#Bleak by Sweetheart Squad

[who-do-i-know-this-man]

⚠️Vote for whomever YOU DO NOT KNOW⚠️‼️

[mirimangarecs]

SHWD: special hazardous waste disposal - sono.N

women in a private military task force battle psychic horror bioweapons left over from a mysterious war

the couple: muscle woman x even bigger muscle woman. a jaded veteran on the force and an exceptional young newcomer who is pushing herself to the brink for revenge

story & setting: truly bleak tales of suffering as a a result of the bioweapons wreaking havoc on civilian populations. the disposal squad gets moments to bond during the mundanity of office work as well as action packed fight scenes

the art: there’s a disparate mix of cute, charming character design (protagonist is a total sweetheart) and serious, terrifying monster design that are difficult to look at

cw: gore

[rose-colored-amy]

So, this is a continuation to my extremely short one-shot Last Moments, Last Regrets, but it can be read as a stand-alone. Regardless, I'll leave the link of that one in here:

Also, thanks to @coeurhh for suggesting I write a second part. You're a sweetheart 🥰

She made a lovely fanart/gif, which I'm also sharing, of course:

Prompt: AU. Sakura's death goes unnoticed to everyone but the squad she protected with her life and Tsunade. Team Kakashi doesn't find out until the very end, when Naruto and Sasuke have already had their fight, and there's nothing to do about it but mourn the absence.

Warning: Mild Sasusaku and lots of angst. Team 7 sort-of-fluff (?)

—Blue Bird, Let Go—

"Hey, bastard... I know they really let us down, the village, I mean."

"Aa... "

"But I really think it's not all that bad. When we were I team, I knew you understood. It felt like having a brother, believe it."

They were watching their lives go by, shadows of unknown faces passing by them, not noticing their pain, or not caring whatsoever. Their backs were touching, but it was all cold and bleak; a bad memory. A clan slaughtered, a demon sealed. Two lonely boys wallowing in their own sadness.

"Well, even if I don't make it, I'm glad it was you, bastard—"

"Shut up, idiot." His voice sounded strained, even for his standards, but Sasuke was so tired he couldn't even bring himself to care.

"We're really dying, ah? Wanna say something? I do have things to say, 'cause there's no way I'm dying—"

"In silence?" Sasuke interrupted, but Naruto payed him no mind.

"Without telling you how much of an asshole you've been! I couldn't even keep my promise to Sakura-chan! She's gonna be so damn mad when she finds out, I'm sure she'll drag me back to life just to cave my face in—" He was rambling at that point, but it was just so comforting and normal to Sasuke that he didn't even acknowledge it anymore.

"Hn. Sakura... She..."

"She still loves you, asshole. I don't have any idea how it can be possible but—"

"I'm sorry..." It sounded rushed, but Naruto heard it perfectly, and in the darkness of their shared consciousness, Sasuke heard a resigned sigh.

"Well, it's not that bad. I cannot imagine dying beside anyone but you, bastard."

"Idiot..." He made a pause. "Me neither."

"You're both a pair of idiots!"

Suddenly, the unreadable mass of unrecognizable faces around them cleared, and one figure stood in front of them, pink eyebrows frowned in annoyance. Though this version of Sakura looked familiar, it was one none of the boys had seen in a long time. Genin, long-haired, Sakura was glaring at them, arms crossed.

"Sakura-chan! What are you doing in here?!"

Her eyes softened. "What, so I'm supposed to let you two die, after everything? No way in hell!"

"Sakura..."

"You!" She pointed at Sasuke, who flinched slightly at her rudeness. "I don't know what the hell happened, but I don't care. Lighten up and start being your moody self. We love you just like that! Don't act so repented and shit! If you're sorry stop looking like a lost puppy and start doing something about it, you asshole!" Her voice was raising with madness and it was slightly off putting to see what used to be a stuttering lovestruck preteen talking to him like that.

Naruto snorted at that, obviously delighted for not being at the receiving end of her wrath for once. It was short-lived, however.

"And you!" She pointed at the blonde; then crossed her arms. He jumped back in fright. "What is this? How dare you even consider dying after you promised to be the best goddamned Hokage in history?! Here I am, rooting for you, while you lay around like a lazy pig with your edgy bro there. You should be ashamed of yourself!" She scoffed.

Naruto's mouth was so wide open he could have caught a fly. "Lazy pig? Are you kidding?!"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, half amused, half annoyed. "Edgy?"

Suddenly, the edges of their vision began to blurr, like a genjutsu being unravelled. "Ah, someone came to help you at last." Sakura seemed relieved. Strangely so.

"Hey, Sakura-chan! You know what? You're right. I'll be the best damn Hokage ever, believe it! Just you watch!" He threw a punch to the air.

Seemingly placated and pleased with his answer, she nodded. "I know so." Then, she turned to her other teammate, who was concentrating solely on her face, mismatched eyes softened as they'll ever be. "And you'll make sure he doesn't mess up, right?"

They shared a long silence. There was something strange about Sakura aside her appearance. He could tell. "Hn. I will..."

"Hey! I don't need him watching over—"

"Sure you don't." He countered sarcastically.

"Also..." They turned to her again. "I'm sorry."

"Wha—" Naruto stuttered. "What the hell would you be sorry for, Sakura-chan?! If anything, it's the bastard here who should be apologizing to you!"

"Sakura..." Sasuke seemed to be searching for the right words, but she couldn't let them go without them listening to her. To what she needed them to know. There wasn't much time left after all.

"I'm sorry, because I wasn't what you needed..." She closed her eyes, her pretty minty orbs. Her appearance suddenly shifted, before then now standing her true self, still dressed in the standard shinobi uniform of the alliance. Her forehead protector lost to whoever knows where. "And thank you. You both made me stronger. You made me appreciate what I had. And I'll always, always love you. Our moments together like team seven... I'll treasure them for all eternity."

"Sakura-chan..."

"I know Konoha wasn't the best to you both, but don't forget the good... The wholesome moments. It's all that matters in the end... Our bonds, the bonds you managed to forge with sweat and blood... The world we live in, the world that gave me the chance to meet you. To me, that's to be cherished. Forever."

The white light started overwhelming the rest. Even Sakura's features started dissapearing.

"Live. Just live." For that, she specifically stared at Sasuke, a soft smile playing on her lips. "And thank you."

Sasuke started racing towards her, hand stretched, a forebonding understanding shaking his bones. "Sakura!"

And then, they both lost consciousness.

When they woke up, aside from feeling like shit, the first thing that crossed their minds what the finality of Sakura's words. Tsunade was beside them, patching them up, with Kakashi beside her, silently watching over them.

"About time, brats! What were you think—"

"Baa-san." Naruto interrupted her, his voice the most serious she had heard him until then.

"Where's Sakura?" Sasuke finished for him, his eyes icy and detached, trying to keep his worry at bay.

But she didn't need to answer. Her chakra flow hesitated, spiking with sorrow. Her eyes glistening with unbearable loss. Kakashi, at her side, stared, eyes widened in comprehension.

She was gone by a long shot.

And they were just finding out.

...

Everybody had different ways of dealing with loss. Naruto helped rebuild the village along with everyone else, but he skipped his usual meals, his ramen left forgotten in his kitchen counter. His movements when sparring were sloppy at best, not just because of the new prosthetic limb, but also because his mind was clearly somewhere else. Usually, Shikamaru would drag him out his makeship house, like he had done when Jiraija was gone for good. Sometimes, he would bring Ino with him, who was suspiciously skinny and messier than normal. No makeup covering the dark circles under her eyes.

Kakashi spent more than usual at the memorial stone every day, tracing the newly marked name of the girl who once remained him of Rin but that had come to claim a place for herself in his heart. Also, he took more missions than it was allowed in a month, going so far as to pick up his ANBU mask again, which caused an altercation with Tsunade, who hadn't been sober in a long time and had been hoping to hand the Hokage seat to him.

Sai avoided the color pink for a long time.

Sasuke... Well, he dealed with loss the same as everyone else... Longing for the missing person to be there, itching to have the opportunity to say what he couldn't at the time. Wanting to be alone whenever they would reach for him... And he built a tomb for her in hopes to find some closure. Not that official, because there wasn't a body to bury, and it had no name, but it was enough for him. He would bring with him camellias every day, buying them at the Yamanaka's, where Ino would always glance at him in silent understanding.

One morning, on his way to her tomb, he spotted a young shinobi leaving a white lilly for her. When he came by, the child spoke without a care, like they were acquaintances. "This is Sakura-san's, right?"

"Hn." It wasn't really an answer, but the child seemed to understand anyway.

"You know? Mama and big sister are also buried in these grounds... I always talk to them and tell them about my day and stuff I want them to know!" He turned to the Uchiha, a smirk on his cherubic face. "I'm sure she would appreciate it as well." And just like that, he left without another word.

Sasuke sat on the ground, just in front of the stone, mismatched eyes half lidded. Sensing no one in the vicinity, he exaled a shaky breath, and his dam opened up, the words longing to be said broke the silence he had been wrapping around himself since he knew of her death:

"I miss you... I've been missing you since I first left."

[candymeowz]

Sya, I just read Solomon's Birthday Event and I cried :')

I don't usually cry when it comes to fictional stuff, especially Obey Me when all they did in this game is full of crack 😂😂

But seriously, there's this one part in the event that got me crying. I think it was Solly saying that when he's immortal, he kinda forgot the joy in life. Everything seems bleak and bland to him because he know he's gonna live forever... And then he said 'But when I met you and the others, I feel like my life has meaning again' and idk... It kinda stabbed me and I cried so bad ㅠㅠ

POOR OLD MAN IS LONELY!!!!!!

AND AND AND ANDDDDD!!!! THE KISS SCENE!!!!! "Let this kiss be my promise to you. Even though we don't know what the future holds (aka you will die and I will grieve for your death) I'll be by your side forever"

KILLED ME

-Miss Kitty who's still crying

I KNOW HE'S SUCH A SWEETHEART HE DON'T DESERVE THIS PAIN DAMN IT AHHHHH 😭

Also, saw your post. Come join the Solly simp squad. *Extends my hand like a mysterious magician

[rynne311]

It’s Okay

Summary:  A rescue that wasn't quite successful leaves more than just you panicked in the night.

Word Count: 705

Requests are Open

The cold metal cut into your wrists, mixing the dirt and sweat into the stinging wound.  You couldn't make much out around yo in the darkness, but the musty smell led you to believe you were somewhere underground.  You wanted to whimper in pain, but the last time you had left you beaten and praying for it to end.

You winced as you tried to adjust yourself into a position slightly less uncomfortable.  Your whole body ached, and you could only imagine you were covered in bruises.  Your knees betrayed you, buckling out from under you, pulling all of your body weight down on your shoulders and chained wrists.

"You're nothing but poison," the guard seethed at you once he realized you were conscious again.  His accent seemed vaguely familiar, but you couldn't quite place it.

From outside the corridor, you could make out some muffled fighting.  You hoped you were being rescued from this bleakness, but still, you prayed your family hadn't put themselves in danger on your account.  Your heart sank almost as quickly as it rose in excitement at the sight of your son.  Of course he would fight his way into some fortress in an effort to set you free.

Surprisingly, at the sight of Damian the guard opened the gate to your little dirt floor cell.

"It is up to you to destroy the source to all of this poison in the League," the guard prompted as Damian stepped over the threshold.  His confident step wavered as he viewed the battering you'd received at the hands of those who should be his subordinates in the League of Shadows.

You knew by that statement you weren't leaving that cell alive.  To the members of the League, you were the reason their heir stayed away and turned his back on their principles.  They needed you out of the way before they could restore your son to his former glory and position among them.

Damian hesitated as they placed the katana in his hands.  He knew just as much as you did what they wanted.  He looked at you with true fear in his eyes at the thought of betraying the love you'd shown him, but you both knew it was a futile plan to fight your way back out of this hellish dungeon.

"It's okay, sweetheart," you said through the pain.  Each word was agonizing and you were sure you had a few broken ribs to blame.  Still, you knew it was your duty to comfort your son.  "I know you don't want to do this, but it's the only way for you to keep yourself safe."

He opened his mouth to argue and you could see the tears brimming his eyes.  Instead you cut him off and continued, " I forgive you for doing what you have to.  I need you to understand that.  I love you, Damian, and whether I'm here or not, I'm always going to love you."

"Enough!" The guard commanded as he moved in to beat you into silence again.

Before the man could reach you, Damian, in an act of mercy plunged the katana into your chest and through your heart.  As he let go, his hands were shaking.

You jerked yourself awake, relieved to turn and find Bruce sleeping soundly next to you.  Silently, you got out of bed and went to the en suite to splash some water on your face to wash away the nightmare.  When you returned to bed, there was Damian sitting on the edge of your side of the bed, silent tears streaming down his face.  You sat next to him, pulling him into your side and running your fingers through his hair.

"It's okay, sweetheart," you cooed softly. "It was just a bad dream.  I had it too." Damian tilted his head to get a better look at you as he tried to stop his tears.  You held him a little tighter to stop your own from starting.

You both laid back down, while Bruce remained undisturbed.  At least if the nightmare returned for the two of you, you could wake to find the other right there and okay.  Neither one of you needed to feel alone in the darkness.

Tags:

Everything: @societiesholyskittle @pickyblue12 @icycoldbeanieweanies @thoughtfullychaoticdreamer @bloatedandlonly @sakurafille @jason-todd-squad @childofposeidonforlife @webcraft4eveh 

Damian: @princessowly1234 @maggiedumbledore @drarrylov3r 

Want to be tagged?�� Let me know via message or ask box!

[jacksgreysays]

One of my favorite fandom things is to see the protagonists of other stories as the background characters in fanfic for a completely different story. An example would be, say, the Inuyasha cast as the background ninja manning a border outpost. Not as protagonists in their own rights, but as obviously enough themselves that you can fill out their stories, lol. Do you have any characters you think would be great for that? Even OCs! And how would you need to adapt them to not be protagonists?

I also enjoy that trope! I don’t see it as often as I like? Or, well, I don’t see it often as more than just “I needed five names and I might as well use these names” as opposed to a more integrated “these five characters would work well in this universe, here’s a little easter egg for my readers”

I do something similar in Naruto/DoS fic… maybe not “protagonists” of other stories but definitely would-have-been secondary characters in other stories are still around.

For example, the teammates of my other Naruto fic. In Counterpoise it’s Ringo Nohara and Zakuro Yuuhi who graduated two years before the Rookie Nine and then in Externality it’s Komadori Ouba who graduated the same year as Team Gai. And then, I guess, arguably Kiyoshi Utsugi who is the main character in (In)Difference and possibly Kakashi’s mom?

All three of them are alternate universes but the first two–Counterpoise and Externality, that is–are alternate universes in a different way from (In)Difference. Because Counterpoise and Externality are “what if X character existed and were relevant to Naruto/Naruto’s story” ie Konran, Naruto’s twin sister or Tetsuki who helps Naruto graduate a year early and thus becomes his genin teammate. 

Whereas (In)Difference is an AU of “what if Kakashi’s mom was an SI!OC/had knowledge of canon” even though, when I was first building her I didn’t make her with being Kakashi’s mom in mind. I made her to be a kunoichi of an age with the Sannin and then had to figure out what would make a good teammate for Dan Katou (aka Tsunade’s boyfriend) and That One Guy who was on the same mission as when Dan died and who ACTUALLY HAD A NAME? aka Kunugi Mokume. So, like… with those two in mind, who would make a good teammate abilities-wise and then… it just kind of… grew into well, I guess she’s Kakashi’s mom.

I’m getting off track. So… even through (In)Difference is an AU, Kakashi obviously still exists so his mom must still exist so I just generally use “Kiyoshi Utsugi” as his mom whether or not it’s the (In)Difference version who has canon knowledge or not. But in Counterpoise and Externality, that’s the only instance in which Konran Uzumaki and Tetsuki Kaiza exist [in the Naruto world]. But their would-have-been-teammates still exist without them, so I use them pretty frequently as like. “Oh, I need a character who’s approximately this age and would be in the RnD department. Let’s use Komadori” Or “Hey, this person is going to the hospital but it’s not a major injury so they’d have a baby medic look at it, here’s Ringo.”

I actually designed Ringo and Zakuro to be the “those two guys” for the Konoha Twelve? Like, not part of the group, obviously, but a background sort of… like Izumo and Kotetsu?

So, I guess, the how do I do it for these characters is more of a… well… I took away their genin teammate so they didn’t pass their assigned jounin-sensei’s test so they went into Genin Corps/Medic Corps/had an apprenticeship or whatever… which I guess is kind of bleak.

Um…

I also had a fairly recent almost-use of this concept. In more of a fleeting daydream-y than a full brainstorm-y way and it had more to do with a reaction to a BnHA fanfic I read that then spun wildly out of control…

I should try to make a proper post out of it since it’s the advent calendar:

Fake Fic Summaries, 25/? the Alternate Lightning edition (2019-12-17)

Strikes But Does Not Roar

Izuku never gets One For All. He doesn’t go to UA. He doesn’t become a Hero.

But heroism isn’t just for the professionals. Neither is happiness or Family.

It’s a vigilante!Izuku, basically. But, specifically, a KHR!vigilante!Izuku.

I’m talking a reverse Tetsuki Kaiza ‘verse!

Just kidding, knowledge of Tetsuki Kaiza is not needed (ALTHOUGH)

The idea actually came to me as a weird knee-jerk response to bakudeku fic Just Like The Comics by brichibi which I do recommend if you A) like bakudeku fic, B) like AUs, and C) like screaming at your screen when fictional characters are having mutual pining romantic drama but also legitimate relationship issues and not just RomCom-esque misunderstandings 

It’s a very complex set of feelings.

And without getting too much into spoiler territory, there was a lot of discussion of Achieving Your Dream versus Being Happy and because I still have conflicting feelings about the bakudeku ship, part of me was like… okay, but what if an AU of this fic in which Izuku decided, well, just because I can’t be a hero doesn’t mean I can’t help people still in the most dangerous way possible.

And then I also thought, a little bit, how… not funny… but a greater slap in the face to Bakugou if Izuku started dating someone who, on the surface, was very much like him but on the surface a worse version. Like, on paper that is. Because Bakugou is probably very handsome, if he weren’t always so >:(, and very smart and successful and devoted to being a hero. Great, fantastic, Bakugou will probably achieve his dream of being the number one hero with or without Izuku.

But will he be happy?

Versus, Izuku in this AU will never achieve his dream. Has, actually, given up on his dream or, at least, the original version of his dream. But he can still help people. And if he happens to find happiness with a loud, pale-haired, bright eyed, muscular vigilante whose punches can kind of explode things then… well… Ryohei Sasagawa is not the smartest of dudes, but he is a good sunshine boy who I and Tetsuki love very much.

So this AU takes the brichibi’s theme of Achieving Your Dream vs Being Happy and twists it into an unhappy ending (for Bakugou, at least) because instead of both of them getting both, each of them only get one.

Well, that’s the origin of the AU, but it kinda took a life of its own when I decided to use KHR characters and this is where this weird fake fic summary finally becomes relevant to your ask, lionheadbookends, because it wasn’t just the idea of Ryohei vaguely looking like Bakugou and rubbing salt in a broken up bakudeku’s wound. It also wasn’t even the fact that IZUKU IS COVERED IN GREEN LIGHTNING WHENEVER HE USES OFA. It also also wasn’t even the whole “Vongola started off as a vigilante group” thing, though all of these did help, of course.

But the cold, brutal thought that in this world of quirks–where Izuku’s misery comes from being quirkless–that another boy who had been so bullied and ridiculed and given a cruel nickname would also be quirkless… and still, eventually, find happiness despite it. That’s right, I’m talking about Dame-Tsuna.

And, okay, I suppose I have to decided whether or not Dying Will Flames exist. I do know they are independent of quirks if they do exist. And while I would love to stick with the theme of “you don’t need powers to be a hero” I have no idea how Tsuna’s Guardians would have formed around him (specifically, Gokudera, Mukuro, and Lambo… although as an Actual Child, he will not be holding the Guardian title… if they even do still structure themselves that way)

Anyway, Tsuna is quirkless as well and all of his “Guardians” have weak quirks or quirks that aren’t applicable to being a hero but they still go out and be vigilantes anyway. Like, for example, Ryohei probably has a minor healing quirk. He did not want to be a doctor. But he likes helping people, even if its not through his quirk, and he wasn’t going to not help people just because his quirk didn’t match up to his methods. (Kyoko also has a minor healing quirk, and while she did go into the medical field she decided to be a NEUROSURGEON where her quirk isn’t exactly useless but doesn’t really apply during the main part of CUTTING PEOPLE’S BRAINS).

And Izuku probably falls into this group because he, I dunno, decides to take some self defense classes finally and Ryohei’s either the teacher or an assistant or something and that’s their meet cute but really it’s the introduction to Izuku being like… the friendly boy who I maybe like has way more bruises on his face than class sparring explains? WTF? He’s going out at night and fighting crime illegally with a bunch of his friends? (With or without Dying Will Flames) and then Izuku is just like… I WANT IN.

Anyway, because this is from Izuku’s POV, it does make the KHR squad into the non-protagonists. Not necessarily “background” characters, but secondary characters for sure. Although if we focus on the unrequited bakudeku aspect of it, then the vigilantism does become the “background” for the “childhood friends and former high school sweethearts dichotomy drama of Achieving Your Dream vs Being Happy…”

Tetsuki might exist here but definitely as a background character. She does a lot of undercover stuff as in canon for Trailblazers

… this probably isn’t what you wanted, lionheadbookends…

[heroicintention-a]

ALL THE QUESTIONS! (For Mary)

💓 When did they have their first crush?

Mary’s first crush was in sixth grade. Being the little rebel she was, she set her sights on an eighth grader. She never spoke to him, still being shy in sixth grade. Middle school made her a loudmouth, taught her how to tell people off and how to sass everyone within a ten foot radius– much to her parents’ irritation. In her freshman year, she saw that first crush again and wasted no time making sure he noticed her. Of course, she didn’t ask Joseph out and she definitely played hard to get. (Also I adore the idea of Joe and Mary being high school sweethearts??? Please??)

❤ Have they ever been in love?

Yes. Mary was madly in love with Joseph when they got married and she’s still very much in love with him. 

💕 How easily do they fall in love?

It has only happened once (or so Mary will claim and she will deny otherwise), but she falls pretty easily. With Joseph, it was incredibly quick but this may also be because her home life wasn’t great. He was like a lifeline and a constant as she watched her parents going through a particularly nasty divorce.

💖 How do they say ‘I love you’ without really saying it?

It depends. Mary has a lot of little ways she will say I love you without words. Sometimes it’s walking up and embracing for a long moment, arms around her husbands neck and head placed just right so she can hear his heart beat, fingers tapping it out rhythmically. Or it’s cooking large meals– she did this a lot when she had just dropped out of college and was living with Joseph for the first time, she joked about culinary school but never went– with everything made from scratch. It’s talking about Margaritaville. It’s setting up Margaritaville for when her husband gets home…. lately it’s coming home drunk and instead of shouting, curling up close to Joseph’s side or in his lap or whispering that she wants to dance to ‘that stupid Jimmy Buffett shit.’

😕 Have they ever said ‘I love you’ without meaning it?

Yes. This is one of those times she’ll never admit to and honestly, she doesn’t remember it. It was when she and Robert were out barhopping one night, one of the evenings after Joseph was gone for a full night. She got drunk. Usually Mary can function, she keeps herself to a certain number of drinks, tipsy is usually a better word for her. Or buzzed. But she was drunk, much worse than Robert (thank God he was in somewhat sound mind). The two of them were stumbling walking home. She was humming Hey Good Lookin’ and then he started singing it, and she looked at him and just said it. And then started sobbing… and saying a lot of things. Things she wouldn’t say without drinking. Joseph was awake when Robert got Mary home. Mary collapsed into him. She was asleep before he got her to bed. 

👀 Would they ever enter/have they ever entered into a friends with benefits relationship?

There have been several times such a dynamic has crossed her mind. If she wasn’t with Joseph, she probably would. As it is, she is a faithful wife and plans to remain that way.

💋 How old were they when they had their first kiss?

She was thirteen. It wasn’t with Joseph but with one of her friends at a sleepover during a game of truth or dare. 

🚗 When did they go on their first date?

Define date. The first time she went out with Joseph, she snuck out the window to go to a party and may have gotten a little tipsy off of wine coolers. And may have thrown up in the host’s pool (Joseph held her hair and after that made sure she ate and drank water if she had any drinks). 

Their first legitimate date wasn’t until a year into their relationship because her father didn’t like her dating an older boy… but her mom didn’t care. Being old enough at the time of divorce to decide where she stayed most of the time, Mary would go to her mom’s when Joe asked her out so there wouldn’t be a fuss. Her mom loved Joseph, but mainly she liked that her daughter had a boyfriend. 

🌹 What is their idea of a perfect date?

A night out, no kids, a good wine and dine. Or staying in, still no kids, and a home cooked meal, sharing a bath, flower petals on the bed… Just something romantic, damn it. 

🔑 At what point would they move in with a partner?

With Mary? Probably quickly. She has a good sense of people, and it doesn’t take long for her to know if they’ll get along. In the case of Joseph, she didn’t move in right away. She tried college and moved into a dorm, but she found the entire place depressing. Classes were boring, her professors weren’t motivating… When one of them offered her a raised grade in exchange for a private meeting, she decided she had enough and dropped out. 

She bounced from her mother’s to her father’s, having gotten used to at least a little independence. In the end, she moved in with Joseph and got a job at a run down superstore. Which was also bleak, but she was happy coming home.

💟 What is their stance on PDA?

When she was younger, Mary was a big fan of it. Partially because in high school, it was ‘no PDA’ and she liked being a bit of a troublemaker. And after that? Why the hell should she care? If she wanted to kiss her boyfriend, she would do it. And God the look she got from his mom when they kissed was hilarious.

Now, Mary wouldn’t know how to react to PDA.. But it would probably be somewhat the same.

🍵 Do they prefer to ask out a partner or be asked?

She wants to be asked out. In a way, it’s a self assurance that people want her. 

👥 What is my muse’s sexual & romantic orientation?

Mary would consider herself somewhat flexible, but mainly she is attracted to people with more masculine qualities (for example, she wouldn’t date someone with breasts). More than likely, she would still flirt if she found someone interesting enough, and she wouldn’t mind kissing a woman, but that would be as far as it went.  

💦 When did they lose their virginity?

Prom night, her’s not Joseph’s because she wanted to be eighteen before being involved sexually (or, rather, before having sex). It was more her idea than Joseph’s and for a hot minute, she thought he was going to tell her no after she went to fucking Victoria’s Secret to pick something out. 

⁉ Have they ever questioned their sexuality?

The entirety of middle school after that first kiss. 

💡 What made them realize their sexuality?

She had a bit of a…. interaction freshman year with one of the girls on the cheer squad, before she was with Joseph (but while she was trying to get his attention). It just didn’t feel right to her. She wasn’t into the girl, she didn’t like how she felt… It just didn’t click and she realized that. 

💌 When was their first serious relationship?

High school. Starting in Freshman year. 

💘 What was their most serious relationship?

Same guy as in high school– Joseph.

💝 What was their most recent serious relationship?

She has literally only been seriously romantically involved with one person, and that is her husband Joseph. Even if things aren’t great right now.

💗 What advice would they give a potential partner about making their relationship last if they could with no judgment?

Don’t. Fucking. Cheat. 

💫 Have they ever been hit/struck by a partner?

No. Physical violence would be something that Mary wouldn’t stand– or else would retaliate against. But she has never been afraid of Joseph hitting her, and she would never hit him, though while drunk she has shoved him after finding out about an affair. This would probs be different in cult ending ngl.

❌ What is the biggest mistake they make in their relationships?

Having children. Having a miscarriage. Not leaving after the first time. Probably self medicating with alcohol after her miscarriage, and not accepting the mental health that the hospital offered because of the stigma her mother had always put on the subject of psychologists being ‘for crazy people.’

💥 What was their worst relationship?

I mean, she’s miserable and her husband has cheated on her more than once so…

😓 Have they ever cheated on a partner?

Mary has flirted with men, usually when she’s a little drunk and usually to get more drinks or because she sees the men messing with some girl because she loves making shit heads uncomfortable. However, she has never gone farther than that, and after a man buys her a drink (or refuses to) the flirting stops. Usually she also distances herself.

😢 Have they ever been cheated on by a partner?

Yes. Her husband on multiple occasions. 

💞 Would they ever enter/have they ever entered into a polyamorous relationship?

Mary probably still would enter into a polyamorous relationship so long as she felt secure that she would not be left behind in it. She would definitely have guidelines, but it could work. 

😭 When was their first breakup?

She and Joseph broke up for a couple months or so after he graduated. But obviously, it didn’t last. It was mainly because Joseph was supposed to be going far away for college… but things worked out differently, and with a very large bouquet, Joseph asked for Mary to take him back.

💔 What was their worst breakup?

Joseph. Mary was heartbroken. She wouldn’t do much that wasn’t required from her for the first couple of weeks, but she slowly got back to normal. Her father hoped she would meet someone else and she did, but that fell out of the picture when Joseph came back.

👍 What was their most amicable breakup?

Also Joseph (for the few months it lasted). It was a breakup on mutual terms, even though it was upsetting. 

🌙 Have they ever had a one night stand?

Nope.

🍷 How far would they go on a first date?

She doesn’t kiss on the first date.

💍 Would they ever get married?

She is married. And if she and Joseph divorced, she would be open to remarrying. 

💎 Would they rather propose or be proposed to?

Proposed to. Again, it has to do with her sense of self esteem/self worth.

💒 What kind of wedding would they want to have?

Originally, she envisioned something very traditional… Church wedding, bouquet of roses, marble cake… But she and Joseph eloped (which, with their families, was a much better idea), and she decided it was a lot less stress.

👶 Do they want children?

*half laughing, half sobbing*

🍼 Could a partner ever change their mind on children?

Mary did want children, so originally no– her mind wouldn’t be changed. But if it was a ‘if you knew then what you do now,’ she would have stopped after Chris. She wouldn’t risk going through what she did again, the physical and mental pain of it, the slow ruin of her relationship… She’d never admit that though. 

this took over a fucking hour omfg XD

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[dudegetserious]

One of those days

It's one of those days again.

Those days where I can't distract the empty wound in my soul, the feeling of twenty-nine thousand and one boulders on my stomach, arms and thighs, when my head is pounding and seventeen hundred thoughts swarm my mind, where every bone in my skeleton is weak as jelly, my eyes blurry and bleak of colour, my smile struggling to reach just my cheeks.

It's one of those days where I'm exhausted of being tired.

I hardly made it out of my bed this morning.

At school, my friends immediately detect my weak grins and take notice of the deep bags which take place under my eyes, that drag the skin down and replace it with blemished black.

They bombarded me with their enquiries, their words roaring into my sensitive ears. I wince, smile lightly and tell them, "What would a baby between a Zebra and a Penguin look like?" and send them a 'wink-wonk' to ensure my place as the squad's jester, and continue to smirk while they fluster around my pre-meditated question. As soon as they go back to normal conversations, my façade drops, along with my stomach.

I continue lessons as normal, well normal enough, my usual overwhelming aura of confidence and ambition has simmered down; all that's left of that flame is the acknowledgement of my slightly over average intelligence.

It's one of those days where my walls rapidly build up and loom over unwelcome visitors, where I spit polysyllabic words at non-friends that question my mental state. I'm not okay today because it's one of those days.

Not even my friends can make me muster a real smile or laugh, it's heavy today, the cloud weighing in with those twenty-nine thousand and one boulders.

Science is next, my teacher will throw banter at me, which I would normally catch, manipulate to my desire and lunge it right back, eagerly waiting for the next joke to take its swing, but not today. This is what I like the most about these type of days, my teachers will take notice of my 'sadness' and treat me sweetly, sugar-coating every word and calling me 'sweetheart', babying the work and allowing me to wallow in the darkness that dwells in my mangled mind. It's also what I hate the most;  me feeling sad is about as subtle as Elton John dancing around in drag and waving the rainbow flag, trying to hint at his sexuality.

It's one of those days where I simply can't focus on the work, my mind swirls with different types of thoughts, what would I say in an argument with that person, what should I do if this person says this, why am I like this, why do I twitch at least twice a month, why am I hungry, do I have this illness, why did I do that, I got lost in a shopping centre once, I got lost in ASDA once, that was a good episode, why can't I listen, am I abusive, does mum hate me, do I hate me, what about that person, am I really that fat, am I as big as that person or slimmer like that one, who hates me the most, why can't I just STOP-

"Hola!"

She's here. Her goofy smile shines brighter than the sun. Her eyes glimmer with mischief.

Thank god.

"So, today, wait, why did I say today?" She giggles at herself, her hand resting dramatically on her own shoulder while she breathlessly laughs at her own mistake. I find myself smiling. "Anyway, yesterday," I listen to her drag out 'yesterday', finding myself hanging onto every syllable. "I was talking to my mum, right? Right. Anyway I was talking to her about ugly people and my sister walks into the room and I say, 'like that, for example' and my mum bursts out laughing! She's like, 'oh my god!' and I'm like laughing and rolling on the floor CRYING!"

I find my spine relax and feel every muscle go numb, my chest swells with pride and glee while my face glows pink while listening to her. The countless thoughts fade and I sit there, resting my hand on my cheek, listening to her passionately recite what happened at lunch today with her friends. She continues to chirp quite happily by my side, her words soaring through the air.

She smiles at me, I find myself smiling back, the corners of my thin lips reaches to my crinkled eyes.

It's one of those days.