#Bombs in the van Idfk

[doodoobirds]

I ain popular enough to be drawing all this

This was an doodle of my fem soldier and my friend said are you sure that’s a girl and I haven’t been the same since

Plus I had this drawing that I really like and because of this drawing I haven’t been able to draw men right

[heartz4shauna]

Write something about a locked door or something? I don’t know (I too have no motivation but have two things I gotta write)

Locked Out

Word count: 1290 (my longest fic thing yet yippee!!)

Warnings: none just cutesy stuff kinda idk?? kinda Shauna x reader idfk yall also modern au.. GUYS IDK HOW TO LABEL THIS

a/n: so sorry this took me so long i was procrastinating so hard my bad ahhh also didn’t really know how to like.. finish it so it’s kinda shit but okay!!

You pulled into your driveway, the worries of the school day rushing out of you as quickly as they came. You grabbed your backpack from the passanger seat and got out of the car. Making your way up to your front door, you checked your pockets for your house key. Fuck. They weren’t there. You groaned in annoyance as you got to the door, dropping your backpack onto the ground and looking through it for your keys, but with no luck.

You pulled out your phone and called your mom. After a good five rings, she picked up. “Hello, I’m in work, what’s wrong?” You sighed into the phone, rubbing your forehead in exhaustion, “Uh, I forgot my keys. Is there like a spare under a plant pot or something?” You could practically hear your mom rolling her eyes on the other end, “No, there isn’t. Call your dad, he might be around,” she said just before she hung up. Alright then.

You took your moms advice and called your dad who picked up immediately, “Yes, hello, what’s wrong?” You huffed and explained to your dad what was going on, with a bit more drama. “Okay, so I had a shit day and I just wanted to get home and relax, right? Okay, so I got out of the car, checked my pockets. No keys! Just my luck. Called mom, no spare key apparently, so she told me to call you. Are you around or are you grocery shopping or something?” You could hear your dad sigh, which obviously meant “I’m about 34478 miles away.” You groaned and nodded to yourself, “Alright. I’ll see you later,” and you hung up.

You took a deep breath and decided to call your best friend, Shauna. Surely she could help you in some way? You dialed her phone number and it rang. No answer, no bother. Try again. You rang her again. No answer, fuck. Okay, third times a charm. Surely she wouldn’t leave you outside looking absolutely hideous and drenched in sweat after soccer practice. On the third try, she finally picked up, “Hello?” “Shauna, hey. Can you do me a favour?” You could hear from the noises around her she was still driving home, and lucky for you, she didn’t live too far from your house. “I could, sure. What’s up?” Chances are, she would most definitely do what you asked. You never asked her for much, really. This was nothing in the grand scheme of things.

“I forgot my house key, so I can’t get into my house. Could you take me back to yours? Just until my mom or dad gets home.” You dropped the bomb. Okay, maybe not a bomb but a hard boiled egg. “Uh, yeah, sure. I’ll come pick you up. I’m about fifteen minutes from your house. Just stay put.” A grin spread across your face. Success! Now all you had to do was wait outside for a good fifteen to twenty minutes, taking traffic into account, and no more worries.

You spent the next thirteen minutes scrolling on your phone and moaning to Van in your texts; “feel so stupid”, “forgot my keys”, “shauna my lord and saviour is picking me up!!!!:!:!2&/!:!” and Van would respond, “u are quite the interesting specimen”, “have fun with with the wifey”

After the excruciatingly long time of sixteen minutes, the last three minutes spent by counting the amount of leaves on the tree in your front lawn, your lord and saviour, Shauna, finally arrived outside your house. You waved at her quickly and picked up your backpack, swinging it over your shoulder. You ran over to her car and got into the passenger seat.

“Ugh, thank you, Shauna. I forgot my key, my dad’s out and my mom’s at work, so thanks,” you explained as she nodded along. “Why didn’t you just drive up to my house yourself?” She asked you, an eyebrow raised. You hadn’t thought about that. Fuck. “Uh, I didn’t want to take up too much space in your driveway..” you answered with a shrug. Sure, what you said made sense, but a shit excuse. Shauna just nodded, not really listening to your excuse, more so flattered you decided to call her out of all people.

“I hope your mom doesn’t mind, y’know. That I’m coming over and whatever,” you said, glancing away from the road for a moment. “Oh, no,” Shauna shook her head, “She doesn’t mind at all. She loves you.” That shocked you a little bit, usually when you came over to her house, her mom would give you looks, snarky smiles, the whole lot. But apparently she loved you? Weird. Your eyebrows creased together and, of course, Shauna noticed this.

“What? You don’t believe me?” she chuckled out, punching you softly in the shoulder. “I mean, usually she looks like a starving animal, watching its prey. Me, obviously, being the prey.” Shauna laughed, eyes widening in shock a little, “Really? That’s what she told me. She said, ‘You know your friend? The one who’s always over here, comes into the kitchen when I’m makin’ dinner? Actually a really sweet kid. I was iffy about ‘em at first, but,’ and then she shrugged. She does like you, trust me.” You listened intently to what her mom had told her, clearly interested in what she really thought of you behind all of the bitterness she showed you.

Shauna braked at a red light and handed you her unlocked phone, “Plug in the aux, Ms. Roan, if you please.” You smiled at her, opening her Spotify and playing her top playlist, whose name was “queen but like in a cunty way”, interesting. You picked up the aux wire, plugged it into her phone and pressed play on the playlist. The first song that came on was Red Wind Supernova by Chappell Roan. She looked back over at you as she continued to drive, humming along to the opening lyrics, whilst you sang, “She was a playboy, Brigitte Bardot. She showed me things, I didn’t know.” Shauna loudly sang after you, “Put her canine teeth in the side of my neck!”

You both chuckled at your equally horrible and loud voices, “So mad we didn’t get tickets,” you said with a frown. She groaned, “Ugh, I know. I would literally be screaming the entire way through. Got her CD, though..” She said in a sing-song voice. You shrugged, not satisfied with the outcome, “Not the same, is it?” She frowned, “Guess not.”

You pulled into her driveway and she parked the car, she got out after grabbing her backpack from the back seat and you followed. “Is your mom making dinner or is it too early for that?” You asked her as she unlocked her front door. “Uh, I dunno. It’s kinda early, so probably not yet?” You gave a nod as you walked into her house. “Mom, we’re home!” Shauna called out to her mom who was presumably in her bedroom. She kicked off her shoes and threw her backpack onto the floor near the door.

You walked into her living room and took a seat on the couch with a heavy sigh. Shauna came over and sat beside you, grabbing the remote from the tv off the coffee table. You pulled out your phone to see one new text message from your mom.

You unlocked your phone and read the message to yourself, “I’m almost at Shauna’s, I’m coming to pick you up in 10 minutes.” Sent 7 minutes ago. Damn. You huffed and showed your phone to Shauna who was flicking through channels, “Ugh, seriously? You just got here.” You shrugged, a guilty frown playing on your lips, “Sorry, man.”

[keichanz]

Captured au?

oh FUCK YES THANK YOU FOR ASKING ABOUT HTIS ONE LAVE i cant wait to write this one some day!!!

okay so!!

It starts with Kagome being roughly handled/kidnapped, whatever, and she’s scared to death. All of her questions she asks of her captors are ignored and she’s shoved into a van or something and driven to somewhere hours ago. She’s crying/hysterical at this point. Hours later the van stops, she’s blind folded, and roughly taken into a building of some kind. Blindfold gets taken off and she’s shoved into a room that’s bisected/divided by barred walls so it’s like each section resembles a cage. she pounds on the door demanding to be let out and then she starts hyperventilating at some point, maybe she has anxiety, and then Inuyasha, who was already there and is in a neighboring room/section whatever rushes over to try and calm her down and Kagome is relieved that someone else is there, she’s not alone, what the FUCK is going on.

Inuyasha reveals that he was taken in a very similar way after she describes her experience. They bond/talk/get to know each other and decide that they need to stick together to survive whatever they had been thrown into. Kagome reveals that she’s terrified and without hesitation Inuyasha vows to protect her.

the premise: The air has become toxic and unbreathable, maybe from some kind of nuclear bomb or something idfk. Radiation maybe idk but regular humans die sometimes within minutes, or their suffering could last days before succumbing, however the effects of the radiation/toxicity are instant in the form of like open sores, gross pussy boils, horrible rashes, various skin conditions, ect. To breath it in corrodes the lungs and they slowly rot in your body. Only demons/hanyous or humans with special abilities/powers are able to survive the toxicity. Kagome is able to withstand it because of latent priestess powers inside her that she had no idea she had. Her powers purify the disease/rot before it can ever do any damage.***

so they need to find a way to escape this prison they found themselves in, and along the way they make friends with other humans with abilities and demons. anyway the Big Evil is probs gonna be Naraku, with unlikely allies such as Sesshomaru and Kagura, who like in the anime/manga works for Naraku, but betrays him and helps the heroes. Sesshomaru just does his own thing but it’s beneficial to him if his little brother and his friends survive so he (with much annoyance) helps them when he sees fit. idk how he fits into the story yet; maybe he’s an a fake ally of naraku’s or something and once he discovers his brother is one of the “test subjects” he tries to sabotage Naraku’s evil plans. 

i cant wait to start writing this one too ;AIJDF;OAIJPDF

[sarcasm-is-my-native-tounge]

A brief summary of my office Christmas party

So I've been working as an office assistant in my mom's office. She is a paralegal at a small law firm. The firm had their Christmas party last night and I went because fuck it free booze. This is pretty much what happened.

There was about 25 people there split into two tables and thankfully I didn't sit with the religious-ey people because eew

I was the youngest person there by about 25 years

Senior Partner A looks like a vogon from the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and has the hottest wife ever holy fuck. I know they are the same age but she looks so good.

Senior Partner B looks like Patrick Stewart

"How's the beer?"

"...Kinda like when you spill beer on your shirt and wrong it out but still have some detergent in your shirt? Kinda like that."

My mother and I arguing who is hotter Manu Bennett or Jason Momoa (who the fuck this Manu Bennett guy anyway? I had to google him lol. She is wrong)

I was cheating off my mom in one of the games and I. Could. Not. Read. Her. Handwriting. Kept giving her shit about it all night lol

Had to play that game with the mouth opener things and you had to say weird phrases on cards and I had to wear it and almost had a panic attack because my teeth are horrible and I didn't want everyone to see (I was shaking so bad and almost cried it was horrible)

"I have no idea what I ate but I survived" -heard from the other table before we even got our food?

They kept forgetting to fill only my mothers coffee. Literally just hers idfk why but she looked like she was about to stab our waitress.

I won two $10 amazon cards playing these fuckin awful games at least

Went to the bathroom and the dude coming out locked eyes with me, turned around and went back in to flush the toilet ??? I was scared but really had to pee and there was only the one bathroom

"Nothing like buying something you don't want just so you don't have to pay taxes" he was talking about buying a van?

"So how was your day?"

"Oh, it was a day. Not something to discuss at dinner though..." -same guy who bought the van. He had the most dead eyes I've ever seen and I feel like his "day that couldn't be discussed" involved murder...

Couple shows up late now I have to sit next to someone and they immediately start making dirty jokes about stuff

"You don't know what we do in the bedroom! Once the dradle comes out man ooh boy" and other "we might be Jewish, you don't know" sex jokes 😒

Hot ass waiters one had dreads. I wanted to get one guys number but I was sitting next to my mother and that would have been so awkward...

No one appreciated how good my makeup was. It was bomb as fuck y'all.

Had to steal chocolate from an old man because it would interfere with his heart medication? He saw and looked really sad but his wife was like "Too fuckin bad you can't have chocolate!" I wanted to give it back I felt so bad.

Senior Partner A getting fuckin wasted

"Where is your Christmas sweater?" (Referring one with reindeer fucking on it that he wore last year) I wasn't allowed to wear a scarf with some skulls on it last year but he could wear a lime green deer-fucking sweater mmkay that's cool

Rarest prime rib I've ever fucking seen like it was a slab of raw meat with seasoning and slightly warm. "Medium rare" my ass

Waited a ridiculous amount of time for our food. Like over two hours before we even got our salads. This place supposed to be fancy af what the hell

No one at my table ordered dessert so I didn't either although I really wanted some 😭

Office manager trying to make a speech with like no voice he was super sick

Lady running all the games has the loudest voice ever I'm sure people in the hotel above us could hear her jfc

Damn near threw up on the way to my grandmas afterwards

They had Irish Death beer and this fancy establishment I was so happy

Best potatoes I have ever had? What the fuck they were good.

[surveystodestressme]

47.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 8

701. What is your favorite mixed drink? i like sex on the beach a lot but i honestly like a lot of mixed drinks 702. When answering these questions are you often pulled in different directions, as if committing to one answer eliminates the possibility for all others? nahh, i try not to put too much thought into my decisions lol 703. Chicken Mesala, Pasta Primavera, Veal Cutlet Parmesan or Linguini with Clam Sauce? i don’t know what any of these are.  i guess pasta primavetra 704. If you were alone in your friend’s house/room/apartment would you look in their drawers and notebooks? i’d probably just watch tv

705. What would you really like to do but you don’t because you are afraid of getting caught? gamble??? lol idk

706. Of the following, which word best describes you: responsible: this one i guess spontaneous: tactful: uninhbited: 707. Which band would you most likely check out? The Smiths (indi-pop 80’s-90’s) probably this one The Lords of Acid (acid/house/dance 90’s) Front 242 (80’s-90’s industrial/dance) 708. How can one put an end to procrastination, as a bad habit? commit to everything that you ever need to get done 709. What feature would you want on your car that is not currently offered? well, i don’t have a car but if i did i would want bluetooth so i can always listen to my own music 710. What kind of poetry speaks to you? i don’t like poetry 711. What is your favorite store that is open 24 hours? uh... walmart? i guess 712. Do you find that sleep is just so much sleepier when you are supposed to be doing something else? absolutely 713. Do you also find that the books you chose are so much more luscious when you have a stack of actual assignments that you Should be reading? lol i mean kind of? 714. If you have had the chance to compare the original 5000 Question Survey to this edited version, what is your opinion? i haven’t done the originial so i have no idea honestly 715. What’s the most creative answer you can think of for ‘what is black and white and red all over’? a sunburnt penguin 716. Why do people slow down on the highway when they pass a cop car pulling someone else over? just to be cautious, i guess 717. Are they afraid that the cop will STOP pulling over whoever he is pulling over and pull them over instead? possible, i guess 718. It’s daddy’s birthday. What do you get him? something sports related 719. What’s your 5,000 question survey nickname? Look at the word next to the 2nd letter of your first name A anything but B bubalicious C captivating D deadly E erotic F funky G greasy H heaps of I indie J jelly K kinetic L lasher M Mr. (or Mrs.) N neglected O ogre-like P parading Q quacking R Rico S stinky T the one and only U uber V Velcro W wishing for X x-tra Y yearning for Z zoobalee Now take the first letter of your last name. A aardvarks B baboo C creme pie D drag queen E eggbert F flex G god H hell I Isabelle J juice K kisses L lightning M mannish boys N nice O octopi P porcupines Q q-bert R rainbows S suave T tushy U underwear V valor W weenie X xtc Y yohimbe Z zipper Put the two words together for your nickname. indie creme pie 720. You know that shaky feeling that you get when it’s all coming to a climax, and everyone involved is breaking into the good kind of cold sweat, working as individuals and at the same time as a single force of energy, and it all meshes together, and for a brief moment, you’re holding your breath and tingling all over, and after it’s done you’re on an explosive and dizzying high for the rest of the night? What does that feeling come from? drugs prolly 721. How many of your teachers can you imagine drinking or doing drugs on the weekends? definitely some of my high school teachers 722. Do you like Alice in Wonderland or Through the Looking Glass? i like alice in wonderland 723. Write a question and answer it here. what do you want to be doing right now? eating 724. Who is your favorite playwright? i don’t have one 725. What movie has come out recently that you couldn’t have less interest in? there are so many lol 726. What would the worst movie ever be about? poop 727. Do you like truffles? Do you like Turkish delight? not a huge chocolate person 728. Can you tell the difference between a transvestite and a real woman? it doesn’t really matter if i can or not 729. What’s funnier, plants or fire extinguishers? lol neither? 730. For question 720 did you write down sex? You pervert, I was thinking of musical theater. i didn’t actually 731. Which is better, leopard print or plaid? plaid for sure 732. What would you consider ordinary? blondes 733. What is out of the ordinary? dogs with sweaters 734. Do you ever watch COPS? I FUCKING LOVE COPS 735. Is there always room for j - e - l - l - o? i hate jello 736. If you had your own TV show, what kind of show would you make it? a horror drama 737. Do you know how heavy things like airplanes stay in the air? buoyancy??? idk if that even makes sense 738. When do you act the most dramatic? every single day of my entire life 739. Are you one of those people who have, “see photo id,” written on the back of their credit cards? i don’t think so 740. It’s mom’s birthday. What do you get her? she’s hard to shop for so idk, i’d probably ask 741. What celebrity has pretty much disappeared leaving you wondering 'where are they now’? amanda bynes 742. Would you get angry if you and your girl/boyfriend saw the preview for a movie and talked about seeing it together and then they saw it with one of their friends while you were busy? jack has done that before lol.  except with his mother and i was a lil mad because we talked about seeing it and he went without me but it ended up being a good movie and he took me later that week or something 743. How many people do you think will finish this whooooooole survey? not many, i’d say 744. Have you ever written a message, sealed it in a bottle and thrown it into a river/lake ocean? nah. 745. If you haven’t would you want to? sure 746. If you ever did what would you write? something significant 747. What do you wish you could always be protected from? death 748. What small thing annoys you so much it should be a crime? when people chew with their mouth open 749. Would you rather watch a video of fish in a tank, or the Yule log on TV? fish in a tank 750. Is it better to be loved or feared? loved 100% 751. What causes you to panic? lots of things man 752. Do you believe that you have a strong personality? i think so? unless that’s a bad thing lol 753. When Jesus saves souls…does he trade them in for valuable prizes? idfk man, do i look like jesus? 754. What resolutions would you make if it were new years? lose weight or at least get in better shape 755. Why wait? bc i’m lazy 756. Do you feel like time is on your side or working against you? working against me most of the time 757. What do you do for yourself when you are down to put a little joy back into your life? watch something or read something 758. How much Tolkien have you read? i don’t even know what that is 759. These are the songs on the radio. Which are you most likely to listen to: Time Bomb by Rancid Dead Man’s party by Oingo Boingo The Sun Always Shines on TV by A-ha this one 50 Ways to leave Your Lover by Paul Simon Run by collective Soul 760. Do you believe that Jesus existed as a real person? no 761. Do you believe he was the son of god? idfk dude 762. How do you feel about organized religion? i don’t care 763. What sentence have you heard lately, that would sound pretty odd out of context? idk 763. If you had to choose one image to be a symbol of our times, what would you pick? a cat 764. Name a group of people: crowd 765. How many of them does it take to screw in a light bulb? one, hopefully 766. Do you like the movie The Labyrinth with David Bowie and some muppets? never seen it 767. Do you like the movie The Dark Crystal? never seen it. 768. Metallica or Guns N’ Roses? metallica 769. Do you follow the Chinese zodiac? i used to 770. Do you like reggae music? not really. 771. What makes your life worth it every day? getting to see the ones i love 772. Do you seize each day and sink your teeth into it? sure 773. I’ve heard people say that Jim Morrison never yawned because he was just so full of life. How often do you yawn? every single day 774. Who decides what behavior is 'crazy’ or 'sane’? anyone who wants to i suppose 775. Who are the most inspiring artists, musicians, poets, and writers? oh there’s tons.  robin williams was always an inspiration to me and so was van gogh. 776. Did anything historically significant happen in the year you were born? not that i know of 777. Besides blowing out birthday candles when do you make wishes? on shooting stars whenever i see them 778. Are you self-sufficient? i try to be 779. Is it better to be wanted or needed? wanted 780. What do you feel is an appropriate age to lose one’s virginity at? whenever they are ready 781. Do you feel that the appropriate age for girls and for boys is different? no 782. Are you a hard person to get to know? i don’t think so.  i’m an open book 783. What is the craziest thing you have ever done out of anger? hurt myself 784. What’s the MOST annoying sound you can think of? nails on a chalkboard 785. What’s the silliest vegetable you can think of? idk 786. Do you believe in love at first sight? not really 787. Name one thing you have referred to in the past as “better than sex”: food lol 788. What do you see when you turn out the light? it’s dark so probably not a lot 789. Do you like jazz, blues and/or swing music? nope 790. Do you prefer gold or silver jewelry? silver 791. In what ways do you want your children to be like you? i don’t want children 792. In what ways would you want your children to be different from you? ^ 793. What was the scariest movie you’ve ever seen? back when i was little freddy kreuger scared the actual shit out of me 794. What was the funniest movie you’ve ever seen? grown ups or horrible bosses 795. What was the worst movie you’ve ever seen? the haunting of molly hartley 796. Are you a good massage-giver? i think so. 797. What is one question that no one can ever truthfully answer 'yes’ to? if they know everything 798. Is there more to this world than human beings can perceive? of course there is 799. If matter is neither created nor destroyed then is it possible that you are made up of molecules that once made up Ghandi or Jesus or Einstein? sure why not? 800. Are you often sarcastic? pretty often.