#But I was not expecting this to be the best glass of plain milk I've ever drank.

[variaandroise]

Ever eat/drink something and go "Yeah whatever's in that I was probably deficient in."?

[plaindangan]

tsumugi, heard you got VERY expert at sucking cocks, the intensity, the face, the slopiness, the pace, youre an absolute dickmilker! this got me thinking, how about you put ouma rantaro and shuichi to the test and see which one can hold for the longest time their cum and braincells?

Disclaimer: R18 material! If not to your liking then please do not view!

"Really? Gosh, you're just flattering me! I'm just plain average at dick sucking, really!! It's just that if I truly want to cosplay those spunk covered, ahegao making, vacuum mouth, sluts in hentai - I have to give it my all!! That means a lot of practice...and practice are just what those three are going to help me with." A dark grin appears on her face and the scene shifts to seeing Rantaro (as chill as ever), Kokichi (contemplating if he trolled a bit too close to the sun) and Shuichi (who just wanted to get his work done today...) were all in their boxers and tied to chairs by Tsumugi. All having been roped into this one way or another by a nerd very clearly in the mood, if the dominatrix like outfit was wearing was any indication.

"Let the testing begin, boys~"

-

Test 1: Rantaro Amami

Time: 37 minutes, 21 seconds.

Details: "I sucked off Rantaro first because I just knew that normie attracting pretty rich boy was gonna be the hardest nut to...well, bust, in any case. And I was right!! Seriously, it took so much time before I saw that casual face of his flush red. Heh, but its worth it to see him gasp so much and be so out of character. Turns out he was the type that loves having his balls sucked and cleaned too. Put enough pressure on those babies and I had him creaming gallons in minutes. Though...do wish that jerk warned me before getting my entire face, and glasses, covered in his damn mess!!! Stupid inconsiderate jerk.....at least he knows the pineapple trick so licking it all up was at least easy enough to get through...and such a strong smell. I kind of want to...tch!!! No way! I-I won't get addicted to normie bait!! Moving on!!"

Test 2: Kokichi Oma

Time: 15 minutes, 38 seconds

Details: "God, this one just doesn't know when to shut up!! Kokichi's the type to frigging yap and yap without filter!! Telling useless lies, trying to get a rise out you...and really insult you while you blow him off!! 'Oh, Miu usually gave me titjobs before sucking me off, but I guess you don't have the assets for it' Bastard! That twink wouldn't know a good damn suck if he stuck his cock in a vacuum!! Heheheheehe...thankfully his weak spot is that he's extra weak to head licks. It's fun hearing his lies go off the rails or stop because the pleasure is just way too much for him. Those lessons from Syo paid off!! Of course, with all that teasing he did spurt quicker than expected...right on my lips and breasts this time. Hmm...saltier than expected...but not bad~ Even a bit sweet, too. Heck, with how it currently is, I could get use-no! Bad Tsumugi! This twink is just to be used like yaoi of the week! Focus!"

Test 3: Shuichi Saihara

Time: 20 minutes, 53 seconds

Details: "He was the one I wanted to save...the best for last. I know for a fact he spends so long cooped up in that agency, I just knew his balls would be filled to the tank with that milk I've been craving for...and I know damn well as soon as I pulled down those boxers, when that musk hit my damn nose, I wanted all of it dropped into my mouth. All of it!!!! I didn't loose my lips from that shaft for a second as I choked down that dick in deepthroat vicegrip. It was so fun sucking off someone so clearly taken back by my moves and moaning so cutely, too!! He's perfect!! Likewise, I didn't move my mouth as he came hard into my mouth. Dumping load after load after load after load of salty goodness into my mouth, flooding it with his seed and making my gargle it! God, I need more of it!! He can't leave just yet!! None of them can leave!! I need more CUM!!!!"

-

"S-s-s-so....i-in conclusion..." Tsumugi closed her book, sighed in 'disappointment' and looked at the three boys. Boobs, lips, cheeks, face - all covered in white grime batter from all of her 'test subjects'. "We simply just...don't have enough cu-data! Data! Meant to say data, on the matter to properly pass judgement!! It looks we'll have to do a few more rounds...just to be on the safe said. Eheheheehe~" the blue haired woman's lips turned into a glossy, dark smile.

"Aren't you glad to be apart of something so plain fun?" Between Rantaro giving a nervous chuckle, Kokichi groaning, and Shuichi...just looking utterly lost in the real of mindnumbing pleasure, the general consensus was pretty clear:

They weren't getting out for a long, long, long while~

[red-hibiscus]

So I went to a Thai sweets cafe and here are my thoughts

Context: My area has no Thai restaurants and I've only has Thai food twice in my life. So I really know nothing. I asked the staff to give me recs and info. Also our lovely Perth Nakhun has a video on Thai sweets on his YouTube. UMWA edition (bc of course) which covers leum kluen and khanom tom/kho which I ate.

Golden Thread Pandan Cake

Recommended by staff. Golden thread is made out of egg and I was a bit skeptical bc I don't always like egg. But I actually really liked it. The cake tastes like a kind of sponge cake or a pound cake? It doesn't really have a strong taste. Like eating it by itself is kind of plain (not in a bad way), but mixed with the golden thread that has a slightly stronger taste was very nice. Good combo.

Khanom tom

At least I think it's khanom tom. Pretty sure. Could be khanom kho. They're very similar. Staff described them as kinda dumpling balls?

Google says there's a version that's rolled in coconut flakes. Personally I quite liked the warm coconut cream. It was very nice. I was surprised by how warm it was. I think I expected it to be room temp or cooler, but it was very warm like a warm glass of milk.

While I like coconut, I sometimes get tired of the taste depending on how it's done. But I was surprised by how much I liked the cream with the dumplings that had coconut inside. It's a glutinous rice ball (essentially mochi, same concept). So very chewy. Then there's the coconut filling which is nice. The coconut milk adds a bit of extra depth to it I think.

Khanom Chan

(Steamed layered coconut cake)

Chewy coconut jelly. Really liked this one. Possibly my favorite idk. I like jelly and they're very pretty. I'm biased. Not as chewy as the khanom chan, but you know... usual jelly texture. The jelly is pretty thick. Thicker than the little jello containers i usually eat. Which I liked. Portion size is very good bc it does seem like Thai sweets can be on the filling side of things. As opposed to idk... a chocolate bar.

The jelly isn't sweet. On the savory side. I was also told this was best eaten warm, though it could be eaten at room temperature.

Leum Kluen

Forget to swallow

Left is what they're supposed to look like, right is a picture I took on the train home after I ate one. The coconut on top spilled a bit, but it's fine

This was definitely the lightest of the sweets I got. A quick 1-2 bites and it's gone. I think I had 3 or 4. It's a cute little dessert. It's also a bit chewy, but far less so than the others. There's a softer texture. I think it's a bit sweeter? But not by much. I quite liked this one too. Because it's not as heavy it's easier to eat more of them and I can see this being served in larger amounts are parties.

This is also the only dessert I remembered from UMWA that I watched years ago lmao and I get why they wanted it.

Other thoughts and info

I told the staff that I didn't really know anything about Thai food/desserts and that's why I was there. I saw ads for it on IG and decided to stop by (also it was burning outside & I wanted Thai milk tea to revive myself). They just opened & the cafe is only 6 months old, so the person was able to give me recommendations and explanations to the general idea of thai desserts.

Coconut and pandan are very important and that definitely came across. If you want Thai food you must accept the coconut. Luckily I like coconut when served with in/with other foods (though rarely raw by itself). Pandan I've never tried before, but it's not bad.

Thai desserts tend to be very delicate. Gotta make it look good for events and elders they joked. It's also not very sweet. Which is true. I wouldn't call anything I ate sweet, which is probably why I liked them so much. I'm not really a fan of sweet things. But the Thai sweets I had were at a good level where they definitely tasted like a dessert, but didn't overwhelm me with sweetness.

My main knowledge of Thai culture is from media (some rock bands, bl), some acquaintances, and the one time I took a linguistics field research course that happened to be on Thai (was actually one of my fav classes). So I know a bit but it was nice to see more into the cuisine. Especially since I live far from a wider variety of foods in general.

They were a bit different to the sweets I usually eat (if any). So I thought I'd share my thoughts

[intruality-overlord]

Why Are We (Best) Friends?

Warnings: Excessive swearing, alcoholism, mentions of drugs, drug use, suggestive humor, implied sexual content (no smut), some gore descriptions. Generally, Remus stuff.

Taglist: @blogging-time @veraisnotfine @littlestr @jessibbb @ibroken-butterflyi @hi-its-tutty @idkanameatall

(For these first couple chapters I have tagged people I thought might be interested in reading this. Please let me know if you want to be added or removed from the tag list!)

Chapter One: Cookie Mix

May 2nd, 2017.

To say Patton was hammered, would be the biggest understatement ever conceived. Twelve bottles of cider had him misplace his share of the brain cell. He didn't have the cognitive ability to think the others seeing him like this would not be ideal, or any residual, instinctual fear in his bloodstream. Did he even have any blood at this point? His veins burned just like his throat while guzzling that bitter, bittersweet liquid conscience tranquilizer.

(Patton's liver fucking hates him.)

Welp, you can blame Patton's legs for listening to Patton. They shouldn't have enabled his poorly timed cookie cravings. And you can also blame the wall that foolishly did the job of keeping him upright, which Patton's spine had boycotted knowing the consequences of their actions.

And at least it was... somewhere around ten at night, Patton thought, so most had gone to bed by now. That was what the clock said last time he checked it, anyway... which was yesterday, by now.

He wandered into the kitchen and made a beeline for the cookie jar. (Beeline in the more accurate, literal sense that you couldn't tell where he was going until he got there—basically, not a straight line. How dare assume Patton could ever do anything straight). It was empty.

Patton would be damned if he didn't get his fucking cookies.

So what was the next best thing? He'd bake himself his own goddamn cookies.

Riffling through the kitchen cabinets, Patton came across a paper bag totally-not-suspiciously labeled "Cookie Mix.tm" and he grabbed it. Pft, duh, what else do you make cookies out of? The bag contained a white powder reminiscent of flour, and in Patton's mind, exactly what he suspected cookie mix looked like. Hmm... some milk and an egg would probably also help. Also, a bowl would be helpful.

Actually, nah, fuck bowls.

Just as Patton was about to put his... globulous creation the relative consistency of wet sand into the oven (or what his drunken mind referred to as "the hot box"), eggshell garnish and all, Remus just so happened to strut into the kitchen. He had been coincidentally drawn to the kitchen by his own cravings in search of his secret stash. Remus believed that the best place to hide your loot is in plain sight where people don't think to question it. Hidden things are only suspicious because of the fact they are hidden, so if they weren't hidden... To his credit, it had worked so far.

Until today.

"Oh, fuck."

Patton spun around at the sound of Remus's voice, losing his balance in the process. Not to worry, he slipped and thudded against Remus's chest, clinging to his sash and smearing white powder all over him. "Reeemuuss!" Patton greeted weirdly excitedly. Patton immediately forgot about the cookies. Out of sight, out of mind. Instead he just stared at Remus for a moment. "You... you rat, ratty Luigi man," he slurred, "nah, ra' sound mean. You more li'e... li'e a mouse. Mousey mouse knock off plumber mouse man."

"Are you okay?" Remus asked, his words coloured by disbelief and it's little brother who's unfortunately going through a midlife crisis, gleeful shock. One does not always come across the beacon of goodness with a higher concentration of alcohol than water making up their body. It was like waking up to a human sized salmon next to you, apparently named Malinda. Which then proceeds to slap you across the face with a slippery fin before splashing away screaming, "We're getting a divorce! You always eat all my spaghetti!" and when you wake for real, you don't even know how to begin phrasing that into a question google would understand. (Remus would know.) This was quality blackmail. Good thing Remus stumbled across Patton and not Deceit.

"Hehe... I've no idea wha' words are righ' now," was all Patton said as he giggled. Green sash clutched tightly, Patton was still staring at him. His weight leaned more and more into Remus. Remus thought it was like staring into the button eyes of a doll behind a thin pane of glass: Innocent until you remember it's Annabelle that you're staring at. He just kept staring, and staring. Remus might've thought Patton was trying to mind read. Maybe he was.

As the heart, Patton encompasses all of Thomas's feelings, including curiosity. Logan also played a big part in Thomas's curiosity, but he didn't have both kinds of curiosity, only the standard. Patton on the other hand, also experienced all of Thomas's morbid curiosity. Morbid curiosity, that feeling that stops you from looking away from a decaying carcass even though you really want to. That urge that keeps your eyes locked on that video of a parasite pulsating in that poor snail's eyestalks, or a zombie ant. (A feeling that the others severely discouraged Patton to entertain— not that he blamed them.)

(Many like to believe they'd never dare be so fascinated by the macabre and the gruesome. This is called denial.)

This always made it very hard for Patton to look away from Remus. It made him cling to every word Remus stringed into a sentence, no matter how obscene— especially actually. His morbid curiosity enticed him to Remus like a lamp to a moth— Wait— water to a duck's back— No—... Patton was very drunk. Don't expect him to be able to come up with similes and sayings.

A loopy, arguably deranged smile smiled stretched Patton's cheeks. "Your sash matches your eyes," he gasped deliriously. Patton booped him on the nose, then mindlessly twirled the curled ends of Remus's mustache (and it was nice in a queer way, as Remus was very willing to admit since his brother took every drop of dignity they had with him when they split). "An' your mustache loo' li'e mouse whis'ers— no! A lil' ca'erpilla'," he giggled. Then promptly passed out.

(Remus sighed, knowing he'd have to clean up Patton's mess for both their sakes. He hoped to whatever entity or entities held power over the universe that Patton hadn't eaten the... "dough" like he normally would have. By the looks of it, Patton could hardly handle one addiction as it was.)

(}ï{)

Patton regretted nothing. Mostly because he didn't remember anything to regret.

Until a few days later when Remus realised he couldn't take the pressing guilt of knowing his secret and told Patton what happened. They became fast friends from then on. Don't ask them exactly how they don't fucking know. This story is as much of an explanation you'll get.

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