#Both Peter and Wade have flaws and not enough people realize that.

[unwantedarc]

If you fuckers can’t write good Spideypool fanfics I might have to do it myself.

[peniabeset]

Still your baby boy

Bucky Barnes x trans reader.

(Warnings- mild gender dysphoria, fear of rejection and implied sex.)

You and Bucky have been in a relationship for a little over six months and he still doesn't know that you're transgender. He respects you when you say you're not ready to have sex with him, he's fine with that, not even questioning it. 

That is until Natasha slips up and almost outs you.

The bed frame creaks as the weight of a body shifts behind you. Arms wrap around your middle, one is warm flesh, the other lukewarm metal that hums softly against your ribs. 

There's soft light filtering through the tinted windows of the Avengers tower, giving the room an almost glowing feeling. Your chest swells with warmth when he pulls you closer to his chest, skin and more metal pressing into your back.

You role over to look at the person who's arms they belonged to, metal plates shifted against your skin- leaving goosebumps in its wake as they lifted their arm up so you could shift easier to face them. His eyes are closed, his breathing coming slow and steady. His shoulder length brown hair is fanned across half of your pillow that his head is buried in. 

If there was anyone else that saw him like this they would think that he was fast asleep. You knew better though as you reached a hand up to rest against his cheek, rubbing your thumb against his stubble. His lip twitched upwards, pulling you closer into him. "'Morning, sunshine," He mumbles. His voice was always gravelly in the morning. 

It was 7:30. You knew because the windows were on a timer so that they would no longer be tinted. The new light that was slowly being let in lit up his face, letting you admire all of the little flaws in his face. You could see every little scar, freckle- today there were two small pimples on the left side of his face. He opened his eyes to look at you, blinking a few times to adjust to the light.

"You're so pretty," You say to him, making him roll his eyes. He leans forward to kiss you on your nose.

"And so are you, baby boy," He replies when he pulls away, plopping his head back down on the pillow, mused hair fanning out, some of the strands falling onto his face. You moved the strands out of his eyes, tucking them behind his ear. "I need a haircut," He huffed when the strands fell back into his face. 

You shake your head, biting your lip, trying not to smile. "I like it like this though," You state while running your fingers through his bed head.

"You just want to be able to braid my hair and put it up into," He removes his metal hand from under the blanket to make quotation marks, ""Man buns.""

"Not true." A smile creeps onto his face as he sits up, blanket slipping off and pooling on you and his lap. He's wearing boxer shorts, same as you. His are light blue and yours are grey. 

Bucky stretches his arms over his head, you can hear the gears and plates shifting over his yawn. When he looks back down at you he notices that your nose is crinkled. "What?" 

"I can smell your breath all the way down here." You didn't actually smell anything, but you still pretended to gag as he swooped down to catch your lips with his- effectively shutting you up. It was nothing more than lingering peck on the lips. His hand had slips back under the blanket to rest on your lower stomach, sending chills up your back. "Alright, go make yourself some coffee or something," Say as you role back over and stealing the rest of the blanket. You close your eyes just as you feel the bed shift and he's nuzzling his nose against your neck.

"Aren't you coming down with me?" There was something more in what he was asking. It didn't sound like he was upset and he definitely didn't wake up from any sort of nightmare or episode. You shake your head no and he hums in response.

He's okay. He's good for right now.

"Someone's in the kitchen already," He lets you know as he stands to get clothes on. Other people made him nervous most of the time.

You crack an eye open to watch his backside as he leaves. He's wearing baggy sweats and a white tank top. He grabs one of the key cards that are on a hardwood desk that's by the front door before opening it, he pauses, "Stop ogling my ass." You can't help the smirk that spreads across your face, snuggling back into the bed as the door shuts.

Bucky made his way down the hall, sure steps carrying him to the kitchen where Natasha sat perched on one of the bar stools at the island counter. She was tapping away at her phone while sipping something steaming in a white mug that said 'Yeet' in cursive on the side; most likely one of Parker's mugs that had sayings on them that made little to no sense.

"Morning," She said when she finished swallowing her mouth full of liquid. He can smell that it's coffee- it has a slight milky sweetness to it. French vanilla maybe?

"Morning," He replies as he moves around her to grab a cup of his own from the cupboard. He grabs the first mug that his hand makes contact with and takes it out. It's pink and white with a hello kitty face on the side; Bucky doesn't care. He's been here long enough to accept the constant nonsense that happens here. 

Bucky pours the black steaming liquid into the cup, only putting a spoonful of sugar in and nothing else before he's leaning his back against the sink. He looks up from his cup just as he's about to take a sip, only to make direct eye contact with Natasha.

"That's Wade's cup," She states. Bucky shrugs, taking a gulp anyway, not even wincing when it burns his mouth and the back of his throat. 

"He hasn't been here in two weeks. He's too busy bothering Peter on his patrols. I doubt he's going to notice." Natasha tilts her mug back so she can get the last of her coffee, almost like she's doing a shot, Bucky notes. She sets it down on the marble countertop with a soft clink.

"See," She starts, "That's what Tony said that one time a few months back. Somehow Wilson had found out and showed up while he was sleeping and woke him up saying, 'You drank out of my mug which has had my mouth on it. So technically that means we've kissed'." 

"I remember that," Bucky replied. "Tony barely slept for almost three weeks," He chuckles, looking down at the mug, swirling the contents briefly and then taking another drink. 

"By Wade's standards, now you and Tony have kissed him," She laughs. Bucky just rolls his eyes, finishing off his coffee, taking her cup away from her and setting both glasses in the sink to be washed later.

"I've literally shared my cup with ten different guys when I was in the military without washing it for days," He replies, snorting when Natasha makes a disgusted face. Her face shifts then, putting her phone down on the counter.

"Speaking of kissing people. How are you and (y/n) doing?" She gestures to his hair, "I noticed you've got quite the bed head," She states. Bucky pulls up a stool so he could sit across from her.

"Everything's really good," He leans forward so he can rest his elbows on the table, intertwining his fingers. "Why?" She shrugs, copying his movements.

"I don't know. No offense, but you've always seemed like a ladies man." Bucky's eyebrow twitched up in annoyance at her comment. "Oh come on, Bucky you know what I mean. Steve told me that he's never once seen you go after a guy." Bucky let out a lighthearted laugh before responding.

"Yeah, well things were a lot different in my day. Someone catches you with a guy you're royally fucked."

"Have you ever been with one? Like physically?"

"I honestly don't remember," He shrugs. Natasha looks at him confused.

"Not even with (y/n)..?" Bucky furrows his brows and shakes his head hesitantly. "Seriously? Bucky Barnes, the guy who got tail almost every night back in the day hasn't banged his boyfriend yet?" Bucky frowns at her response.

"No? Last time I checked there wasn't a specific timeframe that you're supposed fuck your significant other," He snaps defensively. He could feel his fight or slight response kicking in, and it was screaming at him to do the former.

Natasha brought her hand up, "Bucky I didn't mean it that way. You need to calm down. It was just a joke," She said in a soothing voice. "But seriously. I've seen the way you look at each other. He's clearly head over heels for you and half the time you look like you're about to pounce on the guy."

Bucky didn't think it was that obvious. At least he tried for it not to be. 

"He doesn't want to," Bucky admits quietly after a moment, shifting his gaze down to his hands. Something shifts in her face, almost like she's taking pity on him.

"Do you want to?" She asks after a moment. Bucky shrugs, shrinking into himself more. "Have you talked to him about it?" 

"Briefly. He said he's okay and that I don't need to give him anything in return and I’m okay with that-”

"So he's done stuff to you," She interjects. Bucky's nose twitches with annoyance from her cutting him off. "But doesn't let you do stuff to him-" She does that thing with her face again when she realizes what's going on. "Oh. Oh. You don't know, do you?" 

"I don't know what?" He asks her, completely and utterly confused. She's getting up now from the counter simultaneously grabbing her phone and stuffing it into the pocket of her sweats.

"This something you should be discussing with him." Bucky gets up from his seat, stool screeching against the floor, making Natasha cringe.

"You didn't seem to have a problem talking about my sex life thirty seconds ago, why does it matter now? What don't I-" Bucky could sense two figures approaching them coming from the south hall. His automatic response being to shut his mouth with enough force for it to make an audible noise just as Sam and Clint walked into the room.

"What's all the noise this early in the damn mornin'?" Clint asks looking accusingly at them. "I'm deaf and I can still hear you two bastards squawking."

"Heard something about Bucky's sex life," Sam whispered into Clint's ear. Clint tapped to his ear as Sam pulls away.

"Too early for hearing aids, my dude," Clint laughs. 

"Shit, sorry, I'll tell you later," Sam replies.

Bucky takes that as his cue to go back to your room. He slips away almost unnoticed by the others, Nat only sending him a quick glance.

You're fully awake when Bucky finally comes back. He slides the keycard into the lock, light turning green and slips in. You look up from your phone as he's closing the door behind himself.

"'Morning, Sergeant. Barnes," You salute. He smiles at what you'd said, setting the card back where you two kept them on the table. He's walking towards the bed- something is wrong. You can tell by the way he's walking. He's always carried himself differently when he was upset. "What's wrong?" You ask, sitting up straighter and putting your phone down on the bed.

He doesn't respond at first, just climbing into bed and smashing his face into the pillow on his side of the bed. When he finally does respond it's muffled by the stuffing. 

"Bucky I can't understand you with your face smashed in that pillow." You move over so you're closer to him and set your hand on his bare shoulder. "You can talk to me, baby." 

He rolls over onto his side so he can look at you. He takes in your appearance- how your hair is sticking up in all sorts of directions, lightly tanned skin that has freckles here and there. "Natasha and I were talking in the kitchen."

"Okay. What were you two talking about?" You grow even more concerned when he swallows thickly before he responds.

"You- well, actually us." He sits up fully as soon as he hears your breath hitch. "It wasn't anything bad- at least I don't think so," He blurts out. "I went into the kitchen and she was drinking coffee, and then I got coffee, and then she made a comment about I had bad bed head, and then started asking about why we haven't had sex yet? Then she didn't realize that I didn't know something and told me to talk to you about it-" You cut him off by slapping your hand over his mouth.

"You're mouth vomiting again, dear," You smile, soothing your hand through his hair. Bucky mumbles out an apology, leaning into your hand.

You knew this conversation would have come up at some point. You didn't even know how to approach the subject, so maybe Natasha being nosy was a blessing? Maybe. You inhaled deeply, taking Bucky's hand into your own. "I'm not really sure how to explain this," You admit nervously. He just smiles at you and kisses the palm of your hand.

"Just do your best. I may be old, but I catch on quick." That earned a laugh from you, helping ease your current anxiety. 

"I'm... Trans," You say slowly. The words sounded strange, almost wrong coming out of your mouth. You didn't like thinking about it, let alone saying it. His face went completely blank for a split second, and then you swear you saw a dozen different emotions cross his face, the last being confusion. 

"Oh." Your heart sank at his response. "Oh,"  He repeats, sitting up all the way, your hand falling to rest on his thigh. Bucky grabs your face with both of his hands and smashes his mouth against yours, speaking in between kisses. "I- love- you-" He pulls you onto his lap, making you yelp, "So fucking much," He finishes. "(y/n), why didn't you tell me?" 

"I didn't want you to think differently off me," You say as you bring your hands up to rest on the nape of his neck as his hands fall to your hips. He leans into get another kiss, smiling when he pulls away.

"I could never," He starts. "This is why you never let me touch you," He realizes. You laugh, rubbing your thumbs against his jawline. 

"Yes, Bucky." He looks down you chest then, you can tell that he wants to ask questions. He'd never asked about the thin light scars on your chest that were only really visible in certain light or cooler temperatures that made them turn a light purple. Probably due to the fact that he didn't like talking about his own scars that were on his chest where metal met skin. "You can ask. It's okay." He swallows, nodding. 

You reach down to take his metal hand into your own and placing it against your chest the tips of his pointer and middle finger resting directly over one of the scars, the cool humming from his arm giving you goosebumps. "Double mastectomy?" He asks as he bring his other arm up to run over the other white line. 

"Mhm." He runs his hands up and down your sides a few times before bring them up to feel your neck and face, turning your head slightly this way and that. "What are you doing," You giggle when he scratches behind your left ear.

"I'm just amazed on how far we've come from how it used to be. Here I am sitting in bed with the most handsome man I have ever laid eyes on in my lap. If this was seventy years ago-"

"It's not like that anymore. We're safe," You remind him. He's always so concerned, always asking to make sure you're okay. God, as if you didn't love him enough already. 

"I know- I know. I just- holy shit I love you." You kiss him deeply, threading your fingers into his hair.

"I love you too."