#But I need you tp understand that I've identified as asexual for nearly eight years at this point
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Me holding on to the last threads of my asexual identity so I don't lose the one constant part of how I've identified for as long as I've known I'm queer
#like.. ok.#i don't think atp i can define myself as asexual anymore#and i know you're probably like. but Cian! You run a spicy blog! of course u aren't ace!!#But I need you tp understand that I've identified as asexual for nearly eight years at this point#was fully convinced of it. could never imagine myself in any intimate situations ever.#And a lot of it was for sure just general insecurity and being depressed throughout my teens#But even outside of that I didn't feel attraction!#I also thought i was aromantic for a while#i think some of it is my autism. and my emotions and feelings being foreign to me.#I also have adhd so I always brushed any crush I had off saying it was just a fixation#which sometimes they were#but then I got a crush on my current gf. and every identity I had tried on and swore by was questioned#we got together and i just. got horny?#like I'm someone who just in general madturbates a lot lol that's nothing new but actually being attracted to someone?#baffling to me!#and idk. i don't wanna leave behind the only concrete part of my identity#i switch my labels constantly#nonbinary. agender. genderqueer. transgender. ftm. genderfluid#lesbian. biromantic. panromantic. aromantic. grey aro. demiromantic#but asexual was my one constant. I swore by it.#and now that's... not correct.#I'm just kinda bummed i guess haha
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