#Both physically from the groupchat and physically from earth

[irl-batsignal]

"Why don't you talk in the family groupchat, Duke?"

Because the last time I did Tim replied to me and instantly Damian and Jason attatcked Tim

[ievaxol]

If G'raha hadn't known where to look, the entrance to Wyrmblood Studio would have passed him by entirely. It hides down a stair in the very corner of the building, the unlit sign impossible to spot unless you look right down at it.

It's like the studio doesn't want to be found by any person just passing by and he swallows, suddenly nervous that they won't be very welcoming. This isn't his usual -- crowd? Scene?

Urianger had been the one to recommend it as soon as he heard that G'raha was considering a piercing, praising both the professionalism and care.

"Especially when I got mine nip --" -- and that's where G'raha cut in and asked for the address, firetruck red from hairline down to his neck.

"Forsooth", Urianger had said with a twinkle in his eye when G'raha accepted the business card, "I doth believe thou wilst find what thou art searching for within their walls."

And now, here he is, clutching that self-same business card in one sweaty hand while pushing the door open with the other.

"H-hello?"

What first strikes him is the music, loud, gritty electronic beats with a bass so deep it hits like a physical pounding in his chest. Following that is the cleanliness -- the place smells like disinfectant and every surface is spick and span.

He looks around, eyes wide, until his gaze snags on the person lounging behind the counter. An Elezen man who looks strikingly familiar is comfortably reclined in an office chair, chewing thoughtfully on a squid-shaped snack.

"Hey," The man says as soon as he's finished eating, leaning over to turn the music down. "Haven't seen you around before."

Oh gods. The tone is neutral -- no hostility yet -- but G'raha can feel his hackles rise as the man surveys him from top til toe.

He knows what he looks like with his hair neatly clipped to the sides, wearing a beige pullover and simple slacks. It wouldn't be the first time he's had to defend his place somewhere however and he squares his shoulders, ready to unleash two years of rhetorical classes in one go when the man speaks: "What're you looking for?"

As soon as he hears the guys voice, familiarity clicks and before he can swallow the words down G'raha blurts out:

"You're Estinien Varlineau!"

Foot; meet mouth. Estinien's eyes narrow and G'raha winces. He'd said that too loudly and with way too much enthusiasm considering he's never actually met the man before, only heard about him through work gossip.

"I mean. I'm G'raha. I've heard of you? You looked familiar and as soon as I heard you speak, aha, I knew where I knew you from. Not that I know you, but you know. Not me! But --"

Wordlessly Estinien rustles the bag for another squid-snack, popping it in his mouth and chewing as he watches G'raha rapidly cycle through the five stages of social anxiety grief.

"I --" G'raha sighs when he finally lands on acceptance, ears pressed flat against his head. "I'm sorry, that was strange. I'm in the market for a piercing and my friend Urianger sent me here."

"Urianger, huh." Estinien's face twists into an expression that G'raha can't quite get a read on. "I shouldn't have given him those cards."

"You know, I can leave if it's a bad time..."

Oh yes! Get out of this situation, his brain screams in relief. Leave and never come back. Abscond. Go scorched earth and change your name while you're at it.

"No, no." Estinien waves the bag of snacks in the air, looking even more annoyed. "We can do a piercing. Although I'm not the one who does them, my partner is. I'm the tattoo guy."

Partner?

Before G'raha has the chance to ask, Estinien swivels on the chair and stalks off behind the heavy black curtains that cuts the reception off from the rest of the studio.

A minute passes. It's enough time for G'raha to send a panicked text into the Scion groupchat only to watch Krile place two different kind of laugh-cry reacts on it. Urianger sends a single thumbs up and the groan that leaves G'raha comes from the heart.

The curtains rustle and Estinien emerges, followed by a tall woman with pitch black hair and piercing, sea-foam green eyes.

[aphrodite-would-be-proud]

Reading through your wedding post made me so happy, but then I read about Falco's family 😭 Do you think you could write some of your headcannons of you and Reiner watching Falco for a week while his brother goes on a business trip or something. I can only picture by the end of the week that the house is full of the kids because none of them want to go home because Falco misses his brother and hes sad!! 😭😭

I'm so happy you enjoyed it! And that's such a sweet and thoughtful request how could i say no :( my god it sounds like the perfect comfort fic to write and honestly Falco deserves it💛

And the kiddos comforting Falco is a really adorable idea especially since he's the one looking out for everyone and comforting them most of the time, i can only imagine how loved he'd be by them.

Falco spending a week with you and Reiner

{ Reiner x reader | tw:deceased parents tw:neglectful parents | reverse comfort, fluff | modern }

{ "Tales of Enchantment" by Frank O. Salisbury 1874–1962 }

Around 5am, you and Reiner were waiting in the living room, each holding a cup of coffee. In the past days you got a call from Colt, asking if you can take care of Falco for a week, he sounded really apologetic and so you reassured him it's not trouble at all.

Apparently him and Zeke had a work related trip to a far away town, being understaffed in that town and all, the situation was dire and they couldn't refuse without their rating taking a huge hit not to mention morally too. But as a compensation, the company promised a higher pay to make their effort worth it.

You didn't notice the repeated knocking on the door till a couple seconds later, lack of sleep delaying your senses.

Opening it, you were met with an anxious Colt carrying his little brother in his arms, still asleep in his pajamas. Zeke from behind him carrying a couple bags and backpacks, he waved to you with a smile.

As Reiner took Falco in his arms and some of the bags too, you carried his Marvel school backpack and a list Colt made for all the things Falco needed and liked. He seemed to put a lot of effort in it, somethings in it you didn't even know yourself.

While tucking Falco in your bed, Reiner couldn't help but express his worry over Colt working himself to exhausting, both mentally and physically.

Yeah it was only a temporary thing till Colt graduates college and finds a stable good paying job, whilst taking care of his little brother as much as he can. He's been carrying Falco's responsibility on his shoulder since the funeral without a twitch or a complaint.

You think back to all the times you saw Colt, most being for mere minutes when he came to drop off the kids or pick them up just as his classes ended and before his shift at work started, barely having time for himself yet he chose to spend that little remaining free time on Falco and his friends.

You sit next to Reiner on the bed, gently brushing Falco's hair away from his face as he's sound asleep. He always looked up to his brother more than anyone else and would never let anyone talk badly about him.

It's like his own personal superhero.

"Do you think he'll be sad knowing he didn't get to say goodbye before Colt left?" You ask, still looking at Falco.

Reiner thinks for a moment before answering, "probably, but won't show it" he secures the blanket more around Falco, "sometimes I wonder who's more stubborn with showing their emotions, Gabi or Falco."

"I'd say Zofia wins the acting Oscar" you turn the lights off on your way out, "wasn't it for Udo, we wouldn't know how she's feeling half the time."

Around 10am, a very sleepy Falco merges out of the dark bedroom. Making his way to sit between you and Reiner on the couch, while carrying a blanket around him.

He leans into Reiner's hand when he strokes Falco's hair while you secure the blanket around him. Seeming unusual quiet, you and Reiner shared a knowing concerned look.

Offering to make him his favourite food for breakfast got a smiles out of Falco, Reiner even let him choose what shapes he wants his sunny side eggs as.

While he went to cook and prepare food, Falco shyly leans into your lap as if testing the water.

Please assure him it's okay to seek physical comfort from you, wrap your arms around him and he'll be embarrassed at first to ask to sit on your lap but will love it afterwards.

Just don't tell anyone about it okay? It's something his parents used to do when he was little.

When he heard about Gabi coming over today, he seemed to light up. While Udo and Zofia have weekend music lessons they couldn't make it till tomorrow.

While looking away, he asked if you could watch teen titans go with him.

The rest of the day went smoothly after that, Falco was a good kid in general and a really helpful and understanding person. He helped you both with chores and even attempted to cook pancakes.

While it came out burned, don't tell him that! He's really worried so please make him know you loved it and it was super delicious.

You and Reiner even took him to the dogs park nearby, he had pet so many good dogs till he couldn't count, even played fetch with one. After that you got ice cream on the way back.

When Gabi finally arrived, full of energy and enthusiastic about Falco staying over meaning she too will be staying over

All hell broke loose, it's like a switch had been flipped and the well behaved good boy Falco you know was completely weoponised by Gabi as she pulled him into her mischiefs

By himself, Falco is a good kid, well behaved, polite and responsible for his age. But with adding Gabi to the mix? They're a force to be reckon with.

You could see that Reiner was trying his hardest to deny that his closest cousin Gabi, was the bad influence on other kids all along.

You know? The one leading you off a cliff that your moms tells you not to follow? The rebellious kid with very strong opinions and the will to fist fight god? Yeah that one.

Apparently, no one gave Falco the cliff talk yet because he seemed far too eager to follow her to the end of the earth and down that cliff, he'd even jump hand in hand with her just to protect her from the sharp rocks under.

Gabi was actually looking forward to Falco staying over, since either way she'd spend a couple of days with you and Reiner whenever her parents are away or are too busy. She can't handle feeling lonely in the house, it's one of the worst feelings she's ever experienced.

It reached a point that Reiner gave her a copy of the keys, just so she could come in whenever even if you were at work. He too didn't like the idea of her being alone in a house all by herself, yet her parents didn't seem bothered at all.

But now she has a friend to spend the time with!

Falco was finding comfort in the fact that him and Gabi are currently in similar situations, while his was temporarily he felt better knowing he wasn't alone in this.

By the end of the the day, they managed to build a pillow fort in your living room. No one allowed to enter unless they're bearing offerings snacks

Around 10pm, when both of them fall asleep inside the fort. Falco hugging a pillow to his chest while Gabi still had a controller in her hand.

Of course Reiner took some pictures, how could he not? Especially with the way Falco's fingers were tangled with Gabi's as she had cookie crumbs around her mouth.

He also sent it to the groupchat Zeke made, reassuring Colt that Falco is having the time of his life whilst also sharing their adorable cousins with the rest of his friends.

The week went by faster than anyone could notice, good times always fly fast eh?

Each morning you and Reiner would walk Falco to the school bus before watching him sit next to Udo, sending him off with packed lunch and waving as the bus went away.

After school the rest of the kiddos will come with him home, keeping him company and helping him with homework too. They'd make sure to play Videgames right after.

Porco actually took over the duty of taking Zofia and Udo back to their houses, let's just say their mothers didn't like him at all, but reluctantly agreed after Reiner assured them he's a close family friend.

Each day around 6pm, Colt would video call him on his work break, sometimes with Zeke and other times alone. Falco would tell him about his day and Colt would praise him for all the good work he's done, he'd even share stories of his own and remind him to brush his teeth and eat his vegetables.

After each call, Falco will be noticeably more...down. can you blame him? He really misses him brother.

Sit next to him and hug him close please, he really needs it but he can't bring himself to ask for it. Soothe away his worries and don't mention it if his eyes start watering, just pull him against your chest and let him cry his heart out.

On nights he's particularly sad, he'd sneak into your bedroom to sleep between you and Reiner. It's something he used to do back when he was little, he can't help but miss his parents.

It makes him feel safe so make sure to keep a space for him in there always.

Please stroke his hair till he falls asleep like his mother used to do each night, and let him lean against you while watching cartoons like his father did.

You also noticed how...dotting the kiddos are around him during these times.

Gabi is more gentle with him, even willing to play the games he wants instead of hers. She always teams up with him and her words whenever they win make him smile.

Zofia shares her food with him, something so scarce. She gives up her turn on the tv for him and even defends his choice in what to watch if the others complain.

Udo is the one making him space on the school bus and walking with him home too. Helping him with his homework and holding his hand whenever he seemed to get sad.

Udo and Falco are a great emotional support to each other, they're not afraid to speak about their emotions to the other.

And naturally they're the most comforting, with Zofia botteling up her own emotions and Gabi wrestling through it, it's the two of them who work as the group emotional support backbone.

Reiner couldn't stop talking to you about how proud he is of Udo when he saw him comforting Falco these days, you couldn't agree more.

By the end of the week, the three kids were surrounding Falco on the couch as they played Mario karts.

Zofia was threatening to throw hands with whoever threw that blue shell at her making her last place, Gabi was too busy securing her first place spot.

Udo was leaving strategtic traps in his trail while in third place, making Zofia even more frustrated as she fell into every single one.

Falco was racing with Gabi in second place, attempting to push her kart or power through to the finish line.

When the black and white line came into view, Gabi and Falco's karts were separate by mere inches, both of them attempting to outrun the other.

And when Gabi managed to get a hold of the first spot for three seconds, a flying blue shell knocked her away. Making Falco the winner as he crossed the line.

To this day, Gabi doesn't know if which one of Zofia and Udo were the cause of her demise, but oh she will find the traitor and they will pay.

After that intense scene, they all shared a bag of cookies she brought from home! It was animal shaped.

[btxtreads]

ANOTHER TAG ASHJHJASD

extra long tag game (aka a tmi that no one particularly cares for)

tagged by @txthearteu​

tagging @markhyucknorenminchenji​ @qtsoobin​ @beomberry​ @txtdiaries​ and other people who wanna do it idk

ONE

tell me the first song that made you stan your current fave group and why did your faves attract you so much?

of course, none other than king943 hSJADJSAJHAS. He’s a little secret I’ll let you all in on: the first person I actually noticed in TXT was,,,,,,, Kang Taehyun hSDHJAHJSDAHSA but he wasn’t my bias. I just thought he was cute (also amused me bc my BTS bias was Taehyung and I found a guy named Taehyun cute), but I didn’t stan them then. I started stanning when I saw ONE DREAM.TXT where they talked to BTS and found them really cute and endearing. Looking into them, they were wild, and chaotic and so fun and also i got rEAAAALLY attached to Soobin. So here I am. There u go, my stanning story.

TWO

rule: answer the ten questions and write your own!

what’s your unrealistic goal for life?

becoming a famous actress or singer hJSHADJSA

if you had known that we would be in a global pandemic, what’s one thing that you would’ve done before things shut down (if they have for you)?

Went to a theme park. I miss going to theme parks 🥺

what’s an unconventional thing that you carry around with you when you go out?

hmmm most of the time i just go out with just my phone and money unless I need to bring a bag due to safety concerns/more items needed. So I’d say nothing unconventional.

favourite type of plushies and why?

God do I seem boring hsahsajjsa but i wasn’t too big on plushies. I had a gigantic teddy bear named Justin when I was a kid (it’s a bear with shades that my brother gave me) and I used to buy plushies whenever I’m in disneyland, it’s all in my sister’s reading lounge. The only plushie in my room now is a Mollang doll wearing like a blue shirt/dress, it’s my favorite rn It’s squishyyyy

favourite song right now?

right now, it’s Work It by Sabrina Carpenter.

something that you’ve always wanted to learn?

Dancing (i literally suck. i have no idea how. no joke), Vocal Lessons (had some lessons briefly for like a year but i stopped and want to take some again), music production, acting, hosting

tell a funny story about yourself (or just something that you’ve witnessed)

ok okok so one time in our class groupchat we were talking about class elections for officers. There were muse votes and some people were saying they want me to be the muse but i didnt want to bc i was busy with work. Then they started saying that they want me to be the muse and this guy that i rejected be the escort. while this is happening, i was simping hard for soobin in another chat. anyways, i got everything mixed up and accidentally sent the soobin simp stuff to the class chat and everyone thought i was simping for the classmate i rejected i was so asHAMED.

headphones or speakers? why?

speakers! idk i just like blastic the music loud.

craving any food right now? what are you craving?

anything with cheese

which music streaming platform do you prefer? why?

spotify since its free for me askjjksad someone pays for my subscription lmaooo

😌✌️

questions from cj to me:

android or apple? why?

APPLE because im loyal 😌 and i guess im just used to it so its easier to use for me + all my gadgets at home are mac

words of affirmation or physical affection? why?

I think there should be a good balance of both. The words will have the ability to give you this sense of comfort and satisfaction and you know just overall a peace of mind when you hear the right words??? and physical affection bc sometimes it’s just better to get a hug or a kiss isntead of talking yk? actions speak louder than words sometimes

bean bag or rocking chair? why?

Honestly, this would depend. If I’m reading a book and feeling very vintage with a hot cup of coffee, definitely a rocking chair. If I’m watching TV and basically just chilling I’d go for Bean Bag. I like maintaining the atmosphere.

do you view a half-filled glass as half-full or half-empty or an in-between? why? (go as deep as you can)

I view it as in-between, because there’s always room for improvement. There’s always things to change, and consider, and make better. There’s no such thing as perfect.

If someone were to grant your wish right now, what would it be and why?

Please stop corona right now and let everyone go back to their daily lives and please let me attend a TXT concert bls im begging on my kNEES

if someone were to give you anything you want right now, what would it be and why? (something that can be held)

Give me Soobin I just want to give him a hug. this is valid i can hold him

favorite season and why

Winter! Even if I’ve never experienced snow or winter before, the whole idea of snow is just really fun and endearing to me. One of my bucketlists is to see snow in real life. I think it has to do with the fact that I’ve always been this person to prefer the cold over heat.

what made you enter tumblr?

I’ve always been here! Just not in kpop tumblr. I’ve since deleted my old accounts and shame  but i came back to write. It’s always been so stress-relieving to me, to write without any expectations on my back because I’m thinking about grades or a competition. Also Soobin simping is a daily thing and I gotta release it somewhere man

are you happy with where you are in life right now? why or why not?

Yes. I may not be the richest or the prettiest, or smartest or whatever, but I have a good family that loves me. I have good friends that support me and I have TXT and BTS to help me cope when things get overwhelming. I have a job that gives me a little bit of income (it’s not too common for college students here to get jobs like in the US, most of them just focus on acads) and all the means to continue my education amidst the pandemic. So really, I’m grateful for where I am now.

to see the boys in real life but for it to happen only once in your lifetime, or to meet the boys via online fan meeting as many times as you can in your lifetime? why?

Why do you have to do me dirty cj,,,,, prolly online. I may not get to hug them or anything but I get to talk to them still. As may times as I want to. And as a girl whose sanity literally just depends on Soobin giggles rn it’ll be very therapeutic to me to see them and talk to them as much as I could, even just through a screen.

QUESTIONS FROM ME TO YOU:

Cinema or Netflix? Why?

Fire or Rain? Why?

What’s the worst experience you’ve had as a KPOP stan?

How do you handle stress?

Favorite Disney Princess and why?

Which fictional character do you say you relate the most to?

How did you get into KPOP?

What kind of merch you got 👀

Would you date a KPOP idol? What would you do if you do date one? (doesnt have to be your bias, just wanna see what y’all would do)

Would you rather be with someone you love but doesn’t love you back or be with someone that loves yu but you don’t love them back? (Or, as the Filipinos would say, Mahal ko o Mahal Ako)

THREE

rule: bold the statements that apply to you, italicize your aspirations, then tag nine people.

AIR ༉⋆͙̈

i have small hands / i love the night sky / i watch animals and birds when i pass them by / i drink herbal tea / i wake to see the dawn / the smell of dust is comforting / i’m valued for being wise / i prefer books to music / i meditate / i find joy in learning new truths from the world around me

FIRE ༉⋆͙̈

i don’t have straight hair / i like to wear ripped jeans and overalls / i play an organized sport / i love dogs / i am not afraid of adventure / i love to talk to strangers / i always try new foods / i enjoy road trips / summer is my favorite season / my radio is always playing

WATER ༉⋆͙̈

i wear bracelets on my wrists / i love the bustle of the city / i have more than one set of piercings / i read poetry / i love the sound of a thunderstorm / i want to travel the world / i sleep past midday most days / i love simply lit dinners and fluorescent signs / i rewatch kids shows out of nostalgia / i see emotions in colors not words

EARTH ༉⋆͙̈

i wear glasses or contacts / i enjoy doing the laundry / i am a vegetarian or vegan / i have an excellent sense of time / my humor is very cheerful / i am a valued advisor to my friends / i believe in true love / i love this chill of mountain air / i’m always listening to music / i am highly trusted by the people in my life

AETHER ༉⋆͙̈

i go without makeup in my daily life / i make my own artwork / i keep on track of my tasks and time / i always know true north / i see beauty in everything / i can always smell flowers / i smile at everyone i pass by / i always fear history repeating itself / i have recovered from a mental disorder / i can love unconditionally

FOUR

PERSONAL

name: -

nickname: rina

birthday: - 

zodiac: gemini

nationality: filipino

languages: english, filipino 

gender: female

sexuality: straight

height: 5′2 like 2 years ago, i probably grew like an inch or two 

BLOG STUFF

inspiration for muse: --

meaning behind my url: bts and txt fanfics to read hasjhsahj

blog established: ,,,,, i cant remember askjjksdjkdsa but the blog is only a few months old!

followers: 384!!! love yall 

FAVORITES

favourite animals: b u n n y y y y y

favourite books: CAMP HALF BLOOD SERIES BY RICK RIORDAN IM ZEUS’ DAUGHTER YALL

favourite colour: black, blue, purple

favourite fictional characters: Percy Jackson, Jaron from Ascendance Trilogy, Chimmy!!! hihi

favourite flower: white roses

favourite scent: coffee

favourite season: winter

RANDOM

average hours of sleep: 3-5 or 8-10.

cats or dogs: dogs because cats scare me

coffee, tea or hot chocolate: coffee!!! especially if it’s iced and sweet

current time: 12:21 AM

dream trip: California. Look I have the visa, pls miss rona. just leave so cali can just let me IN

dream job: actress or singer

hobbies: writing, reading, watching crackvids

hogwarts house: gryffindor

last movie watched: Work It (bc it has sabrina carpenter ahshsahsa i have low standards when we talk about Sabrina)

last song listened to: Helpless - Hamilton OBC

no. of blankets you sleep with: 1

random fact(s): if given the chance again, I would go on a date in high school. Also try to exert more effort in my appearance back then i looked like an honest to god M E S S (tbh i still do but now i have eyebrow liner on) hsajhsajhh

FIVE

10 things I can’t stop listening to (at the moment)

Run Away - TXT

Work It - Sabrina Carpenter

Euphoria - BTS

Song Cry - Yeonjun

Helpless - Hamilton OBC

Satisfied - Hamilton OBC

Journey to the past - Anastasia OBC

Lost in the Woods - Frozen OST

Perfect Song - Sabrina Carpenter

Friends - BTS

[bayardboy]

God Told a Good Joke Today: On Being Present (tw pet death)

“We often feel helpless in the face of suffering, especially the suffering of those closet to us, and we wonder how we can help. Simple acts of kindness are so meaningful... food can be so much more than physical nourishment. Or perhaps you offer a flower from your own garden, or just listen to the fears and feelings of someone who is suffering, so they know they are not alone. Sometimes just being there with an open heart and a presence grounded in peace and serenity is enough.” - Ram Dass, Polishing the Mirror, 2013.

If you’ve read the trigger warning, you may get a sense of where this story is going... but I would encourage you to laugh with me, in good faith, at what transpired this weekend.

My house has been talking about getting a cat for sometime; Sierra wants an orange kitten named Ichigo, after the Bleach character. Gabby tells us their friend is looking to rehome his old cat, who is being bullied by the other (4!) cats in the house. So, on Saturday, I come down the attic ladder to see Woolie standing on the woodwork.

This cat is beautiful. Purebred Himalayan with sky shining from his eyes and fur like fog. A tuft of fur off the tip of his tail, dark ears that flatten when he asks for his head to be pet, a tiny pink mouth with a mrowl that echoes. 14 years old, moving so gently his footsteps don’t seem to make sounds.

This cat is stressed. We did all the wrong things bringing him home; immediately introducing him to a dog, moving his litter box four times, feeding him brand new treats, and dropping him in the house without a safe space to call his own. Half of our roommates didn’t even know he was coming, until three days before!  Having rehomed a friendly cat Leo in August (a story for another time), I had read some of the tips, so I sit with Woolie as he spun around me and became more familiar with my scent. Then, I let him call my room, his.

Over the next few days, he does not eat; just sleeps in the sunshine on my lofted bed, and asks me to pet him mid-night. He ventures around the kitchen and living rooms, occupying all chairs at one point or another, encouraged to explore. He loves music, looking especially relaxed listening to Bruno Major and Haley Heynderickx. The Book of Love by Magnetic Zeros made him set his head down in the sweetest way.

The other roommates notice his stomach contracting and pulsating in a concerning way chalked up to stress. By Tuesday, I decide to call the vet. Adam, who has had this cat its whole life, offers to pay for the vet visit.

Wednesday, we think he is doing better. He has not eaten. He is a great addition to the house, helping us avoid our existent tensions by talking about how cute he is. He is inquisitive, but never adventurous.

Thursday, we wake up early to drive him. I hope to avoid the visit when he eats some wet food for the first time, but Adam encourages us to go anyway. We put on Bruno Major in the car while driving past my old apartment. The receptionist tells us he is due for many types of tests, so we go down the street to a familiar cafe. I take one bite of my burger before getting the phone call: “Yes, the stressful breathing is compensation for not getting enough air to the lungs, so we’ve taken an x-ray. This cat has cancer.”

I call Adam, cognizant I’ve never heard his voice before. After phone tag with the clinic, he tells us he can’t be there when they put him down, because his sister is having a baby today! He asks us to have the remains sent to his house. 

So, Vic and I go back into the office, and they allow us to stand in a tiny room, double-masked, to pet him and see him off. We cry, a lot, but when they ask us if we want to be witness to his passing, we both say yes. 

I am reminded in this moment of a Ram Dass quote: “To learn how to die is to learn how to live, and the way you do that is by living each moment by being here now. The moment when the soul leaves the body is palpable and deeply profound. To share consciousness with a person who is dying is one of the most exquisite manifestations of service.” He was referring to humans when he said this, but in the moment when Woolie looks out the window at the pink spring blossoms, I am shaken by the feeling to mourn, and to celebrate. I say a silent prayer for God to bring this soul back into Adam’s life, and for his passing to be peaceful. We say goodbye to the body.

We sit by the Willamette river, Vic & I, and I have a Regina Spektor song in my head, “Laughing with God”. Throwing stones in the river, we talk about how to break the news to our roommates: in that moment our phones buzz, and Gabby has already screenshotted Adam’s mourning instagram post to the groupchat. 

Home is dark and quiet tonight, with grief lingering in empty hallways like a stench. 

So why do I think this story is funny? Come on, it’s a little funny. To meet a kitty, get him accustomed to our house, build a relationship, then see him through the end of his life in five days? To do everything wrong situationally, then for life to win out and take its natural, God-given course anyway? He was a sick cat when we got him, and there was no way to know. 

Spending the last few days of Woolie’s life with him was such a gift. I can’t help but think we were collateral damage in God acting in Adam’s life, although I can’t begin to guess at God’s plan. Bringing comfort to this animal with all the attention he asked for! Being finally attentive to his compounding health issues! Being present for his cat’s death, as Adam is called to celebrate the birth of his sister’s child! 

When I first encountered this particular Ram Dass text, I was able to sit with it; I was on a road trip, and over the course of ten days I read these many speeches. I learned to be patient with elders and my self, and that only the body dies and becomes cadaver. 

Returning today, I am reminded today that matter can neither be created, nor destroyed; but everything dies. We are witnessing the suffering of our entire world, but there is a chance for a peaceful death, and somehow I feel comforted, even consoled, by that. 

Death is treated as something morbid, something to be avoided, but we must be aware of it if we are to live. We should be grateful of the moment we go to sleep even as we are afraid of the next morning. I am smiling as I write this. I was of service to an animal that brought love and light into my life for a few meaningful days.

Of course I am smiling with tears cascading down my face. I will acknowledge here that I am not sharing my feelings I believe could bring harm to someone reading this story. My intention is to heal with words, both myself and my reader. Healing is non-linear, but in this moment of being ALIVE, we can choose to release our anger, our grief, little by little, like air from a pocket.

Be Here Now! Use the time you have to LAUGH and RELEASE! to experience the depth of emotion in the moments every human knows. 

 Being aware of our heartbeats is the greatest gift we can give to ourselves. A moment of recognition that we are on this Earth; You Are Here! Be Here Now!

And isn’t it funny, that after all this, we’re still fucking here? and if we’re lucky, we’ll be here tomorrow? And the next day? and the next day... if we’re lucky.

[queencryo]

@silly-go-round is asleep right now.

i guess i should make a journal for the past few days. as good a time as any. as AMY. heh. cuz shes super good and amazing. heh.

uh...... lessee.... for the two days after the last journal i just. hung out at the house while silly worked. i managed to not keep her in bed and make her late the second day. hung out a lot, watched more adventure time, worked on my tumblr filter script (lie. i judt ran it on my main. 200 posts / day is a bitchhhh) , played a good amount of ds3 (to pointof tetris effect at a couple points the nexg few days)

also did some like. helpful tasks. washed some dishes (undone quicklu, but. eh). not enough, mot as much as i shouldve, but... i tried i guess.

alao we've like. said the same thing at the dame time a Lot while ive been here and its like. nice. its really nice. same wavelength! i feel so close go her.

oh! alxo night before last we went grocery shoping. got food for prolly enoygh for the two weeks, but i guess we'll see. also a cheesecake! it was.... echausting. hily fuck it was exhaysting. jesus. the store was big and it took like 3 hours and $200 to get everything but. we did itttt.

we both mentionef that like. it felt nice to like. have a full fridge 2gether. cuz. it feels like were gonna have a futjre togetjer? u know. like that is. i love her a lot and it feels good for this to feel like a home for a little while. we hope that it can be so in tbe future.

so YESTERDAY she finally FINALLY taught me how to play magic the gathering. it was. a long time coming. but she brought me into the store and like. sat me down w some regulars and had me play commander. i played moooostly her snake deck, so like.that was fun!! i kept talki g about how i woulda gotten lorescale Coatl up to 39/39 and flying, had i like. gotten q more turn. but on that game D was running a mill deck that was. extremely long to play (that game took like ~>2 hours ugh), and was very bery annoying, so i didnt get to actually do that.

but it was fun! part of me wants to blog everything, but i dont think i will.

im glad to be able to use silly's decks, bc i dont think i want to make my own. im considering making a cheap angel deck or smth, but we'll see if yhat actually ends up happening.

i also met her girlfriend Iz, who is sweet. i played magic w her fkr a while, which was fun! she was runni g an annoying mono black deck (i kkow all these... these Terms and Words now, its incredible...)

shes sweet and i think i like her. dunno if enough to date yet (which makes me Partially regret flirting w her so much in the groupchat but. hey)

talked w her some, mostly about magic, hung out while silly closed the store, pet her cat, silly discovered that cyddling w TWO girlfriends is very nice (not rhat id know ;;;;;;;), was good times. i dont think im as comfy w izzy physically yet as i may have implied in messages, which hopefully wull be rectified by the message i just sent her (my initial physical comfort with people varies, it depends very much on the person)

skip forward, me and silly make a pizza at home cuz were fuckin tired, she admonishes me for not eating for uh... like 11 hours or smth (that mornings bagel was VERY good tho omg), but adderall, so like... meh.

uh... i dont think anything else on yesterday...

today! we waaamted to go to the store at like. 2. but in actuality got there at like! 330.

i went back to sleep cuz im a losenerd, and she. made this breakfast casserole thing. which hse put into a bagel abd brought to me bc i guess shes the best person on the entire earth oh my GOD. jesus

skip... apparently she knows maximum the hormone and doesnt like them very much... fair fair. (cause for xeath)

came to the store agai. tofay. it was fun and good. iz didnt come in today, do played some more with regulars. played w what is apparently called a blink deck, which revolvea arounf exiling cards then immediately bringing them back, to capitalize on "when this enters battlefield, do smth" cards. neat!

i DID actually manage to win today!!! the victory was. literally handed to me, but like. thats fine! i was playing silly's uhhh... elintor the masked? idr her name :( the mask planewalker! deck, which. i had SO much land, most of wh8ch was enchanfed. meaning it could be tapped then untapped w eljntor's thing, then tapped again for DOUBLE MANA. i mean. i had like 9/turn even b4 that but. BUT. i also had. i think i drew 3 creatures total. bit anyway. i had the white card that gave me a life whenever a creature was put on tge board (and also, w another enchantment, made all non-me creagurss and enchantments enter the board tapped, so. nya). so... rob had a card what dealt one damGe to all other players whenevr he puta. creature on the board. then he played united forces, which lets each player commit X mana to create X 1/1 soldier tokens on all players' boards. so. we made 28 white soldier tokens on everyones board. this killed perry, ans gave me, uh. 56 life (84 - 28). i then attacked ron for 28 w the soldiers, and drew sacred mesa, which lets me sacrifice 2 mana (1 any color, 1 white, but i had so many cards that said "this land can instead be tapped for 2 of any color, so like. ueah) to create a 1/1 flying pegasus token. so i. ended the game w 44 white 1/1 tokens. goblins get fucked.attack w my ssoldiers cuz his were tapped, so brought him down to 7 life. i didng catch what he did w the enchantment, but i think he said he like. put a copy of every creature on my side of the board onto his board, and then. cipying that enchantment 3 times. so. holy FUCK. wow. BUT those all came in tapped and i had 18 flying yokens, so. i still won! yay!!!! i won a game of magic!!!!!

goblin decks scare me. stop running krenko you fucks. exponential goblins goddamn

silly would come by every so often and like. look over my dhoulder and say "oh that was dumb whyd u use fabricate for thay" which is fair. but also god i love her. (i used fabricate for a mana generator insteaf of lightning greaves. whateverrrr) i love her so much dear god. i wish i coukd help w the store more, but. on the same time i also. dont enjoy working. so. maybe part time.

hm. what ekse. oh yeah i kove her so much.

by the end of the night it was just. me and her, rob and the two regulars i started out llaying w yestwrday. theyre sweet, i like them. theyre married. the dude calls me honey smtimes, which is. kinda weird? dunno how i feel about that. i guess fine. its gender-nice, but still a lil uncomfy. otherwise i like em fien, though. but they talked abouy moving into sillys apt. so thats cool!! better than her current (awful, terrible, lazy / horrifically depressed / manchild roomate, who doesnt clean ever) roomate. i was reading the monster of the week gamebook thruout, which i... bought, for some reason. idk. oh also i wanna make a fallen angel divine, because im... predictableeee. also a conspiracy thworist whos just a trans woman w way too much time and really weird hobbies (throwing knices, butterfly knife, net friends, etc). also a spooky. i speny like. 3 hours reading thr7 the monster of the week book while ppl played magic around me. i kinda wish i hadnt bought it, but hey! its neat c:

oh, also i didnt take adderall today. i dont think it went toooo bad, i think i like. was meaner and less thohghtful with what i said, but like. i guess thats better than feared. i took a caffeine pill (200mg) at ariund 10 which is. prolly why im wide awake right now. i regret doing that, sincr from what shes said tmos gonna be big)

she says we gotta be at her moms by 4, for reasons she WONT TELL ME. bit she says its part of one of her plans, i ASSUME the romantic one? im kind of afraid that ill like. no-sell it unwillingly because im abroke and soulless human being, but uh. i guess rhats thw risks we take to be alive :shrug: im excited. were also going to a shop (diff one) tmo, which im Quite excited for, as ive only been in similar shops by accident before. also doing laundry!!! which is important ^_^

oh ysah. so we got white castle on the way home. its. yeah she was r8ght. mediocre-at-best sliders. onions are bad.

we also made a pizza. whifh i ate most of. i overate. sob.

she fell asleep halfway thry an episode of nailed it. cant blame her, she seemed really tired. i hipe i dont disturb her rwst. and i feel so utterly blessed thay i can be around her.

ih!! i also fell down the last few staies ywstersay. bruised my arms, but otherwise fine. it was. idk, it is nice to knoe that others worry fir me and like me. she was very concerned. i love her.

[shawol9196]

BFF AU 2/?

Kibum takes the stairs up to Jonghyun’s floor; he’s not quite in the mood to get stuck in an elevator today and doesn’t want to press his luck. When he opens the door to Jonghyun’s room, there’s something odd. There’s someone on the bed, where Jonghyun should be, but the legs are far too long to be Jonghyun’s.

“Minho, is that you?” he asks. The legs shift and Minho’s head pops around the corner.

Kibum’s day is, to be frank, shitty. It starts with him spilling his coffee all over his brand new khakis, continues when he falls in the middle of the stairway in his lecture hall, and reaches a high (or rather, very very low) point when he somehow loses his left shoe in the middle of crowd while he rushed from his morning class to his afternoon class. By the time his afternoon class ends at 3pm, he’s ready to find a hole somewhere and just make it his home. He feels his phone buzz in his pocket and he’s half expecting it to be the University saying that they’re dropping him.

Group chat!: Cheese fries

CineMin: so wait someone just /stole/ your shoe??? ㅍ`ㅅˊㅍ I’ll fight them!!!

Jjongie: ㅎ`ㅅˊㅎ damn burgieose!!

Kekeke: i dn’t think they did it on purpose

Kekeke: i just had a bad day

Jjongie: do you want to come over? We can talk about it. My mom sent more of that cocoa that you like. ㅎㅅ~

Kekeke: i’ll be over once i get shoes

Jjongie: the door is unlocked

Minho’s been strangely quiet in both the group chat and their own chat today. It makes Kibum a little sad; while he’s glad that he has someone else to look to when he has a bad day, sometimes you just need your best friend. He’s glad that Jonghyun lives in the same building as him and even more that Jonghyun somehow got one of the incredibly coveted single person rooms. After dropping his bookbag and changing into comfier clothes, Kibum takes the stairs up to Jonghyun’s floor; he’s not quite in the mood to get stuck in an elevator today and doesn’t want to press his luck. When he opens the door to Jonghyun’s room, there’s something odd. There’s someone on the bed, where Jonghyun should be, but the legs are far too long to be Jonghyun’s.

“Minho, is that you?” he asks. The legs shift and Minho’s head pops around the corner.

“Hi, Kibum!”

“Why are you in Jonghyun’s apartment? And more importantly, why are you sitting on his bed?”

“We wanted to surprise you since you were having a bad day!” comes Jonghyun’s voice from the bathroom.

Something doesn’t add up to Kibum. He goes into the room and claims Jonghyun’s bean bag chair for his own.

“How did you know I was having a bad day though? I didn’t message you guys about it until after I got out of class and there’s no way you could’ve made it here before me.”

“I can’t believe you would disregard our psychic connection like that, bunny," Minho says, feigning hurt. Kibum rolls his eyes and Jonghyun practically runs out of the bathroom.

“Did you just call him bunny??” he half yells. Minho looks vaguely frightened at Jonghyun’s expression.

“Yeah? I usually do? Since about the age of, what, five?” he answers, looking past Jonghyun to Kibum for confirmation.

“That’s kind of a weird nickname for five year olds to give each other,” Jonghyun comments as he moves to sit at the end of the bed.

“My family all calls me Bummie. He used to have a speech problem so it sounded more like bunny and it just stuck.” Kibum explains.

Jonghyun nods. “So what do you call Minho then? Kitty?”

Both Minho and Kibum laugh, much to Jonghyun’s chagrin.

“No, though I do have a cat.” MInho replies.

“So what does he call you??” Jonghyun repeats.

“Why are you so curious?” Minho counters.

As Kibum watches the two of them inch closer together on Jonghyun’s already small bed, it finally clicks. The reason why Minho was so quiet in the chats, why he was here before Kibum texted them, and why Jonghyun’s face was so interested in what Kibum’s nickname for Minho was.

“Ducky, when did you get here?” he asks, eyes narrowing. Minho tries to keep his face composed but guiltiness is still apparent in his eyes.

“Uh, just a little before you did.”

“You call him ducky??????” Jonghyun interrupts.

“Choi Minho I’ve known you longer than you’ve been on this Earth, don’t lie to me.”

“He calls you ducky????”

“Bunny, it’s literally impossible for you to have known me before I was here. Even though you’re a whole two months older than me, babies have no sense of object permanence or quantifiable awareness of biological processes.”

Kibum waits for Jonghyun to interject again but sees that he’s just quietly trying to process the information now that he’s been ignored long enough.

“So what time did you get here?” he repeats. Minho sighs.

“I caught the train after my 9am Greek class. My noon class was cancelled. I really was planning on surprising you though!”

“What have you guys been up to, then?”

“We’ve been...hanging out,” Minho says, exchanging glances with Jonghyun.

“Yeah. Hanging out.” Jonghyun echos.

There’s an awkward pause. Kibum tries to figure out how to get them to be honest with him. Jonghyun goes back into the bathroom.

“Ducky, let me see your phone.” he says, holding out his hand.

Minho holds his phone close to him. “What for?” “Does it matter?”

Minho struggles to answer. He clearly has something he doesn’t want Kibum to see but at the same time he obviously doesn’t want Kibum to know that he doesn’t want him to see. In the end, Minho holds out his phone. Kibum punches in the passcode and it opens to their groupchat. He waits for Jonghyun to make a comment about his snooping, but it doesn’t come. He goes into the list of threads and searches for the one just between Jonghyun and Minho. It’s titled ㅎㅅ~.

(10:15am)

Jjongie: so are you coming today or did your professor provide you with more falsehoods than necessary?

CineMin: I think I can come ^^ CineMin: I’ll let you know when I catch a train.

Jjongie: yay!! 💙 Jjongie: are you going to tell your not-boyfriend or should I?

CineMin: I want to surprise him, so I haven’t messaged him.

Jjongie: does he like surprises?

CineMin: Only if they’re from me.

Jjongie: ㅎㅅㅎ why are you two like this ㅎㅅㅎ

(10:30am)

CineMin: I’m on the train.

Jjongie: do I need to meet you at the station or do you have a wonderful sense of direction?

CineMin: I wouldn’t say I’m great at directions but I’m better than Kibum if that’s what you mean.

Jjongie: ㅎㅅㅎ how did you know

CineMin: ^^ he’s always been bad at directions ^^ CineMin: I know how to get to the west gate, if you can meet me there?

Jjongie: I can meet you there, but only because you’re cute. 💙

CineMin: 6v6

(11:00)

Jjongie: I’m at the gate ㅎㅅㅎ

Jjongie: where are you ㅎㅅㅎ

Jjongie: there’s a distinct lack of cuties in the area right now ㅎㅅㅎ

Jjongie: I see you!! 💙

Kibum laughs when he finishes reading the messages. When he looks up, Minho’s sitting with his head down and hands folded on his lap, as if he’s expecting some sort of scolding; it’s vaguely reminiscent of when Minho’s older brother had gotten caught with a porn magazine.

“While I know it’s not my division, if you guys are in here being nasty you can just say. I wouldn’t have given his number to you if I wasn’t expecting it or wasn’t okay with it.” he says, taking one of Minho’s hands. Once again, Jonghyun busts out of the bathroom.

“We weren’t doing anything like that!! I promise!! I have respect for him!! We’re still getting to know each other!!”

“He doesn’t mean nasty like that, he means anything beyond strictly friendly relations.”

“Oh.”

“Also, in light of how you phrased that, I’m altering my statement to ‘if you guys are in here being romantically nasty you can tell me, but I better not hear or any anything even remotely nasty.’”

All three of them laugh.

“Ok, so I’m starving. I’m going to go head downstairs now, so you guys have the chance to finish getting out whatever romantic crap you guys need to get of your systems so that I can eat in peace.”

The other two stay still as Kibum leaves the room. Considering how the day’s gone, he feels like he should be more upset than he is that Minho is here. At this point, though, he's just glad Minho's here, no matter what reason. His phone buzzes.

Chat: The OG Homies Chat

CineMin: Thank you for not being mad!

CineMin: Can we talk in your room when we’re done eating? Just us?

Kekeke: Sure, but you guys have to come down to eat before we can do that

CineMin: Working on it

He’s curious to hear what Minho has to say, though he has a feeling he already knows what it is. Jonghyun hadn’t struck Kibum as Minho’s type; but if Minho was going to be with anyone, he’s glad that it’s Jonghyun.

It doesn’t take as long as Kibum expects for the others to join him in the dining hall. Since Jonghyun was the one who invited him over, he sacrifices the meal swipe so that Minho can also eat. They disperse to gather food then gather at a empty booth in the corner. Jonghyun ends up sitting with Kibum, since they each have one plate and Minho has two and a half. As Kibum and Minho get set eating, Jonghyun starts a new parade of questions.

“So Kibum. Why do you call Minho ducky? Actually, Minho did you grow out of your speech problem or just like work on it? No wait. Why did you guys decide to go to different colleges if you’re so close? Do you guys like the same music? Is it physically possible for Minho to eat a normal sized portion?”

Kibum holds up a hand to silence Jonghyun, making Minho laugh. The two share a look.

“Reasons. Yes. Additional reasons. No. Rarely.” he says.

Jonghyun huffs. “That doesn’t answer any of my questions, Kibum. These are meant to be qualitative not quantitative. I'm trying to get to know Minho here.”

“I really liked feeding ducks when we were little and my top and bottom lip look the same, so sometimes I get the duck lips look when I’m talking.” Minho answers, taking a bite. “It got better as I got older but I also went to speech therapy so in a way, yes to both. We’re majoring in different things and work better under different circumstances so different colleges make better sense. While there is overlap, we usually listen to different music. And normal varies from person to person, so since 3 plates of food is my normal portion I’m eating one right now.”

“Thank you, Minho. You see what I mean, Kibum? That’s a qualitative answer.”

Kibum and Minho share a look and continue eating. When he finishes his second plate, Minho puts his fork down for a moment.

“Full?” Jonghyun asks, somewhat excitedly.

Minho laughs. “No, just waiting for you to catch up.”

When they’re all finished eating, Jonghyun remembers that he does, in fact, still have class to go to. He runs off without a backpack and once they’re done laughing, Kibum leads the way to his room. He’d texted his roommate earlier that he was going to be in need of some alone time earlier and he hopes that he actually left. The room is thankfully empty when they get there. When Kibum shuts and locks the door behind them, Minho sits down on the bed with a sigh. Kibum goes next to him, shimmying his way back on the bed so his back is against the wall.

“What did you want to talk about, ducky?”

“How affectionate are you today?”

Kibum purses his lips and tilts his head back and forth. “Depends. What are you wanting?”

“Can I lay next to you with my head in your lap, a la the break down of 9th grade? You can put a pillow on your lap if you want.”

“That should be fine.”

Kibum grabs his pillow and sets it on his lap as Minho scoots back and lays down. He knows that if Minho’s asking for this there must really be a lot on his mind. He does his best to pet Minho’s hair while he arranges his thoughts.

“Ok, so there’s two kind of things on my mind and I want your super honest opinion but in the most loving and supportive tone you can put it in if that’s manageable.”

“Are we talking Mrs. Potts in Beauty and the Beast supportive or Sebastian in Little Mermaid supportive?”

“Sebastians honesty Mrs. Potts niceness.”

“Got it. Alright. You may commence venting when you’re ready.”

Minho sighs again and Kibum’s worried that he’ll cry. He doesn’t though and eventually starts talking.

“So the first and probably more obvious is Jonghyun.”

“Yeah, pretty obvious, ducky. What about him?”

“I mean I don’t know how much of our messages you saw but like we’ve been talking a lot and I’m really unsure. Like I think I like him but I’m worried that it’s not necessarily him that I like and that I just like the attention he gives me. And like I know having crushes isn’t your division by any means but like you’ve read and watched enough romance genre there has to be something helpful you can say.”

“Is there something he said or did that made you wonder or are you just doubting your own feelings?”

Minho pauses. He pulls his phone out and starts scrolling through messages. Eventually he finds what he’s looking for and turns his phone to show Kibum

Chat: ㅎㅅ~

( Monday, 8:00 pm)

Jjongie: Waaah you’re too cute!! Jjongie: sorry i didn’t answer earlier i was Trapped in the Confines of Compose Everything On Demand Because Capitalism class.

CineMin: its ok ^^

Jjongie: I’m not religious but you have the patience of a Saint

CineMin: nooo~ I just realize that you also have classes CineMin: how was class, by the way?

Jjongie: i mean i Like composing until i am Required to do it in a particular time for a particular theme so there’s that but it went well. I managed to get something out to appease the capitalist supervisor that is my professor.

CineMin: Nice ^^

Jjongie: So your test went ok?s

CineMin: not really ;; but i’ll be okay ;; Bummie is supposed to go over it with me when i get it back so ;;

Jjongie: You don’t know the grade right?

CineMin: I’m supposed to get it back next Monday.

Jjongie: !! ㅎㅅㅎ !! I believe in you !! good vibes !!

Kibum hands the phone back to Minho.

“Do you see what I mean?” Minho asks, face full of uncertainty.

“No, ducky. You’re going to have to give me a little more than 12 text messages.”

Minho sighs and puts his phone away.

“He just always compliments me and says supportive things like that and I’m sure it’s just his personality but its just so weird to me to hear that kind of stuff from anyone but you. And like he’s so cute and I like talking to him but I’m just worried that it’s like Sulli all over again where I liked the attention more than the person.”

The Sulli Affair, as Kibum called it, had been messy. It had happened in Minho and Sulli’s sophomore year. After Sulli confessed her feelings to Minho after a soccer game, the two decided to give dating a go. It went well for a month or two, but as things went on it was clear that Sulli was much more romantically invested in it than Minho was. He did his best to end things as well as he could, but she was still unconsolable for a long time and they were never really able to repair their friendship.

“Has he indicated that he wants relationship type things from you? Because if not, then it doesn’t quite matter yet. It’s not like I’m trying to marry you two off.”

Minho laughs and starts scrolling through messages again, handing it to Kibum again.

Chat: ㅎㅅ~

( Tuesday, 9:07 pm)

Jjongie: So what type of things do you enjoy besides reading and competitive eating?

CineMin: I like watching movies. Petting my cat. Sleeping. Going for drives. Working out. Recently, I’ve been going for walks in the botanical garden on campus. You?

Jjongie: :O there’s a garden on your campus!! Jjongie: if i come visit will you take me to the garden!! Jjongie: we should have a picnic!!

CineMin: sure 6v6

Jjongie: ok i will try to give you a date for our Date whenever my TA actually updates the schedule like she’s been saying that she will for two weeks.

“Ok fair enough that does seem interested. Do you want me to talk to him about it? Like what his feelings are? Maybe that’ll help you gauge your own.”

“Yeah, that might help.”

There’s silence for a moment.

“Before you continue can you sit up?” Kibum asks. He wants to be there for Minho but his leg is starting to fall asleep and the closeness is getting to be too much. Minho obliges, moving a bit farther from Kibum to give him space.

“What if Jonghyun doesn’t like that I’m semi-ace?”

“He knows that I’m aro-ace and is very fine with that, if that helps?”

“Yeah but that just means you’re completely unattainable in anyway. Mine’s like ‘hey sometimes you’ll have all of my affections but sometimes you’ll only have half, have fun!’”

“I know that talking about this kind of stuff is hard for you, ducky, but there’s only going to be one way to find out. Let me talk to him about his feelings for you and then we’ll go from there. Who knows, maybe he’s not even actually as interested as we think he is.”

Minho nods and pulls his legs to chest.

“Are you good on this part for now?”

Minho nods again.

“What’s part 2 of the venting?”

Minho takes a deep breath. “I made a comment about how I wasn’t sure how my grade would be for the college algebra test to my mom and like an hour later my dad called me again with the ‘maybe college isn’t for you why don’t you come learn the management end of the store’ spiel again.”

“Minho, I love you and you know that and I know that you love your dad because he’s your dad, but honestly your dad can fuck off with that shit.”

“But Kibum, what if he’s right? I’m not doing well in my regular classes and I’m doing worse in my major classes. What if I’m just not cut out to be a smart person? What if I’m not meant to do this?”

Minho’s grades had been the real reason for the difference in colleges. Kibum had no problem getting into Palm Valley with his impeccable grades and had even been offered a full ride. Minho’s older brother had also gone there, along with around half of the graduates of their high school. Minho hadn’t been so lucky. Greenfield’s application pool was small enough that it was one of schools Minho had barely been able to qualify for and had been the cheapest out of the handful that had accepted him. He was offered little in terms of financial aid from any school and Greenfield was the only one his parents were willing to help pay for.  Originally, Kibum was willing to go to Greenfield to help him out but Minho refused to let him turn down the full scholarship.

“Minho. What did I tell you when you had to repeat 8th grade?”

“That I’m a smart and capable person.”

“And what else?”

“That the only reason I struggle to be successful is because the education system isn’t built fairly.”

“That’s right. And that applies here too. Just because memorization isn’t your strong suit doesn’t mean you aren’t smart. Just because you have test anxiety doesn’t mean you’re doomed to fail. Did you go talk to student services yet?”

Minho shakes his head.

“Go this week and talk to them. We checked and you have all the paperwork you need to get the same type of exam accommodations you had in high school, remember? I know you don’t want to, but you’re going to have to, ducky.”

“I just want to be able to do academic things like normal kids, bunny. And if you say that normal is just a setting on a washing machine I will smother you with your own pillow.”

Kibum laughs and Minho seems to relax a little.

“I know you do. And I wish there was a way that I could make that happen for you. But, unfortunately, it’s not currently possible. So instead I will affectionately annoy you to get accomodations and keep tutoring you. And if your dad makes one more comment about how you should just drop out or compares you to your brother one more time, know that I am fully prepared to deck him.”

Minho properly laughs this time. “Thanks, bunny.”

He goes to say something else but is interrupted by his phone going off

Group Chat!: “Cheese fries”

Jjongie: I Am Freed From Capitalism And Would Like To Enjoy Some Comradeship If You Guys Are Not Busy Being Not-Boyrfriends ㅎㅅㅎ

[lalka-laski]

Where were you last night? Babysitting my coworker’s baby

What is today's date? 2/17

When you're at the grocery store do you use the self-checkout? It‘s usually more of a hassle for me than a timesaver. Something always goes wrong!

Anyone crushing on you? I sure hope my boyfriend is...

What is your relationship status? In love

If you were abandoned in the wilderness, would you survive? Most likely not

Who do you text the most? Glenn or my sisters. I also have a groupchat with 4 of my college girlfriends and it’s almost CONSTANTLY going.

How do you make your money? I have a job and a nannying gig

First person to text today? Glenn

What is your favorite color? Pink! All things pink!

What color are your eyes? Alternating hues of green, blue and gray.

What is a compliment you receive often? Physically I often get complimented on my hair or skin/complexion. Personally I get complimented on my friendliness and warmth.

Who was the last person to say they loved you and when? My boyfriend, just a few moments ago

Do you like your parents? I do. I think they did the best with what they had to provide for us. There are a few things I resent them for and a few situations growing up that I wished they handled differently but... they’re humans. And parenting is hard.

Do you secretly like someone? It’s no secret!

Who was the last person you said you loved on the phone? Mady, I think?

Where is the furthest place you've traveled? Louisiana

Which do you prefer, to eat or sleep? Is this a joke? Those are my two favorite hobbies. I will NEVER choose and you can’t make me.

Do you look more like your mom or your dad? It’s funny because I’ve been told I’m a spitting image of both somehow. I think I have more of my dad’s features physically, but more of my mom’s mannerisms and overall aura.

How long does it take you to shower? Not long actually. I think an average shower for me is 7 minutes.

Can you do splits? Not even slightly

Are you flexible? Physically, no. Emotionally/mentally, also not really.

What did you do on New Year's Eve? Glenn and I had a nice night in. I made a spread of hors douerves and we enjoyed some wine and cocktails. We made it till midnight but I think we went to bed shortly after. It was a vastly different night than the NYEs of my past, and I loved everything about it.

Was your mom there? Why am I laughing at this? But no, she wasn’t there. Weirdo!

Can you speak any other language than English? Some Polish. I began studying it several years ago and was mostly self-taught. I have to admit I picked it up quickly and when I eventually took a class at my local Polish church, my teacher told me I spoke like a native. I know that if I devoted more time to studying and practicing that I could be close to fluent. Someday...

How many hours of sleep did you get last night? 7ish

Do you wear your seatbelt in the car? In the front seat, always. In the backseat I typically don’t, becuase it’s not against the law. But my mom always retorts with “TELL THAT TO PRINCESS DIANA.” It’s a whole thing...

Are you scared of flying? Surprisingly no. I’m a very calm flier.

What do you sleep in? As little clothing as possible

Do you like funny people or serious people? I don’t like one-dimensional people. So I like folks with a good sense of humor who can also behave seriously when the situation calls for it

What are you listening to? Glenn’s watching Bob’s Burgers

What do you have planned for tonight? Pretty much just laying in bed watching Bob’s Burgers and reading with my babe. I’m enjoying a glass of wine as we speak now too. My ideal night!

Is the last person you kissed older than you? Yes and I’ll never stop making fun of his old age

Do you prefer myspace or socialsplash? What on God’s green earth...

Do you have a favorite item of clothing? Anything cozy I can sleep in

Do you like messages or comments better? Both!

Last thing you ate? My homemade stir-fry. And it was delicious if I do say so myself!

What was last thing you drank? I’m enjoying a glass of rose right now!

Are you happy right now? Tremendously

If you could have one thing right now what would it be? I’m perfectly content in this moment

Who makes you happiest right now? Glenn, my “babies,” my best friends... I am surrounded by incredible people!

What were you doing at midnight last night? Getting ready to sleep

Are you left handed? No but I always wished I was for some reason

What is for dinner tonight? Elizabeth’s homemade stir-fry!

What is the last thing you thought about? “Did I take my heartburn meds this afternoon?”

When is your birthday? July 13

Was the first person you talked to today male or female? Male

Have you ever actually sat down and thought about why you like the person you like? I love him for an infinite number of reasons, the list grows every day! And yes sometimes I do sit down and meditate on it. Especially when I’m writing him love letters

Was your last kiss a mistake? Not at all

When was the last time you cried really, really hard? Ehh....

Is there someone you'd like to fix things with? No one that comes to mind really. Everyone in my life is here (or not here) for a reason. I’m happy with who I have.

What's one thing you've learned from a good relationship gone bad? I’ve learned that love shouldn’t hurt.

What's a happy time you've had in the past week? There are too many to list actually. It’s been such a good week!

Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? Glenn, my sisters or my girlfriends

What are you not looking forward to? Going to work tomorrow. I’m not fully dreading it but I’m not looking forward to it

Have you ever seen your best friend cry and how do you feel about that? Of course I have. And it’s never a good feeling to see someone you love hurting. But it’s my job to help

What's the weirdest thing you've ever heated up in the microwave? Nothing out of the ordinary, I don’t think?

Have you ever liked someone that treated you like crap? Ugh....

Have you ever seen a zebra? I actually don’t think so. Not even in a zoo! But now I really want to

Has anyone disappointed you recently? Nothing that comes to mind

How late did you stay up last night? About 1 am, which is late as hell for me!

Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you, and meant it? Of course

Where is your father right now? At home either sleeping or getting ready to

Are you a morning person or a night? I can’t decide actually

Are you there for your friends? As much as I can be, of course.

Are you a forgiving person? I actually struggle with forgiveness because my mind won’t let things go

Are you a jealous person? Less so as I’m getting older but it’s still a problem that creeps up from time to time...

Do you wish somebody would call you? Why? I don’t want ANYONE to call me.

Does anyone like you? Didn’t you already ask me this?

What's annoying you right now? Nothing actually. I’m perfectly content and relaxed!

What's something you really want right now? Maybe a wine refill 🍷

Do you love someone? Many people!

How many true friends do you have? I’ve never sat down and counted but I will say that all of my friends are “true” friends