#But honestly? I'd probably start typing with my tongue
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sheepkebby · 2 years ago
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Throttling my brain right now because I keep having ideas for things I can write/draw for Keith vs The World and story arcs I want to add and I'm already crafting a timeline for a sequel and I'M GOING INSANE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!
On one hand if I actually wrote everything I want to write for the series it would probably take years, and that's intimidating as hell. But on the other hand...
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*Stares lovingly at Keith*
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appleblueberry-pie · 9 months ago
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Explaining your First Love to the Yandere's
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A/N: "The Yandere's", meaning as many yandere's i think I can characterize as yandere's as perfectly as possible without burning myself out. Also, are the pictures too much?????? Also, I couldn't find a good pic for Sugu without picking the one where he's literally going insane LMAOOO. Love how my semi-debut for my yandere characterization for him is shown w a not so pleasant picture of him(they're all perfect). Anyways, this is probably gonna be my most chaotic, yet organized, post about jjk ever. I have a solid plan and will go through with it. It's friday and this is me "letting loose" before the weekend. Also, the first love story will be pulled from my own experience. With multiple twists to it to make it sound as interesting as possible.
SCENARIO:
"Mmmm. I remember my first love." You hum in a pleasant tone as you start to reminisce events of who you first gave your heart to. "I loved him so much, it was insane. Because....we grew up with each other. We used to be like this." You twist your fingers together, smiling at him as you explain. "He was an embodiment of me, as I was of him. I don't remember a time we weren't friends. I think it helps to mention that our mom's were friends and they were neighbors. So....we've always known each other. He's a year older than me."
You two were out in the park on the grass. He suggested a little picnic together, hoping to bring you two closer so he could possibly make more moves to be more than a friend. But you were so oblivious to it, even going as far as talking of your first love as if you still missed this stupid asshole.
"I still miss him." You go silent for a few seconds and stare down at the checkered blanket, smiling. He gapes a little and resists the urge to scoff. "We both loved playing video games, we watched the same tv shows, went to the same elementary school....a lot of things happened between us. He didn't like me back, though. I confessed to him when I was 9 and he said no." You laugh. "But even then, I still loved him. I still feel it, too. For some reason, my love for others doesn't really go away. Just sits at the bottom of my heart to make more room for others."
You sigh and continue talking about the guy. "He just grew more and more....attractive as I grew up. I am pretty sure he's why I have my type that I have in men currently. He's very tall....a deep voice." You sigh, closing your eyes to remember. "Relaxed, closed off.....I heard him on the phone when our moms were talking a month ago. He sounds....so different. I don't even know what I'd do with myself if I saw him again." In real time, he watched you unravel slowly to show how.....inf*tuated you were with this guy. You were so focused on naming his qualities. As if you could picture him perfectly in your mind.
"I'm so glad we don't talk to each other anymore. I ruined our relationship. Said a few inappropriate things I shouldn't have said at the wrong time. I haven't spoken to him in....6 years. And I'd rather it stay that way, honestly. Because he's a rather boring person outside of his physical attributes. But I have attachment issues." You pick up one of the snacks laid out between the two of you. "Yeah. I'm done talking about him. I would rather not think of him anymore."
YANDERE REACTIONS:
Sukuna:
Sukuna was baffled. Anger, frustration, fear, and even jealousy kept his tongue from moving. He thought this moment wouldn't ever happen in his life. He thought this wasn't a possibility. Your extreme disloyalty to him was what made him clench his hands in anger. But if he rationally thought about this, you don't know. You don't know how much he loves you. How much the Ryomen Sukuna loves you. You were supposed to be his in all lifetimes. He felt like he absolutely knew you were pure. You smelled pure and your energy felt pure when he first met you. So why were you fixing your mouth to say such disgusting and unfaithful words to him as if he wasn't right there?
He wanted to ask you if you've been trying to give yourself to him like a whore, but he knew that was just him overreacting. He wouldn't ever say such things to you, anyways. He wanted to change for you and was trying, starting with these stupid little date settings he knew you loved. A fucking park. And here he was being stabbed in the chest multiple times without your knowledge of it. It was all your doing.
He might be human in this lifetime. He might be nothing but a mere human for you to toy with freely, and he would let you do it to him. But he would never allow a puny roach get in the way of getting what he deserves. He deserves you and he will have you, one way or another. And if that means cutting a small piece of your heart out just to keep the rest, then so be it. He can't have any piece of you in him. Just thinking about him makes another vessel pop in his body somewhere. He will kill this thing.
Kento:
Maybe he was overbearing. He really just couldn't help but feel insecure. There should be no real reason for you to bring up a man from the past. Someone that should clearly be out of your mind. Was he boring? What did that fool have that he didn't? And why did you mention it while you two were on this date??(It wasn't a date, but it felt like it to him) Maybe he was too plain. Men like him were just smokers and loners, of course you'd bring up someone else that can satiate your desire for real love. It's all because he couldn't. Not in the way you want to be loved.
But he knew, he knew that he was enough. He knew he was your type as well, so, what did you mean by he was the type you have in men?? What does that mean for him? Will you use him and throw him away? He doesn't want to be used and tossed out like trash. He wanted to be yours forever. He wanted to be your man. Your man. He wanted to be your lover, your obsesser and the one you obsess over, not that imbecile. He wanted to be skin to skin, he wanted to be under your skin, he wanted to make his mark on you and for you to do the same to him. He deserves your love. But here you are expressing it for another man you haven't even spoken to in over 6 years. He deserves that type of commitment, there's nothing he's done to deserve it this late.
"I love you." The words slip out like oil on water. And it makes his heart oh, so much lighter.
Suguru:
"Heavens. I'm glad you aren't talking with him now." Suguru chuckles and shakes his head, peeling off more strawberry leaves for you. "This is why." He points with the strawberry at the people walking past and then gives you the strawberry. "This is why I don't want you talking with them. They do this to hold you in their clutches, I've seen it." Suguru sighs as he recalls your story in his mind. Jesus, was it trying to hypnotize you? If so, it was working. No worries, it won't be around to mess with your mind much longer.
"They actively lie, they laze around, let their emotions control them, and then try to manipulate you to stay with them to be their stepping stool." He brushes your hair back neatly, and you scrunch your eyebrows at his words. "But I know you're better than him. Better than all of them." He calls out your name and stares into your eyes with a look that makes you flustered. What is his problem?
"You are the light. You are one of the most strongest and intelligent sorcerers I have seen of this time. You hold up your potential and continue to blow my mind with how beautiful your soul is. I am constantly drawn to you and your energy, I never get enough of it. I don't ever want to hinder you and I don't want anyone else to hinder your energy. That's why I will kill that filthy animal that tried to touch you." It's scary, the way he maintains eye contact with you and spits the nastiest insult about the man you once loved with your whole heart.
"I can't wait to get to know you better. You've been teaching me so much. Maybe you can tell me about your favorite nature spots and we can relax there whenever you're free. And sometime later, I could also take you to meet my family. You'll love my two daughters." He laughs lightly, knowing Nanako and Mimiko would adore finally having a real mother worth of raising them. Together, you and him would be unstoppable.
Choso:
Choso was finished with peeling the mandarin for you. You kind of were confused about how he went about doing this, though. Because all over his lap were the smallest bits of mandarin peels you've ever seen. But the mandarin looked perfect. He obviously took his time. He handed it to you softly, smiling. You accept it happily and begin peeling.
He was surprised he didn't rip the thing apart then and there. Maybe be should peel things more often. The way you so freely spoke about your love for another man when your soulmate was sitting right next to you, peeling fruit open for you was preposterous. He needed a hug. A lemonade, had to kill someone, something. But he stopped killing people for you(secretly), so he has to resort to acting like he's peeling off that devil's skin. Starting from where the shiny skin first shows. The first piece is always the hardest to pick off and it's hard to choose where to begin. But soon enough, the color underneath began to show. He slowly picked off every. Little. Piece. He heard a yelp of pain and cries of "sorry's" in his head for every piece.
Every single little piece made the air smell more and more sweet and tangy. The more you spoke, the faster he picked. The stronger the smell was. So citrus-y and delicious. It made him smile. He loved peeling this mandarin. Then picking off white strips connected to the mandarin itself, so that it was smoother and you had no access peel. Like veins, they came off one by one. He simply stared at it when he was done. Smooth, perfect. Scattered remains laying everywhere on his lap.
He's never felt this way before. What were you doing to him? What is this twisting feeling in his gut that makes him want to puke? Why can't he breathe? Why does he want to kill the kids and mothers at the playground not too far away? He needs you to calm him down.
He hates this park.
"Here you go, angel." He hands it to you, smiling. You looked a little confused at first, but then took it from him, opening it to take a slice. "Oh, this looks real nice, Cho. ......Why are you smiling like that?" He shrugs, picking up one of the strawberries you brought from your place. "Like what...?"
Toji:
Toji was silent. The awkward silence he was creating between the two of you made you nervous. He was sitting close to you, leaning over to you, his arm supporting his weight behind your back with your shoulder touching his chest. He was just staring down at the bowl of strawberries. ".....Toji?" Your soft voice made him sigh.
No, he couldn't do it. Killing you won't kill the pain and anger in his chest. This was probably the angriest he's ever been. He wanted to shout at you to apologize for how you were making him feel. But what he really wanted was to feel your lips on his and for you to shut the fuck up. For some reason, every time you open your mouth, it always ends with him degrading further and further off the side of sanity and just going completely ballistic.
You saw his hand on his hip. The hip that wasn't actually his hip, but was his gun he was resting his hand on. He would feel so much better if those shrieking rats would shut up. Fucking rodents running around you two freely like he wasn't about to ruin everyone's day.
He wouldn't say he was often traumatized, but he could've went his whole life without hearing that story. Now he has to find a random man and kill him for stealing your heart. I mean, the least the bastard could've done was reciprocate his feelings and not leave you feeling helpless. "I could treat you better than that dick." You flinch at his words before smiling, averting your gaze as well. "Oh....." He leans in closer to your face. "Where does he live, huh? Is it the prick with the glasses?" "No?" "The one you work with?" "I-I told you I haven't-" "Eh, whatever. I'll find him and kill him." He smiles at your bashfulness and grabs a few strawberries from the patch.
Sometimes he forgets you don't care much for how he says things. If the right message gets across, you usually don't mind how he says it. But he just blatantly threatened to kill him. You grab the leafless strawberries from his hands and begin eating. Nah. You were his, for sure. He sighs and lays down on the blanket, staring up at the blue sky.
Satoru:
Satoru nodded along with your words, his hands trembling. When you smiled, he did. When you sighed, he would, too. And when you finished your story, he had to swallow the thick bile in his throat. You were just....recalling old memories, that's all. Nothing else. He tried to focus on the grass blades he felt through the blanket. He tried to focus on the sounds of the kids running around squealing.
He watched you eat some of the cold grapes he brought you. They were big, and you praised him lightly for finding such a great batch. He nods quietly and stares down at his lap. Everything was fine. You were fine, and so was he. "Satoru...?" Honey dripping naturally in your voice makes his head turn automatically. The worry etched on your face made the strings holding his mind together break one by one. "Are you alright..? You're sweating."
Nothing was fine. He can't believe you just said that to him. Why would you..? Why did...? Why?.....wait, why?? Why??? Why why why why why why WHY would you do that? Why would you say that to him? He sacrificed so much for you. He killed all of the assassins that went after you when the higher ups found out about you and him getting closer. He paid off your parent's debt secretly. He paid your rent. He woke up early in the mornings to talk to you because he knows you like to wake up to see the sunset. He memorized all of your schedules when you have special weeks, special breaks, he memorized all days that you memorized, he knows what mattress you like to sleep on, he knows how you like certain foods to be seasoned, he knows your favorite weather and season, he didn't fucking learn all of this about you for nothing!! WHY don't you ever appreciate everything he's ever done for you? Why don't you notice him? Why don't you love him? He stalks you every day to understand the type of man you would want to live under your roof and be under your covers and that wasn't enough.
He's been so alone all of his fucking life. No one understood him like you do. He couldn't help but open his ribcage, breaking them off of his body to one by one to let you touch his hot beating heart with your cold fingers. He wants you inside of his heart forever and never let you go, can't you understand that? He hasn't slept in three days, predetermining what he was going to say to you during this picnic, and you tell him that?? Just fucking kill him. Kill him, kick his face, spit on him, ruin him like you're doing now. He clearly doesn't matter.
"Satoru??"
He's supposed to be the one you compare playing video games with, he is supposed to be the one you watch the same tv shows with, he was supposed to go to the same school as you!! His skin is on fire, he can't breathe, his mind hurts, the grass blades are irritating his skin and the children are making his migraine worse. Are you saying something? He can't hear you. His ears are ringing.
He wants to be him. He wants to rip open the skin and spine of the man who lived in your soul since the dawn of time and crawl into his body to experience what he experienced. He wants to do all of those things with you as kids and live with you, grow with you, let him be your infatuation. He wants to rewind time. He wants to die. He wants both of you to die and be reborn to be given a second chance he can never ever have.
"Satoru!"
Your face is twisted into heavy concern and slight fear. Satoru sat in front of you, staring at you. He hasn't moved in three entire minutes. His face was covered in bucket loads of sweat, his lips twisted into a tight smile that threatened to break into a million pieces. The corners of his lips wobbled as if he was going to cry, but his eyes were wide open and dry. His legs, arms, and back stiff as he sits in such an uncomfortable position, it had to hurt. You were scared for him.
Can he hear you? You slowly raise on of your hands to touch his cheek and he flinches under your touch, finally blinking. "Yes?" You purse your lips and bring out a cold water bottle from your basket. "Here, maybe you should drink some water." He takes the water bottle you dropped into his hand. "Thank you." He whispers and sighs, twisting open the cap. You watch him guzzle the whole thing in 5 seconds. "......maybe we should go indoors." He nods, closing the now empty water bottle. "Yeah. The sun is hurting my eyes."
No part 2's. Because I don't like continuing old plot and I love seeing people go crazy for me not continuing good content.
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vodika-vibes · 4 months ago
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i was rereading some of your tup works and figured i'd drop in another request for your follower event!! i’ve been reading some horror stuff lately so what about something where reader (gender neutral) is like a type of eldritch horror monster please?
the reader would be something tall and shadowy-like with super long fingers/claws and sharp teeth with a long tongue. and tup is just himself, a normal guy?
like the reader and tup fall in love, so tup wants to introduce his partner to his brothers. the rest of the 501st are shocked, but also not really surprised lol
just something cute and romantic and funny please!! absolutely no rush at all for this btw
Monsterous Love
Summary:  Tup loves you and while you’re not sure why, you don’t doubt his affection for you. So when he says that he wants to introduce you to his brothers, you agree.
Pairing: Clone Trooper Tup x GN!Reader
Prompt: The reader in an interdimensional eldritch being
Word Count: 1628
Warnings: None, really
Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni @imabeautifulbutterfly @kimiheartblade @mire-draws-things
@bad4amficideas @justiceandwar98
A/N: So I'm not sure if I hit what you wanted, but I hope you like it anyway!
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Tup is staring at you.
He almost always stares at you; if you were anyone else, you’d probably be self-conscious about how much he stares at you. 
You tilt your head and regard him curiously, “You are staring.” You note absently.
“I can’t help it,” Tup replies immediately, “You’re perfect.”
You tilt your head in the other direction, “I exist simultaneously on every plane of existence, including the past and the future. And I have an incredibly difficult time staying in a humanoid form.”
Tup’s smile is love-struck, “Like I said, perfect.”
“You are a singularly strange human man.”
He laughs and you can feel your human-ish facade ripple before it settles again, though you’re fairly certain that pastel blue isn’t a normal human shade…well, not in this reality at least.
You squint at your hand and the color turns to a pale purple. The color makes you happy, so you leave it there for the time being.
“Strange in a good way, right?” Tup asks, his grin broad.
“If I thought you strange in a bad way I would not have saved you from the…things.”
“The Kaminoans?” Tup asks, laughter in his voice.
“Is that what they are called? I forgot.”
Tup stands and walks over to you, and you release a surprised noise when he allows himself to fall on you.
Your human form pops, like a soap bubble, and you revert to your true form. It’s hard to describe, as your form changes based on your needs, but your truest form is shadowy. With sharp teeth and long claws.
Also, according to Tup, you’re very soft and comfortable to lay on.
You wrap your arms around him, careful to keep your claws away from his delicate skin, and you release an embarrassing purr as he buries his face in your neck.
“I have an idea,” Tup says cheerfully.
It is difficult to speak in this form, long teeth are not designed for human speech, but you have more than one way to communicate. Is it a good idea? Or is this like the idea you had where you wanted me to raze Kamino to the ground? You ask.
“That was a good idea.” Tup defends as he trails his hands over your shoulders. “Which is why you did it.”
You narrow your eyes at him, You are a horrible influence.
He probably shouldn’t look so smug about that, right? Is it not right that a human should be able to influence an ancient, eternal being? Right? Ah, whatever.
“I want to introduce you to my brothers. And the General.”
You slowly blink at him as you adjust your claws so that you’re less likely to hurt him, and you start playing with his curls, Do your brothers not think that you are dead, Tup?
He shrugs, “I miss them. Besides, Dogma already knows about you.”
That is because I intervened to save his life.
“And I love you for that. Just like I love you for intervening to save Fives and Hardcase.”
You’re still not sure why you did that, honestly. Other than you don’t like the look that Tup gets when he hears about his many brothers dying.
If that is what you want, then we can make it happen. You finally say, not wanting to think too hard about the influence he has on you. Your form shifts back into a more human form, though you’re still a bit taller than Tup, “However, I am going in a human form.”
He huffs and reaches up to press his hands against your cheeks, “I want them to know the real you.”
“This form of me is as real as all of the other ones.” You point out, “I…do not want to cause them any distress.”
His gaze softens, and you can feel adoration radiating from him before he leans in and kisses you. Tup pulls back after a few moments, his hands still pressed against your cheeks, “I love you and I love that you want to make sure that they’re comfortable. But they love me and will accept you no matter what.”
“I am not so sure.”
“Trust me.”
You blow out a heavy breath and allow your form to shift back into your normal form, They might assume that I will hurt you.
“You never have.” He presses his forehead against yours, “And it would be so easy for you to do so. So, will you do it?”
I suppose I will.
“Yes!” He kisses you again and again, and you marvel, once again, that he seems unbothered by your monstrous form. He really is so strange. “Are you ready to go?”
Wait? Now?
“Yes. Now. Before you change your mind.”
Stubborn mortal— Still you shift to a more human form, standing a little taller than Tup, and you lightly push him to his feet, “As you like, Tup.”
He beams at you and takes your hand. “Great! Now, how do I get to Coruscant from here?”
You shake your head. Here, of course, is the house of mystery. The plane of existence that you call home, and also where Tup calls home now. “You still haven’t learned?”
“This House exists in every reality all at the same time, how am I supposed to learn it?” Tup asks cheerfully.
You shake your head and tug him down a hallway. You take three lefts, a right, and then two more lefts, before you open a door that leads to the Coruscant of his reality. “See. Easy.”
“I’m fairly certain that you’re the only person who thinks that.”
You tilt your head, “Oh?”
“Not everyone exists everywhere all of the time.” Tup teases as he cups your face and pulls you down into a kiss. It’s not a long kiss as neither of you are overly fond of PDA, and Tup is eager to introduce you to his brothers.
For all that you’re an interdimensional being, you don’t actually know Coruscant, so Tup is more than happy to guide you to the lift that will bring you up a couple of levels.
You’re surprised when Tup brings you to the 501st barracks. Surprised because it’s a lot more rundown than you expected based on some of the stories he’s told you.
“...I believe that mold has gained sentience,” you note as he leads you inside and through a hallway lined with black mold.
“Eh, it’s fine. Probably.”
“I also believe that is it toxic.”
Tup shrugs, “Probably. We’re just clones, babe. It’s not that big a deal.”
You blink at the back of his head, “Tup. If you want me to raze Coruscant to ashes, this is the way to go about it.”
He stops suddenly and bursts into laughter.
“I am not so sure why you find this funny.”
Tup turns and pulls you into a quick kiss, “I love you, that’s all.”
“I am fond of you as well. But I am also unsure how my comment caused this.”
“Don’t worry about it. It’s a human thing.” He kisses your hands, and then tugs you into a large room, “Hey Cap!”
The room, which had been filled with lots of noise, falls silent at Tup’s voice.
“Tup?” A blonde man that you vaguely recognize as Rex says in disbelief, “You’re alive? And here?”
“Yup.”
“How?” Fives demands, “You killed a Jedi. I definitely remember that happening.”
“The situation is complicated and also not my fault.” Tup motions to you, “Everyone, meet my cyare. You can just call them cyare.”
“I do not think that that is an appropriate nickname—”
“They won’t be able to say your actual name, babe. Human tongues aren’t designed to make those sounds. Cyare is perfect for you.”
“If you insist.”
“I do!” Tup beams at you and then turns back to his brothers, “Cyare saved me. They’re amazing.” He pauses, “They’ve also saved all of you on more the one occasion.”
The room falls silent and all eyes turn to you. “You are overstating, Tup.”
“I’m not.” He squeezes your hand, “Go on babe, show them.”
“I still do not think that this is a good idea.” You want, though you release his hand and allow your human form to fade away into your true form, You are lucky that I am so fond of you.
“I am lucky you’re so fond of me,” Tup agrees with an adoring smile, “This is cyare’s true form.” He says to his brothers, “They’re an interdimensional eldritch being.”
The room is quiet for a moment, and then Dogma, at the back of the room, releases a laugh, “Yeah, this doesn’t surprise me.”
“Somehow,” Rex agrees, “This makes total sense.”
“I told you they’d be fine with you,” Tup says with a grin.
There must be something wrong with your DNA. You are all very, very strange men. You counter as you settle on the floor, But, I suppose this does make me claiming you all as my mortals a little easier.
“But I’m your favorite mortal, right?” Tup asks.
You sigh heavily, Yes, Tup. You’re my favorite mortal. You release a disgruntled noise as he leans heavily against you. Not that you can’t support him, but you’re not an armrest.
Still, as Tup leans fully against you, his arms tight around you, while he answers questions about you and him and the life you share, a sense of peace settles over you.
This is okay. More than okay. 
Tup might think that you’re perfect, but he’s the one who took one look at an eldritch monster and decided, “Yes, that’s the one I want.” so in your book, he’s the perfect one.
Now you just have to make sure that no one will every hurt your mortals ever again.
Easy.
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sincerelykarai · 9 months ago
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☆General Call of Duty headcanons!☆
Price:
• Personally I think he has some sort of underlying anxiety disorder. I mean; the dude is a captain of a team of people he would call his friends, so I wouldn't be surprised if he was constantly stressed out about them.
• Him and Laswell are platonically married. Change my mind.
• Can honestly see him being a neat freak? He hates it when people come into his office and start fidgeting with his stuff (Soap does this alot) and it annoys the living hell out of him.
• Sexuality wise? I'd say he's heterosexual, may or may not stare at Nik's muscles for too long but who am I to judge. He's a bisexual in denial.
• Used to do fishing for a hobby, has a ton of different types of equipment but he doesn't do it as much since he's apart of the army.
• When he was younger and first being promoted as a Captain? He didn't want it. He was terrified of the responsibility and the stress was just overwhelming. If it weren't for Laswell he probably would of quit.
Gaz
• I think he has OCD, Can't remember which post it was that talked about this headcanon but I fully support it lol.
• He sees Soap as a little brother, maybe because he misses his family back at home? But he's still happy with his new one
• Definitely a middle child, he's used to not being remembered as much and being replaced a lot so it surprised him a little when everyone in the Task Force actually invited him places.
• Sexuality wise? Personally I think he's gay. Definitely a girl's girl and a feminist. He would probably fight any perv who was harassing any female soldiers.
• Gaz definitely uses the fact that he's a charmer to get his ways. Turned in a report late? Puppy eyes along with the sweetest apology known to man kind. Wants something from price? Nothing his dazzling smile can't handle!
• Has a sharp tongue. Definitely knows how how throw hurtful insults to soldiers and it leaves them feeling pissed off and upset. He's lost a few fights but won a few as well.
Sorry this is short I'll come out with a part 2 soon I swear 😭
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all-things-normaler · 1 year ago
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i wanna write fanfics but i'm not sure how to keep everyone in character and to write normal dialogue. do you have any advice? thank you!
Okay so, I've written fanfiction and roleplayed for nine years, and I know it's scary and hard at first, but eventually with enough practice, writing will become as easy as breathing air.
First thing I do is envision the scene in my mind, like a movie! What's the setting? The mood? What kind of characters are here? What's the plot? Materialize all of this in your brain and do not force yourself to make dialogue, it'll come up to you naturally. Think of yourself as the actor for all these characters, feel their emotions, study their motives, backgrounds, passions and even body mannerisms.
If you're dealing with a pairing or characters that correlate with each other, try to think. What are their similarities and opposites? Are they really all that similar or is it one or two few traits? This is where the Venn Diagram comes in! That's the method I've been taught at school, and honestly, I could make a list but the Venn Diagram helps me visualize things better. To be honest I have sharp memory to things I'm fixated in, so I don't do it physically, but it's very useful! And YES, while studying these characters annotate everything that could be useful in writing dialogue.
Do they have an accent? A lisp? Is there any vocabulary depending of where they were raised?
I have things to say about these things in dialogue and the first two are more personal and up to my taste.
Personally when people write "accents" that aren't like Country or Irish accents that actually have different words in the vocabulary, when you replace the letters to make the "sound" and in a way create new words, not only does it look messy, it IS messy to read! It's an unfortunate phenomenon in the Team Fortress 2 Fandom lol.
EXAMPLE: "Viz is not good. Vhat was a vad decision."
For these instances, use regional words and spellings for the dialogue, it says much more than what I've told you. Are they british? Use words like "favourite" instead of "favorite" etc. Trust me, the readers aren't dumb people, you can do ONE paragraph describing that your character has an accent and they would understand.
I think my gripe against that style of writing isn't only aesthetically but also because I'm bilingual (my native tongue being Spanish) so honestly, it would look a little offensive reading a fanfiction where my type of accent is typed like that.
When writing bilingual people ALSO avoid this:
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Like prideling said, that one's a big example of what bilingual people do. Even in their own native language! I constantly forget to say "accurate" in Spanish lmao.
And we do not "switch" languages, we aren't Dora The Explorer. We can greet and talk normally to people. Only times I'd say bilinguals happen to jump back at their native tongue accidentally it's when they're surprised? It's happened to me, but for a very short time. Bilingual readers prefer to be represented with the struggles of knowing two languages and showcasing their culture throughout descriptive paragraphs over anything.
Anyway, moving on... DIALOGUE!
This is a classic. Do NOT get comfortable with the verb said. Try using other words like: exclaimed, announced, warned, shouted, whispered, etc!
The more you write, the more you'll learn about these verbs, adverbs and adjectives and it'll come handy tremendously. We don't want to have too much repetition do we?
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I am also handing you this emotion wheel that will be incredibly useful if you're starting writing:
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Speaking of repetition... Remember that thing I said about studying your characters? Try to avoid too much repetition of one word between the two characters. As you may have noticed people have a cadence and ways of speaking. If you do that a lot, people will break from the immersion and think it's you who's talking, not the character.
Another classic! SHOW, DON'T TELL.
If you're into writing, you'll probably have heard this saying before. All writers have committed this sin when they started writing, using adverbs and adjectives too obsessively instead of narrating how the character feels.
Is your character anxious? How about instead of doing:
“Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck! What am I supposed to do now!?” He anxiously exclaimed.
We do...
“Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck!” He tightly gripped onto his jet black hair and ripped it from his scalp into shreds. Pain was the last thing he cared about when a bigger torture was on his mind. His chest constricted, his lungs having less oxygen filled with hot air. The corners of his eyes burned, and his brain constantly banged to the corners of his skull begging to free it from this horrible outcome. The man started to lose his senses, he couldn't smell the horrible stench from his machines, or feel the bottom of his feet anxiously walking in circles, his fingers were getting tingly and numb. Onceler couldn't even see the insides of his destroyed mansion and the deforestation he caused from his window. All of it was a blur and too much too handle, the weight of his actions fell into his mind and stomach, forever scarred and stuck like that last stump in the middle of what used to be a vibrant Truffula Tree forest.
“What am I supposed to do now!?” He scratched his knotted throat as loud as he could, ripping his vocal chords. It didn't matter if he could hear himself now, he didn't listen to his real soul in the past, and now, no one will listen to him now. No matter how much he begged for help.
Alright, that was a little big example there haha! But you get it right? Here's a picture to help you visualize better.
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Mind you, the first example isn't bad to use! Just don't constantly use it. It's good to show a story throughout the actions of your character!
Alright, what else... what else... oh yes!
Be mindful of spellchecking bots!
I'll be honest to you, I do use them! They come incredibly handy because sometimes I mess up verbs or I just simply add too many spaces or create typos without meaning to! But remember that bots are bots, and at the end of the day they don't have humanity. They're AI. Therefore, these bots might make suggestions to change certain words because they don't recognize it as part of the vocabulary, but if you do click on everything they suggest, your dialogue will become very robotic and lacking of stylization. Keep those peepers open!
Use a beta reader?
I never had one. To me, writing is a very personal thing and for me to have one, they would have to share the same fandom that I'm writing of to be trustworthy. Beta Readers can be useful because they can point out mistakes other than spelling ones. Something the bots CANNOT do. They can point out weird things in dialogue, plot holes, etc.
Learn of your narration voice.
The way you narrate is your brush strokes of art but in writing! What type of a narrator are you? The unreliable type? The classic? Or just a narrator with a god complex? Have fun with that! And remember, if you want to narrate not as a narrator or yourself but as one of the characters, REMEMBER to study the character. Basically, the first tip I gave you.
Stuttering.
Don't overuse it. And we don't always stutter like: "b-b-but!" NO! Instead, try slurring the words, and adding ellipsis (the three dots ...)
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Not only is it more realistic, but it looks better on writing.
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This image is something I struggle with too, but it'll be useful to see it now!
Honestly, my path for writing has been rocky and I raw-dogged this shit, so it's an honor being able to help you! If you ever have any doubts keep coming here! I love to get in more depth, but I've been making this post for like an hour already!
I think that's all I can give you for now! Lots of people that have read my fanfics and roleplays have pointed out that dialogue is my forte! It's rather flattering. As always, I don't give tips or boast about my writing without evidence, so here's a snippet of a Normaler fanfic I'm writing:
“I brought you some things. Water and a towel. Hopefully that's enough.” She handed him the materials and he gladly took them, opening the water bottles and damping the towels.
“Thanks. It's tomatoes. I doubt there's a lot to get me dirty with those.” He chuckled awkwardly, before rushing to rub the towel against his cheek.
Norma smiled, raising her eyebrows.
“I take it that you're a foreigner?”
“You can tell?”
“Your accent. Yeah.” Norma stretched her legs as she sat next to him. “You're one of those cowboys?” She grinned back at the man.
The Once-ler laughed, and my... did he have a goofy laugh. Not what she expected.
“I wish. It sounds like fun, but where I come from, rural life is pretty boring.” He continued to rub the towel against his clothes.
“Greenville doesn't like foreigners.” She explained bluntly. “They always come here with bad intentions.” She furrowed her eyebrows with a teasing smirk, causing the Once-ler to dramatically gasp, a hand on his chest.
“B-But I ain't coming here with bad intentions!”
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e-m-p-error · 1 year ago
Text
Shipping Tags (Specific)
Ship Tags With @strangeandun-muse-ual -
My Body Is Shaking My Soul's For The Taking And You Can Have It All (Adam ♡ Lucifer)
I Need A Ride Or Die Type Of Guy Who Likes To Come In Hot (Chazz ♡ Azzy)
He Tells Me What He Wants I Give Him All I Got (Chazz ♡ Izzy)
But I'll Walk With You My Love Any Way The Wind Blows (Darío ♡ Missy)
Sheep Go To Heaven Goats Go To Hell (Erasmo ♡ Missy)
Don't Wanna Take It Slow I Wanna Take You Home (Erasmo ♡ Trenton)
If It’s Stubborn As Can Be Mean And Ornery It’s A Man (Nifty ♡ Husker)
You're Getting To Be A Habit With Me (Ostello ♡ Vox)
And When His Edges Soften His Body Is My Coffin (Valentino ♡ Vox)
Let Me Stay In Your Arms I'm Addicted To Your Charms (Valentino ♡ Ostello ♡ Vox)
Come Home With Me You're My Temporary Plan B (Velvette ♡ Chaz)
Lay Your Heart Into My Perfect Machine (Velvette ♡ Vox)
Baby Why Should I Resist When I Already Know I've Got You Under My Skin? (Vick ♡ Azzy)
We'll Never Stop 'Cause We're Only Getting Better (Vick ♡ Magpie ♡ Azzy)
Jeez Louise I'm Weak In The Knees (Vick ♡ Barbie ♡ Chazz ♡ Izzy ♡ Azzy)
All We Are Waiting For Is Something Worth Waiting For (Vick ♡ Vox)
My Daddy Will Fuck Your Daddy Up (Valentino ♡ Velvette ♡ Vox)
Ship Tags With @dont-take-shxt-from-other-demons
I Rule With The Velvet Tongue And My Dress Undone (Lilith ♡ Lucifer)
This Is A Force That Not Even God Can Stop (Valentino ♡ Lucifer)
Ship Tags With @a-hazbin-spider
Sometimes I Wonder Why I Need You At All (Valentino ♡ Angel Dust)
I Absolutely Knew That I was Six Steps In When I Fell Into You (Vick ♡ Dove)
Ship Tags With @voxiiferous -
I've Got You Under My Skin I've Got You Deep In The Heart Of Me (Ostello ♡ Vox)
I Said To Myself This Affair Never Will Go So Well But Why Should I Try To Resist? (Ostello ♡ Valentino ♡ Vox)
Catch Me If You Can With A Cigarette In Hand And It's Love It's Heavy And It Hurts And It's Love (Valentino ♡ Vox)
It's Killing Me I Just Want You To Be My Next Mistake That I'm Gonna Make (Velvette ♡ Jayden)
Ship Tags With @infernal-feminae
This Lady Of The Flowers And Her Chaotic Haze (Crimson ♡ Scarlet)
She's Precocious And She Knows Just What It Takes To Make A Pro Blush (Ozzie ♡ Beelzebub)
Hasta La Vida Loca Loca Loca Loca Te Encanta La Música Te Toca Toca Toca (Valentino ♡ Beelza)
So Rough And Tough Don't Care 'Bout Anything But Me Yes I Love Her 'Cause She's So Crazy Just Crazy About Me (Valentino ♡ Nifty)
Can't Get The Paw Prints Out Of The Hen House Now (Valentino ♡ Summer)
Ship Tag With @nebula-gaster - She Comes On Like A Saint But That's Exactly What She Ain't (Velvette ♡ Flora)
Ship Tags With @hannah-the-small
You Look So Cute Flashing Lights Red And Blue (Valentino ♡ Gritt)
I Don't Care If I'm A Guilty Pleasure For You (Valentino ♡ Vox)
Ship Tags With @hellsmayflower
And If You Try To Talk To Someone Well Then Someone Has To Die (Crimson ♡ Mayleene)
I'm Just A Holy Fool And Baby He's So Cruel (Valentino ♡ Mayleene)
Ship Tags With @deepspacevivarium
All My Dirty Thoughts Lead Me To You (Valentino ♡ Angel Dust)
Ship Tags With @big-daddy-moth
I Can Buy Myself Flowers I Can Love Me Better Than You Can (Asmo ♡ Phillipe)
The Successful Removal Of You Would Probably Kill Me Too (Vick ♡ Valentino)
Ship Tags With @the-one-who-killed-the-radio
What Was It That We Believe To Be Love As I Clung To You With Fierce Desperation (Alastor ♡ Vox)
We Drive Each Other Mad It Might Be Kinda Sad But I Think That's What Makes Us Good In Bed (Valentino ♡ Vox)
Ship Tags With @angel-dust-bitch
Your Mouth So Hot Your Web I'm Caught (Valentino ♡ Angel Dust)
Never Thought I'd Make You Perspire Never Thought You'd Do Me The Same (Vick ♡ Angel Dust)
Ship Tags With @moxxie-roxx-it
You've Got A Piece Of Me And Honestly My Life Would Suck Without You (Chazz ♡ Moxxie)
Ship Tags With @strikers-saloon
I Don't Want What I Can Get I Want A Man With Secrets (Andrealphus ♡ Striker)
Do You Have Any Love Left For Me? I'm Small That's A Start (Nifty ♡ Striker)
Ship Tags With @theoriginalfizzarolli
A Lifetime Of Laughter At The Expense Of The Death Of A Bachelor (Ozzie ♡ Fizzarolli)
Ship Tags With @onehelluvacircus
I Don't Do The Walk Of Shame I Strut (Andrealphus ♡ Robo Fizz)
Ship Tags With @ghostlyhosty
I'm So Full Of Love I Could Barely Eat (Ostello ♡ Barnaby)
They Cannot Steal The Light That Shines From Who You Once Were (Paimon ♡ Barnaby)
What's Left Of My Heart's Still Made Of Gold (Vick ♡ Barnaby)
Ship Tags With @sinnerxroulette
And He Knows He Knows He Knows He Knows That I Can't Resist His Ways (Valentino ♡ Vox)
Ship Tags With @remnantsouls
As Long As It's Okay With You I Think I'll Stay Right Here (Chazz ♡ Cinnibar)
Ship Tags With @helluvaxhazbin
Sparks Are Flying On The Kitchen Floor In My Mind I'm Already Inside You (Chazz ♡ Moxxie)
You're Such A Gorgeous Nightmare Old Habits Never Seem To Go Away (Valentino ♡ Velvette)
Ship Tags With @radicheart
I Have Your Face So Love Me (Aldric ♡ Cal)
Video Charmed The Radio Star (Vick ♡ Alastor)
Don't Wanna Leave This Play Date With You (Velvette ♡ Alastor)
I Feel Like I'm Glued On Tight To This Carousel (Valentino ♡ Alastor)
Ship Tags With @seven-circlllxs
I Can't Even Call You Let Alone Call You Mine (Adam ♡ Lucifer)
(Angel Dust ♡ Fizzarolli ♡ Ozzie)
You Remain My Power My Pleasure My Pain Baby (Fizzarolli ♡ Ozzie)
If You Feel It Then I Feel It Too If You Need Me All I Need Is You (Lilith ♡ Lucifer)
Drink My Tears I'm At Your Mercy I Love You Most But I'm Not Worthy (Paimon ♡ Lucifer)
You Say The Sweetest Things Like Material Stuff Don't Mean A Thing But You Take Care Of Me (Angel Dust ♡ Travis)
Baby You're The Highlight Of My Lowlife (Valentino ♡ Vox)
Ship Tags With @hclluvahctel
Even When I'm Crazy I'm Still Your Baby And You're The King Of Loving Me And I'm Your Drama Queen (Valentino ♡ Vox)
Ship Tags With @shadowofthehost
You Can Bathe In The Pixels You Crave (Vick ♡ Astor)
Ship Tags With @ladiesofhell
I'm A Lady Killer And You're A Pretty Lady And That Means I'm Gonna Kill You (Crimson ♡ Daisy)
Ship Tags With @hisslord
Bite Me Baby I Wanna Be Yours Forever (Alastor ♡ Angel Dust)
Ship Tags With @overangeled
Cover Me In Your Sin Take Me In The Night Kissing My Sweetest Prince (Valentino ♡ Angel Dust)
Ship Tags With @depressedxboyfriendxbyron
It's My Heart That You Are Stealing (Chazz ♡ Byron)
Ship Tags With @arachn0philia
I Can Get You Dressed Wrap Your Body In Excess (Valentino ♡ Angel Dust)
Ship Tags With @helluvahell
You Are The One I Choose Folks Would Kill To Fill Your Shoes (Valentino ♡ Vox)
Ship Tags With @hotelbitches
They Know You Walk Like You're A God They Can't Believe I Made You Weak (Valentino ♡ Velvette)
Ship Tags With @hellfrczencver
I Spread My Legs And Dumped The Lord And Now I Know For Sure (Valentino ♡ Frosty)
Ship Tags With @voxtekoverlord
So Go And Pitch Your Fit No One Gives A Shit! Better Off If You Just Get Over It (Valentino ♡ Vox)
Ship Tags With @xxx-chazwickthurman-xxx
Bite Into Me Harder Sink Your Teeth Into My Flesh (Valentino ♡ Chaz)
Ship Tags With @defiedfate
Save Me Even As You Break Me (Valentino ♡ Angel Dust)
Ship Tags With @addicted-to-poison
I Really Want Your Poison Love (Valentino ♡ Angel Dust)
Ship Tags With @dangert1ts
Your Lipstick Tastes Like Murder Our Hands Are Sewn Together We'll Come To One Another (Adam ♡ Lute)
Ship Tags With @arachniangel
I Need Your Poison Got My Fix 'Til Morning Comes (Valentino ♡ Vox)
Ship Tags With @tangledfate
It Was Love That Caught Me Now It's Fear That Keeps Me With You (Valentino ♡ Angel Dust)
Ship Tags With @questionablemuses
I've Got Your Picture On My Wall I Dream About You When I Sleep (Travis ♡ Angel Dust)
Ship Tags With @voxtech-industries
You Should Be Kinder And I Could Be Tender (Valentino ♡ Vox)
Ship Tags With @infernalight
You're Poison Running Through My Veins You're Poison I Don't Want To Break These Chains (Valentino ♡ Angel Dust)
Ship Tags With @rocxyoulikeahurricane
You Must Like Being The Victim You've Done Nothing To Get Out (Valentino ♡ Adam)
Ship Tags With @manubia-summanus
This Kind Of Love Will Only Make You Mad Honey (Valentino ♡ Vox)
Ship Tags With @videokilled
At Least Your Napalm Will Keep Me Warm (Valentino ♡ Vox)
Ship Tags With @poisonedspider
We Don't Know How To Talk But Boy Do We Know How To Fuck (Valentino ♡ Angel Dust)
Ship Tags With @voxxcd
You'll Forgive Me If I Promise And Do Nothing But The Same (Valentino ♡ Vox)
21 notes · View notes
readingadream · 9 months ago
Text
Be The Light
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Chapter 3
Word count 1,282
2 | 3 | 4
Master
 POV Wooyoung
A week had now passed by since I’d agreed to join a group of strangers life style of fighting for a ‘New World’ and in a week I’ve grabbed most of my items from my apartment, I’d quit my job, and lastly I told Changbin about everything but at the same time I lied because he wasn’t technically allowed to know the truth. Though what I didn’t expect was that he’d be upset about it, calling me foolish and that I was so irresponsible. 
I was hurt, I’d felt this tightness in my chest when my best friend raised his voice at me.
“Are you serious, Woo?! What the fuck is wrong with you? How could you just drop everything like that when you have just started to really become successful? especially with 7 others who clearly just have no life and probably have a shitty past” Changbin’s hands were in fist, he looked more hurt then angry though but I didn’t understand why. Why was he so upset? Why was he so pressed on the fact I’d moved in with others that wasn’t him and his friends. “You are so stupid. Honestly Woo, I never thought I'd be this disappointed in you. Just remember who your true friend is okay? If they hurt you in any way… I swear to god I'll hurt them.”
Thinking of the fact Changbin had even threatened to hurt the others was surprising because he'd never been one that was violent towards others. At least that's what he'd always thought. Changbin was a gym rat, he was definitely fit and had learned how to fight, learned boxing and even once did a competition. 
Sitting down at the table I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. Hongjoong and Mingi had been making a schedule for us all so we'd have time to train and so that they could teach me more about what they do. There were times where it was just Seonghwa and I who'd be going over paperwork of government officials or even just wealthy families in Korea. 
Honestly I was thankful they weren't too much in a rush to get me to learn everything, at times San, or Jongho would also join my lessons. They would explain things in different ways so that I could understand some of this information better. Since my role was to get the information for them I needed to not be seen much with the others out in public, Seonghwa and Yeosang had been trying to help me get into modeling since that was an easy way to hear all the gossip. Though I much rather just be a server or something for the parties. I wasn't that confident in my own body but the others would praise me telling me that I did look great. 
“I will send out some of your portfolios to the company’s I used to work with, Woo, you are definitely what they search for.” Yeosang said as he typed away on his laptop. I noticed that he usually would stick out the tip of his tongue when he was focused on something. I found his habit cute actually.
Nodding I leaned over to look at the photos we'd taken the day before, simple head shot photos, and some full body pictures that showed my body off a little better. I'd been wearing a tight white sweater and simple blue jeans, with very light makeup mostly just gloss on my lips to make them look a little more of a darker shade of red. I must admit the photos turned out well. “Man, who knew Jongho could take such good photos.” I praised the younger one as he just so happened to walk past us, going to the fridge he pulled out a banana milk.
Jongho smirks as he walks back, leaning down between us as he looks at Yeosang's laptop. “You are just good looking hyung, but for the record i enjoy photography but never really majored in it. I was almost a professional baseball player before meeting Hongjoong hyung and Mingi hyung.”
When Jongho left to go back to lounging on the couch I looked back at the screen, so much anxiety ran through me as I thought about the fact people would know who I was if I'd become a model and it was such an odd thing to think about as well. Knowing the boys meant good though I didn't voice my disagreement to their plan, though I swore that San knew by just looking at me. San had tried to convince them to let me work as something else like a chef since I'd done it before, or even as a private driver but sadly Joong didn't seem impressed. Hongjoong told me that being popular and well known will help their plans later on. Though I don't think he realizes the stress that I'd have due to it. For now though I just let it slide, I'll give it my best and work hard.
“Have you even eaten today Woo? You've been looking at the photos all day. Not to mention I can basically feel your anxiety from outside.” San was now pulling out the chair and sitting next to me. Out of everyone he and I actually are closest even though our first meeting he was a dick. 
Looking at my watch I noticed it was past 3pm, I'd been awake since about 6am and of course I've yet to take care of myself such as food and my usual morning shower. Honestly I was just nervous, I felt like I needed to diet or work out more now that I was being forced to be a model. “I haven't… I think I'm just too scared and nervous right now San… I didn't plan on putting myself out there to the world.”
“He tried to have Jongho do the same thing when he joined, but Hwa fought against it due to the fact he was only 19. Seonghwa was and still is very protective over the younger ones in the group.” The look San gave me made me realize he understood, patting my shoulder as he looked over to look at the youngest in our group. 
“I understand why Hongjoong thinks you are best for it out of us all. Wooyoung, no offense but you give off that type of vibe that you belong in an area that is very high maintenance. Out of everyone I think you, Seonghwa and Yeosang all fit that type of life. You are handsome and very easy to approach as well, so of course that just makes you the best to get information.” 
“If you don’t want to do it alone though, I’ll work with you. We could go to the events together. Make it where you and I could always be working together. Besides if we play our cards right most might think we are together. Trust me when I say this Woo, rich people love what they can’t have. Will do anything they can to get you.” Leaning back into his seat I watched as he fiddled with the silver ring on his middle finger as he sat there in thought. 
I liked the thought of San joining me, I didn’t like the idea of being alone without the others in the first place, I’d tried to explain that to Hongjoong but fuck was he so damn stubborn. So I nodded in agreement at his offer. 
“I’d feel safe if you were with me San” I admitted as I carefully leaned my head against the other shoulder, both of us just enjoying the quiet moment together.
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fandomworldofdreams · 22 days ago
Text
Hospital For Souls
"You must've made some kind of mistake, I asked for death, but instead I'm awake. The Devil told me, "no room for cheats" I thought I'd sold my soul, but he kept the receipt"
-Bring Me The Horizon
Previous: Prologue, CHP1, CHP2, CHP3, CHP4, CHP5, CHP6, CHP7
Warnings: Drugging, choking
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Chapter VIII: Doomed
The infirmary had four beds, two on each side.
The room itself was cold and lifeless, lacking of any color or feeling of hope. It vibrated in pain making Valeria's teeth clench. The stench of death was not unfamiliar, but in no way comforting.
Valeria sat with a ice pack gently pressed to her eye. One wrist was cuffed to the bed rail much to her discomfort.
Jane laid across from her asleep, body turned to the side which meant Valeria couldn't see any wounds. Hell, she couldn't even tell if she was breathing.
The nurse walked in front of Valeria, pulling the ice pack away. She studied the spot, shining a light in her eye. Valeria's eye flicked sending pain throughout the socket.
"It's gonna leave a nasty bruise. Doesn't look like any ocular damage. I'm gonna keep you overnight to be sure and keep it iced. Should probably do the same for your lip." Valeria ran her tongue over the busted skin, tasting dried blood.
She gave Valeria back the ice pack. Valeria immediately returned it to her eye. She leaned back in the bed, wincing at the pain in her stomach. The kick would no doubt also leave a bruise.
A few hours passed, the constant rhythmic typing of the nurses fingers on the keyboards threatened to drive Valeria insane. It wasn't until the nurse left that Valeria finally sat up.
"Jane," she whispered, afraid of someone hearing. Jane did not move. Valeria groaned, rattling her handcuff, hearing be damned. "Jane!"
Her friend stirred, slowly rolling onto her back. When Jane finally met her gaze Valeria couldn't help the gasp that escaped her mouth.
Scratches covered her whole face down to her collar bone, deep enough that she was worried it would leave permanent scarring. Jane was pale, dark half circles under her eyes and brusing on her jaw.
"Valeria? The hell are you doing here? You look like shit," Jane's voice was a whisper.
"I could say the same for you. What happened?"
Jane shifted up to a sitting position, her face scrunched in pain. "Honestly, I don't know who did it.."
Valeria's mouth thinned, her heart started racing. "Who did what?"
Jane offered a weak smile. "I woke up in the middle of the night to someone in a mask standing over me. I know it was a man. The mask was . . . It was burlap. It looked like a scarecrow. Before I could scream some kind of gas filled the cell. I remember . . . everything." Her voice cracked. "There were bugs, so many maggots, spiders, roaches. They all crawled on me and burrowed into my skin. I-I tried to get them off." She reached for her face. "When I screamed some crawled into my mouth. I had needle marks on my arms, just like my parents have. I saw Sebastian and my grandparents dead bodies." She was crying, gripping onto the sheets while her body shook.
Valeria wanted nothing more than to hug her, seeing someone so vibrant be stripped of color.
"So he gave you some kind of hallucinogen?"
Jane nodded. "It felt real, every bit of it. I think it went on for four hours, felt like more. He didn't intervene when I was clawing off my skin, he didn't even move. He just stood and watched me, like some kind of experiment. I thought I was going to die. The only time he spoke was to ask me what I'd seen. There was no emotion, no regret. I think he almost enjoyed it. His voice was so deep, so demonic."
Valeria didn't know how to respond, didn't know how any words could offer Jane comfort.
Luckily, she didn't have to, Jane sniffed, eyeing the ice pack and her lip. "How'd you wind up here?"
Valeria lowered the ice pack to show Jane. "Gerald and I didn't agree on his chess skills." Jane laughed, quickly covering her mouth and apologizing.
Valeria chuckled back. "Don't worry, it was kind of funny."
"Punching Crane, taking on Gerald, maybe you need some anger management."
Valeria rolled her eyes playfully. "I'm half covered in bandages, maybe I need to learn when my opponent is too much."
"Kind of funny we ended up here at the same time. Glad to have the company."
"Me too. Sebastian will at least know you're not bleeding out or missing a limb. What do you want me to tell him?"
Jane's face fell, looking off to the side.
"He deserves to know the truth," Valeria offered.
"You're right . . . If you don't mind, I'd like to tell him . . . Do you think I'm crazy?" Valeria held up her hands.
"No, I don't. I think there are enough fucked up people here that one of them could do that. You do what you feel is right. My lips are sealed. You should get some more sleep, you look completely weak."
Jane nodded in agreement, turning on her side and snuggling back into the bed. Valeria listened until her friends breathing became deep and slow before releasing a sigh.
She didn't want to cry, not with the way simply looking over made her eye scream in pain. She leaned back on the pillow, eyes locked on Jane. She refused to sleep, no matter how long it would take. She would watch over her friend, in case this masked man came back to finish what he started.
A while later the nurse came back in with something in her hands walkimg over to Valeria.
"Take these." The nurse held out two pills and a cup of water.
"What are they?" Valeria asked, removing the ice pack and setting it beside her.
"Does it matter?" She sighed in exasperation.
"Yes."
"One is for the pain another is a pill your doctor prescribed." She hadn't remembered Dr. Lecter mentioning he'd put her on medicine. She took the pills, washing the bitter taste in her mouth down with water.
They sat in silence for a while before the nurse walked over to Jane and injected something into her IV.
"What are you giving her?" The nurse glared up at her. "A sedative so she sleeps through the night." The nurse returned to the computer, leaving Valeria to her thoughts.
It took twenty minutes before Valeria knew something wasn't right. Her heart was racing, she also felt anxious and paranoid.
"When did Dr. Lecter prescribe me that pill?"
"He didn't, Dr. Crane did."
Valeria froze, dread overtook her whole body. Icy coldness in her veins, fear in her chest. She felt so stupid for not asking.
"D-Dr. Crane prescribed it?" Her mouth was so dry. The nurse nodded, not bothering to look at her.
"I need Dr. Lecter, can you please get him?"
"Dr. Lecter is busy at the moment, he doesn't have time to come down here."
"I wonder how he would feel knowing you didn't inform him of one of his patients being physically hurt. Or giving them medicine without checking with their primary doctor." She saw the nurses hands pause, glancing up at her.
"I'll inform him of your condition, but not your request." She turned on her heels and left once again. Valeria was sweating now. If she puked up the pills she'd only be given more, not to mention too much time had passed. It was already in her system.
Her mind was spinning, body shaking. If she woke Jane then they'd both be panicking, but she didn't know if this drug would knock her out.
"J-Jane?" Her voice was distant, beyond her own body. "Fuck, Jane!"
Her mind was in a state of pure panic now. She pulled against the handcuff, frantically looking around the room.
There was a pen on the desk, right next to her bed, if she could only reach it she could pick the cuff lock.
She stretched out her hand, fingers barely brushing the side of it. She hissed as her limbs screamed in pain.
The pen was shaking in her vision.
Then a hand reached out to pluck it up, holding it out to her. She froze, looking up at Dr. Crane who had a smirk on his lips.
"Trying to grab this?" She grabbed for it but he quickly pulled his hand back, placing it further back on the desk.
"What did you give me?" She hissed.
"Nothing you need concern yourself with." He pulled up a chair from the corner and sat beside the bed. "It is merely something to help you relax."
"I'm the fucking opposite of that!"
"Instigating a beating to see Ms. Lockwood, quite the cunning plan." Dr. Crane is ignored her statement. Valeria was starting to think her panic was fueling whatever drug was coursing through her blood. The more she worried about it, the more her body started shaking.
"You did this to her." The words felt triumphant on her lips, like she had solved some great mystery.
He tilted his head at her. "No, my dear. I am just as confused as you about the situation."
The colors of his aura swirled and filled the room. She was in a sea of deception. Groaning, she turned on her back, sitting up.
"Why did you come here?" Her voice was shaky. A wave of nausea swept over her. Shadows danced out of the corner of her eyes making her flinch and scan the room.
"To check on you, you took quite the beating." His eyes flickered from her to Jane.
"She doesn't know, if she does she didn't tell me." She hoped these words would stop whatever he was thinking of doing.
"There's nothing to know about psychotic tendencies. Hallucinating is normal for psychosis."
"She isn't psychotic!"
"Who's going to believe that? Especially when it's my word against hers. Her parents have an extended history of drug use. She has one of suicide attempts. We have cameras in this asylum. No one saw a masked figure entering or leaving her cell."
"I believe her," she spat.
He grinned, showing teeth which sharpened into fangs. She saw the snake coiling back to strike.
He sat forward reaching a hand out to grip her cheeks between his thumb and forefinger. The pull of her cheekbone make her yelp in pain.
"Who do you think would actually believe you? You are still a patient at Arkham asylum, home for the criminally insane. Whatever bonds you think you've formed are an illusion. I am a respected psychiatrist, not to mention you have no proof. As much as I know you wish to paint me as your villain, I am not responsible for this."
"She's not crazy!"
"Ah, because you know her so well, yes?"
Desperation clawed at her bones. "Please," she whispered.
His eyebrow rose, a twisted smile formed on his face. "Please, what?"
Valeria's eyes cast to Jane. "Don't hurt her again."
"I've already told you it was not I." He released her face, leaning back in the chair, crossing one leg over the other.
"Then post a guard at her cell! Do something to keep her safe! She's not crazy, you fucking know that."
"I have countless other patients, I would gain nothing from that besides entertaining a delusion."
"What do you want?! Want me to beg?" Her question was meant in exaggeration, but he quirked his lips, waiting.
She saw something in that moment. He would never be swayed by her pleas. They would only fuel him more. So she could only think of what she did best. "You can kiss my ass. You're a damn coward and a piss poor excuse for a doctor."
Fight.
Something dark cast over his face, when he reached his hand out again it was quick to attack.
His fingers curled around her throat, applying enough pressure to scare her but not limit her oxygen intake.
Shivers ran down her spine. She froze in fear. Her breathing grew ragged and she reached up her uncuffed hand to grab his wrist.
"Let me make something perfectly clear, Ms. Gray," his tone was serious, threatening. "You have no power in this asylum. You are nothing but another individual society has thrown in here to get rid and not be responsible for. You are under my care. That means this building is under my rules and so are you. Do you know what that means?" The question was asked the way one would ask a child it, slow and condescending.
"That I really got myself into some shit?" She gagged when he tightened his grip on her throat, leaning forward.
"It means I own you."
The words sent adrenaline throughout her body, as if it finally realized the danger that lay before it.
"Please," she whispered, losing herself in the fear. "Please don't hurt her. I'll do anything."
That seemed to intrigue him. "Anything?"
She wasn't sure if it was the drugs, her desperation to protect any person she had a connection to, or maybe a concussion from her earlier beat down, but she tried to nod. "Yes."
"Here I thought you were incapable of forming relationships," he teased. "Perhaps it's just guilt."
"Perhaps."
"You lack a sense of self preservation, but seem very aware of others survival. It's unique."
"Do we have a deal?" Her ears were ringing so loudly she thought her skull would burst.
He released her, she finally felt she could breathe. Her eyes tracked him as he stood from the chair, placing it back in the corner. "We'll discuss your willingness in the afternoon tomorrow, during our session together. Until then I will have a guard posted here . . . To ensure this individual cannot get to Ms. Lockwood."
She dug her nails into the palm of her hand, relief, it only a small amount, filled her chest.
"What exactly have I agreed to?" Her words were calm, a mask of curiosity. Inside she was terrified.
His smile was reserved, one meant for his own thoughts.
"Get some rest, dear. You're going to need it."
He walked out, leaving Valeria to face the rest of the drugs side affects in silence.
She didn't know what Dr. Crane was capable of, all she knew was she felt like she had sold her soul.
All to protect Jane. Who Sebastian would suffer without. They needed each other the way Lucian and her had.
When the guard showed up at the door as Dr. Crane had promised she kept her eyes half open, knowing that trusting him was a fools mistake.
Still, sleep eventually overcame her.
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figurativepieceoftrash · 10 months ago
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Can I ask why you hate Vacation? Don't have to share if you don't want to, I'm just curious.
I wrote Vacation specifically to appeal to fandom trends and create something popular. I noticed that bnha readers tended to gravitate towards ridiculous, non-constructive, low-stakes crack fic with fandom humor, which I personally dislike reading/writing and find quite boring, and decided to attempt regardless bc my work never achieves the kind of engagement I want and I thought the dopamine hits would be fulfilling
Initially the insane stats were really nice! I got maybe thirty comments in the first day of posting (INSANE for my work) and a higher kudos to chapter ratio than I knew what to do with. Big fandom names who had never engaged with my work before were leaving stellar reviews, and I finally felt like something I'd written had a chance of going viral. The only issue was that I felt absolutely nothing for the story I was writing and in many cases outright despised the tropes I'd engaged with
I hate the badass Inko trope, the clueless, incompetent dfo trope, the genius Midoriya Izuku trope, fandomized dadmight, etc. etc. etc. the list goes on, but I'd realized that each of these tropes enable a fic to perform better despite how inherently reductive they tend to be. Which would be fine except that it led me to despise the way I'd portrayed characters I know I'm perfectly capable of liking in the right depictions and thus absolutely loathe writing them
Beyond this crack fic is. Just absolutely, monumentally, most definitely, infinitely and forever Not My Thing™️. Fandom humor relies on warping the characters involved in ways I feel are reductive and sticking them in situations they'd never realistically be in for the sake of a type of tongue in cheek "haha isn't [character a] so smart and wisecracking and [character b] so incompetent?" farce that just in no way appeals to me. Call me a fun killer, but I've always hated ooc comedy imagines and characterizations (the Izuku stealing a dead nighteye's merch/merch hoarding in general, Uraraka being a money-grubbing mizor, Aizawa loving cats/constantly adopting kids, Izuku is snappy and sarcastic and dfo doesn't impact him at all he says so what, etc. etc. I'm sure you can think of many more), incorrect quotes blogs, big bnha blog joke aus taken as canon, etc.
I tend to prefer comedies like Arrested Development, Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and Curb Your Enthusiasm where the humor arises naturally from the characters being the way they were designed to be in natural situations rather than like,,, warped funhouse mirror versions of characters losing or gaining a skull's worth of braincells to adhere to ooc characterizations the fandom collectively deems as funny on some arbitrary, indiscernible basis. I get fandom humor it just doesn't amuse me at all, and honestly I've blocked way too many bnha blogs for constantly shoving it in my face. No hate, it's preference, I just really prefer not to engage with it
Vacation was me shilling out my values and preferences to be popular and it didn't even perform as well as it could've to boot. Frankly writing it was really tiresome and unfun for me and I personally don't vibe with the brand of humor it has at all. It was a slog from start to finish and it was only two chapters long
I'm definitely not judging anyone who likes it, but it probably isn't something I'll ever revisit unless I'm in a REALLY bad place mentally and need writing validation lol
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lonely-soul-02 · 2 years ago
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Hi there! Your post with your thoughts on the Loch Lomond kiss are very interesting and since you've been a fan for a very long time and also lived to witness all the 90s craziness, I wonder if there's an exact thing or incident that made you think about the Gallagher's relationship deeper and discover Gallaghercest since you said you got into that much later despite being a fan for a very long time. And do you have a theory how this all could have started between them? I read pretty interesting psychological analyses on the tumblr blog which is literally called "Gallaghercest"
Hi! That’s a good question and one that I’ve been pondering myself for quite a while.  
Disclaimer: It’s all just my opinion. No one knows what Liam and Noel mean to each other except for them.
For the longest time I didn’t really want to believe it - that there could be something more to their relationship. Anything eyebrow raising, such as the Loch Lomond kiss, I eventually explained away, like a lot of people did. Like the majority of fans still do today. And as I have said, that was easy enough to do when you weren't being reminded of it constantly.
In the mid 90s, I was in my early 20s and struggling with my sexual orientation. I must have found some aspects of their behaviour towards one another triggering (to use today’s parlance) for reasons other than incest. Looking back, in my confused and tormented young mind, I must have conflated gay with incest; the different negative associations became mixed up together, and I quietly freaked out about my own self-worth.  It was only after I came to terms with being bisexual and made peace with myself that my attitude towards the Gallagher brothers changed. I came out a long time ago, but it took a good long while after that before I could say to myself: you know what, I think Liam and Noel are in love with each other and I think I should empathise rather than judge. Because I'd been judged. Badly.  Empathy and fascination with their relationship developed by degrees over time, which paved the way for a couple of light bulb moments that I had not so long ago.
Personal situation aside, as a fan, I was still perplexed by that Loch Lomond kiss.  And my main question was why?  Why did Noel do that?  What would make him do that? I’d been drunk and high enough times in my life to know that drugs don’t make you suddenly tongue kiss your sibling.
One day I was eating my lunch in a park, in the sunshine, thinking about it, turning possible answers over in my mind, when I had one of life's rare moments of clarity, a simple logic that laser-beamed itself into my head from nowhere.  Because he wanted to.  Nothing made him do it. He wasn’t forced or coerced, nobody held a gun to his head. Noel kissed Liam of his own free will. But why would he want to? Well, duh! Again, logic! That was a bit of a facepalm moment. lol Are the simplest answers the right ones sometimes? Who knows.
Not long after that, I was listening to Dead in the Water and hearing it quite differently from before, and looking at that photo of Noel standing in front of the neon street sign with the caption I still want to kiss you. And yeah, that moment was like taking the red pill. lol   I was like, oh come ON. Wake up!  Like, what more do you need to see to be convinced, a photo of them kissing? Oh - wait…
As for a theory about how it all started, Storyshark’s Trying To Find A World That’s Been and Gone is a theory in itself.  Honestly, that fic  and every word of it is the very definition of plausible. My own pet theory is a bit too long for this post so I might post it later.  But basically, as with Storyshark’s fic, I think they probably experimented, or had a type of fling together before they were famous. Then fame happened.  Then it call got rather complicated.  As to why it started? Possibly they were drawn to each other as a source of comfort growing up in a dysfunctional and abusive household where trust was not in abundance, and they found themselves turning to one another for that reassurance? Sadly, looks like trust was and still is a real issue for them.
Thanks for the name of that blog, I’ll have to check it out.  I like reading other people's theories.
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possessionisamyth · 1 year ago
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So, while I do think a lot of the criticism of Remake Ada is in bad faith, I do think there is something to be said about how the design of the character does not match the personality they gave her.
They clearly want to portray Ada as someone who puts up a cold, professional front with a heart hidden underneath but the outfit they gave her still screams Femme Fatale and is in some ways even less appropriate than her original outfit. The animated direction doesn't help either with quite a few shots of her ass. Not that any of this is remotely the fault of Lily Gao who clearly knows what type of character she is supposed to be voicing.
Basically, the writing and acting for Ada aren't the issue, the design and visual direction are the issues.
I forgot I got this in my askbox! I can't really add much to this. You're right, but the problem isn't limited to Resident Evil. Many game franchises pull this shit no matter how nuanced they write the character's story and personality. If they have boobs, it's fair game to try and sell the sex angles. It's honestly their default most of the time.
The people who spend money and yell the loudest about the things they've purchased are the opinions that corporate will listen to. It's why we get the scene of Rebecca struggling in a wedding dress in Vendetta. It's why we got Claire tank top shot and then struggling while tied to a chair in Infinite Darkness. It's why we got that close up of Jill's cleavage with the licker tongue in Death Island. Hell, it's why you could look up Ashley's skirt in the original RE4, an aspect that a very specific group were so pissed about being removed in the remake. Maybe that's why they added all those close ups to Ada's ass and not her face. Who knows! I couldn't tell you. I don't pay much attention to the development side of media unless I have to fix a problem or it's an interesting factoid.
Also gotta take into mind who is behind most of the development process decision making. Is it mostly men? Yeah. Are there good men writers/directors who don't do this shit? Also yes. Are they the ones with the final call on all these decisions for the particular game/movie? Probably not. Which is why it happens, and why it happens so often.
I'm sure when it comes to outfit design and framing, thematically speaking, the stark contrast of Leon's old flame Ada to Leon's new flame Ashley could be used as a line of reasoning. Ada has to be the lusty forbidden fruit while Ashley is the pure fairytale princess, but I'm not here to spout bullshit with confidence. Ada was supposed to look hot and sexy in the original games. They did the same in the remakes, but due to her sweater dress they likely chose to improvise for the same effect.
Does it suck? Yeah. Is it good because woman hot and I do thirst for Ada? Idk! I'm still waiting on my fave youtuber to play Separate Ways DLC, and I'm avoiding spoilers like the plague.
I could attempt to go further into what design decisions define a femme fatale, gender expression, and how a woman and a man can wear essentially the same outfit but the woman's will be framed as more sexual or fragile due to how she's forced to move combined with the camera angles. However, I feel it's faster if you look up those mods where people replace the guy characters with girl characters in game cutscenes to see the sexism at play.
Batman and Catwoman wear the same outfit until they start giving him more armor in later iterations. But look.
Tumblr media
Sometimes the clothes don't matter. I think there's a mod where someone switched Ashley and Leon's roles too, and you can see Leon doing Ashley's girly run versus Ashley doing Leon's manly sprint even though they both have shirts that cling to their fat tits. I'm sorry if you wanted something more nuanced than this. I'd say the only true solution to this problem if they're so insistent on selling sex is to give me more ass and bulging crotch shots of the men. It's only fair.
As for Ada's writing versus her depiction, her writing is just recently becoming stabilized and good. If they Remake RE6, we can see whether or not they learned their lesson or if these choices will keep being made regardless. Though they need to fucking remake Code Veronica first.
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brick-a-doodle-do · 2 years ago
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It's been forever since I've been on tumblr so have an ask for the ask game thing, 1, 2, 3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 10, 121, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50
-Small brain anon
sb. you've struck again. just for you, since i haven't seen you in a while, i will answer all of them. except for the ones i have asked: 2, 3, 8, 12, 15, 18, 19, 22, 23, 27, 33, 39, 44, 45, and 50!
answers under cut,,,
1 : if you have a lighter, what color is it?
i have one, but i don't really use it. also i have no clue where it is. it's blue tho!
4 : how often are you on tumblr?
oh god. i have a horrible addiction to like constantly checking it, which i am not proud of and it's really annoying. but i'm not on tumblr for longer than 5-ish minutes before i decide to close the tab. but that cancels out when i open the tab again a few minutes later. trying to fix it. but i am pretty much always on tumblr and check it at the most every 5-6 hours :/
5 : are you only doing this because you're bored?
mmhh when i rbed it, yes, but now i want to do something with my fingers and this is a good fix :D
6 : what blogs do you mostly interact with?
depends on what "interact with" actually means but in terms of actually interacting with blogs that also interact with me, (moots, essentially), it's really only becky and squishy on a day-to-day basis. sometimes 3d and sloth pop up tho. i interact, (in terms of liking, rb-ing, etc.), with a whole bunch of ppl tho ,,,,
7 : can you swim?
yes!
9 : which do you prefer, cotton candy or funnel cake?
if i've had funnel cake, i don't remember it. so cotton candy. but honestly funnel cakes look way better ,,,
10 : have you ever used a fork as a bookmark?
no i have not! i'd easily consider it though ,,
11 : bass or drums?
god both are so awesome. but i'd say bass. BUT my exception for that is mark boardman that man makes their songs so fkn amazing have you HEARD the drums in golden hour or oyygc? LIKE MCXMCMXN his drums with wil's voice is just so lovely.
13 : can we be friends?
yes!
14 : do you admire the clouds and the color of the sky?
all the time. being in a car is so lovely because MMMM SKYYY !!!
16 : a netflix series that's your favorite?
the haunting of hill house/bly manor and midnight club are all beautiful shows and i fkn love them ,,, i also love orange is the new black even tho it isn't a netflix original ,,
17 : an earliest obsession you can remember?
g/t. it's a basic answer but looking back on my life, all the way from when 4-year-old me asked my dad what he would do if i shrunk, to writing a story about a giant when i was in 3rd grade to whatever the hell my fanfiction writing has turned into which started in 2018—it's a BIG part of me and has been for a while
20 : have you listened to the crane wives?
UGHMGDS,VXMCM qasdvkmdscMDFFSDVCX I LOVE THE CRANE WIVES. I AM CONSIDERING ASKING TO GO TO ONE OF THEIR SHOWS CAUSE IT'LL BE IN PHILLY !!!!! I LOVE THEM SMM
21 : your first celebrity crush?
aiden gallagher . don't ask. and it only worsened with tua. but i am out of that phase now ^_^
24 : what have you learned about yourself?
that i'm more like my mother than i ever thought i'd be eueue (in a /neutral way cause she's a great mom i just find myself doing the habits of hers that i never liked)
25 : can you tie a cherry stem with your tongue?
ah, no. i've tried once and gave up ,, i hope to eventually be able to do it tho !!
26 : do you believe in aliens?
in a way, yes, because there is a lot in the universe and i refuse to believe there isn't some type of life out there, but it's my same response with ghosts: i want to believe
28 : an unusual song that's your favorite?
LOTS. to narrow down on one, any of my favorite broadway songs. in any scenario i would never put it on a playlist but i fucking love broadway sm it itches something in my brain. probably something from heathers cause that's such a dark humor-ed thing,,,,
also a tv show called earth isn't my favorite but it's really sweet idek why i enjoy it sm <3
29 : the last thing you ate?
candy cigarettes !! the chalky ones
30 : do you have a favorite time to write?
mainly at night, from the hours of 12-1 when i really want to sleep but there's a scene in my head that won't leave >:)
31 : have you gotten bitten by a dog?
of course,, but nothing dangerous just when they accidentally bite while playing
32 : do you write better with a pen or pencil?
my handwriting is better with a pencil but it's easier to write with a pen imo
34 : when you hear "peace" what do you think of?
mmhghh satisfaction on everyone's person.
35 : a school subject you're good with?
honestly i'm pretty good at math. i'm not the best and it gets overwhelming but it always does ,,,,
36 : how many alarms do you have set?
one, (for 9:40 am), and i don't follow it. i mean not usually. i'll either wake up before it, sleep through it, or wake up to it and then fall back asleep eueu
37 : do you shop at thrift stores?
when my mom takes me to one, yeah !
38 : what's the meaning behind your url?
mm i have good stuff for this. my name is brick, of course, and then in the show derry girls one of the characters is constantly saying 'fuck-a-doodle-do' for a few episodes and then i decided to combine the two. it has NOTHING to do with cock-a-doodle-do, chickens do not deserve my respect.
40 : who's your favorite character to write?
i feel like tommy is my go-to, and yeah the narrator for him is fun asf but i like writing techno. he's fun. i like him a lot more than i did before which i'm really happy about because i found his character very intimidating to write :D
41 : you gotta have a favorite beatles song, what is it?
this may change, but it's twist and shout. it reminds me of my dad :D
42 : earphones or a speaker?
earphones for the quiet me-time, and speaker for the times when i'm feeling extroverted or when i'm in the car w my mom :)
43 : what do you remember from your childhood?
this is such a vague question. i uHNMM remember lots of stuff, but mostly my annual trips to disney world with my family !!
46 : a christmas song you secretly like?
there is no secret here, but i LOVE ¿dónde está santa clause? it's mildly racist but i love the ending sm 😭
47 : book stores or record stores?
book stores !
48 : how weird were these questions
i found them pretty neutral eueueu and fvcnhcjfdbbcx ahhhh finally i am at the end !!!!!
49 : what scents do you like?
gasoline and chemical-induced markers...i'm not ashamed to admit that. they're so bad for you but they SMELL SO GOOD why ??????? also i love pinapple scented stuff :D
50 : are there 20 new aus i have to catch up on?
ah, YES. yes there are. they should all be on my masterpost! but that's just the names of them, altho i'm sure if you searched on my page you could find them easily ,,,
,,, ah. well. i'd say thank you for the ask....but am i really thankful? /j of course i am. hope you are having a good day and are doing good ! <3<3
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vtori73 · 5 months ago
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Personal post below
(just ignore):
I'm just putting this out there for myself because no one's really here except me, lol. Anyway... it just seems weird to start off your first kiss with someone with tongue. I'm sorry but it just seems like borderline boundary crossing unless you know for a fact they like that or are okay with that sort of thing, it just seems so presumptive at the very least.
I guess I'm just not over how my first kiss went which was when I was in college & was with tongue (sort of, basically just slipped it in my mouth at the end of the kiss, which I will admit I wasn't prepared for any of it & didn't really do shit because I'd never kissed at all before). It may have not really meant anything or could have been a possible red flag because tbh that first relationship of mine was... wasn't great. Just a lot of boundary crossing on their part that they didn't really want to or like to admit to & honestly is probably why they broke up with me, or what I theorized a long time ago closer to when it happened which was that I just became too much of a handful and they wanted out. They just wanted me because they were lonely & on the rebound and I was there, inexperienced and easy to please/take advantage of. I think I really was just their sexual gratification honestly, or at least that's what it seems like I was when I think on this shit nowadays because it just kind makes sense.
Not saying it was all bad though, there were good times but I don't think there is a good enough reason to think of them. But, part of me wants me to be nice and open to the idea I'm being one sided/overreacting about my past relationship but another part of me also knows Im not and just trying to make excuses so I don't really have to face the actuality that I was basically taken advantage of. I'm not saying it was intentional intentional but basically it's kind of what of happened. Even though I didn't expect a lot I did have some expectations that were basically crushed a lot that I never voiced to them because I figured I was being unreasonable, mean, picky, whatever.
Like one thing I will never get over was a card I got for my birthday from them that was... bad, it was bad. It was a homemade card that barely said anything of substance & literally barely said anything. It was just sad and seemed like something someone much younger could/would make & was either something done with the least amount of effort or something done at the last minute and I remember feeling nothing but disappointment however I knew I couldn't voice those feelings, I mean they made me a card so who am I to complain? I mean it would be wrong to expect more since they didn't have money to spend at the time but their roommates actually got me something for my birthday which was a surprise to me and I honestly thought it was very sweet and kind of them, I do hope they know how much I appreciated it. Part of me does wonder if they felt bad for me, not necessarily because of that, I feel like I may possibly have some vague memory pointing in that direction but I honestly can't recall so *shrugs.* I don't remember any other details about the card, I got rid of it long ago & have a horrible memory but I had kept it at first because I'm a sentimental person regardless.
Anyway, I don't really want to get into the worst stuff that happened in the relationship, that's a little too personal and raw for me that while I think about occasionally is still different from actually typing or talking about out loud its... just too personal. I just wanted to get into the more light/petty stuff I've never had the chance to say to anyone, literally I've never told anyone the about the card (or at least I don't think I have). I think there were other petty things I took issue with but I honestly don't remember anymore that one was honestly the biggest one. I'm also going to say this because I feel like I have to but I don't for one second think I was perfect and made mistakes, I know I did, I may not know or aware of everything but I do know I did make some mistakes, my memory no longer remembers much so I don't really know if certain things were my fault or theirs but regardless this doesn't apply to the things I know for a fact they did wrong that hurt me back then and probably still affect me today.
Honestly, after this relationship I had/have a hard time seeing myself pursuing romantic relationships. I actually haven't liked anyone since and honestly im thankful for that because I'm definitely not in a place to be in one and wonder if I ever will be or if I even deserve to be in one. I just can't help but feel like I deserved what happened and that I'm at blame for it all and especially with how I handled some stuff so I just can't help but feel it would be better if I just stay single to not get hurt but to also to avoid hurting others.
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joeygoeshoppity · 7 months ago
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This is a bit about me.
Hey, guys!
This blog has been created for the purpose of recording what I'm doing in my daily life - from May 13th onwards, I'll be uploading stuff (not regularly) on this blog that I feel I'd want to share with you guys, or I might need a perspective on, or ask a few questions, or even make a few acquaintances.
Here's a few things about myself to get started! ~ BASIC IMPORTANT STUFF: What can you call me?: Zoey, Joey, Zo(zo) How old am I?: Well... I'm not going to tell you guys that just yet. I'll say I'm a teenager, though. Nationality: Indian and proud! Many people do confuse me for a Filipina or American citizen, so I'm going to clear it up here. Birthday: 13th November ~ DETAILS ABOUT MY PERSONALITY: Sun, Moon and Rising Signs: Scorpio, Aquarius and Cancer MBTI (Myers-Briggs Type Indicator): ENTP-A (The Debater) Enneagram (with wing) and Tritype: 2w1 215 Alignment Chart Result: True Neutral Temperament: I-C (Sanguine-Melancholy) What are some of my good traits?: I guess I'd say I'm pretty smart - emotionally and intellectually. Many people say I'm level-headed, wise and determined, and the nicest person around. What are some of my bad traits?: While I have a lot of determination, I can get distracted very, very easily. I also have a very sharp tongue and a strong ego on occasion, getting myself into a lot of fights. ~ STUFF ABOUT MY INTERESTS: What do I aspire to be when I grow up?: An architect or an interior designer is of my highest interest, and Annabeth chase is a huge inspiration of mine in that sense. But it doesn't mean that I want to limit myself to just that - I could be a writer, a chef, a voice actress, a vlogger - anything. What book genres do I read?: Generally, I read fantasy novels, but I don't have a preference. And no, I'm not a part of Booktok. Any specific books that I like?: Definitely any major book by Rick Riordan, as well as The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind by Yuval Noah Harari, the Anne of Green Gables series by Lucy Maud Montgomery, Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli and a few Alice Oseman books too! What movie/show genres do I enjoy watching?: I definitely have a preference for action, comedy and drama films - nothing makes me love a film more than it managing to make me feel like I want to cry. Any favorite shows or films?: I've enjoyed a bunch of films and shows, but nothing beats 8 Below, 3 Idiots, The Lion King, Anastasia, the Adam Project, A Silent Voice, Percy Jackson & the Olympians, Heartstopper, Mystreet, Minecraft Diaries and a few others. What other things do I enjoy doing?: I play the piano (currently in Trinity Grade 4, sketch, sing, play videogames and generally enjoy socialising with people when I get the chance. Other than that, I enjoy annoying (and doting on) my mom, begging her to go out and enjoy new culinary experiences, and being a slight couch potato when I have time to think to myself. And now... ~ FANDOM-RELATED INFORMATION: Hogwarts House: Hufflepuff Patronus: Dragonfly What Harry Potter character would I be?: I would probably not end up being one specific character - I'd probably end up with Neville's heart, something similar to Luna's creativity, Hermione's intelligence and the rest of it... well, Ron Weasley, minus all the siblings. Percy Jackson cabin: Cabin 6, as expected - half of the time, though, I honestly thought it would be Cabin 11 or Cabin 14. What Riordanverse character would I be?: Like with the Harry Potter characters, definitely not a specific character. I'd have Annabeth's intelligence, Frank's sense of self, Magnus's sense of humor and Samirah's self-control. (I'd fill in more stuff, but I feel partially like I want to collapse from post-exam exhaustion.) Anyways, that's my introduction for now. I'll probably redo it later... maybe after a year or two. Hope you guys don't mind reading this absolute dump of an introduction.
See you guys sometime (hopefully) soon!
Sincerely, Zoey
"Where’s the glory in repeating what others have done?"  - Luke Castellan, Percy Jackson and The Lightning Thief
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cosmiixstars · 3 years ago
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Proiciamus Immortales: Chapter 01
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PAIRING: Bang Chan x OC
GENRE: soulmate au, angst, urban fantasy
TAGS/WARNINGS: mentions of drugs, hospitals, angst, and awkward proposals
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“Off to the hospital again?”
I stopped mid-packing and turned to give my grandma a quick peck on the cheek. “Yep, yep yep,” I muttered, resuming shoving my night clothes into a backpack. ”It’s been a while since I last saw Arin, and I figured I'd go there just to check up on stuff. Did you want something 'Ma?”
She shrugged and sat down on my bed, disturbing a pile of clothes which I quickly grabbed to keep from falling. “I suppose you’re going to be staying a few days there as usual?”
“Probably, if they have room to spare,” I replied jokingly.
It’s been over ten years now, since I got involved in an illegal drug trafficking case. Ever since, regular hospital visits had become a regular occurrence. My parents, both who worked with the government, dedicated their lives to hunting down the traffickers. I was pretty sure they were aware of the danger, but they stubbornly persisted, achieving their goal, but paying a hefty price as a result; losing their lives. Part of me bore resentment towards them for leaving me alone, but I knew that any of this wasn’t their fault; it was mine.
“Shall I make you some sandwiches to take?” my grandma’s voice interrupted my thoughts.
“That’d be great honestly, thanks!”
I shoved in some toiletries and two ramen packets and zipped the bag shut. With a sigh, I glanced around my room, racking my brain to find if I’d forgotten anything. Satisfied that I hadn’t, I slung on my bag and made my way downstairs.
I squeezed my grandma in a bear hug and gave her stern instructions on how to manage while I was gone, which had become a ritual of a kind since I'd started visiting the hospital. Making her promise to call twice a day, I waved to her and jogged down the narrow gravel path, walking briskly with the aim of reaching the train station.
Pulling out my phone, I began to type out a quick message to Arin.
* * *
[You]; 09.31am
Hey
I’m on my way to the hospital
Have room for one more patient? ;)
* * *
I couldn't help grinning at the thought of meeting my long time friend and confidant in a few hours, as well as a certain dark haired acquaintance I had made during my last visit. A soft ping made me glance at my phone, and I smiled when I saw the notification.
* * *
[Lee Arin]; 09.37am
You bet ;)
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The white hospital building hadn’t changed much. There was still the same bed of plastic roses near the entrance, a thin sheen of dust accumulated over time which no one had bothered to dust off. I entered the building, scrutinizing every single piece of decor to make sure nothing had been replaced. The receptionist, a sweet girl a year younger than me whom I was well familiar with, gave a small gasp upon noticing me and I greeted her back cheerfully.
“Su Ara, how dare you not call me even once when you promised to call every week,” she pouted.
“Ah sorry Lia, I blame my terrible memory. Besides, college has been kicking my ass these past few months, I barely had time for anything else.” I removed my bag and slid it along the marble counter. “I can trust you to take care of my stuff right?”
She stuck her tongue out at me in an extremely childish manner. “Duh.” I had to clench my fists to keep from pinching her cheeks.
“I’ll see you later then.” Pointing towards the staircase, I added, “Arin is in...?”
“Room 41.”
I shot her a thumbs up and trekked up two floors, navigating through the various wards until I came across the one I was searching for. I knocked rather hesitantly. The door swung open and I nearly lost my balance as I was tackled by a hug.
“I mished yu, Shara.” a muffled voice sobbed, her face buried in my coat.
I smiled softly as I patted the small girl’s head, leaning down to kiss her forehead. “I missed you too, Minji.” Gently prying the girl’s hands from my shoulder where it was sure to have bruised under her surprising vice-like grip, I led her into the room, lifting her up and tucking her into her bed.
“I see someone’s happy to see you.” I turned around sharply at the sound of a familiar voice, to see a middle-aged lady, gray hairs peeking from the hospital cap, standing at the doorway. Her face was marked with new wrinkles, but she was still undeniably beautiful and had an aura around her that reminded me of home. I went to hug her wordlessly.
“Minji has been pestering me ever since I told her you were coming to visit today. If I were someone else, I would’ve been driven mad,” she chuckled softly, releasing me. “Fortunately, I’m not.”
I attacked her with questions, whether she was eating well, taking her medicine on time and whether she was doing well in general. A ghost of a smile played at her lips, as she answered.
“By the way, we have a new patient,” Arin began uncertainly. “in the rehabilitation center. He came in a few weeks ago.”
I froze, a cold chill creeping up my spine. That was impossible, unless…
“I know what you’re thinking, no, it’s not the traffickers. It was purely an accident this time, poor lad. It must be painful, he inhaled quite a lot of that damned drug. That reminds me, would you mind checking up on him now and then? He’s got no family apparently, and I thought maybe it’d be nice if he has some company given how the world is overrun by sinful wretche—”
“Of course I will,” I interrupted before she launched into a lengthy speech about the seven deadly sins and contrary virtues. “Should I go see him now?”
“He’s under anesthesia, maybe after a few hours. Right now, you’re going to tell me what you’ve been up to for the past eight months.”
“And me too!” a small voice quipped from under the blankets.
I grinned. “Yeah, you too, Minji.”
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“Can I come in?” I asked, hand stilling on the metal door of the ICU. When I got no reply, I gently pushed open the door and peeked inside.
“I hope I’m not disturbing you in any way, but may I come in?”
The boy, perhaps one or two years older than me, turned around — his face barely concealing his fatigue — to mumble a reply. “Yeah sure—wait, do I know you?”
I nearly dropped the bag of takeout I’d brought along when I saw the dude’s face. He had to be the most good looking guy I’d met in the twenty two years I’ve been alive, not that I’ve been around that many males since my parents’ death. My grandma’s house was far on the outskirts of modern civilization, and we lived the old country style life, barely having to interact with any humans.
He blinked in confusion, and I realized with a start that I hadn’t answered him. “Oh yeah, not really. I’m actually a volunteer at this hospital, and I uh… I usually check up on certain patients. I can go if you’d like though.”
He remained silent for a moment and then replied so softly I barely heard him. “No, it’s fine.”
Encouraged by this, I placed the bag of food on the bed, and sat down on a chair next to his bed.
“By the way, I brought this for you. Not the best get-well-soon present, I know,” I said nodding towards the plastic bag, “Maybe you can have it when you’re hungry later?”
“You barely know me, you didn’t have to—”
I scoffed, cutting him off. “Believe me, I know how much being stuck in a hospital room with needles sticking out of your body for weeks feels like. This is the least I could do for you.”
His eyes widened slightly at my outburst, but remained silent as if waiting for me to continue. I cleared my throat awkwardly, trying to think of something to say. “I uh… I didn’t really introduce myself earlier, my name is Su Ara, most people call me Sara but you can call me whatever, I don’t really mind.”
“That’s a pretty name. I’m Bang Chan, it’s nice to meet you, Sara.” he tried to bow, which proved to be a mistake when he bumped the IV stand over, causing both of us to jump in alarm. I rushed to place it upright, while Chan started to mumble out apologies. I flashed him what I hoped was a reassuring smile, and carefully placed the stand in it’s rightful position without disturbing any more wires or machines.
“I- I’m sorry, I didn’t—”
“No seriously, it’s okay,” I emphasized my point with two thumbs up and an unnecessary wink. “You won’t believe how clumsy I am.” Chuckling, I sat back down and absently glanced at the clock that hung on the opposite side of the room. It took a few minutes for my brain to process the time, but when it finally did, I shrieked.
“The time! Oh god, I didn't realize- I can’t afford to miss it one more time—” I had shot out of my seat, and out of the door before Chan could get in a word. Remembering, I backtracking my steps, and poked my head in from the doorway. “Don’t forget to eat that before the food gets cold!”
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There are moments where I wish the floor would swallow me up. This was one of those moments.
“You cannot be serious now—” Arin broke off in another peal of laughter. Heat was beginning to creep up my face at this point. “It was my favorite show, okay,” I sputtered in response, only for her to laugh even harder.
“And to think, and to think that poor boy thought you injured yourself somehow; I can’t right now,” Arin wheezed, gasping for air.
“Okay, old lady. Give Sara a break,” a male called from behind me, but I could hear the smile in his voice. I scowled.
“I just don’t get what’s so funny about the whole situation, Evan.” I plopped down on the empty bed. “When did you get here anyways?”
“Just a few hours earlier.”
Evan was my childhood friend, who also happened to be one of my only neighbors. Although he was painstakingly annoying, he was one of the few people I truly trusted. You could say he was a brother-figure to me.
“How’s grams? It’s been a while since I visited you guys.” Did I mention he went to a college some five thousand miles away? So technically, he isn’t our neighbor anymore.
“I’m just going to check up on a few things in the next room, you guys talk,” Arin said before disappearing behind the door.
I shrugged, pulling the comforter up-to my chin. “She’s doing great I guess.”
Evan cocked an eyebrow at my last words. “You guess?”
"Pardonne, Monsieur. She’s doing well for a woman who’s nearing her eighties. How’s your training going?” I asked, referring to his medical studies.
He groaned, and fell comically onto the bed. “Don’t get me started,. It’s absolute hell. I don’t know what possessed me to think becoming a doctor was an easy task.”
I couldn’t help but laugh dryly at his words. “Why don’t you drop out if it’s that hard? Become a theater’ student. You have the talents for that shit.”
He sat up straight at that. “Of course not. I started this, and I’m going to see this to the end.”
I patted his shoulder fake-sincerely. “I believe in you.”
Evan broke out in a grin. “Tell me, how are your classes coming along? Uh, you were majoring in what again?”
I gasped dramatically, putting on an expression of betrayal. “How dare thou, fair mortal, hurt me thus? I dropped out a week ago you dumbass. If you had the sense to check your messages, you would’ve known.”
Evan sighed deeply, and stood up straightening his black jacket. "There's something I've been wanting to tell you..." He walked over to the little desk at one corner of the room, and rummaged his backpack for a mystery object, smiling when he finally found it. I sat up and peeked behind his form, curiosity roused, only to have him hide the object—which I noticed was wrapped in pink gift wrap—behind him. I frowned at his odd behavior, lying back down; my efforts having been in vain. He sat at the foot of my bed, and fiddled with something, before turning to face me. I stuck out my middle finger at him, hiding my face beneath the blankets.
“Don’t you want to know what this is?”
“Not interested.”
“Come on Sara. I brought this handmade gift all the way from Italy~”
I pulled the comforter down just enough for me to see him. “Do you really mean that?”
“Yep.”
“Okay, you’ve got my attention, young man.”
He hopped down from his position and onto the floor, and motioned for me to do the same. I got up with a sigh, but curious. Extremely curious. It must’ve showed on my face, because he smiled, his dimple popping in and out of his cheek. He brought out the gift from behind him, and I noticed small red hearts dotting the package. I squinted at him, “What is that?”
“You’ll see.” He replied simply, handing over the package to me. It was the size of a dictionary, and I turned it around in my hands suspiciously. “Can I open it?”
“Go ahead.” I caught his hand shake ever so slightly.
I tore the wrapping open, careful not to damage whatever was inside. A navy blue box peeked at me underneath the layers of paper, and I felt my blood run cold. Please god, let it be anything other than what I think this is.
I removed the last layer of the wrapping and was faced with a jewellery box. “Evan, is this—”
“Don’t say anything,” he interrupted, his voice quivering. “J-Just open it already.”
I gulped, my own hands trembling with dread. I opened the box and nearly passed out. Twinkling under the faint light, a silver ring sat, a big, fat diamond in its center. A small note was tucked in behind the ring. I pulled out the paper, and read the sprawled handwriting.
‘Will you marry me?’
And that's when I felt it. A dull ache across my shoulder.
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bill-y · 4 years ago
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INURE
Peeta Mellark x male reader
[ We all know who Katniss Everdeen is, but what if Primrose hadn’t been chosen but another boy from another unfortunate family? YOUR family. ]
Info: This is basically a reader insert and I’ve changed a few rules, not ground breaking though. The reader is a bit bland for now but I plan for his actions to be different. Because he has different moral grounds from Katniss and such. Would appreciate feedback! FEEL FREE TO POINT OUT TYPOS. GRAMMARLY SOMETIMES DOESN’T DO MY DYSLEXIC ASS JUSTICE
Part five: Click here, butters, elpacho, last meheecan.
Part six: You're here, dumb!
Part seven: Finally here!
Wattpad account: L0calxDumbass
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Peeta and I end up helping Haymitch to his compartment, the reek of vomit and alcohol wasn't exactly pleasant.  Since we couldn't set him down the bed, we ended up hauling him to the bathtub, setting the shower on him. 
Peeta gave me an odd look when I laughed awhile ago; there was no humour in the situation after all. Forming a good impression wasn't really on my agenda. "It's alright; I can take it from here," he said.
I nodded, "Okay," I nodded, putting my lips together. "Do you—need me to call those Capitol people?" I asked, stumbling over my words. My confidence seemed to have been drained at some point.
He shook his head "No, I don't want them," he responded. I nod for the last time and head to my own room, relieved that I don't have to wash putrid vomit off Haymitch's chest hair, or something. Though it would be the perfect "revenge" for the people working here, I get why he doesn't want to see them. 
I wonder, why does he want to help such a wreck? Was he simply kind like the time he gave me bread? Or was he using this to gain Haymitch's favour? A feeling of nervousness bubbled up within me, a kind Peeta Mellark was way more dangerous than an unkind one. Not everyone in the district can afford to be kind, so kind people make such a mark on me.
I looked at the packet of cookies at the table beside the fancy bed—a lump formed in my throat. Kindness would've been nice, but not in this situation. I sighed, taking my attention to the window instead. 
There stood a lonely yellow flower, a dandelion. It took me back to the schoolyard, all those years ago. My eyes had just left Peeta's bruised face when I saw that dandelion; hope rose within me that moment, I plucked it gently from the ground and hurried home. I grabbed a small, broken bucket and grabbed Nal's hand and headed to a meadow. It was filled with the same flowers.
It was the first moment where Nal smiled after our Father's death. He loved the way the flowers smelled and looked. However, he was quite upset because we had to eat them, with the rest of the bakery bread. My father loved his plants, maybe a bit too much. 
I remember countless hours we spent in the woods looking for a specific type of plant, whether for eating or for medicine. He had me memorize them by heart, which took a couple of years because I got distracted halfway through. 
The next day, we were off to school. I hung around the edge of the meadow after, contemplating whether I should jump the fence. My mother couldn't get a job, well, she didn't want to. She thought the whole District would shame her the moment she stepped out of our crumbling home. It made no sense to me; we had nothing to lose anymore.
Which is exactly why I went under the fence, retrieved the old, leather-bound daggers my father made from scraps and wood. It was pretty frail, but if you handle it carefully and throw it properly, it won't break—most of the time.
I didn't go beyond twenty yards that day; I didn't feel confident enough to go deeper, fearing I'd get lost in the forest. I took home a small rabbit that day, we hadn't had meat for months, so it honestly looked like a full course meal, like the one we were served in the tribute train.
My mother isn't the greatest cook, so she burnt a couple of bits, mainly the thighs. But it still filled us. The woods became my second home, escaping the sad atmosphere my mother gave off and the pressure the Peacekeepers would regularly make us feel. 
The hunting started slow, but each time I went under, I went deeper. I stole eggs from nests, jumped from tree to tree and managed to shoot a squirrel or two down. I struggled with the fish; my father would always throw his dagger to the fish with little to no effort. Whenever I'd throw mine, it would miss. It took me a couple of times to figure out the water distorts my vision.
The plants were no effort; I knew which one to pick, which ones were poisonous. The signs of danger used to terrify me back to the fence until I gathered enough courage to climb the tall trees, then I stuck with it, not liking the feeling of being chased. The wild dogs would always leave me alone after a while.
On July 15th, I finally signed up for the tesserae, carrying the first batch of grains and oils in the same broken bucket I used to gather those dandelions. I patched it up with some scrap bark. On the 15th of every month, I would put my name once again. I still had to hunt; grains weren't enough. We still needed soap, milk, thread and many more things we used to have. I began to trade in the hob, learning how to hold my tongue in the process. My father used to trade there as well; he used to do all the talking while I watched, stayed silent. 
And so I simply tossed the game I had to their tables. They caught on fairly quick; I'd only speak up when it came to bargaining or when I'd change what'd I'd buy. Or when I would insult wild dog soup. My father was a charismatic man, always able to persuade people to buy whatever. Not me, though, I was like a sore thumb. Painful, to talk to at least.
My mother wasn't very enthralled with the fact that I had been hunting, too much like my father, she said. That's when we argued, "Don't be stupid like your father!" she shouted. I remember my face contorting to anger, how my fists clenched as she continued to scream. 
I finally exploded, "Why don't you go out and get a job if you don't want me hunting, then? You'd rather we starve?!" I said, slamming the table. "I won't die, I won't end up like father! I won't be Capitol's pig, neither was he!" 
"But if you do die?" She argued back, tears flowing down her cheeks as she gripped both my shoulders. "I'm only thinking of you, Y/n!"
I scoffed, glaring at her, "If you're thinking of us so much, then why aren't you helping us?! If I don't die being accused of rebellion, then I'll die because of those stupid games because of you!"
"Don't blame me for this! It was your father's fault for being brash—" She reasoned, but I cut her off by pushing her off me. I stared at her as if she grew three heads. "They asked you," I whispered, "All you did was nod, you could've lied."
Her green eyes shook at my words, "Lie to the Peacekeepers? The Capitol? And get us killed as well?! I only what your father wanted," 
"They didn't have anything on father! It was your voice that gave it away! It's your fault that he's dead, now we're over here starving because you can't get over yourself—"
Then there was a sting on my cheek. She had slapped me. My eyes landed on a crying Kunal; guilt surged through me, so I ran. I ran to the woods and slept on top of a tree, humming a soft tune to the mockingjays next to me. They listened and sung back. I fell asleep to their lullaby, surprisingly, not falling off.
I found my hand on the same cheek my mother slapped that day. I was going to die the same way I said, how ironic. I won't be able to apologize or tell my mother I loved her anymore. A sigh left my lips as I continued to stare out the window. 
I clenched my fists, punching the wall as my breath hitched. I let out a groan, holding the stinging part of my hand. I glared at the wall, grumbling under my breath before I decided to fall asleep, not wanting to think of my regrets and what I could've done. As I closed my eyes, I only hoped my dreams would be pleasant. 
"Up! Up! Up! It's a big big day!"
Effie Trinket's voice awoke me from my dreamless slumber. I groaned, muttering profanities as she left my compartment. I tried to imagine what it was like in that stupid wig--- well--- head of hers, it made my head hurt.
I had fallen asleep in the green shirt, causing it to become wrinkled, the. Not that I cared, there will be some stylist stripping me anyways. I shuddered at the thought of Capitol people touching me, what a nightmare. My eyes landed on the packet of cookies on my bedside table. I decided to grab it.
I entered the dining compartment, still half-lidded and yawning. Effie Trinket brushes me with a cup of black coffee. She was muttering obscenities, probably because of Haymitch. Peeta held a roll, looking somewhat embarrassed  "Sit down! Sit down!" Haymitch said.
Peeta flashed me a smile, amused by how dishevelled I look. To be fair, I wasn't a morning person, I find waking up to be a tiring task. I rubbed my eyes, the packet of cookies still in my hands as I slid down the chair.
They served an enormous platter of food. I'd hate to admit it, but I was starving. So for the first time, I decided to stab it with the fork, not sure what to do with the cookies so I pocketed them. I figured I'd eat them much. . . much later.
I chewed slowly, glare on my face as my eyes struggled to remain open. I didn't even notice the orange juice next to me because of it. Peeta nudged me, handing me a cup of brown, rich liquid. It was quite warm. "They call it hot chocolate," he said. "It's quite good,"
My green eyes moved from him to the cup, then back to him. As if asking for permission. I sniffed, muttering a "thank you," before I took the cup from him. The moment the hot chocolate touched my lips I felt awake.
Not only was it hot, but it was also amazing. I've never tasted anything like this before. Coffee was a luxury, this I cannot even fathom. After I've drained my cup, I put it down and muster a sheepish smile. "Is there more?" I asked, my voice hoarse.
Effie seemed to be excited by my sudden interest. "Glad you're finally appreciating the finer things," she quipped as another cup was passed to me. "Right," I responded, gripping the cup tightly.
I stopped eating when I felt somewhat full, only asking for more hot chocolate. Peeta is still eating, breaking off bits of roll and dipping them in his hot chocolate.
Haymitch hasn’t paid much attention to his platter, but he’s knocking back a glass of red juice that he keeps thinning with a clear liquid from a bottle. Judging by the fumes, it’s some kind of spirit. I don’t know Haymitch, but I’ve seen him often enough in the Hob, tossing handfuls of money on the counter of the woman who sells white liquor. He’ll be a mess again by the time we reach the Capitol.
"So, you're supposed to give us advice," I said, taking a sip of the hot liquid. He grinned, "Here's some advice, stay alive," then he burst out laughing.
My brows furrowed, "Ha. Ha." I let out, unamused. I glanced to Peeta, surprised to see Hardness in his eyes. Usually, he looked mild. "That's very funny," he said as if adding to my remark. He suddenly lashed out at the glass in Haymitch's hands. It shattered, spilling the blood-red liquid on the floor. "Only not to us,"
Haymitch took this opportunity to punch Peeta straight in the jaw, knocking the boy out of his chair before turning around to reach for more spirits. I stopped him, driving a knife into the table, between his hand and the bottle, barely missing his fingers.
I expected some sort of retaliation, but that didn't come. "Oh, well what is this?" he said. "Did I actually get a pair of fighters this year?"
Peeta rose from the floor and scoops up a handful of ice from under the fruit tureen. He started to raise it to the red mark on his jaw.
"No," Haymitch stopped him. "Let the bruise show. The audience will think you’ve mixed it up with another tribute before you’ve even made it to the arena."
"That’s against the rules," said Peeta. "Only if they catch you. That bruise will say you fought, you weren’t caught, even better," said Haymitch. He turns to me. “Can you hit anything other than the table?"
I shrugged, pulling the knife off the table. "Your head or. . ." I said, before tossing the knife in between the seams of two panels. If I was confident at one thing, it's my aim. But not so much with a bow.
"Stand over here. Both of you," ordered Haymitch, nodding to the middle of the room. We obey and he circles us, prodding us like animals at times, checking our muscles, examining our faces. “Well, you’re not entirely hopeless. Seem fit. And once the stylists get hold of you, you’ll be attractive enough.”
Peeta and I don’t question this. The Hunger Games aren’t a beauty contest, but the best-looking tributes always seem to pull more sponsors. Though I do enjoy the fact that the stylists are likely going to have a hard time styling me.
"All right, I’ll make a deal with you. You don’t interfere with my drinking, and I’ll stay sober enough to help you," said Haymitch. "But you have to do everything I say,"
Of course, there's a catch. "Fine," Peeta said while I shrugged carelessly, sipping on my hot chocolate. "In a few minutes, we’ll be pulling into the station. You’ll be put in the hands of your stylists. You’re not going to like what they do to you. But no matter what it is, don’t resist," Instructed Haymitch
Oh, well there goes my plan on being a general nuisance. Damn you, Haymitch.
He takes the bottle of spirits from the table and leaves the car. As the door swings shut behind him, the car goes dark. There are still a few lights inside, but outside it’s as if night has fallen again. I realize we must be in the tunnel that runs up through the mountains into the Capitol. The mountains form a natural barrier between the Capitol and the eastern districts. It is almost impossible to enter from the east except through the tunnels. This geographical advantage was a major factor in the districts losing the war that led to my being a tribute today. Since the rebels had to scale the mountains made them easy targets for the Capitol's air forces.
Peeta and I stood in silence. My finger raised, mouth opening but I decided it wasn't worth it and awkwardly shuffled to one of the windows. He seemed to have caught on, however. "Nice view, isn't it?" he joked.
"I guess if you're blind," I answered dryly, raising the warm cup to my lips. "Sophisticated darkness, my favourite type," I finished.
He chuckled, walking next to me, the train slowing on cue. My muscles tensed as the sunlight entered the compartment. It was blinding. After my eyes adjusted I finally saw the Capitol.
I would be lying if I said it wasn't beautiful. Rainbow hued buildings that tower to the sky, possibly beyond. Shiny cars rolling on the fancy, clean pavement streets. The cameras failed to capture its beauty. It would've been perfect if not for the fact that the oddly dressed colours, wearing blizzard wigs and painted faces exist.
They looked painfully artificial. I much prefer the natural tones of district 12. "Eugh, how do they look at themselves?" I muttered, catching the attention of Peeta, who chuckled at my comment.
Huh, I forgot that he was there.
The same disgusting people began to point at us, enthralled. I was sickened, they couldn't wait to watch us kill each other like wild wolves. I suppose that's better than ending up at soup.
I stepped back, a scowl on my face. No longer able to stand the obnoxious attires and the mocking smiles of scums. Peeta held his ground, smiling and waving at them.
He only stopped when the train stopped at the station, blocking up from their view. "Who knows?" he said. "Some of them may be rich."
My body seemed to freeze as I took one last sip of the now-luke warm hot chocolate. That's when I realized, I had misjudged him. Not that I can read people well.
Which made sense, if I could I would've known that his father visiting me, offering to help Haymitch only to challenge him and now, waving and smiling at those slugs. He had a plan in mind.
He hasn't accepted his death yet. Peeta Mellark, the boy who gave me bread was fighting hard.
And that terrified me.
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