shopping. He bought me a Siouxsie and the Banshee's cassette and I bought him this shirt from a small shop there in the village. He didn't want me to buy him anything because he felt that I shouldn't and that he wanted to buy me things. Oooh my God I couldn't believe that he had this mindset.

We headed back to the half way house and he told me there that he wanted me to be "his girl". I didn't know what that meant but he felt that calling me "baby doll" was his way of showing that I was with him. At that time, I didn't care what pet name he called me, all I cared about was that I was "his girl".

I was able to see Jason while I attended boarding school. He came to the estate and spent nights at my home in the maid's quarters (which was my sister's room when she would stay over from college). Jason told me that he felt like he could be himself and that back at the half way house, he was the party guy. He was the guy with lot's of girls around him and that he had to live a certain lifestyle while living in the village.

I wasn't the jealous type and I trusted Jason. Plus, my self esteem was so shot that I still couldn't believe that he wanted to be around me so much. I was just grateful that I could make him feel comfortable and that he didn't have to act with me, ever.

We would go for walks at night in my old town. We would go to the beach at night and sit at the edge of the dock and just talk and cuddle. The only thing is that I could not kiss him because I was still traumatized from Matt. Cuddling and holding hands was perfect. In the end, I felt more like his best friend than his girlfriend and that was fine with me. I even told him that being his closest friend was fine and that he didn't owe anything to me.

He told me that was one of the biggest reasons as to why he never wanted to head back to the halfway house. He knew that I had no expectations from him. He just wanted to be around me. He never was pushy with anything. He never asked anything from me, not even a kiss or anything remotely sexual, and I was incredibly happy that way. I told him that I loved him as my closest friend and he told me that that always made him feel safe and secure.

I'll never forget the time he was staying over and I wanted to make sure that he was comfortable and to see if he needed anything. I loved to wear these long elegant night gowns. They were very Victorian looking and all you could see was my feet, hands and some of my neck and face. I was infatuated with Gothic Vampirism (still am) and Badham's 'Dracula'.

This one night I was checking to see if he needed anything before bed. My room was on the second floor and he always stayed in the maid's quarters. As I headed downstairs and past the second kitchen, I crept into the room and he came out of the bathroom in just a towel around his waist.

I stood frozen and stuttered. I asked if he needed anything before bed and that I was going to head to bed. He walked over to me and held me and told me..

"All I needed was you and this moment".

I couldn't speak and all I could say was..

"Thank you".

Such moments were incredibly priceless to me. Even at that moment, he didn't take advantage of me. I knew I had nothing to fear with Jason, ever.

**As I typed that scenario, I had tears well up in my eyes. I could still feel that moment in the back of my mind**

We spent so much time together and we respected each others space and our trauma. We would go to the mall and girls would be staring and he would always play these little games on how many phone numbers he could collect. These girls would look at me with such disdain as he collected numbers. It didn't bother me because he always held my hand as he walked away with phone numbers. He would hug me back and forth as we walked around and shopped. He was the very first male friend that I loved and loved deeply.

In love, I really don't know. I had no idea what being in love mean't since love always came with extreme pain and abuse. Emotions alone were risky. It got in the way of work. Work that not even he knew about, and if he did, he probably would of whisked me away from it all. I bet he would of, but in the end, the mean's to that end would of been catastrophic for him, not me.

**At this time, I had been hospitalized and met Jonas. After graduation, I continued to be a part of Jason's life and he continued to stay overnight at our new home in a few towns over. After graduation, I ended up hospitalized around the same time the actor, River Phoenix died (October 31st 1993). I met a guy, who was gorgeous and wanted to be with me. We would constantly break the rules by making out while creeping into each other's dorm room and leaving our doors open to block the staff from seeing us making out.

John would try to put his hand up my skirt or down my jumper and I asked him to not do that. He would become frustrated but was satisfied with a lot of making out sessions. After I was discharged, I came to the hospital to visit John. We were outside and sitting on the bench we always sat on during our hospitalization together. He tried to put his hand down my jumper and I said no. As I tried to walk away, due to being upset, he grabbed my arm so hard that he dislocated my shoulder. I yelled out loud and ran off onto the grounds. As I waited for my mom to pick me up, I had to figure out how to fix the dislocation. I was able to smash my arm into a tree to knock it back into place. I had no idea how I knew to do that but a flashback sparked the idea. One of those fragmented memories. Neither my mother or father knew of that incident.

Even after John did that, I came to see him at the hospital. He was distant with me and didn't explain why. After he was discharged, he stopped calling me. One night when I was trying to reach him, his father had told me that he was in ICU from a suicide attempt. I had taken my fathers Rosary and brought that Rosary to him when he was taken out of ICU. I gave him my fathers' Rosary, which my mother allowed me to do.

When I found out John was discharged from that hospital and sent back to the one we had met at, his father called me and told me that his son had issues with lying. When John was discharged from that hospital, he headed home and did not call me once. I had called John at home and his father answered and told me that John refused to call me and that he didn't know why.

John called me one night while he was home and told me that he lost my phone number because his house was robbed and they stole the dresser that had my number in it. A friend of mine that I made during my hospitalization and who was still there when John was readmitted, told me on the phone that John was screwing around with one of the female patients when he was readmitted.

My mother was furious that John seemed to be avoiding me and she called his father. The father had told my mother that John was a pathological liar and that I was too good for him.

That night, I overdosed. I don't remember much but I woke up in ICU. Jason had no idea that I was with John and that he had dislocated my arm. I begged my mother and father to not tell Jason that I had overdosed. It would of destroyed him inside**

The saddest part of this story is that I eventually ended up in a very chaotic and rather loveless relationship with someone (not John). I wanted to be with Jason and I had to keep that quiet, even though it was hard to. Eventually the person that I was with found out about our correspondence and that just caused more problems in an already very unhealthy relationship.

A relationship that Jason wanted me out of.

Jason ended up in a situation that caused such harm to him that it landed him in prison. The lifestyle that he led away from me caught up with him and with a vengeance. I pleaded with Jason to stay away from those toxic people but that didn't work. I hadn't heard from him in nearly a month and his father had told me that he ended up in prison.

I was devastated, and so was my mom and my dad. When Jason was able to correspond with me, I cried and told him how unhappy I was in my current relationship and that I felt that he ended up in prison because I couldn't be there for him. Jason would console me over the phone and I would tell him how I missed him. He would send me letters and even those that he befriended would send me letters to say hi and to make sure that I was doing well.

Jason had joined the Latin Kings in order to be safe in prison. They welcomed him due to the fact that Jason was part Puerto Rican. It was really nice how people like 'King Prime' would put a little note in with Jason's to say "Hi" and that Jason was being taken care of and kept safe. Knowing that Jason was being watched over by some of the members made me feel confident that they wouldn't let any harm come to him.

It was in prison when Jason told me he was in love with me. In love with me in a way that he didn't understand. He would send me love letters and poems about love and the love he had for me. He had told me that he felt he was always in love with me and that he had let me down by going to prison. He had never felt these feelings before but the more he spent time with me, the more he couldn't stop thinking about me. It was the first two weeks of being in prison away from me when he realized that he was in love with me.

I was so unhappy in my current relationship and knowing that my closest friend was in love with me, I had wondered if I was in love with him as well. I think I may of been, or at least a part of me was. I was so miserable with my current boyfriend that I just wanted out so badly but I could not run to Jason. I could not be near him and for how long, I never would know.

I would never know because when Jason was out on parole, I got a call one night from his father telling me that Jason never showed up and that he was considered a fugitive of the law. His father was so angry. His father was head of Corrections at a prison somewhere in NY and even he didn't know where his son was. His father was also very angry because Jason was his kidney donor (the father was dealing with kidney failure) and felt that not only would he not be able to see his son again, his son couldn't pull through with the promise of being his donor.

The last I heard from him was in 1999. I've looked for him on Facebook and other search related engines. Nothing. Nothing at all.

I can still see his face in my mind. His smile. His height. His physique. His very blonde short and buzzed hair and those green eyes of his. I don't know if he's alive or dead. I wish he knew how far I have come in life. I wish I could tell him that I am doing well. I wish I could tell him that I never stopped thinking about him.

I don't think about him in a way that he's gone. And gone, as in dead.

There is a part of me that still loves him. Loves him as my long lost friend. A friend that has allowed me to form friendships with other males. Friendships built on trust. Thank you Jason. I will always love you as my very first male friend. A closeness that I believe I have to this day.