#But I thought it would be fun to redo the old meme

[offkilterkeys]

I spent way too long remaking this meme I did like a year ago.

[mycrayolamarkers]

I gave too much thought to this, I don't know why I care so much about this

So when I was making memes based on the @i-cant-sing Resident Evil 8 series and some of my dumb Head cannons. For one meme I had to do some math. Y/n was at least 12-13 years old during the events of RE7 so she can be at least 15-16 years old in RE8.

So Ethan was born 1984 so let's give a random day and month so February 20th, 1984, and Mia was given a full date of birth December 14, 1984. Ethan was like 27 years old and Mia was 26 years old when they were married on May 29th, 2011.

If Y/n was made on their honeymoon let's say May 31, 2011, and she would be born on February 21st, 2012. RE7 takes place in 2017 give it a random day so June 8th. That would make Y/n 5 years old and RE8 takes place on February 9, 2021, which would make Y/n 8 years old. Which wouldn't make sense so I have to redo the math.

So Mia was 19 years old in 2004 which would make Ethan 20 years old. Let's say Mia was 19 years old when she had Y/n. The average cycle of Months of pregnancy is 8-9 months but for this let's say 8 months. Y/n was born on November 2004 the day I gave was the 12th.

During RE7 2017 y/n was 12 years old and RE8 would make Y/n 16 years old. Fun fact the Re8DLC takes place in the year 2037 making Y/n 32 years old.

[vicomaco]

Ahoy reader, I'm here to vent. My second favorite season is coming, outside the window the sky is showering washing away the sweltering warmth and it inspires me to do the same with my suffocating self, now in pre-mid life (33) and confuse on the direction, tired of all those coats I've put on my shoulders without consent of a self now lost inside the textile. I just spent 2 or more hours of a working day cleaning my tumblr page, I made all of my past drawings private. Doing so I retraced the 10 or more years spent in this platform through different life phases and artistic epiphanies. I realized how much I forgot of myself, especially the joy I had drawing my pictures in my sparetime. Since I remember I have always had a sketchbook and a trousse of pens and pencils on me, everywhere. During elementary, college, high schools, I remember long train trips filling pages with doodles and thoughts. I stopped filling sketchbooks around eight years ago, close to my diploma, I had countless short deadlines, many white nights and a lot of stress. But I still had school assignements and side projects with friends both done in traditional techniques. No more traditional drawing for me, but still drawing for side fun projects. The school trained me to be an illustrator, more than a comic artist. To experiment and test different tools, my favorite still are inks and gouaches. Life after school became all about comics. And comics, at the - fucking long- beginning of your carreer are 90% ridiculously poor payed. The reasonable choice I took to balance that with the time spent on each page was to learn to actually make them on photoshop, safer if you have to erase, remove pages, redo faces. I didn't have much spare time, but when I had I used it experimenting brushes and learning a bit better the programs while making doodles for myself. No, actually a big changement happened: social networks. Facebook, Tumblr, Instagram and all. Part of me was doing them for myself and in order to evolve the technique, part of me was doing them to display them online. The quest for the "likes" serotonin-dispenser just started.

Now, in bigger comic projects, with bigger life events, and less daily energy I have no spare time, I'm full into professional work. Written by someone else, I'm full time into someone else's world. Comics are already life-sucking, but a life-sucking project when it's not even yours it sucks even the ground under your feet. Now I watch, I don't see, I execute, I'm unable to observe anymore. So I don't post on socials anymore, I'm being consumed by them while consuming time, brainless, zombiengly lurking memes and other distractions from the void this job created in me. I don't remember what I like, what I want to draw, what I would write on a sketchbook and god how I miss traditional techniques, I miss having my own ideas, my personal vertical projects and my personal horizontal purpose, I miss the joy behind my work, I don't remember myself. I've never been consistent, nor obsessed too much on something. I've always be in love with the act of drawing, the state of mind you have while doing it, the beautiful line, the beautiful palette. Every subject could be nicely done. I deeply respect artists with the same style, experimenting inside their comfort zone, obsessed with a subject and pursuing it year after year after year. They are coherent, awhile ago they chose one only coat and they decide to wear only that, and year after year it fits them always better. I myself I'm much better than before in terms of style, composition, lines, narration. The appearence of my style is much more solid, the inside is void. My old drawings in this blog were impressive, they could tell the joy I had experimenting. The oldest ones, the traditional ones, were the happiest. My technical traditional skills were better than my actual digital ones and the soul behind each sketch was so alive! I removed the old drawings from my blog not because I'm ashamed by them. But because I had a pity looking at this decline over and over, I wanted a -maybe?- fresh start. Fall always offers me new resolutions and will for changes, now I'm imploding, I'm sick of memes, I'm sick of stupidities, I'm sick of my poor time management. I want to come back in tumblr because it was, to my remindings, the healthier of the social networks, the less silly (at least my dashboard), the more balanced in aesthetic and content. I want to try to let it help me venting or finding myself again, I guess. Are you experiencing my same sickness of the pointless time-sucking web?

[hellaversepolls]

So i'm starting to get close to 300 followers (i'm at about 280 something rn).

When I reached 200 followers, i redid an old poll that didn't have a lot of votes, and i think people had a fair amount of fun with that so I think i'm going to make that a reoccurring thing for the blog. I think it'd be fun to do as a monthly thing, that way people get more opportunities to answer polls they missed.

Whichever poll wins here will be redone after this poll is finished (so next Monday, August 12th)

and for anyone who wants to know how I got these polls:

Top Polls with the least amount of votes (that I thought should be included and haven't been redone):

Do you think the surviving egg boi is actually Frank? (1st poll, 12 votes)

Do you sinners have the ability to change their hair however/whenever they want? (7th poll, 13 votes)

If Lucifer had a computer, would he play "Placid Plastic Duck Simulator"? (2nd poll, 19 votes)

Do you think Keekee needs to eat? (67th poll, 20 votes)

what do you guys think Alastor's hair color was when he was alive? (6th poll, 23 votes)

Where do Egg Boiz go when they die? (40th poll, 24 votes)

Given how big of a meme it is, do you think Weird Cat!Alastor will find its way into the show? (28th poll, 25 votes)

What kind of eggs are the Egg Bois? (21st poll, 26 votes)

Where does Cherri Bomb get her bombs? (46th poll, 26 votes)

How often are the Egg Boiz' weird statements true? (49th poll, 27 votes)

What i excluded:

fmk/fmk alts/smash or pass/smash or pass alts

april fools polls

polls with questions that were already answered

[ezrisdax-archive]

If you could fully rewrite Mass Effect 2, how would you do it?

I'd lean harder into the keepers already being controlled by the reapers and in charge of the citadel. I wouldn't have done the collector arc at all as related to the protheans tbh, while the reveal was cool the first time I played it the more I thought about it and the lore they gave us in ME3 just didn't make it make much sense because once again, they have this genetic touch memory power so why did they get rid of it when the collectors could have solved a lot of things that way.

but yeah. hm, a full redo of ME2...there's certain beats I might wanna keep like Shep dying which was certainly impactful and Liara becoming the shadowbroker which is important to her arc, and except for Jacob's (which I'd redo entirely) I wouldn't change much in the content of the squadmate missions. When it comes to Shep joining Cerberus though I'd offer more pushback and actually bringing up the ME1 stuff if you did that missions, like have a conversation branch associated with that. Maybe even have it where if you against it enough you'd lose assests and Shep is in fact playing Cerberus the way Tali suggests but has to walk a careful line otherwise let's say you lose Miranda and Jacob as squadmates once you have enough.

Now the suicide mission I'd keep but I think I'd change the whole idea of it, like yeah omega relay can stay but you're not going to stop the collectors, you're trying to just block the reapers from coming in through a certain other access point. maybe the omega relay is like a copy of the citadel, an original one the reapers made but wasn't fully functional and the keepers have been leaving the old citadel and no one knows where they're going because no one's realized that the omega relay is an old citadel yet. and that's just mentioned really here and there and not the main plot persay but something that plays a major point of tying in.

so for the main arc I'm okay with keeping the collectors and having them kidnap humans but I'd just have them be this new alien that no one knew of, not something known before because again, why send sovereign if you had them right there. or hell maybe they were part of the galaxy before but they did believe Shep and chose to go the Saren route and now you've got a whole race that's chosen to work for the Reapers instead of just one person. and while they do start by taking humans to serve up to the Reapers in an attempt to not have their species taken towards the end they also start taking other species. I just wanted more in ME2 where Shep has to build relationships with other species and not just their squadmate of that species. and then that plays in to ME3 depending on how to treated those species. did you rescue them along with the humans or not?

actually I might change Legion's story a little now that I think about it, maybe have his side the heretics who chose not to believe in the Reapers as gods and his side is the one you have to prevent a rewrite of. and then in ME3 you have to convince the other Geth the Reapers aren't gods and forge that alliance with them and the Quarian. I just think this new species of robots who have a belief system like that was a fascinating story and I wanted more of a look into it.

ME2 mostly bugs me because the collector backstory and we don't get as much interactions with reapers but I admit I'm not quite clever enough fully to figure out how to tie the reapers in more how I want them to be. mr "assuming direct control" is fun as a meme but he really lacked the shock and elegance Sovereign had. that first talk with Sovereign is still one of the best reveals and so creepy. I think rather than end it fully with a suicide mission we do have some reapers come through. now you've stopped most of them but there's some here now and rather than end it with a fight of the human reaper end it with fights of the actual reapers. like maybe they've slipped through and gone off and no one knows when they're about to attack but they are here now. which then you have them start the attack on the batarian sector and Shep going to save them and failing and blowing up the relay to stall again. not have that as a DLC though, I'm still salty about that. but that's where the game ends, they're actually in the galaxy and have done some destruction and for all Sheps attempts they failed in their own way. ME2 per the arrival as the actual end is just bittersweet so keep it on that note to lead into ME3.

[cathythestupid]

Found this old thoosie reply meme in my drafts, so i’m gonna redo it with all my current coaster opinions.

1. What is your coaster count?

193 coasters!!! kinda neat

2. What are your top 10 coasters?

never been good with ranking coasters, but off the top of my head:

Steel Vengeance

Storm Chaser

Skyrush

Phantom’s Revenge

Maverick

Cornball Express

Wicked Cyclone

Twisted Colossus

Phoenix (Knoebels)

Afterburn [this will always remain at the number 10 spot for emotional reasons, afterburn was there for me when no 1 else was in 2019]

3. An overrated coaster?

The year I’ve spent not being a thoosie means i have no pulse on what people discourse over. Fury 325 was disappointing for me, but also I rode it in November when I worked at Carowinds, so like, I have room in my heart to believe it does fuck in warmer weather. Similar deal with Lightning Rod.

4. An underrated coaster?

Idk, Raging Bull? again, no idea what people discourse over.

5. A coaster that gets way too much hate?

My answer in 2017 was Cedar Creek Mine Ride lol. It’s a jank ride with no terrain usage outside of the drop over the lagoon, but i’ve got some good memories with it. Also I didn’t find the restraints on Superman: The Ride at SFNE that bad, but idk, maybe i’m just built different. They’re not ideal tho.

6. Your thoughts on B&M Hypers?

When they hit, they hit. The powerful yet graceful airtime they deliver is simply euphoric. I like the speed hill on Candymonium, hope the hill on mako is just as good whenever I make it down to Florida lol

7. Your thoughts on Intamin Mega-Lites?

They look, pretty good. Coaster designs have becomes much wilder since, so I don’t have an urgent desire to ride one. But I would probably still find it quite fun!

8. Your thoughts on Maurer Spinning coasters?

The standard layout is alright. I think the gerstlauer spinners are better, but some of the custom maurer layouts look interesting.

9. Your thoughts on Schwarzkopf?

If only they were the more successful coaster manufacturer of their era... they knew how to shape track better than their contemporaries, and some of their design quirks are really cool, like the super postive heavy loops.

10. Your thoughts on Zierer?

I’ve been on a couple Tivolis, they’re fine. Impulse at Knoebels is an alright eurofighter knock-off, thank god they replaced the trains though, the originals from Zierer sucked.

11. Your thoughts on Gravitykraft?

They know how to make rides with good fuckin’ airtime. I love Boardwalk Bullet and Ravine Flyer II.

12. Your thoughts on Gerstlauer?

They have improved since their earlier days making janky coasters, but I definitely get why people might not vibe with their inversion-heavy layouts. I hope I get to go on some of their wackier rides in Europe someday

13. Name 8 parks you want to visit in your home country

Busch Gardens Tampa

Busch Gardens Williamsburg

Canobie Lake Park

Six Flags Over Texas

Six Flags Fiesta Texas

Silverwood

California’s Great America

Six Flags Over Georgia

14. Name 8 parks outside of the your home country that you want to visit

Canada’s Wonderland

Hansa Park

Europa Park

Phantasialand

Alton Towers

Gröna Lund

Liseberg

Tokyo DisneySea

15. Name three coasters you want to ride in these countries:

France: OzIris, Alpina Blitz, Toutatis

Italy: iSpeed, Katun, Storm

Germany: F.L.Y., Taron, Karnan

Netherlands: Untamed, Baron 1898, Troy

Belgium:  Kondaa, Ride To Happiness, Anubis: The Ride

Japan: Steel Dragon 2000, Hakugei, Slope Shooter

Canada: Leviathan, Mindbender, Dragon Mountain

Country of your choice (Spain): Shambhala, Gotham City Escape, Muntanya Russa (Tibidabo)

16: How would you fix a coaster that you don’t like? (No Removal or RMC-ing)

Do an actually good retrack of Wildcat @ Lake Compounce! I don’t understand why it is the way it is (as funny as the jackhammering is to me)!

17:  Your thoughts on Piraten (https://rcdb.com/4038.htm)

It’s a Mega-lite. see mega-lite question

18. Your thoughts on Takabisha (https://rcdb.com/9795.htm)

I’d like to go on it, it seems like a neat ride. I don’t totally fuck with Gerst, but I’m not completely uninterested in their various coasters.

19. Your thoughts on Olympia Looping (https://rcdb.com/13819.htm)

I need that weirdly shaped loop in my life. Have yet to go on a traveling Schwarz

20. Your thoughts on Monster (https://rcdb.com/12896.htm)

I need that weirdly shaped loop in my life. Despite not being as much of a thoosie anymore, I still really want to go to Adventureland in Iowa for the sake of writing a lesbian roadtrip novel.

21. Your thoughts on Nefekesen (https://rcdb.com/10831.htm)

this copypasta has some of the weirdest questions, I swear to god. I heard it’s a really short ride, so maybe it’s like Maxx Force? But I don’t think I’ll ever ride it.

22. Your thoughts on Verbolten (https://rcdb.com/9463.htm)

Funny German woman say things. the show building looks kinda eh, but i’ll probably still enjoy it.

23. Your thoughts on Abismo (https://rcdb.com/3185.htm)

The concept of an extended Maurer Sky Loop is cool, but I can live without experiencing it. Leaving the thoosie community due to thoosie trauma really make you reevaluate how much you need to ride coasters.

24. Your thoughts on Hydra (https://rcdb.com/2528.htm)

I had a pretty good ride on it in the front the one time I was at Dorney. The jojo roll is fun, and there’s also a couple good airtime moments. I think I like Bizarro better though? It’s tough bc B&M Floorless coasters are kinda eh in general.

25. Favorite coaster to ride at night?

Steel Vengeance! ride runs so fast through the first half at night the airtime is painful! and i’m into that.

26. Favorite coaster theme?

Hagrid bike, probably. Following the construction of it through bioreconstruct on Twitter was a fun time in my life, and all the architecture and scenery looks pretty good.

27. Favorite coaster logo?

The Millennium Force swooshy “M“. So slay. (i was not able to upload the file to tumblr for some reason)

[kork-inkorkerated]

Part two (ig) of the Dr:S inspired fantasy AU !

For Nagito, I decided to play pretty heavily into the little mermaid aesthetic since his canon story has decent parallels ( hopeless romantic, tragic back story undertones, unlucky, self destructive levels of devotion) and also because whenever I draw him please imagine his Japanese VA instead of his English VA.

(When it comes to memes , Bryce is pretty good and I don’t hate his voice, but I think Megumi does a much better job of encapsulating ALL of Nagito’s character better( her softer tone definitely helps imo) not just the more comedic bits.)

As for his outfit’s individual details, I leaned into servant’s pretty liberally as well lol. My initial thought for this was some sort of twist on a holy prophet. Like he could be an envoy of the god of the sea or something, or even a water nymph himself.

Like with the Kokichi piece, part of the fun is not knowing entirely what his deal is lol. My Nagito in Danganronpa S had “Ice freeze all” so I gave him hand wraps since like Rantaro he’d probably get cold a bit too easily (and also because in canon he’s pretty sickly) .

The pseudo shawl around his shoulders and his waists have stripes on them, a nod to both old style striped sailor uniforms and Servant’s striped shirt. He also has the skill “debuff” so I decided to lean into the more “gentle death “ type Nagito ( the one seen more clearly in his character songs lol) who is kind of not even trying to be an antagonist but he’s long accepted that it’s just how things are. He also has “sleep”in my game and I like to imagine that translates into songs like lullabies or ballads lulling people into sleep. His shawls and over skirt are white and airy but tattered, to complete the whole eerily beautiful look, like the transience of life that is again referenced in one of his character songs.

For Izuru, I wanted his body and outfit to clash in a sort of way. I wanted to make it look like his head didn’t fit his body or uniform because he was technically “possessing” it. Obviously he and Hajime share one for this specific concept I had, although that was only this design and since it’s a fantasy au, I’ve grown more fond of the idea of them having seperate bodies so I might redo his design!

Though it’s not colored, I imagined him with the typical red eyes and black hair Izuru has. I also really like the “Izuru has emotions he just doesn’t know how to express them” headcanon ( and this is an au so I do what I want uwu) and the Izuru I like to draw is typically the silent affection type. He’s still got the look of someone who is born of apathy but he’ll do things like lean in for a hug or skin ship or be an absolute cuddle monster, all while not changing his expression. Out of all of his design choices , his hair was the hardest. I tried to make it as similar to his canon hair that I could but looking at the references, his hair is kinda a little dumb so I reworked it just a little bit, giving it a more proper whorl and making it a bit thinner to fit the wispy shadow motif he has going on .

The two of them are obviously close in the AU, and much like canon I like to imagine that Izuru is a godlike figure for Nagito, with Izuru being not really all that excited about that lol. I also like the common headcanon that Izuru isn’t entirely ���bored’ of Nagito and might even be one of the less boring people in his life due to his luck cycle, so that’s in play here. This Izuru is kinda uncomfortable with how much Nagito puts himself down but lacking the full range of expressions he can’t convey it as clearly or bluntly as Nagito would need to see to get it. Part of their character arc is dealing with that and working towards common ground, kind of like a fusion of an old married couple and newly weds lol.

That’s pretty much it for now for this au in terms of characters I’ve drawn ^^

Thank you for reading if you got this far and have a good day!

[mizugucci]

🎵 if you want 👀💐💘

of course!! hope you like it!

position: oooo ok i think rapper and lyricist!!! i think youd also be pretty good at singing, but terrible at dancing. you're not the oldest or the youngest, nor the most/least popular. you're just kinda chillin which is nice, but you shine the most in your groups concepts bc you're known for not taking yourself seriously

group name: not to like, take inspo from nct or anything but ur group name would be NEOS which the prefix neo as everyone knows means 'new, fresh' and basically the point of your group is to revive old concepts and turn them modern/contemporary -- or at least, thats what it was supposed to be like sinceNEOS is technically short for neoclassical, which is what your company debuted your group for, but its a running joke in the fandom that its short for neologism (which are literally just words that relatively new and are kind of accepted but not into Mainstream Academia -- i.e. words brought upon via the internet, such as 'karen' and 'doggo') these words often come about when the words we had before lack the direct meaning the person was wanting, or as a new version of the original word.

concept: the reason i ranted to much about the meaning behind your name is because ORIGINALLY, your group's concept was revivals -- taking cheesy old 2000s era concepts and redoing them. except, it never came off very well and instead people made fun of the new mv and stuff like that. but instead of being discouraged, your group decided to use that and lean INTO being stupid and meme-y. there are 7 members in the group, and part of your comeback preps, you all scour the internet for fun new memes

debut song: originally i write about debut songs, but like i said your group totally flopped in your debut and first two comebacks, so ill talk about the comeback that made you popular. dont hate me for this but the comeback is entirely frog related. it starts off inconspicuous just about cute frogs in hats and stuff but quickly devolves into memes and pepe the frog and. well. people actually love it lmfao. and somewhere in there you pay tribute to the original kpop meme, gangnam style. its all very fun and upbeat!

fun fact: your fans constantly vote on which tv show you watch every month or so, and basically you have watch parties with your fans so you can liveblog it, kind of and like. ur fans are ALWAYS calling you out and starting fights over 'OMG NO he should have chosen HER' or whatever tv bullshit LOL but its all fun and games <3 and. one time u actually lost some fans because u had already seen the show they wanted you to watch, and in the first 20 mins you spoiled the entire show and some ppl freaked. most of your fans thought it was funny tho.

send me a 🎵 and ill create a kpop group with you in it, based on your blog!!

[smallblip]

okay but levi being a softie for hanji???? he's so intimidating despite of his height (the cadets learned to not make fun of his height. ever again.) and nobody tries to piss him off because they're scared of him but when he's with hanji he's so sweet???? like he braids their hair, makes them tea, holds hanji's hands and it's so sweet yk? i imagine the new cadets accidentally finding levi sitting under a tree and he has his head resting on their shoulder while hanji's reading their research and he's just staring at them, counting hanji's little freckles and he has the softest look on his face 🥺

and the cadets are like ???? because they thought "Captain Levi was mean???" some of them would even go gossip with the 104th kids and they would just look at and start laughing and the cadets would just be confused 😆

Ugh! Sorry this took so long bb! Embarrassingly, it was because I was trying to find and edit this meme and I got distracted doing it!

LEVI:

I’m living for this? On the surface it’s kinda hard to tell when Levi is ACTUALLY being affectionate, because resident emotionally inept bb whom we all love and cherish. So it’s like-

ALSO LEVI:

Every time he calls Hanji four eyes/idiot/tells them to shut up/pulls them closer by the collar, everyone just holds their breath because oh god! Levi is going to kill them this time! He’s going to kill them and we don’t even know what Hanji san wants on their headstone? But Hanji always responds with laughter and they’re so at ease and comfortable around Levi and they just put their arm around his shoulder? What’s going on?

So everyone (because everyone gossips during down time, there’s nothing else to do goddamn it!) starts observing them a little closer. Levi sitting with Hanji when they’re reading a book, Hanji always looking for Levi to talk to him about their new discoveries, Levi making tea for Hanji while nagging at them, the two of them just sitting and chilling on a bench under a tree in fall like an old couple. They’re not touching but they’re sitting so close and Levi’s got his arm where Hanji is leaning against the bench. Levi is also looking at them with said /soft look/, which is worlds apart from the scowl he usually sports on his face? (/Reiner’s voice/ You stare too much...) Gross? Another time Levi has his head on their shoulder and Hanji’s looking at him like ☺️ (lil blushy baby)? Extra gross? And when Hanji finally decides to get up from where they’re reading her book in the mess and head to bed, Levi gets up soon after and goes in the same direction? This is the era of relatively carefree buntaicho Hanjo so maybe they rocked up to work in a braid! But after an intense day at work their braid comes loose by the afternoon and they spot Levi in the mess for lunch and they skip over and yell out an unabashed “Levi! It came loose!” They point to their head and beam. Levi mutters something under his breath that vaguely sounds like “the screws up there have always been loose...” but he’s redoing their braid with so much care that the kids just gawk. And Hanji is so casual about it. Adorable.

But when the new cadets come in of course they wouldn’t notice! They see harsh Levi, Levi who is cold to everyone, Hanji who NEVER stops talking, and Levi just tolerating it. Wait! Levi? Tolerating? What’s up with that?

And by this time, the 104 are veterans when it comes to observing Levi/Hanji. So I imagine Jean to be a complete smartass about it- “oh? You didn’t know? Silly young things! Isn’t it obvious? They’re lovers. /eyebrow wriggles/“

And the new kids would be so confused and just wtf? We need more information?

And the 104 kids will milk this power. Connie puts a hand on the shoulder of one of the new kids and says, “one day you’ll get it... Maybe when you’re a little older...”

[faunusrights]

Citrus Summers (GWS AU)

just had this idea nip into my head... i really wanna do more with menagerie and the scarlatina fam but for now have this lil snapshot of velvet growing up :)

great weiss shark au, weiss's pronouns are she/her, velvet's pronouns are she/they

###

"So, what was your hometown like?"

Velvet's used to Weiss's interest in her life; they come from two radically different ends of some bonkers spectrum of lifestyles, where one end (Velvet's) is radical self-acceptance, anti-cop sentiment, and a Scroll full to bursting with communist memes, whilst the other end (Weiss's) is... well, to be honest, Velvet doesn't like to think about what that end entails, exactly. All she knows is that it was exactly what a young shark Faunus without any clue as to her heritage didn't need. So, Velvet entertains her with stories of growing up in the deserts of Menagerie, of her time running along the trash-strewn beaches of Kuo Kuana, of her years shooting up like a weed under the relentless freckling kisses of the bright and vibrant sun.

Sometimes Velvet can tell she can't quite wrap her head around how different their lives are, yet have somehow ended up on such an intersection as to be able to call each other friends. Velvet just goes with the flow about it all.

"Well, we didn't have a hometown, really," Velvet starts, attention half-drawn to sets of plans scattered about her desk in her dorm. She's got big plans to improve Anesidora's projector and fix the information compression problems; drawing a flat 2D image into a 3D projection has always been a sticking point, but she's nearly got it down to the extent that her wireframe tests very nearly reveal the dents and dings and imperfections that it'd previously ironed out by mistake. Accuracy is key, and she crawls ever closer to a perfect 1-to-1 copy each and every day. It's just really boring work, is all. "We lived outside of the nearest town by a couple of miles, but we went there pretty regularly, so I guess you could call it that."

Weiss hums, letting herself fall back onto Velvet's unmade bed, the handwoven blankets of orange and black brought straight over from the homeland and still gritty with red dirt to prove it. "What's it called?"

"Desert Sands. Very original, I know."

"You know a lot of the people there?"

"Shit, they trade us meat and gas for potatoes and carrots and tomatoes, not to mention almost everyone there immigrated in a group with my grandparents. I know that town like my own family."

"What's your favourite thing there?"

That pulls Velvet up short, and she worries at her bottom lip as she stares as a variety of absolutely godawful equations. Thank the maidens Weiss has given her something meaty to say, because she can't bear the idea of redoing all this horrible maths. "Uh, probably the inn, as everyone else who lives there would say. Can't go wrong with a good old fashioned pint and a few rounds of pool."

"Even as a kid?" Weiss says, and Velvet can hear the raised brow even though she can't quite see it.

"Even as a kid," Velvet agrees. "My mam had a couple of pints and my da flirted with the guys and I'd go out with my siblings to meet our friends and raise a little hell. Not very often, but often enough."

Weiss goes sort of quiet, in a way that Velvet recognises as an intensive processing of what she's just heard. She wonders, briefly, if Weiss can even imagine that sort of freedom after a childhood spent locked in the same old rooms of the same old house--even when it's as big as the Schnee manor--and then pushes that thought away. If Weiss wants to ever get into all that, it'll be in her own time.

"Describe it to me?" Weiss asks in a very little voice after a few seconds, and Velvet nods. She can do that. She remembers those halcyon days like they were yesterday.

###

"Trench, I swear, if you don't repaint those window sills I'm gonna sneak down here and do it myself, asshole."

This was about as typical an entry as Taffeta Scarlatina could ever make, shouldering open the dark wood door into the Desert Sands Inn with a grin on her face and children in tow, Ash bringing up the rear and trying to pretend he couldn't see everyone turn in their seats to look to the new arrivals. It was one of those establishments with a big boxy interior and just a handful of rooms to the side, where the only three doors led into the toilets and the kitchens and the stairwell to the rooms above, and much like everything else on Menagerie, nothing ever matched; the doors had been collected from a variety of sources, the floorboards uneven and scratched and recut, the paint on the walls patchy with mismatched shades and covered with picture frames in some last-ditch attempt to hide it. No two stools matched, no three tables carved by the same hand, but that was the price of the community effort--everything you ever needed, maybe just not in the way you always expected.

"Taffeta," Trench greeted from behind the bar, turning to fetch a pair of glasses without prompting whilst making sure not to jostle the hanging bottles overhead with his great buffalo horns, split like a strange middle parting on the top of his head. "You're welcome to it, to be frank; Cinna doesn't have a clue where she's put the paint, last we saw it."

Taffeta rolled her eyes, letting go of Velvet's hand to pat her between her ears instead, the ten year old quick to laugh and duck away. "I'm sure. Not at all like I said I have some lying around the last three times I was here. You really that scared of scraping all that flaking paint off?"

"Well," Trench said after a moment, leaning under the bar for a second. "I did get some in my eyes last time, and boy, that hurted. You want your usual?"

"Pint of porter for me, and something weak for my pretty boy, lest he forget which way is up," Taffeta agreed, shooting a wink Ash's way and cackling when he blushed. "And some juice boxes for the kids?"

Trench didn't even pause, turning about to fish out a variety of colourful cartons adorned with a collection of cartoon characters, and Taffeta lifted Velvet up to plop her onto one of the few cushioned stools, Chiffon quick to use her older, longer limbs to scramble her own way up. Trench offered the drinks out freely, letting them decide between orange and passionfruit flavours, before noticing the new addition on Ash's hip. "Oh? This the newest Scarlatina?"

Satin--hardly a year old--was clinging to her da's loose shirt, dark eyes looking about in wonder, and Taffeta smiled before reaching over to brush her loose, light hair out of her eyeline. "Sure is. Gettin' real big already, so we thought it was high time to meet the folks around here. She won't be the last, though." At that, Taffeta leant across the bar, dropping her voice low. "Would you believe me if I said Ash is already askin' for the next one?"

"Slander," Ash shot back, face still pink. "I just said four is a rounder number than three."

Trench made a face, glancing pointedly away. "My girl woulda mounted my horns on the wall for that one. We had just the one and she swore off the rest before I could even consider it. Count yourself lucky."

"Cinnamon's a good kid," Ash offered, rearranging Satin to sit a little nicer in his lap. "I think that all worked out in the end."

Taffeta rolled her eyes, watching as Velvet picked the orange juice for herself, leaving the eldest to the passionfruit. "Doesn't that imply we have so many 'cause you don't think just one was good enough? Chiff's a darling, if a bit of a pain in my ass, huh, baby?"

Chiffon ignored them both to instead help Velvet punch the straw into the carton, and Ash grinned. "Just one was perfect, but you told me yourself that you don't think I know when to fold."

"You don't," Trench interjected, pouring out a pint of something dark and bitter enough to linger on the tongue. "When we played poker last year... phew. Thank the maidens it was a couple's night, else you woulda been walking home absolutely stark--"

"--drunk," Taffeta quickly interrupted, glancing towards the kids who stared back with wide eyes. "Been walking home absolutely stark... trashed. Wasted. Uh, Trench, what's on the menu today, whilst it's on my mind?"

As they discussed the menu (Taffeta eager to point out the contributions of the family crops, asking, overly sweetly, and who traded you those lovely chickens? they must have been very generous), Chiffon turned to Ash in her seat, legs swinging freely, bumping into the overly-varnished wood of the bar. "Da? Can me 'n Velv go out and play?"

"Sure can, kiddo," Ash said, though he was quick to grab Chiffon's arm before she could throw herself off the stool with the straw still in her mouth. "Woah, take that out first before you end up swallowing it. You remember the rules?"

Chiffon nodded, face cast all seriously. "Don't go outta town. Be back before dark. If someone tries to bully us, punch 'em in the nose."

"And?" Ash added, drawing his brows together.

Velvet chirped up. "Cops aren't friends!"

At that, Ash broke out into a grin, as bright as Velvet's and twice as toothy. "That's right. You go have fun, and don't eat too many snacks; we're having dinner here before we go home."

Chiffon slid free of her stool, turning about to help Velvet down too, and then the pair scampered towards the door with a harmonised yes da! before pulling it open to the main road outside, the sunlight blisteringly bright, the sky an endless, cloudless blue overhead. The paint on the windowsill peeled off and flecked away, and under their shoes, the ground crunched.

Everything tasted of oranges.

###

Weiss sits silently.

"Did you get back before dark?"

Velvet snorts, sitting back in her chair until it creaks dangerously below. "Just about, though my mam didn't look all that impressed. Still, can't do much about it; we didn't even have, like, landline calls back then, let alone Scrolls and shit."

Weiss laughs to herself, rolling over and tucking her legs up onto Velvet's bed until she's curled atop the blankets, running a thumb over the wool quietly, repetitively. Truth is, they still smell of Menagerie, of home; Velvet could wash it a thousand times, but the earthy scent of hot summers and prickling scrublands sticks like its own aura.

"I'm jealous," Weiss says simply, and then she draws the blankets up to partly cocoon herself, tight across the ribs, loose about the ankles. "Will I... would you show me it, sometime? If I went there?"

It's sweet. Velvet wishes she could travel through time and show it to Weiss from the start; she wishes she could have told her what she would have, in the future. Look, see? This is real. You can have this too. Happiness doesn't only exist for people far away; you get to feel this, too.

"Of course," Velvet says with a smile, instead. "Bold if you to think my parents don't demand they meet every single last one of my friends."

Weiss grins back, all shark-toothed and sharp, and Velvet likes how it looks on her face. It took her team months to eek it out of her more often than every couple of weeks, but now, it's practically daily. "I'm afraid the offer doesn't extend back to you."

"Thanks the maidens," Velvet says, very seriously. "Because if I ever meet your dad, I'm setting his car alight."

[hockeyblogg]

you’re all I want - f.andersen

a/n: bringing this back, one of my first Freddie writings that was totally inspired by this picture and the all stars in general. sorry that I haven’t written anything in a long while, I always get super busy for some reason, but hope you enjoy this one !!

warnings: insecure freddie.

You sat on the bench, looking up and watching as Freddie taped his stick.

He had asked if you wanted to attend the NHL All Star weekend and of course you weren’t going to turn him down, but what you hadn’t expected was for him to keep you at his side the entire time. When he was doing media; he had asked if you could stay behind the scenes, when he was meeting with all the other players; he was introducing you to them as well, and now when he finally got to the locker room where everyone was preparing for the skills competition; he asked if you could stay with him until it was time to get dressed. 

You didn’t want to seem like the clingy girlfriend and also be the only girlfriend in the room, so you were about to turn it down and tell Fred that you could just go find his family and sit down with them as you waited, but after seeing a couple of other wives and girls go in, you decided to stay with Freddie.

And you’re kind of glad for that decision.

You watched as he bit his lip in concentration, his eyes focused solely on his stick. You took this time to take him all in; the way the hair on his face was slightly scruffy, his moustache shorter than his beard. You looked at his eyebrows and how they were scrunched together, causing the wrinkle in his forehead to cease more.

You watched his hands and how they worked, how much more bigger they were compared to yours but let’s be honest; everything about this man was much more bigger than you, and you smile at the fact that he’s yours.

Those thoughts don’t last long though, you’re knocked out of them by the calling of your name, and considering you only know two other people in this locker room, you know it’s either Mitch or Auston.

You turn your head and when you catch Mitch’s stare, he’s smiling and waving you over, “C’mere a sec!” You look back at Freddie and he softly smiles, gesturing to his teammate, “Go on then elskede.” Standing up, you walk up to the two boys, “What’s up?”

“Figured you were a little bored, you wanna help me tape my stick?” You merely nod and he hands you the piece of wood, “Just hold it there while I do the top...”

You watched carefully as he taped the top of his stick and you noticed that it was different from the way Fred does his, “Are all sticks different?” you find yourself asking, and Mitch raises his brow, “like taping?” he nods and bites off the end, smoothing it down with his thumb.

“I mean, some are the same way, like the top part, but most of the bottoms are different, especially with goalies, since their sticks are bigger and thicker.” You nod along at his words, “are players picky about their sticks, or is it any way every game?” he flips his stick and leans on it, “well, some players are really suspicious and try to get it right every time, but others; like myself, it doesn’t really matter.”

“here, you try.” he hands you the tape this time, and you shake your head, “No no, I don’t want to mess your stick up.” Mitch simply laughs, “Like I said Y/N, I'm not too picky, go ahead.” You hesitantly took the tape from his hands and he slowly shows you how to do it.

You’re on your last wrap around and Mitch gently smoothes it down, taking his stick back and inspecting it, “This is a great job Y/N.” You make a face, “You don't have to lie.” He laughs, “No really, this is great...” he turns around and taps Auston on the shoulder, “Hey Aus, look at Y/N’s tape job, it’s her first one.” Auston comes around and nods his head, “Hey look at that, that’s amazing.” 

“Really?” You ask suspiciously and they nod their heads, “Yeah, here look, just ask the guys.” Auston tells you and brings a few of the other players over to take a look at it. Pretty soon, Jack Eichel, Travis Konecny, Mat Barzal, and Connor McDavid himself are all praising your work. 

“That’s really great for a first time, might be better than all of ours.”

“Are you sure you did that and not Mitch?”

“Who knows, maybe she’s the one doing all of Mitch’s tape.”

“I’m not even that good.”

Mitch was happy his friends were playing along, if he was being honest, there were some lumps here and there and he knew that he would actually have to redo it, but he didn't want you to feel bad, especially after he told you it was fine no matter how you did it. He especially didn't want Fred to come after him for making you upset. 

So, he watched as you smiled brightly at the praise, and eventually the conversation turned to the competition, you asking each of the guys which skill they were in and them asking more about you, telling you; any friend of Mitch is a friend of ours.

However, as you were talking with the younger guys, your boyfriend was on the other side of the room with a frown set on his face.

Freddie hated when he got this way, when he felt so, old.

He didn’t mind it at all when he saw you with guys you’re age, he’s not a controlling person, but there’s just something inside that makes him feel guilty, as if he's keeping you from living your life the way he thinks you should be.

Watching them all make you laugh, seeing how well you vibe with them and relate to them, the way he feels he can’t, makes him feel, dare he say it, insecure about his place in your life. You need someone who can converse with you like that, someone who's young, fun, and carefree. Fred’s too old to do the fortnite dances, too old to be speaking in ‘vine talk.’

I mean, he couldn’t even offer you to tape his stick, which would’ve been a young, fun thing to do. Instead, he did it himself because he was too superstitious that he wouldn’t play properly if anyone but him got his equipment ready. Something only the old guys do.

He’s so lost in his thoughts that he doesn’t notice you're staring and when he hears your footsteps coming toward him, he averts his eyes from the floor to his pads, trying to make it look like he wasn’t just doubting himself.

As soon as you saw his frown and the crease on his forehead, you knew something was bothering him and so you wished all the boys good luck and walked over, sitting beside him and grabbing hand, “You alright bub?” He nods and sits down, undoing all the straps and you place your hand on his cheek, turning his face to look at yours, “Bub, talk to me.” He stares at you for a second and sighs.

“I just, I'm sorry that I didn't ask if you wanted to tape my stick, I'm sorry if I didn’t notice that you were bored just sitting on the bench-” His words confuse you and you shake your head, causing him to stop, “Fred, I wasn’t bored, and I hadn’t meant to tape Mitch’s stick, he just offered. I’m fine with just watching you get your equipment ready, it’s yours anyway.” He’s still not buying it and you sigh, putting your hand on his knee, “What’s wrong?”

He shrugs, “Every time I see you around people your age, guys your age, I can't help but feel out of place, and it’s not that you can’t hang out with them but I always get this feeling of...” he trails off and you finish for him, “Guilt?” he nods but his eyebrows are furrowed and you huff a laugh, “I feel the same way too Freddie, whenever I see you with people your age, I always feel like I'm a little kid you have to watch over. But, at the end of the day, we have each other to remind ourselves of how much we love each other. I love you so much Fred, I could care less of how old you are. I could care less if you have a ten ‘o’ clock bedtime, if you only watch golf all day, and if you don’t find some memes funny. You’re amazing just the way you are, you’re all I want Freddie.” 

He nods and leans in to place a kiss to your temple, “Thank you elskede, I love you too.” You smile and run your fingers through his hair, “I’m very lucky to have you.” He shakes his head and chuckles, “Darling I think I'm the lucky one.” 

You both sit there as he finishes up with his equipment, glancing at each other and giggling when you catch the other’s eye. Soon after, it’s time for you to leave the room so you wish him luck, and whisper that you love him while connecting your lips. 

Fred watches as you retreat down the hallway and Mitch comes up behind him, “You little sap.” 

[tittytrait]

check in tag

thank you for the tag @bauhauzzz and @marigolde ily!!

why did you choose your url?

i have titties. i like titties.

also i got the url from mari i'm not that funny myself actually

any side blogs? if you have them name them + why you have them

on this account i have: my cc finds that i literally never use, i have my old url saved (laganaphyllis) as well as the more fun version of that url (lasagnaphallus) and also.. pedropascalsimp

how long have you been on tumblr?

since 2011 omg, but i've only had my simblr for 2 years

do you have a queue tag?

i don't even have a queue

why did you start your blog in the first place?

i realised my ts4 hyperfixation probably wouldn't end soon and thought i would post lookbooks or something

why did you choose your icon/pfp?

LEAF!!!! on my head!!!!!!

why did you choose your header?

cause it's pretty and cause i liked the idea of changing my theme with the seasons but i foresaw me being too lazy to redo it again and this one works for spring and summer

what’s your post with the most notes?

this shitty meme i posted before they announced the star wars pack LMAO

how many mutuals do you have?

when was the last time xkit worked

how many followers do you have?

420 BLAZE IT

how many people do you follow?

294 and that's already too many for me LMAO

have you ever made a shitpost?

.....

how often do you use tumblr each day?

i don't wanna talk about it

did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

not really but some people i literally never interacted with have me blocked so.. i won!!

how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?

'please share this' = perfectly fine

'if you don't reblog this you don't care about xy' = kindly fuck off

do you like tag games?

YES!

do you like ask games?

YES!!!

which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

all of them except mari they're a very small simblr

[fiveviktorklaus]

CREATOR TAG MEME

I was tagged by the wonderful @andyoudoctor!

rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works! 

an ode to reginald hargreeves -

because fuck reginald, that’s why! no, but I think that this is probably my favorite thing so far? I spent a lot of time working on this one and redoing a LOT in the process. I am new to the giffing scene and was mostly worried about coloring and figuring out how to make my text look Not Bad up until this set. I spent some time learning how to combine/merge gifs and then had fun messing up using shapes for a while until I finally got that down. it definitely was a set that took longer to make than I anticipated, but I learned a TON and that in itself puts the final creation very close to my heart. also, again: fuck reginald!

she’s beauty, she’s grace!  -

I remember seeing this formula (she’s beauty/grace/etc) used elsewhere and really wanted to make something that rhymed and fit and it took me about all of five seconds to decide that I wanted to use it for allison and her picking on diego. definitely a majorly inspired set!

hey, brother! -

thiiiis was one of my earliest sets? (I literally made this two months ago and I feel like it’s been a year????) I’m kind of a music junkie and I remember going through an old playlist and hey, brother by avicii came on. I knew I had to make something for the hargreeves then, especially since season two of umbrella was still fresh on the brain. the lyrics fit them so well! since then, I’ve learned that one of my fave types of things to do is find a song that I feel like fits a character/character(s) and listen to it while making a gifset. it’s definitely a mood.

vanya is drunk -

OKAY, THIS. I was watching tales of the city for the first time and elliot page’s character had a scene where their character jumps out and is wearing this fun, silly outfit. it made me think of old man five! I thought it would be funny to make a sort of au set where allison and klaus and vanya ended up hanging out and drinking again (as they should!!!) and vanya sort of gets hammered and decides to better understand five by literally dressing up as him (I like to think allison and klaus helped with this) and walking in his shoes. chaos ensues! 

the umbrella academy opening title sequences! (s1 / s2) -

the umbrella academy has one of the coolest way of doing title sequences that I have ever seen. the subtle (or, sometimes, not so subtle!) way of using an explosion shaped like an umbrella to open an episode or having an umbrella jump out at klaus while he’s talking to his siblings only to open with the shows name on it, etc. and so on is so fun to pick out when watching. I wanted to showcase that a bit because it’s such a small, yet big thing that is easy to forget about while watching a series with so much else going on! I am fond of these in particular because I get to see the creative ways that the show put out these openers all in one set, but also because it was a great way for me to really focus on coloring when I worked on them!

thank you for tagging me, @andyoudoctor! tagging @iveheardtherumours and @ogaferoga and anyone else who might want to meme!

[itscookieoverlordtoyou]

40 Questions — Meme for Fic Writers

Don’t you sometimes see those ask games and wish you could just fkg do them all? On this sunny Saturday, we make our dreams reality lolol

1.  Describe your comfort zone—a typical you-fic.

Short fic, I usually get a small scene I want written so I write around it, plus I love short stories with interesting punchline.

2.  Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?

Probably, I don’t know them all ^^’

3.  Is there a trope you wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole?

Writing about stuff that disgust me I guess.

4.  How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Care to share one of them?

Like 5-6? I want to write about a restaurant but set in a world where people have powers I think the combo could be very funny. The main character has the power of insight, the plonge is a giant pool where you swim around cleaning. Backstories of characters with shitty and amazing powers and how they ended up here. Rival to lover character that has the power to see into the future.

5. Share one of your strengths.

Dialogues, subversion, and humor; classmates often said I have a touch to spin a sad story into something positive/happier.

6.  Share one of your weaknesses?

I get tired when I describe something for longer than 4 sentences.

7.  Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

“In what kind of trouble have we walked right into?”, I ask my companions as they’re idly fixing their attire. Together, we’ve face many perils and this mission ranks among one of the most dangerous. Yet, the others had been…how should I say it…professional! Rescuing kidnapped princesses, vanquishing terrifying monsters, quests to restore mythical artifacts, save nations from insidious plots. Oddly enough, “Does this dress make me look fat?”, is not the answer I’m looking for.

Ribbon in my hair is the first time I wrote about my knights, I first dreamt about them when I as 18, my boyfriend at the time called my idea stupid and my world building pointless so I only started writing about them when I was 21. Now I write about them a little bit every year :)

8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

“Do you really want your last words to be complaints?”

“I die as I lived.”

“Will we become a fruit tree?”

“I don’t think so, it’s never been the case for my ancestors.”

“I’d love it if we could turn into a banana tree.”

“I’m not from the southern regions, plus I like apples more.”

“Just imagine, our fruits could have been banana flambée”

This death scene was a big finale to a story I wrote for a class in Uni, a story of war between clan of forest and volcano people, of the supposedly brutal death of a Goddess, of a mysterious apple tree whose fruit give vision of the past. I should revisit it.

9.  Which fic as been the hardest to write?

My analysis on D’Artagnan and the figure of the hero. Granted it’s an essay for school but I deeply loved it. I was too afraid to write or ask for help from the professor in charge of me (which made our relationship tense ^^’) but when I did, it was beautiful and I was very proud got 89% :D

10.  Which fic has been the easiest to write?

A play called Adelaide where an old couple reads their old fairytale book about a Prince on a quest to save a Princess. They bicker about the other misreading the story but we finally get to the part where the Prince tosses the princess apart to get a better view of the dragon of which he falls instantly in love. The book is actually their wedding album.

11.  Is writing your passion or just a fun hobby?

It’s one of my passions, but it’s not something I think I could live on so I delegated it to my hobby.

12.  Is there an episode above all others that inspires you just a little bit more?

The wedding scene in Shrek 2, my mind was blown when I saw it in theaters and when I need inspiration to write, I rewatch it.

13.  What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across?

Presentation is important. If trying to read you gives people headaches, they’ll stop. Choose a nice big font, space with paragraphs, be mindful of your spelling and missing words. Read out loud because some things written are bad said.

14.  What’s the worst writing advice you’ve ever come across?

I must’ve been lucky in this regard, I don’t think I’ve ever received advice that made me go NO, but I did have to listen/read stuff that made me gag.

15.  If you could choose one of your fics to be filmed, which would you choose?

I would love to the Adelaide acted out, some adjustments would be required because I’m no expert in play writing but I think I’d be great.

16.  If you only could write one pairing for the rest of your life, which pairing would it be?

Luyenor’a and Taram, names are placeholders as of now but they’re two of my knight, being the “only pairing I’m allow to write about forever” means I’d get more knight shenanigans done.

17.  Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

I’m doing bullets point of what I want to happen and write stuff without much order. Some days I have no inspirations for what goes in the beginning but have loads for a later point. I surf the wave when it presents itself.

18.  Do you use any tools, like worksheets or outlines?

Word on my computer, a notebook in my bag, the note app in my phone.

19. Stephen King once said that his muse is a man who lives in the basement. Do you have a muse?

I have little trinkets all around my computer to invite inspiration.

20. Describe your perfect writing conditions.

Freshly woken up, having eaten, drinking something sugary and sometimes apple cider because the alcohol help lower my inhibition.

21.  How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

I read out loud at least once the whole thing, helps with missing words but dude I reread my stuff on ao3 and always find mistakes still ^^’

22. Choose a passage from one of your earlier fics and edit it into your current writing style. (Person sending the ask is free to make suggestions).

I’m not going to put here because it’s in French and I don’t want to translate now but I wrote Vision of a world, mine when I was 16 and damn was I already depressed then?

23.  If you were to revise one of your older fics from start to finish, which would it be and why?

The Princess and the Soldier, some gay fairytale I think my first one, I’m sure I can do better bow

I also have one about a janitor and it’s a murder mystery I could redo

24. Have you ever deleted one of your published fics?

Once by accident, I was so angry I never rewrote it.

25.  What do you look for in a beta?

I don’t really use beta (beta reader right?) but I guess I’ve had like 3-4 when I was in Uni and had to read people’s wip and they read mine. They’d talk about what they liked, links they noticed, things that seemed weak or to change

26.  Do you beta yourself? If so, what kind of beta are you?

I usually just point out the stuff I like

27.  How do you feel about collaborations?

For a class in college, we had to act out a play we wrote collectively. Ten sketches written in pairs/alone. I made sure I was alone so I wouldn’t be saddled with someone else to write my sketch

28. Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

I don’t follow fic writers; I just am in a mood for a ship and read what’s available. I do like my friend @alumort ‘s fics tho ^^

29.  If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

There was a Phineas and Ferb fic focused on Perry I really loved. Their world building was something I’d never seen and they abandoned the story, so I did fanfic of a fic. Never dared to post it anywhere I mean it was their world to begin with.

30.  Do you accept prompts?

Of course, when inspiration is given I accept

31.  Do you take liberties with canon or are you very strict about your fic being canon compliant?

I don’t care about canon but I do love using it when there are little trivia to enrich the character.

32.  How do you feel about smut?

Love to read it sometimes, would love to write it. Some I’m like………….youveneverhadsexhaveyou…………………

33.  How do you feel about crack?

Love it!!!!!!!! I’m too self-conscious to write it tho. Oh maybe that could be a never before written trope I could try?

34.  What are your thoughts on non-con and dub-con?

Rape I can’t, dub-con where underlying requited feelings exist but anxiety™ don’t let the characters express them but they’re drunk so it surfaces is okay

35.  Would you ever kill off a canon character?

Hell yeah! I do when/if the death makes sense (I am still pissed at Kishi for Neji)

36.  Which is your favorite site to post fic?

Ao3 is where I post,I used devianart when I had one

37.  Talk about your current wips.

Marry Me for the Love of Cake: God I’m so sorry to the few people who followed it, I said I’d pick it up before the end of 2019 and well……I have the ending in bullet points

Yours, with Love: I hope I’ll finish it…I have most of the ending in bullet points

I guess I’m into rom com at the moment lolol

38.  Talk about a review that made your day.

I made my best friend read All this for a Roll Cake, and she laughed so much at my work, I took a picture I look at from time to time to remain humble.

39.  Do you ever get rude reviews and how do you deal with them?

Thankfully I’ve never received a rude review. My professor once told me it seemed kinda unnatural how unlucky my protagonist was vs. how lucky his love interest was (All this for a Roll Cake) but that was the whole point of the story so I just ignored her.

40.  Write an alternative ending to [insert fic title] (or just the summary of one).

Writing this I realised I lost my final version of All this for a Roll Cake T^T so I guess I’d rewrite the ending I have of the before the last version I still have.

Well this was fun ^^ got to revisit my works and remember many beloved pieces of fiction I wrote, I look forward to my next projects

[mikenewtonhateblog]

My oc’s aka too long of a gd post

The “BL” Crew (does not stand for boys love I’m just a moron who made that abbreviation before knowing what it stands for). My main crew and main series, a lot is a big WIP right now as I’m slowly redoing the first book and all the lore. Why? I love torture. Book is fantasy type but I won’t specify what.

Lacie, the protagonist. God tier idiot, bisexual bipolar depressed MESS, insomniac, former theater kid, doesn’t know what she wants out of life but currently it is not This(plot of book). Hot headed, impulsive, crude, rude, Mommy IssuesTM, would rather be taking a nap right now, rules are made to be broken, absolutely fucking FERAL, more bags under her eyes than the airport lost and found. 5’5, 130lbs, Aries, age 18, white as shit like literally the whitest human you have ever seen, strawberry blonde hair in a 2011 Hayley Willaims haircut with long bangs, the darkest brown eyes you’ve ever seen that stare directly into your soul. Lanky, no curves, body of a 12 year old boy but works out so she can and will kick your ass and thats a threat. Not human?

Josh. Soft boy, smart, Lacie’s cousin and only friend for like the first 18 years of her life, autistic anxious mess who’s special interest is anchient egyptian history, is in honors classes, despises math, passes out when his girlfriend looks too cute, just needs a hug. Can eat a whole carton of easy mac if left alone, whole wardobe is the same outfit just different colors/hoodies, sensory issues, seriously can someone give this guy a hug. 5’9, 150lbs, Pisces, age 18, mixed (half whatever flavor of white Lacie’s family is [they don’t even know its just some scandanavian shit and irish], and half mexican on his mom’s side), medium olive skin with freckles and moles, dark chocolate brown hair that’s a bit of a 2009 Beiber cut, warm brown eyes, not beefy, a lil thicc and self concious about it but squishy boys are GOOD. Gets bit by a werewolf so now he is one his mood on it is “thats a lot to unpack but let’s just throw the whole suitcase away”.

Zander. There is not one braincell in this man, himbo KING, pansexual dumbass with undiagnosed ADHD, no impulse control, head empty and full at the same time, PTSD, his fashion sense should be an actual crime, gets in fights to feel something, basic requirements for him to be attracted to you: kick his ass. Drinks his respect women juice, sees a folding table and must immediately launch himself on it, chaotic, cannot drive a car and will not, food aggression and eats enough for 3 people but never gains weight which is ILLEGAL, him and Lacie may be a couple.....but in this house we stan slow burn, he talks in caps and every sentence either ends with a question mark or exclaimation point, likes romcoms. 6’2, 190lbs, Sagittarius, age 19, austrailian roots and has the accent but is from [REDACTED FOR STORY REASONS], white, dorito shaped with long legs, blueish black hair that’s long and messy, dark navy eyes that match his hair, bigass neck scar from [REDACTED]. Not human

Peter. Gay dad friend who is TIRED of having to be in charge of a bunch of teenagers, only one with full functioning braincells, lowkey a genius who loves engineering, mixes magical technology with human technology because he likes to play god, is he ever sober? No one knows, will kill for a bottle of single malt, his fashion sense? Tastefully expensive suits perfectly tailored. Likes building his own weapons that no one else knows how to even use, generally non-threatening but can get scary if needed. 6’4, 140lbs string bean man, Scorpio, age 179 but looks early 30s, I know I said Lacie is the whitest human but he’s even paler like a literal sheet of paper with scandanavian roots/ancestors were vikings or some shit, blonde hair styled like 2013 Brendon Urie lmfao, light crystal blue eyes. He’s a vampire and was born one.

Danielle. Tiny, sweet, queen of girls supporting girls, comments on all her friends instagram posts with 20 emojis, LOVES fashion and has a wardrobe that would make anyone jealous, oozes feminine energy, only child and parents are in love still, gets exactly 8 hours of sleep each night and wakes up looking like a disney princess. Just because she is small and cute doesn’t mean you should underestimate her she WILL fuck your shit up. Quiet when angey which is terrifying. Josh is her bf and she loves him so much but also loves teashing the shit out of him. Legally cannot cuss, polite, used her high heels as a weapon once, speaks like 5 languages because studying them is her hobby, gardens, hugs everyone. 5’0, 110, Taurus, age 18, mixed (half french-american, half Korean-american), glowy skin always, PETITE frame aka the friend everyone can pick up when they hug, long past her waist curly brown hair, bright green eyes. She’s not fully human as she has fae blood in her and this gives her the ability to talk to and control plants. Flower crowns for everyone

Becca. Theater kid who would die to sing in Wicked and has the vocal range to do so, cannot wait to graduate and go to her dream college which she got into and a scholarship, closeted lesbian bc her whole giant family is extremely catholic and she feels like not dealing with it, “no boys allowed in bedroom” rule is her favorite joke, chill, middle child of 5 siblings and just wants some peace and quiet for ONCE. Her fashion sense is “I’m dropping subtle hints I’m gay but only to other gays”, has a black belt and took self defense classes. 5’6, 145lbs, Virgo, age 18, Latina (cuban and mexican mix), darker brown skin with light freckles over her nose, athletic build, eyebrows on POINT, bright caramel eyes, short light brown hair cut in a bob, has a tiny nose stud, always wears a blue friendship bracelet her gf made her. Human

Anika. Calling her a bitch/slut is a compliment, bisexual, a bit of a mean girl but she grows out of it give her time!!! Is always Too Much, the horny friend, favorite color is red so thats almost all of her outfits, loves to show off her body as much as she can because she’s hot and knows it and thrives in her own confidence. Her mom is literally like Regina George’s mom from Mean Girls but married a rich man 20 years older than her, Anika doesn’t know her bio dad but thats fine neither does her mom and her step dad is nice and does his best to be a dad. Becca’s gf, always hanging out at her home so Becca can get some quiet because Anika’s an only child and has a pool. 5’9, 135lbs, Gemini, age 18, white, long layered dark reddish brown hair, teal-blue eyes, swimmers body type (I normally do not mention bust size but she would want the internet to know she was blessed with big bahoogles so there you go), can sprint in heels. Half mermaid (boy was that a surprise considering her mom doesn’t know who her father is LOL)

Rex. Nb uses they/them he/him pronouns but honestly will respond to any, goth lite, only attracted to men and ace, can read minds so knows all your secrets, mischevious little shit, great friends with Zander and enjoys his dumbass thoughts and that he’s basically a human version of Jackass, wears too many rings, goth boots for kicking and fashion babey, always has the freshest memes and will not hesitate to roast in the group chat, hangs with the girls most of the time. Chaos god who loves making art, be gay do crime, skateboard and spraypaint. 5’8”, 165lbs, Leo, age 18, Native American, masculine frame, dark brown skin, blue eyes, firetruck red shoulder length hair that’s usually in a ponytail, knock-off gucci sunglasses just for judging their friends. Has magic in their blood so not entirely human and can cast spells and shit (don’t roast me its a wip and I’m doing my research)

Sam. Boho goddess, aromantic, makeup and nails are always instagram worthy, quiet and stoic type but losens up around close friends, Rex is her best friend, has some trauma and doesn’t want to talk about it, emotionally numbed out a bit and wants to purely vibe. Has seen some of the worst parts of humanity and wishes she hadn’t, finds no point in being bitter or resentful though because that won’t change anything, loves cats and once she moves out shes adopting one or three. Has wine aunt energy. 5’4, 200lbs PLUS SIZE QUEEN, Scorpio, age 18, Filipino (her parents are immigrants fun fact!), really olive skin sometimes has a grey/green tinge to it, dark brown almost black shoulder length hair, gold-hazel eyes. Sam’s the victim of a family curse that requires her to consume human hearts to survive, she can transform into a pretty scary looking being and uses this curse to hunt down pedoph*les, r*pists, murderers, and abusers. The less often she feeds the less human she looks, hence the constant grey/green tinge to her skin. 

Andy. Baby of the group, must be protected at all costs, 100% didn’t sign up to be in a friendgroup of 90% monsters but highkey loves it, trans, bi, anxiety MAXED, just wants to draw comics and cosplay spiderman, has to babysit his two younger sisters a lot because his parents are....not great, and as a result now knows all the lines to Tangled and The Little Mermaid. Big nerd energy, has to draw on everything including homework, gets inspiration for comics from his friends, awkward and socially anxious, drinks way too much tea and will accidentally steal your pens. Fears include: crowds, thunder, tall angry men, tiny spaces. Just trying his best. 5’2, 100lbs BEANPOLE BOY, Leo, age 16, white (irish and scottish roots), freckles absolutely EVERYWHERE, orangey red hair thats in desperate need of a haircut, chocolate brown eyes, braces, chronic nail biter. Human and kinda wishes he wasn’t.

That’s it for now if you read all this bless u thank u here is my whole heart. Please no discourse, literally these are fictional people I’ll never publish the books they go to.

[prettiestvulcan]

confessions

read on ao3

pairing: tadashi yamaguchi x OFC

word count: 5256

warning(s): alcohol use, drug use (marijuana)

status: complete

summary: they get paired for a project. she never imagined he would feel the same way.

a/n: just a cliché “5+1″ i had stuck in my head forever and finally finished.

                                                          ➀

She’s never noticed him before and, as they discuss plans for the group project, it’s obvious why.  He’s soft-spoken, a very nervous individual, who keeps his eyes somewhere on the floor rather than looking directly at her.  It’s obvious by the way he acts that their circles never touch.  He stays out of the way, out of sight, to the point she wonders if sometimes the professors forget about him.  They’re just so different.

In spite of their differences, she can’t help but find him cute.  With his timid smile and freckled face, something about it draws her to him.  Her, boisterous and outgoing; him, quiet and withdrawn.  They would make an odd pair, but it’s not going to stop her from trying.  When has anything ever stopped her from going after what she wants?

She exchanges numbers with him under the guise of better communication for the project, but mostly so she can text him late at night or early in the morning to ask what he’s doing.  He always responds, even though he’s under no obligation to do so.  She thinks it’s a good sign.  So when they finally meet to work on the project, a full two weeks after it was assigned, she decides to go for it.

They’ve been working for a few hours, the library practically empty and the sun long since gone down.  The ice from her iced coffee has melted, the condensation from the cup leaving a puddle on the laminate tabletop.  She wipes at it with her hoodie sleeve, having forgotten napkins.  He notices and passes her a few of his napkins.  She gives him a wide smile before using them to sop up the moisture.

Deciding her coffee is a lost cause, she shoves the napkins into the plastic cup before taking it all to the nearby trash can.  When she comes back, she sprawls her upper body along the table with a sigh, head resting on an outstretched arm, fingertips barely brushing the back of his laptop.  She can hear him typing, taking her scribbled notes and diagrams and making them into a PowerPoint.  She had tried to make her own slides, but they were so poorly made that he offered to redo them.

She looks up when the typing stops, finding him looking at her.  His cheeks pink when he realizes she’s looking back, eyes quickly darting back to his laptop and pretending to read over whatever is on the screen.  She knows he’s not actually reading anything because his eyes aren’t moving, staring directly at a spot on the screen.  She grins, deciding this is her chance.

“Hey,” she drawls, waiting for him to look at her again.  “Go out with me.”

She watches his eyes go wide, his face turning a deep shade of red.  It really highlights his freckles, making them stand out in contrast.  She waits for him to think about it and give her an answer, still lazing on the table.  Eventually, his blush starts to fade as his eyebrows come together, forming a cute little crease.  His cheeks remain a light pink as he opens his mouth to speak.

“It’s not nice to joke around like that.”  He scolds.  “Someone might get hurt.”  She frowns.  Does he think she’s messing around?  “Besides, we should be focusing on our presentation.  Please pay attention and share in the work.”

She flounders, mouth opening and closing a few times before she huffs.  She sits up, crossing her arms over her chest and slouching in the chair.  Share in the work?  He offered to redo those slides!  If she knew he felt she was taking advantage of him, she would’ve just asked a friend to help her spruce them up.  She looks away, glaring at a bookshelf, but mumbles an apology anyway.

She only looks back over when she hears him start typing again.  Did he really think she was only joking around?  And what he’d said had seemed almost rehearsed, like he’s used to people asking him out as a joke.  That thought doesn’t sit well with her.  She’ll just have to do more to show him that she’s being serious and not playing with his feelings.

                                                          ➁

They’re friends, she thinks.  They do homework together for the class they share, sometimes they grab lunch, but mostly they text.  It’s off and on throughout the day, but it’s every day and they discuss everything from classes to TV shows to how they’re doing that day.  They even share memes!  So when one of her friends invites her to a huge sorority/fraternity party, she doesn’t hesitate to invite him as her plus one.

Surprisingly, he agrees.  He says that classes have him stressed, so a party might help him think about anything other than his grades.  She takes it as a good sign, one that suggests they’re friends and he trusts her.  She’s hopeful that maybe he might believe her if she asks him out this time.

She’s nervous, which is out of character for her.  It makes her feel weird, almost jittery.  She drinks more than she probably should, but they don’t call it liquid courage for nothing.  After a couple shots, she’s not feeling the nerves as much.

He drinks, too.  Not as much as she does, but he agrees to shots with her.  Afterwards, he sips on a beer for most of the night.  He won’t dance with her, but that’s fine.  She doesn’t need him to dance with her to have fun with him.  He’s more than happy to be dragged from group to group as she talks to friends, not saying much but offering her a small smile when she looks towards him.

Finally, after she’s finished talking to everyone and sufficiently confident (and drunk), she tells him she has something to show him.  He obliges, letting her drag him out of the frat house and into the backyard where the garden is.  She leads him deep into the garden before plopping down on a bench.  He mimics her actions, sitting beside her.

“Thanks for coming tonight,” she tells him.

“Thank you for the invite.”  He offers her a gentle smile.  “I’m not usually one for parties.”

“I know,” she giggles.  “That’s one of the reasons I like you.”  Her vision may be a little blurry, but she doesn’t miss his blush.  “Hey.”

“Hm?”

“Go out with me.”  She grabs his hand to show him her sincerity.

“You’re drunk,” he points out.  “You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“Yes I do.”  She pouts.  She crosses her arms over her chest.  “Just because I’m drunk doesn’t mean I don’t want to go on a date with you.”

“Okay, I get it.”  He shushes her and she realizes tears have welled up.  “Don’t cry.  Just...if you’re serious, ask me again when you’re sober.”

“Fine,” she agrees, wiping at her eyes.  “Let’s stay out here, though.  I like the stars.”

“Okay,” he agrees.  She grabs his hand again and he doesn’t protest.  Little victories.

                                                            ➂

He’s been avoiding her, though why she doesn’t know.  Every time she asks him to hang out or do homework with her, he always has a convenient excuse.  She doesn’t like it.  It feels too much like he’s trying to get rid of her.  They’re supposed to be friends.  Right?

She doesn’t like feeling insecure.  It’s new for her.  It makes her feel a bit queasy.  Her nerves are on edge and she jumps every time her phone vibrates.  It’s not him, of course.  It’s been a week and he’s not texted her unless she’s texted him first, but even then his replies are short.  Brief and to the point.  It’s weird and she doesn’t like it.

She knows where his dorm is, of course.  She’s been there countless times to study and do homework with him, so finding it without him is easy.  She just has to know why he’s ignoring her.  If it’s something she did or something she didn’t do.  She’d like to fix it if she can.  Even if she has a crush on him, his friendship is more important to her.

No one in the dorm building pays her any mind, so she slips easily up to the fourth floor.  She knocks on his door, hoping he’s actually there.  She doesn’t hear anything at first, so she knocks again just in case.  A few seconds pass before she hears movement inside.  Hopefully he wasn’t sleeping.

“You’re not Tadashi,” she says when the door opens to reveal a tall blonde with black glasses.  Did she go to the wrong room?

“Is that a girl?”  A voice from inside screeches.  Soon the tall blonde is pushed out of the way to make room for a smaller, female blonde.  “Hi!  You must be—”

“Yachi!”  She hears him shout.  Yachi must be the girl.  Soon his face comes into view above Yachi’s head.

“Um...hi?”  She feels awkward now.  “Have I come at a bad time?  I can leave and—”

“No!”  He interrupts, nearly shouting.  “I mean, no, you’re fine.  You don’t have to leave.”  She can feel two extra sets of eyes on her.

“Okay.”  She hesitates.  “Can I come in?”

“Yes, of course,” he stutters.  He pushes the other two out of the way to make room for her.  His already small dorm room seems even smaller with four people inside of it.

“You must be the girl Yama talks about.”  The blonde girl says.  “I’m Yachi, by the way, and this is Tsukki.”  She gestures at the tall blonde.  “We’re just visiting.”

“Cool.”  She’s never met any of his other friends.  He’s only mentioned them a couple of times.  “Are you the Tsukki that plays for the Sendai Frogs?”

Her question seems to set off an avalanche of information, with Yachi doing most of the talking.  She seems like an excitable person, but it’s rather endearing.  She can see why Tadashi is friends with her.  They share a lot of similar traits, though it seems like Yachi has grown out of most of her shyness.  It probably helps that Tsukki is there, a comforting hand on her lower back.  She wishes she could do that for Tadashi.

She finds out a whole lot about him, too.  He’s apparently a lot more outgoing than he was in high school.  It makes sense, considering the bullying he endured in middle school.  Old wounds finally scabbed over, that sort of thing.  Volleyball and his volleyball team likely helped a lot, too.

She gets asked questions, too.  All things Tadashi already knows, but ones she’s fine with answering.  Where she’s from, what she studies, how she met Tadashi.  Then comes the inevitable.

“So, are you two dating?”  Yachi asks.  Tadashi chokes trying to get an answer out.

“Not yet.”  She answers because she’s determined to get him to go out with her.

“Not yet?”  Tsukki repeats, patting Tadashi on the back.  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“He doesn’t believe me when I say I like him.”  Tsukki looks at her knowingly.  Yachi looks sad.  “I’m still trying, though.”

“Good!”  Yachi exclaims, smiling.  She can’t help but smile back.

They talk for a while longer, about school and TV shows and random other topics.  Eventually, Tsukki announces they have to leave.  Yachi complains, but leaves after she gives the other girl her number.  She lingers after the two have left, wanting to still speak with Tadashi.

“You didn’t have to say that,” he mumbles, rubbing the back of his neck.  “About liking me.”

“Why not?”  She questions.  “Does it bother you?”

“No,” he answers.  A little too quickly.  “Not really.  It’s just hard to believe.”

“I’ve waited this long,” she begins.  “I’ll wait as long as you need to believe it.”

“Thank you.”  He offers her a small, private smile.  His cheeks are pink.  She loves that about him.  Shy, but honest.

“Well, I guess I’ll head out too.”  She stands, stretching her arms above her head.  “It’s getting late and I’ve still got an essay to finish.”

“Okay.”  He stands, too, following her to the door.  “Video call me, okay?  I know you won’t write that essay unless I’m there to keep you on track.”  It’s her turn to blush.

“You know me too well,” she laughs.  “But alright, I’ll call as soon as I get home.”

                                                            ➃

They’re drinking in his room.  A celebration for finishing finals.  She’d brought something extra for them to try.  A joint.  He said he’d never smoked before so she’d offered to bring it.  He’d agreed.

The room is a little warm as summer approaches, his tiny fan doing nothing to cool them.  She’s thankful for the shorts she decided to wear.   She takes a swig of her beer, watching him struggle to light the joint.  The alcohol seems to have made him more nervous instead of less.

“Here,” she says.  She reaches for the joint, carefully pulling it and the lighter from his hands.  “I’ll show you.”  She places the tip of the joint between her lips, freeing up her hands.  She cups one around the flame, using the other to strike the lighter.  Once it’s lit, she takes a deep drag.  She holds it for a few seconds, until she feels the back of her throat tingling, then releases.

She hands the joint back to him, his face flushed from the alcohol.  His freckles seem to stand out more when he’s red-faced.  She watches him bring the joint to his mouth, lighting it for him, before he inhaled.  He sputters and coughs, which she’d expected, and smiles.

“Takes practice,” she assures him.

“How often do you smoke?”  He asks, voice rough.

“Not often,” she answers.  She wonders if that’s what he sounds like during sex.  If his face gets red like that.  She quickly takes another drag before any of it shows on her face.  “Here, let’s try something.”

She turns so they’re facing each other, knees touching.  She doesn’t miss how his face goes a shade redder.  She takes the joint from him, ashing it, before giving him her full attention.

“We’re gonna shotgun it,” she explains.  “I’m going to take a drag, then lean in towards you.  Open your mouth and I’ll blow the smoke into it.”  She takes another sip of her beer.  “It’s a lot easier than trying to smoke it.”

“Okay,” he agrees.  She gives him what she hopes is a reassuring smile, but it’s probably lopsided now she’s high and drunk.

He follows her instructions.  When she leans in, mouth full of smoke, he parts his lips for her to blow smoke into his mouth.  He inhaled it, coughing only a little, and she pulls back.

“See?”  She grins.  “A lot easier, wasn’t it?”  He nods.  “Want to do it that way for now?”  She asks as she takes another hit.

“Yeah,” he agrees.  He’s looking a little glassy-eyed and she wishes it was because of her and not the high.

She continues to blow smoke into his mouth, but pushes her luck with each hit.  She gets closer and closer each time, until their lips are nearly touching.  She feels the high more than the buzz from the alcohol, but teasing herself like this is more of a high than the joint.  She’s always wanted to kiss him and this is probably as close as she’s going to get.

“How are you feeling?”  She asks when half of the joint is smoked.  He just nods.  “That good, huh?”  She laughs.  “Let’s save this for later, then.”  She puts it out on the ashtray she brought for this occasion, setting it aside.

“Is it always like this?”  He asks, staring at her intently for someone who is both high and drunk.

“Smoking a joint?”  He nods.  “Depends.  You get more of a high directly from the source, in my opinion.  Some people also just have a low tolerance for it.”  Her tolerance is probably moderate, considering she smokes once a month.  Usually at a party.

He’s quiet after that, staring down at his hands where they rest on his thighs.  She tries not to laugh, all too familiar with that intense first high.  She wants him to enjoy this.  They’ve earned it, after all.  It’s been a long, difficult semester.  Not to mention she’s not going to see him for a while after this.  Not until next semester.

The thought is a real bummer and she frowns, but quickly tries to cover it up.  She doesn’t want him to catch on and feel bad.  That would be the worst thing considering he’s calmly enjoying his very first high.  She wants to keep it that way.

She finishes off her beer, reaching into the cool for another.  Most of the ice is melted, making the bottle slippery, but she uses her shirt to wipe it down.  She pops the top off, tossing it into the garbage, and takes several long swigs.  If her mouth is busy, she won’t be able to say anything or make a face to betray her emotions.

“Hand me one,” he says even as he reaches over her to grab one.  He sways slightly and she can smell the mix of his deodorant, the beer, and the marijuana.  She tries not to let it affect her, but she really wants to kiss him.

She manages to reign in the urge by taking another deep swig of beer.  He settles back down beside her, although it feels like he’s much closer.  Their arms brush with every subtle movement and she blushes, turning her face away and pretending to be staring at something on his door.  Anything to distract her.

“What do you do with the other half?”  He asks and she has to look at him.  He’s pointing at the joint resting on the ashtray.  “Do you just...throw it away?”

“No,” she shakes her head with a fond smile.  “You can still smoke it.  Just thought you might like to wait a little between hits.”

“Oh.”  He drags his warm brown eyes up to her.  “How long do you usually wait?”

She can’t help but laugh.  He seems so earnest in his curiosity, yet eager for more of that high.  She reaches for the joint and the lighter, knowing what he wants.  She hands it to him, but he shakes his head with a frown.

“The other way,” he explains before she can ask.  “It was easier.”  She feels her face grow hot, but if he asks she’ll just play it off as a combination of the beer and the sweltering heat of his room.

She puts the joint to her lips, lighting up.  She takes a deep drag, holding it in her mouth, so she can lean into Tadashi.  He meets her halfway, lips parting, and she blows the smoke between them.  She hears him suck on deeply, holding his breath, and she lingers longer than necessary.  When he releases his breath, she finally pulls back.

“Good?”  She queries as she takes her own drag.

“Yeah.”  He looks a little flush.  She tries not to stare as he rolls his shirt sleeves up to his shoulders, muscles flexing.  He’s surprisingly built.  She knows he works out occasionally, but in these moments she can really see it.

She takes another hit to keep from saying something, leaning towards him.  He misjudges the distance and suddenly their lips are touching.  He pulls back quickly, ready to apologize, but she puts her lips over his.  She breathes the smoke into his mouth, savoring the moment before pulling back.

He’s looking at her with wide eyes, mouth still open.  She wants to feel bad.  That could’ve been his first kiss she just stole.  She doesn’t feel bad about it.  It was too thrilling and she’s too drunk to feel guilty.  She should still apologize.

“Too much?”  She asks.  He shakes his head.

“Why did you do that?”

“Because I like you.”  She takes another drag.  “I’ve told you before.”

“You have,” he agrees.  He shakes his head slowly.  Maybe it’s finally getting through to him.

She decides to test the waters.  She takes a drag, holding the smoke, and leans in.  He doesn’t flinch.  He gets as close as he can and she presses their mouths together, releasing the smoke into his mouth.  He tastes like chapstick and cheap beer.  She loves it.  She wants to stay here forever.

But she can’t.

She pulls back, letting him breathe and orient himself.  She goes back to her beer, chugging the rest of it.  Her mouth is getting dry.  She should probably switch to water.  She’s going to have trouble walking home.  Maybe he’ll offer to let her stay and they can curl up in his tiny twin-sized bed.

Finally, they use up the last of the joint.  She puts the remaining paper in the ashtray.  She’ll have to find somewhere to dump it.  Maybe the dumpster outside.  It’s not like anyone is going to tell on her for smelling like pot.  All her roommates smoke, too.  She really only needs to worry about being caught by someone in Tadashi’s dorm building.

“I should head out,” she says.  “It’s getting late.”

“Okay,” he agrees.  A part of her wishes he’d ask her to stay.  Another part of her wonders how hopeless this crush is.  “I’ll walk you out.”

She thinks about kissing him at the door, but decides not to.  She doesn’t have the excuse of sharing smoke anymore.  He might push her away.  This is going to be the last she sees him for a while.  She shouldn’t risk their friendship.

Her walk home is filled with doubt.  Maybe she shouldn’t have done that.  Maybe she should have done this.  So many what if’s and no real answers.  She’s just glad he hadn’t pushed her away.                       

                                                        ➄

Her mom got remarried during the semester and moved in with her new husband, meaning she’s not going to her childhood home for the summer for the first time since she started university.  She’s going to tiny Miyagi Prefecture to her mother’s husband’s modest house settled among farms.  It’s all very quaint.  At least they have a convenience store within walking distance.

The owner barely pays her any attention, sitting behind the counter smoking a cigarette.  She can hear the cicadas chirping outside in the blistering summer heat.  Her tank top clings to her with sweat and the cool interior of the shop is a relief.  She walks to the back, to the coolers, and grabs a six pack of cheap beer.  Something to help her get through the heat.

Her attention is drawn from the snacks by the bell tinkling above the door.  Her eyes slowly move to the newcomer, wondering if she’s in their way, when they widen with recognition.

“Tadashi?”  She didn’t know he lived here.  Or is he visiting?

“Hey,” he smiles.  “I didn’t know you lived near here.”

“My mom just moved here, actually.”  She explains.  “Her, uh, new husband lives here.”

“It’s a nice surprise to see you.”  The way he says it makes her stomach flutter.  It’s only been three weeks.  “What are you buying?”

“Beer,” she answers with a shrug.  “Some salty snacks.  Something to keep the heat away.”

“It really is a scorcher.”  She can’t believe they’re discussing the weather as if they hadn’t shared a joint three weeks ago.  As if her lips hadn’t been on his.

“Right,” she agrees.  An awkward silence passes.  “Well, I should get going.  I’m supposed to be watching the house while my mom is on her honeymoon.”

“Maybe I could come over,” he quickly says.  “That is, if you want me to come over.  I don’t have to.”

“That would be great,” she interrupts his rambling.  “The house is pretty lonely, actually.  I could do with some company.  Wanna come over and help me drink these?”  She holds up the six pack.  “My treat.”

“Sure,” he agrees with an easy grin.

She pays for the beer and their snacks.  They walk side by side to her mom’s house, neither saying much.  The sun is starting to set, but the heat is still near unbearable.  She can’t wait until the sun finally goes down and it starts to cool off.  She much prefers cooler temperatures.

She unlocks the door for them, ushering him inside.  They place their shoes by the door.  She flicks on lights as they go, leading him down the hall to the kitchen.  She puts the beers in the fridge, keeping two out for them.  She wonders if he wants to watch a movie or something.

“So is this where you grew up?”  She asks, pulling the tab on a beer.  It hisses open and she takes a sip.

“Yeah,” he answers.  “My parents still live in the area, so I come stay with them on breaks.  Sometimes I bump into old classmates.”  He opens his own beer.  “The owner of that shop is actually my high school volleyball coach.”

“Small world,” she comments and he agrees with a nod.  They stand in the kitchen, sweat cooling in the AC, drinking their beers.

She doesn’t know what to say or do, which is a first for her.  Usually she’s impulsive, acting before thinking.  It’s gotten her nowhere with him, though.  And she’d rather not ruin their friendship by being rash.  Again.  Once she’d sobered up, she regretted kissing him.  Not the act itself, but the selfishness behind it.  She had vowed to never do that again.  Unless he asked, of course.

“Let’s go to the living room and watch a movie or something, if you’ve got the time.”

“Sure.”  He trails after her, sitting on the opposite end of the couch.  She feels a little weird being so far apart from him, but if it’s what he wants then she’ll deal with it.

She turns the TV on, flipping through the channels.  She finally finds an old All Might movie and lets it play in the background while she sips her beer.  The noise of it drowns out most of her thoughts, which she’s grateful for.  None of them are very helpful.

“I’m going to get the snacks,” she says after at least thirty minutes have passed.  She stands up, bringing her empty beer can with her.  She hadn’t meant to drink it so fast, but it was something to keep her mouth busy.  She didn’t want to blurt something embarrassing.

When she comes back with the snacks, she puts them on the coffee table in front of the couch.  She sits beside him under the guise of being close to the food, but really it just helps her feel more normal.  Sitting so far away from him feels formal, unfamiliar.  They usually sit pressed thigh to thigh or, if they’re across from one another, knee to knee. Having space just feels weird.

The movie plays on, the sun setting and the room growing dark.  She thinks briefly she should turn the lights on, but then he’s putting his arm on the back of the couch behind her and she’s too busy pretending it means more than it does to get up.

By the time he leaves, the beer is gone and so is the sun.  The streetlights are on, so she feels less guilty about keeping him.  At least he won’t need to walk in the dark.  It makes her feel a little better.  She walks him to the door, where they both stand awkwardly.

“Thanks for hanging out with me,” he says.

“I like hanging out with you.”  She says, the words coming easily.  “I like you, so any time spent with you is time well spent.”

“Thanks.”  His cheeks are pink.  “I should get going, though.  I’ll text you when I get home.”  She nods, watching him go.

She feels stupid as soon as the door is shut.  She shouldn’t have said anything.  He’s never going to like her as more than a friend.  She should just get over this now.  It’s a waste of time and effort.  She should just accept they’ll only ever be friends and live with it.

She’d be lying if she said she didn’t cry about it.

                                                  ⓔ ⓧ  ⓣ  ⓡ  ⓐ

She’s a masochist.  There’s no other reason to explain why she agreed to let him come back over for another movie.  She should be spending the break getting over him and she can’t do that if he’s around her.  She must be a masochist.  Or just stupid.

Much to her surprise, he brings a joint this time.  It’s oddly endearing how proud he looks when he shows her.  She wonders if it’s the real deal or if some kid off the street sold him some oregano.  She hopes for the sake of his pride that it’s the real deal.

She’s a little disappointed when he takes the first drag and doesn’t choke.  A piece of her wanted it to be like last time, so she could get an indirect kiss.  She tries not to let her disappointment show.  She chugs her beer and stares at the TV screen.

He nudges her and she looks, going cross-eyed because he’s a lot closer than she expected.  He taps at her arm and she realizes he’s trying to shotgun.  She chuckles, but obligingly parts her lips for him.  It’s kind of weird to be on the receiving end, but it’s Tadashi.  She’s willing to give it a shot.

They’re a couple beers in at this point, which is probably why he’s feeling brave.  She’s not complaining.  She rather likes it.  His breath is warm and, beneath the smoke, she can pick up the mint from his toothpaste.  She thinks she can barely taste the cherry from his chapstick.  She closes her eyes without meaning to.

He kisses her.  Well, not really a kiss so much as he seals their mouths together to blow smoke into hers.  It’s reminiscent of that night and she squeezes her eyes shut, trying to savor every second.  She wants to remember this.  The warmth of his mouth.  The taste of his lips.

When he pulls back, she’s flush and glassy-eyes for reasons unrelated to the booze or drugs.  She hopes he doesn’t think too hard on it.  He hands her the joint and she takes a drag, leaning forward to blow the smoke into his mouth.

They continue passing back and forth, mouths pressed together, until he doesn’t pull back.  It takes her a moment to realize he’s kissing her.  Like, actually kissing her.  She forgets to breathe, only to gasp into his mouth when she remembers.  She feels him smile against her mouth, laughter bubbling up from his chest, and quickly kisses back before the moment passes.

It’s everything she hoped it would be and more.  His lips are chapped, despite the chapstick, and he tastes like smoke and cherries.  His kisses are delicate, like he’s afraid she’s going to pull away.  She’s not going to.  She presses closer, as close as she can get without climbing into his lap.  She muffles his laughter with her mouth, until he’s finally quiet.

It’s everything she had hoped for and more.  His mouth is warm and wet and eager.  She doesn’t want to stop.  Her head is spinning, her heart pounding.  She’s elated.  She never thought she’d get this.  She pulls away, breathless.

“Why did you kiss me?”  She asks because she has to.

“Because I like you.”

She kisses him again and she can feel his smile.