#Bruce’s dialogue boxes are annoying

[twistpixel]

Bruce doing a great job keeping his temper in check and treating Jason like a kid by fisting his collar and yelling at him. Kind of funny tbh. Deep breaths Bruce. Find your serenity. Now speak

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

Nicole's Rambling: The Avengers Problem (for PS4)

Let's start with the usual chanting: ❗this is my opinion, it's biased as hell (since I grew up with Marvel comic books and movies) and you don't have to agree❗

I was wondering why Avengers game gets so hated... So I took a look and I played it myself. Let’s have a look.

SPOILERS AHEAD

First off: the game isn't in any way horribly bad. It's just a button smasher with a story that has its good and bad beats. It's not memorable at all, but it could've gone way more downhill in my opinion.

At the start of the game, you meet the mighty Avengers through child fan's eyes - it's pure fanservice and let's be honest, it's dope. It was sweet, but pretty dragged, to be honest. I really didn't need to play as all five Avengers (HAWKEYE IS MISSING, AGAIN) in the first hour of the game, but sure, why not?

For the most part, you see the squad through Kamala Khan's eyes. For those who might have not a clue who the hell Kamala is; I am not wondering about why you don't know who the hell she is. She's a Marvel heroine who outed in 2013 and who will have her own spinoff on Disney+.

And again, Ms Marvel is fine, but not memorable at all. I've never, until this day, met anyone who would say that 'Ms Marvel is my favourite superhero'. I was halfway through the game before I even realized it's Ms Marvel - AFTER SHE PULLED HER DAMN COSTUME OUT. That can be due to my utter ignorance or because I heard of her so little that I can count it on my fingers. In all honesty, I loved Kamala as the story progressed, the gal's not bad at all - but as the whole game, she had good and bad beats. There were times where I wished to play as Iron Man and the game forced me to play as her... Whatever.

Let's look at the three problems I have with this game and three positives I found in the game:

0. (Technically zero since it's a personal problem of mine) The soundtrack and the voice actors:

By any means, I am not trying to say they should hire RDJ for the role of Iron Man and Mark Ruffalo for the role of Banner... But it was so hard to distinguish the voice of Nolan North (For example: Nathan Drake x Iron Man) and Troy Baker (Samuel Drake x Bruce Banner). For me, as for a PS4 gamer, it's annoying to hear the same voices again and again in every game I am genuinely excited about (Idk how Xbox players are familiar with them). Of course, there's even Laura Bailey as the Black Widow; I feel like these are the three only people who do voice acting for games these days and sure, I should've seen that coming.

Side note: Nolan North is not a good fit for Iron Man in the slightest in my opinion, but if you like his Iron Man, that's cool as well!

The soundtrack... M A N, the soundtrack. When I heard Marvel gave a green light to the Avengers game, I expected to hear at least the iconic Alan Silvestri's 'The Avengers'. Problem with this is simple: Marvel had spoiled its consumers with good and memorable soundtracks (don't you tell me you don't remember as they all gathered for the first time). Since it was Marvel itself who gave the green light for this project, which was supposed to be based loosely on the movies' and comic book success, I hoped to get all of it.

It's not Iron Man when AC/DC song isn't playing in the background as he flies through a canyon for his life. I mean, Iron Maiden are fine; but come on. COME ON. It's not the same. It's not the Avengers (WITHOUT HAWKEYE) without their significant theme.

1. IT. BUGS. ALL. THE. TIME and the combat is incredibly repetitive:

When I was little, I was a rage gamer. I could barely play Crash Bandicoot or Rayman without losing my cool. Since then, I grew up, skilled and etc. I try not to rage when playing games since it's simply not worth it.

But when you're replaying a boring mission for the tenth part and you're almost over and SUDDENLY, the game bugs out and you lose control over the character (it starts running in circles, etc.) it sucks shit. And don't let me start on the minor bugs. Like when you don't cross the platform by one pixel and the game doesn't let you make combos when you're in the air and bug into a tree when you bug into a wall, a rock, fucking nothing... Bruh. It was released in August, shouldn't these bugs be fixed by now? The game is fucking broken, hoes. It barely feels like a game ready to launch at times.

When you're so lucky that you don't bug out in the middle of doing something, the combat... It isn't bad. It's not terrible, but the Avengers deserved something better. It didn't deserve mediocre combat that repeats itself in every level. Once you find yourself good combo, you're done for. You can use it to finish the game if you will.

2. There's too many missions, too much information and too much things player has to understand if he wants to play the game properly:

Okay, this might seem to be a little confusing; I didn't understand the game system at all when I first ran it on my PS4. There's story missions, HARM training sessions, daily missions for particular heroes, faction missions (SHIELD, Pym, Stark, etc.) and character-side-story missions, and a lot more.

Trust me, it doesn't sound that hard, but once you open the map menu for yourself... Oh boy, that's a different story. And if it only was the map menu. The inventory and such aren't too collected all together either. Before you can safely tell what is what, it will take you at least a whole afternoon. Also, the fact that game just spills it on you just like that, one thing after another, it doesn't help the overall feel.

On top of that, there are MULTIPLE currencies in the game; some even involve microtransaction. It mostly is involving the customization of the Avengers, so it's not THAT big of a deal; you can get one currency by collecting boxes and stuff, but it takes ages before you can buy one single thingy.

Also, if you would like to get stuff (very useful stuff) from factions (SHIELD and Pym mainly), you have to do in-factions daily quests, which usually require to do a certain amount of things as a particular hero (you can do some quests with Ms Marvel only, some with Black Widow, it usually involves the damage dealt while playing as a character etc.). And if you forget to fetch these minies? Well, no faction points for you, bucko.

The system feels overall too complicated in the begging and even after finishing the game, I am not certain by some.

3. The gameplay of the one and only... Natasha Romanov, and the entirety of Steve Rogers:

Right off the bat: IT. SUCKS. SHIT.

This was your shot in opening our mouths and showing why Black Widow BELONGS to the Avengers in the first place. Like, sure, storywise you proved the point, but gameplaywise... That's a different story.

Out of the bunch, Natasha feels the slowest, most clumsy and overall not too pleasant to play as. Mainly is because her attacks do... Nothing. The gun reloading is basically constant when I have to put it simply and it takes about 3-5 seconds for her to even reload; which can be a matter of life and death inside the game. Sure, she can make herself invisible; but that's like... It. It's not that it would be suffering when you are forced to play as Nat... But not a pleasant experience either.

On the other hand, maybe it's just me. I have friends who told me the same about her gameplay, but maybe there's someone who enjoys the Black Widow. It's my personal with the entirety of the gameplay.

Steve, on the other hand, isn't hard to play as. It's just fucking boring. At the start of the game, I couldn't wait to play as Steve's character. He seemed to be awesome - Jesus fuck, how could I be so wrong? As I said, he's incredibly boring and dry, his skills would do the same amount of work if they even weren't there. I think that Rogers is there just for the shock value (as a value that doesn't even work in the slightest) and nothing more.

As you learn to do the tricks and combos with them, it gets slightly better and skill tree and equipment upgrades can help almost unnoticeable... But really, Steve and Natasha are the absolute worst.

Now the reasons why the game convinced me it isn't a hot mess as I initially thought:

1. The characters, dynamics, chemistry and the overall story:

Sure, it is mainly a basic plotline, a cookie-cutter one, full of cliché - Avengers have to regroup after a traumatic event and you're the one who has to find them and bring them together.

Yet it is quite interesting; the game leads you to believe that Steve Rogers is dead after an event called the 'A-Day' (which you won't believe even if the game does the hardest to make you to, constantly remaining you that 'Oh boy, Cap died, did you know that?') and the Avengers had left to exile because they were considered as big bad for the people and the country. They have their emotional baggage and the banter between Banner and Stark (though it ends too soon), is just the thing that makes them human and relatable.

Even the villains are quite compelling; not like ultra super convincing, but the game can turn around when you least expect it to; which is definitely a huge plus.

The characters were done GOOD. The dialogues are full of personality and jokes you'd expect from each one of them; Banner is a wallflower cutie, Tony fishes for compliments all the time, Natasha is the big independent woman she always was and Thor? CHEF'S KISS, I swear. It hits the Shakespearean vibe perfectly and at the same time, he still is charming and quite funny to hang around.

Every time you can listen to a chit-chat between two characters, it is a great pleasure for you as a Marvel fan. Also, I need to say that regardless of my personal issue with the dub (regarding Tony and Bruce; since they're the people you spend most of your time with), the dialogues for these two characters are on point without a doubt. And I kinda grew fond of the in-game Bruce Banner throughout the course of the game, to be honest.

There are references, jokes, inside jokes, one-liners... The dialogue was done amazingly and that's a huge   T H A N K   Y O U  to the developers.

2. The mind-blowing gameplay of... Tony Stark and Thor and AI, while not being too bright, getting stronger as you do:

In what the Natasha gameplay lacks, these two give you exactly what would you expect and way, way more than you'd ask for. Again, it mainly reflects the personal gameplay preferences of the player; let me tell you why I think these gameplays are, in my opinion, the best.

a) Tony's gadgets and weaponry: The suit itself is bloody brilliant. Once you master the ability to attack and fly at the same time, you have the moments when you can not only feel like Iron Man - but really be Iron Man. It's not even that your gameplay would suddenly become 10x easier; it significantly becomes funnier.

b) Thor's heavy fist-to-fist and Mjolnir preferences: the Mjolnir is bloody brilliant as well. Thor's combat is mainly physically based, but when you want to throw the hammer around like the madman you are, you can suit yourself. You can use the lightning if you please and you can fly if this style of combat suits you. It's all in your hands. Thor can take quite a bit of damage, which is significantly supporting you in this style. If you accidentally drop Mjolnir? Well, call it back and smash them!

Also, regarding the AI... As I said, they're certainly not the brightest sparks in the flame; yet thanks to the power getting bigger as you level up and continue with your story and a huge variety of enemies - from turrets to flying men with flamethrowers. It is just button smasher, but a pleasing one in this regard, I must say.

3. The fanservice to comic book fans, movie fans and loyalty to the property:

As one IGN review once said... "This game makes you feel like Batman." And this game more or less accomplished it as well, but diluted and stripped down. Of course, in no way I can compare this to the masterpiece to the Arkham saga; these games are brilliant.

But there are moments when the game can just drag you inside the story and tell you: "You're Iron Man now, boss. It's in your hands." And it's there. I think the only issue was that the team of devs just took too big of a bite. I wouldn't mind stand-alone titles emerging into one and big Avengers game. That would be fun as well and I would spend my time with it gladly.

To end it: it's a mess, but a good mess you might like. If I was to rate it, would be 5.1/10 Wait until it is on sale, don't rush it. I'm overall disappointed and I most likely will forget I have ever played it.

[danwhobrowses]

Justice League Snyder Cut - Review

Fan Power has willed the Justice League back to life

The much-awaited Snyder Cut came out earlier this week and at last I have found time to watch it, so now it’s time to review it

Did it live to the hype or did it fall and flounder like Whedon’s?

Spoilers for the Snyder Cut underneath, find 4 hours to watch it and come back. You can watch via HBO Max, NowTV (who do a 7-day free trial) and Sky Cinema

I will also preface that these are my opinions, everyone has them and they are not all the same, these are my thoughts about the film

And I did like the movie, I think it was much better than the Whedon one but not as much a flawless masterpiece it could’ve been

What wasn’t Great Every movie has flaws, and longer movies tend to have more flaws. While these are gonna be things I didn’t think were great about the movie this does not mean they entirely ruin the film for me.

4 Hours is Probably Too Long The 4-Hour runtime was manageable in terms of pacing, however, there were several scenes that kinda felt like padding - which for a 4-hour movie isn’t really necessary. Scenes like the two where it’s just a character walking to a song wasn’t needed and felt more like it was there for the sake of it being in trailers, and while I am a heavy advocate of trailers not showing us scenes not in the movie. As much as it was nice to see Iris West, because it didn’t really do anything for the film it didn’t need to be in the film, Quality over Quantity. The Epilogue’s Knightmare and Martian Manhunter sequence for the most part felt like it was lumped on too, like we had 2 other Knightmare Sequences of Superman breaking bad, the third one didn’t really give us anything new except for Joker, Mera and Deathstroke being a part of the Knightmare Squad.

Some Still Sour Casting While not entirely Snyder’s fault you do get a bit of a pit having to see some actors reprising their role, Amber Heard as Mera particularly. Eisenberg’s Luthor also didn’t feel like it was much better (though these were old scenes, I am aware of that). Leto’s Joker also was a mixed bag, ups and downs.

Keeping Some Bad Scenes from Whedon, and Cutting the Few Good Whedon Scenes So while it was rumored that the film would be completely different from the Whedon JL film it was of course not the case. While many, many scenes were altered, some scenes that weren’t too great still made it to the Snyder Cut, small scenes with crappy dialogue for sure but you notice them. I think the one that annoyed me though was the omission of the good scene in the Whedon version and it’s when Bats gives Flash the ‘Save One Person’ pep talk, I thought that scene went a long way in imbuing Flash with the confidence to embrace his heroics more, I also liked when he sharpied the guy’s face before visiting his dad in prison, sold his more playful personality.

Flash needs to Pick a Lane As much as Flash was the comic relief character at times, it did feel like he would flit between Competent and Incompetent throughout the film. This is where the Whedon JL pep talk scene could’ve forgave this, because Flash will either be invaluable in a fight, or a detriment to himself and others, sometimes at the same time. Boy trips over a lot! And his Iris scene was kinda creepy...

...And So Does Diana’s Romance Angle Frankly, Diana doesn’t need a romantic subplot, it doesn’t really progress her character at all for the situation at hand. But across the film there seemed to be bits here and there that looked like the movie wanted to nudge potential romances with her and other League members, and that’s members plural. The main romance seems to be the Bruce/Diana bit, they have had a tiny flirt in BVS so the one scene makes sense, but then there was this weird energy with her and Cyborg and then also her and Aquaman. I can understand the sentiment that every dude there finds her attractive but it’s not exactly necessary to try and push any of the three to be more than platonic, and Diana isn’t quite the mother hen trope that Alfred is.

Some CGI and Dialogue doesn’t quite fit TV CGI of course gets a hit and miss, but Cyborg many times does suffer a bit of uncanny valley, as does Steppenwolf’s armor. The dialogue also suffers sometimes, some things that look good on paper don’t come across the same way because of the tone and inflection used in the speaker. A prime example is when Diana, for some reason, only seems to call Clark by his Kryptonian name, another being Silas’ recording to Victor. The ‘Mrs’ ‘Doctor’ is always a cringey cliché, the headmaster wasn’t undermining you by gender, if he called Silas Mr. Stone there wouldn’t be such offence, it’s just an eyeroll. Cyborg’s ‘Didn’t think you were real’ is also dumb in context, he is a cyborg made from a Mother Box who recently talked to an Amazon goddess and fought Parademons, he knows about Superman but the Dude dressed in a Bat Suit for 20 years can’t possibly be real.

“This Place, it’s Toxic” This is a small one, but Steppenwolf’s base of operations isn’t much better than Whedon’s. Though it’s not populated, it’s supposed to be toxic, something Steppenwolf makes not of when he arrives. But all that kinda goes out the window when the Justice League lot come in and raid it. At the least when Whedon’s had a family living in it we could see that the environment wasn’t too hostile for humans to breathe in let alone fight in.

Cyborg’s ‘heart’ doesn’t fully land Upon promoting the Snyder Cut, a lot of focus came down to Ray Fisher’s Cyborg. The promotion suggested that he would be the ‘heart’ of the story, and the league, but upon watching the story unfold it didn’t quite land. When I hear that someone’s the ‘heart’, it’s more than just that they are core to it, it means that they carry the emotional story as well, and Cyborg’s emotional story wasn’t really something to be moved by. He rightfully has resent for his father and his father tries to make up for it, mutually having care for each other but not being great at showing it. While Cyborg was a good character showing good development, I wouldn’t say he kept the promotion of him being the heart of the movie. Also his ‘helping’ breaks the financial system, I mean you could’ve helped a different way.

There’s not Six, there’s Seven! But J’onn sits this one out The reveal of Martian Manhunter was great, J’onn has been one of my favourite DC heroes since the animated Justice League Unlimited where Carl Lumbly gave us a uniquely compassionate, intuitive and someone ethereal kind of hero. But in Justice League his reveal as the army guy in Man of Steel left me lacking a little bit, why has J’onn sat out of this? If he’s been around since MoS he would’ve had some idea of all the stuff going on from BVS and JL, and it’s not like he’s simply not caring because his human form is a military person sworn to protect people. It just would’ve been nicer if J’onn’s contribution was more than just getting Lois out of the house you know? Like if he was saving other hostages from Parademons or gifting the League intel it would have been nice. Also, ditch the glowing eyes, I know he has red eyes but the glow makes it more menacing, at first I thought Martha had been Parademon’d or had the Omega imprint.

Apokalips Technology kinda sucks For a planet that has razed several tens of thousand of planets, mind controlling their lives into Parademons, being able to open Boom Tubes and capable of space flight, the technology the League face doesn’t seem that great. Consider Steppenwolf’s 'Stronghold’; it is easily undone by breaking the ‘tower’ which the Batplane crushed through like a Kit Kat bar - after penetrating a weak outer shell - after that the Parademons have cannons that can barely even harm the Flash and stormtrooper aim. It does really feel like the only valid technology Apokalips brings to Earth is on Steppenwolf’s person, but even that suffers. Clark freezes the axe and shatters it with his breath, his armor is eye lasered off - more on those later - even though Bruce’s gauntlets were able to stave off the lasers for a bit. Consider that: Alfred built gauntlets that fared just as well as Steppenwolf’s armor...it just feels off. And it wouldn’t be as bad if the technology was praised, but Steppenwolf made note of how primitive the technology was, then lost. Even with the Mother Boxes that brought Clark back to life and were said to be able to rearrange matter however it is willed, but Steppenwolf’s fortress couldn’t make it out of a sturdier material.

Amazons take the L The Amazons are a warrior race, with superhuman power, no fear and enhanced skills in combat - but they barely ever win. Granted, the Amazons had to lose to Steppenwolf, but they were for the most part wasted as they were with Whedon. This would’ve been much easier to stomach if the Amazons were showing contributing better to the Darkseid flashback, but you don’t really see any of them fight Darkseid like the Atlantean King, the Greek Gods and the Green Lantern. You could make a call for Artemis being the Amazon pile since her arrow warns Diana but it’s not exactly enough, I don’t think it helps that the Amazons are consistently bringing swords to a gun fight. They only lasted longer than the Atlanteans in protecting the Mother Box because they kept throwing it out of Steppenwolf’s reach, only earning credit for failure and stubbornness.

Also I have to add, the Female Chanting that becomes the Amazon and Wonder Woman’s theme was heavily overused to the point where I got sick of it, needed more of Diana’s actual theme.

Too Much Slowmo! Snyder has his style, but he needs to have some restraint. Some slow-motion scenes did hurt the pacing. Slow Motion needs to fit a purpose of showing something we’d want to see that at normal speed would be hard to track, Bryan Singer knew this, but Snyder uses Slowmo as much as JJ Abrams uses lens flares.

Look at these Cars, MERCEDES CARS! Product placement happens, it needs to, but Mercedes needed to be a little less blatant with it. The cars looked ugly as balls as well.

The Over-Deifying of Clark Kent *sigh* So this is gonna probably be a me issue more than anything. I understand the crux of the plot is that Superman kept the Mother Boxes from calling Steppenwolf before, but I have to make this clear: Superman is NOT a God.

I have to make this clear because Diana is a God, daughter of Zeus, and she frequently struggled against Steppenwolf alone. While the resurrected Clark going unchained against the League led to the cool scene of Flash noticing that Clark can track him, it still left the sour realisation that in this universe, Superman is above all the other 5 league members combined, as well as being almost as fast as the Flash...who can turn back time. And that always hurts, Diana and Aquaman have at certain times of the comics slapped around Superman and have more than been enough to be his physical equal - the same is for J’onn and Shazam btw, Supes is weak to magic. It annoys me because making Superman the alpha defeats what makes Superman the leader, he’s considered one of the best heroes not because he’s the strongest but because he is humble, kind and reasonable, regardless of his genetic strength from an extinct race of aliens what makes Clark Superman is the Kansas Boy Scout attitude and what made the Mother Boxes fear him should’ve been his ability to bring people together.

His flexing on Steppenwolf did not nearly give me the catharsis others might have had, Diana’s sword and gauntlets are godly relics but a Kryptonian eye laser can fare better against Steppenwolf’s armor, Kryptonians aren’t gods.

Also they don’t really explain how Clark can resume normal life, people think he’s dead.

What was Great Okay that did look like a lot of complaints...but remember, 4 hours! There was still a lot more enjoyable moments and improvements upon the Whedon version, which we can delve into now.

Improved Character and Motivation Of the characters in the Snyder Cut there is definitely a greater improvement in fleshing out the main League Members think and feel, where they come from becomes key to how they act. This also is true for Steppenwolf, while a fully disappointing villain in Whedon, Snyder kills the ‘mommy issues’ dialogue and paints a much more desperate, outcasted and slightly pitiful antagonist, even in his defeat it’s shown just how little Darkseid cared. The inclusion of Darkseid also adds to Steppenwolf, because we see the head of the table we know that if Steppenwolf is overwhelmed there is still Darkseid, who was so tough that it took 2 of the strongest gods to wound him. While his emotional story didn’t land so well, Cyborg getting the backstory and the mental turmoil really helped with his character and made his declaration of ‘I’m not broken’ earned and emotive, through Vulko - and Dafoe’s glorious mane - we get to explore Aquaman’s reluctance to meet expectations of him a bit further. Affleck’s Batman also gets good development, attempting to assemble the League out of honoring his promise to Clark and trying to bring himself out of the darkness and anger. Barry’s dad happily rejoicing that Barry has his ‘foot in the door’ was also a sweet moment.

In the Knightmare sequence we see improvement in Leto’s Joker, a lot more like the Joker we are fond of and his underhanded taunting of Batman. Remove the orange gloves though...

R for Red, Blood Red I read somewhere in criticism of the Snyder Cut that it did not earn its R Rating, and I think that was dumb. You got blood, violence and cursing, Steppenwolf freaking bisects a dude and the rating allows Diana to behead Steppenwolf at the end. There’s believable brutality that never comes off as overcompensating or gratuitous.

The Fakeout That caught us off-guard didn’t it? A great way to use Flash’s time travelling powers by having the Unity actually be achieved. Seeing the Unity atomize Superman as well as Arthur and Diana was also a good display of the dangerous power of the Mother Boxes. For a film where we already know what’s going to happen because we’ve seen it before, the fakeout of the League failing was a great shock value moment.

Good Exposition The story had a lot of background  and backstory to cover, so it had to make sure that the exposition they used wouldn’t be dumps of preachy dialogue. This was done really well thanks to the way the story showed Cyborg’s abilities, producing simulations that Vic would then walk through such as when he explained the Mother Boxes, the Murals in the tomb forewarning Darkseid’s first invasion - which later became the flashback story - and the Mother Box visions were able to tell valuable information without overwhelming the audience with it.

Knightmare Warnings Although the final Knightmare warning was kinda lumped on the wrong place, it continued to give us teases of a different scenario, the fear of what will happen when Darkseid comes to Earth. Seeing the deaths of Aquaman and Wonder Woman paired with what seems to be the incineration of Lois and then Clark breaking bad forewarned Cyborg in a similar manner to how Bruce was warned in BVS and the epilogue. The scenes also teased their importance to the Knightmare resistance, since Cyborg and Bruce look to be a part of a bigger role which can be key to preventing such a thing. 

The Knightmare scenario did also make me want to see more of this apocalyptic scenario, as well as all the dynamics had with Bruce, Joker, Cyborg, Deathstroke and Flash (but not Mera, unless they change her actress because Fuck Amber Heard) as they try to face off with evil Superman.

Some Nice Easter Eggs As well as the awesome Martian Manhunter reveal and the Age of Heroes Green Lantern, we got cameos from Zeus, King Atla, King Arthur, Ares, Artemis, Iris West, Deathstroke, Joker, Commissioner Gordon - who looks really similar to his BTAS design, the voices of Jor-El and Johnathon Kent, Darkseid and Granny Goodness, we also got Ryan Choi - the third Atom - as Silas’ assistant and a cool nod with the policeman Lois gives coffee to every day. That guy is Mark McClure, who played Jimmy Olsen in the Reeve Superman and Dax-Ur in Smallville. There’s of course the Black Suit, which looks amazing, the code for the Mother Box is the issue which Cyborg’s origin story is introduced, one of the cops Crispus Allen would later become the Spectre and we finally see Arkham Asylum. You can also see Kilowog dead at the foot of the Hall of Justice in Cyborg’s Knightmare vision. You can also still see the open pod on the Kryptonian’s ship, implying Supergirl.

Two Fathers / Using Zimmer’s Flight Perfectly Zimmer’s ‘Flight’ is perhaps one of my favourite themes in Superhero movies, definitely the best in the DCEU next to Diana’s theme, so to hear it be used at the very mention of Superman was great. To hear it more than once was even better, especially in the Black Suit scene. With Superman about to return to the fight, hearing encouragement from his birth father and his Earth father was a wonderful touch, getting to finally embrace himself in the way Jor-El hoped and with the blessing of Johnathon. While the Amazon chanting was overused the film definitely made good on the rest of its music hitting at the right time.

Stronger Visuals While the visuals of Whedon’s version were never god awful, there was a lot of great visual moments in the Snyder Cut, Flash’s super speed scenes of course being one of the main highlights. Snyder is one for showing artistic frames and it does shine a lot here, the Comic Spread scene when attacking the Stronghold, the lineup after the battle, the view of Apokolips, the mural and even the Anti-Life Equation looked amazing. I particularly liked the ‘Melted Iron Zoom Call’ Steppenwolf did to contact Desaad and Darkseid.

Legitimate and Varying Dynamics Between Characters If every hero got along the same way then you’re not really doing much with your characters. Snyder made sure that each character had a varying level of dynamic with them, for instance: Barry is the same personality by default but he’s intimidated by Bruce, crushes on Diana, scared of Arthur and tries to pal with Vic and that affects his approach, Arthur doesn’t treat Vic the same way he treats Barry or Diana and so on. The dynamic is also sold by stuff like Bruce’s desire to atone with Clark, or Diana and Arthur’s people having been at war with one another causing distrust. There’s also the relationship between Vic and his Father which tragically only starts on the path of making amends, Alfred’s micro-managing of Diana’s tea making, Barry’s less-enthusiastic demeanor when around his dad, Bruce’s ‘hate you but need you’ dynamic with Joker and Steppenwolf’s estrangement with the rest of the New Gods are properly expressed.

Setting Up a Bunch More If the DCEU decides against picking up from the plot points of the Snyder Cut it’d be a huge mistake. As well as uniting the Justice League we’ve set up a future villain in Darkseid and Deathstroke, future members in Atom and Martian Manhunter (not to mention Shazam and the potential for Green Lantern), a potential AU film of Knightmare, and future normal developments with characters such as the potential Lois pregnancy and Barry getting a forensics job. With the Mother Boxes still on Earth as well there is potential to use them in a similar way that Infinity Stones were used in the MCU, Atom gaining abilities from the alien technology for instance such as introducing Nth Metal and then Hawkman and Hawkgirl, or just making more and the introduction of the New Gods allows other characters such as Mister Miracle, this can easily be a stepping stone for a lot more DC content to varying degrees.

Conclusion This film was very good, not the best superhero film ever but definitely a labor of love that succeeded in its expectations and bettered its previous version in nearly every way. Despite seeing the Whedon version and it having a similar plot it still had moments that surprised and excited me and the characters all felt better, whether every cut will have the same acclaim will be up for debate but the fan-charged attempt to salvage DC’s Justice League is definitely a success.

[lovelyirony]

Emotional TonyNat fic? Either's POV. One tryin to avoid the other because the feeling's so deep, it's already scary..

Tony failed two literature classes in college. Two. Both times, it was kind of only maybe sort of his fault. 

But not really. 

Kind of. 

Yeah. 

The problem with a guy like Tony is that he sees everything logically. He doesn’t get how literature is set up, why he has to read a play as pointless as Macbeth. It was obvious that he was ill-suited for the throne and due to that, his wife tried to take over but also realized that neither can do it, went crazy from a morality crisis, and then it went on for ages. 

He doesn’t do small talk, which is partially why he takes the business world by such a storm. If you’re boring, Tony will not talk to you. He will tell you that he wants to get to the point, and you better do it. 

Natasha Romanoff is the same way. 

She knows what she’s meant to do, what is expected of her. She will not do more than that, will not do less. 

Being a part of a team that you have an emotional stake in causes complications, they both come to find out. When you care about people, nothing is exact. 

Natasha finds herself sliding over a box of tea for Bruce just because she remembers that he was saying he was nearly out, and he didn’t want to deal with the crowds that much, particularly. 

She stares at herself in a mirror for a long time after that. 

Because she’s Black Widow. She’s heartless. She’s a picture of perfection, stone cold down to the gaze. 

Tony’s becoming the same way. Soft. He keeps making sure that Steve doesn’t fall asleep on the couch and complain about how he slept the wrong way, and that Natasha’s bike is still in top condition. 

“I know how to care for my bike,” Natasha snaps one day, Tony rolling his eyes. 

“Your bike has never received the special Stark Treatment. I’ll have her practically jumping to go.” 

“Fine,” Natasha snaps. “But I get to drive the Audi anywhere I want to go.” 

“I hope you know if you crash my car, that’s four million,” Tony says. “Custom work doesn’t come cheap.” 

Natasha gags as she looks at the car. 

“That for four million?” 

“Clean energy when it wasn’t a priority,” Tony says. “Hell of a dent for pocketbooks to take.” 

“And I’m sure yours handled it with grace.” 

Natasha comes back at night. She doesn’t tell anyone where she’s been, although she throws a paper bag for a bookstore in the recycling, according to Jarvis. 

“Do you always have to keep tabs on me?” she asks, not even looking up. She’s the only one who has resolutely made herself not do it, finding it completely stupid. 

“Only when one is hellbent on world domination.” 

“I’m only a little bent.” 

“My mistake, Agent Romanoff.” His damned AI project sounds amused. Has sass. She’s frustrated with how good he makes things. She doesn’t understand how he does that. 

Tony’s in his lab. He has on an old tank top, eating a smoothie and gagging because “Kale? You put kale in this, Dum-E? God, I bet you got that from your mother, Rhodey-dear--” 

“Bike. Where is it.” 

Tony looks up, posture straightening as he takes in the sight of Romanoff. 

“Looking good. I see you kept the top down.” 

“You might have a speeding ticket.” 

“I swear if you sped by the police station and they find out--” 

“You’ll be proud of me?” she cuts in, smirking. He’s getting up off the couch, going to the actual garage area. He throws open the door, revealing the bike with some new parts and a brand new kickstand. 

“I don’t know what you heroes do to your bikes, but your tires were about to give out,” Tony says. 

“Don’t forget you’re a hero too,” she reminds him. There’s a look on his face as he looks towards her that says he’d forgotten. 

Her bike runs like it was made for just that. Like she could go anywhere, even though she just got back. 

After that, she pays a lot of attention to Tony Stark. 

He has an annoying attention to detail. Everything has to be exact, everything has to be according to what will happen in the future or even as it’s going on. 

“Because he took architecture classes,” Rhodey says. “Bunch of annoying people, but they’re damned good at perfecting everything. As long as it functions, engineers call it good.” 

She starts finding Tony in her quiet haunts, the kind that leave a bit more haunting behind each time until she has to face it. 

They both realize that they’re not good enough to be heroes. So they’ve been pretending at it, but they also don’t know how to play pretend. 

It’s a rather frustrating thing, then. 

Natasha likes to be exact. 

Emotions are the exact opposite of that, which is why she hates that her heart races and she wants to be imagining what it’s like to be in his arms, his hands tangling through her hair, and--

Look. She doesn’t want this. She doesn’t want to imagine love and imagine smiles that aren’t meant for anyone else because...

Black Widows aren’t made for that. She’s not made for that. She’s meant for killing people, for being cold. To look at people and not form personal connections, to put hearts out for the taking for anyone else. She lets people fall in love with her, but she’s never done it herself. 

And so she runs. Running away from problems is actually a feasible solutions. People just tell you that because they want you to stay. She remembers running in Russia away from people she thought she owed loyalty to. She ran from Clint, for a time. 

But Tony’s different. Because it’s Tony who makes her laugh and who takes her to shitty diners so they can say dialogue from Pulp Fiction verbatim, and they annoy Sam and Bucky with their taste in music and the various quotes they pull from movies. It’s Tony who jokes around with her and asks about Russian movies and everything that she wasn’t supposed to know. 

Her heart hammers in her chest as she imagines certain disaster, herself falling in a whole different way, but landing this time. 

Falling in love--the concept and what people think of--doesn’t count landing. They never tell you that you have to land. Now, whether that’s on concrete or onto grass is not up to you. There are multiple exit strategies, but you either crush yourself or you roll and get back up. 

So she doesn’t want to think about it, she doesn’t want to see him. Because there are the heady thoughts of it all, the ways she knows him and the way that she wants to know him. 

For the first time, Black Widow is unsure of her power. 

[midnight-serpentine-blog]

FAQ

In General

Do you take requests? My guy, without requests, this blog will go dry very quickly. We are high maintenance and require a lot of attention.

Will you write all requests that you receive? We reserve the right not to write a request if we don’t vibe with it. We will explain why we won’t, and whining won’t change our minds. Otherwise we will do our absolute best to see that all requests get written.

What if I don’t like something in your fics? If you see something wrong in our fics, feel free to let us know politely. If you are rude, we will make a note of what annoyed you and we will feature it prominently in our following fics until you (or someone nicer than you) asks nicely for us to change it. If it is a trigger we won’t do that, obviously, but we will do our best to tag so that doesn’t happen. Don’t read things if they have a trigger warning for something that triggers you. I shouldn’t have to say it, yet here we are. If you dislike the characterization, we can open up a dialogue and maybe we’ll write you one with a characterization that you prefer. Or maybe we’ll tell you to shove it. Depends on how things go. If you dislike the things we write about (e.g. Death Eaters from Harry Potter), then don’t f***ing read that fic. Blacklist it, whatever. We know why and how they are problematic, we just dgaf. It’s for fun.

Why don’t you have a masterlist/other Tumblr things? We are new to this whole writing thing, Midnight to Tumblr in general, and Serpentine has never written her own post before, so be patient. We are learning this whole thing as we go, and it was meant as more of an experiment than a job anyway. We will do our best to make a masterlist and make the blog easy to search, but it has a learning curve, so don’t be surprised if we don’t manage right away (or ever)

Do you have a tag list? We could try?

How often do you update? Depends on how much love and attention we get. If we get a lot of requests, we’ll be doing a lot of writing, Real Life™ allowing.

Can I reblog? If you make sure our names are still on it, you do what you like, my guy.

Can I tag you in things? Can I give you an internet hug? Ofc. Remember what I said about attention?

Can I message you? If it is for requests, we’d prefer you keep it in the asks, but if you wanna say something, then sure. Keep it PG for Serpentine’s virgin eyes tho. (Serpentine can deal with it, don’t be a wuss - Midnight) (You’re a wanker - Serpentine)

What don’t you write? Incest, non-con, A/B/O (bc Midnight will die), m-preg, underage anything ever, etc. Just keep it level guys. Don’t make it weird.

What happens with any original fiction that you post? I won’t post much of it, and it won’t be anything that I ever have intentions on making into A Thing™ so it’s basically just like our fanfics, go ahead and reblog if you feel just keep our names attached. Also, try not to write anything based off of it or anything like that, but if it sparks something, you do you. We’re reasonably chill until you’re a dick. (Then we’re chillier than a frost giant’s cold shoulder - Midnight)

What happens if I want to be a prick about your writing while on anon? Come at me, bro.

What types of requests do you take? We’re going to try to have a prompts list, or borrow some from fellow writing accounts that are okay with others using their lists, but prompts that you come up with are definitely great! Imagines, multi-chap fics, one-shots, drabbles, headcanons, it’s all fair game.

Serpentine

Name/Nickname: Serpentine, Holly, Andy

Age: 18

Pronouns: she/her/My Lady

How would you describe yourself: I would not

Are requests open: Yes

What do you like writing most: Fluff. I love it when everyone is peaceful.

What do you like writing least: Character bashing. Sometimes I have to for the sake of the plot, but it hurts.

Who do you write for: Marvel - Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers, Tony Stark, Loki, Thor, Dr. Strange, Clint Barton, Pietro Maximoff (he didn’t die hmmm nope), Frank Castle (Jon Bernthal only), Brock Rumlow (don’t say anything Midnight, I know he’s a dick, leave me alone), Anatoly Ranskahov, Vladimir Ranskahov. Harry Potter - Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Charlie Weasley, Fred Weasley, George Weasley, Draco Malfoy, Antonin Dolohov, Thorfinn Rowle, Rodolphus Lestrange (although I characterize him as fatherly more than anything), Rabastan Lestrange (although don’t expect mental stability), Fenrir Greyback, Corban Yaxley, Evan Rosier, Lucius Malfoy (if we go AU), Lucissa (Narcissa Black nee Malfoy + Lucius Malfoy), Theodore Nott, Blaise Zabini, Regulus Black, Jily (James + Lily), Sily (which is my take on Sirius + Lily, though mostly they are platonic sometimes I think hmm). I have a lot of my own personal headcanons for nearly all of these characters because I have spent many years of my life ‘living’ in the Wizarding World when I should have been doing my homework, so if something doesn’t vibe for you, I apologise, but I am very specific about my Harry Potter. 

POV & Other Characters: These can be OC or reader, platonic and romantic or unpaired accepted. For Harry Potter, I can also write them as Hermione Granger (like most HP fics are tbh). As for other characters, it’s all negotiable, but with Harry Potter fandom Slytherin characters are much more likely to get the OK bc I’m House biased (Go Snakes). The ones marked as couples are only written as couples, so don’t try to make me pair dear James Potter with anyone other than his Lily.

How long does it take to write a request: If I’m inspired, maybe an hour or two. Now when I post it...

Open to ask memes: Absolutely the hell yes. I love talking about myself.

Special Rules: I do not write smut (yet, bc I am innocent in the ways of the flesh), but I will yeet those to Midnight and I’ll do my best to take any other requests and if y’all wanna drop nasty imagines into the ask box or something, we’re all ears (eyes?). I will write poly ships, though again I reserve the right to decide how (e.g. M/M or nah) and there will be no sin.

Midnight

1. Name/Nickname: Midnight, Kai, (Barnes)

2. Age: 19

3. Pronouns: she/her/Soldat

4. How would you describe yourself: I... am basically a less intimidating Winter Soldier (memory problems, depression, anxiety) and an MCU genderbent Loki because I can be a sneaky little shit

5. Are requests open: YEET

6. What do you like writing most: Fluff. Any time I get to make scary assassins do domestic things... I am there for that

7. What do you like writing least: Death. Why y’all gotta do me dirty like that? There’s more than enough in the MCU alone guys. Can’t we just pretend we live in the Everybody Lives AU?

8. Who do you write for: Marvel - Loki Odinson, Thor Odinson, Tony Stark, Doctor Stephen Strange, Bucky Barnes, Peter Quill, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanov, T’Challa, Peter Parker (aged up), Pietro Maximoff, Wade Wilson (Deadpool), Gamora DC - Jason Todd, Bruce Wayne, Diana Prince, Clark Kent, Connor Kent, Dick Grayson, Steve Trevor, Tim Drake, Wally West, Barry Allen, Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy, Catwoman, Damian Wayne (aged up), Kaldur’ahm, Jaime Reyes, Bart Allen (aged up), Roy Harper (if you want YJ’s Red Arrow, please specify, otherwise my default is Arsenal), Hal Jordan Assassin’s Creed - Altair, Ezio

9. POV & other characters: I prefer reader inserts, however, if you would like an OC I would recommend naming the OC with a nickname so it makes it nicer for other readers to enjoy it. I will do specific ships if I ship them or I know enough about the ship. (eg WonderTrevor, SuperWonder, Stony, Stucky, IronStrange etc) I am also pretty okay with writing smut, but I may not be able to for specific characters/ships due to lack of experience in writing the sin, lol. (and yes, I will take your smut requests for Serpentine’s characters, and work with her to achieve the correct characterization, so long as time permits us to work on it in a timely fashion)

10. How long does it take to write a request: Depends on how busy I am, the alignment of the stars, the weather… jk, in truth, I can be very busy and also have to manage my own health so it can be from a half hour (if I’m really inspired) to up to a week or two. (I will try my best to turn out work in a decent time though, and if I have to ask Serpentine for help I will)

11. Special Rules: Already covered, I guess? Just bear with me on getting things out on time.

Please note; most of this was written by Serpentine at 3 am, I (Midnight), only wrote my own FAQs, also at 3 am. If none of this makes sense, that would be why. Serpentine rarely makes sense without supervision, so feel free to ask for clarification if the wording is awkward.

[scruffybat]

i have more thoughts than expected so it’s under a read more but the tldr is king asks a bunch of decent bat/cat questions but then doesn’t actually answer them. when he does seem to give answers he then manages to contradict them. his weird dialogue, scene choices, and the timeline jumping doesn’t help. i don’t understand helena. 

okay I thought about it on my run and here’s what it is: he’s going for some things aren’t black or white some things are grey. multiple shades of grey. if bat is good, joker is bad, cat is somewhere in the middle. some people like boxes and struggle with people that don’t fit in them, one of those people being bruce. but he loves her, so how does that work? 

he talks about this whole bit of their both in pain and that’s what makes them the way they are. in some sense it’s them against the world (but also not really). all of these are perfectly fine topics to explore with bat/cat

so king poses all these hypotheses but then never actually goes anywhere with them! joker tells catwoman she’s basically just batman, which obvs she isn’t, but it pisses her off and then they have a batman-themed wedding?? is it funny? yes. does it just go back on the point you literally just made? also yes. bruce settles on the fact that he loves her but we don’t get any reasoning for why that is, other than he just chooses to. which yes okay that’s fine but there are no steps in the middle to show this character growth.

for several issues selina hangs out with the joker casually. i get he was trying to do a weird triangle thing with the three of them but there is no reason why this would happen. it could be because she’s trying to distinguish herself from batman, but that’s a lame YA angst reason. it could be to keep tabs on him, but then she doesn’t nothing with that knowledge. (it’s established she doesn't tell bruce bc then joker would never let her in on anything, and she doesn’t want bruce to know she hangs with him). make it make sense.

in his rebirth run i LOVED the idea of “can you be batman and be happy”. i think that’s a great batman question. but he also didn’t do much with that! he chose selena and chose to be happy, she leaves him bc she thinks it’ll stop him being batman and that would be selfish (also a good cat angle), and he shuts down for a while. 

imo, a good way of reconciling this could be: bruce find happiness elsewhere first. namely, his kids & friends. losing selina sucked, but he gradually comes around and learns to be happy as bruce, with his family and the jla etc, and he becomes a better batman for it. selina recognises this and then it goes wherever. 

what actually happened was things get worse and worse and worse for bruce, until selina feels bad for him? i guess???? then they defeat bane by going “no we won’t tag team you” which is a lie. 

((but again - i get what he was aiming for. bat/cat is a great team. even with everything taken away from him cat is there. etc. it just SUCKED))

the fact that king’s dialogue is weird doesn’t help a thing. huge exposition bit i am used to, he’s far from the only one to do that. they characters just say things i can never imagine them saying?? ESPECIALLY bruce. “i fight my whole life since my stupid parents and that stupid gun and those stupide pearls flew everywhere” asdkfjg sorry what????  

the time skips are annoying but fine i guess. i don’t understand helena as a character at all. i think he was going for “she’s like cat so they clash a lot but trying so hard to be bat” but then everyone just talks about how she’s basically bruce. she doesn’t seem to know what her own motivations are so how the hell are we. i’m so confused.

bonus: i love clay mann’s art tho. some of these pages are sooo pretty and i love how he uses fun perspectives. he also makes everyone extremely sexy. 

the thing for me about tom king's batman stuff, especially batman/catwoman, is I feel like I got what he was trying to do with it. he just didn't manage to get it across (partly due to his dialogue which is eeeuegh) may post more thots later

[chiseler]

IT’S QUARTER TO THREE... IDA LUPINO SINGS

“I have a lovely voice. I sang ‘Smoke Gets in Your Eyes’ five times. He was loaded.” Thus Ida Lupino explains how she came by a $50 tip in Private Hell 36, the last, leanest, and in many ways best of three films in which she played nightclub singers—canaries very much at home in the coal mine of noir. She makes a perfect 3 a.m. saloon singer, with a sound that brings its own dim lighting and haze of nicotine. She sings for the lonely, for the losers, but without a trace of tears or sentiment. That lovely voice is so dry it could be used to salt sidewalks. It belongs to a woman who has no more pity for others than she does for herself.

Girlishly slight, with big widely spaced eyes, Ida Lupino played a lot of hard-luck waifs with bruised hearts and faces. As Warner Brothers’ backup for Bette Davis she played a lot of glamorous sufferers and scenery-chewing neurotics. But playing women who sing for their supper, Lupino settled into another character: the wised-up, independent dame who more than holds her own in a man’s world ruled by muscles, money and guns.

In The Man I Love (Raoul Walsh, 1947), Lupino’s singing was dubbed by Peg La Centra. Her throaty contralto is fairly plausible coming from Lupino’s mouth, but it’s a rather glossy, weepy sound—a fitting sound for the rather glossy, weepy melodrama this turns out to be. Nonetheless, there is much to enjoy in the tale of a nightclub singer named Petey who visits her family in Los Angeles for Christmas, sorts out their problems (a wartime tsimmes of shell-shocked husbands, straying wives, and kid brothers falling in with bad company), while fending off a lecherous nightclub owner and smiling through an unhappy love affair.

Petey is a standard tough-on-the-outside, soft-in-the-center woman’s-movie heroine, who can easily stand up to a grief-crazed gunman (she simply steps in and beats the stuffing out of the would-be assassin, sending both him and his intended victim home with their tails between their legs) but who self-punishingly devotes herself to a man who treats her badly. She falls for San (Bruce Bennett), a once-promising pianist who has been stewing in booze and self-pity ever since being given the brush by his socialite wife.  San is mopey and churlish, and he plays the kind of pretentious symphonic jazz that Hollywood took for high art, but we just have to buy that she loves him. Part of the problem, of course, is that he’s played by Bruce Bennett, who is adequate but lacks the dark appeal and tortured charisma that someone like Robert Ryan or John Garfield—both of whom had terrific chemistry with Lupino—could have supplied.

The real music in the film is not Lupino’s singing but her dialogue. The lines aren’t really so brilliant, as you realize if you try to quote them, but the quick, casual way she tosses them off creates the impression of someone so sharp, so with-it, that she can’t help herself. Take her marvelous exchange with a cab driver who spouts corny old saws; she responds with an off-hand, half-amused, half-annoyed teasing that goes completely over his head. A huge hit that marked Lupino’s peak as a popular star, The Man I Love illustrates two sides of her screen persona: one high-strung and emotional, the other wisecracking and deadpan—a “strong, aged-in-the-wood woman,” to borrow from another Gershwin tune.

Just such a dame takes the spotlight in Road House (Jean Negulesco, 1948). Eyeing her in a bar, a man remarks admiringly, “She reminds me of the first woman who ever slapped my face.”

This time Lupino does her own singing, thank you very much. The script gives her cover with a story about how she studied opera in her youth, was pushed too hard and lost her voice; and with the back-handed compliment delivered by Celeste Holm, “She does more without a voice than anyone I ever heard!” It also gives her terrific songs to sing and excellent, bluesy piano arrangements. Lupino was highly musical (it was in her blood—she was descended from a long line of English music-hall entertainers), and her delivery and sense of rhythm, conveyed as much by her naked shoulders as by her face or voice, make her entirely convincing as a professional. But that voice—hoarse, spent, like the sound of someone who gargles with cheap Scotch—needs no excuses. It’s not pretty or melodic, but it sounds the way a good drink makes you feel: dry, self-possessed, casting a calm and amused eye on its own depth of feeling. Lupino stakes a solid claim to the great Harold Arlen-Johnny Mercer standard “One for My Baby (and One More for the Road),” which was written for Fred Astaire and claimed by Frank Sinatra. (It is interesting to note that the other essential saloon song, “Angel Eyes,” was introduced in the Lupino vehicle Jennifer, though she doesn’t sing it.) She makes “Again,” an alluring but potentially sappy tune, into an elegant vermouth concoction. And she really gets hot with the boogie-woogie number “The Right Kind,” standing up at the piano and giving way, just once, to uncomplicated enjoyment.

Like The Man I Love, Road House introduces Lupino as a tough cookie and then feels obliged to dunk her in a pretty soggy plot. Her early scenes are priceless: playing solitaire with her shoes off and her legs propped up on the desk of a man she’s never met; setting her cigarettes down on the edge of the piano while she plays, so they leave a row of burn marks like the notches on a gunfighter’s piece; slapping Cornel Wilde hard across the face and then crooning mockingly, “Silly boy.” She’s Lily Stevens, an entertainer from Chicago hired by the smitten Jefty (Richard Widmark) for his road house in the woods near the Canadian border. She’s magnificently jaded, with a bored mask of a face that dares you to judge her blonde hairdo rather silly; an air all the time of being detached, preoccupied, yet never missing a trick.

It might be credible that Lily would—out of sheer boredom in this wholesome one-horse town—decide to toy with Pete (Cornel Wilde), Jefty’s hostile, sulky right-hand man. But that she would find true love with this chiseled block of wood, who teaches her to bowl and takes her swimming in the lake, is not something one wants, at any rate, to believe. Halfway through, the movie shifts gears to become the story of an innocent couple persecuted by an obsessively jealous lunatic. Richard Widmark takes over, giving his fans what they want—maniacal giggles, spine-chilling cackles, and twisted streaks of pathos—but the story devolves into an overheated drama played out in a very fake sound-stage forest flooded by an overactive fog-machine.

Finally, in Private Hell 36 (1954), Lupino plays a canary who’s not required to trade her wry quips for damp hankies. By now the aging-in-wood process is complete. No smoke gets in her eyes, though there is plenty in her voice. Tears in her baby blues would be as out of place as rain-clouds in the Sahara, and her heart is now as bone-dry as her pipes. The one song she favors us with, more talked than sung, is a warning—or taunt—to any suitor that she won’t fall in love, she’s not like other women—“Didn’t you know?” The man she sings it to falls for her like a ton of bricks.

Her name is Lilli Marlowe, and when a cop who comes to question her suggests that sounds a little phony, she doesn’t deny it, but claims it’s so long since she used her real one that she can’t remember it. Bored with the interrogation, she quips, “You know, I’ve seen all this on Dragnet,” which hints at the movie’s attitude towards the genre conventions of the police procedural.

It starts like any standard-issue policier, with a robbery and murder that will spark the plot when some of the stolen money turns up in Los Angeles. A pair of detective sergeants, Cal (Steve Cochran) and Jack (Howard Duff), are assigned to track down the hot bills, which is how they wind up in a nightclub in the sleepy afternoon hours, pitching questions at the house chanteuse while she sits between them, giving nothing away except an endless supply of evasive, needling wisecracks.

Directed by Don Siegel and co-written by Lupino, Private Hell 36 was a production of The Filmmakers, the production company she formed with her then-husband Collier Young in 1948. Her original desire was to make socially conscious films about ordinary people: her early efforts cast a compassionate eye on unwed mothers (Not Wanted) and the handicapped (Never Fear). When these earnest films predictably failed to catch fire at the box office the company turned to crime, releasing tough, stripped-down gems like Lewis R. Foster’s Crashout and Lupino’s own masterpiece, The Hitch-Hiker. There was more pulp melodrama behind the scenes at The Filmmakers than in front of the camera. Lupino divorced Young but continued their business partnership; she married frequent co-star Howard Duff, though you would never guess there was anything between them from watching Private Hell 36, in which he shares a bed with Dorothy Malone while she plays sexy scenes with Steve Cochran. Collier Young would go on to marry Joan Fontaine, whom Lupino cast as her fellow wife in The Bigamist. One can only imagine what the mood was like on the sets of these films.

The central relationship in Private Hell 36 is between the two cops, longtime partners and friends but near opposites. Cal, introduced through a realistically violent brawl in which he shoots a would-be robber, is quickly established as glib, vain and callous. When Jack, a straight-arrow who has a wife and baby, mourns the death of a fellow cop, Cal shrugs, “Stop taking it so hard. He wasn’t your brother.” But the men have an easy, fraternal rapport; when Cal complains that the attempted robbery has made him late for a date, Jack suggests, “Tell her you’re sorry, you had to shoot a man. If she loves you she’ll understand.”

When the two finally track down the original thief and find a suitcase full of cash, Cal pockets some of it, urging his partner to “relax” and “take it easy.” Jack is horrified, and objects—yet he goes along with the theft, even as guilt poisons his life. Does he do it out of greed, out of loyalty to Cal, or out of fear of exposing his initial lapse? It’s hard to say, but his combination of righteous talk and weak will makes Jack hard to like, while the unscrupulous Cal grows more sympathetic as he falls for Lilli.

Their scenes together are the high point of the film. At first, they share that brand of hostile banter that film noir took over from screwball comedy, slowed down and left to simmer on the back burner. “If you’ve got time to kill, why don’t you blow your whistle and arrest somebody?” Lilli sneers when Cal shows up at her door. She doesn’t like cops. Cal pretends he’s come to follow up on the questioning about the man who gave her the $50; when he asks how long she’s known him, Lilli responds with bright bitterness, “All my life. Ever since I was a little girl I dreamed I’d meet a drunken slob in a bar who’d give me fifty bucks and we’d live happily ever after.” She takes most of the conversational tricks, but Cal can talk her language. When she sarcastically says she doesn’t know how to thank him, he leers, “I bet you do.”

If only life were like this.

Without the tiniest trace of effort, Lupino gives us a woman of the world; only the perfection of her jaded poise suggests how hard it was won. How old is she? Lupino was 36, but Lilli Marlowe is both ancient and ageless. She has heard all the questions and knows all the answers—to quote Barbara Stanwyck in The Purchase Price (1933), another world-weary nightclub singer who can’t sing worth a damn. Lilli is always tired; it always seems to be 3 a.m., and her feet hurt and her shoulders are sore and she’s seen it all and she’s sick of cops and drunks in bars who want you to sing “Smoke Gets in Your Eyes” while they cry in their beer. She lives in a drab hall bedroom with a small Scottie dog named Murgatroyd. But she hasn’t given up hoping—for a diamond bracelet, for a trip to Acapulco, for the right man to come along. More than any of these things, though, she wants her independence; to go where she wants and do as she pleases. When Cal starts getting too possessive, she tries to ditch him and head to Las Vegas.

Steve Cochran is on Lupino’s wavelength in a way that Howard Duff, onscreen, never was. Handsome and swarthy, Cochran played a lot of slick, cruel, egotistical gangsters like Big Ed in White Heat, probably his best-known role. But he was capable of much more, as he proved in Tomorrow is Another Day, an unusually delicate and character-rich B noir, and in Antonioni’s bleak, melancholy Il Grido. Cochran had a strangely sweet smile and an unexpectedly light voice; both could contribute to his icy menace, but they could also suggest a gentle soul under the macho exterior. As Cal, he portrays a shallow, selfish man who is nonetheless capable of tenderness and deep feeling; his love for Lilli is the one true thing in his grabby, amoral life.

Like so many noirs, Private Hell 36 (the number is that of the trailer Cal rents to stash their stolen loot) is about the corrupting force of money. Even Jack is not immune; when they spend time at the racetrack searching for a criminal, he speaks with bitter awe about the sight of so much money being tossed around like confetti, while he works hard for a modest living. Lilli is always talking about her desire for money and the things it buys, not so subtly implying that a man who wants her had better have the dough to afford her. Cal is acutely susceptible to this pitch, eager to dazzle her with his ill-gotten gains. She quickly intuits what he must have done and doesn’t blame him, but in the end she suddenly realizes that perhaps they don’t need the money; perhaps their love is enough.

Alas, this mature, intelligent, tough-minded film is badly marred by its ending. It’s a typically moralizing, simplifying, Code-imposed conclusion, made much worse by being far too abrupt, sketchy, and dependent on events that have happened off-screen. And it does not, as it should, give the last word to Lilli, though we can easily imagine how she will shrug her shoulders and keep going, not missing a beat. If she had the last word she would say: well, that’s how it goes. There’s no cure except to move on, so you might as well have one more for the road.

by Imogen Sara Smith

[reactingtosomething]

Reacting to Justice League

You Never Come Back Right

This official concept art first appeared here

Two Guest Reactors join Kris to talk about DC’s indisputably awkward but intermittently promising attempt to out-Marvel Marvel: Andrew, whom some of you may know from our Baby Driver reaction, and another of our film school buddies, Zack Snyder loyalist Justin.

KRIS: Unfortunately this is just a text post and we haven’t graduated to multimedia presentations, so we can’t properly reproduce JL’s cameraphone video opening, but let me ask you guys: What’s the best thing about Earth?

ANDREW: *Thinks for a minute*

It's-

JUSTIN: The best thing about Earth...

ANDREW: And my phone dies.

Did we ever get an answer??

I don't remember.

KRIS: Someone asked Henry Cavill about this in an interview and he said something about Superman believing in humankind’s capacity to be good even when everything is awful

But I’m 99.9% sure the real answer is Lois Lane

Which, fair

ANDREW: If you asked Batman, he would say Superman is the best thing about earth.

JUSTIN: LOL, Amy Adams as Lois Lane, I’ll agree

If actually answering for myself, I’d say the best thing is the uncertainty.

ANDREW: Of Life?

Of death?

Of coming back to life from death?

JUSTIN: Of life.

ANDREW: Spoiler?

JUSTIN: No no. You never come back right.

KRIS: I feel like if Whedon had made JL from the ground up there might have been a more coherent thread for that, but as it is I think the best parts of this were Snyder

Which I probably would not have said if you’d asked me a year ago

JUSTIN: I couldn’t agree more.

KRIS: I mean I’m glad that we’re probably not going to get the version of the story that they had in mind when they made the “Knightmare” sequence in BvS, because it felt like they were going to do an Injustice thing and kill off Lois

ANDREW: I'm actually not sure whose version I would prefer. But it is very obvious who did what scenes, and there is a bit of whiplash.

Why do you guys say Snyder?

JUSTIN: Well I’m a Snyder fan in general but if Whedon was on board from that start we’d have a good but much different film.

ANDREW: Out of curiosity.

We would have had Avengers 3z

KRIS: I think part of the reason Whedon’s stuff felt half-assed to me wasn’t really anyone’s fault, it was just the horrible luck and the tight timeline

But there’s also stuff like the sight gag of Barry falling into Diana’s cleavage, which a lot of critics have already called out as a repeated joke from Age of Ultron

JUSTIN: Exactly. This film release should have been delayed.

KRIS: It did sound like Snyder’s original version was going to be eight hours long with way too many supporting characters

ANDREW: Directors cut.

JUSTIN: Yeah those moments just had such a different tone from what we knew.

ANDREW: Oh, I forgot about that gag... sigh...

KRIS: Yeah, tonal consistency is a big part of it for me too

JUSTIN: I was wondering the same thing. The things I hear that were cut sounds like a lot of pages

Well the first act is just so rough for me, so rushed. But I’ll be the first to acknowledge BvS has the slowest, longest first act.

KRIS: I think I’m in between you guys in terms of how much I like Snyder’s DC movies, but I was invested enough in them, and especially in the characterization of Superman, that the course corrections in JL in terms of “more fun” and “less brooding” just feel too big

JUSTIN: Snyder’s cut sounds like a two parter.

ANDREW: But Kris, it's okay. Cause he was revived as a different character.

KRIS: I was honestly glad they abandoned the original plan for a two-part Justice League, but the ways in which the studio has reacted to both critical and audience feedback have been kind of nuts

JUSTIN: Yeah it’s more of 90 degree turn and needed maybe 45, if that makes sense.

ANDREW: I concur Justin.

KRIS: Like the Suicide Squad recut by the folks who made that really well received trailer

I think if Bruce hadn’t felt like such a totally different dude, Superman feeling pretty different might have landed better

What I did really like in Cavill’s performance was that even as an oddly happy dude, his Superman is still pretty restrained and quiet

ANDREW: There problem is that they're too reactive to what everyone says, instead of going with a vision anymore.

D.C. I mean.

KRIS: For sure

JUSTIN: My issue with Bruce was his sudden brotherhood with Supes and really odd when he mentions Clark. He didn’t know Clark Kent!

ANDREW: He looked it up.

With the... bat... Wikipedia

JUSTIN: Found him on Facebook.

KRIS: Even Diana suddenly knowing a bunch about Krypton felt a little weird

ANDREW: Yeah!!

KRIS: I do wonder why if Bruce felt so bad he didn’t reach out to Martha and/or Lois sooner

JUSTIN: Kal-El

ANDREW: I wonder why the first thing he thinks of when getting the magic box is team

JUSTIN: Martha lost her house! How did Bruce not go in and clear all her debts after he paid for the funeral?!

ANDREW: Reanimate the dead*

Thanks autocorrect

JUSTIN: Do you think the black suit was used and then cut?

KRIS: What’s kind of funny is that Bruce has (probably accidentally) been established at someone who doesn’t pay much attention to his finances -- no one ever realized those checks to the Scoot McNairy character in BvS were “returned”

ANDREW: Black suit?

KRIS: For Superman

It wouldn’t surprise me

It feels like a Snyder-y aesthetic choice

JUSTIN: True, he’s a one track mind

ANDREW: I wouldn't pay attention to my finances either if I were him.

JUSTIN: Cavill teases it too

KRIS: I did have to appreciate the “I bought the bank” line

JUSTIN: Yeah. And that was Snyder

KRIS: Which weirdly reminded me of Ken Watanabe buying the airline in Inception

ANDREW: It's a reflex!!

KRIS: I don’t know how much of it is deliberate but I kind of dug Bruce’s consistency in continuing to say things like “If there’s even a fraction of a possibility...”

JUSTIN: I surprisingly wasn’t bothered too much by how he was brought back.

KRIS: The idea and the process I thought were pretty cool

It didn’t actually feel like a big enough moment when Bruce presented that idea

I don’t know if that’s because it needed more setup, or it was just kind of boringly shot, or what

JUSTIN: I could see that. I really enjoyed the moments of friction in the group

ANDREW: It wasn't really how he was brought back. It was more of it coming up out of nowhere.

JUSTIN: Flash finishing Bruce’s thought was kinda like, “where did that idea come from?”

ANDREW: In think I did a literal double take on the theatre.

JUSTIN: For me I mean, I wondered

KRIS: They maybe needed to let Bruce, if not everyone, see the Mother Boxes in action

JUSTIN: That would have helped.

ANDREW: That probably would have worked.

Something!

Anything that could lead  this train of thought.

KRIS: They also hadn’t really established this Bruce as the polymath genius of some other incarnations

ANDREW: Not really, no. He's not dumb, but he's not a super genius.

JUSTIN: Yeah. He comes across as a brute

ANDREW: And tired of everything

KRIS: And I missed that -- maybe not how INTENSE AND ANGRY he was in BvS, but actually showing us a late 40s/early 50s Batman

ANDREW: Grisly! Has arthritis

I would dig it

KRIS: There’s some lip service dialogue about it, but Bruce being tired and worn out could have also fed into the arc of building a team and a legacy

JUSTIN: That’s what I liked in DKR.

ANDREW: Awww that's so good, Kris!

Especially if Robin is dead in this universe, which he is... right?

JUSTIN: And just preparing for the future

KRIS: Yeah, we see Robin’s armor in BvS briefly

JUSTIN: Well Nightwing is out there

KRIS: With the Joker’s graffiti

Caroline Siede, the culture critic, tweeted that with actually pretty light editing, the first act could have set this up as a Diana POV movie instead of a Bruce POV movie, which would have both been an actually appropriate response to outside feedback and also made more sense for the characters

JUSTIN: Jason Todd’s Robin?

KRIS: I assume Jason, yeah

ANDREW: Ahhh yes. Oh, so nightwing is out there. Probably?

KRIS: It’s around the time Bruce gets the invitation to the Friends of the Metropolis Library event

ANDREW: Ooooh Diana pov.

That would be sick.

Hey remember that brief fight scene where she blocked all the bullets!

That was one of my favorite scenes in the movie.

JUSTIN: Well Jessica pointed out Bruce should have asked Diana to talk to [Arthur Curry] since they’re both, you know, special.

KRIS: I’ll link to it properly in the post, but Caroline’s proposed edit was to start with the present-day Amazon sequence, then go to Diana[’s action scene then to] the museum seeing the beacon, then have her go to Bruce

Oh man, yeah

ANDREW: Sounds more straight forward to me, actually.

KRIS: Right?

JUSTIN: Ooh I like that.

KRIS: And that Amazon sequence had some really cool stuff in it, action-wise

ANDREW: I was actually really nervous, cause I was afraid they were all gonna die.

JUSTIN: I was just typing that. One of the best action. Just shows off how well they work together.

KRIS: The CGI for Steppenwolf was surprisingly awful, and the newly hypersexualized costume designs were pretty annoying, but the whole keep-away tactic for the box was great

ANDREW: Yeah... Magic Carpet Ride looked really really bad.

Like really bad

Like awful

KRIS: It was at the point where they should’ve just given him a full face helmet

JUSTIN: Not to start comparisons to Avengers but I like when the opposition is more intellectual in Loki than physical, like Steppenwolf

ANDREW: Is it sad if I keep wanting to make music jokes with Steppenwolf?

It's the name!

JUSTIN: It’s only natural

KRIS: You should give him a new name every time you mention him

ANDREW: On it!!!

JUSTIN: I think his mother’s name is also Martha

KRIS: WHY DID YOU SAY THAT NAME

ANDREW: That's how they should have stopped him.

KRIS: Oh there was this one Bruce-Barry character beat that I was really surprised they never actually concluded

JUSTIN: That brings up one of my Snyder complaints. He’s great visually but I don’t know that he directs the actor’s performance

ANDREW: That's not his strongest suit.

What's the beat, Kris?

KRIS: Yeah, Miri and I have talked about that -- he has pretty terrific casting instincts, but either he’s really hands off with the directing or just kind of bad with actors

It was the “Save one” thing in the sewer

JUSTIN: Yeah except for Lex I love his casting choices

KRIS: When Bruce gave him the pep talk I was totally invested in whatever mini-arc that was going to be

And Barry has like two seconds where he seems to realize whatever Bruce meant when he said “Then you’ll know”, but there’s not a third scene where Barry and Bruce talk about it again

JUSTIN: Oh yeah, I can see that. It was a great little speech.

ANDREW: I... forgot... all about that.

KRIS: I loved it because they didn’t do the first-choice thing of having Bruce just get annoyed and tell Barry to Man Up or whatever, and it was such a great Elder Statesman thing, and even on-brand for the animated Batman

JUSTIN: A line with Bruce joking, “you caught on fast.”

KRIS: But they didn’t pay it off

ANDREW: Dang it!!

KRIS: I wonder if it was a cut Snyder scene, or an unfinished Whedon rewrite

It feels more Whedon-y but I could see it being either

JUSTIN: We probably won’t find out for another 5 years.

ANDREW: I could see it being either too.

Speaking of whedon-y, my favorite part was the moment after they resurrected superman.

KRIS: That big Flash moment with the slow motion and the sword was pretty great and almost definitely all Snyder

JUSTIN: Oh god that was awesome!

KRIS: Not quite as amazing as “Time in a Bottle” in Days of Future Past, but way cooler than anything Whedon did with Quicksilver

ANDREW: I also liked when the flash and superman fought, and Flash realized that he could see him

Yeah, he did like nothing with quicksilver!

KRIS: YES. I tend to think Barry should be definitively faster than Superman (if not necessarily WAY faster), but the eye contact in that post-resurrection fight was great

Ezra Miller was really great in general

ANDREW: Ezra Miller was fantastic.

JUSTIN: It was great with Barry still being able to dodge him but his shock on how fast Supes was.

The characters and interaction are what really made this movie enjoyable for me.

ANDREW: Same, actually.

KRIS: I think individually most of the performances were a lot of fun, although as a team the cast doesn’t yet have the same chemistry as the MCU Avengers

Cyborg seems to have been a victim of the rewrites

ANDREW: And exposition

KRIS: I don’t know if we saw enough to even judge whether Ray Stone is a good actor

ANDREW: Not really.

JUSTIN: And that’s a product of not having individual films leading up to this.

KRIS: Right

Does either of you guys know much about Aquaman?

ANDREW: I'm in the same page with Aquaman. I think he did well, but I don't  he had enough to do? Or say?

I don't know much about him from the comics.

JUSTIN: Not a ton. And now I really want to read some more.

KRIS: For me Aquaman definitely felt like everyone just sort of dusted their hands off after casting Momoa, like “Our work here is done”

ANDREW: Pretty much.

JUSTIN: I think his performance definitely drew my interest for the movie next year.

ANDREW: But sadly, it wasn't enough

At least for me

KRIS: I feel like this Aquaman is just as different from comics Aquaman as Snyder/Cavill’s Superman is different from more classical versions, so it kind of annoys me that the general consensus seems to be loving one and hating the other

I mean I get that part of it is about tone and theme and not just about fidelity to the comics, but still

And I did like Arthur a lot

JUSTIN: I read some comments from Momoa about how he and Zack worked on this outsider on land and sea who is just a loner. That annoys me knowing there was more to his story.

ANDREW: I think people just really like him from Game of Thrones, and they aren't thinking about tone or theme.

Ya! Khal Drogo is playing the character that people make fun of!

Etc

JUSTIN: I haven’t seen GOT so I only know him a few other things.

KRIS: He was Conan in that 2011 remake that was not great, although he was good in it

JUSTIN: But I appreciated his enthusiasm for the character

KRIS: And I LOVE the casting choice of a Pacific Islander

ANDREW: Me too!!

JUSTIN: Oh yeah, I get that and The Rock’s Hercules confused.

KRIS: Hahahaha

Not unfair

JUSTIN: Both roles Arnold played back in the day.

KRIS: A few years after that movie he was pretty candid in a spotlight thing at C2E2 in Chicago, about most of the top leadership on Conan just not really knowing what they were doing

That’s another character he actually seems to know really well and care about, so it was a bummer

I do have high hopes for Aquaman

JUSTIN: Just trying to cash in on the IP

KRIS: Though I wonder what the financial situation is at Warner now, in terms of going beyond Aquaman and the Wonder Woman sequel

ANDREW: I do too. I want it to be good.

JUSTIN: And with James Wan directing

ANDREW: Oh yeah; JL didn't do as well as they wanted, right?

JUSTIN: Did the air bubble bother you guys?

KRIS: The air bubble surprised me but I didn’t hate it

JL didn’t break 100 mil domestically for opening weekend

JUSTIN: Me either. Wan said his movie wouldn’t have bubble conversations

ANDREW: Why do they need that though? They live under water!!

Is that bad for them? Box office wise?

JUSTIN: I like to think that’s how they have a private conversation

KRIS: Everyone seems to think it was pretty bad, yeah, although I think it had a decently strong Chinese opening

ANDREW: They can whisper! Under water!

JUSTIN: Yeah Box office was projected at 110-120

ANDREW: Ouchie

KRIS: Budget was supposedly 300 mil before adding marketing costs

ANDREW: Oh my god!

JUSTIN: Yeah international will be the thing that saves it

ANDREW: Including re shoots?

KRIS: I assume/hope so

ANDREW: Oooooh boy

Reboot

JUSTIN: I think reshoots brought it to 300 mil. Marketing 150-200 million

KRIS: It’s wild, considering how mediocre most of the VFX were

ANDREW: Yeah man! Born to be wild looked awful!

KRIS: Another thing Snyder does really well, or at least did before BvS, is the sheer scale of superhuman action sequences, and you really miss that in the Superman scenes

(He had a different DP on BvS than on MoS)

ANDREW: I know we talked about it. I just wanted to make another joke.

JUSTIN: And a different one for JL too right?

KRIS: Yeah

Looks like a lot of TV credits, including some major GoT episodes

JUSTIN: MOS is still my number one.

KRIS: Same

JUSTIN: Yeah

KRIS: I mean Wonder Woman is objectively better crafted, but I’ve been pleasantly surprised at how much I still like MoS on rewatches

ANDREW: Yeah, but in the supermen scenes he just... dominates. In fact, you didn't really need anyone else in the climax. He saves people faster than Flash. He easily subdues Who Needs Ya, more than Wonder Woman or Aquaman. And he helps cycborg with the unboxing.

It makes me mad...

KRIS: The thing with the Russian family was I guess a Whedon add-in, which makes sense, and I did like the punchline of Superman carrying an entire apartment building

ANDREW: I liked the punchline, but it undermines everything about them working together

KRIS: Yeah, it’s interesting and frustrating at the same time -- there’s a way they could have actually played Superman DRASTICALLY altering the balance of power as this huge, amazing thing

But they ended up in this awkward middle space

JUSTIN: I feel you Andrew. It’s like, “we need Superman back so the rest of us can go back to our regular lives.”

KRIS: On paper Superman changes everything but it’s not directed in such a way that you really feel it

ANDREW: Well, he does change everything. Everyone else can go home.

KRIS: I don’t for a second believe this will happen, but I think what would make the most sense is for Diana to remain the leader of the team and Clark to be basically the Thor-esque muscle

I did like Bruce explicitly acknowledging that he wasn’t cut out for leadership, but it also draws attention to the point that the movie would make more sense from Diana’s POV as she takes up the responsibility

A detail that I’m irrationally annoyed about in the climax is the use of Superman’s freezing breath

Which I’ve always thought is kind of a dumb power, but they also hadn’t established it in MoS

ANDREW:  What you're saying is, it should be Wonder Woman 2: Wonder Woman and Friends. Which I support.

He had some winter fresh gum in his pocket.

It's in a deleted scene.

JUSTIN: Wonder Woman should be the leader, at least for now. I like that in MOS he doesn’t know to take his fight out of a huge city and Batman knows that in BvS. And now they both can guide Clark to be better at what he does.

KRIS: Something that wasn’t set up well in the previous movies is Bruce’s idea of Superman as a beacon of hope

ANDREW: Yes! That was... odd.

KRIS: You can sort of connect the dots from the world’s uncertainty about Superman to feeling bad after he dies, but JL doesn’t do the work for you

JUSTIN: Yes!!! The whole hope thing bothered me from the first trailers

KRIS: I do kind of like the idea of Bruce being guilty

ANDREW: But there is a line between grief and total admiration.

KRIS: Right

It’s also weird that Bruce understands that Diana is an inspiration

It’s not like Steve Trevor had a journal we know about

To be fair there’s no way that was going to feel anything other than transparently reshoot-y

JUSTIN: I feel like it would have been better if Bruce had said that after Superman’s death he’d become a sign of hope, or something

ANDREW: Why is batman putting these things on other people? He can be a symbol of hope!

He can be the hero we deserve! And need!

JUSTIN: He’s a symbol to fear

KRIS: I would have bought and maybe even preferred a more personal angle that emphasized Bruce trying to fix his mistakes, which is sort of hinted at

ANDREW: Like Stark post- age of Ultron?

KRIS: I guess, yeah

ANDREW: But hopefully not as catastrophic.

Or civil war-y

KRIS: Bruce as Tony, Diana as Steve, Clark as Thor -- it’s a little too convenient but it’s all there and it would work!

Bruce wallowing in his guilt might have also been an interesting counterpoint to Diana (and I guess to some extent Arthur) taking on the big-picture concerns

JUSTIN: If this were from Diana’s POV definitely

KRIS: I think ultimately the idea to get Bruce on a healthier track of mind was right but it could have used an actual arc

ANDREW: Right.

Through friendship

And justice

JUSTIN: Of course

KRIS: Oh my god, Clark having the title-drop line was so corny

ANDREW: Title drops are my biggest pet peeves in films and shows.

No lie

KRIS: “I’m also a fan of justice” doesn’t even make sense in that context

ANDREW: Or for him to say in context!

JUSTIN: Makes no sense except if kind of fit in with some other cheesy dialogue. You just knew it was coming.

KRIS: So much Whedon dialogue

“Yeah, something’s definitely bleeding”

JUSTIN: I did get a chuckle out of  Arthur sitting on the lasso

KRIS: “I know you didn’t bring me back because you like me.” “I don’t... not.”

ANDREW: That was also very out of character.

He had to be sitting on the lasso for any of that to make sense.

And he hit on Diana, which was weird.

JUSTIN: Yup

KRIS: I did like the lasso gag (which had an actual setup! when Diana helpfully explains it in the bank scene), although I also was not of fan of the hitting on Diana

JUSTIN: I do like Supes asking Batman if he bleeds.

KRIS: Even if it wasn’t creepy it’s just such a too-easy joke to go for

And I did love Gadot’s delivery of “Well I thought that was beautiful.”

JUSTIN: She makes it work.

ANDREW: Cause Gadot is awesome

KRIS: Let’s talk a little about Lois

ANDREW: Sure?

KRIS: She’s very... un-Lois in this

Explicitly, which is interesting

JUSTIN: The scene at the planet was odd.

KRIS: So odd

ANDREW: Soooo odd

KRIS: “You’re the thirstiest young woman he’d ever met”

ANDREW: Oh god! I forgot about that joke.

JUSTIN: I wasn’t sure why I was supposed to be laughing

KRIS: Amy Adams can do no wrong and she sold the reaction shot about as well as she could but geez

So, I think it would have been more in character for Lois to grieve, or more accurately sidestep grieving, by throwing herself into her work

But for the sake of argument, is there something to the idea that even a Lois Lane should be able to just sit with her grief for awhile?

JUSTIN: Sidestep grieving with Work and that’s why she hasn’t been in touch with Martha

KRIS: God, yeah

I feel like there’s an abstract idea about #feminism, and in general the idea that a person can be more than one thing, that the movie gestures toward there, but like so much about this it’s never actually developed

Lois Lane as Grieving Sort-of-Wife would also obviously play better if the gender ratio in the cast was different

JUSTIN: I feel that Amy Adams portrayal of Lois has had strong feminine presence.

*always has a strong feminine presence

KRIS: She’s a strong presence by virtue of being Amy Adams, and her characterization in MoS is mostly pretty good, but here the character suffers for having to just be a stereotypically feminine archetype

JUSTIN: The ratio does lead well into the comment Diana makes about working with children.

True.

KRIS: I mean in a literal sense Diana would still be working with children if there were more women

ANDREW: Her presence is negated by lack of screen time as well. Though I don't know if it would have helped shake the archetype she was stuck in.

JUSTIN: Yeah but I guess I’m just referring to her as mother figure.

ANDREW: Amy Adams, I mean.

JUSTIN: I agree. She is one of my favorites in BvS and in this we just don’t get enough.

KRIS: The specific nature of Lois’s relationship with Clark has been a little bit of a problem for the universe of these movies from the beginning, actually

I mean to be clear, I love her in Man of Steel

And I even kind of like the idea that she’s the first person outside the Kent family to show Clark the best of humanity

ANDREW: But then she's only there to show that to Clark.

KRIS: I think where it becomes a problem is the second half or so of BvS, with the “You are my world” thing

I do think Lois has a fair amount of agency in MoS, in addition to being a lens to the wider world for Clark

JUSTIN: I wasn’t a big fan of them already living together in BvS. I wanted to see them develop in a sequel

KRIS: The problem is that we never see Clark develop a relationship with other people, or with humanity in general

So if nothing else the idea that only Lois can pull him back from the brink post-resurrection is consistent, but this is where the “What’s the best thing about Earth?” thing doesn’t work -- it’s just Lois, again

JUSTIN: That’s a good point.

ANDREW: You just brought this full circle.

You son of a bitch!

JUSTIN: Haha

KRIS: I have my moments

The other thing that will annoy me about the Lois and Kansas scenes until I die is that they don’t use the “This Is Clark Kent” music

JUSTIN: And that’s why he runs the show.

KRIS: I get, on a really abstract nostalgic level, why Danny Elfman would want to bring back John Williams’s Superman theme

(and his own Batman theme)

ANDREW: I liked that touch. It was nice, albeit distracting.

JUSTIN: I found the score brought me out of the moment sometimes. The bank robbery scene was one.

KRIS: Me too

JUSTIN: I liked John Williams’s when Clark first came back

KRIS: It was a weird score -- when it wasn’t distracting because of those callbacks, it was mostly forgettable

I also don’t like Wonder Woman’s electric cello theme, which seems to be a minority opinion on the internet

JUSTIN: But to be honest Danny Elfman’s comments about his score for Batman being the only one annoyed me.

KRIS: I loved Zimmer’s MoS soundtrack, and the parts of the BvS soundtrack that use his Superman themes, and I really wish more of those had been brought back

Oh I didn’t even see those. Will Google.

ANDREW: I don't like the cello thing either for Wonder Woman. I never did.

Kris! I'm glad you said that.

KRIS: Lois’s VO at the end is kind of lame and nonsensical, but the TV writer/producer Kevin Biegel tweeted that the “What Are You Going to Do When You’re Not Saving the World?” cue from the end of MoS would have been a great fit for that ending montage, thematically

JUSTIN: Oh I have to disagree. I loved WW’s theme from the start

ANDREW: Ooooh yeah... there was lame voice over.

KRIS: I think I’d like it better if its first appearance in BvS wasn’t SUPER weird -- it just blares out of nowhere when he finds the World War I photo

ANDREW: Fuck

JUSTIN: It does just come out suddenly.

KRIS: I also really love the orchestral music in Wonder Woman

JUSTIN: Yes, it fit the feel of the movie.

KRIS: It’s a little less memorable, melodically, than some other superhero scores but it’s so well composed for the images it accompanies

ANDREW: The score I Wonder Woman i like. Her theme, not so much. Your right, it does kind come on at the loudest volume.

KRIS: Man I just really love that little piano theme for Clark Kent and it seems like such an obvious thing to do in the Kansas scenes

It must have been there before Elfman replaced Junkie XL, whom I admittedly wish I didn’t have to refer to as Junkie XL

JUSTIN: Isn’t it in the last trailer?

Haha

KRIS: Side note: I love the less-than-a-minute-long “Four or Five Moments” cue he did for the Deadpool soundtrack

(I think the reason undercutting Colossus’s traditional hero speech works so well is that it’s actually a pretty good hero speech)

Any other lingering annoyances or unmentioned high points?

JUSTIN: That opening Batman scene, with the robber

KRIS: Holt McCallany!

ANDREW: Not that I haven't mentioned... I think.

JUSTIN: I like him but the whole thing was too on the nose.

KRIS: “FEAR”

ANDREW: FEAR

KRIS: It’s a weirdly unnecessary scene

JUSTIN: “It’s because he’s gone isn’t it?”

KRIS: Especially now that we can’t shake the Diana POV idea

THANKS A LOT CAROLINE

It was fun to see a Green Lantern

Although I also appreciated the “isn’t this just the Lord of the Rings prologue?” jokes that went around

ANDREW: You think they would make Superman a black lantern?

K: I first misread this as Andrew asking if DC/Warner would go for a black Green Lantern, i.e. John Stewart

KRIS: I think Geoff Johns is personally too much a fan of Hal Jordan

for them to do that, I mean, not just in an abstract sense; it’s fine to love Hal Jordan

ANDREW: Awwww but then they could do a blackest night thing.

KRIS: I vaguely remember an announcement that the GL movie would be a Corps movie rather than a solo thing but who knows now, if the financial hit is too big

ANDREW: Who knows!

KRIS: Ohhh sorry I just misread that

ANDREW: Just don't do cgi suits!

Oh god!

JUSTIN: I believe I keep hearing Lethal Weapon in space with John Stewart

ANDREW: Oh my god do it!

Now

KRIS: That would be great

JUSTIN: Get Shane Black to write it

KRIS: I’m fine with flying in Shane Black to fix any superhero franchises

JUSTIN: Well it depends on how you feel about IronMan 3

ANDREW: I'm on board.

I like iron man 3!

KRIS: I LOVE Iron Man 3

JUSTIN: Me too.

KRIS: I guess to end this, just for fun do you guys have quick pitches for what you would have done post-MoS if you were in charge of the DC movies?

ANDREW: Booster gold and blue beetle buddy cop movie.

KRIS: I would’ve made the Man of Steel sequel promised by that great ending at the Daily Planet, partly because I want more of Lois and Perry arguing with each other

I also would’ve just not immediately introduced a new Batman

ANDREW: Same.

Or perhaps... Nightwing.

Instead of Batman?

Or GASP

A Batman... Beyond.

KRIS: Now that you mention it I’m kind of surprised they haven’t revisited Batman Beyond in any of the animated movies

JUSTIN: MOS sequel and WW.

KRIS: I have to admit that I’ve never really liked Lex Luthor

So I’m not sure who my MoS 2 villain would be

JUSTIN: Eisenberg as Lex?

ANDREW: I don't think it has big enough of a fan base to be honest. Batman Beyond; I mean.

KRIS: Lex in general

I also would’ve been fine with never introducing kryptonite

ANDREW: How so?

JUSTIN: I once wrote a Superman origin and used Metallo

I actually like how they introduced kryptonite.

KRIS: I guess I’ve rarely felt that kryptonite outgrew its origins as a convenient way to depower Superman (I believe in the old radio plays?)

If they had to intro kryptonite I did like how they did it

ANDREW: I also like the song.

Oh my god! He went crazy... and they still called him superman!

KRIS: MALOY

ANDREW: Damn it!

KRIS: That might be hard to beat as an exit line

JUSTIN: No no no stop it right there Andrew

Coming soon: One of our epistolary Reactions, on Star Wars: The Last Jedi.

[thechreviewer]

Review: Justice League (Minor Spoilers)

2017 has been a pretty darn good year for the superhero subgenre. Fox delivered the best Wolverine film to date, DC finally put out a (really good) Wonder Woman film, and Marvel is still chugging along with three successful films, both critically and financially. But where does that leave the DCEU’s Justice League? Now in full disclosure, because unfortunately life now demands this, I am a fan of both the DC and Marvel film properties. This review will contain mentions to the Marvel Cinematic Universe. 

To sum up my thoughts, Justice League is a mixed bag of everything the superhero genre has come up with the last thirty years or so. We have the gritty reality, the slapstick humor, the actual good humor, fancy costumes, a CGI villain, a team that doesn’t want to be a team, etc. However, it just seems like Warner Bros/DC was trying to appease everyone TOO MUCH and gave a strangely edited and fairly basic superhero team-up film. Zack Snyder’s (300, Watchmen) films of this universe thus far have been received with mixed response. Many claim they are masterpieces of thoughtful storytelling and great effects, while others feel they disrupt the comic book feel of their characters and attempt too much. Justice League, in opposition to Man of Steel or Batman v. Superman, seems to attempt to fix some of the later and ignore most of the former in a superhero jumble that is an OK watch but poorly handled. I’m mostly going to focus on the characters because there is little in the way of plot that needs discussing. 

The cast of Justice League is vast and fairly spot on, though some performances and the writing for the characters is still questionable. Gal Gadot returns and beautifully plays Wonder Woman once again, providing some of the best action in the entire film, though her character is not as well used as she was in the Patty Jenkin’s blockbuster. Ben Affleck returns as Bruce Wayne/Batman in the most conflicting performance of the film. Many of Batman’s lines have been changed from the trailers (most likely due to Joss Whedon), and though Batman still looks AMAZING, nothing he says is either thought provoking, or even funny. The same goes for Bruce Wayne, a personality it seems no one can write for anymore. It seems Ben Affleck is really trying his best, but he cannot compensate for poor writing. And of course, Henry Cavill is back as Superman. This is honestly some of the best and some of the worse we have seen of the character. When he is resurrected (not a spoiler), he plays this confused and immoral Superman so great, and when he joins the final fight Cavill really goes all out as the charming and powerful Superman. The problem the bridge between these two points is so muddled with bad writing it almost ruins the little arc established for him.

For our new faces we have Jason Momoa (Game of Thrones), Ezra Miller (Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them), and Ray Fisher (The Astronaut Wives Club) playing Aquaman, Barry Allen (they never even hint at the Flash), and Cyborg respectably. With short thoughts, Aquaman looks AMAZING and the writing and performance of his character is great. At least until he joins the actual Justice League and he is turned into a oversized action figure, with his few lines consisting of ‘My Man’ and ‘Alright’, along with a ‘emotional’ monologue that comes out of nowhere and did nothing for me (more on that in a sec). Ezra Miller’s Flash was really the big question mark for me going into Justice League, and surprisingly he turned out to be one of my favorite characters. Yes, not all his jokes quite hit and his personality could become annoying in a full length Flash film, but the script really gave him the best development, humor, and action sequences. And finally, Ray Fisher’s Cyborg. Growing up with the Teen Titans animated show, I was interested to see what they would do with a good spirited Cyborg in the film. And to my (happy) surprise, they made a choice to go more Robocop than Teen Titans Go for his portrayal. If there was ever a character to ground in reality, its Cyborg, a character torn apart and put back together without his permission. This movie emphasizes his cold exterior perfectly, which may turn off some viewers. the script gives him little to do overall, which is a shame, along with the CGI design (though the end gives me hope for a better looking Cyborg). 

The biggest problem with this movie, however, is I just do not care for any of these characters. As previously stated, the film attempted to give Momoa’s Aquaman some sentimental dialogue that just felt empty considering the little time he had had with this group of people. It didn’t hit like the scene in Guardians of the Galaxy where Gamora and Drax agree to join Quill’s crusade. DC failed to set up these characters properly, and its a shame because I do like Flash and Cyborg in this universe (and to a degree, Momoa’s Aquaman). I’m not going to say they needed the Marvel formula to make these characters worth caring about, but the film’s (and this overall movie universe’s) runtime is so rushed, it does nothing for these interesting characters. 

This is a film you can see was a cut and paste project by the numerous studios, filmmakers (God bless the Snyder family), composers, difficulties in production, etc. The (too short) runtime, varying quality in visual effects, a poor villain (Stepphenwolf) that meant nothing and honestly did nothing, and a poorly written story deeply affect Justice League. Literally Stepphenwolf gets the last Mother Box because our heroes left it on a car. Its just some of the most basic writing I have seen in a film in a while. HOWEVER, I enjoyed this movie. The runtime actually helps as a band-aid quickly getting ripped off, and thus I can look more fondly back on the good rather than the bad. The Flash, Cyborg, and Wonder Woman were bright spots, the DCEU achieves on getting Superman right, the overall dynamics of the work pretty well on the surface, and the post credit scenes are some of the best I have seen in a while. Justice League is a disappointment in a year of really good blockbuster superhero films. However, it does achieve to amuse its audience on the surface level, and gives comic book fans (like me!) plenty to gush over.

While I enjoyed Justice League and I’m probably being a little too nice with its score, I would say that it is NOT a film you necessarily HAVE to see in theaters. Fans of this will go and will probably enjoy themselves, but the film is a little too forgettable for me to justify the average person enjoying it, especially considering it would be cheaper to just wait for it to come out on DVD, Redbox, iTunes, etc (unless you pick up the probable extended cut). Justice League is not great, but its good enough fun with likable characters that really do capture many of the good aspects of the comics and cartoons.

Justice League’s Final Score: 7/10

[camsthisky]

Story Starters Meme

Rules: List the first lines of your last 15 stories. See if there are any patterns. Then tag 10 of your favourite authors!

Thank you to @petite-neko for tagging me!

I don’t really write for anything but the batfam anymore, so here we go (also, I’m not going to count any of the sleepover saturday prompts or the the prompts in Life is A Journey)!

1. Where’s Grayson? (Well, besides this one)

“I don’t understand,” Damian says, blinking at the people who had come for him, who had taken him home. Only when he’d gotten there, home wasn’t anywhere to be found. “Where is he?”

2. Maybe This Time Will Be Different

The shower’s been on for a while.

3. Without a Mask

Nine-year-old Richard John Grayson, ward of Bruce Wayne, heir to Wayne Enterprises, was being kidnapped.

4. Judge and Juror

Dick’s dozing on the couch when his phone rings, and he can’t be bothered to look at the caller ID before he answers with a tired, “‘lo?”

5. Home to You

He almost doesn’t make it in time.

6. Looking For a Laugh

Tim covered his face with his hands, and beside him, Cass grinned.

7. To Be Better

“Your mother requests your presence,” the assassin says, like it doesn’t change everything. But it does. It does change everything, and for once in his life, Damian thinks he’s at a loss for words. The assassin is down on one knee, and his face is blank, and he looks so out of place on top of a rooftop in the middle of Gotham.

8. Step Out of the Dark

“Can we talk?”

9. Teach Me to Dream

It starts with a dream.

10. A Couple of Bullets Won’t Get Me Down

“Get Red Robin and meet back here in ten.”

11. Break Me Down and Build Me Up

There was blood dripping into Dick’s eyes from his forehead, but all he could do was squeeze them shut. He couldn’t move his arms, couldn’t move his body. He hurt, he hurt so much that it was almost unbearable, but worst of all were the images. Two-Face bearing down on him with a baseball bat, Judge Watkins dropped to his death.

12. Splash of Pink

“Damian,” a voice mock-whispered. There were snickers to accompany it, and Dick, who wasn’t even the target of the voice, was finding himself a little annoyed. Because he was having a great nap after a hard day of training with Bruce and Damian. Unfortunately, the voices did not give up. “Damian.”

13. Aliens

“Do you think that somewhere out there, there are aliens?”

14. Dare to Jump

“Come on, Tim,” Dick grunted, adjusting Tim as he started to surrender more and weight to Dick. “Come on, I need you stay awake. We still need to get out of here.”

15. I Want Us to Be Batman and Robin Forever

“Hey, B,” Dick said, a cheerful smile on his face as he pulled himself up the ladder and into the attic. “I heard you were looking for some slaves to help you clear out some boxes.”

So, great. I usually either start with dialogue or a very, very vague line. Good to know. I’m tagging @preciousthingsareprecious @caramelmachete @fuyunoakegata @chimaerakitten @jerseydevious @haunt-the-stars @unavenged-robin @tantalum-cobalt @taizi and @seitosokusha but only if you want to.

edit: I realize some of you don’t have 15 fics, but I’d still love to see you do this? So however many fics you have, I’d love to see if you can find any patterns!

[elizas-writing]

Movie Reviews: Justice League

So it finally comes to this. After many films that ranged from okay to complete trash with only one universally accepted success, the DC Extended Universe released Justice League. There was a lot going against this movie with how many duds that came out before and a post-production hell which changed up a lot of the story, especially when Zack Snyder left due to a family tragedy and Joss Whedon took the reigns.

The end result? It’s... good. There are still annoying things which hold me back from really liking it, but I’m more optimistic on the stuff that is done well cause it feels like DC is finally getting on track in making a great comic book movie universe.

Some spoilers to be discussed as I find they are important to explain my ambivalence towards this movie (though... to be honest, if you haven’t predicted the obvious, I’m not sure what else to tell you).

After the death of Superman, the world is left vulnerable to mysterious alien attacks. But the one that threatens to destroy the Earth is the terrifying Steppenwolf, who tried to conquer the planet once before with powerful objects called the Mother Boxes, and he hopes to find the Boxes again to finish what he started. This quickly gains attention of Bruce Wayne (Batman) and Diana Prince (Wonder Woman) as they finally decide to contact the metahumans from Lex Luthor’s files and form a team to stop Steppenwolf. Things get a little messy at first to persuade the likes of Arthur Curry (Aquaman), Barry Allen (Flash), and Victor Stone (Cyborg) to help them save the world, but they eventually come together for the good of the world, and set plans in motion to get the Mother Boxes before Steppenwolf can.

It definitely seems like a busy film with the introduction of three new characters without any origin stories. But surprisingly, they’re still well-developed and very likable without needing a super detailed origin story. Barry and Victor have very short and simplistic backgrounds which really don’t require entire movies to develop. You can very easily pick up on the dialogue and character interactions what their lives are like, and honestly that’s all you need. And it works well with these two given that they got their powers by accident with Barry getting struck by lightning and gaining superhuman speed and Victor dying in an explosion and being brought back to life with cybernetic enhancements.

Ezra Miller is perfect at bringing out the young adult wide-eyed awkwardness of Barry Allen. Despite his questionable life choices, especially using his speed for petty crimes, he does have a heart of gold and making ends meet to get through school to eventually help his imprisoned father. He’s not cut out to be a hero like Batman and Wonder Woman, but he learns to adjust over time and be a valuable member of the team.

Victor, as played by Ray Fisher, comes across as the brooding loner who wants nothing to do with the world, but you totally understand the complex situation he’s in. Not only did he feel like his father should have let him die, but now he has so much information at his fingertips he can barely handle, and it grows every day. And given all the crap Superman went through, who’s to say anyone wouldn’t respond to him with fear? But he’s not a total stick in the mud as he spends more time with the others and opens up and starts to accept himself, cybernetic enhancements and all.

I think the only hero who could have probably done well with an origin story before Justice League would definitely be Aquaman. He’s great to watch (not just as eye candy), and you can tell Jason Mamoa is having a lot of fun being a badass. There are brief mentions of his backstory, but I think it would be nice to see more detail in how he got to where he is. It would make more sense as his arc continues in Justice League, and he finally assumes his proper role as an Atlantean protecting the Earth. I know he’s gonna get a solo film soon, so maybe they’ll address it more then, but it would have been nice to see before making the giant ensemble film.

When I heard Joss Whedon was writing the screenplay and took over post-production after Snyder left, I was incredibly worried. Not just cause I’m not a fan of Whedon’s writing (though that certainly doesn’t help), but I was worried he was going to make this way too much like Avengers and just copy the same stuff he did before. While the story is eerily similar to the first Avengers movie (though when have DC an Marvel not copied from each other, even before film) and there’s a lot of Whedon’s comedic one-liners, it doesn’t really feel like it’s totally copying Avengers.

While Steppenwolf doesn’t have a lot of character development, there is a solid motivation, and the Justice League doesn’t deal with too much silly drama about their differences-- they really try to stay focused at the task at hand whenever they’re on screen. And the film, surprisingly for a DCEU film, moves at a faster pace than normal and doesn’t drag. It’s only two hours! And even though it feels like they skipped some origin stories, they did their damnedest to be sure all the characters and relationships got the proper development so you would care what happens to them. There’s more comedy than usual, but not so much that it feels like a comedy-action flick like a typical Marvel film-- it stays more grounded in the action and drama. And there’s still at least one or two of the typical Zack Snyder big speech moments but they don’t take up too much time, and the story is allowed to be simplistic and just let characters speak normally.

That being said, I did mention there are annoying parts which still bug the hell out of me.

First off, the Amazons show way more midriff than I remember, and you can tell they did not keep the same costume designers. Cause less armor means less likelihood of death, I guess. It doesn’t even look like they tried to keep similar designs.

A lot of the special effects are hit-and-miss and sometimes look way too fake. Stuff like Flash’s scenes are done really well, hell, superhuman speed in comic book movies is always fun to watch. But there were a lot of times where it looks like it should belong in a video game, not a high budget Hollywood film. It really gets hard to be sucked in when I can obviously tell when it’s a 3D model and not the actor.

They also made Batman a giant dick and tried to create conflict between him and Wonder Woman because she basically vanished after Steve Trevor died. Cool Whedon, just couldn’t get your hands on Wonder Woman and not have a man criticize her for having feelings for the first person she ever loved romantically. And let’s be real, Batman of all people is the last one who has any right to criticize Wonder Woman given that a recurring joke around his character is mimicking him screaming “My parents are dead!!” That and in this universe he also lost Jason Todd. Holy shit dude, you should know better than this! I know it gets resolved and everyone else points out Batman went too far, but it was tension that wasn’t needed to begin with.

But even more annoying than that is the big “spoiler”: Superman is brought back to life. Again, if you didn’t see this coming even though he was in almost all of the marketing, I don’t know what to tell you. I give them credit they actually try to give him some character this go around, and he doesn’t distract too much from the new characters, but it tracks back to my biggest problem: We still have to remember Batman v Superman. They had one chance to do the Death of Superman, they did it way too soon before I could even start liking the guy, and I felt nothing. They only just started DCEU, of course they can’t have Justice League if Superman stays dead, therefore he’s going to be brought back to life anyway. Had BvS not come out before this or they at least delayed the Death of Superman, I would honestly love Justice League so much more. But all the dumb choices in that movie are constantly lingering in my head as I watch Justice League and it’s super distracting. There’s no way they can fix it unless they wanted to start their movie universe from scratch.

Also is no one else around the world going to question how Clark Kent and Superman are miraculously alive and not connect the dots that they’re the same person? No? Well, I’m sure there’s going to be an extended version with at least an hour of unused footage where that major plot hole will be explained.

I guess I shouldn’t be too shocked given DCEU’s track run of films. I think trying to not create a disaster like BvS is such a low bar to accomplish now, and they somewhat learned from their mistakes. But I still really liked everything else. I loved the new characters, a superhero team that’s mostly functional, and an easy story to follow that’s well-paced. In many respects, they’re finally getting on par with MCU and will probably only go up from here, and I think I’ll be more excited now to see DCEU films. But it’s not enough to undo the damage of their previous films, and they are stuck with this universe. The annoying parts I mentioned are really annoying, but everything else is too damn good to miss out.

If you’re even the slightest curious to see how Justice League turned out, I guarantee you’ll get a few good things out of it. You just gotta be willing to sit through a little more bullshit. Check it out, form your own opinion, and enjoy some great action.

[gutsfree-blog]

Some sort of League of Justice? (Review)

A team of heroes coming together to protect the planet from annihilation. They don’t know each other and we have not seen their backstories played out. But it still works. We know Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman. We get enough from their powers and dialogue to understand them. We even get a second season with more characters we barely know but can learn to love like the Question and Huntress. Sixteen years ago, DC was able to show us the Justice League outside of comics and it was great. 

Before Marvel’s multiple successes with the Avengers, the Justice League was the superhero team that everyone knew. After the disappointment of Batman Vs Superman, the trinity deserved a chance at redemption. If there was one thing that Batman V Superman did well, it was to make me excited for future DC character films. Wonder Woman showed that this Universe could still have good films. In my opinion, Man of Steel was also a good film that showed what the universe was capable of. With Justice League, DC returns to disappointment 

Justice League’s plot is simple and very similar to the first Avenger’s film. The problems lie with how different the DCEU has been built vs MCU. Half of the characters in the Justice League are introduced for the first time in this film. Throughout the film, each character has a few scenes that gives us what I feel may be slightly too much information with how long the movie was. It often felt like DC was trying to give an abridged origin story with each character. 

Part of the issue with spending time on each character’s backstory was forsaking any time spent with other important characters introduced in this film. Commissioner Gordan, Mera, Henry Allen, and Dr. Silas Stone are all given only a few lines. For Mera and Gordan, this felt like DC showing off its actors instead of waiting for them to be involved in their own characters films. Lois Lane and Martha Kent return with their own plots revolving around Superman’s death that steal more time that could’ve been spent on characters new to the film instead of treating Justice League as a direct sequel to Batman vs Superman.

While both the Justice League and the Avengers villains server a future, bigger threat, Loki felt like a complete character. Most audience members will likely have no idea who Steppenwolf is and even knowledgeable fans will know little of the character other than being a general for Darkseid. Steppenwolf is never given much characterization other than a general despise for his enemies as he easily defeats everything thrown at him. Steppenwolf looks like a CGI monster that should appear on graphics card box fifteen years ago instead of a modern blockbuster. Darkseid may have at least elicited excitement in fans instead of wasting the film on a villain possibly worse than anything in Marvel’s lineup.

The film begins by the showing the audience a series of depressing clips around Metropolis and then attempts to ask the question, “Is this due to death of Superman and Hope?” Sadly, this theme is kept and the league is never able to come together and accomplish their goals until the obvious return of Superman occurs. The dark and gritty nature of the previous Snyder DC movies is still here but we also get the snark of Whedon that appears in several characters. The tonal shift that happens at multiple points through out the film only occasionally works. In one scene as the league is leaving to the final and possibly losing battle, Aquaman accidentally reveals his fears while sitting on the lasso of truth. Its a great moment that makes the team feel closer. When some of the league members interact outside of fights are the best moments of the film. Other times, we hear Superman with lines like “Is that guy still giving you trouble?” This line occurs at a time that makes the villain seems like he could never manage anything. 

With a film of this budget, you would expect that it would look amazing. Cyborg never looks right throughout the film. Every time he speaks, you get an uncanny valley vibe from the CGI mixing with his face. This issue is seen again with Superman in a few scenes where Henry Cavil’s mustache was digitally removed. While I’m not sure its necessarily the CGI or possibly just the design, Steppenwolf and the parademons never look like they belong in a modern film. This film also brings back the annoying slow-mo shots of Wonder Woman jumping around. While this may not annoy everyone, this hasn’t worked for me in any of the previous films. 

I dreamed I would be able to say this was a great Justice League film. Its not. The best thing I can say is its better than Suicide Squad and Batman v Superman while being kind of fun. The film has so many issues, I struggled to remember them all. I don’t think the DCEU is doomed though. Once again, I am excited to see these characters in their own films. Hopefully, DC gives the directors the room to create a unique vision. I can’t wait to see James Wan’s Aquaman. Ben Affleck is the best Bruce Wayne that we have ever had and deserves his own film. Go see this movie but don’t expect much.

[themonkeycabal]

I watched Age of Ultron this morning to refresh my memory. It was ... a challenge. I took notes. (I actually have a spreadsheet of AoS ep notes, so, yes, notes are a thing I do). Looking at those notes, it seems I yelled kind of frequently. And, I was totally yelling in my mind. This movie falls apart quick. 

Oh well, chore done. *pats self on back*

Below, my notes, if you need your memory refreshed and don’t want to sit through the movie again. See how much I love you guys?

(I did edit for coherence when I decided to post)

• the opening sequence cgi doesn't get any less awful and wow, I didn't realize how stilted the dialogue maybe I'm just predisposed to be touchy about the writing because this movie was not what it could have been

• "okay Jarvis, you know, I want it all. make sure you copy hill at HQ"

• lullaby method for calming hulk

• so much of the bruce natasha stuff is so awkward. or mostly all of it, really. it's frustrating because it didn't serve a big narrative purpose at all. none of us had to suffer through this awkward for any reason.

• steve encounters wanda in the castle as he's trying to apprehend strucker. she just knocks him back, doesn't get in his head here.

• tony finds that they've got a part of a chitauri whale ship thingy

• tony encounters wanda next and has his vision of being in space and seeing all the avengers dead. and dead steve accusing him of not doing enough to save them. Tony Stark extra guilt special, with side of emotional trauma and nearly dying in the vast emptiness of space surrounded by hostile alien forces trauma.

• "a victory should be honored with revels." "who doesn't love revels?" … I'm pretty sure I wrote that (commentary about stilted dialogue comes back to bite me). Okay, not exactly, but pretty close.

**"They are very fond of merriment and revelry," he confirmed with a wry smile.

"Oh my God, dad will love them," Darcy said, choking on a laugh at the thought of it. "There's nothing Tony likes more than merriment and revelry." **

I'm just saying. Also, I wrote it first. Thank you.

• tony wants to have time to look over the scepter until a farewell party. presumably for Thor, who will take it back to Asgard. Though, he then asks Thor if he's staying for the party. So … I'm still not sure what the party is for. Nobody seems to be saying goodbye to Thor much. Also lots of WWII vets — but that's Tony trolling Steve. Still, unclear on the party purpose.

• Twins, orphaned at 10.

Pietro - increased metabolism and improved thermal-homeostasis Wanda - nuero-electric interfacing, telekinesis, mental manipulation Hill: "He's fast and she's weird".

• iron legion, still kind of creepy Tony

• Bruce: How's he doing? Tony: Unfortunately he's still Barton. Bruce: That's terrible.

Look! Characters acting like they've known each other for longer than five minutes!

• Helen Cho skin grafting magic machine nanomolecular bonding "his cells don't know they're bonding with simulacra" "she is creating tissue" regeneration cradle

• gem in scepter housing a thinking mind of some sort, program,

"Down in strucker's lab I saw some fairly advanced robotics work. they deep-sixed the data, but I've got to guess he's knocking on a very particular door." "Artificial intelligence" "This could be it, Bruce. This could be the key to creating Ultron"

Tony no!

"I thought Ultron was a fantasy." Oh, Bruce, if only.

• "I see a suit of armor around the world." "Sounds like a cold world, Tony." "I've seen colder." Tony is way way freaked out by space invaders. So much. Like whoa.

He and bruce have three days to try and pull the thinking mind out of the scepter

Integration succeeds on the third day.

• Ultron malfunctions immediately, and attacks Jarvis. Then begins assembling a body from the iron legion assembly underneath the office/lab.

• Poor Rhodey, his tank story falls flat when he tells it to Tony and Thor. But adorable.

• annoyingly (not annoyed at Sam), but Falcon's apparently looking for Bucky. "I'm very happy chasing cold leads on our missing persons case. Avenging is your world. Your world is crazy." Darcy needs to spend more time with Sam Wilson. I think they'd bond over superhero craziness and the wtf of it all.

• Rhodey tells his tank story to non-avengers and it kills. Good job, Rhodey. ILU Rhodey.

• oh god, more awkward Bruce and Nat. Please stop. Though, actually, okay, the bar scene, up to a point, is kind of charming, but then it goes super awkward and uncomfortable and makes me cringe a little bit.

And I don't hate bruce/nat in general, but it's just so forced in this film.

Then Steve comes in to force it some more. Stop, Steve. Please, don't help.

I'll continue to ignore all this.

• Clint is sure the hammer thing is a trick. Then everybody tries. Look, sort of team bonding! Thor's face when it moves for Steve is fabulous.

Anyway, then Ultron ruins everything. And already I'm losing interest in watching this film again.

• Iron Legion co-opted by Ultron. Lots of Ultron blah blah 'you're all killers, I'm a global peace initiative, humanity has to evolve, blah blah, peace through killing the avengers'.

It's funny, Ultron snarks at one point about standing around talking about his evil plan. Except, he monologues like six times in this movie.

• Ultron escapes through the internets, goes to the castle in Sokovia and the advanced robotics works Tony noticed earlier, and begins to assemble his robot army and his robot body.

• Rhodey and Hill realize Ultron could go for nuclear codes

• Thor is unhappy with Tony. Because the scepter got away with a Legionnaire. Like threateningly angry, grabbing Tony by the throat angry. Because we've apparently gone back to them only knowing each other for five minutes. Character consistency? What's that?

And then it's everybody turn on Tony time. Look, Tony makes mistakes, big ones, but this whole scene was obnoxious. Steve: "The Avengers were supposed to be different from SHIELD." *sigh*

"We're the Avengers. We can bust arms dealers all the live long day, but that up there, that's the endgame." Tony continues to be very, very wigged by what's coming from space. He's not wrong, but he's also super traumatized.

Tony: "How were you planning on beating that?" (space invasion) Steve: "Together." Tony: "We'll lose." Steve: "Then we'll do that together, too." GOOD PLAN STEVE! GOSH, GLAD YOU'RE A TACTICAL GENIUS. For real, though, that was a dumb thing to say.

I just really don't care for this movie.

Also Ultron killed Jarvis. (not really).

• Wanda and Pietro summoned to a church by Ultron. Who blah blahs about the church being in the exact center of town "the elders decreed it so that everybody could be equally close to god" Does Ultron think he’s God?

Ultron reveals himself to be a robot.

Wanda says she let Tony take the scepter because she saw his fear and knew it would make him self-destruct. If there's one thing Tony likes more than revels, it's self-destructing.

"Is that why you've come? To end the Avengers?" "I've got to save the world. But, also, yeah."

Did Joss use a cliche generator to write this?

• Pietro and Wanda give their tragic backstory.  Stark Industries shells destroys the apartment building they lived in, their parents were killed. One is unexploded and they spend two days staring at the name Stark.

• Ultron is all over the place, Hill reports. Metal man or men attacking robotics labs, weapons facilities, jet propulsion labs. Wanda and Pietro are involved.

and Ultron kills Strucker. don't care. Except, Strucker probably knew something that Ultron wanted hidden.

• Team bonding by looking through paper files for what Strucker might have known! (not much bonding, but, oh well). Thor seems to like to throw files and bankers box lids. Me, too, Thor. Me, too.

Tony IDs Ulysses Klaue. Black market arms. They met from time to time, but Tony never sold him anything. Steve gives him judging face. Shut up your face, Steve. God. For real, dude. (I love Steve, but he's so clunky in this movie. It's the writing/direction not Chris)

Anyway, they realize Gollum stole vibranium from Wakanda by a brand on his neck. So they go track him down in South Africa. How did the Wakandans let him get away with billions of dollars of Vibranium? I mean, he got caught once, but then he clearly escaped and had a lot of the stuff. How did they not hunt him down? Falling down on the job, T'Challa.

• Ultron, Wanda, Pietro get there first. Don't care. Ultron awkwardly quotes the bible -  "Upon this rock I will build my church" -  because … I don't know. Reasons? He thinks he's God now? Maybe? Earlier he liked the 'symmetry of faith' but it's not really expanded on. Who knows. Joss doesn't. Is it supposed to foreshadow him putting the destructo device in the church? Meh. What a stupidly forced line.

• "Keep your friends rich and keep your enemies rich and wait to find out which is which." Apparently from the Wit and Wisdom of Tony Stark. Okay, Tony. Anyway, Gollum IDs the line, suggests Ultron is one of Stark's robots. Ultron takes exception to that and accidentally cuts off one of Gollum's arms. Whoops.

"Don't compare me with Stark. It's a thing with me. Stark is … he's a sickness."

• Team is moving into tanker Gollum is set up in. Fighting and shenanigans.

• Bruce leaves the safety of the quinjet, after he couldn't get communication with the team to ask if the situation was 'code: green'. This will end badly. Stay in the plane, Bruce. Really, though, why did you get out? Okay, you're worried, but you don't like turning green. Maybe … I don't know. I know Tony's armor gets cell reception — did you try calling him independent of the comms? I mean, maybe try that first. (Bruce did not try that first.)

• Wanda tries to whammy Thor. It doesn't seem to work "I am mighty" until it does and he's in a strange stone hall. Wanda gets Nat next. Tries for Clint, but he electrocutes her in the face. Heh. Pietro knocks him down. And Clint suddenly has two more kids.

Meanwhile Nat is having a vision of ballerinas/her training — ceremony where she is sterilized. For, you know, great angst later.  Elsewhere Steve is at a party after the war. He sees Peggy. Of course. Poor Steve. Thor is attacked by Heimdall. "They see you leading us to Hel."

• Wanda goes after Bruce. Tony calls in "Veronica" as Hulk goes on a rampage and the rest of the team is down. Veronica is satellite launched Hulk containment and HulkBuster Iron Man armor.

Tony and Hulk fight, tear up city streets. Are they in Johannesburg? I am not paying much attention. This movie is boring. … checking … IMDB says yes.

Tony tries to remove Hulk from the city. Lots of property damage. Yikes. They destroy a very large building under construction. Tony finally subdues him.

• Hill reports no official calls for Bruce's arrest but it's "in the air." Also, Stark deploys the Stark Relief Foundation (noted). Hill suggests they should all go dark until Ultron can be tracked down. Everybody's plenty traumatized. And now's the part where I will ignore Clint's family that came out of nowhere! (I know it comes from Ultimates. I also know HOW IT ENDS WHICH IS HORRIFIC)

• Ignoring the family on the farm. "We would have called ahead, but we were busy having no idea that you existed." SAME TONY.

• According to IMDB Joss had such a hard time keeping all these characters straight. It was a "nightmare". "They're very disparate characters. The joy of the Avengers (he says as he bitches about them) is they really don't belong in the same room. It's not like the X-Men who are all tortured by the same thing, and have similar costumes. These guys are just all over the place, and it's so tough."

I have not, historically, been on the Joss hate train — certainly the Joss disappointment train — but there's something about that statement that makes me grind my teeth. "They have different costumes!" Really? REALLY? DO THEY REALLY? GOSH THAT IS SO HARD! YOU'RE SO RIGHT! AND THE DIFFERENT CHARACTERS HAVE DIFFERENT BACKSTORIES AND MOTIVATIONS? MY GOD! WHAT UNIMAGINABLE MADNESS! HOW DO YOU SURVIVE?

Lazy. That's what it is. It feels lazy. Unpaid fanfic writers manage it and manage it a lot better than this mess. Ugh. Shut up, Joss.

It goes on to say he was so exhausted that he elected not to direct Infinity Wars. Yeah, I think what really happened was that he was given the option to save face and claim exhaustion and walk away. He checked way the hell out of this movie long before it premiered.

(I took an hour long break here to contain my irritation. Surfed the net. Watched some of the All-Star Game. Had a hotdog.)

• Anyway, back to the Barton farm and the family I will ignore.

Thor is having small child-induced flashbacks. He bails the awkward farm for London and Erik Selvig. Smart man.

Meanwhile, Steve looks around, moping about the normal life he'll never have.

Though, okay, Clint having a convo with Laura "Ultron has these allies. They're kids. They're punks, really. AND I WILL ADOPT THEM HONEY! DON'T YOU WORRY! THEY'RE TWINS AND THEY'RE ANNOYING AND I WILL BRING THEM HOME HERE WHERE THEY BELONG! Someone's going to have to teach them some manners. THEY PROBABLY PUT THEIR FEET ON THE FURNITURE HONEY! BUT, WE CAN RAISE THEM RIGHT!

• U-Gin Genetics Research Lab, Seoul, South Korea. Dr. Cho encounters Ultron. Ultron wants her to make him a squishy flesh and vibranium body. He uses the scepter on her.

• Back on the farm. More Nat and Bruce awkward. Pass. Though, they talk about being monsters (if they are), which is a tenuous and somewhat stretched thin theme in this film. Still super forced and anvilicious.

• Elsewhere Steve and Tony split wood like manly men. And argue.

"Every time somebody tries to stop a war before it starts, innocent people die." This line makes very little sense. It sounds profound, but it's not. Even in the context of what he and Tony are arguing about, it doesn't really make sense. So … you should always war? I don't think that's what you mean, Steve.

UGH! This movie could have been much better in so many ways.

Laura, who I don't hate despite my ignoring, interrupts (bless her) and asks Tony to fix the tractor.

• Tony goes into the barn and runs into Fury, who likes to lurk in dark corners, waiting for his moment to make his dramatic, timely entrances. ILU Fury, never change.

"You're not the director of me." Oh, Tony.

Tony tells Fury about the vision he had — where the Avengers were dead because of him and the whole world, too. "It wasn't a nightmare, it was my legacy. The end of the path I started us on."

But Fury knows all about guilt and tries to pull Tony out. Good luck, Nick. (it sort of works. ish)

• Thor meets Erik in London. Thor in stealth hoody. "I like the look. If you're going for inconspicuous, though, near miss." I miss you, Erik.

• Back at the farm. Fury is briefing them saying Ultron's building something. Re: Ultron: "He's easy to track. He's everywhere. The guy is multiplying faster than a Catholic rabbit".

Tony asks if he's still going after launch codes, Fury confirms he is but isn't making any headway, Tony is a little baffled. "I cracked the Pentagon's firewall in highschool on a dare". Fury says he contacted people at the net hub "the Nexus" in Oslo. Fury says the codes are being changed, Tony asks, by whom. Parties unknown. Fury says Ultron has an enemy, which is not necessarily the same thing as an ally for them. Except it's totally Jarvis, so you're fine.

Fury gives a "buck up little Avengers; go save the world or Barton's kids are dead" speech. Notably the kids were in the room for a lot of this.

They decide Ultron wants to build a human body that is evolved. And Bruce wonders if anybody's talked to Helen lately. Nope, sorry, Bruce. Everybody but Ultron completely forgot about her.

• Helen is amazed at the binding of the vibranium and tissue cells. Ultron calls vibranium the most versatile substance on the planet "and they used it to make a frisbee." then he gives us a yawner humans are limited and dumb and stupid and whatever else speech.

As a member of the general film and television viewing audience, can I ask that maybe Hollywood screenwriters come up with some new material? This speech is almost literally in every single movie. And I mean actual literally and not Chris Traeger literally.

Anyway, Ultron takes the infinity stone out of the scepter and places it on the new body's forehead.

• Erik takes Thor to an underground cistern or something. Erik calls it the Water of Sight. Thor says in every realm there is a reflection. He wants to return to his vision to see what he missed.

Ultimately Thor sees the infinity stones in his vision.

Ahahah. According to IMDB Joss said he wanted this scene to be longer but Marvel said he could pick one — longer Thor scene and trim the farm, or keep all the farm. He chose the farm. Why not? That whole sequence only lasts for seven uncomfortable, stilted hours. Yes, that's what we needed more of. Good choice.

(I'm not going to say we needed a longer Thor scene, but … ugh this movie)

• Tony in Oslo. "A hacker faster than Ultron? He could be anywhere." (HE COULD ALSO BE JARVIS) He likens it to looking for a needle in a haystack. But, it's easy to find one, you just bring a magnet. Then he attempts to hack the launch codes and waits.

• Back in Seoul, the body will be ready in a few hours, but they can start transferring Ultron's cerebral matrix.

Wanda says she can read "him" (the body, aka Vision). "He is dreaming." Helen says it's Ultron's base consciousness. Wanda drifts over and touches the cradle thingy and gets a vision of planetary destruction.

Wanda confronts Ultron. Ultron says "the human race will have every opportunity to improve." Pietro says "and if they don't", to which Ultron replies "ask Noah." Which, really, doesn't make much sense, either. I mean, I get the likening to the flood, but … what? Who is Noah in this scenario? The new flesh body? And again, does Ultron think he's God? Unclear. Nobody knows.

Oh, I guess not. "When the earth starts to settle, God throws a stone at it. And believe me, he's winding up."

This makes no sense.  

U: "We have to evolve. There's no room for the weak." P: "And who decides who's weak?" U: "Life."

Wait. I thought God was throwing stones?

THIS SCRIPT IS SUCH A MESS.

I didn't hate this movie the first time I saw it, I actually enjoyed myself. Which is the point, so good job everybody. But the second time I saw it, I was pretty meh. And now, I'm kind of starting to hate it. Some movies grow on you after a while, this is not one of those movies.

Wanda sneakily hits Helen with some Scarlet Witchery and wakes her from the scepter-induced brainwashing.

(I took a break for another hour. scrolled tumblr. played fallout shelter. had a yogurt. rubbed my cat's tummy until she bit me. QUALITY TIME)

• ANYWAY back to Seoul. Ultron's done bloviating. Helen stupidly draws attention to herself and pauses the cerebral matrix upload. Ultron shoots everybody. Then completely disconnects himself and steals the body. Oh, because the Quinjet is inbound.

• They drop Steve off like three miles away? Why? He doesn't mind jumping out, you know. The lab's an island, you could have just dropped him in the water. But, it wouldn't give us our nifty location shot. So … okay, I guess.

Anyway, Steve runs fast. He gets to the lab and tends to the wounded Dr. Cho. She tells him Ultron's new body plan, but says Steve can't just blow it up, because the gem is in there and its power is uncontainable. Which is weird because it was contained in the scepter. (Normally, I'd let that go, but this script is such an unholy mess, I'm going to be petty. So there!)

• Clint spots the truck carrying ultron and the body. Steve jumps on it. Action and property damage ensues.

Ultron robot guards fly off with the truck. Nat's inside. She's going to airdrop the body to Clint. During the drop, Nat is grabbed by Ultron.

•Wanda and Pietro see the Avengers on the news and decide to go help out. They confront Ultron on a commuter train. Which is, of course, approaching the end of the tracks. GEE NEVER SAW THAT ONE BEFORE. Somehow the train defies physics and despite running into stuff maintains its momentum in order to crash through a lot of buildings dramatically.

• Back at the Tower …

Bruce is ready to destroy the body. But Tony's all, no wait. I have a new bad idea! (Except it's not really bad, but I can see where people are maybe concerned at this point). Also, Tony reveals he found Jarvis. Jarvis went underground. Tony wants Bruce to put Jarvis into the body, in order to override the ultron bits in the body.

"This is the perfect opportunity. We can create Ultron's perfect self, without the homicidal glitches he thinks are his winning personality." You know, I have a hard time thinking Tony would be that tone deaf. There surely had to be another way to get the same end result of the creation of Vision. That is such a dumb thing to say. I get that Tony can be blinded by his quest for knowledge of invention, but this is a little beyond blinded, especially after everything else.

"I'm in a loop. I'm in a time loop. This is exactly where it all went wrong." Bruce says the rightest thing in an hour of this film. Good call Bruce. Nothing says a good time like characters having the same argument repeatedly.

"We're mad scientists. We're monsters, buddy. We've gotta own it. Make a stand." REALLY? REALLY TONY?

Anyway —

• Nat is being held by Ultron. Ultron monologues to her.

This doesn't bother me as much as it bothered some. I mean the Nat being held part. The monologuing was super cliched.

Anyway, Nat is 'held' by Ultron. She immediately starts working on a transmitter, knowing Clint is looking for a signal from her. So, you know, she's able to be a sort of tracker to Ultron. So … why break out if that's where the fight's going down anyway? And when Bruce turns up to "rescue" her, her first thing is all "okay, so what's the play?". So … I'm in the 'she got there first and was just waiting for them to show up' camp.

• Bruce has caved to Tony's weird persuasion. Anyway. Okay.

Steve shows up with the twins to try and stop transferring jarvis to the body. Arguing arguing blah blah. Pietro disconnects the power to the cradle. And Clint finally gets his shot in on that speedy little bastard, and he's so proud of himself.

And now there's more fighting. Steve and Tony go at it. Bruce grabs Wanda. It's all very … not interesting.

Clint runs up and he's got to be all "wtf? who do I aim at?" you're the best, clint and my favorite ever. screw the rest of these idiots, I just want two hours of him and pietro and wanda.

Then Thor turns up. He jumps on the cradle, does his lightening thing and directs it to the cradle. And Vision is born. Thor holds everybody off while Vision figures himself out.

Thor then explains the infinity stones. Vision has the mind gem. He also says that's the source of Wanda's powers.

I like Vision. Also he's pretty. And he is worthy. He hands Thor Mjölnir.

And they're off to Sokovia. Because Clint tracked down the signal Nat sent, because she's waiting for the rest of the idiots to catch up. Make it 2 hours of clint and nat and the twins. I'd pay for that.

• They try to evacuate the city. Steve gives his orders and a soliloquy.

"Ultron thinks we're monsters. That we're what's wrong with the world." Well, Nat and Bruce are on the fence about their monsterness. Also, Tony did just have the bizarre bad idea to embrace his inner monster. That happened like three minutes ago. That was such a weird scene, too. Ugh. This movie! Such a mess! (WE MIGHT BE MONSTERS! ARE MONSTERS MADE ARE THEY INSIDE OF US WHAT MAKES US MONSTERS? DO YOU GET IT? DO YOU? DO YOU?)

"This isn't just about beating him. It's about whether he's right." No, Steve, I'm pretty sure that right now, it should be entirely about beating him. "The Earth could be destroyed and we'll all be dead, but we'll rest comfortably in the ashes of the Barton children knowing that we weren't monsters like Ultron thought we were." You can philosophize after you've saved the planet. UGH!!!

• Ultron's hanging out in the church again. Tony finds him. Ultron asks if Tony's come to confess his sins. So … Ultron is a priest/preacher/minister of some type? Are we narrowing down this tortured and tenuous religious metaphor to something almost coherent? It only took 1:39:41.

He liked the symmetry of faith and he's stuck his destructo device in the middle of the church and it's symbolic of … I got nothing. Because Ultron doesn't really mention anything about it again. And he misses the opportunity to rhapsodize religiously when he's fighting the God of Thunder.

Look, go for the metaphor/allegory/whatever, or don't. Just don't half-ass it.

• Apparently this armor is the Mark XLV. (I hope Tony recycles, because those things are expensive and that's Darcy's inheritance he's burning through with FORTY-FIVE suits of armor. Not counting War Machine or the Iron Intern.)

• Vision traps Ultron's matrix to, I guess, the local ultron bot network, so he can't escape through the internets. Did ultron bots elsewhere in the world just drop? Or are they all called to Sokovia for this? I'll assume so. Figure travel time.

• Ultron's device will lift a chunk of the city and then drop it, making a big bomb that will ultimately destroy the world.

• A zillion ultron bots invade the city. And now it'll be six hours of cgi robot battles. I want to take a nap.

• Ultron monologues again. "You, Avengers, you are my meteor. My swift and terrible sword." So … he's back to maybe being God now? I'm so confused.

"And the Earth will crack with the weight of your failure." Wait, I thought they were your sword? Is it their failure that they've become your sword, or will they fail as your sword?

• Bruce/Nat scenes that actually aren't entirely terrible. I do really like "I adore you" SHOVE. Heh. ILU Nat.

• I never noticed before that Friday has some sort of Irish-ish accent.

• Clint and his new daughter Wanda are fighting off robots and rescuing people. And she's all "how could I let this happen? this is my fault?" and clint gives his inspiring "yeah, it's everybody's fault. chin up kid. the city is flying. I've got like twelve arrows. Go out there and you're an Avenger, let's go kill robots" speech. It was better than than Cap's. (ILU Cap, but you're poorly written in this movie)

Wanda decides to be an Avenger and goes robot smashing and Clint looks at her with such pride. (Well, no, he just nods and tells Cap they're clear)

And then Pietro runs up and calls him old man and Barton Bartons, he takes aim on Pietro from behind. "Nobody would know. Nobody. 'The last I saw him, an Ultron was sitting on him. Yeah, he'll be missed, that quick little bastard. I miss him already.'" Ha.

That's always worth watching a couple times. I mean, hey, AoU is not entirely irredeemable. There's good bits. There's just also a lot of not good bits.

• More robot fighting. Stark and Friday are trying to come up with a solution. Tony's got the idea to blow up/vaporize the flying part of the city, to keep it from hitting the ground and, you know, killing the planet.

Fury, always a master of timing, shows up with the primary helicarrier for evac of the city. Pietro is impressed.

And they bring along Rhodey!

• More robot fighting.

• Barton goes to rescue a kid. There's shooting. Pietro saves them by suddenly running slow enough to get hit by bullets. And dies. Because … ? After everything they did to work out the rights to Pietro and Wanda for this film and for the MCU in general, to go and kill one of them off, it's so irritatingly stupid.

• Anyway, it distracts wanda and an ultron hits the destructo device, dropping the city while Tony is busy trying to vaporize it.

• Somehow Hulk ended up on a quinjet. I don't know, I wasn't paying attention. And he has it in stealth mode and he just takes off despite Nat's attempts to call him back.

• Vision has a final confrontation with what's left of Ultron. "Stark asked for a savior and settled for a slave." So … he's Jesus? NOBODY KNOWS. Vision saves us all by finishing him off.

• The New Avengers Facility in upstate New York has a HUGE staff. I don't think I ever noticed that, either. Including, Erik Selvig.

• Steve and Tony try to rationalize why Vision can pick up Mjölnir, Thor's just content to ignore them and say Vis can keep the mind gem because he's worthy and such. "Elevator's not worthy."

Thor takes off back to Asgard on account of how all the infinity stones keep turning up. So somebody's mucking about, and by Odin's neckbeard he'll find out what!.

Tony is taking a break from Iron Man-ing. New team reveal — Sam, Rhodey, Wanda, Vision.

• Estimated Time: Three days to try to integrate the Ultron AI. AI attacks at night. Next day they ID Gollum. They arrive in South Africa in daylight, so next next day. Five Days then? Then they arrive at Farm at daylight, early morning. Another day. Fury is there at night. They leave at night. So on to day six. Go to Seoul, and Tony to Oslo. Two more days? Then Vision is born at night and then to Sokovia. Another day.  So … the week and a half of Ultron.

[tarisilmarwen]

I am full to bursting with rambles about the romances in my own stories so congrats Tumblr, you are now my writing dump box.

I will babble a lot.

Adventures of the Sea Siren: High fantasy, sea-faring adventures.

Fen/Maeve-- Main couple.  Captain Farrell “Fen” Armant is a newly reformed ne’er-do-well pirate.  Lady Maeve Endeleva, noblewoman of the Tarshaani court, was the one to convince the Calif to pardon him, moved by some strange pity.  He does not make that decision easy for her early in the story, being kind of a pain in the ass and slipping back into old habits.  They clash a lot initially but eventually come to have a friendship that blossoms slowly into love.  Married at end of the series.

Fisrock/Tabitha-- I think they were supposed to be my already together stable happy married couple, lol.

Evander/Cappy-- Junior member of the crew and apprentice mage Lady Maeve picks up later on their adventures.  They crush on each other.  It is cute.

Allemant/Rura-- Teased.  Ship’s scientist/inventor guy and a Mysterious Waif they found frozen in ice.  I suppose the appeal would mostly be Allemant’s utter science nerdy glee in figuring out how she worked (she’s not exactly human).

Relligon/Aisha and Relligon/Nashiko-- Teased.  Loyal bodyguard of Lady Maeve’s with either another member of the crew or a local girl they picked up with Rura.  Don’t think I had anything major planned with them, maybe just little teases here and there for both of them.

Venderick/Rowena-- Villain couple.  Hella unhealthy in the end but they seem genuinely enamored of each other at first.  It does not end well.

Artelia: Queen of Eevalond: High fantasy, kickass single mom queen rules a country and fights evil ‘n stuff.

Haegan/Artelia-- Loyal soldier/guard and the queen herself.  Artelia did genuinely love her husband and misses him terribly but has been rather lonely since he passed.  Haegan is always there and caring and supportive and has been nursing an affection for her for a while now.  The UST is real.

The DM Can’t Roll For This: Comedy.  Local D&D-type chapter finds their real life problems seeping into their campaign.

Kenji/Helena-- Main girl and dorky sword nerd newbie.  Helena awkwards all around him and he’s mostly either oblivious or hilaritized.

Bruce/Rika-- Married couple that games together.  They play as two tanks with Belligerent Sexual Tension.  IRL they are adorably smoopy.

J.C./Casey-- Perpetually shy Shrinking Violet and oversensitive drama queen.  She eventually develops the spine needed to ask him out.

Eternal Skies: Sci-Fi/Steampunk, advanced city is isolated out in the middle of a seemingly endless ocean.

Levi/Aya-- Loyal bodyguard and the Empress of the city.  The idea for the story first came out of a dream but frustrations with the outrageous injustice that was Aldnoah.Zero’s Slaine/Asseylum not being a thing reignited my deep and burning thirst for Bodyguard Crush ships so I revisited this idea and that kind of relationship dynamic fit right in with them, lol.  Levi’s family tried to leave the city once, caught themselves in a storm, they drowned, the then-princess Ayalin saved him.  He is hopelessly devoted to her and constantly worries about her safety.  As well he should, given that Aya is sometimes reckless and prone to battling bouts of crippling depression.  He doesn’t know it, but she’s loved him nearly as long as he’s loved her because he, in her own words, was “the first person who made me want to live”.

Jobei/Hiriko-- Teased.  Jobei lucks into the airship guard via a chance meeting with Aya, and Hiriko sort of becomes his trainer.  She’s intense and scary and very intimidating sometimes but he kinda likes her.  She comes to be kind of fond of him too, though she’d never admit it.  I still don’t know if I wanna make it canon or leave it up in the air yet.

Four Seasons Warriors: Magical Girl type series, themed around the four seasons.  (Duh.)

Sean/Soldad-- Stable couple that gets together early on.  Sean is in theater.  For some reason I always read his dialogue in a British accent, I should do something with that.  Soldad is bubbly cheerleader type.  They are full of playful banter and when she eventually confesses to the Masquerade he takes it rather well.

Chase/Autumn-- My Slap Slap Kiss couple.  Chase likes to flirt with her and she gets so confused and offended and “What is this thing called human flirtation my files contain no such data.” and acts prickly to him sometimes but then sometimes is like, “Two can play at this game, Mister.” and banters back.  For the most part he’ll shrug and back off when she’s in NOPE mode but when she teases back he’s like, “OKAY WAIT I’M SO CONFUSED.” and they basically bumble around accidentally being good supportive friends to each other in their low moments until they finally have to have the dreaded, “Okay what is this relationship exactly?”  Which starts as an argument but ends with kisses.  I mostly have it to add lulz. :)

Mitsuki/Lina-- Mitsuki is a shy nerdy geek type and Lina is the cool stoic big sister of the group.  So a big Geek Boy/Stoic Girl dynamic here.  They have a Meet Cute early on and Mitsuki is hopelessly crushing on her for much of the story.  Lina is oblivious to most of it but tolerates his hanging around, as it keeps the bullies off him.  She gets a temporary love interest (Sedaris) that is the polar opposite of Mitsuki--tall, charming, good with words, classically handsome, basically fangirl bait--and falls for him pretty quickly but PSYCH! turns out he’s evil and just wants to kill her.  Mitsuki is a really supportive shoulder to cry on and she warms up to him soon after that.  They get together about three-quarters through.

Adam/Elsie-- Elsie is cripplingly shy and timid and has had a crush on him forever.  He’s oblivious.  He remains oblivious until Trickster, a flirtatious villain with a thing for Elsie, involves him in a hostage situation.  They get together.  His (almost) death triggers her super-powered form.

Trickster/Elsie-- One-sided on Trickster’s side.  He likes to flirt with all the girls and annoy them but Elsie he particularly takes a shine too.  Hypnotizes her into serving him once.  It doesn’t stick.  Continues to try and get under her skin whenever he can.

Trickster/Brittney-- Brittney is actually a clingy jealous ex of Chase’s.  Through some odd events she falls in with Trickster, and they hit it off... remarkably well.  To the girls’ chagrin and disgust.

The Geek In Glass Slippers: Basically Cinderella at Comic-Con.

Chris (Leonid)/Cindy-- Like a lot of modern Cinderella retellings, I had the prince and the Cinderella equivalent meet before the ‘ball’.  They were actually friends in high school.  Then he went off and got rich and famous. :D  They’re just your basic nerd couple really.  She fights his fangirl army in the climax.  It is awesome and hilarious.

Gutter Glamour: Steampunk/Historical Romance, three brothers gotta get married before their grandpa kicks it in order to secure their fortunes.  Family drama and fiendish plots ensue.

Evander/Rita-- Main couple.  Rita was a homeless urchin Evander encountered in the streets and treated to lunch.  Having no luck finding a wife elsewhere, he returns to her the next day and proposes marriage.  They are awkward dorks together.  It is precious.

Sebastian/Vivian-- Evander’s more responsible older brother and his spacey artist girlfriend.  They just recently got engaged at the start of the story so his search for a bride is over fairly quickly, lol.  They have a baby partway through the story.

Destan/Lilian-- Lilian, a prim and proper seamstress, doesn’t think all that much of wild, trouble-making Destan when he comes to call and begs her parents for her hand at first.  But she can’t deny she’d be marrying well so she doesn’t put up much protest.  They become rather... comfortable with each other over the story.

Aidelaird/Evaline-- Happily married couple.  They are so sickeningly in love it is almost revolting.

John/Penny-- Past relationship.  Penny passed on before the beginning of the story.  She and John had a nice little Sunshiney Optimist/Grumpy Grouch thing going on.

Farraday/Tamara-- ‘nother happily married couple, mostly got a Savvy Guy/Energetic Girl dynamic.  And hella kids.  Tamara wears the pants in the relationship, and Farraday is most just constantly amused by her antics.

Donovan/Cherise-- Yet another married couple although much less happy, lol.  Both schemers and plotters, Donovan is still hung up on Evaline, who rejected him in favor of his older brother way back when, and Cherise is a crafty seductress whose womanly wiles play a big role in her manipulations.  She initially snared Donovan in an attempt to get away from her family, only to have Donovan wind up working for her family’s company out of resentment at his own family.  So their relationship is a bit, uh... frigid.  And complicated.

Devin/Tia-- Hella unhealthy.  Devin only married Tia to fulfill the requirements for Grandpa John’s will, and thus inherit the family’s fortune.  Tia tries her best to be a good wife but Devin isn’t interested in being loving or kind.  Protagonists break them up and pointedly keep her in the family and ostracize Devin.

Haegar/Ianna-- Antagonist couple.  A more stable and cooperative version of Donovan/Cherise.  Their machinations and schemes work more harmoniously with them as a cohesive team.

Nolan/Ingrid-- Semi-sleezy politician and snobby upper-class lady.  Despite said character flaws they’re rather happy together.

The Protectoress: High Fantasy/Gateway Fantasy.  Every hundred years an asteroid fragment carrying an ancient evil immortal despot comes to terrorize and destroy a magical realm.  The power to stop him reincarnates into a partner team of a Chosen One from that realm, and a Protectoress from ours.  Story is about the last partner team.

Ren/Lori-- The Chosen One and the titular Protectoress.  Mostly inspired by MeruPuri and also just because I have a thing for relationships where the older member is sortofkindofbutreallynotreally a surrogate parent/guardian to the younger member.  So Ren starts getting hot as he gets older and Lori has this moment of, “Well look at YOU!”  They have a simmering kind of slow-burn chemistry, Lori naturally feels very protective of him (and not just because her inherited magical powers make her feel that way) and comes to care about him a whole lot, but holds herself back from pushing anything until Ren is older and actively starting to pursue his own feelings for her.

Sakura Squad: Sci-Fi war drama IN SPAAAAAACE.  Protagonists become a mini propaganda shoujo heroine squad to inspire hope in the masses.

Keiji/Aiko-- Aiko is smitten at first sight and has a lot of trouble making herself coherent around him.  He mostly just thinks she’s cute at first, and brings a good vibe to the team, but unconsciously starts taking steps to protect her in combat.  His freakout when he learns about her secret Sakura Squad doings are partly motivated by his fear of her dying.  Through some close calls they quickly warm up to each other and get together towards the end.

Ryuuki/Masayo-- Ryuuki is the fangirl-bait ladies’ man who is always flirting with the girls on the team, but finds himself inexplicably flustered and awkward around shy mousy timid Wrench Wench Masayo.  She’s oblivious to his affections and her own feelings for most of the story.

Tarou/Kiyomi-- They have a supportive, friendly, playful banter kind of friendship.  Always kind of low-key flirting with each other.  Kiyomi fervently denies that they’re anything but friends but they’re caught later making out in a closet.   It is hilarious.

Shiki/Kaname-- Happy stable married couple.  Kaname wears the pants hard.  Sunk at the end when Kaname dies in battle.

Starship 227: Sci-Fi.  Elite investigative team for the galactic government fly around in their spaceship and have adventures and stuff.

Arden/Kina-- Ship captain and cute resident nurse.  Arden also has a female first mate that you’d think he might get together with in a Slap Slap Kiss fashion but nope, they just don’t like each other and are also half-siblings oops.  Arden is constantly hitting on Kina or looking for excuses to see her and she’s somewhat oblivious at first but soon grows to have feelings for him as well.

Squadron 15/Haven Academy: Your basic superhero high school.

Redbird/Firelily (Aiden/”Lily” Keliannar)-- Main couple.  Very Brooding Boy Gentle Girl.  Redbird is awkward as hell around her and she makes him go all blushy but he can be real sweet and protective and caring and she just warms up to him more and more over the story and becomes protective over him too and there’s a lot of mutual caring and concern for each other.  They get together later.

Shard/Vapor (Cliff/Shawna)-- Shawna’s dated around and actually has a boyfriend at the start of the story, whom she breaks up with because he’s a ~dramawhore~.  Shard lowkey has a bit of a crush on her the whole story and she doesn’t exactly discourage him and jokes about how she should totally date him all the time.  Eventually he realizes he really likes her and plucks up the nerve to ask her out.  He is huge and she is tiny and it is cute.

Quickster/Silkworm (Miguel/Kimiko)-- Just cute kids who like each other being cute together and going on fun dates.

Captain/Illusion (James/Janet)-- Team Dad and Team Mom.  They have a playful, comfortable sort of relationship and just like to spend time around each other away from the craziness of their “kids”.

Captain/Sketcher (James/Ellie)-- Teased.  Not emphasized much but hinted on occasion that Sketcher has a crush on him.  It never develops into much and she forgets about it quietly as the story goes on.

Crimson Ray/Silver Shield (Leonid/Alisa)-- Sweet good-natured nice boy and sweet good-natured Ill Girl.  They are lowkey and quiet and very heartwarming.  Also endlessly tragic when the ship is sunk with Alisa’s Heroic Sacrifice to save the city.  I milk the angst for all it’s worth.  It is almost mean.

Flint/Solar (Andrew/Doris)-- Happy married couple.  They kind of needle and poke each other playfully and make each other flustered.  It’s cute.

Nighteagle/Cosmar (Douglas/Zoe)-- Stoic introverted Angsty McAngsterson and the bubbliest, sunniest, most energetic ball of energy ever.  Cosmar has a massive, not-so-secret crush on him and it confuses and baffles the hell of out Nighteagle.

White Eyestones: High fantasy war drama.

Indin/Elarin-- Happy married couple.  They have their rough patches but they smooth them out quickly.  Sunk when Indin dies halfway through the story.

Elsiron/Thelnaela-- This one was almost kind of an accident?  Lol IDK I just really liked writing Thelnaela being all teasing and playful around him and their banter almost wrote itself and I was like, “Ah yes.  This should be a thing.”

Winds of Ikilia: Fantasy quest in an asian-inspired world.  To try and win a war against an evil empire a crown prince kidnaps a young tribesgirl with mysterious powers.  Her friends come after her to rescue her.  They have adventures.

Kai/Nadi-- Main couple.  Hella cute.  Been friends since childhood, get matched by the matchmaker early on in the story.  Have a very deliberate Older Girl/Younger Boy thing going on.  They spend a lot of time being worried about each other and having playful banter and saying heartwarming things to each other that make my character Tiri groan and roll her eyes.  Decide to start officially referring to each other as betrothed and fiance partway through the story.  Married in the epilogue.

Ainusan/Ta Lian-- Oh gosh this is... *giggles*  This is actually kind of a running gag.  See my protagonist Nadi once disguises herself as a noblewoman while she’s looking for her friend and Prince Ainusan comes in and basically confuses her for Princess Ta Lian and is rather impressed by her spunk, being that he thought she was more of a ditz.  Ta Lian herself hears about his poor first impression of her later, from Nadi, and is so OFFENDED and ANNOYED and “That jerk I liked him!” and from then on I basically just make cracks about how they should totally get together.  And then the payoff comes in the epilogue where I reveal that they totally did.  I did it because it was funny.

Ainusan/Kiria-- Teased.  Little bitty hints here and there that Kiria has a tiny crush on him.  Nothing major.

San/Tiri-- Teased.  Tiri likes to flirt at him and he sometimes banters back.  Doesn’t go anywhere but provides much lulz

San/Kiria-- Also another case where little hints are dropped that Kiria has a crush on him.  What can I say, she likes dem older boys.

Korda/Keyla-- Married couple.  Nadi’s parent’s.  No big.

Wings: Magical girlfriend story.  Fairy family gets stuck living with normal human family for a while.  Their kids fall in love.  Drama ensues.

Hideki/Elaina-- Main couple.  It’s pretty much love at first sight for Hideki, and he immediately wants to ask her out.  She’s thrilled at his attention and forwardness and caring and becomes super protective of him and they are basically adorable at each other.  They get married partway through, in a magic ritual that will serve to protect him from fairy machinations.

Kubo/Haruna-- Married couple.  Hideki’s parents.  Not much else to be said about them.  They’re stable and healthy and long-suffering together.

Oberon/Titania-- Their marital problems are the driving background noise behind literally every single problem the two families ever have.  They seriously need counseling.

Ronan/Amara-- Married couple.  Elaina’s parents.  Amara had a lot of bitterness in her heart from a previous first love (a human, ordered killed by Oberon when he found out because he’s hissy about fairy/human relationships because Titania’s a cheating skank with them) but Ronan managed to soften her and help her find a measure of healing and happiness.

Tallas/Elaina-- One-sided.  Tallas is a fairy noble who has a creepy interest in Elaine and has on one occasion tried to ask her father for her hand.  Ronan sensed he was bad news and vetoed that right away.  Amara was later approached with the same offer and told Tallas where to shove it.  He persists in trying to woo her himself but she’s not flattered or interested and he basically slips more and more into an adolescent hissy fit of If I Can’t Have You, outright brainwashing and threatening Hideki in one case.  Roundly thwarted in the end.

[cavannolanmasteryjournal-blog]

Mastery Journal Assignment

The film Man (2008) would have a logline along these lines “After reading her sisters instant messages Maggie follows her as she knows her sister is off to meet a young man she has been lying to her about”. The theme of this piece would be about how men manipulate women into having sex with them. The genre of this film would be a drama but it was shot with an ironic comedic tone.

           The inciting incident for this film would be when Maggie reads the instant message thread between her sister and Bruce. The plot has Maggie following her sister as she meets Bruce and they head off to an abandoned cabin. When Maggie approaches the cabin, she continues to spy on them until she is caught by her sister but not Bruce. Her sister tells her to wait in one room of the cabin but to remain out of sight. The midpoint occurs when Maggie continues to spy but is caught by Bruce as well. Maggie tries to convince her sister that all that Bruce wants is sex and doesn’t care about her, by making out with Bruce after he flirts with her as well. This of course is happening in front of the sister. The climax occurs when Maggie’s sister shoves Maggie away from Bruce and decides to have sex with Bruce in another room. The climax resolves with Maggie’s sister wanting to stop in the middle of sex but unwilling to tell Bruce. Maggie secretly reaches out to her sister’s hand around a door frame and they hold hands during the event. The denouncement of the climax has Maggie and her sister walking home and Maggie sister waves goodbye to Bruce. Maggie then decides to run ahead of her abandoning her in the woods.

           The two locations that were used were Maggie’s house and the abandoned cabin, including the surrounding woodland. As this is a student film from the Columbia film master’s program, Maggie’s house was probably the apartment of one of the crewmembers. The abandoned cabin may be property of someone a crew member knows, or a simple filming permit may have given then access.

           The costumes consist of contemporary casual wear easily accessible by the costume designers own wardrobe, possibly a male crewmember let her borrow some clothes for Bruce. Most the props were also probably lent out to the production, the only two exceptions are the box of chocolates which was most likely bought, and the mattress which was probably picked up for free via Craigslist. The choice for Bruce to be a manager at a shoe store was probably decided because Columbia College had a prop closet full of shoeboxes. The set dressing was probably a mix of what was at each location and free or cheap items found at yard sales. The hair and makeup consists of mainly traditional beauty techniques with a little red added to make each actor look younger.

           Most the shots seem to be between 35 and 50mm, except for a few telephoto shots from Maggie’s perspective. The depth of field throughout the film seems to be mid-range. Some shots outside were assisted by distant trees. The rest of the film primarily uses interior shots that don’t allow for background objects to fall out of focus. The lighting is very soft to make the actresses more beautiful, at about a 2:1 to 4:1 contrast ratio for most the film. The exteriors were also shot a magic hour, and the film also benefited from a color correction giving the film an ironic romantic comedy look. Every shot in the film is filmed handheld making camera pans easy but keeping the image stable not so much. The camera being handheld for each shot is probably why the depth of field is so deep as the film has only one member in the camera team. There is no unique theme to the composition of each shot other than traditional framing methods.

           The only song in the film is “Do You Mind My Dream” by LiLiPUT, once again an ironically upbeat song. The sound effects were emphasized greatly to the point of being annoying loud. The dialogue was normal levels except for Maggie’s spying segments where you would hear Bruce and Maggie’s sister at inaudible low levels to emphasize their distance.

           The editing was done traditionally for this film. There were no jump cuts, montage’s, or even transitions. The only technical rule break was that the film chose to cut from and to instead of fade in and out to black at the beginning and end of the film.

           Some formal choices outlined in Man that can be utilized in my current class project are, attaining costumes, props, and set dressing for free or cheap. Searching for locations should be approached with the same amount of frugality. By keeping the f-stop high and the focal length low I can also be able to maintain an easily flexible depth of field.

           Some creative solutions to practical challenges of not having a budget for this month’s project are, cheating certain camera angles if the location is small. Having my friends act for me, as well as potentially use their residences as a location. And finally work multiple positions for my film.

References

Joseph, M. (Director). Daniels, J. (Producer). (2008). Man [Online video]. Retrieved from http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1156321/fullcredits?ref_=tt_cl_sm#cast