#But I did not expect them to make another one

[melminli]

Ddakji Man

summery - you were always struggling to make ends meet, despite having three separate jobs and you doubted that that would ever change. it felt like you were working out of your own casket and it would probably be more sustainable to invest in one at this point.

pairing: (gong yoo/ji-cheol) the salesman x fem. reader

word count: 1,5k

contains: slight arguing, cursing but nothing too graphic tbh

"Are you sure that you don't want to come?" One of your friends asked you a little sadly since you were about to leave the group. They rarely got to see you anyway, did you have to leave so early? "You never come with us when we go out for a drink, we miss you there, you know?"

You smiled a little tiredly as you strolled casually through the streets. "I'm sorry guys, I just have to work tonight." you tried to explain. Besides, I'm fucking tired and just want to get some sleep before then. I miss my bed.

Your best friend pouted as she hugged you from the side and you welcomed it, even if it made walking a little more difficult. "It's always work this work that. Live a little for once, all this stress is not good for you. You need a break." she spoke up before a thought came into her mind that made her a little furious. "Don't tell me that you're using work as an excuse to cancel on us. We can do something else if you want to. I'll even invite you, come on!"

You took a tired breath. I don't have any energy for this. "Trust me, I'd love nothing more than to get drunk with you and I'm not being sarcastic or anything." you clarified. Besides, I wouldn't work this much if I didn't have to.

"All right." she gave in unhappy. "We'll catch you one of these days, I can feel it..."

You laughed softly. "Please do," you replied and stopped in front of the stairs that led to the subway. This was the place where you had to say goodbye to your friends and you did with a few more hugs. You enjoyed spending time with them and loved your friends with all your heart, but you were still happy to be a bit on your own now.

So you plugged in your cable headphones and played your current favorite song at the loudest volume before checking when the next train was going to arrive. Another twenty minutes? The last one must have just left. You decided to just sit down on a bench and wait while staring blankly around and quietly mumbling the lyrics to yourself.

A few minutes later, a person sat down next to you and you could see out of the corner of your eye that it was probably some kind of businessman or something. You didn't look closely out of politeness and turned your gaze somewhere else after checking the time on your phone.

"Excuse me." the unknown man tried to get your attention, but as expected, you could barely hear him over the booming music. He placed his briefcase in the space between you before leaning closer to your figure and looking towards you with a smile and finally, you seemed to notice his stare and turned in his direction. You took out one of your earbuds as you met his gaze. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

The man leaned back again. "I haven't said anything yet. I wanted to ask if I could talk to you, do you have a moment?"

You looked around a little uncomfortably as he maintained uninterrupted eye contact with you. "Ehm, well..." you stumbled slightly over your words. "I'm not religious or anything, sorry," you replied, having no patience for another discourse about Jesus and the church. This is the fourth time this week, lucky me. You thought to yourself as you were about to put your earplug back in.

The salesman held a hand in the air to stop you from doing that to keep your attention. You just looked at him uninterestedly and waited, it was going to be a while before your train arrived anyway. A smile graced his face after you were willing to listen to him again. "That's not what I wanted to talk about, I just want to offer you a chance."

Your face tightened a little in disgust and you were quite irritated by now. He seemed to be waiting for some kind of answer and didn't say anything else, so you had no choice but to interpret his words. He doesn't look like that kind of guy, but I guess it's always the ones who look the most decent. "Listen to me asshole," you said openly this time, all politeness gone as you pointed at his chest with your index finger. "I don't know you, maybe you're one of those men who try to talk in riddles to seem mysterious or something, but right now it just sounds like you're looking for someone cheap to fuck." you replied as you tapped his tie with each syllable and leaned a little closer to him as you whispered. "And I'm not cheap, so you might want to look elsewhere."

This time it was you who grinned as he looked at you in surprise and he let out a small grunt after you finished your sentence. The salesman straightened his tie while watching your figure before reaching for his briefcase and revealing its contents, "That's too bad, but also not what I was talking about," he replied as you looked at the money and colored paper in confusion. "Have you ever played Ddakji?" He asked you as he took out the red and blue paper. You just shook your head. "That's no problem at all, we can still play it if you're up for it." 

Your gaze alternated from his hand to his face. Oh, so he's crazy. You finally concluded. I guess he is too handsome to be just a normal guy, huh. You turned your head away from him, something about the whole thing just seemed perverse to you. "No thanks, I'll pass."

"You sure?" He asked again, knowing he'd convinced you as soon as he brought the money into it. These people are all the same, she'll snatch the paper right out of my hands after I start talking a language she understands. "Every time you win, you get 100,000 won from me." He began, watching the look on your face. "But if I win, you owe me 100,000 won and -"

You sighed and interrupted him. "Yes, I'm sure. I still don't want to play with you, okay?"

This time the man looked at you with a cold, icy stare. A few minutes passed like this and you just tried to ignore his gaze, but then he started talking again. "All right. 200,000 won." he finally said, but couldn't seem to get your attention back. He tried again. "Is it because you've never played the game before? We can have a practice round if that would make you feel more comfortable." he tried again and got irritated when you continued to ignore him. He looked around the area as he considered his next move. Is she waiting for me to increase the prize money further? These people usually jump up happily at the first amount since they're so desperate. He tried to collect himself again. "500,000 won." he finally said. "I've got the money right here, you just have to go for it."

When is this stupid train coming. "Look, I don't want your fucking money, understand? I'm not a gambling addict or -"

"You may not want it, but you need it," he said, annoyed. This has never happened before, is she stupid? He then spoke out your name and described your miserable living situation as if you didn't already know about it yourself. "You also have quite a lot of debt for someone who is still relatively young, are you seriously going to turn down the money I'm offering you? For what, to prove a point or something?"

You didn't know what this man's fucking problem was, he should be glad that you didn't want to take his money, and how did he even know all this? You got up from your seat next to him when the train finally arrived and turned to face him one last time. "Fuck you," you told him and then went to the doors. You even looked out of the window at him as soon as they closed before you, to show him your the middle finger.

The man in the suit watched your figure irritated until it was gone and then, took the little card out of the inside pocket of his suit, that was meant for you. He turned it over a few times in his hand before closing the open briefcase with his other one. He had already played and lost a few Ddakji games in his life, which was the point of the whole thing - to recruit players for the actual game. However, the thought of what awaited them there meant that he was still in control of the situation. He was always in control of the situation. "I didn't loose, we haven't even played." he tried to reassure himself.

And yet the whole conversation with you left him feeling like he was utterly defeated.

[ladcedes]

lowkey - ln4

lando norris x reader

request Hi could you write a lando Norris x younger mexican/irish gf reader (21) fc (rae cambra )where they keep things private because she doesnt want hate and her instagram is private too and shes always seen with lando and they went on holiday together smau pls.

note first request ever omg... thank you so much for this anon! pretty sure whoever requested actually forgot abt it atp... im sooo sorry this took me like half a year to get to I actually never check my inbox 😭😭😭

set in the summer bcs why tf not!

paddockwags 14hrs ago | 4hrs ago

paddockwags 3hrs ago | 3hrs ago

paddockwags

liked by dhsj.77 and 32.887 others

paddockwags lando norris and his girlfriend, yn ln, seen in monaco 📸

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starlandos how did they even meet bruh 😭

⤷ bownorris exactly she has like zero social media presence how are they even together

⤷ paddockwags @.bownorris lots of athletes meet their wags through mutual friends so it’s likely that

amourln4 i give them another week 🥱

f1.wagspot

liked by 41.826 others

f1.wagspot lando norris’ girlfriend, yn ln’s, instagram account revealed!

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favspiastri hold up does anyone think they meet through alex?? since they follow each other…

lncult WAITTT if u look back at some of alex’s posts u can find a glimpse of her

⤷ fourclaren so what she used her friend to get herself a famous bf? social climber 😒😐

f1.wagspot

liked by f1wagsfashion and others

f1.wagspot lando norris spotted enjoying the sun with his girlfriend in mallorca ahead of the azerbaijan gp!

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4norrism are him and charles in the same place??

⤷ princeleclerc omg lando and charles vacation meetup?!?

silverstonel4n icb he’s stayed this long with a girl who’s so hidden from the spotlight

⤷ mcl4ren she’s so different from his past gfs it’s crazy

yourusername

tagged: alexandrasaintmleux, landonorris, charles_leclerc, and 5 others

liked by riabish and 216 others

yourusername when your schedules all line up >>>>

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alexandrasaintmleux bestie holidays ❤️

liked by creator

⤷ yourusername cheers to more! 🥂

landonorris hope you liked your graduation gift ml ❤️

⤷ yourusername calling it a graduation gift really isn’t helping the allegations yk…

⤷ landonorris @.yourusername well in your defense i only paid for the plane and the guys split yacht costs so i think we’re good 🤓 you deserve it anyway 🤷‍♂️

landonorris trip finally made it out of the gc!

⤷ alex_albon stop trying to be relatable your trips always make it out of the gc. you're rich.

⤷ landonorris @.alex_albon then how come our golfing trips rarely happen :(

⤷ georgerussell63 @.landonorris have you thought about not planning them spontaneously, during race weeks, in a range halfway across the world?

⤷ yourusername @.georgerussell @.landonorris were you silent, or were you SILENCED

landonorris

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landonorris sun’s out… summer break!

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ln4tion don’t be shy lando… finish the phrase 😁

⤷ formulamclaren fr when did this guy get pr training 😂😂

fourrari is this finally the official hard launch

⤷ gr63atest does it count as a hard launch if her face still isnt visible 😭😭

⤷ fourrari @.gr63atest 😭 at least we got confirmation tho

ladcedes keeping up with the 'comments as an author's note' tradition: I really hope this one meets expectations! I think it's a bit short but I didn't rly know what to do...

slightly suggestive bonus :]

[lostintransist]

Broken Beyond Bearing

-… . - .- … / -… . .. -. —. / -… ..- - -.-. …. . .-. . -..

@beloveds-embrace I hope I did this idea a bit of justice so far. Inspired by the delcious idea from beloveds found here.

CW: references to medical procedures that were not agreed to, reader is dying, A/B/O, odd dynamics, babies first time writing A/B/O.

A/N: I am really new to A/B/O so if something feels off or if you want more of this idea LMK!

Kate told you that the CIA still used Morse code in the field sometimes. It had fallen out of fashion after World War II and the alphabet soup of government agencies liked to reuse what they could. She said it worked best for short messages and when speaking could alert enemies. She talked at you nonstop on the long drive from the hospital. You wondered if the silence would bite at her toes or if the drone of the engine would keep it at bay.

She found you in the waiting room. Back straight, head upright you stare out the window across from you. If you ignore her maybe she will leave you alone like everyone else. You had been freed from a facility when some government agency or another busted them for performing illegal experiments on betas. Everyone else had a family to return to.

You weren’t everyone.

“I have a friend at this hospital. He called me when he saw that you had yet to be released,” she uses a soft voice as if the mint green and oddly shaped couches were pews instead. Pews don’t creak like plastic when you shift your weight. “My name is Kate. My friend, Ty, is an administrator here. He mentioned you needed someone to sign for you due to your beta status and the lack of documentation on your identity.”

Silence had been your only weapon against the staff there and the staff here.

She smells of alpha, the heady scent that should reek of safety and confidence. It tastes sour in the back of your throat.

“I’ve read through the information about you from Scorpio, the changes they made to you? They don’t expect you to make it another five years.” Kate rubbed her hands down the top of her slacks. “I’m here to give you an offer.”

Glancing at her without turning your head you wait. When she meets your side eye you shift your gaze back to the distant fluffy clouds dotting the sky like sheep grazing through a meadow. The sky sheep look all the whiter for the blanket of snow smothering the earth below.

“I know of a group of men, even split between them alpha and omega, who could use someone to care for. They are gone for long stretches of time and won’t pressure you for anything, only to care for you and use you as a touchstone of normalcy,” Kate lets out a breath, the shifting air bringing more of her should be comforting scent to your nose.

Voices drift past the locked doors to your right. You had posted up on the maternity floor, the staff had yet to find you here the last few times you were able to avoid their gazes.

“Why me?” Your voice whispers out. Should have grabbed the water mug the night nurse had left on your tray before you ducked from the room.

“Well, that’s the sticking point. They don’t know you would be coming. The guys have started to fray at the edges, getting reckless on jobs. I need them to be safe. If they have someone to come home to?”

Ah, so this wasn’t about you. Couldn’t ever be about you could it? No. Always a beta, never important.

Scorpio had seen six hundred seventeen betas through their doors before you quit counting. Not one of them left through the front door.

“You can’t tell them I’m dying.”

Control had to be a resource you doled out sparingly.

“Done.”

“And I get my own bed.”

The wrinkles around her face deepen as Kate settles on an unsure look.

“I’m not sure…”

“I will spend time in their nest when invited but I get my own bed,” you look at her now, face to face.

She must see something unmovable in your expression.

Sighing, her eyes drift shut and her shoulders relax.

“I will make it happen.”

Nodding once you stand.

“Lead on Kate, let us meet my doom head-on.”

Kate chooses not to comment on your morose declaration.

Maybe that is why she filled the car with her voice? She must not appreciate your brand of deadly honesty.

Her voice drifts away as she turns off the well-maintained and snow-cleared highway for a clear spot marked only by the tire tracks that lead between the dense trees.

“I’ve told them so many damn times they need to move closer but no it’s all ‘Kate you don’t understand we need the space from everyone’ and never thinking of how hard it is for people to visit them,” she mutters to herself as the color leeches from her knuckles with each slip of the tires.

“Maybe they don’t want visitors.”

Kate’s brows pull down as she glares out the windshield.

Looking back out the window you catch sight of a massive moose between the trunks before it disappears into the trees. It takes another twenty minutes of achingly slow driving before Kate finally relaxes her shoulders.

The smell of satisfaction drifts through the car heater. Turning you find a modestly large cabin, a green metal slanted roof, and a porch that reaches from one corner of the house to the other. Next to the stairs that connected the porch to the ground are two vehicles, one SUV and one large truck, though these both sit neatly under the porch. Kate parks in the open.

Without hesitation she climbs from the driver’s seat, grabbing the backpack she picked up for you with your three changes of clothes and two sets for sleeping. Kate is halfway up the stairs when you finally join her. Snow clings to the canvas of your shoes even as you follow in the large boot prints she left behind for you.

Tucking your arms close to your chest you stand behind Kate as she pounds with a fist on the door. The swish of her coat is the loudest sound beyond her beating for entry. You are fighting to keep your teeth from chattering when the door finally opens. You didn’t know cold had a smell. The only word you could find for it? Sharp.

“John. Took you long enough,” Kate pushes her way through the opening in the door.

A burly man steps back to allow her entrance. He is barely decent, his robe hanging open and tie only just covering his bits. John lifts a brow at you when you don’t immediately follow. You are not dressed for winter. When a particularly chilled bit of wind rushes past you and into the house, he moves to shut the door. Darting inside you watch him warily until you stand near Kate again. She stands in front of a massive couch. Counting the cushions, you give yourself the space to breathe. Twelve separate sitting spaces, three walls of a square, and still with room to walk behind and peer out the window that took up nearly the whole wall behind it.

“Not like you to show up without calling Kate. What is this about?” John steps around the snow you shed on his hardwood floor.

“I brought you a wife.”

They stare at each other for nearly thirty seconds. Your toes start to sting from the cold. The shoes on your feet squeak as you shift from foot to foot. Making the mistake of breathing too deeply you can taste the battle of wills between them. Kate’s shouldn’t be sour scent warred with John’s masculine, woodsy scent. He was an omega?

A long table is positioned opposite the kitchen, and central to it all is a wood-burning stove. The kitchen has an excess of cabinets. You start to count them to avoid what your nose is telling you.

“Why would I need a wife?” He finally asks.

You are also curious about the word choice. Betas weren’t terribly important in the grand scheme, born at a lower rate and died at a faster one. Populations didn’t need betas to survive, they, you, were mostly only good for keeping fights from escalating. With everyone receiving training in school anymore on how to address and deal with signs of rut/heat to avoid fights, death due to rut-related combat had reduced by over half. Betas were less important than ever. The other reduction in deaths had come from Scorpio.

Sarah had always been so proud to tell you about how you were contributing to keeping alphas from killing each other when she drew your blood or injected you with yet another unknown serum. The government had started to pump the barest amount of what Sarah called, calmers, into the water system. Said it was good for everyone, like fluoride.

“Serin, helicopter, Los Alamos, hospital visit. Would you like me to go on?” Kate said all those words as if they made any sort of sense.

John sucked in a deep breath through his nose. His eyes snapped to you.

“What are you?”

Kate steps in front of you. The slap of your hand to your scent gland runs parallel to her words. Sarah had done something to you, changed everything at a base level, including your scent.

“Beta, and a wife. Someone to care for, someone who needs you.”

His eyes are on you as sounds from deeper in the house reach your ears. Deep voices, a loud thump, then laughter. You look past John and see a set of stairs near the front door that leads to a second floor that only takes up part of the space from the vaulted ceiling.

“We don’t need anyone Kate-” he folds his arms across his hairy chest as Kate cuts him off.

“Should I ask them then? Call them down and see what they say?” She glares up at him, the height difference not making a difference even when her alpha to his omega should. You had only ever seen one dynamic, alpha ruling, all else managing to stay out of their way. That did not hold true here. They battled as equals.

John let his lung full of air go, a sigh of admission as his hands fell to his hips.

“No. We will take her.”

Kate nods once, settling your backpack on the couch before turning and giving your shoulder a squeeze.

When she turns back to John she gives him the final piece of information.

“She gets a room to herself. Doesn’t need to be much, but at least a place to retreat when everything becomes too much.”

He rolls his eyes but nods.

“Anything else Kate?” He asks drolly.

The glare she sends him is met with a smirk.

“I will check back in a week to see how everyone is settling.”

John walks her to the front door, opening it for Kate to step back into the startling brilliance of the sun twinkling off snow.

When the door clicks shut behind her John turns to you. His eyes drift from your feet upward until settling on your face.

“Hello, wife.”

[pholla-jm]

Meet My Wife

IMAGINE: MEET MY WIFE~ LUFFY X F!READER GENRE: FLUFF warnings: f!reader implied. not proof read. slight cursing ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Luffy seemed more excited than usual. I mean, he’s always bouncing off the wall. But it was like he was expecting something and he couldn’t wait for it. 

“What do you think he’s excited about?” Chopper asks Nami.” She just sighs and waves her hand around, “knowing him. He’s probably excited about food.” 

Little did they know, they were about to be in a world of shock. 

Luffy did not waste a single second jumping off the boat as soon as it docked. He continued to run straight into town, like he knew exactly where he was going. 

The rest of the crew just watched him, some in confusion and some of them looked exhausted. Sanji sighs, taking a deep breath of his cigarette. “He’s most likely going to cause trouble.” Nami sighs, already feeling a headache form because of her idiot captain. 

However, it wasn’t food or a new adventure that got him this excited. No, it was someone who was very important to him. He remembered the instructions very clearly. He couldn’t forget it. Just follow the path, there are going to be white flowers along the path. It should lead all the way down to a small house with flowers and different plants all around the place. 

His eyes grew wide seeing the variety of plants and flowers, knowing that you had planted these yourself. The door opens and a large smile covers his face. 

“(y/n)!” He shouts, grabbing your attention. He ran at you, full force and it looked like he wasn’t going to stop. You drop the empty basket you were carrying, fully prepared for him to throw himself onto you. 

And you were right. His body crashes into you. His arms and legs wrapping around you, and he nuzzles his face into your cheek. The first thing he notices is how soft your skin feels against him. The second thing he notices is how sweet you smell. You smelled like fresh laundry, but with a hint of something sweet, like you were just baking. 

“Luffy.” You softly say with a smile on your face. “I didn’t know you were going to be here so soon… I missed you.” You whisper the last part. “I missed you too.” Lufffy pulls back, letting you go a bit. “Are you making something?” He asks. 

You nod your head, “yes. It’s actually almost done. Would you like to try some?” He immediately nods his head yes and you laugh. “I don’t know why I asked. Of course you would. Come inside.” 

He completely lets you go now, and you pick up the empty basket heading back inside. 

The sweet scent is stronger and Luffy basically salivates at the smell. You grab a cloth, pulling out the fresh strawberries and cream croissants. There were only a few, since you weren’t expecting company. 

“Careful, they’re hot.” You say but he doesn’t care. He’s already stuffing his mouth with a croissant. 

His eyes widen and there’s a smile on his face. “They're so good!” He says while grabbing another one. You laugh, “wait. Save one for me.” You grab the last one, taking a bite of it. You were glad how good they came out. 

Once he scarfs down the second croissant, he looks at you and clears his throat. “You should meet my crew!” He says like it was another Tuesday.  

Your eyes widen. “Really?” You ask and he nods his head. “Of course!” You suddenly got nervous and wondered what his crew was like. They had to be nice, right? Luffy only accepted the best of the best. So what would they think of you?

“Like right now?” 

Luffy stands up, “yeah!” He grabs onto your arm and drags you out of the small house. 

“W-wait! Wait! Let me at least clean myself up.” You try to tell him but it falls upon deaf ears. 

You were now leaving your property, and Luffy must've thought you were moving too slow because he suddenly picks you up bridal style. His arms securely wrapped underneath your legs and the other one supporting your back. 

You let out a small gasp, surprised at the action. It had you a bit flustered as he ran back to what you could assume was his ship. 

He was running for about five minutes until the both of you arrived at the port. Multiple ships lined up on the dock, but there was one that stood out to you. A ship with a sheep head. It was… cute. 

You could see people walking on the ship, minding their own business. Until they spot their captain holding some girl. 

The redhead girl gasps, gaining the attention of the other crewmates. 

“Holy shit, Luffy! Did you kidnap someone?!” Nami shouts, a bit horrified. 

Luffy just laughs as he jumps onto the ship, causing you to let out a short yelp at the unexpected height change. 

“No,” Luffy laughs while placing you down, “I want you to meet my wife.” He announces causing everyone on the ship to gasp. Your eyes widened and your cheeks warmed up at his announcement. There was no way he still thinks that the wedding was real…

“What?!” A blonde male shrieks, “you’re telling me that this idiot right here is actually married.” “Yup!” Luffy says with a proud smile on his face and his fists on his hips. “No, I don’t believe it.” Another male says while shaking his head. 

“Well believe it. We kissed and everything. It was official.” He says, causing you to cover your face in embarrassment. You had no idea that Luffy was going to introduce you like this. 

The blonde male cries out, shouting how unfair the universe was. 

“(y/n).” Luffy says while grabbing onto your wrist. He pulls you forward, “I want you to meet my crew!” 

He points at the blonde, “that’s Sanji, our cook.” He then points at the woman, “Nami, our navigator.” He then points at the curly headed man, “Usopp, aaaaand,” he points at the sleeping man with green hair, “Zoro.” 

“Everyone, this is (y/n). My wife!” He pulls you again. This time you were pressed up against him. You honestly felt like you were on fire. 

You wondered how strange this must've looked for them. And you honestly wanted to clear things up.

“B-but Luffy.” You whisper, gaining his attention. “We got married as kids. Kids, Lu.” You emphasize the words kid, hoping that he would get the hint. 

“Oh, yeah.” He says like he almost forgot something important, “I have these.” He pulls out two rings. The same poorly made rings that were made as kids. 

You grab one of the rings, feeling the familiar flutter in your heart. Luffy smiles, “I think they’re too small now. But that’s okay. We can make new ones.” 

A blush dusts your cheeks. It was really sweet that he still considers you his wife. “Yeah… that actually sounds really nice.” 

“Shishishi, I knew you would like that.”

Well... maybe things didn't have to be cleared up right away. Let the crew think the strange things.

[grimaldiapologist]

Writing on a blog dedicated, at least in spirit, to our dissociative identity disorder, this is something that fascinates me. For context - living with the poster child disorder of "that's not even real" and "you're just faking it to get out of jail" and "you're just histrionic with bpd I know this because I took a psych class once in uni", that some fucking airheads still make their paycheck "criticising" in the psychology field (and teaching), the fear of being declared a faker, an attention seeker, a liar, a self-centered and stage-obsessed criminal-until-proven-otherwise came as a free package with the diagnosis. Just the suspicion of the diagnosis was enough for all of those labels. From whom? Everyone.

The first time I dared to open my mouth to my psychiatric nurse, she was putting me against the wall for lying and omitting, because in her view, I was doing too well with no explanation. In reality, at that point, I'd spent some months after becoming aware of the system getting to know them and reading up on how to get the basics of communication together, and working through the first chapters of Coping With Trauma-Related Dissociation, which helped us understand what we needed to do with one another in order to stabilise and feel safer in our everyday life. Things were actually going wonderfully, I wasn't lying, but I was omitting, yes. I was omitting, because even though at that point I knew nothing about DID beyond what I was learning from resources and my friend/now partner, who'd been in the community for a long time and gave us crucial peer support in terms of figuring our situation out, I knew extremely well the stigma associated with "split personality", and our first and primary instinct has always been to hide and cover the existence of the system.

But she was forcing it, so I told her. I was asking for help, yes, but with the context of doing so well - we were winning, and we wanted to keep winning.

She promptly told us we weren't allowed to leave, and started to set us up for involuntary inpatient stay. Exactly what we'd been afraid of the most: that "the psychiatric system" would imprison us and kill us, kill the parts of us who were vulnerable, with cocktails of medication in padded rooms and straitjackets and whatnot that we'd seen in the movies. (And, to a degree, during our actual inpatient stay years before.)

The resident psychiatrist did a quick evaluation of us and released us after, clearly annoyed at the nurse for overreacting and putting us in the extremely triggered and traumatised state that we were in, but it did permanent damage.

Very soon after, we discovered the online "discourse" on the validity of DID, and the "fake claiming" communities. This is all we inherited, first thing, with our diagnosis - which we did get after the above clusterfuck, within a year, with the aid of a specialising therapist and years of notes from our history, or so I assume. I can't remember, it's been years, and I have DID. The point is, even the DID community itself demands that you will never show a bright side to your disorder.

You either suffer all of the time, always, you hate yourself, you hate your other selves, you want to die, and you're forever a mess and you're in eternal war against yourself, or you're faking.

We are not this way and have never been. Prior to discovering the system, we were poorly. To spare the details, at 29 when we were diagnosed, we hadn't worked a day in our lives, dropped out of school at 12, and spent about a decade locked indoors with suicidal spirals being the expected main event of every three days or so. But our main strength has been our us, the family that we have, and the care that we've shown each other all along. Even if we can't love ourselves, we can love each other, and after learning communication - learning to listen, learning to talk - we've been doing phenomenally. Our condition has changed from treatment-resistant and debilitating to actually, we no longer need SSRI medication at all, after being on it for our whole lives. And luckily, this is enough proof for us, but not the world.

No, we're now in that funny place where our partially treated trauma/dissociative disorder looks like too much fun to the world. We're fine and we love each other. We indulge in dressup, we have our own silly little blogs and journals each with their own specific equipment like fancy ink pens and wares of stickers and decor, we have galleries of fake Instagram pictures of ourselves, we use PluralKit on Discord and talk to ourselves like we own the chat - among friends, anyway, or just between ourselves in our private one. All of this means we're fake, fake, fake, fake. God forbid a man has fun. God forbid a woman takes an afternoon to herself to give herself a makeover and go on a date. God forbid a guy just wants to feel comfortable and laugh and express himself, or have a chat with his closest friends.

We're not in enough pain all of the time to be "true" DID anymore. If we were "true" DID then we'd still be in the untreated, pre-diagnosed state. This is a stagnant disorder of identities that may never experience growth or true humanity. All I am allowed to be is a filthy, incapable hikikomori afraid of the world, because anything else is fucking weird to people.

I'm sorry, but. None of your fucking business. I've spent 33 years of my life split squarely on a tightrope over the chasms of "I don't want to die" and "I want to kill myself now". I'm 33 fucking years old and I've earned my goddamn license to feel good, actually. I'm allowed to be fucking weird because I'm developmentally disabled. I will never not be the way that I am, and I also have no intentions to ever be anything but the way that I am, I'm just aiming to be better at it.

This now means that I'm not actually allowed to talk about my disorder... basically anywhere but here and in therapy. No matter where I go, people treat me like a criminal. People who don't have DID tell me I'm faking for clout and larping (LARPing is great by the way and you should absolutely try it out instead of using it as a weird slur online) and they're the champions of true sufferers who are there to nobly remind me that REAL people with DID are actually so in pain all of the time and dying unrecognised while freaks like me... post on Tumblr for attention or whatever I don't fucking know I'm still disabled and in chronic pain and I can't do shit with myself regardless of our overall improvement - and people with DID tell me what I have isn't real DID and I'm "anti-recovery" or whatever because I don't subscribe to their specific dogma of recovery (which, for the record, every single microcosm of the recovery community has their own version of, and they all hate each other for it). The latest edition of how this fucked us over was our choice to write frankly about the positive sides of how the often negatively portrayed coping mechanisms of DID can be turned to work for recovery, and how things like substitute beliefs (believing things that are factually untrue such as 'I am an actual dragon trapped in a human suit' when you're not) can be used not to distance one from reality to escape but help one adapt into it (because I am a dragon in a human suit, a dentist cannot scare me), and had the whole conversation just without warning or any sort of notice deleted from the community. Mods never replied to my request on clarity on what the fuck they were doing and why, and I haven't been back in the community since, either.

And it's hilarious. The whole fucking thing is hilarious. You're faking it if you've recovered too much, because a true sufferer of a severe mental health condition would never recover, but if you don't recover enough, you're anti-recovery, and therefore also faking. There's a slim venue of acceptable suffering in an eternal still-shot in the middle, but you're not actually allowed to exist beyond it or past it in any capacity.

The only true DID case is a non-person who is incapable of growth and change, for a disorder that is all about identity, which by definition is all about growth and change.

I'm so tired of it. Sorry, freaks, I'm gonna freak the way that I freak from now on. I'm too well-adjusted these days to be your perfectly martyred poster patient.

ive found that partially treated mental illness can sometimes look to uninvolved onlookers like faked mental illness.

[pshbites]

SUPER RICH KIDS ━ psh

pairing : richboy!sunghoon x fem!reader genre : sort of strangers to lovers, mix of angst and fluff but mostly fluff, sort of in an unspoken but aware relationship at the end warnings : mentions of fake friends, drug usage, and backstabbing, not proofread, excessive use of commas lol.. i think that’s it synopsis : the last person you expected to have a connection with was park sunghoon but you were proven wrong wc : 1.1k a/n : first fic of the new year LESSGOO. yes this is heavy inspo off of super rich kids by frank ocean AND this is dedicated to my lizzie bear larb u

if u enjoyed pls like & reblog, feedback is also always appreciated!!

“eating alone are you?” sunghoon spoke, making you look up from your lunchbox. he entered the dark corridor where you sat and looked down at you. “if you’re here to make fun of me then go away” you sighed out, taking a bite of the rice ball you made this morning. “i could, but that’s no fun is it?” he said, sitting down on the other side of the narrow hallway, stretching his legs out so they were right next to you. he crossed his arms and looked down in his lap. 

“surprised you’re sitting down, i figured a rich kid like you wouldn’t want to get his fancy clothes dirty” you scoffed making sunghoon roll his eyes at you. “oh shut it, i couldn’t care less about clothes right now, don’t you have any friends to eat lunch with?” you let out a small laugh, shaking your head. “i could ask you the very same thing” you mumbled back, taking another bite of your rice ball. 

in your four years of attending this academy never has park sunghoon ever willingly talked to you. he acknowledged your existence which was better than what he did to most, but that never meant you were off limits to the constant teasing and remarks from his friend group. that was the norm for you, a non wealthy kid, to be going to a school surrounded by rich kids. always on the outside looking in. 

“isn’t it pathetic, i mean to not have any friends” sunghoon looked at you, tilting his head. you couldn’t tell if he meant that in a sincere way or a taunting way, either way your answer would’ve been the same. “i’d rather not have any friends than have ones who betray me” you said, mouth suddenly feeling bitter that the thought of your ‘friend’ who backstabbed you in the worst way possible. “i agree” sunghoon mumbled, now looking down at the floor. you furrowed your brows, “weren’t you just with them earlier?” making him roll his eyes once more. 

he shook his head, sitting up a little straighter. “you wouldn’t get it” you raised your eyebrow and sat up straighter as well, setting your lunchbox down, crossing your arms and staring back at him. “try me.” he sighed out and threw his head back, “i found out everyone in my life hates me, and my best friend slept with my ex-girlfriend.” you furrowed your brows, still looking at him. he adjusted his head straighter, looking back at you. “i feel like everything is so fake now, that this idea i had of them is just gone.” you nodded, pursing your lips in thought. you hesitated before speaking up. 

“i mean, did you really think they were your real friends?” 

“what.” 

you shrugged and threw your hands up, “your name holds value sunghoon, i’m sure you know that and i’m more than sure they did too.” sunghoon clenched his jaw and rolled his eyes again, clearly annoyed about what you were insinuating. deep down though he knew you were right, it was true. “guess no amount of wealth can get me a friend” he laughed dryly making you frown slightly. just before you could speak up, the bell for lunch rang out. you silently got together your things and stood up, sunghoon did as well. just before sunghoon left, you stopped him. “same time tomorrow?” you said, making him look back at stare at you before he walked off without a word. 

…

you didn’t expect much but sunghoon was there the next day and the day after and the day after. soon enough you had been eating lunch in that same hallway for one whole month. in that time you had gotten to know sunghoon more, causing the both of you to open up and confide in one another. you learned more about sunghoons fake friends and he learned about your friend, it was weird how one common thread could bring you two so close. 

“all they do is get high off their face, i don’t think im missing out much” sunghoon said, speaking of his friend groups infamous parties making you laugh. “and drinking ancient liquor” you added making sunghoon laugh along with you. the two of you sat next to one another, sharing whatever lunch you had packed for yourself that day. you quickly realized that sunghoon hadn’t ever had home cooked lunches, it was always dinner at a fancy restaurant or some world renowned private chef making luxury meals. it was odd, despite your differences you hadn’t expected sunghoon to grow so close to you. 

it fell silent between the two of you as you silently ate your food. sunghoon finally broke the silence with an interesting statement. “im finally gonna confront them, about it all” he turned to you, you giving him a shocked expression. “really?” he nodded, taking a sip of the water bottle you brought for him. “i have evidence and proof of everything so im gonna confront them tonight and i think it’ll all end.. my friendship between them” the two of you held eye contact in silence over sunghoons words, a part of you was proud of him the other part felt sorry for him. 

he looked ahead at the wall across from you two, setting down the sandwich you made. “it’s weird how i went from having it all to nothing. like no one even cares anymore” he sighed out, making you frown softly. you hesitated before reaching for his hand and intertwining your fingers. “you have me, i care for you” you breathed out, making sunghoon look in your eyes. you both felt that. 

that weird feeling where everything clicks, where you feel.. okay after not feeling okay for months. that feeling where nothing else matters except the person sitting right beside you. that feeling when you tell this person more things that you don’t even tell your family. that feeling of pure infatuation and almost love. maybe you loved sunghoon or maybe you just strongly liked him. whatever it was it was real and you both could feel it but you could feel it even more in this moment. 

“i care for you too,” he said, still lost in your eyes. maybe that was your way of saying you liked each other but it didn’t matter because the message was across, he didn’t jerk his hand away from yours when you reached for it but instead he scooched closer to you, letting you rest your head on his shoulder as the two of you stared at the wall across from you. 

teenage love wasn’t something you desired but maybe, unknowingly, you found it when you least expected it. 

taglist : @cupidhoons @leeechin @chobunz @wensurr @ja4hyvn @kozumesphone @17ericas @suneng @hyunnies-world @kiss4noo @jellyluv4eva @heelariously @laylasbunbunny @silquids @squiishymeow @heeambi @yourmomssneakylink @rriribelle @srehyaps @bubblytaetae @t1iqaa @en-heedeungie @wintertxt @sweettaitea @beatrizmel-472 @i03jae @jakef3ver @mamuljji @coqhee @luvyou2ooo @thedemonriot @justalittle-hee @jjongsaengzz @beigerin @mariahxrrera @cherrybeomm @vveebee @mitmit01 @blockbusterhee @yeehawnana @mochamvgz @livelaughluvryanreynolds @ami-soph @sunghoonsperfume (bold cannot be tagged)

enha taglist

© all rights to pshbites 2024. please do not copy, translate or repost my works

[fanfickittycat]

****************************************************

Gimmie, Gimmie, Gimmie

****************************************************

Synopsis: When you and Sylus come across a pair of Aether core necklaces, dreams and reality start to blend together.

AKA a necklace makes you both star in each other’s wet dreams

Rating: Explicit

Fandom: Love and Deepspace

Pairing: Sylus x MC/Sylus x Reader

Read on AO3 | Part One | Part Two | Part Three

“And this one?” You pointed to the emerald cut rock resembling a protocore.

“You have a good eye!” The merchant grinned, as he began spinning lies to you about how rare it was. You knew it was a fake without even touching it, but you held off from correcting him immediately and instead pretended to listen. You could feel a strange sense of excitement bubble in you as you got ready to test the merchant, but a familiar rush of energy behind you put that excitement on pause, and you watched as the shopkeeper’s voice faltered. His face became ashen, as he looked above your head, and you could see the blurry reflection of a dark, imposing figure and red eyes bounce off the larger crystals behind him.

“I thought I told you to stop doing that” you said, not bothering to turn around as you examined the other pieces of jewellery.

“Do what?” His breath is warm against the shell of your ear and you can feel the tickle of his silver hair against you.

“To stop looming over my shoulder like that” you turn slightly only to be met with an amused smile “you’re ruining my investigation.”

“… Investigation?” The merchant choked out but you both ignored him.

“Maybe I wanted to look around too, did that ever occur to you?” Sylus said, straightening up and putting his hands in his pockets casually. He was at least a head taller than you and he never failed to remind you of that.

You scoffed and crossed your arms“as if you’d shop here. There are so many fakes on display it’s probably not even worth it to you.”

“Now, hold on-“ the shopkeeper protested but it fell on deaf ears again.

Sylus shrugged “you can still find a diamond in the rough if you look hard enough.” He stepped from behind you to your side to look at the display case in front of him.

“Although…” his eyes glanced at the artificial gems “this selection is lacking.” His eyes flick up to the merchant whose face is flushed with embarrassment and fear.

“I- I did get something in this morning. Something real.” His hand lowers slowly to the vault behind him, as if asking for permission.

Sylus sighs “well go on then. Let’s see it before Miss Hunter here brings you to justice.” He only chuckles softly when you elbow him in the side.

You both watch as the shopkeeper produces two small vermillion boxes. He opened them up, carefully unwrapping the layers of tissue paper to reveal a matching pair of necklaces, both holding a crimson stone. Your eyes widen as you feel the energy emitting from them.

“Is this…?” Your eyes transfixed “part of an Aether core?”

“My, my, I certainly wasn’t expecting that” Sylus murmured, equally dazzled by the pair of necklaces.

You couldn’t help but let your fingers reach forward to feel the smooth stone on one of the chains. It glowed in response to your touch, and the other mimicked it.

“Legend has it that a pair of lovers separated by the Great War crafted it so that they could always remain close to one another despite being physically apart. It’s rumoured that if your connection is strong enough, you can achieve a psychic connection like none other.”

You can practically hear Sylus raise an eyebrow at that.

“Wait” you frown “I know that myth, it’s from thousands of years ago. Surely this can’t be the same pair of necklaces.”

“What if it is?” Sylus asked, touching one of the stones and watching the other glow “stranger things have happened.”

It was your turn to raise an eyebrow “I didn’t take you for a fantasist.”

“Even I have capacity for romantic notions” he smiles at you fondly, making your cheeks flush. “How much for it?”

Just as the shopkeeper opens his mouth to answer you interrupt “I think it would be best for everyone if you just handed these over.” You looked squarely at the shopkeeper “I know the Hunter’s Association are looking for you - dead or alive.”

“Well played” Sylus murmured to you, looking at you with admiration whilst the merchant was left with no choice but to agree and pack the necklaces away.

Outside the market you prepared to bid Sylus a goodnight, and thanked him for taking you to the N109 Zone’s night market.

“Oh wait” you fished the Aether core necklace out from its pouch “come here.” He turns and approaches you, smiling when you roll your eyes and gesture for him to come closer.

“A kiss goodbye?” He teases and you try to subtly swallow to remoisten your dry mouth.

“You wish.” You fiddle with the clasp of one of the necklaces and loop it around his neck. The feeling of his cool skin wasn’t entirely foreign to you, but neither was it overly familiar. This was probably the closest your faces had ever been, though you had dreamt about it happening almost every week. The memories of your latest dream played in your mind, making you hastily click the necklace into place and pull away before his eyes could ascertain your desire.

“It suits you” you said, admiring the way the deep red tone sat against his pale flesh.

“Your turn.” And before you could blink he was holding the matching necklace in his hands. He swept the curtain of your hair over one of your shoulders as his fingertips ghosted the back of your neck, making you shiver.

“A ticklish Hunter? Isn’t that a liability?” He asked jokingly, only for you to huff in response. You could almost have sworn that his touch lingered but if you thought about it too much you were sure you would melt.

“There” he cupped his own pendant “now we match.” You gasped feeling the warmth of the gem against the delicate skin of your chest.

“This is purely scientific” you said, experimenting with holding your own Aether shard. The vibrations in your hand akin to a gentle purr.

“Oh, entirely” Sylus agreed “until next time Miss Hunter.”

It was well past midnight when you got home. The toll of the evening weighed on your shoulders, leading you to take a hot shower in an attempt to undo the knots in your back. Your mind wandered as you lathered up your body wash. The N109 Zone Night Market had yielded some promising leads on illegal protocore trade activity. You had some names and faces to run through the Hunters Association system when you went back to work on Monday, and you wanted to cross reference them with your notes from your last mission too.

You were so caught up in your thoughts that you jolted when you felt the Aether core pendant react. Sylus? You gently stroked the stone, feeling a comforting warmth emanate from it. Was he thinking of you? Or just touching the stone? He had looked handsome tonight. Way too handsome. Every time you saw him you felt like you were being drawn in closer and closer to him. It felt dangerous. And exciting.

You could blame the heat of the water for the slightly dizziness but the way the warm sensation flooded south was something else entirely different. Your mind flickered through the moments you shared tonight. The way you could feel his tense muscles as you gripped him on the back of his motorcycle; the moment when he tricked you into trying a so called N109 Zone street food staple only for you to take a bite and hate it instantly, the sound of his laughter and the intoxicating way he slyly smiled and attempted to quell your annoyance by buying you a sweet treat instead, the way the moonlight had illuminated him softly…

Without even realising it, your hand had begun to wander toward your hardening nipples, imagining it was his fingers pinching the pebbled peaks. You pictured him kissing the point where your shoulder met your neck and whimpered at the thought. How good would it feel if he was pressed against you? Grinding his erection into your ass whilst he bit down on your shoulder. Would he sprinkle in all those little pet names he’d developed for you?

“Can’t wait to bury myself inside you kitten. Going to fuck you nice and deep like you deserve.”

You felt your breath hitch. Your fingers traversed downwards, running up and down your slit. Your mouth fell open.

RING RING

You frowned.

RING RING RING.

You groaned in frustration, hurrying out of the shower and towards your phone. Surely even Wanderers knew that they should give it a break at this time of night?! Your skin was still warm but you’d broken out in goosebumps from the sudden temperature difference. Your robe was tied way too loosely around you too, exposing your skin to the cool temperature of your room.

“H-hello?” You answered, you hadn’t realised that you were panting until you stood there. You attempt to clear your throat and repeat your greeting. You’re met with silence. You pull the phone away only to see it’s a hidden number.

“Who is this?” you hear the smallest sound, something akin to a breath and then the call ends. What a waste of time! You throw your phone down on your bed in frustration, and close your eyes for a couple of seconds. The call had interrupted your flow and you suddenly wanted nothing more than some instant ramen and your bed.

After changing into your pyjamas and indulging in some late night cup noodles (sorry Dr Zayne!), you settled into your night time routine and sighed in relief as you nuzzled into the latest plushie you’d won at the arcade. Sleep found you almost immediately, and you found yourself slipping into a dream almost instantly.

There had been problem after problem for the past couple of days, and whilst Sylus was happy to delegate tasks down to his underlings, there had been several particularly tricky issues which required his full attention.

‘So bothersome’ he thought, raking a hand through his hair, which no doubt, was a mess from the repeated action. The words had started to blur together a little and he took his glasses off momentarily to shut his eyes. Maybe he needed a break? The fire he had started when he first reached his study crackled in the fireplace, providing a source of warmth that was much needed on such a cold night. He resolved internally to at least work through the contract sitting on the top of the pile of paperwork on his desk before he called it quits, and put on the glasses again to scan through the fine print.

Not ten minutes later he heard a knock on the door.

“Enter.” He had expected it to be the twins, but blinked in surprise when you peeked your head around the door.

“You’re still awake?” Sylus’ expression softened as he set down the pen and leaned back on his dark chair.

“It’s hard to sleep when you’re not next to me. It’s so cold tonight.” You said, running a finger along his desk as you made your way towards him.

“Look” you shrugged off the silky robe he usually donned, letting the soft material pool on the hardwood floors at your feet.

“I have goosebumps.” You offered your bare arm up for him to inspect.

Sylus’ lips twitched, as his eyes hungrily drank in your near naked form. The crimson lingerie set he had seen in Linkon City just the other week had clearly stuck in his head more than he thought. The delicate lace of the bra looked so pretty against your skin; equal parts sensual and feminine. And despite you standing with only a small gap between your legs, he could already spy the silk framing the open crotch detailing of the panties.

“You do look chilly” he remarked, running his hand up your exposed arm before placing the palms of his hands on the back of your stocking clad thighs, urging you closer to him. You obliged, naturally, arching your back when his hands kneaded the flesh of your thighs and ass.

“Are you almost done with work?” You asked, your own hand finding his cheek to caress. His skin was still smooth from having shaved that morning.

Sylus sighs “hmmm not quite yet.” He pinches the top of his nose and closes his eyes for a second, before leaning into your touch.

“You’re tired” you murmur gently.

“I need to finish this.” He reluctantly nudges his glasses up the elegant bridge of his nose.

“You need a break” you chide and slip yourself in the gap between his form and the desk.

“Sweetie-“ but you interrupt him.

“Just ten minutes, Sy. Please?” He could never resist your puppy dog eyes.

“What do you suggest I should do?”

You lean in so that your noses are touching “leave it with me.”

You press your lips against his, silencing any doubt. He relaxed against your touch, letting your tongue languidly stroke his own as you mounted the chair to straddle him. He can already feel your molten core through his jeans as you begin to rock your hips experimentally against his own. It doesn’t take long for him to reciprocate, and you take it as an opportunity to pull your mouth away from his. He groans at the loss of your lips, which you drag to the column of his pale neck. You feels his heartbeat quicken when you ghost your teeth against his neck and playfully nip him.

“Harder” he urges, and you comply, sinking your teeth a little more into his skin to leave a mark. You lick at the same point as an almost apology, gasping quietly when he ramps up his thrusting. You’re soaking the denim of his trousers but he doesn’t care. He’s so focused on how your body quivers and pushes and pulls at his touch that he almost doesn’t notice you unbuckle his belt and slip a hand into his boxers.

Both of your eyes look downwards as you squeeze his length, running your hand up and down his dick.

“Fuck…” Sylus sighs. How long had he waited for this? He watches, hypnotised, as you spit into your hand and massage it into the head, just the way he likes.

“You’ve been working so hard lately” you murmur, continuing to work your hand up and down in a tantalisingly slow manner.

“I think my fiend deserves a treat for all his hard work.” Sylus tips his head back, closing his eyes as he becomes putty in your hands. He half opens them to watch you slip off the chair and onto your knees.

“What’re you doing kitten?” He mumbles, mourning the loss of your heat against his body.

“Shhhh” you reassure him before leaning forward to lick a stripe up his shaft. He groans as you press kisses onto his dick before opening your mouth and taking him inch by inch into your throat. One of his hands clutches your hair into a rough ponytail, whilst the other hovers at your jaw as he guides you to take more and more of him. The cavern of your mouth is hot and wet, and whilst he can feel your throat constrict you seem to want to take more of him.

“S-so good for me” he mumbles, and his thumb blots a tear running down your cheek.

“Ah, ah kitten, no need to get ahead of yourself” he gently chides, which naturally spurns you on more. Sylus’ head falls back again, mouth open as he shallowly thrusts into your throat. His eyes flicker open when he hears the wet sound of your fingers touching yourself as you pull back a little to concentrate on lavishing his length with your tongue.

“Fuck… is this turning you on, sweetie?” You hum in response and Sylus groans at the feeling of the vibration “mmm such a pretty little slut for me… taking me so deep in your throat like this. Ah- I guess I wasn’t the only one dreaming of this.” His grip on your hair tightens and you can tell from his desperate pants that he’s reaching his limit. You quicken your actions, ignoring how lewd you sound slobbering and choking on his dick. Your jaw aches but he’s so close that you can’t stop. Your own pussy clenches around nothing as you soak your thighs in your own arousal.

“Fuck I’m going to-!” You brace yourself for his cum to spurt down your throat, and-

RING RING RING

You groan and open your eyes as your alarm slowly pulls you out of sleep’s clutches. You lay there for several moments, half dazed as you acclimatise back to your surroundings. Your hand eventually silences the alarm but you struggle to move beyond looking at your phone blearily. You had slept all night but still felt tired. You made a half formed mental note to ask Dr Zayne why that was and moved the heel of your hand to your face to rub the sleep out of your eye.

Yawning hurts, you figure out very quickly, and you attempt to move your jaw a few times to loosen it. It aches. And your throat felt dry too. Were you sick? You slowly sit up and hiss at the slight grazes on your knees. Surely that wasn’t a symptom of a cold was it?

It’s only when you strip off your sweat soaked pyjamas for a shower that you notice that your underwear is soaked through and your thighs are slick. You shiver and observe your body in the mirror. It looks much the same but there are tell tale signs that something happened. Your sleepy mind tries to focus as you wash yourself but you can only concentrate on putting yourself through the motions of your morning routine.

Last night still lingers in your thoughts at work, though you choose to compartmentalise it for a later time. Your mornings are filled with training and you dispel some low level Wanderers who spawn on the edge of town, which makes it easier to forget but it becomes near impossible to ignore in the afternoon as you sit at your desk, rereading the last sentence of the report you just wrote.

“Here” a mug of something warm and citrusy is placed on your desk and you look up in surprise at Xavier.

“Thanks, how did you know?” You give the liquid a small sip, relishing its soothing warmth against your sore throat.

“Your voice sounds pretty bad. Are you sure you’re not sick?” Xavier’s hand touches your forehead as his blue eyes narrow.

“I’m fine. I think I just fell asleep last night without my blanket. I found it on the floor this morning, I must have kicked it off me at some point.”

“Were you dreaming?”

Images from your dream flood your mind and you look away, afraid your blush will reveal the nature of those dreams.

“Yeah” you cough awkwardly “I think I did but it’s a bit blurry.”

“Maybe you were fighting Wanderers” Xavier speculates “or trying to beat the claw machine again.”

“Ugh don’t remind me! I was so close to getting that Sunset Tomato!”

Xavier smiles and shakes his head “you’re at the arcade so much it’s making its way into your dreams. You should really take a break.”

“Maybe… Have you ever had a dream that felt real?”

You nervously look up at Xavier, half expecting him to be alarmed but he quietly considers your question instead.

“Hmmm… what do you mean ‘felt real’?”

“Like, it felt like you were there. Physically. As though your body and your spirit and everything wasn’t in your bed anymore but in a whole new environment.” Xavier’s face remains unchanged.

“Forget it” you quickly dismiss “dumb question.”

“Not necessarily. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced a dream like that but I remember reading something a while ago online about astral projection. Maybe there’s something to it?”

Xavier’s words stick in your mind long after you leave work. Could you actually be astral projecting into Sylus’ dreams? You try to Google it but the results are either too vague or sound too unfounded for you to take seriously, and you certainly weren’t feeling confident about searching ‘Can you astral project into your sort of enemy sort of crush’s wet dream?’

That was another thing. The dream was definitely his which raised hundreds of other questions in its wake - did he like you too or was it just a coincidence that the dream starred you? Did he dream about you often? In similar positions? And what was with the lingerie? You had never seen something that toed the line between obscene and elegant before. Was that the kind of thing he liked? You glanced at the laundry you had just hung up to dry - black, plain, utilitarian underwear - maybe it was better for everyone if your affair remained in the dream sphere…

[arc-misadventures]

Care to Share a Drink?

Jaune Arc was walking back from the training halls tired from another grueling training regime. Since becoming a, Specialist, Jaune had taken several courses to broaden his expertise; both in functioning, and technical training.

It was good to widen his expertise as a, Specialist, and he may be taking in all this new information like a sponge, but a sponge can only absorb so much in before it starts to leak out.

Now, Jaune was tired. He needed to relax, and just destress himself for all the worries that weighed him down. He was having a day off tomorrow, maybe he could...

: Hey, Jaune!

Jaune: Hmm...?

Jaune turned around to see the ever smiling, Clover Ebi approaching him.

Jaune: Oh, hey, Clover. What's up?

Clover: Just wanted to ask if you wanted to go out for a drink?

Jaune: A drink?

Clover: Yeah, there's this bar I like to go to, I thought you would enjoy some male bounding. I would have invited you sooner, but we were so busy with everything. Besides, you look like you need someplace to relax for a bit.

Jaune: Oh, is anyone joining us?

Clover: Naww... I asked everyone else; Marrow, can't hold a drink for the life of him. Vine is a tea nut. Elm, likes those fruity drinks, the bar we're going to doesn't have those. Harriet said she was busy doing some paperwork with, Winter. And, Winter... Ya know.

Jaune: I know, Clover, I know.

Jaune: Sure... I wouldn't mind having a drink with you.

Clover: Alright then, let's go!

Jaune: Do they have any good bar food there? I'm starving.

~~~

Clover: So here we are, Jaune! The Squeaky Cog! Best bar in all of, Mantle!

Jaune: I thought we would be going to a bar in, Atlas, not one in, Mantle.

Clover: Nahh, there are plenty of decent bars in, Atlas. But, this place... it has a more homely feel to it, feels more lived in then the bars in, Atlas which feel sterile.

Jaune: Ahh, a by product of the whole, Colour Wars, eh?

Clover: Yeah, pretty much. Now come on, let's get a drink!

The pair walked over to the bar, and took a seat. Jaune grabbed the menu, and gave it a quick glance, finding a item he wouldn't mind eating. The barkeeper shortly came to them, and asked if they wanted anything.

Clover: I'll have a beer, and the chili fries.

Jaune: I'll have the... fish and chips, and a scotch on the rocks.

The bartender took their orders before walking away, as he left, Jaune busied himself with a bowl of pretzels.

Clover: A scotch on the rocks? I didn't take you for the type.

Jaune: A simple beer, thought you had more taste.

Clover: I tend to have whisky after a reward for a rough day, for this a simple beer will do.

Jaune: I'd take a vodka myself if I wanted something simple. But, it's been a while since I had a drink, so I'll take a scotch.

Jaune thanked the barkeeper when he brought them their drinks. He swirled his drink watching the ice cube move about his drink. He took a sip letting out a satisfying breath of air as he did.

Jaune: That's smooth... I was told by some of the locals while I was walking about, Mantle that Mantilian Scotch is really good; That's a hell of an understatement.

Clover: Really? Maybe I should try it, and maybe you can try a beer too.

Jaune: Actual piss has more flavour in it than that piss in a bottle.

Clover laughed at, Jaune's little jab, he looked at, Jaune a serious look crossing his face.

Clover: Uhh... listen, Jaune...

Jaune: Is this where you ask me questions about my relationship with, Winter, or are we going to talk about you, and Harriet instead?

Clover stopped in his tracks, looking dumbfounded at, Jaune who just gave him an inquisitive eyebrow in return.

Jaune: Well?

Clover closed his mouth before giving, Jaune an amazed, yet scared look.

Clover: Again, you notice way too much, and it's scary how much you do.

Jaune laughed as he spun the ice cup around in his drink.

Jaune: Relax, Clover. I've been expecting you to ask me about you two since I caught you making your way to the, Ever Light Hotel~!

Clover: Hey! Keep it quiet about... the hotel!

Jaune gave another light laugh before taking another sip of his drink.

Jaune: Okay, Clover; Let's play a little game then shall we?

Clover: What kind of game?

Jaune: I ask you a question about you, and Harriet. Then you ask me a question about me, and Winter. You game.

Clover: Okay. I'm game... You first.

Jaune: Oh good, because I've been wondering for weeks now; How the hell did you two get together?

Clover: Ahh... Well... before you joined us, the Specialist, we already had six members... But, we lost one, his name was, Tortuga.

Jaune: Tortuga... I remember hearing, Harriet saying that name... She said, 'I was good, but I wasn't anything compared to, Tortuga.' Is that why, Harriet hates me? Because, I'm some sort of replacement of this, Tortuga fellow?

Clover: Kinda. Harriet, and Tortuga always had this older brother, younger sister dynamic to them. So when, Tortuga died, Harriet lost her 'big brother.' She didn't take it well...

Jaune: I can understand that. I have seven older sisters... I can barely handle the thought of losing one of them...

Clover: Well as it's my job as team leader to help my teammates. So, I talked with her, consoled her, and was just there for her when she needed it. A shoulder to cry on, a face to scream at. A friend.

Clover: Then one day, the whole team went here to relax, and have a drink, and while the rest of the team slowly went home one after another, bunch of light weights the lot of them! Harriet, and I stayed there getting absolutely waisted... Then...

Jaune: You woke up in each others arms in an uncompromising position?

Clover: Uhh... ahh.. yeah... that's pretty much it...

Jaune laughed at, Clovers face as it was flushed red from embarrassment.

Clover: There was some awkwardness between the two of us. But, we managed to work it out, and we've been dating in secret for about two months now.

Jaune: Why in secret; is there something against, Specialist dating each other?

Clover: No, there isn't any rule. We just don't want the others to know, I mean if, Elm finds out about us, we'll never hear the end of it!

The pair shared a short laugh that ended when the bartender brought them their meals. The duo thanked the bartender before they went back to their conversation.

Clover: Okay, it's my turn... How the hell did you get together with, Winter freaking Schnee? I mean... I've know, Winter for years, but she never struck me as the type who would be interested in dating anyone. Much less you.

Jaune: Rude...

Jaune nonchalantly replied while enjoying the fries on his fish, and chips. He quite liked the mixed spices they were using.

Clover: I don't mean to be rude, It's just... you seem so... so simple.

Jaune: I guess that's what she likes about me.

Clover: You guess?

Jaune: I don't know, or really understand why they like me. I was just being myself with them; honest, open, being an absolute dork... Honestly, I haven't the faintest clue how those two fell for me. I've flirted with woman before, and I was absolute trash! Like what the fuck was I thinking?!

Clover: Everyone was an idiot when it comes to flirting.

Clover commented this as he was shoveling his chili froes into his mouth.

Jaune: That was a year ago...

Clover: Pfft?!

Clover soon developed into a small coughing fit, before grabbing his beer, and chugging it down.

Clover: (Cough, cough, cough!) Serious, you went to being a loser who couldn't flirt with a girl for the life of them, to having, Winter Schnee fawning all over you?!

Jaune: Yeah, I don't understand it either...

Jaune dipped his fish into the hollandaise sauce, marveling at how nice it tasted. He also flagged down the bartender over to get, Clover another beer.

Jaune: Honestly if feel like I'm just standing there, and some hot girl looks at me like: "Haha! What's a dork!"

Jaune: "I must have him for my own."

Clover: Seriously?

Jaune: It's happened at least four times, two in the past two weeks... Okay, my turn: What's up with, Harriet?

Clover: What do you mean?

Jaune: Harriet's been looking a little queasy lately... Did any... definitions of 'lucky' happen?

Clover: Huw...?!

Clover dropped his fork in shock at the implications at, Jaune's honest question.

Clover: ...?!

Jaune: Well?

Clover: No! N-N-Nothing like that at all! She's just sick from bad fish, I swear! We had it checked! She's not pregnant!

Jaune: Then you better keep using those condoms, or birth control. I don't think you two want that to happen... Yet?

Clover: Well... I wouldn't mind it happening eventually... but, there's too much going on right now...

Jaune: Well, regardless of what happens, I wish you two the best of luck! Not from just your semblance.

Jaune raised his drink in the air before, Clover raised his in the air for a salute. Jaune then finished his drink, asking the barkeeper for another.

Clover: My turn?

Jaune nodded as he finished the last remnants of his meal.

Clover: Okay... When I asked you about you, and Winter. You kept saying, 'they:' Why?

Jaune: Ahh... I'm not gonna lie to you, Clover... but, I'm stuck within a love triangle between two woman.

Clover: You're... in love triangle...?

Jaune: Yep.

Clover: Seriously?

Jaune: Yep!

Jaune gave, Clover a dead serious look as he answered him. Popping the, P to emphasize his point.

Clover: How...?!

Jaune: I don't understand how these things happen to me either.

Clover: Between who?

Jaune: Winter Schnee, and Robyn Hill...

Clover: Robyn Hill?! She's into you? Again, how?

Jaune: Not sure. My best bet is that I was honest with her. Robyn's semblance lets her decern truth from lies. I can only guess what she went through to have a semblance such as that. But, I think saving her from a psycho faunas certainly helped.

Clover: Being the literal white knight saving the damsel...? Yeah, I bet that helped.

Jaune: Now the two of them have given me tokens of affection, and I have no idea what to do...

Clover: The sash, and that falcon pin?

Jaune: Lucky guess.

The pair shared a laugh before continuing their stories.

Jaune: Now the worst part is, is that they both know the other likes me, and they've both staked their 'claims' on me. I'm literally stuck between two badass huntresses who could beat my ass, who are more than willing to fight each other tooth, and nail to get me! I have no idea how to navigate any of this!! And, worse of all: It's fucking hot that I have two beautiful, wonderful woman fighting over me!

Clover: Do you know which one you want to be with?

Jaune: I don't know... They're both among the greatest, and most beautiful people I've ever met! And, as much as I've enjoyed their rather, forceful kiss's. I want to be the one to steal their breath away with a kiss. But, I have no experience when it comes to the affairs of the heart, so I haven't got a damn clue on what to do... And, it's as you said, there is too much going on right now to worry about such things...

Clover: But, if you had to choose: Who would you pick?

Jaune shrugged his shoulders before looking at, Clover.

Jaune: Both?

Clover snorted as he smacked, Jaune on his shoulder before slapping a pile of credits on the bar top after finishing he second beer.

Clover: It's on me. Now come on, let's back to base.

Jaune finished his scotch before getting up, and following, Clover out of the bar.

Jaune: This was nice. Thanks for inviting me, Clover. We should do this again. Only this time, drinks are on me.

Clover: Looking forward to it.

[longingforrotkehlchen]

My 2024 Top 10 Favourites.

On Melancholy Hill Tumblr's and my absolute favourite. There isn't much to say. I just remember turning around while counting geese, and there it was - an idyllic scene. A crow extraordinarily relaxed, loafing on a nice spring afternoon. I came a bit closer thinking I *really* hope it stays. Then I crouched fearing the same, but the crow, watched me attentively and stayed. I was blessed - the luck of photographing birds more used to people. The slope gave me the perfect height for the shot, and the crow just chilled there, looking like something was occupying its mind. I got what I wanted and left. The crow stayed there, but it also stayed with me forever.

Sweet mommy's love It was Graugansito season and fortunately I was right in time to see the very little ones. This scene was beautiful, and obviously the geese just chill by the lake and all you need is a perfect moment to capture. This one stood out for me. And I can neither confirm nor deny whether there were more goslings hidden under mommy's wing.

Europe's angriest bird This picture was taking by cheating. So call me a cheat. It is nice, but I cheated. And even worse, I made a little guy angry. Yes, I did play playback (even though I believe that's wrong) in this one because I had seen a pair of goldcrests here the previous week and I was very curious to see if they were genuinely staying and breeding in this place. The male came and sang immediately –that's how I got him nicely close to me–, but the best thing about this encounter wasn't the pictures - it was realizing that the bird seemed to know there wasn't another bird. That I was the source of the goldcrest song. That I was his enemy. I haven't managed to make a bird love me, but that day, I managed to make one hate me.

The light of duckling This pond lends itself to high contrasts and you can play a little with that. I didn't have much time, and the ducklings were all over the place, but I got lucky (otherwise, this post wouldn't exist). As I was leaving I took one last shot with the settings I had for a different spot - and it turned out well. Some of my favourite photos are those that transmit emotions when you look at them. I think this is also one of them.

Spring has arrived It's easy to forget you don't have to be very close to the bird to get a nice photo. In any case, here I was taking a photo out of excitement at seeing Hausrotschwanzkehlchen back, before getting closer to the bird. I never intended it to be anything more than a 'proof' shot, but sometimes those turn out way better than expected.

Is this fluff real? It was peak migration, sunny late afternoon, Schwanzmeise flock and there I was, trying to capture this so-called product of my imagination. It was difficult to get the right angle as the sun was behind them and I had to avoid the backlight, but the good thing about them is that they don't seem to care much about your presence. I got this one really really nicely, and right after they left, I saw my first black storks in the sky. Last September was good.

One more shot As I focus on birding and photography comes second, sometimes I might just leave with zero nice photos to post. That day was no different, but that day I was also thinking: "I'm running out of current photos to post." So I gave it an extra shot, overstayed, and tried to find a subject. A big Blaumeise bunch showed up, many of them, busy foraging, and (I think it was always the same) one came so close that allowed me to take some cute photos.

The pose There's little challenge in taking photos of the coots in this pond. If that wasn't enough, the light was nice that day and someone had thrown a pallet in it. The coot was standing on it and I thought the opportunity was too nice to ignore. Then it even started stretching, giving me the chance to capture this nice pose. The poop is just extra.

The babiest Wacholderdrossel As I was leaving the S-Bahn station, coming up the stairs, I saw this baby perched on a handrail. I could barely believe it, so I emerged, went there, and took my camera out. The baby was going nowhere despite people walking right in front of it. I took some photos, in awe, and I don't know what everybody else contemplating us thought, but I thought that I was so damn lucky to have such a cute photo without even having started.

Just a moment If you're learning photography, nobody is going to tell you "just shoot at whatever you see," but that seems to work sometimes. It's not my intention, mind, because here I saw a little bird perching above my head and I really needed this shot to indeed confirm I was seeing Fitis and not Zilpzalp. But look at that little face, that smoothness... I guess when you take thousands of shots while going places, a few might also be nice. It's never easy to decide, but here's my selection with some background/behind the scenes. As usual there isn't much to it. Mostly just press the button. Let's hope 2025 brings us more bird joy to all of us!

[zablife]

When They Leave Bruises

A/N: 🔞 A few quick headcanons. No editing just my unfiltered thoughts.

John

🖤 John can't help his strength, pinning your arms above your head as you play fight in the betting shop after hours.

🖤 His fingers dig into the delicate flesh of your wrists as he kisses you hard, reminding you why you pretend to be slower than him when he gives chase.

🖤 As you pretend to push back against the crushing weight of his hips, you have to admit his dominance is a turn on.

🖤 You’d let him do anything to you so the press of his fingertips is little to worry over, until you notice the marks next day.

🖤 John rolls your sleeves back to examine your skin the moment he glimpses the first mark and kisses each one softly.

🖤 He promises not to be so rough with you, but you only shake your head in disagreement. “I like it when you’re rough,” you confess and he smirks against your neck.

Tommy

🖤 Tommy loves taking you against his desk, gripping your hips in a vice like grip.

🖤 When he’s in need of stress relief, he’ll pull you toward him knowing you’re the only one who can stop the wheels turning in his overactive mind.

🖤 He often doesn’t realize when he crosses the line from passionate to brutal as he fucks you and it’s in those moments he’s most likely to mark you up. Crescent shaped marks dug into your supple flesh.

🖤 When he catches sight of the bruises marring your skin, he’s wracked with guilt and tries his best to make it up to you.

🖤 Even if you tell him it doesn’t bother you, he’ll shower you with kisses and presents until you’ve assured him many times over that you wanted it just as much as he did.

Arthur

🖤 Arthur isn’t like his brothers, he won’t apologize for his lovemaking, even if he’s under the influence.

🖤 You belong to him and being insecure, he marks you up to show his ownership.

🖤 He’s been known to leave handprints around your throat when he’s high on snow, choking you for your pleasure and his.

🖤 Tommy is the one to make him stop, threatening to hide you away from him if he doesn’t stop hurting you.

🖤 What Tommy doesn’t understand is your masochistic streak, needing Arthur’s punishments to feel loved.

🖤 When you explain this to your brother-in-law, he leaves you and Arthur to your own, twisted desires.

Luca

🖤 Luca expects obedience from his girl. If you so much as look at another man, his jaw clenches in anger to be revisited upon you later.

🖤 He’d never lay a finger on you in front of others, preferring to teach you a lesson at home.

🖤 His particular brand of punishment isn’t entirely unwelcome tho. He’ll spread your legs with his large hands, coaxing you into a trance like state with his tongue and leaving prints along the inside of your thighs as he holds them open to deliver another shattering orgasm.

🖤 The final mark comes from his possessive bite to your thigh, the sting causing you to whimper.

🖤 He’ll soothe it with his warm mouth and gentle words, telling you how much you mean to him. Then he’ll insist you reciprocate.

🖤 And you’ll echo the sentiment back to him in your blissful stupor.

Alfie

🖤 Alfie might seem fearsome to others, but he’s a gentle giant with you.

🖤 You practically have to beg him to choke you and even then, his hold is disappointingly limp. “You can’t hurt me, Alf,” you assure him, but he’s resolute in his decision. “I could tho, dove,” he answers with tears in his eyes.

🖤 He’s far more open to spanking tho, knowing it’s a safe area for impact. He enjoys watching your ass jiggle as he delivers a firm slap.

🖤 When he begins walking with a cane, you are the one to persuade him to strike you with it.

🖤 Tho hesitant at first, he comes around to it when he hears the lovely little gasps of pleasure from your mouth.

🖤 He’ll insist on rubbing the red marks with ointment to care for you tho.

Michael

🖤 Michael is a sadist and your pain is his pleasure.

🖤 He makes it clear to you when you begin dating that he wants full agency over your body.

🖤 He trains you to crave his brutality until you’re practically begging for his hand against your skin.

🖤 He delights in your corruption as well as the breathtaking sight of purple and blue blossoming over your skin.

🖤 And you wear them proudly, knowing you’re his and his alone.

Bonnie

🖤 Bonnie is a gentle soul who only shows his temper in the ring. His opponents are the ones most likely to receive the brunt of his aggression.

🖤 However, the adrenaline pumping thru his veins after a fight often means he takes certain liberties with you.

🖤 Without realizing, he’ll force you down for a fuck while he’s still feeling that high, his hands and mouth clamping down against you possessively.

🖤 It never occurs to him until later that he’s capable of hurting you and he always chastises himself when he sees the damage he’s done.

🖤 He’ll beg forgiveness for the bruises left across your swan like neck, fingertips tracing the pattern lightly until his forehead drops to your collarbone in shame. But you always stroke his hair and whisper words of comfort to assuage his guilt.

———————-

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[lumenhuman]

"Once you get down to it, it's really funny how much our senses lie to us, omitting details to make everything seem so much simpler than it is.

"An open flame looks incredibly simple on the surface. Lashing tangerine whips that peel away at the air, giving rise to smoke and heat for seemingly no reason. At least, to your limited faculties.

"But to control something in the manner of a mage, a true mage, one must understand it, in its entirety. Study it, nurture it, consume and be consumed by it. As you might tell," I raised my arms from underneath my cloak, making a show of the myriad burn scars that plastered my skin oh so beautifully, "I've taken that crucial step, and I'm all the better a wielder of the arcane for it."

"Human," The judge interjected, "I am not here today to absorb the philosophy of a man who's brutally killed thousands of elven POWs." The disgust in his voice was evident. "I've seen the crystal images captured in your camps. Do you truly expect me to believe you caused such suffering with basic fire magic?"

I grinned. I couldn't help it. This was always my favorite part. "I do." I held in a small chuckle. Not yet. "Because you don't know what fire is."

The gallery behind me broke into enraged jeering at the sound of my proclamation. It took a full minute of the judge banging his gavel and shouting "Order!" before the racket died down. Finally, he glared at me from atop his bench once more, before explaining, "It is simply impossible for any human to perform what you've done. Even your strongest mages can't hold a candle to a mid-ranked elven apprentice. So tell me exactly wh-"

"That's just it!" I yelled into the courtroom. I couldn't contain it anymore, I had to speak my mind. I could feel my grin widening, threatening to split my cheeks at the ends. "You pompous twig-eaters have lorded your mastery of magic over mankind for far too long! Your raw power, your mana control, your casting speed, we can't compare to any of it! But you forgot what humans are best at," I let out a single laugh, which echoed through the deathly silent courtroom, before I swiftly contained it. I continued, "We can adapt like no other.

"We live nowhere near as long as you self-righteous pricks. Seven of our generations pass in only a half of one of yours. But we always make the most of our time. We study, and we learn, and we consolidate that knowledge on what those before us discovered, over and over again, until we finally learn the truth. And I," I met the judge's gaze, peering deep into his spirit, searching for the fire, "Am the first to discover it."

The elf sitting in front of me simply asked, "What did you discover?" His voice was a sumptuous mixture of repulsion and morbid curiosity, a cocktail I'd drank many times before whenever I regaled another with my knowledge, and was always fond of.

The hilarity of the situation was getting unbearable. I couldn't help but laugh through my words as I revealed, "Fire doesn't make heat," I fought down another fit of laughter, "It IS heat!"

Both the gallery and the judge simply stared at me, silence covering the room for a precious few seconds while I let them marinate in my knowledge.

The judge was apparently the sharpest one there. I could tell he understood the moment I saw his face of confusion twist into absolute horror.

Yes, YES, YES!

His voice now barely above a whisper, he stuttered, "You... you mean that... that it's...?"

"It's nothing more than a pretty little light show that our eyes use to make sense of the world?" If my feet weren't shackled to the floor I would've approached him, to get a better look at his dying soul. "Because that's all it is. Fire is not a producer, it's a product. You wood-brained aristocrats spend your whole lives so focused on only what you can see and what you can hear, that you never figured it out!

"What we call 'fire' is just a sensory representation of vast amounts of heat. And what is heat, if not pure, unadulterated energy. The force the drives all motion, all change, EVERYTHING that happens in the entire cosmos, happens because of energy. If you control fire, you control heat. If you control heat, you control energy. And if you control energy..."

"STOP!" The judge shouted, livid that his reality was being shattered. A common reaction. "Clearly you're making all of this up! Those pictures must have been faked, scenes staged with illusion magic as a fear tactic!"

Grasping at straws. This questioning never would've happened if that was what the elven high-council believed from the start. I smirked. "If you truly don't believe me, you can always come and remove this restraint collar, and ask me to prove it. It's either that, or accept that the humans are getting stronger than you."

Chaos erupted once again, my challenge being met with mixed response. The screaming only quieted down after the judge pulled out a wand and swiftly cast a silencing spell over the gallery, muting them until they were barely audible.

I kept my mouth shut through the whole ordeal, until the judge was staring daggers at me again. His rage and internal conflict were palpable in his expression, and it took a few minutes for him to make up his mind.

Then another few to cast every warding spell that he knew on himself before he stepped down from the bench.

Aglow with the mana from his wards, he approached the desk where I stood, until he was mere feet from my face. He was a good foot taller than me, but so much thinner, it seemed he would snap in a stiff breeze. His eyes were filled with defiance, a look of absolute certainty that he was right.

It was so lovely. Or rather, what it would become was lovely.

He drew a rune in the air, and I heard the latch of my collar click, before it fell to the ground. I stretched my neck back and forth, getting it used to it's full range of motion again. "You've made the right choice, your honor."

He chuckled, "I knew you couldn't do it."

Before he could react I launched out my right hand directly through all of his wards and grabbed him by the face. "You've given me an entire plater of new subjects!"

I started by boiling his tongue.

The Elf looks down to the lone human mage "You stand trial for warcrimes. Explain how you did it with just fire Magic" he said dismissively. "Well. Have you ever thought how and why fire burns?"

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

What a Mess 6

Warnings: non/dubcon and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Character: thick!Bucky Barnes

Summary: Your new job isn’t all that you expect. (maid AU – short!reader)

Note: hate me, baby.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️

You pack away your kit and drag the vacuum to the elevator. You give one last look to the condo then tap the button and wait. You jitter as you stare at the doors, urging on your escape. From this place, from him. 

He didn’t hurt you, did he? He wasn’t cruel but he also didn’t stop. He didn’t ask. He just... did that. But you’re the one who touched him first. But he said yes. That’s the difference, isn’t it? Or did you give him permission by initiating the whole breach of behaviour. 

“Doll,” his hands clamp down on your shoulders and jar you from your anguished trance. You gasp and look over at the metal fingers curling around you. “What’sa matter?” 

You quiver as the elevator doors open. You grip the vacuum tight and try to walk out of his grasp. That’s a foolish thought. He keeps you as you are. 

“You’re in a hurry?” He wonders. 

You gulp and drop your head, the hose quiver in your hand. You wet your dry lips and shudder. You can’t hear over the thumping pulse behind your ears. 

“Hey,” he spins you and the vacuum hose falls from your grasp. You blink up at him, staring at his face if only to avoid another glimpse of his naked form. He cups your head. “Your heart’s about to explode. Why don’t you sit down? You been working hard.” 

You touch the back of his hands as your eyes glaze over, “please...” 

He searches your face, his expression lining with confusion, “what?” 

Your lip trembles and you drop your arms. You can’t fight him. You can feel that same oppression as before. His body over yours, smothering you, suffocating you. This isn’t just a man, this is a super soldier. 

“Are you scared?” He asks. 

You nod without thinking. He retracts his touch and turns away. “I was... nice.” 

You hug yourself as the elevator shuts and descends. Your way out weighs heavily on the wires as it disappears. You dig your nails into your arms. 

“I’m scared too, doll,” he turns back again. You wince and avert your gaze to the wall. “It’s been a long time... long time since anyone... since I let anyone...” He marches toward you and you back up until you hit the doors. 

You watch him in horror as he gets down on his knees. He grabs your wrists and unfolds your arms, clasping them in his and kissing your knuckles. You whimper as he opens your palms to him and brushes them over his thick beard. 

“I need you, doll. You can’t leave me like this,” he begs. 

You don’t know what he wants. You can’t figure why he’s doing this. Why he’s clinging to you like a scared puppy. You didn’t do anything but your job. No, you touched him first. 

“I only wanted to help,” you whisper. 

He kisses your palms and hums, “you did, baby. You did.” 

“Bucky, I have to go,” you quaver. “Home.” 

He hisses and goes silent. He continues to toy with your hands. He guides them to his hair as he shuffles closer on his knees. He grips your hips and pulls you forward. He nuzzles your pelvis with a growl and you squeak. 

“Bucky!” You squeal. 

He purrs and rolls his face against you, his thumbs pushing into your soft flesh. He continues to nuzzle you firmly, rocking his head as he inhales your scent through your jeans. You babble helplessly and push on his shoulders. 

“I can make you feel good, doll,” he looks up at you with beaming blue eyes. “I wanna. So bad.” 

You wriggle but don’t offer much resistance. You feel his strength and your lack of. The doors are shut, in all ways. 

He snakes his hands around to your bottom and suddenly, he stands, lifting you off your feet. You cry out again and latch onto him in fright. He hooks your knees around him and gives a sultry growl over your hair. He carries you away from the elevator. 

You quake against him as you resign yourself to his whims. He takes you around to the front room and sits you on the sofa. You lean back and brace the cushions as he traces along your waist band. He pinches the front and pushes the button of your fly free. 

Paralysed, you watch him, a hollow shell as he pulls down the tab of your zipper. He exhales deeply as he once more feels along the denim and hooks his fingers beneath. He tugs, jerking you, peeling your pants down to your thighs. 

You plant your heads firmly to keep from slipping down as he rolls your jeans past your knees. You shiver as he exposes you to the airy space. His eyes crawl up your legs and frames your waist as he bends over your lap. 

His hand creep down to your shaking thighs and push them apart as he bows further. He breathes into the front of your cotton panties and nips the fabric. He snarls and presses his nose against you, dipping into your slit.  

You squirm as his trails a fingertip along the crease of your leg and tugs aside the cotton. You quiver as he purrs and slides his tongue along your folds. You arch your back, pushing your head into the cushions as you whine. The coolness of his mouth mingles cloyingly with your warmth. 

He flicks up and down as you squeak and twitch, slapping the cushions as your insides writhe uncontrollably at his tending. His finger grazes along your skin and he prods at your entrance, teasing it as his tongue swirls around your clit. You hiss and hum, trying to hold back the moans trapped in your chest. 

You bite your lips as your head lolls and your eyes roll back. Your fear gives way to something more vulnerable, something undeniable. You latch onto his head and arch your feet as the tension winds in your core. 

He’s right. He hasn’t hurt you. If you’re good, then he won’t. If you’re good, it will feel good. Right? 

[zorange13]

— love island, enhypen edition

— enha as islanders x afab reader (maknae line) | hyung line

so grateful for all of the love on the hyung line version. i love all of you and i hope you liked this one just as much. i suffered a bit of writer's block while writing this. but we persevere!!

warnings/content. suggestive content, sigh…i got carried away on like all of these, misunderstanding trope (it’s not that bad i promise), slowburn, i watched to all the boys i’ve loved before and ever after high while writing this (so healing), not much just love island stuff, no casa amor for riki’s tho (don’t hate me, i just didn’t think it was necessary)

not proofread, bro i gotta start doing that omg

word count. 6.3k

inspired by the aot edition written by @rynfiles !!

Jungwon 양정원

not the eldest (duh), he is kinda the dad out of the group

also an og

wins a lot of fans over by his cute, boyish looks (ofc)

and don’t let him smile, omg THE DIMPLES????? yeah.

also another that people go to for advice for

but somehow the girls there don’t go for him because he seems to be too cute

like, he’s one of the younger ones there and most of the girls preferred the older, more experienced guys

the girls took care of him and almost babied him

to which he would never reject the attention of beautiful women!! (duh) but he didn’t want pity

so it kinda balances out in a way

even though he is such a worrywart, he does in fact know how to have fun and enjoys cracking jokes, playing lil innocent pranks, and having lil dance parties

bc it’s not like yall have your phones 

anyways

you were not an og so…a bombshell lmao

and needless to say, you had such a huge wall up and didn’t know how to even handle men after your last relationship

you had been cheated on…baddd

and coming on this show was just something that you didn’t think much into but one day you auditioned and never looked back

the producers said something about you would make good tv

so why not?

you came in during week 3!!

at this point, won was coupled up with one of the og girls

but it wasn’t really going anywhere and that was ok!!

you came in, not really expecting much

but the great thing was that you were like the only girl that was jungwon’s age

so immediately his head was turnt

the prods did that dumb thing where they have you go on a date with all of the guys to see which one you like more

basically you sit at a table and the guys just kind of microwave their ways from the table to wherever they came from

but ngl…none of them were your type like

jake…hot asf but eh

sunoo…stunning but he was too cute

heeseung…just no lmao

jay…that’s just the bro ngl

riki…yes!! but oh…he’s too young for your liking

so nothing really stuck

UNTIL!!

mr. yang jungwon sat across from you

he was also very hot and very cute 

but still…you couldn’t show your cards yet like 

you had to be a lil mysterious

“hi y/n, im jungwon” he stuck his hand out waiting for your handshake, waiting to sit

to which you liked, all the other dudes just sat down and waved or kissed you on the cheek before they sat

none of them bothered you, it was just nice that jungwon wanted your respect first

the date was genuinely fun!!

you didn’t think that you and him would have that much in common

from what you saw before you came in, he was such a dad

he was the type to serve himself last when they made dinner

the type to make sure the girls put on their sunscreen before their makeup

just very considerate and selfless

almost too much at times

because then he’d find that his food would either be cold

or that he wouldn’t get the portion or piece he wanted

or when he wanted the girls to put on their sunblock, he’d forget to put his on

and would have to get aloe from one of their bags

you, however, did not gaf

you didn’t care to step on toes

you didn’t care to hurt feelings or set boundaries bc you’ve spent so long trying to make others in your life feel comfortable

why?? bc why would you watch everyone around you get what they want except for you? no. (real shit)

selfishness isn’t terrible all the time

so after the date with jungwon, you honestly did enjoy his presence

and vice versa for him so you ended up chatting a lot more

and you guys actually ended up bonding over his current need to people please

and where you lied now with that

“idk, i just feel like i should always look out for people. it’s just how i was raised.”

“yeah, that’s great but when do you ever get what you need? you can’t pour from an empty cup, you know?”

he frowned, not from sadness but it more so exhibited thought. “i guess i’ve never thought of it like that. i just like to feel useful…i feel like when everyone is good then so am i. 

you smiled faintly, “nothing’s wrong with that at all, won. but if it’s at the expense of your own happiness or skimming your wants and needs, then that’s a problem. i’ve been there.”

“really?” he said, genuinely curious. “what happened?”

now you’re kinda mad you even let yourself get this comfortable with him this fast

but this was a time where you had to let yourself be vulnerable

i mean you did sign up for a dating show like cmon

“well…” you sighed, “my last relationship ended about a year and a half ago, and it was pretty rocky. i just thought i was doing everything right, like i was rearranging my schedule to see him. i used to write down everything that he told me that was worth remembering in case i wanted to surprise him with a gift. i’d even bite my tongue when something upset me because i didn’t want to make him upset. now that i think of it, i felt like i was just trying to shrink myself into this little box of what i felt love was and what he wanted me to be or something. but i equated his love to my worth and then my worth to how useful i was to people.”

he let you express yourself but as you did, he slid his hand across the couch cushion where your hand was. though he hesitated, not knowing if you were comfortable

you saw this and decided to be bold and inch your hand forward as well

his ears perked up at the sensation but before he could get totally flustered he spoke up, “so what made you guys break up?”

you smiled bitterly, “he cheated,”

“that’s awful, i’m so sorry. truly, you didn’t deserve that.” anger, then sadness flickered in his eyes

“i know that now, but the best things that i learned was one: never love a man more than he loves me. then two: selfishness and self-preservation isn’t so bad.”

“this is pretty hard for me to hear, but also i think i needed to hear it”

you scooted a little closer to him, “well, you have a cute girl sitting right here with more than enough selfishness to spare. maybe some of it will rub off on you.”

that had to be one of the most cathartic conversations you’ve both had

but from there, he actually started to do for himself more

he wouldn’t wait for everyone to get their food first

he made sure to put his sunblock on 

and now the only other thing that he wanted to worry about now was you

bringing you breakfast, water, making you food when you were hungry in the middle of day, massaging you when you slept funny

in turn, ironically enough you started to do more for the friends you’ve made

you did more favors, said yes but only because you wanted to

you both brought out great things in the each other and it showed

you came in very guarded

but now you were like a butterfly, wearing brighter colors, your natural hair, you didn’t put on as much makeup as before, you laughed more than you have in a long time

all of those things were amazing, putting effort into yourself and looking nice

but you started to feel like your old self and you were gonna embrace for now

you spent more time doing the other girl’s hair and makeup and that was the most fun!!

you and jake’s girl developed a close friendship too!!

when casa came, you also left him a note!!

“ok so i totally left but it’s only for a little bit, i promise!! take care of yourself while i’m out, ok? please promise me, i know i’m not actually there to see you make the promise but i trust you did lmao. don’t miss me too much, or do, because i’ll definitely be missing you. you’re my won and only. love, y/n”

his heart BURST

especially at that last part, so creative it wasn’t like he’s heard that one before

he holds up at casa

still, he’s just being himself

there was one girl in particular that was very into him

she didn’t come on too strong…

i lied i'm sorry she did

but he kept it respectful though!!

you know…arms length

he did genuinely like you and just wasn’t feeling it with the casa girl

he told her, literally right after rejecting her with a smile, “you’re a beautiful girl but my connection is depending on me and i’m doing the same with her. i just wanna make sure i’m doing what’s best for me and her.”

very cut and dry, straight to the point!!

until it wasn’t????

over at the villa, the girls received that godforsaken video of what the boys have been up to

all of the girls were in shock and jaws agape at what they were seeing

when it got to jungwon, all you saw was him and the girl sitting down one of the couches

that wasn’t pleasant to see but whatever

then he sat there, marvelous dimples on display and said, “you’re a beautiful girl, i just wanna make sure i’m doing what’s best for me…”

you were not only, confused but totally shocked

fans hateddd that the prods tried to sabotage like that!!

you’ve made it clear to him what you’ve been through and this was a little more than hurtful

the whole environment was a damn mess like 

some of the girls were crying because their guys weren’t acting right, others were confused

the casa boys tried to help and support the girls but like ew get away we don’t know you wtf

when jungwon came back, you tried to give him the benefit of the doubt

but you were just so withdrawn

at the recoupling he didn’t bring anyone back which surprised you

when asked how you felt about it, you didn’t really have an answer

as days passed and you kept looking at jungwon, it was a reminder of the person you were a year and a half ago

he was tired of it and finally sat you down

“you were flirting with her, won” 

“what?” his brows furrowed, he looked at you like you just said the most ridiculous thing in the world

“you said something about the girl being beautiful and that you’re gonna do what’s best for you.” rolled your eyes

he shook his head in disbelief, as in he was genuinely confused. “i never said that, wait no. i said that but that wasn’t what i said.”

after grabbing your given phone, seeing as you’re the one who it was sent to (conveniently), you both watched the video and jungwon legit burst out laughing

“ok, so they totally twisted the entire thing. what i said was something along the lines of—”

you cut him off, avoiding his eyes. “don’t lie, bro. if you liked the girl then that’s—”

“i don’t even know her! if i liked her i would’ve brought her back.”

“ok so if that was the case then what about me? what if you did like her then what was i supposed to do?”

“you know that’s not fair…”

you leaned back into the chair and huffed, folding your arms. “what did you say?”

“i said that our connection is strong and i want to do what’s best for me and you. i rejected her, i said i didn’t want her.”

you frowned, “i don’t believe you”

he knew you had trust issues, and understandably so. but with that all he could do was sigh, “i get it, you don’t trust me right now and i don’t blame you. that video was crazy but i swear to you—i never even considered her.”

you stayed quiet, folding your arms

he leaned forward, trying to bridge the gap

“what i said was, ‘i’m trying to do what's best for me and her.’ as in, us.” he gestured between you two

“so why even say that? why was it even twisted?”

“because i wanted to make it clear that i wasn’t wavering.” his tone soft, yet firm. “i wanted het to know she didn’t even have a chance. i was..i was hoping that you’d believe enough in me to see that.”

“it’s not just about believing you, won. it’s about what i saw with my eyes and heard with my ears. and it just reminded me of the shit that i wanted to leave behind.”

he leaned back with a sigh, “i didn’t come back to fight with you. i came back because i chose you. and i will keep choosing you, but you gotta trust me.”

“ok”

“ok?” he reached over to you to pull you in for a hug

but you stopped him before he could, “ok. just don’t let anything like this happen again. seriously.”

he nodded, “i promised and i’m gonna keep myself to it. i’m all in with you, baby and i will always choose you.” and you guys shared a gentle kiss

spoiler alert: he kept his promise!!

final 4!!

your last date was a picnic in a hidden garden, with fairy lights, a starry night, with a beautiful guitarist there to play cute mood music

his final speech: “when i came into this, i was so focused on making everyone happy that i lost sight of what really mattered. but with you, i learned that taking care of myself isn't selfish—it’s necessary. and you… you’ve shown me that it’s okay to do things for others, to give more than i ever thought i could. i know trust hasn't come easy for you. you’ve had to fight for it, and i’ve seen that. but i want you to know, the trust we’ve built, it means everything to me. it's not just about what we say; it’s what we’ve shown each other, day by day, that proves we’ve got something real. i don’t want to pretend i’ve got everything figured out, but i do know one thing: i’ve never felt this way before. and i want to keep building with you—slowly, carefully, but always toward something more.”

even though won was so beloved, you were the favorite between you both!!

“seeing her grow has been everythinggg” “they are so black cat and golden retriever” “love a good he fell first and harderrr” “these are my winners idc”

the prods hated that you guys were so loved

Sunoo 김선우

lowkey can see him as the host LMAOO

like he would be asking all the burning questions 

instigating

rolling his eyes at all the dumbasses in the villa

but as a contestant

he’d be a bombshell

i just see him being so sweet (i mean he alr is from my assumptions)

he gives me the couple that partners up like day one and stays solid through the rest of the show

everything about him is just very lighthearted like he’s just there to have fun!!

but when he sees you he’d know that he’d want you

this might sound crazy but just looking at all the other girls repulses him (love them tho!)

he makes it clear that he’s into you and honestly it kinda makes you…teehee

as he continues his journey in the villa he’s adopted as the sweetheart™

everyone goes to him when they wanna vent and just need a listening ear. 

another fan favorite: “bro where did they find this man” “OMGG a man that doesn’t play games and is actually not a literal pos ?/??//?? no way” “i need a man like sunoo in ways that are concerning to mankind”

you and him were talking at the beanbags one day and you were asking him why he seemed like he was too good to be true

“you just slept a lot”

“what does that mean?”

“because i’m the man of your dreams, so you like…manifested me”

you laughed, “shut up” you threw a loose pillow at his head

y’all would be like the boring couple

like gtfoh no one wants to see you two being IN LOVE

WE WANT DRAMA

it’s weird tho bc even tho y’all have been so solid, america kinda doesn’t believe you two

kinda like kendall and nicole like it just felt artificial

you would take losing challenges kinda hard because you were competitive 

sunoo, however, didn’t care but he cared because you did, they were just dumb challenges

were y’all in it for the money or…?

but there was genuine love between you two and it was weird when y’all were voted the fakest girl and guy

it just didn’t make sense, but maybe it was the editing of the show?

til this day you’re like 90% sure the prods sabotaged but it’s ok!!

he just looked at you with so much admiration

he’d help you with your hair if you needed it (only in the event that you were the last girl to get ready or if you were just moving extra slow)

he brought your breakfast like clockwork

he was there if you needed literally anything like it’s insane

when you girls had to leave for casa he was heartbroken

but fortunately, you did leave a note for him!!

“hi baby!! a part of me feels like you’re gonna be hurt  to read this but still we all had to go. i can’t wait to get back to you so we can catch up, i know it’s only gonna be a few days but you know how that feels like forever here. but still, all i’m gonna say is don’t be weird, use your best judgment, and make sure no one bugs out if you can help it. i’ll do the same. i left you a little keepsake, i’ll see you when i get back, precious!”

it’s so bittersweet because he loves the note and it’s like he can hear your voice as he reads it

but that’s the problem, he wishes you were actually here

but he looks across your vanity to see you left him his favorite perfume of yours in a sample just for him

would spray it on him and even spray it on the bed

when the casa girls came he was nice 

it made him sick to his stomach to see another girl sitting at your spot on the vanity table but he knew it was temporary (unless she was picked)

he kept it cute

unfortunately some of the other guys didn’t so he knew recoupling was gonna be a bloodbath

heeseung acting like an asshole

jake doing God knows what

sunoo kinda hated everything that came with love island

you, alongside the friends that he’s made, were the only truly enjoyable things that came with the experience

the useless drama gave him migraines

you ended up coming back with no one and he did the same

it was a happy night for you two 

he hated seeing the girls upset, as did you

but y’all were lowkey eating up the drama lmao

you guys didn’t make it to the final 4

you guys just barely made it in the votes

like out of the final 4, you guys were like 5th

tears

straight EMOTIONAL TEARS 

the couples that were left didn’t want to see you guys go

you guys were beloved still by fans

fans didn’t believe in you guys  until this moment

they were kinda sad that they didn’t bet on you guys earlier 

but you and sunoo didn’t gaf about the money or clout that you gonna get after

all that you needed were each other

Riki 西村力

he auditioned as a joke lmao

he was not betting on making it but when he got the email that was gonna be a contestant, he was shocked

but again, he’s young and turnt so why not

yolo yk?

riki was the youngest boy in the villa (og)

in general he wasn’t that experienced

he’s only ever had one girlfriend in comparison to the others

it didn’t take much for him to realize that

the girls that came in were all older than him and going for the older guys

but it didn’t take a blow at his pride

personally, he doesn’t find the appeal in women that were so much older

like they’re paying bills and he just graduated like

they have nothing in common

but as a person, he got comfortable with the other islanders very quickly and learned a lot about what women do and don’t like from the older sisters in the villa (kinda like bergie from s5)

“yes, riki, you have to flirt. pursue, you’re a man now. most girls will only take initiative to a certain extent, the rest is on you.”

“i know but…how?”

just asking questions, figuring things out blah blah

his relationship with the guys is still very much younger brother

they also give him advice on girls

it’s terrible but he makes note of it so he knows what to and what not to do

he plays stupid pranks on everyone to kill time

but after a while it gets boring when he sees everyone paired off and he’s kinda just…there

but never fear!!

he’s surprised the prods actually like him enough to send him a girl his age

well actually it wasn’t the prods it was the fans that begged for him to have someone (not like he knew that)

“he’s so young, y’all are dead wrong for not having girls his age” “poor riki :( he’s so lonely” “love island plz cast me”

when you walked in, of course he knew you were stunning

i mean, look at you!! just his type

so naturally, all of the islanders were interrogating you at the firepit

“so, y/n, what’s your type?”

you smiled, a little flustered but expecting it. “tall, funny, i like them slim, but like muscular? so i’d say lean?? yeah, lean is the right word. also funny, exciting! i never like to be bored.”

everyone laughed, “well you don’t have to worry about that here, trust.” [sunoo’s girl] said

“i know, i’ve been watching y’all” you say with a playful lilt

heeseung tilts his head, “really? so, who do you have your eyes on right now?” 

what a flirt i stg

you smiled, “not you”

to which that elicited a few laughs from the others, as well as him. “no seriously, anyone here catch your eye?”

you look to the boy sitting a few people down from you, “him”

he was dazed, half listening, and staring blankly at the wooden deck beneath his feet

the only thing that caught his attention was the fact that everyone was looking at him and that you called him out

“me?” he said, with some excitement

you nodded reciprocating, “yeah!”

jake intervened, “wait, how old are you?”

“riki’s age”

the islanders, sans you and riki, all ooooh’d and ahhhh’d 

[jake’s girl] grabbed your arm, locking hers with yours. “that’s so cute, well, we’ll leave you guys to it. you know, gotta give them space.” she looked around at everyone else with wide, indicative eyes. 

they all took hints and left, leaving you two just sitting there awkwardly

and i can’t say that y’all eventually found a groove because…you didn’t

it was so painfully awkward

it’s like all of those things that the girls spoke to him about just…left

but also when he would bring up things to talk about or would ask to see if you shared any interests, nothing clicked

“so do you like music?”

you smiled, “yeah…well who doesn’t like music?”

and vice versa

“do you like to watch tv?”

“of course,”

“cool! do you like anime?”

your shoulders slump, “i’ve tried to watch it, but i can’t seem to get into it. i watched the first season of hunterxhunter and—”

he laughed, “that’s because it’s hxh, that show is…strange. you gotta watch shit like death note, naruto–”

you groaned, “bro that show is mad long”

“you just need to skip all the filler episodes”

you stared at him blankly, “if i need a whole strategy guide to get through it, i’m not watching it”

“it’s a classic!”

wait…i take it back

there was SOMETHING

but somehow even after all of that he couldn’t get any further than just physical attraction

like he knew you were gorgeous but something about you felt dull

like there was nothing you guys had in common

a few days passed, but nothing. 

and you both tried so hard

riki felt so attracted to you, i’ve said it before and i’ll keep saying it

however, nothing stuck and it was really disappointing

you felt similarly so you were on the same page

however, you still didn’t see the appeal in dating anyone so much older

so in some way, riki was like all you had

and you hated the idea of using someone for convenience or obligation

you wanted to want him and for it to be real

in a confession, riki says, “it sounds so shallow to say this but, she checks off all of my boxes. stunning, 10/10. but i feel like nothing’s landing with us, you know? i want to get to know her but i feel like we’re just forcing it. and i don’t want her to feel like she has to settle for me either.”

fans felt him, but still just wanted you guys to work because they saw the potential!!

“but they look so good together!!” “a part of me is sad that there’s nothing there, but another part is kinda glad that riki is getting a taste of what love island and dating is like. it’s good for him.” 

so one night, you guys sat down and things finally came to a head

you guys were alone, all the other islanders kinda scattered throughout the villa and the yard space

“i’m just gonna be honest because i feel like you deserve that.”

he nodded curtly, waiting for you to finish, already anticipating what was coming

“i just don’t think this is working—and it’s not you! i just feel like we’re trying too hard. like you’re everything and more. funny, you’ve been really nice, you’re attractive, but i just feel like we’re missing something.”

there was a beat of silent but then his shoulders settled 

riki smiles, “it’s ok, i’ve been feeling the same way,”

your eyes bulged, “wait you too! omg, this sounds terrible but i’m so relieved wtf.” 

you both shared a laugh

you were both glad that the pressure to perform for one another was alleviated 

since then, things have been ok!!

you did couple up with each other 

mainly for the convenience, and you liked each other enough to not want the other to leave

you guys are hilarious and are sort of the comedic duo of the villa

you guys are kids in comparison to rest so…very childish

but not in an annoying way!!

sort of like spongebob and patrick

ok they’re annoying…

but THEY ARE FUNNY

you both express these feelings in confessionals:

riki: “since we talked about it, it feels different…like in a good way! there’s no pressure and we just vibe now, and i’d like to get to know her for real this time. i feel like i only know her on a friend level, which is nice. i want a friend first you know?”

you: “ok, so why is riki actually funny…? i’m honestly not sure how i missed all of those things the first time around. i feel like i was trying too hard to see if we’d work out and it’s made me miss all of the things that make him fun to be around.”

nonetheless the fans ate up yalls dynamic

but they were still skeptical like…

“...are we sure they’re just not too comfortable? i mean like i love their vibe but WE NEEDD THE ROMANCE” “my besties to lovers slowburn senses are tingling…” “i feel like they’re gonna realize they’re perfect for each other after all omggg”

the islanders couldn’t STAND yall omg

sabotaging challenges

messing up relay races

“you guys gotta stop plotting against us during these challenges” jake groaned as he wrung out his soaked tank top

“it’s just strategy, jakey” you and riki high five, as you then double over laughing

to which he watches you with a smile

but eventually…cracks started to show

when the nights were extra breezy and your dress didn’t cover you up that well, he gave you his jacket

he brought you breakfast every day and made sure jay didn’t put too much or too little of anything in or on whatever you wanted to eat

the way your smile lingered a little too long when he was teasing you

but of course, there’s cameras and fans see it!!

“bro they’re literally falling in love rn and they DONT EVEN KNOW IT” “this feels like the friends to lovers arc i didn’t know i needed” “riki’s smile when she was laughing???? yeah he’s gone”

and don’t kill me

but riki didn’t even peep his feelings until the godforsaken heart rate challenge

you dressed up as a referee: black and white striped crop top, low rise shorts, knee length socks, some cute converse, and of course a whistle

nothing too scandalous!!

you guys are young so no one is expecting a lot from either of you. it’s weird almost, you guys are like the little brother and sister to everyone

so you didn’t do anything extreme, just some funny one-liners.

until you got to riki…

saving the best for last, you sauntered toward him

the boys ooooo’d and playfully punched him; just guy stuff. gross. 

anyways!!!

you flung the string of you whistle around his neck and pulled him closer to you as you got on your knees in front of him

and said, “i think you’re my biggest rule breaker,”

not only were you pulling him physically, you were pulling him in every other way possible

his eyes physically couldn’t leave yours

his heart was beating out of his chest and you hadn’t even really touched him

you pulled him in with your laugh

you pulled him in with your silly little remarks and jabs

and now you were pulling him in with this cheap ass whistle

he smiles, as awestruck as can be, “what rule did i break?”

“you stole my heart”

you’ve never been this bold before

but you did pull him closer, whistle string still around his neck and now his eyes low. almost intoxicated by you

“and you got mine”

wait you didn’t think he’d respond RIGHT THERE ??? WAIT

luckily no one else heard exactly what he said

but you’re like 80% y’alls mics picked it up

STILL so corny, so cheesy, but oh so true

you ended up racing his heart the most!! (duh)

after everything, you guys ended up debriefing…

you guys sat down at the dock and sort of were reliving the chaos that just left you both

then when it got to you, “oh i didn’t know you even had that in you” he lightly hit your knee

you grabbed his hand as you laughed, completely oblivious to the tingling feeling in your stomach

“me neither! i mean it was crazy!! i’ve never been stared at for so long before”

“it was well deserved, especially what your ass put me through!”

you kinda gagged at that, some idiotic part of you was hoping that he just forgot or MAYBE wouldn’t mention it. thus, you ignored what he said and hoped he wouldn’t repeat it.

if you ignore it, it will go away

“do you really think i stole your heart?” he asked

“don’t bring that up! i was just trying to win the game”

he sucked his teeth, rolling his eyes, “shut up! you meant that shit, and i meant what i said too”

you looked around, “you’re serious?”

he nodded, reaching for your hand. “as a heart attack.”

your breath caught for a moment, and you weren’t sure what to say

your relationship with riki had been so playful and friendly (as far as you know it) for as long as you met him

yes, you meant what you said in the challenge but there really isn’t much you guys had in common.

i mean, you guys tried to find commonalities and things to bond over and it didn’t go anywhere

“that’s great, riki. but i just don’t want this to end up like how it was before. like it was so awkward and weird and i don’t want this to ruin us.”

his thumb brushed against your hand, sending sparks through it, “believe me, i know,” he snickered. “but this feels different now though, doesn’t it? i think so.”

you leaned back in thought, “it does, i…like the way this feels. but what if we mess this up again? what if we get—i just don’t want us to not be us again.”

he scoots a little closer to you, your legs now touching. his grabs your leg and placed it over his lap. “then let’s keep it simple,” 

you were a little startled by the intimacy but you maintained your cool when you saw that knowing, gentle smile play on his lips. “simple?”

“yeah,” his hand rested lightly on your shin. “think about it, we tried to be romantic without even knowing each other. now, i know you. i know you more than anyone i’ve known ever. even all 20 of your favorite colors. your favorite rom-coms, i even know your skincare routine in order.” he laughed, “at this point, nothing can bring us back to that.”

“and if it does?” you asked softly, eyes now meeting his own.

his hand slowly moved up and down your shin. “then break my heart. break it into a million pieces.” 

your ears perked up, “wait–you watched–you’re so lame! you watched to all the boys and didn’t even—”

he laughed, “shut up,” before he rested his hand on your cheeks and pulled you into the sweetest kiss you’d ever imagined

maybe being with riki didn’t seem so impossible after all

fans loved you guys!!

“i just love the childlike innocence that they bring to the sluttery of his show” “just a breath of fresh air honestly” “THE SLOW BURN BURNED I TOLD YALL” 

y’all made it to the final 4!!

the final date was something simple; honestly you both appreciated something chill in contrary to the hooliganism that you guys underwent everyday

the prods set up a stunning outdoor setup: a cozy blanket laid out in the middle of a private field with fairy lights strung on nearby trees, a telescope angled at the sky, and a basket of their favorite snacks.

ooh! and there was a special smores kit right next to card decks. 

playing cards, uno (you both avoided that one; no need to start arguing on a date), truth or dare

but his final speech, brace yourself:

“coming into this, i didn’t think i’d get attached to anyone. i thought it’d be fun, a chance to just...be myself and enjoy the ride. and for a while, it was just that. but then,” he paused, looking directly at you “you came along. and everything changed. at first, i thought we couldn’t be more different. we didn’t even make sense on paper, like literally the only thing that we had in common was our age. but then you started pulling me in—in every way possible. your laugh, your little comments, the way you carried yourself. i was hooked before i even realized it. and yeah, it wasn’t perfect, we had our awkward moments. but every time, we found our way back to something real. something i didn’t know i needed until it was right in front of me. i know i joke around a lot, but when i think about what you’ve given me—your time, your patience, your trust—it’s not something i take lightly. you’ve made me want to be better, not just for you, but for myself. so, if i’ve learned anything from this experience, it’s that love isn’t about finding someone who fits into your life perfectly or someone who likes everything you do. it’s about finding someone who just gets you and someone you’re willing to do things for. all because they’re worth it— and you’re so, so worth it. every awkward moment, every stupid rom-com i watched secretly because i knew you liked it, every marshmallow i burned trying to impress you. all of it. so, whether we win or not tonight, i already know what i’ve gained. you’re my best friend, now lover. you’re my world now, i love you, and i’ll do whatever i need to, to make sure that you’re reminded of it everyday.”

we all know who ended up winning

but still you guys are so beloved 

and you even brought a younger audience to love island!!

granted you guys are so happy and get a ton of opportunities now

you’re a brand ambassador for your favorite clothing brand

riki and you also have your own brand deals together and those photoshoots are so much fun!!

you guys also stream and crash out over cod and fortnite together

couples that crash out together, stay together <3

Copyright: © zorange13. 2024. All rights reserved. Do not repost, copy, or distribute without permission.

taglist: @brxght-world @aruumyne @cara9065

[snoopychris]

sharing is not caring

warnings: none really. for once. shocking i know

in which… matt is your boyfriend. and nate’s boyfriend.

“nathan get OFF him!” you yell, trying your best to push nate off your boyfriend. nate had arrived to matt’s room first, but he was your boyfriend. matt is laughing like a little kid, looking between you and nate.

“hey there’s enough of me to go around. sharing is caring” matt jokes, pushing nate off and pulling you into his arms instead. you sit within his legs and you settle down into the spot you’ve claimed as your own, relaxing. his arms are wrapped around your neck and laying on your stomach tracing shapes on your tummy. you giggle at the actions and giggle even louder when nate finally stands up.

hanging out with nate wasn’t crazy to you. it was a fairly normal thing. the abnormal thing was that chris wasn’t there with you. it was abnormal to matt that he was hanging out with more than one person at once. nate jumps onto the edge of the bed and turns on the TV— which was still paused on the star wars movie you were watching with matt— flipping through some channels. you groan when matt gets up, claiming to go to the kitchen to grab some snacks. you don’t doubt that he’ll bring a ton of stuff back, but the position was just getting so comfy. his walk to the kitchen was brief and he knew just what he was looking for, he just wasn’t expecting chris to be home so soon.

“hey man.” chris whispers, popping open his pepsi. matt sends him a smile, grabbing his own can of pepsi, as well as an arizona iced tea for you, and a bottle of water for nate. “sweetie upstairs?” chris asks, taking a swig of his drinks.

matt nods hesitantly, glancing towards the stairs. “yeah. she’s up there with nate right now. we’re watching the five nights at freddy’s movie.” he smiles, the simple thought of you making him lose his mind. he knows that in another life chris was supportive. he just wishes it was this one.

“sweeties pick? she always did love that damn bunny. you left them up there alone? for real? even after what they did?”

“chris what are you even talking about?” matt questions, grabbing a bag of chips from the pantry. chris runs his fingers through his hair, eyeing his brother up and down.

“you serious?” chris questions, his brows furrowing. matt shrugs, still completely clueless. “she sucked him off the summer before junior year. y’can even ask her. she’ll probably lie about it but.” matt’s mouth drops, blinking rapidly at the revelation. he could fight it and argue it in defense of you, but he doesn’t care enough to talk back to chris. he knows he’ll lose. instead, he gathers his thoughts and the things he grabbed and makes his way up stairs.

you smile when you see him. the same damn smile that he swears could save him from an apocalypse. he hands nate’s drink to him and hands you yours before settling in the position you had been in before. his face is blank, almost unreadable. you almost want to question it. to break him apart and find out what’s wrong. when nate moves around on the edge of the bed you decide to wait.

nate doesn’t leave till the movies over. it doesn’t matter to you really, you could be in a room with 1000 people you hate and as long as matt’s arms around you you’d be okay. matt swallows when he leaves, kissing your cheek gently. “can i ask you something?”

you nod and turn to look at him, gripping onto his hand. “you’ve been off since you went to the kitchen. what’d he tell you?” you whisper, knowing that the chance of chris telling him something was high.

“he um… told me about… you and nate? is it true? and i don’t care if it is because at the end of the day i don’t care about your history at all cause like i love you and who you are and not who people say you are and id just rather you be honest with me so i don’t feel like he just said it to get me to break up with you cause he’s mad at you or whatever.” he rambles, but due to his ongoing rambles he doesn’t seem to notice your face. instead of being in some sort of shock or fear, you’re smiling. he blinks at you while he’s waiting for a response but you’re still just… smiling.

“yes nate and i did that. it didn’t mean anything then and it doesn’t mean anything now. it could be 50 years in the future and it wouldn’t mean anything. you know what does mean something?” you giggle, moving to straddle matt’s waist. he hums in response, meeting your eyes. “you just said you loved me. that. means something. and i love you too. if you even meant that. if you didn’t then just forget i said anything.” you smile, pressing your forehead to his. matt finally considers his words before smiling, pressing a kiss to your lips. yeah. your boyfriend indeed.

a/n: here take it. soon i’m gonna have to start working on other shit tho.

tags: @ifwdominicfike @frankoceanfanpage @mattssslutbby @sophand4n4 @matthewsturnsgf @izzylovesmatt @m11rx @chris-hallelujah @sturniolotoast @mattsbrat @wastelandzella @le4hsblog @mattsd0llfac3 @st7rnioioss @isabellewhatt @sturnslutz @chrisscoraline @m4ttg1rl @princessesgarden @ikyoudreamofme @allylovescody

[vintage-bentley]

1. The cultural “nonbinary” identities are examples of how certain cultures other homosexuals and gender non conforming people. It’s the result of strict gender roles and expectations. A man is attracted to other men? Impossible! He must be something other than a man. A woman doesn’t want to live her life cooking and cleaning? Impossible! She must be something other than a woman. These cultures don’t have “third genders” because they’re super duper progressive and enlightened…it’s because they believe that if one doesn’t act according to the expectations of their sex, they must be something else. It’s incredibly regressive and I’d argue that the modern idea of nonbinary is too in the same way.

This is a good video on the topic.

2. Bullying and oppression are not the same thing. And all of the “oppression” that nonbinary people claim to face is literally just being upset that others don’t believe in gender the way they do.

3. The trans identifying people who fought for LGB rights did so because they themselves were LGB. It wasn’t a bunch of heterosexual trans identifying people who benevolently swooped in to save LGB people, it was fellow LGBs.

And plenty of LGB people who didn’t identify as trans were involved in the fight too. They led it. The trans community would know this, because they beat one of these leaders, Fred Sargeant, at pride. So much for respecting those who fought for our rights, I guess.

Stop pretending that if it wasn’t for trans identifying people, LGB people would have stood around helplessly. LGB people were perfectly capable of fighting for themselves, and we still are.

4. I strongly disagree that nonbinary identifying people are the key to destroying the prison that is gender. You’re actually another lock on the prison door.

To truly do away with gender, we need to have no boxes. There needs to be no such thing as “masculine” and “feminine”…just people expressing themselves however they wish with no gendered implications.

The nonbinary identity doesn’t do this. Instead, it creates another box. It says “you don’t fit what’s expected of your sex? Then you must not be that sex at all! You’re nonbinary!”. This then reinforces those expectations with the implication that there’s only so much gender-nonconformity allowed of one’s sex, and anything beyond that boundary is “nonbinary”. Instead of just not having any boundaries for anyone.

A visual explanation of what I’m trying to say is this: what we should be doing is expanding what’s “allowed” of men and women until the boxes (gendered expectations/stereotypes) we’re in explode and no longer exist. What the nonbinary identity does, is take the boxes we already have, and make them smaller to create even more small boxes. Again, just reinforcing the binary that you claim to be rebelling against. But because you now have your own special box decorated with shiny wrapping, I guess it feels revolutionary.

I wish that people who identify as nonbinary could just admit that it’s a subculture. They have more in common with emos and goths than with homosexuals and bisexuals…they aren’t experiencing oppression for the way they were born, at worst they’re experiencing bullying for the way they choose to express themselves. So why are we supposed to consider them Super Special And Oppressed Queers when they just aren’t? They need to just leave LGB people alone and embrace the fact that they are an aesthetic-based subculture, not an oppressed minority.

[silent-stories]

𝐓𝐎 𝐁𝐔𝐈𝐋𝐃 𝐀 𝐅𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐘 - 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍

Pairing: Noah Sebastian x reader

Series summary: When Noah was left alone to take care of his daughter about two years ago, he never thought he would find someone else he would trust enough to include in his little family. But things can change.

Tw: angst

Series masterlist

The first night without Noah felt like the heaviest.

You slipped under the covers, the soft fabric of your pajamas feeling foreign against your skin in the quiet of the room.

Your house felt cold and empty, now that you were used to spending almost every night at Noah's. You pulled the blanket tighter around you, trying to find some comfort in its warmth, but it did little to ease the ache in your chest. The silence around you seemed louder than ever, pressing in from all sides.

The thought of how you were going to live without Noah now weighed on you—heavy and suffocating. No more goodnight texts to look forward to. No more knowing that when you woke up in the morning, his goodmorning text would be waiting, like a little promise that he was thinking of you. It felt strange, almost impossible to imagine a morning where that wouldn’t be the first thing you’d see.

You could already picture the screen lighting up with his name, his words that always made you smile—good night, beautiful. That simple, small gesture that made everything feel a little brighter when you weren’t physically with him.

But there would be no message waiting for you now. There would be no good mornings, no arms around your waist when you’d stir in the early hours of the day. No Noah. The thought made your stomach churn, and the emptiness settled deeper within you. You turned your head, eyes lingering on the empty space beside you. It was cold, untouched, and as the minutes stretched on, you felt a deep sense of isolation.

You grabbed your phone, half-hoping, half-knowing that there would be no text from him.

You were half expecting a "hey, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have reacted that way. Can I call you?" but you were aware that if you hadn't received it since that morning, it would never have came.

You dropped the phone beside you, closing your eyes tightly as if willing the sadness away. You tried to remind yourself that this was for the best—that everything would be okay, that you’d be fine. But the ache in your chest felt too real, too present.

With a sigh, you curled into yourself, pulling the covers tighter around your body. There was no point in pretending it didn’t hurt, no point in pretending you didn’t long for his touch, the sound of his voice, the comfort of knowing that he still loved you.

You turned onto your side, and you opened your eyes, staring at the wall in front of you, trying to force your mind to slow, but it wouldn't let you. Thoughts of Noah—of his absence—raced through your mind, each one more painful than the last. You had never imagined it would end up like this.

Your heart tightened, and before you could stop it, the first tear since you had stopped crying that morning, slipped down your cheek.

It wasn’t a sob, not a loud cry that broke through the night. It was soft, quiet—just a single tear slipping into the pillow. And then another. Slowly, quietly, the tears came.

You tried to wipe them away, tried to tell yourself you’d be fine, that this was just a moment, just one night. But the ache in your chest wouldn’t go away. You curled up tighter, as if holding yourself would somehow make it hurt less, but it didn’t.

Your breathing became uneven, soft sobs shaking through your body.

And so, with the tears still on your cheeks and your pillow wet, you eventually drifted off to sleep.

You spent the night tossing and turning in your bed, having strange dreams that you remembered nothing of when you woke up.

The first morning you woke up without Noah was the worst.

The morning light filtered weakly through the curtains, but it did nothing to lift the weight pressing on your chest. You woke up with a jolt and you turned your alarm off. For a brief, heart-stopping moment, you thought maybe the day before had all been some twisted nightmare, but then the truth sank in. Noah had actually broken up with you. The words you had tried to avoid saying to yourself now echoed in your mind with cruel finality: He broke up with me.

The realization made your stomach churn. You dragged yourself out of bed, the ache in your chest never fully subsiding, and you moved through the motions—getting dressed, going through the routines—but it all felt so foreign now.

You forced yourself to get to work. The drive and then short walk to the café were mechanical, your feet carrying you without much thought. You couldn't stop your mind from replaying Noah's words, each detail sharper and more painful than the last. You tried to shake it off, but nothing worked.

When you stepped into the café, the familiar smell of coffee and baked goods hit you, but it did little to soothe the hollow ache gnawing at your insides. Grace was already behind the counter, arms crossed, a sharp look in her eyes as she surveyed the room. As soon as she saw you, however, her gaze softened just a fraction, a rare flicker of concern crossing her usually cold demeanor.

She leaned over the counter, arching an eyebrow. “What happened to you? You look like you’ve been run over by a truck.”

You tried to force a smile, but it fell flat, barely a twitch at the corners of your mouth. Grace's eyes narrowed, sensing something deeper than just a rough morning. She stepped closer, studying you with an intensity you weren't really used to from her.

"Hey. What happened?” she asked again, her tone a little less biting than usual.

You opened your mouth to lie, to give some casual response, but the words wouldn’t come. You bit your lip, feeling the lump in your throat rise. And suddenly, there was no avoiding it. You couldn’t keep it inside anymore. “Noah… Noah broke up with me yesterday.”

The words hung in the air, heavy and sharp. Grace’s face shifted, the usual sarcasm and sharpness giving way to something softer, more human. For the first time, she didn’t seem like the usual bitchy barista who took pleasure in her snide remarks.

"What? Why?"

"I swear I didn't do anything, Grace. I barely touched Jason. He came drunk at Noah's house in the middle of the night and I let him in because he had nowhere else to go. I was just trying to be... I don't know. Nice? I just didn't want to leave him out. Noah found him there the next morning and there are pictures online and he thinks I cheated on him or something and this was all Jason’s plan because I saw the way he looked at me when he left and I-" you had to stop talking when your eyes filled with tears again.

"Fuck." You whispered to yourself.

Grace stared at you for a moment, and then, unexpectedly, she pushed herself off the counter and walked around to where you stood. “Hey,” she said, her voice quieter now, more sincere. “I know I’m always a bitch, but I’m not a monster. Come here.”

And before you could protest, before you could even fully process what was happening, Grace wrapped her arms around you in a hug. It was awkward at first, like she wasn’t entirely sure how to comfort you, but the warmth of her embrace was unexpected. It wasn’t the type of hug you would’ve expected from her—no witty comment or sarcastic remark—but something real, something unspoken.

“I’m sorry,” she murmured softly, holding you a moment longer than you anticipated. “If Jason shows up here again I swear I will kill him with my own hands. Sorry for thinking he was better than Noah. He's an ass."

You stood there for a moment, unsure whether to laugh or cry. But all you could do was let yourself be held, just for a moment.

In the days that followed, things shifted in a way that felt unsettlingly quiet, like a weight pressing down on you. Jason never showed up at the café again, and you didn’t see him even once, despite working just across the street.

You were kind of relieved.

But what was truly breaking you was Noah’s absence.

And you missed Luna too. It was a sharper ache than you'd anticipated, you never thought you would become so attached to a three year old.

You missed making up silly bedtime stories to help her fall asleep, hearing her little giggles as she tried to weave together her own, completely nonsensical tales. You missed how her face would light up with excitement whenever Noah would do something small for her.

She had always been the bright, lively part of your evenings, and without her, everything seemed duller. You missed seeing Noah be so gentle and sweet with her, the way he’d always make sure she felt cared for and loved. It hurt to know that you wouldn't see that again.

Work was different now, too. You could feel it—how much more distracted you were, how your mind kept drifting back to Noah, to Luna, to the empty space in your life that you couldn't seem to fill. You tried to focus, to get through your shifts, but it was like trying to move through thick mud. Everything felt slower, harder, as if the weight of the world had settled squarely on your shoulders. But Grace... Grace was different, too.

She could see it, even though she didn’t say much. She didn’t make a big deal out of your distraction, didn’t call you out on it like she might have before. There was an unspoken understanding between the two of you. It was as if she knew that you were barely holding it together and didn’t need to hear a snide remark or a sarcastic comment.

Instead, Grace seemed to give you space. She watched you, but not in a judgmental way. When you stumbled over your words while taking an order, when your thoughts wandered too far off track, she didn’t make it harder.

There was no passive-aggressive comment, no mocking smile. She just let you be. It wasn’t the support you would have expected from someone like her, but you appreciated it more than anything.

You were starting to think Grace wasn't that bad, after all.

But still, no matter how many times you forced yourself to focus, no matter how many breaths you took to calm your racing thoughts, there was a constant hum in your mind, a reminder that Noah wasn’t there, that Luna wasn’t there, that your world had irrevocably shifted.

You would look out the window occasionally, seeing the world moving on outside, while you stood still, trapped in your own sadness, trying to figure out what to do next. You weren’t sure what to expect from the days ahead, whether things would feel better or worse. But right now, everything felt so heavy—too heavy to move forward, yet too necessary to stay where you were. The truth was, you were just trying to survive the days, to make it through until something changed, though you weren't sure what that change would look like or when it would come.

But at least you had work. It gave you something to do, something to occupy your mind, even if only for a few hours. When you walked into the café each morning, the smell of freshly brewed coffee and baked pastries filled the air, and for a fleeting moment, it almost felt like things could be normal again. Almost.

Every time someone entered and you heard the little bell jingle on top of the door, you almost imagined seeing Noah enter holding Luna's hand, ready to order a tea for him and some cookies for Luna.

The days seemed to blur together and they became two full, long weeks. You were going through the motions, but everything felt muted, like the world was happening around you while you were stuck.

It was another early afternoon when Grace approached you in the café. You were leaning against the counter, wiping down a table, when she walked up to you, her arms crossed and eyes focused, a serious look on her face.

“So, what’s your plan?” she asked, her voice softer than usual, but with an edge that made it clear she wasn’t asking about your work schedule.

You blinked, caught off guard. You hadn’t really thought about it. What was your plan? How were you supposed to move forward from here, when everything felt like it was falling apart?

You let out a breath, leaning against the counter as you thought about her question. “What should I do?” you replied, the words coming out in a soft, helpless tone.

Grace didn’t hesitate. “Honey, you love him,” she said, her voice almost gentle despite her tough exterior. “As much as I’ve never been a fan of your rockstar boyfriend, you know I don’t hate him. Seeing you like this... it’s depressing.”

You stared at her, not sure if you wanted to feel grateful for her honesty or irritated. But the words hit harder than you expected. She wasn’t wrong. Noah had been a huge part of your life, and seeing him gone felt like a part of you had been ripped out, leaving a raw, empty space. But hearing someone else acknowledge that hurt made it all the more real.

Grace continued, a slight frown crossing her face. “So, what’s your plan? Just sit here and let this eat you up?”

You swallowed, feeling the lump in your throat return. “He left me,” you muttered, your voice shaky. “He didn’t let me talk. He didn’t believe a single word I said. I can’t do anything.”

Grace’s eyes softened, a hint of frustration in them. “Have you tried talking to his friends? Or... I don’t know... doing something? If you really love him, don’t give up. Don’t just let this be the end of it.”

The words felt like a slap in the face, but not in a bad way. You knew Grace wasn’t the type to coddle anyone, but there was something in her voice, something genuine that made you feel like maybe you weren’t as alone as you thought.

“I just want him to be happy,” you said, the words tasting bitter on your tongue. “And if this means... if this means I have to let him go—”

“No,” Grace cut in, her tone firm, no room for argument. “Noah was happy with you. You don’t just throw that away because of some misunderstanding or some stupid argument. You have to do something.”

Her words rang in your ears, echoing louder than you’d like. You didn’t want to fight. You didn’t want to push Noah, not when it seemed like he was done with you. But what if she was right? What if there was something more to say, something more to fight for?

“I don’t know what to do,” you said quietly, your voice breaking. “I’ve tried. I don’t know how to make him believe me.”

Grace stepped closer, her voice dropping to something quieter, more sincere. “You don’t know until you try. But don’t just sit there and let him slip away. You’ll regret it.”

You took a deep breath, the weight of her words pressing on you. Maybe she was right.

"I don't want to regret it," you whispered, almost to yourself.

Grace gave a sharp nod, as if she’d been expecting that answer. “Then do something. If you love him, fight for him. Don’t give up.”

For a moment, neither of you spoke. You could feel the weight of her words settling on your shoulders, but there was a flicker of hope inside you that had been buried for so long. Maybe there was still a chance. Maybe you could fix things. Maybe this wasn’t the end.

As you turned back to the counter, Grace’s words kept echoing in your mind: Don’t give up.

But how could you fix that mess when it was all your fault?

Noah hadn’t been able to focus on anything since the day you walked away. He felt like he was suffocating, a weight pressing down on his chest that he couldn’t shake off, no matter how many times he tried to breathe through it. He couldn’t bring himself to leave the house most days, his feet heavy as though they were cemented to the floor, each step a battle he couldn’t win.

He spent most of his time in bed, or just leaving the house to drop Luna at daycare and to go take her, staring at the ceiling, his mind replaying the last few moments with you over and over again.

When Luna was around, he tried to be strong. He put on a mask of normalcy for her, making sure she had her breakfast, getting her dressed for school, pretending that everything was okay for her sake.

But he felt like he was falling apart a second time.

His heart was fractured, shattered in a way he hadn’t known was possible, and no matter how hard he tried to keep it together, the cracks were starting to show. When Luna asked about you—"Is she coming over today, Daddy?"—his heart twisted. He would force a smile, brushing it off, telling her you were busy or that it would happen soon, but inside, he was dying.

Every time he saw her light up with excitement, every time she innocently mentioned something that reminded him of you, it was like another piece of him was ripped away.

One of the worst things was that this time, somehow, it hurt even more than when Hannah left him.

He hated himself for it. He hated that he couldn’t let go of the anger, of the hurt. He told himself that he was right, that the pictures, the situation with Jason, it all pointed to something he couldn’t ignore.

But at night, when the house was silent and Luna was asleep, he could feel the emptiness gnawing at him. He would lie in bed, wide awake, staring into the dark, his thoughts too loud, his mind too restless. It was the worst kind of silence—the one that stretched on for hours and reminded him of how alone he really was.

He couldn’t remember the last time he had eaten a full meal. He didn’t have an appetite, not after everything that had happened. The fridge was only full of things he knew Luna was going to eat.

He ate when he had to, but it wasn’t the food that kept him alive—it was the idea that somehow, maybe, he could make it through. But every day, he found himself sinking deeper, each minute dragging him further down. He wasn’t sure if he even deserved to be happy. He had pushed you away, let his insecurities and jealousy get the best of him. And now, he was left with nothing.

Had you really cheated on him? Or had something else happened? Did you still love Jason?

He was starting to think that maybe it had all been in his head all along. That maybe he had overreacted. That maybe you had always loved him. That the fear of being left had pushed him to the point of telling you to leave before you could.

He stayed in bed in silence.

No music. No TV. No distractions. It felt wrong to even try to pretend like things were okay. His usual escape—anime, movies, his guitar—none of it seemed to matter anymore. It all felt so meaningless without you in his life.

The only thing that brought any comfort, even if it was fleeting, was Luna’s presence. When she was with him, he could almost forget about the mess he’d created. She had this way of making the world feel smaller, easier to handle, even if just for a little while.

But once she was asleep, it was back to the silence. And with the silence came the thoughts he couldn’t escape. What had he done? Why hadn’t he trusted you? The truth clawed at him every time he closed his eyes, a brutal reminder of the mistake he had made. He had pushed you out of his life, and now all he could do was wonder if it was too late to fix it. Would you even want him back? He didn’t know, and the uncertainty gnawed at him.

His dark circles grew darker. His face looked worn, tired. Even when he forced himself to get up in the mornings, to take Luna to daycare or go through the motions of the day, he could feel the weight of it all dragging him down. No matter what he did, no matter how much he tried to busy himself, there was this hole in his chest that wouldn’t go away. That only you could fill.

And then, there were the dreams. Night after night, he dreamt of you. Sometimes it was sweet—a memory of the two of you laughing, Luna running around in the background, her giggles ringing out or a moment spent together during the night, the feeling of your lips caressing his skin and your hands tracing every single tattoo that covered his body all too real. Other times, it was a nightmare, your face twisted in hurt, the look in your eyes that told him he had destroyed everything. He’d wake up sweating, heart racing, only to realize that none of it was real.

He didn’t know how to fix this. He didn’t know if he could. But as much as he hated to admit it, he knew that he couldn’t keep living in this limbo. The thought of letting you go, of walking away from everything you’d built together, was unbearable. He loved you. He always had. And he hated himself for the way things had turned out.

But how could he fix that mess when it was all his fault?

Noah hadn’t been answering his phone for days, so the guys finally decided to drop by and check on him, but when they knocked on the door, they heard no response.

"I swear if he doesn't open the door I'll break it down." Matt said.

"I'm pretty sure there's no need, King Kong." Folio laughed as he took the copy of the house keys from his pocket.

When they got inside, the whole house seemed was dark and quiet, almost like no one was there.

They found Noah lying in bed, his head buried under a mountain of pillows, his body curled up like he was trying to disappear. The others exchanged uneasy glances, standing awkwardly by the doorway for a moment. None of them knew what to say.

Nicholas was the first to break the silence.

“Dude, you okay?”

No response.

Jolly stepped forward and leaned against the wall, arms crossed. “You haven’t answered any of our calls for days, man. What the hell is going on?” He asked with a hint of concern.

They had all seen the pictures that had been posted on Twitter but Noah hadn't said anything about what happened after they returned from the show.

Noah didn’t move. He just stayed there, his face hidden from them.

Matt scratched his head, his face a mix of confusion and worry. “C'mon, man, what happened with Y/N?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” came the muffled reply from under the pillows.

There was a long pause, and the band members just stood there, unsure of how to respond. They weren’t used to seeing Noah like this. Or at least, the last time they'd seen him like this was after Hannah had left. And this was not a good sign.

"C'mon man. Talk to us." Nicholas tried again.

But Noah didn’t even flinch. He just stayed there, his body heavy and unmoving. The silence stretched on.

Finally, Folio spoke again, his voice a little firmer now, but still gentle. “Noah... dude, you can’t just shut us out like this. We are here because we care, okay?"

Noah sighed, a long, tired exhale, and slowly, he pulled his head from under the pillows, just enough for his face to show. His eyes were bloodshot, his skin pale, and he looked... well, he looked like he hadn’t slept in days.

“Go away,” Noah muttered, barely lifting his head off the bed. “I’m fine.”

Matt pointed his hands at him. “Fine? Is this fine? Dude, you look like a zombie."

Nicholas looked over at the others, his face full of worry. “Maybe we should just let him be,” Jolly suggested quietly, clearly out of his depth with how to handle this.

But Folio wasn’t ready to let Noah retreat that easily. He walked over to the bed, sitting down at the edge and looking at him seriously. “Noah, listen. We’re not leaving until you tell us what’s going on. It’s not just about the band. It’s about you. We’re worried, alright?”

Noah didn’t answer. He just closed his eyes and seemed to sink deeper into the bed, his body still tense with whatever weight he was carrying.

“Come on, Noah,” Matt said, “We can’t help you if you won’t talk to us.”

For a moment, it seemed like Noah wasn’t going to say anything. The room felt heavy, filled with tension.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Noah lifted his head, staring at them with a look of exhaustion. “I don’t know what to say. Everything’s messed up, okay? I’m messed up. Y/N left and I- I just wanna rot here now.”

Folio softened, finally understanding the depth of the pain Noah was in. “You’re not messed up, man,” he said quietly, his voice a little more comforting. “What happened?"

Noah looked away, staring at the wall, as if trying to escape his own thoughts. The band stayed quiet, letting him have the space he needed, but not leaving.

“Just... give me some time,” Noah muttered, his voice barely above a whisper. “I’m not ready to deal with any of it yet.”

"Noah. It's been almost two weeks." Jolly added.

"Well, I obviously need more than two weeks, then."

The guys exchanged a look. They knew they couldn’t force him to open up, but they also knew they wouldn’t give up on him.

“Alright, we’ll give you time,” Nicholas said softly, “but just know we’re here when you’re ready.”

Noah didn't answer, he just sank his head into his pillow again.

"You need help with Luna? Need anything?" Nicholas added.

"It's fine." Noah mumbled.

They lingered for a few more moments, before finally, one by one, they made their way out of the room, leaving Noah to whatever thoughts he had left.

As the door clicked shut behind them, the soft hum of the outside world filled the empty space left between the guys. They stood on the porch, the cold air biting at their skin. There was an uncomfortable silence between them, each of them lost in their own thoughts.

Folio shoved his hands into his jacket pockets, staring down at the ground. "I don’t get it,” he said, shaking his head. “What do you think he meant? ‘Y/N left’... I mean... they were in love. Like... I know her."

Matt shook his head. "Honestly, when I saw those photos, I thought she was cheating on him. Her letting another guy into Noah's house in the middle of the night? What do you think?"

"That’s what I’m saying." Folio’s jaw clenched. “That's impossible. But if Noah won’t give us answers, then I’ll go to the one person who might have them.”

It was just past closing time when Folio parked his car outside the coffee shop, as you locked the door chatting with your colleague—a girl with long, dark hair and sharp eyes. He didn't remember her name.

As he started walking toward you, another figure appeared behind him— a guy with spiked hair, wearing a Sex Pistols t-shirt and black boots.

"Hey, I need to talk to you," the guy said when he reached you, just a moment before he did.

Folio, standing just a few feet away, didn’t wait. He stepped forward, just as the guy did, his voice cutting through the moment with an urgency that mirrored the guy’s.

“We need to talk too,” Folio said, his words almost overlapping with the stranger’s.

When you heard the two guys' voices, you and the other girl turned in unison.

You glanced back and forth between them, confusion flashing across your face. “Um… one at a time, guys,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady.

The guy with the spiked hair raised an eyebrow but smiled, as if the situation was more amusing than anything. “Well, seems like we’re both in line for a conversation,” he said, glancing at Folio.

Folio didn’t take his eyes off of you. “It’s important,” he said, his voice firm.

"Well, what I have to say is important too."

Then, you looked at the guy with the spiky hair. "Hey! I know you. You punched Jason that day!"

"You did what?" Folio raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, so it was him!" The girl with black hair spoke.

"Yeah. It was me. But hey, he paid me."

There was a brief moment of silence, all eyes on that weird guy, and then, you all spoke at the same time.

"You did what?"

"He paid you?"

"Wait. What the hell are you all talking about?"

The guy grinned. "See? We all need to have a good talk. Is the café still open? I love cakes."

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