#Bucky is based off that Skin edit I made . Those whos nose

[directorlyric]

Forgot to post Gov Winterfrost WHOOPS

[olivemac]

1300 miles | chapter four | b.b.

Summary | Bucky Barnes is adjusting to civilian life, living in Brooklyn, visiting Sam in Delacroix when he can, and trying to figure out what he wants. When he meets Jo Landry, the tattooed lead singer of a New Orleans-based band, he thinks he might have found the answer. Too bad they live 1300 miles apart.

Time Frame | post-TFATWS

Pairing | Bucky Barnes x fem!oc

Rating | explicit

Warnings | mentions of combat-related injuries, alcohol use, tattoos/body piercings, coarse language, gay male character, bisexual female character, recreational/medicinal drug use (weed), pet names (doll, pretty girl, Sarge), smut [f/m, mutual masturbation, fingering, oral sex (f receiving), PIV, slight dom!Bucky, praise kink, very slight somnophilia], minor angst, and all the romance tropes/fluff because I'm a sucker for it; more warnings to come; 18+ ONLY, minors DNI

Tags | @mrs--barnes

Citation | Vernon, Justin, Dessner, Aaron, Mitchell, Anaïs. “Latter Days.” How Long Do You Think It’s Gonna Last? Jagjaguwar/37do3d, 2021.

A/N | This only took 800 years to finish. Sorry for the wait. Hope it’s worth it. Xoxo

A/N, pt. 2 | Made some very minor edits to the previous chapters – nothing that changes storyline, etc.

series master list | AO3 link | full master list

🎶 1300 miles playlist 🎶

_____

previous chapter

_____

After breakfast, Bucky returns the borrowed motorcycle to Sam and grabs his backpack from Sarah's house. Sam only badgers him about if for a few minutes.

"So, you're abandoning us for Jo?" he asks Bucky teasingly.

Bucky grunts in reply. "It's not like that," he says.

“I get it,” Sam shrugs. “After eighty years, you’re finally getting some.” Bucky glares at him. “Just remember, bros before hoes,” Sam concludes, laughing and clapping Bucky on the back. Then he adds, "Don't tell Jo I said that."

Bucky's been debating how much he should reveal when he finally says, "I really like her, Sam."

Sam smiles. "Good," he says. "You deserve someone who makes you happy."

Bucky returns the smile.

"Come on," Sam says, "I've got errands to run in town. I'll drop you back at Jo's place." Bucky tosses his backpack into the bed of Sam's truck as Sam tells him, "Just remember, we promised AJ and Cass we'd take 'em out on the boat on Saturday morning."

"I'll be there," Bucky says.

_____

Bucky stays with Jo for the next two days, wearing sweats during the day while he lounges in her apartment – something he isn't used to, just lounging – and sitting alone at the end of the bar at night, watching her serve drinks with Danny.

They're inseparable for those 48 hours. There's an impending deadline – a sense that they need to fit everything they can into the next few days before Bucky returns to New York.

He slips out of her bedroom Thursday morning, still smiling from the night before, to find her practicing yoga in her living room. Bucky stops and leans against the wall to watch Jo move from one pose to the next, his eyes lingering on her hips and backside. When she moves into downward dog, she spots him from between her legs.

“Morning,” Jo says, sinking deeper into the pose and working to keep her feet flat against the mat. She notices the smirk on Bucky’s face. “Enjoying the view?” she asks.

His smirk only grows. "I am."

She walks her hands across the mat to meet her feet and stands. Before she can turn around, Bucky is behind her, his front pressed against her back and his hands on her hips.

"Best part of the twenty-first century," he says, "is skimpier clothing." His thumbs rub upward across the soft skin of her exposed belly until they're moving beneath the band of her sports bra.

Jo laughs and turns in his arms. "Not the medical or technological advancements?"

"Nope," Bucky says, "definitely this." He pops the band of her sports bra with his thumbs, then pulls her even closer, one hand sliding down her back.

"Breakfast?" she asks.

Bucky hums. "I'd rather eat something else," he says with a smirk, leaning down to press a kiss against her neck.

Jo laughs loudly. "No," she exclaims, "you can't expect sex after you say something so cringeworthy."

Regardless, she lets Bucky lower her to her yoga mat and hover over her prone body.

"You were saying?" he smirks against her lips before kissing her.

Jo hums and snakes her arms around Bucky's neck, pulling him closer. His lips move across her jaw and collarbone down to the tops of her breasts. Bucky pushes her sports bra up carefully to reveal her breasts before taking a nipple between his teeth. Jo scratches her short nails across his scalp and holds him to her chest. He worries his tongue over the hard peak and around the barbell ends on each side of her nipple.

“Bucky,” Jo sighs, arching her back.

Bucky smiles against the skin of her stomach as he kisses lower. He likes hearing his name on her lips. After not having control of himself for so long, he likes that he has this small amount of power over someone else, this ability to make Jo fall apart so easily.

He peels her leggings and underwear down and off before lowering his face between her thighs. He blows warm air across her cunt, making her tremble.

"Open your legs a little more," Bucky says, pressing his large hands against the inside of her thighs. "Good girl," he praises as her legs fall further apart. Jo sighs again as Bucky looks up at her. "You're beautiful like this, doll," he says. Then he licks a thick stripe across her folds.

Jo keens and her back arches off the mat. His tongue meets her clit as his hands grip her thighs, holding her open. Jo reaches down and cords her fingers through his thick hair, pulling slightly. Bucky moans against her cunt and continues to circle his tongue across her clit before sucking it between his lips. Jo rocks her hips against Bucky's face, and he reaches up to take her hips in his hands and guide her movements. She pulls his hair again, harder this time, and Bucky grunts. He alternates his movements against her clit until she's coming hard against his face.

"Bucky," Jo moans, her mouth falling open.

Bucky pulls back and slides up her body. When he kisses her, she can taste herself on his lips. She snakes her hand into his hair and holds him close against her mouth, kissing him deeper.

"Favorite meal," Bucky smirks when they finally break apart.

"That's it," Jo says, laughing and pushing at his shoulders, "leave. Get out. Go." She points to the door.

Bucky laughs. "You wouldn't," he says, with mock hurt in his voice, as his fingers tickle against her sides.

Jo squeals and squirms against his onslaught. "Fine, fine," she shrieks, laughing, "you can stay! But no more of that!"

"What? No more of this?" Bucky laughs. He rolls onto his back, pulling Jo on top of him to straddle his face, and rips another two orgasms from her before he finally releases her, helps her redress, and follows her to the kitchen to start breakfast.

_____

In the late afternoon, before the bar is set to open, Jo takes her guitar out onto the balcony to practice. After a while, Bucky sets down the book he was reading and joins her. He watches cars and pedestrians pass below them on the street while Jo plays a song with a sleepy pace and melancholy lyrics on lost innocence. Bucky thinks it sounds pretty in Jo's soft tone.

Stacked yourself against the odds

Talking back to an act of God

You and your clever mouth

You were laughing when the lights went out

When Jo finishes and sets her guitar aside, Bucky pulls her chair closer to his and leans in to kiss her, cupping both her cheeks softly in his hands.

"What was that for?" she asks, smiling.

Bucky shakes his head, then says, "Sam said you had a record deal."

"So, you and Sam were talking about me, were you?" she teases.

Bucky looks sheepish, but Jo just smiles.

“Yeah, I had a record deal. Years ago. In Nashville. Then Danny got hurt, and we didn’t know for a while if he was going to make it or have long-term complications or what. So, I came home. He got better. We bought the bar. I still get to do what I love, and I get to be with the people I love,” she shrugs.

Bucky can sense a "but" coming.

“But…Danny blames himself for me not following my dreams. When the truth is, even if he hadn’t gotten hurt, I would have come home. I had an ex tell me once that I'm only happy when I'm failing." She rolls her eyes.

"And now?" Bucky asks.

“I’m just waiting to fuck this up,” she whispers.

Bucky snorts. "If anyone is going to fuck this up, it'll be me, doll," he replies. "I'm a 107-year-old ex-assassin who can barely use a smart phone and hasn't dated in eighty years."

Jo cocks her head to the side and says, "We could fuck this up to together?"

Bucky smiles. "Deal." Then he kisses her, his hand cupping the back of her head and his tongue sweeping into her mouth.

_____

When things are slow at the bar on Thursday night, Jo grabs her guitar and plays an acoustic set for the small crowd of regulars. Bucky watches from his seat at the end of the bar top, nursing his beer. The thought that this is somehow all too good to be true, that he doesn't deserve Jo or any of this, creeps back into his mind. He takes another sip of beer and clenches his vibranium fist, willing the thought away. By the time Jo's eyes sweep the bar to meet his, the thought is gone.

He follows her up to her apartment after closing time, and when the door is locked behind them, he pushes her up against it, his arms on either side of her head, caging her in. He takes a moment to admire her, her green eyes shining with a mixture of amusement and lust. He leans down and nudges his nose against hers, his breath soft against her lips.

“You gonna be good for me, doll?” he whispers.

Jo nods.

“Say it,” Bucky says, his voice dark.

“Gonna be so good for you, Buck,” Jo whispers.

Bucky smashes his lips against hers, rough and demanding. Jo moans into Bucky's mouth. His kiss is all teeth and tongue, and his hands wander to her hips and down to her thighs to lift her into his arms. He doesn't stop kissing her until he has her on her bed.

Bucky presses hot kisses against Jo's neck, then tugs her faded Nirvana t-shirt up and over her head. The rest of their clothes follow quicky until they're both naked. Bucky kisses between the valley of her breasts and licks at the tattoo beneath her sternum before taking one nipple into his mouth. His flesh hand comes up to pluck at the other nipple, and Jo cries out. Bucky pulls his mouth from her breast with an obscene pop and scratches the stubble of his cheek across her tender flesh.

Jo's hands thread through Bucky's hair, and she tugs him back up to her mouth for a kiss.

"Thought you were gonna be good," Bucky mumbles against her mouth. Jo whines. She can feel him smirking.

His hand comes up to graze against her cheek, and he kisses her softly, taking his time now. He's demanding, but gentle, and Jo feels as if every inch of her heated skin is on fire. But she wants more.

"You can be rough with me, Sarge," she whispers.

"Yeah? You like it rough?" Bucky flips Jo over onto her stomach. "On your knees," he growls, pulling her hips up.

When she's on her knees in front of him, he uses his flesh hand to push her chest further into the mattress. His vibranium hand holds her hips in place as he slides into her without warning. Jo gasps and shudders.

“You look so good taking my cock like this,” Bucky praises. His grip on her hip tightens as he guides her back and forth over his cock before holding her still and slamming into her, setting a swift pace. Jo keens and her walls flutter around him.

"Harder," she gasps.

"What do you say?" Bucky warns through gritted teeth. His right hand moves upward to tangle into her hair, wrenching her head backwards.

Jo whines, "Please."

When he pulls himself almost completely from her body, then slams back in, Jo's eyes roll to the back of her head, and she sobs. She's consumed by the feel of him.

Bucky leans across Jo's back and whispers in her ear, “You’re doing so good, pretty girl.” His right hand slips down beneath her body to toy with her clit. "Fuck, you're so wet."

Jo cries out, and her body shakes. Bucky feels the way she tightens around him.

“I got you," he whispers against her ear, "I got you.” His soft tone clashes with his rough movements and makes Jo’s head spin.

Jo comes with a cry of his name, and it sends Bucky over the edge. His vibranium hand whirs as it clenches her hip, holding her still as he spills inside her with a low groan. He falls onto his side, pulling Jo with him and holding her tightly.

“I didn’t hurt you, did I?” he asks, his voice soft.

“Not at all,” Jo replies, squeezing his hand.

He presses gentle kisses against her shoulder until she slides from the bed to clean up. Then he slips into a dreamless sleep.

_____

Jo wakes Bucky up Friday morning with soft kisses across his jaw.

"Hmph," Bucky grunts, not ready to open his eyes.

"Danny and I are going for a run," Jo says. "Do you want to join us?"

Bucky cracks one eye open to look at her. "Why?"

"Because I like you, and I like spending time with you," she says, rolling her eyes.

The corner of Bucky's lip pulls up and he opens his other eye. "No," he says, "why are you going for a run?"

"Not everyone has the metabolism and stamina of a super soldier, Sarge," she says, poking him in the ribs. “Some of us need the exercise.”

"What's in it for me?" he asks.

Jo rolls her eyes again before answering. "You can run behind me and stare at my ass in tight leggings."

Bucky hums and slides his vibranium hand down Jo's back to cup her left buttock.

“How long do we have until this run?” he asks, letting his other hand trail up and down Jo’s right side.

“Half an hour,” she answers.

“Good,” Bucky says, rolling her onto her back and hovering over her as Jo laughs.

They end up being a few minutes late to meet Danny.

When they finally emerge from Jo’s apartment, Danny is standing at the bottom of the stairs with Greta. Jo reaches out and scratches the dog behind the ears.

“Morning,” Jo greets Danny.

Danny yawns before responding, “It is indeed.”

“Late night?” Jo asks.

Bucky doesn’t hear Danny’s response. He’s too caught up watching Greta sniff his vibranium hand. When she seems satisfied with her inspection, Bucky strokes the top of her head. There was a dog at the small farm where he stayed in Wakanda, and it was nice to have the company at night when his brain wouldn’t shut off and he kept reliving everything he had done as the Winter Soldier. He wonders if maybe he should get a dog. Or maybe a cat.

“Hey,” he hears Jo say from beside him.

He turns his head to find her watching him curiously.

“Where’d you go?” she asks. “Looked like you were stuck in your head.”

Bucky shakes his head and give her a reassuring smile. “I’m here,” he replies.

“Good,” Danny says, turning toward the door, “Because we’re not gonna take it easy on you on this run, Barnes.”

Bucky sees Jo roll her eyes and smirk behind Danny’s back.

“Oh yeah?” Bucky says. “How far are we running?”

Danny’s smirk mirrors Jo’s. “On Fridays, we run until we're hungry, and then we stop for beignets,” he says.

And that’s just what they do. They run three miles in the park before heading to a local cafe. Jo grabs a table for them on the patio while Danny pops inside to order after insisting on paying; Bucky joins him to help him carry their orders. Outside, Greta laps water from the cafe’s outdoor dog bowl, then curls up at Jo’s feet and waits for Danny to come back.

When Bucky and Danny join Jo at the table, their arms laden with plates of beignets and fruit and coffees in to-go cups, Bucky sits as close to Jo as he can. She's wearing an olive-colored sports bra and matching leggings, and she shivers in the cool early morning air. Bucky hesitates before shrugging out of his hoodie and handing it to her. Jo's smile and the sight of her dwarfed by his sweatshirt is worth exposing his arm in public.

Bucky's phone vibrates from the pocket of the hoodie Jo is now wearing. She pulls it out and hands it to him. It's a text from Sam: "Don't forget about Saturday morning."

Bucky responds, assuring Sam he'll be there, and sets his phone on the table next to his plate. Jo glances down and snorts.

"Why is Sam your phone background?" she laughs.

Bucky purses his lips. "He thought it was funny. And I haven't gotten around to changing it. I'm good with tech when it comes to covert missions, not," he holds the phone up, "this."

Jo laughs again and takes the phone from his hand. She holds it in front of his face to activate the facial recognition, and then opens the camera app and takes a picture of the two of them.

Danny reaches across the table for the phone. "Here," he says, and their breakfast shifts into a photoshoot that leaves them all in stitches from laughing so hard at their own antics. Even Greta gets pulled into some photos. At one point, Jo pulls a piece of hair from her ponytail across her upper lip like a mustache, and, for some unknown reason, Bucky suddenly thinks it's the funniest thing he's ever seen.

He probably has a hundred photos on his phone now, just from breakfast. He watches as Jo scrolls through them, and when he sees one of her laughing with her head thrown back, he says, "That one." Jo smiles and shows him how to set it as his background. Bucky takes his phone from her and looks at the picture again. It's perfect.

They're almost done with breakfast, and Bucky has forgotten about his bare arm when a teenage boy approaches their table.

"Hey man," the boy says to Bucky, "You're Sergeant Barnes, right? You work with Captain America? That's so cool, man," he says, barely taking a breath. His excited energy reminds Bucky of Peter Parker. "That shit with the Flag Smashers in New York," the kid continues, "that was crazy. You're, like, a real hero, man."

He moves closer to Bucky to snap a selfie, then holds his fist out, and Bucky knocks his own fist against it, hesitantly.

"Thanks," Bucky mumbles, not used to the praise.

"Tell Captain America it's cool he looks like me," the boy says, pointing to his skin, before heading inside the cafe.

Jo just smiles at Bucky, watching the blush creep down his neck, but Danny says, "You should start charging for pictures." Jo rolls her eyes, and Danny laughs. Bucky can see the similarities between the two of them, and for a moment, he misses his own sister.

"Ready to head out?" Danny asks, breaking Bucky from his thoughts.

"Yeah," Bucky says, standing, "yeah."

When they're two blocks from the bar, Jo slows down.

“My legs are sore. Carry me?” she pleads jokingly, and before she can argue that she was only kidding, Bucky's bending down in front of her and pulling her onto his back, guiding her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck. Jo laughs.

"You're going to spoil her," Danny says, but Bucky just smiles.

Inside her apartment, Jo pulls off Bucky's hoodie and returns it to him.

"Looked better on you," he says and kisses her gently. "I need to head back to Sarah's," Bucky continues. "Sam and I promised AJ and Cass we'd take them out on the boat tomorrow morning, bright and early."

"I'll drive you," Jo responds, and she's grabbing her keys before he can protest.

_____

Bucky returns to the bar on Saturday night with Sam in tow. Jo's band is playing, and the smile she gives him from the stage when he enters the bar makes up for Sam's constant teasing throughout the day. He likes watching her like this. She’s free, uninhibited, beautiful. Too good for me, he thinks. The thought has been creeping in more and more lately.

Later that night, after Sam has left and the bar has closed, Bucky lets Jo lead him up the stairs to her apartment and into her bedroom.

"Let me take care of you," she whispers, running her fingers beneath his t-shirt. Bucky nods and allows her to strip his clothes off before he helps her out of her own. Jo maps each scar on his body with her fingers and her mouth, and Bucky's heart swells at her tenderness.

She pushes him backward onto the bed and tries to take his cock in her mouth, but Bucky stops her. He's not ready to give up that control just yet, worried he won't be able to stop himself from being too rough with her. When she straddles his hips and sinks down on his cock, he holds her hips with his hands and guides her movements. He guides her own fingers to her clit and watches as she falls apart above him before flipping her onto her back and driving back into her. When he comes, it's with a shout of Jo's name, and he drops his head against her shoulder, panting.

As he holds her while she sleeps, the thought he's been having – that he doesn't deserve this – returns, and Bucky lays awake brooding.

When Jo wakes on Sunday morning, Bucky is gone.

_____

next chapter - coming soon

[anjalis-ennui]

emeralds and steel. (pt. 1)

                                       ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

a/n: hi! this is my bucky barnes x reader series! reader is afab and uses she/her pronouns in this! she is also born indian as i myself am indian and i don’t see enough indian representation, especially in fics. however, she knows many languages, so feel free to interpret her ethnicity as you see fit. i’m sorry for not posting anything over the past couple of days, as i was working on this! i hope you enjoy!

warnings: canon-typical violence, sexism, racism, implied racial slurs

tags: none so far, but if you would like to join the taglist, please fill out the taglist form!

summary: reader is a sorceress who was prophesized to be the host of the time stone. she has been alive since ancient greece and has been wandering the earth since. she cannot age nor die since she is now the body of an infinity stone. she was in the british royal military during the second world war, but didn’t see her strengths used well, so she signs up for the ssr: being shipped out to project rebirth with peggy carter.

                                      ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Rejected.”

“With all due respect, sir, I have been part of the British Royal Military far longer than you have had a job. I wish to join the Strategic Scientific Reserve, for which my resume is--to be honest--overqualified.”

“What would an Indian woman have to do with the British Royal Military? I find your story ineffably false.” The snooty man pushed his glasses up his nose and narrowed his eyes at her. Her tie was askew, her hair was all over the place, and her papers were in a bunch: only held together by her hands.

Just then, another woman walked by the desk, raising her eyebrows at the pair. “Don’t tell me you don’t recognize Lieutenant (l/n), Mr. Lowe. She’s got not one, but two doctorates in the sciences. I’d think she’s rather qualified for the SSR, regardless of her gender or race.” The man huffed and got up, storming off to who knows where. The woman smiled and held her hand out. “Agent Peggy Carter from the SSR. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Lieutenant.” 

(Y/n) smiled, furrowing her brows, and shook Peggy’s hand. “I’m surprised you know who I am.”

“Nonsense, I’ve followed your career since I joined the military. You’re somewhat of a legend around these parts. Now, the head of the SSR heard of your application and is assigning you to Project Rebirth as a supervisor alongside myself. Your doctorates in chemistry and neuroscience will help us quite a lot.” She started walking towards a side door, motioning for (y/n) to follow. “There’s a plane waiting to take us to Camp Lehigh. Do you have luggage with you?”

She shook her head as she followed the woman. “I’m a light traveler. When you’re a lieutenant with no family you tend to have no roots in society.” (Y/n) gave Peggy a half-smile, waving away her concerned look. “I’m fine, Agent Carter. I’ve survived this long, haven’t I?”

“Indeed you have,” she said pensively. How could someone so strong have no one to rely on? The lieutenant was the first woman to hold such a high rank in the military and have so many degrees for her age. She was young, beautiful, and smart: everything a man could want. She would be expected to have a husband and kids, and yet she had no family. The woman had seemed to hold a sense of sadness as she said this, but she seemed empathetic and lively. Peggy intended to be her friend, whether (y/n) wanted her to or not. Maybe then she could find out what made her tick...

                                               ∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

(Y/n) stepped into place beside Peggy as they observed the candidates. The men looked buff and ready to charge into battle, that is, all but one. The scrawny man, sorry, boy that trailed after the others seemed like he belonged in a toy wagon playing with the other children rather than Camp Lehigh. “Ready to scare them, Agent Carter?”

“Always, Lieutenant.” Peggy walked forward, revealing herself to the men. “Recruits, attention! Gentlemen, I’m Agent Carter. I supervise all operations for this division.” (Y/n) smiled serenely at them as she walked forward and stood next to the agent. “For those of you who may not know me, I am Lieutenant (l/n), the assistant supervisor for this division.”

“What’s with the accent, Queen Victoria? Thought I was signing up for the U.S. Army.” The soldier internally rolled her eyes at the remark. Men, the bane of her existence. “And what’s with this...lieutenant? Didn’t know we were letting ni-”

(Y/n) shot forward and put him into a chokehold. “I dare you to finish that sentence, soldier. I am not to be discriminated against just because my skin is darker than yours, and if such foul words are going to come from your mouth, I daresay that we should wash it out and string it up on a clothesline.” She let him go and turned to Peggy, giving her a closed-eyed smile. “Would you like to do the honors, Agent Carter?”

“Certainly, though I think you’ve scared him enough.” The agent punched him, sending him straight to the ground. “That’ll teach you to respect women and especially women of color.”

                                             ∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

"Faster, ladies! Come on. My grandmother has more life in her, God rest her soul. Move it!”

“You’re not really thinking about picking Rogers, are you?” Colonel Phillips walked beside Dr. Erskine and the lieutenant, frowning at them. They couldn’t possibly be thinking of picking the runt of the group for the experiment of the decade, could they?

“I am more than just thinking about it. He is the clear choice.”

“When you brought a ninety-pound asthmatic onto my army base, I let it slide. I thought, what the hell? Maybe he’ll be useful to you, like a gerbil. I never thought you’d pick him.”

“Steven has character, Colonel, something that most of our recruits don’t,” (Y/n) cut in. “Dr. Erskine is right. He is the clear choice.”

The colonel sighed as he watched Steve fail to catch up with the rest. “Look at that. He’s making me cry.”

Erskine’s thick German accent was tinged with fatigue, as if he had run a marathon. “We are looking for qualities beyond the physical.”

“Do you know how long it took to set up this project?”

“Yes, we know, Colonel--”

“All the groveling I had to do in front of Senator What’s-His-Name’s committees?”

“Brandt. And yes, we know.”

“Then throw me a bone. Hodge passed every test we gave him. He’s big, he’s fast, he obeys orders. He’s a soldier.”

“Let me stop you there,” the lieutenant held out a hand, effectively stopping him in his tracks. “Not only is Hodge racist and sexist, he is also arrogant and rude. He is a bully.”

“You don’t win wars with niceness.” He fished a grenade out of a box, holding it out so they could see. “You win them with guts.” Phillips threw the grenade at the recruits, yelling, “Grenade!” and standing by to watch.

To the trio’s amazement, Steve jumped onto the grenade, willing to sacrifice himself to save others. The two doctors looked at the colonel, each hiding a smile. “It was a dummy grenade,” he informed. “All clear. Back in formation.”

“Is this a test?”

Colonel Phillips ignored the soldier, and grumbled, “He’s still skinny.” To his chagrin, the two doctors were proven right. Steve would become the new super soldier, even though he was far too weak.

                                      ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

a/n: this was a lot of fun to write! expect a part 2 come up in a couple days to a week! oh, and if you’d like me to create a playlist for this series, i’d love to! in the meantime, i have another special surprise~

© jades-tea-shop 2021. please do not modify, edit, copy or reproduce any of the works published.

[ithehellisbucky]

Butterfly

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Requested: None

Word Count: 3k

Warnings: Fighting, angst, fluff, implied PTSD, trust issues, cussing 

Summary: It’s you and Bucky’s one year anniversary, and Bucky has some doubts about your feelings. Based on the song Happiness is a Butterfly by Lana Del Rey.

Author’s Note: I didn’t have time to edit this because I wanted to get it out to you guys, so sorry if there are any errors.

~

Do you want me, or do you not?

I heard one thing, now I'm hearing another

Today was the day. You and Bucky had officially been dating for a year. One year of happiness, despite many setbacks. You're not going to lie, Bucky's line of work scared the hell out of you. You were afraid of the Winter Soldier, but then you realized he wasn't the Winter Soldier. He was Bucky Barnes. 

Bucky was afraid of this relationship. Afraid of the weight it held in his life. He never said it out loud, only in his eyes. When he said he loved you there was fear written across his features. Not because he didn't mean it, but for fear that you wouldn't say it back.

At one point you thought that Bucky didn't want to be in a relationship with you, that he just wanted to love you. But then you came back to your senses and realized one very important thing: that just because something was hard for a person it didn't mean they didn't want it. 

Happiness is a butterfly

Try to catch it like every night

You were in your Volkswagen beetle, singing loudly to a song from the 30s with Bucky next to you. One hand on the steering wheel, the other outside the window. You belted out another verse as you look across to see Bucky singing his heart out, which causes you to burst out into a fit of giggles.

"What?" He asks, hearing the noise and turning around to face you. 

"Nothing, you were just singing loudly." You say through another chuckle. Bucky leans and presses a kiss to your temple, and you wondered why you had ever doubted that he wanted to be in this relationship.

You were driving to a field, in the middle of nowhere. It was pretty funny, you were driving past hundreds of fields, all to get to one field. Trespassing laws are messing with your head. 

It took another 15 minutes to reach your destination, and once you did... Well, it was less than you imagined. There was trash all over the ground, and it smelled of urine and alcohol. Your best guess was that some teenagers threw a party, as there was a long since abandoned grey truck with a keg shoved behind the steering wheel.

"Fuck." You mutter under your breath, kicking an empty beer bottle with your footing. After you kicked it, your realize you stubbed your toe, and let out another "fuck."

"You okay doll?" Bucky asks, walking over to you.

"This place is literal garbage." Bucky walks over to you, setting down the picnic basket and engulfing you in his large frame. 

"It might not be all garbage. It's probably not all garbage..." He looks over his shoulder, squinting to see something. "Half a mile."

Bucky entwines his hand in yours and begins to walk towards the direction he pointed. The sun was beating down, so you pulled out a sun-hat from the bag you were carrying that was full of blankets.

"Do you have one of those for me?" Bucky asks with a chuckle. You take off the hat and plop it onto Bucky's head.

I just wanna dance with you

Another ten or so minutes of walking left you in the middle of a field, no garbage in sight, sitting by a tree. Bucky set down the basket and reached his hands above his head, letting his back crack. You set down your bag and pull out the blankets, laying them down under the shade of the tree. 

"This is a nice spot, don't you think?" Bucky asks as he looks up into the sun.

"Yeah, not as good as the keg truck, but still pretty nice."

Bucky laughs and sets the basket down on the ground. He gently tackles, carefully making sure you land softly on the blanket, and that he doesn't put his full weight on your body. "You're amazing." He says as he presses a kiss to your nose.

"And your okay." You exclaim as you kiss his forehead. Bucky has a confused and hurt look on his face when he sits up. "I'm just kidding." You sit up to face Bucky. "You are the best person I've ever met." You through your arms around his neck and press a sloppy kiss onto Bucky's lips.

Bucky leans towards you, putting a hand on the ground behind you to stabilize the two of you. He deepens the kiss and slips his tongue into your mouth. You giggle and return the favor. You make out for another minute or two before pulling away uttering the words: "I'm hungry."

You sit up and Bucky opens the basket, handing you a sandwich. You take it out of the plastic bag and sink your teeth into it, wondering how a simple grilled cheese could be this delicious. "Mm, this is good." 

"Is it?" He asks, biting into the sandwich. "It is!" 

"Now aren't you happy I made them with brie?" You respond through a mouthful. 

"Definitely." You shift your weight onto your left hand as you lean back. You look back over to Bucky, seeing him with his legs in front of him hunched over his lunch.

Rays of sun were filtering their way through the branches of the trees, casting a glowing light onto Bucky. When you thought that everything was perfect, Bucky starts staring into the distance, a detached gaze in his eyes.

Looking into his eyes, I think he's already hurt

He's already hurt

"You okay baby?" You ask, placing your hand on his jawbone.

Bucky's head quickly snapped up to face you, and a smile promptly returned to his face. "Yeah, I'm fine."

You put on a fake smile and try to pretend that you're not concerned. Even though you are. You always are.

The sun dipped lower into the sky, the time went from twelve to one, to two, and then eventually to four. You were laying on you back, one hand in Buckys and the other on attempting to block your eyes from the sun's rays, which were carefully weaving themselves through the branches of the trees to hit your face.

"It's a really pretty day." Bucky rolls over to face you and you do the same.

"Not as pretty as you." He says as he leans in and kisses your nose. You giggle and put your hand on Bucky's cheek, as he grins.

"You kind of checked out a bit earlier is everything okay." Your tone sounds nonchalant, but Bucky can see the worry in your eyes.

"I don't want to talk about it." Bucky pulls away from your grasp and sits up, staring dead straight in front of him and avoiding your gaze.

"Well, I do." You say, sitting up as well to be eye-level with him. "And I think we should."

Bucky's body language shows that he doesn't want to talk. His back hunches and he hangs his head down, something he always does when he's uncomfortable. It almost makes you cry every time you see it because it conveys that Bucky is ashamed of something, even though he's done nothing wrong.

"You didn't do anything bad, I'm just concerned about you." You move your hand to Bucky's back, rubbing it gently. Your breath catches in your throat when he flinches upon your touch. "You don't have to talk about it, but I think it would help."

You pause, hoping to hear some kind of sign that he's okay, but none come. "I just want to help." Bucky turns towards you, and you see a look of turmoil on his face. "Because I love you." 

Bucky's eyes look down, trying to avoid your gaze. "You do know I love you..." You pause your brow furrowing from the fear of an answer to the question you are about to ask. "Right?"

I just wanna hold you tight down the avenue

I just wanna dance with you

Bucky doesn't say anything and just continues to avoid your gaze. "I love you so much. I don't help you when you have a nightmare, or stick with you even when you go on missions that last weeks because I feel obligated. I do that because I love you."

Bucky looks like he's holding back tears, he purses his lips and has a wild and anxious look in his eyes. "I want to believe you. I do I- I just can't trust anyone, I wish I could doll. God, you have no idea how much I wish I could." 

You lean in and press a kiss to his head, trying to do anything to make him believe you. A tear trickles down your face, hitting Bucky's hair and making him flinch when it reached his skin. "I don't know what I could do to convince you. Please tell me, honey, please."

"I don't know," Bucky says, a single tear trickling down his face as he does so. "I wish I knew."

You pull away and start walking in the opposite direction. "Wh- where are you going?" Bucky asks, bolting to his feet as he walks towards you.

You quicken your pace and quickly wipe away some tears using the back of your hand. You can't deal with it. How could the love of your life not know you love him? How could he do that to you?

"Doll, wait!" Bucky exclaims as he starts to catch up to you.

You start running, it's not the direction you came from, and you have no idea where it leads. Bucky runs after you, and you keep on going faster until your full-on sprinting. 

Bucky catches up to you (damn that super-soldier endurance) and catches your wrist, trying to pull you back towards him. "Don't you fucking touch me!"

Bucky pulls away, shock and fear spread across his face. Your mouth moves to form an apology, and then you realize that you shouldn't give him one. "I love you. How do you not know that? How can you not trust me?" You exclaim through your wretched sobs.

"It's not my fault doll," Bucky says, trying to place the blame on anyone besides himself- and he was right.

"I know, it's just-" You pause and take in a deep breath. "It just hurts to know that the person who you love more than anything doesn't think you do.

"This past year has been the best of my entire life. And hearing you say that you don't think it's real hurts me Bucky. I said I love your first. If you said it first I would understand you being skeptical, but I said it. I love you, James Buchanan Barnes. And dear god I hope you know that.

"And if you don't then I'll of wasted a year of my life on nothing." You pause, letting more tears slide past your cheeks. Bucky is standing in silence, a look of shame on his face. "If you asked me to marry you I would, if broke up with me I'd protest. I'm not with you for any other reason other than I love you."

Baby, I just wanna dance 

With you 

Bucky looks like he's about to speak, but you cut him off. "And I know you can't control who you trust, but can you at least try?" You pause, a daunting realization floating to the surface of your brain. "Do- do you not love me? Is that what this is about?"

Bucky takes your hands in his and then begins to speak. "I love you, I love you so much. I'm just afraid that you'll leave me, like- like Steve did."

"I'm never going to leave you." You're breathing heavily. "Can I tell you something I didn't tell you before?"

A look of fear dawns in Bucky's eyes. "When I first saw you, you were tearing a man out of a car, and you shot him between the eyes." Bucky pulls his hands away, whispering no to himself a thousand times.

"When I met you again I had no idea who you were," You pause, pursing your lips as you cried. "And when you told me I was terrified. I was terrified of the Winter Soldier." You take a deep breath and shakily look up to face Bucky. 

"But you aren't the Winter Soldier. I didn't fall in love with the man I saw killing someone, I fell in love with you." You step towards Bucky and you grabbed one of his hands in both of yours. "Even then I still was apprehensive. I couldn't get the image of- of the Winter Soldier shooting someone in the head."

You pause to take a long and shaky breath, looking up to see Bucky's panic-filled eyes filled to the brim with tears. "I couldn't walk away though. I loved you too much, and there is no one I'd rather spend time with. If that's not reason enough to make you believe I love you, then nothing is."

If he's as bad as they say, then I guess I'm cursed

Looking into his eyes, I think he's already hurt

Bucky wraps his arms around you and lets tears spill out onto your shoulder. "I'm sorry doll, I'm so sorry." You lean your head against the side of his and let your tears overwhelm you. "I believe you. I believe you."

You smile and laugh slightly, so happy that Bucky can open his heart and trust you. 

"I'm looking forward to spending forever with you, my love." Bucky leans towards you and kisses your lips passionately.

You smile against the kiss, and Bucky does the same. His tongue sneaks inside your mouth, and your tongues battle for dominance- a fight that Bucky quickly wins.

You feel his arms wrap around your hips, and suddenly he's picking you up. You wrap your legs around his torso, trusting him completely. One hand is wrapped around your waist, and the other at the top at the section where your back meets your neck.

You put both hands behind his head and lean in closer to deepen the kiss. You stand with Bucky for at least five minutes, the only thing on each of your minds in loving each other.

Every day is a lullaby

Try to catch it like lightning

"Baby." You breathlessly exclaim as you pull away from Bucky.

"What is it doll?" He says as he moves onto kissing your neck.

"I think we should head back." You say, realizing how late it's getting and how you definitely shouldn't stay out here much longer. 

Bucky glances down at his watch and promptly says: "Oh fuck, we should definitely head back."

You and Bucky walk hand in hand for the first half of the trip back, then Bucky eventually picks you up and starts to carry you on his back. You were kind of shocked by how far you'd gone in you're desperate attempt to flee from Bucky. At least three-quarters of a mile, if not more.

As Bucky shifts from one foot to the other as he walks (even though it's not as much as you'd think, years of training had left him with a very even walk), you have a conversation. You're hands rest in Bucky's long hair, twisting and curling every strand. 

"I'm sorry I didn't believe you. But I do know. I hope you know that."

You twist one of your fingers around another one of Bucky's locks. "It's okay, we're all good now baby. I'm glad that we have all of those secrets behind us now."

"So... We're going to have a very lengthy conversation about it when we get home?" Bucky asks, chuckling lightly as he does so.

"Oh yeah, definitely." You exclaim in a similar tone. 

The two of you continue in silence, comfortable with each other's companionship. 

While you're looking ahead of you, you see a tree in the distance. "Babe, I think I see our picnic spot."

Buck squints to see where you're looking. "Yeah, I see it; you sure did run a long way." He exclaims, chuckling slightly at how far you ran.

"I'm pretty fast." He shimmies you off of his back, much to your shock. "Bucky!"

"Let's see who's faster!" Bucky exclaims as he starts sprinting.

You giggle as you take off after him, and it becomes vividly clear that he is much, much faster than you.

Bucky keeps on running until he is almost to your picnic spot and then comes to a screeching halt. He's more than 10 yards ahead of you, and you can't see what he's looking at.

I just wanna hold you tight down the avenue

I just wanna dance with you

You look in front of Bucky when you catch up to him, and see the glorious sight to behold. 

There were butterflies. Everywhere. At least three hundred butterflies were flying everywhere you could see. They were in the tree, on the ground, in your basket, everywhere.

"Oh my god, Bucky. Are you seeing this?" You say as you walk up to him and take your hand in his. 

He squeezes your hand and responds with: "Yeah, yeah I'm seeing this."

You turn to face him and watch as several tears leak out of his eyes. At first, you're concerned, but your face quickly softens when you realize that they're happy tears.

Bucky turns to you and wraps his arm around your waist and you put yours over his shoulder. "I love you." He whispers, pressing a kiss to your head.

"I love you too." 

You put out your hand in hopes that a butterfly will land on it. One does. You slowly move your hand towards Bucky's face, putting the finger with the butterfly on it on his nose. Just as you expected, the butterfly moves from your finger onto Bucky.

Bucky smiles as the butterfly rests on his nose, and you can tell that Bucky is going to be alright. Because Bucky can finally be happy.

Baby, I just wanna dance

With you

With you

My Masterlist

Requests are open!

~Taglists are open~

Permanent Tags: @natasha-danvers​

Marvel:

Young Justice: