#Black Boys Don't Cry ( Leroy Childress )

[feastingwhispers]

     When he was three, he learned boys don’t pretend to have woman’s hair. Twisting and wrapping some old shirt atop his head earned giggles, smiles, and kisses from his mother. Such a contrast to the narrowed eyes of his grandfather. But truth of the matter is, in spite of what the old Preacher Man felt: cross-dressing was funny. In movies – not real life. Big Mama’s House, Madea, White Chicks…? Young 3rd grade minds would deem these to be but classics. Remedies for rainy days.     When he was eight, he learned of Youtube. With looks enhanced by make-up and wigs: fully fleshed alter-egos lived on some of his most favorite channels. It was a video of a white boy’s sassy, ‘honorary black’ (as Leroy deems her) character that can conjure a good 27k likes. It was videos featuring this character that had people dying in the comment section, waiting to see the next video highlighting them. It has an allure. The very idea of a new person, so different than you, to exist in a three to four-minute video. It sounds more than fun for an eight-year-old to play with.     Leroy becomes Leroy’eesha.   He has on his mama’s lipstick, tossed one of his mama’s wider tops over his jersey, and perched on this very head was a wig where dark ringlets rolled like waves. Leroy’eesha is but a young boy’s Wanda. A Sheneneh before she became an independent, liberated laa-a-a-dy. Somewhere on the line, Leroy’eesha becomes Lee’sha. Lee’sha becomes a part of Leroy, no longer a caricature.  Between the first video and the fifth comes a point where outrageously fictitious tales like snatching the edges off Shyla end and talk about actual familiar topics like that nigga Calvin begin. Sometimes he lays back in that chair, hair flowing over the head of his chair as oh-so-relaxed; he rolls his seat instead of his neck.   It’s not crystal clear. It’s not funny. And very seldom do his stories make sense. No one watches some black kid’s unprofessionally filmed videos nor do they have the care to give such trash a dislike. But audience or not, it’s a hobby - it’s fun to look fly and talk as someone he’d never be on the playground. When you have a friend, a real friend, you can swallow down your shyness. Urge this person to take just a peep at this other side of you. 

    She wondered where Brenda’s wig went. Searched the house top to bottom, felt dumb as dumb could be in-line back at the hair shop, a new wig at her side for purchasing. Even more, she felt embarrassed having to call Brenda with reasons why she would have to reschedule for next week. But now Minnie knows where the wig went off too. Never would she have guessed Leroy hid it in his closet this whole time.    However, Brenda - and even Brenda’s head is in the back of Minnie’s mind. Ms. Edwards is at least in the middle of her mind. Front and center would be Leroy, who sadly sits outside the Principal’s Office with a busted lip.   “—t’be honest?” Minnie eases back into reality as the middle-aged woman reaches a new topic, “He would just be suspended for havin’ a video like that up in a computer lab. But with the way things rolled out, we’re all going to think ‘bout this as a rest period for him. He can come on back by Monday. Tuesday-“   Her brow wrinkles in concern as she blurts, “Wha’bout Jerome n’ ‘nem?” It was uncomfortable for her, feeling this whole time they talked about what Leroy had done whereas the other boys were only mentioned once. And it was uncomfortable for Minnie to even think about including Calvin’s name as a party in the vicious act. All this time, she had no reason but to think he and Leroy were good little friends.  He always coming over their house – Leroy was always at his house. Weekends they were always on that phone. Friends aren’t as good as y’think they are.   “Oh they suspended.” Ms. Edwards emphasizes, thinking her tone could evaporate the young mother’s concern. “But when you get home-“ but truly, she has no idea just how the mother’s concern remains at that all time high. “-just take a look and delete them videos. Let a man talk to him.”   The sheer idea of Micah even learning this about Leroy strikes fear into her heart. 

     But maybe if Micah knew, he wouldn’t be surprised. Minnie thinks, dabbing the cottonball over her baby boy’s lip. For Micah was just one of many who told her Leroy was up under her too much. Still, it didn’t mean he knew his step-son would go as far as imitating women.     Fifteen minutes among Leroy and Minnie has not asked about any videos. She has decided not to watch a single video. Right now in the present, She chooses to smile as bright as she can for such a dim moment.   “Y’know you ain’ goin’ back t’school this week…”   Leroy nods, Minnie tries to enhances her smile.  “Y’can make all types a’lil’ videos while you home over the weekend.” Minnie thinks perhaps she should elaborate on the sorts of videos he can continue making, people to include for more excitement yet, her brain is mush.  Here his mother is. Basically giving him the wig, heart and mind open: but, Leroy cannot put it back on his head.