#But everyone I've seen is like. first movie canon only anyway so!

[creatureshrieks]

oh yeah. i wrote up laurie's brief bio on her carrd though I do have a lot of ideas in regards to her future and what not.

due to the... constant different timelines and the fact i have......... zero interest...... in incorporating her family (considering she has like two different kids in two different timelines and what not idc) into my future takes on Laurie considering it's not as if anyone roleplays a Halloween muse that's not Michael or Laurie there's no point LOL.

In my takes on Laurie since I'm basing only on the first film (Because they even remade and retconned the second! did you know that! because the original director didnt like it!)

She does still get taken to the hospital after Michael attacks her on Halloween, but she doesn't shoot Michael's eyes out nor does she start a relationship with Jimmy as the second film implies. She's way too freaked out to even consider dating or romance at the moment!

Canonically - and I mean this! Canonically - Laurie was only given two days to grieve before she was sent back to school. She never received therapy for her issues due to the fact her parents, though they loved her, believed she'd be completely okay and promised her the Boogeyman wouldn't hurt her anymore. He was shot six times? He's dead, Laurie. You're okay.

Laurie swears Michael is out there, however, and in the nights following his attacks she swears she can hear him breathing all around her. She doesn't sleep and when she does, she's plagued with nightmares of his face. Of her friends. She despises the lack of care everyone around her gives her, but she is also partially grateful for the return to routine - she clings to her school in a basic attempt to reclaim some sense of being normal again. It helps her get through her days, burying herself in school. She hates school too, however, because who wouldn't want to ask about that night? We're so sorry, Laurie. Is there anything we can do, Laurie? Does it hurt, Laurie? Was it scary, Laurie? What did he look like, Laurie? Tell us, Laurie. She wears long sleeves to hide the scar on her arm, though she finds herself mindlessly rubbing it with her thumb far too often for her own comfort. She tries to cover it up, keep it out of sight and out of view.

Laurie turns 18 in February. She doesn't have a party. Her parents get her cake. She smiles even though she doesn't feel like it. Her parents get her a car.

Laurie doesn't go to her senior prom. She gets asked, but she figures it's just out of sympathy. She doesn't feel like partying. She doesn't want to stay out that late.

Laurie goes to college hours away, just in an attempt to get out of Haddonfield before the next Halloween and to put some distance between herself and the last place Michael Myers was, if he even cared to look for her again. She doesn't know if he will, she just knows that he's out there. Laurie doesn't go to parties, she doesn't stay out late. She lives in a dorm where the door is always locked. She covers her arm with long sleeves. She tries make up, but even leaving it exposed makes it feel too real. Someone asked her about it once and she made up a lie. She never left it uncovered again.

It gets a little better as time goes on. Michael is less a physical threat to watch for and more just some shape in her dreams, a shadow trailing behind her. She could move on.

That first Halloween after is rough, though. Not just out of fear, but grief, too. She never got a chance to ever really come to terms with everything that happened. Her friends didn't just die. It wasn't a freak accident, some slow illness. They weren't even just taken from her - they were posed like toys, all in some sick effort to scare her. Her. She stays in her dorm room that night. Door locked.

Part of her expects him to come, but unlike last year she vows to be ready. She won't let him torment her forever.

[lily-onher-grave]

okay okay okay thoughts/excited ramblings about the wicked movie under the cut bc i've seen it and now i'm insane about it again

let's be real it's kinda hard to fumble the opening number of a musical especially when that opening number is no one mourns the wicked and yet i was still absolutely blown away it was SO GOOD

the lil munchkins running, the singing in the streets, the posters of the witch (side note all the artwork was insanely good and just added so much to the style of oz i feel like) it was all so awesome

NOMTW becomes so sinister and they nailed it

obligatory emotional babbling about glinda standing alone in the crowd as everyone sings 'the wicked's lives are lonely'

before i left for the theater i was like 'take your bets on if i'll cry' and my roommate and i agreed that yeah obviously i would. but what i didn't expect is for ariana's sad face to knock me out in five minutes flat. i was done for

the effigy. holy shit. and handing the torch to glinda. i want to go see the whole thing again just so i can rewatch that scene. my heart still hurts

(also nanny! sort of not really. but i liked the childhood scenes i liked that elphaba had one (1) good thing in her life before shiz)

SHIZ okay shiz honestly shiz was the thing i was most excited for bc c'mon, we don't write about our gothic magic school all the time in fic for nothing. and honestly it was so good. the shots of the whole castle! the library design! the balcony moments and the stairways and just like the layers of architecture and the way morrible could kind of be anywhere at any time. the way it felt so grand and yet so small at the same time. idk man the vibes were good and the set was beautiful

glinda arriving by boat was magical that's all

the way everything dillamond had was tailored to him was fantastic it was so good

actually i want to shout out the library set design again and how it tied into the clockwork theme that never gets fully called out even in the musical but it's still so good

where's my time dragon clock tho

also back up the scene where elphaba loses her temper in the courtyard--when she breaks the relief of the wizard, there's old artwork of Animals behind it and i gasped out loud when i saw it

and that was the first moment i thought 'this is brilliant but i still want an hbo dark fantasy political drama tv show based on the book'

speaking of the dark fantasy political drama tv shows, the Animal meeting!! i'm so glad they put more stuff like that in there

actually as a whole the movie felt more grounded and less comedic than the musical. i think they did a fantastic job of keeping the magic and silliness and charm and wonder of the show while still adding those extra bits of drama and dire circumstances

anyway gelphie fic prank wars trope is officially canon great work everybody handshakes all around. i was cackling (silently. i promise i'm a respectful moviegoer)

the ozdust ballroom being illegal makes so much sense. it being underwater was fucking cool. boq and nessa were actually really great and i usually don't care about them at all during this scene

also i love love love nessa and i cannot wait to see more of her. but showing her multiple times on the sidelines when elphie was being humiliated was such a good choice. the tension between nessa obviously caring for her sister yet always caring for herself more is so delicious and i always want to see it fleshed out more, and i think they did such a good job with her? her and elphaba have sweet moments which i love, and her wanting to be independent and only elphaba really understanding that is so so good. and having her just watching elphaba for so long before finally saying she can't watch. god i can't wait to see her be desperate and selfish and cold in act 2, it's gonna be so good

side note boq also looking upset by elphie being bullied. i miss my brotp man

but let's talk about what's most important: the gelphie dance. because oh my god i started crying all over again. so did elphaba. and glinda wiping her tears i'm dying i've died oh my god

i always get a little bit surprised when glinda seems more head over heels than elphaba. idk why. but ariana's glinda is absolutely more head over heels than cynthia's elphaba and i loved it

(they just. freaking LEFT the party. just zipped out of there as soon as they hugged. glinda was like hmmm i just realized some things and grabbed elphaba's hand and ran off while the night was young. and fiyero stared after them knowing that he stood no chance whatsoever)

also i'm like 72% sure the guys sitting next to me were a couple? and they both cried during the gelphie dance too and it was a very unexpected but very funny moment of solidarity

i say ariana's glinda is more head over heels and i stand by it but elphaba's fond little smile when glinda was pouting about sharing secrets almost made me start sobbing again they're so GOOD they're so CUTE and she is SO heart eyes for glinda immediately!!!

i need to be sedated i swear

popular was adorable 10/10 no notes absolutely nailed it i loved every second

also glinda sitting next to elphaba in class now. my heart <3

after dillamond gets hauled away (again with this being more violent and dark and those moments of drama coming through more in the movie i loveeee) glinda doesn't sit down until elphaba does

also they had several little moments of elphaba looking to glinda and glinda either shaking her head or nodding. they've been friends for 2 days and they're already having silent conversations i love them <3

the poppy spell? was sick as hell????

another seeing of wicked, another complete sense of bafflement as to why fiyero is there

i say this jokingly but the fiyero and elphaba romance really does feel like a product of the early 2000s especially now that it's on screen rather than on stage. idk maybe that's just the lesbian in me talking though

the train design is also sick but we knew that from the trailers

okay look logically yes i knew idina and kristin would have cameos. but i'd been crying on and off and one short day's magic had already taken hold so they caught me completely off guard. it was great

the wizard stuff was really sweet. and while i was hoping for more time put toward shiz and stuff, i do think those moments did a great job of 1) showing how much elphaba just wants to be loved 2) foreshadowing the wizard being her father and 3) laying the groundwork for her briefly considering working with the wizard in act 2, which is a decision that never quiteee feels right in the show

i love that they put more lore into the grimmerie btw. very cool

the hot air balloon was random but fun. i wonder if it'll come up again in act 2

every time. every damn time glinda starts singing in defying gravity i just want someone to end it right there. glinda grabs the broom, it fades to black, and they both lived happily ever after

fuck

defying gravity taking place at sunset because it's at the end of their one short day of happiness

also UM morrible coming up and hugging glinda when she's crying. exquisite emotional manipulation i'm screaming

elphie! seeing! her! inner! child! i loved the baby elphie scenes even though i prefer creepy 'horrors' elphaba always. but seeing her come back was sooooo fucking good

elphaba only ever relying on herself, in the end

glinda's final 'i hope you're happy' took me out, as it always does, as it always should. and reaching out from the balcony? i'm sobbing again

morrible dragging glinda into the darkness while elphaba flies into the sun! someone fucking help me i'm already wrecked by these two

honestly my biggest complaint is that now i have to wait for part two, i want to see the rest nowwwww

[jjclopelover]

How he talks to/about her v.s. How he talks to/about him

I'm back with more analysis' about JJPope and why it's better than anything either of them had with Kie.

Today I'm talking about JJ and how he speaks of and to them and why the difference in how he does it speaks VOLUMES.

JJ talking about Kie (S1): "Of course, I'm hitting on her. She's a super-hot, rich, hippie chick, slumming with us. Why? I can't figure it out either, but who cares, bro? I know that door's locked because I tried it. Have you?"

JJ talking about Pope(S2): "Ain't all that bad. Just look at the guy over there. He would do anything for us. That's a Pouge if I've ever seen one. Bone-deep. That's just one man's opinion, though."

THE DIFFERENCE.

JJ talking to/about Pope:

"For once in your life, trust someone else."

~~~

"You're the golden boy."

~~~

Topper: "Hey, I just wanna make sure everyone here is okay with ending up in federal prison."

JJ: "Uh, if it gets to that, yeah, I'll do it for Pope."

~~~

"I'm here for you, Pope. Welcome to my world, okay?"

~~~

JJ talking to/about Kie:

"And you--I mean, you're already rich as fuck anyway. Why would you bother?"

~~~

"Okay. Not all of us can afford unlimited data plans, Kiara."

~~~

"Hell of a job melting it down, Dr.Frankenstein."

~~~

(I don't need to put anymore as all of JJ's quotes for Kie are from the first half of S1 lol.)

As you can see, JJ speaks highly of Pope and lowly of Kie. He sees being a pouge as a badge of honor and gave Pope the highest honor. He sees Pope as someone he can relate too and shares a deep connection too.

He doesn't see that with Kie.

And I hear Jiara stans saying "What about S3? He was so worried about her and went back to get her!"

And to that, I say, "Yeah...cuz it's JJ."

His number one trait as a character is his loyalty. It's his best trait as it shows how much he will do for his friends. But also his worst trait as he puts his friends over his own being and in the end it only hurts him.

JJ would have reacted the same if it was anyone else in that situation.

Like when John B was a wanted criminal, JJ did anything for him. (risking to get arrested himself, shooting cops, and being by his side when he was on the run)

Or when Sarah is dealing with Ward or Rafe, JJ is always watching over her. (running after a car that held a drugged Sarah unconscious in the back, jumping in a shipping crate to get her and the cross back, staying by her side, and keeping an eye on her when John B was found guilty in court.)

And even Cleo who just joined the crew, JJ makes sure to treat her like the rest of the pouges. (like when he praised her for convincing Pope's parents to let him go to South America)

And we all know that he would do the same if not more for Pope. (going to jail for him, almost getting arrested for him again, taking over an entire boat of men to get his cross plus Sarah, risking being seen with him at Midsummers when he was supposed to be undercover, taking a beating from his dad for him, fighting for him at the outdoor movie, being super protective about him anytime he was around Limbrey and Renfield, keeping the secret that Pope was the one who actually sunk the boat and lying to the others, bringing Pope to his cousin Ricky's house to save his life even tho Ricky was still pissed at him for stealing his ambulance.)

And many, MANY, more.

The way we are introduced to JJ who loves and protects Pope but pushes Kie aside

versus

The way they "built up" S3 JJ for a toxic relationship with Kie but as a result of that he has to push Pope aside.

The writers and creators gave us s1 JJ, that's how his character was made and supposed to be portrayed. S3 JJ was built off toxic fans who threatened their way into an unfortunate canon ship.

Toxic stans = Toxic ship.

You Jiara stans wonder why JJ felt out of character, or why the Jiara chemistry felt forced or fake. That's because it was.

You can't force chemistry.

All the OBX cast did chemistry reads to see which duos worked together as a couple and which didn't. But the one duo that did not do a chemistry read was JJ and Kie (Rudy and Madi)

why?

because the creators saw no need. as they weren't even thinking of getting those two characters together. JJ was supposed to end up with Cleo. That was one of the many reasons Cleo came back as a main character.

What they would do with Kie and Pope, I don't know and I don't care. But Any ending would have been better than canon Jiara.

Anywaysssss

JJ treats Pope like he's his partner

and

JJ treats Kie like she's his sister

But let's be honest...we all see that, don't we?

Editor's note: Sry this took so long lol, life's been busy :)

[freelancearsonist]

el chico del apartamento 512

➔ Frankie Morales x gn!Reader - 1.6k

➔ There's a rumor going around your building about the resident of apartment 512, and you're eager to investigate.

➔ Rated PG-13 for allusions to sex but otherwise just some plain old fluff and fun. post movie canon wife and kid erasure sorry, takes place in colombia, both reader and frankie speak spanish and everything is translated.

➔ this is my entry for the Selena Drabble Challenge hosted by mi esposa @fhatbhabie <3 sorry i've been sitting on this forever hehe but i hope you enjoy

Frankie barely manages to pull himself out of the slump he’s in for the first year or so after the absolute disaster in the Andes.

He misses his family, misses his friends, misses his crew–his brothers. He tries to convince himself that it’s for the best, that it’s only a matter of time before those assholes who were in cahoots with Lorea come after him–that the people he loves will be safer and happier if he’s not around them when it happens. And most of the time he can block all that sadness and pain out by throwing his whole mind and body into the earnest construction job he picks up in this new town within this new country. But it catches up to him late at night in dreams and quiet whispers of intrusive thoughts; that he’s a coward for abandoning the ones that needed him most, that he could’ve done more to make that damned mission less of a disaster. That he could’ve come out of it rich and happy if he wasn’t such a fuck-up.

He wakes up screaming in the middle of the night, an ache so deep in his chest that it feels like he’s been shot. He clutches at his sternum and tries to catch his breath but he can’t. His body wracks with sobs and he knows he’ll never be okay again.

But somehow, he ends up okay anyway. Somehow, he falls back to sleep just to repeat the cycle the next day.

There’s a rumor going around amongst your neighbors that apartment 512 is haunted.

People hear things–weird things. Screaming, crying, banging–and always at the dead of night. And everyone swears up and down that they’ve never seen the guy who supposedly lives there. The people who say they have seen him get more dramatic with their descriptions every time–toweringly tall, shoulders that could stand up to a wrecking ball, hauntingly sad eyes and gaunt face. It’s like he’s a thing of legend–a story they tell their kids to make sure they behave. “Don’t run in the halls or the guy from apartment 512 will get you.”

You figure he’s probably just some guy who works long hours and likes to watch horror movies to unwind or something–not a monster or a ghost, just misunderstood. You haven’t seen the guy yourself, but you kinda like him anyway. The building’s certainly been a lot quieter since he moved in… well, everywhere except his own apartment, at least. 

You find yourself keeping a more vigilant eye out, alert to any face in the building that doesn’t look familiar. It seems kinda silly to want to see someone you don’t know, but you’re a little nosy and a little more than curious. If there’s some truth to the rumors that have been going around by the people who claim to have seen him, you want to find out for yourself.

It’s a completely ordinary night when you notice an unfamiliar face in the mailroom, and you have to do a double take. This stranger is handsome–tall and dark with shaggy brown hair and an even shaggier patch of stubble across his jaw.

He’s just standing there, staring blankly at a row of mailboxes, looking so… foreboding. You approach slowly, cautiously; part of you thinks you should just walk away and let this man do whatever he’s doing. But there’s a large, louder part of you that approaches with curiosity. There’s just something about him that draws you in, that makes you put on your best smile and ask, “Señor? Necesitas ayuda?” (Do you need help, sir?)

He blinks slowly, heavily, and then dark brown eyes flicker towards you.

“Oh!” He clears his throat and it’s like he’s coming back from an out of body experience–the color returns to his face, his eyes lose that glassy sheen, and his posture loosens a bit. He looks friendly now, sheepish even. He wrings his big hands and shifts on his feet, as if he’s been caught at a vulnerable moment. “Lo siento, estaba en la nube.” (Sorry, I was spacing out.)

“Está bien,” you tell him with your most disarming smile. “Andas buscando algo?” (It’s okay. / Are you looking for something?)

“No, solo estoy recopilando mi correo,” he rumbles before flashing you the most charming smile you’ve ever seen in your life. (No, I’m just getting my mail.)

He fishes through his pockets and finds a small silver key–and then he inserts it into the box labeled “512”.

“Tú vives en el apartamento 512?” There’s a strange air of reverence in your voice despite trying to hide it. This is the guy everyone’s been talking about, and he doesn’t seem nearly as monstrous as everyone tried to make him sound. (You live in apartment 512?)

“Uhhh… sí?” He chuckles and looks over to you, and you can see the way his brow furrows at the look of shocked surprise on your face.

You realize you’re actually gaping open-mouthed at the poor guy, and you snap your mouth closed as soon as you see the little crease between his brows deepen. Not soon enough for it to go unnoticed, though–the corner of his mouth flickers up in a pseudo-smirk, and god he’s handsome.

“No hemos tenido la oportunidad de conocernos aún.” You look up at him and give your best, winning smile as you give him your name. There’s a strange, fluttery feeling in your stomach as his dark eyes meet yours–have you mentioned how handsome he is? (We haven’t had the chance to meet yet.)

“Mucho gusto,” he says with a smile. “Soy Frankie. Supongo que vives en el edificio también?” (Nice to meet you. / I’m Frankie. I’m guessing you live in the building too?)

“Oh, sí,” you say with a slight laugh. “No soy ningún tipo de acosador, vivo en el apartamento 526.” (Oh, yes. / I promise I’m not some kind of creep, I live in apartment 526.)

And then you catch his eyes dragging along your form, not even the least bit subtle, and you try your best to be nonchalant about the way you have to lean against the wall to avoid melting into a puddle on the mailroom floor; especially when you see those full lips of his curve into a smile, and you know he’s liking what he’s seeing.

“Nah, no creo que seas un acosador,” he hums–and there’s that damned smirk again. If you don’t get out of here you’re going to start drooling. (I don’t think you’re a creep.)

He grabs two letters from his mailbox, examines the envelopes, and then unceremoniously dumps them both into the trashcan in the corner with a mumbled, “Malditas estafas por correo.” (Damn junk mail.)

“Eso es lo único que recibo ahora también,” you tell him sympathetically. (That’s all I get anymore too.)

He brushes past you slightly as he moves to the door, and you get a whiff of distinctly woody cologne that makes your heart pick up a beat. You try to act normal and go to open your own mailbox, but he stops in the narrow doorway and leans against the jam to look at you.

“Te volveremos a ver aquí?” (Will I see you around again?)

You think the rumors about him were right, at least a little bit. He’s towering and imposing–he fills the entire doorway with ease. He’s firm and broad and sturdy and big. Maybe he would be intimidating to someone else, but all you can think about is climbing him like a tree.

“Sí. Puedes verme cuando tú quieras.” (You can see me whenever you want to.)

His eyes flicker indecisively for a moment, and then he draws his bottom lip between his teeth. “Qué tal viernes por la noche?” (What about Friday night?)

You try not to focus on how you want him to bite into you like that as you tell him, “Sí, eso sería perfecto.” (Yes, that would be perfect.)

“Perfecto. Te veré luego.” And then he flashes you that damned adorable boyish smile again before he retreats from the mailroom. You think he’s going to be trouble for you. (Perfect. I’ll see you then.)

The monthly building meeting is Saturday morning, and you’re glad to see Frankie’s decided to join in finally. Everyone throws curious looks his way as he walks through the room towards where you’re seated, but no one is curious or brave enough to ask who he is.

“Buenos días, querida,” he murmurs, discreetly ghosting a kiss against your cheek as he drops into the seat beside yours. There’s a hint of amusement in his eyes as they trail over your outfit: the same one you wore to dinner last night, the same one you picked up off his bedroom floor this morning and shoved on hastily to get to this meeting in time. (Good morning, dear.)

Before you get a chance to respond, your neighbor from across the hall plunks down in the seat on your other side.

“Escuchaste ese ruido anoche?” She asks, sounding more amused than annoyed. (Did you hear that noise last night?)

“Qué ruido?” You ask with a raised brow. (What noise?)

She smirks with satisfaction, like she knows something you don’t. And then she looks pointedly between you and Frankie. “Suena como si nuestro fantasma en el apartamento 512 hubiera conseguido un socio para él.” (It sounds like our ghost in apartment 512 got himself a partner.)

You nearly choke on your own tongue, but Frankie just chuckles raspily and wraps an arm around your shoulders. He learned all about the rumors from you last night over dinner, and he thinks they’re hilarious. Besides, they’ll die out soon enough anyway–he’s never slept quite as peacefully as he did last night in your arms–if he doesn’t feed them a little bit. And if feeding the rumors means keeping you moaning and groaning the way he did last night, he can’t say he minds it one bit.

➔ beta: @shakespeareanwannabe; dividers: @saradika-graphics

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[bg-11]

Ripping into TCW's A Friend in Need, in which every character is awful.

I'm going to be upfront about this: I do not care for TCW, I never really have. See, I've always been a big stickler for continuity, even as a kid, and by this point there was *plenty* of Clone Wars related content that had been set across the whole 3 years of the war. The big issue of course was always Ahsoka, who of course just couldn't neatly slot into that timeframe at all because there were already plenty of comics that made it clear that Anakin never had a Padawan. She was a square peg the writers of TCW had jammed into a square hole. Of course, Ahsoka wasn't the only example, it was clear the writers never really gave a shit about what other, better writers had already established, and so retcons and continuity errors were rife with the series, only increasing as it continued. Exactly the kind of thing I was leery about. I was willing to give it a chance when it first came out, but that optimistic goodwill didn't really last too long.

I watched it on-and-off when it came out to check it out, I didn't want to judge it without having seen it. It was the same when I heard about how obnoxious Karen Traviss' Republic Commando series was, I wanted to see if that was as bad as people were saying it was (it was worse). By Season 4, I was pretty ready to write it off, the retcons were getting bigger and bigger (Even Piell getting killed off before his Canon death in Coruscant Nights, changing Asajj Ventress' backstory and fate contrary to what it was in the Republic comics, treating the Nightsisters as if they were literal witches who could use actual magic, the list goes on, but those were my biggest gripes). One episode that stood out to me though, was A Friend in Need, an episode in which pretty much everyone except for Artoo is stupid, malicious or both. At the time, I thought it was the worst episode of TCW yet. Has that changed since then? Yeah, but I'd still count this episode as the dumbest.

For whatever reason, the episode popped into my head recently after...I don't know how long its been, relatively shortly after the episode aired, I guess? And, I don't know, I guess I wanted to take a jab at picking it apart? I've never really done this before, there've been a couple of times when I've wanted to examine bad media, but for whatever reason, I never really got to it. So, fuck it, better late than never, I guess. So, I rewatched the episode to get it fresh in my mind. As the old EU was still Canon when this aired, I'm putting it through the lens of it still being Canon when I talk about it.

There's a good reason why my friends call me a masochist, I guess.

Things start out on Mandalore, where Ahsoka is escorting Padme, Bail and Mon Mothma in talks with representatives from the Separatist Senate when Lux Bonteri walks in. When I first watched A Friend in Need, I had missed Lux's Introductory episode which also introduced the Separatist Senate, so I was a little confused here. Confused because prior to TCW, there wasn't a Separatist Senate, the Confederacy was solely ruled over by the Separatist Council. Now, there's commentary from Filoni that apparently, the EU writers had misunderstood the purpose of the Separatist Council, that no, they weren't the leaders of the CIS, and that the megacorporation's who made up the CIS were just neutral parties. I have two issues with that, first being that I trust Dave "I sincerely believe this man wants to fuck wolves" Filoni's word about as far as I can throw his furry ass, and two, that isn't how it comes across in the movies at all.

The leaders of the Trade Federation, Intergalactic Banking Clan, Techno Union and Commerce Guild are all present, outright saying they're pledging their alliance and their armies to the Separatist cause. That they're apparently neutral, uninvolved parties doesn't gel at all, it just seems like a clumsy retcon to me. One of many.

But anyway...

Lux busts in and causes a scene, accusing Count Dooku of murdering his mother, so the Separatist senators have their guards drag him away. Ahsoka, concerned, gets permission from Padme to follow him, as long as she's discrete. Lux is dragged back to the Separatist's shuttle, where a hologram of Dooku appears to gloat a bit, before telling the droids to execute Lux. Why he doesn't just use the Force to choke him, I don't know, all you need is line of sight.

Now, I'd actually misremembered how this scene went down. In my memory, Lux dropped an ion grenade to disable the droids and *then* Ahsoka showed up. Apparently my flawed memory made Lux more competent then he actually is in the episode. How was he actually planning on getting away? We'll get back to that in a moment, but for right now, he's at the battle droid's mercy.

And then Ahsoka intervenes.

Here's another issue I had with Ahsoka, her characterisation. There were a couple of moments that stuck with me that I think are relevant here.

Season 1, episode 19, Storm Over Ryloth: Ahsoka has to learn not to be a reckless, headstrong idiot because she gets her troops killed.

Season 2, episode 1, Holocron Heist: Ahsoka has to learn not to be a reckless, headstrong idiot because she gets her troops killed.

This episode? Ahsoka is a reckless, headstrong idiot who forces her way into a hostile situation, gets the attraction of a bunch of armed droids and leads them back towards the Senate Guards who are stationed at the Republic shuttle, quickly alerts the unaware men that some pissed off droids are on her tail, then boards the shuttle, takes off and flees back to Coruscant, abandoning the Senators she was supposed to be escorting *and* the Senate Guards who are now taking the heat for her.

Ahsoka is such a shitty bodyguard, Jesus Christ. Getting Lux to safety is a priority, fine, but why does she need to board the ship herself and flee the system entirely? Why not just have Lux board the ship, then go back to help the Senate Guards deal with the battle droids that she *led* there in the first place? They're not just regular battle droids either, they're droid commandos who are supposed to be a lot tougher and smarter than the standard B1 battle droids. We don't see the outcome of this fight, so I presume the Senate Guards won, which, good thing. Because Ahsoka abandoned the Senators she was supposed to be watching over, and I genuinely wouldn't put it past the Separatists to pull something now that these peace talks have collapsed because of what Ahsoka did. They were never going to work out anyway of course, given Sidious' whole purpose behind the Clone Wars, but the characters aren't aware of that.

Anakin gets in contact and when Lux tries to apologise with "Master Jedi, I'm sorry if I've caused you any trouble." ("If" you caused trouble? "If"?)

Ahsoka tries to brush it off with "It's nothing." Uh, no, it's not. See the above paragraphs for why it *is* a big deal, and I can't see Anakin of all people being too happy with Padme being left in a dangerous situation like that. But I guess we're brushing past that, cool.

Ahsoka points out how dumb Lux's plan was, saying he would have been killed if she hadn't intervened (true). Then Lux says no, actually, he *did* have a plan, then he pulls out a taser and stuns Ahsoka. Seriously? His plan was to go in, confront Dooku, hoping that he'd send a transmission just to gloat (apparently he "knew" he would, but why? He could just have easily been shot by the battle droids), and he went in there armed with a dinky little taser? Brilliant plan, I'm sure that would have done *wonders* against a squad of droid commandos all armed with blasters.

Ahsoka wakes up hours later aboard the shuttle with just Artoo, her lightsabers missing. She goes out to talk to Lux and finds out the contacts he's meeting are the Death Watch, that Mandalorian supremacist group of terrorists who are awful even by Mandalorian standards.

Jesus Christ, Lux is so fucking stupid.

Despite Ahsoka attempting to tell him that they're bad news, he keeps brushing it off because they *also* hate Dooku, so it'll be fine. Back aboard the ship, Artoo finds Ahsoka's lightsabers tucked away in a random drawer. So, if she had bothered to look for them, she would have found them in the space of five minutes. My God, she is useless. These two deserve each other, I swear.

Oh, and we meet Bo-Katan for the first time.

Awful, *evil* Bo-Katan.

On the ride back, Lux reveals he had a way to track Dooku's location through his communication.

Serenno. He was probably on Serenno, his homeworld of Serenno, where he has a mansion on Serenno, Serenno on which he is a Count. This isn't exactly hidden knowledge.

They go back to the Death Watch compound. see them using kitbashed battle droids as target practice and Ahsoka is marched off while Lux talks to their leader, Pre Vizsla. Apparently, he has beef with Dooku now and the Count gave him a scar. Which, first thing, if Dooku had wanted him dead, he'd be dead. Second, I actually don't remember those two falling out, so I looked it up and apparently it happens entirely offscreen between his last appearance and now, so whatever, I guess. Also, Vizsla threatens to cut up Lux if he doesn't hand over the tracer, and Lux seems pretty fine with that. Brilliant, that one, real smart.

Ahsoka gets thrown in with a hut full of enslaved women from a nearby village. Great people, those Mandalorians. Artoo, meanwhile, is taken to the droid shack and told to fix up the damaged battle droids so they can be used as target practice again. They don't even slap a restraining bolt on him, they just leave him to his own devices. Which, in this case, happens to be a room full of battle droids, several of which actually still have blasters in repairable condition as we'll see later.

Well, the Mandalorians are rock stupid, so I suppose I can't complain *that's* out of character.

Big feast is held, now Lux can see with his own eyes that the Death Watch are using the local women as slaves...but he doesn't seem to give much of a shit about it, even as Ahsoka keeps trying to point out how awful his allies are. It's at that point the village elder shows up and demands Viszla let his people go. He did this unarmed, with his only support being two other unarmed villagers, walking into a camp full of hostile people who had already taken the village's women as slaves and expected things to go well for him. When Vizsla agrees in the most sinister way possible, with several other Death Watch members openly snickering about it, the elder thinks all is well and Lux even says: "You see? They're not the butchers you make them out to be."

I...Jesus Christ, they were using the local women as slaves, but you're fine with that so long as they take them back when they're done? Lux has to be the stupidest character in this series, I swear. There is exactly one smart person this entire episode and it's Artoo.

Next day, the Death Watch take the enslaved women back to their village, the Elder thanking him for it.

And then he takes out his stupid edgesaber and stabs the man's granddaughter in front of him. Can't help but feel this would have been more impactful if obvious sacrificial lamb character had more than a minute of screentime, but okay, its awful and its typical Mando behaviour. For good measure they start torching the village and maybe set one villager on fire. And much to my shock, Lux finally gets it. I was half expecting him to brush it off as them setting fires to keep the villagers warm. Ahsoka seems to impale a guy with a blunt pole, before getting tied up. And then they drag her back to their camp from their speeder...yeah, Ahsoka should be dead.

Then Lux says this...

"I believed you had honour, but you're just murderers."

What possibly led you to think that conclusion, you absolute dumbass? This whole time, Vizsla has been acting as blatantly sinister and creepy as Dick Dastardly, if he had a moustache he'd be twirling it. Lux seems like the kind of character who needs to be told not to drink drain-cleaner, I swear to God.

As Vizsla is preparing to deal with Idiot and Useless, Artoo shows up with an army of kitbashed droids...and like I said either, a few of them have working blasters. Literally the only competent character, I swear. Artoo gives Ahsoka her lightsabers back, and Vizsla decides to duel her one-on-one, because like every Mando, he has a totally unearned superiority complex. She ends up slicing his jetpack and he doesn't even notice until Ahsoka points it out to him. How did he not hear her hit it? How did he not feel that? In the confusion of the exploding jetpack, Dumb and Dumber manage to escape, chased by Bo-Katan, but they get away.

Then Lux fucks off in the escape pod, the end.

And apparently the next time Ahsoka runs into Bo-Katan, they're besties and join forces to free Mandalore. Guess Ahsoka kinda forgot about the whole slavery, village torching and innocent people she murdered, huh? Yeah, guess so. Bo-Katan fucking sucks, she doesn't get a redemption, the narrative just wants you to forget all the atrocities she commits because she doesn't want Maul to be her leader. Zuko she ain't.

Ahsoka majorly screws up her assignment, puts senators in danger and gets some guards killed, Lux is so braindead that he blindly trusts the most obviously evil pack of killers he could find. I'd say he needs a helmet, but I don't think its possible for him to get anymore brain damage.

TCW is massively overrated, this is a hill I will die on.

[frodothefair]

hello!! I have a few questions about hobbit relationships. For one, I've read a lot of stuff where people say that hobbit's aren't shy and have a couple partners in their lives, but I've also gotten the impression that they can be sort of conservative and private about their love lives, what would your take be on this? Would they like public displays of affection? Would they keep it in their smials? And, courting rituals/things considered romantic, what do you think that would look like? I've read that going on walks and eating food/feeding each other are pretty classic for hobbits, and also building gardens are pretty big proposals/wedding gifts, are there any other traditions you headcanon or have seen yourself? Thank you so much for having this, it helps a lot;-; expect to see more of me in the future lol!

💐 ASK ME about my headcanons about hobbits and the Shire! 💐

Ah, dearest gentle reader! Welcome to my inbox! I am so glad you have found your way to my humble abode. Have a seat, have some tea and seed cake, and make yourself at home, for in honor of the new season of Bridgerton, we shall talk about love, courtship, and marriage in the Shire! (@konartiste, I think you'll enjoy the Bridgerton parallels)

First things first. I base what I imagine to be true on Tolkien's own portrayal of the hobbits as a caricature of British country dwellers in the early 20th century. I will derive my answers from both book-canon and movie-canon.

Let’s begin with your question about whether hobbits are shy and conservative. If we go off the early 20th century rural Britain hypothesis, then the answer is yes and no. There are certainly higher standards of propriety than we are used to in our society; however, by dint of being rural and closer to the earth so to speak, they are more relaxed than, say, the denizens of a city like Minas Tirith. For instance, premarital sex is generally frowned upon, but since there are many cozy barns, haystacks, and woods, as well as dark corners in sprawling smails, you can bet that it happens anyway, and everyone knows it, but does not speak of it except in whispers.

Similarly, there is friendship and courtship, and men and women share many daily tasks and mingle easily, but there is nothing like casual dating as we understand it. Courtship almost always has marriage in mind -- which is why Rosie was unhappy with Sam for making her wait so long: if you do not see yourself marrying someone, you simply remain friends or move on, and it is improper and disrespectful to do otherwise. In addition, with regard to public displays of affection, there are at least two instances of hobbits kissing in public in The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit movies, so walking hand in hand and a light kiss here and there are probably acceptable, but certainly nothing more than that -- or else the old ladies minding their carts at the market will have a thing or two to say to your momma. (Pronounced mom-MAH).

Now, speaking of mommas, let's move on to the topic of marriage.

Based on Tolkien's family trees in the appendices of Lord of the Rings, it seems that hobbits marry only once, since there are no documented remarriages that I know of, and since hobbits are hardy and live long lives in a peaceful land of plenty, young widows and widowers are likely rare. So to answer your question about whether hobbits have multiple partners, I'm afraid I don't know where that notion comes from. Certainly, it is likely that they court multiple people in search for a love match, but it seems that once they marry, they typically marry for life. Indeed, hobbit marriages are often so successful precisely because they marry for love. Everyone in the Shire, even those of more modest means, generally have everything they need, and hobbits are not overly ambitious, so marrying for resources or protection or to climb the social ladder is not very common -- at least, those are not the main reasons for getting married, but rather a nice side-benefit.

That said, however, marriage is still considered a boon and a virtue, and most hobbits seek to get married, with bachelors and spinsters being uncommon. (Tolkien said so himself). As a result, there is something of a thriving marriage mart in the Shire, to help along those who are unable to find a mate by their own means.

The marriage mart, of course, is a far cry from that of Bridgerton in its glamor, but it does consist of a network of well-meaning mommas who talk among themselves and decide which young people might make a good match, and seek to introduce them to one another. This may involve inviting the prospective partner and their parent(s) over for tea, and having the young people socialize in that setting first, and as time goes on, encouraging them to spend more time together. In addition, the selfsame mommas often organize dinners, dances, and other festivals around Midsummer, the Harvest Festival, and Yule, and those lively occasions are unofficial opportunities for young people to dance, eat, and meet partners they would not otherwise encounter.

In general, there are three social classes in the Shire -- with the distinction between them being not-too-rigid: the working class (people like the Gamgees and the Cottons, who work the land or have a trade), the middle-class (families like the Bagginses: wealthier, conformists, may be involved in more intellectual work such as law or medicine) and the upper/ruling classes (the Tooks and Brandybucks, roughly equivalent to titled nobles, who can be as quirky as they please). Each class has its own events, and while they are not strictly segregated and it is not uncommon for the likes of Bilbo of the Old Took to have a party and invite everyone, there is generally more mingling between the upper and middle classes, and they are correspondingly more likely to marry each other.

Now, when it comes to courting on the way to marriage, there are two ways that it might begin..

At times, there is a parent (usually a momma) putting forth a child as a candidate for courtship, in which case there is the custom of inviting a prospective partner and their parent (again, usually a momma) to a meal at one's house -- or coming over to their house with food. The party initiating the courtship is the one who brings the food, and usually it is made by the prospective partner to showcase their skills as a potential spouse. After that, the other party is expected to reply with an invitation in kind -- or not. If they don't wish to court any further, they simply send a kind thank you note, but no reciprocal invitation. That way, everyone is on the same page, but nobody loses face.

And then, on the other hand, there is the self-initiated courtship, which is generally less structured. The only universally accepted signal is to ask your prospective partner to Go For A Walk. Being asked for a walk is the equivalent to being asked on a date in our world, and can generally be initiated by either party, though men are of course more often the ones to make the first move. Of note, the walk by definition cannot have a specific destination, except after a few "ordinary" walks, the courting couple might choose to have a picnic -- this would be the equivalent of going on a fancy dinner in our world. A walk with a picnic at its conclusion may also accompany milestone events, such as anniversaries or a formal marriage proposal.

Which brings me to our last topic -- the question of engagements and weddings. This can certainly be a post onto itself, so I'll try to keep it brief. I certainly agree that a garden can be an excellent engagement or wedding present, but in addition to this, hobbits do usually exchange smaller gifts of some kind as a token of their commitment: most often pieces of jewelry, either heirloom or made to order. This transcends all social classes. In general, hobbits do not use rings, because they do use their hands quite a bit at the very least for cooking, but choker style necklaces for women, and bracelets or lapel pins for men are quite common. As for the family's wedding presents, both sides strive to help the young couple set up house, and the wedding planning is a collaborative effort. Weddings generally take place in the summer, since a mass of flowers is nothing short of obligatory. Gifts are formally presented and speeches abound, and one challenge that comes with "unequal" marriages is that one side may be embarrassed if their gifts seem paltry in comparison. As a result, it is not uncommon, if there is an unequal marriage, for the more wealthy side to give the less wealthy side some funds to get more suitable gifts.

(As a fun bonus and a shameless plug, check out this excerpt my fic about the Shire's efforts at matchmaking Frodo!)

[sualne]

hii! honeslty just curious, I read/watched kuroshitsuji AGES ago and I don't think I've finished the manga anyway, does grell go by she/her?? I vageuly remember ppl headcanonning them as enby though iirc in canon he's a guy?

Your tags peaked my curiosity, I haven't seen any Kuro content in a hot minute, but I remember it being the absolute must watch in my peak anime watching years lol And I absolutely loved the manga's artstyle

in canon grell is a trans woman, yana toboso has said something like "grell is a man with a woman's heart" ages ago and sometimes around 2014/16 had tweeted something about wanting to be more careful with her representation of people like grell in the future, don't quote me on that thought because i only read that tweet once and only remember reading a shitty screenshot of a translation of that interview where she allegedly said that.

i can however show you this:

it's from a bonus chapter (after chapter 108) about the popularity polls (it's a very convoluted non canon chapter) but it's one of the most blatant example of her being trans.

there's also the way she constantly refers to herself as a "young maiden" ect. idk how it goes exactly in the og but in french they translated it so grell always refers to herself with feminine terms while everyone else misgender her including the narrator. she very consistently reaffirm herself as a woman through every single ones of her appearances, like it's a thing she very much does, every single time she's on screen.

i haven't watched the anime in forever (cause it's kind of a disgrace and insult to the manga lol) but if i remember properly (which i mostly likely don't) they did omit/lowkey censor some of grell explicitly going "i wish i had been born a woman/could have been able to carry children" when she first properly introduce herself as a shinigami & the other half of jack the killer. (the anime also really did lean a lot more into the pervert queer caricature whereas in the manga she's given a bit more dignity, especially the further the story goes. though that might be my own impression and maybe it didn't change that much i just love her a whole lot).

also because i have to, please forget the anime (the first two seasons that is) and read the manga first and foremost because oh boy, what a disaster the anime is (nostlagia and atmosphere wise it's entertaining, i really love the op & ed, but it just, i just cant man it doesn't even compare to the manga at all). only watch book of circus -> book of murder -> campania movie -> the new private school arc that's coming soon (idk what they called it) after reading the manga.

[wildglitch]

A long Side tangent for the WIZ!Spidey x DCU AU

A longish post on what I think happened to the other dimension travelers. This is gonna be semi canon with the other heros! Timeline I sometimes mention. This means some of what I say is canon, some might be subject to change, while others I have decided to write total bs for.

And YK what the best part is? You get to figure out which one is which :D

Since this is gonna be focusing on a lot of other characters that aren't Peter, this is gonna be a bit longer so the characters can get at least one paragraph to them.

This is mostly gonna be off the top of my head since I only know what happens to Loki, T'challa and Bruce. The others I'm gonna figure out as we go, so we are doing this together

Anyways- let's start.

-Ok so lets break this into sections

Main canon: the one every post is talking about unless I say otherwise. Yk, the main au

Other Heros: the au where I add characters that didn't show up in the show, but canonically they do exist in the main MCU timeline so theoretically they could also survive. Yk, the Daredevil au I wrote a bit about where everyone dies, this is if they live

Absolut BS: Is there gonna be bs in the other sections? Yes. Is there gonna be anything serious in this one? Absolutely not. This is for those sweet non canon MCU characters. I try to stick to canon as much as possible, but sometimes I get an idea so good I wanna add it, but refuses cause I gotta lay in the bed I made for myself (it's fine lol). This is for stuff we know aren't canon or are very heavily implied not to be in the MCU. Yk, for funsies, (and cause team red is missing its degenerate, yes Im weak Im sorry! Deadpool you still aint canon to this until your movie comes out! You too Logan!)

With those out of the way, lets start of with the

Main Canon

-So, starting off simple are the people on the ship. T'achalla in my opinion, looking at the movies, is weaker than Peter. And since Peter dies in most of his crashes if there is no interference, the answer is clear to see. After all, the black guy always dies first :^

...MOVING ON-

No, uhh, to not just leave it like that cause, yes, it's sad- I like to think that if he dies then his ancestors and powers let him transcend a bit to the point of minor godhood. Meaning that if there were ever a godly meeting the avatars had to attend to, Peter would be in for a big surprise

-Scott, wtf happened to you bro-

He survives due to the fact he had the cloak of levitation, he has no clue what happened and due to his lower weight, gets blown away by the wind, never to be seen again. So sad

...anyways he ended up in a box-

No clue how he got there. He just knows that one minute he was disoriented as hell in the sky, the next he's stuck in some crate in some magic labyrinth with no hope of rescue. Long story short, he's stuck there for many, many months.

Scott: How Am I Still Alive!?

-Bruce is the Hulk when he gets chucked into the DCU, he's also at an old abandoned military base...why are there people here?

Ya so, apparently the abandoned base he was Hulking out at against a bunch of Zombies, wasn't so abandoned in the DCU. In Fact it's one of, if not the most top secret base there is in the U.S military. So imagine with me, this X foot tall green beast appears out of nowhere and is in some sort of rampage at this super secure military base. You're welcome, I just put Bruce on the Villains list. I can see a few JL members or maybe some YJ kids showing up and dealing with him. And since we know that Hulk is sentient enough to make friends and enemies, Hulk is sent to some top of the line prison while Bruce is unconscious in the back seat. The JL try to interrogate him, but they only get vage half formed sentences about being weak (not a good look) people (Valkyrie, his best bro, is very much missed) and a mission (protect spider...Batman filed that one away for later)

-Bucky...Ha! No

I've proven to myself that I like his character enough to make him important to Peter's Character and the Plot (since when is there plot-) so Ima save him for another post.

-Thor (+Rocket and Groot)

These 3 didn't get split up, Surprisingly. They end up traveling through Africa (yes, the whole thing) trying to find their way back. Thor in his depressive state, keeps fighting and trying to find a way to his brother, since he could tell that whatever happened to them, it happened because of Loki.

Rocket and Groot are just there, since they're aliens who have never been to Earth before, they are just treating it like that. Though they do know something happened and they aren't really in the same place as before, they aren't struggling as much as the Earth natives. Thor is also having an easier time, but he keeps forgetting he isn't well known here. It's actually a bit refreshing.

Think of it like a road trip DnD adventure as they travel through Africa then Europe then Asia, trying to find his brother but having no clue where to go. Saving people and gaining a sort of reputation as “That nice aussie that saves people'' alongside “The raccoon and Groot” (Everyone loves Groot)

Rocket Is a good dad and is just there protecting Groot and scamming people. And Groot discovers the internet. They continue to save people because that's what they did with their family, so they will continue to do that even if they can tell it's just the two of them again.

-Loki, my God…you sneaky shit-

When I tell you, Loki dropped in the middle of a league meeting. Im telling you, he dropped in the MIDDLE OF A LEAGUE MEETING! JL Light, JL Dark, YJ, the Titans, literally everyone was there! Why? 1. The league has a yearly meeting where they try to get every superhero team and hero esc people in the room so they can touch base. 2. Loki's magic…scared the hell out of them. The meeting was really soon and all of a sudden they get a really strong magic signature tearing reality apart? Yeah, they are gonna move the meeting up by a week to see what the heck is going on. Only for this British fuck to drop onto the table just ozzing out the energy they where Looking for. Yeah, you can bet all hell broke loose. 

Loki gets locked in a cell on the tower as they try to figure out who he is, but they have absolutely no experience with his realitys magic so they can't get anything off of him. Some of the more godly inclined (Captain Marvel) can tell that he's a god from another universe, but comes to the conclusion that it's best to just let things play out. 

Loki:...

CM:...

Loki: you’re quite the interesting child

CM: nOPE! You’re on your own. Good luck with that.

The hero's try interrogating him, trying to find out what he wants, and Loki is just like “nuh uh” and is just enjoying his time in his cell like the chaos god he is. Obviously he's playing all of them and getting info off of every single one of them, figuring out slowly where the other people could be and sending Peter to investigate the leads. Could he escape? Absolutely, he has walked to the kitchen more times than he cares to mention. Will he leave? No, he is in the most strategically useful place at the moment so he will stay there screwing with Batman until the League get bored of interrogating him. There are moments where they think he means no harm, and while that is true, it also means they might kick him from the tower, and he can't have that. Besides, scaring the Flash in front of everyone to keep his danger status is just so much fun.

And that everyone that should be in the Main Canon, onto

Canon Divergents: Other Heros.

Ok, so I like to think, personally, that everyone on this list died a horrible gruesome death before the episode started. But I can tell that some people like to keep them alive, and what is this if not just us having fun right? So this is a little “what if '' of the “what if ''. I don't know why they weren't in the episode, maybe they left, maybe they thought they were dead, maybe they were on another mission, who knows, you choose. But like I said, this is for fun so I’ll let you lil’ brains figure it out.

Lets start of with

-Kamala Khan. Ok so with this, Ima play with the timeline again. We never get confirmation if she blipped or not, but I don't think so(correct me if I'm wrong). So looking at her age I’d say she's around 16? In the year 2024 (holy shit thats this year-) so in 2018 when the blip/ the episode happened she would have been 10-11

You see my vision? Little 10 year old Kamala was possibly one of the youngest kids of the group, so her getting chucked into the DCU can only land her in one place. Foster care. You can make the argument that months of zombies made her jaded and able to survive the apocalypse and thus the streets considering I gave her the bangles. But I honestly think she was found right away and protected by everyone because of her age no matter the fact she has the bangle. She’s so small, it doesn't even fit her right. I think she's still a sweet, excitable little girl that is traumatized, but spent most of her time at the base being protected and cheering the others up.

 So, her being this excitable and happy gets placed into many foster homes. But she also has trauma and issues so the family realizing she's not an “easy” kid sends her back, moving her around a lot. I can totally see Peter actually finding her but the only thing keeping him from getting to her is the constant address changes and his lack of funds. 

-Darcy Lewis is truly in her 2 broke girls era as she takes the Identity of “Max” and starts working at a shitty Cafe.

-Moon Knight system

Remember how I said that only Jake was present for the Zombie Apocalypse? Well-

M: 8 MONTHS!?

S: Where are we!

M: 8 months!

S: What happened?

M: 8. Months.

S: Why weren't we here! Wait as second we- who are you 2?!

M: 8. Months…

S: Ahhhhhhhhh

J: *end me now* ( o_o)

Ya so instead of them trying to find the others, the 3 of them are actually trying to learn how to live with each other. The multiple Identities and accents are throwing Peter off

-Barton children

Ok Ima rapid fire this

Lila: somehow ends up with the arrows and being her fathers daughter, shows them up. Artimist likes her a lot

Cooper: He ends up in (you decide) city, and being his mothers son, starts doing some spy shit trying to find the others.

Nathen: lil’ baby somehow showed up at the Kents farm instead of his, and they sort of just …*adopt*. He's good friends with Jon.

Bonus points: Pizza dog is found as a Puppy by the kid and adopted as “emotional support” and “I must protect this poor dog, he doesn't have an eye for pete's sake!”

(These can not all happen, you gotta pick one kid for your hc cause I refuse to let all of the kids live no matter the au. The angst potential is the best part people)

-Last but not least Matt

He was found by a Church, the church sent him to the hospital, the hospital called him insane and sent by a psych ward, the psych ward said nope and sent him to arkham. He's pissed about it but like the reasonable guy he is, understands. Lots of the guys in there call him a “wanna be batman”.

He has no clue who that is but he is deeply offended.

I can totally see Peter finding him within a few days of looking and just going to visit him under the guise that he's his son. 

Peter:...

Matt: …

Peter: *glare*

Matt: soooo, how have you been?

Peter: I Thought You Were Dead!

Peter cant get Matt out cause Matt keeps beating the other rouges up. Peter is so done with his shit and Matt regrets nothing. That 2 face piece of shit had it coming.

Bonus point for the Batfam finding out Peter’s “Father” is in arkham. Just Bruce and Matt having the most awkward silent meeting. Neither talk for like 15 minutes at first. It's glorious.

+Miles morales. Oh you thought I was done? Tf I am! He's canon to the MCU so I’m rolling with it. Timeline wise, I’d say he's about 6-8 years old give or take. He can either A: get the spider powers and survives just like Peter until they find him, and Peter taking him under his wing, or B: im being the only person Peter could save because…idk, maybe he was having a confrontation with Aaron at his apartment and it turns out Miles was there cause he wanted to go trick or treating with him and is wearing a spiderman custom, awww, and kinda awkward for the two (mostly Aaron). Zombies come in, and Aaron sends Miles with Peter because yk, good Uncle. Yeah that works-

Miles' face is planted right in the center of brooklyn and like the good boy he is, waits for someone he knows to find him, (if lost, wait at the spot you are until they find you). He tells people his guardian is Peter Parker, but since Peter is going under a different allies, they can't find him. But Miles is determined and decides that he needs to stay In Queens so that Peter can find him, he knows he will.

And that wraps up that part which leads us to

Total Bull Shit

Yep, this is for those sweet non MCU canon characters. (No other fandom ones though, I haven't fallen that far from grace) (with this au at leasts)

These are just for the sillies and won't be canon unless they somehow become canon to the MCU (*stares intensely at Deadpool and Wolverine* sooooon)

-Wade Wilson

We all have seen the trailers ok, I see him, he's coming, we have all waited for this. And not only is he coming to the MCU but his reasoning works really well with this fic. He's crossing dimensions to fix the timeline and shit and he somehow gets chucked into this storyline as he's doing it. With his awesome fourth wall breaks, I can just see him showing up in Gotham for a bit, causing shit, and breaking Matt out of Arkham because he wants to do the Team Red thing. I can totally see him being super excited about meeting his first spidey lol. And Peter and Matt are just in a constant state of “wtf” as they deal with this guy that is apparently from the same multiverse and Universe(?) as them. Also, apparently it shouldn't even be possible for them to be in this universe, so that's fun

They warm up to each other and end up having a bit of fun I swear. He wont stay for long cause I can see this as being like a quick side plot in both the AU and the movie as he tries to get back to whatever he's doing.

-Logan. He's there for like a Minute, he gets there trying to get wade back to whatever they are doing, and ends up getting stuck too. Peter and Matt help them get back to whatever they were doing and when they offer a way back to their home, they say no for a number of reasons. Logan still ends up giving them a dimension hopping thing just in case.

-Andrew!Spidey from the main timeline NWH. Techincally hes canon, but hes also kinda owned by Sony so ima let this slide. Hes there for like just a minunte ok- he gets pulled into Deadpools And Wolverings Shit and decides “Fuck it, we ball” and helps the out. He sees little WIZ!Peter and thinks, “Holy shit, I just saw you!” and tells Peter about the weird shit he just went through with the other version of him and Peter is just amazed. Like “wow, a world where my friends are alive, a world where no Zombies came and destroyed the lives of the people I love. A world where I got to have more time with aunt May….must be nice”

Sorry-

Also- *has flashbacks to Andrew Garfield and Ryan Renolds kissing and the canonical list of people Deadpool is allowed to cheat with. ( o_o)

DP: heya hot stuff

A!S: No.

DP: yes

Wiz!P: Wtf is happening

DD: Look away kid

*Deadpool and Spidey comic dynamic of full display*

-Harry Osborn.

Peter: Hey Harry, who are those guys?

Harry: idk, my dad is working with these biochemists for a company from Russia. I think the name was some Greek monster? I don't really care. 

Peter: Oh ok, I'm gonna say hi to them

Harry: Sure, but be mindful of the creatures they’re working on

Peter: Got it!

Boom there’s your origin story. Peter just wanted to say hi to the nice looking Hydra agent and Harry let him.

Could we have him be hobgoblin alongside Peter when they are in gotham? Sure. Have it be like a nice spider that does no harm and his mean goblin bodyguard. Except it's the spider who can truly kick your ass. Also, just the absolut drama these 2 can have with each other is just *chefs kiss*

-Gwen Stacy

Just- just Gwen dude. Maybe she's from the DCU and they have a meet cute at a coffee shop. Maybe Peter Meets this super cute girl hiding out in a lab in the middle of the apocalypse. Maybe she's dead. Idk, idc, I love Gwen’s and Peter’s dynamic in TASM movies and I can see a traumatized dark humor version with these 2. Just give Peter his Girlfriend pls 

-Johnny Storm is one of Peter's best superhero friends in the comics. Spidey's first appearance is also in a FF comic, so it just feels right. Just integrate that into the story and you're golden. I can see them having inside jokes and stuff no one will ever get cause “you had to be there”.

-Nova, because I'm pulling from my experience with the 2012 show. No, I bring him in because I think it could add not only to Peter's character but also rockets and groots, considering they just heard the Xandar was destroyed, and all of a sudden they find this kid with an old bucket. They’re gonna get some feels, small as they might be.

Also, the ultimate 2012 team may have treated Peter like shite, but with better writing and stuff, these 2 could have been good friends. Sadly that doesn't really translate that well in the show imo.

Uhhhhh, anyone else for this monster of a post? No. Ok cool-

Idk when I'm gonna post the next part of the main lore stuff, but I'm gonna post this and some DC p.o.v's to flesh out some stuff. I might also post a bit of art and another fic in between the posts.

This is too long- have fun with this while I go pass out for a bit lol

[goodluckclove]

ok ok ok Clove i need to know: who are some of the best writers here in your opinion ? who do i need to follow if i want to follow the next generation of great writers ? i need new blogs to follow

oh shit let's party.

first off i can't say that i know all the best writers here. i'm still learning! also, maybe i like things you don't. the usual disclaimer. but i'll still take the chance to rave about some of the immense brilliance of some of my colleagues on here!

first of is @ivaspinoza, who is the first person to send me her writing the very first time i asked. she writes the most beautiful, almost prophetic word pieces. not quiet prose, not entirely poetry. it's language you can really seep yourself in like a heated milk bath. she's working on a longform vampire novel in the same style which i have seen snippets of and it is truly incredible. love her dearly.

i'm actually in the middle of Song of the Heartless by @rkmoon, because he was hesitating to post it and i harassed him into sending it to me. and oh man, it's great. really solid premise and a world that feels vibrant and expansive and also shit because it's kind of dystopian and the vibes are not great. obviously as another aspec writer i love the representation. it's great to read yourself on the page and still see your struggles draped in thematic excitement. i can't say any more without spoiling it but i really want to. this could easily be a fucking great movie adaptation.

i feel insane pointing you towards @godsmostfuckedupgoblin because he doesn't really post his writing as far as i know but he's got some of the best mastery of dialogue i've seen in non-published writing and his excerpts are always so exciting and fun to read. maybe if enough people him to share more he will but until then his memes are lit as a child has once said before.

@stajorathefallen is working on a longform Lord of the Rings fic that is truly beautiful. I would rather read this finished product than the actual Lord of the Rings. I don't know if she'll find that a compliment or a war crime, but it's just nicer. It feels warm and cozy to read. I actually don't even know if it's referenced the original canon at all since I saw the movies but didn't pay attention. I was not qualified to look at this fic but I got to anyway and it's great.

@cssnder is someone else who doesn't post enough writing, but my hope is with enough confidence she'll branch more into sharing. Literally every time she drops a line everyone's like huh?? wow!! and then she whispers a thanks and disappears back into the catacombs. if you like dark academia based on tiktok you should follow her to see what those tiktoks wish they could capture.

this is obviously not everyone. these are not even all the people that sent me writing to look at. i have two separate emails that i still need to marry, some people are still in the egg-cracking stage of being a writer, and my adderal can only do so much. if you aren't one of these people just know that you are amazing and you need to post more of your work so i can point people to your page please thank you i love you.

[seasaltcosmos]

hi :) i dont follow anyone on tumblr who really loves the sonic movies and i need to yap about something so im telling you bc you seem to like them

i watched sonic 3 like a week ago and i havent seen anyone talk about robotnik and maria's relatioship and the implications also in gonna say robotnik for the grandson and gerald for the grandpa so its not too confusing

we know that both maria and robotnik are gerald's grandkids. I don't think that we know how many kids gerald had (in the movie canon) but i think he only had one. It's really just a headcanon but i think that if gerald was in charge of maria it was because her bio parents either died or left and robotnik clearly didnt know he had a grandpa (everyone has one but he didnt know it was gerald) so it means he has never met him before. So either robotnik's parents cut contact with gerald (valid) or he and maria are siblings but they didnt grow up together because gerald didnt adopt robotnik (for some reason)

Also side note but i think maria and robotnik are around the same age. Like obviously we only see robotnik as an adult and maria dies young but she dies 50 years before present day and in the present, robotnik is quite old. i would say that hes maximum 5-8 years younger than maria. So if she died as a teen (maybe around 14-16) then robotnik would have already been born. which means that they could have met before she died. But they didnt because maria was under gerald's care and robotnik had never met him before. So an other option to the "gerald has only 1 kid" headcanon is that maria's parents left her when she was really young to be taken care of by gerald and then they later had another child (robotnik) but by that point they were not in contact with gerald anymore

Also i think that it could maybe explain a bit more the "oh ivo, you'Re no maria" line. Obviously that line already makes sense because gerald raised maria and watched her die and he cared about her a whole lot more but maybe he also has a misdirected hate toward robotnik because he is the son of his kid who cut contact with him.

And also last side note, i also headcanon that gerald's kid was a girl. it would explain why he was so attached to maria. she was just like his kid and he got to raise her like he raise her mom before. and that little extra attachment wasnt present with robotnik because he's a guy.

anyway i hope that my rambling wasnt too confusing and didnt sound insane :) i hope you have a great day and thanks for reading

i'm touched you decided to yap to ME of all people, first of all ;w;

second of all YEEEEESSSSSSSS I'VE BEEN THINKING ABT THE ROBOTNIK FAMILY EVER SINCE I SAW THE MOVIE like!!! when robotnik said in the first movie he's an orphan??? WHAT HAPPENED TO HIS PARENTS

[sugarygxodness]

i know hobie age discourse is annoying and frustrating. i've been watching from the sidelines ever since atsv came out and tiktok is being absolutely insufferable about it. i've also seen the plethora of arguments from both sides about it. but i wanted to put in my two cents about hobie's age because it has been yelling for attention inside my heart and i need an outlet for it desperately.

so here is my official warning. ⚠️ if you don't want anything to do with the hobie age discourse, please ignore this post ⚠️ (i doubt anyone is going to see this post anyway)

first of all, i ship punkflower. i respect chaipunk as well, though i do not ship it. when i was watching atsv, it never occured to me that hobie would be older than the spidergang by any more than 2 years. so it boggles my mind that people left their theatre thinking hobie was any older than 19 years old??

second, as i've mentioned, i have seen the plethora of arguments coming from both sides. i have heard (incessantly) about the director talking about early concept hobie being 19/20 years old. i always always take early concepts with a grain of salt because that is what they are - early concepts. from the conception of the spiderverse trilogy, a lot of stuff can change. we know that even though early concept hobie was 19/20 years old, his age is now "up for interpretation". all of us were not in the writing room when they came up with hobie. none of us can say for sure what hobie's age is. so let's leave it at that - hobie's age is up for interpretation. i have also seen people talking about hobie being bitten at 16 years old in the comics and in the movies he says he has been spiderman for 3 years. quick maths - that makes hobie 19? well, maybe. it is also important to note that movie adaptations of comics very often leave out or change information. they do this all the time. they even did it with miles. in the comics, miles morales gets bitten at the age of 13. but in the movies, miles get bitten when he was a freshman in visions academy, 15 years old. if they changed that fact about miles from the comics to the movie adaptation, who's to say they did not do the exact same thing to hobie or any other character? using comic book canon to apply to movie canon is always iffy. across the mcu, there are many many comic details that get changed or left out for the movies. this is just something i want everyone to keep in mind.

third, this is my main point. i'm going to talk about hobie's age from a storytelling point of view. keep in mind, i am not a writer. i do not have any experience writing or making original characters. i just like overanalysing creative aspects of media that i consume and i also briefly studied literature in school. if there is anything you would like to counter about my upcoming argument or add to it, i would love to see it.

from a storytelling point of view, hobie being old than 18 years old makes absolutely NO sense. if we look at miles' conflict during atsv, his whole thing is that he feels betrayed by the adults in his life because all of them view him as this incapable clueless kid who needs to be protected. his parents, while being unaware of his identitiy as spiderman, are too protective of him and doubt everything that he does. while they eventually start to accept the idea of letting their child grow up, they only start doing so when miles is already stuck in another universe. the adults in the spider society betray miles too. miles, upon meeting more spiderpeople, probably thought that they would understand him more than his own parents could. however, the adults in spider society still look down on him and treat him like a child. this is especially evident in peter b, who constantly emphasises that miles "doesn't know any better". miles is 16 (in atsv) and while that IS technically a child, those rules don't really apply to spiderpeople. after all, though he is technically a child, he watched his uncle aaron die right in front of his eyes, he saved the multiverse, and he saves brooklyn from crime every single day. as unfortunate as it is, miles has had to grow up a lot faster than the average kid. miles views himself as an extremely capable spiderman, but it feels like nobody else agrees with him. that is miles' conflict throughout atsv.

so it makes no sense that miles feels constantly betrayed by the adults in his life, yet one of the members of the spidergang that he is surrounded with in atsv is an adult? the whole point is that he feels he cannot depend on the adults in the spider society, so therefore it makes sense that his closest allies (gwen, pav, hobie) would be teenagers. making hobie an adult completely throws this theme out of balance.

furthermore, i hear people say hobie holds a mentor role in miles' life. i disagree. peter b held a mentor role in itsv. this was when miles was newly bitten, had no idea how to use his new powers, and had just lost the only other spiderman he knew. in atsv, miles has grown very well into his role as spiderman. he developed his own spiderman techniques, learned how to use his venom shock and invisibility in an effective way, and successfully saves brooklyn from crime every day. this miles does not need a mentor. this miles feels betrayed by the people he thought he could trust. this miles needs allies. that is what hobie is to miles in atsv.

to me, the r/s between hobie and miles in atsv is very reminiscent of the r/s between a new transfer student in highschool and an upperclassman. imagine this - miles just moved to a new unfamiliar environment and is a transfer student in a highschool where he knows nobody. hobie spots him, somehow decides to help him out, and gives him the ultimate tour of the school. not the proper "this is the gymnasium, we hold our pep rallies here" tour that the student council body would give miles. nah, his tour is more like "this is the best place to smoke weed without getting caught. this bathroom is almost exclusively for hooking up. this teacher once called me out for plagiarism, so he sucks." then he pats miles on the shoulder and tells him that he's got his back. if anyone tried to give him shit, hobie will not hesitate to make their lives hell. this is how i interpret hobie and miles' r/s in atsv. he is not a mentor!!! miles is capable enough to be spiderman without a mentor!!!

lastly, this isn't exactly my place to talk about it, but i have heard a lot of black people talk about how a lot of people place harmful stereotyping and adultification on hobie. and the infuriating tendency for people to be against poc ships rather than white ships. and that is A LOT of food for thought. that's all :)

i ended up writing a lot more than i thought i would. clearly i care too much. oh well atsv brainrot era go brrr

[resurgentclass-stardestroyer]

hello hi!! omg I just discovered your blog and I can't believe that I hadn't really known about it before?? I think maybe I had seen some of your posts but like hadn't gone to the source?? (ngl I've been here for a couple years and I'm still not great at using tumblr lmao 😅) ANYWAY I am so glad that I finally did bc holy shit your blog is amazing!!!!!!

I'm honestly just starting to scroll though, but it's so fantastic how much canon material you've archived from various sources! I'm always looking for new Hux-adjacent material and you have so much here I'm in awe! (also I've always liked Mitaka too but I think I'm now discovering a serious interest in him bc of the stuff you've posted about him!)

I've been a Hux girlie (gender neutral) since I saw tlj in theaters and tbh he's my og Special Little Guy. even when I rotate through other interests, I come back around to him, and it's so cool to see that there's other folks still out there who also like the character since it feels like a bit of the fandom has kind of faded (which I totally get)

um anyway sorry for this long and rambling message 😅 I just wanted to let you know how cool your blog is and that I'll probably be liking and reblogging a bunch of stuff in the next couple days so I deeply apologize if I spam your notifs (and if you would prefer I don't do that also just let me know!)

thank you so much for all the info and headcanons and meta and everything that you've brought together here! ☺️💕

(oh and this is @charlottesbookclub lol I just can't send asks from there bc it's not my main so if you see that account interacting that's me lol)

🥹 this is nicest thing you could possibly ever say to me

I'm so happy someone else is getting enjoyment out of the stuff I post! I have a mission to bring these snippets of canon out into the open because I think there's so much to Hux's character that isn't present/obvious in the movies, and thus a majority of it will be missed by casual fans. There's many moving parts to Hux's life that get glanced over but are so integral to him — Sloane, Brendol, Armitage's childhood, the Empire, the rise and fall of the First Order, the state of the Galaxy's economy, politics, technology...

I want everyone to see that Hux isn't just the 'haha funny evil hotheaded military man' that the movies present, but a wonderfully deep, tragic character as a whole — even with all the flaws of sequel-trilogy writing. And that's why we love him.

And I'm only barely just started. My "to-read" list is a bit ridiculous and I'm a chronically slow reader. My dream is to one day somehow have some sort of comprehensive post of all of Hux's core traits and history, but that's far off....

No problem with like/reblog spamming 😊

[chocostrawberrysunday]

Encanto as an allegory

Have any other history enthusiasts noticed the similiarities between Encanto's story and the fall of the USSR? [SPOILER WARNING]

So, first things first, I wanna make clear right away that I am well aware this was not at all intentional, and that I may very well be looking too far into this, or making a bit of a stretch. But I wanted to share it anyway, because noone on Reddit seems to care about my idea. Now, I've seen a few different potential similarities or paralells, but here are the ones that come to mind first. Let me know if you think of more, or if you want to hear some of the other ones I have thought of in the past. So, first of all, both Encanto and the communist block were isolated communities walled off from the rest of the world, with an opressive leader that seemed to rule for life, and only cared about how much people could get done or what work they could do, and not about the people themselves. Meanwhile, Mirabel is Gorbachev, a bespectacled oddball who sees how bad things have gotten, and tries to make everyone's life better, but destroys the establishment in the process. Isabela and Mirabel's relationship could be seen as analagous to that of the United States and Russia at this time, very hostile, very toxic, and always fighting, but never directly. And then at the end of the movie, just before the countr- err, the house, collapses, they make peace and improve relations between both of them. And when the house fell apart, everyone got booted out except 2 people, Mirabel, Bruno, and Julieta. Bruno busted out, and Mirabel ended up grabbing the candle, which extinguished in her hand, and then left herself. And when everyone came back, the town worked with them to rebuild another house that didn't need the candle to run, which implies that the candle was communism in this analogy. So ya, this is probably a bit of a stretch, or as I said before, me looking too far into a silly story about magic Colombians and generational family trauma. But hey, that's the beauty of a story like this, it can be used and reinterpreted in many ways. This is just one of my favorite non-canon ones. But lemme know your thoughts in the notes.

[adultswim2021]

HIGH-ATE-US

Hey, everyone. It's me, your erstwhile blogster. Sorry or not updating this blog for months. Things got "real weird", as they like to say in the UK. But now is the time to resume my bad life's bad work: blogging about all of Adult Swim (within reason). Umm... here we go! (I am doing an insulting gay-voice when I italicize)

It is thanksgiving. I cooked myself a nice big steak and decided to get high for the first time in a while. Really! It has actually been a while! I mostly just been doing low-dose THC CBD gummies to manage anxiety, and have not touched my more potent "fun" edibles in months. The CBD ones sorta work? I haven't intentionally highed-myself in a big while, and me being high is your big boon: in this state I have decided to come back here and start posting again. I need to get back into writing. It may still save my life yet... (sigh!)

I am watching old Letterman clips (from 1985; Milos Foreman is talking about god-knows-what). Old Letterman is very soothing to me. It is one of the first shows I ever fell in love with. I am keeping a text list of my favorite bits from a big collection of clips that I cut up into chronological order so one could roughly experience the timewarp effect of watching not only an old thing, but a lot of the same old thing in chronological order as some facsimile of time travel, or express some desire to live a parallel life where I am the same age I currently am now, but it's the 1980s. I can't be a kid again? Okay, fine. But can't I at least continue being an adult in some other time? I have be here RIGHT NOW? NO. THAT SUCKS.

why I'm trying to keep track of my favorite bits have to do with some absolutely delusional idea that I have, where I create some kind of monument to some idea of an all-encompassing television canon that I have. I'm too embarrassed to speak of it in depth, because it is truly loser shit. It isn't exactly this, but it is close to it in some spiritual way: imagine ranking every single comedy sketch you've ever seen. Is there a website that lets you do this.

I yearn for a simpler life where I live an era where physical media perfection was laserdisc, and you had to spend over $100 on a movie if Criterion happens to be the ones releasing it. That is to say, I'm in a pretty good, fairly productive mood. Let's face it: pontification is stimulating, and sadly, it's been a long while since I've felt STIMULATED. Let's take the old thinking cap out for a spin shall weee!

This post is not an episode recap, but it is me catching up on all my mails that piled up during my "real weird" exile. Some messages may be very old/irrelevant and I'm sorry if I can't answer them correctly. I will do my best.

snusuwiwjs asked:

Have you watched Jellystone S3E14 - Space Con?

I saw the RELEVANT CLIPS. This show looks very fun. I haven't been watching it for some reason. Too busy watching old Letterman. I watch stuff that doesn't require me to sit down and ACTIVELY watch it because I moved and don't have a nice big TV yet, because logistical issues persist (I received "TV Money" from my parents in the form of a Target gift card and buying the TV I want from them would require a third party such as u-haul because for some fucked up reason they won't deliver large televisions). I watch everything on a computer monitor, and I stray towards podcast and youtube junk as a result of that.

I have issues with procrastinating, too, so it's taken me this long just to get myself a couch, a laptop table for use with a couch, and a coffee table for nearby supplies and devices. I am in a very slow-moving phase lately. Pray for me that it ends soon. Anyway, I wasn't pissed off about Jellystone recasting Zorak and Moltar, unless they were going to try and have them voice Coast to Coast versions of them.

Sorta related: I have an idea for a Space Ghost finale, that would be in book-form, and I don't know if it'd be inappropriate to try and give the IP-holders in charge the idea for it, and also I think it is lame and embarrassing to have ideas for things like this when you're not actually in charge of this type of decision-making. It makes me almost worse than a fan-fiction writer. I on some level imagine myself in a pitch room saying this stuff, and that is objectively gay.

I am just going to talk about that here, because fuck it. It would be a post show-biz memoir from Space Ghost, at least by the cover that's what it'd look like. Then the memoir part (which is insane and full of very untrue sounding things) ends abruptly, because Space ghost didn't know how to fill up the required page length. So the book switches gears to make up for that, and it becomes an in-character oral history of the show, with the characters talking about the making of the show, focusing on fictional installments of the show, the conceit being that there are episodes of Coast to Coast that never aired on Earth.

Because you're describing all new-episodes, you could get famous people to riff out a fake talk show scenario they supposedly experienced in one of these unseen episodes. The cornerstone of this section of the book will be the characters describing the finale of Coast to Coast. Maybe they honor Toonami canon and have Moltar depart the galaxy, never to be hard from again. Oh yeah the book would also go out of it's way to include this as is the in-universe reason that Moltar's sections in the oral history are all specifically said to be from archival sources and attributed to previous publications, like he wasn't interviewed specifically for the book.

I do not have actual story ideas for this. Just concepts. I am sorry if you thought there'd be more. I am just describing a Space Ghost book that I would be very excited to read. Anyway, that section of the book ends and then there's a series of all-black pages with white text, resembling adult swim bumpers. They read: "Space Ghost and co. are not real. They're not even human; they're cartoons. Some of the things they do would cause a person to get hurt, expelled, arrested, possibly deported. To put it another way: don't try this at home."

Then the rest of the book will be an actual making-of the real show, like an for-real oral history (and there will be glossy pages with cool Space Ghost art and behind-the-scenes photos), and then the cornerstone of THAT section will be a big list of every guest star they could possibly ask or piece together anecdotally what every guest star on the show thought of their episode after it aired. Give Sean Medlock an entire page to vent.

THAT IS MY IDEA FOR A SPACE GHOST BOOK AND I HOPE THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE ACCESS TO THAT PARTICULAR IP READ THIS AND STEAL ALL OF THESE IDEAS (please let me come to one pitch meeting for it)

Here's another from snusuwiwjs!

Oh hey, you watched Barenaked Ladies! Honestly that’s the only GameTap episode I liked. It is also the only one I watched because I got baited by the title. Anyway, you said there was a Fox fakeout promo for Family Guy on Adult Swim, but I don’t think I could find anything? All reuploads only show the Adult Swim bump, so it would be nice if you could show some proof, mister.

Found a reupload here! Barenaked Ladies is the closest the Gametap episodes came to feeling like a real episode.

I’m sorry to jump ahead, but are you keeping up with the apparent falling-out between Eric Andre and his writing partner Dan Curry over Johnny Knoxville? Curry alleges Knoxville tased him like a week into that ABC prank panel show that Knoxville and Andre were part of, causing Curry a broken bone, and Curry further claims Andre told him not to make a big deal about it. He also claims Andre canceled some of their book tour over this dispute.

I didn't know Eric Andre would ever accuse someone of being a drama queen. I have not followed this, I'm not sure I care about it though just sayin!!! I respect you with peace and love but I don't now if I can have an opinion about this. I need to receive a big check from my car insurance before I can start thinking about stuff like that. I am sorry, but some parts of my brain are simply on hold right now.

Another from snusuwiwjs

member the antenna episode of athf? it’s kind of sad how adult swim fucked their employees over, isn’t it? george, clay, andy were often portrayed as living in the dumps and looking for a job, but it isn’t too far from truth, is it?

No it is not far from the truth at all! It is very sad. The elites ruling over us are denying us god's grace and we must become evil and violent towards them soon. I am parroting something frequent mail-bagger KON said to me while chatting in PRIVATE CHANNELS: They really should just do a Jellystone spin-off with that iteration of Brak. Or "The Calarts Brak Show" as he called it. Get Andy out of those trucks. Somebody could get hurt in those things.

simpsons

That's nice slugger... (BIGGEST EYEROLL IN THE UNIVERSE)

From KON, who is actually just a character I do:

it's time for the blog to come back

No Kon! NOT YET

janeane garofalo in the cable guy

I once had a phase where I tried to become a Janeane completist and I watched all of her movies I think up to MATCHMAKER, which was too bad to bear and made me stop doing that. I still love her. I wish that I could meet her. I had a very good chance once and I let it slip by me. I should maybe attend one of her standing-up comedy engagements, if she still does that.

If anybody has a copy of that Mr. Show commercial where she's dressed like a mallrat and mary lynn rajskub does the Macar-anus but it's an actual HQ video taped from TV and not a guy pointing their phone at the TV screen please let me know.

There are a small number of Promos for Mr. Show that have not been collected on DVD. I want them all! GIVE ME THEM! (the series of ones where they jump through paper hoops for season 4, for example). Also I do not have a nice copy of the season 2 best-of, which was supposed to bet put on DVD but wasn't. That's the one where they are doing a news conference.

i have a special late-breaking scoop just for you: Justin Roiland has passed. he's gone, for good. you have my blessing to inform your readers of this JUICY story

Goodbye Justin Roiland! We loved your funny video games and rabble-rousing rhetoric on bluesky. I hope you thrive in him/he-aven

happy "jimmy carter gets to vote for kamala harris day" to those who celebrate. which adult swim chars do you think are cheering him on :)

Everyone in town is expected to turn out

FROM KON:

Blog's gotta be coming back any day now

♪♫ OH, KON... :D ♪♫

[theloopus]

I finally watched mirror image a few minutes ago and I do not know what to say. Your sam in drag video got me to start watching QL a few months ago and by accident I'd also seen it mentioned that Sam never got home while looking up the show, but I didn't care at the time since I didn't know what that even meant. I got through 3 seasons in a month and then a started to slow down because I realized I was running out of episodes, so I slowly got through the fourth season. One I got to the fifth, I had to take a long break. I knew that the episode quality would decline since id seen you mention on Twitter once that you don't even consider them canon, but I was not expecting how difficult it would be to get though. I could only watch ten minutes of each trilogy episode a day, it was unbearable. But I bet you don't really care about all of this so let me get to the point. I had to pause the screen where it said Sam never got home. I don’t know how to feel and I'm so confused. I've looked through the episode wiki and the imdb episode trivia and I still want to know more. Whenever you mentioned stuff about Mirror image on here or on Twitter I always scrolled past it quickly to avoid spoilers, but now I can barely find anything regarding it, so I was wondering if I could hear your thoughts on the episode. Was the bartender God? Did you like Sam's choice to sacrifice his returning home for Al's happiness? Just, what are your thoughts on it? Thank you for introducing me to this wonderful show and these wonderful characters ❤

omg this is so much. i'm gonna put these under a read more because "what are your thoughts on Mirror Image" is a LOADED question with a controversial answer. i am so incredibly normal about Quantum Leap.

first of all i love that "binging the first three seasons like a starving lunatic then slowing down with the fourth because you realize you're gonna run out of episodes and then season 5 is just so bad on top of that you take ages to finish it" is such a universal experience. it truly is just a rough season to get through. which is a shame! and trilogy.... oh trilogy............. what the fuck was that.............

anyway, mirror image is an episode that makes me kind of insane. the thing is that. i don't know how to put this exactly. mirror image is complicated. in my eyes it's

a really, really good and interesting episode

not a at all a satisfying wrap-up for the show

really not a good series finale for the type of show they were trying to make at the time they were making it as tv functioned back then

a perfect finale for the quantum leap that exists in my mind that i've built from the subtext and character beats and unintentional lore/themes/motifs

because quantum leap the tv show from the 80s is a politically liberal, episodic science fiction adventure tv show from the 80s/90s, and the way these sort of tv shows works, there is an unspoken pact with the audience that they should have satisfying, relatively happy endings. romcoms should end with the leads getting together. superhero movies should end with the good guy defeating the bad guy. detective shows should end with the detective catching the criminal. and a tv show in which every episode ends with the good guy succeeding to put right what once went wrong, solving the conflict, and giving everyone a happy ending, should end with the good guy getting a happy ending himself.

but the quantum leap that exists in my mind and i've built from the subtext and character beats and unintentional lore, themes, and motifs is a Tragedy. it's a story about martyrdom, and saints, and sacrifice, and blind faith, and God, and trauma, and being stuck in the past because of that trauma.

Tragedy, as a genre, is characterized by this: the main character is doomed by the narrative from the beginning because of who they are inherently. whereas in another narrative their traits might've been assets, might've helped them succeed, in this narrative, it's what dooms them (ex. Hamlet's indecisiveness vs Juliet's impulsiveness). and, god, i ADORE Sam Beckett as a tragic hero: his defining characteristic is that he's "terminally good—if it was up to you, you'd save everyone!", and i'm obsessed with the use of "terminal" here, because it is that relentless goodness that ends up dooming him. Sam is Jesus, he's Saint Sebastian, he's Joan of Arc. God chose him to be sent on this divine journey, to help people, to save people from their own fates, to save humanity—at the cost of his own humanity, his own life. at the beginning, he says: "i can't have a life, all i do is live someone else's life!" and in Mirror Image he's still clinging to the hope of going home, at first, because he really does want to go home, more than anything. but then his arc is completed when he realizes it: he's never going home. this kind of journey doesn't have an ending. there are always more people to save. you might be able to take the weekends off, but you can't just quit the job of being God's chosen one. and in the end, he was never going to, because the reason why he was chosen is that he's terminally good. that if it was up to him, he'd save everyone. quitting would mean God knows how many people that needed saving won't be saved, and if everything we've been told about Sam is true, he wouldn't be able to live with himself. so he accepts his Celestial role, leaves Al behind with a parting gift, and disappears into the sands of time the way the Little Mermaid throws herself into the ocean and dissolves into seafoam.

the fascinating thing about Sam, actually, is that this terminal goodness perfectly coexists with the fact that he's also very selfish. in this way, Al is his perfect mirror: in his own words, Al looks out only for himself; he would not go out of his way to help a stranger at the cost of his own life because he's fought fucking hard and sacrificed too much for that life—and yet that's exactly what he's doing by helping Sam, by being the Sancho and Dulcinea to his Don Quixote, putting his own life aside to be there for Sam 24/7. because he loves him. romantically or platonically, however you choose to read their relationship, it's undeniable that Al loves Sam to a devotional degree. meanwhile Sam is riddled with guilt over not being there for his dad when he died, over "abandoning" him to pursue his own studies and interests—and then he proceeds to do exactly that to Al by stepping into the Accelerator, and then fucking again by doing what he does in Mirror Image.

i have so many frankly insane thoughts about what Sam does to Al in Mirror Image (hilarious unintentional wording sorry. unfortunately he does not fuck that old man quite the opposite.) and i am very much channeling them into a long, rambling, experimental post-canon fic, thank you very much. but the gist of it is that like... ok, taking your own words, it's very interesting that you said Sam is "sacrificing his returning home for Al's happiness", because that's not quite the way i see it. Sam was never going to return home. what he's doing for Al is, at least in his mind, setting him free and leaving him a parting gift.

ok so: Sam learns that his journey does not have an end, and he will never go home. throughout this entire journey thus far, Al has been his loyal companion, helper, and guardian angel. "i don't know if i can make it without you Al" "i don't wanna hear that you can't make it! of course you can. if you had to." but Al is just that, a companion (one that is 20 years older than Sam, worth mentioning)—someone who Sam unintentionally burdened with the role of helper. but where Sam is going, Al can't follow. he just can't keep following Sam around forever—Sam wouldn't want that for him. he wants Al to be happy, and for Al to be happy, he needs his own life back, and he needs the main wrong in his life righted—Beth.

...that's how Sam sees it, at least. because, as mentioned before, Sam may be good, but he's also selfish. it's very ironic, and juicy, to me, that he keeps repeating the same mistake over and over, with everyone he loves the most (his family and Al): consistently underestimating how much people love him, and leaving without saying goodbye. he's so obsessed with Saving Al that he fails to consider that maybe Al, who has a very specific and strong trauma about being abandoned by the people he loves the most, as much as he might be thrilled at having Beth back, might not appreciate 1. Sam not consulting him in the decision to completely turn his whole life and timeline upside down 2. Sam disappearing without a trace without saying goodbye or offering him any sort of closure in their very intense, very codependent relationship 3. having to sort of like... pay the price for having Beth by losing Sam, as if these two people, the two people he's loved the most in his entire life, were interchangeable.

and, to be fair, this part of the analysis does seem like a bit of a stretch if you've only seen the canonical ending of the show as it aired and not the original 'lost' ending that they ended up cutting for Reasons, but which i absolutely consider to be canon and the "real" ending of the show.

god, okay, i probably could have many more things to say about this if prompted, but that should be the gist of it, i believe. hopefully i'm not forgetting anything? did you know there's actually multiple alternate endings they wrote for different real-life scenarios Just In Case, including one where Sam and Al would go to space and Al would be a leaper and Sam would be a time traveler in his own body if they got picked up for a sixth season? i'm obsessed with it.

as for Al the Bartender? my fun little theory is that he's not God, or Time, or Fate, or an alien, or any of those things—in a way, in-universe, he's all of them at once.

he's The Narrative personified.

[slashtakemylife]

I like What if but I feel it isn't pushing it enough, or is it?

I feel it's mostly just showing us fave characters in amusing and wacky scenarios, like they put names and words in a title generator and see what shows up and figure crazy scenarios like for example Thanos being redeemed by T'Challa and showing him being "cool" even tho slightly deranged but I don't feel it delves into actual what if scenarios that have plagued marvel fans through out the movies.

I just think it would be slightly more interesting to see some ideas closer to the storyline, feeding into actual what if scenarios marvel fans have made, don't take them too much at heart, these options are mostly just to capture my point

1. What if Captain America had signed the Sokovia Accords?

2. What if Captain America had sacrificed the Vision before Thanos arrived?

For the first scenario, everyone says Cap was to blame for Civil War because he was too hard-headed to see beyond BUCKY and himself and not about others, okay fine, so What if he had? Would the Sokovia Accords would've really helped? Would Bucky really would've been better off? Would the enhanced people would've? What if what Steve said happened and they refused to deploy them where they were needed or somewhere they didn't want to? Or maybe it was a good option and why. We don't know but we would like to know and see

For the second, I've seen some say Steve was at fault because if only he had agreed to destroy the mind stone before Thanos arrived, the blip wouldn't have happened, so ok, what if he did? What if he agreed? Honestly Wanda would've gone batshit at anyone trying to hurt Vision but let's say Steve managed to do what Vision asked, Wanda honestly would've killed him probably but would that solve things? Could Thanos work around it? What would he have done? Would everything really be saved? Maybe it did maybe it won't and honestly idk how it would end up but that's the point of a What if

3. What if Peter Quill had killed Gamora? Or what if Peter hadn't wavered when confronting Thanos?

Peter did promised to Gamora he would kill her before Thanos used her and he broke his promise by trying to kill Thanos except Thanos wouldn't allow it anyway because he needed her, what if Peter had kept his promise? What if he shoot Thanos to distract him by his gun but really was aiming to kill Gamora with a secret knife for example? What would've happened then? Would he go for Nebula?

I remember a few also blamed Peter for getting too caught up asking about Gamora and that he was also to blame on what happened in the Blip so what if they had succeeded in killing Thanos there?

Don't take these examples at heart, I'm just saying them as stuff that's been debated over marvel fans, What if doesn't have the gust to go against their own canon and show us real What Ifs that I've seen marvel fans debate and that would be interesting to see their own spin of it

Maybe the outcome isn't as flashy as What if shows and maybe that's why they don't do it because the point is to be wacky and not so serious, maybe too is that what if is to just let our imagination fly and allow fans more scenarios to imagine and run wild on.

Also I do consider they also don't do it because people have created their own opinions and stans on some things so is best to leave them because the moment they show it, some will view it as the "canon" way such as for example:

"If Cap had signed the Sokovia Accords it would've gone exactly like he said it would and they are trash" would've given "canon" confirmation that "Tony Stark was wrong and Cap was right all along" making it easier for people to trash Tony or "Team Tony", even if in canon they did trash the Accords, it's a throw away easy to miss line and we never really see them be put in action but also... What if they actually worked? What if they showed it was a good option just like Tony said? What if then?

And btw speaking about Tony...

4. What if Tony achieved his dream of putting a suit of armor everywhere?

Would it be good to have a suit of armor everywhere? Or would it have created an actual Civil War with Cap being against the robots and turning Nomad and doing his best to destroy them? Would Tony eventually see how it wouldn't be good to have an army of robots checking your every move? Would it eventually get out of hand and he'd end up having to team up with Cap to destroy them?

But he didn't want just a bunch of robots, he wanted A robot, A robot that would make the Avengers be useless because they would fight the battles for them, so "they could go home". So here's another one

5. What if Tony had created the Ultron he wanted? Would it be good or bad?

Technically we do have a "good Ultron", that being the Vision but both Ultron and Vision acknowledge that even if Vision was his "good" form, it isn't what Tony had envisioned (ha, pun intended), Vision has too much agency and can't be controlled by Tony and it shows when Vision get humanized by his love for Wanda.

But lets say he succeeded and "good Ultron" has kept peace for years, think of marvel movies conflicts and Ultron just effectively solves it, but what if we go to Cap 2?

What if Ultron kills Bucky?

For Ultron, Bucky is a criminal and a threat and upon appearing to kill Nick Fury, the bots save Fury but are adamant on killing The Winter Soldier, let's say they do, what then? Or maybe they don't because let's say they don't kill criminals, either way you bet your ass Steve would go against Ultron to save Bucky even if Ultron adamantly believes Bucky is a threat.

What if Ultron has kept peace for years but upon arrival of Thanos he takes Thanos side?

What if he had gone wacky after all those years? After Tony has had to tweak so much of him say for example the Bucky situation being so confusing for Ultron because yes he's a criminal but actually he didn't want to, and also that applies to Black Widow, yes they where evil but they where brainwashed and forced to do it so yes to some but not to some.

The program Ultron is already confused and upon Thanos arriving he decides to side with Thanos

What if...?

Listen at this point I'm just throwing sentences left and right but I hope my point is coming across and if anyone would like to add any more what if I'd be more than happy to see what other fans would actually like to see in What if.

Also I don't want y'all to take my scenarios so seriously but if anyone wishes to discuss or contend or expand or even rage about any of my made up scenarios, then that's great! Because that's exactly my point.

What ifs are supposed to be able to open debate, open discussions and delve deep into the stories and characters and that's what I feel is lacking in Disney's What If.

Disney's What If only shows us cool scenarios and iterations of characters but doesn't really dig deep into what ifs that marvel fans have made over the years

I understand if they don't want to get into arguments with fans so yeah I understand but I also feel it's mostly being cowardly of them and What if is simply an excuse to recycle characters and rebrand them to sell them again to us and honestly it is working, I love what if, I am excited to see whatever they show up and I'll eat it all up, I want to see more Steve because there won't be anymore coming after endgame and seeing him in other iterations is excited, I miss Bucky too and I also want to see him as well as other characters so yeah it works.

But either way, I still feel that "What If" title falls flat in what really could've been and on what I, naively most likely, believed it could be