#But everyone I've seen is like. first movie canon only anyway so!
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creatureshrieks · 11 months ago
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oh yeah. i wrote up laurie's brief bio on her carrd though I do have a lot of ideas in regards to her future and what not.
due to the... constant different timelines and the fact i have......... zero interest...... in incorporating her family (considering she has like two different kids in two different timelines and what not idc) into my future takes on Laurie considering it's not as if anyone roleplays a Halloween muse that's not Michael or Laurie there's no point LOL.
In my takes on Laurie since I'm basing only on the first film (Because they even remade and retconned the second! did you know that! because the original director didnt like it!)
She does still get taken to the hospital after Michael attacks her on Halloween, but she doesn't shoot Michael's eyes out nor does she start a relationship with Jimmy as the second film implies. She's way too freaked out to even consider dating or romance at the moment!
Canonically - and I mean this! Canonically - Laurie was only given two days to grieve before she was sent back to school. She never received therapy for her issues due to the fact her parents, though they loved her, believed she'd be completely okay and promised her the Boogeyman wouldn't hurt her anymore. He was shot six times? He's dead, Laurie. You're okay.
Laurie swears Michael is out there, however, and in the nights following his attacks she swears she can hear him breathing all around her. She doesn't sleep and when she does, she's plagued with nightmares of his face. Of her friends. She despises the lack of care everyone around her gives her, but she is also partially grateful for the return to routine - she clings to her school in a basic attempt to reclaim some sense of being normal again. It helps her get through her days, burying herself in school. She hates school too, however, because who wouldn't want to ask about that night? We're so sorry, Laurie. Is there anything we can do, Laurie? Does it hurt, Laurie? Was it scary, Laurie? What did he look like, Laurie? Tell us, Laurie. She wears long sleeves to hide the scar on her arm, though she finds herself mindlessly rubbing it with her thumb far too often for her own comfort. She tries to cover it up, keep it out of sight and out of view.
Laurie turns 18 in February. She doesn't have a party. Her parents get her cake. She smiles even though she doesn't feel like it. Her parents get her a car.
Laurie doesn't go to her senior prom. She gets asked, but she figures it's just out of sympathy. She doesn't feel like partying. She doesn't want to stay out that late.
Laurie goes to college hours away, just in an attempt to get out of Haddonfield before the next Halloween and to put some distance between herself and the last place Michael Myers was, if he even cared to look for her again. She doesn't know if he will, she just knows that he's out there. Laurie doesn't go to parties, she doesn't stay out late. She lives in a dorm where the door is always locked. She covers her arm with long sleeves. She tries make up, but even leaving it exposed makes it feel too real. Someone asked her about it once and she made up a lie. She never left it uncovered again.
It gets a little better as time goes on. Michael is less a physical threat to watch for and more just some shape in her dreams, a shadow trailing behind her. She could move on.
That first Halloween after is rough, though. Not just out of fear, but grief, too. She never got a chance to ever really come to terms with everything that happened. Her friends didn't just die. It wasn't a freak accident, some slow illness. They weren't even just taken from her - they were posed like toys, all in some sick effort to scare her. Her. She stays in her dorm room that night. Door locked.
Part of her expects him to come, but unlike last year she vows to be ready. She won't let him torment her forever.
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lostfracturess · 3 days ago
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three words i could not say
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pairing — satoru gojo x gn!reader
summary — for twenty-four years, satoru gojo has carried three little words on the tip of his tongue, never daring to speak them aloud. growing up as the strongest sorcerer comes with its burdens, and loving someone means putting them at risk. but when you're about to marry someone else, satoru finally realizes that sometimes the biggest risk is never taking one at all.
word count — 7.4 k
genre/tags — childhood friends to lovers, mutual pining, slow burn, hurt/comfort, fluff, protective gojo, idiots in love
warnings — no explicit content (only kissing), mild violence mentions, references to injuries, angst, alcohol use, mentions of arranged marriages, family pressure, reference to assassination attempts
author's note — hey lovelies, with everything that's going on rn, i wanted to write something cute to maybe make someone smile today. there's a little bit of angst in this (sorry, yk me), but mostly it's (bitter)sweet moments. and i tried to keep it somewhat canon-compliant, but maybe not really. and i've written this with gender-neutral pronouns to ensure everyone can see themselves in this story. if you notice any places where i might have slipped up, please let me know.
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Three little words.
Just eight letters that had lived on the tip of Satoru Gojo's tongue for what felt like forever, desperately wanting to spill from his lips every time he saw you. 
Three words that had haunted him through the years, through scraped knees and graduation gowns, through first dates and near-death experiences.
I love you.
Simple words that carried the weight of universes, that could change everything — or destroy it all. And so, he'd held them back, let them sit heavy in his chest, like a weight that pressed against his lungs with every breath.
Because loving a Gojo wasn't easy. It never had been.
Love had always been a foreign concept to him. Growing up in the Gojo clan meant learning about power before learning about affection, mastering close combat before understanding emotions. 
Love was abstract, complex, something other people seemed to grasp naturally while he watched from behind barriers of privilege and power.
But with you? With you, it had been as clear as breathing.
It hadn't been the dramatic, earth-shattering revelation movies always promised. Instead, it was quiet, constant, like realizing the sun had always been there, warming his skin. It was in the way you shared your lunch without being asked, how you never flinched when his powers flared, how you rolled your eyes at his dramatics but smiled anyway.
Love had been the easiest thing in the world when it came to you. Understanding it, feeling it, living it — that part was simple.
It was everything else that was complicated.
Because Satoru knew what happened to people the Gojos loved. He'd seen it, lived it, carried the weight of those consequences since before he could walk. Love, in his world, wasn't just about feelings — it was about target signs and weaknesses, about giving your enemies a roadmap straight to your heart.
And your heart? That was something he couldn't bear to put at risk.
So he had learned to swallow those words, to tuck them away behind smirks and jokes and casual touches that never lasted quite long enough. He had become an expert at loving you silently, at pouring all those unspoken feelings into small acts of protection, of care, of presence.
Some days, the words would claw at his throat like living things, desperate to escape. On those days, he'd find himself watching you — the way you moved, the sound of your laugh, the simple fact of your existence in his complicated world — and the urge to confess would be almost unbearable.
But then he'd remember all the attempts on his life, all the enemies who would love nothing more than to hurt him through you, all the danger that came with the name Gojo, and the words would retreat back into his chest where they lived like a constant ache.
Loving you had been the easiest thing Satoru had ever done. Keeping that love silent had been the hardest.
✦ .  ⁺ Age 6 ⁺   . ✦
The first time Satoru realized he wanted to say those words to you, he had been six years old and you were crying because some older kids stole your favorite crayon. You had both been sitting in the reading corner of your kindergarten classroom, and your tears were making his chest hurt in a way he didn't understand.
"Don't cry," he had said, reaching out to pat your head like his mom did when he was sad. "I'll get it back for you."
You had sniffled, looking up at him with those wide, watery eyes that made his little heart skip. "But they're bigger than you."
He had puffed up his chest. "So? I'm stronger."
Before you could stop him, he had marched right up to the group of second graders during recess. They towered over him, but Satoru hadn't cared. He was a Gojo, after all, and Gojos didn't back down.
Ten minutes later, he had been sitting in the principal's office with a bloody nose and a black eye, but clutched triumphantly in his hand was your favorite crayon. The principal had called his parents, of course. There was talk of his "concerning behavior" and "excessive force," but all Satoru could think about was how your whole face had lit up when he handed you back that crayon.
That night, as his mother tucked him into bed, she had asked him why he did it. And he simply said because you were sad.
His mother had given him a look that he wouldn't understand until years later. "The Gojo men have always been weak to those they love," she had told him, pressing a kiss to his forehead.
He had wanted to tell you then, as you colored together the next day, carefully sharing that rescued crayon. The words had bubbled up in his chest like soda fizz, but he had swallowed them down. Because even at six, he knew that being around him meant trouble, and he didn't want to see you cry again.
✦ .  ⁺ Age 12 ⁺   . ✦
Middle school had brought new challenges and new reasons to keep those words locked away. 
Satoru had started to understand what it meant to be a Gojo — the weight of the name, the expectations, the suffocating responsibilities that seemed to grow heavier with each passing day.
You were still there, though, somehow always by his side despite the chaos that surrounded him. When other kids whispered about his family, about the strange things that happened around him, you just rolled your eyes and shared your lunch with him like nothing was wrong.
He had nearly said it one autumn afternoon when you were both sprawled on your bedroom floor, supposedly doing homework but really just talking about nothing and everything. The late sunlight had caught your features just right, and you were laughing at something stupid he had said, and the words had almost slipped out.
But then his phone had rung. It had been his father, summoning him to an urgent clan meeting.
Another reminder of the life that awaited him — endless meetings about maintaining the Gojo name, about upholding traditions centuries old, about sacrificing personal happiness for the sake of the clan's future.
As he had sat in that austere meeting room, surrounded by stern-faced elders discussing bloodlines and duties and arranged marriages, all he could think about was your laugh from earlier that afternoon. How free it had sounded, how untainted by the weight of expectations and tradition.
How could he tell you he loved you when being with him meant dragging you into this world of rigid traditions and suffocating responsibilities? When loving him meant you might have to give up everything you held dear?
So he had swallowed the words once again, buried them deep, even as they burned in his chest like embers that refused to die. Because he would rather suffer in silence than watch the weight of the Gojo name dim the spark in your eyes.
✦ .  ⁺ Age 16 ⁺   . ✦
High school was when Satoru had started deliberately pushing people away. He had built walls of arrogance and casual flirtation, keeping everyone at arm's length while making it look effortless. He dated casually, never seriously, and cultivated a reputation as someone who didn't do relationships.
Everyone had bought it except you.
You saw right through him, just like you always had. You called him out on his bullshit, threw erasers at his head when he was being particularly obnoxious, and somehow still showed up at his house with his favourite sweets when he was sick.
"Your ego's getting too big for this classroom," you'd tell him whenever he started showing off. He'd just grin and make it worse, because your exasperated sighs had become his favorite sound.
During lunch breaks, while others gathered around his desk trying to get his attention, you'd just roll your eyes and steal food from his plate. He'd pretend to be annoyed, but he had started packing extra of your favorites, just to watch you light up when you found them.
High school had also been the time when the clan's pressure had threatened to crush him. Every day brought new expectations, new techniques to master, new reminders that he wasn't just Satoru but the future of the Gojo clan.
He never told you, but your presence had kept him sane. You had been the only one allowed to see him practice with his cursed technique, sitting on the sidelines of the training grounds doing homework while he worked himself to exhaustion.
On the days when the pressure of being the strongest got too heavy, you'd wordlessly share your earbuds with him, letting him rest his head on your shoulder while some silly pop song played between you. And you'd hold his hand, and he'd squeeze back so tight it almost hurt.
In those moments, the words had been right there, sitting on his tongue. But he couldn't. Not when your friendship was the one pure thing in his complicated life.
But the words had nearly escaped one night when you were both sneaking back into town after a concert two cities over. You had been wearing his jacket because you forgot yours, and you were singing off-key to some pop song on the radio, and his heart had felt so full it might burst.
But then he had spotted a car that had been following them for the last twenty minutes, and instead of confessing, he had to lose the tail while pretending everything was fine. You never noticed, too caught up in your impromptu karaoke session, and he had been grateful for that at least.
He had driven you home in silence after that, the words buried so deep he could barely breathe around them. You had fallen asleep against the window, blissfully unaware of how close he'd come to changing everything between you.
✦ .  ⁺ Age 18 ⁺   . ✦
College had brought a new kind of torture. Because then he had to watch you date other people, normal people who didn't have assassination attempts over breakfast or cursed energy that could level cities.
He still kept you close, though. He couldn't help it. You were his gravity, his true north, the one constant in his chaotic life. You were still the person who brought him coffee during all-nighters, who listened to his ridiculous theories at 3 AM, who somehow knew exactly when he needed a hug even though he'd never admit it.
The campus had whispered about it — about how the untouchable Satoru Gojo let you into his space so easily, how you were the only one who could barge into his dorm at any hour without fear of consequence. 
They wondered what made you special, what kind of hold you had over him. If they only knew how many times he had bitten back those three words when you'd fallen asleep on his shoulder during late-night study sessions, or how his heart had nearly burst when you'd chosen to spend the evening with him instead of going to that party your crush had invited you to.
The words had almost broken free during your sophomore year, when you had shown up at his door at midnight, crying because someone broke your heart. He had held you while you sobbed, stroked your hair, and plotted seventeen different ways to destroy the person who hurt you (he had only acted on three of them, and nobody could prove anything).
He remembered how you had curled into his side that night, hiccupping through tears about how you "just wanted someone who understood you."
The irony had burned in his throat — he understood you better than anyone, had mapped every constellation of your moods and meanings, had memorized every shade of your smile.
But understanding wasn't enough when being with him meant inheriting all his complications.
You had fallen asleep in his bed that night, wrapped in his favorite hoodie, and he had spent hours just watching you breathe, his heart aching with how much he wanted to keep you there forever.
When morning came, you had smiled at him over coffee and thanked him for being "the best friend anyone could ask for," and each word had felt like a knife between his ribs.
He had wanted to tell you then, had wanted to show you how you should be loved — wholly, fiercely, eternally. But he knew he couldn't offer you the normal life you deserved, so he had swallowed the words again and just held you tighter.
Instead, he had channeled all those unspoken feelings into being the kind of friend you needed. He walked you home from late parties, threatened anyone who looked at you wrong and pretended it didn't kill him every time you gushed about a new crush. 
What you had never told him was that each crush faded as quickly as it came, because somehow they all fell short of the impossible standard he had unknowingly set.
He became an expert at loving you from arm's length, at being everything you needed while hiding how much he needed you.
The worst part was how naturally it all came to him — how easy it was to be the one you turned to, to be your safe harbor in every storm. Because loving you had always been as natural as breathing, even when it hurt.
Especially when it hurt.
College became an impossible balance of keeping you close enough to stay in your life but far enough away to keep his heart from completely shattering.
He dated casually, built up his reputation as someone who didn't do commitment, all while knowing that the only person he'd ever wanted to commit to was right there, wearing his hoodies and stealing his fries and completely oblivious to how much power you held over him.
✦ .  ⁺ Age 22 ⁺   . ✦
After graduation, you had both somehow ended up in the same city. Different jobs, different lives, but still orbiting each other like you always had.
You dated other people, and so did he (sort of), but you still met for coffee every Wednesday and dinner every Sunday, still texted each other random thoughts at inappropriate hours.
Those Wednesday coffee meetings had become sacred. He'd show up at your workplace, two cups in hand — one with less sugar but lots of milk, the way you liked it, and his own ridiculously sweet like his smile, as you always teased. 
He had memorized your schedule, knew which days you worked late, which mornings you had important meetings. On the nights when your job kept you at the office past midnight, he'd lurk nearby, pretending he just happened to be in the area when you finally emerged exhausted. 
You'd roll your eyes but accept his offer to walk you home, and he'd fight the urge to take your hand every step of the way.
Sunday dinners were even worse for his heart. Sometimes you'd cook (badly), sometimes he'd order in (expensively), but it always felt so domestic it hurt.
The way you'd steal bites from his plate, like you always used to do, how you'd curl up on his couch afterward like you belonged there, the casual way you'd rest your feet in his lap while watching movies — it was everything he wanted and nothing he could keep.
The words had nearly escaped during one of those Sunday dinners, when you were both a little drunk on wine and nostalgia, laughing about all the trouble you had gotten into growing up. You had looked at him with such fondness, such understanding, and he had almost broken.
"Remember when you punched that guy at the bar who wouldn't leave me alone?" you had asked, cheeks flushed from wine and laughter.
"Which time?" he had replied, only half-joking. There had been several instances, each one burning in his memory because how dare anyone make you uncomfortable.
"All of them," you had laughed, reaching over to poke his cheek. "My hero."
The word had squeezed his heart like a fist. Hero. If only you knew how selfish his protection had always been, how each act of defending you had been as much about his own possessive need to keep you safe as it was about your wellbeing.
You had shifted closer on the couch then, laying your head on his shoulder in that casual way that always made his breath catch and his fingers had itched to run through your hair, to tilt your face up to his, to finally close the distance he'd been maintaining for so many years. 
The words had risen in his throat like a tide. But then his phone had buzzed with an alert about another threat, another mission, another reason why loving him was dangerous, and he had bitten his tongue until he tasted blood.
✦ .  ⁺ Age 25 ⁺   . ✦
It had gotten harder as the years passed. Harder to watch you live your life, harder to keep pretending he didn't want to be more than your best friend, harder to keep those three words locked away.
He had started taking more dangerous missions, throwing himself into his work with reckless abandon. Because if he was busy fighting curses and saving the world, he couldn't think about how much he wanted to kiss you, to hold you, to finally let those words free.
At least, that's what he had told himself as he accepted increasingly risky assignments, each one a little more dangerous than the last.
The other sorcerers had started calling him reckless. But how could he explain that facing down cursed spirits was easier than facing the way you looked at him with such concern? That physical pain was a welcome distraction from the constant ache in his chest?
But you were still there, still calling him out when he was being stupid, still patching him up when he came back injured, still looking at him like he was someone beyond his name and his power.
He always saved one small injury for you to tend to — a scrape here, a bruise there — even though his reversed cursed technique had already healed the worst of his wounds. It had become your ritual, you'd patch him up at your apartment, your coffee table covered in supplies that he didn't really need, both of you pretending this wasn't an elaborate excuse to be close to each other.
"You're going to get yourself killed one of these days," you had muttered one particularly bad night, hands trembling slightly as you cleaned a gash on his forehead that would have healed on its own in seconds. But he had let you fuss over it anyway, selfishly savoring every gentle touch.
The words had almost broken free one night when you were stitching up a particularly nasty wound on his side. Your hands had been gentle but your lecture was harsh, telling him off for being so careless with his life.
He could have healed it himself — you both knew that — but he had wanted your hands on him, even if they came with a scolding.
"You're not immortal, you idiot," you had said, and there were tears in your eyes that made his heart clench. "I know you think you're invincible, but you're not. What am I supposed to do if something happens to you?"
The raw emotion in your voice had nearly undone him. He had wanted to tell you then that he only acted so reckless because loving you from afar was slowly killing him anyway. That every mission, every fight, was just another way to exhaust himself enough that he wouldn't do something stupid like confess his feelings and ruin everything between you.
Instead, he had just made a joke about being too pretty to die, and pretended not to notice when you wiped your eyes. But he had caught your hand as you turned away, held it perhaps a moment too long, his thumb brushing over your knuckles in what he hoped felt like reassurance.
Your apartment had become his retreat those days. He would show up at odd hours, sometimes bleeding, sometimes just exhausted, and you would let him in without question. You never asked why he came to you instead of using his technique to heal himself. Maybe you had known, just like he had, that these moments weren't really about the injuries at all.
There had been nights when he'd fall asleep on your couch, lulled by the sound of you moving around your apartment, by the domestic comfort of knowing you were near. He'd wake up to find himself covered with a blanket, a glass of water on the coffee table, and his heart would ache with how much he wanted this to be his everyday reality.
Sometimes, in his weaker moments, he'd catch himself watching you as you worked on your laptop, curled up in the armchair across from him. The soft glow of the screen would wash over your features, and he'd think about how easy it would be to cross that small distance, to finally tell you everything he'd been holding back.
But then he'd remember the last mission, the close calls, the enemies who were getting stronger and bolder, and he'd force himself to look away. Because loving him had always come with a price, and he wasn't willing to make you pay it.
So he had buried those feelings deeper, thrown himself into more missions, and pretended that the ache in his chest was from the fights and not from loving you so much it physically hurt.
✦ .  ⁺ Age 28 ⁺   . ✦
The breaking point had come, as these things often did, on an ordinary day.
You had both been in your apartment, having one of your regular movie nights. You were wearing old sweatpants and one of his hoodies that you had stolen years ago, there were takeout containers scattered across your coffee table, and you were arguing about whether the movie's plot made any sense.
It had been so normal, so comfortable, so perfectly you and him that something in his chest finally cracked.
Because he had realized, watching you gesture wildly about the movie's plot holes, that he had been an idiot. He had spent over two decades trying to protect you by keeping his distance, but you had been in danger this whole time anyway. Because everyone who knew him knew that you were his weakness, his soft spot, the one person who could bring the great Satoru Gojo to his knees.
And you had stayed anyway. Through every fight, every danger, every close call, you had chosen to stay in his life. You had patched his wounds, celebrated his victories, mourned his losses, and never once asked for anything in return except his friendship.
That night, he had decided tomorrow would be the day. No more waiting, no more excuses. He would finally tell you everything.
He had barely slept, spending hours picking out the perfect flowers, hoping they would help say everything his heart had been trying to tell you for years. He had practiced the words in his mirror, ran through a dozen different speeches, each one feeling more inadequate than the last.
But when he had arrived at your apartment building that morning, flowers clutched in sweaty palms and heart thundering in his chest, he had seen them through your living room window. You weren't alone. Someone else was there, someone who had made you throw your head back in laughter, who had pulled you close with an ease that made his chest constrict.
He had watched, frozen on the sidewalk, as you reached up to brush something from their cheek, the gesture so tender it had felt like a physical blow. The flowers in his hands had suddenly felt like they were made of lead.
Satoru had stood there for what felt like hours but was probably only minutes, watching you be happy with someone else, watching you shine so brightly for another person. Then, with movements that felt mechanical, he had dropped the flowers in a nearby trash can and walked away.
Three words, still unspoken, had burned in his throat with every step.
For weeks after that, he had thrown himself into missions like a madman, taking on the most dangerous assignments he could find. Anything to avoid thinking about how he had waited too long, how he had lost his chance.
But then you had called him one night, voice slightly slurred from wine, asking him to come over. And like always, he couldn't refuse you.
That's how he had found himself back in your apartment, watching you pace back and forth, ranting about how empty it all felt. How you had tried to move on, tried to find what everyone said you should want — a normal relationship, a simple life, someone safe.
"But it's not right," you had said, running your hands through your hair in frustration. "Nothing feels right. They're nice, they're perfect on paper, but—"
"But what?" he had asked, his heart in his throat.
"But they're not you," you had whispered, the words hanging in the air between you like suspended stars.
A movie had still been playing in the background, forgotten as you both stood there, years of unspoken feelings spilled on the floor. The weight of your confession had made it hard to breathe, and for a moment, just a moment, he had let himself imagine what it would be like to close the distance between you, to finally say the words that had lived in his heart for so long.
But then his phone had buzzed in his pocket — another threat, another reminder — and reality came crashing back.
"You can't," he had said, his voice rougher than he'd intended. "You can't say things like that."
"Why not?" You had taken a step toward him, and he had forced himself to take one back, watching hurt flash across your face. "Satoru, I've waited—"
"Then stop waiting," he had cut you off, hating himself for the way his words made you flinch. "This isn't—we can't—" A pause. "Do you know how many attempts there have been on my life this month alone? How many enemies would love to know that the great Satoru Gojo has someone he—" He had caught himself before the word 'loves' could escape. "Someone he cares about?"
"I'm not afraid—"
"Well, I am!" The words had burst from him with more force than he'd intended, making you both freeze. "I am terrified, okay? Because everyone I've ever—everyone who gets close to me ends up with a target on their back. And you—" His voice had softened despite himself. "You deserve better than that. Better than looking over your shoulder for the rest of your life, better than wondering if each goodbye might be the last."
"That's not your choice to make," you had said quietly, and the resignation in your voice had been worse than anger would have been.
"Yes, it is. Because I'm the one who would have to live with it if something happened to you because of me." He had straightened his shoulders, pulled on the mask he wore for everyone else — cold, untouchable, removed. "Go back to them. Find someone normal. Someone safe. Someone who can give you the life you deserve."
"And what about what I want?"
"Sometimes what we want isn't what's best for us." The words had left a bitter taste in his mouth.
You had looked at him for a long moment, tears gathering in your eyes, and he had dug his nails into his palms to keep from reaching for you. Finally, you had nodded once, sharp and hurt.
"Get out."
He had turned to leave, each step feeling like he was walking through concrete. At the door, he had paused, his hand on the handle.
"I'm sorry," he had whispered, not turning around. Because if he had looked at you then, his resolve would have crumbled entirely.
The soft click of the door closing behind him had sounded like the end of everything.
✦ .  ⁺ Age 30 ⁺   . ✦
Two years of carefully maintained distance had felt like an eternity. The clan's pressure had mounted with each passing month — meetings about bloodlines, about duty, about carrying on the Gojo name. His parents had finally put their foot down, presenting him with a list of "suitable" candidates from other prestigious families.
Satoru had turned it into something of an art form, really — how to be just obnoxious enough, just impossible enough, that each carefully selected partner would run screaming for the hills without him technically refusing anyone.
"This is getting ridiculous," his mother had sighed after the seventh failed meeting. "Are you going to chase away every eligible human on this earth?"
Yes, he had wanted to say. Because none of them were you.
You still texted occasionally — surface-level messages about holidays or birthdays, the kind of distant politeness that felt wrong after decades of intimacy. He had saved every message anyway, re-reading them late at night when missions left him too restless to sleep.
Your contact photo was still the same one from college, you resting your head on his shoulder, laughing at something he’d said. He couldn’t bring himself to change it.
Sometimes he'd catch glimpses of you around the city. You'd cut your hair, changed jobs, moved to a new apartment. He knew all this from the careful distance he maintained, from the reports he definitely didn't ask Ijichi to give him.
You seemed... fine. Happy, even. It was what he'd wanted, he told himself. You, safe and happy, even if it was without him.
The invitation had arrived on a Tuesday.
The envelope had been cream-colored, expensive. His name written in elegant calligraphy that had made his stomach drop before he'd even opened it. Inside, the words had blurred together, except for the ones that mattered.
You were getting married.
To someone safe. Someone normal. Someone who could give you everything he couldn't.
The invitation had sat on his coffee table for days, taunting him. He'd catch himself staring at it during his morning coffee, during late-night mission reports, during every quiet moment when his mind wasn't occupied with staying alive.
Your handwritten note had been worse than the formal invitation.
'I'd really like you to be there. Please come.'
His phone had been in his hand before he'd realized it, your number still muscle memory after all this time. The cursor had blinked at him mockingly as he'd tried to formulate a response.
'Congratulations,' he had finally typed, each letter feeling like a small death. 'I'll be there.'
Because of course he would be. He'd sit there and watch you marry someone else, would paste on a smile and give a toast if asked, would pretend his heart wasn't being ripped from his chest with every word of the ceremony.
It was what he deserved, really. He had pushed you away, had made the choice for both of you, had convinced himself it was for the best. This was the consequence of his protection, the price of keeping you safe.
He had gotten drunk that night, alone in his apartment, surrounded by the ghosts of all the words he'd never said. The three most important ones still burned in his throat, unspoken after all these years.
His phone had buzzed with your reply. 'Thank you. It means a lot.'
Four words that had somehow hurt worse than the invitation itself.
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
The day of your wedding had dawned grey and miserable, as if the weather itself was matching Satoru's mood. He'd been away on a mission until the last possible moment, taking out his frustration on cursed spirits with perhaps more violence than strictly necessary.
He had arrived at the venue late, soaked from the rain, his suit probably ruined. But he'd promised to be there, and he'd never broken a promise to you before. He wasn't about to start now, even if it killed him.
But when he had made his way inside, he'd immediately sensed the chaos inside. Hushed, worried voices had carried through the open doors. "Has anyone seen them?" "The ceremony should have started twenty minutes ago." "Check the dressing room again!"
But Satoru had known exactly where to find you.
The venue's grounds had stretched back to a small lake, and there, beneath an old maple tree whose leaves provided little shelter from the rain, you had stood. Your wedding outfit was getting steadily soaked, but you hadn't seemed to notice or care, staring out at the rippling water.
He had approached slowly, drinking in the sight of you. Even with dirt stained cloths and dripping hair, you had been the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.
"Everyone's looking for you," he had said softly.
You hadn't turned around. "I know."
"Three hundred people in there wondering where you've gone."
"Three hundred and one, now that you're here." Your voice had been quiet, almost lost in the rain. "Why are you here, Satoru?"
"You invited me."
"That's not what I meant." Finally, you had turned to face him, and the look in your eyes had made his heart stutter. "Why are you really here?"
He had taken a step closer, drawn to you like gravity, like always. "You know why."
"Do I?" Your voice was so small. "Because I thought I knew, once. I thought I knew a lot of things. But then you pushed me away, told me to find someone safe, someone normal." You had gestured toward the building behind you. "Well, I did. So why are you here?"
"I—"
He had caught sight of a small cut on his cheekbone in a puddle's reflection — the one injury he hadn't healed, the one he'd kept out of habit, out of the memory of your gentle hands patching him up all those years.
Your eyes had followed his, landing on the cut. Without seeming to think about it, you had reached up, fingers ghosting over the wound like they had a thousand times before. The familiar gesture had nearly broken him.
"Don't marry them," he had whispered.
"What?"
"Don't marry them," he had whispered again. "Please."
"Why not?" The question had been barely a whisper. "Give me a reason, Satoru. One real reason why I shouldn't walk back in there and marry someone who actually wants me."
"Because—" The words had stuck in his throat, years of habit holding them back.
"I love you," he had whispered, the words falling into the rain-soaked space between you, and suddenly he could breathe again. Twenty-four years of holding back, of swallowing those words, of carrying them like stones in his chest — and now they were free, floating in the air between you like butterflies finally released from their cage.
"I love you," he had said again, stronger this time. "I've loved you since we were kids. I've loved you through every fight, every mission, every time I tried to push you away for your own good. I've loved you so long I don't remember what it feels like not to love you."
"You—" Your voice had broken. "You idiot. You're telling me this now? When there are three hundred people waiting inside? When I've spent months trying to convince myself I could love someone else?"
"I know. I know, and I'm sorry, but—"
"Shut up," you had breathed, and then you had pulled him down by his lapels and kissed him.
He had kissed you back like a drowning man finding air, like coming home after a lifetime of wandering. Your lips had been cold from the rain but soft against his, and when you had melted against him, he'd felt something in his chest finally slot into place.
Years of careful control had shattered like glass, and he had wrapped his arms around your waist, lifting you clean off the ground in a surge of desperate joy. You had gasped against his mouth, and he had taken the opportunity to deepen the kiss, pouring decades of longing into it.
He had spun you around, your hands threading through his wet hair as he held you against him like he was afraid you might disappear if he loosened his grip even slightly. Rain had continued to fall around you, but neither of you had noticed or cared.
His hands had splayed across your back, holding you impossibly closer as he kissed you like a man starved, like he was trying to make up for every kiss he should have given you over the years.
When you had broken apart, you were both breathing heavily, foreheads pressed together as the rain continued to fall around you. Your fingers had still been twisted in his jacket, and his hand had still been cradling your face like you were something precious, something he couldn't quite believe he was allowed to touch.
The weight of all those unspoken words, all those careful distances he'd maintained, all those moments he'd held himself back — it had all lifted away like mist in the morning sun. For the first time in twenty-four years, he had felt truly, completely free.
"You're so stupid," you had whispered, but you hadn't moved away. "There are three hundred people in there, expectations, plans, a whole life I'm supposed to—"
"Run away with me."
"What?"
"Run away with me," he had repeated, pulling back just enough to meet your eyes. "Right now. Let me take you anywhere you want to go. Let me spend the rest of my life making up for lost time, for every moment I was too scared to love you the way you deserved."
"Satoru—"
"I know it's selfish," he had continued, words tumbling out like he couldn't hold them back anymore. "I know I have no right to ask this of you, not after pushing you away. But I can't— I can't watch you marry someone else. I can't spend the rest of my life wondering what if, knowing I let you go without fighting for you."
You had laughed, the sound wavering between tears and joy. "You really are the most impossible man I've ever met."
"Is that a yes?"
"My parents will never forgive me."
"I'll win them over."
"The clan will be furious."
"Let them be."
"Everyone will talk."
"Let them talk." He had cupped your face in his hands, thumbs brushing away the rain and tears on your cheeks. "I don't care about any of that. I just care about you. About us. Everything else… we'll figure it out together."
"Together," you had repeated softly, like you were testing the word. "You won't push me away again? Try to protect me by leaving?"
"Never again," he had promised. "I'm done running. Done pretending I don't love you more than anything in this world. Done letting fear keep me from the only thing that's ever really mattered."
You had searched his face for a long moment, and he had let you see everything — all the love, the fear, the desperate hope he'd kept hidden for so long.
Finally, you had smiled, bright and real, the smile he'd fallen in love with all those years ago. "Okay."
"Okay?"
"Take me away from here," you had said, and his heart had soared. "Show me what it's like when Satoru Gojo finally stops holding back."
He hadn't needed to be told twice. In one fluid motion, he had swept you into his arms, your surprised laugh warming something deep in his chest.
"What about everything inside? My things, the guests—"
"I'll send Ijichi to handle it," he had said, already walking away from the venue, from the life you'd almost had without him. "Right now, all that matters is you and me."
"And where exactly are you taking me?"
"Anywhere you want," he had promised, pressing a kiss to your temple. "Everywhere. We have a lifetime of moments to make up for, after all."
You had wrapped your arms around his neck, tucking your face against his shoulder. "I love you too, you know. In case that wasn't clear."
He had tightened his hold on you, something fierce and protective and overwhelmingly tender swelling in his chest. "Say it again."
"I love you, Satoru Gojo," you had whispered against his neck. "I always have."
As he had carried you away from the venue, the rain had finally begun to let up, sunlight breaking through the clouds. A new beginning, he had thought.
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
Looking back, Satoru couldn't believe how stupid he'd been. All those years wasted, all that time spent pushing you away when he could have been holding you close. He'd thought he was protecting you, but in reality, he'd just been protecting himself from the terrifying vulnerability of being truly, completely loved.
Because that's what you did — you loved him entirely, unconditionally, with a fierce devotion that still took his breath away. You loved him through the dangerous missions and the late-night emergencies, through the clan meetings and the political drama. You loved him through the nightmares and the victories, through every high and low that came with being Satoru Gojo.
Life wasn't perfect, of course. There were still threats, still enemies who thought they could use you to get to him. But they had learned, quickly and painfully, that you weren't some helpless weakness to exploit. You were his strength, his anchor, his reason for coming home safely every time.
Those old fears seemed ridiculous now. Because yes, loving him came with dangers — but you had always known that, had always chosen him anyway. And together, you were so much stronger than apart.
The clan had been furious about the wedding scandal, of course. But it was hard to maintain their anger when you handled every social situation with grace, when you proved yourself more than capable of standing beside the strongest sorcerer in the world.
Eventually, even the most traditional elders had to admit that perhaps the Gojo heir had chosen well after all.
Your old routine had shifted, evolved into something even better. Now when you patched up his wounds (the ones he still deliberately saved for you), he could kiss you afterward. When you fell asleep during movie nights, he could pull you close instead of maintaining that careful distance. When you brought him coffee during all-nighters, he could show his gratitude with more than just words.
The best part, though? The absolute best part was being able to say those three words whenever he wanted. And he said them constantly — whispered them against your skin in the morning, called them across rooms just to see you smile, breathed them into quiet moments like prayers.
"I love you" when you handed him his coffee, exactly how he liked it.
"I love you" when you rolled your eyes at his dramatic entrances.
"I love you" when you fell asleep on his shoulder during clan meetings.
"I love you" when you patched up injuries that didn't need patching.
"I love you" for no reason at all, just because he could, just because the words had lived in his heart for so long that letting them free still felt like a miracle.
And every time — every single time — you said it back, like you'd been waiting just as long to be able to say it freely.
Sometimes, on quiet nights when you were both home safe, he'd watch you doing something mundane — reading a book, making tea, existing in his space like you'd always belonged there — and the gratitude would hit him so hard he could barely breathe. Gratitude that you had waited, that you had loved him through his fears and his mistakes, that you had given him the chance to love you properly.
Because that's what he did now — loved you properly, openly, with everything he had. No more holding back, no more careful distance. He loved you the way you deserved to be loved — wholly, fiercely, eternally.
And every day, for the rest of his life, he made sure you knew it. Three words, eight letters, repeated like a promise, like a prayer, like the most important truth he'd ever known.
I love you.
And every day, for the rest of your life, you said it back.
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author's note — after editing this, i realised it's more angsty then intended but oh my i'm sorry, i can't help it. but i hope it made you smile anyway. thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking the time to read this story. your support means the world to me. in these challenging times, please remember that even the darkest nights eventually give way to dawn. sending lots of love your way <3
ps: if you want to get notifications for future updates, you can join my taglist here!
tags — @fayuki @starmapz @saurondriell @starlightanyaaa @sxnkuna
@cocomanga @nanamis-baker @rosso-seta @shervinss @chiyokoemilia
@janbannan @bloopsstuff
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© lostfracturess. do not repost, translate, or copy my work.
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freelancearsonist · 7 months ago
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el chico del apartamento 512
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➔ Frankie Morales x gn!Reader - 1.6k
➔ There's a rumor going around your building about the resident of apartment 512, and you're eager to investigate.
➔ Rated PG-13 for allusions to sex but otherwise just some plain old fluff and fun. post movie canon wife and kid erasure sorry, takes place in colombia, both reader and frankie speak spanish and everything is translated.
➔ this is my entry for the Selena Drabble Challenge hosted by mi esposa @fhatbhabie <3 sorry i've been sitting on this forever hehe but i hope you enjoy
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Frankie barely manages to pull himself out of the slump he’s in for the first year or so after the absolute disaster in the Andes.
He misses his family, misses his friends, misses his crew–his brothers. He tries to convince himself that it’s for the best, that it’s only a matter of time before those assholes who were in cahoots with Lorea come after him–that the people he loves will be safer and happier if he’s not around them when it happens. And most of the time he can block all that sadness and pain out by throwing his whole mind and body into the earnest construction job he picks up in this new town within this new country. But it catches up to him late at night in dreams and quiet whispers of intrusive thoughts; that he’s a coward for abandoning the ones that needed him most, that he could’ve done more to make that damned mission less of a disaster. That he could’ve come out of it rich and happy if he wasn’t such a fuck-up.
He wakes up screaming in the middle of the night, an ache so deep in his chest that it feels like he’s been shot. He clutches at his sternum and tries to catch his breath but he can’t. His body wracks with sobs and he knows he’ll never be okay again.
But somehow, he ends up okay anyway. Somehow, he falls back to sleep just to repeat the cycle the next day.
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There’s a rumor going around amongst your neighbors that apartment 512 is haunted.
People hear things–weird things. Screaming, crying, banging–and always at the dead of night. And everyone swears up and down that they’ve never seen the guy who supposedly lives there. The people who say they have seen him get more dramatic with their descriptions every time–toweringly tall, shoulders that could stand up to a wrecking ball, hauntingly sad eyes and gaunt face. It’s like he’s a thing of legend–a story they tell their kids to make sure they behave. “Don’t run in the halls or the guy from apartment 512 will get you.”
You figure he’s probably just some guy who works long hours and likes to watch horror movies to unwind or something–not a monster or a ghost, just misunderstood. You haven’t seen the guy yourself, but you kinda like him anyway. The building’s certainly been a lot quieter since he moved in… well, everywhere except his own apartment, at least. 
You find yourself keeping a more vigilant eye out, alert to any face in the building that doesn’t look familiar. It seems kinda silly to want to see someone you don’t know, but you’re a little nosy and a little more than curious. If there’s some truth to the rumors that have been going around by the people who claim to have seen him, you want to find out for yourself.
It’s a completely ordinary night when you notice an unfamiliar face in the mailroom, and you have to do a double take. This stranger is handsome–tall and dark with shaggy brown hair and an even shaggier patch of stubble across his jaw.
He’s just standing there, staring blankly at a row of mailboxes, looking so… foreboding. You approach slowly, cautiously; part of you thinks you should just walk away and let this man do whatever he’s doing. But there’s a large, louder part of you that approaches with curiosity. There’s just something about him that draws you in, that makes you put on your best smile and ask, “Señor? Necesitas ayuda?” (Do you need help, sir?)
He blinks slowly, heavily, and then dark brown eyes flicker towards you.
“Oh!” He clears his throat and it’s like he’s coming back from an out of body experience–the color returns to his face, his eyes lose that glassy sheen, and his posture loosens a bit. He looks friendly now, sheepish even. He wrings his big hands and shifts on his feet, as if he’s been caught at a vulnerable moment. “Lo siento, estaba en la nube.” (Sorry, I was spacing out.)
“Está bien,” you tell him with your most disarming smile. “Andas buscando algo?” (It’s okay. / Are you looking for something?)
“No, solo estoy recopilando mi correo,” he rumbles before flashing you the most charming smile you’ve ever seen in your life. (No, I’m just getting my mail.)
He fishes through his pockets and finds a small silver key–and then he inserts it into the box labeled “512”.
“Tú vives en el apartamento 512?” There’s a strange air of reverence in your voice despite trying to hide it. This is the guy everyone’s been talking about, and he doesn’t seem nearly as monstrous as everyone tried to make him sound. (You live in apartment 512?)
“Uhhh… sí?” He chuckles and looks over to you, and you can see the way his brow furrows at the look of shocked surprise on your face.
You realize you’re actually gaping open-mouthed at the poor guy, and you snap your mouth closed as soon as you see the little crease between his brows deepen. Not soon enough for it to go unnoticed, though–the corner of his mouth flickers up in a pseudo-smirk, and god he’s handsome.
“No hemos tenido la oportunidad de conocernos aún.” You look up at him and give your best, winning smile as you give him your name. There’s a strange, fluttery feeling in your stomach as his dark eyes meet yours–have you mentioned how handsome he is? (We haven’t had the chance to meet yet.)
“Mucho gusto,” he says with a smile. “Soy Frankie. Supongo que vives en el edificio también?” (Nice to meet you. / I’m Frankie. I’m guessing you live in the building too?)
“Oh, sí,” you say with a slight laugh. “No soy ningún tipo de acosador, vivo en el apartamento 526.” (Oh, yes. / I promise I’m not some kind of creep, I live in apartment 526.)
And then you catch his eyes dragging along your form, not even the least bit subtle, and you try your best to be nonchalant about the way you have to lean against the wall to avoid melting into a puddle on the mailroom floor; especially when you see those full lips of his curve into a smile, and you know he’s liking what he’s seeing.
“Nah, no creo que seas un acosador,” he hums–and there’s that damned smirk again. If you don’t get out of here you’re going to start drooling. (I don’t think you’re a creep.)
He grabs two letters from his mailbox, examines the envelopes, and then unceremoniously dumps them both into the trashcan in the corner with a mumbled, “Malditas estafas por correo.” (Damn junk mail.)
“Eso es lo único que recibo ahora también,” you tell him sympathetically. (That’s all I get anymore too.)
He brushes past you slightly as he moves to the door, and you get a whiff of distinctly woody cologne that makes your heart pick up a beat. You try to act normal and go to open your own mailbox, but he stops in the narrow doorway and leans against the jam to look at you.
“Te volveremos a ver aquí?” (Will I see you around again?)
You think the rumors about him were right, at least a little bit. He’s towering and imposing–he fills the entire doorway with ease. He’s firm and broad and sturdy and big. Maybe he would be intimidating to someone else, but all you can think about is climbing him like a tree.
“Sí. Puedes verme cuando tú quieras.” (You can see me whenever you want to.)
His eyes flicker indecisively for a moment, and then he draws his bottom lip between his teeth. “Qué tal viernes por la noche?” (What about Friday night?)
You try not to focus on how you want him to bite into you like that as you tell him, “Sí, eso sería perfecto.” (Yes, that would be perfect.)
“Perfecto. Te veré luego.” And then he flashes you that damned adorable boyish smile again before he retreats from the mailroom. You think he’s going to be trouble for you. (Perfect. I’ll see you then.)
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The monthly building meeting is Saturday morning, and you’re glad to see Frankie’s decided to join in finally. Everyone throws curious looks his way as he walks through the room towards where you’re seated, but no one is curious or brave enough to ask who he is.
“Buenos días, querida,” he murmurs, discreetly ghosting a kiss against your cheek as he drops into the seat beside yours. There’s a hint of amusement in his eyes as they trail over your outfit: the same one you wore to dinner last night, the same one you picked up off his bedroom floor this morning and shoved on hastily to get to this meeting in time. (Good morning, dear.)
Before you get a chance to respond, your neighbor from across the hall plunks down in the seat on your other side.
“Escuchaste ese ruido anoche?” She asks, sounding more amused than annoyed. (Did you hear that noise last night?)
“Qué ruido?” You ask with a raised brow. (What noise?)
She smirks with satisfaction, like she knows something you don’t. And then she looks pointedly between you and Frankie. “Suena como si nuestro fantasma en el apartamento 512 hubiera conseguido un socio para él.” (It sounds like our ghost in apartment 512 got himself a partner.)
You nearly choke on your own tongue, but Frankie just chuckles raspily and wraps an arm around your shoulders. He learned all about the rumors from you last night over dinner, and he thinks they’re hilarious. Besides, they’ll die out soon enough anyway–he’s never slept quite as peacefully as he did last night in your arms–if he doesn’t feed them a little bit. And if feeding the rumors means keeping you moaning and groaning the way he did last night, he can’t say he minds it one bit.
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➔ beta: @shakespeareanwannabe; dividers: @saradika-graphics
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jjclopelover · 4 months ago
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How he talks to/about her v.s. How he talks to/about him
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I'm back with more analysis' about JJPope and why it's better than anything either of them had with Kie.
Today I'm talking about JJ and how he speaks of and to them and why the difference in how he does it speaks VOLUMES.
JJ talking about Kie (S1): "Of course, I'm hitting on her. She's a super-hot, rich, hippie chick, slumming with us. Why? I can't figure it out either, but who cares, bro? I know that door's locked because I tried it. Have you?"
JJ talking about Pope(S2): "Ain't all that bad. Just look at the guy over there. He would do anything for us. That's a Pouge if I've ever seen one. Bone-deep. That's just one man's opinion, though."
THE DIFFERENCE.
JJ talking to/about Pope:
"For once in your life, trust someone else."
~~~
"You're the golden boy."
~~~
Topper: "Hey, I just wanna make sure everyone here is okay with ending up in federal prison."
JJ: "Uh, if it gets to that, yeah, I'll do it for Pope."
~~~
"I'm here for you, Pope. Welcome to my world, okay?"
~~~
JJ talking to/about Kie:
"And you--I mean, you're already rich as fuck anyway. Why would you bother?"
~~~
"Okay. Not all of us can afford unlimited data plans, Kiara."
~~~
"Hell of a job melting it down, Dr.Frankenstein."
~~~
(I don't need to put anymore as all of JJ's quotes for Kie are from the first half of S1 lol.)
As you can see, JJ speaks highly of Pope and lowly of Kie. He sees being a pouge as a badge of honor and gave Pope the highest honor. He sees Pope as someone he can relate too and shares a deep connection too.
He doesn't see that with Kie.
And I hear Jiara stans saying "What about S3? He was so worried about her and went back to get her!"
And to that, I say, "Yeah...cuz it's JJ."
His number one trait as a character is his loyalty. It's his best trait as it shows how much he will do for his friends. But also his worst trait as he puts his friends over his own being and in the end it only hurts him.
JJ would have reacted the same if it was anyone else in that situation.
Like when John B was a wanted criminal, JJ did anything for him. (risking to get arrested himself, shooting cops, and being by his side when he was on the run)
Or when Sarah is dealing with Ward or Rafe, JJ is always watching over her. (running after a car that held a drugged Sarah unconscious in the back, jumping in a shipping crate to get her and the cross back, staying by her side, and keeping an eye on her when John B was found guilty in court.)
And even Cleo who just joined the crew, JJ makes sure to treat her like the rest of the pouges. (like when he praised her for convincing Pope's parents to let him go to South America)
And we all know that he would do the same if not more for Pope. (going to jail for him, almost getting arrested for him again, taking over an entire boat of men to get his cross plus Sarah, risking being seen with him at Midsummers when he was supposed to be undercover, taking a beating from his dad for him, fighting for him at the outdoor movie, being super protective about him anytime he was around Limbrey and Renfield, keeping the secret that Pope was the one who actually sunk the boat and lying to the others, bringing Pope to his cousin Ricky's house to save his life even tho Ricky was still pissed at him for stealing his ambulance.)
And many, MANY, more.
The way we are introduced to JJ who loves and protects Pope but pushes Kie aside
versus
The way they "built up" S3 JJ for a toxic relationship with Kie but as a result of that he has to push Pope aside.
The writers and creators gave us s1 JJ, that's how his character was made and supposed to be portrayed. S3 JJ was built off toxic fans who threatened their way into an unfortunate canon ship.
Toxic stans = Toxic ship.
You Jiara stans wonder why JJ felt out of character, or why the Jiara chemistry felt forced or fake. That's because it was.
You can't force chemistry.
All the OBX cast did chemistry reads to see which duos worked together as a couple and which didn't. But the one duo that did not do a chemistry read was JJ and Kie (Rudy and Madi)
why?
because the creators saw no need. as they weren't even thinking of getting those two characters together. JJ was supposed to end up with Cleo. That was one of the many reasons Cleo came back as a main character.
What they would do with Kie and Pope, I don't know and I don't care. But Any ending would have been better than canon Jiara.
Anywaysssss
JJ treats Pope like he's his partner
and
JJ treats Kie like she's his sister
But let's be honest...we all see that, don't we?
Editor's note: Sry this took so long lol, life's been busy :)
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frodothefair · 6 months ago
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hello!! I have a few questions about hobbit relationships. For one, I've read a lot of stuff where people say that hobbit's aren't shy and have a couple partners in their lives, but I've also gotten the impression that they can be sort of conservative and private about their love lives, what would your take be on this? Would they like public displays of affection? Would they keep it in their smials? And, courting rituals/things considered romantic, what do you think that would look like? I've read that going on walks and eating food/feeding each other are pretty classic for hobbits, and also building gardens are pretty big proposals/wedding gifts, are there any other traditions you headcanon or have seen yourself? Thank you so much for having this, it helps a lot;-; expect to see more of me in the future lol!
💐 ASK ME about my headcanons about hobbits and the Shire! 💐
Ah, dearest gentle reader! Welcome to my inbox! I am so glad you have found your way to my humble abode. Have a seat, have some tea and seed cake, and make yourself at home, for in honor of the new season of Bridgerton, we shall talk about love, courtship, and marriage in the Shire! (@konartiste, I think you'll enjoy the Bridgerton parallels)
First things first. I base what I imagine to be true on Tolkien's own portrayal of the hobbits as a caricature of British country dwellers in the early 20th century. I will derive my answers from both book-canon and movie-canon.
Let’s begin with your question about whether hobbits are shy and conservative. If we go off the early 20th century rural Britain hypothesis, then the answer is yes and no. There are certainly higher standards of propriety than we are used to in our society; however, by dint of being rural and closer to the earth so to speak, they are more relaxed than, say, the denizens of a city like Minas Tirith. For instance, premarital sex is generally frowned upon, but since there are many cozy barns, haystacks, and woods, as well as dark corners in sprawling smails, you can bet that it happens anyway, and everyone knows it, but does not speak of it except in whispers.
Similarly, there is friendship and courtship, and men and women share many daily tasks and mingle easily, but there is nothing like casual dating as we understand it. Courtship almost always has marriage in mind -- which is why Rosie was unhappy with Sam for making her wait so long: if you do not see yourself marrying someone, you simply remain friends or move on, and it is improper and disrespectful to do otherwise. In addition, with regard to public displays of affection, there are at least two instances of hobbits kissing in public in The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit movies, so walking hand in hand and a light kiss here and there are probably acceptable, but certainly nothing more than that -- or else the old ladies minding their carts at the market will have a thing or two to say to your momma. (Pronounced mom-MAH).
Now, speaking of mommas, let's move on to the topic of marriage.
Based on Tolkien's family trees in the appendices of Lord of the Rings, it seems that hobbits marry only once, since there are no documented remarriages that I know of, and since hobbits are hardy and live long lives in a peaceful land of plenty, young widows and widowers are likely rare. So to answer your question about whether hobbits have multiple partners, I'm afraid I don't know where that notion comes from. Certainly, it is likely that they court multiple people in search for a love match, but it seems that once they marry, they typically marry for life. Indeed, hobbit marriages are often so successful precisely because they marry for love. Everyone in the Shire, even those of more modest means, generally have everything they need, and hobbits are not overly ambitious, so marrying for resources or protection or to climb the social ladder is not very common -- at least, those are not the main reasons for getting married, but rather a nice side-benefit.
That said, however, marriage is still considered a boon and a virtue, and most hobbits seek to get married, with bachelors and spinsters being uncommon. (Tolkien said so himself). As a result, there is something of a thriving marriage mart in the Shire, to help along those who are unable to find a mate by their own means.
The marriage mart, of course, is a far cry from that of Bridgerton in its glamor, but it does consist of a network of well-meaning mommas who talk among themselves and decide which young people might make a good match, and seek to introduce them to one another. This may involve inviting the prospective partner and their parent(s) over for tea, and having the young people socialize in that setting first, and as time goes on, encouraging them to spend more time together. In addition, the selfsame mommas often organize dinners, dances, and other festivals around Midsummer, the Harvest Festival, and Yule, and those lively occasions are unofficial opportunities for young people to dance, eat, and meet partners they would not otherwise encounter.
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In general, there are three social classes in the Shire -- with the distinction between them being not-too-rigid: the working class (people like the Gamgees and the Cottons, who work the land or have a trade), the middle-class (families like the Bagginses: wealthier, conformists, may be involved in more intellectual work such as law or medicine) and the upper/ruling classes (the Tooks and Brandybucks, roughly equivalent to titled nobles, who can be as quirky as they please). Each class has its own events, and while they are not strictly segregated and it is not uncommon for the likes of Bilbo of the Old Took to have a party and invite everyone, there is generally more mingling between the upper and middle classes, and they are correspondingly more likely to marry each other.
Now, when it comes to courting on the way to marriage, there are two ways that it might begin..
At times, there is a parent (usually a momma) putting forth a child as a candidate for courtship, in which case there is the custom of inviting a prospective partner and their parent (again, usually a momma) to a meal at one's house -- or coming over to their house with food. The party initiating the courtship is the one who brings the food, and usually it is made by the prospective partner to showcase their skills as a potential spouse. After that, the other party is expected to reply with an invitation in kind -- or not. If they don't wish to court any further, they simply send a kind thank you note, but no reciprocal invitation. That way, everyone is on the same page, but nobody loses face.
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And then, on the other hand, there is the self-initiated courtship, which is generally less structured. The only universally accepted signal is to ask your prospective partner to Go For A Walk. Being asked for a walk is the equivalent to being asked on a date in our world, and can generally be initiated by either party, though men are of course more often the ones to make the first move. Of note, the walk by definition cannot have a specific destination, except after a few "ordinary" walks, the courting couple might choose to have a picnic -- this would be the equivalent of going on a fancy dinner in our world. A walk with a picnic at its conclusion may also accompany milestone events, such as anniversaries or a formal marriage proposal.
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Which brings me to our last topic -- the question of engagements and weddings. This can certainly be a post onto itself, so I'll try to keep it brief. I certainly agree that a garden can be an excellent engagement or wedding present, but in addition to this, hobbits do usually exchange smaller gifts of some kind as a token of their commitment: most often pieces of jewelry, either heirloom or made to order. This transcends all social classes. In general, hobbits do not use rings, because they do use their hands quite a bit at the very least for cooking, but choker style necklaces for women, and bracelets or lapel pins for men are quite common. As for the family's wedding presents, both sides strive to help the young couple set up house, and the wedding planning is a collaborative effort. Weddings generally take place in the summer, since a mass of flowers is nothing short of obligatory. Gifts are formally presented and speeches abound, and one challenge that comes with "unequal" marriages is that one side may be embarrassed if their gifts seem paltry in comparison. As a result, it is not uncommon, if there is an unequal marriage, for the more wealthy side to give the less wealthy side some funds to get more suitable gifts.
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(As a fun bonus and a shameless plug, check out this excerpt my fic about the Shire's efforts at matchmaking Frodo!)
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sualne · 7 months ago
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hii! honeslty just curious, I read/watched kuroshitsuji AGES ago and I don't think I've finished the manga anyway, does grell go by she/her?? I vageuly remember ppl headcanonning them as enby though iirc in canon he's a guy?
Your tags peaked my curiosity, I haven't seen any Kuro content in a hot minute, but I remember it being the absolute must watch in my peak anime watching years lol And I absolutely loved the manga's artstyle
in canon grell is a trans woman, yana toboso has said something like "grell is a man with a woman's heart" ages ago and sometimes around 2014/16 had tweeted something about wanting to be more careful with her representation of people like grell in the future, don't quote me on that thought because i only read that tweet once and only remember reading a shitty screenshot of a translation of that interview where she allegedly said that.
i can however show you this:
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it's from a bonus chapter (after chapter 108) about the popularity polls (it's a very convoluted non canon chapter) but it's one of the most blatant example of her being trans.
there's also the way she constantly refers to herself as a "young maiden" ect. idk how it goes exactly in the og but in french they translated it so grell always refers to herself with feminine terms while everyone else misgender her including the narrator. she very consistently reaffirm herself as a woman through every single ones of her appearances, like it's a thing she very much does, every single time she's on screen.
i haven't watched the anime in forever (cause it's kind of a disgrace and insult to the manga lol) but if i remember properly (which i mostly likely don't) they did omit/lowkey censor some of grell explicitly going "i wish i had been born a woman/could have been able to carry children" when she first properly introduce herself as a shinigami & the other half of jack the killer. (the anime also really did lean a lot more into the pervert queer caricature whereas in the manga she's given a bit more dignity, especially the further the story goes. though that might be my own impression and maybe it didn't change that much i just love her a whole lot).
also because i have to, please forget the anime (the first two seasons that is) and read the manga first and foremost because oh boy, what a disaster the anime is (nostlagia and atmosphere wise it's entertaining, i really love the op & ed, but it just, i just cant man it doesn't even compare to the manga at all). only watch book of circus -> book of murder -> campania movie -> the new private school arc that's coming soon (idk what they called it) after reading the manga.
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goodluckclove · 7 months ago
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ok ok ok Clove i need to know: who are some of the best writers here in your opinion ? who do i need to follow if i want to follow the next generation of great writers ? i need new blogs to follow
oh shit let's party.
first off i can't say that i know all the best writers here. i'm still learning! also, maybe i like things you don't. the usual disclaimer. but i'll still take the chance to rave about some of the immense brilliance of some of my colleagues on here!
first of is @ivaspinoza, who is the first person to send me her writing the very first time i asked. she writes the most beautiful, almost prophetic word pieces. not quiet prose, not entirely poetry. it's language you can really seep yourself in like a heated milk bath. she's working on a longform vampire novel in the same style which i have seen snippets of and it is truly incredible. love her dearly.
i'm actually in the middle of Song of the Heartless by @rkmoon, because he was hesitating to post it and i harassed him into sending it to me. and oh man, it's great. really solid premise and a world that feels vibrant and expansive and also shit because it's kind of dystopian and the vibes are not great. obviously as another aspec writer i love the representation. it's great to read yourself on the page and still see your struggles draped in thematic excitement. i can't say any more without spoiling it but i really want to. this could easily be a fucking great movie adaptation.
i feel insane pointing you towards @godsmostfuckedupgoblin because he doesn't really post his writing as far as i know but he's got some of the best mastery of dialogue i've seen in non-published writing and his excerpts are always so exciting and fun to read. maybe if enough people him to share more he will but until then his memes are lit as a child has once said before.
@stajorathefallen is working on a longform Lord of the Rings fic that is truly beautiful. I would rather read this finished product than the actual Lord of the Rings. I don't know if she'll find that a compliment or a war crime, but it's just nicer. It feels warm and cozy to read. I actually don't even know if it's referenced the original canon at all since I saw the movies but didn't pay attention. I was not qualified to look at this fic but I got to anyway and it's great.
@cssnder is someone else who doesn't post enough writing, but my hope is with enough confidence she'll branch more into sharing. Literally every time she drops a line everyone's like huh?? wow!! and then she whispers a thanks and disappears back into the catacombs. if you like dark academia based on tiktok you should follow her to see what those tiktoks wish they could capture.
this is obviously not everyone. these are not even all the people that sent me writing to look at. i have two separate emails that i still need to marry, some people are still in the egg-cracking stage of being a writer, and my adderal can only do so much. if you aren't one of these people just know that you are amazing and you need to post more of your work so i can point people to your page please thank you i love you.
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wildglitch · 7 months ago
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A long Side tangent for the WIZ!Spidey x DCU AU
A longish post on what I think happened to the other dimension travelers. This is gonna be semi canon with the other heros! Timeline I sometimes mention. This means some of what I say is canon, some might be subject to change, while others I have decided to write total bs for.
And YK what the best part is? You get to figure out which one is which :D
Since this is gonna be focusing on a lot of other characters that aren't Peter, this is gonna be a bit longer so the characters can get at least one paragraph to them.
This is mostly gonna be off the top of my head since I only know what happens to Loki, T'challa and Bruce. The others I'm gonna figure out as we go, so we are doing this together
Anyways- let's start.
-Ok so lets break this into sections
Main canon: the one every post is talking about unless I say otherwise. Yk, the main au
Other Heros: the au where I add characters that didn't show up in the show, but canonically they do exist in the main MCU timeline so theoretically they could also survive. Yk, the Daredevil au I wrote a bit about where everyone dies, this is if they live
Absolut BS: Is there gonna be bs in the other sections? Yes. Is there gonna be anything serious in this one? Absolutely not. This is for those sweet non canon MCU characters. I try to stick to canon as much as possible, but sometimes I get an idea so good I wanna add it, but refuses cause I gotta lay in the bed I made for myself (it's fine lol). This is for stuff we know aren't canon or are very heavily implied not to be in the MCU. Yk, for funsies, (and cause team red is missing its degenerate, yes Im weak Im sorry! Deadpool you still aint canon to this until your movie comes out! You too Logan!)
With those out of the way, lets start of with the
Main Canon
-So, starting off simple are the people on the ship. T'achalla in my opinion, looking at the movies, is weaker than Peter. And since Peter dies in most of his crashes if there is no interference, the answer is clear to see. After all, the black guy always dies first :^
...MOVING ON-
No, uhh, to not just leave it like that cause, yes, it's sad- I like to think that if he dies then his ancestors and powers let him transcend a bit to the point of minor godhood. Meaning that if there were ever a godly meeting the avatars had to attend to, Peter would be in for a big surprise
-Scott, wtf happened to you bro-
He survives due to the fact he had the cloak of levitation, he has no clue what happened and due to his lower weight, gets blown away by the wind, never to be seen again. So sad
...anyways he ended up in a box-
No clue how he got there. He just knows that one minute he was disoriented as hell in the sky, the next he's stuck in some crate in some magic labyrinth with no hope of rescue. Long story short, he's stuck there for many, many months.
Scott: How Am I Still Alive!?
-Bruce is the Hulk when he gets chucked into the DCU, he's also at an old abandoned military base...why are there people here?
Ya so, apparently the abandoned base he was Hulking out at against a bunch of Zombies, wasn't so abandoned in the DCU. In Fact it's one of, if not the most top secret base there is in the U.S military. So imagine with me, this X foot tall green beast appears out of nowhere and is in some sort of rampage at this super secure military base. You're welcome, I just put Bruce on the Villains list. I can see a few JL members or maybe some YJ kids showing up and dealing with him. And since we know that Hulk is sentient enough to make friends and enemies, Hulk is sent to some top of the line prison while Bruce is unconscious in the back seat. The JL try to interrogate him, but they only get vage half formed sentences about being weak (not a good look) people (Valkyrie, his best bro, is very much missed) and a mission (protect spider...Batman filed that one away for later)
-Bucky...Ha! No
I've proven to myself that I like his character enough to make him important to Peter's Character and the Plot (since when is there plot-) so Ima save him for another post.
-Thor (+Rocket and Groot)
These 3 didn't get split up, Surprisingly. They end up traveling through Africa (yes, the whole thing) trying to find their way back. Thor in his depressive state, keeps fighting and trying to find a way to his brother, since he could tell that whatever happened to them, it happened because of Loki.
Rocket and Groot are just there, since they're aliens who have never been to Earth before, they are just treating it like that. Though they do know something happened and they aren't really in the same place as before, they aren't struggling as much as the Earth natives. Thor is also having an easier time, but he keeps forgetting he isn't well known here. It's actually a bit refreshing.
Think of it like a road trip DnD adventure as they travel through Africa then Europe then Asia, trying to find his brother but having no clue where to go. Saving people and gaining a sort of reputation as “That nice aussie that saves people'' alongside “The raccoon and Groot” (Everyone loves Groot)
Rocket Is a good dad and is just there protecting Groot and scamming people. And Groot discovers the internet. They continue to save people because that's what they did with their family, so they will continue to do that even if they can tell it's just the two of them again.
-Loki, my God…you sneaky shit-
When I tell you, Loki dropped in the middle of a league meeting. Im telling you, he dropped in the MIDDLE OF A LEAGUE MEETING! JL Light, JL Dark, YJ, the Titans, literally everyone was there! Why? 1. The league has a yearly meeting where they try to get every superhero team and hero esc people in the room so they can touch base. 2. Loki's magic…scared the hell out of them. The meeting was really soon and all of a sudden they get a really strong magic signature tearing reality apart? Yeah, they are gonna move the meeting up by a week to see what the heck is going on. Only for this British fuck to drop onto the table just ozzing out the energy they where Looking for. Yeah, you can bet all hell broke loose. 
Loki gets locked in a cell on the tower as they try to figure out who he is, but they have absolutely no experience with his realitys magic so they can't get anything off of him. Some of the more godly inclined (Captain Marvel) can tell that he's a god from another universe, but comes to the conclusion that it's best to just let things play out. 
Loki:...
CM:...
Loki: you’re quite the interesting child
CM: nOPE! You’re on your own. Good luck with that.
The hero's try interrogating him, trying to find out what he wants, and Loki is just like “nuh uh” and is just enjoying his time in his cell like the chaos god he is. Obviously he's playing all of them and getting info off of every single one of them, figuring out slowly where the other people could be and sending Peter to investigate the leads. Could he escape? Absolutely, he has walked to the kitchen more times than he cares to mention. Will he leave? No, he is in the most strategically useful place at the moment so he will stay there screwing with Batman until the League get bored of interrogating him. There are moments where they think he means no harm, and while that is true, it also means they might kick him from the tower, and he can't have that. Besides, scaring the Flash in front of everyone to keep his danger status is just so much fun.
And that everyone that should be in the Main Canon, onto
Canon Divergents: Other Heros.
Ok, so I like to think, personally, that everyone on this list died a horrible gruesome death before the episode started. But I can tell that some people like to keep them alive, and what is this if not just us having fun right? So this is a little “what if '' of the “what if ''. I don't know why they weren't in the episode, maybe they left, maybe they thought they were dead, maybe they were on another mission, who knows, you choose. But like I said, this is for fun so I’ll let you lil’ brains figure it out.
Lets start of with
-Kamala Khan. Ok so with this, Ima play with the timeline again. We never get confirmation if she blipped or not, but I don't think so(correct me if I'm wrong). So looking at her age I’d say she's around 16? In the year 2024 (holy shit thats this year-) so in 2018 when the blip/ the episode happened she would have been 10-11
You see my vision? Little 10 year old Kamala was possibly one of the youngest kids of the group, so her getting chucked into the DCU can only land her in one place. Foster care. You can make the argument that months of zombies made her jaded and able to survive the apocalypse and thus the streets considering I gave her the bangles. But I honestly think she was found right away and protected by everyone because of her age no matter the fact she has the bangle. She’s so small, it doesn't even fit her right. I think she's still a sweet, excitable little girl that is traumatized, but spent most of her time at the base being protected and cheering the others up.
 So, her being this excitable and happy gets placed into many foster homes. But she also has trauma and issues so the family realizing she's not an “easy” kid sends her back, moving her around a lot. I can totally see Peter actually finding her but the only thing keeping him from getting to her is the constant address changes and his lack of funds. 
-Darcy Lewis is truly in her 2 broke girls era as she takes the Identity of “Max” and starts working at a shitty Cafe.
-Moon Knight system
Remember how I said that only Jake was present for the Zombie Apocalypse? Well-
M: 8 MONTHS!?
S: Where are we!
M: 8 months!
S: What happened?
M: 8. Months.
S: Why weren't we here! Wait as second we- who are you 2?!
M: 8. Months…
S: Ahhhhhhhhh
J: *end me now* ( o_o)
Ya so instead of them trying to find the others, the 3 of them are actually trying to learn how to live with each other. The multiple Identities and accents are throwing Peter off
-Barton children
Ok Ima rapid fire this
Lila: somehow ends up with the arrows and being her fathers daughter, shows them up. Artimist likes her a lot
Cooper: He ends up in (you decide) city, and being his mothers son, starts doing some spy shit trying to find the others.
Nathen: lil’ baby somehow showed up at the Kents farm instead of his, and they sort of just …*adopt*. He's good friends with Jon.
Bonus points: Pizza dog is found as a Puppy by the kid and adopted as “emotional support” and “I must protect this poor dog, he doesn't have an eye for pete's sake!”
(These can not all happen, you gotta pick one kid for your hc cause I refuse to let all of the kids live no matter the au. The angst potential is the best part people)
-Last but not least Matt
He was found by a Church, the church sent him to the hospital, the hospital called him insane and sent by a psych ward, the psych ward said nope and sent him to arkham. He's pissed about it but like the reasonable guy he is, understands. Lots of the guys in there call him a “wanna be batman”.
He has no clue who that is but he is deeply offended.
I can totally see Peter finding him within a few days of looking and just going to visit him under the guise that he's his son. 
Peter:...
Matt: …
Peter: *glare*
Matt: soooo, how have you been?
Peter: I Thought You Were Dead!
Peter cant get Matt out cause Matt keeps beating the other rouges up. Peter is so done with his shit and Matt regrets nothing. That 2 face piece of shit had it coming.
Bonus point for the Batfam finding out Peter’s “Father” is in arkham. Just Bruce and Matt having the most awkward silent meeting. Neither talk for like 15 minutes at first. It's glorious.
+Miles morales. Oh you thought I was done? Tf I am! He's canon to the MCU so I’m rolling with it. Timeline wise, I’d say he's about 6-8 years old give or take. He can either A: get the spider powers and survives just like Peter until they find him, and Peter taking him under his wing, or B: im being the only person Peter could save because…idk, maybe he was having a confrontation with Aaron at his apartment and it turns out Miles was there cause he wanted to go trick or treating with him and is wearing a spiderman custom, awww, and kinda awkward for the two (mostly Aaron). Zombies come in, and Aaron sends Miles with Peter because yk, good Uncle. Yeah that works-
Miles' face is planted right in the center of brooklyn and like the good boy he is, waits for someone he knows to find him, (if lost, wait at the spot you are until they find you). He tells people his guardian is Peter Parker, but since Peter is going under a different allies, they can't find him. But Miles is determined and decides that he needs to stay In Queens so that Peter can find him, he knows he will.
And that wraps up that part which leads us to
Total Bull Shit
Yep, this is for those sweet non MCU canon characters. (No other fandom ones though, I haven't fallen that far from grace) (with this au at leasts)
These are just for the sillies and won't be canon unless they somehow become canon to the MCU (*stares intensely at Deadpool and Wolverine* sooooon)
-Wade Wilson
We all have seen the trailers ok, I see him, he's coming, we have all waited for this. And not only is he coming to the MCU but his reasoning works really well with this fic. He's crossing dimensions to fix the timeline and shit and he somehow gets chucked into this storyline as he's doing it. With his awesome fourth wall breaks, I can just see him showing up in Gotham for a bit, causing shit, and breaking Matt out of Arkham because he wants to do the Team Red thing. I can totally see him being super excited about meeting his first spidey lol. And Peter and Matt are just in a constant state of “wtf” as they deal with this guy that is apparently from the same multiverse and Universe(?) as them. Also, apparently it shouldn't even be possible for them to be in this universe, so that's fun
They warm up to each other and end up having a bit of fun I swear. He wont stay for long cause I can see this as being like a quick side plot in both the AU and the movie as he tries to get back to whatever he's doing.
-Logan. He's there for like a Minute, he gets there trying to get wade back to whatever they are doing, and ends up getting stuck too. Peter and Matt help them get back to whatever they were doing and when they offer a way back to their home, they say no for a number of reasons. Logan still ends up giving them a dimension hopping thing just in case.
-Andrew!Spidey from the main timeline NWH. Techincally hes canon, but hes also kinda owned by Sony so ima let this slide. Hes there for like just a minunte ok- he gets pulled into Deadpools And Wolverings Shit and decides “Fuck it, we ball” and helps the out. He sees little WIZ!Peter and thinks, “Holy shit, I just saw you!” and tells Peter about the weird shit he just went through with the other version of him and Peter is just amazed. Like “wow, a world where my friends are alive, a world where no Zombies came and destroyed the lives of the people I love. A world where I got to have more time with aunt May….must be nice”
Sorry-
Also- *has flashbacks to Andrew Garfield and Ryan Renolds kissing and the canonical list of people Deadpool is allowed to cheat with. ( o_o)
DP: heya hot stuff
A!S: No.
DP: yes
Wiz!P: Wtf is happening
DD: Look away kid
*Deadpool and Spidey comic dynamic of full display*
-Harry Osborn.
Peter: Hey Harry, who are those guys?
Harry: idk, my dad is working with these biochemists for a company from Russia. I think the name was some Greek monster? I don't really care. 
Peter: Oh ok, I'm gonna say hi to them
Harry: Sure, but be mindful of the creatures they’re working on
Peter: Got it!
Boom there’s your origin story. Peter just wanted to say hi to the nice looking Hydra agent and Harry let him.
Could we have him be hobgoblin alongside Peter when they are in gotham? Sure. Have it be like a nice spider that does no harm and his mean goblin bodyguard. Except it's the spider who can truly kick your ass. Also, just the absolut drama these 2 can have with each other is just *chefs kiss*
-Gwen Stacy
Just- just Gwen dude. Maybe she's from the DCU and they have a meet cute at a coffee shop. Maybe Peter Meets this super cute girl hiding out in a lab in the middle of the apocalypse. Maybe she's dead. Idk, idc, I love Gwen’s and Peter’s dynamic in TASM movies and I can see a traumatized dark humor version with these 2. Just give Peter his Girlfriend pls 
-Johnny Storm is one of Peter's best superhero friends in the comics. Spidey's first appearance is also in a FF comic, so it just feels right. Just integrate that into the story and you're golden. I can see them having inside jokes and stuff no one will ever get cause “you had to be there”.
-Nova, because I'm pulling from my experience with the 2012 show. No, I bring him in because I think it could add not only to Peter's character but also rockets and groots, considering they just heard the Xandar was destroyed, and all of a sudden they find this kid with an old bucket. They’re gonna get some feels, small as they might be.
Also, the ultimate 2012 team may have treated Peter like shite, but with better writing and stuff, these 2 could have been good friends. Sadly that doesn't really translate that well in the show imo.
Uhhhhh, anyone else for this monster of a post? No. Ok cool-
Idk when I'm gonna post the next part of the main lore stuff, but I'm gonna post this and some DC p.o.v's to flesh out some stuff. I might also post a bit of art and another fic in between the posts.
This is too long- have fun with this while I go pass out for a bit lol
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sugarygxodness · 1 year ago
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i know hobie age discourse is annoying and frustrating. i've been watching from the sidelines ever since atsv came out and tiktok is being absolutely insufferable about it. i've also seen the plethora of arguments from both sides about it. but i wanted to put in my two cents about hobie's age because it has been yelling for attention inside my heart and i need an outlet for it desperately.
so here is my official warning. ⚠️ if you don't want anything to do with the hobie age discourse, please ignore this post ⚠️ (i doubt anyone is going to see this post anyway)
first of all, i ship punkflower. i respect chaipunk as well, though i do not ship it. when i was watching atsv, it never occured to me that hobie would be older than the spidergang by any more than 2 years. so it boggles my mind that people left their theatre thinking hobie was any older than 19 years old??
second, as i've mentioned, i have seen the plethora of arguments coming from both sides. i have heard (incessantly) about the director talking about early concept hobie being 19/20 years old. i always always take early concepts with a grain of salt because that is what they are - early concepts. from the conception of the spiderverse trilogy, a lot of stuff can change. we know that even though early concept hobie was 19/20 years old, his age is now "up for interpretation". all of us were not in the writing room when they came up with hobie. none of us can say for sure what hobie's age is. so let's leave it at that - hobie's age is up for interpretation. i have also seen people talking about hobie being bitten at 16 years old in the comics and in the movies he says he has been spiderman for 3 years. quick maths - that makes hobie 19? well, maybe. it is also important to note that movie adaptations of comics very often leave out or change information. they do this all the time. they even did it with miles. in the comics, miles morales gets bitten at the age of 13. but in the movies, miles get bitten when he was a freshman in visions academy, 15 years old. if they changed that fact about miles from the comics to the movie adaptation, who's to say they did not do the exact same thing to hobie or any other character? using comic book canon to apply to movie canon is always iffy. across the mcu, there are many many comic details that get changed or left out for the movies. this is just something i want everyone to keep in mind.
third, this is my main point. i'm going to talk about hobie's age from a storytelling point of view. keep in mind, i am not a writer. i do not have any experience writing or making original characters. i just like overanalysing creative aspects of media that i consume and i also briefly studied literature in school. if there is anything you would like to counter about my upcoming argument or add to it, i would love to see it.
from a storytelling point of view, hobie being old than 18 years old makes absolutely NO sense. if we look at miles' conflict during atsv, his whole thing is that he feels betrayed by the adults in his life because all of them view him as this incapable clueless kid who needs to be protected. his parents, while being unaware of his identitiy as spiderman, are too protective of him and doubt everything that he does. while they eventually start to accept the idea of letting their child grow up, they only start doing so when miles is already stuck in another universe. the adults in the spider society betray miles too. miles, upon meeting more spiderpeople, probably thought that they would understand him more than his own parents could. however, the adults in spider society still look down on him and treat him like a child. this is especially evident in peter b, who constantly emphasises that miles "doesn't know any better". miles is 16 (in atsv) and while that IS technically a child, those rules don't really apply to spiderpeople. after all, though he is technically a child, he watched his uncle aaron die right in front of his eyes, he saved the multiverse, and he saves brooklyn from crime every single day. as unfortunate as it is, miles has had to grow up a lot faster than the average kid. miles views himself as an extremely capable spiderman, but it feels like nobody else agrees with him. that is miles' conflict throughout atsv.
so it makes no sense that miles feels constantly betrayed by the adults in his life, yet one of the members of the spidergang that he is surrounded with in atsv is an adult? the whole point is that he feels he cannot depend on the adults in the spider society, so therefore it makes sense that his closest allies (gwen, pav, hobie) would be teenagers. making hobie an adult completely throws this theme out of balance.
furthermore, i hear people say hobie holds a mentor role in miles' life. i disagree. peter b held a mentor role in itsv. this was when miles was newly bitten, had no idea how to use his new powers, and had just lost the only other spiderman he knew. in atsv, miles has grown very well into his role as spiderman. he developed his own spiderman techniques, learned how to use his venom shock and invisibility in an effective way, and successfully saves brooklyn from crime every day. this miles does not need a mentor. this miles feels betrayed by the people he thought he could trust. this miles needs allies. that is what hobie is to miles in atsv.
to me, the r/s between hobie and miles in atsv is very reminiscent of the r/s between a new transfer student in highschool and an upperclassman. imagine this - miles just moved to a new unfamiliar environment and is a transfer student in a highschool where he knows nobody. hobie spots him, somehow decides to help him out, and gives him the ultimate tour of the school. not the proper "this is the gymnasium, we hold our pep rallies here" tour that the student council body would give miles. nah, his tour is more like "this is the best place to smoke weed without getting caught. this bathroom is almost exclusively for hooking up. this teacher once called me out for plagiarism, so he sucks." then he pats miles on the shoulder and tells him that he's got his back. if anyone tried to give him shit, hobie will not hesitate to make their lives hell. this is how i interpret hobie and miles' r/s in atsv. he is not a mentor!!! miles is capable enough to be spiderman without a mentor!!!
lastly, this isn't exactly my place to talk about it, but i have heard a lot of black people talk about how a lot of people place harmful stereotyping and adultification on hobie. and the infuriating tendency for people to be against poc ships rather than white ships. and that is A LOT of food for thought. that's all :)
i ended up writing a lot more than i thought i would. clearly i care too much. oh well atsv brainrot era go brrr
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theloopus · 1 year ago
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I finally watched mirror image a few minutes ago and I do not know what to say. Your sam in drag video got me to start watching QL a few months ago and by accident I'd also seen it mentioned that Sam never got home while looking up the show, but I didn't care at the time since I didn't know what that even meant. I got through 3 seasons in a month and then a started to slow down because I realized I was running out of episodes, so I slowly got through the fourth season. One I got to the fifth, I had to take a long break. I knew that the episode quality would decline since id seen you mention on Twitter once that you don't even consider them canon, but I was not expecting how difficult it would be to get though. I could only watch ten minutes of each trilogy episode a day, it was unbearable. But I bet you don't really care about all of this so let me get to the point. I had to pause the screen where it said Sam never got home. I don’t know how to feel and I'm so confused. I've looked through the episode wiki and the imdb episode trivia and I still want to know more. Whenever you mentioned stuff about Mirror image on here or on Twitter I always scrolled past it quickly to avoid spoilers, but now I can barely find anything regarding it, so I was wondering if I could hear your thoughts on the episode. Was the bartender God? Did you like Sam's choice to sacrifice his returning home for Al's happiness? Just, what are your thoughts on it? Thank you for introducing me to this wonderful show and these wonderful characters ❤
omg this is so much. i'm gonna put these under a read more because "what are your thoughts on Mirror Image" is a LOADED question with a controversial answer. i am so incredibly normal about Quantum Leap.
first of all i love that "binging the first three seasons like a starving lunatic then slowing down with the fourth because you realize you're gonna run out of episodes and then season 5 is just so bad on top of that you take ages to finish it" is such a universal experience. it truly is just a rough season to get through. which is a shame! and trilogy.... oh trilogy............. what the fuck was that.............
anyway, mirror image is an episode that makes me kind of insane. the thing is that. i don't know how to put this exactly. mirror image is complicated. in my eyes it's
a really, really good and interesting episode
not a at all a satisfying wrap-up for the show
really not a good series finale for the type of show they were trying to make at the time they were making it as tv functioned back then
a perfect finale for the quantum leap that exists in my mind that i've built from the subtext and character beats and unintentional lore/themes/motifs
because quantum leap the tv show from the 80s is a politically liberal, episodic science fiction adventure tv show from the 80s/90s, and the way these sort of tv shows works, there is an unspoken pact with the audience that they should have satisfying, relatively happy endings. romcoms should end with the leads getting together. superhero movies should end with the good guy defeating the bad guy. detective shows should end with the detective catching the criminal. and a tv show in which every episode ends with the good guy succeeding to put right what once went wrong, solving the conflict, and giving everyone a happy ending, should end with the good guy getting a happy ending himself.
but the quantum leap that exists in my mind and i've built from the subtext and character beats and unintentional lore, themes, and motifs is a Tragedy. it's a story about martyrdom, and saints, and sacrifice, and blind faith, and God, and trauma, and being stuck in the past because of that trauma.
Tragedy, as a genre, is characterized by this: the main character is doomed by the narrative from the beginning because of who they are inherently. whereas in another narrative their traits might've been assets, might've helped them succeed, in this narrative, it's what dooms them (ex. Hamlet's indecisiveness vs Juliet's impulsiveness). and, god, i ADORE Sam Beckett as a tragic hero: his defining characteristic is that he's "terminally good—if it was up to you, you'd save everyone!", and i'm obsessed with the use of "terminal" here, because it is that relentless goodness that ends up dooming him. Sam is Jesus, he's Saint Sebastian, he's Joan of Arc. God chose him to be sent on this divine journey, to help people, to save people from their own fates, to save humanity—at the cost of his own humanity, his own life. at the beginning, he says: "i can't have a life, all i do is live someone else's life!" and in Mirror Image he's still clinging to the hope of going home, at first, because he really does want to go home, more than anything. but then his arc is completed when he realizes it: he's never going home. this kind of journey doesn't have an ending. there are always more people to save. you might be able to take the weekends off, but you can't just quit the job of being God's chosen one. and in the end, he was never going to, because the reason why he was chosen is that he's terminally good. that if it was up to him, he'd save everyone. quitting would mean God knows how many people that needed saving won't be saved, and if everything we've been told about Sam is true, he wouldn't be able to live with himself. so he accepts his Celestial role, leaves Al behind with a parting gift, and disappears into the sands of time the way the Little Mermaid throws herself into the ocean and dissolves into seafoam.
the fascinating thing about Sam, actually, is that this terminal goodness perfectly coexists with the fact that he's also very selfish. in this way, Al is his perfect mirror: in his own words, Al looks out only for himself; he would not go out of his way to help a stranger at the cost of his own life because he's fought fucking hard and sacrificed too much for that life—and yet that's exactly what he's doing by helping Sam, by being the Sancho and Dulcinea to his Don Quixote, putting his own life aside to be there for Sam 24/7. because he loves him. romantically or platonically, however you choose to read their relationship, it's undeniable that Al loves Sam to a devotional degree. meanwhile Sam is riddled with guilt over not being there for his dad when he died, over "abandoning" him to pursue his own studies and interests—and then he proceeds to do exactly that to Al by stepping into the Accelerator, and then fucking again by doing what he does in Mirror Image.
i have so many frankly insane thoughts about what Sam does to Al in Mirror Image (hilarious unintentional wording sorry. unfortunately he does not fuck that old man quite the opposite.) and i am very much channeling them into a long, rambling, experimental post-canon fic, thank you very much. but the gist of it is that like... ok, taking your own words, it's very interesting that you said Sam is "sacrificing his returning home for Al's happiness", because that's not quite the way i see it. Sam was never going to return home. what he's doing for Al is, at least in his mind, setting him free and leaving him a parting gift.
ok so: Sam learns that his journey does not have an end, and he will never go home. throughout this entire journey thus far, Al has been his loyal companion, helper, and guardian angel. "i don't know if i can make it without you Al" "i don't wanna hear that you can't make it! of course you can. if you had to." but Al is just that, a companion (one that is 20 years older than Sam, worth mentioning)—someone who Sam unintentionally burdened with the role of helper. but where Sam is going, Al can't follow. he just can't keep following Sam around forever—Sam wouldn't want that for him. he wants Al to be happy, and for Al to be happy, he needs his own life back, and he needs the main wrong in his life righted—Beth.
...that's how Sam sees it, at least. because, as mentioned before, Sam may be good, but he's also selfish. it's very ironic, and juicy, to me, that he keeps repeating the same mistake over and over, with everyone he loves the most (his family and Al): consistently underestimating how much people love him, and leaving without saying goodbye. he's so obsessed with Saving Al that he fails to consider that maybe Al, who has a very specific and strong trauma about being abandoned by the people he loves the most, as much as he might be thrilled at having Beth back, might not appreciate 1. Sam not consulting him in the decision to completely turn his whole life and timeline upside down 2. Sam disappearing without a trace without saying goodbye or offering him any sort of closure in their very intense, very codependent relationship 3. having to sort of like... pay the price for having Beth by losing Sam, as if these two people, the two people he's loved the most in his entire life, were interchangeable.
and, to be fair, this part of the analysis does seem like a bit of a stretch if you've only seen the canonical ending of the show as it aired and not the original 'lost' ending that they ended up cutting for Reasons, but which i absolutely consider to be canon and the "real" ending of the show.
god, okay, i probably could have many more things to say about this if prompted, but that should be the gist of it, i believe. hopefully i'm not forgetting anything? did you know there's actually multiple alternate endings they wrote for different real-life scenarios Just In Case, including one where Sam and Al would go to space and Al would be a leaper and Sam would be a time traveler in his own body if they got picked up for a sixth season? i'm obsessed with it.
as for Al the Bartender? my fun little theory is that he's not God, or Time, or Fate, or an alien, or any of those things—in a way, in-universe, he's all of them at once.
he's The Narrative personified.
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bg-11 · 3 days ago
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Ripping into TCW's A Friend in Need, in which every character is awful.
I'm going to be upfront about this: I do not care for TCW, I never really have. See, I've always been a big stickler for continuity, even as a kid, and by this point there was *plenty* of Clone Wars related content that had been set across the whole 3 years of the war. The big issue of course was always Ahsoka, who of course just couldn't neatly slot into that timeframe at all because there were already plenty of comics that made it clear that Anakin never had a Padawan. She was a square peg the writers of TCW had jammed into a square hole. Of course, Ahsoka wasn't the only example, it was clear the writers never really gave a shit about what other, better writers had already established, and so retcons and continuity errors were rife with the series, only increasing as it continued. Exactly the kind of thing I was leery about. I was willing to give it a chance when it first came out, but that optimistic goodwill didn't really last too long.
I watched it on-and-off when it came out to check it out, I didn't want to judge it without having seen it. It was the same when I heard about how obnoxious Karen Traviss' Republic Commando series was, I wanted to see if that was as bad as people were saying it was (it was worse). By Season 4, I was pretty ready to write it off, the retcons were getting bigger and bigger (Even Piell getting killed off before his Canon death in Coruscant Nights, changing Asajj Ventress' backstory and fate contrary to what it was in the Republic comics, treating the Nightsisters as if they were literal witches who could use actual magic, the list goes on, but those were my biggest gripes). One episode that stood out to me though, was A Friend in Need, an episode in which pretty much everyone except for Artoo is stupid, malicious or both. At the time, I thought it was the worst episode of TCW yet. Has that changed since then? Yeah, but I'd still count this episode as the dumbest.
For whatever reason, the episode popped into my head recently after...I don't know how long its been, relatively shortly after the episode aired, I guess? And, I don't know, I guess I wanted to take a jab at picking it apart? I've never really done this before, there've been a couple of times when I've wanted to examine bad media, but for whatever reason, I never really got to it. So, fuck it, better late than never, I guess. So, I rewatched the episode to get it fresh in my mind. As the old EU was still Canon when this aired, I'm putting it through the lens of it still being Canon when I talk about it.
There's a good reason why my friends call me a masochist, I guess.
Things start out on Mandalore, where Ahsoka is escorting Padme, Bail and Mon Mothma in talks with representatives from the Separatist Senate when Lux Bonteri walks in. When I first watched A Friend in Need, I had missed Lux's Introductory episode which also introduced the Separatist Senate, so I was a little confused here. Confused because prior to TCW, there wasn't a Separatist Senate, the Confederacy was solely ruled over by the Separatist Council. Now, there's commentary from Filoni that apparently, the EU writers had misunderstood the purpose of the Separatist Council, that no, they weren't the leaders of the CIS, and that the megacorporation's who made up the CIS were just neutral parties. I have two issues with that, first being that I trust Dave "I sincerely believe this man wants to fuck wolves" Filoni's word about as far as I can throw his furry ass, and two, that isn't how it comes across in the movies at all.
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The leaders of the Trade Federation, Intergalactic Banking Clan, Techno Union and Commerce Guild are all present, outright saying they're pledging their alliance and their armies to the Separatist cause. That they're apparently neutral, uninvolved parties doesn't gel at all, it just seems like a clumsy retcon to me. One of many.
But anyway...
Lux busts in and causes a scene, accusing Count Dooku of murdering his mother, so the Separatist senators have their guards drag him away. Ahsoka, concerned, gets permission from Padme to follow him, as long as she's discrete. Lux is dragged back to the Separatist's shuttle, where a hologram of Dooku appears to gloat a bit, before telling the droids to execute Lux. Why he doesn't just use the Force to choke him, I don't know, all you need is line of sight.
Now, I'd actually misremembered how this scene went down. In my memory, Lux dropped an ion grenade to disable the droids and *then* Ahsoka showed up. Apparently my flawed memory made Lux more competent then he actually is in the episode. How was he actually planning on getting away? We'll get back to that in a moment, but for right now, he's at the battle droid's mercy.
And then Ahsoka intervenes.
Here's another issue I had with Ahsoka, her characterisation. There were a couple of moments that stuck with me that I think are relevant here.
Season 1, episode 19, Storm Over Ryloth: Ahsoka has to learn not to be a reckless, headstrong idiot because she gets her troops killed.
Season 2, episode 1, Holocron Heist: Ahsoka has to learn not to be a reckless, headstrong idiot because she gets her troops killed.
This episode? Ahsoka is a reckless, headstrong idiot who forces her way into a hostile situation, gets the attraction of a bunch of armed droids and leads them back towards the Senate Guards who are stationed at the Republic shuttle, quickly alerts the unaware men that some pissed off droids are on her tail, then boards the shuttle, takes off and flees back to Coruscant, abandoning the Senators she was supposed to be escorting *and* the Senate Guards who are now taking the heat for her.
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Ahsoka is such a shitty bodyguard, Jesus Christ. Getting Lux to safety is a priority, fine, but why does she need to board the ship herself and flee the system entirely? Why not just have Lux board the ship, then go back to help the Senate Guards deal with the battle droids that she *led* there in the first place? They're not just regular battle droids either, they're droid commandos who are supposed to be a lot tougher and smarter than the standard B1 battle droids. We don't see the outcome of this fight, so I presume the Senate Guards won, which, good thing. Because Ahsoka abandoned the Senators she was supposed to be watching over, and I genuinely wouldn't put it past the Separatists to pull something now that these peace talks have collapsed because of what Ahsoka did. They were never going to work out anyway of course, given Sidious' whole purpose behind the Clone Wars, but the characters aren't aware of that.
Anakin gets in contact and when Lux tries to apologise with "Master Jedi, I'm sorry if I've caused you any trouble." ("If" you caused trouble? "If"?)
Ahsoka tries to brush it off with "It's nothing." Uh, no, it's not. See the above paragraphs for why it *is* a big deal, and I can't see Anakin of all people being too happy with Padme being left in a dangerous situation like that. But I guess we're brushing past that, cool.
Ahsoka points out how dumb Lux's plan was, saying he would have been killed if she hadn't intervened (true). Then Lux says no, actually, he *did* have a plan, then he pulls out a taser and stuns Ahsoka. Seriously? His plan was to go in, confront Dooku, hoping that he'd send a transmission just to gloat (apparently he "knew" he would, but why? He could just have easily been shot by the battle droids), and he went in there armed with a dinky little taser? Brilliant plan, I'm sure that would have done *wonders* against a squad of droid commandos all armed with blasters.
Ahsoka wakes up hours later aboard the shuttle with just Artoo, her lightsabers missing. She goes out to talk to Lux and finds out the contacts he's meeting are the Death Watch, that Mandalorian supremacist group of terrorists who are awful even by Mandalorian standards.
Jesus Christ, Lux is so fucking stupid.
Despite Ahsoka attempting to tell him that they're bad news, he keeps brushing it off because they *also* hate Dooku, so it'll be fine. Back aboard the ship, Artoo finds Ahsoka's lightsabers tucked away in a random drawer. So, if she had bothered to look for them, she would have found them in the space of five minutes. My God, she is useless. These two deserve each other, I swear.
Oh, and we meet Bo-Katan for the first time.
Awful, *evil* Bo-Katan.
On the ride back, Lux reveals he had a way to track Dooku's location through his communication.
Serenno. He was probably on Serenno, his homeworld of Serenno, where he has a mansion on Serenno, Serenno on which he is a Count. This isn't exactly hidden knowledge.
They go back to the Death Watch compound. see them using kitbashed battle droids as target practice and Ahsoka is marched off while Lux talks to their leader, Pre Vizsla. Apparently, he has beef with Dooku now and the Count gave him a scar. Which, first thing, if Dooku had wanted him dead, he'd be dead. Second, I actually don't remember those two falling out, so I looked it up and apparently it happens entirely offscreen between his last appearance and now, so whatever, I guess. Also, Vizsla threatens to cut up Lux if he doesn't hand over the tracer, and Lux seems pretty fine with that. Brilliant, that one, real smart.
Ahsoka gets thrown in with a hut full of enslaved women from a nearby village. Great people, those Mandalorians. Artoo, meanwhile, is taken to the droid shack and told to fix up the damaged battle droids so they can be used as target practice again. They don't even slap a restraining bolt on him, they just leave him to his own devices. Which, in this case, happens to be a room full of battle droids, several of which actually still have blasters in repairable condition as we'll see later.
Well, the Mandalorians are rock stupid, so I suppose I can't complain *that's* out of character.
Big feast is held, now Lux can see with his own eyes that the Death Watch are using the local women as slaves...but he doesn't seem to give much of a shit about it, even as Ahsoka keeps trying to point out how awful his allies are. It's at that point the village elder shows up and demands Viszla let his people go. He did this unarmed, with his only support being two other unarmed villagers, walking into a camp full of hostile people who had already taken the village's women as slaves and expected things to go well for him. When Vizsla agrees in the most sinister way possible, with several other Death Watch members openly snickering about it, the elder thinks all is well and Lux even says: "You see? They're not the butchers you make them out to be."
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I...Jesus Christ, they were using the local women as slaves, but you're fine with that so long as they take them back when they're done? Lux has to be the stupidest character in this series, I swear. There is exactly one smart person this entire episode and it's Artoo.
Next day, the Death Watch take the enslaved women back to their village, the Elder thanking him for it.
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And then he takes out his stupid edgesaber and stabs the man's granddaughter in front of him. Can't help but feel this would have been more impactful if obvious sacrificial lamb character had more than a minute of screentime, but okay, its awful and its typical Mando behaviour. For good measure they start torching the village and maybe set one villager on fire. And much to my shock, Lux finally gets it. I was half expecting him to brush it off as them setting fires to keep the villagers warm. Ahsoka seems to impale a guy with a blunt pole, before getting tied up. And then they drag her back to their camp from their speeder...yeah, Ahsoka should be dead.
Then Lux says this...
"I believed you had honour, but you're just murderers."
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What possibly led you to think that conclusion, you absolute dumbass? This whole time, Vizsla has been acting as blatantly sinister and creepy as Dick Dastardly, if he had a moustache he'd be twirling it. Lux seems like the kind of character who needs to be told not to drink drain-cleaner, I swear to God.
As Vizsla is preparing to deal with Idiot and Useless, Artoo shows up with an army of kitbashed droids...and like I said either, a few of them have working blasters. Literally the only competent character, I swear. Artoo gives Ahsoka her lightsabers back, and Vizsla decides to duel her one-on-one, because like every Mando, he has a totally unearned superiority complex. She ends up slicing his jetpack and he doesn't even notice until Ahsoka points it out to him. How did he not hear her hit it? How did he not feel that? In the confusion of the exploding jetpack, Dumb and Dumber manage to escape, chased by Bo-Katan, but they get away.
Then Lux fucks off in the escape pod, the end.
And apparently the next time Ahsoka runs into Bo-Katan, they're besties and join forces to free Mandalore. Guess Ahsoka kinda forgot about the whole slavery, village torching and innocent people she murdered, huh? Yeah, guess so. Bo-Katan fucking sucks, she doesn't get a redemption, the narrative just wants you to forget all the atrocities she commits because she doesn't want Maul to be her leader. Zuko she ain't.
Ahsoka majorly screws up her assignment, puts senators in danger and gets some guards killed, Lux is so braindead that he blindly trusts the most obviously evil pack of killers he could find. I'd say he needs a helmet, but I don't think its possible for him to get anymore brain damage.
TCW is massively overrated, this is a hill I will die on.
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slashtakemylife · 11 months ago
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I like What if but I feel it isn't pushing it enough, or is it?
I feel it's mostly just showing us fave characters in amusing and wacky scenarios, like they put names and words in a title generator and see what shows up and figure crazy scenarios like for example Thanos being redeemed by T'Challa and showing him being "cool" even tho slightly deranged but I don't feel it delves into actual what if scenarios that have plagued marvel fans through out the movies.
I just think it would be slightly more interesting to see some ideas closer to the storyline, feeding into actual what if scenarios marvel fans have made, don't take them too much at heart, these options are mostly just to capture my point
1. What if Captain America had signed the Sokovia Accords?
2. What if Captain America had sacrificed the Vision before Thanos arrived?
For the first scenario, everyone says Cap was to blame for Civil War because he was too hard-headed to see beyond BUCKY and himself and not about others, okay fine, so What if he had? Would the Sokovia Accords would've really helped? Would Bucky really would've been better off? Would the enhanced people would've? What if what Steve said happened and they refused to deploy them where they were needed or somewhere they didn't want to? Or maybe it was a good option and why. We don't know but we would like to know and see
For the second, I've seen some say Steve was at fault because if only he had agreed to destroy the mind stone before Thanos arrived, the blip wouldn't have happened, so ok, what if he did? What if he agreed? Honestly Wanda would've gone batshit at anyone trying to hurt Vision but let's say Steve managed to do what Vision asked, Wanda honestly would've killed him probably but would that solve things? Could Thanos work around it? What would he have done? Would everything really be saved? Maybe it did maybe it won't and honestly idk how it would end up but that's the point of a What if
3. What if Peter Quill had killed Gamora? Or what if Peter hadn't wavered when confronting Thanos?
Peter did promised to Gamora he would kill her before Thanos used her and he broke his promise by trying to kill Thanos except Thanos wouldn't allow it anyway because he needed her, what if Peter had kept his promise? What if he shoot Thanos to distract him by his gun but really was aiming to kill Gamora with a secret knife for example? What would've happened then? Would he go for Nebula?
I remember a few also blamed Peter for getting too caught up asking about Gamora and that he was also to blame on what happened in the Blip so what if they had succeeded in killing Thanos there?
Don't take these examples at heart, I'm just saying them as stuff that's been debated over marvel fans, What if doesn't have the gust to go against their own canon and show us real What Ifs that I've seen marvel fans debate and that would be interesting to see their own spin of it
Maybe the outcome isn't as flashy as What if shows and maybe that's why they don't do it because the point is to be wacky and not so serious, maybe too is that what if is to just let our imagination fly and allow fans more scenarios to imagine and run wild on.
Also I do consider they also don't do it because people have created their own opinions and stans on some things so is best to leave them because the moment they show it, some will view it as the "canon" way such as for example:
"If Cap had signed the Sokovia Accords it would've gone exactly like he said it would and they are trash" would've given "canon" confirmation that "Tony Stark was wrong and Cap was right all along" making it easier for people to trash Tony or "Team Tony", even if in canon they did trash the Accords, it's a throw away easy to miss line and we never really see them be put in action but also... What if they actually worked? What if they showed it was a good option just like Tony said? What if then?
And btw speaking about Tony...
4. What if Tony achieved his dream of putting a suit of armor everywhere?
Would it be good to have a suit of armor everywhere? Or would it have created an actual Civil War with Cap being against the robots and turning Nomad and doing his best to destroy them? Would Tony eventually see how it wouldn't be good to have an army of robots checking your every move? Would it eventually get out of hand and he'd end up having to team up with Cap to destroy them?
But he didn't want just a bunch of robots, he wanted A robot, A robot that would make the Avengers be useless because they would fight the battles for them, so "they could go home". So here's another one
5. What if Tony had created the Ultron he wanted? Would it be good or bad?
Technically we do have a "good Ultron", that being the Vision but both Ultron and Vision acknowledge that even if Vision was his "good" form, it isn't what Tony had envisioned (ha, pun intended), Vision has too much agency and can't be controlled by Tony and it shows when Vision get humanized by his love for Wanda.
But lets say he succeeded and "good Ultron" has kept peace for years, think of marvel movies conflicts and Ultron just effectively solves it, but what if we go to Cap 2?
What if Ultron kills Bucky?
For Ultron, Bucky is a criminal and a threat and upon appearing to kill Nick Fury, the bots save Fury but are adamant on killing The Winter Soldier, let's say they do, what then? Or maybe they don't because let's say they don't kill criminals, either way you bet your ass Steve would go against Ultron to save Bucky even if Ultron adamantly believes Bucky is a threat.
What if Ultron has kept peace for years but upon arrival of Thanos he takes Thanos side?
What if he had gone wacky after all those years? After Tony has had to tweak so much of him say for example the Bucky situation being so confusing for Ultron because yes he's a criminal but actually he didn't want to, and also that applies to Black Widow, yes they where evil but they where brainwashed and forced to do it so yes to some but not to some.
The program Ultron is already confused and upon Thanos arriving he decides to side with Thanos
What if...?
Listen at this point I'm just throwing sentences left and right but I hope my point is coming across and if anyone would like to add any more what if I'd be more than happy to see what other fans would actually like to see in What if.
Also I don't want y'all to take my scenarios so seriously but if anyone wishes to discuss or contend or expand or even rage about any of my made up scenarios, then that's great! Because that's exactly my point.
What ifs are supposed to be able to open debate, open discussions and delve deep into the stories and characters and that's what I feel is lacking in Disney's What If.
Disney's What If only shows us cool scenarios and iterations of characters but doesn't really dig deep into what ifs that marvel fans have made over the years
I understand if they don't want to get into arguments with fans so yeah I understand but I also feel it's mostly being cowardly of them and What if is simply an excuse to recycle characters and rebrand them to sell them again to us and honestly it is working, I love what if, I am excited to see whatever they show up and I'll eat it all up, I want to see more Steve because there won't be anymore coming after endgame and seeing him in other iterations is excited, I miss Bucky too and I also want to see him as well as other characters so yeah it works.
But either way, I still feel that "What If" title falls flat in what really could've been and on what I, naively most likely, believed it could be
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practically-an-x-man · 7 months ago
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❤, 🧡,💚,🖤,🏳️‍🌈 for X-Men since you're the expert on that
Oh man, expert is a high bar to reach but I'll see what I can do
Ask Game: Unpopular Opinion Edition
❤: Which character do you think is the most egregiously mischaracterized by the fandom?
Oh man... a lot of them get mischaracterized in a lot of different ways, this is hard to answer. I'm actually gonna go with Mystique for this one - she's such a popular character, so I see a lot of people who've only barely dipped their toe into X-Men try to write for her and it just... isn't quite right. They make her too soft and morally-pure, they chop whole sides of her character off, they remove the fact that she's canonically bi... it's kinda death by a thousand cuts sometimes.
🧡: What is a popular (serious) theory you disagree with?
I don't think they're going to bring Apocalypse into X-Men '97, at least not in the first season. I've seen it tossed around a lot but like... we've already got Trask and the Sentinels as major villains, and they brought Apocalypse in at least 2 different times in the original animated series, so I kinda doubt they're going to go back to him again so quickly.
💚: What does everyone else get wrong about your favorite character?
God, what don't they get wrong? He falls victim to Hot Guy Syndrome so badly, especially here on tumblr. He's got one of the richest character arcs and storylines of just about anyone, and yet most of the fics I've seen either make him the "X Reader fodder" boyfriend with therapy-speak emotional intelligence, or go the opposite direction and make him the hopeless tortured sadboy.
He's just so... flat. And I get that the movies don't give us much to go off of, and not everyone reads the comics, but like... it's so annoying to me. The entire point of his character is that he's forced into these extremes (the angelic golden child to the Horseman of Death), but when he's allowed to be himself he's neither of those things... and yet the fandom just shoves him into one of those extremes anyway. Even just thinking about this is pissing me off a little lol
🖤: Which character is not as morally good as everyone else seems to think?
CHARLES! I mean, the whole point of his character is that he tries to be a good leader and sometimes he fails. And sometimes he fails badly and it ends up in a complete moral catastrophe. Yet a lot of fanfics I've read seem to paint him as a great, morally-perfect leader, which just... isn't true. Just because he tries to do good things doesn't mean every decision he makes is automatically morally pure.
🏳️‍🌈: Which character who is commonly headcanoned as queer doesn't seem queer to you?
Another tough one, because there are so many comics and writers that I honestly don't know what's been confirmed queer and what's just a widespread headcanon. And let's be real... this is X-Men. Nobody's not queer.
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highlordofkrypton · 2 months ago
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Hi!!! I’m brand new to the ACOTAR series and have been browsing for rare pairs and stumbled on Nyxlin. I didn’t know it was like, A Thing! Personally I like Tamlin/Rhys (they have so much chemistry omg. I don't know how people don't see it!) but I’m always fascinated by the rare pairs and how creative people are with their fics. Went down the rabbit hole of the fandom and found your blog and I’m shocked at how divisive it is. Nyx doesn’t have much of a character so can I ask what it is about the ship that you like?
Ignore this if you want to! I just got excited to find an active fandom.
First of all, welcome to the fandom! So glad to have (maybe?) another rarepair shipper on board 😊
I apologize in advance as I have an inability to be concise when I answer asks.
Tamsand (Tamlin x Rhys) was actually what first brought me into the fandom -- I had written a whole fic midway through ACOWAR because I couldn't get over the casual mention of 'training together in Illyrian camps' and Tamlin learning dirty limericks from the soldiers. They really do have amazing chemistry 👏👏👏
In terms of divisiveness, one thing you will notice very quickly is that even though the fandom is active:
It's still small enough that people keep stepping on each other's toes when it comes to opinions towards ships; it's harder to ignore when drama (usually ship or Tamlin related) goes down because everyone kind of has something to say.
Very big canon discourse, especially towards ships (constant ship wars over canon ships)
Very vocal anti-shipping, moral policing, etc. of ships and character interactions without ever engaging in the fanworks. As a rarepair shipper, I'm sure you'll understand that there are so many ways to make a ship work, and very few of them have to do with the canon text. Lots of knee-jerk reactions over ultimately silly things.
Nyxlin is only the latest drama over all kinds of rarepairs/crackships. Before that it was Elain x Beron x Tamlin, and before that it was Rhysand x Nesta. I believe there were some Nesta x Eris issues, but I only heard echoes of that.
My best advice before all else is enjoy yourself. No matter what anyone else says, just have fun.
I'm not sure if I'll have the answers you're looking for in terms of Nyxlin; we're quite a few Nyxlin shippers and everyone has their own take on the ship.
COMMONALITIES
There are a few things in common between Nyxlin fics and headcanons that I've seen that people seem to enjoy across the board.
It's important to note that every Nyxlin discussion, discourse or fanworks that I have engaged in have Nyx as an adult before getting involved with Tamlin. This is a distinction that many people struggle with when condemning this ship.
Rebellion - In the same way that Rhysand and Tamlin getting together would be taboo in their father's eyes, Nyx growing up to go against his parents actively or being forced to rebel in the name of love. It's almost like any other Disney movie where the parents say no, but the child goes ahead anyway.
Humour - Who hasn't made a ship out of a stupid joke? I have a lot of ships that have bloomed out of pure silliness. Some people have done a parody of Twilight and then we all got attached. Others just thought it would be hilarious if Feyre and Rhysand, who hate Tamlin with a passion, would have to cope with their son being irrevocably attached to their nemesis.
Redemption - Both Spring and Night have wronged each other, so this is a chance to make up for it on both sides. If Feyre and Rhysand won't meet Tamlin halfway, then their son will do it for them!
Parallels between Life (Spring) and Death (Night) - The Hades/Persephone mirrors can be seen here, if not flipped on its head with 'darkness' barging into Spring when Tamlin just really, really needs a nap.
There are probably more, but these are the ones I can think off the top of my head.
MY NYXLIN
My reasons include the themes mentioned above, but I also chose to write Nyx because he doesn't have much of a character.
I originally wrote a piece about my morally gray OC in Prythian to see how he stands up to Rhysand, and ironically, this character I've had in my mind for over a decade shared similarities with the High Lord of Night, not only in terms of the darkness-themed abilities, but in looks -- well, if dark hair and bright eyes is anything to go by.
Once I shared that WIP, I got a lot of requests to continue the story, but I'm quite shy to share OCs, especially in a fandom that struggles to deviate from canon. I also thought that what a brilliant way to parallel the reason the previous generation High Lords were so cruel; I could have Rhysand's son be more powerful than Rhysand, and have Rhysand have to cope with that threat (because my Nyx is not friendly at all).
It was quite funny to have Rhysand's ass handed to him by his son, and watch his son-turned-Eldritch-god side with Tamlin which is terrifying to him. As a Death God, there's also a really beautiful parallel to be had with Spring.
I also think it's hilarious because my Nyx looks like a 40 year old man, therefore looks older than Rhysand in canon who is looks like the canonical early 20s.
You can see how I'm not only bending the canon, but I've gone really far, if not completely off the rails, which is why I'm not sure I'm the best person to answer your question in general.
Anyway, me and my readers are having a shit ton of fun, and I think that's what matters most out of all of this!! 😊
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cerberus253 · 3 months ago
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So, that Guy Named "Jack" and He Carries a Candle Around
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After years not being on my mind, he finally showed up in my dreams some time ago and I've been thinking about him a lot (that's usually how my hyper-fixation gets re-kindled of an old character).
Contains- Canon Info, Headcanon Info (SFW and NSFW)
Veeeerrry long post
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Canon:
- Is called "The Boogeyman. The For Real one."
- Poor back posture (is usually seen hunching over)
- Will kidnap you if you say his name out loud
- Loves Pumpkin Pie (just look at him smelling it!)
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- Can levitate while awake and asleep, also those tied in his ropes
- Sleeps like a cat, does the "Stinky Face" like a cat (probably just squinting, but it's still cat-like), and does the "Raptor hands" thing
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- Likes satirical sitcoms (F Troop)
- Polite and witty (he even holds his pinky finger up when holding his candle)
- Talks in monotone unless very upset
- Likes to eat peanuts
- Is rather one-track minded when kidnapping targets, ignoring those who have not said his name
- Is an escape artist
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(pic of Candlej-- uh, y'know, right after Freakazoid (not pictured) trapped him. He got out pretty fast. Look at that cheeky bastard. Love 'im <3)
- The stitches on his mouth actually open up to a mouth (I saw it happen for a few seconds, so it's real)
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Headcanon (SFW):
- Shows up and attempts to kidnap those who are actually scared by him, which are usually children.
- Answers to teens and adults if he wants to, since a lot of times it's for shits and giggles, parties, or weird cult stuff. Disrespect with the use of his name will not trigger him in this day and age!
- While Jack appreciates the wanted invitation to just hang out, he's rather an introvert and values his alone time, but does have his social moments.
- If he does show up [for adult strangers], and it isn't for kidnapping, its usually for Halloween-themed occasions (parties, fairs, carnivals, etc). Since it's usually around strangers, he just creeps around, watching people, either finding someone to scare or talking to those who seem interesting to him, or anyone who just comes up and chats to him. If at carnivals or fairs, he'd also play some of the games.
- I honestly believe, when his name is called, Jack can see the situation/setting he'll be getting himself into. Like, if just saying his name aloud will ALWAYS make him appear, then one could easily trap him in some max security prison. He'll know if he's floating into a trap or not, or if the callers aren't worth going after (especially in this day and age). Besides, if he came to everyone's beck and call, he'd be all over the place, and how could some people know about him yet be here? Survival of his kidnapping? Okay, so if you called again, he'd show up again, and now you'll know what to do to stop him. Why would he float into that? Anyway, yeah, I think Jack's picky and will only show up if you're actually afraid of him or are being serious about it.
- Has a strong sweet tooth, and likes salty treats. You will win him over if you can bake well AND bake his favorite things: Pumpkin Pie!
- Enjoys horror media (movies, TV shows, and books), specifically psychological and thriller ones. This includes watching people playing horror games or watching horror videos and get terrified by them. Will eat popcorn to it.
- Goes to candle and occult stores, which are the only places he'll actually pay for things other than rope. Where does he get the money? Uh... *whistles*
- Enjoys moonlit graveyard night walks (floats?), reading in dimly lit libraries, exploring old, haunted abodes, morning Autumn forest walks, etc.
- Pocket Dimension in his gloves, boots, and sack mask. He's gotta put all that rope somewhere.
- When outside of his kidnapping/villain hobby, he doesn't talk to strangers as much, preferring to let the other person go first, then indulging in conversation if he likes them enough.
- Doesn't talk about too personal of stuff unless he really really likes the person.
- Great listener and observer! Will be the kind of guy to remember seemingly small and insignificant details about someone he likes!
- Struggles to express his emotions normally, but when they are extreme they are noticeable (EX: The Peanut Incident of '97).
- Knows how to do all kinds of rope knots, easy and complicated.
- Doesn't mind physical contact, but isn’t the one to initiate unless it’s for scares. A little nervous if it’s romantic/sexual. Despite this, the Ghost-Man is TOUCH-STARVED, he's just unsure when it’s a good time to indulge himself.
- Jack is normally polite, and a little cheeky, to strangers, but when it comes to friends, he's also kind and considerate.
- Doesn't feel bad about kidnapping people, nor what happens to them after. However, if you strike up a good conversation, and get him to like you enough, he might change his mind. It would be a shame if such an interesting and compassionate person were to disappear and never be seen again... Don’t worry, he won’t stalk you (unless…👉👈 maybe he likes you a little too much 🙄)
- Why does Jack like to scare people and kidnap them? Yeah, he's weird, but what if it's because he's lonely and he didn't know how to socialize? Like, what if he was a creepy and weird kid that liked spooky things growing up, so people avoided him and he didn't know how to converse with his peers, so he found out that scaring people was a way to get them to notice him? Ya know, like "bad attention is better than no attention?" So now, as an adult, it's just what he does on a day-to-day basis because he's so used to it? Just a Theory.
- Jack’s a kind of Sheet Ghost. Him and the burlap and cotton/leather apparel are separate, like removable skin. Without it, he cannot eat. He doesn’t have to eat, but he likes to.
- Likes animals that people deem creepy/scary (insects, arachnids, deep sea fish, snakes, bats, etc.), but his favorite ones are black cats.
- Enjoys surprise gifts, including: Old books, old candle holders, baked goods, and spooky/creepy knick-knacks.
- I see him more as a Giver than a Taker kind of guy in any relationship, but when it comes to physical affection, he’s nervous and doesn’t usually initiates unless he can’t help himself, or he knows and trusts you enough.
- If ya wanna be friends with him, ya gotta be open and accepting of his (non-criminal) behaviors. Simply going out of your way to talk to him when he's around tells him you might want to be friends with him.
- If Jack [also] wants to be friends with you, he'll purposefully seek you out on occasions, scaring the shit out of you when you're least expecting it. Then he'll get down to casual stuff.
- If you have some sort of sensual (not sexual) relationship with him, he will accept cuddles and hugs when you need them. In addition, if you have trouble sleeping, he’ll sit/lay next to you to keep you company (might fall asleep himself).
- I’m gonna say this: Jack does, in fact, live somewhere. I am going to headcannon that he lives in an abandoned Victorian mansion that was left alone for so long that even time forgot it and now it sits between Life and Death in mist strewn woods. When people go missing on their own, they may stumble across it, seemingly empty, but Jack doesn’t like that someone literally entered his place so he scares them out. On the other hand, sometimes he invites close friends over for some quiet spooky time, but that hardly ever happens.
- His place is old, dusty, and dirty, which he doesn’t mind, but he also wouldn’t mind if someone wanted to clean it up (maybe that's why he kidnaps people). Just don’t kick out the rats and bats, change the aesthetic of the place, break anything that isn’t already damaged, install too many modern things, that sort of stuff. He still wants it to be old and creepy, but he understands if you need to charge your phone.
- If ya wanna be more than friends with him, ya gotta not only be open and accepting of him, but love the strange, dark, and mysterious things in the world (which includes him). Someone who’s kind, understanding, weird (complimentary), enjoys being alone with him, but also goes along with him when he wants to socialize; someone who isn’t extremely loud and energetic, but does give life and warmth around him; has a lot of similar interest with him, etc.
- Anyway, I think Jack is pretty inept when it comes to people flirting with him. I mean, yeah, he recognizes someone being really nice to him, but to get romantic, even physically? Nah, that's silly! Falling for a ghost is weird! Once he does get it, I think he'd be rather awestruck and confused, not really knowing what to think.
- However, you'll know he reciprocates when he leaves little gifts for you to discover (possibly even a Treasure Hunt!). or maybe even doing small domesticated things, like doing dishes, making breakfast/dinner for you, making your bed, etc. I don't see him doing laundry (undergarment respect) nor dusting, though. If he doesn't do anything, you'll definitely know he's been around because of the smell he leaves behind (candles and smoke).
- He struggles to know when you really need him around when it comes to emotional/mental struggles. Don’t get me wrong, he can recognize when you’re feeling that way, but doesn’t know what to do or if you need alone time, so he’s going to need you to tell him to stay or go, listen or give advice, and/or to touch or not to touch. Whatever it is, he’ll do it for ya because he cares and worries on the inside (referencing back to the struggle to express emotions). Communication 👏 Is 👏 Key 👏
- Not into hook-up culture. Definitely, at least, Grey-A in both romantic and sexual departments. Like, yeah, Elvira, Mistress of Darkness is a very pretty lady that he crushes on, but personally may be a little much for him.
- Appreciates if you helped clean his clothing attire. Being in the woods or a dusty mansion can get ya pretty dirty.
- Isn’t too picky with other peoples’ apparel, but he is fond of gothic attire. I want to say his favorites would be: Traditional, Romantic, Mopey, Victorian, and Medieval.
- Will help you with your make-up, King/Queen ✌️
- Okay listen, I don’t doubt that Jack may stalk people he has strong romantic interest in, because he’s a weirdo, BUT he is RESPECTFUL about it. He will watch you watch TV, doing chores, cooking and eating, doing sit-alone hobbies (reading, art, gaming, etc), doing taxes, sleeping (a BIG one), etc.
- He will NOT watch you do anything too…revealing (showering/bathing, changing, etc). He may be weird and lack certain social skills, but he knows when to look away…
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Headcannon (Suggestive/NSFW):
-… HOWEVER, if he knows that he’s allowed to look at you naked, or doing naughty things, he will. He will. Might even sneak up on you to scare you, then to “help you out,” if ya know what I mean~ Despite this, I don’t think he’d be the kind of guy to watch and pleasure himself while doing so. I just can't think of him doing that. He's weird and creepy, not sick and perverted.
- Would set up a relaxing bath (with candles, of course!) for you after a long and hard day, resting against the side of the tub while you’re bathing, watching and listening to you. Maybe helping you wash yourself.
- Jack comes off as a Soft Switch to me, mostly leaning Soft Dom.
- Remember the “he knows how to do all kinds of knots?” Yeah, he’d have fun with bondage. I don’t think he’d be really aggressive with it, but in fact passionate and loving. Wouldn’t want you getting rope burn.
- If he did decide to “unwrap his gift,” he would do it carefully (again, to avoid rope burn) and methodically, speaking softly, monotonously, and sweetly while he comments on how beautiful you (his gift) is 💛
- I mean, you can suggest he use soft or lace-like binding rope fabrics so he doesn’t have to worry about hurting you, but he prefers classic, plant fiber rope 👌
- Expect playful teasing from him, both verbally and physically. Will use words like “naughty,” “silly,” “little tease,” “my beloved toy,” etc, and would tell you to mind your Ps and Qs (English Idiom for “manners”) if you want him to do something for you.
- Will call you sweet nicknames like, “pumpkin,” “darling,” “my dear,” “little moth,” etc.
- Normally he’d be wearing regular burlap cloth, which is rather irritating to skin (luckily he doesn’t have any), but when he wears the softer kind, you know he’s looking for a lot of physical affection.
- With said soft fabric on, Jack can finally really touch and feel you up as much as he wants and as long as he wants, really squishing, massaging, and fondling all those soft and squishy curves and crevices of yours~ 🖤
- If you want to really get him Turned On: LACE. NIGHTGOWNS. Walk around the house with it on, sleep with it on, cuddle with it on, get intimate with it on, etc. Just seeing the delicate fabric loosely hang around your form, and the intricate lace designs flowing around your chest, sides, and edges (also sleeves if applicable) makes him giddy and warm up fast. If you’re not wearing any undergarments underneath, I think he’ll get the message why you’re flaunting yourself in front of him~ 💖
- In addition, since he's so into scaring people, I think he'd be into playing Hide n' Seek/Cat and Mouse, with you hiding (the Mouse) and him seeking (the Cat). He'd be talking a lot during it, saying things like, "Where oh where has my darling gone?~," "I'll find you soon, my pretty~," and "Come out come out wherever you are, little one~."
- Of course, after finding you, he would love for you to try to run from him! "You can run, but you can't hide, my dear!~," "Running only excites me more, once I catch you, my little moth!~"
- After getting caught, "There, finally! I've caught you now, little rascal~ Now to make sure you won't be running from me any longer, love~" *brings out the bondage rope*
- I honestly don’t think he’d be into violent and aggressive sexual interaction. Like, despite his love to scare, I don’t think he’d try to bruise nor hold a real knife to your throat or anything like that. Legit the worst he’d do would be pretending to choke you or leave red marks on your skin.
- Jack’s favorite parts of you are anything squishy and soft, which includes chest/breasts, stomach, love handles, butt, and thighs. He just adores it when you smile and giggle while he lovingly squeezes any of said parts, and will continue to do so for your arousal. Then he’ll go for the other soft and sensitive spot that will surely get you heated and huffing~ 💗 Be careful not to say his full name, though! Or he'll just tighten those ropes around you!
- I’m not sure if intercourse would even be possible, but I know he’d take great pleasure in pleasuring you in any way he can, whether it be massaging, fondling, fingering, or using sex toys on you (maybe he has specific apparel that has a hollow dildo attached to his crotch so he can be in you XD).
- Jack would like really any position, but I think he’d prefer to hug and play with you from behind. He likes to feel you press into him (or he pressing you into him) when you’re rhythmically gyrating from his touch, and even better if it’s into the bed (he wants to be squished by you👌).
- Another location would be in front of a mirror so you, and him, can see yourself getting fondled/fingered/loved/fucked by him, blushing, smiling, and giggling, all the while stealing glances when your eyes aren’t shut from the pleasure. Additionally, turn your head and give him soft yet passionate kisses, using a possible free hand to hold his face against yours, to make him just as giddy👌👌
- One thing he would prefer is doing it in the dark, or dimly lit space with only candles to light it. Maybe start off in a dimly lit room, and one by one, over the course of the passionate and romantic affection, they’d be blown out until pitch blackness. That’s when he’d start fingering/fucking you, when your sense of sight is unreliable so your sense of hearing and touch are strengthened. Kinky AF~
Closing Notes:
- Like I said before, I see Jack as more of a Giver than a Taker. With friends, and close friends, he’s rather tolerant to all kinds of folks: Loud, quiet; eccentric, secluded; freaks, geeks, creeps, and weirdos; neurotypicals and neurodivergent, etc, just don’t be an asshole (racist, sexist, homophobic, a rapist, all that stuff). He enjoys watching the diversity of people.
- However, when it comes to romantic relationships, I see him like how I am: Yeah, I may have a handful of people I crush on/admire, but you have to really catch my interest for me to actually pursue you, which is quite rare.
- The types of people I think Jack would have strong interests in are the quiet, introverted/extroverted-introvert ones, and outcast types. He’d want someone who is kind, sweet, accepting of him, (trying to) understand(s) him, exclusive, mindful, considerate, weird (affectionate), giving, observant, patient, unique, quiet but not shy, has many similar interests as him, indulges in his hobbies, and their weirdness matches his weirdness.
- Then there’s the “darker” side of said person he’d also like: Reflective, mysterious, a loner (but not truly isolating), gloomy, obsessive (with interests and hobbies), struggles to show emotions but can express them, and prefers to have personal/intimate alone time with him rather than dates or parties every weekend.
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goodluckclove · 2 months ago
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A Very Very Muppet Christmas Movie Deserves All the Hate it Gets, and Maybe More Actually
Okay so someone said I can talk about this so I'm going to talk about it. Spoilers I guess? For a shitty Muppets movie?
This got long. Fuck.
I have seen, at this point, every Muppets movie aside from Muppets Oz. I couldn't really rate them in order of best to worst like other online sites do. I like The Muppets. Even the movies that didn't touch my heart like Muppets Treasure Island I still found fun and enjoyable. My favorite will always be the original movie from 1979, but I found all of them to be comforting and enjoyable.
Until this one. This one is bad. A Very Very Muppets Christmas Movie was so immediately bad on every level. It is the first movie I've seen in some time that actually made me angry.
A little context for those who haven't seen the movies. Muppets movies fall into two categories that I'll call Muppets Lore and Muppets Theatre. In Muppets Theatre you get a loose retelling of some classic story where the cast is primarily Weird Felt Perverts - think Christmas Carol, Treasure Island, Wizard of Oz. The Great Muppets Caper isn't technically based on source material but I'd put it in this category since they're playing characters.
On the other hand, the Muppets Lore movies focus on the origins/misadventures of the Muppets as an ensemble. Think the original movie, as well as Muppets Take Manhattan, Muppets in Space, and the two reboot films.
Muppets Haunted Mansion is technically both a Muppets Lore and Muppets Theatre film. It's also. I wouldn't say bad, but it - it's weird to talk about. It does canonize that Gonzo's worst fear is dying alone - which, like, yeah. That tracks.
Anyways, A Very Muppet Christmas (I refuse to keep using the full title), though it does heavily draw from It's a Wonderful Life (but badly), is primarily a Muppets Lore movie. The basic plot is that the Muppets, who by now are well-known for producing shows out of their own Muppet Theater, lose their venue. This devastates Kermit, driving him to believe that the lives of his friends would be better if he was never born. He gets to see this alternate reality, realizes it's apparently way worse, and begs to go back. He does, the theater is saved through randomly being declared a historical site, and everyone's happy forever.
I don't know where to start with this. Let me break it up.
They Had The Same Message For a Like 30 Years At This Point How Did You Fuck it Up This Badly
So a majority of the Muppets Lore movie focuses on the central theme of chasing your dreams. The main cast are all performers (barring Scooter, who seems to be the entirety of their tech crew. Kermit also directs and writes. I think Doctor Honeydew is a war criminal but no one talks about that.) with aspirations of making a living doing what they love. They make mentions of fame but are pretty loose with what that means. Miss Piggy is the only cast member who explicitly wants mass amounts of stardom.
The rest appear content with being career artists. Rowlf is chill wherever there's a piano. The Electric Mayhem prefer their jam rock but seem fine playing any gig with an audience and also probably a plug for hard drugs. In a lot of Gonzo origin appearances he's actually working a separate day job and just shoots himself out of cannon as a hobby. The major draw in the original depiction of their dreams (for me at least) is that it really does paint them all as people who would be doing their art anyway regardless of whether or not they Hit it Big. They push for fame, they try again and again to find an audience that appreciates them even when most of them don't, and it works out in the end. They get rewarded for the effort their dreams push them commit to - what Real Life, Non-Muppet Artist wouldn't at least acknowledge how that's cool to see?
I think this is why a Lore Muppet movie doesn't really work when it depicts The Muppets already being successful. The reboot worked for me because it took place when they were all major celebrity figures past their prime and mostly forgotten (except for Rowlf who I think was on so much Oxy that he didn't realize they were famous). When the movie focuses on their career the fame is a better goal than a starting point.
It really does make A Muppet Christmas fall apart immediately. They run the risk of losing their theater if they don't make the money to pay rent? They're famous. They're on talk shows. There's a statue dedicated to the joy Kermit brings to the world. I do not accept this to be a universe where they can't get another venue immediately. I wouldn't be able to accept this as a universe where they're both successful performers who sell out every show and also almost broke, if not for the fact that I can think of like four Muppets off the top of my head who probably generate a new court case against them every year. Legal fees.
They had one scene where Kermit calls a bunch of mid 2000s celebrities and none of them want to guest for the Christmas show. That works in the reboot where Kermit does the same thing only to find that most of his old contacts are either retired or dead. In this one? It's nonsense.
No, Really, You Fucked it So Bad
In every Muppet movie that focuses on following your dreams, that message is paired with maddening levels of determination. The Muppets, mainly Kermit, do not give up. All his friends ditch him while he's trying to get their musical produced on stage? He's gonna work a minimum wage job and keep looking for producers so he can get that venue and perform with his friends. His career is kind of over but he runs the risk of losing the studio that served as a landmark for the legacy he made with the people he loves? Fuck it, cross-country road trip to get the band back together.
He's trying to make a name for himself but there's a entrepreneur who runs a frog legs restaurant and, after being unable to hire him as a spokesperson, sends a paid assassin to kill him? That's less important than making the Big Audition in Hollywood!
So when being faced with losing the Muppet Theater in A Muppet Christmas, Kermit stays true to his character by giving up immediately and abandoning his friends to die alone in the snow.
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Like I get it, you're doing the It's A Wonderful Life thing but you can't make Kermit do an explicit suicide attempt. But the film establishes he is fully frozen and unresponsive when his Religiously Unspecified Celestial Guardian finds him, and that is WAY more disturbing than having him jump off a bridge in my mind. It's just so bleak holy fuck. And this happens immediately. First fifteen minutes of a movie that inexplicably starts in the middle and Kermit slinks off to die.
It's not earned at all. He didn't fuck up to the extent for this to make sense. We find out later that the money was lost because he gave it to Fozzie to give to the bank and Fozzie loses it. Kermit then becomes convinced that he ruined all of his friends lives because of this.
Like it's a common thread to depict Kermit being the lynchpin that moves the ensemble forward. He's the guy with the plan, so it makes sense story wise to take that character and get him to a point where he's out of ideas. Only we never see him really try anything? He makes no attempts that fail before he falls into despair. He sits on the sideline and when things don't go well he's like "I fucked it" and loses his will to live. When people say Kermit is a boring buzz kill this is the Kermit they must be imagining.
All the Characters are Bad Here
The major crux of the film is seeing how the ensemble would live without Kermit, who inexplicably thinks he ruined their lives in a way I still don't understand (Did he take out a bunch of loans in their name? What happened???). The intention is to show that their lives are better for having him in them. This, for some reason, looks like the following:
Gonzo: talented street singer/musician, maybe implied to be homeless?
Fozzie: pickpocket, apparently. Why? Bullshit
The Electric Mayhem: Irish step dancers I guess
Scooter: go go dancer. Living his best life.
Sam the Eagle: nightclub enthusiast. Seems fine.
Statler and Waldorf: I could be wrong but it did really look like they were depicted as a gay couple
Rizzo: I - actual rat? Rat actor? Non-sentient rat? I don't really understand what was happening there.
Miss Piggy: I thought they were going the path of having her give up on acting and become a crazy cat lady (not good but fits the era) but apparently she's a phone psychic who uses a Jamaican accent and wig. I guess Kermit is the only person keeping her from race baiting - which I can believe.
So my issue with this is that it's fully inconsistent to all of their characters. If you wanted to show how their lives would be worse without Kermit, it's very easy to do so using the aspects of their personality depicted in like 40 years of media. I think the issue comes in the fact that the obvious downfalls aren't really fitting for a kids movie, which is probably why Jim Henson didn't go there. But I will right now! Here is my take:
Fozzie: super bigoted comedian. He doesn't realize his audience are racists and he doesn't really get the jokes but he's happy people are finally laughing
Gonzo: drug mule
Miss Piggy: probably got famous but not though acting and she's trying to pretend like that's just as good
Rizzo: pays Gonzo be his drug mule
The Electric Mayhem: long dead. Either OD or murder-suicide. Maybe Animal lived but he's absolutely in prison.
Statler and Waldorf: divorced because they never got to bond over their mutual hatred of live theater
Scooter: still in technical theater but he gets treated like shit and probably has a drinking problem
Sam the Eagle: full-on Nazi. Obviously.
There's a plot there in showing what the muppet ensemble would be like without their director and biggest cheerleader. It's just that the depiction in the movie we got was so far removed from what they were like in the present reality that it didn't - like, without Kermit, Gonzo would've learned how to play the guitar? Huh? The only thing that's keeping Fozzie Bear from doing petty crime is making vaudeville theater? Fucking how? Based on what?
It doesn't work as a Muppets story and it doesn't work as a Wonderful Life reference because there's really not anything real that proves that Kermit is the thing that kept this from happening. Except for Piggy doing phone blackface. I can see him having to have that conversation with her a lot.
Anyways, it sucks. The framing is bad, the guest stars are weird (Joe Rogan and Matthew Lillard?), and the one song for the film is awful. Kermit's emotional arc is nonsense and the film fails to see that the point of the ensemble is that they're better and happier together, not that they're all useless and miserable without their leader.
Brian Henson did an important thing taking over for The Muppets after his dad died. He did a lot for the way the movies he wasn't involved in production wise - he worked on the rig that allowed Muppets to appear to ride bikes. This is his life and his dads legacy and it's clear - at least at one point - he valued continuing it.
But yeah this movie was awful. Near incoherent. It's like fanfic from someone who's only research was doing a Google image search of The Muppets. Christ.
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