#British people pronounce tortilla like turtle-a

[elodieunderglass]

I can’t let you guys continue this conversation without pointing out that they’re different meals with different recipes. Boston baked beans (USA) have a molasses/brown sugar/bacon/onion profile and when properly prepared are closer to a thick cassoulet - not so much a soup-type dish as a sort of solid preparation that you can pretty much shape into a mound, like in the thumbnail of that video. They’re thick, sticky and dark brown.

UK beans, as in beans-on-toast, are in a loose tomato sauce. They do not mound; they spread. The tomato sauce is rather like a more sophisticated spaghettiO sauce in texture, and in taste is pleasant but with a strong tomato profile, much like ketchup.

Sure they have shared roots but this is like starting off your post by saying “ketchup is the same thing as barbecue sauce.” Well, yes, if you zoom out enough, sure! But also, on the more conventional plane, no.

Yes, UK haricot beans in tomato sauce are adapted entirely from indigenous American plant engineering (haricot beans and tomatoes.) no, they did not invent the concept.

No, most Americans will not recognise what is being served when handed a portion of Branston’s. Yes, British people are startled and excited when I produce actual baked beans, which they perceive to be more aligned with a sort of chilli con carne. They are deeply related dishes that exist in conversation with each other and are both influenced by colonialism, but as a dish you might serve someone, they are pretty different in texture, taste, colour, intention, ingredients, and all the sort of things that we look for when describing a food.

Anyway here’s a recipe for my evil UK fusion gluten free huevos rancheros, which will be violently disclaimed as an abomination by every culture involved in the violence of its creation :

Have on hand:

- leftover cooked chicken or pork, chopped or shredded by hand. I usually do this with leftover roast chicken carcass.

- tin of branston beans. I strongly dislike Heinz for not letting you stack the tins. Fuck them.

- enough Sweet Baby Ray’s BBQ sauce (gluten free, available at Tesco/asda/Sainsbury’s in the world food section)

- a lot of whatever fajita seasoning you use to taste

-old El Paso GF tortilla wraps found in the GF section. You can do this with the gluten version, but it will do you good to have to have a recipe written the other way ‘round.

-eggs

-avocado

-shredded cheese

-sour cream, or use up crème fraiche or Greek yogurt if that’s what you have left

-pesto or basil leaves lmao

Shred meat and mix with beans. Heat the meat within the beans with the spices and bbq sauce.

Fry the tortillas on both sides until Activated. (Pronounce them tor-TEE-ya, not turtle-a, thanks). Set aside. You may rub with pesto.

Use that pan to fry eggs UK style. Runny yolks but cooked on top.

Order of assembly: tortilla, beans, fried egg on top. Decorate egg with cheese, sour cream, chopped avocado. Sprinkle basil leaves or coriander if people like coriander.

Surprisingly successful with children, high protein, gluten free, cheap and easy, uses up leftover meat and stuff you probably have around, not too difficult, will cause people on the internet to shout at you. You’re welcome.

Baked beans are an American dish adapted from a similar dish first made by native Americans and baked beans were first canned in the US and then brought to Britain where the British decided to start putting them on toast and calling them a British food. And I’ve started to realize that some British people think that we think beans on toast is strange because we don’t have baked beans. When in fact we’ve had baked beans this whole time. We brought the baked beans over there. We just think it’s mildly confusing that Brits put them on toast.