#Bill's going to find it interesting to navigate that one but on the plus side

[tswwwit]

The smut at the end of portal au is so different from the smut in familiar au, and it took me a second (kinda embarrassing) but im pretty sure its cause dipper has had experience with NORMAL ppl/humans. and because his first time wasn’t with everything that bill is, he has (slightly) more confidence/acceptance when it comes to sex.

In familiar au smuts (even the ones outside of the actual stories that are still built on the foundation that they met and are together brcause of familiar au) dipper said the same, repeated phrases during sex, and the times that they are said is more or less when he can’t take it anymore and NEEDS to tell bill he needs ‘more’ or VERY RARELY that he’s feeling ‘good’. Alot of his thoughts during sex are just his THOUGHTS but in Portal au smut, he directly asks bill ‘do you wanna fuck me’ (obvi with the hesitance that comes with his personality, but its still more forwardness than familiar au dipper could muster on his own), at some point he even tells bill he’s going to ‘come’. Even familiar au dipper’s defiance levels during sex are way higher than portal au’s dipper, portal au dipper not only welcomes it, even asks for it himself. of course context and the defiance itself is a kink between them but familiar au’s dipper’s defiance is subconscious, ingrained, and let out even when not instigated, it seems to me this idea of thwarting his boyfriend in everyway that it even bleeds into their sex life, says something abt his first relationship, first time, first almost everythinf being with a demon. (Im saying that same effect may not be the same later on for portal au dipper, i genuinely think he’ll continue to be welcoming to them doing stuff and leave the defiance as a sex thing or as a response when instigated outside of sex)

These distinctions could mean nothing but its interesting to see the effects having your first time with a demon, wjth BILL, is when you compare it to another you that has experiences and chances to engage in sex that isnt an older, eviler, jerk of a man.

This is purely for fun but i do like to think of the psychological effects of dating a demon. Fiction is fiction and ik im dragging 🙏🙏 love ur writing btw

Those distinctions are intentional! I salute you and thank you for your analysis.

With Portal AU, I was aiming for a Dipper who had experience - albeit rather disappointing experience - with Regular Humans. He knows how it goes with a 'normal' partner, and he's had time to learn a few things about himself. His past has definitely changed how he approaches sex. Bill coming along with his very significant differences - both in dick and general treatment- was a pretty great find.

Meanwhile, Familiar Dipper had his whole existence with Bill colored by inexperience with partners, and, well. Their initial meeting. Which consisted of A: multiple murder attempts, B: stopping him from taking over the world, and C: Both of them being way worse at communicating. It's no wonder he's internalized being more defiant! And that he's less open about what he wants, considering he's figuring it out as things go! Plus, he's probably just more of a brat in general.

Anyway - It's been fun to experiment with how characters change depending on outside influences, and I'm glad it's noticeable!

[lady-divine-writes]

Kurtbastian - “Always and Forever”

Summary: After the death of their daughter Grace, Kurt and Sebastian drift apart. Kurt wraps himself up in his grief so tightly he starts to push Sebastian away, and Sebastian, feeling himself shoved aside when he needs Kurt most, cheats. They make the decision to start over, to leave New York City and their pain behind, and start over again in a house Upstate. Sebastian buys Kurt a "fixer upper" and gives him free reign. While redecorating the room that will be his studio, Kurt comes across something interesting underneath the wallpaper. It starts to become an obsession for Kurt - an obsession that begins to replace Kurt's love for his husband, which Sebastian is holding on to by a thread. Can Kurt and Sebastian break through the pain and the hurt and find a way to fall in love again?

Notes: Inspired by the Klaine advent drabble prompt "ache". So this is a story I started a while ago, but stopped after chapter 4 because it started to get a little too real. But I’ve started revising, and now I’m ready to finish it.

Chapter 1 (3197 words)

“God! That traffic was insane, wasn’t it?” Sebastian complains, pulling off the highway and onto the less congested road that leads to the heart of Manhasset.

Kurt mutters in agreement, but he barely noticed. His right temple has been glued to the passenger side window the entire trip. Eyes pointed skyward, he watched the clouds pass by as they drove, counted the trees, followed a flock of birds as they flew off to warmer climes far, far away.

Away from here, the way Kurt wishes he could.

“I called ahead to turn the gas on. And the electricity... ” Sebastian has been rambling about nothing for the whole hour and forty-five-minute drive, filling the tense air of the Navigator with verbal static. “We’re gonna want to air the place out for a few hours. The realtor told me it stinks like mold but that there isn’t any actual mold in the house. I hired two separate contractors to go through the place anyway and make sure. I wasn't going to take the guy's word for it. He struck me as a sandwich short of a picnic. I mean, you should have seen him, Kurt! He was wearing a purple paisley tie and brown loafers with a grey suit. And not like royal purple. That would have worked. But puce! Jesus Christ!” He chuckles. It bleeds into a nervous cough. “I didn’t say anything, but it would have been nice if you were there to give him some subtle pointers. Or not so subtle. You know how much I love seeing you in action. Oh, and we'll have to go over our insurance policy. I’m having a second independent appraiser… ”

“Are we there yet?” Kurt interrupts, preferring to focus on how the changing leaves mute the skyline than on a single word coming out of his husband’s mouth. Not that he could catch a one the way they’re sprinting off his tongue like lemmings off a cliff.

The trees soothe Kurt, smooth the rough edges of this bumpy ride. They grow differently out here than in the city: springing up in rows, displaying their fall colors, blending one into the other like an ever-changing river - red tree, yellow tree, brown tree, gold tree… 

Their daughter Grace would call out the colors on their long car rides Upstate, conjuring rhymes where there were none. They roll through his memory in her singsong voice.

Green tree… uh... lean tree!

Kurt smiles, clutching on to the sound of her voice.

He's terrified of the day he'll forget what her voice sounds like.

“Just… uh… just a few more blocks,” Sebastian replies, his attempt at chitchat cut short by his husband’s impatient tone. Despite his infinitely expressive voice, Kurt only uses three tones nowadays - angry, impatient, and indifferent. Sebastian hasn’t learned how to avoid any of them, but he hates Kurt’s indifferent tone the most. “Not too far.”

“Good. Because I’m tired of sitting in this stupid seat.” Kurt switches positions, massaging his hip for emphasis. 'Tired of sitting in this stupid seat.' That's what he said. But he meant, 'tired of being stuck in here with you.' 

And Sebastian knows it.

Sebastian turns down two streets that spiral together tighter and tighter until he and Kurt are locked in to their new neighborhood.

Locked in to their decision to move here.

“Here it is.” Sebastian pulls up to the curb at the point before the street turns into a cul-de-sac.

Kurt sits up slowly to accommodate his stiff spine and numb ass. Looking around, he sighs in frustration. “Here what is? There are five houses on this block. Which one is it?”

“Guess.” When Kurt sighs again, Sebastian says, “I’ll give you a hint – it’s one of these three,” and motions to the houses on Kurt’s right. Kurt rolls his eyes but turns to the houses closest. They all appear relatively identical – three floors with a pointed roof and a square porch, reminiscent of a gingerbread house. They probably have basements – a huge selling point in this vicinity. But they don’t call them basements Upstate. They call them cellars. Somehow, the word cellar is more refined, and therefore more acceptable than having a dull, run-of-the-mill, drafty basement.

Need that cellar so you can have the most expensive cabernet on the market on hand in case we need to drunkenly judge Sally Jones’s latest highlight fiasco.

“She should have gone with lowlights, Sharon. (sip) Haven’t I been saying that, Kayla? (sip) Haven’t I been saying that she should have stuck with lowlights? But only around her face. (sip) Ha-ha-ha-ha! Please, pass the brie.”

Kurt spent a good portion of his life living in a basement bedroom, so he’s not above the word. But he remembers a time back in high school when he thought that was the person he would grow up to be. He’d start out as one of the New York elite, then become an Upstate snob. When his kids (two of them – a boy and a girl) were grown and gone, he’d start an artists’ colony. He'd retire to a lighthouse, isolate himself in obscurity while being ironically jaded at the world.

Well, he's nearing forty, and he is jaded, but for entirely different reasons.

The house at the curve in the cul-de-sac is painted a sea green Kurt isn’t thrilled with. But that can be remedied with a bucket of paint and some elbow grease. From its position, it probably gets the bulk of the noon sun. 

There goes their electric bill. 

Kurt knows Sebastian doesn’t care about trivial things like finances, but just because they have the money to spend doesn’t mean they should shovel it out the window. Plus, there's their carbon footprint to think about. But more importantly, there goes his fair skin, which will freckle at every meal while he does nothing other than sit at the kitchen table.

No, thank you.

The house beside it is in a better position, slanted away from direct sunlight. But it’s painted a slate blue that comes across as too harsh considering the neighborhood’s neutral color scheme. Sebastian should know better than to see that house and say, “Yes. That’s it. That’s the one,” unless the inside looks like the Palace of Versailles.

The last house is also blue, but this blue borders on pale grey, a similar shade to his father’s house in Lima. A maple tree has grown through the pavement in front, shading the house and shedding its red-gold leaves all over the front yard. 

And this house has a porch swing. 

He and Sebastian used to talk about owning a home with a porch swing. It became a prerequisite for the home they wanted to retire in. Kurt pictured sitting on their swing side by side in the early mornings, sipping coffee and watching the sunrise.

Sebastian, on the other hand, talked about having sex on the thing and scaring the neighbors.

Same planet, different worlds.

“It’s this one,” Kurt guesses, gesturing to the blue-grey house. “The one with the swing. Isn’t it?”

“Don’t sound too excited,” Sebastian jokes but warily, afraid of what the fallout might be if Kurt doesn’t like it. Sebastian has been climbing a tenuous ladder to make his husband happy. One misstep and he'll plummet back to the bottom, with no certainty that Kurt will let him try to climb up again. It’s his own damn fault, Sebastian reminds himself as they get out of the vehicle. He did this to them, so he’ll let Kurt lash out, let him bare his teeth and his claws, let him dig in with both hands and rip.

Sebastian deserves it.

He leads Kurt up the walkway in silence, past the tree and the swing. He unlocks the front door and pushes it open, standing back so Kurt can be the first one over the threshold. Kurt takes his time, poking his head in first, then taking a hesitant step. This is an all-or-nothing moment for him. In his heart, once he walks inside, there's no turning back.

He sets his foot down, rests his weight on it, and a dozen memories come flooding back: the house he lived in with his mom and dad, the house he and his dad moved into when his dad remarried, the dorm rooms he suffered from high school to college.

The first night he spent in Sebastian's penthouse, the excitement of feeling like he'd found his true home.

The house he dreamed of raising Grace in. 

In the end, they stayed in the penthouse for convenience. He regrets not getting her an actual house with a yard and a swing.

Like this one.

The irony.

The room lists, Kurt's head swims, but he wraps his arms around himself and doesn't let it show. He focuses on the here and now. He's taken a step. He just needs to take another. And another. Keep going. Keep moving forward, or else he'll crumple to the ground.

And Sebastian will rush to catch him.

Kurt would rather bury himself under the porch.

Kurt breathes in through his nose and out through his mouth, relies on a cold and detached demeanor to help him instead of the strong arms of his husband.

This house has a different feel from the open floor plan of the penthouse they've been living in since college. It's cramped around the corners, with a lot more shadows and a lot less noise. Sebastian likes that better. He’s an Ohio native, same as Kurt. But unlike Kurt, he considers himself a country boy. Even though Sebastian built his identity around becoming a state's attorney like his father, he loved the quiet life: wide-open spaces, blue skies, unhurried, and just plain normal. 

Kurt saw Ohio as a cage he couldn't wait to break free from.

Sebastian could have bought Kurt any house he wanted. In that vein, Sebastian feels like a heel for jumping on this one without consulting Kurt first. He reasoned that he'd been the one house hunting, not Kurt. So when a contact told him that the owner of this house, a house Sebastian had had his eye on for a while, was finally selling, it seemed too perfect, especially considering the timing.

Sebastian bent over backward to rescue it from escrow.

Kurt didn't want to leave the city, but it was full of too much pain for him to handle, too many memories, friends and acquaintances who had yet to hear the news, and those who constantly offered their condolences. Few people greeted him anymore without their smiles dropping and the words, “I’m so sorry,” coming out of their mouths, as if joy shouldn't exist around him anymore. 

It made his head, his heart, and his soul ache.

Kurt loved New York City, but there was nothing left for him there but the constant hollow thud he felt whenever he saw something that reminded him of their angel Grace. School would be starting soon. All of her friends will be moving on to the fifth grade. But his daughter...

Life ended for her too soon.

“Here.” Sebastian reaches for Kurt’s hand, but Kurt reflexively pulls it away, slipping his hands into his pockets to cover for his flinching from Sebastian’s touch. Sebastian should be used to it by now, but he isn’t. “Let me show you why I think you’re going to love this house.”

Sebastian jogs up the stairs to the next level. Kurt follows a few steps behind. When he reaches the top, he sees three doors. They pass the first two without mention. Sebastian opens the last.

“Here.” Sebastian crosses to the opposite side and throws open one of two windows, filling the musty space with the crisp bite of autumn. “I thought this room could be your new studio.”

Sebastian knows him too well. The room is perfect. Even at dusk, it’s flooded with natural light. It looks out over the rooftops of the other houses, giving him a view of the surrounding forests and orchards stretching way past the highway. With a little TLC, it could look just like his studio in their penthouse.

Or he can turn it into something new.

Start with a clean slate.

“What are the other two rooms?” Kurt asks offhandedly. He doesn't need to. 

He knows what the other rooms are. 

There are only two rooms they can be.

“A bathroom and the master bedroom,” Sebastian answers, watching his husband stroll across the floor.

“So this would have been… ?”

“A spare? A guest room?” Sebastian shifts his weight from foot to foot, unable to find an easy groove to stand in.

Kurt frowns. No. It would have been Grace’s bedroom if she were still with them. Kurt was trying to get his husband to acknowledge that. Cruelly. But if she were with them, Sebastian wouldn’t have cheated, their marriage wouldn’t be falling apart, and they wouldn’t be running away from their problems.

“I guess I could put a foldout bed in here,” Kurt throws out as he estimates the space.

“You can if that’s what you want,” Sebastian agrees. “Or you’re just saying that to hurt me, which, if you are, you’ll be happy to know, it’s working.”

“I’m not saying that to hurt you,” Kurt eloquently lies. “I’m being practical. I’m not going to have easy access to the Vogue workshop if I live two hours away. If I expect to get a new line started, I’m going to have to pull long hours.”

Sebastian scrutinizes his husband, who’s doing his best to avoid looking at him. “You’re… thinking of starting a new line? You didn’t mention that.”

Kurt shrugs. “Did I have to?”

“No. I mean, I wasn’t sure that you would go back to designing so soon after.” 

"After?" Kurt tilts his head inquisitively but still makes no eye contact.

"After... moving. There's going to be a lot to do here. I thought you'd give yourself a year. Maybe more." Sebastian answers so quickly, Kurt wonders if he'd practiced. They talk in code, this whole conversation a carefully choreographed tango through a labyrinth of knives.

Sebastian didn't mean after moving. He meant after the death of their daughter. Kurt practically spent every spare second he wasn’t designing for work designing with her. Kurt has been a designer since high school. Aside from music, it's his passion.

Sebastian feared Grace's death might sever those harp strings.

"I think you underestimate me. Besides, you’re considering going back to working in the city after… ” 

Pivot, walk walk, close.

The dance changes. They switch places, and Kurt leads.

Kurt isn't talking about them moving or Grace.

Kurt means after Sebastian cheated. 

Kurt only agreed to move out of the city and live in a house he's never seen to keep Sebastian away from the man he's convinced will become too big a temptation to resist the next time they get into any kind of argument. Granted, it took their daughter dying for Sebastian to cheat, but Kurt figures it’ll keep getting easier from now on to come up with an excuse. 

Can't agree on where to go for dinner? Have a huge blowout over which cards to send out for Christmas? That's it! I'm sticking my dick in someone else!

“Anyway, I wouldn’t want to wake you by crawling into bed at four in the morning, not when you have to be at work at six,” Kurt finishes when he’s let that dig soak in long enough.

“I’m not going back to work for a while, remember? That’s what a leave of absence is. And even if I was, why would I mind you waking me?” Sebastian risks a grin. “In fact, I was thinking that it might be nice to get back to what we used to do in the mornings before work. I miss that.”

Sebastian holds his breath while he sees how that remark lands. He waits for Kurt to look at him. Kurt hasn’t been able to look at him, really look at him, since hungover Sebastian came home in a taxi the morning after, clothes ruined, their marriage officially in the gutter. Grace passed away six months ago, which means he’s been waiting for a while. 

He’s still waiting. 

“This isn’t all about you,” Kurt reminds him, raising his eyes to the ceiling.

Kurt didn't yell. But that doesn't mean he's not furious.

“I know,” Sebastian says softly. He rubs his cold hands together, wishing he could stick them underneath his husband’s thick, button-down sweater, and press his palms against Kurt’s skin. A year ago, Kurt would have squealed, “Bas! Your hands are freezing!” But he would have wrapped his arms around himself and held on, would have let Sebastian lean in for a kiss, would have fallen for the line, “Now that my hands are warm, maybe you can help me warm up a few other things.”

Then they would have made love on the wood floor with the door open.

If only he could make Kurt laugh the way he used to.

Then maybe Kurt would love him again.

But going by his husband’s expression, dreary as the olive sweater he holds closed with one hand at the neck, Sebastian knows that now is not the time.

“Is this what you need to make you happy?” he asks. If only it were that simple. If only a house, or a car, or a vacation could turn back the clock and erase everything that happened.

Erase everything Sebastian did, and bring their daughter back.

Kurt doesn't answer right away. He's not purposefully keeping Sebastian in suspense. He couldn't care less what's going on in Sebastian's head. This is his future he's considering. 

He's going to take his time.

He circles the room, contemplating the echo of his footsteps on the roughly finished wood, debating whether or not it's a sound he wants to hear for the rest of his life. If not, is it worth putting in the time to fix it? 

He traces the path of sunlight as it travels across the wall. That brings a new detail to his eye - a torn corner of wallpaper above the open window revealing a word underneath.

Darling.

Kurt eyes it from a distance, tries not to pay too much attention to it in case Sebastian is behind it. It doesn’t look like it was written recently. It's more than likely part of the pattern underneath. But leave it to Sebastian to try to woo his husband back with something syrupy like that. 

Something hopelessly romantic.

Something he thinks Kurt will fall for.

“No,” Kurt answers honestly, re-examining the fading wallpaper, the scuffed floors, the peeling ceiling. His gaze glances his husband’s face and settles on the dust-streaked window. He stares out at the sky, the clouds, the trees, the birds flying wild and free. He’s never going to be able to fly away like that, so he might as well accept this cage he's been given. It's what he's supposed to do, after all. “But it’s worth a try.”

He has little else left to lose.

[intothestacks]

How to Find Read-Alikes On Your Own

A read-alike is, as its name suggests, a book which you might like if you’re looking for books similar to one you liked. Read-alikes can be paired together based on similar plots, settings, pacing, language (e.g. old-timey style, a similar writing style to another author, lots of name drops [think Tolkien’s works or Game of Thrones kind of thing], etc), and more.

Finding you read-alikes is one of the jobs librarians can offer, but if you’re shy about asking for help with this or just want to be able to independently search for your next read, the following three resources are some of the best to get you started:

Likewise

Likewise is an app available for Android and iOS where you can get recommended read-alikes by both the app and other users. You can also make recommendation lists (e.g. “If you liked At Home by Bill Bryson you might like...”) and a saved list of books that caught your fancy. What’s more, you can also look for “watch-alikes” for movies and tv and “listen-alikes” for podcasts (you can even look up restaurants and places!)

Goodreads

Goodreads is a great site for reading nerds to bookmark. You can search for read-alikes without an account, but if you have one you can then save the book in your Bookshelf (which basically consists of whatever lists you want to create).

You can search for read-alikes in two ways. The easiest method is by typing in the book you want read-alikes for into the main search bar and look at the top right corner of the book’s individual page, where you will see the covers for various books liked by people who also enjoyed the same title you did.

The second method can be a bit more hit and miss. You click the browse button at the centre to of the screen, and choose Lists from the dropdown menu.

Once there, there is a search bar on the top right corner where you can type in your book’s title and see what other books are listed with them in the site’s many book lists. 

NoveList Plus

NoveList is a paid service that many libraries pay for which is usually found in the “digital services” section of a library’s website (if you can’t find it, ask your friendly local librarian if your library has the service and if so, how to access it).

NoveList is a fantastic resource for finding read-alikes for themes, genres, writing styles, and so on. It’s actually so good that it’s a go-to resource for librarians when helping patrons find a new book to read.

To search for read-alikes for a specific book, type in the title of the book you want a read-alike for. Once you’re in the book’s page, you can find read-alikes listed on the right side of the page. If you find a book you like, you can even click on a link to see if your library has it in its catalogue!

If you’re interested on finding a read-alike based on genre, your best bet is to click on the Browse Genres  buttons when you scroll down the homepage.

If you have any difficulties navigating the service or want to learn how to search through the service like a pro, NovelList has an button on the topmost banner (How Do I?) to help you surf the site as well as better understand how read-alike suggesting works.

If you’re looking for suggestions for a child or teen, if your library has NoveList K-8 that might be a better place to start, as it functions much the same as NoveList Plus does but the books are all for teens or younger.

[jebazzled]

Why Aren’t People Writing With Me?

Why aren't people writing with me?

Real talk: do you often find yourself waiting weeks or even months between partners replying to your posts? Do people seem to prioritize all their other threads over yours? Do people seem to be just not that jazzed about writing with you? It's the worst feeling, when you're spinning your wheels and on the outskirts, wondering why you're struggling to gain traction. Sometimes, sites just be like that - people writing with their friends, or closed groups hard for a newer member to break into, or folks writing on slow timelines, or not keeping track of how long they've kept a partner waiting. It comes with the territory. But sometimes, it might be your writing that's holding your threads back. I know what you're thinking:

But it's something everyone can genuinely stand to consider, when they're having trouble getting a thread to keep moving: how much of this is my thread partner holding me up, and how much of it is me? Is there anything I can do to keep things moving? No matter how long you've been writing or how advanced a writer you are, it can be easy to forget that writing is ultimately a game of improv, and writing well is only part of the job. Part of the job is setting your partner up for a good time, too.

This tutorial is about writing starters & replies that make your thread partner excited to write back.

We'll be covering:

Starters that stall vs. starters that enthrall (sorry! the rhyme was necessary.)

Common tactics for writing replies - and common pitfalls of them

Alternate approaches to writing replies

Hopefully, these tips and tricks will improve your rp experience - because aren't we all here for a good time?

Onward!

STARTERS

Ah, starters. The bane of every roleplayer's existence. Starters are difficult because they often require some scene-setting, leaving the writer to try to set up a premise and a vibe without powerplaying for their partner. And then, you've got to start the interaction. There's a lot to contend with, so a lot of people avoid starters at all costs.

Personally, I like starting a thread: this way, I'm not waiting on a post; I have control over when it goes up. Thread partners often appreciate you writing a starter for them, so it's an easy way to engender good will. And finally, for me, it lets me make sure the thread is off to a good, actionable start.

Starters come with pressure - the starter sets the tone for the thread. A dud starter will stump your partner on replying, and they may even grow to dread posting. Which isn't fun for either of you!

Some things to consider when crafting a starter that will get your partner excited:

PREMISE Whether you're writing an open thread or a plotted thread for a specific partner, every starter needs a premise. The premise might be simple: perhaps your character is going to pickpocket your partner's. Maybe it's two friends catching up. It could be two strangers bumping into each other in an alley. It might also be more complex: maybe you're setting up an enemies-friends-lovers-enemies-rivals-lovers-friends-enemies plot. Maybe your character is defending the teaching of evolution to schoolchildren before a jury of his peers. Maybe it's a duel.

Generally, the more specific the premise, the better. This doesn't mean you need every beat of the thread plotted out, but it is good to think about: What do we want each character to get out of the thread? 

Think of this as your overall goal for the thread. Is one character seeking reassurance or advice? Is there a business transaction being made? Have you and your partner agreed to hurt one character in a duel? If you can't think of an overall goal or point for the thread, the chances of stalling are high. This is common with "catch up" threads, especially ones in which neither character has particularly exciting updates to share. If only one character is "getting something" out of the thread, be careful in your own posts to set up plenty for your partner to respond to. Not every thread will have equal actionable payoff for both characters, which isn't inherently a bad thing. But if your posts don't give your partner much to engage with, the thread can read as selfish or one-sided - which isn't anyone's intention!

How do we want the events of this thread to impact this character, moving forward? 

Related to the above, if both characters can walk away from this thread without any change - perhaps reconsider the premise or necessity of your thread. There is no shame in not doing a thread when it wouldn't mean anything to character development or plot progression for either character! "Just because" threads are always the first that drop on thread priorities - why not save yourself the trouble, and plot something you will both be excited about?

What is the most reasonable entrypoint for this thread? 

Reality is filled with filler - moments in which nothing interesting happens, but which carry us from point A to point B. Conversation that goes nowhere and just happens for the sake of filling silence. But this isn't reality, this is fiction, which means we can cut the boring stuff and jump straight into the meat. If your premise is Character A pickpocketing Character B, don't open with Character A just wandering around the market, waiting for Character B to wander around the market, so Character A can pickpocket them: close your starter with Character A's hand around Character B's wallet. This gives your thread partner something to respond to (the theft) and in two fewer posts than it would have taken otherwise.

ACTION Dialogue is an engine for plot progression and for character development, and there is nothing quite as satisfying as strong dialogue. But questions, greetings, and other standard ways to launch an in-character conversation aren't your only options.

All a starter needs is action, and saying "hello," "what are you doing," or "hey! That's my pod racer!" are all actions. But actions can be silent, too, so long as they trigger a reaction from your writing partner. Character A pulling their hand out of the butt pocket on Character B's jeans, wallet in hand, begs Character B to react. Character C puking into the same trash can where Character D is searching for the utility bill they need for proof of address gives Character D something to dodge. Character E speedwalking through the grocery store and destroying the greeting card aisle gives Character F something to be horrified at. Even if A, C, and E all do it without saying a word. One thing you'll notice about each of the above premises is that they involve doing something - pickpocketing, puking/dumpster diving, grocery shopping. If you suspect your starters are leaving people underwhelmed, consider building your premise around action. The action doesn't need to be dramatic like the above examples. For instance, let's say that Character G is catching up with Character H after her divorce. They can do this over coffee in Character G's living room - but if they're walking their dogs while Character G's kids are with her ex-husband, you and your partner can use the dogs as emotional stand-ins:

Hannah dug her heels into the ground as Penelope started after a squirrel. Beside her, Gloria and Fifi both seemed not to see it. Hannah had never seen Gloria so out of it, so disconnected from the world around her. It frightened her. "How's Fifi holding up?" she asked, quietly, once Penelope calmed down and they kept walking. "I know Mike wasn't great to her, but - she probably misses the routine?"

Giving the characters some sort of verb to do beyond talking gives you more lenses through which to view an interaction, plus more opportunity for body language for your partner to respond to.

STARTERS: TL;DR Now that we've talked about how to start a thread on the right foot, let's quickly review our main food for thought items. Mind Snacks, if you will:

What do we want to get out of this thread?

Start on track for that result - do not lead with a detour!

Build around action - even small ones

Is the concept of this thread important or interesting? Would we be better served skipping it and writing something else?

REPLIES

Now your thread is off the ground. Excellent! It's a few posts in but your partner doesn't seem very excited - maybe they don't message you about how much they liked your reply, or how fun the thread is so far, or maybe they don't react to the tag in the server; maybe it's radio silence from them until they reply a month and a half later, when they're caught up on the threads they seem to keep shuffling ahead of yours. How do we move your thread up in the shuffle? Make it fun to reply to, and easy to reply to.

COMMON APPROACHES  An easy way to tackle a reply is by having your character react to each action and dialogue from your partner's character:

Maycey slid into the navigator's seat of the L2-47 spaceship, almost kicking over a cup of Dark Matter Decaf.

"Sorry," she said, not looking at Brooks. "Are we still checking out Planet 42601, or did General Berry have us change course?" Brooks watched Maycey enter the cockpit, snorting as she almost knocked over his coffee. Though it wouldn't be funny to see what the brew would do to the controls of the L2-47. "No problem," he said. "General Berry wants us to do a pass over 42601, but we aren't doing a full landing."

This reply covers everything Maycey did in her post, but doesn't advance the thread. What comes next? Brooks hasn't given Maycey much information to process, nothing to act on, no juicy body language to consider. Maycey's writer is fully on their own to advance the thread. To move it forward in a meaningful way, they might come up with a plot development they need to run by Brooks's writer to make sure it's not stepping on anything Brooks had planned. They may need to make up some lore. They may need to expand the premise of the thread. Brooks may or may not have helpful input, but when push comes to shove, Maycey is the one who is going to put it in their reply.

Maycey whipped her gaze to her captain, shocked. "But sir - we've come all this way to rescue 42601. Berry - sorry, General Berry wants us to abandon them? Their distress signal took three days to reach us; the atomospheric poisoning has got to be lethal by now." Her hands didn't touch the controls - she couldn't bear to take them off course to the desperate planet. "Sir, we have to do what's right." Brooks took a sip of his coffee, thinking about his own family back on Orbital Sphere 23-Y2K. They'd put out a distress signal years ago, back in his own training days. He'd seen it during radar detection class, and he'd had to ignore it. For the Good of the Galaxy. Not a day goes by that he doesn't think about the flashing signal on his screen, and about clicking the popup window. Dismiss. This, too, is for the Good of the Galaxy. He has to pretend it doesn't bother him. "The right thing is what General Berry says," he said, putting the coffee cup back in its cupholder. "For the Good of the Galaxy."

All of that work from Maycey, and Brooks only gave us one sentence to propel the plot. Yes, he had a lengthy internal monologue debating it - but that interiority means nothing to Maycey, who isn't a mind-reader. In this scenario, the focus on Brooks's tragic backstory, without giving Maycey anything actionable, sets up a very one-sided dynamic. If this happens consistently over one or many threads, the tragic backstory no longer feels tragic in a meaningful way, but just feels like a trite device to be trotted out - to tell rather than show a reader that a character has depth.

How could this post give Maycey more to work off of? Below is the same reply from Brooks, with additions made in green, rearranged wording in blue.

Brooks could feel Maycey's stare - bewildered and accusatory. He can hardly blame her, but she should know by now that this is how the Galaxy stays out of the Great Bezosian Black Hole. Sheer obedience. He avoided her eye contact, took a sip of coffee. Sheer obedience. Just like years ago - back in his own training days. He'd seen it during radar detection class, his own family's distress signal back on Orbital Sphere 23-Y2K, and he'd had to ignore it. For the Good of the Galaxy. Not a day goes by that he doesn't think about the flashing signal on his screen, and about clicking the popup window. Dismiss. This, too, is for the Good of the Galaxy. He has to pretend it doesn't bother him. "The right thing is what General Berry says," he said, putting the coffee cup back in its cupholder - his hands are shaking; it misses the rim twice, sloshes onto the knee of his parasuit. "For the Good of the Galaxy."

This version acknowledges the primary beat of Maycey's post (something we will talk about later) - that is, her accusation - and adds body language betraying his doubts. While interiority is great, externalization makes it possible for other characters to engage with your character's thoughts and motives. Brooks's new post gives Maycey more to engage with, which will better set her up to give Brooks more to engage with, and so on. When you both do the lifting, you both have a better time.

Another common method - especially in conversational threads, especially in "catching up" premises - is to lean on dialogue and, more specifically, questions. But most conversations we have in life aren't nonstop questions!

"Trudy said you got married," Annabelle said, fiddling with the edge of the linen tablecloth. "Is that true? I thought you didn't like Edgar - not like that." Sasha took an enormous bite of raw cucumber, not even bothering to slice it. "We just got engaged, we're not married yet. Don't you like Edgar?" Annabelle looked away, suddenly nervous. She didn't know why it mattered to her whether or not Sasha liked Edgar - only that it did. "He's fine, I guess. But do you like him?" "I do! I love him. Will you be my maid of honor?" Sasha grinned at her friend. She wanted nothing else in the world but for Annabelle to be part of her special day.

This series of posts involves a number of questions both stated in dialogue:

Is Sasha married?

Does Sasha like Edgar?

Does Annabelle like Edgar?

Will Annabelle be Sasha's maid of honor?

And unstated:

Why is Annabelle nervous?

Why does Annabelle care whether or not Sasha likes Edgar?

The stated questions are yes/no questions, somewhat procedural. The unstated question and its implication - that Annabelle cares about whether or not Sasha likes Edgar because she might like Sasha - is a juicier question than the minutiae of wedding planning. But Sasha's writer isn't letting Sasha notice or react to any of Annabelle's body language (her nervousness, her fiddling with the tablecloth) and focuses instead on the simple questions, which are a cover for what isn't being said. Information does not need to be voiced for it to be acted upon. Let's look at the same line of posts, with additions in green for Sasha and in pink for Annabelle.

"Trudy said you got married," Annabelle said, fiddling with the edge of the linen tablecloth. "Is that true? I thought you didn't like Edgar - not like that." Sasha had wondered when Annabelle would ask. She seems on-edge, fiddling with the tablecloth, as though they've never had a picnic outside before. She's not sure why Annabelle is out of sorts, but it's making her feel out of sorts. Sasha took an enormous bite of raw cucumber, not even bothering to slice it. "We just got engaged, we're not married yet. Don't you like Edgar?" She gently grasped Annabelle's fingers, unclenching them from the hem of the tablecloth. "Edgar thinks you're the bee's knees." Sasha's hand on hers - her stomach did a flip, palms instantly feeling clammy, like she could swoon in the summer sun. Annabelle looked away, suddenly nervous. It's worse that Edgar likes her. Makes her feel vile for resenting him like she does. She didn't know why it mattered to her whether or not Sasha liked Edgar - only that it did. "He's fine, I guess. But do you like him?" It's a silly question - of course she loves him; how could she have said yes otherwise? But Annabelle seems not to believe her. Annabelle seems to worry. Annabelle is worried so much of the time - and so much for her - she tries to be reassuring, gripping her friend by the shoulders, offering a grin. "I do! I love him. Will you be my maid of honor?" She wanted nothing else in the world but for Annabelle to be part of her special day. Annabelle is her best friend - the only person she could stand at the altar with besides Edgar.

See how much more complex the dynamic is between these two when they have things to react to other than dialogue?

REPLIES PART 1: TL;DR So now we've addressed two common approaches to replies and seen how they can fall short, and discussed tips for elevating them. Your main takeaways:

Acting is reacting - react to your partner's dialogue AND body language, and give them some to work from, too!

Dialogue is not a game of Questions Only

If you're not driving the thread forward, you're slacking - don't leave it to your partner every time!

SYNTHESIZING: YOUR NEW APPROACH TO WRITING REPLIES

Now that we've discussed the pitfalls of action-by-action responses and dialogue-only threading, let's synthesize all of the above into one methodology for writing replies. The common pitfall of action-by-action responses is that one writer ends up only ever progressing the thread one sentence at a time - thinking of a post in terms of beats helps separate what actually needs substantive response, versus what is background information to inform your response. When I write a reply, I copy and paste my partner's post into the wordcounter window where I write my posts. I read their post and identify the beats - that is, what actually happens. For example: 

Getting elected student body president was no joke. Hattie had worked for eleven long years to earn the position - bossed around her peers all the way from preschool. Back then, she'd been interested in power and prestige. But by the time she'd won the election junior year, she was exhausted. Now, on her first day of senior year, she was just excited about the choice parking spot. And yet, someone had the audacity - the nerve - to cut her off on the turn into the Keppler Family Parking Pavilion and slide right into her coveted parking spot. Crooked, so they took up the access lane to the adjoining handicapped spot. Too far forward, enough that she could see the metal RESERVED FOR STUDENT BODY PRESIDENT sign shaking on top of its pole. She threw herself out of her car, aiming the sole of her left Doc Marten into the license plate of the offender's Buick. "Hey, genius, there's no fucking run-off election this year!"

Because this is a starter, much of this is scene setting, which my partner could choose to echo, but the main things for them to react to are what my character - Hattie - offers in the moment:

dramatically throwing herself out of the car

kicking their license plate

swearing at them

Once I've distilled a post to the beats I need to respond to, I work my way through them, creating beats for my partner to respond to. With this method, a reply to the above might look like this:

Aunt Mildred's car was affectionately called The Boat for the first ten years of its life. Huge and unsinkable. That had changed when Aunt Mildred died in a boating accident over the summer, leaving Mikey the Boat's captain. Now, he just called it the Buick. And he wasn't very good at driving it - already he'd been honked at twice, overshot the turn into the parking lot, tires riding up on the curb. He pulled into the first available space. Figured he was outside the lines - but it seemed like the Buick was too wide to fit between lines anyway. And Aunt Mildred had never been one to follow rules. The terrible park job was in her memory. The sound of metal crunching at the back of the car, however, was not. If it's an accident, the Boat - the Buick - always wins, so Mikey gathered his violin case and drawstring backpack from the passenger seat, opened the driver's side door, and slowly got out of the car, turning his beanie backwards as if it mattered while he shuffled in his Adidas slides to the trunk, where a very short, very angry girl driving a Smart Car was trying to put the Boat - the Buick - in its place. "The car's not moving," he said, pulling a roll of Bubble Tape out of his backpack and taking a huge bite out of it. "But thanks for telling me my voting rights."

Mikey responds to Hattie's abuse of his car, but also gives Hattie a lot to respond to - minor dialogue, but a LOT of personal eccentricities that are bound to piss her off.

The dialogue and the action contribute to the trajectory of the thread - and giving Hattie something to play with keeps the musing about Aunt Mildred from feeling self-indulgent.

It's a small shift, going from thinking of posts as paragraphs to respond to to thinking of them as specific, small, actionable moments - but it makes a difference, especially in encouraging writers to be more thoughtful about creating opportunities for their partner to react.

REPLIES PART 2: TL;DR

beats, babey! not every sentence requires a response, but be sure to write some that do, whether it be dialogue or action.

ACTING IS REACTING!!!!!! if you don't give your partner something to react to, you are letting them down!

And that's all there is to it! Hopefully these examples are helpful as you think about ways to drive your plots and threads, and how to keep your own writing great for collaboration. The most important thing is to think of your writing partner. What do they need to be able to write back? What will make this thread exciting for them? How can you make sure this thread isn't serving you alone? Cheers, and happy writing!

[welllpthisishappening]

Welllp These Are Books: the June 2021 Edition

I have read a lot of books this month. That should be stated upfront. Just an absolute metric ton of books. Some real good, some not-so good, some inadvertently hysterical. Also, I made that BINGO board. Because, like, you ever have a total crisis of writing-confidence and ignore that potential freakout and the tendency of your coworkers to miss deadlines by reading every free Amazon sports romance you can find? And several full YA series? In one month? No? My experiences are not universal, I understand. Anyway, there’s thoughts and opinions and spoilers under the cut. Everyone read the Once Upon a Con series, I’m begging you.

READ THIS SERIES! PLEASE! EVERY BOOK WAS SO CUTE! EVERYONE IN EVERY BOOK WAS SO CUTE! THE FANDOM STUFF DID NOT GIVE ME SECOND-HAND EMBARRASSMENT!

Geekerella by Ashley Poston Part romance, part love letter to nerd culture, and all totally adorbs, Geekerella is a fairy tale for anyone who believes in the magic of fandom. Geek girl Elle Wittimer lives and breathes Starfield, the classic sci-fi series she grew up watching with her late father. So when she sees a cosplay contest for a new Starfield movie, she has to enter. The prize? An invitation to the ExcelsiCon Cosplay Ball, and a meet-and-greet with the actor slated to play Federation Prince Carmindor in the reboot. With savings from her gig at the Magic Pumpkin food truck (and her dad’s old costume), Elle’s determined to win…unless her stepsisters get there first. Teen actor Darien Freeman used to live for cons—before he was famous. Now they’re nothing but autographs and awkward meet-and-greets. Playing Carmindor is all he’s ever wanted, but the Starfield fandom has written him off as just another dumb heartthrob. As ExcelsiCon draws near, Darien feels more and more like a fake—until he meets a girl who shows him otherwise. 

The Princess and the Fangirl by Ashley Poston Imogen Lovelace is an ordinary fangirl on an impossible mission: to save her favorite Starfield character, Princess Amara, from being killed off. On the other hand, the actress who plays Amara wouldn’t mind being axed. Jessica Stone doesn’t even like being part of the Starfield franchise—and she’s desperate to leave the intense scrutiny of fandom behind. Though Imogen and Jess have nothing in common, they do look strangely similar to one another—and a case of mistaken identity at ExcelsiCon sets off a chain of events that will change both of their lives. When the script for the Starfield sequel leaks, with all signs pointing to Jess, she and Imogen must trade places to find the person responsible. The deal: Imogen will play Jess at her signings and panels, and Jess will help Imogen’s best friend run their booth. But as these “princesses” race to find the script leaker—in each other’s shoes—they’re up against more than they bargained for. From the darker side of fandom to unexpected crushes, Imogen and Jess must find a way to rescue themselves from their own expectations...and redefine what it means to live happily ever after. 

Bookish and the Beast by Ashley Poston In this third book of the Once Upon a Con series, Rosie Thorne is feeling stuck—on her college application essays, in her small town, and on that mysterious General Sond cosplayer she met at ExcelsiCon. Most of all, she’s stuck in her grief over her mother’s death. Her only solace was her late mother’s library of rare Starfield novels, but even that disappeared when they sold it to pay off hospital bills. On the other hand, Vance Reigns has been Hollywood royalty for as long as he can remember—with all the privilege and scrutiny that entails. When a tabloid scandal catches up to him, he’s forced to hide out somewhere the paparazzi would never expect to find him: Small Town USA. At least there’s a library in the house. Too bad he doesn’t read. When Vance’s and Rosie’s paths collide, sparks do not fly. But as they begrudgingly get to know each other, their careful masks come off—and they may just find that there’s more risk in shutting each other out than in opening their hearts.

— I cannot possibly overstate what an absolute delight this series was. Cute and sweet and adorable. Like rot your teeth sweet with romances that my high-school self would have swooned over. (I would have been so in love with Darien Freeman as a 16 year old, it’s not even funny. Also, I would have been obsessed with Starfield.) Let’s be honest, my current self swooned quite a lot. Reading these books genuinely felt like a love letter to fandom. To the good and bad and trashy parts of it, and it made my heart swell thinking about these fictional kids and the community they found and how much they learned and then they FELL IN LOVE and, like, not to sound like an after-school special, but: THE REP IN THESE BOOKS?!?? HOLY S H I T. So good. So goddamn good. And not, like, shoved to the side. Like, Jess falls in love with a girl. And it gets its swoon-worthy moment as much as anyone else. Plus, bi-librarian dad who wears suspenders??? Sign. Me. Up. Twisting the fairy tales into the stories also worked really well in my opinion. Honestly my only gripe was that Darien found a cell phone number in the white pages, but, like, everything else was a joy. Please read these books. I promise they will make you smile.

IN WHICH I CAN NEVER TURN DOWN A BEAUTY AND THE BEAST ALTERNATE UNIVERSE

Cruel Beauty by Rosamund Hodge Betrothed to the evil ruler of her kingdom, Nyx has always known that her fate was to marry him, kill him, and free her people from his tyranny. But on her seventeenth birthday when she moves into his castle high on the kingdom's mountaintop, nothing is what she expected—particularly her charming and beguiling new husband. Nyx knows she must save her homeland at all costs, yet she can't resist the pull of her sworn enemy—who's gotten in her way by stealing her heart.

— Yo. YO. Everyone in this book was horrible! And it was wonderful! I figured out the twist approximately point two seconds after the potential for a twist was possibly introduced and it did not diminish my enjoyment of this book for one second. I am such a sucker for any Beauty and the Beast AU, but this was way different than anything I’d read before and Nyx was a blood-thirsty terror and I loved her. The magic and the world building was fascinating in that I really did not expect Greek gods and goddess, but it was also a welcome turn in a weird, huh, that’s interesting sort of way. And the banter was a-plus, top tier. Even when they were snarking at each other. Especially when they were snarking at each other. (Still a pretty quick turn from enemies to lovers, but I’m willing to overlook that based almost solely on the snark.) Plus, the castle was fascinating. And there were more twists aside from the main twist, none of which I figured out. All of which I gasped over. The end was like—chef’s kiss, fantastic. I would like a novel-length sequel to tell me how everything worked out.

...BUT THE LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD ONE WASN’T AS GOOD

Crimson Bound by Rosamund Hodge When Rachelle was fifteen she was good—apprenticed to her aunt and in training to protect her village from dark magic. But she was also reckless—straying from the forest path in search of a way to free her world from the threat of eternal darkness. After an illicit meeting goes dreadfully wrong, Rachelle is forced to make a terrible choice that binds her to the very evil she had hoped to defeat.Three years later, Rachelle has given her life to serving the realm, fighting deadly creatures in a vain effort to atone. When the king orders her to guard his son Armand—the man she hates most—Rachelle forces Armand to help her hunt for the legendary sword that might save their world. Together, they navigate the opulent world of the courtly elite, where beauty and power reign and no one can be trusted. And as the two become unexpected allies, they discover far-reaching conspiracies, hidden magic . . . and a love that may be their undoing. Within a palace built on unbelievable wealth and dangerous secrets, can Rachelle discover the truth and stop the fall of endless night?

— As much as I loved Cruel Beauty, I was like ehhhh on this one. Which is part Little Red Riding Hood (although that seems like a stretch, honestly) and part The Girl With No Hands, which is a fairy tale I have literally never heard of before. Rachelle was just—sorta whiny? Which, y’know, she was cursed and had fucked up her entire life, so fair, but also...annoying. I kept reading mostly to try and understand what the FUCK was going on with the magic. I like to consider myself a relatively intelligent person who can understand most YA novels, but this one was tough to keep track of. Like, sure, the imagery of the Dark Forest was cool, but also what is a Gladspring? I’m still not sure I know. Also, this kind of dragged in some places. Lots of patrolling the palace (whining about life) and not enough magic-fighting or establishing any sort of relationship between Rachelle and Armand. Which just sort of happened? Amidst, approximately, twenty-four different twists that were admittedly cool, but also felt like they came out of nowhere. Everything that happened in Cruel Beauty made sense. Most of what happened here felt like it was shoehorned in for shock value.

YOU WANT MORAL AMBIGUITY? BOY HAVE I GOT MORAL AMBIGUITY FOR YOU. IN GODDAMN SPADES.

The Firebird Series by Claudia Gray Marguerite Caine's physicist parents are known for their groundbreaking achievements. Their most astonishing invention, called the Firebird, allows users to jump into multiple universes—and promises to revolutionize science forever. But then Marguerite's father is murdered, and the killer—her parent's handsome, enigmatic assistant Paul— escapes into another dimension before the law can touch him.Marguerite refuses to let the man who destroyed her family go free. So she races after Paul through different universes, always leaping into another version of herself. But she also meets alternate versions of the people she knows—including Paul, whose life entangles with hers in increasingly familiar ways. Before long she begins to question Paul's guilt—as well as her own heart. And soon she discovers the truth behind her father's death is far more sinister than she expected.

— Guys. GUYS. These books, oh my G O D. Little known fact about me, but I am trash for cross-dimensional soulmates. The concept of “we’ll find each other anywhere” is one of my favorites, so I was so psyched about these books. And for awhile that’s what I thought I was going to get out of them. But. BUT! What I actually got was something, not totally different, but not entirely great, either. The problem here was that when anyone used one of the Firebird devices to jump dimensions they TOOK OVER THE BODY THEY JUMPED INTO. So, like, that consciousness got shoved to the side while whatever prime!person just took over. Living that body’s life. In a different dimension. And that’s kinda fucked up, right??? Brings in all sorts of questions about consent and morality and let me tell you, guys, this YA series DID NOT ADDRESS A SINGLE ONE OF THEM. Which is also super fucked up!! So, like, Marguerite is just bouncing around dimensions taking over people’s bodies and lives and leaving this, frankly, trail of destruction in her wake. And as if that wasn’t enough!!! In the second book Paul’s soul gets, like, split and she’s got to round up the pieces through dimensions, meeting all sorts of Pauls who are occasionally kind of shit people and he eventually just, like, CANNOT COPE. Seriously, I could not stop reading these. Partially for the moral ambiguity. Partially because I could not figure out why Paul loved Marguerite. Also, capitalism was the ultimate villain. AS IT SHOULD BE, REALLY.

CREEPY FAE WERE KIND OF CREEPY AND THAT’S NOT BAD, BUT LIKE MAYBE THIS WASN’T A GOOD BOOK?

An Enchantment of Ravens by Margaret Rogerson Isobel is an artistic prodigy with a dangerous set of clients: the sinister fair folk, immortal creatures who cannot bake bread or put a pen to paper without crumbling to dust. They crave human Craft with a terrible thirst, and Isobel’s paintings are highly prized. But when she receives her first royal patron—Rook, the autumn prince—she makes a terrible mistake. She paints mortal sorrow in his eyes—a weakness that could cost him his life. Furious, Rook spirits her away to his kingdom to stand trial for her crime. But something is seriously wrong in his world, and they are attacked from every side. With Isobel and Rook depending on each other for survival, their alliance blossoms into trust, then love—and that love violates the fair folks’ ruthless laws. Now both of their lives are forfeit, unless Isobel can use her skill as an artist to fight the fairy courts. Because secretly, her Craft represents a threat the fair folk have never faced in all the millennia of their unchanging lives: for the first time, her portraits have the power to make them feel.

— I’ve seen this book mentioned a lot. As good. And it wasn’t not good, but Isobel was pretty goddamn annoying and kind of dumb and a little self-important and I was mostly here for the creepy fae. That was fun. More fae should have antlers and stuff. Everything in this story happened ridiculously fast. I couldn’t believe it was over when it was over.

THE PROSE WAS VERY PRETTY. I’M NOT SURE WHY THE DRAGON HAD TO BE SUCH A MONUMENTAL DICK.

Uprooted  by Naomi Novik Agnieszka loves her valley home, her quiet village, the forests and the bright shining river. But the corrupted Wood stands on the border, full of malevolent power, and its shadow lies over her life. Her people rely on the cold, driven wizard known only as the Dragon to keep its powers at bay. But he demands a terrible price for his help: one young woman handed over to serve him for ten years, a fate almost as terrible as falling to the Wood. The next choosing is fast approaching, and Agnieszka is afraid. She knows—everyone knows—that the Dragon will take Kasia: beautiful, graceful, brave Kasia, all the things Agnieszka isn’t, and her dearest friend in the world. And there is no way to save her. But Agnieszka fears the wrong things. For when the Dragon comes, it is not Kasia he will choose.

— Let me just say first off, that this should have been two books. Everything happened so quickly, I swear I got whiplash. That being said, as a heroine, I liked Agnieszka a lot. She was understandably freaked by everything that happened, but once she kind of settled, she didn’t take The Dragon’s shit and that was good because The Dragon was kind of shitty. This is why it should have been two books. Because everything The Dragon did felt like it needed some kind of explanation. Or at least some sort of reasoning for why he was such a monumental bastard. Which is why I was a little confused that Agnieszka was in love with him? He was such a dick, honestly. The last third or so of this book was the best because Novik really does know how to write action and the magic itself was pretty fascinating. (I wish it went into more depth, but I think I’m spoiled by fic and that’s not actually how the publishing world works.) Kasia might have been the most interesting person in this story. Girl went through it and just became a total badass. I loved her.

MARAUDER FEELINGS! MARAUDER FEELINGS! SO! MANY! MARAUDER! FEELINGS!

The Raven King by Maggie Stiefvater All her life, Blue has been warned that she will cause her true love's death. She doesn't believe in true love and never thought this would be a problem, but as her life becomes caught up in the strange and sinister world of the Raven Boys, she's not so sure anymore.

— RICHARD GANSEY, MY BELOVED. What a dweeb. A self-sacrificing, sorta sad dweeb. When he wrapped his jacket around Blue, my heart exploded. I think I spent the last fifteen or so chapters with disconcertingly wide eyes and possibly my hand over my mouth. Still not entirely sure why a Welsh king was in Virginia, but I loved it. Was real glad he was there. As promised by that one book rec list I read months ago, the Marauders vibes of these books were off the charts. It was a weird story with lots of weird things and I hope Mr. Grey gets to be happy one day and that Ronan and Adam make out some more eventually. I think they’ll both feel a lot better if they do. Like, about the world as a whole. Has anyone read the Ronan spinoff series? Should I read the Ronan spinoff series?

OK, THIS WASN’T THAT BAD, ACTUALLY

To Love Jason Thorn by Ella Maise Jason Thorn... My brother's childhood friend. Oh, how stupidly in love with that boy I was. He was the first boy that made me blush, my first official crush. Sounds beautiful so far, right? That excitement that bubbles up inside you, those famous butterflies you feel for the very first time--he was the reason for them all. But, you only get to live in that fairytale world until they crush your hopes and dreams and then stomp on your heart for good measure. And boy did he crush my little heart into pieces. After the stomping part he became the boy I did my best to stay away from--and let me tell you, it was pretty hard to do when he slept in the room right across from mine. When tragedy struck his family and they moved away, I was ready to forget he ever existed. Now he is a movie star, the one who makes women of all ages go into a screaming frenzy, the one who makes everyone swoon with that dimpled smile of his. Do you think that's dreamy? I certainly don't think so. How about me coming face to face with him? Nope still not dreamy. Not when I can't even manage to look him in the eye. Me? I'm Olive, a new writer. Actually, I'm THE writer of the book that inspired the movie he is about to star in on the big screen. As of late, I am also referred to as the oh-so-very-lucky girl who is about to become the wife of Jason Thorn. Maybe you're thinking yet again that this is all so dreamy? Nope, nothing dreamy going on here. Not even close.

— Ignoring the fact that this was almost blatant self-insert, this was a mostly good, occasionally trashy book with brother’s best friend and the one who got away tropes. Which, as we know, are my life’s blood. (Plus, surprise, fake marriage that isn’t really fake?!? Ok. OK!) My only eeek moment was when Olive got super drunk and wanted Jason to like—consummate the marriage and he was like, No Olive, you’re drunk. And then they ended up doing everything except having full-on sex, which felt a little creep and a lot sketch and then it was never mentioned again. Also, Olive needs to find some better friends, God.

EMERSON COD VOICE: HE’S STAAAAAALKING YOU

Marriage For One by Ella Maise Jack and I, we did everything backward. The day he lured me into his office-which was also the first day we met-he proposed. You'd think a guy who looked like him-a bit cold maybe, but still striking and very unattainable-would only ask the love of his life to marry him, right? You'd think he must be madly in love. Nope. It was me he asked. A complete stranger who had never even heard of him. A stranger who had been dumped by her fiancé only weeks before. You'd think I'd laugh in his face, call him insane-and a few other names-then walk away as quickly as possible. Well…I did all those things except the walking away part. It took him only minutes to talk me into a business deal…erm, I mean marriage, and only days for us to officially tie the knot. Happiest day of my life. Magical. Pop the champagne… Not. It was the worst day. Jack Hawthorne was nothing like what I'd imagined for myself. I blamed him for my lapse in judgment. I blamed his eyes, the ocean blue eyes that looked straight into mine unapologetically, and that frown on his face I had no idea I would become so fascinated with in time. It wasn't long after he said I was the biggest mistake of his life that things started to change. No, he still didn't talk much, but anyone can string a few words together. His actions spoke the loudest to me. And day after day my heart started to get a mind of its own.

— Ok, ok, ok, so I enjoyed the Jason Thorn book, right? Was, like, how bad could this other book be? And it wasn’t bad, but it was patently ridiculous. Let me explain what happened. Not entirely sorry for the spoilers. Jack the lawyer sees that Rose is only going to get the space for her coffee shop from her uncle’s will if she marries someone. She WAS engaged, but the guy split. For reasons no one can understand, especially Rose. She’s sad. She’s spent so much money on espresso machines! Enter Jack the lawyer who one random afternoon is like: HEY ROSE, YOU’RE MOSTLY A STRANGER, BUT I ALSO NEED TO GET MARRIED FOR REASONS I’LL ONLY SORTA EXPLAIN, LETS DO THAT. So they do???? And Jack the lawyer continues to be kinda weird and a little shady, but Rose has got the coffee shop and things are going well. Until! She’s got a leaky brain!!! That’s not a joke. Not a typo. Out of goddamn LEFT FIELD, Rose has got some horrible medical condition, so thank God she got married because Jack the lawyer’s got great health insurance. (this is ROMANTIC) and she’s got to have an operation and he stays with her and sleeps in the hospital chair and her coffee shop is somehow still going strong??? On Madison Avenue??? What sit-down coffee shop on Madison Avenue do you guys know that would succeed? None because it’s not downtown. I digress. Anyway, Rose makes a miraculous recovery, she and Jack the lawyer are now almost in love? At least having a shit ton of sex. They’re mostly happily married. Until, part two! The ex-fiance shows up and is like JACK THE LAWYER PAID ME TO BREAK UP WITH YOU. To which Rose is understandably flabbergasted. She confronts Jack the lawyer who fesses that he’s been seriously crushing on her since they met at her uncle’s Christmas party. She doesn’t remember this. He does. BECAUSE HE’S A STALKER. So, he knew about the will stipulation with marriage BACK THEN, which is why he used FIRM RESOURCES to investigate the ex-fiance and found out he was a con man, using Rose with plans to basically steal all her money. This infuriated Jack the lawyer because he thought Rose deserved better and then proceeded to basically con her himself, just in a different way. With marriage! He told her he needed to get married to show he was a family man to make partner. THAT WAS A LIE. He didn’t need it at all. He just—wanted to marry her??? To help her??? What a psycho. She leaves. He continues to lurk outside the coffee shop. They make up. No one mentions the stalking. The end.

I KEEP GIVING HELENA SECOND CHANCES AND SHE KEEPS...NOT DESERVING THEM

All In Series by Helena Hunting Sometimes I need an escape from the demands, the puck bunnies, and the notoriety that come with being an NHL team captain. I just want to be a normal guy for a few weeks. So when I leave Chicago for some peace and quiet, the last thing I expect is for a gorgeous woman to literally fall into my lap on a flight to Alaska. Even better, she has absolutely no idea who I am.Lainey is the perfect escape from my life. My plan for seclusion becomes a monthlong sex fest punctuated with domestic bliss. But it ends just as abruptly as it began. When I’m called away on a family emergency, I realize too late that I have no way to contact Lainey.A year later, a chance encounter throws Lainey and me together again. But I still have a lie hanging over my head, and Lainey’s keeping secrets of her own. With more than lust at stake, the truth may be our game changer.

— Last year I read a hockey romance by Helena Hunting that was very cute and traditionally published and she’s got a bunch more free Amazon books that, for some reason, I keep downloading and reading and they continue to be absolutely ridiculous. That first one was a not-so-secret accidental pregnancy (as previously discussed ONE TIME without a condom mention and bam pregnant) but the second one with Rook’s sister was actually pretty cute. I’m not sure why they all called him Rook. Almost all these series have at least one book with someone recovering from an injury and they inevitably fall in love with their physical therapist. So, that one was pretty ok. None of these, however, were quite as entertaining as (wait for it) QUEENIE AND KINGSTON. WHOSE FRIENDS AND TEAMMATES ALL CALL HIM KING. QUEENIE. AND. KING. Gag. I read it anyway. At least 99% of that decision was based solely on the fact that the story started just after King found out his sister was actually his mom. How am I supposed to stop reading THAT?!? I ask you. Highlights of Queenie and King’s romance included: him calling his mom/sister MOMSTER, Queenie being secretly married this whole time, WITHOUT KNOWING IT, his strawberry allergy that flared up because she’d had a strawberry milkshake and then GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB, her dad finding out they were dating because he was the GM of the team and saw that his starting goalie was having a MASSIVE allergic reaction, Queenie’s eventual ex-husband getting engaged to someone who previously tried to self-inseminate to trap Rook into a relationship (I am not making this up, I swear) and then when he found out that his fiancee’s kid wasn’t actually his, he got into a massive fight and earned a 20-game suspension. THAT’S A QUARTER OF AN NHL SEASON. Tom Wilson got fined five thousand dollars for practically killing Artemi Panarin on the ice! I did not read the last book in this series because it was MORE ACCIDENTAL PREGNANCY and because it was Queenie’s dad and King’s mom and that meant they’d share a sibling. Which is where I draw the line, guys.

THERE WERE SEVEN BOOKS IN THIS SERIES! EVERY SINGLE ONE HAD TO HAVE A SCENE WHERE THE DUDE UNDERSTOOD THAT PERIODS WERE A THING???? LIKE THAT WAS IMPRESSIVE SOMEHOW?!?!

Hot Jocks Series by Kendall Ryan I've never been so stupid in my entire life. My teammate's incredibly sweet and gorgeous younger sister should have been off-limits, but my hockey stick didn't get that memo. After our team won the championship, and plenty of alcohol, our flirting turned physical and I took her to bed. Shame sent her running the next morning from our catastrophic mistake. She thinks I don't remember that night—but every detail is burned into my brain so deeply, I’ll never forget. The feel of her in my arms, the soft whimpers of pleasure I coaxed from her perfect lips…And now I’ve spent three months trying to get her out of my head. Which has been futile, because I’m starting to understand she’s the only girl I’ll ever want. I have one shot to show her I can be exactly what she needs, but Elise won’t be easily convinced. That’s okay, because I’m good under pressure, and this time, I’m playing for keeps.

—I read all of these. All. Of. Them. They were exceptionally quick reads. Every single one had a copious amount of sex in it and a very weird, apparently required scene, where the dude had to be like I’M NOT SQUICKED OUT BY PERIODS AM I NOT THE ULTIMATE EXAMPLE OF MASCULINITY?? My favorite one was Grant and Ana’s, though, because it was so goddamn absurd I cannot believe someone wrote it. Basic gist was that Ana was dating someone on Grant’s team (he’s the captain, natch) but the guy was a dick and abusive and so one night Ana decides to leave, but she needs someone to help her and WHO DOES SHE TURN TO??? That’s right, reclusive captain Grant. Who’s spent the last few years watching his teammates marry-up and start families and he’s so jealous, but he can’t say anything because he’s a stoic MAN™. So he takes Ana and her dog (of course she’s got a dog) back to his super swanky bachelor pad and she just sort of...stays there? Video of the boyfriend accosting her at her job gets leaked and the boyfriend gets sent to the AHL which is not really how it would work, but fine. Naturally, Grant and Ana hook up. It’s emotional. Vaguely romantic. There’s no GODDAMN CONDOM. So, she gets pregnant. But, of course. Except! She doesn’t know if it’s dick boyfriend’s or Grant’s. Because he’s the male lead in a free sports romance on Amazon, Grant is the MOST understanding. He wants to help Ana. He would like to continue having sex with Ana. This is ready-made happily ever after. Only Ana’s like...eh?? She doesn’t want it to look like she bounced from one hockey player to the next, but also she sorta did and she kept telling Grant she just wanted to be friends, only to have sex, like, three chapters later. Then she just moved out! Just moved out. Seven months pregnant. Moving out. With her dog. Of course, this is a free sports romance on Amazon, so eventually she moved back in with Grant. Once she realized independence wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. And because he left practice to be there when she had the baby. Oh! And she got a DNA test after. To see whose kid it was. Grant ripped that ‘ish up. Just ripped it up. Which is cool, I guess. But, like, you didn’t want to double check? What if that kid has to go to the hospital? Did she put Grant’s name on the birth certificate? What are his parental rights?? Anyway, they’re all set to live HEA when....THE DICK BOYFRIEND DIES. Straight up. No explanation. Nothing. Just Grant tells Ana he’s dead, she’s like, oh wow that’s sad, they send some flowers to the funeral and that’s THAT. I assume this was to close any potential plot holes on the father of this baby, but it was hysterical and I cannot stop thinking about it. Strangely enough, the one where the couple made a secret sex tape in college and then got back together because it got released may have been the healthiest relationship in this series.

[pietersetm]

BILL SKARSGARD, 24, CIS-MALE, HE/HIM ⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, SILAS PIETERSE! according to their records, they’re a THIRD year, specializing in “MACGYVER” SURVIVAL SKILLS & NAVIGATION; and they DID NOT go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of (the sound of motorcycles passing, grease stained hands, veins made prominent, a scar under his right eyebrow, lipstick on his collar). when it’s the (libra)’s birthday on 10/22/1995, they always request their REUBEN SANDWICH from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re well on their way to graduation. ⌿ kara, 26, she/her, est 

+ south jersey had its charms. or rather, it didn’t. but it had silas. and silas had charm. learned charm. so as far as south jersey was concerned, it had that going for it. + his upbringing felt more like that of a tv characters’ than a real life person’s. on the tv it’s interesting and fascinating and fun and cool and different. in real life it’s just outlandish and provocative  and unsafe and questionable. + si’s dad picked up ladies around him since the time he was an infant. he’d been around many scenes he probably shouldn’t have been involving the use of, trade of, and sales of sex and drugs. + growing up poor means not having tools like therapy to identify your trauma. + even if he or his family could afford therapy, it wasn’t something that would be prioritized. things like that were frowned upon in silas’ world. men were told to toughen up and tough it out. so he did. + on the bright side, though also unconventional, silas grew up around motorcycles. he’s pretty sure that common thread between he and his dad saved both their lives. they didn’t talk much unless it was about business or roughriders. + the complete opposite of his everyday world is his mother’s everyday world. she married up, moved to a nicer part of jersey, lived in a nice home, one with stairs. yeah, one level homes are nice, but stairs meant another level, it meant the house was bigger and the bigger the house the better your finances look to the outside world and therefore your status went up with it. + she tried to get silas to go stay with her, go to school in her district, but he politely declined, knowing that the roughhouse riders would have something to say about it if he did. + pride came with biker gangs. they were proud to wear their leather jackets with the fancy jackets on the back. it was the one thing they would splurge on. everyone pitched in. + when you’re family, you’re family, which meant that silas was allowed to join the biker gang young. obviously he couldn’t spend all of his time with them being a kid and having school and whatnot, but he would go with his dad every sunday. he looked forward to it every single week. + initiation took a toll on silas’ mental health and stability, made him question his morals and also left him with a black eye to match his jacket. if you look closely, there’s a scar below his right eyebrow from the ring of the fist that hit him. + stella, head of the roughhouse™, took an interest in silas. he was fulfilling all the duties that came with being the newest initiated member of the roughhouse™, sure, but he didn’t remember hearing about anyone else going to stella’s. especially not inside of stella’s. the two talked like he hadn’t with the others, hadn’t with... anyone. he considered her as more than just a leader, but maybe even his best friend, his family. + inside of stella’s is where silas met addison nudge ritter. at first, silas thought she was just “stella’s grand daughter,” but he was wrong. nudge became his best friend. his soft spot. they quickly begin sharing every single one of their days together. he takes her to his mother’s and they make fun of the fancy people in the area while going home to heating in the winter and home cooked meals at a fancy set dining room table. it took a long time for him to open up to nudge about that part of his life and he trusts her to keep it a secret from the rest of the gang. except for with momma stella because whether nudge knew or not, stella was bound to. she was omnipotent that way. + refusing help from his mother, silas fell into the same routine as his father, doing all of the same things that he did, but this time not in front of a little kid. he manipulated others, he satiated his needs by sleeping around but never spending the night, he took every opportunity to make money, illegal or not, and get this: it was always illegal. + the kinds of jobs people need to turn to the roughhouse for are not the kinds you can hire just anyone for. so the roughhouse slummed it with certain jobs and upped the keeps in others. they had a reputation in south jersey and it was as tough as the brooding look silas was taught to wear at a young age. + these jobs ranged from distributing drugs, transporting them, beating people up, leaving them unconscious in certain areas to frame people, and eventually when there were living, breathing people left half dead at silas’ hands, he ended up in blackthorne, which he found to be more of a new age government prison sentence than a university experience. + silas does as he’s told when he’s told to do it and next thing he knows he’s being rewarded kinda by going to gallagher. + the real reward is running into nudge again. they pick up right where they left off. only this time, there’s a boyfriend on her end and a secret on his. did he need the boyfriend’s approval to get in with nudge or did the boyfriend need silas’ approval to stay with her ? he hoped neither were true because while he wasn’t a good judge of character, a good judge of character probably wouldn’t keep silas around, especially not a spy that could look into silas’ past and find out all of the things he’s done, including what landed him in blackthorne. + what happened pre-blackthorne remains in a metaphorical vault, locked up to keep himself safe, others safe and because if he admits it happened, it’ll fuck him up for good. + silas is hanging on by a thread as is. he’s having sex and punching things just to feel things. now he has to pick a major and redefine his biggest life regret as a win, but as good of a liar as he might be to others, he’s not sure he can keep up the charade with himself but what would happen if it all fell apart and he came unraveling at the seams ? + at the very least, silas knows his alibi is rock solid. + he’d always enjoyed movies growing up, but seeing movies was a luxury that his father’s lifestyle didn’t offer them, so movies in theaters were few and far between until his mother married again and into a richer situation. + whenever he couldn’t hang out with nudge, he’d always say he was seeing a movie. to make up for it, he would take her to the movies with him at least once a month or every couple months, proof of his being a movie buff. + even when he was in a job rather than a movie theater, he would pick a movie, buy a ticket and read a synopsis to give nudge later. it felt worthwhile, having something solid to bring to court should he ever need it. plus, his jobs always paid enough to cover that ticket and then some.  + in this fashion, silas began becoming a collector of sorts. a collector of movie knowledge and a collector of tickets. he kept every stub. every single one. because you never know how far down the line things will get brought back up. he needed proof of where he was and when. his tickets provided him that security. + so he took it a step further and kept every ticket. the ones that were not cover ups, too. the ones for concerts. the ones for carnivals. ok, to be fair it was pretty small for a “collection” and some of them were not bought by him, but maybe by females attempting to buy his attention with experience.  + silas always found it a bit ironic that the word “admit” was on some types of tickets as if trying to heed a confession out of him. “admit one.��� he’d consider the deed done, having admitted just one thing, if he were to ever come clean to nudge about what happened, or rather, to anyone.

[billehrman]

Let’s Make a Deal

Why does our government wait until the 24th hour to make a deal to keep our economy afloat until we reach the other side? The Cares Act expires next week. How truly disappointing!

Jobless claims rose last week for the first time since March. There are over 16 million who filed for ongoing benefits last week. Time for Congress to wake up, do the right thing, and pass a stimulus bill to tide us over until the economy fully recovers. Our economy will recover but slowly and many sectors, including small businesses, just won’t make it. It’s time for our government to make a deal.

It appears that the new stimulus bill will most likely come in around $1.5 trillion.  The Republicans’ are proposing a $1 trillion-dollar package which includes unemployment wage replacement at 70%; $105 billion to help school’s open; a targeted additional round of the Paycheck Protection Program; $16 billion for coronavirus testing; tax credits to encourage companies to rehire workers; more flexibility for state and local governments for how they spend federal aid; and another round of direct payments to individuals.

The Democrats plan is closer to $3 trillion and includes $1 trillion for state and local governments. We expect a final plan to come in around $1.5 trillion and will include limited liability protection for companies. While we are not sure if a bill will be ironed out before the end of next week, we are confident that one will be passed shortly thereafter.

While the economy is continuing to expand, the rate of gain has slowed substantially making a follow-on stimulus bill that much more important. It will come but the markets hate uncertainty, so we expect more volatility in the weeks ahead trading on daily news bites. We would use this opportunity to add to some of the high-tech companies now under pressure as investors trim back and lock in some of their gains.  It is ironic that these stocks are under pressure now, just as the recovery is slowing and virus cases are rising. Isn’t this one of the reasons that we owned them in the first place? These companies sell at a premium for a reason: great managements; winning strategies; strong earnings growth which will only accelerate as the economy improves; huge free cash flow and they are undervalued in today’s low interest rate environment. These companies helped us survive the pandemic and will be the winners in the new normal, too. Now is the time to go against the grain and pick up some of these stocks under pressure. On the other end of our barbell approach, we would continue to invest in the moderate growth/income stocks. Earnings reports have been better than expected and many of them announced dividend increases. Industrial commodity and gold stocks look good too.

The Fed meets this week and they will be looking at: a rise in cases in some states; many states slowing their opening; rising unemployment claims; the Cares Act expiring without a new stimulus bill in place; and very low inflation. Clearly the Fed will maintain its current policy but will face questions about what more can they do to support/boost the economy. We expect Powell to say that there are many more tools at their disposal, if needed, to add even more liquidity and support to the financial system and economy. All good.

We are disappointed about the rise in coronavirus cases in key southern and western states. How interesting to see Trump finally wearing a mask supporting its use. He should have done this from the get-go but better late than never. We are confident that the rate of gain in cases is already peaking except in California, but the damage has already been done to the economy, slowing the rate of improvement. News on therapeutics and vaccines continues to be positive such that we still expect several more therapeutics will be available this fall and at least three vaccines will have successfully completed Phase 3 testing such that they will be available for those most in need. The government inked a multi-billion deal with Pfizer to supply over 100 million doses of their vaccine by the fall and nearly 1 billion by the end of 2021.

While the rise in cases in July slowed the economy, we are finally moving to the point where some southern states may slowly permit openings, once again, mandating masks, social distancing, and contact tracing. School opening will play a major role in how our economy continues to improve in the fall. Hopefully it can be done judiciously/safely as outbreaks in schools will be met by quicker shutdowns which would hurt the economy.

We have not altered our view that the economy has bottomed but the recovery will be uneven. It will take until the end of 2022 for the economy to fully recover to pre-pandemic levels but that is not bad for the financial markets as it means that the Fed and government will remain all in providing all the liquidity and stimulus to take us forward. Even if Biden wins in the Fall and the Dems take the Senate, we doubt that they would enact legislation to raise taxes in 2021 or even 2022. In fact, we would expect them to pass pro-growth bills like an infrastructure program. If Trump happens to win, which looks less likely by the week, we would expect continued pro-growth policies too. The bottom line is that the Fed and government will have our backs next year and probably in 2022 too which is favorable for owning risk assets.

Investment Conclusion

The financial markets are waiting for our government pass a follow up stimulus bill replacing the Cares Act over the next few weeks. We remain favorably inclined to owning risk assets as both the Fed and government are both all in providing all the liquidity needed to carry us to the future. The key thing to remember is that we are talking about them staying all in for another 2+ years which has tremendous implications for investing. Extraordinarily low rates plus a sound financial system translates into historically high valuations especially for growth stocks.

Another reason for our optimism is our confidence that there will be therapeutics and vaccines to combat the coronavirus. We consider what happens when/if one or more companies announce successful Phase 3 testing in a few months? What effect does it have on consumer and business confidence.? What happens to the economy once vaccines are available to all? We factor all of this into our investment outlook as a long-term investor.

Finally, companies are starting to take actions, reducing costs, that will improve profitability in quarters/years ahead. On the other hand, it will mean that unemployment may stay higher longer than many of the economists think, but that is not all too bad as it may translate into higher productivity and lower unit labor costs which would translate into lower inflation down the road. Corporations are generating surprisingly strong free cash flow, too, which is indicative of bottoms in cycles. So far, 73% of companies reporting have beat estimates Not too bad!

This truly is an astute stock picker’s market. We are doing the research finding new investment opportunities both in technology and in moderate growth companies. Technology is at the top of the list for so many reasons. We also look for other companies who have navigated through these times successfully and will come out stronger on the other side.

Think as an investor rather than making moves on every ebb and flow. Focus on creating long term wealth.

Our weekly webinar will be held on Monday July 27th at 8:30 am EST. You can join the webinar by entering https://zoom.us/j/9179217852 in your browser or dialing +1 646 558 8656 and entering the password 917 921 7852.

Remember to review the facts; pause, reflect, and consider global mindset shifts; look at your asset allocation with risk controls; turn off your cable news; do independent research and …

Invest Accordingly!

Bill Ehrman

Paix et Prospérité LLC

917-951-4139

[batgirl-87]

about the ship game: 6, 10 and 15

Thank you for asking! - MC Ship Ask

6. What rumours do you think would float around Hogwarts about their relationship, if any? How would your MC react to them upon learning about them?

Well obviously there’s the whole MC and two Weasleys going into the Forbidden Forest and Prefect Bathroom together all the time =p Which Charlie clearly seems to be a bit concerned about but Keira and Bill find hilarious or don’t seem to really care at all =p

There were some ‘are they together or aren’t they’ going around before they officially become a couple and even afterwards at the beginning of their relationship since they didn’t make some huge announcement about it obviously. I’m sure her sneaking into the Gryffindor Dorm, even before they were officially a couple, had rumours going as well, especially when they were found sleeping in the Common Room (doubt Bill helped much with that too =p) - again, that kind of leads into ‘are they or aren’t they.’ 

There may be another incident after they do officially become a couple and it seems to be common knowledge now among the school (after Charlie sort of declares it at a party - fic to come) where Keira in her excitement over her team qualifying and clinching a spot in the World Cup Finals expresses her excitement in…quite an affectionate way with all her friends, surprisingly, and is a shock to Charlie and everyone else and gets the rumour mill spreading again ‘are they or aren’t they’ ‘what the hell is going on with Keira?!’ =p (fic to come and I’m honestly very excited for this one, I find it hilarious =p) There may also be talk about a Gryffindor and Slytherin dating, how that works, jokes about rival houses/romeo and juliet, maybe she’s just dating him to manipulate him to win at Quidditch =p etc. Those can be a bit funny to both of them actually. 

I’m sure there’s also rumours/talk about Charlie dating someone since he’s never shown an interest in dating and romance before but they have always had some sort of close connection/bond. Guess she somehow managed to interest him more than dragons =p Later there may be talk of them snogging in the Quidditch Changing Rooms, the History of Magic section in the library (which I believe is a common place for couples to go snog because no one really goes in that section =p) and under the Quidditch bleachers - possibly true =p 

Keira honestly would rather people talk about her being cursed and causing the issues at Hogwarts than about her romantic life, especially because, I think for both of them (I hc they’re both demi), it is out of their norm and for Keira she doesn’t like showing any sort of vulnerability, especially having romantic feelings! So embarrassing =p Talk about her curse-breaking adventures or even her being the cause of the curses, she can deal with that by now. And if they want to talk about her and Charlie and Bill in the Prefect Bath, well she can find that funny - any of the rumours are funny before they become a couple because they’re not together then and she doesn’t believe they will be so fuelling the rumour mill and messing with them is fun for her until it becomes real and her and Charlie (much to her surprise) become an official couple - and then she wants everyone to mind their business! She has a reputation to uphold and this is ruining it =p She's a tough, cool, badass on a mission not some love struck, heart eyes, 'my boyfriend' little girl!

Charlie, on the other hand, I feel is the opposite. Before they’re officially a couple he hates the rumours about them, messes with his mind a bit, especially when he’s still trying to sort out his feelings or even after he realizes them trying to figure out what to do now and he feels the rumours are not helping his situation! And Keira playing along with the rumours and laughing about them, etc,, just makes him more confused! But when they do officially become a couple he doesn’t mind people talking about them because, it’s true, they are together, and happy. If there’s any rumours about them fighting/breaking up he probably wouldn’t like those and would try to shut those down quickly (except when they had a bit of a falling out but that was before they were a couple but the friendship did end for awhile which killed him and did get rumours going about a ‘breakup’ even though it was a ‘friendship breakup’).

But other rumours of them together he’s surprisingly okay with, probably because he knows now where he stands with Keira and understands his and her feelings so people can say whatever. He knows what’s going on with them. And if it’s positive, even better =p Yeah, we are happy and were snogging in the library - jealous? =p Yeah, she’s wearing my jumper, she’s my girlfriend, and she was cold/she’s supporting me at my Quidditch game (when it’s not against Slytherin obviously). Yeah, we were holding hands as we walked through Hogsmeade, she’s my girlfriend and I’m happy and proud to be with her - don’t know why this is the talk of the school but if people want to talk about what a great couple we are, cool =p

10. How good are they at compromising?

Charlie is great at it =p He grew up with a large family, obviously, tons of siblings, have to be able to compromise and be used to not getting exactly or everything you wanted. 

Keira…. can be stubborn. And she just wants to do what she wants when she wants - she has some authority issues/issues with being told what to do, not that Charlie would ever tell her what to do because she’d kill him with her death glare =p She also is leader of this Cursed-Vaults mission, clearly, because it is her mission, her brother, and if her friends want to help, that is their decision but they have to follow her lead - although she never planned on leading a team to do this (planned on doing it on her own, she doesn’t really want to be a leader, actually). Actually, therefore, it is nice when someone else makes some decisions or takes care of things so she doesn’t have to all the time. 

But she’s pretty good at compromising with Charlie, or she’s learning =p Maybe because he presents his position in a calm way and actually listens to her side instead of arguing with her about it - ‘this is what we’re going to do’ ‘no, we should do this.’ Since he comes to her to have an open discussion over it instead of aggressively or trying to take over she’s more willing to listen and make a compromise. Or because he presents a fair compromise instead of demanding they do what he wants because, as stated before, he’s used to having to compromise and since he’s fair about it, since being fair and just is important to her, she’s willing to agree to it. 

But he also has learned she will make passionate speeches/arguments about some things and those are difficult for him to debate against =p and he has to figure out a way to carefully navigate those situations. And in some situations she’s just going to do what she wants, sorry =p But she cares about him and if something is important to him then fine, if that’s really what he wants. 

(It’s not like she’d ever ask him to do anything that would be harmful to him in some way or go against his morals or something that was completely selfish, like don’t go to Romania and study dragons, something you love and have always wanted to do and have worked and sacrificed so much for. Plus she’s pretty sure she’d lose that argument =p But she would never ask him to do that anyway! But she’s also not going to just be like a housewife or something with him in Romania while he works with dragons. Not that she doesn’t think dragons are cool but that’s his passion and career not hers and she’s not going to just stay at home cooking and cleaning, she can’t do it, it’s not her and she wouldn’t be happy. So no compromising on real happiness but neither would ask or expect the other to do that nor would they want that for them).

15. What position do they sleep in when they share a bed?

Either Charlie is the big spoon or Keira’s curled up next to him, resting on his chest, leg probably draped over his, arm around him - she’s not much for snuggling honestly, but she does run cold, especially at night/when sleeping and he’s a natural heater so she can’t resist curling up close to him especially on cold winter nights. But typically it’s Charlie wrapping his arm around her and keeping her close. She also has a tendency to fall asleep on him a lot and use him as her personal pillow =p (she doesn’t get a lot of sleep even after Hogwarts so sometimes falling asleep on the couch or while travelling happens, and she feels comfortable and safe enough to do that around him). 

[bewarethelivingwra]

Taking On (Juel)

Juel Browning was stretched out on the bed she shared with her fiance, Gru'sta, rubbing at her eyes out of habit. She glanced out of the door to the balcony on their second floor, taking note of the sky. It was later than usual for him to return home from the shop, but with how odd things had been in the city that evening, she wasn't surprised. Either he felt he had taken too much time from his work, or he was recovering from finally being able to crack up laughing at everything that had gone on in the valley.

The latter idea gave her a smile that quickly vanished when she heard the front door open below, and a rather tentative, “We have a situation here,” in his resonating voice. There wasn't panic or urgency in it, but she still threw a scrap of parchment in the tome she had been studying, placing it quickly on the table beside her side of the bed. She flew down the stairs to see a sight that she never expected. With all that had happened before, and how calm things had been recently, she expected injury. Instead, he was smiling at her softly, a rather large bundle wrapped in his traveling cloak in his arms.

Juel looked at him in confusion until the bundle tried to speak. He shook his head.

“Water, first. I can explain,” he said, placing what Juel now saw as Dhara, the orphan they had housed back in the spring, onto her feet in their sitting room. She peered up at Juel, her expression one of pure exhaustion, but her topaz eyes radiated happiness.

“What are you doing here?” Juel asked, even though Gru'sta had said he would explain. She knelt before the girl, which made her just a bit taller than Juel herself, wrapping the cloak around Dhara more tightly. She looked cold, though Juel often seemed to think anyone living felt something she'd never feel no matter how they may be feeling – cold, hunger, sleepiness.

“I was flying home tonight after checking on the shop,” Gru'sta explained as he went for water from one of the skins they kept for storage. He brought it over to Dhara, who took it and drank greedily, as if she hadn't had anything in a week. “I spotted something unusual by the shore, not very far from Ratchet. I managed to get the mount to turn off it's usual route and, imagine my shock. There she was, sleeping by the riverbank.”

Juel knit her brows, looking up at him as the child downed the full waterskin within moments. “By a riverbank? How?”

“Walked,” Dhara said, shrugging as she handed the empty vessel to Gru'sta, who shook his head in surprise at how quickly she had drank it.

“Walked? From Orgrimmar?” Juel asked, the incredulity obvious in her voice. Dhara nodded. Juel shook her head, smoothing down the child's ruffled, ruddy hair, looking up at Gru'sta, who shrugged before joining her, kneeling down, someone finally taller than this child when not standing upright.

“Why did you walk from Orgrimmar? How did you manage to slip away from the orphanage?” he asked with concern, dropping one hand on the child's small shoulder. She shrugged again.

“There's a lot of us,” she said plainly. “And head counts can be flubbed.” She smiled, her expression shifting to one of excitement. “Can I stay? At least for the night? You're not going to run me right back, are you?”

Juel looked up at Gru'sta, her dark red brows raised. He would likely be the one who had to run her back, and she knew he was tired. Plus, the child had been through a great deal just to get here. She deserved at least one night's rest and a good breakfast before facing whatever punishment would be meted out.

It was as if he read her mind. He chuckled, his green eyes meeting hers before turning back to Dhara. “One night, then we have to bring you back and have a bit of a...talk with the matron there.”

Dhara's bright eyes widened for a second at the thought of this last, perhaps seeing whatever discipline was in her future. Her expression quickly shifted, however, when it clicked that she had been told she could stay for the night. She nodded in thanks.

“We took the bed out from down here,” Juel stated, “but I'm sure we have a bedroll somewhere...” Gru'sta shook his head.

“You two take the big bed,” he said. Juel looked at him in confusion.

“But I don't need rest like you both do,” she said. He headed upstairs, a light chuckle trailing behind him.

“We have a rather nice chair up here,” he said. “Besides, this isn't the first time children interrupted my sleep. Perhaps it won't be the last.” Juel's brow rose again, even though he couldn't see it from having ascended the stairs. She turned to Dhara.

“Looks like it's a sleepover,” she jested. “Let's get you changed.”

She got the girl into a clean shirt for sleeping, taking a little extra time to sit on the bed cross-legged with Dhara sitting on the edge as Juel brushed her hair as gently as possible. It fell to the girl's waist, and was in rough shape from days of travel and no attention. “Perhaps you should get a bath before returning as well,” she said absently, taking note that Gru'sta, half-dozing in the chair, was watching this particular exchange with an interesting little smile on his face, his green eyes soft. She returned his smile before finishing off the braid in Dhara's hair and patting her on the head to get her to rise. Juel pulled back the covers and Dhara dove underneath with enthusiasm, a loud, dramatic sigh following as she nestled into the pillows. Both Juel and Gru'sta couldn't help but laugh.

Even with her overacting, Dhara was asleep within moments, likely before Juel had crawled under the covers herself, propping herself up on one elbow, looking down at her. Juel almost jumped when she heard from across the room, “you take to this like a fish to water.” She offered Gru'sta a small smile.

“If you had said that around my parents, they'd have laughed in your face,” she replied quietly. He chuckled, resting his arms on the arms of the chair, tilting his head back to close his eyes and attempt sleep. Juel felt a pang of guilt, knowing it would be a rough night of sleep for him after a long day. Turning to see Dhara's contented little face slacken in rest, the best rest she'd likely had in days, wiped away a lot of Juel's concerns. Gru'sta knew what he was doing with this particular arrangement. Juel smiled, brushing loose strands of hair from the girl's forehead before peering out the doorway again, the gauzy curtains blowing in just slightly with the sea breeze she wished she could smell strongly.

* * *

The next morning, the three of them washed up in turn before heading to Ratchet and the inn for breakfast. The proprietor looked surprised to see three of them arriving together, his brows raising as confusion washed over his craggy features. Juel offered him a winning smile, putting a hand on Dhara's shoulder.

“Just a surprise guest is all,” she said, patting Dhara's hair, not finding it necessary to mention just how said guest had arrived. Dhara smiled up at her. The innkeeper gestured toward a table for the three of them, where both Dhara and Gru'sta ordered. Juel laughed at the fact they ordered about the same volume of food, even with the difference in size. She was more surprised, however, that the girl polished everything off on her plate.

“I know they feed you,” Gru'sta said, incredulity in those green eyes, matching the surprise in Juel's expression. Dhara nodded.

“Not as good, and not enough,” Dhara stated plainly. She stared at the glass of freshly squeezed juice that she hadn't yet touched. Juel looked at her in confusion before rising to go pay the bill. From behind her, she could hear Dhara say, “It's warm.” Juel turned to look and, before she could even register it had happened, the glass frosted over. Her own likely expression of shock was mirrored in Gru'sta's raised brows, surprise washing over his face. She didn't hear what he said to Dhara, as the innkeeper had cleared his throat to get her attention and she handled the bill.

“I'll take her on a wyvern with me,” Gru'sta said as they left the inn, neither making mention of what they had just seen the girl do. “You follow behind. We'll go to see the matron together.”

“And what exactly will we say?” Juel asked, looking at him with genuine puzzlement. He smiled, putting his hand to her cheek.

“We tell the truth. Dhara defected.” He chuckled. “And that we may be giving them a sign, when the time is right.”

Juel closed her eyes, relishing for the moment the warmth of his palm against her cheek, one of the few things she could feel with her dulled senses. “When the time is right,” she whispered. They mounted their wyvern, Dhara waving back at Juel before they took off and she got on her own. Juel loosely held the reins for the short trip, her nose back in the book from the previous evening to pass the time, as she knew this scenery well.

They landed and she tucked her book under one arm as Dhara groped for Juel's hand, suddenly nervous now that she'd have to explain herself once they arrived at the orphanage. Juel smiled at just how slowly Gru'sta was navigating the familiar lifts and pathways, as if he needed to recall how to get there. As if he didn't volunteer a good bit of his time helping out.

“So what will we say?” she asked. He cut his gaze toward her, smiling rather cheekily.

“We'll know what to say when the time comes,” he said. Juel tilted her head.

“From poet to philosopher,” she jested. He laughed loudly at this.

“I have been full of surprises of late.”

The orphan matron looked infuriated when she first spotted Dhara walking up the path in the Drag. Several children were outside, some messing with the tiny pond that had a rather incongruous and useless dock upon it. The matron ushered the roaming children inside, several of whom waved on their way in, not only at Dhara, but at Gru'sta as well. Juel glanced up and felt the tiniest little ache building in her chest at the wistful expression on his face as he waved.

“You have much to answer for,” the matron told Dhara sternly. She turned then to Gru'sta. “Where did you find her?”

“Hiking toward our home, actually,” he said, trying to lighten the mood a little, but the matron's demeanor didn't budge. Dhara looked up at her fearfully.

“Could we talk this over a bit, perhaps?” Juel asked and then flinched. It was against her better judgment to speak up, but the words were out before she could stop them. The matron turned toward her.

“I know you two showed her a wonderful time a few months ago, and we are grateful here, but we cannot have these children in our care running off whenever the mood strikes them,” she said, looking down at Dhara, who glanced away, remorse etched on her small features.

“But we may have a proposition for you,” Gru'sta interjected. “If we can just speak to you privately.” He nodded toward the dock. The matron lifted a brow, the rest of her face unreadable, but she gestured for them to lead. The matron peeked in the doorway to let her assistant know where she would be, and followed, Dhara the last in the line.

Juel carefully settled herself on the wood of the dock, arranging her skirts neatly and setting her book upon her lap. Dhara sat beside her, twisting her hands in her own lap nervously. Only Gru'sta looked completely calm of the four of them. The matron just looked displeased.

“Go on,” she said, kneeling on the boards, crossing her arms over her chest as if nothing he said would reach her, but she was giving him this brief moment of indulgence. Juel peered up at Gru'sta, noting the determination on his face.

“As you know, Matron Battlewail, I have assisted here with the orphans for a long while now, unless I was out to sea.”

“Of course,” she said, nodding. Heartened, he continued.

“For the last few months, I've stayed nearby more than I have ventured out, started putting down roots, so to speak,” he said, the barest of smiles curving around his tusks, one Juel couldn't help but smile at herself. She reached over instinctively, resting her hand on his. The matron raised a brow, but didn't comment, though her gaze dropped to where Juel's hand lay.

“I have noticed that, yes. Ratchet, mostly. And you have spoken of a business as well.” He nodded in agreement.

“Started so that I may stay closer to home, establish ourselves a bit more,” he added, this time glancing over at Juel. Her eyes met his and she squeezed his fingers. “There is to be a wedding soon, though we've been lax in planning it. The next logical step, considering our...differences, is adoption.”

Now both brows lifted. Juel turned toward the matron, her left hand clutching the book on her lap a bit tighter, which drew Matron Battlewail's gaze to the ring on her slim hand.

“I...see,” she said. “We do not just hand children out here because one asks, you know,” she added, her focus back on Gru'sta. “There are procedures.”

“It seems you have more children than potential candidates for families, do you not?” Juel piped up. The matron shot her a withering look.

“That doesn't mean we get careless in our standards,” she shot, and Juel sat back upright, almost as if she had been scolded by a tutor back in Stormwind. Catching the change in her demeanor, Dhara leaned into Juel's shoulder, taking her hand from where it rested on the book. Juel looked down at her and smiled.

“Nothing you need to worry over,” Juel whispered, and Dhara nodded softly.

“And we are working towards making ourselves good candidates,” Gru'sta said, nodding, his face all business. The matron almost scoffed at that.

“A wedding, you said. Isn't that more a...human tradition?” It was his turn to wince.

“I'm hoping to set the ceremony on the next full moons,” Juel stated, her right hand moving from Gru'sta's to rest on the book on her lap. The matron peered down, blinking as she read the spine – one of several books Juel had found that noted various clan cultures. “I'm trying to make sure that not only one of our traditions are honored here.” He looked at her in surprise then, and she smiled up at him, trying to convey they'd discuss it more further later on, when things weren't so precarious.

“That is a...Frostwolf practice, is it not?” He winced again, but before he could interject, Juel nodded.

“I believe so, but I'm going to make doubly sure. I have a few friends who have been educating me over these last few months, from various clans. They have been a tremendous help. And don't all children need a tribe surrounding them to grow and learn successfully?” The matron looked as if she had no retort to that particular argument, and Juel could easily see, out of the corner of her eye, a new look of appreciation from Gru'sta.

“Interesting,” the matron said. She turned toward Dhara, huddled up close to Juel in nervousness but saying nothing. Her eyes from from the youth to the hand that held onto Juel's, which lacked gloves. The matron's expression shifted briefly, obviously taking note that the girl held no hesitation in showing affection, despite of Juel's state. Finally, she regarded the both of them again. The silence stretched uncomfortably long. Juel caught Matron Battlewail's gaze once more.

“I understand our situation is...unusual,” Juel said. “Not just my status and the honoring of traditions of those considered enemies. However, I cannot deny what I once was when I rarely feel the burden of the change in my physical form. Inside, I feel very little difference between what I was when I breathed and now.” She turned to Gru'sta, her eyes threatening to brim, a rare occurrence for her. He noticed, though, his own bright green eyes widening. “There is one large difference I cannot escape – the fact that I cannot give this person that I love, this very deserving person, the children he desires again.”

He exhaled an incredulous puff of a breath at that, and reached to put his hand to her cheek, his thumb gently rubbing below one eye where tears had welled.

Matron Battlewail took all of this in wordlessly, the silence continuing for several more moments before she sighed herself.

“After this full moon, when you have been established, we shall speak of this again,” she relented. “However, no more escape attempts,” she added, turning toward Dhara who went from looking like she would leap up and dance on the dock, to all business, knowing she had a bargain to uphold. Dhara nodded emphatically. “Though I will allow you to bring her into your shop in Orgrimmar on occasion, when you are here,” she added, turning toward Gru'sta. He offered her his own nod. Juel knew he was resisting smiling broadly at such a victory, knowing just enough of how serious this female was.

“Thank you for allowing us to prove ourselves,” he said. Dhara reached her arm around Juel's to squeeze gently, and Juel leaned over to plant a kiss on top of her head.

“The world seems to be changing,” the matron said, still looking with concern over at Juel, “we can only hope it is for the better.”

[inthesummerswelter]

recipe for disaster: epilogue

The flickering lights of the television dance across the dim flat, illuminating that patch of wall, this edge of carpet in a haphazard, frolicking manner. The wall is the same shade of worn paint as it was three years and five months ago, the carpet only a bit more ragged, fringe torn off by the late onset of canine teething.

The light skitters on over until it crosses the occupants of the sofa, playing over where an arm loops around a waist here, another around a shoulder there.

They're a tangle of limbs and lungs and fingers under mounds and mounds of fabric.

Head resting on the space where shoulder broadens into chest, Penn huddles closer into the warm body beside her as her eyelids began to droop.

"Duck or lamb?" she mutters, mind still on the same track it had been five hours ago when she began her journey through revamping the menu at work.

Ashton traces a pattern in the fine hairs at the nape of her neck, letting his hand splay across the back of her skull and cradle her head, before he responds. "If I don't have to look at it alive before I eat it, lamb. Never been much of a duck person. Roasted or alive."

"Okay," she mumbles back. The sitcom on the television is a rerun, one they've seen at least ten times before, but she knows that he still finds the jokes funny from the way his chest shakes with contained laughter.

Eight minutes later, she's debating the merits of cutting down the appetizers in favor of increasing the dessert offerings while the bloke on the telly is flailing about with what seems to be a large cod in a public park.

"Y'know, I love sleeping over and all, but I think it’s time we make some, er, alternate arrangements." His voice startles her, half hearing it, half feeling it thunder along through his body.

"Hm?" That’s concerning. Penn looks up at Ashton, the light from the television flitting about enough to catch the hazel in his eyes. He's still looking at the screen, mouth still in the remnants of a smile from the punchline.

"Move in with me."

Oh.

Definitely less concerning.

Tipping her head back down, she gives it a thought and snuggles back in towards him.

"Okay. But how about you move in with me instead?"

She can't keep the terrace greenhouse if she moves out of her flat. Plus Ashton's over at hers more than he is at his anyway. And she likes the way all the windows in the kitchen are perfectly placed to frame the sun when it breaks above the skyline.

A rumbling chuckle reverberates, shaking the quilt draped over her shoulders.

"Okay," he says. And then, "I love you," because the novelty of dropping the in with part two months ago still hasn't worn off yet.

"I love you, too."

(In fact, the novelty will probably never wear off.)

  "Y'know, you've got a lot more stuff than I had thought. I'm not so sure that it's all going to fit."

Penn winces as the edge of a stack of textbooks bites her shin where she's squeezing through the doorway with boxes balanced in her arms.

Ashton sighs dramatically, pausing in stretching out clear packing tape to close up loose seams in the boxes designated to go into storage. The tape has determined, however, that its forever-home is not the cardboard, but instead all over Ashton's hands.

"That's it, we're just going to have to downsize. Cardy, Clove, it's time for you to leave the nest. Go on. Be free."

Two sets of reproachful eyes look up at him, affronted by his socked foot nudging at their bellies.

Penn rolls her own eyes at him and pushes open the slider door to trot back over to her flat. Looking back over her shoulder before her feet hit the concrete of the terrace, her face scrunches up in concern.

"Are you going to be okay for a few minutes while I push some boxes around to make room?"

He laughs, flapping fingers covered in tape at her as Luke pops his head out of the bedroom, reassuring her that he's at least got things under control.

"I'll send him over in a bit with more, Penn."

She waves at him briefly in acknowledgement before heading back over, Clove scampering at her heels.

All in all, for all the fussing and complaining going on about who moves where and what part of which lease applies to which person and something about accidental subletting that she thinks they've finally worked out, Penn's happy with the new arrangement.

Ashton is moving in with her, bringing the total amount of occupants in her one bed, one bath flat to a grand total of four, including the dogs. And, Luke is going to move into Ashton's, a more comfortable one person to one room ratio, she has to admit.

After a few years of saving up money by living with his older brothers and spurred by the necessity of a new place due to said older brothers graduating, the newly-vacated flat perfectly fits Luke's bill.

Which is great, because Penn was a little nervy and not quite comfortable with the possibility of sharing the terrace with someone she didn't know, although Ashton assures her that their new neighbor will still probably be at the library more than at home anyway.

In any case, things worked out for the best in the planning and legalities.

In coordinating the actual moving, however, not so much.

She was able to take the day off to help out, and Ash and Luke didn't have classes. However, Louis and Niall found themselves conveniently tied up at the restaurant, Zayn was predictably out of the country, and Calum on an extended family vacation.

Which minimized their small group of potential coerced laborers to Michael, who said he'd stop by if he wasn't busy.

Which hasn’t happened yet.

But, Penn is pleasantly surprised by a knock at the door while she’s shifting around a potted plant in the corner of the living room to make way for Ashton’s growing footwear collection - one pair of nice leather boots and now he’s a shoe connoisseur - and opens it to a shock of lavender hair and long, tanned limbs.

“Hiiiiiiiiiii,” Michael drawls out with a grin, flapping a hand in greeting as he steps through the doorway. “Wasn’t sure where you’d all be, but figured that you might be here. Or someone might be here. Or Ash. Ash is always here.”

The girl behind him - a girl that she's never seen before in her life - snickers openly. “He’s really just saying that. We came here first because it was closer to the stairs. And we brought bagels!”

She proudly displays the baked goods as Penn helps them navigate the sea of Ashton's things until they can reach the kitchen.

Setting the bagels on the scant free counter space, Michael mumbles, "It's like five fucking flights, okay? Would it kill you to petition for an elevator or something? Oh, and Tal wanted to bring a housewarming gift. On my employee discount, of course."

Tal's rebuttal is cut off by the arrival of a set of plastic storage tubs and Ashton, while Penn leans against the cabinets and tries to remember why that name sounds so familiar.

"Mikey! You made it!" Ash spreads his arms wide after setting down the tubs nearly on top of Penn's feet.

Sidestepping a sweaty hug, he replies, "Not for long! Can't stay to help, actually. Sorry about that, Tal -"

"I'll take that hug," she announces, stepping forward into Ashton's still outstretched arms. "Glad to see things all worked out after all."

Ah. Tal.

Tal of the silhouettes.

Mikey's girlfriend, Tal.

Penn takes a closer look, suddenly ridiculously interested in Michael’s choice of women.

Thin and tall turns into a sharply angled, deeply tanned face. That comes along with an easy, laughing smile, a brilliant white standing out from darker-complected skin. Deep brown eyes are divided by a strong nose and framed by dramatically-arching eyebrows settled on a high forehead.

In other words, a face that wouldn't seem out of place on the cover of one of the friendlier-looking fashion magazines, with a body to match.

She shoots Ashton a meaningful glance - one that says introduce me, goddamnit - as she unpacks the bagels from their cardboard carrier.

But Tal beats him to the punch, calling out, “And you must be Penn! It’s so nice to finally meet you in person, I’ve heard quite a bit about you!”

Penn's hit with that gleaming grin and is momentarily stunned by the light bouncing from it, blinking rapidly as she tries to recover.

Tal fills in the awkward silence without skipping a beat.

"Wow, Mike, didn't even mention that you had a girlfriend, did you?" she says as she elbows him in the side.

Penn regains her words as Michael chokes on a bite of bagel that he's stolen over Ashton's protests that those really weren't his anymore.

"No, no, Ashton told me about you. It's very nice to meet you as well." She smiles, rounding the bend in the counter.

They have time for one enthusiastic handshake before Tal catches sight of the clock in the living room - "So cute! Oh, shit!" - and realises that they should have been at the tube station approximately nine minutes ago.

Leaving as they came, Michael's flash of lavender is the last Penn sees before Tal pulls him into the hallway.

Luke steps in just as the main door closes with a stack of milk crates in his arms, saying, "I found these in the back of your closet - are those bagels? I'm starved."

“Yeah,” Ashton replies nonchalantly, taking one dusted with chocolate chips from the plate Penn’s laid a few out on. “Mike just brought them over. Just missed him and Tal.”

Penn jumps nearly out of her skin as Luke slams his hand on the counter.

“Damnit! Every time, I swear to God.”

And then he goes to the fridge and pulls out a water bottle to chug moodily.

Pushing her shoulder into Ash, where he’s polishing off the bottom half of the bagel with ease, she gives him another meaningful glance that translates this time into a whole set of concerned question marks.

He takes the time to lick off the residual chocolate from his index finger before he responds. “It’s this thing between Luke and Michael. Like, Luke said something about not believing Mike would ever get a girl, and so now he takes Tal to meet everyone except for Luke. Luke doesn’t even know what she looks like.”

The plastic of the bottle is dangerously close to implosion in Luke’s fist, so Penn looks at him with great caution, still not sure that this whole thing doesn't qualify as one hugely ridiculous overreaction.

“Smiley. Very smiley.” Penn hopes this'll be enough to save the water bottle.

It crushes under the pressure anyway, but Luke's shoulders slump. "S'okay, really. He'll break, eventually."

Instead of continuing to try and console a mopey man-child twice her size, Penn turns to the plastic tubs Ashton had brought over, grabbing a blueberry bagel at the same time. Looping it on her finger, she nibbles at the edges as she picks out a battered biscuit tin. The paint is red and chipped, the image of gingersnaps on the top mostly worn away, rust collecting at the rim of the lid. It rattles as she shakes it, sounding as if there were a whole hoard of coins or buttons shifting around inside.

And as far as she knows, Ashton's never fixed a button in his life

"What is this?" she asks, gesturing with it towards him. He doesn't see her though, so she takes it upon herself to prise it open. Surprisingly enough, the top pops off without too much effort.

Bottle caps.

Bunches of brightly coloured, strangely marked bottle caps.

Penn sticks her hand in and scoops up a bunch, marvelling at the sheer number of caps as she lets them slip through her fingers and fall back down into the tin.

"Oh, those?" Ashton seems to have finally noticed, turning away from Luke and towards where she's begun to spread a few on the surface of the counter. "Those are all my gramps'. Well, really he’s my great-uncle, but we always just called him Gramps."

Penn's heard of strange collections, and she understands sentimentality quite a bit - she still pays rent on Gran's brownstone and drops by every couple of days to tend the garden - but still, bottle caps?

He goes on to explain, noticing the look on her face. "Gramp always said that anything worth celebrating everything should be done with a cold beer. Obviously he thought that there were a lot of things deserving of beer, and he kept the cap from every one of them. There's even one from the day I was born in there, but I think it's actually from a hard cider instead."

Ashton thumbs the top of a sunny yellow cap with a logo written in illegible, blocky red lettering before setting it back in the pile and digging his fingers down to the bottom of the tin.

"But the main point was to celebrate all the things in life worth being happy about. I keep these to remind me that life has a lot of those moments, some big and a lot small, and sometimes we just forget to recognise them as remarkable, memorable."

She just takes a hold of his hand and doesn’t say a thing.

  (She ends up picking up a few small shadow boxes from an antique shop on High Street the next day and divides up the caps between them.

They hang on the small stretch of wall just above the kitchen table and glint in the first light of the morning sun.)

  Two weeks after the move and she’s still not used to the way he arranges the condiments in the refrigerator.

Reaching for the hot sauce - normally on the top left, underneath the light and right next to the butter - she brings it all the way over to the plate before realising that it’s not hot sauce.

It’s mustard.

She doesn't even like mustard.

Scrubbing at her eyes with curled up fist, still in the throes of 5 a.m. drowsiness, she tosses the bottle behind her where it lands with a clatter in the sink. Ashton can pick it up later when he does the dishes.

Penn bends down towards the fridge again, closing her eyes to guard against the bright white light of the interior, finally plucking the hot sauce from the bottommost right-hand shelf.

Tucking it underneath her arm, she gathers up the plate and forks in on hand, juggles two mugs in the other, and shuffles her way back down the hall to the bedroom.

He's still in the dazy sort of half-sleep, sheets rucked down to his waist, face partially pressed into the downy pillow, so she sets her cargo down on the side table and climbs back in beside him. Penn snuggles into the warmth of his body, lifting up one outstretched arm so she can wriggle underneath it, letting it settle as a comfortable weight across her shoulders.

She takes his stillness as an opportunity to study him with her own eyes at half-mast, but, within five minutes of memorizing how the ringlets of honey-coloured hair curl around the tops of his ears, his nose scrunches up once, twice, before he cracks a hazel eye open.

"Is tha' coffee I smell?" he murmurs, lifting his head off the pillow to scent the air, and she nods as she brings up a hand to push the crumpled waves off his forehead.

"An' eggs. Made s'me eggs, too."

The arm over her shoulder tightens and curls, pulling her in closer until he can tuck her head under his chin. "G'bless. You're th' best thing."

"Mm, I know," she mumbles back as he presses a kiss to her forehead.

His answering smile is the sunrise.

   ("Y'know, th' food's gonna get cold if we wait much longer."

"'M comfy here, though."

"Slaved over that, I did. Over a hot stove. For you."

"I know, love.")

[theliterateape]

I Like to Watch | The Streaming Stories That Prop Me Up Through Chaos

by Don Hall

Oh, so much hay has been made about my ludicrous third divorce. I suppose the just get over it impulse of the GenX male bristles but I'm now in that bizarre bubble of truly grappling with the past seven and a half years and the unsettling reality of figuring out what I'm going to do beyond eating, sleeping, and the act of merely surviving from day to day and that flies in the face of the simple keep on keeping on ethos.

Yes, I finally contracted COVID for about four days and, while the actual infection mostly felt like allergies or a solid head cold, the follow-up hangover has been two straight weeks (and counting) of the worst head/chest cold I've encountered. You know, stuffed up mucus-head, couching up phlegm until you feel like you been doing sit-ups non-stop for days, pretty tired most of the time. In the meantime, I'm helping my folks navigate dialysis three times a week and a father who can't hear, see, or walk most of the time (when he’s in good shape, the man has stories galore) as well as helping mom deal with her yard and basement and Halloween decorations (her joy is infectious) all while jumping through the bureaucracy of getting a Substitute Teacher's license in Kansas so I can make enough cash to pay my meager but required bills. All of which is to say, I have a lot of time on my hands.

I read an article about how breakups were like experiencing a death and that stages follow the Elisabeth Kübler-Ross five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. I can justify that in my recent experience but my stages of grief have more to do with my desire to drown myself in the stories of others that have or are going through something similar.

I couldn't find a single documentary or program or book that deals explicitly with a husband finding out his wife of a few years embarking on a nearly three-year campaign of infidelity with a lover plus a new vocation selling herself for sex to strangers so I do my best. Interesting, I've reinvented myself half a dozen times in my life but this one is different. Those reinventions were my choice; this one is not. It's the difference between moving from Florida because of a new job prospect or a desire for snow and having to move because Hurricane Dana leveled everything you have without mercy or thought.

Here are my versions of those five stages of grief:

Disillusionment

"Is this really happening?" For a few weeks immediately following the quickie divorce and her moving only eight yards away from my place, I was in a headspace that wasn't in denial but in a great swirl of confusion. What had happened exactly? Was what she told me real and, if it wasn't, what the fuck did it all mean? The revelations handed to me like a platter of dogshit put into question everything I had experienced since coming to Vegas. It all seemed surreal and kind of unbelievable.

I leapt into two Apple TV+ shows.

Shining Girls starring the amazing Elizabeth Moss based on a novel about a time-traveling Depression-era drifter who must murder the "shining girls" in order to continue his travels and the girl who survived the assault and struggles to figure out what the fuck is going on as she connects her attack with the murders of women over the course of time.

Severance, which tells the tale of a biotechnology corporation, Lumon Industries, using a "severance" medical procedure to separate the non-work memories of some of their employees from their work memories. One severed employee, Mark, gradually uncovers a web of conspiracy from both sides of the division.

Self Recrimination

I was a dupe. The dumbest motherfucker in the history of marriage. A moron who believed in a fictional wife. The guy used to provide rent and living cash so the fake spouse could simply go off and do anything she wanted while I paid the bills. The dipshit conned.

Funny, most men in a position adjacent might decide to go postal on the ex-wife, the boyfriend, or the johns involved. I decided to prosecute myself.

TV shows came to the rescue to show me how I was not alone in my complete brainless acceptance of a sham marriage.

The Dropout, starring Amanda Seyfried as Elizabeth Holmes, one of the most deceptive and oddly charismatic con artists of modern history, demonstrated that a good liar is mostly believed out of a self delusion. People believed her because they wanted to believe her despite the massive red flags in her story.

The theme of why people get hoodwinked by these scammers is extended in the excellent Inventing Anna and the tawdry The Tinder Swindler. I felt like a rube, sucked into a false reality that I accepted without challenge or interrogation. I trusted someone who was almost universally selfish and self serving even at my expense and loved her anyway.

Escape

At some point, perhaps by month two, I desperately needed something unrelated, categorically stupid mind candy. I love my reality TV but Survivor was in recess, I'd watched every Gordon Ramsey thing available, and I could not stomach any of the reality dating shows for obvious reasons. I turned to MTv and The Challenge.

Thirty-eight seasons. Four off-shoot seasons. Hundreds of hours of watching former Real World, Road Rules, and contestants from a host of other competitive reality TV shows live together, drink too much, fuck, and compete in extreme challenges involving oceans, mountains, and anything conceived of by the cracked mind of host TJ Lavin.

Spending that much time watching these kids connive, fight, compete, make up, betray, and ally with one another felt like I was living with them and not in my own sordid reality. I am now a bona fide fan of most of the more veteran Challengers and look forward to their dumbass exploits eagerly.

Comeuppance

I never felt the need to exact any sort of revenge on my ex-wife. It was what it was and no amount of anger or spite would change it. It wouldn't make me feel any better. That said watching someone exact brutal revenge against those who wronged her at the behest of a duplicitous lover and a film about a guy doing his best to erase his quirky girlfriend worked wonders.

Kill Bill Vol. 1 & 2 is a perfect one-two punch. Better than all the John Wick movies combined (and I love the John Wick movies) and ending with the lying, vengeful Bill being killed using his own technique, Tarantino's homage to kung fu movies and Uma Thurman was a balm.

I feel Joel's pain in Michel Gondry's Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I did my own culling of memories. I deleted every single photo of her, of she and I, of things that reminded me of her. I shuffled off items and clothing (including a t-shirt she bought me from her boyfriend's death metal band). I couldn't (and can't) rid myself of the constant nagging sensation that any good or fun thing we did together was somehow poisoned by her duplicity. Especially almost anything we enjoyed together in Nevada. Sure, Joel falls back in love with Clementine after erasing the bad stuff but for me that's all that remains—the lies, the cheating, the prostitution. I suppose prostitution is like red onions on a sandwich—even a little bit overwhelms everything else.

Now What?

I'm now in Kansas. I'm fundamentally safe—from her, from the possibility of her falling on her ass and coming to be saved, from the pestering feeling that I am everything she saw when she tossed me away like a used snot rag. And I have all this time. So I watch stories of men my age starting over. Tales of GenX dudes whose lives just didn't add up to any standard of success. Men like Johnny Lawrence and John Nolan.

Cobra Kai is almost perfect in every way. Five seasons of pure joyful nostalgia but updated to reflect those of us who we the same age as the original Karate Kid in 1984. After decades of simply losing his way through life, Johnny Lawrence finds a new path that morphs into another new path that makes him a hero in his own story.

The Rookie is not perfect. It's not even especially good. It tells the story of John Nolan, a contractor whose marriage blows up and in a journey quest to redefine himself joins the LAPD as a rookie cop some thirty years older than everyone else in his class. I didn't intend on bingeing this show but I watched the first ten minutes when he puts his wedding ring and divorce papers in a safety deposit box and wept like a kid surprised that a bee sting hurt.

Now, I'm along for the ride of an older guy reinventing himself in the least likely scenario possible. No. I don't have any inkling to be a cop but the metaphor sticks.

The article I read rings true. A breakup does feel like a death. I'd argue that how one deals with death is an individual choice. Mine is television and film. Seems to be working as I haven't shot up a rollerskating place or eaten a pistol.

[thezodiaczone]

August Forecast for Aries

Lights, camera, Aries! This month is threaded with flamboyance and fun as the Sun burns a fiery trail through passionate Leo and your lusty, live-out-loud fifth house until August 23. This is one of your high-energy cycles (because Leo is a fellow fire sign) and a time when you’re at your creative best. Think of the ripeness of late summer, when everything is bursting with riotous colors and life force energy. That’s you right now. And if it isn’t, throw on something vibrant and get out of the damn house, stat!

With the Sun in this romantic part of your chart, there will be plenty of admirers hankering for a taste, especially at the August 11 Leo solar (new moon) eclipse, which will activate this same feisty and fecund zone. Eclipses bring plot twists and unexpected events, and since this one accompanies a new moon of beginnings, it could open a fresh, bold chapter. This month’s Leo eclipse could bring a new love interest, reawakened mojo or even a pregnancy. You might also get a sudden burst of fame or unexpected recognition for your talents.

This is the second-to-last eclipse in a potent series that’s been dropping down on the Leo/Aquarius axis since February 2017, recalibrating your approach to love, friendship, self-expression and teamwork. You’ve experimented with the spotlight and creatively collaborated, plus learned a few harsh lessons about love. The very last eclipse will arrive on January 21, 2019, a Leo lunar eclipse that will bring this month’s (and the last two years’) developments to a grand finale.

It’s also the third and final eclipse of this summer, and you may still be riding the waves of change from the previous two: the July 12 Cancer solar eclipse, which activated your home and family sector, and the July 27 total lunar eclipse in Aquarius and your teamwork zone. Since the impact of eclipses can resonate for months, your living situation or social circle could be taking a new shape as August progresses!

While it all sounds exciting, there’s one big obstacle to navigate, and that’s communication planet Mercury, which is retrograde in Leo from July 26 to August 27. Drama and diva antics can flare up fast, and you may need to dodge a few outsized egos. Careful that your own confidence doesn’t veer into cockiness, or that boldness doesn’t tip into brashness. It’s all too easy to miss the mark with your messaging as quicksilver Mercury runs roughshod over technology, travel and interpersonal affairs. Since Mercury retrograde can bring back people from the past, an ex or an old temptation could resurface; but is the (possible) thrill of a steamy reunion worth turning your life upside-down? Only you can say—but take adequate measures to protect yourself on all levels if you do go there.

Your ruling planet, Mars, is also in the midst of a biennial two-month retrograde from June 26 to August 27, which could further jam the signals. Mars has been reversing through Aquarius and your eleventh house of teamwork and technology, indicating stressful scuffles with friends and some possible misfires with online connections, from dating to work.

On August 12, Mars will back into Capricorn and your tenth house of career and authority figures. You may need to work through some frustrations at your job, with a client or upper management. A fast-moving project could feel blocked or delayed; use the next couple weeks to put out fires and fix any glaring issues—or to do important behind-the-scenes work instead of rushing to launch. That way, you’ll be uber-prepared in September. If nobody’s answering your calls or responding to your proposal, you might just want to use those vacation days and recharge your own batteries.

A few days prior, on August 7, disruptor Uranus will start its annual five-month retrograde. Fluctuating finances have been par for the course since Uranus entered Taurus on May 15, bringing exciting if erratic energy to your second house of work, money and daily routines. Uranus only comes here every 84 years, so it’s been a lot to process! As the side-spinning planet turns retrograde until January 7, 2019, step back and get a handle on your budget and bills. Risky undertakings or radical career changes might need to be temporarily delayed.

You’ll be glad you paused, because from November 6, 2018 until March 6, 2019, Uranus will back into Aries for one final trip, not to return again in this lifetime. You’ll have one last opportunity to make a major change or leave your trailblazing stamp on something authentically “you.” In hindsight, you’ll be grateful you didn’t rush to settle into anything binding. When Uranus moves out of your sign next March, you’ll have one final round of soul-searching and identity-crafting under your belt, better positioning you to make some pioneering money moves!

The scattered energy starts to gel during the last week of August. Mercury ends its signal-scrambling retrograde on August 19, and then the Sun settles into earthy Virgo for four weeks on August 23, powering up your sixth house of health, fitness and organization. You’ll have the urge to corral all the disparate pieces of your life—and your bountiful creative ideas—into something cohesive. After a decadent month, Virgo season can help you put a fall fitness plan together or start making seasonal produce a staple of your meals. The late-summer bounty will give you plenty of colorful and delicious options.

On August 25, all signs get a booster shot of luck as the Sun and structured Saturn and innovator Uranus form a grand trine—an equilateral “golden triangle” that’s one of astrology’s most auspicious aspects. As these three luminaries unite in perfect harmony, you might experience a major breakthrough around career and money. A lucrative long-term opportunity could have serious staying power if you play your cards right.

Ideally, the work should be something that lights you up, pays well AND gives you a chance to be the pioneering trendsetter that you are. With serious Saturn in the mix, you and all parties involved need to be operate with sterling integrity from start to finish: promises that are kept, clear deadlines and a solid understanding of expectations on all sides. If something doesn’t check all the boxes, it’s fine to say “no” and pass. You’re clearing the way for the perfect fit, Aries. With the bold Sun and unconventional Uranus teamed up, you might just find it in an unexpected way. Be proactive; don’t just wait for something to land in your lap, even though there’s a good chance it might.

The next day, on August 26, the year’s only Pisces full moon illuminates your twelfth house of healing, closure and transitions. These potent moonbeams will stir your subconscious and point you to your deepest truth. You’ll know whether it’s time to stay or go; and if you’re being held back by fears, la luna can embolden you. Both the twelfth house AND full moons signify endings, so in some way, a chapter or cycle is completing, making way for the new.

That next step could reveal itself quickly because on August 27, your ruling planet, ambitious Mars, ends its two-month retrograde and rockets ahead through Capricorn and your tenth house of long-term goals. Your career or a name-in-lights project could accelerate swiftly. Get ready to step into a leadership role and steer this venture to victory! Stressful in-fighting and workplace tension could dissipate. Leave any petty bickering behind you. With Mars heating up your most successful and collaborative sectors until November 15, the only way to go is forward—and up!

Love & Romance

On August 6, amorous Venus enters Libra for the first of two trips this year, bringing her romantic touch to your seventh house of committed relationships. For couples, this could be a beautiful time to get back in sync. Single? A connection could move quickly toward long-term status. But there’s no need to rush into an insta-engagement—apparently summer’s hot celeb trend thanks to Justin Bieber and Ariana Grande. Looking ahead, Venus will be retrograde (backward) in your partnership realm from October 31 to November 16. Issues you’ve managed to sidestep could come inescapably up in your union, or a budding relationship may hit a speed bump. This doesn’t mean jump ship; just be patient—and talk things out in a dispassionate and diplomatic way.

The fact that the other love planet, impatient Mars, is also retrograde—from June 26 to August 27—doesn’t mitigate matters. It’s been back-spinning through Aquarius and your social eleventh house, but on August 12, it’ll reverse into Capricorn for the duration of the pivot. In your tenth house of long-range planning, this could lead to confusion or disagreements about a shared future. Tempers may flare and fuses will be short, but try to see past the momentary disagreements (and certainly don’t be the one to instigate them!).

On August 7, Venus and Mars form a rare, harmonious trine, merging their energies and making for one of the year’s most love-centric dates. With Mars in reverse, things could shift directions suddenly or dramatically. A platonic friend could veer into the lover’s lane, or you might be able to take a giant step back and see a nagging issue from a fresh and enlightening perspective. This is one of the best days of the month for couples to do something fun together, perhaps revisiting a favorite pastime or hosting a party together.

More surprises are on the horizon this month, with messenger Mercury also retrograde in Leo and your fifth house of passion. There’s a galvanizing Leo solar eclipse here on August 11, which could point to an unanticipated romantic prospect or lead to an unexpected second chance with someone from your past. A pregnancy is possible for some Aries at this eclipse, or in the coming six months.

Key Dates

August 9: Venus-Saturn Square Slow your roll! While YOU may be feeling it, it’s possible that your love interest isn’t on the same page—or even reading the same book about the future. This cosmic yellow light urges caution. Before you go in any deeper, hit “pause” and discuss your long-term goals and desires. Chances are, you’ll probably both need to compromise.

Money & Career

A creative month is in store with the Sun moving through Leo and your expressive fifth house until August 23, powered by a rare Leo solar eclipse on August 11. You could have the opportunity to put your unique stamp on something or attract fame; but be careful where you wield that star power: with communication and tech planet Mercury retrograde (backward) in Leo until August 19, you’re at risk of coming across as brash or cocky. Run those risque social media posts by an honest, sensible friend before you press “publish” to make sure you don’t cross a line. If you’re feeling stressed, pick up an old creative or DIY practice—while channeling the muse, you could have some of your best ideas!

In between, you’ll have plenty of time to reflect on monetary matters. On August 7, unpredictable Uranus starts a five-month retrograde backspin, a time to corral anything that’s gotten a little too “all over the place”. Until November 6, Uranus will reverse through Taurus and your second house of work and money, helping you evaluate your earning and savings plans, and figure out some innovative ways to grow that nest egg. Need to supplement with a side hustle? You might go back to an old employer for a short-term contract or reconnect with a former freelance client.

Your ruling planet Mars is also retrograde from June 26 until August 27. It’s been in Aquarius, adding friction to your collaboration zone and making it hard to get the team on the same page. On August 12, Mars will back into Capricorn for the duration, adding some uncomfortable heat to your tenth house of career and authority figures. Pace yourself around any grand-slam goals—do you really have the right setup in place to pull this off? If not, slow down and build the infrastructure that will make this sustainable for the long haul, not just a short-term coup. You want more than bragging rights, Aries (although they’re certainly an incentive!). Think beyond the immediate and craft a master plan that can’t be messed with!

Key Dates

August 2: Mars-Uranus Square Teamwork might prove challenging under this edgy angle. Competing egos threaten to undermine a project. Be prepared to grab the reins and switch gears at a moment’s notice. The trick to keeping everyone calm is staying flexible and not overreacting to the dissenters.

Love Days: 11, 15 Money Days: 4, 22 Luck Days: 1, 19 Off Days: 12, 17, 26

[soyosauce]

The Benefits And Detriments Of Noir In Cybernetic Punk

The story of Cybernetic Punk takes place in the year 2138. Because of natural disasters and nuclear war, mankind lives in dome protected cities all across the globe.   They have colonized some of the planets and moons in the solar system, but colonist permission is granted to few and is sought after by many.  However, humanity has continued to evolve in their domed cities and thus the cyberpunk element of our story.

In the future world of Cybernetic Punk, cybernetics have become as common as cosmetic surgery in our time. Everything from cybernetic limbs to chip implants that enhance vision or connect the user to the global network. Because of the rise in cybernetic associated crime a special task force, Cybersquad, was started.

Billed as Blade Runner meets Elysium by way of every Raymond Chandler novel, "Cybernetic Punk tells the story of Gabriel Kane, a down on his luck police officer in Cybersquad, a division of the police force that investigates crimes committed by or against cyborgs. When an old flame turns up murdered with her cybernetic legs destroyed, Gabriel is flung into an investigation that takes him deep into the underbelly of Dome City."

The panels are gorgeous, the flow is excellent. Details pop, facial expressions are great. The aesthetic is fantastic. The story is a clear homage to the aforementioned touchstones. And, true to hard-boiled noir stories Gabriel gets his ass handed to him; frequently. From drastic measures to preserve his undercover persona, to the beatings he's constantly taking as he navigates his ex-lover's life, his progress is marked by his scars, so to speak. He's a thorn in the side of his superior officer, he's got a past that's being unearthed as he continues down his path despite the danger; and there is a huge stratification of class (the rich doing as they please, of course).

A key difference though, is that Katie, or KD 583, the Android and best friend and partner of Gabriel is introduced as sentient and human; discarding the somewhat tired question, "but would androids be human?" is welcome. Their financial situation precludes Katie's ability for "maintenance"... such as artificial skin to allow for her to navigate socially, apparently. On this, I would have liked to learn more for some nuance. 

I got the feeling that there may be more stories set in this universe (if it does well enough), as a lot of the questions I had about the characters themselves were more interesting than the actual plot unfolding simply because it followed the plot beats of a noir detective style story through and through; and, while there was some satisfaction in the inevitable plot twist, it did feel like a familiar dance instead of a new one. I also felt that the twist I knew was coming was problematic.

As noir stories tend to do, the women are often used as vehicles to express the terrible things in society, leading to terrible outcomes for them while repercussions ultimately escape others—the rich, the protagonist, etc. When women are only vectors for showcasing something in the setting the result is somewhat the opposite. They feel unimportant despite the initial intention because they are two-dimensional; existing to suite a purpose of the narrative rather than feeling like living, breathing characters. Something many noir stories struggle with and attempt to justify with the characters being centralized in the fiction.  

I did like that beyond the noir aesthetic technology is ingrained in the setting, culture, and story. The "cyber" part of the cyberpunk, along with cybernetics (obviously), was there and aided the story.

The punk aspect, however, is difficult to find rooted in this story. He doesn't like his boss, clearly; abandoned the "good life" as a cop in the upper tiers to the slums...sure. But there doesn't seem like there are subversive elements in the fiction represented anywhere beyond maybe sexual deviancy, and we never get the impression the main character is particularly interested in that. Plus it's not framed as something positive or overly central to the story, anyways, nor is drug use. It also has doesn't have a nuanced take on mental health issues. In a noir story that isn't surprising.  

A lot of cyberpunk media doesn't make use of the style as substance, attempting to be transgressive in it's stark depictions of the environments. The world building reflects more than a typical cyberpunk aesthetic and that is when the narrative is at its best. In these moments the homage to Blade Runner becomes clear. The off-world colonies being desirable to the junk, domed cities across the globe like this one, serving as microcosms for the display of human nature at its worst, for instance.  

As mentioned before, the twist ending is problematic—in its attempt to complicate the natural assumptions of the reader during the unfolding narrative and subsequent clues it also further paints the victim in an even more unflattering light with some other connotations going on that I didn't dig. While it also featured the reveal of things gestating on the peripheral of the story, which was nice, I couldn't help but wonder if a subversion of these tropes would be more satisfying to read. 

In the end, Cybernetic Punk exudes style. Like all noir stories, I have more questions than answers at the end and I like that. It feels like this is supposed to be the start of a larger narrative that makes use of arbitrary, interesting details mentioned casually that may have big implications for society and the main characters but I don't know if that's true or not. It has the earlier trope of a world taken over by Asia but it's never explained why. Katie refuses to go out in public without artificial skin apparently, but we don't learn where that comes from. It is implied cybernetics are fairly ubiquitous, but is that privilege bound by the stratification of class? It seems like a lot of the world is implied via use of call backs to Blade Runner but there are divergences; how large a roll is technophobia in this cyberpunk story?  

The noir tropes are, at both times, a cozy blanket you can wrap yourself up in as the plot unfolds—as well as a stone that trips up the unfolding tale. In such a beautiful world leaping off the page, billed specifically as a Raymond Chandler-esk story, it is no doubt worth reading; if such a story is your jam. 

Cybernetic Punk is out digitally to backers of the Indiegogo project and is currently being printed. Find and follow the Facebook page for more information and where to buy the finished project here. 

[chroniclesmuslim]

February 10th, 2018

**real names have been changed for the sake of privacy. YES i changed the name of my muslim crush and friends to christian names. If you have any advice for me or any comments, please feel free to leave them. just a regular muslim girl trying to find love (the halal way)

So nothing really has changed since i made my last update. I texted him yesterday and initiated conversation. I kinda felt weird doing it though since this whole scenario is weird in general. i'm used to him hitting me up in the mornings while he’s at work and starting a convo and tbh i think the main reason why i feel kinda iffy about messaging him first is because he had also told me in his "tbh" moment that the reason he wasnt 100% interested in the beginning was because he felt off about how i initiated us talking from the beginning. that a girl should make a guy feel lucky to have her and that he also figured that since i was the first to make the initial move, that must’ve meant i've done this in the past with other guys.

kinda funny though considering he's the first guy i've ever tried talking to. im sure he realized after the thursday meeting (if he was still unsure) that i've never done this before. highlighted by my awkwardness + shyness. i remember there was a moment where there was a silence and i looked up to him looking at me. which kinda freaked me out and made me look down, and when i looked up again he was still staring at me. and legit i looked up and down for a solid 10-15 seconds. ugh im legit sooo awkward lol why can't i talk. but on a side note i just found out that some guys find a girl being shy as "cute". i hardly think he thought my behavior was cute though lol more so annoying for the fact that we ARE friends and i didnt know how to act like one.

i know that even though when i met him on monday for the first time (since like last year), i was even more shy. I would cover my face and mouth with my hands and not look at him that much. but he was able to control the conversation and kept making jokes etc etc. that was the main difference between the first meeting and the second. i was less shy in the second meeting but i guess my awkwardness was rubbing off onto him. i dont know how it'll go this week (heck idk if we'll even still meet) but i hope that i can be more myself and show him that im not as boring and awkward as ive been making myself out to seem. and i also hope he can take control again for when i DO slip up and get quiet.

but anyways back to the whole texting thing. i messaged him and it has been kinda choppy. tbh the flow of our texts is kinda similar to the flow of how our meeting went. choppy and silent lol. i keep thinking that he probably regrets talking to me and that he doesn't really wanna have communication with me anymore. it makes me feel sad. i want to bounce back at least through our texts but im not sure how to anymore. i forgot how we used to talk and how we used to be able to talk about nothing for hours. i dont know how to do that anymore which is weird considering that its only been 2 days since i was last able to. again i guess he's being nice about it but i feel like he's partly ignoring me again. like how he used to ignore me last semester. the only thing that made me kind of optimistic was how he mentioned that if i ever do come to see his dad at their store, his dad might think i was a druggie or something since not many desis come around to that area. he was basically trying to make a joke about my presence at the store after talking to his dad about another muslim customer that walked in. so that means he at least thought of me when he was joking with his dad. and then he sent me a snap afterwards of a song on the radio. which made it feel normal again.

i guess i might be overthinking everything but i KNOW that this next meeting will probably determine how things will go. i dont want to mess it up and i've been thinking of different ways to go about it. i wanted to text him and tell him how it's just hard for me to be myself with him in person still and i need to feel a little more comfortable around him before we can develop a flow in our conversations and stuff but then i figured i might as well tell him that in person. so at least thats one conversation we can have the next time i see him. plus he's a nice guy, one of the good ones, so i feel like if i told him how i genuinely feel and acknowledge the fact that im uncomfortable then he might feel the need to make me more comfortable. i also told “Amanda” about everything and she wants to come make a "guest appearance" the next time we meet up to kinda help navigate the conversation and make me feel more at ease with her presence.

i also DONT want to meet again at the cafeteria on campus. first of all, its soooo hard for me to hear him when we're in there. i guess bc of the kitchen and of the starbucks line and everyone sitting and talking near us and the fans overhead etc etc. i realized that one of the main reasons why our conversation was so choppy was also because i had made a mental list of everything i wanted to talk to him about (in hopes of not running out of something to say) but because of my list, i kept jumping from one topic to the next without actually stopping to LISTEN to what he had to say and then ask him a follow up question. like how the heck do i forget how to listen??? such common knowledge but of course i effed up on that too lol. another reason why i dont want to meet at the cafeteria is because i dont like sitting right across from him, it feels like we are in an interview and it doesn't help me relax but makes things worse for me. plus there's nothing to really do at the cafeteria. he eats only zabihah so we cant even order food. i was thinking maybe we could go to the gameroom and play a card game like uno or something. i know he wanted to go to the gym on campus and sit on the benches for the basketball court so we had more "privacey" aka not as many people around to bump into us lol but that's also kind of scary. because then we can't have a break and talk about someone we just saw and we would also be forced to pay 100% attention to each other. i dont know if i want him to pay that much attention to me when im acting all goofy the way that i am. but i know that if we go to the gym it would make more sense if “Amanda” bumped into us since she's always there exercising to begin with.

i just hope he hasn't given up hope on me. it's so weird to think about where we were a few days ago to where we are now. we were so comfortable and honest with each other. we still are honest and stuff but we aren't talking as much. we aren't sharing things anymore. it kind of feels like we are preparing for things to not work out. but i want things to work out. I know “Bill” and “Samantha's” relationship in the beginning was similar to ours. but they had the opportunity to see each other multiple times throughout the week so they got over this phase quicker. we only have the chance to maybe see each other once a week and since its a hassle for him to begin with he might just figure it's best to give up on the whole idea. i dont want him to give up on me.

i just realized its 12:01 AM and i missed Isha namaaz. so i have to make that up. i've been praying for him in my duas. before i would pray for his MCAT score and either an acceptance to medical school or for Allah swt to show him a path that will be the most beneficial and satisfying to him and his deen. now im starting to pray again and make dua that if we are meant to be then make it easy for us. (also for us to be meant for each other lol). i guess the reason why i feel so strongly for him is bc i haven't met any guy or even heard of another guy as hard working as him, as focused as him, as god fearing as him. we match in what we want in this dunyaa. and when i think about him in my future i see someone that i can pray with and be happy with. someone that i can feel safe with. i just hope he doesn't give up on me.

just take it one day at a time.

[vroenis]

How Do We Begin To Answer Some Of These Questions

Straight off the bat, it’s a shitter to not put a question mark at the end of that title, I’ll acknowledge that. Like everything I do, that’s very intentional and sure, annoying as all fuck. I hope that’s not too great a deterrent, tho, because I feel like this is a worthwhile discussion even if it’s going to be perhaps one of the most frustrating. But first, an image and a clear content warning for suicide and mental health.

I’m sure if you’re here on tumblr, there’s a good chance you’ve had some contact with social media in some form. That means you’ve also had some contact with folks posting about there not being much difference between their experiences with isolation prior to the SARS-COV-19 pandemic or Covid, as we’re now abbreviating it to for convenience, and the social isolation most commonly state enforced or at least heavily suggested under medical guidance.

It won’t surprise you that I’ll echo those sentiments; life for me in social isolation certainly isn’t much different at all. I have three close friends I see in person who I communicate with on the wire intermittently now on limited subjects, almost none of which are those I’m passionate about save for one - R, who digs many of the films and music genres I’m into, plus we’re both into Lego and I used to be into Gundam/Gunpla so I love talking about his new kits, but otherwise there isn’t much difference now to how things were before. It won’t surprise you that while I’ve not gotten around to an official diagnosis of such, the timeline being disrupted by the topic at hand, on top of the bipolar 2/mixed/whatever that already constitutes the state of living and experience my life is, I’m likely non-neurotypical.

At my age, due to some of my experiences but also with significant support from J, I think I’ve been fortunate to get a handle on some of my behaviours fairly well, but I’m still intolerant of a lot of stimuli in many ways. I’m good about it insofar as I don’t always have bad reactions, but it does mean I can’t always subject myself to things so avoidance is often the best course of action. Whether this means exposure to/indulgence in art, media, and experience including certain people or just types of cultural events if I’m not in the right frame of mind, or simply priming myself to be mindful and say little, monitor my behaviour and do my best to be measured and slow in my thought when responding, interacting with others can at times be difficult. It’s not impossible. I’m happy to say most of the time I’m extroverted. I love being around people. It may be in part the bipolar or perhaps just my character, for some reason folks seem to want to keep making a distinction between the two - sure - but I’m usually understimulated so being around people is often fascinating and enjoyable, equally so frustrating when I eventually and inevitably find myself unfulfilled but I’m learning that’s mostly on me and it’s my responsibility to catch it and be cognisant of my thoughts on that.

So here’s the thing about being bipolar or to be honest, I don’t really care whether it’s due to bipolar or non-neurotypical or not because it doesn’t matter. Here’s the thing about being in mental states that others aren’t always in because it’s really just about not being able to connect with people;

An individual craves connection with other people. I don’t want to speak for everyone, let’s not do that, that is to say I’m not doing that. I want to say that I, and any one other person, may want to connect with other people. I crave connection. A theoretical person wants connection. My pathing on this might be a bit hackneyed, apologies, but I have to think it thru a particular way - roll your eyes and/or have a chuckle, hopefully the psychologists in the room will do both;

You try to share and communicate subjects you want to connect on.

Sometimes you fail to connect with the individual for various reasons.

Sometimes you fail to connect on the subjects for various reasons.

Over time it’s difficult to find any people at all who want to connect on those subjects for various reasons - I think this may be fairly normal for adults.

Sometimes there are people who are interested in the subjects, but those people are difficult to connect with for various reasons.

Sometimes you end up successfully connecting with people on different subjects which is good, and those connections are enduring, nevertheless you still are left without connections on subjects you feel you need and want.

I feel like the text in italics in point 4/D (weird tumblr formatting) is important - that this may be fairly normal for adults - for many of us, bonding past our twenties becomes a little more arduous. We know what we like, what we don’t. We know what we will tolerate, what we won’t. Some adults are more easy-going, many of us have had some more rigorous experiences than others and not all of us, but for many of us that means we’re a little less accepting of certain behaviours. There’s a sense of not wanting to waste time and time wasting constitutes different things to each one of us. Navigating that is a spiky business, I’m sure.

That rolls into 6/F tho - it’s becoming more and more important for me to find people, or perhaps I should correct myself... connection... on those subjects I deem important. Culturally, emotionally, politically, and here it comes - artistically (the most important one :P (TONGUE POKING OUT IN ASCII ( EXCEL NESTED PARENTHESES JOKE))). A lot of that is loaded into what contributes to how I define my long-term relationship with J, for example, and how I assess the health of our relationship. A great deal of how we assess its health relies on us constantly communicating with one-another what our values are and connecting over them. Intimate relationships naturally don’t cover the full scope of adult interactions and experience, so it’s appropriate that we have lives outside of our experiences with one-another.

What do we do if and when we aren’t satisfied with the cultural, emotional and artistic engagement we’re experiencing in our lives? What do we do when we seek it out and don’t find it? What do we do if we begin to feel frustration at not finding it? Fatigue? Exhaustion? Distress and the onset of hopelessness? Am I replacing the distant, collective We article with I in order to make these personal questions? I’m not going to dance around that, of-course I am. I ask myself these questions every day. These are the questions in-between the presupposition and one of the answers I’m going to suggest, because there is at least one answer.

I don’t know if these were questions some of these people were asking, how can I know. I realise I often don’t put question marks in my writing because I’m attempting to suggest verbal intonation rather than correct grammar and it’ll have to do - I feel like there should be some kind of accommodation for that, I’m sure someone’s written something clever and contemporary about the function of grammar but I’m too lazy to go hunting for it. One answer to these questions if they were being asked comes from artists - the artists who may have answered them with devastating finality, and if you’ve read my journal thus far over the last few months, you know I’m going to talk about Jóhann Jóhannsson.

Jóhann Jóhannsson completed suicide.

This is the feeling I get when I say; 

‘I feel like we all failed to create a better world for Jóhann Jóhannsson, one where somehow we understood his experience, one where he was understood. One where what he was feeling was OK, and where he had the time and space to be however he was being and not have to worry about whatever it was - I don’t know what it was - paying bills, buying groceries, turning up to work on time, saying “good morning” endlessly,’

Does this mean he should have been able to live a life where he had no accountability or responsibility? Not at all, you know that’s not what I mean. I’m not advocating for people with mental health challenges to not ever have to do their best to live life and just have people do everything for them. We are more intelligent than that. We can step way back from the precipice of society’s complete failings in dealing with significant mental health and see that we still don’t deal well with anything that falls remotely outside the parameters of this bizarre definition of normal we seem to have. Contemporary society still doesn’t even have mechanisms to educate their own children in sexual health and behaviour under the definition of “normal” and you want to tell me we can deal with mental health? We don’t even know how do deal with stress - we haven’t figured out how to treat people of colour right and pay women equally in the workplace and you think we’re ready to tackle mental health?

So how do we think queer women of colour are coping on the mental health front, then? My life is no picnic but you know what? As much as I’m a first-gen migrant kid, I’m white-presenting, so as far as society goes, life is so much easier for me and that is a massive position of privilege that I did nothing to achieve, so before I’ve opened my mouth or anything about my sexuality, gender or mental health is known, I’m already perceived in society fairly well. Queer women and trans people of colour have it most difficult and yes, it’s not a contest, I’m not making it one but we all have these questions. Oppression is one question and connection is another.

For many reasons, we can’t have a discussion about suicide here. They’re not edgelord reasons either, put that away. Suicide is a complex and important topic we don’t talk about when it’s one-sided meaning text only with me writing and without the opportunity for you to speak, me to listen and for us to have actual dialogue. You and I don’t know one-another and if we do, then you have my cell number, my email address or some direct channel to contact me on and that’s how we should discuss it in a way that affords us time and space to do so. So while I won’t say anything further about suicide, I will say that while suicide is one answer it cannot and must not be the only one. It definitely isn’t, and people definitely find connection. I’ve found connection with people, but I’m still not satisfied. I still want better, deeper, more intense, more meaningful, more enduring, ever growing connections. How do we do that as adults with the increasing rigours and concerns we have to bear?

How do we begin to answer some of these questions?

[onlinemarketinghelp]

6 Ideas To Diversify Your Income Streams https://ift.tt/33Oo5k2

The more I diversify my income, the more I realize what a huge blessing it is to have the opportunity to do this. It not only allows me to experiment with new ideas, but I also have the comfort of knowing that if one income stream fails, I have several more to back me up.

Remember, if you go back and think about the basic personal finance equation: Income - Expenses = Savings. You can only cut so many expenses, but you can boost your income to limitless potential.

It took me awhile to learn how to effectively diversify my income, but now the possibilities seem truly limitless.

Plus, you've probably heard the saying that the average millionaire has 7 different streams of income? Where do you stand compared to this?

If you’re just getting started, here are six ideas to diversify your income and add more to your bottom line.

Quick Navigation

Start With Your Day Job

Invest In Real Estate

Crowd Funded Real Estate

Flipping a House

Owning Rental Properties

House Hacking

Offer A Service

Sell A Product

Become A Micro-Entrepreneur

Become An Uber AND Lyft Driver

Food Delivery With Uber Eats

Deliver For DoorDash

Invest In The Stock Market

Get Good At One Then Work on Another

Start With Your Day Job

We talk a lot about "side hustling" and multiple income streams, but let's face it, your day job is, most likely, your number one source of income. This is what most likely pays your bills and keeps food on the table.

For me I’d consider my “day job” my freelance income. Even though I’m self-employed, I view certain income streams as the ones that pay my bills and others are goal money or fun money.

But for others, your day job might be a true nine to five. Regardless, there are several ways that you can boost your income stream with your day job. Can you pick up shifts at work? Volunteer for overtime? Or, even asking for a raise can boost your day job income.

Invest In Real Estate

My income is fairly diversified right now. The next thing I would love to add more of is investing in real estate. Of course, it’s going to take me a good amount of time to get the cash saved up for this, but there are options to get started investing in real estate for as little as $500! Yes, serious, $500.

Here are my favorite ideas for investing in real estate:

Crowd Funded Real Estate

​One of the newest options for investing in real estate is crowd funded real estate. This is where you join others to invest in a rental property – either commercial or residential. The great thing about this is that there are low minimums to get started, and you don't even have to be an accredited investor.

RealtyMogul – RealtyMogul offers investors a variety of properties to choose from, including residential, mixed-use, commercial and retail. They don’t charge their investors fees, instead placing that burden on the property holders. Investors can start seeing a return just a few weeks after the project is funded. We are partners with RealtyMogul, and they're one of the best platforms out there right now.

Streitwise – One of the most popular real estate crowdfunding sites, Streitwise has a minimum investment of $1,000 and charges between approximately 2% in fees. The site is ruthless about which projects it accepts – only about 5% of proposals are chosen. Streitwise is another one of our favorite sites simply because of the range of investment properties they have to choose from, but also because you don’t have to be an accredited investor to invest – they are one of the only platforms that allows this currently.

Flipping a House

​I know many people think that flipping is a very risky business and it can be, it just depends on the real estate market in your area. I have successfully flipped a house before (the one and only time that I tried) and I can’t wait to try it again.

Owning Rental Properties

​Owning rental properties is not for the faint of heart. You have to be able to plan for vacancies, repairs, and deal with renters. While I haven’t completely ruled out owning rental properties I’m not sure that I’d want to deal with tenants. I’d ideally use a property management service to handle this for me. However, this could still be a great way for you to diversify your income.

If you have a little more to get started, check out Roofstock. With Roofstock, you can purchase single-family turnkey investment properties directly online! Check out Roofstock here >>

House Hacking

​Along the same lines as owning rental properties, you can get started investing in real estate via house hacking. This is where you leverage your own property as a rental - maybe by renting out a room or turning it into an Airbnb listing. My best friend did this in college and basically had his roommates pay for his house!

Offer A Service

After your day job, your next step might be offering a service of some sort. This service should be based off of your skill set, your free time, and your hobbies.

A few ideas to get this started are:

Lessons

Writing

Resume Help

Coaching/Consulting

Tutoring

Babysitting

Social Media Management

There are both pros and cons to offering a service. The big pros are that you get to set the hours, choose the pricing, and pick the service. The cons are that it can take time to build up clients and that you’re still trading time for money.

We have a ton of other ideas for service-based side businesses here.

Sell A Product

This third idea will require initial time upfront, but then can become a passive income source. The royalty trickle of income can take a lot of upfront marketing to make successful, so don’t expect to create some sort of product and start raking in the big bucks. Earning royalties requires hard work!

With that said here are some ideas:

Write an eBook: Anyone can become an author on Amazon. In fact, I tried this a few years ago. All you have to do is write your eBook in a word doc, format for Kindle, and upload to Amazon’s Kindle Direct Publishing program. The process is simple, however, making sales and getting your book to rank high is a ton of work.

Sell Stock Photos: There are so many places that you can sell stock photos for royalties. If you’re a photographer this could be an excellent side gig for you. Just a couple places to sell your photos are 123rf.com and freedigitalphotos.net

Create T-Shirts: Do you ever see ads on Facebook for T-Shirts that have your name or occupation on them? Those ads are usually from people who create the T-Shirt and then advertise to you through Facebook. If you end up buying one of those T-Shirts the creator will earn a royalty. If you like this idea here’s an interesting podcast on it from Side Hustle Nation.

Become A Micro-Entrepreneur

I view micro-entrepreneurship a little different than selling a product or service. Yes, it's still side hustling, but it's about being able to do it on your own terms, but not totally having to start your own business.

Check out these ideas below and see if any of them make sense for you.

Become An Uber AND Lyft Driver

I love the idea of ride-sharing as a side hustle because it's one of the few "jobs" on here that you can truly do 100% on your own time. If you want to drive in the middle of the night from 2am to 6am, you can!

​All you need is a car and some spare time. Just sign up with Uber and start driving people around. You'll make what you put into it.

To maximize your earning and profit potential, you need to sign up for both Uber and Lyft and use both apps at the same time.  

To get started:

Sign Up To Drive With Uber​

Sign Up For Lyft (and see their current bonus offers)

Food Delivery With Uber Eats Or Instacart

If you don't like the idea of having people in your car, then maybe delivering food is the best avenue for you to take advantage of your car and earn extra money to diversify your income.

You can also deliver groceries with a service like Instacart. 

Or, maybe you don't even have a car? You can make money doing delivery with Uber Eats with a bike or scooter in some cities as well!

Sign Up for Instacart here.

Sign up for Uber Eats here.

Deliver For DoorDash

DoorDash is another delivering service that has been growing nationwide. Again, it's an alternative to not having people in your car but still getting paid to deliver.

More and more restaurants are signing up, so you can likely find gigs in your area. Sign Up For DoorDash.

Invest In The Stock Market

A mostly passive option to diversifying your income is investing in the stock market. Since Robert is the investing expert around here, I��ll leave you some of his posts on creating a monthly income through investing to check out:

How To Start investing With Just $100

How To Get Started Investing In Your 30s

Why Lending Club Is My Favorite CD Alternative

However, just like anything, investing does take a little up front capital to get started. However, you can build a dividend portfolio and start seeing rewards right away (albeit small). But the power of compound interest is a huge force, and you'll soon see your income stream grow!

Check out these great places to start investing (including M1 Finance where you can invest for free):

Open A New Brokerage Account

Broker

Promotions

Get Started

Up to

$600

Commission Free

No Monthly Fees

Open Account

Up to

$3,500

$100 Cash Bonus for Deposits of $25,000

Commission Free Trades for Deposits of $25,000

Open Account

Commission

FREE

Investing

$100 Minimum Deposit

No Commissions

Open Account

Get Good At One Then Work on Another

My motto for building multiple streams of income is to get really good at one thing before moving to something else. Trying to take on too much at once will only set you up for failure.

Pick one thing, master it, and then add another income stream. Over time, the income streams will start to compound and you'll start seeing massive growth. 

This is how you build wealth for the long run.

How do you diversify your income?

The post 6 Ideas To Diversify Your Income Streams appeared first on The College Investor.

from The College Investor

The more I diversify my income, the more I realize what a huge blessing it is to have the opportunity to do this. It not only allows me to experiment with new ideas, but I also have the comfort of knowing that if one income stream fails, I have several more to back me up.

Remember, if you go back and think about the basic personal finance equation: Income - Expenses = Savings. You can only cut so many expenses, but you can boost your income to limitless potential.

It took me awhile to learn how to effectively diversify my income, but now the possibilities seem truly limitless.

Plus, you've probably heard the saying that the average millionaire has 7 different streams of income? Where do you stand compared to this?

If you’re just getting started, here are six ideas to diversify your income and add more to your bottom line.

Quick Navigation

Start With Your Day Job

Invest In Real Estate

Crowd Funded Real Estate

Flipping a House

Owning Rental Properties

House Hacking

Offer A Service

Sell A Product

Become A Micro-Entrepreneur

Become An Uber AND Lyft Driver

Food Delivery With Uber Eats

Deliver For DoorDash

Invest In The Stock Market

Get Good At One Then Work on Another

Start With Your Day Job

We talk a lot about "side hustling" and multiple income streams, but let's face it, your day job is, most likely, your number one source of income. This is what most likely pays your bills and keeps food on the table.

For me I’d consider my “day job” my freelance income. Even though I’m self-employed, I view certain income streams as the ones that pay my bills and others are goal money or fun money.

But for others, your day job might be a true nine to five. Regardless, there are several ways that you can boost your income stream with your day job. Can you pick up shifts at work? Volunteer for overtime? Or, even asking for a raise can boost your day job income.

Invest In Real Estate

My income is fairly diversified right now. The next thing I would love to add more of is investing in real estate. Of course, it’s going to take me a good amount of time to get the cash saved up for this, but there are options to get started investing in real estate for as little as $500! Yes, serious, $500.

Here are my favorite ideas for investing in real estate:

Crowd Funded Real Estate

​One of the newest options for investing in real estate is crowd funded real estate. This is where you join others to invest in a rental property – either commercial or residential. The great thing about this is that there are low minimums to get started, and you don't even have to be an accredited investor.

RealtyMogul – RealtyMogul offers investors a variety of properties to choose from, including residential, mixed-use, commercial and retail. They don’t charge their investors fees, instead placing that burden on the property holders. Investors can start seeing a return just a few weeks after the project is funded. We are partners with RealtyMogul, and they're one of the best platforms out there right now.

Streitwise – One of the most popular real estate crowdfunding sites, Streitwise has a minimum investment of $1,000 and charges between approximately 2% in fees. The site is ruthless about which projects it accepts – only about 5% of proposals are chosen. Streitwise is another one of our favorite sites simply because of the range of investment properties they have to choose from, but also because you don’t have to be an accredited investor to invest – they are one of the only platforms that allows this currently.

Flipping a House

​I know many people think that flipping is a very risky business and it can be, it just depends on the real estate market in your area. I have successfully flipped a house before (the one and only time that I tried) and I can’t wait to try it again.

Owning Rental Properties

​Owning rental properties is not for the faint of heart. You have to be able to plan for vacancies, repairs, and deal with renters. While I haven’t completely ruled out owning rental properties I’m not sure that I’d want to deal with tenants. I’d ideally use a property management service to handle this for me. However, this could still be a great way for you to diversify your income.

If you have a little more to get started, check out Roofstock. With Roofstock, you can purchase single-family turnkey investment properties directly online! Check out Roofstock here >>

House Hacking

​Along the same lines as owning rental properties, you can get started investing in real estate via house hacking. This is where you leverage your own property as a rental - maybe by renting out a room or turning it into an Airbnb listing. My best friend did this in college and basically had his roommates pay for his house!

Offer A Service

After your day job, your next step might be offering a service of some sort. This service should be based off of your skill set, your free time, and your hobbies.

A few ideas to get this started are:

Lessons

Writing

Resume Help

Coaching/Consulting

Tutoring

Babysitting

Social Media Management

There are both pros and cons to offering a service. The big pros are that you get to set the hours, choose the pricing, and pick the service. The cons are that it can take time to build up clients and that you’re still trading time for money.

We have a ton of other ideas for service-based side businesses here.

Sell A Product

This third idea will require initial time upfront, but then can become a passive income source. The royalty trickle of income can take a lot of upfront marketing to make successful, so don’t expect to create some sort of product and start raking in the big bucks. Earning royalties requires hard work!

With that said here are some ideas:

Write an eBook: Anyone can become an author on Amazon. In fact, I tried this a few years ago. All you have to do is write your eBook in a word doc, format for Kindle, and upload to Amazon’s Kindle Direct Publishing program. The process is simple, however, making sales and getting your book to rank high is a ton of work.

Sell Stock Photos: There are so many places that you can sell stock photos for royalties. If you’re a photographer this could be an excellent side gig for you. Just a couple places to sell your photos are 123rf.com and freedigitalphotos.net

Create T-Shirts: Do you ever see ads on Facebook for T-Shirts that have your name or occupation on them? Those ads are usually from people who create the T-Shirt and then advertise to you through Facebook. If you end up buying one of those T-Shirts the creator will earn a royalty. If you like this idea here’s an interesting podcast on it from Side Hustle Nation.

Become A Micro-Entrepreneur

I view micro-entrepreneurship a little different than selling a product or service. Yes, it's still side hustling, but it's about being able to do it on your own terms, but not totally having to start your own business.

Check out these ideas below and see if any of them make sense for you.

Become An Uber AND Lyft Driver

I love the idea of ride-sharing as a side hustle because it's one of the few "jobs" on here that you can truly do 100% on your own time. If you want to drive in the middle of the night from 2am to 6am, you can!

​All you need is a car and some spare time. Just sign up with Uber and start driving people around. You'll make what you put into it.

To maximize your earning and profit potential, you need to sign up for both Uber and Lyft and use both apps at the same time.  

To get started:

Sign Up To Drive With Uber​

Sign Up For Lyft (and see their current bonus offers)

Food Delivery With Uber Eats Or Instacart

If you don't like the idea of having people in your car, then maybe delivering food is the best avenue for you to take advantage of your car and earn extra money to diversify your income.

You can also deliver groceries with a service like Instacart. 

Or, maybe you don't even have a car? You can make money doing delivery with Uber Eats with a bike or scooter in some cities as well!

Sign Up for Instacart here.

Sign up for Uber Eats here.

Deliver For DoorDash

DoorDash is another delivering service that has been growing nationwide. Again, it's an alternative to not having people in your car but still getting paid to deliver.

More and more restaurants are signing up, so you can likely find gigs in your area. Sign Up For DoorDash.

Invest In The Stock Market

A mostly passive option to diversifying your income is investing in the stock market. Since Robert is the investing expert around here, I’ll leave you some of his posts on creating a monthly income through investing to check out:

How To Start investing With Just $100

How To Get Started Investing In Your 30s

Why Lending Club Is My Favorite CD Alternative

However, just like anything, investing does take a little up front capital to get started. However, you can build a dividend portfolio and start seeing rewards right away (albeit small). But the power of compound interest is a huge force, and you'll soon see your income stream grow!

Check out these great places to start investing (including M1 Finance where you can invest for free):

Open A New Brokerage Account

Broker

Promotions

Get Started

Up to

$600

Commission Free

No Monthly Fees

Open Account

Up to

$3,500

$100 Cash Bonus for Deposits of $25,000

Commission Free Trades for Deposits of $25,000

Open Account

Commission

FREE

Investing

$100 Minimum Deposit

No Commissions

Open Account

Get Good At One Then Work on Another

My motto for building multiple streams of income is to get really good at one thing before moving to something else. Trying to take on too much at once will only set you up for failure.

Pick one thing, master it, and then add another income stream. Over time, the income streams will start to compound and you'll start seeing massive growth. 

This is how you build wealth for the long run.

How do you diversify your income?

The post 6 Ideas To Diversify Your Income Streams appeared first on The College Investor.

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