#But Harry is happy with his PadDad and Moonpa

[hpdabbles]

The Benefits of Marriage

“Want to get married?”

Remus jerks his head upwards distantly aware of the crack that comes from his neck. Across from him, Sirius bounces Harry on his knee not even looking at him. He’s making faces for the toddler who giggles in glee, clapping his tiny hands at his godfather.

Did he...image that? 

The werewolf’s hands shake as he tries to act casual. He reaches for the sugar container fingers curling around the ridiculous glass bulldog set Sirius insisted on. It's a familiar weight, so familiar Remus often wonders when Sirius’  house became home.

Sometime after the Potters’ funeral maybe. Marlin did that thought still hurt. It burned, in a deep aching open-wound way. James was one of his best mates, maybe the first of the Marauders to try to break through Remus’ walls. Certainly, the first of all his classmates to offer a nervous shy kid a smile, curled with mischevious intent but friendly and inviting. 

Sirius and Pettigrew came afterward, trailing behind the then Potter heir and the best years of his life began. When the War broke out and the Order of Phoniex rose Remus was terrified they wouldn’t be able to get off the battlefield together, that while he was fighting for his life one of the Marauders would fall.

He wanted them all to see the end of that awful war. Wanted his family to live. His parents cared for him but he knew deep down they hated his wolf side, knew they could never get past it. Remus didn’t feel as loved as he did with the Marauders, they may not have been blood but they were family, pack. 

He was closer to them then he ever was to his parents. He mourns James more than his own father, wasn’t that just sad?

He just wanted them to see peace, to watch Harry grow up without the fear of raids, disappearances or bloody battles. They almost did, made it through nearly all the years when the Potters had to go into hiding and a suspected spy broke the Order’s sense of security. 

Remus hates himself a little for suspecting Sirius, to have the nerve. 

In the end, James and Lily didn’t get to see the peace after the war. Pettigrew betrayed them, and the couple will never see Harry grow up. Luckily Sirius would be there for the boy, but a small part of him knew that his best mate would never be over James’ death.

It was a secret the two shared, one night after James recited some poetry of Lily’s hair. Sirius had clapped his back, grinning ear to ear but entirely fake, when he finished reading. Remus hadn’t been the only one to notice but he was the only one that knew why. Padfoot had climbed into his bed later that night when the other two were asleep and confessed his secret: He was in love with James. 

Remus had told him, in turn, he liked females and thought of smooching males sometimes, maybe when the lighting hit certain guys just right. Sirius had a laugh with tears streaming down his face claiming it was not the same thing but thanks Lupin.

 It was their secret.

The one they kept all throughout Hogwarts, through James and Lily’s wedding and through the funeral. Remus wasn’t sure if Sirus ever told someone else but he got the impression he was the only one who knew about the pureblood’s feelings for James. 

Now a year after, the two had been slowly rebuilding their lives. There not be a week where Remus wasn’t around the Black household. It really was home in a way, he supposes. 

“Remus?” Sirius says finally getting Harry to eat his carrots. The three-year-old munches on them while pretending to be a dragon and Remus’ heart melts a little.  

“Yes?”

“Want to get married?”  

The werewolf blinks  “What?”

Harry throws a hand up, always eager to join in conversations with a cheerful question  “PadDad? Will Moonpa be your wife?”

Moonpa? When did Harry start calling him that!? He knew about PadDad since Sirius nearly broke his ears with the screech he released the first time Harry uttered it but he never heard the little pup give him a nickname. 

His cheeks are turning a rapid hue of red he knows it but he can’t seem to get his jaw to get off the floor nor get his tongue to work. 

Sirius rubs Harry’s hair, ignoring Remus’ little flattered embarrassment  “Well not a wife. Moonpa would be called my husband.” 

“Why?”

“Remus is a man, and when a man gets married, he’s called a husband.”

“Why?”

“I’m not too sure. It’s just how it is.” Sirius shrugs taking Harry’s question seriously as he struggles to think of an answer. “I think it’s so they can tell if someone is a boy or a girl.”

“Oh. That’s stupid.” Harry is quick to say wrinkling his nose  “They can just ask if someone is a boy.”

“It is” The older man laughs. At that moment the light hits him just right, reflecting off the blue cabinets of the kitchen, highlighting his features. Sirius home is very muggle with small barely there hints of magic, sort of reminding Remus of his own childhood house, but it’s warm and wild as the man who owns it. 

This, right here, is why Remus often finds himself coming over so much.

The pureblood is so patient with the little one, so caring and attentive. He’s a good godfather, loves Harry like his own, and sometimes just watching them is worth all the struggle he goes through.   

The invention of Wolfbane made things easier, sure, but he was a second class citizen. There are some days where he wonders if he will ever be able to find a job. He is qualified but he can’t be caught as a creature, he would lose so many rights and thus he’s reduced to searching for low paying, hard working odd jobs.

 “So Moonpa will be your husband?”  Harry asks bitting his little carrot sticks with wide green eyes.  “Does that mean he will live here?”

“Well...” Sirius starts eyes catching Remus’ startled ones. There is a strange emotion in them, one he can’t identify. For a moment neither say anything until Sirius gently tells Harry to bring the drawing he made for the werewolf.

Recently the toddler has gotten into art and shoots off to his room eager to show the newest piece. As he runs up the stairs Sirius calls out a quick “Careful! No running!” before he rests his chin in his hands studying the man across from him with that Black intensity that makes any person uneasy.

Remus has yet to speak because that intensity usually makes him hot under the collar. Makes words hard in his youth when he first notices the lighting on Sirius, makes them harder now when the spotlight never seems to move away from his best mate nowadays.

He only ever wants to kiss a bloke when the lighting hits them just right doesn’t he?

“So the silence is not a yes but it’s not a no either Moony”  

Unbelievably, this makes him irritated, breaking him out of that dazed admiring.  “What do you want me to say Padfoot? Marriage? Out of nowhere? We aren’t even dating!”

“We’re not.” Dark locks bob in a nod and the werewolf curls his hands on the table. Otherwise, he would do something stupid, like reach out and pat down the little patch that sicks up. “But no one knows that. We act like we do anyway. What with you spending so much time here, going to eat with us in public, the way Harry adores you and the fact we’ve been attached to the hip since the second year. It wouldn’t be much of a surprise if we married I reckon.”

“People talk,” He says heart hammering away and utterly off balance  “doesn’t mean we jump into a marriage if that’s all they assume!”

Sirius flashes him a smile. “Since when have I ever cared what people say? No, I want to marry you. No one is peer pressuring me into this.”

Oh. 

Something must have shown on his face because his friend cools his expression into something more serious. Upstairs they can hear Harry padding around, likely distracted with a toy or unable to locate the drawing.  “Remus I thought this through the other night and realize something that’s been staring at me since the fourth year.”

Heat pools into his stomach and Remus can barely breathe. He knows. He knows about his feelings for him. How? The half-blood has always been careful, tip-toeing around the urges to reach out and touch, to look away before the affection in his gaze turn too big. 

Sirius leans forward like he’s about to go over the table. Remus wonders if he’s planning on kissing him, and the brown hair man wishes he could have at least check his breath.  

Teenager Remus would have died if his crush had kissed him while he had bad breath. Hell Adult Remus may as well self combust. 

Did this mean Sirius liked him romanticly too-  “Tax benefits”

“What?”

“Tax benefits” The other repeats “We would get good ones. You get citizenship too.”

“What?”

Sirius shakes his head as if it’s Remus being odd. He’s not the one that throws a normal light lunch into the gutter without of left field marriage ideas!  “We get married, by Pureblood laws that would take you off the Creature Listing, especially if it’s into a Noble and Acenint house. I get a break on my taxes and Harry gets a second guardian in case anything happens to me. Everyone is happy.” 

“Wait, wait, wait” shaking his hands, he tries not to pay attention to the utter anguish that rips through his chest. “You want to get married for the benefits?”

“Yeah.”

There is a lure in the conversation before a hissed “Fucking dammit Black.”  breaks the air.  

Remus isn’t sure if he’s going to cry or punch the idiot across from him. Sirius looks utterly confuse, what fucking nerve. He stands so quickly his chair falls over, rage gripping his insides into something raw.  “Did you seriously think I would marry for benefits!?”

“Wait you didn’t hear all of them”  Sirius tries to say backpedaling when he realizes he upset him.

“I don’t care-”

“One of the benefits is my love.” And just like that, the wind in Remus’ sails die as he gapes.  Sirius turns a bright red, flustered in a way he’s never seen before but he keeps eye contact. “I do. Have for years but it’s been more..intense this last one. I love you, Remus. I want to marry you. I want to build a life together. I want to raise Harry together. Maybe we can even blood adopt later on too. I love you and I think you love me...so please...marry me?”

Oh.

“I also want tax breaks”

Oh, he’s going to hex him.

It’s no surprise that two months later Remus is staring in a mirror at himself wearing a white suit wondering for the life of him, why he didn’t demand a better proposal. Sirius gave in to a Muggle-style wedding maybe he would be okay to be more romantic. 

At least Harry was happy to be the ring bearer. Cute, pup walking around in his little suit and waving at everyone who looks his way with a bright smile. Now, he’s charming. Unlike his godfather. 

“Grow up to be a heart breaker, Harry. Better one then your PadDad.”

The little one nods his head, seriously taking the command at face value. “Okay, Moonpa. I’ll be better”

That’s his boy.